#and that one psycho pumpkin king dude

[achromant]

hello, I just followed for your orctober stuff and scrolled through some of your blog and wanted to ask, what is guild wars 2?

OOOH BOY HERE I GO! ahem.

Guild Wars 2 is a high fantasy MMO, similar to maybe Final Fantasy Online. Guid Wars as a series is about as old as World of Warcraft, but has a much smaller fanbase; mostly because the company behind it, ArenaNet, seems to be allergic to advertisements (it's gotten better since the last two expansions).

These days, the core game is free, with only the expansions costing money. Well, some expansions, as they just throw in older expacs for free now. Even if you start with a free account, you can technically buy an upgrade by just... using ingame currency, which is a WILD concept to me.

Most notable features of the game are probably the character customization, free dyeing of armor, and a few thousand unique armor and weapon skins. Players often joke that the true endgame of GW2 is fashion (and they are RIGHT goddamnit). All five playable races are so ridiculously detailed in lore and design, it's incredible. Sylvari for example are not plain elves, they are full on plant constructs that grow from fruits on the mother tree. Asura are not just gnomes/goblins, they are a highly educated society of geniuses that would openly strive for world domination if it werent for their inherent bureaucratic tendencies.

The mounts in GW2 are among the best you will find anywhere, so much that World of Warcraft just copied some for their Dragonflight expansion.

Guild Wars 2 has a medium sized active player base, smaller than WoW or FFXIV, but they are an amazing community. We have veteran players, including me, who routinely patrol the starter maps to offer advice and maybe some healing to newbies (supported by the ingame mentor system). You might receive random mail from players gifting some cake. There's festivals, community parties, role playing, fashion contests, races and minigames.

If you are a seasoned MMO player, GW2 offers raids and the smaller strike system, which is being constantly expanded. Extreme MMO experts might find the game a bit flat, but that's only superficial. For beginners, I'd say the story is beatifully written. You can explore the open world, meeting players along the way (every map holds around 50-80 player at a time). You can choose any class and complete any content, including endgame. Any class, any race, (almost) any playstyle is viable, and nothing about your build is permanent, you can adjust your whole build on the fly.

Aside from the obvious MMO parts, GW2 also has structured PvP (5 vs 5 players) and the so called World vs World, which is a large scale week-long epic battle of three teams of around 50 players on each side (which btw is not as draining on the CPU as you'd think)

If you plan on giving it a try, I'd be more than happy to give you a more detailed overview of the game. This little chaotic hellhole of an MMO is very dear to my heart <3

This is by the way for ANYONE reading this: If any of you want to try the game, hit me up. DM me here on tumblr, or on discord (@ achromant). Even if you already play the game and are still new or just lost - ask me anything you want. I have close to 18k ingame hours.

[geffenrecords]

update on my physical media collection (not including books / records ). list of everything shown in the pictures below the cut ⬇️

DVDS:

IT (1990)

it / it chapter two

ready or not

beetlejuice

glee season 1 (sorry)

glee season 2 (SORRY)

jaws

the secret of nimh

jurassic park, the lost world, jurassic park 3

the breakfast club / sixteen candles / weird science (John Hughes collection)

bill & Ted's excellent adventure / bogus journey

flatliners

the lost boys

diary of a wimpy kid

Grey's anatomy season 1 (SORRRYYY)

aliens

alien resurrection

TMNT (honestly idk why I still have this)

the outsiders

trainspotting

over the edge (matt dillon first movie)

Donnie darko

venom

Jennifer's body

jackass number 2

twilight

the karate kid

the princess diaries

fight club

star wars phantom menace, attack of the clones, and revenge of the sith

Narnia the lion the witch and the wardobe

the osbournes season 1

little miss sunshine

spiderman 1, 2, and 3

the amazing spiderman

elephant

Kung fu panda

the passion of the christ

pay it forward

original star wars trilogy

the polar express

a clockwork orange

heathers

life as a house

surfs up

scream

bowling for columbine

hackers

natural born killers

terminator 2

mysterious skin

moonrise kingdom

American idiot Greenday documentary

that was then, this is now

jackass the movie

suicide kings

the matrix

the Goldfinch

the day after tomorrow

speak

stand by me

kids

rumble fish

CDS;

the black parade (mcr)

danger days (mcr)

American idiot (green day)

21st century breakdown (green day)

in love and death (the used)

may death never stop you (mcr)

baby one more time (britney spears)

life on the murder scene dvd / cds

nevermind (nirvana)

dookie (green day)

nimrod (green day)

uno, dos, tre (green day)

nirvana greatest hits

blue weezer

selfish machines (pierce the veil)

collide with the sky (pierce the veil)

three cheers for sweet revenge (mcr)

from under the cork tree (fall out boy)

teens of denial (car seat headrest)

in utero (nirvana)

licensed to ill (beastie boys)

lost and found (mudvayne)

what it is to burn (finch)

slipknot

no strings attached (nsync)

infinity on high (fall out boy)

fallen (evanescence)

green weezer

mellon collie and the infinite sadness (smashing pumpkins)

Tallahassee (the mountian goats)

bleach (nirvana)

in the areoplane over the sea (neutral milk hotel)

the downward spiral (nin)

facelift (alice in chains)

placebo

smash (offspring)

dirt (alice in chains)

peace sells but whos buying ? (megadeth)

garage days (metallica)

folie a deux (fall out boy)

devil put dinosaurs here (alice in chains)

spit (kittie)

alice in chains

incesticide (nirvana)

hot fuss (the killers)

load (metallica)

american beauty / american psycho (fall out boy)

among the living (anthrax)

oops i did it agian (britney spears)

viva la cobra (cobra starship)

almost here (the academy is...)

kill em all (metallica)

and justice for all (metallica)

lets knife (shonen knife)

lithium single (nirvana)

ride the lightning (metallica)

homemade bullets cd my dad made for me for christmas using scans he found online :)

nirvana unplugged

killings my business (megadeth)

enema of the state (blink182)

take off your pants and jacket (blink182)

pretty hate machine (nin)

screaming for vengeance (judas priest)

fabulous disaster (exodus)

let go (avril lavigne)

hidden treasures (megadeth)

dude ranch (blink182)

there be squabbles ahead (stolen babies)

master of puppets (metallica)

the black album (metallica)

twilight soundtrack

neighborhoods (blink182)

south of heaven (slayer)

blink-182

angst (kmfdm)

adios (kmfdm)

nevermind the bollocks, heres the sex pistols (sex pistols)

hybrid theory (linkin park)

the lion and the cobra (sinead o connor)

seasons in the abyss (slayer)

reign in blood (slayer)

meteroa (linkin park)

anything is (my bloody valentine)

CASSETTE TAPES:

pearl harbor attack story

music from hungary

so far so good so what (megadeth)

the four seasons (vivaldi)

concerti (vivaldi)

hangin' tough (new kids on the block)

tchaikovsky / liszt paino concertos

bach flute sonata

mozart symphonies

cats musical

days of future passed (the moody blues)

60s surf hits

doomsday for the deciever (flotsam and jetsam)

st elmos fire soundtrack

phantom of the opera highlights

defenders of the faith (judas priest)

VHS:

a year and a half in the life of metallica (original 80s tape from my dad!)

cliff em all (also original 80s tape from my dad )

walking with dinosaurs bbc

dead poets society

the lost boys

flatliners

family values 1998 tour (korn, limp bizkit, ice cube, rammstien, orgy)

attack of the clones

aliens

the terminator

hackers

not pictured are my books (way too many and way too unorganized to actually take pictures of), and my records. im not big into record collecting but i do have;

life on the murder scene soundtrack

three cheers for sweet revenge

the black parade is dead!

kill em all

master of puppets

[eyfey]

MANGA REC LIST

I’ve been meaning to update this for a while, and I finally got around to it!

if you’re looking for some new manga to read, here’s my rec list below:

----

These are all varying levels of good- some are AMAZING and some are just a fun read.

For the most part I tried not to include REALLY popular series (like yeah: One Punch Man and Detective Conan and One Piece and whatever are good! but also you’ve probably already read them!)

Also, the categories are just for the sake of organization- take them with a grain of salt. Most of the series are comedy, even those not in the comedy section.

Bonus: here’s a post with more detailed descriptions for 10 of these series, including an example page from each.

and you can also check my manga recs tag I guess

----

~2/20/21 UPDATE~

-

Hey! Comedy! -Hatarakanai Futari -Rojiura Kyoudai -Komi-san wa Komyushou Desu -Nazeda Naitou -Mechanical Marie Fun Times with Monsters and Demons -Yuko Sae Tatakaeba -Mairimashita! Iruma-kun -Maou-jou de Oyasumi -Nicola's Leisurely Demon World Travelogue -Heterogeneous Linguistics It's Romcom! -Futari Ashita mo Sorenari ni -Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu -Koudaike no Hitobito -Soushi Souai -The Story of an Engaged Couple That Doesn't Get Along Chill Slice o' Life -Yugami-kun ni wa Tomodachi ga Inai -Skip to Loafer -Kimi wa Houkago Insomnia -Koi wa Hikari -Boku to Kimi no Taisetsu na Hanashi Watercolor Vibes -Blue Period -Machida-kun no Sekai -Tokyo Alien Bros -Otoyomegatari -Witch Hat Atelier LGBT -Uchi no Musuko wa Tabun Gay (My Son is Probably Gay) -Shimanami Tasogare (Our Dreams At Dusk) -Sorairo Flutter (That Blue Sky Feeling) -Ao no Flag (Blue Flag) -Kimi ni wa Todokanai (I Will Not Reach You) Gender Bender Time -Pumpkin Time (MTF) -Queen Cecia's Shorts (FTM) -About a Lazy Guy Who Woke Up as a Girl One Morning (MTF) -The Villain Discovered My Identity (FTM) -Irregular Empress (FTMTF) The DRAMA of it All -Oshi no Ko -Three Days of Happiness -Inso's Law -Cheese in the Trap -I Will Die Soon ngl These are Kinda Fucked Up  (but like... still really good) -Sachiiro no One Room -I Shaved. Then I Brought a High School Girl Home -Bastard (Hwang Youngchan) -Yuki ni Tsubasa -Hibiki - Shousetsuka ni Naru Houhou Sounds Weird at First but Actually They’re p Good -Ano Hito no I ni wa Boku ga Tarinai -Sono Bisque Doll wa Koi wo Suru -Otome Kaijuu Caramelize -Mieruko-chan -Kusuriya no Hitorigoto Webtoons that are Good to Read -Homeless (or some sites have it as “No Home”) -Dam of the Forest -End and Save -Please Take Care of Me in This Life as Well -Her Summon Violence! (but like- also comedy) -The Violence Action -Nanba MG5 -Saihate no Paladin -Raise wa Tanin ga Ii -Spy x Family Isekai ~Boyz Night~ -Kamitachi ni Hirowareta Otoko -Maou ni Natta node, Dungeon Tsukutte Jingai Musume to Honobono suru -Kage no Jitsuryokusha ni Naritakute -Isekai Yakkyoku -Isekai Ojisan Isekai ~Girlz Night~ -Honzuki no Gekokujou -Sengoku Komachi Kuroutan: Noukou Giga (technically this one is time travel not isekai but close enough) -Crimson Karma -Beast with Flowers -The Lady’s Spaceship Isekai but with Food -Dungeon Meshi -Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi -Gensou Gourmet -Isekai Izakaya "Nobu" -Isekai Ryouridou Reincarnated as a Villainess -When the Villainess Loves -Beware of the Villainess! -Villainess Level 99 ~I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord~ -Jishou Akuyaku Reijou na Konyakusha no Kansatsu Kiroku -Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shite shimatta... Lady Knight! (when the lady is also a knight!) -Emperor and the Female Knight -Blinded by the Setting Sun -Bring the Love -Truthfully They Only Remembered Her -This Girl Is a Little Wild Reborn as a lil Babby -Who Made Me a Princess -Am I the Daughter? -Lady Baby -The Twin Siblings -The Youngest Princess More Children, but These Ones Weren’t Reincarnated (Probably) -Chichi to Hige-Gorilla to Watashi -Baby, Kokoro no Mama ni! -Yotsubato! -Dungeon Nursery -The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess Look: It's about FAMILY -Yuzuki-san Chi no Yon Kyoudai -Ohayou Toka Oyasumi Toka -Ikoku Nikki -Mizu wa Umi ni Mukatte Nagareru -A Boy's Scar

---

~ORIGINAL LIST: Made sometime in like 2017 or 2018~

-

COMEDY my dude -Saiki Kusuo no PSI nan -Pyu to Fuku! Jaguar -Sket Dance -My Name is Zushio -Samon the Summoner Supernatural pt1 (Youkai) -Demi-chan wa Kataritai -Natsume Yuujinchou -Satou-kun no Juunan Seikatsu -Fukigen na Mononokean -Takeo-chan Bukkairoku Supernatural pt 2 (Not-Youkai) -Hinamatsuri -Lookism -Mob Psycho 100 -Spirit Circle -Flying Witch Kinda Old n’ Obscure -Kyuukyoku Choujin R -Kyou Kara Ore Wa -Lucu Lucu -Ocha Nigosu -Yamada Tarou Monogatari Gender Benders/Crossdressing/Body Swaps -Shishunki Bitter Change -Usotsuki Lilly -AKB49 -Prunus Girl -Samurai High School Shounen/Seinen Series with Fighting -Birdmen -Saike mata Shitemo -Vinland Saga -Ajin -To You the Immortal (Fumetsu no Anata e) Shounen/Seinen Series without Fighting -Piano no Mori -3-gatsu no Lion -Hammer Session -Kings’ Viking -Oyasumi Punpun Romance pt1 (a mixed bag) -Love is Hard for an Otaku -High Score Girl -Horimiya -Ojojojo -Hoshino, Me wo Tsubutte Romance pt2 (It’s about the comedy) -Kaguya wants to be Confessed to -Ouji ga Watashi o Akiramenaide -Boku wa Ohimesama ni narenai -Yandere Kanojo -Tsurezure Children Romance pt2 (Very Shoujo) -Warau Kanoko-sama (and the sequel: Koi dano Ai dano) -Ore Monogatari -Last Game -Nekota no Koto ga Kininatte Shikatanai -Akagami no Shirayuki Hime Romance pt3 (Less about the romance, more about other stuff) -Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun -Karakuri Odette -ReLIFE -Pochi Kuro -Akatsuki no Yona Look. Just trust me on these. -Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer -Sumire 16-sai -Fujimi Lovers -Angel Densetsu -Nickelodeon You said it’s about… what? (weird plot but good) -Donyatsu -Shiori Experience -Uchi no Maou Kamimasen yo -Makai no Ossan -Katana (Kamata Kimiko) Warning: Ecchi (but still p good actually) -Mousou Telepathy -Hatsukoi Zombie -Sankarea -Rosario to Vampire -Boku Girl Mostly just Cute -Bird Cafe -Gokicha!! -Odette -Nukoduke -Ryuushika Ryuushika Taking Care Of Children (Extra Adorable) -Chichikogusa -Gakuen Babysitters -Flat -Hisohiso - silent voice -Love So Life Girl + Supernatural Creature = Great -Mahoutsukai no Yome -Somali no Mori no Kamisama -Kuro -Totsukuni no Shoujo -Suijin no Hanayome (by Touma Rei) New Start In Another World (isekais) -Ore to Kawazu-san no Isekai Hourouki -Kumo desu ga, nani ka? -+A Taichi -Moon-led Journey Across Another World -The New Gate RPG World (technincally not isekais? but very isekai-ish) -Tsuyokute New Saga -Good Night World -Sekai Maou -Toaru Ossan no VRMMO Katsudouki -Senyuu 4koma pt1 (Focus on Girl(s)) -Dekoboko Girlish -Love Lab -Tomo-chan wa Onna no ko! -Waratte! Sotomura-san -T-Rex na Kanojo 4koma pt2 (Focus on Guy(s)) -Kuzumi-kun Kuuki Yometemasuka? -Handa-kun -Kao ni Dasenai Yoshizawa-kun -Tanaka-kun wa Itsumo Kedaruge -Tonari no Seki-kun Technically a Harem??? (whatever- don’t worry about it) -Rokudo no Onnatachi -Jitsu-wa Watashi wa -Chikyuu no Houkago -Yamada and the 7 witches -Fujimura-kun Mates

---

Also keep an eye out for if these ever get picked up (very few chapters translated or Japan only)

-Moukin-chan -Kawaii Hito (Saitou Ken) -Time Slip Ota Girl

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - 10 Things The Joker Randomly Does That Kind of Prove He Cares

1.   J is in a good mood more often. It strangely happened after he met you: the first year he had two good days the whole year, the second year he had four and this year is about to have the sixth day and the year is not even over yet! A new record.

The King of Gotham calls you Insanity when he’s in a good mood; that’s the signal you can ask for pretty much whatever you want and he won’t say no.

“Hey Insanity,” J greets when you open your eyes in the morning.

You gasp. OMG, he’s gonna be in a good mood today, such a rare occurrence!

“Hi handsome,” you kiss him super-fast and don’t waste a single moment so you start your tirade:

“Can we spend the day at the beach?”

“Yeah.”

Jackpot!

“Can we make love instead of having sex?”

“Yeah.”

Jackpot!

“Can we hold hands more than 20 seconds?”

“Yeah.”

Jackpot!

“Can we say lovey-dovey things to each other?” “Don’t push it, Insanity.”

Crap.

But you remember your secret weapon and sweetly smile. J squirms, uncomfortable. “Ummm…maybe…no guarantees.”

Jackpot!

“Can we make out for more than 10 minutes before you undress me?”

“Yeah.”

Jackpot!

“Can I call you “my sexy Metal Mouth” after you undress me?”

“Don’t push it, Insanity!”

Crap.

Oh no, here’s the sweet smile again and your boyfriend fusses under the covers, uneasy.

“Ummm…maybe…just once…no guarantees…”

Jackpot!

2.   The Joker never buys you flowers but he makes sure fresh ones are delivered for each room at the penthouse every three days. He likes to break a random one from the bouquets and places it behind your ear.

You’re usually reading a book but stop when he does that.

“Thank you baby,” and you smile in such a sweet way it catches him off guard. You go back to your reading and he sits there, staring and mumbling words. “Want me to get you anything?” you offer, turning the page; can’t really tell what he said.

“No, I have stuff to do!” he sulks, slowly walking away. What J actually said was that you look very cute with that flower but got pissed at himself since you almost heard him. A very unique way to give his girl flowers but it counts; gets a solid E for Effort.

3.   He is reeeaaally straining to do something nice for you once a month.

It’s July, 95 degrees out there; scorching hot and The Joker places his jacket around your shoulders. He saw that in a movie once and figured chicks dig it.

“I’m so hot already,” you try to give it back and see he’s getting angry and then it hits: must be that one nice thing he does monthly. “On the other hand, the air conditioning in the car is going to be full blast and you know I get cold easily.” You keep his jacket and J keeps his cool.

For August he plans to outrun every single nice thing he ever did for you: since you can’t swim he’s going to push you in the river, leave you in there for a bit and save you before you drawn. My God, you will love that for sure!

4.   He takes you to casinos because you like to gamble.

His business partners own your favorite so they close out and seal a whole room just for you two to play the slots machines.

“Baby, I’m not winning!” you stump your foot, pouting.

J loses his shit.

“Why is my girl not winning, hm?” he yells at the guys.

“Well, sir, it’s just luck,” one comments and The Clown Prince of Crime is not happy with the answer.

“My woman needs no luck, SHE HAS ME ! If she doesn’t win in the next 15 minutes, you’ll see what happens !!!!” and J hands you over another stack of 100 dollars bills because you like to play maximum bet and you run out of money pretty fast.

Fortunately, you win $100,000 and it makes you so excited you jump up and down, clapping and laughing. The Joker is excited too for a different reason: he keeps on glaring at your cleavage and your boobs almost bursting out of the tight fabric.

You don’t collect the money because you don’t need it: you just like to win. The blue eyed devil just KNOWS you will be this enthusiastic next month also when he will toss you in the river to let you drawn. You will certainly jump up and down after he saves you.

Probably J’s gonna have a huge surprise regarding his plan, but for now we’ll let him believe in his dream; gets a solid D for Delusional.

5.   The Joker goes insane if he only gets a hint somebody is disrespecting his Queen.

Once he shot somebody because the man said “hello” to you and J didn’t like the tone of his voice. Actually, the dude had a cold; that’s why he sounded weird. Oops!

Another time J thought a guy was giving you the evil eye and stabbed him on the spot.Actually, the dude just had corrective eye surgery and was blinking faster than normal. Oops!

Today is legit though. Both walked in at the meeting right when two smugglers were talking garbage about his Princess. They were saying you look average, not that attractive and The Joker could do better.

He absolutely lost his marbles ! Beat them to a pulp while screaming:

“My woman is not that attractive?! By whose standards you pieces of shit ?! Every time I look at her, my pants are getting tighter !! Do you understand what I’m saying?! I like her and that’s the only standard there is!” and he keeps on kicking them and punching them, completely out of control.

After he’s done and your henchmen take bodies away, you have to ice his bruised up hands; the skin is scraped too.

“Thank you,” you kiss his knuckles and emerge them back in the iced water, smitten by his actions. “Nobody did this for me before, you’re my hero,” you point out, drunk on euphoria.

“This town already has a hero; goddamned Batsy takes all the glory! The bastard is selfish, hates to share the spotlight!” J rolls his eyes.

“Who cares about him?! You’re my hero,” you kiss him and have to say: “I think your pants are getting tighter,” and he growls:

“Either I need new pants or I need to get laid.”

“We’ll go with the second option, OK?” you sweetly smile again and he’s feeling warmer even with his hands in ice.

“If you insist,” he sighs, hating the fact that he did two nice things for you this month instead of just one.

6.   The Joker can’t cook but once a week he makes breakfast in bed.  

Takes him an hour and a half to finish and you are famished. Finally shows up with toast, a boiled egg and salt.

“What took you so long? I’m starving!” you whine, seeing there is almost nothing on your plate…again.

“You can’t rush these things, Kitten ! It has to be perfect, OK?” he raises his voice and you realize you talked too much.

“It is very good,” you take a bite of your toast. “You are getting better and better at this!” you praise his aptitudes and strike his ego.

“I am basically a chef,” J concludes and you peck his cheek, mesmerized by how he has such an outstanding opinion about himself.

“And my hero,” you add and he takes a deep breath, pride making his chest go up and down faster. “Batsy can’t even compare to you.”

“Precisely, Pumpkin. He’s just a psycho out of control.”

“Indeed,” you agree, wanting to emphasize that nobody is sexier than your sexy Metal Mouth but you already used the opportunity when he was in a good mood the other day so you shut up.

7.    J is aware you love his purple coat so he custom ordered an outfit for you made of the same crock material, this way you match.

It’s a two piece ensemble: a very skimpy little bra and an equally flimsy thong, only for him to see. You were thinking you’re getting a halter top and a skirt or something? Ha! Forget about it!

8.   The Joker comforts you when you cry.

“Seriously, Kitten, you’re not ugly,” he caresses your hair while holding you in his arms.

“I am ugly!!” you continue to bawl, making a mess of his favorite silver shirt.

“Hey, look at me,” J lifts your chin up, forcing your eyes to meet, this way maybe he can save whatever is left of his shirt also. “When I wake up in the morning and I see you, I don’t get scared. If you were ugly, I would freak out. But I don’t, which means you look fine.”

“You mean it?” you sniffle, squeezing him harder.

“Absolutely. It could be much worse.”

“So now I look bad and I could look worse in the future?!” whaling restarts.

He walked right into this one unprepared.

“Nahhhh, it can’t get worse than this,” he kisses you and then adds since you cry your eyes out. “ What the hell, I’m teasing; calm down woman! Crying makes you very ugly!”

You stop instantly.

I guess he was prepared after all.

9.    He gives you massages even if you don’t ask for them.

For some reason, his hands always slip in your undies.

“That’s not my back,” you utter and J is quick to respond:

“My bad, Pumpkin.”

For some reason, his hands always get to your boobs afterwards.

“That’s not my back.”

“My bad, Princess.”

“Did you just say my Bat?” you tease and your butt gets pinched.

“Hilarious! Want him to come and give you a massage too?!”

“I wouldn’t mind,” the reply makes The Joker turn you around and you get pinned under his body.

“Watch it, you bad girl!” he snarls, smelling your freshly washed hair.

“Did you just say Bat girl?” you giggle and he grinds his teeth:

“Are you starting to get a kink for Batsy?”

“Me?! No way! I like my hero,” you stretch your neck to kiss him and he purrs, wanting to get the most out of it.

“I am your hero; remember that next month in August,OK?”

He is surely referring to that nice thing he’ll do for you when you’ll be pushed in the river to drawn and he’ll save you in the last moment. Oh, yeah, you’ll enjoy it tremendously!

10.   J learns French just for you.

Spent the whole day fussing around with the dictionary, three laptops and five books until he realized he got what he wanted out of it.

“Princess, I’m done,” your boyfriend announces, victorious.

You can’t wait to hear everything, you’re gonna lose your mind. The Joker takes a deep breath and pronounces with perfect accent:

“Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” (Do you want to sleep with me tonight?)

That’s all he knows.

Holy Commissar Gordon! That’s sooo hot because it’s the only French you know too. Plus the answer:

“Oui, (yes)" you wink at him and he is totally turned on.

“Oh my God, Y/N, you didn’t tell me you speak French fluently!”

“Surprise,” you grin, signaling him to come closer. “We gotta compare notes, don’t you think?”

“Definitely,” J licks his lips, ready to comply since his pants are getting tighter.

Hmmm…either he needs new pants or he needs to get laid. I suppose you’ll go with the second option one more time.

 Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist