#btw if you're reading this please please PLEASE listen to your gut when it comes to medical stuff

[silvermoon424]

i'm so tired.

[minispidey]

I need to hear your most out of pocket HC about your fav Oscar characters that there really isn’t much evidence for but you feel in your soul is right. Can be fluff or nsfw!

For example:

I think Nathan actually likes to be topped and degraded. Do I have any evidence for this? No. Do I know in my pussy gut that I am right? Yeah 😌💅

OUT OF POCKET HCS.

OSCAR ISAAC character headcanons

Content warning: just some real filthy shit. Uses female body descriptions. Breeding kink A LOT. Mentions cheating but doesn't get cheated on.

Characters: Nathan Bateman, Marc Spector, Jonathan Levy, Steven Grant, Miguel O'Hara.

Words: a lot.

Not beta read.

Requested by: @boredzillenial

Author's Note: i wish i could've written more bUT MY BRAIN IS JUST EXPLODING. Btw, thank you for requesting! Reblogs and comments are appreciated 💅❤️

MINORS DNI

I swear. Nathan Bateman's head... you know exactly what I mean. LISTEN YOU SAID OUT OF POCKET SO HERE'S THE FANTASY: just... just grinding on it, your clit getting stimulated by his shaved head— he's not completely bald so I'm saying that if you caress his head, it'll still feel prickly.

Oh but imagine... breeding kink Nathan (tbh just in general i think all oscar characters would have a breeding kink)

Slow strokes, in and out of you. Nathan holding you still— not even in bed, he just wanted to fuck you in his office while idk doing research, but you were just standing in the corner of his office doing god knows what and he's accusing you of seducing him. And now here he was, his research forgotten and fucking you on his seat.

"Hm? When are you gonna learn your lesson that you can't just strut into my office and expect me not fuck the shit out of you?"

"N-Nathan, I wasn't even doing anything-"

"Shh... this'll be your punishment, okay?"

But at the end of it, just cuddling while he worked... but cockwarming him.

"Keep my cum in. Don't wanna waste God's seed, right sweetie?"

"Nathan, just shut up."

The moment you told him to shut up, something awakens in him.

"Slap me."

"Are you crazy?"

"Love, sweetie, honey bunny... please slap me."

Lets you ride him in your own pace for once, and he tried to stop himself from grabbing your hips and slamming you down on his cock.

"Naughty naughty..."

"Sweetie, please... fuck, you're driving me crazy here."

"Aw, don't you wanna cum in me?"

"F-Fuck..."

He fucking whimpers.

"God's seed shouldn't be wasted, right?"

"I'm never letting you be on top again..."

Marc... oh my Marc. I have a mini series coming soon for the Moon Knight boys where Reader is has such a huge crush on Steven, and becomes his girlfriend after confessing. She meets Marc when he fronted, hates him so much and wants to punch him, but he has the face and body of her boyfriend and didn't want to hurt him. Maybe like an enemies to lovers with Marc and Reader, and Steven being happy that they're getting along. Jake will come later to me idk yet.

Imagine just going to bed in one of his shirts. Drives him CRAZY and the next thing you know, your sleepiness disappears as he fucks into you, just in a brutal pace. He loves groping you, breasts, thighs and all. If you're plus-sized/ chubby, he would hold your waist and giving you a squeeze here and there as he fucks you into oblivion.

Would top a lot but he loves it when you ride him and you get overwhelmed by his size.

"Come on, just a few more inches in."

"Marc... too big..."

Size kink applies to all the Moon boys. Well, because they share a body and uses one dick.

Marc just loves pressing against you. He's pretty experimental with the positions. Aftercare with Marc is just heavenly. Bubble bath, washing your body with a loofa. But then he gets turned on again and fucks you in the bath.

You could exist and just breathe, Marc will get turned on (like Nathan tbh).

Jonathan Levy... ugh dilf. An actual one. Expect a long one (tw: mentions mira)

Usually it's the teacher-student love affair with this guy (tbh real) but seriously you can treat him better than Mira.

Something about you keeps driving him crazy to the point that Episode 4 and 5 of the show didn't happen 💅💅

He sees that you're absolutely nothing like his ex wife. And he loves the breath of fresh air. You loved all the things Mira hated about him.

Jonathan loves it when you cup his face and just stare into his eyes. Loves it when you pack him his lunch and put in notes. Brags about it a lot with his co-workers.

Just imagine being in love with him since childhood, being broken hearted when he married Mira, but one drunken night he realized he shouldn't have been chasing after Mira and turned to look at you. You finally had him.

His daughter adores you. Jonathan sees you being so good with children and he immediately goes "I want one with you."

Breeding kink dude. This guy obviously has one. He loves children. (Personally i would give him a football team because he deserves it) when you do get pregnant, he would be so caring and attentive. You're pregnant with his baby so obviously he would spoil you non stop. He would just smile at you whenever you get mood swings and start to get annoyed when he chews too loud.

Just a lot of fucking. Shower, bed, walls, even inside closets. He just adores you. He couldn't believe he was so blind not to see how much you've loved him and he would spend the rest of his life making it up to you.

"Jon, too tired..."

"Need you so bad, hun... just a few more, please? Wanna cum in you again..."

Mira hates you, but since you're you, you always one-up her and you two may or may not have gotten into a fight and Jonathan found you more attractive since then.

You become possessive of Jonathan whenever Mira's around, but Jonathan actually finds it really hot. Expect more than one round of sex with him on those days.

He never cheats on you even if Mira keeps pushing it. You were one of a kind, Jonathan knew how broken-hearted you would be if he did. Jonathan would purposely treat you like a lady in front of Mira, 100 times more than he usually does (which is impossible he already treats you so well)

Just... you make him a better person. You got him on a leash. He's not going anywhere.

Also he definitely loves risky sex. House filled with guests and you two are in the bathroom. He would even make you moan loudly that it'll annoy Mira who is passing by the bathroom. You enjoyed it when Mira's pissed off. You just hate her so much.

Steven oh Steven. Just imagine trying to seduce Steven, and he's just clueless and continues to ramble on about Egyptian history and all, but you're trying to fuck him.

You want him to clear his table of books and just slam you on the table to fuck you. You go back to reality and he's smiling innocently at you as he kept talking.

You just hear nothing. His voice sounded muffled to you as your eyes scanned his face and stops on his nose... his nose.

Big noses. What Doja Cat said.

"Steven."

"Yes, love?"

"I want you to fuck me right now."

Soft sex with Steven. He doesn't want any position but missionary. He loves seeing your face.

Breeding kink? Yes. You all know this by now.

Falls silent when he cums, eyes rolling to the back of his head. It feels so overwhelming but so good. Loves filling you up to the brim.

Sometimes when you leave a pair of panties out, he would fight the urge to jack off to them. He just misses you so so much.

When you come back, he would push you against the wall and attack you with kisses and hickeys.

He also buys you a matching Koala plush keychain for your keys.

Sometimes you just want him to fuck you mercilessly, just slam you around and use you. UGH IM SCREAMING.

And back to the nose thing, he definitely let you grind on his nose at some point.

"C'mon, love... wanna taste you..."

Something about him nerding out just turns you on. You would suck his dick while he's talking. Even after cumming, you don't stop. You love seeing him overstimulated.

They say home is where the heart is. But god do you love the english 💅💅💅

Did he restrain you to his bed at some point? You told him to. And it unlocked a kink.

But do you know what kink Steven would have? Worship. Take it or leave it.

Messy kisses, his light colored shirts are stained with your lipstick. He ends up with his neck filled with hickeys. His back is scarred by your nails.

Risky sex? Fucking in the museum bathroom. Steven looked so hot behind the gift shop that you couldn't help it. Steven's dad material too, talks to kids really well.

So yeah that's when your breeding kink appeared. You wanted him to get you pregnant. He would be a great father.

"Cum inside me, Stevie. Fill me up."

Loves sucking on your tit while groping the other. He wants to make eye contact with you as much as he could while he does it.

Bree- *gunshots*

This one is obvious though. He has a breeding kink and wants to get you pregnant.

Let's pretend Gabriella's alive here and he sees how good you are with her. He wants to have a bigger family with you.

"Gabby said she wants a sibling..."

Yeah. That's when you know, non stop breeding. Even when you're not even ovulating, he just fills you up. He wants to get you pregnant and see how good you look pregnant.

When you start lactating even before you give birth, he'd suck them out. He didn't want to waste good milk.

He treats you like a gentleman but at the same time you want him to slam you down and fuck you.

He's an old fashioned lover boy, romantic dinner and flowers. Gabriella has a babysitter while you two go on a date. She thinks you two are really perfect for each other. She draws you two a lot and you put them on the fridge.

"Daddy, I saw mommy kissing Spider-Man."

You two choked on your breakfast. Miguel hasn't told her yet about him being Spider-Man. He looks at you and smirks.

"Oh, did she?"

Prepare for a long night of degradation. Pulling your hair and jackhammering into you.

"Such a slut, huh?"

"Dumbass, you're Spider-Man. You can't call me a slut for kissing my husband."

He just fucks you harder. Miguel does get tired easily and lets you ride him.

Just... yes. And yes, he does bite you.

[elliespassagerprincess]

heyy could you write something based on Dark Red by Steve Lacy?

i love all your works btw

Dark red - (ellie williams x reader)

hi poookie!! thank you sm!! i hope you don't mind me writing this as a gore story, I've been writing a lot of fluff recently and i missed my violent stories, but if you want me to write a different version just let me know!!! i hope you enjoy <33

This story is based off the song Dark Red by Steve Lacy, if you can please listen to the song while you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

HUGE warning: murder, kidnapping, being held hostage, dead bodies, violence

Summary: in which she wanted you to herself

masterlist

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know what, but I feel it coming

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

I just hope she don't wanna leave me"

Something bad was going to happen. Ellie could feel it in her bones. She doesn't know why she feels this way, but ever since she woke up this morning, she's been filled with dread. A heaviness in her gut she can't shake off.

Ellie sat at her desk, anxiously waiting for the bell to ring. She hasn't been home for the last 3 days because of school spirit week.

Ellie was so pissed off when she heard they were having a camping day, a sleepover and a all nighter back to back. Everyone was complaining that they were exhausted due to all the activities happening at school, but Ellie wasn't thinking about sleep.

She was thinking about you.

She was always thinking about you.

Ellie could see everyone was staring at the clock, they were practically counting down the seconds before the bell rang. They wanted to go home.

Ellie wanted to go home too, she needed to get home to you.

5, 4, 3, 2-

Before the bell rang the intercom went off. The students groaned thinking that they had to stay at school for another day.

"Can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office. Ellie Williams. I repeat, can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office"

fuck.

The bell rang soon after and everyone ran to the door, Ellie watched as they ran like animals.

"Fucking idiots" she thought to herself

She waited till most of the kids were gone, before she got up grabbing her bag and slowly making her way to the office.

She knocked on the door, and she heard a small "come in".

She let out a sigh as she reluctantly pushed open the door and she was greeted by a the principal and a detective.

What the fuck?

"Close the door and sit down" the principal instructed.

As she sat down her heartrate increased. Her ears were ringing, her palms were sweaty.

The detective cleared his throat before he spoke "as you know y/n has been missing for 3 months now"

She nods

"after further investigation, it seems you were the last one seen with her"

"Was i really or are you looking for someone to blame?" Ellie asked with a raised brow.

She knew where you were, but she couldn't tell him that.

"Ms Williams you're under suspension of kidnapping"

Ellies fists clench by her sides "why am i? Just because i was last seen with her?"

"You guys were best friends, many people said you were close, some say you where obsessed"

Oh she was mad. Ellie was really mad. She wasn't obsessed, she just cared about you.

"i wasn't" she said through gritted teeth.

"We think you know where she is"

Ellie got up, her fist hitting the table "so you're accusing an underage child of kidnapping? do i look like I'm capable of doing that?"

"Ms Williams-"

"no"

Ellie turned to the door and she stormed out. She walked out of the building rushing home to see you.

She hoped you didn't leave her.

"Don't you give me up, please don't give up

On me, I belong with you and only you, baby

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you"

They weren't wrong about what ellie had done to you.

But she had to do it! How else was she supposed to keep you to herself?

Ellie always has feelings for you. Ever since you shyly asked her for a pencil in year 8, she's been all over you. As the years went by her fondness towards you grew, you made her blush, you made her giggle, you made her so fucking happy.

Overtime the two of you built a good friendship but Ellie always wanted more.

It was a Thursday, the sun was shining and the two of had a science project to finish.

The homecoming dance was getting closer and she wanted to ask you. Ellie thought this was the perfect moment to ask you.

"So....with who are you going to homecoming?" Ellie asked clearing her throat

"oh Dina asked me"

"what did you say?"

"I said yes, i think Dina is cute"

No no no no no no no

Not her. You belong to her. You were hers. Not Dina. You were supposed to go with her.

No no no no no

"Ellie?" You asked with concern seeing her zoned out expression.

Ellie looked at you briefly before her hands wrapped around your neck. You let out a silent scream trying to scratch her. You tried fighting but you couldn't. Ellie was stronger than you, she was bigger too.

Eventually you went limp in her hands.

Heavy breaths left Ellie's mouth.

You were still breathing. Good.

She dragged you to her house, hiding behind bushes once in a while to make sure no one saw her. She dragged you into her house, and into her basement.

Ellie placed your body onto the cold floor and she watched you breathing faintly.

Now you cant go with Dina.

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way, I don't know maybe

I think of her so much, it drives me crazy

What if she's fine?

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long"

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just having bad thoughts. Ellie has always had a tendency to overthink things.

She knew it was bad to overthink but she was always prepared for the worst.

When Ellie first kidnapped you, 3 months ago everything was fine.

You never screamed, you never fought back, you always tried negotiating or escaping which was good because she didn't need to tie you up or gag you.

You made things easy for her. Ellie fed you, she kept you company, she tried to be Dina.

She really tried to keep you happy.

You didn't need Dina, you needed her.

But for the last month you've been very sick. You barley spoke, you barley ate, you barley moved.

There was something wrong with you, she just didn't know what it was.

Since she hasn't been home for 3 days, Ellie didn't know if you would still be alive. There was no one to feed you. No one to talk to you. You were all alone.

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just overthinking it.

Her house key rattled as she pushed open the door. She quickly made her way to the basement, unlocking the door. She walked down the stairs quietly calling your name.

You didn't say anything. She didn't see any movement. she slowly made her way to the bed she had made for you and there you were.

Your skin was pale, cold and it was turning blue. You weren't breathing.

Ellie let out a sigh as she gently grabbed your body, hugging you, not caring of the smell.

Atleast Dina cant get to you.

You were hers. You were safe. You were ok. You now only belong to her.

<3

[maddenleftchat]

I was hit with an idea and I am not sorry for sharing it :]

Okay, so, headcanons for c!Dream with a ghost darling who, after their death, only remembers their relationship as a normal one and not the terrifying yandere relationship it was. They become unnaturally loyal to him and will listen to everything he tells them, to the point where of he told them to isolate themself, they’ll do that. He wants them to fight back a bit? They’ll fight back a bit. They completely devote themself to him, unlike their alive self who was terrified. Would he prefer the ghost!darling, or would he use the revive book (assuming he has it) to bring back alive!darling?

- 👑

Ah yes 👑 is back with great ideas. Love this btw!

Triggers: unhealthy relationships, reader being used, manipulative behavior, possessive behavior, reader being seen as an object, mentions of highly toxic relationship, and yandere like behaviors. PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN READING!

Enjoy

Dream

When you died, Dream felt like a little part of him died as well.

He didn't know how to react.

So he just kind of shut himself away from the world for a long time.

No one on the smp heard from him for months.

He wouldn't cry, or anything.

Dream just felt void, he would stare blankly at walls for hours while holding a shirt that used to belong to you.

He would probably sleep in a shirt or yours, and if your shirt was too small he would just curl around it.

He would mindlessly wander around his house looking at all the pictures he had of you.

~

It took you a while to get out of the spirit world and to find Dream, but you did.

You did know why you wanted to find this man so bad.

But you did know that you used to have some sort of relationship with this man.

You didn't remember what the relationship was like, but you did remember his eyes.

You remembered the way he looked at you with such a loving gaze.

But you didn't remember your expression in those moments and how you cried to be let go.

But as you came upon the house you barely remember, with it sitting in the middle of a thick forest.

You remembered little glimpses of it, that was the only thing that helped you identify your destination.

And when you got to the door you knocked.

No reply.

Knock, knock.

No reply.

Knock, knock. But this time it was a bit harder.

No reply.

POUND, knock.

The door finally swung open in an angry manner.

This made you flinch.

But when you looked to see who opened the door, your eyes lit up when you saw him.

Standing in front of you was a shocked Dream.

He looked at you in disbelief.

"(Name)..."

"Dream!"

You spoke with such sincerity as you hugged Dream.

He wouldn't hug back at first.

He just stood there shocked.

Why were you hugging him?

Didn't you hate him?

Didn't you want to rip his gut out?

Or at least that's one of the last things you said to him when you were alive…

Confusion least his mind, but along with that was happiness.

At first he thought this was one sick joke.

But soon you convinced him to let you come inside so you can explain things.

~

And you explained to him how you came back from the spirit world and had very little memory of your mortal life.

And the very first thing to cross Dream's mind when hearing this was, "How can I use this to my advantage?"

Immediately his mind was flooded with the different ideas, and he just looked at you as you talked.

"So...with me missing my memories and all..I wanted to see if we can try things again…"

He was knocked from his thoughts, "Huh-try again? Yes of course!"

You smiled and then said the sentence that would set the rest of your after life in stone.

"Really?! I'm so glad! I'll do everything you want me to!"

~

From there on out, Dream used you, constantly.

Anytime he wanted something done for him, you did it.

Everytime he wanted information on people, you did it.

He didn't want to make food?

You do it.

Didn't want to clean?

You do it.

And if he feels like you're talking to people too much, he'll tell you to stop.

And….

You will.

You're there for his every beckoning and call.

You reminded him of a little puppy.

And he loved it.

You were so much more loyal, and he wouldn't change a thing.

So if he had the choice to revive you, he would throw that damn book out.

~

In short: Try to remember all the shit that Dream did to you in the after life. Otherwise you're no longer a being to him. But more of a toy.

Word count: 661

_________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

[ishouldwrites0mething]

hi guys !! I'm clay / florence and I go by they them sos.

Uhh, besides English I also speak. German. (I'm fluent so uh joa könnt deutsch reden tbh HELP) AND IM. leaning Spanish and French

MY INTERESTS. Change every 3 days but I'll still list some

Pls pls interact with me PLS PLS INTERACT W ME !!!! PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS pls interact with me. Please.

,, HANNIBAL. IM SO OBSESSED W HANNIBAL AT THE MOMENT ITS SO GOOD PLEASE TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE A HANNIBAL FAN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

,, persona 5 (I love akechi I love akehcitiloevrak3cgci)

,, your turn to die (I WANT THE LAST CHAPTER RN!!!!!! I love. Ranmaru tbh????)

,, percy jackson (i'm trying to get the the the other books outside of. The 5 percy jackson ones but I don't have money help)

,, the sandman (I DONT HAVE MONEY SO I've only watvhed the show so far BUT ITS SO GOOD I LOVE THW SANDMAN)

,, star wars ; specifically andor.( Andor is so good. I wanna talk about nemik. Andor fans INTERACT!!)

,, ride the cyclone (my main tumblr is literally. A noel acc.)

,, mob psycho 100 (reigen should've been tumblr sexyman)

,, ayakashi akashi (I feel like some og because I had an ayakashi akashi acc on Instagram when there were like only 5 fans on that app)

,, link click (haven't finished it but it's sooo good )

UHM UHM. I do read some mangas???? I like. Blue Period a lot.

BTW I haven't finished daredevil but pls pls pls I love it

I've also watched. Almost every marvel movie and show I think sos. I LOVE MOON KNIGHT OTS SO GOOD

And hi to the German speaking tumblr community and to the German speaking tumblr community only

I LOVE TUBECLASH!!!! Please interact with me if you've also read one exit???? I HAVENT MET ANY FANS YET but I love it TUBECLASH IS SO GOOD

I also wanna talk about. Julien Bam videos pls.

Drei ???. Das ist der Shit alter literally so gut.

When it comes to music I. I. I. I. I. I listen to.

.

.

.

.

.

The smiths.

.

.

.

.

.

AND GREEN DAY!!!!!!!

And will wood

Pls also talk about books with me I LOVE BOOKW I love the secret history

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[th3-z0diac]

How I Make Aesthetics.

Long post ahead, sorry :(

In the past, I've been asked multiple times how I create my aesthetics and where do I get the best pictures for them, so I figured I'd make this master post of what exactly I do. Btw this is coming from a person who has studied graphic design for 4 years and had about 4 years of experience in making zodiac collages here on tumblr. Do what you want with that information.

A few disclaimers

There are different types of aesthetics and in this post, I'm going to be specifically talking about a certain type that I like to make. Here, examples:

My most used format is 6 pictures in 3 rows, but I've also tried 4 pictures, like here for example:

There are other types such as minimalistic photos, dark academia, grunge, and SO many more. Please keep in mind that I'm not hating on these types and when I mention a rule such as don't use photos that are too minimalistic, I am not saying that minimalistic aesthetics are wrong or ugly or anything of that sort!

Just because I don't choose a certain photo doesn't mean I don't like it, it just means that the photo is not exactly what I'm looking for. By me showing you the examples below, I'm just trying to paint a picture. No hate here, okay?

I don't own any of the pictures I use (I've only used like one or two of my own photos in the past) but then again this is just for entertainment, I don't make money doing this or anything. If I ever get a message from an owner of any of these photos and they want me to delete it, I will delete it.

Where to get the photos

Pinterest! Period. AHAHAHA

No but seriously, pinterest and tumblr are my two favorite sources and you will find pretty much exactly what you need there. pinterest specifically.

On tumblr, I usually search for hipster, grunge, indie, and nature, but it also helps to just find specific blogs that focus on photography, follow them and then just download anything from your dashboard that you fancy.

I'll share what I search for on pinterest below👇. My secret tip would be to not always go for the first photo you find but rather to open a picture that sorta has what you like in it and then scroll down, because pinterest is going to recommend you similar, sometimes better fitting photos. On tumblr, I sometimes go to the blog of the person whose one photo I like, and there I tend to find many more of the same kind (since these bloggers usually post a specific kind of aesthetic).

How to choose photos

My number one tip would be to seek texture. Avoid photos that have little going on in them and anything too empty or minimalistic (unless that's what you're aiming for, obviously). Also, don't choose pictures that are very light or very dark, as they tend to stand out in aesthetics and that's not really what you want. At least in the type of aesthetics that I make, I want the final product to be almost a new picture in itself if that makes sense. To show you an example, look at this photo of two sleeping cats:

This photo seems like a good fit; it is well balanced in colours (there are shades of white, beige/ginger as well as some greens) and c'mon, it's two cats, what more do you need!!! However, let's look at it in a complete aesthetic:

While this aesthetic has a nice color scheme to it (well, it doesn't, I threw it together super quickly, but you get the gist), the photo of the two cats just stands out because the khaki background creates this kind of block of color that your eye will automatically go to and it sort of breaks the collage apart. So, by texture, I mean that a picture is filled, for example with trees, flowers, architecture, little people in the background, etc., etc. Furthermore, I prefer when there are more things photographed (for instance, look at the first picture of the aesthetic above; it has a mirror (and a tiny person in it), architecture and leaves all in one picture)

Next, personality. Go to Google Images and search 'Nature Photography' or 'Sunset Photos'. You might get something like this:

Or this:

Look at this absolute angel of a boy💚💚💚💚💚💚Isn't he the cutest freaking thing you've ever seen?????? I just want to give him all the treats and all the pets and — ...ehm, sorry, that's not why we're here.

So I don't quite know how to explain this point, but I guess usually professional photos like this are just so well done that they work perfectly well on their own and you usually don't put them in a set (only with other photos from the same photoshoot maybe). They're obviously well-balanced color-wise and high in quality, but they're just very individual and don't really need any addition in the form of other photos. This point also applies to the previous one (textures, in case you forgot); for example, a bunch of blueberries creates a nice texture, however it might be difficult to pair them with other photos. They have enough personality on their own (and this is not meant in a bad way to the photos I do use).

Related to this, you're looking for a story. Usually, if a photo gives off a certain vibe, tells a story, or just leaves any kind of strong impression, it might be a good indication that this is a good photo to use (given all the other rules as well, of course).

The main themes I search for are:

cities, villages, or abandoned places

related to that — architecture or only parts (details) of it

nature, specifically forests with either road or a body of water nearby, beaches, deserts and so on. plus points for tiny people in the distance

animals, usually with the addition of maybe the texture of a sweater sleeve or some blankets, something of that sort

people, my favorite kind is people turned away from the camera with an interesting background, because by them not having a face, they become a bit more relatable in a sense?

people in a river or some kind of water

museums, sculptures

etc.

Usually, I tend to avoid:

photos with text in it (though as an exception I would mention neon signs or letters/words that are for example above shops, on books, etc.)

heavily filtered pictures

photos with very specific (often bold) colors in them, unless you find multiple photos with that same shade. this again distracts the eye too much

GIFs, animated pictures, illustrations/drawings. also, don't use collages (cause you are creating a collage, duh)

black & white pictures

blurred pictures (or those that are purposely grainy — that goes back to the filters above)

anything obviously photoshopped

When trying to figure out where to put each photo

Squint your eyes. The photos should create a nice harmony, there shouldn't be a corner where it gets too light or dark or where some textures blend together, for example, if using multiple flower patterns, try to place them in different corners.

When to know your aesthetic is done

Actually even before you start, you should be in the mood. I have to admit, there have been times where I've felt pressured into making aesthetics, and now, looking back at them, I'm really ashamed of them. That is why I don't always post aesthetics as soon as I get them requested because I genuinely want them to look good.

Sometimes, it helps to not post the aesthetic straight away but to come back to it later with a fresh look. I'd say go with your gut. You should have a good, satisfying feeling about the aesthetic.

Last note

Rules are meant to be broken. Look at the aesthetic below. I used a minimalistic illustration (two birds with one stone I guess) (and admittedly, that one picture does stand out) and yet the aesthetic still came out pretty nice. So, just play around with your ideas and see what you like the most! I'm just a random person on the internet, you literally don't have to listen to any of the tips I gave you here today.

I know this might seem like a lot (honestly, if you've read this entire thing, you're crazy), but it gets easier and easier with practice, soon you won't even think about it.

Hopefully these tips will help you and please let me know if you decide to make any aesthetics. I would love to see them!! <3

[apricot-tarot]

Hey there! :)

Congratulations on 200 follower's!

Can I please participate in your game? Been your follower for awhile, you're awesome! So happy for you!

My initials are R.A. and I'm a Taurus. I turned 22 recently.

Three things I love would be apples, sunsets and scorpios :3

I am a she/her and I'm into he/him.

I would love a letter from my future spouse :)

Thank you so much for hosting this game, it sounds hella fun! ❤💕

Take care of yourself! Can't wait for more PAC's!

Hellooo🧡 thank you for your support and thank you for participating in the ask game. I know you have been following me for a while now and I always notice when you interact🥰😘. You also suggested a pac idea to me which I have in my drafts. I have tagged you, done with the picking pile images...but I have not done the actual reading *sigh*

Btw, apples and sunsets sounds very Taurean but what is up with scorpios lol, maybe it is the fixed energy or smth.

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only.

Here is your reading. Also, check the notes in the end.

Enjoy ✨

King of Pentacles, Ten of Swords(Rx), Empress, The Lovers

Love of my life,

I am ambitious, abundant and secure but inside I still hold my grudges and my suffering. I have recovered from them but my mind still dwells sometimes. They have taught me a lot but I can't help but think that I could have done without those painful experiences. I don't want you to see that side of me, the hurt man. I always wanted you to see me as dependable and successful. Showing that other side of me was not something I wanted to do. You have to remember that I will always be someone you can lean on. I will provide for you. I want to share what I have accomplished. What is mine is also yours. I want to live a comfortable life with the woman I love.

In moments like these ones, I remember how whipped I have always been for you. I want you to know that I worship you. You need to know that. Never forget it. I try to show it to you, especially when it's only us losing ourselves in the desires of the flesh. From the beginning I had a hard time hiding my attraction for you and I am happy I did not dismiss any of those feelings I had. I pursued it till the end. You nurture my soul. I will forever be loyal to you and our commitment. You make me feel whole. I think we were always meant to be. Life would have found a way to bring us together sooner or later.

Song: Un Bonito Final by The Rebujitos. It's all in Spanish so search it up on Youtube with the eng subs. No shufflemancy used.

Notes: The song came to mind before I had actually even pulled the cards. So, this is entirely my "intuition" or gut feeling. I just had to "accompany" your letter to this song. The song is also very reminiscent with theme of writing letters. At some point, he will probably want a love a letter from you 😂 For others (at least till now) the song I have recommended was like a soundtrack for when they read the card. That kind of idea. For you, it is more like an extension of the "reading". This is why I am putting it in the end, so you do not listen to the song while you read the letter.

This also took a bit of a hot and steamy twist in the second half. I tried to keep the language "clean" but if you think you are reading too much between the lines...well you are not lol.

Please do not forget to send me some feedback. Tell me anything that comes to mind...what resonated, what did not, what you liked etc.

[kookieskiwi]

Hi! Can I request ot7 mafia au! x reader with the situasion of panic attack "we're here baby take a breath for us". Kookieskiwi I hope you're doing well btw I like your new drabble and I'm in love with it and its make me want more Im sorry 😭. I love you 😘💜

(Akbdiandhe I screamed when I got this notification ❤️ I’m doing really good, thank you for your concern 🥺💕 i try really hard to write things my readers want to read so I’m extremely happy that you liked my recent Drabble 🥺✨ don’t apologize for wanting more! You have no idea how happy it makes me to write for you guys ❤️ and even more so when it’s because you liked one of my previous works so much! I love you so much more and remember ‘you nice keep going’ my lovely 💜😘🤩)

This is the last Drabble they are referring to btw

WARNING: MENTIONS OF A PANIC ATTACK AND MURDER, if these topics are triggering for you I suggest you don’t read this!

-

Today wasn’t a good day for you at all. The boys left before you had even woken up for a deal they had been planning for months now leaving you to spend the entire day alone. You understood they were business men of sorts and with that occupation came ungodly hours of work which often left you alone. But being alone wasn’t that much of a problem because you always had contact with the boys somehow wether it be a simple text message or a quick phone call.

But now, in the early hours of the next morning when you hadn’t heard from them all day; you weren’t okay at all. You kept your phone near you at all times; when you showered, went to the bathroom, cooked dinner for all of you only to put the rest in the fridge, but ultimately you did nothing but lay around the house hoping to hear a ‘ding’ from your phone which never came.

They had been gone for 24 hours without a single word. From midnight to three am you had been calling guards and those who worked under them in case they had any knowledge of their whereabouts but all came back negative. They had been gone for days before but never without checking in every few hours or so to let you know they were okay. Sometimes it was simply a heart emoji or a ‘love you’ which was enough to let you know they were okay.

“Are you sure you haven’t heard anything from them?” You asked one of their subordinates from the agency. “No ma’am, the last we heard from them was right before they left. We’ve been searching everywhere and hacking into security footage around town but they’re good at what they do, they won’t be found easily.” He responded telling you everything you already knew. They were the best of the best when it came to everything including secrecy. Which was great, until now.

“Thank you Soobin, please keep an ear and eye out in case you see or hear anything from them.” You told him sighing, “will do Noona, until then please don’t make any rash decisions. Stay home and if they don’t check in within the next few hours I’ll send someone to get you and bring you to the HQ.” He informed you of his plan which you agreed to easily, it’d be much better being alone with people around as odd as that may seem. You were alone without the loves of your life and without knowing if they were okay or not.

It was now 5 am and they hadn’t checked in with anyone and no one knew of their whereabouts. You tried holding in your tears as the gut wrenching feeling that something had gone wrong hit it was hard not to let a tear fall. Trekking up the stairs to your shared bedroom you didn’t want to see the empty bed so you walked slowly hoping that before you got to the top of the stairs they would come rushing through the door and they’d be safe in your arms once again.

You were tired and worried which was never a good mix for you. The fear of losing the ones you loved the most got to you on the last step of the staircase before you came tumbling down both emotionally and physically. You tried clutching onto the railing to keep you stabilized but it failed as your body crumpled onto the stairs curling yourself into a ball and you resting your head in your hands.

Your stomach felt as if it you were one a roller coaster at the tip top before it fell. The anxiety you had build up during the day was the roller coaster and the falling was you right now. All the way to rock bottom. Your sobs filled the room while you tried to comfort yourself by curling even further into your own body. “Please let them be okay, god please.” You prayed knowing it was the only thing you could do now besides wait. The simple thought of them not making it back home was enough to throw you into a downward spiral.

Ringing in your ears began to drown out the sound of your own cries and please that you were no longer controlling. Your head began to ache with a fuzz which clouded your thoughts and filled your head. Your throat was on fire from crying, you were shaking like a leaf in the wind, you couldn’t hear anything but the blood thrumming through your veins but none of that mattered. No, all that mattered to you was your boys who weren’t here and that was the worst part.

Clutching your pounding head you tried breathing but you couldn’t, you couldn’t do anything but lie there letting yourself fade into your own emotions. Your chest ached as if your heart had physically shattered from the agony of not knowing and knowing you were helpless in this situation.

“Please be okay, please come home to me. I promise to love you for the rest of our lives, I love you all so much God please let them come back home.” You pleaded with your eyes screwed shut. You felt like you were drowning in your own tears, the inability to catch your breath being the main factor in this feeling but your whole body felt under some sort of pressure.

That was until you felt a much heavier pressure on top of that, the numbness you had felt overcome your body slowly went away with the ringing in your ears which allowed you to come to an understanding of what exactly that pressure was.

A person.

Opening your eyes you tried to see but everything was blurry, your tears kept falling no matter how hard you tried to stop. “We’re here baby. Take a breath for us please.” It was Yoongi. Your Yoongi. And he said ‘We’re’ meaning they are all home. Choking on your sobs once again you reach out to him and anyone near you to hold them as close as possible.

“You’re- home.” You sobbed into his chest as him arms reached around you to pull you further into his embrace. You let everything else out in tears of relief. They were home. Alive. Safe. The more you cried the less intense your sobs got and the more you could breath even though it was still hard to regulate your body. “Please never do that again.” Your voice cracked as you squeezed Jimin’s hand in yours sighing but still hiccuped as you tried to calm down.

“We won’t baby. I promise because we are retiring from that job.” Namjoon told you coming close to your face to wipe the tears away, he held your face between his calloused hands which you leaned into, craving to feel him; all of them. “W-what?” You asked confused, you thought you heard correctly but you weren’t sure. After coming down from such an intense panic attack you didn’t know what was real and what was part of your imagination. “We are here, for there rest of out lives. Just you and us. No more late night jobs, no more trades that make us leave for days, none of it anymore. Just us, settling down and staring the family we’ve always wanted.” He explained further making you want to sob even more knowing all your nights of worrying were coming to an end.

You couldn’t help but let a few more tears slip as you smile at them, crying now from the sheer thought of having all of them home safe and sound. “I love you all so much, I was so scared.” You told them shutting your eyes closed once again to cry a little more. “I’m so sorry baby, we were ambushed and we lost all connection with you and the agency. We couldn’t risk them finding our home, finding you, so we hide and we couldn’t contact anyone in fear they had the entire city’s phone system tapped to listen in.” Hoseok told you helping you stand up on your shaky legs only for him to pick you up like a koala and to have you cling to him for dear life.

“Did you kill them? Because if you didn’t I will.” You mumbled looking at the six others who followed behind Hoseok as he walked with you in his arms to the bedroom. They all let out a simultaneous chuckle and you could feel the warmth re-enter your body at the sound. These were the men you loved and lived for. “We did baby, don’t worry.” Taehyung told you with his signature boxy smile as if you weren’t just talking about murder making you giggle.

Hoseok laid you on the bed softly and kept you in his embrace as the others changed and showered before handing you to Jin who kissed all over your face as he helped you shower and relax by massaging you with the bath oils and soap.

After everyone was cleaned and dressed you were tucked into bed between all of your lovers but sandwiched between Jungkook and Jimin. You were in the bed that would no longer be empty when you woke up for went to sleep because you’d have your lovers right beside you for the rest of your life. And you couldn’t be happier at the thought of that.

“What do you say about getting married?”

-

...I’m smelling an epilogue or part two if requested 😏 maybe some brief baby making on their honeymoon?

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you left your headphones here, mate Jimmy: got 'em in my pocket if you wanna collect Jimmy: wouldn't subject you to Cass' interrogation tactics Jimmy: better off buying new, rich girl Janis: yeah, realized when I went to start this run Janis: already in Twix's bad books so can't have that, like Janis: drop in and get 'em in a few Jimmy: 💔 on the rocks already you two? Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: stay for breakfast if you want Janis: Are now, like Janis: How to explain with a look that you can't take her out 'cos you tryna be 🤐 tragic misunderstanding Janis: [pic of protein shake thing] 👍 Jimmy: did try & let her know my dad was in the mood to do you for dogknapping but Jimmy: she ain't the sharpest pup at the park Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Rude Janis: she got plenty of potential Jimmy: where? Janis: 🙄 Janis: she got as much as you in her right paw, like, don't be rude Jimmy: says you as you're then snide to me 👌 Jimmy: you know my smoothies are 💣 & so my future is set Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: gotta stand up for my girl ain't I Jimmy: 💪 Jimmy: who took her out? she best remember that 🥇 Janis: didn't know you cared 💕 Janis: can handle the competition okay Jimmy: nah, you'll be 💔 when she's only got 😍 for me Jimmy: especially 'cause I don't care, double blow 🎻 Janis: Scandalous Janis: hitting her up with the screenshots as we speak Jimmy: no secret, babe Jimmy: go on Janis: Poor bitch Janis: #youdeservebetterhun Jimmy: shoulda fought the law, Juliet Jimmy: reckon you'd have gotten pretty far with her before the take down Janis: Appreciate the faith Janis: but as I didn't even make it out the door without being #exposed Janis: idk Jimmy: Just by the 🐶 though? Janis: Nah, your Dad had to share how full of the joys he was this AM, like Jimmy: sorry Janis: ain't your fault Janis: and no big Jimmy: I invited you & he's my dad so as much as it can be, it is Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just accept the apology Janis: alright Janis: might wanna tell him i'm not a prozzie though, just look like one Jimmy: did he say that? Janis: No, nah, 'course not Janis: just 👀s Jimmy: then don't be a dickhead Jimmy: he knows you're my girlfriend Janis: just joking Jimmy: funny Janis: gotta laugh Jimmy: nah Jimmy: join me in misery Janis: that bad? Jimmy: just joking Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: when you working 'til today Jimmy: 3 Jimmy: why? Janis: just working out when i can drop in to get my headphones Jimmy: I can give 'em to your sister Jimmy: she drops by at lunchtime like clockwork Janis: 😑 Janis: that would require talking to her Janis: for you and me Jimmy: I was reckoning more on a shove 'em at her & run Jimmy: gotta go on my break, soz gracie Janis: good 🍀 Janis: if she can read social cues at all she ignores them Jimmy: save me then, babe Jimmy: come yourself Janis: will do Janis: not lunchtime, obviously Janis: been summoned home anyway 🙄 Jimmy: you in the shit too? Jimmy: how #goals of us, Juliet Janis: truly Janis: it's only my dad, he ain't got no balls Jimmy: @ me in some shit to demonstrate our mutual pining like Jimmy: no way I'm allowed out until my dad's home at least Janis: figured Janis: least if you're effectively grounded no one waiting on that first date like Jimmy: he can't stop me taking the sibs & dog out but probably best if you don't show up too Janis: 👍 no problem Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: if you wanna keep it coupley, gonna have to be in work hours Janis: guess i got no excuse not to be there atm Janis: hmm Janis: i will show up at lunch, least we'll have a definite witness Janis: that'll keep 'em going Jimmy: they travel as a pack, we'll have 5 Jimmy: take some selfies, make a scene, go again. Easy, yeah? Janis: 🙄 such a fake bitch Jimmy: law of Leprechaun town Jimmy: got us in on it even Janis: least we're going for gold, what the fuck are you doing gracie Jimmy: least we know Mia's going for the throat Jimmy: god bless Janis: gonna have to go for yours Janis: don't take it personal Janis: no time for half-arsing it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: that's the #mood Jimmy: it'll piss my dad off too so sign me up Jimmy: more lasting you can make it, the better Janis: no amateur at either, babe Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I remember Janis: Yeah? Janis: told ya Jimmy: you tell me a lot of things, Judith Jimmy: so chatty you Janis: 🖕 Janis: be off then Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 'til lunch my love Janis: 💘 Janis: you know the deal, have something not shit waiting for me Jimmy: I'm already there, baby 💕 Janis: 😏 dickhead Jimmy: do you want food or you just gonna snack on me like you're channeling a mia move? Janis: she's not inspiration or goals Janis: can't have her reckoning that, ever Jimmy: #thinspo Janis: 😂 Janis: get me a bacon sarnie to fuck her off Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nowt sexy bout that but I'll 😍 best I can Janis: how rude Janis: what you want me to order, like u got anything phallic on the menu lads Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you'll have a straw with your smoothie, it's fine Janis: I've been forced to endure many a teeny romcom, it's fine Janis: know what to do, boy Jimmy: weren't doubting Jimmy: easy for you anyway, what am I gonna do? lick out a coffee lid suggestively? nah Janis: please do Janis: need a good laugh Jimmy: piss off Janis: still think you're cute, don't worry baby Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: shut up Jimmy: save it for when you can make me Jimmy: the audience will love that Janis: yeah expecting applause Jimmy: I'll take the hit when Mia throws her iced coffee Jimmy: workers comp Janis: Love that for her, if only you didn't take your coffee like a basic bitch, might have the desired effect Jimmy: only gonna make me look hotter, girl so tah Janis: who isn't about a wet t-shirt moment Jimmy: she helps me out loads for someone who reckons they're a #hater Janis: save your thanks for the acceptance speech Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not gonna thank her the way lads usually do Janis: #notliketherest is it? 😏 Jimmy: #standardsunliketherest Janis: If you say so Janis: me being your 'girlfriend' probably has 'em doubting that Jimmy: I had said it, loads Jimmy: Start listening, girl Jimmy: might stop you chatting shit for a sec Janis: Yeah yeah Janis: I heard ya Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: the manager's here Jimmy: in a bit Janis: 👍 laters Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [After] Janis: [Headphone selfie] Tah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [Selfie to show the general disheveled state of him after that glorious PDA] Jimmy: likewise Janis: 😳 Janis: worked though Jimmy: I didn't reckon Mia's voice could get this high Janis: Ha 😂 Janis: so pressed Jimmy: their debrief is the real show Jimmy: & you're missing it Janis: Gutted 💔 Janis: gimme the play by play Jimmy: nowt you ain't heard before I'm sure Jimmy: 🎻 & 🗡 Janis: usual then Janis: sure gracie will fill me in on how much of a bitch i am no worries 🙄 Jimmy: if she don't you didn't do enough Jimmy: you'll have to come back Janis: yeah? doubt that was her shout somehow 😏 Jimmy: let me know Janis: If you think I'm letting her dictate 'round 2 you got the wrong twin Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Yeah, be sure to tell her how gutted you are about that Janis: love to get it #confirmed Jimmy: you're alright Janis: can't say i didn't try Jimmy: nobody can Jimmy: not after that display Janis: too much? Jimmy: nah Jimmy: it was spot on Janis: 🥇 Janis: no need to come back then Jimmy: unless you wanna smack Mia Jimmy: I'd be down to see that Janis: Perv Janis: and 'course I do but her bones might legit crumble and I don't need to get sued by Daddy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know babe Jimmy: more gutted I can't accidentally dump this order on the lot of 'em anyway Janis: can't even be mad Janis: #thecouplethathatestogether Janis: I legit couldn't stick another second of them Jimmy: I know babe Jimmy: A lesser ego would think you were desperate to get away from me, but not this one Janis: Thank God you're you 💘 Janis: can't be dealing with stroking egos and destroying others in one Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Love you too Janis: when will your dad forgive you/me enough Janis: wanna see twix, like Jimmy: He doesn't get back til 6.30 Jimmy: usually later Janis: so, between the hours of 6.30-6.30, she's all mine? Janis: well, share with the kids, not a total heartless cow Jimmy: yeah Janis: good to know Jimmy: not gonna stand in the way of #truelove am I? Janis: try it Jimmy: ain't got the energy today, darling Janis: 😏 Janis: oh colour me surprised Jimmy: you shouldn't be Jimmy: you know how I slept Janis: i know Janis: he was alright though once you went in with him yeah Jimmy: after a bit Janis: 👍 good stuff Janis: consolation i didn't sleep all that good either Jimmy: like I said, join me in misery Jimmy: you should drink coffee Janis: why are you trying to ruin me Jimmy: says the girl trying to kill me by any means she can Janis: You asked for it Jimmy: 😱 Jimmy: # something relevant for me 'bout that Janis: not blaming or shaming Janis: but you can't fool me, babe Janis: #youwantit Jimmy: #busted Jimmy: 😍💕 Janis: didn't know you were arty Janis: btw Jimmy: why would you? Janis: idk, feel like i shoulda guessed Janis: #softboi Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: now really piss off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😑 Janis: 'scuse me Janis: giving you a compliment Jimmy: save it for when you can gimme one that matters Jimmy: just doing my bit Janis: Fussy Jimmy: what? Janis: My compliment not good enough 😜 Jimmy: gimme a better one then Jimmy: 'cause that's bollocks Jimmy: it's just a doodle not even that #goals Janis: can say my standards ain't high as yours then Janis: whatever, boy Jimmy: give & you take 💔 Janis: You're prettier than you've drawn yourself Janis: happy? Jimmy: you're prettier than I've drawn you Jimmy: shit artist Janis: ugh stop Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: you first Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Cute Jimmy: tell me something I don't know, Jennifer Janis: Alright Janis: I wish I could come back Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: Lots of reasons Janis: they're still there, for one Jimmy: that's a point in the 'why you should' column Jimmy: don't leave me with 'em Janis: poor baby Janis: but I don't know if I can chill Jimmy: we don't chill Jimmy: so fine Janis: you gotta work Jimmy: I'm on the clock with you putting in those fake boyfriend hours Janis: but Jimmy: what? Janis: I want you Jimmy: then come back Janis: it's okay yeah Jimmy: we got interrupted last night, it's only fair we get to make up the time now Janis: it's so hard just kissing you and walking away now Jimmy: I'll be done here in a bit Jimmy: we can leave together Janis: alright Janis: they better not say shit, actually not in the mood Jimmy: I'll fake sick & you can meet me outside? Jimmy: hangover's believable Janis: where we gonna go? Jimmy: I don't know Janis: Come back to mine Jimmy: ain't there 100s of you? Janis: Yeah but rich bitch no Janis: there's places, don't worry Jimmy: alright Jimmy: but if we get interrupted again I'm fake dumping you Janis: we won't Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: where are you now? I can meet you there depending Janis: Gym Janis: had to distract myself somehow Jimmy: like I said, trying to kill ME constantly Jimmy: you're welcome for the headphones then Janis: Like I said, gotta make sure you feel it too Jimmy: you're wearing those clothes again, aren't you? Jimmy: I'll pass the news on to Mia before I go Janis: What else was I gonna wear, like Janis: sure she'll be thrilled Janis: fill in the blanks yourself though, babes Jimmy: a ballgown for all I know Jimmy: not set foot inside a gym Janis: don't let on Janis: so not #goals Janis: who they gonna take #gymselfies with Jimmy: you Jimmy: I'm ken to your barbie, Julie, basically surplus Janis: Please, I actually workout when I'm there, not stare at boys whilst also making sure I look #fit at all times pracing on the treadmill Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I can tell Janis: so 💪 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you're really fit Janis: shh Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna talk Jimmy: I'm leaving, don't worry Janis: Good Janis: I'm done with waiting and interruptions and other people Jimmy: where am I going? Jimmy: realised I don't know where you live Janis: Ugh, middle of bloody nowhere literally Janis: Easier if you dare to step in the gym and I'll come with Jimmy: could've sent a car for me, rich girl, or a 🐎 Jimmy: but alright Janis: 🙄 we don't have horses, thank God Janis: there is a donkey if you wanna be that dickhead, very Blackpool, init? right at home Janis: [gym location] literally, down the road and do a left, you'll see all the wankers in the window benches posing Jimmy: swap you for the dog, just kick them cats out & you'll be right Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: give you 5 mins, even as a 🚬 Jimmy: tah 💕 Jimmy: that's love Janis: it's something Janis: show you when you get here Jimmy: not what I want you to show me Jimmy: but I guess Jimmy: I'll survive Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: last night didn't help you figure it out? Janis: Got some ideas Jimmy: you'll get more Jimmy: just wait 'til I get there Janis: Inspiring Janis: thought I was meant to be the #muse Jimmy: you reckon we're a team Jimmy: I remember you saying Janis: I remember lots of things you said Janis: and everything you didn't Jimmy: won't have to repeat myself then, will I? Janis: I won't be mad if you have to repeat some things Janis: just saying Jimmy: you can do some of the exact same things too, if you want Janis: I intend to Janis: and more, better Janis: had plenty of time to think now Jimmy: just how far away is your house? I need to catch up Janis: Glad you said it 😏 Janis: like 15 on the bus 🙄 but I can tell you all about it then Janis: if I whisper, like Jimmy: 🤞 our fave grandma is there Janis: 😂 Janis: down to give her a reason to really hate Jimmy: are you even goals 'til you turn a hater into a fan? Jimmy: don't think so Janis: ew don't be tryna turn old ladies on Janis: omg, are you your ex Janis: tryna let me down gently Jimmy: there never was an ex #plot twist Jimmy: Barry is my true love Janis: damn Janis: i don't need you to be my true love though barry it's alright Jimmy: stashed the baby in the back of the CG it's why I take such long breaks Jimmy: don't even 🚬 Janis: suspiciously good with kids Janis: damn wait 'til they find out the real #tea Jimmy: 😂 Janis: imma look a fool but i hope barry isn't cheating on you, hearing that cry for help now, babe, soz 💔 Jimmy: channel it into my art, don't I? 🎻🎨 Janis: you did a good job not making me look like an old man Janis: hard to resist, I'm sure Jimmy: shoulda seen my first draft Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you do look better than I can draw you though, for real Jimmy: it ain't my preferred method or whatever Janis: yeah? Jimmy: bit rude if you don't know what is 'cause you've been spending loads of time posing for it Jimmy: means I'm shit at that too Janis: huh, no Janis: that makes perfect sense Janis: you do take a good snap Janis: also why they all thirsting, casual personal photographer 🙄 oh ladies Janis: not that you ain't fit too but you know Jimmy: we all know what the real attraction is Jimmy: keep getting more #goals me Jimmy: shame I had to be in 'em or I could've taught Mia about angles and improved her story even more Jimmy: you fucked up there, mate Jimmy: should've gone with Pete and let me film it Janis: full package, babe Janis: didn't feel like a shame, trust me Janis: though your desire to make money outta me making more and more sense #starvingartist Janis: you're the one that'll have to edit out his cum face Jimmy: hang on, you can let me know what this feels like Jimmy: [dramatic gym kiss hello] Janis: Well Jimmy: unconvincing Jimmy: [kisses her again because] Janis: Jimmy Janis: if you don't stop I'll have to start something right here Jimmy: nowt you've just said is making me want to Janis: I know Janis: Why do I want you this bad, fuck Jimmy: 💔 why wouldn't you, dickhead Janis: Shh it ain't personal Jimmy: what is it then? Jimmy: you said me Janis: I meant Janis: I don't know, this ain't exactly what I do everyday Jimmy: it should be Jimmy: you're good at it Janis: you Jimmy: us maybe Jimmy: it works Janis: Yeah Janis: that's what I mean, I think Janis: it's weird but it just does Janis: really good Jimmy: Like I said, you're weird Jimmy: 'course you like it Janis: why am i weird Jimmy: 'cause you're just Jimmy: different Jimmy: from them, from what I thought you were Jimmy: I don't know Janis: i cannot believe you thought i was one of them Janis: 😂 in what world Jimmy: not your sister, the collective them of this whole town Jimmy: you're just more like someone from before Jimmy: I can't explain it alright, shut up Janis: It's alright Janis: [Kisses him] Jimmy: we gotta go Jimmy: I can't stay here doing this and not Jimmy: I can't even finish the sentence 'cause you're like Jimmy: we just need to leave Janis: Me too Janis: Come on Janis: we just need to Janis: yeah Jimmy: yeah Janis: [On bus 'cos they can't keep kissing the entire time without anything happening so reprieve] Janis: I didn't think this would happen Jimmy: why? Janis: well, you know,you were kinda a dickhead, i'm kinda a dickhead all the time Janis: this wasn't the first logical conclusion to jump to Jimmy: sort of is Jimmy: we're both dickheads Jimmy: #matchmadeinheaven Janis: 😏 when you put it in words it sounds logical Janis: grace reckoned you were using me to get to her and i knew that weren't the truth but idk Jimmy: I know what it is, you reckoned I'd be a shit kisser all big ego & worse chat Jimmy: thought you'd have to suffer through it Janis: pretty much Janis: spot on Jimmy: not the first time I've made that impression Jimmy: or proved it wrong Janis: i bet Janis: wouldn't be the first time i'd suffered through so you know Jimmy: really? Janis: 'course Janis: hasn't everyone? Jimmy: gimme names I'll put them on blast Jimmy: twitter campaign with my newly unlocked account Janis: 😂 productive Jimmy: if one is Mia especially Janis: Christ, as much as she wants to turn me so she can be vindicated in her gaybashing Janis: hell no Jimmy: her teeth could fall out & choke you Jimmy: #goals Janis: 🤢 Janis: she can't be a good lay, I don't get it Jimmy: she isn't, I can tell Jimmy: just an effortless catch Janis: yeah? guess if you ain't yourself, ideal girl Jimmy: she'll be one of those girls who just lies there Jimmy: makes you do everything & then slates you for it Janis: exactly, 'cos heaven forbid you try and chat shit back Jimmy: why is your sister friends with her? I don't get that Janis: bitches of a feather Jimmy: but when she comes in on her own she's like Jimmy: shy Jimmy: nice in a 'don't you dare look at me' way Janis: meh, she's a co-dependent Janis: always has been Jimmy: is that like a twin thing? Janis: fuck off, I don't need her Janis: see me with a Mia to chase around like a puppy? Jimmy: nah, I mean like, she needs you but you don't need her so there's Mia ready Janis: idk, maybe Janis: i think anyone can be like that, some people can't hack being alone but it probably done help that she weren't even in the womb, yeah 🙄 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: my brother & sister need me Jimmy: it's exhausting but I can't not do it Janis: they are kids though, that's excusable, like Janis: still hardwork, no doubt Jimmy: Cass ain't much younger than me though Janis: yeah but gracie has two perfectly lovely parents and an array of brothers and sisters and various fam about, if she's that arsed, know what i mean Janis: being close makes sense when its small like you gotta Janis: she don't need to be how she is on me Jimmy: I'm being a dickhead & you're being spot on Jimmy: I just want her to settle in, you know what I mean Janis: you're alright, most people think it 'cos loads of twins are freaky joined at the hip, so that's what she reckons she wants too but tough shit, you know, didn't ask to be born with her Janis: 'course Janis: it must be shit Janis: she'll be alright, it's that age where everyone's sorta stil mates, not dead separate Janis: she can hold her own Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: least my dad timed it better for them than he did for me Janis: you know Janis: parents are cunts Janis: our older sister had to do so much for us 'til she got sick of and fucked off basically Jimmy: hang on while I tweet that wisdom & @ him Jimmy: yeah he has twitter honestly Janis: cringe Janis: probs subtweeting 'bout me this morning like 👋 Jimmy: I don't reckon he knows what he's doing on it Jimmy: just wants to tell his girlfriends how relevant he stays Janis: can't really slide into someone's fucking linked in Janis: 'less it's with a business offer Jimmy: he does like to mix business and pleasure Jimmy: many an office romance Janis: 😬 Janis: always a good idea Jimmy: I told you, keeps jobs only slightly longer than he does lasses Jimmy: it's all connected, mate Janis: effort Janis: least i can ask to move seats Janis: can't be like, sack debbie from accounts bye Jimmy: don't be trying to have me expelled when school starts Janis: alright, thought you'd be buzzin' but i'll go Janis: cba Jimmy: I wanna go 'cause its bollocks not 'cause they've told me to Jimmy: more of a fuck you to my dad that way Janis: rebel with a cause okay 😍 Jimmy: I'm just saying he'd love it if I got kicked out so he can pretend he's right about what a waste of space I am Jimmy: like I don't do everything he can't be bothered to Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: seriously though Janis: that's just shitty adult speak for 'do my job for me' Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I keep telling him that I reckon Bobby needs to like talk to someone or some shit but nah, I'll do the work for free Jimmy: qualified fucking child therapist me Janis: duh, got that PHD done between CG and school and full-time childcare Janis: 'cos when nothing happens, or only bad does, can blame you Janis: not deal with how some of it's likely on him Janis: and sorting it fully is, what can you do, or poor Bobby Jimmy: just worry bout him all the time 👍 Jimmy: tah dad really helpful Janis: useless, all parents are Jimmy: didn't wanna sleep in my own bed or get a decent night of it anyway Jimmy: it's fine Janis: but if you complain, you're selfish, yeah? when it ain't complaining for sake of, you just want something actually done Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: & fucked if I wanna stay with you or have you over Jimmy: how dare I Janis: how wild, a teenage boy with urges Janis: right for him though 'cos his roof and all that Jimmy: & new house new rules Jimmy: 'cause that makes sense Janis: 🙄 Janis: only stupid people would have kids, that's my theory Janis: if you had a brain, and could be sorta in change of another human, you wouldn't want to Jimmy: @ Barry next time, babe Janis: fuck you Barry, coming for your mans too and what Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: how do you do that? Jimmy: make me laugh when everything is still shit Janis: Just my renowned personality that Janis: everyone reckons, like 😏 Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he does reckon, sorry bus peeps] Janis: Welcome Jimmy: when I don't say it that means you don't either, dickhead Janis: soz, new to this friends malarkey, like Jimmy: #friendzoned Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shut up Janis: you need reminding of what we're about to do Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: I do need to shut up & stop throwing my emotional baggage at you, very ungoals Janis: [Kisses him for the reminder and 'cos] Janis: Not to shut you up 'cos nah Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but its alright Janis: got plenty of baggage to throw at you should you ever wanna even that score Janis: but I ain't telling so far as the world is concerned we're both 🥇 Jimmy: It's like I said last night, I don't mind talking to you but not this second Jimmy: I just want Janis: What? Jimmy: just kiss me again Janis: [More] Jimmy: I'm not saying tah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😏 Janis: Glad to hear that ain't what you say after Janis: would have been a struggle to act my way over that Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: what was it you said? Very polite very un me Janis: Something like that Jimmy: I'll try & call you by the right name though Jimmy: not let any Barry's slip out Janis: 😑 please try Janis: no convincing myself I heard you wrong Janis: ego can't hack that, like 🤷 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🖕 Janis: could at least give me false promises now, boy Jimmy: no fake shit Jimmy: not for this Janis: deal Jimmy: [kisses her again cos yolo bitches] Janis: that was real? Janis: shit Jimmy: or how we make deals in the north, Irish girl Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 😏 as amusing as the mental image of business bro dickheads getting off with each other literal to seal a deal is Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: just don't think about my dad or we've got a problem Janis: no danger Janis: safe to say the feeling's mutual too Jimmy: least you'll be long rid of me before I start to look like him Jimmy: again, welcome Janis: 👍 Janis: baz can have you back Jimmy: he'll be dead Jimmy: come on Jimmy: life expectancy of 61 up north & that's if you try Janis: 😂 whoops Janis: pine then bitch Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: black's my colour anyway so sorted Janis: mhmm, buzzin' for it, I know Janis: welcome again Janis: i really fucked your neck up didn't i [touches] Jimmy: I okayed it before & during, didn't I? Janis: okayed during is an understatement but i'll allow it Janis: save your blushes Jimmy: I didn't have the blood spare for 😳 Janis: such a waste Janis: all the times you've turned me on in public Jimmy: how many? you can round up or whatever school ain't started Janis: Let me think Janis: I don't know, every time we've met up, before you've even kissed me half the time Janis: sometimes just when we've been talking like this, you're hot Jimmy: Where are we if we stop the bus and get off right now? Jimmy: 'Cause I really want to properly turn you on now you've said that Janis: Umm no neighbourhood I know, babe Janis: we've got all afternoon Janis: patience 😘 Jimmy: I'm too northern for that Janis: Excuse for everything 😏 Jimmy: if I'm gonna be dead in 40 odd years that's the only excuse I need Janis: Cheery 😉 Janis: go on then Janis: don't waste any more time, see how turned on I am now [moves hands winkwonk] Jimmy: [saucy activities ensue like I'm surprised ruster don't appear like don't steal our thunder bitch] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ?? Janis: just practicing Janis: can't say it out loud right now Jimmy: practicing trying to kill me, yeah? alright Janis: you don't need no practice, clearly Jimmy: #muse remember Janis: you're good let's do this all day Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if I get cramp and can't sling a latte tomorrow, on your head Janis: what do i care, i don't drink 'em Janis: 😈 Jimmy: that's the most #goals thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: as far as my personal ones go Janis: the ones we're keeping off the 'gram Jimmy: yeah Janis: do need to think of a non-cringe way to hype up how good you are though, don't get it twisted ladies 😍 Jimmy: while you're thinking Jimmy: [keeps being a saucy bastard cos no chill] Janis: Oh my God Janis: please, I need to bite you some more Jimmy: shit, I've never heard you say please before Jimmy: real or fake Janis: too real, you got me polite as you want, come on or this bus is gonna hear my prettiest too Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: alright Janis: you taste so Jimmy: if its anything like how you taste then I Janis: i wish we had more time i just wanna climb on top of you and Janis: but we're about 3 stops away now Jimmy: [moves her himself 'cause he's cheeky like that] Jimmy: and what? Janis: fuck me Janis: we're gonna get in trouble Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: I'll get in trouble for you, it don't matter Jimmy: if anyone asks I'll just say it's all fake Janis: you feel pretty real under me right now Jimmy: you feel Jimmy: I thought I liked kissing you but this is Janis: I want it all Janis: so fucking much I didn't know I could this bad Jimmy: like you said, we've got all afternoon Janis: not long enough Janis: it's a start Jimmy: warn me if you're gonna say shit like that so I can warn everyone on this bus how I'll react Janis: Not sorry Janis: only sorry it's not School time so we could bunk and have all day without feeling bad Jimmy: excuse me while I turn it into a laugh/cry 🎭 Jimmy: don't mind me everyone, rehearsing my death scene Janis: They're all impressed, can't hide it Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: impressed by you Jimmy: you look Janis: Nah only you Jimmy: take the compliment, Janis Janis: Okay Janis: as you remembered my name, like Jimmy: I said I'd try Janis: I'm impressed by your efforts too, don't worry Janis: not gonna go unrewarded Jimmy: [kisses just because] Janis: How do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: make kissing Janis: good Jimmy: I told you, you're good at it Jimmy: I take pretend it's all me Jimmy: can't* Janis: Suppose so Janis: doesn't say much for everyone else I've kissed but maybe I was shit then Jimmy: like I said, gimme the list Jimmy: they must've been fucking it up 'cause you're Jimmy: you're just not shit Janis: thanks Janis: sorry everyone but not really, ain't that deep Jimmy: were you really surprised when we first kissed or just me Janis: No, I was like Janis: you're gonna think I'm cringe or just saying it but I didn't know it could feel like that Janis: that's why it's got me thinking on everyone else, like what the fuck lads, why were you holding out Jimmy: I get it, I didn't expect it to feel like this either Jimmy: fuck you, Barry, honestly Janis: 😂 Janis: For real Janis: like, it wasn't even 'cos I thought you'd be shit really Janis: idk Janis: weird Jimmy: I didn't think you'd be shit Jimmy: for the record Jimmy: just not into it Janis: 🤷 Oops Janis: that's what I expected and intended too, I guess, just a deal, like Janis: but Janis: just feels too good Jimmy: We've still got a deal Jimmy: only it's changed a bit Jimmy: now it includes getting to finish what I started without some dickhead interrupting me Janis: Please Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause she said please again it makes him die] Janis: [Misses stop 'cos really, has to get off at next one] Janis: That was your fault Jimmy: yours too Jimmy: I don't know the stops, girl Jimmy: you've got one job, I was doing mine Janis: Hmm well perhaps if yours wasn't distracting me you could be doing your REAL job by now 😒 Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call how you felt, go on Janis: Hush, you cannot break my concentration now Jimmy: where the fuck are we? Janis: Farm town, boyo Janis: you ever fucked in a barn before? Jimmy: how would I? Jimmy: you know where I'm from Janis: idk how adventurous your life has been Jimmy: it ain't been well travelled Jimmy: til now Janis: you're welcome for the detour Jimmy: how long 'til we're back where we need to be? Janis: Only 5 if you keep up Janis: wasn't THAT distracted, soz Jimmy: let me get some blood circulating and stop being brutal Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 👍 lets go Janis: Do your best to sneak, yeah, God knows who's about Jimmy: easy for you to say, still so quiet on that bus somehow Jimmy: like a horny mute Janis: piss off Janis: that's such an unsexy thing to call me you bastard Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: it's impressive Janis: it's just self-control Jimmy: what's it gonna take to make you lose it? Janis: Maybe you'll find out Jimmy: I will Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if it takes me longer than this afternoon, then fine Janis: you wanna do this again Janis: not this exact scenario, detour included like Jimmy: do you? Janis: you always do that Janis: answer questions with questions Janis: sly Jimmy: that still ain't an answer from you Janis: yeah Janis: i wanna Janis: i like it Jimmy: I like you Jimmy: don't be weird about it Jimmy: weirder Janis: forever a dickhead Jimmy: piss off it's a compliment, how many times Janis: 😂 okay okay Janis: i get it, you like weird Janis: i like dickheads, namely you though Jimmy: bet you love yourself, you massive dickhead Jimmy: I like you & you happen to be weird, it's not a fetish or owt Janis: do actually 💪 Janis: got my own name tattooed on my arse, like Jimmy: 📷 one for the insta then Jimmy: least it'll help me remember it Janis: That's why I got it Janis: saves a conversation Jimmy: stop making me laugh Jimmy: trying to be mad at you for making us miss our stop Janis: you know you can't be mad at this face Janis: or this arse Jimmy: [kisses her and touches the booty 'cause true] Janis: See Janis: 😍 Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: can make me in a minute Jimmy: I can make you now Jimmy: if you're gonna keep on Janis: Back to being mute Janis: thought you wanted to hear some noise, contrary Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 🤐 Janis: ❓ Jimmy: [starts being saucy to try and get her to make noise] Janis: You know how much I like to win, yeah? Jimmy: as much as me Janis: Oh baby Janis: you wish 😏 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: [cranks his naughty behaviour up a notch which makes me lol like where even are you lads? calm down] Janis: You know I have to live 'round here, right Jimmy: you do, I don't Jimmy: you know how to make me stop Janis: Bastard Jimmy: just stop holding it in Janis: I don't know if I'll be able to stop if I do Jimmy: I don't want you to stop Jimmy: do you? Janis: No but Jimmy: you want everything, gimme this Jimmy: [more sauciness 'cause] Janis: [is loud, hopefully no one is about lol] Jimmy: Fuck Jimmy: you really were holding out on me, weren't you? Janis: It's just Janis: embarrassing Jimmy: It's just amazing Janis: No bullshitting? Jimmy: I said I wouldn't Janis: Okay good Jimmy: You're so hot Jimmy: how you look, feel, taste, sound Jimmy: I just want it Janis: You're Janis: I don't know why but I'm not gonna question it because I want you just as much Janis: More Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: We need to keep walking Jimmy: yeah Janis: I don't want to either but I need you to fuck me so Jimmy: It's alright, I need it too Jimmy: we can do this Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🥇