#btw this is a scene. for a thing. you wont know about it for years dw about it

[stars-and-guts]

honestly guys i miss someone important but i think its going to be alright!

[vaguely-concerned]

huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.

(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)

it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.

love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)

such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?

one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.

follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.

through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

I feel like somethin I dont see explored too often with the time The Outsiders is set in is how insane the music scene was at the time. ok like let's look at the billboard top 100 singles for both 1967 n 1969 (the billboard top btw was The Rankin for the time) (also I'm about to be a Huge Fuckin Nerd about this so. fair warnin.)

alright so let's take a look at some of the hits from 67

this year was an EXPLOSION of fuckin AMAZIN songs man from all different kinds of genres that reflected an interestin insight on the culture of the time

from the top 14 or so there are instant classics from pop n classic rock giants (we wont get through this list without honorable mentions to the doors, the animals, the Hollies, the turtles, the cowsills, the supremes, the association, the monkees, the ronettes or the temptations)

for 1967 there was an interestin mix of rock n roll that had its foot firmly in the door from the fifties n Elvis to the British invasion in 64 to the hippie movement colorin its own notes. the early versions of psychedelic adjacent music are present in this list. the purer side of the hippie movement is also here with songs like groovin n happy together (n further down the list 'the rain the park n other things' by the cowsills)

more classic rock hits (the Beatles fall from grace btw is very Fuckin Cool as the magical mystery tour was released IN 1967 n their FIRST song on the billboard is at 30 n their only other is at 55 with Penny Lane which I WONT ramble about here but if you know the context of the album then. they were kinda goin through it. but. I digress.)

theres a really cool focus on these complex harmonies overlayed with rock that was just SO fuckin cool for the time that had a real focus with the association n incense n peppermints (in ruby Tuesday a lil but not as much)

a BIG focus for the POLITICAL feelins of the time is for what its worth which was a DIRECT political protest song that managed to almost top the first 25. it was a contest for the Vietnam war, the political paranoia of the time, in support of the younger generation. fuckin PERFECT snapshot for the years attitudes shiftin.

alright I've run my mouth enough lemme do a quick touch on 69 (cause this was another real cool year)

alright honorable mentions for number one cause I need you to know thats The Archies. like from Riverdale. (NOT the new one. like the og comic strip/ show. bands had a weird lil uptick in the 60s for their shtick bein they were in a show. n then they were real. it was a weird time. anyway.)

more big ol bands with a mix of both rock n hippie influences creepin in (heavy mention on Tommy James n the shondells cause like. they were all over BOTH these lists but I almost never hear people talk about them ☹️ respect on my boys names ☹️)

now THISSSS is what I REALLY wanted to talk about. LOOKIT!!! this (I BELEIVE) is the FINAL time the Beatles n Elvis ever shared the top 100. this would be the year the Beatles would break up (TECHNICALLY it wasnt official until April 1970 but John Lennon left privately back in sept of 69) (also I'm SURE there were greasers poppin bottles over that lil fact N the Elvis beat them to the higher single)

mentions for more of the hippie movement with 'get together' n 'sweet caroline' which I forgot to highlight but is The Sweet Caroline. n another political protest song with 2525.

AH!! sorry I ran my mouth WAY too long but man I love the songs from this decade man. I'll leave the links to the top 100 for 67 n 69 below too just in case yall wanna give it a listen (you totally should)

[ganondoodle]

saw a few posts talking about ganondorf and while i dont want to uh .. risk having to argue with strangers ... i cant shut up entirely (you know me)

(in my opinion that is probably missing alot or just not as well read as a lot of others since i really just say what i feel instead of knowing what im talking about-)

its kinda hard to really talk about him bc hes so .... steeped into tired old stereotypes and harmful tropes with intentionally so little else, if anything, that you almost always end up playing into them if you just take what canon tells you (and alot of people love defending it too :/ )

to what degree is it really his character and what is literally just some things that were decided he does to make it clear hes the one note evil guy, to justify whatever horror is done to him and overshadow/bury what anyone else has done, to not think about maybe he had a point bc look how much bad stuff he does! if you made him fight for the freedom/sovereignity of his own people against an oppressive hyrule he would be in the right- so ACTUALLY he opresses them violently and selfishly even WORSE and then wants to murder everyone tm that dont bow to him bc thats what evil people do! and hyrule is justified in taking them over in turn bc their rule wont opress them :)

its like a game of trying to one up whatever hyrule did with something more bad tm bc otherwise it gets hard to justify killing him over and over

im not saying hes not allowed to be prideful, selfish or violent of whatever, but you gotta know that all of that IS one of those ways that is supposed to make it clear how evil tm the desert guy is; it doesnt matter what hyrule has done bc look! ganondorf is so much worse! and im sure hyrule had their reasons :)

hes never actually allowed to interact with his own people, hes isolated/alienated from them and their culture constantly, hes their king yet he .... violently takes over "free" gerudo villages (what? what for?? what does "free" even mean? they werent following him? their king?? were they .. allied with hyrule, who are good tm, which means they were living in paradise aka "free"? (bc they are good ones tm bc they rejected their evil one in a hundred year man king ruling violently over only women .. *cough*)), yet hes never seen fighting alongside his own people (the most is them .. silently serving him in what, one scene??) and then he drops them the second he has evil MONSTERS to fight for him instead and orders them to kill every living thing or something bc thats obviously evil, he doesnt even care about his own people! how evil! why would he do that? idk, hes the sole, selfish violent evil man opressing his own people, who are all women! that what they do! and WE need to free them from HIM (and they should be thankful to us for it and try to attone for ever having birthed him in the first place) (or he is the reason tm why they suffered/were wiped out and he is literally the sole survivor of his people, bc he doesnt care about ANYONE but himself)

i dont mean he has to be a goody two shoes character (you can be an ass and still do good/be in the right btw) bc more often than not what that actually means is being allied with hyrule bc those are the designated good guys and being on their side makes you automatically good (eugh) but do you rly want to just ... play along with all the propaganda?

imo, aside from being obviously racist, thats also so boring? does selfish, violent evil man king with no people (bc hes not part of them or fighting for them, hes always presented as the worse oppressor) and nothing else to him that only wants to murder bc ... idk evil? sound interesting to you? (to the point that the ONLY time we were shown literally any sort of vunerabillity, end of ww, that theres people trying to argue he was trying to to manipulate you even there?? what for? why? are you trying to reject literally the one glimpse we are allowed into his perspective qoq)

why do alot of people reject the idea so much to consider he actually cared about them, how maybe that prideful and selfish look is just a facade, or even a fabrication? violence that had to be met with violence, not for any sort of selfish reasons, but for his people and was met with a fight he could not win yet kept fighting on, perhaps losing himself more and more in the process, or a lie told so often that it became reality, if someone has nothign left to lose, if all was taken from them, maybe even blamed on them, why not play into what you where made out to be, you cant convince them otherwise anyway its the reason hes never shown to have done a single nice thing, never seen non angry/smug smiling, how he has no one at his side unless he forced them, how he is not allowed to be human even a little bit, never shown being anything but a boring ass trope personified, hes less a character and more a big bundle of racist tropes that fights you at the end (sorry) while looking epic so trying to meaningfully analyze him just by what we are told and shown in canon will always fall kinda flat or end up playing righ into every shitty trope

that is my opinion :I

[sokumotanaka]

Actually I disagree, not even personally but Jaune being removed would improve the show tenfold.

Allow me to explain: (Long post ahead, you know me.)

First off remember that RWBY originally was a female empowerment show, so jaune having his own arc where we focus on "some guy" instead of the title characters spits in the face of this idea- a "anime" or show made for the female gaze of women being badass warriors is rare especially for the time it was introduced.

Second Jaune arc is based off real life Joan of arc and a poor representation of the murdered saint. It be like making idk Chris Pratt and anime girl and then making them the WORST. If this is suppose to be female empowerment, why even make Jaune a dude besides the writer wanted to self insert his OC in something he frankly should of stayed out of.

Jaune didn't ruin the show (he didn't help it either.) what ruined the show was poor money management, poor, writing, egotism , racism, Anti-LGBT, Ableism, refusing to take criticism, lazy writers, Lack of forward thinking and planning and the list can go on, but I agree it wasn't Jaune.

And before I get into the knitty gritty; if Jaune was removed and it was just Ren, who cares? Again this was suppose to be a female empowerment show! And there's plenty female led shows and media with small male cast: Sailor moon, Steven universe, Land of the lustrous, totally spies. for games: Nier automata, Bayonetta, Portal, life is strange the list goes on! I'm sure if Jaune was removed Ren could handle the bunk of being the few~

Let's talk about some things Jaune did and why removing him wouldn't be the end of the world.

Volume 1- Jaune's whole thing that is suppose to make him interesting is that he somehow got his hands on fake papers to sneak into beacon because "This is all I ever wanted to be." He then proceeds to hold his classmates back by refusing to study, sleeping through classes and when Pyrrha supposedly a woman who wont tournaments 3 years in a row (which would mean she was 14 when she went into her first hunters training and was allowed to fight teams by herself or has a team she just doesn't mention?)

Jaune's laziness and pride (you can't be both lazy and prideful, that just makes you insufferable) holds his team back and there's never any push-back from Ren and Nora who were homeless and obviously worked hard to get here. He doesn't wanna get better at fighting or studying despite wanting this so badly.

[Sokka accompanying post]

This doesn't change till he thinks he kills a grimm on his own terms, then he got serious (Pyrrha literally didn't tell him he didn't block the grim attack so he'd get his shit together. OR she's into him, confusing writing.)

Vol- 2 he almost outs Blake that she's a faunus before Pyrrha shuts him up.

He stalks and confines the ugly little racist gremlin Weiss in a roo, which is a very real and threatening thing women have to deal with, no one wants to see it in their escapist fantasy that a guy reuses to accept no for an answer and when he says he'll stop- Weiss opens the door and he says "I lied" What a gentleman, stalks and creeps on women, behavior that's gotten real women killed btw.

Vol- 3 Jaune doesn't suck as much here as he just doesn't do what he's told- if Jaune protected the glass or called Glynda, Irowood or Qrow like Ozpin asked, cinder would of been passed tense and Pyrrha would still be alive.

But he calls ruby then throws his phone for no reason? I mean all it would take to fix that scene is have it either be low charge so he could only make that one call, or when the locker crashed it broke the scroll so it wouldn't last past the first call but he wouldn't know till it happens.

But the problem with vol 1-3 is that because it spends alot of time with Jaune, the title characters RWBY barely get any character growth and the other side characters get zero screen-time (because miles got pissed that people didn't like the jaune arc, threw a tantrum and punished us by refusing to make more character focused arcs cause is pet oc didn't get the circle jerk he wanted.)

If Jaune wasn't in the series or was Joan (so he couldn't self insert) then we'd probably at the very least get better written characters. Okay moving on!

Vol- 4 Jaune for some reason got Pyrrha's remains and instead of giving them to her parents decides on his behalf to melt them down and incorporate them into HIS gear, Ren and Nora get nothing and never protest that he should give it to her parents. (I mean it could of still ended with them taking maybe Pyrrha's tiara and letting Jaune have the rest then Pyrrha's stepdad (the blacksmith) could soup up jaune's gear.

We think Ruby's gonna get development when she dreams about Pyrrha but she just wakes up so the scene could switch to Jaune and the commentary track states that she wakes up so the scene could be about "making jaune cool" Ruby didn't even need to wake up for that! Also why not give RUBY THE COOL SCENES!? SHE WATCHED PYRRHA DIE, LET HER TRAIN IN PAIN AT NIGHT!

My favorite part of volume 4 is that they consistently ignore Jaune's strategist plans, he tells them to knock away the limbs on the geist and then the body and ruby goes "I'ma just throw the strongest party member at it and kill it one hit." Then when the team is circling the nuck, he stops them, they look at him and he tells them to circle him and they just ignore him to continue what they're doing and Jaune takes credit I assume.

Jaune also spends the entire arc turning to ruby while her uncle is dying and he saved her going "your uncle should die." Btw Jaune when ruby was about to get stabbed by Tyrian just sat there and closed his eyes- I saw this bitch charge a nevermore without a weapon for pyrrha but not for the first friend who spoke to him on the first day? You suck Jaune, you have a shield and "alot of aura"

vol- 5 Miles lies to us and says that his semblance isn't healing he just gives them more Aura which Aura heals minor wounds remember; and just covers Weiss impalement wound, she needs a hospital, aura can't heal a spear through the body!

He also takes away Ruby's fight with cinder, he should of fought leo, not the 14 year old farm boy they kidnapped.

vol- 6 he puts a hole in his sister's wall and never apologizes (good god you're a guest here!) Then assaults a 14 year old farm boy because of the ghost possessing him. Oscar should of legit ran away and they should of never seen him again, they treat him like garbage, why did qrow punch him? Why did yang pull out her weapons, blake and weiss too, were they gonna stab or kill this kid because Ozpin was in him and they didn't like him? Rope him up, weiss has glyphs for this, this shows abusive.

Jaune also gets a solo scene with Pyrrha's mom telling him it was okay that she sacrificed herself for him because...shrug, Ruby never gets this closure despite seeing her die...AGAIN!

Vol-7/8 Milfs would never be into Jaune, he's such an plain character design and he's 17, this is some wish fulfillment crap

vol- 9

Jaune is turned into a 50-60 year old man that creepily watches over some creatures he doesn't understand and names one after Pyrrha and then gets pissed they wanna get away from him as fast as possible (They suicide and then come back better what the FUCK are you writing down there!?) and blames a 17 year old for his faults and is never challenged by anyone. HE'S MENTALLY 50-60! He's blaming and yelling at a child!

Then to make matters creepier, the tree makes him LOOK younger but doesn't alter his memories at all (evident from him saying how he missed looking and feeling young) but still keeps him mentally old, thus ruining any chances of him finding love. (which I approve of frankly) Seriously just say that the tree remade him and he was reborn and when he ask "what happened" just say a bad dream.

-----

So yeah Jaune adds nothing to the show and just takes away time from valuable things, frankly Jaune could of exited the show in volume 6 and it been impactful and make sense character wise.

They messed up the robot that the little racist gremlin (NO NOT WEISS THIS TIME ANOTHER SHORT WHITE HAIRED RACIST!) Controlled and Jaune, Ren and Nora could of stayed behind to help, I can see Jaune looking at the statue of Pyrrha and then to his sister and her wife and then saying "We'll help hold them back, we'll catch up with you guys when things calm down." And it could be suspenseful and emotional cause you could go ' What happened? did they survive? Are they okay?' Maybe Maria could stay with them (cause she doesn't do shit in vol 7/8) and it solve the character bloat of the series as well.

Jaune being removed could actually make the show better AND make the female empowerment show more compelling, actually give the characters proper screen-time and maybe get the writer to focus on something else besides "Making Jaune cool" It's called RWBY.

Not JAUNE, make your own series if you wanted SAO with a white guy.

I hope that clears everything up, thanks for sticking with me.

[shallowseeker]

btw i know you said asks off so i wont be offended if you refuse to answer but im always thinking about how touched cas must feel when dean comes storming in during the diner scene in lily sunder... his friends care about him!!!!! :)

Oh. Hehe. I guess when I turned it off, I only turned off anon asks. :-)

No, no. Not offended at all. I just turned off the anon asks cause I was getting a lot of bizarre messages, some of them really out of line. (I think mostly due to me posting a Rowena-pegs-Sam joke on a poll that was apparently more high-stakes to some folks than I ancitpated.).

BUT YES LILY SUNDER OH GOD LET'S HAVE LILY SUNDER HOURS TOGETHER

You know, I wonder! I think he was touched, but he was feeling some mixed emotions, too. Namely, irritation and eventually horror.

I'm not the best Cas understander out there, so maybe a Cas-pert can weight in but... here we go.

///

At the beginning of the episode, we find Dean and Cas in a Cold War, both irritable with one another for...simply put, being heroes. Neither wants the other to "be a hero" and get hurt. The feeling is mutual.

Cas wanted to protect Dean from his stupid deal, and then Mary stepped in to take on the burden of the stupid deal, and then Cas stepped in to override Mary and got Cursed (TM).

OMG Look at Dean's FACE when Cas says, "I have to go."

////

And yes, it appears you're right. He wanted their support!

///

I wonder how heavily Cas's need for appreciation is weighted into this?

I'm thinking particularly of this line: "...and appreciative, too!"

He wants Dean to appreciate his heroics.

We see this desire repeated in the 12x19 Future script, with the mental picture of a strong, shirtless Cas and the hyperfocused closeup of Dean saying, "Thank you..."

///

And Dean is grateful.

From Sam's words, it sounds like Dean is the one who started the Cold War. The end of this episode will bookend with Dean trying to put to words why he's so pissy.

(He's worried.)

///

Looking at the diner scene today...

I honestly think annoyance might be winning for Cas overall. :D

///

He needed to talk the soldier talk, and he does: complimenting his fellow soldiers' dominations of their vessels and "keeping them" all these years.

Yikes, I'm not sure he'd engage in that kind of "angel bro talk" with Sam and Dean present. It's like they're talking about their cars.

Cas is here with one goal in mind, to get intel. He resolves to be cool-headed.

And Cas resolves to put up with it. For the sake of strategy and intel.

///

But then Dean charges in, and this is the face of an angel "losing face" and alllllll his negotiation power:

Sam and Dean have unwittingly taken away his ability for locker-room talk.

///

And then, things go to Hell. Ishim gets mad.

///

With a lap-full of Dean, Cas tries to salvage what little trust he had: "I only brought Sam and Dean."

And Dean, in Ishim's eyes, starts "mouthing off" and "getting cute." He hates it.

(I think Ishim reads them, and he's jealous about it, to be honest. Cas was everything Ishim wanted to be as a soldier, and Cas's humans truly love him.)

///

And Ishim continues his insults, which has the effect of successfully drawing Dean AND Sam into an argument as they defend Cas.

///

Cas tries to give Sam a BIG hint.

//

And then... Cas loses the discussion. Ishim closes up and decides NOT to play ball. Ishim redirects, "I have a safe house nearby."

This is a face of, "fuck you guys. Look what you did. You've made him shut down AND he's demanding I move the conversation to a 'safe place.'"

And a safe place like that is safer for ISHIM but not for Cas. It's not the outcome Cas wanted. He wanted to get to the meat of things: intel.

And he wanted to do it in a public place with backup.

///

Now that I look, I think... I think yes, he's certainly touched to have their support, but in the moment, his annoyance is winning out.

This has the vibes of, "Don't make things needlessly complicated, as you humans tend to do."

YOU DESTROYED MY NEGOTIATION, DEAN.

///

Later, of course, there's the fight.

And Ishim wipes the floor with them.

This and what happens with Ramiel in Stuck in the Middle with You are two of Cas's worst moments. I think they're huge parts of what triggers his lone wolfism at the end of this season.

He may want support, but he doesn't want them to protect him.

That's unacceptable / devastating / frightening!

(Cas, afraid he's going to have to watch Dean die.)

Dean lowers his hand, and we don't GET Cas's reaction when he does, but I can imagine it was one of the most devastating moments of his life.

Aside/// Someone smarter than me... Is that even a proper banishing sigil? It doesn't have the usual triangle that I've seen the boys use. I know Samuel used some different ones...

///

And Ishim, who already "read" Dean in the dinner, is now wanting to punish Castiel for having THE THING HE HIMSELF wanted...

...and so of course he calls his bluff: "That's what I thought."

//////

I rate it MIXED. I think Cas is having majorly mixed feelings about all this! I think he wants his family's support, but when he finally gets it, it's the WORST feeling. It's maybe the worst thing that's ever happened to him.

[kindred-spirit-93]

moi, the gift that keeps on giving

so i decided to mess around with my gmail settings (as one does) and ended up going to see my google docs. the one i never used. like ever. so imagine my surprise when i found 3 documents staring right back at me from 2021 ish.. a period of enlightenment for us all im sure

anyway at the time i had accidentally deleted my notes on keep and my brother helped me restore stuff i had saved? or i had uploaded my notes copy pasted to restore them if i ever made the same mistake?

regardless its a case of "i found the fanfic i wrote when i was 11" except its my own ocs & writing and omfg. i was probably 15 at the time but on all levels except physical i was indeed 11 (esp in writing bc we moved when i was 10 and i stopped reading as much so i always said when i pick up where i left off its going to be 11 year old level lol)

my last exam is on the 27th inshallah and i know i wont be up for writing or drawing anything, so im going to read my avant garde writing and make fun of myself about it because hoo boi

--

this is possibly the funniest thing ever, ive briefly skimmed my (very unfinished) masterpieces and i seemed to have been obsessed with the buddy genre. and theyre all giving wulti level warketing vibes btw:

"smiling at me with tears in the eyes i envied so much" like hello??? why are you constantly thinking about and gazing deeply into her eyes hm? guys i cant stress this enough theyre actually roommates lmao

--

horrendous grammar and an astounding lack of punctuation aside i really look forward to finding more gems like

and my favourite so far:

not showing yall anything from the fight scene even i cant handle the 7th hand embarassment. and its *me*

i lied here u go

welp guess who does now? thats right the whole fucking school. spoiler she does not have a black belt in anything idk what i was on lol

[rambleonwaywardson]

hi!! wanted to come on here and let you know i read the new tjr book atmosphere (idk if you know of or care about tjr) but the book was SOOOO much like your clegan astronaut au just thought id come and share!!! your work in that entire universe is truly so magnificent i reread it so often and absolutely LOVE the ongoing sequel!! not sure if you’d be interested but id love to know more about their origin story a prequel if you will, seeing their love story would be SO cute, i know we get bits and parts but sue me i wont more!

anyways just my ramblings for the day thanks for your magnificent work as well i hope you’re resting well post your procedure!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi there!

I actually just finished Atmosphere yesterday! 100% would recommend to anyone; I’ve been waiting for it for months and it did not disappoint. TJR very much did her research and it shows. Btw I also recommend any of the books on the further reading list at the end if anyone is interested in learning about NASA history and Mission Control.

I kept thinking the same thing about the similarities (it felt kind of crazy at times), especially how some of Joan’s musings about space and life are very similar to Gale’s. I guess there’s just something about space that lends itself to romantic prose(?). I swear all work is 100% original 😂.

Either way, I loved it and connected to it very much. However, it was a key example of why I decided to set TTMAB in the modern day! It’s so much more satisfying letting the boys be shamelessly in love. It actually gave me a lot of inspiration for the as of yet unnamed TTMAB sequel though. I kept having to pause to jot down notes!

I do have some small ideas for prequel-esque stuff taking place during Buck and Bucky’s college years. I won’t ever write a full-out plot driven prequel for TTMAB, mostly because I’ve written their story so that many of the other characters (Curt, Benny, etc) don’t show up until later in their lives, and I don’t like the idea of writing a whole story without characters who I view as quite fundamental. However, I’ve played around with the idea of a collection of one shots taking place when they’re in college that would effectively be a prequel of sorts. I have a pretty full plate, but I’ve had a couple of those scenes on the back burner for a while. Maybe someday… 😊

Thank you so much for these kind words and for taking an interest in this story. I appreciate it so much! Also thank you for the well-wishes – there were some minor complications but I’m on the mend!

[mushed-kid]

okay klance au time

(i don’t think it counts as an au, because it’s not changing canon, its just something that could happen after canon)

warning this is long and hard to understand i cant be bothered. u either get it or you dont.

so i haven’t actually thought out all the details and stuff, this is very much just a thought i had:

It’s set after canon, aka everything stays the same. I KNOWWWW that farm lance gets a lotta hate and i get it trust me, but that also stays the same. Non-negotiable because this whole au basically built around that fact!!! so yeah suck it.

okay so everyone’s doing their thang, the paladins are growing up and like young adults, but they’re not teens anymore!

lance is at the farm, and keith works with the blade of marmora or whatever he ended up doing. i can’t remember but that’s what we’re going with. and you know there’s obviously some klance scenes in the last season and in this au that has developed as the next few years passed.

they might’ve started out hating each other and slowly getting better at standing each other, and then friendship developed into a little more, and now they’re basically dating. except they have never said that they’re dating, but neither of them wants to be with anyone else so it’s fine, they know. and they like it that way, it takes the pressure of. (everyone knows but it’s not something that’s brought up)

and anyway point is keith works in space right? and he comes back to earth often because that’s where they all meet, and they try to meet frequently. and that’s where lance lives, so why wouldn’t he? so he stays there when he visits, and it’s nice.

Lance, as always, goes hand in hand with angst. so add some of that. lance has gotten over his feelings for allura. obviously none of them have fully moved on, but with help from the others (and especially keith) he’s come to terms with that. however, that doesn’t mean it’s not constantly affecting him anymore.

he’s already lost allura, and he’s not actually dating keith, but he’s realized that he might not be as straight as he thought over the last couple years. and maybe there’s more to it than just letting keith stay at his house when he visits because he doesn’t have a house, and more because well he might be dating keith but he doesn’t know if keith considers them that. even if it feels that way sometimes

and he’s worried that it’s gonna be another allura-situation. he doesn’t want that, and keith is out in space trying to spread peace and stuff. and lance worries. lance doesn’t want to lose him before he’s even sure that he had him.

and he’s been trying to ignore that thought because everything is fine. keith wont get hurt. he knows what he’s doing and the war is over, so what’s the chances?

but then keith gets hurt.

and the whole thing basically boils down to lance going straight to proposing. because that’s just what he’s like, it has to be good, it has to be perfect. because keith deserves perfect. and it’s not like he can ask keith if they’re dating.

and this is honestly the part i haven’t thought that much about, this idea is mostly based on the setting. but im thinking he gets some help from the other’s at earth to plan it. everyone gathers at lance’s farm because that’s what they always do when they meet up. and everyone is there because keith comes back injured and stays with lance while he gets better.

and lance is nervous because what if he read all of this wrong, he did imagine the rival thing back at garrison, but the others help calm him down. and idrk how but he proposes to keith and asks him to spend their lives together and whatnot.

they have a BEAUTIFUL wedding, and the flowers that remind him of allura are all over btw. they’re in love and everyone’s happy despite it all.

yeah idrk i haven’t worked it out but i like the story. it’s based in the song Found by Dan Davidson. I think it’s cute and it fits with the farm thing. you have to listen to it to get my vision:

[moonlitscales]

Do you have any Oc’s?

OMGOMGOMG!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

I'll start this w/ I have a blog just for my OCs/art!!! (I promise I'm not self promoting 💀)

Okay this will now be a mini rant on my OCs bc I've been WAAAITING to answer this!!!!1!!1!1!!!! (tweaking while writing this)

My current biggest OCs with a story are Sia, Nova, Diana, and Annie. Their story centers around a cult (motivation currently unknown), that is following Sia and Nova every town they move. Nova is Sia's older sister and raised her from a baby when Nova was only around 7-8 years old. The sister move towns almost every year, yet Diana appears in almost every one.

Diana is Sia's closest friend and secret stalker. Annie doesn't come up much, but has a history with Nova that isn't the best. Sia is unaware but suspicious of the cult, Nova does her best to stay as far away from any signs of it, and Diana and Annie and members said cult.

These are all their designs and a few things about them!!!

Sia Kitlen:

-She is a Siamese cat (surprise) with a liking more towards the scene style and listens to music a lot. She's pretty sociable and loves making friends even if she wont see them for long. She is a demigirl (she/they) and a Omnisexual with a preference for women.

I have a whole post just for her!!

Tid-bits about her I was asked!

Nova Kitlen:

-A black cat and Sias older sister with a TOUGH backstory. She's cold and barely talks to anyone besides her sister. She strives to be a fashion designed since it was what her papa wanted to be before he passed. She is aroace, but has had a romantic history. (not too open to relationships now though) She's almost missing her ring finger on her left hand and has the sigil of the cult branded on her back bc why not 😋

Diana:

-A soft/cutecore bunny who seems to follow the sisters at every town they move to; whether she shows herself or not. She's more soft spoken and gentle with a passion for photography, but is actually a HEAVY stalker and border line yandere. She's apart of the cult (I just don't have a name for them yet 💀) and her purpose is to follow Nova and give updates but really only pays attention to Sia. She's a raging lesbian btw, she thinks everyone's super icky but especially men

Annie:

(okay so I don't actually have a full working design for her yet but shes going be a "scary" or tough dog breed like a pitbull I just need to finish designing it bc she was originally 'human' 💀)

-Annie is a mechanic/inventor who works in her mothers/family business: "Annie and Bells" (her mother). Her family comes first, which was unfortunate when she fell for Nova only to have her pushed away because of the cult. She was originally supposed to only get close to her to get her back into the cults hands but fell for her instead. She a bisexual who really REALLY misses her ex.

Also if you've gotten down to this part that means you've paid enough attention to care and you deserve to know: Sia and Annie were old Welcome home Ocs 😓 I eventually separated them from it, but deAR GOD do I have a scary amount of art shipping Sia and a Wally AU T-T (also here's the cult sigil or something)

(spider :3)

But yeah! Those are my current biggest and most important ocs!!! I do have a few others but those are the ones I'm currently hyperfixating on :333

Here's a few extra just because and i'm bored

Clara is an old Hazbin hotel oc overlord own owns a makeup company and shipped with Velvette bc why not

Kai is literally just a chill beach girl. Made her from an OC challenge w/ my bestie lol

[taviokapudding]

Simon's joke of "soup of theseus" is so damn good & way more layered than most people think.

Okay so first- what is the ship of Theseus?

So amongst his many misadventures and legends the ship of theseus was a ship the Athenians believed connected them to the divine living person that was Theseus. The thing is, he was maybe Poseidon's adopted kid/the King if Athen's son and probably not real (or at least if he did his misadventures were super exaggerated as royals = divity stories are) but the fate the Athenians had for him & Apollo (the 6 labors is a fun legend that explains their connection and what the original ship may have been) was so intense, they would constantly give maintence as a form of religious worship to said ship on the island of Delos (where Apollo's most sacred sancutary is) every year it would dock to pay respects.

Btw we don't need to know the specifics of Theseus but he did infamously slay a minotar and Finn did have a good exchange with the Mannish Man to get the enchiridion aka the book that sets Betty & Simon on the paths they are on now so that's neat af

So if you've ever heard about the ship of Theseus being paradox- it comes from the critique that's always existed about that ship's maintenance & religious practices tldr if you are constantly replacing each rotted and borken part of a ship, is it still the same ship?

The soup is a paradox like the ship

That paradox exists in many many scifi and adventure stories like the Nier series & Ghost in the Shell but in this instance we got to first look at the joke literally. Farm world's Finn's wife's soup is the same as the ship. The original soup farm world HW made no longer exists on a technicality, but the way Finn and his kids continue to add on and consume the soup is exactly like the Athenians. It's about the intent of carrying on the memory and keeping the soup around to honor the dead rather than the soup's original recipe {which also is incredibly sad & imples that farmworld Finn is both coping and never learned the original soup recipe}. It's a beautiful way to honor their dead mom/wife and it makes you wonder if that Finn did die if his kids will continue the practice.

But the paradox goes beyond the soup & into our reality

A lot of people have noticed that Fionna's last name is Campbell and Campbells is a real soup brand that would've been around before the great mushroom war. When Marceline gets sick as a kid, Simon goes great lenghts to get her chicken soup- that only worked out because the primordial version of the Mother Gum assisting {which is extreme Bubbeline foreshadowing}. And in that scene the can low key is a campbell design. But what if I told you there's more?

In Cheers, the tv show Simon is seen constantly watching and referencing throughout the original run of Adventure Time & in the recent Fionna and Cake had Carla Tortelli work at a Canpbell's Factory.

Neat references aside the soup ends the moment the main trio hit the remote button and I have a BA in psychology & interest in childrens media and entertainment that I want to milk for once. Metaphorical intention is beyond relevant episode specifics but actually the foundation of Fionna and Cake when it comes to the paradox.

Simon making the soup of Theseus joke is the main problem Fionna and Cake has to address

If Simon can summon his & Prismo's au from his head without proper MMS (Magic, Madness, and Sadness) where does Simon the human start and Ice King end?

As viewers who grew up alongside the series, the majority of 25+ watchers are finding Simon, older Finn, and Fionna painfully relatable because good fucking god we are all traumatized because of the ongoing pandemic.

If you want to focus on the main topic you can skip this part. But if you want to get very serious for a minute, please stay. The majority of people wont to accept what I just said about the pandemic being ongoing because global governments pretending the pandemic is over, the rise of depression and escapism in real time at a social level at a global level but especially in the US where the series is being made, and the daily interactions we have with most people refusing to mask up {with a violent reaction} when there still isn't a cure for COVID has created the perfect enviroment for most people to not accept change or crave extreme change. Fionna and Cake tackles these 2 very common forms of how depression tends to manifest when it's not fully manic to be displayed through Simon (self isolation from poor coping due to loss, detachment from society, dwelling on the past to the point it effects social interactions, extreme forms of religious practice, etc.) and Fionna/Finn (pretending everything is fine, avoidance, going through the bare minimum motions to survive, escapsim and dream of grandure, not caring about sel preservation, no/lack of self control with sweets/coffee, etc.). And I've noted there's a subset of AT viewers who don't relate or find the depections too real to the point they're upset the show's tone isn't as light hearted as AT. The thing is when a global disabling event happens, unless you were under 10 when it happened and even then it's a 50/50 because you probably did lose or know somebody who did die these last several years, you will have some kind of trauma response to it whether you like it or not. Hell, some of you unknowlingly have a gap in your memory about 2020 specifically due to inconsistent sleep schedules that have nothing to do with the shrinking of the brain mass COVID causes that we all call "brain fog" and now that I pointed it out you're probably going to go stare at a wall for 5 mins {sorry btw, doubly if you have long COVID and this is how you found out what brain fog partially is}. As someone who's been dealing with depression since I was a child, it's okay to be not okay given the last several years and doubly if you've been conscious long enough to see the US freefall into fascism too {which I hope encourages those who weren't aware that's been happening to go look into that because we can't get into it right now}. Because I unfortunately know what manic depression can look like - if you find yourself relating to Simon a little too much during ep 3, please talk to somebody who is licensed and trained to do so {not me, I haven't done suicide prevention work since 2017 and am not licensed- I genuienly won't be enough of a resource} okay? Don't throw away yourself nor change yourself for others only. You need to work to accept the past, move on to live in the present, and change yourself for yourself. It won't be easy and resources are out there to not do it alone, alright?

Becuase of how paradoxial and fluid mental health (espeically undiagnosed depression) can be and how AT has it's own version with MMS, could Simon have unconscious MMS still because of Betty's with without a battery but can't tap into it because of his mental state? And could Ice King as we once knew him even be considered a proper person Simon could return too?

The original wish of why Ice King's appearance & abilities is the way it is IS because of Evergreen's impression on Gunter {Evergreen was one of the ice elementals of the past btw- go watch the original Adventure Time for that context}. So Ice King isn't even an original character, just the crown building off the wishes and manifestations of each bearer by emulating a warped version of Evergreen. And that's the main reason why I speculate Ice Thing aka Gunter the Penguin is chill af to the point he got married and can exist with less gems. His wish didn't build off of power to protect Marceline (Simon) nor the power to copy Evergreen (Original Gunter).

As the main trio jump from connected universe to connected universe, more Simons and crowns will appear that are even more removed from our Ooo's crown and it's version of Ice King or Ice Prince or Winter King will only manifest because of the prior and current wishes made. So if Simon does get a crown that isn't the Ooo crown, will the Ice King that once existed even be THE Ice King he wants to be? And will Simon want to be Ice King or an Ice King when the trio do return to his Ooo?

The crown and it's many versions is a paradox that can only be resolved if Simon and Fionna can work together but also set aside their depression to address what they both really want and what that wish's intention will do to themselves and those around them. In short, shit's deep

I applaud the team for Fionna and Cake for tackling such a layered problem and I'm excited to see how Simon's soup of emotions, Fionna's growth, & magic crown of Theseus is addressed.

[bryverros]

YAP MY LIEGE WHAT ARE THE HAPPENINGS IN THY KINGDOM

im going to be real immature on main so turn a blind eye guys

so. my beloved firefighter show. first, a brief introduction to the massive fandom drama. we have buck, eddie and tommy. buck and eddie are best friends since season 2 episode 1 (we are on season 8), tommy becomes an important(?) character in season 7.

- buck and tommy are canonically in a relationship. i want them broken up asap. its not even personal. i just dont think they work, even all the buckandeddie theories aside. and if they do break up, i will call it a win and clap my hands jollily. their fanbase is honestly making me feel stupid because theyre acting like bucktommy is this soulmates endgame couple and i tried seeing it. but i just dont.

exhibit 1. eddie appears in practically every single bucktommy scene. and when he didnt appear directly, he sure as hell was mentioned. a lot. which??? weird??? considering the fact that bucktommy are supposed to be in a relationship and very in love. like maybe i dont know shit about dating but im pretty sure that its objectively weird to include the best friend in all scenes the couple has. so far, in s8, buck and tommy had one (1) scene. and it had eddie in it.

then there’s the whole weird thing on how buck and tommy got together in the first place and one might argue that buck was trying to get eddie’s attention, not tommy’s. so like yeah eddie sure is haunting their narrative a lot and for seemingly no reason which kind of stops me from feeling attached to the ship. which i tried initially before i started praying on their breakup.

- in the scenes buck and tommy (+eddie. cant forget that he was there) did have. sigh. their dynamics is just weird. first of all, tommy is older than buck. like, he was in the flashbacks of the older coworkers (he was kind of racist and kind of homophobic and misogynistic in those too, but ok ill let that pass, people change blah blah). and he called buck kid before they got together. which. sigh. im generally against age gaps i dont fw that stuff and theyre not letting me forget that they do have an age gap. but fine, ill put the age gap aside. theyre both adults so yk. surely it wont be THAT bad. alas. it is. moving to the next exhibit

exhibit 2. the bachelor party. so buck is really excited to organise this themed party for their his brother in law (a dude tommy was kind of racist towards in the flashback btw). the theme is. 80s. buck and eddie do matching costumes (suggested by eddie. very enthusiastically)! matching each others freak! yay! what does tommy do. he arrives in a henley. and as a person who kind of relates to buck in a way that i get excited about things. tommy’s low effort uninterestingness wouldve kind of been hurtful to me? like the way he casually kind of discarded that excitement buck had about this party was giving “im not interested in your interests babe 🫶” and from personal experience! not nice! and buck already had like a shit ton of self esteem issues and like yeah im projecting but please please break up w tommy you deserve better buck please

- name. so evan buckley has been going by buck. everyone calls him buck except his parents (bad. he doesnt like that) and his sister. sometimes. tommy calls him evan all the fucking time. which feels. condescending. i do not like it in the slightest. break up bucktommy. for me. please.

now! onto the clowning part.

ok look. buck and eddie. theyre so special. their friendship is so special. and if they go canon. that would be absolutely historical. like a queer non established from the beginning romance? that has 6+ years of shared history? they were friends before they were lovers and they could be THE friends to lovers in my eyes. and look if they dont go romantic, i really wont be that sad? their friendship kind of remains regardless so like while i do think it would be bold and take some good writing to have them go down the romantic line. i also do really cherish their friendship. but i am strongly gaslit that they will go romantic. to the point where i fear that im clowning about it.

- the actor playing buck recently said that he wants some slowburn for buck. some will they wont they kind of relationship. that the audience will have to yearn for. like my man your character is in a relationship and that relationship came together in, let me check… 2 episodes? slowburn? bucktommy? i have a VERY hard time believing that. there were a whole bunch of other quotes that could be interpreted as bucktommy breakup (yay 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶). like you dont see any other member of the cast speaking about their love interest the same way this man does about tommy.

- the episodes 5 and 6 are centred on buck and eddie respectively. episode 5 will have tommy “weirded out by something about buck” (surprise surprise). episode 6 is called confessions. eddie has a lot of potential queer coding (eddie: “i just hate having to date. it feels like i have to perform”; someone else about eddies relationship: “just make sure youre following your heart. not christopher’s [his son]” ahh stuff). and episode 6 is centred on him. it also is coming out on nov 7th, 2 days after the infamous destiel election day. so having eddies coming out in that episode would be the funniest thing ever. and the marketing for these episodes is driving me insane. like. will they. wont they. will they. wont they. i feel like im clowning so hard but i also feel like i cant be wrong about this stuff yk? too many coincidences?

so yeah. episode 5 is coming out today. wish me luck (bucktommy breakup ⁉️)

[franticallyfrying]

hi yes sorry i should be asleep anyway, shard theory chpater 3&4 spoilers

so so listen, we have shards yes

and they make kris' hands go, yes? and and, we have we have mantle yes?

what the hell is a mantle hold on

okay theres like 50 thousand billion definitions

so basically, the dark shards are either gonna be the last piece of the prophecy that we dont know, or something entirely different ive kind of abandoned this train of thought to talk about the mantle

i know nothing of the shadow mantle except it helps us defeat the roaring knight and its hella hard to get in the little game things, i should know, ive been trying,

apparently mantle can mean cloak/cover, the geological definition , the like "taking up the mantle" like a role, and also it can be like very spiritual or whatever

i saw cloak and all semblance or reason was ripped from my mind cause like since the prophecy was basically tangible, the prince *was* wearing a cloak,, but yknow who else is???? noelle, who is also who we see when we *get* the mantle

and the plug said the games were about freedom

is the only way for kris to be free (or us idk) to do the snowgrave route, kill everyone, and do all the weird routes and stuff? or like,, what if we do all that and we just see the prophecy

i would not put it past toby for him to make us play a whole playthrough just to find a clue on a different ending cause thats kind of what happened in the s-rank route, the sour route, if you will

bUt anyway the shards i need to know what they do i still havent seen *all* the spoilers yet so take this with a grain of salt and spoil me if you will i really wanna know (just make sure to warn and tag for those who dont yet)

noelle being the one to change the whole story is also so cool cause theres like a ninety percent chance the knight is dess, maybe with some papyrus sprinkled in there but i think we are not doing enough theorizing about either kris is the deltaruned one in the door, the other and so on idk

i also want to say like, kris and hands, susie being so curious she ruins the last dark world, like , everythings so well done, the fruit juice option in a previous chapter im just 🤌i could chant prayers to this game forever

the fricking the gacha machine scene i had to see spoilers for that i never would have gotten it in a million years it was bone chilling (if you dont want spoilers just mess with it a lot youll see what im talking about hopefully)(i wont give you a clue though)(unless you ask really nice)(but at that point im asleep)

im curious what happens if you get all T-rank but god knows im not skilled enough i will leave that one to the professionals.

anyway i am not good at theorizing i have alphabet soup but the letters dont combine i need someone to smash my brain together pleasepleaseplease

when i accidentally killed susie in the golden cactus room my heart dropped btw i am weak-willed for this job

doing a go back to sleep route for the whole game next its probably a lot easier(i dont actually know, ill find out) (can you do that in every chapter im not sure)

anywys i would finish this but 1 it is very long already and 2 i am tired goidnignjt

ill have juice tommorow

[yourpeskyfriend]

tff rewatch thoughts, ep 10 (you forgot | but i still remember)

spoilerssss

prologue. we're at beiyu. wen yi fan is called to go home early for errands. sang yan follows to give her back her favorite book. at the door, sang yan overhears wen yi fan being scolded (they won't give her some of her cousin's special chicken soup... because she's only ever caused trouble, she's a burden, she's not special enough) :(

at beiyu nostalgic noodles again, they're sitting apart on two separate tables, being watched closely by the store owner... apparently so they could focus on studying instead of flirting.

they still manage to do so anyway hihi. sang yan asks, did you get the book i returned? coz he's calling her attention to a note he wrote, which he placed between the pages of her favorite poem, "when you are old, i wont forget the time we spent together." im crying again. 😭 in one of the earlier episodes, we see that present-day wen yi fan has actually kept this note with her all these years.

today. at work, wen yi fan's aunt visits her. she makes a scene, and wen yi fan is distressed again. like really, really affected and distressed.

she sleepwalks again tonight. sits on the couch and repeatedly fiddles on her shirt sleeve. sang yan is worried for her, but still has no idea what’s truly going on. he even calls out her name twice, but thinks that she's just ignoring him.

in the morning, sang yan has made sure that breakfast is ready for his confrontation, but she's in a hurry, so she just drinks coffee and storms out. (btw, she drinks his coffee. ugh. these little details just get meeeee).

wen yi fan opens up to qiao qiao about how much she was made to feel like a burden living at her aunt's place all those years ago. now, she's internalized those words so deeply, believing them to be absolutely true.

she adds, "when i see those 100 yuan skirts, or those cheap little cakes... i cant bring myself to buy them... it's just that those things really feel like a waste when used on me." (i want to hugggg herrrr. but im glad that at least she's talking about her feelings to qiao qiao.. you can rely on other people, too, wen yi fan!)

at home. sang yan is now the one ignoring her (he can be real petty if he wants to be).

BUT ALSO! i made/cooked/bought extra (something) counter: 4; this time it's chicken soup.

i wonder if he was intentionally playing a movie with a plot about a "crazy lady" so he could bring up how "crazy" wen yi fan's been acting the past few nights. hmmm.

it kinda worked that way, though, because with the example of the unhinged lady on tv, there's now some exposition about dual personalities... and... sleepwalking.

she knows all of this because she used to sleepwalk, sang yan. whew. im glad she got that out quick (and that she had the courage to be honest to him this time).

his expressions zip in and out of being worried and wanting to tease her (a word from the tff fandom i picked up is "confrontease," which i think is right on the money for the way sang yan deals with wen yi fan).

he tells her that he's seen her sleepwalk twice now. and the second time was traumatic for him because.. "you suddenly ran over, hugged me, and even... kissed me on the cheek."

wen yi fan is suddenly blushing (it's from the hot chicken soup okkk hihi).

sang yan obviously didn't think his LIES through, because when reporter wen yi fan was suddenly asking some hard-hitting journalistic questions (where did i kiss you?? with our height difference, doesn't that seem improbable?), he's now the one that's flushed 🥵

pressing on, she asks him to reenact the "kiss". goodness. this scene. the tension. when she tiptoes, and he lowers his head.. and they were finally eye-to-eye, lips and noses almost touching.... the slo-mo treatment, the music, the way everything else faded around them, so it's just them (and yearssss worth of loving and longing and pining for each other). SWOOOOON.

i think we fast forward a little bit, because it's now april 4, qing ming fest (which is tomb sweeping day). wen yi fan wakes up very early to visit her dad's grave. she promises her dad she'll take care of herself (come through on this promise, wen yi fan!)

late that night, we see wen yi fan alone at the dinner table, and she's been crying again. and it's not just because of the heaviness of the day. it's all her life's sadness being let out in one big wooshhh.

sang yan's bought her chicken soup. and for the first time, he tells her honestly "the soup is especially for you" (i didn't accidentally buy extra this time. this soup is for you. because i know you've been sad, and because you've been sad, you've been sleepwalking. so please, let me in. let me help).

he closes the balcony doors, too, to keep her from the cold.

huhu. and when wen yi fan says thank you to sang yan, he couldn't even look at her directly (i think it's because he couldn't bear seeing her in such obvious pain).

wen yi fan is sleepwalking again tonight, and sang yan is there for her, ready this time... ready to.. protect her against sharp corners and falling lamp shades (im trying to be funny here. but sang yan in this scene. huhu. her light. her protector.)

and this time. she really does kiss him. and, again, he doesn't quite know how to react (he probably wasn't envisioning their first kiss to be like this!!).

so he resorts to teasing her again, although now he knows that she can't hear him. "i can't stand being taken advantage of. this time you owe me."

AND! he calls her wen shuang jiang again for the first time since their reunion.

AND AND! i think this is the first time BJT's song from the soundtrack is played ("invisible person"…which is so apt for this scene. he's here with/for her, yet she doesn't see him.)

epilogue. sang yan visits wen yi fan's dad's grave. he asks him "all these years, has she been happy?"

[431989]

more resident alien posting. predictions... spoilers so beware

well. i'm upset that the shows going to have a difficult time having more serious scenes now. and that's probably what it's going to try and set itself up for.

i reaaaally would have loved to see this show do something ACTUALLY different and good. by different i mean in terms of writing and not necessarily drifting from source material. yes i'm still sour over last ep, but i wouldn't be AS sour if everyone on the show didn't treat harry and asta's relationship as "mother and child." and also if the show didn't take such a nose dive into the type of comedy it's putting out.

ALSO? IN A RECENT INTERVIEW? Sheridan going on to state that harry would lose his first """love""" (more like lust. awesome that a show trying to teach human emotion gets those two things mixed up) and then realize there's love everywhere or something? why does this feel like "weird" people are forever left to the role of outcasts. already fucked it up once i guess the guy's trying to fuck it up more. could've just left it at "he'll lose his first love, then he will have to reconcile with his feelings." but he had to drop in that last corny bit.

like. the show's source is already good. i don't understand all these decisions they're making to try and make it seem "unique." and now to get numbers back they're dumbing it way down. WHICH. BY DOING SO. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE YOUR DRAMA? like how am i supposed to take anything seriously in the show. i *could* in season 1 and parts of season 2, but now it's just whatever. it's too goofed up for me to care. and now people who love the goofy won't give two shits about whatever message you want to drop or plot you want to develop. i dont give a shit about the greys!!! i dont care what theyre doing!!!! who gives a fuck if theyll blow up the earth. none of the characters really care anymore either. oh well!!!

also, predictions kind of. i'm not trying to say this will be the be all end all but it certainly could be a turn the show takes. in one of the issues of the comic (suicide blonde i think), harry is investigating the "suicide" of a woman. by the end of the issue, he catches up with her ex-lover and ex-roommate. they were both ladies. and the girl who died had a drinking problem btw. and was constantly seeing boys. i'm all for gay couples on screen as a gay guy myself but it'll feel so cheap to pair darcy and asta together despite the way theyve been played on screen. maybe its doable. i don't know. but i genuinely could care less considering the overall tone of the show's drifted more towards a sitcom than anything else. i think the small handful of 40+ year old gay wine moms would probably love it, but the vast majority of viewers wont. either they'll hate it and say it's forced diversity (there's already people saying that about the gay couple on screen this past episode) or it'll be another nothing moment to a further nothing story. if anything it'd feel one step removed from tokenization, considering they see harry as a manchild. ableism! show's trying to seem fucking wholesome but they can't be bothered to care about their nd viewers. like "haha look we have a main gay couple!!! what do you *mean* our show has rampant ableist tropes, we have a gay couple!"

i'm just so bummed. the show's cornered itself into a sitcom so meaningful moments aren't a thing anymore. plus the comparison of harry to a child is really getting at me. like he's a grown man as a human, and hes a grown alien thing as an alien. it's such a big slap in the face to any person who cherished the witty and unique story telling of the first season... like.... i don't know.... people who would've been fans of the comic too? i have small gripes about the comic, but at least it takes itself more seriously. but the show runners haaate the people who read the comics. why? i dont know. well maybe i do know. probably seen as too nerdy and weird for their idea of the show's viewerbase. despite the fucking basis of the show being weird and nerdy.

they couldve done the darcy asta thing better if they do go down that road. i'm just saying i wouldn't be surprised. they already scared off everyone who would've cared for something like that, so i don't know how they'll manage to find an audience that cares. everything in s1 was so organic and felt real!!!!! now its just!!! nothing!!!!!!!!!!

im also thinking about the fact that after posting that one resident alien drawing i did, i've had to block tons of people because they're freaks. loud and proud conservatives. man this shit sucks.

[mynameis-rosie1]

MafiaJay xartist femreader

Firssttttt yall im a new writerrr so its my first work ever saur i hope yall wont be too harsh on me and that i get recognization i cant garantee its the besttt but i hope ull like ittt soo enough from bla bla bla lets get into it Also english isnt my first language loveeeeee💋💋

Some warnnings +facts abt the story

Reader is naive-Jay is cold-Reader is pretty cute and artistic-fluff maybe?-kiss scenes reader is 23 years old young artist while jay is 25 btw ill be using readers name as yn ican say its short since its just The start

Authors pov (the argumant)

"Noo"yn whined while fixing her ponytail wich fell many many times due to her work for hours she has a small shop where she seems her Paintings her friend haneul looked at her in disbelief"yn i already told ya studying arts will get u nowhere u dont even gain a full 3600 dollars per month "thats livable tho" yn says without turning her attention from her painting "gurl ur in la rent alone is 2000 plus the shop payement wich means u dont have time for urself, look its been since highschool that u never had a bf again even tho ur si damn pretty and cute always working never patying with me and other girls" haneul tried to explain that she cares

"Thanks for the concern but thats what i love, ill never back down" yn huffs and sigh knowing her best friend was right "thats it keep living this life u never listen to me i dont even know who im your bestie le you dont give me attention" haneul snaps ...took her purse and left leaving yn fighting back her tears and continues her painting,while listening to her favorite playlist and silently sobbing

A/n pov

"No man im not going with you to buy a damn useless painting from a normal mid shop when u can go to a luxurious place plus u were being a little too confortable dont forget im the boss just because ull marry my sister" jay sigh while running a hand through his well styled hair "its ur sis she the one who wants to buy a so called cute painting from her friend to encourage her and she told US to go so ur going" ethan answers while searching the files on jays desk "whatever fine"

*After sometime*

Jay exited his lamborghini while looking at the place "lets get this over with" than followed when jay entered

Oh my god

Jays pov

I entered the small pink shop and my eyes mais directly on the girl in front of me ....she was wearing a yellow sundress and her hair was loosened with a small ribbon she was wearing a lipgloss and light makeup embracing her features she looked so fragile and pretty we were like the opposite but at that moment i though about one thing only

I had To have her

To becontinued ....

If i found that many people like it ill be Sure to continue it but if not then it was a fun experience