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psychicwavementality · 2 months ago

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🚨 🚨 ‼️ 🇨🇳🇭🇰 HK/CHINESE SUOPOST V2 PART 1 HAS LANDED!!

EDIT NOV 11 2024: So with recent Niisato interview news that Suo was designed to be a cool Chinese character, I have officially lost all words. Take my post as my "I called it so hard because it was obvious from the start, but I sure do appreciate the extra confirmation" cheer.

I never thought it would see the light of day because this draft got deleted like, 2 times and running. But it's here. It's finally here.

Below the cut is another long and lengthy Suopost V2 about his inherent Chineseness and, may I now congratulate, even further Hong Kongness! Not only that, but now we have Endo Yamato also starting to show signs of diagnosable Chineseness, and because my CN friend and I are ridiculously tweaky when it comes to overanalyzing characters who show even a smidge of Chinese in their eyes—this post was born! Sadly, because I am slow as hell when it comes to writing, this post only contains 11,000 words discussing Suo Hayato. You'll need to wait for Part 2 if you want to see me Hallelujahpost and Chinkpost Endo Yamato... blame my stupid baka life.

Now feast your eyes upon me having to correct my own errors in analysis that turns out to reveal even more Chinese connotations 😭😭😭💪!! This is VERY VERY long and has genuine deep analysis regarding a lot of China/HK culture/like 8 seconds of politics and 15 minutes of history + the weight behind some symbolism in Suo's name + theories regarding Suo's arc + Suo's absolutely yappable connection to 儒家思想/Confucianism.

Later in Part 2, we'll talk about Endo Yamato's biblical symbolism + alchemical influence + his connections to Suo, and how I can jokingly chinkpost him lol. I'll also be uploading a Reddit version of this post onto r/WindBreakerManga either tomorrow or the day after because I have to re-format a lot of things.

So strap in for a long and potentially mind-exploding ride because this is what happened to me while researching/writing all this. BTW, feel free to spam live commentary at me using Tumblr's comment function or something because I'd love to hear your thoughts while reading this whole gigantanorstus assfuck of a post... I'm not okay. I think I went insane. Niisato needs to pay me USD 1,664,800 for a new heart because I think mine stopped beating multiple times during research.

Before we begin, I'd like to tell everyone who has read my previous Suo chinkpost (v1) to DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT SUO'S FLOWER BEING PLUM BLOSSOMS. You'd think I'd be devastated to find out I have to retcon an entire analysis because I picked out the wrong flower. You'd be expecting Suo to lose Chinese aurapoints. I shit you not: he auramaxxed HARDER. It's like opening a Pandora's Box; you learn about the real flower and then 5 trillion more connotations are thrown at you at Mach 20. It is more over than I thought possible when I wrote the traditionally symbolic Chinese boypreggers marriage room part. And one connection caused me to spiral into another, thus stretching this post's wordcount into unholy numbers 😭

Anyway.

In Suopost v1, I thought these fuckass flowers [IMG 1] next to Suo were plum blossoms [IMG 2] and, ngl! They look plenty like them. But after I read this mind-blowing char analysis + theory document made by u/Snowy-kitten, my jaw fell as:

Oops, Suo's name means Chinese redbud [IMG 3], and if Sakura's flowers are sakura, then Suo's flowers should be redbuds. Damn, I got it wrong, time to rewrite my Suopost. Sorry for spreading misinformation gu—

...What are these flowers called in Chinese anyway?

why do i hear boss musicHOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THEY'RE CALLED 紫荊花. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH M

Taken directly from the wonderful and super informative document which I highly advise you to read to fully understand this post, especially if you have time:

Su (蘇) – sappanwood, a wood that can be made into medicine used to improve blood circulation, treat wounds, and alleviate pain. It also symbolizes revival, resurrection

O (枋) – sappanwood or a tough wooden plank that can be used for crafting, maybe symbolizing the bridge of communication between other characters?

Suo (蘇枋) – Sappanwood, a deciduous shrub of the legume family (ie a small shrub that loses all its leaves in winter), or Chinese redbud, symbolizing family harmony, can be used as treatment for fever (No wonder why Sakura recovered after Suo visited him)

Haya (隼) – Falcon, a symbol of nobility (high status + wealth) in Japan, also symbolizes bravery, power and vision, is an icon of pursuit and movement, heading toward success (Falcon in other cultures also symbolizes freedom, which might have something to do with Suo’s dream – the liberation of slaves)

To (飛) – Fly or Flight

Hayato (隼飛) – Flying Falcon

Analysis: Most likely the key to the success of Sakura or Bofurin’s rebirth, if Sakura became the leader of Bofurin, Suo would most likely be his right-hand, just like Hiiragi and Umemiya

- Although Chinese redbud symbolizes family harmony in Chinese culture, it also symbolizes betrayal/death due to betrayal in the Bible

- Unlike other characters, Suo’s name contains more than one species of tree, would this be a hint of him having more than one identity, hence the traitor theory?*

*I'll elaborate with my own understanding on the traitor theory expanded from the information I've gotten from u/Snowy-kitten's document. Please please pleaser read their theories and their analyses!! It's super super good and deserves so much credit and a lot of this post is built from it.

1. Suo and the 'Chinese Redbud'

Suo's name is extremely fucking insane if viewed from a cultural lens — specifically the symbolism of the 'Chinese redbud' as well as some themes of the 'sappanwood'.

If you're from HK you might already be freaking out with me when you saw those three Chinese characters: 紫荊花, AKA the Chinese name of Suo's second plant after the sappanwood. You might be thinking, User Psychiwavementality, is it truly joever as it is? Is there no coming barack from the HK suoposting? Have we found salvation? Is Suo from Hong Kong, better yet, the Wind Breaker version of Sun Yee On or 14K???

Unfortunately, I have to inform you: no. 🥲 Suo's flower is NOT the bauhinia, known as the '洋紫荊' yang zijing/bauhinia x blakeana/羊蹄甲屬 (yang ti jia shu) which happens to be the official flower of Hong Kong.

Suo's flower is the '紫荊花', or the zijing hua/cercis chinensis, which, in China, can be found in southwest Guangdong, southern Guangxi, and southeastern Yunnan the most. <- These could be places Suo hails from!

However, the Chinese redbud/ZJH and the Bauhinia/YZJ are often used interchangeably (and also incorrectly), causing confusion and mix-ups between both flowers, as HK's 'yang zijing' is sometimes shortened directly to 'zijing'.

Outside of WBK, this shortening is a topic of political discussion. For reference, there is debate around the could-be or could-not-be intentional omission of the 洋 (yang) character in Mainland China when referring to the yang zijing (making it simply zijing (hua) and not the YZJ) as well as how it affects HK.

There was discussion when the HK's Gov. omitted the 'yang' and referred to the YZJ as the 'zijing hua' in our Basic Law. If you want to get a gist of the discussion it feel free to Google Translate this image because mobile Tumblr only lets me embed 10 images and I need to use it sparingly lol.

From Wikipedia:

洋紫荊作為香港法定代表花卉，在《香港特別行政區基本法》第一章第十條提述香港區旗及區徽時被稱作「紫荊花」，英文版則使用泛指羊蹄甲屬的「bauhinia」。然而「紫荊花」一名除在中國南方多泛指羊蹄甲屬外，也可以泛指紫荊亞科的其他花卉，甚至特指紫荊屬物種紫荊（Cercis chinensis）的花。紫荊與洋紫荊兩個物種的花朵外觀有顯著分別，但因中國大陸媒體多依照「紫荊花」一名來宣傳香港市花[註 3]，引致部分中國大陸民眾誤以為香港市花為紫荊的花。

(Edited MTL):

As the legal representative flower of Hong Kong, Bauhinia is called "紫荊花 (ZJH)" when referring to the Hong Kong regional flag and regional emblem in Article 10 of Chapter 1 of the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.

The English version uses "bauhinia" which generally refers to the genus Bauhinia. However, the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)", in addition to generally referring to the genus Cercis chinensis in southern China, can also generally refer to other flowers of the subfamily Bauhinia, and even specifically refers to the flowers of the genus Cercis chinensis.

There are significant differences in the appearance of the flowers of the two species, Cercis chinensis and Bauhinia x blakeana. However, because the mainland Chinese media mostly uses the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)" to promote the municipal flower of Hong Kong, some people in mainland China mistakenly believe that the municipal flower of Hong Kong is the 紫荊花 (ZJH).

(I'm not shitting you when I tell you even Google Translate didn't pick up on the nuances between yang zijing and zijing hua 😭😭 also the scientific names have me tripping so the MTL might be wrong yet I'm too blurry to correct it properly... if any native Chinese speaker wants to write a proper TL in the comments I allow you to help me!!)

2. What does this mean for Suo?

The Lack of '洋 (yang)':

(This part touches a little on HK/China/UK history and politics.)

Now that you know the difference between the 'yang zijing' and the 'zijing hua', let me explain some possible symbolism that Suo might carry by having the ZJH as his other plant and not the YZJ.

In Chinese, '洋' means 'foreign'. And yes, Suo likes foreign tea and cakes. Anyway, some people think that the omission of '洋’ is a way to be politically accurate as it may carry connotations of HK being colonized by the UK, and the Mainland Gov. is known to be against the colonization of Hong Kong, often being reluctant to admit that HK belonged to the UK in a brief period of history after signing an unequal treaty. The Mainland Gov. commonly asserts that HK has always been a part of China even during the colonial period, claiming that HK was rightfully returned to its roots on the 1st of July, 1997.

Hence, there is the omittance of 'yang/foreign' from 'yang zijing', whether unintentional or not, when referring to HK's flower, resulting in many current-gen Mainlanders referring to it as the ZJH, which if intentional, could be used as a way to linguistically minimize the alienation between HK and China.

Theories/Speculation as to why it was omitted:

There are multitudes of reasons why Nii Satoru could have chosen to use the ZJH instead of the YZJ in Suo's name.

On a practical level, one reason may be because Suo's name is intended to have double meanings—sappanwood and the Chinese redbud—to show that he has two sides to him, most likely being connections to Chinese culture. Nii Satoru might have been unable to use this two-sided symbolism if he used the YZJ instead, hence why he used the ZJH instead of the YZJ; furthermore, there is a cultural story that comes with the ZJH that could very well coincide and foreshadow Suo's arc which I will explain soon. I personally think this is the most likely reason.

Another practical reason is that Nii Satoru genuinely had no idea there was a difference between the YZJ and the ZJH and, if he ends up revealing that Suo is a born-and-raised in HK lad, he made an honest mistake while trying to hint at Suo being from Hong Kong.

Nii Satoru could also not want to be too 'on-the-nose' when hinting at Suo having correlations to HK, OR he wanted to imply that Suo was originally from China and immigrated to HK at a young age — or it could be hinting at his ancestors moving from China to HK, which was common back in the 'golden era of HK' spurred forward by its advancement in the film industry as well as budding business opportunities for being an international trading hub. Either way, it could have meant to be a nod towards Suo being from China and not Japan/HK etc.

On a theory/canon level, Suo could have intentionally chose this Japanese name for himself and intentionally omitted the '洋 (yang)'/'foreign' character. He could've done it because he dislikes its implications, that he's a stranger in a foreign land (Japan). Or he could be touchy about his identity as a 'foreigner' — what differentiates him from the Japanese? Hence why he dresses and expresses himself so Chinese-ly — or he could've done it to show that he's freeing himself of his roots — people who leave their OG culture behind often become walking time capsules of That Particular Period, and the loss of '洋 (yang)' could also imply he's losing his connections to Hong Kong/the triad. The latter ties in with my tiny theory that Suo's hair is short because he cut it as a way to symbolize him breaking away from his shixiong/shidi, yet his past still haunts him in the way his tassel earrings resemble long hair at times. (The flower meaning of ZJH is also very very in line with this latter theory. I will elaborate more in my next part about the meaning of the Chinese redbud/ZJH.)

Suo could also be omitting this character on purpose to reconnect with his Chinese side after immigrating to HK and then Japan, I suppose? This might be EXTREMELY controversial to show in HK/China if he shows bias towards one side's culture by stepping away from the other, and I don't see a way this can be written without stomping on one side's good graces + provoking political disgruntlement amongst HK/CN readers, so this is probably not going to be an option up for consideration (hopefully).

Furthermore, if Suo also shows favor of JP culture/claiming that he's JP over being HK/CN as his arc and that he's abandoning his past identity as a Chinese/HK person, I promise you that some CN readers might become unhappy as there are long-standing grudges between the Chinese and the Japanese from WW2 that are too long to elaborate here. If you're curious to learn about it, search up 'Nanjing Massacre' and 'Unit 731' to see for yourself — please heed a TW for extreme brutality and inhumane torture.

OK, this is the last of all things political, but I promise the historical part will still continue. Let's move on.

3. The Meaning and Stories Behind the Zijing Hua/Chinese Redbud and The Yang Zijing/Bauhinia x blakeana

In Chinese culture, the Chinese redbud/zijing hua has a well-known cultural story behind it. It is deeply tied to the flower meaning of the Chinese redbud -- which has core symbolisms of familial reunion/love (親情) and brotherly harmony (兄弟和睦). And to any SuoSaku enjoyer's delight, they also symbolize steadfast love, passion, and affection; it is known to be a well-received gift for husbands and wives; it can even symbolize a strong and loyal friendship (if you're into that). The growth structure of a Chinese redbud, as said by a user in an online Chinese forum to whom I will graciously quote:

3、倔强坚强

紫荆花的花语为倔强坚强，紫荆花的花朵生长的十分��凑，就算在阴雨天气，叶片被大风所吹动，不断摇慎态摆，也不会掉落，好似一位倔强的人，永远不会向困难低头，努力拼搏，最终收获成功。

(Edited MTL):

3. Stubborn and strong

The flower language of the zijing hua is stubbornness and strength. The flowers of the zijing hua grow very compactly. Even in rainy weather, the leaves are blown by strong winds and keep swaying cautiously, but they will not fall off. Just like a stubborn person, they will never bow their head to difficulties, work hard and exert oneself to the utmost, and ultimately achieve success.

It can also symbolize new beginnings, just like Sakura's sakura:

紫荊花的象徵意義紫荊花象徵著愛情、美麗和純潔。在中國傳統文化中，紫荊花還被視為春天的使者，寓意著新生命和新的希望。

(Edited MTL)

The symbolic meaning of zijing hua symbolises love, beauty and purity. In traditional Chinese culture, the zijing hua is also regarded as the messenger of spring, implying new life and new hope.

Moving on to English sources, I've basically learned that the Chinese redbud:

Is not resistant to winter frost, but is generally able to survive the cold. Suo's favorite season may be winter, but both the sappanwood and the Chinese redbud are not resistant to either the cold or frost, with the first losing all its leaves in winter and the second potentially dying to snow/frost (like most plants lol.) Despite being resistant to the rain and heat of spring and summer and being able to tolerate degrees under 38°C (remember Suo not breaking a sweat when training in the summer with Furin?), Chinese redbuds fall short when it comes to braving brutal winters, thriving best when the temperature is above 10°C.

They bloom during spring, around March-April. Could this be a parallel as to why Suo idolizes Ume, the 'plum blossom' that can bloom in the cold of winter? For being able to stay resilient and stand proudly/beautifully even amidst harsh and stressful conditions?

Has many parts can be utilized for traditional Chinese medicine, cooking, and decoration. The wood and the bark have been used to treat abscesses, bladder ailments, and head troubles. Treats bladder diseases, post-partum discharges, bleeding piles, and internal parasites; its flowers are used for relieving rheumatic muscles and joint pain. Even the flowers can be eaten raw or pickled, containing vitamin C with a fresh and acidic taste. The bark of young shoots can be used to weave baskets, as the wood of Cercis species is generally of good quality. -> Suo's plants can both weave baskets and act as good wood...

Is also known for its ornamental purposes, and has a neighboring family tree—the Cercis siliquastrum, known as the 'Judas Tree', which is a symbol of betrayal. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus and committed suicide by hanging himself from a redbud tree. Additionally, I was told by my friend that u/Snowy-kitten realized the kanji for Suo's name is is 蘇枋（すおう), but the tree he represents is Chinese redbud (花蘇芳/ハナズオウ/hanazuou in Japanese). 蘇枋 and 蘇芳 are pronounced the same and one of the hanakotoba (flower language) of 花蘇芳 is apparently death by betrayal.

While the Chinese redbud/ZJH is known for these traits, the YZJ is a little bit different; it was difficult to find meanings and symbolism for the Bauhinia x blakeana due to it being a lesser-known flower + a sterile hybrid flower.

Locally, the leaves of the YZJ are considered "clever leaves" and a symbol of wisdom; sometimes harvested to be dried into bookmarks to bring good luck in studies.

The Bauhinia x blakeana is a hybrid between the Bauhinia purpurea and then Bauhinia variegata. But I could not find anything about the symbolism of the Bauhinia purpurea... I looked at some other ones in the Bauhinia genus, though.

From what I found, the genus has flowers that typically represent new beginnings (is he twinning Sakura?), feminine beauty (he's still ♂ fertile ♂ like that), grace, elegance, and nobility.

Bauhinia kappleri:

Historically, it has been seen as a symbol of unity due to its bilobed leaves resembling joined hands. This symbolism was especially prominent in cultures that valued harmony and cohesiveness. [...] Pink Bauhinia represents grace, unity, and resilience. Its delicate yet sturdy appearance communicates a balance of beauty and strength. [...] In Chinese culture, for instance, it symbolizes renewal and new beginnings [...] Meanwhile, in Western contexts, it often represents appreciation and noble elegance.

Bauhinia acuminata:

The Bauhinia acuminata's striking appearance symbolizes beauty, elegance, and grace. It is often associated with the ideals of feminine beauty and charm. In some cultures, these blossoms are seen as symbols of new beginnings and growth, making them popular choices for weddings and other celebrations.

Bauhinia variegata:

1. [...] the white orchid has held reverence throughout Chinese culture and stands as a symbol of nobility, beauty, and innocence.

2. The Orchid Tree holds symbolic meaning in several cultures. In India, it is associated with love, fertility, and prosperity, often featured in weddings and religious ceremonies. In Chinese culture, Bauhinia variegata is a symbol of beauty, grace, and the fleeting nature of life.

Bauhinia x blakeana in Chinese Sources:

在中國文化中，紫色常代表高貴與權力，而洋紫荊則代表了優雅和力量。此外，洋紫荊還象徵著團結和繁榮，這也使它成為許多盛大活動的首選花卉。

(Edited MTL)

In Chinese culture, the color purple often represents nobility and power, while the yang zijing represents elegance and strength. In addition, the yang zijing symbolizes unity and prosperity, which makes it the flower of choice for many grand events.

I have a headache. 🤕 Am I just yapping or was this all preordained by Nii Satoru?

Do you still remember that Suo's earrings are made of coral? The very coral that symbolizes a lofty status, auspiciousness, nobility, power, and eternity? 🤕

It's all coming together...

The Story of Three Brothers and the Zijing Hua Tree/田真兄弟：

This story could very well be a direct hint towards Suo's future martial siblings + how his arc will end. I vaguely remember(?) studying this passage for DSE unseen 文言文s so I managed to find it again. I'll cross-reference and do a direct word-to-word translation. If you understand Chinese I recommend just reading the 文言文 because it has more of the OG meaning 💪

原文/Original:

京兆田真兄弟三人，共议分财。生资皆平均，唯堂前一株紫荆树，共议欲破三片。翌日就截之，其树即枯死，状如火然。真往见之，大愕，谓诸弟曰：“树本同株，闻将分斫，固憔悴，是人不如木也。” 因悲不自胜，不复解树。树应声荣茂，兄弟相感，遂和睦如初。

註釋/Glossary

（1）京兆：京城地區。

（2）生資：生活資料。

（3）皆：都。

（4）唯：只有。

（5）破：使之破為。

（6）就：開始。

（7）即：立即；立刻。

（8）狀：形狀；狀態。

（9）然：通假字，同“燃”，燃燒。

（10）翌日：第二天

（11）愕：驚訝。

（12）諸：眾；

（13）斫（zhuó）：砍。

（14）勝��承受；控制。

（15）憔悴：枯死。

（16）故：所以。

（17）解：分解。

（18）其：他家的。

（19）堂：門。

（20）株：棵。

（21）遂：於是。

句子翻譯/Sentence TLs:

1、翌日就截之：第二天就準備截斷它。

2、狀如火然：形狀像被火燃燒過一樣。

3、樹木同株，聞將分斫，故憔悴，是人不如木也：樹本來是同根的，聽到要砍斷分開，所以枯死了，我們人都不如樹木。

4、樹應聲榮茂：紫荊樹聽到（田真的）話後（立刻）枝葉繁茂（了起來）。

My attempt at an English TL:

In the capital city [Beijing], the three Tianzhen brothers divided their property. All other assets [means of living] had already been evenly divided; all except the Chinese redbud tree/zijing tree in front of the door. They discussed and agreed to split the tree into three pieces each. The next day, they prepared to cut the tree down, but the tree immediately withered to death, as if it had been torched by a flame. The oldest brother looked at the sight and was extremely stunned, saying to his younger brothers: "This tree is originally from the same root. It heard it was going to be separated after it was felled, and thus, it withered. We, as humans, were no match for/couldn't live up to even a tree."

Because they were unable to bear with/contain their remorse, the brothers decided not to cut the tree. When the Chinese redbud/zijing tree heard the eldest brother's words, it immediately sprouted flowers once more. The Tianzhen brothers were astonished and emotional and thus returned to their harmonious relationship from the beginning.

From this, I'm heavily inclined to believe that:

Suo is one of three brothers/martial siblings.

Suo left/they left Suo due to family issues or family inheritance trials.

Suo's arc will end well, with all brothers reaching an understanding and becoming friendly again.

OR, Suo is the Chinese redbuds/zijing tree in this scenario.

Suo might end up facing Endo because the passage mentions 'as if it had been torched by a flame [状如火然]'. Endo's name is '棪堂' -> this also means something else which u/Snowy-kitten mentioned, it being 'a tree that bears edible red fruit' in Chinese, which contributes to Endo's biblestuff. But let's analyze it later in Endo's part.

Chinese can somewhat be considered playing Pictionary—if you separate the words from 「棪堂」 into three: 「木」、「炎」、「堂」， you could literally interpret this as, in 文言文/Classical Chinese, 「Tree/Wood」、「Flames Rising」、「Courtyard/Doorfront」

This coincides with the "Chinese redbud tree/ZJH" looking as if it "had been torched aflame" in front of the house/the courtyard/the door.

In conclusion, this might allude to Suo having to fight Endo, or Endo having to fight Suo to get him back due to a family feud—and Suo might get heavily injured. His martial brothers might realize the impact of their actions and finally retreat and make up.

Suo and Sappanwood:

Sappanwood can make a type of valuable red dye named brazilin.

The character of 'Su' (蘇) in JP also means resurrection, reviving, resuscitation, and rehabilitation.

The red pigment found in the sappanwood tree (brazilin) has also been used to treat wounds and ward off infections, encouraging faster healing.

Sappanwood isn’t as favoured for extracting dyes as brazilwood, though—the discovery of brazilwood led to a boom in red pigments due to its greater concentration, whereas sappanwood was much less saturated in comparison.

This is pure yappanese but maybe Suo sees himself as inferior compared to his brothers...

That's the color of the dye sappanwood creates and that is the color of Suo's eye and his coral earring. I don't need to say anything more, right?

4. FALCON KICK 𓅃𓅃 FALCON PUNCH 𓅃𓅃

Rejoice!! We have made it to the next section of Suo's name at last!! I never thought I'd get here!!!! LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK (it's not quick).

Again, from the document that u/Snowy-kitten wrote, "隼" means 'falcon' and "飛" means 'fly/flight', spelling out "隼飛" lit. 'flying falcon'.

Reviewing the Symbolism Blargh Off This Page: (OG text has been slightly edited)

"The falcon represents vision, freedom, and victory. Hence, it also connotes salvation to those who are in bondage whether moral, emotional, or spiritual." <- I find it very interesting that many of Suo's symbolisms tie back to things relating to a new beginning/healing: salvation, revitalization, resurrection, a new hope, etc., which falls in line with his dream: the liberation of slaves. And look, I know this possibly means Suo breaking free of whatever chains down his heart, but ACTUALLY Suo will be stuck in 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bondage and then be saved by EndoSaku. Trust me y'all I'm Nii Satoru's right-hand man

"In Christian symbolism, the wild falcon represents the unconverted, materialistic soul and its sinful thoughts and deeds. The tamed bird symbolizes the Christian convert pursuing his lofty thoughts, hopes, and aspirations with courage." <- I don't think Suo is wild or tame or Christian in particular, but you could take it as current-Suo suppressing and masking his true identity/emotions. And that actually makes sense when you remember how Suo nearly went Insanity.PNG during KEEL Arc and Sakura had to stop him from continuing to pummel a guy when he was down; when Sakura admitted he was pissed at himself and turned away Suo thought 'I really am no match for you'. On one hand, this could be explained extremely well if we view it from a Confucian + Suo's theory of adulthood lens which will be talked about later in Part 6. However, this could also symbolize Suo being bound in emotional chains and having... wtf, 'sinful thoughts'? That he's suppressing?? Maybe that's why he doesn't use his phone around people coz there's a bunch of 料 (blackmail) in there 🤣. And when Suo gets his arc I suppose he gets 'tamed' and is finally free to pursue his aspirations with courage (being with Furin and supporting Sakura), which will effectively act as another new beginning/his healing—further tying into his whole shtick surrounding resurrection revitalization healing salvation blah blah blah. (POV: the 'Suo has no Christian allusions' part comes to bite me back in the ass via. Taiping Rebellion parallels where an ethnically Han Chinese mf in Suo's triad or Noroshi proclaims to be "Endo's brother-in-christ" slash the brother of the WBK Jesus Christ. And then I kill myself)

"In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the falcon glyph was used in words and phrases such as 'god', 'pharaoh', 'greatness', 'year', 'sovereign', 'star', 'hour', 'prayer', 'land', and 'world'. It was associated with the deity of the sky, of kingship, and of the sun, Horus [...] In early dynasties, the king’s ascension was known as the “Flight of the Falcon”." <- Aha! AHA! YEAH MORE NOBILITY HOURS AND A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THE DEFINITION OF HAYATO. Okay. So. This is highly unlikely to happen but imagine Suo becomes the head of his triad branch. Or maybe this means that Suo is the heir to something lofty... deadass the fated ascension to big bad boss which he skedaddled from or was denied from, who knows?

"The Eye of Horus, the Egyptian symbol for the Sun, depicts a stylized falcon's eye and face markings. It signified royal power and protection from danger, evil, and ill health." <- More nobility/higher status allusions and illness-warding shit, typical Suo Hayato behavior.

"A human-headed falcon served as a symbol of the human soul on its flight from this world to the afterlife. Similarly, the crossed arms of Egyptian mummies were intended to symbolize the folded wings of a falcon at rest." <- And here we have more Suoshit related to afterlife-isms resurrection-isms and new beginnings-isms. Chat can I stop talking about Suo Hayato ... he's just a never-ending Pandora's 24-hour unboxing video...

"The sport of hunting with falcons was associated with nobility in Europe, Japan, and China, where falcons symbolized keen vision, boldness, and power." <- 'Takagari (鷹狩) is Japanese falconry, a sport of the noble class, and a symbol of their nobility, their status, and their warrior spirit.' - Wikipedia.

To continue with Wikipedia: In the 13th century, hawking became popular among the rising samurai class as well as among court nobles (kuge). At that time, the practice of hawking was a means of resolving struggles over land ownership among lords. <- This feels a little similar to the splitting of property mentioned in the Tianzhen brothers!

What's more interesting about falconry is that falcons typically wear 'falcon hoods' that blind them, which forces them to be calm.

The bird wears a hood, which is used in the manning process (acclimatizing to humans and the human world) and to keep the raptor in a calm state, both in the early part of its training and throughout its falconry career. Out of all the falconer's aids, the hood is the most important piece of equipment. There are various styles and types of hoods for raptors within falconry. The hood is handmade, often from kip leather or suitable kangaroo leather. —Wikipedia

Suo's eyepatch is made from leather as mentioned in his character sheet even though nowadays, a lot of eyepatches and most medical eyepatches are made with cloth and/or other adhesive materials.

What's more, a majority of traditional falconry gloves/gauntlets have tassels extremely close if not similar designs to the earrings Suo wears:

Remember when Suo once mentioned that he had an 'ancient Chinese dragon spirit sealed away in his eye', hence the eyepatch? Maybe there's weight behind that joke because he might lose his composure if the eyepatch is taken away.

If Suo is a trained falcon belonging to his family—although he's 'flying' right now, either for a hunt or free roam—he's been educated in a way that eventually, he will always turn back and roost on the gloves of his master.

"The falcon was seen as the bird of Princes, the gyrfalcon the bird of Kings, and the eagle the bird of Emperors. [...] A falcon [would be released] at the funerals of Pharaohs. This illustrates the ancient view of raptors as intermediaries between the divine and eternal heavens and the mortal earth." <- The 'bird of Princes' part really makes me want to believe Suo is truly in a high-ranking and potentially triad-inheriting position of power; he could really be a 'prince' of sorts for his gang... The O (枋) in Suo can stand for a 'sturdy plank', and even 'raft/boat', which might symbolize him being a bridge of connection between the 'divine and eternal heavens' (his triad/family/whatever dude) and the 'mortal earth' (Furin).

"Furthermore, falcons are represented by the constellation Aquila [lit meaning eagle], as are all raptors. This constellation is said to confer the qualities of boldness, ambition, courage, liberty, generosity, penetrating vision, and a noble spirit, along with a gift for martial arts and the fabrication of weapons.

"This contrasts with a vulnerability to and enmity toward reptiles and their symbolic qualities of deceitfulness, underhandedness (venom), vindictiveness, and baseness of spirit.

[OP's Quick Interjection: from the source some mf added a little 'that aint falco' after the following part and I gotta agree. But also, falcons and eagles are both under raptors as birds of prey, and from what I've seen, Suo is the only known person in WBK so far to have a bird of prey in his name, so I'll still keep this here as food for thought—as well as a theory I have for later.]

"Reflecting this opposition, the battling eagle and serpent has been a motif from ancient times, common to Western, Eastern and New World civilizations. See classical Roman statuary, the ancient coat of arms of Mexico and the Garuda emblems of Indonesia, Thailand and Ulan Bator. The dichotomy can also be seen in the eagle and the rattlesnake competing to be symbols of the Revolutionary United States in the 18th century."

Right. So. I have a lot to say about this chunk. The first is the numerous stories of raptors, mainly eagles, and serpents/snakes, as well as my theory that the family Suo has been sworn into will feature new characters with birds of prey as their joining kanji.

I'll elaborate on the latter first because it's shorter: so far, out of all of the named and introduced people in WBK up till Rooftop Fight, not a single person except Suo contains the character of an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey.

The only person who comes remotely close to having birds as a symbol is Chika Takiishi and the full-page spread ft. his fight with Umemiya which u/Just_EveB theorized to be the karura, which originates from the Garuda in Hinduism (will also elaborate later). But even Chika doesn't have any bird radical in his name. Shishitoren isn't exempt from this; the gang known for people with animal radicals only contains land mammals and reptilians:

Tomoyama Choji (兎耳山丁子) = rabbit

Togame Jo (十亀条) = tortoise

Sako Kouta (佐狐浩太) = fox

Arima Yukinari (有馬雪成) = horse

Kanuma Minoru (鹿沼稔) = ♫ Shikanokonokonokokoshitantan ♫

(There's also Inugami Teruomi who is a dog for "inu" but I CAN'T FIND HIS KANJI AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE??? FREE MY MAN!!!)

Even other characters who happen to have an animal in their name e.g. Hiiragi Toma (柊登馬) (馬 -> horse) don't have an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey, and no one has the radical for bird (鳥).

Hence, I'm genuinely going to go out on a limb and say that the family Suo has sworn into—or his biological brothers or martial brothers or whatever fucked-up triad business he's in—will have characters containing '鳥' (bird) or one of the following in their names: 鷹、鵰、鳶、鵟、鷂、鴞、鵂鶹、魚鷹、鷲, which are respectively eagle, eagle but different*, kite, buteo, the birds that are under here, owl, collared owlet, osprey, and vulture. OR, if these family members have Chinese names instead of JP, it's plausible they have the same pinyin pronunciation as some of these.

*Btw, this is the difference between a 鷹 and a 鵰. Don't even ask me tbh

Next up, let's talk about the correlations between birds of prey and serpents. I did some scouring through the internet and dug up quite a lot of stuff.

Let's first establish that the only person so far who has been shown with serpent/snake imagery is none other than Endo Yamato himself.

(And yes, I switched to desktop just to embed more images, I'm crying. Anyway, these panels are all taken from Chapters 144 and 145.)

The tattoo on Endo's neck, an infinity symbol, is derived from the ouroboros, a snake/serpent/dragon biting its own tail.

It symbolizes 'eternal cyclic renewal' or 'a cycle of life, death and rebirth'. Wow, so Suocore.

(BTW, in some religions... the ouroboros is also a fertility symbol. This just in: Suo, Sakura, and Endo are all ♂fertile♂)

I have so much more to say about Endo's tattoos but that's reserved for when I'm done with Suo Hayato... so let's go back to the topic of serpents and eagles and their tales.

Here's some prominent stuff I found:

Aesop's fable: This is the first example I managed to find. It's a story about how kindness will always be repaid. I honestly can't seem to think of a way this coincides with Suo/Suo's family/Endo etc. You can click on it to read the story yourself. Like, I think Endo's on a path to pseudo-redemption or at least 'potential future allies', and I can't see a reason why? He'd want to poison? Somebody?? Even 'figuratively'. Like, let's pretend my theory of Suo's family having birds of prey in their names is correct. Why would one of Suo's martial bros, or better yet the head honcho or something, swoop in to save this Countryman from Endoshittalk? But well, if anyone can think of anything, feel free to comment on it!!

Thus Spoke Zarathustra:

An eagle soared through the sky in wide circles, and on him there hung a serpent, not like prey but like a friend: for she kept herself wound around his neck. “These are my animals,” said Zarathustra and was happy in his heart. “The proudest animal under the sun and the wisest animal under the sun” […]

“That I might be wiser! That I might be wise through and through like my serpent! But there I ask the impossible: so I ask my pride that it always go along with my wisdom. And when my wisdom leaves me one day—alas, it loves to fly away—let my pride then fly with my folly.”

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, “Zarathustra's Prologue,” translated by Walter Kaufmann.

This is something that also came up, yet this is a more different example compared to the beginning—instead of feuding, the eagle and snake are in harmony, representing the mind and body becoming one, as well as taken from u/__Can__ from the linked Reddit post detailing what they symbolize:

It represents the highest strivings/capacities in man (eagle) and the lowest and more earthly/instinctive faculties (serpent). They are not opposed to one another but are rather one. Just like the other metaphor Nietzsche used, the tree (thought as the self-actualizing man) that if it wants to grow towards heaven (the highest in man) has to have its roots deep beneath the earth in the dark and evil layers of the psyche so to speak. You have to integrate your obscure and evil side in order to become whole.

There's a lot of tree imagery that I'm not really familiar with but know exists in WBK... such as that time Sakura's branch was nearly snapped off by Endo. To me this feels more like a general 'concept' that can be written into the story rather than an important foreshadowing towards future arcs ... plus I haven't read the book so I can't commentate on the philosophies of Nietzsche, so far the only thing I know about him is that he is one of the philosophers outspoken on overcoming Nihilism... taken from a deleted Reddit user:

People who haven’t read or understood Nietzsche think he is a nihilist, which is a bit understandable as his thought is complex, and he was a devastating critic of both dominant and trendy movements/institutions and their values. I believe he once described himself as a maggot that goes into a wound to eat away at the decaying flesh to clean it out. He also described himself as philosophizing with a hammer. In many ways, he is one of the intellectual fathers of postmodern deconstructionism. Which can often border on the nihilistic, but Nietzsche wasn’t simply trying to tear everything we believed in down for its own sake, his intention was to make things better.

From a site (really good read about Nietzsche and Buddhism):

Nietzsche aimed to overcome nihilism by affirming the unconditional embrace of existence. For him, life was not to be denied but rather created by one’s own value system, and built on the foundation of understanding that there is no inherent meaning in the universe. Nishianti describes this process as “dying the great death in the abyss of nihility and coming back to life again” (1983, 233). In doing so, active nihilism becomes a transitional stage rather than an end in itself. It is the abyss into which we must descend, “the darkest night before the dawn” (Nietzsche, 1968, 12). It is through the experiential stages of active nihilism that an individual strives for the heights of the ideal being, the übersmench. He asserted that living by one’s own ‘noble morality’ is characterized as a vigorous, free, and joyful existence, ruled by an innate “will to overpower, and will to rule” (1968, 16). From his works, it is evident that Nietzsche detested the weak and humble man who sought to escape the realities of life.

I can somewhat link Nietzsche's theories on nihilism with the process of creating the Philosopher's Stone (nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo), which is suuuuper interesting because Endo has vaguely alchemic symbols tattooed onto him. But again I'm digressing.

Norse Mythology [1] and [2]: According to ancient Norse mythology, the World Tree Yggdrasil has an unnamed eagle at the top and a serpent/dragon named Nidhogg at the bottom, and beneath the eagle there is a hawk named Vedrfolnir, standing for '"storm pale", "wind bleached", or "wind-witherer". Between them, there is also a squirrel named Ratatoskr who carries messages between the eagle and Nidhogg.

From Wikipedia: In historical Viking society, 'níð'(nid) was a term for a social stigma, implying the loss of honor and the status of a villain. Thus, its name might refer to its role as a horrific monster in its action of chewing the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd: those guilty of murder, adultery, and oath-breaking.

It's faster to just attach images of me and my friend tweaking:

I might one day do a separate post about Norsestuff and Furin because this is really interesting.

This entire Reddit comment section: Talks about the historical significance of the eagle and the snake in tales, depictions, etc. From u/Wayrin:

This symbol goes way way way back. There are depictions of eagles with snakes going back to Babylon and Elam around 3000 BCE. Of course the image was borrowed by everyone and the Egyptians saw it as Horus defeating Seth. Similarly Ahura Mazda was depicted as an eagle and Ahriman as a dragon. The Greeks borrowed the idea of the eagle as a symbol of resurrection from later Egyptian tradition and then it starts popping up everywhere. India, Indonesia, Rome and all over the Mediterranean. Most of these traditions use the Eagle to represent some great good. Usually a god related to the sun combating the forces of evil the snake. We believe the symbol to be borrowed and expanded (except for Mesoamerica) since they have so many commonalities. A lot of the stories have the Serpent winning over the Eagle before the Eagle triumphs. If you can access it, this is my source "Eagle and Serpent. A study in the Migration of Symbols." It was written in 1939 though so take it with a grain of salt.

And from u/tonycmyk, about ancient Mesopotamia:

[...] The snake/serpent has always represented the giving of knowledge to humans and the connection to earth. The eagle has always represented power over the earth and war. And this symbolism can be traced back through every ancient culture we know of and probably the ones we don’t. Powerful stuff.

Something not related to Suo: So about the Karura... the theorized demon JoJo stand that Chika has in the spread originated under 'Garuda' in Hinduism. You can read more about Garudas VS. Nagas here and the common point between Karuras and Garudas is that they're both depicted as people who feud constantly with dragons/serpents/snakes. In Hinduism, though, Nagas aren't depicted as evil like in Christianity. (And they're also a symbol of fertility... Endo's more ♂fertile♂ than Suo confirmed...)

5. Final Closing Notes on Suo

So, in summary, what do I think about Suo?

... What do I think about Suo... (crushing the chopsticks in my hand) I have multiple proposals as to what Suo is doing in Furin and what's going on with his family. And other Suostuff in general.

Falcon flying away: - To me, I see this as Suo leaving the family for a brief period, similar to how falconers can train their falcons to hunt but inevitably return to their owner. - If Suo's arc involves him cutting ties with his family, then this part could also symbolize Suo's desire to leave his original background behind in favor of Furin. - If the falcon symbolizes Suo's family as a whole, then this could represent the downfall of Suo's triad/noble family too, or that they're conducting some of their business elsewhere from their place of origin (*suspiciously Chinese ringtone starts to echo from my phone holder*)

u/Snowy-kitten's traitor Suo theory: Suo could be a spy in Furin. He could be scoping out the area for his own triad/gang/whatever. But what's most curious is the already-existing relevance between Endo and Suo that u/Snowy-kitten pointed out: Suo’s given name and Endo’s given name, Hayato and Yamato respectively are the names of two ancient Japanese tribes. [...] The Hayato is a tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed during the Nara period. The Yamato is another tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed alongside the Hayato. The Hayato frequently resisted the Yamato rule until the year 720 when the Hayato rebellion broke out. It was a rebellion of the Hayato against the Yamato. The rebellion ended in the year 721 with the Yamato being victorious. The interesting thing about the name 'Yamato' as u/Snowy-kitten also mentions is that its kanji (哉真斗) holds almost no meaning in JP. In Chinese, though, this can more or less translate to an expression, 'Ah, a real fight!' as '哉' in classical Chinese can be translated into an exclamation of sorts (「哉」可表示感嘆、疑問及反問語氣，相等於「啊」、「呢」、「嗎」), the '真' translates to 'real/true', and the '斗' (or 鬥 in trad) translates to 'fight'. So in the end, the Serpent VS. Eagle thing might happen in the form of Endo fighting Suo himself or Endo fighting one of Suo's family members.

Tsuge-chan and Suo: Remember this part?

Yeah, so, wtf was that? Fun facts on Tsuge's name from u/Snowy-kitten again (thank you bro you're saving my life):

I feel like Tsuge is going to be interlinked with Suo's backstory, that maybe he knows something more about Suo's 'family' than anyone in Furin should. Whether or not the XL river in Tsuge's name can be crossed with a bridge from another character's name or not... IDK we'll see if said bridge can be crossed when we get to it or burnt in favor of Suo lol... because Suo mentions bridge building in his character song gg

My final hard read on Suo's arc (take this with 2 mouthfuls of salt): - Suo will be called away briefly and leaves Furin either without notice or on short notice. He might leave behind enough clues to let Furin know why or where he's going. Or he might leave none at all, and Tsuge has to guess and explain what's most likely going on. - Endo might have to fight Suo in some way. Or he ends up fighting Suo's older martial siblings (the 'eagle') and triumphs over them. - If the oldest is truly the 'eagle', then there will be a younger one, the second-in-command, the 'hawk', like in Norse mythology. - I might come up with more stuff and I'll edit this into here as time comes.

6. I Lied

Suo isn't over. We still have to talk about how well he fulfills the shit we learnt in the HKDSE about our goat Johnny Hung's virtues/morals/principles.

So anyway, this is Johnny Hung our fucking GOAT!!!!!:

AKA Confucius lmao. Sorry it's an inside joke

This man is the reason I had to memorize so much classical Chinese sayings and literature that eventually culminated into Knowledge for the Suopost. It was all built towards this moment :( Let's start with an explanation of 論仁、論孝、論君子 as well as 五倫/四端！

...User Pyschicwavementality, wtf is this?

(Stares at you with the most depressed, sick, and haunted eyes) Chinese lore.

I will sadly not be sane if I explained every single one of these sayings to you guys. (Mutters) I mean I did have to memorize all of them back in the day but I'd kms elaborating on all of them so. I'm just going to take the relevant ones that could tie into Suo's character.

Let me first establish: the core of Confucianism revolves around "仁、義、禮、智、信、恕、忠、孝、悌". The arguably quote unquote """""important""""" ones (to today's discussion and in What I Learnt in general anyway) would be 仁義禮智信 and also 孝, of which I will now try? My best? To explain?? Please forgive me I learned everything in Chinese and it's really hard to do an accurate translation/analysis without going deep into culture and history 😭

CLASSICAL CHINESE 101

仁：This is read as rén. It is like... altruism, betterment, and love, I guess? Rén is how you interact with people, it is the innate connection and bond and interaction between human beings. (人與人之間互相關懷，尤其以關愛自己的親人最為重要。) It is respect and love and doing good deeds and Kind deeds out of our inner Goodness in our hearts. It is born from our inner individual and it affects our actions and what we do. We aim to always be a 'jūnzǐ' （君子）in Confucianism, someone who embodies all of Confucianism as the "self-improving and good-hearted" individual. To be empathetic and the kindest/most altruistic and loving person to one and all; to treat everyone equally from our innate Goodness—that is more or less rén. In the ideal society of Confucianism, everyone practices rén. This would mean society would always be harmonious.

義：this is read is yì. It is morality, justice, and helping others when in need. It is doing what is right and according to rén.

禮：this is lǐ. It is respect, treating people with manners, following social rules under rén, showing filial piety to your parents and elders, etc.

智：this is zhì. It is the pursuit of knowledge, creation, innovation, and improvement. It is having the intelligence to separate right/wrong and good/evil.

信：this is read as xìn. It is to have faith and belief in our beliefs and pursuits and our governing body. It is also integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. Whether it be a person, an organization, a business, or a government, they must have integrity as their core value.

(Additional) 孝：this is read as xiào and is essentially filial piety. Confucius believed that respect and love towards our parents should not be seen as an 'obligation', but rather something inner from the heart. There are four 'levels' of xiào: 孝順、孝敬、孝養、孝承 (xiàoshùn, xiàojìng, xiàoyǎng, xiàochéng). This is super complicated to go through so if you're bored and have tons of free time on your hands, feel free to run this PDF through a translator to get a better idea on what xiào is.

To get an idea on xiào, Confucius said that, if our parents became old and we only send them food and money, this is no different from raising a dog or a horse (孝養). He says, "Without respect (敬), where is there a difference?". When his disciples asked what we must do to respect (敬) our parents, he answered "We must not turn our backs on them [or more specifically, do not turn our backs on lǐ (etiquette)]. We serve them according to etiquette while alive; bury and commemorate according to etiquette after death."

But anyway, in turn, parents must also treat their children with all the above-mentioned virtues and said parents need to respect their parents with the same attitude as well. In theory, this goes both ways.

There's also Mencius' beliefs branched from Confucius' teachings (still part of Confucianism):

惻隱之心：read as 'cèyǐn zhī xīn'. This is your innate ability to feel compassion and empathy. Some people always see the "evil" around them and fail to see the goodness inside people and thus choose to be "evil" in turn. Mencius, one of Confucius' disciples, believed everyone was born kind and carried compassion. For those who are unfortunate, people will sympathize with them out of their own kindness; for those who are weak, people will have compassion for them and reach out to help them. He believed that people should never abandon their inner kindness, as kind people will always be rewarded by the kindness of others.

是非之心：read as 'shìfēi zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to differentiate right and wrong actions as well as morally incorrect/correct decisions others make and reflect on them to judge why it is wrong and what not to do.

��惡之心：read as 'xiūwù zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel shame and guilt for making mistakes or doing things that are not following lǐyí (禮儀). It is also feeling scorn/disgust for others who do not follow lǐyí (禮儀).

辭讓之心：read as 'círàng zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel thankful when others do something kind towards you, and you will feel like you need to pay it forward. It is giving others opportunities in exchange of your own and taking a step back to put others in mind first.

There's also the concept of inter-relationship hierarchy from the foundations of filial piety, which stipulates the order of respect should go from 君臣、父子、夫婦、兄弟、朋友 -> Lord/Emperor & Gov., Father-Son, Husband-Wife, Brothers, and Friends

Additional aid via. translations of my super helpful diagrams I made ages and ages ago about how to differentiate 仁義禮智:

(2) Analogy: POV you are in Ancient China and you see an elderly man killing a random guy

(3) Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for the guy being killed. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the elderly man killing the guy is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that the elderly man is killing the guy.

(4) Because in Ancient China, the lǐ [social rules] is to respect your elders [filial piety], but because the elderly man is doing something not in accordance with lǐ and yì (禮儀) [social rules and justice], you will do what is right (the lǐ action) and stop the elderly man from getting killed.

(5) Think: your choice to act and do correctly and the correct act itself is yì; your heart's inner compassion is rén; your ability to tell if the situation is in accordance with lǐyí (禮儀) or not is zhì; and the environmental/social rules = lǐ, e.g. respecting your elders. When you do actions that are not fulfilling yì, you feel guilty because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù). Rén is inner moral/virtue requirements [to be a 君子 jūnzǐ)，whereas yì is your outward action.

(6) Oh, and don't forget: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

(7) Adding on to the last sentence in (5), 'rén' is not a requirement; it is inner 'love' exuded from the heart. If you are forced or required to do so, that is not 'rén', that is 'duty'.

So how does this all tie into Suo Hayato?

(Shakes my fist full of documents) so this is where I start CRAZYMAXXING.

If you also lovehate this man you might have already made some connections between Suo and the above few values I've described. Otherwise let me elaborate: when dear old Niisato made Suo to be the most stereotypically Chinese lad ever, he also managed to include a shitton upstanding moral traits that a jūnzǐ (君子) would have, essentially making Suo an amazing representation of core Confucian beliefs (so far as of writing this post in my theory state of mind).

When Suo talks about 'growing up' or taking the steps to adulthood, he mentions one of the most important core values being able to make your imagination reality as well as empathy.

You could actually simplify rén into putting yourself in another person's shoes to see/think/feel from their perspective, and one famous saying from Confucius is to wish no harm to come upon others that you do not wish to come upon you, which ties in with Kanuma mocking the fallen Shishitoren member and only starting to feel panicked once he realizes the same harm was going to happen to him. ("己所不欲,勿施於人。")

Suo also insinuates the ability to chase your goals and turn them from dreams into reality is another part of 'attaining adulthood'. You can boil this down to being able to fulfill what you say/living up to your claims/fulfilling your beliefs. Honesty and integrity also play a major role in Confucian beliefs. There are a few sayings under xìn '信‘ that Confucius said about this:

5.1 A jūnzǐ (君子) must be mindful of what they say and do things swiftly/efficiently/quickly. 5.2 A jūnzǐ (君子) does not endorse a person just because he speaks favorably, nor does he reduce a man's worth just because he has a bad impression of him. 5.3 A jūnzǐ (君子) will feel shameful if he cannot go through with what he said he will do. 5.4 [Text Before Image] If one's name/renown is not righteous, his speech will not be reasonable; if one's speech is not reasonable, he will not be able to accomplish anything. If things are not accomplished, the law will not be able to reach into one's heart; if the law cannot reach people, the punishment will not be fair; if the punishment is unfair, the common people will be at a loss. [Text In Image] Therefore, leaders must be steadfast and reasonable in both what they do and what they say. When leaders speak, they must not be careless (read: 'whatever' energy) or rash.

^^ When you translate this, doesn't this essentially reflect Umemiya as a leader? Which also falls in line with Suo seeing Ume as his ideal 'picture' for adulthood and further aligning w/Suo's statement of 'making your imagination reality'?

It doesn't end here though...!!!

KEEL ARC! When Suo got PISSED as hell seeing his friends around him hurt, Sakura had to step in to stop Suo from losing composure in Chapter 50 | Extreme Emotions. Remember when I talked about explaining how this could be understood SO WELL from a Confucian lens in Part 4?

What Sakura said: 'I'm pissed as all hell at myself. I was talking big [I can 'em all on my own], and look what's happened. But getting pissed off isn't gonna help. We need to focus on what we have to do.'

(Pokes my finger at statement 5.3 and 5.4)

This ABSOLUTELY makes Suo's reaction called for ("I really am no match for you") because right now Sakura is embodying the core values of Confucianism better than Suo was moments prior. In that moment, Sakura was the one closer to being a jūnzǐ (君子). At that moment, Suo was the one who should've been learning and modeling after him.

Remember 羞惡之心 (xiūwù)? It is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.

Suo was disgusted/hateful at the KEEL member for hurting his friends. He may have reflected and felt shame when Sakura came up to stop him.

It's still not over though!

Suo has consistently shown contempt for those who are older than him yet do not practice the same values of 仁義禮智信! Another one of the major Suo moments:

"Goodness... How self-centered. Even to the very end. To teach others, you need to engage with their feelings and support them to stand on their own two feet for the first time." — Suo Hayato on the most Confucian thing he could say at the moment

How self-centered:

顏淵問仁。子曰：「克己復禮為仁。一日克己復禮，天下歸仁焉。為仁由己，而由人乎哉？」 [1] 顏淵曰：「請問其目。」子曰：「非禮勿視，非禮勿聽，非禮勿言，非禮勿動。」 [2] 顏淵曰：「回雖不敏，請事斯語矣。」（《顏淵》第十二）

(HIGHLIGHTED = TRANSLATED BELOW; EDITED MTL)

[1] "Rén is to restrain one's selfish desires and to conduct oneself in an honorable manner. Once you have done this, all the people of the world will submit to your benevolence and virtue. The fulfillment of rén depends entirely on oneself. How could it depend on others?"

[2] "How do you practice rén?" "Do not look; listen; speak; or do things not in accordance with lǐ."

Already, gymnast-guy has violated the above.

To teach others [...]:

"與人交,推其長者,讳其短者,故能久也。"

"When interacting with people, you should pay attention to discovering and promoting others' strengths, rather than always pointing out other people's shortcomings." [MTL]

Confucius was known to be a very open and benevolent teacher. He did not require students to pay fees; he simply wanted your desire to learn. Suo's really open with teaching Nirei and he matches the teaching style of Johnny Hung really well <3 He's very positive and uplifting when it comes to Nirei. Personally, I also like to believe Suo also sees a younger or past version of himself in Nirei which adds more layers to his intrigue...

Scroll back up to the part where I had three Instagram stories explaining how 仁義禮智 linked with Mencius' additions if you forgot about it. You can re-read what I said regarding the example of seeing an old man killing someone.

Then the gymnast guy talks about 'discipline', and Suo has a vision of his master, which he adds with: "'Discipline', 'training and passing down your teachings'... Okay! I've got a question, sensei! How are you supposed to act when you go barging into another person's home?"

(He's pissed.)

Rewording [2] from my Instagram Story Explanation: Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for Furin getting invaded and fighters/friends getting hurt. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the Noroshi invading Furin is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that Noroshi is invading Furin.

And once again, just like from KEEL: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì).

For someone older to be breaking 禮儀 (lǐyì) and speaking on how Suo's 'similar to him' and how he's having 'fun', this was The singularly most awful thing gymnast-guy could've done at the moment as someone Suo is meant to respect according to the age/skill hierarchy in Chinese culture. Not to mention the gymnast guy establishes himself indirectly as a 'teacher' in this scenario by using the phrase 'discipline'. It's even crazier when you realize that Confucianism explicitly believes that anyone can be a teacher to you because you do not know everything. There's literally a story about Confucius speaking with a 7-year-old who spoke so much facts that Confucius himself recognized the kid as a teacher. Suo taunting the guy asking what he could learn from the gymnast is NUTS.

Some other quotes that I think really match Suo's character:

子曰：「君子病無能焉，不病人之不己知也。」（《衞靈公》第十五）

“A jūnzǐ (君子) worries that he himself is incapable, and not that others do not understand him.”

子曰：「君子不重則不威；學則不固。主忠信。無友不如己者。過則勿憚改。」（《學而》第一）

"If a jūnzǐ (君子) is not steadfast/solemn/decisive, he will not be dignified; and what he learns will not be stable. Maintain loyalty and integrity as your main principles. Do not make friends with people who have lower moral standing than you/who are not as good as you are, and do not be afraid to correct your mistakes."

Final Theory Pitch: "Death By Betrayal"

"Death By Betrayal" in Suo Hayato's name based on the symbolism of the Chinese redbud might make one immediately think of his master and his family. Perhaps Suo's teacher passed and Suo's embodying his master's teachings, or his family has backstabbed/been backstabbed. If we go down the route of Suo still being an active triad member, then this may talk about his triad being betrayed and Suo having to briefly live/train with his master under a new identity. If Suo's former martial siblings (whom he respects, by the way, literally so xiào) want to reform the group, Suo might force them to align with his current set of values (which are extremely similar to Furin too—to protect the common people) and avoid harming innocents.

From another point of view this can also symbolize the "death" of Suo Hayato's former character, where instead he was the one who turned his backs on his clan/family first. Either to learn from his master who may or may not be dead, or to escape his supposed triad ties.

There is another piece of classical literature that I can yap about: 《魚我所欲也》. Here's a quickest translation of it possible:

“魚，我所欲也，熊掌，亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼，舍魚而取熊掌者也。生亦我所欲也，義亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼，舍生而取義者也。

"Fish, I desire it; bear paw [rare and believed to have medicinal properties], I also desire it. If I cannot obtain both at once, then I will sacrifice the fish for the bear paw. Life, I desire it; yì [to do morally correct/upstanding/good things], I also desire it; if I cannot obtain two at once, then I will sacrifice my life for yì.

生亦我所欲，所欲有甚於生者，故不為苟得也; 死亦我所惡，所惡有甚於死者，故患有所不辟也。如使人之所欲莫甚於生，則凡可以得生者，何不用也 ? 使人之所惡莫甚於死者，則凡可以辟患者，何不為也 ?由是則生而有不用也，由是則可以辟患而有不為也，是故所欲有甚於生者，所惡有甚於死者。非獨賢者有是心也，人皆有之，賢者能勿喪耳。

Life is something that I want, but there is something I want more than life [yì]! so I will not be greedy for immediate survival. Death is something I hate, but there is something I hate more than death [not fulfilling yì], so I will not avoid the evil that comes my way. If there is nothing that men love more than life, why do they not use whatever means they have to live? If there is nothing that men hate more than death, why do they not use any means of avoiding evil? By these means may we live, but some do not use them; and by these means may we avoid evil, but some are unwilling to do so.

Thus (it can be proved) that there are things that people want more than life, and there are things that people hate more than death. It is not only the 賢者 (virtuous man) that has this nature—all men have this innate nature, but the virtuous man can preserve and maintain it.

一簞食，一豆羹，得之則生，弗得則死。

A serving of food, a bowl of soup; if you obtain it, you will live. If you do not obtain it, you will die.

嘑爾而與之，行道之人弗受;蹴爾而與之，乞人不屑也;萬鍾則不辯禮義而受之。

Giving this to someone while mocking and hollering at them, normal people (people on the road) will not accept it because they feel disrespected; stepping on it before giving it to someone, a beggar would not accept it because it is unclean. The temptation (t/n: 萬鐘 is similar to 'bad temptations' or 'great benefits') for benefits: one will not differentiate whether or not it is aligned according to yì [etiquette/moral ethics] before obtaining it.

萬鍾於我何加焉?為宮室之美、妻妾之奉、所識窮乏者得我與?鄉為身死而不受，今為宮室之美為之;鄉為身死而不受，今為妻妾之奉為之;鄉為身死而不受，今為所識窮乏者得我而為之，是亦不可以已乎?此之謂失其本心。"

What do these benefits have that can help me? For a beautiful house, many wives, and for the recognition and thanks from poor people? In the past, one would sacrifice their life before accepting these benefits; but now, for a beautiful house, many wives, and the recognition and thanks from poor people, they will accept temptation. Can we not stop this? This is the act of losing one’s trait [of sacrificing your life for the greater good]."

A summary of this thinking would be to "捨生取義", lit. 'sacrifice your life to obtain yì/the greater good'.

It is completely possible that Suo, when raised or sworn into the triad, was taught by his master (either in secret or after he briefly leaves) about the importance of 'upholding the ultimate good', which may have caused him to realize his triad—which may or may not prey on the weak—does not align with his moral worldviews any more.

To escape, Suo could've decided to fake his death or leave behind his old self and turn his back as betrayal, which ties into his 'noble' symbolism and 'flying falcon' name in Hayato.

But tbh, I'm inclined to believe Suo's master was on okay terms with the triad because he/she had long hair. Suo's hair, as I've stated elsewhere, could be short due to hair being used as a major symbolism device in WBK as a way to say he's tried to leave his past.

Yet some things may be unable to be broken away from so easily, and Suo, a trained falcon, might be unable to leave behind everything. He was likely loyal since a young age and unconsciously finds himself lingering on old sentiments. Maybe his earrings are gifts from his master. Maybe his eyepatch is from his triad/family.

Still, Suo being from a criminal family and having distaste for Noroshi/KEEL is really interesting because we can see that he doesn't enjoy it when people lack empathy or cause pain to others. You’d expect him to react more to Choji’s gang because of their “violence for violence’s sake” going against his whole empathy tangent, but Suo seems to hate it more when someone finds interest in violence for meaning’s sake or violence for profit’s sake. I think Suo understands Shishitoren is built off violence to become stronger (<- literally the WBK OST), and everyone in SSTR seems to mutually be okay with this in-fighting. There's also a big difference between Suo clashing with SSTR and the other: he hasn't forged as deep of a bond with Furin compared to vs. KEEL and vs. Noroshi, and the latter two have made active attempts at hurting Furin through morally corrupt means (beating Nagato up and taking over Furin for personal gain).

Suo could've developed this sort of morality to distance himself from his family, who may have gotten infamous/profited off similar methods. (<- and this is really funny because Confucius has ALSO said that a jūnzǐ (君子) should not accept wealth or escape poverty if it wasn't achieved through morally correct means. A jūnzǐ (君子) cannot turn his back on rén in the span of a meal, and this remains true even during hasty and urgent times + when one is poor/wandering/living in tough conditions.)

A possible timeline:

-Suo is born to a rich family, possibly wealthy through a criminal empire.

-Suo dislikes his family because of his morals (may not have happened), and his family may dislike him back because he is considered “weak” (could explain why he’s the one who offers to help Nirei or why empathy as an adult is so important to him). Or, he's a super loyal lapdog and hella admires his brothers. Maybe they're the only good guys in the triad. Maybe they're really bad and Suo's also really bad. Suo might have two wolves inside him... the Confucian morals vs. Organized crime persona

-Suo studies Chinese fighting techniques and philosophy with someone (possibly a figure outside his family)

-Suo's family and/or mentor is betrayed/Suo betrays them

-Suo has to escape and create a new identity fully based off of his Confucian learnings.

...

And with that, I've said almost everything I need to say on the topic of Suo Hayato.

It totally didn't take 10,000 words or anything.

What's up next in Part 2?

I'll be writing Endo's version of this post and include some Suo-Endo joint theories and/or notes. Things to look forward to include Endo, Christianity, and alchemy... And maybe I'll even start yapping about the 0.2472983% potential Daoist/Taoist influence Sakura has.

I'll be back in 1 business century!

(Bonus) out of context convos and quotes my friend and I have said during the process of writing this that may foreshadow Part 2 or something:

Me: Picture Endo being Chinese too but it's Mainlander vs HK [Suo] beef

Me: WHO'S THE TAIWANESE 😭😭😭 IS IT UME??? HE HAS PLUM BLOSSOMS

Nakama: Okay so (crackposting) it's choji because of TW's association with the sun

Me: What if it's Chiitan [Chika Takiishi] and we get the Mainland x TWnese "forbidden" romance...

Me: But anyway I find it devastating choji would say cao ni ma wo che ne and its not even ooc

Me: ...Shit now I can imagine endo with a strong beijinger accent

Nakama: ...yamato儿(er) endo儿(er)

Nakama: ....chiika儿(er) takiishi儿(er)

Nakama: ...sakuraur harukaur

Me: endo going BEJINGRR WELCOMES YOU

"You not only ate, you devourered that like you were unaccountably peckish." —Nakama-kun 2024

Nakama: Waiting very politely for ur suopost to show up

Me: It might tonight, I'm typing like a keyboard warrior rn

Me: When u wake up it might be posted 😎

—A lie quoted from the 17th Aug 2024 at 3：57 PM GMT+8, a whopping one month and seven days ago.

"Y'know maybe suo's from oklahoma" —Me, delirious, 2024

The Suo Post's TLDR:

"WE NEED TO KILL HIM FOR BEING TOO CHINESE"

—User psychicwavementality after 1 month of crying in voice messages about Suo Hayato.

(Total word count: 11,781 words. Part One, scene!)

#wbk #wind breaker #wind breaker theory #suo hayato #more suo chinkposting #endo yamato #sakura haruka #THE suo chinkpost #we staying in 青山醫院 with this one 🔥🔥🗣️#feel free to quote and/or refer to this post in any future theories you make with credit!#part 2 coming near you in cinemas on ??/??#PLEASEEE reblog or add your afterthoughts/extra ideas if you enjoyed it #i poured blood sweat and DSE chinese notes into this #i also shat tears but that's irrelevant

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mimirekka · 9 months ago

Text

On your mind

You had been part of the Whitebeard Pirates since you were really young. You considered yourself lucky, everyone was nice to you and you felt loved by your crewmates. However, you never thought about getting involved romantically with any of them... In fact, you had never really thought about romance and relationships... Until a certain guy joined the crew.

Since you first met him, you couldn't help but wonder what was his secret. You couldn't get his face out of your head, he was always on your mind. So you decided your best option was to avoid him. Avoid talking at him at all costs, avoid looking at his cute freckles across the deck, avoiding sitting besides him at the table...

And of course everyone noticed it. You were well known for being nice and kind to everyone, getting really clingy some times even. So you giving the new member of the crew the silence treatment was really weird behavior from you.

You didn't even know his name, you couldn't hear it any time he said it -because you were so lost hearing your heart almost beating out from your chest that his voice couldn't reach your ears.

Eventually, Marco told you the name of the man that had stolen your permanent attention. Not that you wanted to know it, of course not... It wasn't you who left him a note on his desk asking the name of the new guy... Everyday... For two weeks... Until one day, when you were going to leave the note once again, there was a wanted poster on the desk, exactly where you usually left the note.

You took it in your hands, admiring the picture on the paper. It was him, and under his good-looking picture there was his name...

"Portgas D. Ace."

Things got worse from there, as you now had a name to daydream about. Everything on your mind was filled by him; his eyes, his freckles, his tattoos, his hair... And now, his name.

"Ace... Ace... Ace..." It was everything in your mind by now, at any time.

You sighed, as a smile drew on your face.

You wanted to pronounce his name, to call out loud for him. For him to turn around and look at you with those eyes that made you crazy.

However, it was... complicated, to say the least. You couldn't stand being close to him, you always ended up getting so nervous that you had to hide from his gaze. You knew that it was going to be impossible for you to talk to him like a normal person. You would be a sttutering, blushed mess!

But what you didn't know was that he had noticed the way you avoided him. And it made him upset, as he couldn't understand the reason behind it...

And he only wanted to be close to you... Because you were always on his mind as well.

♡➳➳➳➳➳➳♡➳➳➳➳➳➳♡➳➳➳➳➳➳♡

Hello everyone :D

It's been YEARS since I last wrote something like this (and in English even omg). However, I have fell into the One Piece hell and I am so in love with Ace that it's crazy 😭

I'll probably make a part 2, from Ace's pov. And who knows, if I am in the mood I'll even do a part 3?? idk

Btw I'm still learning to use tumblr, I used to post my one-shots on wattpad (im so old omg)

#portgas d ace #one piece #ace x reader #ace x you #ace x y/n #one piece x reader #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace x you #portgas d ace x y/n

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benevolentcalamity · 19 days ago

Text

Once a Father, Never a Daddy [Abusive!Doflamingo & Fem!Child!Reader][1/2]

I do not know him enough so I'm not at all confident in my ability to write him, so I apologize in advance. So I'm very happy accepting criticism/tips. (I'm just after Thriller Bark btw.)

Disclaimer: This fic contains graphic depictions of child abuse/neglect and may be considered triggering. Please do not read more if you cannot handle these themes. If you or a loved one has gone through this, you're absolutely not alone, and help/better days are always there.

Also, this is split in two because when you get fics too long, Tumblr just starts lagging and that REALLY annoys me. So I apologize in advance if pacing's not as stellar as most of my stuff. I'll make it up to you.

CURTAINS!

"DADDY, LET ME OUT!!!"

Your little hands bang on the impossibly still door until the skin splits on your knuckles. With all your might you scratch, slap, and pound on the wood, feeling it press a little stronger against you with your resistance. Tears pouring down your cheeks your hair stands on end as the darkness behind you settles in; a punishment you know too well.

"PLEASE DADDY, I'M SORRY!" You scream, hands already raw from struggle. "DADDY, PLEASE, LET ME OUT! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, I PROMISE!"

A harsh pound that rattles the door, resounding through your room, sends a piercing chill through your stomach and sends you to the floor. Scooting back and hurrying to your feet, you prepare for the doorknob to twist, for him to come barging in and demand you not make any more noise. But this is enough to scare you into silence - and he seems to know that now.

Softly you sniffle, reaching out as the all-too-familiar sound of the knob being secured and locked clicks. Wiping away your tears you stand, reaching and just barely wrapping your hand around it. With all your might you grab and attempt to twist; it doesn't budge an inch.

"... Please let me out..."

There's a sound like feet retreating from the door, and the loneliness finally hits as you back up, defeat weighing your shoulders. Slinking away, you turn back towards your room. First thing to catch your attention is your nightstand, bereft of the lamp Uncle Rossi gave you to cut through the dark. It had a smell to it, somehow, and you really liked it.

Without it you can't stand the dark - and as punishment for not doing what daddy said, it's gone. Wiping a stray tear from your cheek you grab your stuffed lamb Cuppy, putting him on the bed before pitter-pattering to your wardrobe.

creak

Your eyes shoot to the door, back stiffening as your hair stands on end. Every limb freezes, and your heart leaps into your throat. Swallowing, your hands go up to prepare to shield your head, lest your noise have bothered anyone. As your fingers chill to the bone, your knees lock and the darkness creeps back into your senses.

The doorknob twitches. Your hands fly to your mouth to keep from shrieking. Tears revived and leaking, you await on bated breath... It does make daddy especially angry, after all, when you try to hide from him.

You still have the scar on your arm.

A lump forms and engorges, threatening to choke you if you don't make a sound. You learned better from screaming "Go away" or "I hate you", so that's simply not an option. Gritting your teeth you step more into the open, hoping that an effort not to hide would let you get your lamp back. Hiding, running away... all of it is pointless.

After an eternity it jimmies and then turns after a few small clicks, and a familiar black and red lit up by the hallway relaxes you into relieved elation.

"Uncle Rossi-!" You whisper-yell, him putting a finger to his lips and looking behind him.

With quick movements he beckons you forward, and you rush to him in the time it takes to put a plate full of food on the small chair near the door. Kneeling down he pats your cheek and kisses your forehead, giving you a toothy, reassuring grin.

"Don't forget to eat out the window, and drop it once you're done. It's okay, dad won't notice one plate being missing," He whispers, ruffling your hair. "I'm not letting you go to bed hungry." He's done this every time. "... It's going to be okay, little cutie. I promise."

You nod. "... Does daddy still love me?"

For a moment he's quiet. His expression falls solemn, head lifting to look over his shoulder again. With a sigh, his hand ruffles your hair one more time, before suddenly he smiles again.

"I love you!" He chirps. The words wrap around your heart, like a soft fleece blanket, and like a charm, your sorrow is calmed, and your tears finally stop. "Don't forget that, okay? Uncle Rossi loves you."

Nodding, you finally manage to smile. "I love you too, Uncle Rossi."

His head snaps up again, and he pats your head and hurries out. The doorknob again is secured, and his feet fade out quickly. Swallowing, you grab the plate, carefully bringing it to the window. Unlatching it you crouch as the panes swing over your head, setting the plate of food - bouillabaisse - on the ledge and chowing down.

The moonlight peers out from the clouds like your only friend, and peace returns again to your heart.

"... It'll be different tomorrow..." You tremble. "I won't be bad again, I promise..."

Finishing with urgency, you drop the plate and fork into the sea, pushing the window closed and locked. Crawling into bed, you listen to the footsteps above your room, to the sea calming outside. Yawning, you drift into the now placated shadows, hugging Cuppy close to your heart.

___

A sound like something dropping to the ground above you wakes you with a start. Swallowing harshly you're quick to climb out of bed, little time to spare, and wipe your mouth as you rush to your wardrobe. You're just quick enough to grab one of your favorite cotton shirts, a pair of shorts, and a clean pair of underwear as the doorknob is unbound and unlocked.

You swallow, harshly, rushing towards the center again as dad's blond hair peeks atop the door. As he straightens back up, his head doesn't need to look long to find you. Feet planting in place, you watch, hands clenched to keep from shaking and lip wobbling, as he approaches.

"Behave, maggot," He hisses, holding his hand out.

Eyebrow quirked at you managing not to flinch, he impatiently taps his foot as you reach up to it. Harshly he grabs it, yanking you forward. His large pace forces you into a jog, matching his pace with every third step. At first you're staring up at him, waiting for him to even turn his head your way, to ask how you slept, or even just what you want for breakfast. Or maybe, just maybe, that he loves you and today it'll be different. Better, even.

None of this happens. Your bottom lip wobbles as the familiar doors to the bathroom appear past the corner.

"Take a damn bath." He shoves you to another crewmate, not even giving you a glance. "Watch it, keep it away from me."

Your hand reaches for him as you're guided into the bathroom. "Daddy?" Without a glance or gesture, your lip wobbles further, heart tying in knots. "DADDY!"

A dark cloud weighs on your shoulders again, guiding you to the bathtub as said crewmate puts some soap beside it and a towel. Patting your head in pity, he kneels down to murmur in your ear.

"Disobedient children aren't rewarded." The words are an icy dagger in your stomach. "... If you want your daddy to love you, maybe you should be a good child that deserves to be loved."

With that you're left alone, breath hitched in your throat as your heart runs cold. Staring at your reflection in the water, you cast aside your dirty clothes, stepping into it and sitting. The lukewarm water manages to chill you to the bone, to where you need to hug your knees to feel warm. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you glance at the door, waiting... and waiting...

You sigh, pinching your nose and turning sideways to completely submerge. Curling up, your [h/c] hair waves out in tendrils as your legs minutely twitch in unease. As your lungs slowly grow sore, you momentarily wonder if it's even possible to be good... What did you do? Why won't dad look your way?

Sitting back up, you gulp down air as the answer to your question comes from the red syrup of your shampoo.

"... Just do what daddy says?" Would that make him happy? Will he love you? Do what he says without complaining... Yea, it's as simple as that, isn't it? "... I'll be a good girl. I won't complain about daddy's work."

Yea. It's as simple as that.

Rinsing your head clean, you comb the conditioner from your hair under the running water. Reaching you grab the towel and brush, drying off and putting yourself together, painstaking as the process of brushing your hair is. All the same you finish, tying it back. Sliding back into your shoes you jump up onto the knob, it turning in your hold, and let the door swing open, taking you with it. Lowering back onto your feet, you turn-

"Get your ass to the poop deck." You're shoved into a pace, which you continue with a nod. "Captain's orders, help out with scrubbin' if you want breakfast."

"I understand."

It's unbearably hot.

Dunking your brush in the cold, soapy water, you wince at the glare of the sun on the sea, washing away dirt and scum. It takes a few swipes, being as small as you are, but you manage. It's a process that sees you biting your lip so hard in concentration that it bleeds, but you do your best, scrub until your arms are sore, and repeat.

"-and as I was saying, Rosinante, it's complete bullshit."

Dad's voice makes you perk up, and you turn a bit to see where he's coming from. A big smile is what you present as he and Uncle Rossi ascend from below deck, waiting for him to look your way. Dad doesn't but Uncle Rossi gives you a massive smile and thumbs up before dad jabs him, regaining his attention.

"We've had issues with this same supplier awhile now. The frequency of our visits is starting to annoy me."

Standing up from scrubbing, you take a deep breath. Pittering over to him you find his leg, swallowing. Rearing, you take a small leap, wrapping your arms around it like a peach tree.

"Daddy~!" You let out, hugging him tightly-

A harsh kick to your stomach, sending you all the way back to your bucket and straight onto your ass.

...

... Oh.

I'm not doing enough... You turn back to the bucket and brush, biting back tears. Just keep going... Do your best. Daddy will love you if you do.

All the same, your tears keep falling onto your hard work.

A hand on your head, ruffling your hair, tugs you from your sorrow. Looking up, Uncle Rossi crouches down beside you, pointing at your bucket. Now it's too cloudy and dirty to clean efficiently. Managing a nod, you wipe your tears with your arm, standing up and dumping the bucket.

Keeping a tight hold on it, you pause just as you're at dad's side, gaze turning from below deck to him.

"... Do you love me?" You ask.

Not even a glance. You raise up on your tippy-toes, tilting your head.

"Daddy?" You ask again. "Do you love me?"

Lowering, you wait, staring and waiting for what... really has to be forever. Before long though tears blur your vision, and you bite back a sniff as you rush below deck. Not good enough - you're just not good enough yet. If you work to the bone, if you're so to-the-letter it's painful, that's when he'll look your way. You just have to remember that.

Be perfect, and nothing less; push past your limits; endure and don't cry. It'll be unbearably hard, but if you manage to do all of this, dad has to love you.

It's not a long walk to where there's more water by any means. Operating the pump, that's the real test, but you manage just by jumping up onto it. It pinches down on your wrist every time it comes back down, but it doesn't hurt long. Rubbing the red marks it makes, you begin the arduous task of carrying the bucket.

Sloshing and rocking against your body, you stiffen your legs anytime you feel yourself wobble. When the water reaches and touches your chin you wince, staying still until it stops. Every maybe three steps and you're losing your grip, but still you try.

Something swipes the bottom of your feet, and your shrieks are drowned by the water pouring onto your face as you fall onto your butt. Bucket landing perfectly onto your head to hide your face, the cruel laughter of passing crewmates resounds through the rotting wood.

"Better mop that up, kid! You made that mess!"

For a moment you're stuck, legs too heavy to move. You try to move your arms, but there's no feeling. Swallowing, you try to open your mouth to complain, but the lump in your throat takes the sound before you make it. A mix of tears and water pours down your face, your jaw starting to wobble. Biting your lip harshly you force yourself back to your feet.

The bucket slides off your head, falling harshly to the floor. For a moment your gaze turns back to the steps leading above deck.

... Mop first.

Clutching your shirt tightly, your shoes squish against the floor as you go to find the mop, usually near the bathroom. Sniffling harshly, you wipe your face, shaking your head like it'll get rid of this horrible lump. Still your lips purse, and still everything hurts when the supply closet door opens. Reaching, you take the mop in your hands and take a deep breath.

Do your best...

'Watch it, keep it away from me.'

It. You.

... Get out of the way. Maybe that's what he wants.

As much as you want to go back, to try again, maybe it'll just be better to put yourself away. It'd be... a nice reprieve, maybe. And maybe they'll have something good to eat for lunch, seeing as you might not get breakfast after all. That's just what happens sometimes, after all.

You want to puke; to cry; to scream; to just run to Uncle Rossi. Everything and anything feels more like a dead end the more you think, until you've come up blank on what else to do.

"... I hate this..." You whimper, rubbing your arm as you pitter-patter back to your room. I don't know what's wrong with me...

... Someone, please...

Tears well up in your eyes.

Someone tell me what's wrong! Tell me what's bad! Please tell me, someone-!

Your pace picks up, eventually zooming past countless doors and shapes.

Just... How much longer...?

In what must have been a blink you're safe back in your room. For a second you turn back to the door, cheeks waterlogged and red, waiting for footsteps. Wanting someone to just scoop you up and hold you, tell you what's wrong with you - or that maybe nothing is... Is there?

Meandering to your window, you crack it open, and dad's voice is the first thing you hear.

"... Where's the problem?"

"What do you mean, Doflamingo sir?"

"I mean, where's the fucking maggot." Your heart feels a sharp, cold sting.

"She- it went back below deck. I can fetch it so it can keep scrubbing-"

"I didn't give it an order to do chores, I gave you an order to keep it away from me. Looks like it knows what that means. But enough about it. We're arriving to Foam Town shortly, for the supplier. Don't forget the orders."

"Get the Devil Fruit, and kill him, right?"

"Mhm. I don't take kindly to someone holding out on me. Especially when I've been so kind and generous. That won't happen again, though."

"Do you need Corazon to keep an eye on the kid?"

"Tch. It won't be an issue. Just as long as it doesn't get in the way of our business, I don't care what it gets up to... Ugh, but I'm going to hear it cry at some point today. Have someone get it some food."

"Understood, sir."

Backing up once you hear the sound of heavy footsteps, you meander to your shelf. Tugging a worn book from it - a collection of fairytales dad let you get when he looked at you - you hurry to your bed, jumping to get onto it without a hitch. Swallowing harshly you open it to a page with a family of rabbits stealing food from a mean old farmer's garden.

You like these stories, very much. But the pages are falling out, and you can't ask for a new one right now.

Just when you're absorbed enough to where the lump in your throat is gone, there's a knock at the door.

"Got your lunch, kid." That's not Uncle Rossi or dad. The door opens a crack and a bowl is haphazardly dropped on the small table. "We're landing soon. Be on your best behavior."

"... Thank you," You manage, the door slamming your reply.

Putting the book down you slide out of bed, going to receive the meal. It's a lobster risotto, dad's favorite. Tears well up again as you take the bowl back to your bed to eat and read. Dad doesn't care that you do so, you've been told, but you're still careful.

"... Foam Town. Okay." You mutter, something lighting up in your chest.

... This time, it's different.

#cw abuse #cw child abuse #anime #my writing #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #one piece #onepiece #one piece x reader

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izzasecretredacted · 7 months ago

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Homework for Those Who Have No Context for Drake's Public Execution

I've been an off and on fan of rap for a while, based on whether or not my hyperfixations takes me there. With the absolute blindsiding of the Kendrick/Drake beef breaking tumblr, I figured I go back and find some stuff I remembered hearing about in the past. I'll put them here as a brief history lesson, in case you want to know just what Kendrick is talking about and why everyone is rejoicing in the downfall of some popstar that you maybe heard at the supermarket or something...

btw, I'm not posting these in chronological order, but the order of how relevant I think they are and the order I think they're best absorbed.

youtube

This is an essay from about 2 years ago, and is the most indepth source that I'll post here. It talks a lot about Drake's place in Hip-Hop, and also goes into the idea of Drake as a culture-vulture.

This is a 3yo article that has a lot of "Fresh Hot Drama" vibes to it (might be a misread on my part tbf), but is a great secondary source of things that made people question whether Drake was a predator. None of it is completely definitive, but at least a handful of what's presented is very Yikes.

youtube

This is a very brief video that's a whopping 7 years old, but really only stopped being relevant this month (with the exception of a period in time about 2 years after this which will be clear later). It explains Drake's reputation as being untouchable whenever he finds himself in a rap beef, even when very real violence is involved. It also has some foreshadowing to present day. 4:06 in particular is really interesting in hindsight.

youtube

Lastly is the only diss track before now that really put a mark on Drake's reputation, even if it was a small one in the strictly long term. I'm posting a lyric video because the cover to the single is an old picture of Drake in the most blatant blackface imaginable (no, really, blackface is super fucked up in all forms, but this is ssuuuppppeeerrr fucked up) and I didn't want to lock this behind a content warning. The song mentions some of Drake's family (such as his parents, Sandi and Dennis), as well an extremely wild allegation that I guarantee you could not make up. You'll know what it is when it comes up in the song, it's why the song is called "The Story Of Adidon". Its also important to note that Drake admitted that that allegation is true... after a year.

I'm open to anyone else commenting on what I might've missed, but hopefully this should be enough that you can go through was is now an EP's worth of diss tracks from Kendrick and get a more full sense of what's happening around them.

#kendrick lamar #aubrey graham #meet the grahams #not like us #Youtube

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spooky-bunnys · 2 years ago

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Hello! Your Alpha Baji x Omega male reader was amazing! Could I ask for a part 2? Where after Ken knowinf about them Baji decides to be a little shit and openly flirt with his omega infront of draken!! Something along the lines of that!! (Amazinf writing btw, absolutely beautiful)

Yes you absolutely can! I was super excited to get this since the Alpha Baji x Omega Male Reader as the first prompt I wrote on Tumblr! Enjoy!

Draken's Brother

Part 2

Since Draken found out about Baji courting his brother things in Toman have been....different to say the least. Baji felt he didn't have to hide their relationship. Which lead to this moment. (Name) leaned against Baji. Arms wrapped around his waist. Baji talking to Chifyuu like it's a normal day.

Draken's eyebrow twitched. He stared at Baji. Glaring at the arms wrapped around his baby brothers waist. "What's up with Draken glaring at Baji like he wants to stab him?" Draken turned his glare to Takemichi who flinched at the look. Smiley came out behind Takemichi and threw his arm around his shoulders.

"Draken is just upset that his baby brother has found a potential mate~." The grin Smiley had said it all. He was enjoying the drama of this meeting. Takemichi looked over at (Name) and Baji and saw the way the older was holding the Omega. He watched Baji slowly lay his head on (Name)'s shoulder and pulled him closer.

He could hear (Name)'s laugh from where he was. Draken clenched his fist. He knew Baji was enjoying this. But in his opinion Baji was enjoying this a little too much. The way he was all over (Name). His hands sometimes wondering under the Toman jacket that Draken knew belonged to the black haired Alpha.

What was the breaking point for Draken is when Baji kissed (Name)'s neck making eye contact with Draken. "You little shit!" Takemichi watch Draken run down the steps to where Baji started cackling throwing (Name) over his shoulder and running off. Of course Draken being who he is follows.

Smiley grinned wider and turned to Mikey who was watching with an unreadable face. "Hey Mikey! Wanna make a bet to whether or not Draken catches him?" Mikey smirked and turned laughing loudly. "Of course Ken-chin will catch Baji! He let him get away with a lot but taunting him like that? Baji I doomed."

Toman watched the vice-commander chase the first division captain. Hearing a sweet laugher fill the air. Squeals was sometime heard as Baji would jump out of Draken's grabbing range. Mikey and Smiley were watching with hard expressions. Neither wanting to lose the bet.

But it was a tie when (Name) was snatch from them by Kokoni. "I'll be taking (Name) now for the shopping trip he was promised." Kokoni grinned widely and quickly left the scene with a stunned Baji and Big Brother Draken behind. Takemichi looked so confused as Smiley and Mikey shared a look and shook hands.

"Tie?"

Hope you enjoyed it!

If you want to read others. Click HERE

#baji x male reader #keisuke baji #tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers #male reader #x male reader #omegaverse #male omega reader

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indigo-constellation · 1 month ago

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Your changeling!Daniil is amazing. Your Clara Burakh is amazing. Your totally-normal-scientist (who totally didn't do anything like Jack the Ripper and Victor Frankenstein in the capital! only ethically sourced bodies here!) Artemiy is amazing.

Clara as Haruspex is breaking my heart especially! The way you wrote her being friends with the kids - how Artemiy was once with Stakh, Grief and Lara - and how she has a foreboding feeling she won't belong with them once it is all over, because her role is to protect them, not be one of them! Rat man still found a way to be mean my girl 😭 Also she and Grace are so sweet. Wanted to say that Grace's name (Ласка) in Russian has double meaning: 1) weasel (animal); 2) tenderness. Do with that as you will~

Also Daniil (both of them) is so good as a changeling. I loved that quiet moment he had with Clara on the stage, where they say how odd it is to play like that. Love the eyes of the "twins" being what sets them apart, too! Raven feels like he wants to be a bad guy, but can't quite bring himself. Regretful plague that is also a dead man who is alive but only because the sickness is. Snake being so gentle and kind and seemingly having some sort of planning he doesn't fully share even with the reader. Also Daniil speaking Hebrew! I gasped when I realised. It's also a fun contrast to him only speaking in Latin in the game, especially if we still to see him as Jewish. Makes me really want to see how you'd write bachelor!Daniil! Want to take a look inside his head! I know what I shall read next.

Artemiy having a worst imposter syndrome out of all of them because of coming back home where he was supposed to take on his father's role and finding the man who was a founder of a project that could be called Artemiy's life work is comedy gold. Also his little sister literally living the life he refused! 10/10 no notes. Artemiy and his unfun coming-home-to-steppe party! 🥳 Roots, Rain and Reflection is secretly a comedy.

Thank you for writing this amazing role reversal, don't think I will be able to get it out of my head.

tumblr is so annoying bc I had a whole response and then it got deleted roijepigjetiuheoigj let me try to write what I can remember and hopefully do it better

I literally screamed when I read this ask btw thank you so much

the healers in this fic are so incredibly dear to me and I love them so much, I love getting to focus on them, yes Artemy's organs and cadavers as ethically sourced and fresh as he can get them :D

Haruclara truly deserves so much, she doesn't fit into the Termites despite being a kid herself, half because of the way she was raised and half because of the nature of the story and the separation of Healers and Bound. While also having messy connections with the other two Healers. I really wish I could have more Grara but this is primarily p1 focused so the Bound's role is limited (the amount of Yulia/Rubin/Lara/Aspity I had to cut- istg I was so excited to have an Aspity and Artemy interaction on day 6 but it would've been too long) I will keep what you said in mind though! thank you ^^

Changeniil has been so write, he keeps so much of himself hidden, so getting to reveal those small bits of him like in that theatre bit are great. The hands and the eyes being the main things to distinguish the twins Dankovsky is fun because those are two things Pathologic focuses on a lot, though I will say that there might be more later on. The Raven is a miserable wet beast, the idea behind the twins has been that different bits of Daniil are split up, so and what's fun about that is that it's Plagueniil that has the idealism. He's a fucked up guy held together only by spite and disease but he cares so much it hurts him. The Snake is also a creature, truly, he knows his plan, Raven knows his plan (and doesn't like it at all), and I know how it will fail, the narrators being unreliable is such a fun part of patho. I always write Daniil as Jewish (because he is to me lol) but specifically Daniil I think fits with Hebrew because it is a revived language and as a guy who is trying to defeat death I think it would suit him (also revived language and revived Daniil was an intentional choice) I will say though, idk how well my old writing holds up bc my writing got a lot better while writing roleswap so go at your own risk lol

Finally, Bachtemy, a dearly beloved fool <3 he used to have a much bigger conflict with Daniil about Daniil not being who Artemy expected him to be and that being a lot more angsty but then I started writing that scene and it turned out gay so nice. There's a lot about Artemy I'm planning to go into in chapter 7 so look out for that. Artemy is also 100% the character I get to make the funniest, truly the comedian of the cast, I am putting him in the blender as I write this.

thank you again for this!! sorry with inflicting you with the thinking about it curse lol, it's happened to a few people as I've seen and idk how to fix that (I am also infected I cannot stop thinking abt this au) but this long ask really made me so happy to see and I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!

#indigo rambles #pathologic roleswap au #pathologic #daniil dankovsky #artemy burakh #clara pathologic

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vorrentis · 1 year ago

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Jihyo x Mina - Much Needed (1/2)

I GUESS TUMBLR HAS 1000 BLOCK LIMIT THAT I CAN'T GET PASS SO THIS IS 1/2, 2/2 WILL BE IN ANOTHER POST.

IF ANYONE KNOWS HOT TO FIX, PLEASE MESSAGE, THANKS

This is a quick and short smut shot so l'm sorry if it's not as story driven.

A deleted FxF fic I had before and now brought back, still working on Jeongyeon's fic btw.

ENJOY!

Tags: FF, shower, oral, scissoring, fingering, 69

Words: 19,733

=============================

Today was going to be a fun day for Twice, some more than others, but a fun day nevertheless.

Today Twice were shooting commercials for the new Nintendo Switch (yeah, yeah, I know it's been out for a while, but go with it).

They were each to split up into three different groups: The maknae line, a four-member group of Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Sana, and Momo, and a duo of Jihyo with Mina.

Each group had a different game to perform and setting to showcase how portable the switch can be and the games it had.

The maknae line had a set of a living room playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate, the four-member group were stationed in a car playing Animal Crossing, and the duo of Mina and Jihyo was exercising with the newly released Ring Fit Adventure with the new Ring Fit accessory.

And today, Mina and Jihyo were the first ones to start their commercial.

It wasn't really a commerical shooting like the other two, it was more of a record yourself passing a few levels and enjoying it.

There wasn't a crew involved for these two, but the other seven had a set for them and even had to travel a bit for their site.

For Jihyo and Mina, it was their studio at JYP and there were two Nintendo staff members that guided them on how to start the game and such.

After that, they left the two alone in the room for them to enjoy.

When finished, Jihyo and Mina would tell them and the workers would collect the cameras and film in them.

That's it.

Easy enough the girls thought.

And they were enjoying it.

It was quite a workout and the two were surprised that it generated quite a sweat for a game.

It was also fun too and the two thought about getting this for them back home with the other girls to enjoy as well.

"And, there you go." Jihyo smiled as Mina clapped at her side.

"Good job Jihyo." Jihyo turned and beamed at Mina. "You think that's good for the film," she pointed at the camera at the corner as Mina nodded.

"Oh yeah, that was twenty minutes of footage, more than enough, unless they plan on having us play for a while."

"Hehe, that I wouldn't mind, this is a nice workout...alright, it's you turn." Jihyo directed as Mina stood up and was handed the Ring as Jihyo went to sit behind Mina as Mina started her level.

"Good luck Mina.!"

"Yup." Mina said as she started to jog in place.

THREE MINUTES LATER

Mina was on a roll as she was doing the activities the game was offering.

She was enjoying it very much as she posed and did everything the figure in the game did as well.

Jihyo was enjoying Mina's happiness and smiles as well as she sat behind Mina, watching her.

(AN: Imagine this, but Jihyo is a bit further behind Mina)

However...

Jihyo wasn't paying attention to the game as much as her eyes wandered somewhere else.

It's too bad for Jihyo that Mina decided to wear some very nice tights today like herself and while Jihyo wore a skirt, Mina forgoes that and decided to wear a shirt that barely reached a bit over her waist and it really showed off Mina's well fit body...okay, Jihyo meant Mina's butt.

Out of all the girls, Mina was the top when it came to taking care of her body and Jihyo observed that it was worth it as she saw how defined Mina's ass was.

And it certainly didn't help that the game made Mina jump, jog, twist, and turn and it made Mina's butt pop out even more than Jihyo found that way more interesting than the game itself...and no, this wasn't the first time she did some sightseeing on Mina.

Yup, Jihyo, the leader of Twice, was into girls.

A lesbian.

She didn't know exactly when, but she can say around her middle school years that she found girls to be more attractive and easier to be around than guys.

And it was the day she asked another girl to the last year of middle school's dance event and got her day ruined when she responded...

'that's weird and you're weird'

...and walked away.

Poor Jihyo felt her heart split in two upon hearing those words and ran home with tears.

After seeing her depressed state coming home, her mom asked what's wrong and with no thought about how different it was to like girls more, Jihyo told her what happened and that's when her parents had a talk about her sexuality.

It was quite a discussion that Jihyo can recall each and every meaningful word.

They even supported her after hearing those words and Jihyo thought she was weird too, but her parents told her to never call herself that.

It was who she was.

And since that day, Jihy didn't let that go to her head and kept her head up high, but she did keep her sexuality hidden from her friends of course.

She didn't know how they would take it, even though her mom told her that it was okay to tell them, just be careful about how they reacted, so Jihyo didn't tell them.

And as time went on, neither her trainers nor new friends with Nayeon and Jeongyeon and it was easy to hide...ahem 'was'.

As the training went by, Jihyo tried to keep herself in check but being surrounded by cute and beautiful girls, it was difficult since Jihyo couldn't quite keep her eyes to herself.

But she did her best to focus on her training until a certain J-line member came through those practice doors.

--------------------------------------------

FLASHBACK - 2014

9 months before Sixteen started

"And...finish."

Both trainee Jihyo and trainee Yoo Jeongyeon posed for the mirror as the music died down until their breaths were the only sounds in the room as they dropped their arms to their sides and returned to regular stance.

They were actually training until they started to fool around with the last song to blow some steam off.

"That was great," Jeongyeon stated as she rose her hand and Jihyo did the same to give a high five to another.

"Even our actual practice, I think it's our best ones yet."

Jihyo shook her head.

"No, I messed up on the second song, I turned the wrong way during the second verse." Jeongyeon shook her head.

"Oh come on Jihyo, we've been dancing for an hour and you point out one misstep. No one is going to be complaining about that. You were perfect."

"Perfect is a hundred percent that was ninety-nine percent." Jeongyeon rolled her eyes.

"You got to stop being so critical about yourself Jihyo," Jeongyeon walked towards the corner of the room, "you're already the best here. Now sit down."

Jihyo took it and sat on the floor of the dance room. She felt the sweat pouring down her nose and her feet were a bit burned by the amount of time.

Perfecting a dance for what seemed like hours would do that.

"Here." She managed to look upwards to spot her fellow trainee Jeongyeon with two water bottles and two clothes out with both hands as Jihyo reached up sluggishly.

"Gamsa..." Jihyo accepted one of each and opened the cap of water as Jeongyeon sat down with her and mirrored with the water.

After taking a gulp of refreshing water, Jihyo lowered the bottle and took a breath in and out.

"Thank you for practicing with me Jeong, you didn't have to."

Jeongyeon shook her head while applying the cold cloth to her forehead.

"I wanted to, I have to train too you know. We're not all the best." She joked as Jihyo chuckled and Jeongyeon smiled. "Well, while we're resting, you heard the news around Jeongyeon said as Jihyo shook her head. "A new trainee is joining JYPE today."

Jihyo got curious.

"Really?"

Jeongyeon nodded.

"And she's from Japan as well. Like Sana and Momo. Jeongyeon explained as Jihyo nodded.

"This place is getting more and more new girls. Well, when or if she gets here, we'll greet her with warm welcomes." Jihyo said as Jeongyeon nodded.

However...

'Oh god, this place is getting more and more new girls. She's gonna be another pretty one like Sana and Momo...! can't even keep my eyes off them...'

Jihyo kept her smile, but she was gyrating herself in her mind that many cute and pretty girls were in this agency already, and since keeping her sexuality a secret...it was damn difficult.

"Yeah. Its rumors but I heard that she was an amazing ballet dancer. Been at it for ten years."

Jihyo nodded, taking in that information.

"Ten years huh, anything else?" She asked as Jeongyeon shook her head.

"Nothing besides that. Think we should give her a warning about Sana?" Jeongyeon grinned as Jihyo chuckled.

"Hehe, I'm sure she'll be fine. Sana will keep her hands to herself."

'Not that I'm complaining when she does it to me'

"You're talking about the impossible."

Jeongyeon furthered as they both gave a small laugh. "So, anything new with you?" She asked Jihyo.

"Nothing, the only new thing is my dad had-"

SQUEAK

Jihyo stopped as the door opened and a head popped out of the opening.

"And this is-oh, ohiyo Jihyo, Jeongyeon!" Sana's smile lit up the room as she gave a head bow towards both Jeongyeon and Jihyo waved at her.

"Ohiyo Sana," "Ohiyo," both girls replied.

"Uhm, I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" Sana asked while not entering the room yet as Jihyo shook her head.

"No, what's up?" She asked Sana as Sana looked behind her and then to Jihyo and Jeongyeon.

'I'm showing a new girl around."

Both Jihyo and Jeongyeon heard and turned themselves to Sana.

"The new girl's there?" Jeongyeon asked as Sana nodded. "Do you mind if we say hi?"

"Of course," Sana turned her head, "There's a couple of my friends here that I want to introduce, is that okay?" Sana spoke in Japanese as both Jihyo and Jeongyeon couldn't understand what she said. "Great."

Sana opened the door more and as she walks inside, Jihyo noticed the newcomer trailing behind her...and her breath hitched.

I'm using present Mina, feel free to use any photo

Jihyo's eyes fall on a startlingly beautiful woman, and she can't seem to tear her eyes away from her. Her chestnut-colored hair flowed down like a waterfall falling just past her shoulders and the perfect amount of makeup that emphasized her visuals.

She's dressed casually, in a pair of skinny blue jeans and a dark short sleeve top that hugs her slight curves in all of the right ways.

Her eyes are surveying the room and for a moment Jihyo got lost in their beauty.

Astonishingly dark eyes; kind but looking a little timid as she looks around.

"Jihyo? Jihyo?" Jihyo jerked, turning back to the sound of Jeongyeon's voice who was standing. All three, including this goddess that walked in, were staring down at her and Jihyo felt her face flush, and her heart starts to pound.

"H-Huh?" Jihyo muttered, clearing her suddenly dry throat. "O-oh ahem, s-sorry..."

Jihyo quickly rose to her feet.

Jeongyeon quirks an eyebrow and shakes her head.

"Jihyo, Jeongyeon, this is Myoui Mina." She turned to the new girl and Mina nodded back as her eyes went to Jihyo's and Jihyo was hypnotized as she saw Mina's faint smile.

'Myoui Mina...'Her name echoed in Jihyo's mind and she found it flowing ever so soothing and beautiful like her and her heart raced with heat that it felt like fire.

"Ohiyo Mina." Jeongyeon welcomed her, knowing just a tiny bit of Japanese with both Japanese girls of Sana and another: Hirai Momo.

"Ohiyo..." Mina's voice was soft and gentle and Jihyo's first impressions of the girl kept rising.

"Hehe~" Sana turned to Jihyo, "she's starting today here with us," she continued, 'I'm showing her around until Momo arrives so she can hang with us to feel more relax." Sana then turned to Mina, "Mina, these are two of my friends: Jeongyeon," Sana talked in Japanese as she pointed at Jeongyeon who bowed to her and Mina returned the action,

"and this is Jihyo." Sana pointed at Jihyo as Mina turned to her and Jihyo gulped as Mina sent shivers down her spine.

Jihyo raised her arm and weakly waved.

"O-ohiyo...

"Ohiyo..."

Both girls stared at one another as Sana and Jeongyeon alternated looks between the two.

"Anyway..." Sana voiced as Mina looked down and Jihyo turned to Sana, "Imma continue showing Mina around. She turned to Mina, "shall we go?" In Japanese to Mina as she looked at Sana and nodded. "Great!

Then I shall leave you two to your training."

Jeongyeon nodded as Jihyo side-eyed Mina as she was looking around the room, "come on Mina, baibai you two~"

Sana walked back towards the door as Mina took a look at Jeongyeon and bowed and turned to Jihyo and bowed as well, but Jihyo swore she took a second longer staring...at least that's what she thought as Mina turned and followed Sana out the room and Jihyo felt the gravity lessened in the room as she took a silent, yet deep breath.

"You alright? You looked kind of lost there." Jeongyeon asked as Jihyo turned to her and nodded quickly, maybe too quickly.

"'Yeah, maybe I'm a bit tired after all..."

"You tired? Never thought I heard those words from you." Jeongyeon grinned as Jihyo gave a faint smile at her remark, "well, at least we got to meet her. I think she'll fit in fine soon enough, she looks like a singer as well. Wonder how long she'll be here as a trainee?"

"Who knows." 'Hopefully for a long while.'

"Hmm, well with those three together, maybe a Japanese trio is being planned. Although we are in Korea...ah well, we'll see what happens.

So what now?"

"Uhm...c-can we just sit for a minute?" Jihyo needed to calm down and Jeongyeon stifled a chuckle.

"Hehe, sure we can."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SHUT

"Well what you thought?" Sana asked as they turned from the door they left down the hall on the right.

"They seem nice." Mina said as Sana nodded.

"They really are. Everyone here is pretty great."

Sana noted as Mina nodded.

"So.. they're trainees like me?" Mina asked as

Sana took the moment to stop.

"Mph-hm, they both are very wonderful singers and dancers, but Jihyo is the best around."

"That girl?" Mina asked as Sana nodded.

"Jihyois the complete idol package: her singing is pure talent and amazing and she can pick up on choreography pretty quick, she has a very positive personality and is super friendly with everyone. It's sad really that she's been here for so long. Ten years now."

Mina's eyes widened and looked back as if Jihyo was there.

"Ten years?" She repeated, "..why isn't she an idol already?" Mina asked as Sana sighed and shrugged.

"Sometimes things don't go your way but Jihyo is patient enough to wait for her shot.

But that's why Jihyo is an inspiration to me I know it sounds weird and sudden that you just met, but trust me, she works harder than anyone here. No matter where she's either practicing her singing or dancing in that room." Sana pointed to her, "and I have not once heard her complain when we train together, only compliments and encouragement and assistance to me when I thought it was tough."

Mina saw the smile on her face enlarged.

"Even when we first met, I hardly understood the language, but Jihyo learned some phrases for me like good mornings and training and eating. I was very appreciative of her for that and wanted to be friends with her right then and there. She's really amazing to know and I know that you'll become good friends with her too...if that's what you want that is." Sana smiled as Mina looked back for the third time.

'Wow...'

Mina looked back at Sana and nodded.

"Great, then I'll ask if we can get lunch with her and Jeongyeon with another friend. Be right back~"

Sana walked back to the door as Mina took a breath.

'Jihyo. She does sound amazing. She was really pretty too.' Mina gave a small smile and a tint of red from embarrassment.

She shook her head just a bit to relax. 'Dang, day one and I'm already thinking of '

"Alright~ " Mina swiftly turned to Sana walking towards her, "it's settled, we're having a group lunch with them. Hopefully, more of our friends arrive as well."

Mina nodded slowly and dropped her current thoughts.

She didn't expect her first day to be going so well, she was terrified at first, but being with a fellow Japanese friend in Sana and having more friends soon who all seem to be nice made Mina feel at ease greatly.

Course there was the training to be done with but Mina was willing to put everything she had into this.

"Arigato Sana for helping me today. I appreciate it." Mina bowed slightly as Sana hummed

"Hmm~ Of course Mina, every person here goes through their days scared." Mina got into a regular stance, "I was a wreck on my first day, but as I said, meeting Jihyo and her friends made it all easy and we'll help you with anything no matter what."

Mina smiled as Sana walked forward as Mina followed her.

"I meant what I said about Jihyo, you can learn a lot from her. I do hope she gets her chance soon. Nine years isn't easy to wait out, but Jihyo is strong. She'd be one of the best idols out there easily right now. As a solo or in a group too. If she does join a group, she'd be one amazing leader too. I'd choose her to be one if we were together."

Mina found Sana's admiration for Jihyo to be impressive.

'I should get to know Jihyo a bit more.'

Mina smiled at the thought.

--------------------------------------------------------

ONE WEEK LATER

Jihyo breathed in and out.

Today was the first training session of Mina since she arrived and she and Momo were to start with her.

What was shocking was that Mina actually asked Jihyo personally if she could be there with Momo...well, Sana did.

Sana had training but Nayeon and Jeongyeon and in the afternoon so she wasn't able to attend, but Momo volunteered to go with her.

Jihyo accepted quickly, maybe too quickly, but the smile on Mina's face evavorated any doubts and Jihyo was excited but nervous.

Sana explained afterward that Mina asked her to ask Jihyo.

Of course, she was the first to arrive, early than usual...like always, but today, Jihyo was excited yet nervous.

This was the first time she and Mina were going to practice together after a week since she arrived.

They've been chatting mostly for lunches, but Mina hasn't actually done anything but getting a foothold of the place and spending most of the time being around Mom and Sana due to the language and them being the same nationality, but Jihyo understood completely and was happy that she was fitting in just fine.

She was suprised that she spoke Korean much better than Sana and Momo when they first came, but she wasn't as fluent which is understandable, but she was more impressive than Jihyo thought she would be so it was normal to communicate with her.

But Jihyo smiled and took every moment to find out more about Mina, even though she felt anxious around her still.

Jihyo felt strange.

The same kind of strange that she had for a few girls over the years.

But this was different.

It was a whole new kind of strange.

Why?

She barely knew the girl at all, yet she was so cativated by her looks, the simpliest motions, the way she speaks, her smile, ugh, her smile, that god Jihyo going for miles.

It was an entirely new feeling that Jihyo couldn't get over like she did with her prior crushes, Sana being the most recent one, but she got over it as she found Sana to be more of a sister than a girlfriend.

But Mina, man Mina was on her mind 23/7 ...what? Even Jihyo had to think about other things too.

SQUEAK

The door opened as Jihyo smiled.....but started to freak out the moment her eyes laid on Mina entering.

She was wearing white shoes, grey sweats with a black graphic tee and Jihyo couldn't help but be stunned.

Just a simple workout outfit and Jihyo found her beauty tenfold.

"Uh, ohiyo Jihyo." Mina waved as Jihyo had to get her thoughts back and waved back as normal.

"O-ohiyo Mina." Mina approached Jihyo as she gulped and stood ready. "You ready?"

Mina nodded.

"Where's Momo?" She asked as Jihyo shook her head.

"She's always late, don't worry." Jihyo answered as Mina nodded. "Nervous?"

Mina nodded once more as Jihyo knew how she was feeling as well.

"I've been there too. Don't worry about anything, you'll be fine. here you can make every mistake and I'lI be there to help you." Jihyo wanted Mina to get as comfortable as Mina gathered a new surge through her upon hearing Jihyo.

"Hai...arigato." Mina smiled and Jihyo relished that, but she turned away without staring too long.

"Ah, so should we wait for Momo or."

"Jihyo?" Jihyo looked back at her. "Can...can we talk about something?"

That was unexpected.

"Uh, sure, you okay?" She asked as Mina nodded.

"Hai, it's just, well, I wanted to thank you for being here." Mina held her right forearm with her left hand in an embarrassed manner that Jihyo found undeniably cute

"Oh, heh, it's no problem at all Mina. We're all here to help each other." Mina nodded and Jihyo had a question for her, "but may I ask why did ask me to be here as well?"

Mina looked down at Jihyo's shoes.

"Well... Sana and Momo explained that you're the best. So I thought...if I should learn, it'd be better with you...gomen...I know I'm a rookie, but I just wanted to thank you for your time to train me." Mina did a small bow as Jihyo was speechless and after a few seconds, she smiled awkwardly at the thought that Mina wanted to learn from her and even let out a chuckle.

"Hehe...uh, well, god l'm flattered Mina, but please don't say I'm the best." Mina got back into regular stance, "I appreciate Sana and Mom's words, but I don't want anyone to think that I'm the best, I still have lots to learn. And don't think that just because you're a rookie doesn't mean I'll say no to you wanting help. We're all here as trainees and we should all each other no matter what. Even out of JYPE." Jihyo stated and she didn't feel any worry about saying it because it was true.

She would be there for any of the trainees as they were all going for one goal: debuting.

And there was no competition with any of them, so Jihyo saw no point in not helping out the others.

Mina heard this and instantly her body felt elevated and a new view of Jihyo was seen through her as she admired her words.

'Sana was right, she really is a leader...kind hearted too.'

With that Mina...

"Then...do you mind if, uh, we train more together after?" Mina asked and Jihyo's heart raced at Mina asking her to train more. To hear that Mina wanted to train with her more had Jihyo jumping on the inside.

"Mina, I would be happy to train with you."

Mina smiled instantly.

"Really?" Jihyo nodded.

"Of course Mina, anytime you want."

Jihyo saw Mina's eyes lit up and her smile instantly appeared.

'Oh god, how can someone be so damn beautiful and undeniably cute at the same time...thank you Sana and Momo.'

"Hai, arigato Jihyo."

"No problem Mina...so should we wait for Momo, or start?" Jihyo asked.

"Start."

Jihyo nodded as she headed to the music station as Mina watched her back, smiling at how amazing and friendly everyone was here...a certain someone more than others.

==========================================

TIMESKIP

ONE YEAR LATER

Oct 19, 2015

It was a grand momentous day for the nine women who have formed some months ago.

TWICE's debut song was released on YouTube and it was racking in numbers.

They watched it multiple times and it still got them as their feelings skyrocketed from their first song.

Every girl cried with happiness.

All their hard work, sweat, and patience finally paid off, and while every girl was happy with themselves as they were now full-fledged idols.

So much so that a celebration was spent in their dorm with their song being repeated all night with dancing, food, and drinks (alcohol-free) and goofing off until one by one, each girl dropped as sleep and fatigue took them as they headed to their rooms...except for one.

It was past midnight and the leader of Twice, Jihyo was basking in the barely lit room, watching the MV still on the TV.

An idol...Jihyo finally achieved her dream.

Ten years.

A decade it took her, but she got it.

She was now an idol, now part of a group and even the leader as well.

She pass through Sixteen and now she was here.

But she wasn't done, not by a longshot.

Her new members are looking up to her and Jihyo promised to be not just the best damn idol, but the best damn group and also the best damn leader in the world-

"Still up?" Jihyo flinched as she leaned forward and stared to her right and her heart swelled over Mina standing there in pajama pants and a pink no sleeve top. "Gomen, I didn't mean to scare you." She walked to her as Jihyo leaned back on the couch.

"Oh, it's fine. No, I can't sleep. Still too excited."

Mina settled down on the couch as Jihyo told herself to relax. Mina looked at the screen of Dahyun and Chaeyoung's rap portion but looked to Jihyo.

"So am I. I still can't believe it, I mean we've filmed for weeks for it, but to see it right there on Youtube for everyone to watch. Our first song." Mina smiled as Jihyo's heart raced. "I never thought I would debut so soon either.

Or the fact that people wanted me to be on Twice." Mina stared at her lap. "I know it's been months since we've formed, but it still feels incredible that I have fans you know." Mina turned to Jihyo as Jihyo shook her head.

"I don't think it's surprising, people loved watching you, Mina. Every performance you were in was always great and, well, you're pretty amazing to watch and listen to as well."

Jihyo blushed but the faint light made it impossible to see as Mina showed her angelic smile, but if you look closely, she was in the same state as Jihyo.

"A-arigato Jihyo. You're pretty incredible to watch and listen to as well." Jihyo felt warm in her stomach. "But I can't take all that credit...Jihyo, I want to thank you. It's because of vou l'm here."

"Mina-"

"Please, I've been meaning to thank you for a while, but now it's best now that we're alone.

When I first arrived, I've only listened to songs and karaoke and that's it, so when I first arrived through those main doors, I started to think, what if I didn't have what it takes to be anything in this line of entertainment." Jihyo was about to intervene, "I was so stressed and nervous, yet, I didn't want to turn and leave thinking what could have been. I came here to try my best and whatever happens, happens."

Jihyo thought those thoughts too.

"But then I met the most wonderful friends that I could have to ask for in you eight along my journey here, from trainee to Sixteen and now our filming and MV release, it's been amazing to experience with you eight."

Jihyo smiled warmly, but Mina looked down at her lap as she brought a hand up to her hair and pushed it behind her ear.

"But...it's because of you that I kept on going Jihyo."

Mina nodded and looked right at Jihyo and it caused her to have small heart attacks.

"After I first met you in the studio, Sana told me about you, about how you were here for almost ten years. I couldn't believe that you went that long, but Sana explained that you never gave up, you kept on going no matter how long it took for you to debut and kept training and working hard on everything you possibly could do."

Jihyo nodded just slightly.

"And I'll admit, after Sana told me about you, I didn't think she was telling the truth, but you told me yourself that lunch, and I was amazed, yet scared. Scared about how long it would have taken me to train, scared that you and Jeongyeon and Nayeon and Sana had so much experience, surely you girls wouldn't want to waste time with me, a first-day trainee, but I was wrong."

Mina reached out and placed her hand over Jihyo's as Jihyo's heart was on fire.

"But after our first training session together, you all have been there for me, but you Jihyo, you've been there day one and held nothing back to aid me in anything and everything whether it was in the agency or out of it. Not only that, you gave me the courage and strength to keep on going each day. And we trained each and every day, I felt that I wasn't going anywhere or wouldn't be able to do this, but you were there to make me feel otherwise. Sure there was the others, but it wasn't as close as you and I were Jihyo."

"..."

"And eventually when we were picked to be part of Sixteen, I was stressed that we would fend for each other, but no...you kept helping me whenever you could and not just in our group performances, but even in our rooms, you were there to talk and comfort me when everything felt so down."

Mina took a deep breath.

"There were days where I wanted to give up...but you wouldn't let me, not by forcing me to stay, but by being you and being my friend. And because of you Jihyo, I'm here. I'm here as an idol, here in a group with our first single, with amazing friends, and with an incredible leader whom I'm glad to be with."

Jihyo felt her emotions going high.

"And it's all because of you Jihyo. I am who I am now because of you...arigato Jihyo."

"Thank you for everything you've done for me in the past nine months. I promise that I'll be the best I can be and more to return what you've done for the rest of our time."

Mina ended with a small gratifying smile to her leader and it made Jihyo feel every happy emotion in her system.

So much so that Jihyo couldn't take it and brought Mina into a hug as Mina hugged her back.

"Mina...thank you. I promise to be the best leader I can be too and to be there for you for anything you need still okay? No matter what...I'm glad you're with me, Mina." Jihyo whispered as Mina hummed.

"And I promise the same to you. And I'm glad you're here with me too."

Okay, that feeling that Jihyo had before... yeah, it evolved.

===============================

TIMESKIP (STILL IN FLASHBACK)

One year later

Since that night, Jihyo and Mina became close, very close.

Not as close as Jihyo would have wanted, but she'll take it regardless.

Whenever it was something to do outside or inside, both would seek the other out to be paired up.

Both would hang in their rooms, doing anything the other wanted.

And Jihyo was with Mina every step of the way of their songs, concerts, photoshoots, and Mina was very appreciative of her.

No complaints.

No worries.

No stress.

That is until today...

'You can do it Jihyo, two words...two words...'

Jihyo sat there alone in her room, a million thoughts going through her mind at once; she honestly don't know what to think anymore.

She's tired of living a lie, but yet, the lie has made her life what it is today, but yet, wouldn't she be happier?

Wouldn't she be happy that she could finally be comfortable with herself and can finally stop worrying?

...Well, it's never that perfect, nothing ever goes down well with subjects like this.

'Everyone will be mad at me because l've been lying to them this entire time."

The nine of them have been through so much together and Jihyo didn't want to tarnish anything moving forward.

What would they think of her after telling them that she liked girls?

She sighed softly, what was she really afraid of?

Maybe it's just the different lifestyle, it's not easy being gay, society spits on you, they take away your rights, probably become an ex-idol for fans that are that much uncomfortable.

It's just not the life for her, but it's not like Jihyo had a choice.

She didn't choose to play for the other team, she was born with these damn feelings towards other women, and sometimes she hated it!

She hated that she can't be herself.

She hated lying to her friends.

And Jihyo was only human.

She's ever-changing and slowly, she's growing.

She could build an image and try to maintain it for as long as she could but she wouldn't be able to keep it up forever.

And every moment she spent with Mina, she realized that the facade would end sooner.

Mina was different, and Jihyo meant that in every sense of the word.

She was unlike any person she's met before.

She was unlike any girl she's met before.

She was always moving.

She's never met anyone quite as quiet as Mina who walks instead of runs and a choice of few words instead of talks, but Jihyo found that pleasant.

Her first impression of Mina was still the base of her impression now: beautiful, talented, dedicated, diligent but Mina was determined to prove that she could do better.

What Jihyo lacked intact, she made up for in perseverance.

Oh, how she had loads of it.

When Jihyo was not being swept up by her training, Mina was hauling her along sometimes literally, but it impressed Jihyo for Mina to train this hard as her.

No one else made her smile quite as much as Mina did.

And no one else put in as much effort too.

Only Mina.

And Mina did that only for Jihyo.

She was unique that way.

Mina was different.

Falling for Mina was different.

It was not only different but also inevitable.

She hated that she has these kept feelings for Mina hidden for SO LONG and she can't do anything about it.

It's horrible and Jihyo felt horrible.

But she can't come out.

She just can't do it,

Jihyo was terrified.

She didn't want to be hated by everyone, especially her sisters because she's been lying to them, besides her parents, she's never told anyone she's gay, never.

There have been so many times Jihyo thought and even tried coming out, but she failed every time.

The three reasons above were what made her want to confess but then she gets scared and yeah, it doesn't turn out well.

But Jihyo couldn't take it, she wanted to tell her sisters, she wanted to tell Mina that she was into girls; into her.

Even if Mina didn't swing that way, Jihyo couldn't hide these feelings any longer.

And today, today was the day...or so she thought.

She tried to muster to tell at least Naveon or Jeongyeon first, but fear got to her and it was too much to bear.

Today she wasn't all there and so quiet that even her members asked what was wrong and all she could do is lie and say 'everything is fine, just tired'

Just tired.

What a sad lie.

In fact, she just left dinner after not being able to eat even a spoonful of rice.

She excused herself and came into her room.

Jihyo groaned at how sad that must of looked and closed her eyes.

"All because I can't tell them who I am...all because I can't tell Mina how I feel...how pathetic..."

KNOCK KNOCK

Jihyo heard a soft knock at her door, "yeah?" she said mildly as the door slightly opens the love of her life slowly slips in.

"Hey Jihyo," she says softly, walking over to Jihyo's bed and sits down next to her, "you okay? You left dinner early and you've been in here all day, we're worried about you."

Whenever Mina knows there's something wrong, she won't stop until she finds out what it is and has done all she can do to help as Jihyo has done for her, one of the infinite reasons why Jihyo loves her.

"I'm fine Mina; I just have a lot on my mind that's all," Jihyo says softly.

"Well, what's on your mind?" Mina asks, "Is there anything I can help you with, you know I'm always here to listen." Jihyo smiles a little, Mina always wants to help everyone and she absolutely hates it when she can't; she also hates it when anyone won't let her help them.

Even just meeting a few weeks after she got into JYPE Mina has been around Jihyo with Sana or Momo to help translate as they hanged or trained, honestly more training as guided her.

And through Sixteen, whenever they were together or in the Minor or Major rooms, Mina helped Jihyo through it, she didn't stop until she made me smile, and not once did that smile not made Jihyo's heart beat, and never failed to put a smile on her face.

And a reason why Jihyo kept her secret, she didn't know what Mina will think.

"Jihyo?" Mina says slightly worried, her voice pulls Jihyo out of her thought.

"...nothing you need to worry about," Jihyo says, "just some things about family, nothing bad, that's all."

She lied.

She lied again.

"Hmm, so what's the real problem?" Mina asks not buying her answer.

Jihyo gulps, she planned on doing this, she could just tell her now, tell her everything,

She could come clean, and it would be off her chest.

All she has to do is tell her, just two words.

Jihyo turns to her and she looks into her eyes,

Even with an apprehensive feel, they're so beautiful, so dark, so full of care and so filled with love.

"...Mina...I-" Jihyo can't even start her sentence, her voice fails her, her heart's beating faster in her chest.

She waits patiently, her eyes growing full of concern.

Jihyo can't do it.

She can't tell her, but she has to, she has to do it!

She couldn't keep living this lie!

She didn't want to keep living this lie!

She couldn't handle it anymore!

Mina grew more worried as Jihyo's breathing increase.

"Jihyo, what's wrong?" she asks leaning forward and placed a hand on Jihyo's right arm and her body shuddered.

With a breath, Jihyo let her eyes give away everything she was feeling and she started to tear up, causing Mina to part her lips.

"I-I'm scared..."

Mina has only ever seen Jihyo cry three times: winning Twice, after their first concert, and their first award.

But to hear her idol being scared to tears pained and haunted her.

"H-hey, it's okay Jihyo, I'm here, I'm here for you."

Jihyo sniffed and gulped and took a couple of failed attempts of breathings.

"There you go, easy okay, I want to help you Jihyo, tell me what's wrong?"

"I-It would ruin everything if I did..." Jihyo spoke.

Now Mina was scared herself.

"You have no idea how much it could ruin things. I've been lying about it for too long now to just come out and tell the truth! It would ruin my friendships with you eight, especially you Mina!" Jihyo look down at her hands scratching into her thighs as Mina was trying to lower the tension as best as she could.

"Jihyo, no matter what, nothing will ruin anything with us nine. We're family." She notes softly. "No matter what it is, it won't change anything. I will still be at your side and you will still be one of my best friends, I care about you more than anything. I'll always be here, no matter what, I promise."

She whispered.

It was a line that was used a lot by people who often didn't really mean it.

But Jihyo knew that Mina meant it.

She truly felt safe with her.

But how was she supposed to even bring such a subiect up? It seemed impossible to her.

There's only one way the conversation could go unless she felt the same as her.

She honestly doubted she would.

She summoned up as much courage as she could, taking a breath and steeling herself.

"...I like girls. And I mean it sexually..."

Mina's lips parted as Jihyo didn't dare look at her.

There were a few moments of silence as Mina processed Jihyo's statement.

Jihyo figured as much, her taking in this information. At least she didn't get yelled at, but then again, Mina never raises her voice.

Jihyo let out a shaky sigh as a few more tears fell down her face.

"...r-really?" Jihyo nodded. "Y-you?"

Jihyo merely nodded.

"I-I can't believe it..."

"I'm so sorry for keeping it from you girls, I understand if you're upset."

Jihyo's eyes lowered, not ready to take the heat from Mina.

"Jihyo..."

The leader of Twice closed her eyes, shame enveloped her being, but she had to be ready to hear all the negative comments and insults from her love.

It'll break her heart, but Jihyo wanted to-

PLACE

Jihyo stopped thinking as she felt her right hand being covered on her thigh.

"Y-you have no idea how happy I am."

Jihyo slowly turned upon hearing those words.

Did...did she hear that right?

"W-what...?"

Jihyo expression changed to a wild one as Mina...

"Heh, I'm also into girls."

"..."

Jihyo gulped, taking that information down her system like her saliva.

"...Y-you're joking..."

Mina shook her head.

"I'm not joking, I'm gay as well. Since middle school." Mina pressed a hand to her chest.

Now this time it was Jihyo's turn to turn forward at the shower of thoughts.

Not only did she came out, but to hear that Mina, her crush, was also into girls!

Then...then it could be possible!

Maybe!

Just maybe!

"I-I can't believe that I'm not the only one, and it's you as well." Jihyo turned to Mina smiling ever so beautifully at her as Jihyo's heart was doing somersaults.

"I-I can't either," Jihyo muttered. "Mina don't joke with me."

"Jihyo, I promise you, l'm not. A-are you joking-"

"No...oh wow..."

Both gave an awkward smile to another.

'Should I tell her? I have to tell her right?! I mean...I have to!'

Mina turned forward and closed her eyes, releasing a sigh of relief as Jihyo pondered.

"Wow, I guess you know it feels so good to get that off our chest huh? I was so nervous to let you and the others know about my orientation since being a trainee."

She wanted Mina to tell Mina her feelings so bad.

She didn't want to live in a "what if" question anymore.

If Mina accepted, fantastic.

If she didn't, oh well.

"I have to! I got this far and to hear her say she's like me has to be a sign!'

Jihyo wasn't going to hold back this time.

"This is crazy, so crazy but so relieving and-"

"Mina." Mina turned to her and again, she saw Jihyo look so nervous once more, "..there's more."

Mina was visibly confused.

'What more can there be...unless...Jihyo likes someone...someone else...'

"There's more, the reason why I wanted to come out...not because I wanted to finally let you all know but I-I wanted to let you know the most because I was tired of hiding who I am, but more importantly, I was tired of hiding my feelings...for you."

Being shock was an understatement for Mina as she leaned back from Jihyo.

"I care so much about you Mina. So, so much that I-I have massive feelings for you..." Jihyo already said it so there was no hesitation to repeat it. "and I can't hide it anymore Mina," Jihyo got out. "You are so amazing and words can't describe how much you mean to me. Everything from our trainee days to our debut to now...you mean the world to me Mina...you're everything I could want in a girl: caring, talented, beautiful..."

"..."

"...and that's why I was afraid because I didn't want to ruin what we have.... understand if you don't share the feelings, but I couldn't hold it in any longer...I-I just wanted to tell you how I feel about you.

This was it.

Jihyo could feel herself trying to step over the edge, her entire soul prying on this moment.

The time came to a standstill as Jihyo drew what seemed like a never-ending breath.

She watched Mina's eyes widen...out of shock?

Out of disgust?

Out of excitement?

It was impossible to tell until Jihyo felt her cheeks being grabbed and forced to turn to Mina.

But it was a flash as her eyes widened, her body stiffen as Mina lunged forward and smashed her lips onto hers.

Mina was kissing Jihyo.

The J-line member kept pressing forward for a few seconds before releasing her lips from Jihyo's, her hands on her cheeks still as Jihyo was only able to stare at her smile.

"I-I feel the same to you Jihyo."

Jihyo felt a dam breaking in her heart.

Raging rivers of warmth, joy, excitement, arousal, and multiple other euphoric emotions flooded every inch of her body.

She felt her mouth turn upward into what she could only imagine was the dopiest, love-sick grin as Mina cracked a similar, but much more beautiful, smile.

"You mean a lot to me too Jihyo...you mean so much to me as well hehe...." she murmured over her shoulder added with a light chuckle.

Jihyo was so, so happy.

Mina reciprocated her feelings just as strongly as Jihyo felt them, and she could tell Mina was relieved too by the way her arms shook slightly around her.

Jihyo finally snapped herself out of her trance and returned the embrace, gently at first before daring to squeeze her tighter. It felt good, probably the best feeling Jihyo had ever experienced so far, even more than being on Twice...okay maybe just as much.

But that tight embrace was soon topped by an even better sensation when Mina pressed her lips against hers.

Jihyo closed her eyes, holding onto her partner's shoulders as she returned the kiss, thankful that her brain had registered it properly and she hadn't jerked away in surprise.

She loved Mina so much, and she wanted to convey it through the contact.

The kiss was sweet and yet so telling, quenching a thirst they had both lived too many months dehydrating from.

Mina's insides stood tall and excited, swiveling in delight as she felt Jihyo kiss back, still amazed she had brought herself to initiate the contact.

Her heart was still throbbing, but being pressed up against Jihyo like this so warmly for support, her pulse felt more elated than anything.

At last, they broke apart, panting slightly as Mina rested her forehead against hers.

"Wow.." Jihyo breathed. "Wow, hehe! D-Does this mean-"

"It certainly does," Mina smiled. "And it means we have tons to talk about, but it means that I want you too Jihyo, so much."

Jihyo's lips quivered as there was a moment of silence as they both let everything sink in. Three minutes ago they were just Twice members, but now they were-

"Girlfriends?" Jihyo babbled. "We're girlfriends now aren't we?"

"Maybe after a date or two, but that's right." Mina was too happy to keep distance between them, so she stepped in and hugged Jihyo again in a silent attempt to display her joy.

Jihyo eagerly returned the contact, willing to hold her like this for the rest of eternity if need be.

Moments passed as they reflected on the events that had just transpired, still a little shocked, but more than anything content and excited and oh so warm.

"Wow..." Jihyo breathed again. "w-we're...oh wow."

"You were making me so nervous today," Mina admitted. "But I'm happier than words can express, Jihyo. I don't know what to say either."

"Then let's not say anything," Jihyo murmured, tucking a lock of soft onyx hair behind Mina's ear before pressing another, gentler kiss to her lips.

Mina was so happy she felt she might cry, and in the end, a few tears did slip down her cheeks.

Jihyo pulled back to brush them away with soft fingers.

"My Mina," she mused to herself, "all mine."

"And my Jihyo, mine as well." Mina mirrored as they both leaned forward to-

SQUEAK

"Mina, is everything-gasp"

Both Jihyo and Mina jumped in their place as they heard the door being opened and Sana was standing there, eyes widened and mouth opened.

Both Mina and Jihyo were beyond embarrassed by being caught both by kissing and now that thev're lesbian.

What's to happen now, they didn't know, but now by being together, that lightened the ordeal, but even so, they weren't prepared for this...okay they should have been more careful, but everything was getting too much.

"W-were you two just-...are you two..." Sana pointed at both of them as she walked in closer, closing the door behind her.

Mina was beyond the color red of embarrassment so Jihyo took charge.

With Mina's returned feelings, it was a hell of a lot of stress taken off her, but still, with letting the others know, she was scared of their reaction too.

Jihyo took a deep breath and nodded, but was filled with anxiety about how fast this was going.

"Yes, Sana. Mina and I...we're gay...and we're together."

Saying that was a godsend to Jihyo's and Mina's feelings as Mina looked towards Jihyo.

Sana stopped in place.

"No...way..."

Jihyo nodded.

"I know Sana, I'm deeply sorry, but we'll explain every."

"Ahh! It's about time!"

"...eh" "...eh"

"Do you know how long we were waiting for this to happen!?" Sana outstretched her arms

...y-you knew?" Jihyo asked as Sana nodded.

"Well of course I knew! We all knew! We live together pabos! For god sake, we sleep in the same room!" Sana waved her hands around, "obviously Nayeon and I caught you checking each other out loads of time!"

Both girls were frozen in time.

"Ah I'm so happy for you two!" Sana looked like she was going to cry as well, "and before you ask, yes we're okay with you two, we always have been okay with it if anything happened between you two." Sana explained and that made Mina's and Jihyo's anxiety drop.

"Y-you are?"

"Yes, Jihyo we all are. We don't care about what you are or who you like, we love you both no matter what. You're still our leader and our penguin no matter what." Sana smiled and assured them and that hit Jihyo and Mina hard. "Just maybe don't tell manager-unnie yet though or anyone for that mat-ah Mina.

Jihyo turned to Mina and that did it, tears dropping down her cheeks like rivers and after seeing her new girlfriend cry, got Jihyo to start tearing up as well again.

Both were from happiness and relief.

In a span of no less than five minutes, both Jihyo and Mina lives went up for the best and every negative thought they had gone away instant after instant.

Before Jihyo could do anything, Sana came forward and hugged Mina in a flash.

"Don't cry, Mina. Please." She soothed as Mina burrowed her head into Sana's shoulder.

"Ahe...g-gomen sniff...l-I'm just so happyyyehe.." And Mina started to cry into Sana's shoulder as Sana patted her back.

Jihyo felt her hand being squeezed as Mina's interaction brought Jihyo into the hug as well as she joined near Mina's head and gave her a kiss on the side.

"I'm happy too Mina. So happy..." Jihyo let her tears drop as well as the three shared this hug together.

With their newfound relationship and with Sana's confession of the other members happy for them, Jihyo and Mina couldn't be anymore ecstatic to live in the open now and with each other for the next six years like this.

===========================

FLASHBACK OVER

PRESENT TIME

"Jihyo."

Jihyo's eyes shot up to Mina's turned head.

"We're not gonna have any film if you keep staring at me like that."

"But it's the best thing to watch~" Jihyo grew a large smile as Mina rolled her eyes.

"We're shooting a commercial, remember work first." Mina pointed at the camera in the corner, "now I have to delete it and start again."

"I know, gomen...but you can't blame me due to those sweats of yours." Jihyo pouted as she heard Mina laugh.

"I needed to wear something to work out in.

Just sit in front of me then." Mina didn't turn as she was focusing on the camera.

"Aww...well, I do need a small convincing to do so~"

Mina turned to Jihyo as she stood up and walked towards Mina.

"Jihyo, sigh fine, but then we work okay." Mina pointed at her as Jihyo nodded.

"Then we work, now come here~"

Mina smiled as Jihyo got up to Mina, grabbed her by the neck, and kissed her girlfriend full one.

If the kiss wasn't obvious enough, Mina and Jihyo are still a couple.

Apart from their own group, no one else knows about them, not even their manager still.

It was even arranged that Jihyo and Mina would switch bedrooms with Momo and Jeongyeon to leave the room for them to have their private time together...and no, it wasn't ALWAYS that kind of 'private times'

It was merely for them to be together without disturbing or being interrupted by Nayeon and Sana.

Plus it worked for them as well with Sana and Momo along with Nayeon and Jeongyeon being closer to one another.

Their manager took notice but disregarded thinking Jeongyeon and Momo were happier with the two.

Ever since then, the two have been inseparable, even during out in public, but they wouldn't showcase any couple acts out, merely being close to each other.

So much so, that their shipping name rose to the very top of the Twice ships, but all the members laughed it out though.

And so here we are.

Jihyo went towards her, and she stood to greet Mina.

It's a romantic novel cliche, to say they melted into each other's arms, but they did.

It was as if their bodies wanted to meet, each wanting to accommodate the other so that they fitted together perfectly in a tight embrace.

------------------------------

I GUESS TUMBLR HAS 1000 BLOCK LIMIT THAT I CAN'T GET PASS SO THIS IS 1/2, 2/2 WILL BE IN ANOTHER POST.

IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO FIX, PLEASE MESSAGE, THANKS.

#twice #park jihyo #myoui mina #mihyo

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