#btw if you still present or pass as female even if you don't say you are the men will still objectify you

[asexual-shelly]

In honor of lesbian visibility week, I present a full list of female characters from Total Drama who have canonically shown no attraction to men! (as far as I'm aware)

Staci - Only present for one episode and only spoke for one episode, having no lines in the finale. None of these lines hint at Staci displaying any interest in men.

Dawn - The closest thing I could find was the "I didn't know you were a beetle whisperer!" scene, but even then, that could easily be read as platonic. Svetlana - Similar case to Staci in that her lines are pretty limited due to being actively suppressed by Mike or Mal. However she has not, in fact, said anything that hints at her liking men in those few lines.

Sammy & Amy - Other than that one "Topher thinks you're fat" line of dialogue (which could easily be played off as Amy trying to mess with her), neither of them have shown any on-screen interest in men.

Scarlett - The only extensive interaction she has with men are Max, whom she DESPISES, and their alliance is only romantically framed for the sake of a gag.

Sugar - Nothing in canon hints at her liking men. She admires Leonard, but this is most likely due to his perceived magical abilities rather than any sort of attraction as she displays a similar interest in Max later on.

Tammy - Similar case to Staci, she only had a very brief speaking role in episode 1 and never in these lines was it implied she was attracted to men.

Mary & Ellody - Only here for a short time (with Mary only having dialogue in the episode she was eliminated in rip), but neither of them express interest in guys.

Laurie & Miles - Same deal as Mary and Ellody, they go pretty early overall but haven't been shown to like men.

Jen - You'd expect someone of her character archetype to mention looking for 'cute guys' or something similar, but surprisingly no? The closest thing she has would be her friendship with Tom, which is treated as 100% platonic by the show even if you don't take into account the fact that Tom is gay.

Taylor - Another surprising one imo, it's never stated or implied that she likes guys in the show, not even a passing mention from what I've seen which I could've sworn happened on first watch. Mandela effect I guess 🤷

Josee - Similar deal to Jen as far as I'm aware, being that her closest relationship to a guy is with a gay man and treated as platonic throughout the race.

Sanders - Pretty clear-cut, no scenes of her expressing interest in men or romance in general.

MacArthur - "What about Brody?" The only time she's shown to return his affection is during the finale and she's actively trying to throw him off his game by using his crush against him. She only asks Brody to call her in the Surfers ending, which she doesn't do at all in the Cadets ending implying that she's most likely only in it for the money.

Scary Girl/Lauren - While she does hold an interest in Damien, nothing in canon says she's attracted to him, only to the sound of his screams.

Nichelle - Too busy having no lines to talk about boys. seethingwithrage

Millie - Zero attraction to men in canon, the most interactions she has are with and about Priya. She's sorta friendly with Damien, but it doesn't rise anywhere above platonic (probably because she shoved him into a meat grinder but who knows) and actively seems to be disgusted by or otherwise pretty averse to most of the male cast.

MK - Has never been shown to be interested in guys or even romance in general. In fact, she actively seems to dislike it as seen in the episode where Caleb and Priya kiss where she goes “Yeah, that was sweet, but it’s also how you get mono” (this is ace mk propaganda btw). There was also Nichelle's intro in season 1 when she was looking at her starry-eyed, clearly a joke but yk still noteworthy.

Julia - My favorite lesbian <3 zero attraction or hints at attraction to men in canon + listen... we all watched season 2 you know what I'm talking about don't lie. The closest things she has to romantic interactions with men in canon are at most one-sided and always with her actively disliking said man on the other side (Wayne + maybe Ripper in season 1).

[olderthannetfic]

I do think a lot of the problem and the reason that more people (like the ones who seem to think that "top/bottom as myers-briggs personality types" jokes are exclusively coming from female-centric fandom spaces rather than gay male offline culture - which, btw, ignores that a whole bunch if not most female fanfic writers are themselves queer and there's a similar set of jokes and stereotypes in the lesbian community, but I digress) don't seem to understand what offline queer culture is like on here is that way too many of the people setting the tone for this in The Discourse on Tumblr are very young people who are newly out. In particular, a huge amount of the gay men on here who are telling people how very Problematic this is (when they're getting it from gay men and not circular discourse among other women in fandom who are claiming to speak on gay men's behalf) is coming from young gay men who don't have much of a community offline, and especially young gay trans men who often aren't yet presenting as male outside of the Internet. It's really hard to talk about, because it so easily risks saying those people's identities aren't valid - and like, we've seen TERFs weaponize that discourse to suggest that gay trans men involved in fandom are just straight women who identified too hard with their blorbos or something, as well as the endless use of "passing privilege" to suggest that bi people in F/M relationships are "basically straight" - but I think one thing people need to understand better is the difference between "your identity is valid, your personal experiences with homophobia/transphobia/etc. are valid" and "your judgments about the larger community that your identity makes you a member of are valid." Like, you do actually have to participate in a community to be able to be able to talk about what the consensus in it is, what the cultural norms are. You have to actually look up the history in order to know that history. If you're going to speak on behalf of All Gay Men you probably should know some beyond yourself - including ones who are not Very Online and/or aren't active in fandom - and that goes for both cis and trans gay men. (And the same is true for every subdivision of LGBTQ+, I've seen similarly bizarre takes about "lesbian culture" from 17-yro lesbians who clearly haven't talked to any outside of Tumblr and insular, dramatic Discords.)

Like, to use an analogy here to another kind of oppression: say you have a black person who was adopted by a white family very young and lived in an exclusively white neighborhood and doesn't know any other black people. Obviously, they are still black, and obviously they still experience racism (probably especially because they're an outlier in that community). Obviously, their own understanding of their identity and their experiences with racism are valid. But they aren't necessarily going to have any better of an understanding of the broader black COMMUNITY - cultural traditions, history, etc. - than a non-black person who was similarly not exposed to that community. They can only speak for themselves. And someone who isn't black but grew up near/in black communities (for instance, perhaps another transracial adoptee who was adopted by a black couple? or even just a non-black person who grew up in a heavily black neighborhood) might actually have a better sense of that broader community/culture than they do.

And this isn't a hypothetical. I've heard stuff like that about feeling like outliers in black American culture from everyone from the aforementioned transracial adoptees; to multiracial black people who were raised primarily by their non-black family; to black people who are recent immigrants from Africa rather than descendants of slaves; to black people from Europe or other parts of the Americas, who have some similarities in their culture but it's not completely 1:1. And especially from people who are some combo of the above. They have an understanding of themselves as black and of their relationship to race and racism, of course, but don't really feel like they have a particularly strong understanding of The Black Community or The Black Experience as we understand it in the USA.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that newly-out queer people are often like that. A lot of other marginalized identities - like being a cis woman (this applies less to trans women unless they've known from early on) or being a POC - are ones where you grow up with an understanding of what that means and often a connection to a broader community that gives you some kind of consciousness of what it means to be A Woman or Black or Asian or whatever. But with queerness, it's usually not something you fully understand about yourself until adolescence or adulthood, and even when you do, you don't necessarily have access to a "community" around that until that age because you're probably being raised by cis straight people. You have to take time to discover that community and learn about it, and the culture and history that goes with, and when you start out you're going to be just as ignorant as a straight cis person who is similarly isolated from queer communities. (And frankly, a straight person with a lot of gay friends might know better than you do at first! As a lesbian with a lot of gay male friends, most of whom couldn't care less about my slash fanfic hobby if they even know about it, that's precisely why I know that these takes on Tumblr are so bizarre)

(Disability is the interesting one because it sometimes overlaps with this, sometimes doesn't - and one of the big divides in the community IME is around people who have lifelong understandings of themselves as "disabled" vs. came to it more recently, whether because the disability itself is a new thing or just their diagnosis of it. A lot of people in the second group can have very similar experiences and act in similar ways to newly-out queer people, and I know because I've lived both myself, lol.)

I think people have taken the idea of "everyone is the best expert on their own experience with oppression and their own identity" and distorted that into some weird essentialism where being gay or bi or trans or whatever gives you automatic understanding of "queer culture" or "queer history" without having to do the actual work of talking to people, participating in that community, studying history, etc. but that's just not true. Anyone can study that history and get to know those people. And yeah, as a queer or trans person you'll have a better opportunity to really deeply know and be part of that community than straight cis people with queer friends ever will, but you still have to like. Actually put yourself out there! You're not going to find it by just discoursing in a vacuum of ignorance.

--

Sadly, to all the Olds, this is very, very obvious, but there's no way to make it obvious to the people doing it. It's a matter of experience.

[spacelazarwolf]

That reply completely glossed over op's point that if you're GNC and you want to go to a business meant to aid you in your presentation (an explicitly GNC presentation!) you're more than correct in feeling unsafe. The kind of nb people they're referring to are explicitly non-GNC in their presentation. Every time I go to the barber I feel anxious and worried at what their reaction to me, extremely non-passing trans man, will be. The same goes for a non-passing trans woman (augmented, even)

The most the average nb person who isn't going out of their way to present differently from their agab (which is VALID, btw. Like the op said they don't *owe* anyone androgyny) would have to deal with is misgendering, but for the most part I don't think a nail salon is going to ask for your pronouns when you come in and refuse service if you give the "wrong" ones

yeah i think people were getting very fixated on that example and not really understanding what the point of it was. part of it i think is because the op didn't explain it very well, but also this is tumblr dot com where we piss on the poor daily. the point wasn’t “asking for a trans friendly business if you’re not visibly trans is stupid and bad”, it’s “are you afraid someone isn't going to understand that you're nonbinary and will assume you're cis unless you say something? or are you afraid someone will refuse you service or treat you poorly?"

when i was pre t and looking for places to get my haircut, when i kept it longer and more "feminine", i didn't have a problem finding places to go. i just showed up, said i wanted a trim, and that was it. when i decided i wanted to cut it shorter and get a "men's cut", i had a lot of trouble finding someone who would even do it. over and over i would get hairdressers (all women) who would give me pixie cuts instead of men's cuts. i once spent two hours at the salon repeatedly telling the hairdresser "go shorter" because she literally would not just buzz it and insisted we go little by little in case we went "too short." but they still provided me service. it wasn't until i found my current hairdresser, who is a gay man, that i started getting the cuts i actually wanted. and now that t is making my voice drop and most importantly in this context changing my hairline in a noticeable way, it is imperative that i have a barber who is trans friendly. because people can absolutely react badly to discussions about pronouns, but when there is a physical marker of Gender Difference, that's when i noticed people started getting more aggressive. that's when i started to notice "oh this isn't just really uncomfortable and shitty anymore, this person doesn't want to mock me, this person wants to hurt me." both sucked, but one was significantly more terrifying to experience.

an example that is probably more relevant to the topic and what's currently happening in my life is a conversation i had with a friend of mine who is nonbinary, was assigned female at birth, presents feminine, and has no interest in any aspect of medical transition. love that for them! but trying to talk to them about losing my access to hrt is nearly impossible because they simply do not understand the severity of it. they have compared me losing a job because my coworkers found out i was trans, and being unable to do anything about it because my state is an at-will state, to their coworker misgendering them their first day at work when they were not wearing their usual pronoun pin.

does getting misgendered at work suck? yeah. does it suck to have to wear a pin with pronouns on it just to get people to use the correct ones? yeah. is this indicative of a larger societal problem with cis normativity and the gender binary? absolutely. but the sting of being misgendered in the moment and having to correct someone (who from then on used the correct pronouns) is absolutely not the same as losing your health insurance and only source of income and housing all within the span of two months.

the problem isn't that You Must Be This Oppressed To Talk, the problem is that interrupting a conversation about the government legislating your right to exist to center a moment of personal discomfort is an asshole thing to do.

[artemismatchalatte]

I honestly wonder how many young women are tempted to identify as any other gender but female as an attempt to escape the invasive straight male gaze? This being their main reason for not wanting to be female, nothing else. No gender dysphoria or anything else.

Look, I understand the fundamental concept of being trans and that’s not what I’m talking about here. Transmen are valid and deserve better representation overall. That’s not the main point of this post though. 

So many people are now talking about detransitioning or the regret of being pushed into identifying a certain way to fit in with peer groups as a teen or young adult (yes, this actually happens). I think people should be allowed to talk about their experiences without being called a TERF or whatever insult is being used to tell women to shut up now. 

Just because someone detransitioned does not mean they have anything personally against trans-people. It just means that personally, they made a choice to identify the way they need to, which frankly shouldn’t offend other people.

I was one of these young women who was at times gender curious (for lack of a better term), wondering why I have to deal with the obvious inconveniences of being born female. I still sometimes resent being born female because of having to deal with the creepiness of some straight men’s entitlement and my own being denied equal pay and possible body autonomy. 

But nowhere was I suffering from any form of gender dysphoria. I didn’t want to be a man but simply to have the respect and freedom that men have that women still don’t. Also men wouldn’t likely sexualize me if I was a man instead of a woman. Those were big reasons for me for wanting to be male. I didn’t want a penis or a flat-chest just the safety of male privilege. 

To loop back around, this issue is about internalized sexism (misogyny) and predatory/problematic male behavior that a large number of young women are seeking to escape by no longer IDing as women or female. 

AGAIN I’m not talking about transmen or transgender people or invalidating them. I’m talking about cis-gender women who feel the pressure to identify as anything but female in an attempt to escape being preyed upon. I feel like no one ever talks about this in all the arguments I’ve ever seen online about gender.

[elf-osamu]

Hii! Can I request (female or gn) reader x Jouno, Tecchou, Ranpo, Fyodor and Nikolai? And that reader is maybe jealous cuz boys show too much attention to another person? Thank you and have a nice day/night!

hey :) thank you for requesting ! i wrote this thinking about the main reasons one might be jealous of someone (for example, being insecure about oneself), tbh i'm not really fond of jealousy 😭; also i apologise for the wait ! i hope this is to your liking anyway <3. btw, just so you know, i don't write girl readers/nm. and have a good day/night too !!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

JŌNO, TECCHŌ, RANPO, FYODOR, NIKOLAI W/ AN INSECURE!JEALOUS!READER

[ masterlist ]

hurt/comfort, romantic relationship, saigiku jōno, tecchō suehiro, ranpo edogawa, fyodor dostoevskij, nikolai gogol (separately) x gn!reader

warning(s) : use of pet names, slight jealousy, insecurities about oneself, reader has low self-esteem, anxiety thoughts, food mentions, slight cursing

words count : 3,719 words (i wrote these one-shots in the span of one month so their writing styles are all a bit different ig 😭)

plot : “you see your partner spending a lot of time with someone whom you don't know. anxiety thoughts fill your mind. are you good enough? does he still love you?”

SAIGIKU JŌNO :

[ ☆ ] i believe that jōno wouldn't disclose his true job to his partner, or at least not at the beginning of your relationship.

[ ☆ ] he'd simply say that it consists in something really similar to a civil servant or smth like that.

[ ☆ ] you wouldn't question his affirmation. everyone has their own secrets, right?

saigiku jōno wasn't a bad partner, not at all.

spending time with a fascinating person like him was entertaining and almost inspiring, somehow. you were amazed by his cunning and keenness, by his peculiar ways of discussing certain topics, by his dazzling grin and many, many other qualities of his.

one thing that, however, you worried about, was his job. you couldn't seemed to understand how your boyfriend spent all those hours preceded by a soft “i'm going to work, see you tonight”.

normally you wouldn't have cared, but every day after he got home he was clearly stressed, even if he always admitted the opposite. after taking a quick shower, saigiku would lock himself in his studio to still work. you'd have liked to at least lend him a hand, even if that wouldn't have meant knowing the true nature of his job.

also, he was often on call with other people whose names you didn't know, probably his colleagues, discussing some kind of problem at work.

you completely ignored the severity of their tasks.

today was no different from other nights: the side of the mattress next to you was cold, it being untouched from your lover; the only sounds you could hear were the ones of your own breath; you felt incredibly lonely, as if no one else lived in that house.

and yes, a bit jealous of his associates.

you sighed as you looked at your bedroom's ceiling.

of course jōno had to think about his job and spend time with his colleagues, but also you were a person present in his life who deserved a bit of his company, weren't you?

[ ☆ ] as minutes and minutes passed, you took courage and went to confront saigiku about your feelings on the matter.

[ ☆ ] surprisingly, he proved to be very understanding and he apologized for his inattentive, careless behaviour.

[ ☆ ] “despite my demeanor, i'd like to let you know that you are not a nuisance in this relationship. i won't make the same mistake twice, you can be sure of that”.

[ ☆ ] and he really means it. jōno is a man of his word.

TECCHŌ SUEHIRO :

it didn't happen anything particular that day; the windy weather brought a cold but bearable air, which only made you slightly shiver.

however, along with it, a melancholic feeling was slowly breaking through your heart, like a swift arrow trying to pierce its distant target.

the said disgressing sensation was indeed persistent in its purpose of spoiling your mood, not wanting to leave you even for an instant. it metaphorically resembled a shadow, always in your company even in the moments when you absently forgot it.

you knew that there was no reason to feel upset, it was just one of those bad days that were a part of this miserable, sorrowful yet beautiful life.

nevertheless, you asked yourself why you had to be in that state in that specific evening.

“[name], do you have any idea what to order?”

you looked up from your menu to where your boyfriend was, or sitted in front of you, and you slightly sighed while a shy grin made his way to your lips.

he was ethereal in his suit.

“not yet, there are too many delicacies to choose from. what about you?”

“to tell the truth, me neither. i'll ask the waiters to wait a few more minutes.”

that specific evening was a date with your partner, who was usually busy at work to spend his time with you - and you too were busy with your job and private life, for the matter. it was rare to have moments like those, to forget about the rest and enjoy a peaceful moment together.

coincidentally, however, you didn't feel very well; you had little to no energy that wouldn't have been enough for you to hide your discomfort. yet you didn't want to talk about it to him, you didn't want to bother suehiro on such an uncommon occasion.

after some time, a staff's member came up to your table and you two said your own orders. you couldn't help but notice that all the time they looked at your boyfriend, almost ignoring your presence, and you felt a bit uneasy.

tetchō was a kind of oblivious person in regard of others' attempt to flirt with him, he didn't really notice nor cared about it. neither you normally did, but in moments like those you clung to anything slightly suspicious and immediately saw the worst possible scenario.

i'm just exaggerating, that's for sure. gosh, i'm really tired, my head seems to be imploding.

when they left, your boyfriend took your hand in his.

“by the way, we haven't discussed properly about our lives yet. how are you doing, my dear? did anything worth, or not, mentioning happen?” he asked with his gentle voice, eyes fixed on yours.

suehiro was a kind and caring soul, though not without his own secrets. when he told you about his job, you were a bit skeptical at first; however, after truly knowing him, you found out that he wasn't as merciless as it seemed: he had a big heart, seeking justice for those who couldn't afford to find it for themselves.

certainly, not always in the most desiderable way possible.

as the evening went by, that staff member found any excuse to go back to your table and talk to your partner. you had no energy to reply back or to talk about your discomfort to tetchō, so you remained silent while uneasiness was devouring your heart.

tetchō, being the polite person he was, didn't cause any fuss nor he noticed their intentions; he always responded calmly at them, ending up talking to them more than you.

[ ☆ ] after paying for dinner, you both headed to his car, respectively sitting on the driver's and passenger's seats.

[ ☆ ] “i... i would like to talk to you about something; i'm not really sure how to say it, though,” you said in a whisper, looking at your intertwined fingers that were laying on your lap, not wanting to face him.

[ ☆ ] “love, you don't have to say anything that you wouldn't prefer to disclose. perhaps, it'd be better if we were in a more quiet place?”, your partner genuinely asked, worried about your well-being.

[ ☆ ] you silently nodded.

[ ☆ ] he drove for a while, then parked in front of the sea. it was a quiet night.

[ ☆ ] “would it be okay for you if i vented right now?”

[ ☆ ] “of course, [name].”

[ ☆ ] so you started your monologue, from your negative thoughts to the staff person at the restaurant, not without biting your lips to avoid crying. you felt miserable.

[ ☆ ] tetchō, after you finished, asked if he could hug you.

[ ☆ ] whatever your answer is, he wouldn't complain.

[ ☆ ] “i'm terribly sorry for not having noticed your state. next time, please, let me know and don't feel forced at all to do anything you don't want to.”

[ ☆ ] “also, when you ever feel like this, keep in mind that i love only you.” <3

RANPO EDOGAWA :

[ ☆ ] before starting with the request...

[ ☆ ] i think you and him, at the beginning of your dating story, had a mutual agreement to absolutely respect your personal spaces.

[ ☆ ] what i mean, in this case, is that ranpo would never use his great deduction-skills on you without your permission.

[ ☆ ] this rule allows you to decide what you want to share and what not with him, instead of being read like a book in five seconds and not having a minimum of privacy.

[ ☆ ] so, he wouldn't understand right away if something (or someone) is making you uncomfortable (and this is true in general, in every kind of relationship communication is the key).

[ ☆ ] anyway, it was a day like another...

ranpo had many cases to solve, along with different candy shops to explore for the sake of his own palate. they were sorted with all kinds of sweets, from lollipops to colorful marshmallows to mini cakes. your boyfriend's eyes were full of pure joy at the sight of all those delicacies.

you softly sighed, a small smile was forming on your lips. there weren't many things that ranpo enjoyed, so you were glad that he found in sweet treats something that piqued his interest.

after purchasing the greatest detective’s favourite snacks, you two proceeded with the pursuance of his case. normally, he would go out with his other colleagues, but today he asked for your sole presence. perhaps it was his way to spend time with you, since his daily schedule was usually full.

“remind me again, what else we need to do? we solved this case, didn't we?” ranpo genuinely asked, picking a fruit jelly from its package and offering it to you.

“almost,” you replied, swallowing the candy while muttering a quick ‘thank you’. you took from your backpack the folder containing all information about the case - being one of the detective agency's secretaries had its advantages - and then you checked the texts on your phone. “now, now... ah, yes. one of the victim's sibling, who is also their legal guardian and a witness to this case, wants to talk to us; kunikida said that you could be familiar with them. their name is...” you pronounced it.

“oh, right, i know them! they were involved in another case, many years ago. at the time i was twenty and, since we had the same age, the president let me keep them company”.

“it could be that they just discovered that you were assigned to this case, so it's kind of an opportunity to reconnect with you” you thought aloud, attempting to steal a marshmallow from your boyfriend, widely grinning after succeding in it.

ranpo jokingly pouted, “hey! i bought them with my own money”, and in response you kissed him.

“you jerk...” ranpo murmured, biting his bottom lip, clearly trying to hide his smile.

you two continued to tease each other on the way to the agency; when you arrived at your workplace, you composed yourselves and went to the hall, where the victim's sibling was waiting for ranpo.

you decided to leave your partner some space and went to the coffee table, filling your personal mug with the sour drink. you took a sip of it, and in the meantime you set up your messy desk, writing down in your notebook the main information about the case, which you would then have to write as a report.

you could hear the two of them chatting about their first encounter, laughing of the old days, and a tinge of jealousy formed in your heart.

ranpo wasn't one to befriend with witnesses nor victims, as all the agency members he was professional when the time came, however they seemed pretty close...

i should concentrate on my work. why am i even thinking about such shallow matters? we are literally dating and they are a witness, that's all. i'm just overthinking things.

nevertheless, you lifted up your gaze, anxiety creeping within you. they were still talking, but the witness had put a hand on ranpo's shoulder.

you freezed. ranpo detested physical contact, only a few people could dare to touch him; yet he didn't move.

maybe they were dating those years ago? ranpo seems comfortable with them. of course he would, they are nice, beautiful, and they have an angelic voice. they seem to have all the qualities that i lack of. no wonder that-

you slapped yourself mentally. you had to focus on your notes or else you could end up indulging more in those thoughts.

“thank you again, i'm grateful for your work in regard of my sibling. now i shall take my leave,” you heard saying, then the witness quickly left the agency quarters.

you slowly sighed in relief, although you felt bad for what you have thought; you shouldn't have doubted ranpo's loyalty and trust. gosh, why were you such a mess?

you took your head in your hands, closing your eyelids; though you didn't notice your boyfriend, who was reaching your side.

“[name], what's the matter?” he whispered, not wanting to scare you.

[ ☆ ] he sat on your lap while you explained him the situation.

[ ☆ ] ur man would reassure you with cuddles and snacks, along with kind words.

[ ☆ ] “i won't lie, that touch made me a bit uncomfortable, but they didn't know that i generally despise it. plus, for me they are just a witness,  nothing more.”

[ ☆ ] “my dear, i love you and you only. let's head home to spend time together, shall we?”

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKIJ :

[ ☆ ] i imagine fyodor being someone that goes frequently to libraries, spending hours sitting on a wooden chair, reading books of every kind, mainly the classic, philosophical and psychological ones, which explore human nature.

[ ☆ ] if given the opportunity, he would gladly talk about his opinions on various topics.

[ ☆ ] though, he only talks about it in depth with a trusted person with whom he finds himself at ease.

[ ☆ ] so it kinda became your thing to talk about different matters and ideas in the said quiet place.

[ ☆ ] in this one-shot i used the russian diminutive of the name fyodor, that is “fedya” (федя).

as you entered the gothic library, you detected the familiar scent of old books. the atmosphere of the past still lingered between those walls, there were few traces of the modern world there - as if one wanted to maintain the grandeur of the building.

that hadn't really been a great day for you, your self-esteem wasn't the best and you sure needed some kind of comfort. you silently hoped that fyodor would bring you reassurance through his silvery voice and crisp speeches.

you headed to the philosophy & psychology section, remembering that your partner informed you of his location beforehand.

you found him reading an old tome and at the same time writing something down on his notebook.

“hi, fedya,” you murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder. although you couldn't see it, the corners of his lips rose in an affectionate smile. “good afternoon, darling”.

you took a seat next to him, watching intently the way he was smoothly writing on the white paper. strands of dark hair adorned his pale, delicate skin while his amethyst eyes, illuminated by the light of the room, were softly glimmering at the book's pages.

how could an almost angelic being like him be with you? probably, it would always remain a mystery.

“fyodor, i'm back- oh? who are they?” someone behind both of you asked.

you jumped on the spot, surprised by the new voice; turning around, you looked at the person who had just spoken. you were certain that they weren't someone you knew, perhaps they were a fyodor's friend?

“they are [name], my partner,” your boyfriend replied calmly, without turning back. “and [name], they are a regular customer of the library as us, we met just a few hours ago”. precise and concise as always, without saying more than necessary.

“oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. i didn't think that a bookworm like him could have a partner,” they jokingly said, causing you to stiff in your chair.

“the pleasure is mine,” you returned the greeting, although you were a bit skeptical of the new... acquaintance.

as they and fyodor, close-knit, began talking about some philosopher you did know nothing about, insecurities invaded your mind.

now, fyodor wasn't one to befriend people so easily, was he? it was rare of him to be interested in people, unlike material goods, which seemed to greatly satisfy him, to fill the void in his heart. you felt foolish and terrible for thinking such things, but maybe... just maybe...

“i apologise folks, but i must bid you farewell,” the person near fyodor said in a fake melodramatic tone, standing up and putting on their coat, “i hope we'll meet again”.

[ ☆ ] some moments later, you laid your head on the table, snorting at yourself for being so insecure.

[ ☆ ] i hc fyodor to be someone who reads body language well, so of course he knew what you were thinking all this time.

[ ☆ ] “i must say, i am not usually fond of people, you know for sure. but, in spite of this, i can say that you, my dear, are an exception. you are my one and only. truly”.

[ ☆ ] jjk reference who.

[ ☆ ] fyodor uses words to reassure you ! he's not really a hugger.

NIKOLAI GOGOL :

[ ☆ ] let's forget for the time being that he's a wanted t3rror!st, shall we?

[ ☆ ] obviously i'm not asking this because otherwise i wouldn't know what to write for this one-shot, pff haha why would you assume such a thing/s

[ ☆ ] nikolai couldn't you have a normal job or smth you f*cker/lh/j

[ ☆ ] anyway, in this one-shot i used the russian diminutive of the name nikolai, that is “kolya” (коля).

having an outgoing personality allowed nikolai to easily get to know people: his friendly and warm nature captured the hearts of others, as a comfortable sweater on one's figure, making it almost difficult to ignore him.

of course, there were some that found his unreserved temperament to be a source of annoyance, which however your boyfriend didn't care about at all.

perhaps it was this nonchalance of his that made you fell in love with kolya, the way it didn't matter to him what the others thought of him as long as he could do whatever he desired.

“babe, are you listening to me?”, a familiar, husky but pleasant voice brought you back to reality.

your boyfriend, who was sitting next to you, was looking at you with a confused expression.

“oh, sorry kolya, i was lost in thought. what were you saying?”

“i was wondering whether you wanted popcorns - and sharing them with me - or something else” he explained while running a hand through his hair. “the others already ordered their snacks for the movie”.

“popcorns are just fine,” you replied with a hint of a smile, “thank you”.

he leaned over slightly to leave a kiss on your lips. “no problem. extra large cup, 'm i right?”, you quickly nodded. then he stood up, heading to the cashier.

the so-called ‘others’ were a bunch of people about your age, that you and nikolai had just met there, at the cinema's hallway, waiting to enter the movie room. coincidentally, kolya found out that your seats were close, so why shouldn't you all befriend?

truth was that, despite being constantly reminded by your boyfriend that he truly loved and adored you, your self-esteem wasn't the best; many people admired him, so why did he chose you? and, too preoccupied to pay attention to your (untruthful) thoughts, you had no energy to socialise and talk to complete strangers.

“i'm here~ oh, we can enter in the room now!” your partner exclaimed; one of his arms was holding the huge portion of popcorn, while the other went to loosely rest on your waist.

he had noticed your bad mood, it was just that he didn't know how to approach it and if it was the best decision to make anyway. he was the type to joking around to lift up others' mood, but openly talk about it? it wasn't really his thing, mainly because he wasn't so in touch with his feelings as he seemed to be.

you two followed the new-formed group, discussing the possible endings and plot-twists of the movie, even though you all had only watched the trailer.

after taking your seats, the movie started.

some time passed, between a scene and another; nikolai talked a bit with you and a bit with the other person next to him, but then he arrived at a point where he was speaking only to them and you were the one eating your shared popcorn.

i must not get upset. there's nothing wrong with what they are doing, they are simply having a conversation, aren't they? why am i so f*cking irritable today?

you couldn't lie to yourself, you felt a little neglected by the whole thing; it would have been a different story if that had been an evening with friends, however they were just an unknown person. but they weren't doing anything strange, right?

[ ☆ ] as you continued to ignore your susceptibility by being silent instead of speak up, the movie ended and so, after saying goodbye to the ‘others’, you two left the cinema.

[ ☆ ] at the cinema's exit, you took your boyfriend's hand and started playing with his fingers, a sign that you were nervous.

[ ☆ ] a few minutes later, nikolai stopped his footsteps and looked at you, forcing you to stand in front of his eyes.

[ ☆ ] “my love, what's wrong? y'know you can tell me anything”

[ ☆ ] “kolya it's nothing-”

[ ☆ ] “[name]... if you don't feel like explaining it to me right now, it's fine. but, don't lie to me, please.”

[ ☆ ] after some hesitant moments, you started talking about your feelings in regard of the previous situation.

[ ☆ ] nikolai waited in silence, while he was hugging you, leaving some soft kisses on your face, there and there, to encourage you to talk.

[ ☆ ] in the end he would reassure you a lot !!

[ ☆ ] and he would make up for that night doing a movie marathon at his place with you and you only.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[ do not copy, translate, repost, etc. | by @ elf-osamu ]

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1024 - Initial Thoughts

Happy Volume 100 Day! Indeed, Volume 100 officially comes out today, it's a shame we didn't get more of those We Are One segments (just like the Nissin noodle commercials) but it wrapped up nicely

There's also a chapter to deal with though so let's get to it

Spoilers for Chapter 1024, Support the Official Release too!

I forgot to mention the special Popularity Poll colour spreads last time but here's our middle one mainly involving the Straw Hats, Vivi, the remaining Supernovas, Bon, Merry, Woop Slap (seriously how?) and some villains (Crocodile, the rest of Moria and Enel). Sneaky bit of Sabo on the side too who'll be fully displayed in the next spread

Oh Usopp, your braggadocios scamp you. He's spreading Fear of God by claiming some recent KOs are due to his Conqueror's Haki

Also claiming to have defeated 2 of the Tobi Roppo...I mean he contributed at least, maybe word it like 'I fought two of the Tobi Roppo and I'm still standing'

Plus he's riding a very unimpressed Alligator SMILE atrocity XD

Horsealina chan (aka Speed) is back to protect sweet child Tama, as it turns out the KOs are from Big Mom's Conqueror's Haki who's fighting on this floor, which must mean that Law and Kid are taking it to her

Also it's still worth applauding that Nami, Usopp, Speed nor even Tama have succumbed to BM's Conqueror's Haki

Luffy's status is still unknown to the crew though, and Nami does seem a bit nervous about it when asking Franky

Franky's right though, no news is good news because if Luffy was defeated or dead he'd be paraded around by the Yonko

Franky is also making motions to move Nami and Usopp with him to the performance floor, so the crew's gonna be converging soon

Some Heart Pirate action too as they fend off any attempts at enemies intervening on Zoro and Sanji's fight with King and Queen, seems like Law they don't like to be told to do stuff by the Straw Hats either

Everyone's bouncing from the Third Floor too thanks to Maria's arson attempts

Out in a blaze of Yohoho is Brook carrying Robin, but no you're not cremated just yet, need to be ashes for that

Look at Robin so peaceful, as Brook guards over her and also is eager to know how things are going

He calls Jimbei who's on the Fourth Floor with Kid's remaining crew, didn't know Kid has a feral female crewmate

Trust Jimbei to be concerned about the big picture of Kaido, but he also mentions how people are fleeing the castle, is it because of the fight in the Performance Floor or because we've reached mainland?

Showing Kawamatsu defending the line does make me think the former

But back to Yamato vs Kaido now, looks like some parent/child attack tennis

Since we can't avoid it now I know the Vivre Card Databook is saying that Yamato is female but since Yamato is identifying as Oden and was still canonically called Kaido's son I'm gonna continue to use male pronouns for the time being. Don't read too into it okay or leap at me for using the wrong pronoun because it's a can of worms right now and I don't want to be part of it

I mean, come on Yamato it's not like you expected Kaido to take it easy on you when you're trying to stop one of his endgame plans

Flashback time! And that's where the Dragon statue used to be...

Kid Yamato is precious, and also has Conqueror's Haki

Kaido all about not winning any Father of the Year awards, he's been starving Yamato, says if he wants to be Oden then he'd be better off dead, then threw him in a cave for a month

Yamato isn't alone though, there are three master swordsmen samurai in the cave too

And now he entices them, with a serving of food for one and a load of swords to fight over it

And the twisted cherry on the bastard cake: 'But I thought you were Oden', was there ulterior motive though? Oden would be able to inspire the Samurai right? I guess not for his own gain though given how he's treating Yamato

The Samurai grab the swords, but they hand Yamato the food: Samurai don't get hungry...unless they're Kin'emon and Momo, like how Kunoichi don't get hungry unless it's Tama

Full on Tama vibes from Kid Yamato eating their first meal in ages, I see that Oda

Dang then one of the Samurai just cut the chains off of him

Since I was given away on spoilers (like seriously guys use the 'Keep Reading' thing, it's the best way to hide spoilery stuff for those who don't wanna be spoiled) this must be Ushimaru, and he does look like those old Zoro pictures

He also now has an eye injury, but he feels disgraced, probably because he was captured rather than killed

Look at this little baby who is probably 5 foot tall hiding behind Oden's journal and doesn't know how to read yet

Looks like Yamato had 3 Dads, all of them Samurai, who taught him to read Oden's journal so he could fanboy more

10 Days pass and Yamato is weakening, seems like the Samurai feel that Yamato will need to be in the fight

Ushimaru though with the Shimotsuki crest on his back has had enough of prison, the Samurai are busting out and in turn giving Yamato freedom from the cave too

Amanowato, I feel like that's important, but the only thing I can find is a special dance (Amanowato Mai) that's performed on the day of the Annual Festival - October 15th...which is a Friday so maybe...

Back to the present and Yamato asks the tough questions, what right does Kaido have to steal freedom?

But Kaido makes a usual cruel response, there are no easy answers

And then we conclude with a clash of Thunder Bagua

Whooof, lot in that chapter huh?

We've got collective chaos with the Straw Hats as they do as expected begin to converge towards the performance floor, perhaps for the final hold off before Luffy and Momo arrive.

Oda though must've known that we were hoping for a Zoro flashback, because he then gave Yamato one instead XD It was cool to see some supportive people in Yamato's past, but while Yamato4Nakama fans will point that he now has a link to Zoro via Ushimaru we also have to note that Yamato's backstory may not have enough tragedy to be a Straw Hat (I'm joking in this btw, Carrot doesn't either unless the Dukes die but Zoro and Usopp's backstories aren't so tragic either)

Yamato giving me Tama vibes when a child is interesting, I do wonder why we have gone that route other than adorableness, but you can see where his strong admiration for Samurai lies too. Wonder how he got Oden's journal so young though

But yeah, no break which is good, I have a feeling though we'll get one next chapter after the colour spread is finished, 1025 could be setting something up big so Oda can pass out for a few days till giving us fire once again

[transmascjfk]

i'm,, trans and hc chihiro to be a male..

i'm sorry, but i don't quite understand how that's transphobic. could you please explain how chihiro is transmisogynistic? (sorry if i come off as rude - that's not my intention and i genuinely just don't understand, though i would like to!!)

What is transmisoginy?

"Transmisogyny is a distinct category of transphobia in that transmisogyny mainly focuses on trans women and other transgender individuals who demonstrate femininity, whereas transphobia is a more general term, covering a broader spectrum of prejudice and discrimination towards transsexual and transgender individuals. Julia Serano states in Whipping Girl that "when the majority of jokes made at the expense of trans people center on 'men wearing dresses' or 'men who want their penises cut off' that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny. When the majority of violence and sexual assaults committed against trans people is directed at trans women, that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny." "

Chihiro is written to mock trans women, to say that in reality trans women are secretly men, she is a man who is weak and uses being trans as a way to escape her problems, this is a thing that is also said to trans men a lot, that theyre just trying to avoid the hard parts of being a woman by becoming a man. Even if the writters intended it to be like that or not (which they probably did because transphobia is a big thing that happens a lot, obviously) it's still transmisogynistic. Thats that on that

This is a pretty common transphobic trope actually, the "Turns out this one character was actually from the opposite sex??!!", theres more examples of this in other games outside Danganronpa.

But also her experience is pretty different from other examples, her experiences are way too similar with trans womens experiences.

This is mostly for the cis people who call her a crossdresser and refuse to change their mind, on it, sit down.

Written by a trans man.

Don't tell me whats transphobic and what it's not transphobic if you're cis. Just sit down and read.

Tw: transphobia, transmisoginy, death mentions and blood in the pictures.

The game implies a lot of stuff with her dialogue, it doesn't straight up says "I don't want to be a woman anymore, I'm a man" like everyone claims it does.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I'm going to get stronger...and accept who I am... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Strong enough so that when someone says "even thought you're a boy" I'll be okay. I'll get better! ]

[ Alt text 3:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I wrapped myself in lies. I'm weak. I want to destroy that version of me forever! ]

[ Alt text 4:

Chihiro Fujisaki: ... I want to change. ]

[ Alt text 5:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I have to change. I don't want to be weak anymore ]

She goes to Mondo not because hes masculine, but because she admires him and his strength. She never once says it's because shes a man or because Mondo is a man.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Maybe talking to Mondo about it will help give me some courage... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I admire... your strength... ]

These dialogues can be read in two ways, the first one being the one the game tries the hardest to put in your head thats shes a man, all of this guessed by other people btw not what she herself says. Which is really transphobic, because she was written as a trans woman and then theyre like "uh no actually hes a man, because he was born as one but hes a coward so he started to dress as a woman to hide from his problems. Because thats what people do right? People who dress as their oppossite gender are so pathetic, specially men amiright? Ahaha"

Reading it in this way really weird, you're doing a lot of mental gymnastics because you would literally call her a trans woman with all of this if the rest of the trial, that consists of cis people assuming shes a man, didn't happen. And sadly you're following transphobic ideas by this. Because the canon is transphobic and transmysoginistic.

And the other way is just read what she says, that she just wants to be stronger and stop lying to everyone, basically about being cis, because shes not, shes amab (assigned male at birth) and thats probably what she said to Mondo, but most people when a trans person who already passes or is in their transition comes out many people tend to think "oh so youre your gender assigned at birth and not the one you claim to be?", because they don't get what being trans is and they think only "biological gender" is a thing. Basically, misgendering and invalidating the trans person.

I can guess all of this just because of how vague they decided to make her dialogue, not even showing how she tells Mondo about being amab.

What did she said to Mondo? "I'm trans"? "I'm a man"? "I was born a man"? We dont know, because they didn't show it and she died right afterwards and then everyone was like "Chihiro was secretly a man" to solve the case and thats it. A lot of people in the discourse get their information from Monokuma who isn't either Chihiro or even Mondo. Monokuma knows many things but he can't read minds to know if she was really trans or not, only she could say it but she died so she couldn't explain if shes trans or not.

[ Alt text:

A youtube comment by Gail Frisbee, posted 4 days ago, this comment was edited by the autor. The comment says:

"It's honestly increible to me when people try to argue that a scene in which a female-presenting character gets their genitals groped and then is posthumously referred to as a male from that point on can't be transphobic just because that character calls themselves a boy in some other side content later. It's on about the same level of intellectual honesty as claiming that Quiet from MGS5 isn't really fanservice because she totally breaths throught her skin you guys.

As it turns out, if you really dig down deep into the lore, Chihiro is a fictional character and the same people who wrote the genital investigation scene also wrote the lines that character says in the game as well. It's a shocking twist, I know." ]

Her fears of being outed and people founding out her secret (being trans) or being transphobic is used as a gross big twist. A trans woman being used as a mockery of trans people? Great totally normal (/sarcasm)

Read this post made by a trans woman. I'll be using this only part but it's still a great read.

[ Alt text:

So. There is a lot to unpack here, but I want to start with something that specifically hurts me as a trans woman, and that's how the game flippantly uses real world horrors trans people face as shocking reveals and twists. You can go down the list for "worst nightmares" of trans people incluiding:

Threatening to be outed against your wishes

Outing yourself to a trusted friend and being met with rejection, or worse, violence

Having your body and privacy examined and invaded

Having your deadname used and being misgendered after death, when you can't correct them ]

Now, let's go to her backstory for a bit. I will be using the wiki for this. (Which sadly uses he/him for her 💔)

" When Chihiro was a child, he became the subject of harassment and bullying. He was always told to "be a man" and that he was "so weak despite being a boy", and because of that, Chihiro slowly but surely began to develop a "weakness complex". In order to escape the bullying, Chihiro began to dress as a girl so that people wouldn't bully him as a weak boy. "

This doesn't sound like a normal crossdresser, this sounds like a trans woman who was bullied for being different when she was younger, like many trans people, and then she decided to transition because she's a woman, she wanted to be more feminine and stop being seen as a person shes not. Specially after so many people tell her to basically man up when she doesn't want that, because shes not a man.

Have you ever heard of the classic stories of "since I was little i knew i was different, i was a boy who liked playing with dolls and was more feminine than the rest" or "i used to be a tomboy when i was little, i had mostly male friends, i liked playing with car toys and was more masculine than other kids" coming from trans people? This just sounds as these types of stories to me.

People also like to say that alter ego uses he/him pronouns and says shes a boy. Many trans people can misgender themselves for personal reasons too guys, she could've been trying to misgender herself because she didn't felt like she wasn't enough to be a real woman, this happens a lot to trans people. If people constantly tell you that you're not actually transgender or you just feel like you're faking it then you might actually believe it, thats were most "detransitioners" come from. And thats basically what they made her, a detransitioner.

Some of you might also don't get how shes trans because you think she doesn't perfect or exact trans stereotypes. Trans experiences can be similar on the feeling of not fitting in, dysphoria, etc. But trans experiences, stories, transitions and complete lifes can be very different, because we all (including cis people) live different lifes, experience, process and cope with things differently. So i can understand why you might not get her being trans coded at first, don't worry. But try instead of just not caring because you don't get it at the first try, to see what trans people say.

This whole discourse its mostly cis people talking over trans people about their own experiences (incluiding the dead trans coded characters experience) saying if theyre valid or not and denying stuff not wanting to learn anything, completely refusing to it because "In canon hes a boy" ok then in canon shes written in a transphobic way too but most of you don't care about that. You would rather call her a crossdresser than try to acknowledge how obviously trans coded she is and how thats used as transphobia.

The way most cis people act in this discourse is very transphobic to me to be honest, if you think you're a good ally but act like this then you should get more educated on the topic as a whole and about trans people too.

-the trans Chihiro flag to finish this up, she has a bit boobie! good for her! good for her.

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

Sorry if this seems too annoying and i know you're not a therapist but i don't have much people to talk about this with and i wanted to ask for some advice.

I'm a bi trans man, and naturally, before transitioning i lived a good chunk of my life as female, and that includes figuring out my sexuality. When i realized i was also into women i had to face some troubles because of it but with time i was able to proudly accept myself and my label. I very proudly would call myself a lesbian... which for sure is natural for any trans men attracted to women before transitioning.

When i started to research more about transitioning and talking about it with my therapist and eventually deciding that would be the best for me, i still wasn't out to everyone and didn't even tell my parents. I wasn't sure of everything but i knew that's what i wanted. I had a girlfriend (with a huge age gap, btw, only with the help of my therapist was i able to realize it was grooming) who was a lesbian, and was very opposed to my transition. Even after we broke up, i would hear from multiple women about how i was just a "confused lesbian". That's the keyword... lesbian.

Most women in my life would tell me that i don't need to transition because there's nothing wrong with being a women attracted to other women. That's how most of the arguments against my transition were : "you're just a lesbian". I always thought that hit particularly hard, it seemed like the roughest way to tell someone you don't see them as a man at all.

So years have passed... i had to deal with that until i was presenting as a male, changed my name, and new people i met would know me as a male. I have only one friend, a best friend, and she's the most wonderful person i could have met. A few years ago, when we first met, i fell masly in love with her, it was before my transition. When i confessed, she told me she was straight, and i remembered that hit me like a truck. But that doesn't really matter for now, the point is she rejected me because she's not attracted to my birth gender, well, it happens. I like to think i'm over it.

Then recently, she tells me she thinks she's bi because she's attracted to this one girl. She told me before I was completely over her so it hurt. Now that i'm over it, when she tells me about said girl i still feel kinda weird. Like part of me can't accept it. She says she might not really be bi but everytime she talks about other women, even as a joke, i get this feeling. And it's not just her... whenever i hear any girl talking about other girl i get this weird feeling, it's just that i've only really realized it because of my friend and this girl.

After reflecting a bit on the situation, i think it might be a little bit to do with that rejection and a lot to do with the way i was treated before transition. I think the experiences i had made me associate being a girl and liking other girls as a bad thing. I obviously want to get over that, i don't want to feel uncomfortable with girls attracted to others girls and if my best friends happen to actually be bi i want to be able to support her without being a pussy.

I imagine many other trans men also have a bad experience with being called a lesbian, but i'm not sure if it's normal to be pent over this for so long. Do you know a way to help this? Regardless, thank you anyway for taking the time to reading this.

I think it's fair to say that most trans people have slightly more complicated relationships to sexuality. Especially if they don't realize their trans until their older and have ID-ed one sexuality for a while only to realize it doesn't work anymore. Ex: realizing you're not a lesbian but rather a straight trans man.

In your case it seems to be more about the lesbian community and very specific lesbians and their relationship to you. Being told you're just a "confused lesbian" and even having a past crush realizing stuff about herself that makes you feel like slighted.

While I personally don't have any bad experiences like that, I know you're not alone. You'll find people who won't accept you as your actual gender in any group of people. And its definitely frustrating.

It's ok to be upset or uncomfortable with stuff. It's normal. And your feelings towards any situation are never bad. It's never bad to feel things. It's about how you react to those emotions. And it seems like you're not letting those feeling make your friend feel bad which is good. I don't know the best way to approach that specific situation. If any of my followers have advice, feel free to add on.

The best advice I can give is to talk to a therapist. And maybe expose yourself to some lesbians who aren't gonna be "you're just confused" on you. Also look into if you're actually over your crush, you might just be jealous (I don't know for certain tho). Either way, good luck.

[sweetcafa]

I love you.

Nova x reader fic

Btw nova uses both male and female pronouns in this fic

Warnings:none

Nova⤵️

————————————————————————

Nova and you where close.

Like really close, you never knew how you guys became such good friends. I mean it was like yesterday when you where helping the nurse with students when a clumsy pink haired girl walked in. They looked tired and had bruises on every inch of there leg.

You couldn't just stand there. Besides they seem so kind and sweet when you placed them on one of the beds in the nurses office. While cleaning and checking there legs they keep saying they where sorry. Telling you the story of tripping on the staircases while holding some boxes. When questing them further you found out they where the leader of the occult club. Your face became pale as a shiver went down your spine. You had heard rumors of this supposed "occult club". How they where all weirdos worshiping the devil and drinking goats blood.

Tho nova seem like the complete oboist of what you imagine those people looked like. Your mind wonder and asked mostly questions about her club.

She only told you some things before you batched up his bruised legs. Sending them off to there class as time had pass fast to you. Once nova left saying there goodbyes you felt a breath of air leave you. Like you where struggling to breath with them just the presence of him. Soon you began noticing nova at random times of the school.

At lunch they sit at the garden site right next to the school. Having small talk with many of the garden club members. And even helping out with weeds and planting. You notice how when the school gates where closed he stood under one of the trees in front of the school yard. The way the sun hit his face made you somewhat feel red. As if you yourself was feeling extremely overwhelmed .

Tho one day it all felt strange. There where whispers in the halls. And every turn you took was as if you where stepping into the most scariest place on earth. But why?! What in all days made this one so much more worse. Everyone seemed so infected with this aura. Students,teachers alike seemed drained and made half of the day feel like time was no longer moving. But that's when you noticed nova. They seem liked themselves. There face smiling even when others coward and feared just when they turned there head. Even the many students and teachers who know nova well didn't bother to stop this strange feeling that followed nova everywhere. Tho that's when your last class came when a student came over. There face was sweating and fearful. Like if they where being watched.

They had given you a note? What for? The note was in a simple envelope with a heart shaped sticker on top of the fold. Once they left You decided it was best to read it after everyone left. You don't want that much attention, once everyone left You ripped the note carefully reading it in your head.

"Dearest y/n"

I have been wishing to speck to you for a while. I have been seeing you more and more, I simply can't ignore your presents now. Please speck to me on the top of the roof E-wing behide the generator.

I will wait till the end of the day to see you. Your dearest hun"

-Love"

Your face went from confused to red to even more confused. You knew that just reading this it was of a secret admirer. Your wondered if it was the woman who gave you the note. Maybe they where worried or something when giving it to you? Who knows but you knew that maybe it was best to meet this person. You thought about it before packing your stuff and walking out of class.

You took slight deep breaths before going up to the first flight of stairs up to the roof.

*a few minutes later*

Once upon opening the roof doors you felt a slight breeze. The wether was cold while the bright sun was still very upon noon. You walked over to the E-side of the roof, once being close to the generator you heard the sound of shoes clicking. As if someone was anxious. You slightly walked closer seeing nova. Her face showed only discomfort and the sudden light blush only made you want to turn back. Nova was gonna confess to you?! But why,for once you knew how this would end.

You might need to reject her.

You liked nova, but you two had barely talked, a slight wave or glance was all you guys did. And to be honest you didn't know much about nova to began with. You heard rumors but you can't take those as fact. It was to late your already stood there too long. Nova finally saw you, a slight squeak came out bringing you back to attention. Her face was frozen and she might of wanted you to lean into a conversation.

"Nova? Umm-you wanted to speck with me?" You said raising the letter in hand. "Yes! Dear-I mean y/n. I wanted to tell you this but..I dint know when it was appropriate to speck on this matter." Her face slight shifted and if she was preparing himself. The quite and golden sight around you two was of many you seen in books,romance movies and even in the many short love story's you read on sometimes. She looked back at you before walking somewhat closer.

"..Y/n I was wondering if you wish to

.

.

.

Be my friend?" Nova looked back at you her face red as her ears poked out her fluffy pink hair.they looked red. But that only confused you more. Nova was confessing to be your friend. You wanted to say something but nova began to speck soon after the silence. " I know it seems strange. But ever since we meet I didn’t have the change to speck to you after we meet at the nurses office. The way you where kind and never shown me any rudeness or hostile anger to me made me feel safe in a way. I want to keep feeling that comfort and safety with you dear!" Nova faced you before bowing and placing both arms at the side.

" Y/n! Would you do me the honer and letting me hang out with you! As a friend and as a person!"

You froze once more.

Your tone turn soft as a small giggle came from your lips. Nova keep her head down coming back to a sanding position, and once you stoped you walk over to him."nova you didn’t need to be this former..besides I would love to hang out with you more." You didn't have time before nova looked straight at you. His face looking as if a kid was given a cake on there birthday ready to blow out the candles."Oh dear you mean that!" She smiled her hands back to her front. "Of course! Why would I not want to be with you?" It only took sometime but that ended with both you and nova walking out of school. Both of you carrying each there own book bad talking and smiling.

Once she left,seeing her walked up to her apartment waving bye every step you couldn't help but smile. Your foot stoped hitting your parents porch before walking in. Laying your stuff you can't think of a better person to walk home after school with. Eating with your family and finishing any work you rested back to bed. The dark room only giving silence. You thought if nova was going to meet you at the front gate smiling as happy as he was later that day. You knew you would love to wake up much earlier then before.

With a slow turn and closing your eyes. You felt your face red as a you smiled at the thought of what you be able to do with your new

Dear

Friend

Nova💚

___________________________

Shout out to my bbgs. You all know who y'all are >:). Cause. Might make more. Or even other fandom x y/n. The old "I guess I will just do it myself move 👹" anyway thanks to any homies reading till the end. </3

Word count:1395

[chaeyo0]

1-10 !!

adorable ask meme

have you met your soul mate?

we all have these different perceptions of a soul mate, though mine may be different to what others may believe. to me, a soul mate is someone who is willing to stick by you no matter what, to look after you, and to tell you what you need to hear.

what was your favorite color when you were younger and now?

my favorite color was red, and it's still red. it is pretty silly to still have the same color after so many years have passed, but the color red always seems to make me reminisce of sweet memories. for instance, my strawberry farm. the amount of red i saw that day for such a harvest, especially as a first time farmer, made me so happy. another time was when you knitted me the red scarf from that kdrama, goblin. i asked since it was your first scarf and commission i had asked since that drama is deeply cherished by me.

do you wear eye-shadow? what color?

i feel i'm going to denounce my abilities to be capable as a female or even hold feminine traits, but ... i don't really pay attention to those kinds of details. i let the stylists unnies do what they feel would suit me, but i'll have a say in graphic eyeliner.

are you in love right now?

— deeply in love.

 in your opinion, is love at first sight real?

if love at first sight were real, i wouldn't be dating the person i am currently dating. i don't think love at first sight is real, mostly because, as we rely so much on our vision, we only see what is presented on the outside of a person but never truly on the inside. so i think love at first impression is more my kind of love. you fall in love with what is offered and given to you instead of the visuals.

are you an optimist, realist, opportunist, or pessimist?

optimist pessimist? is that a kind i can use? i tend to be very bright and positive, but whenever i hit these lows, i don't try to see the bright side of the situation, but more that i am hopeless to the situation and easily give into it.

first kiss details: (if you haven&rsquo;t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.)

my first kiss, with vernon was a kiss to remember. it was the middle of november, the weather began to freeze every expose skin that was presented. a november love began to bloom, a shy kind of love. this guy from seventeen kept asking me to hang out with him, to watch this and that movie of course he would say "so-so is coming btw" as if just asking didn't seal the deal. we would watch movies until we were the only ones in the room, he didn't mind being alone with me. in fact, he was very happy yet bashful. you could really tell at the manner he would fiddle his fingers. a movie that ensured our kiss was last christmas, we watched how the heroine would undergo a development of happiness and to the end, there was a little "i like you." and without even hesitating he left. but i knew how he felt. the cozy winters with vernon made me appreciate his presence, we watched every christmas movie there could be until we watched a netflix series, dash and lily. it was a love that accidentally developed, similar to ours, and vernon told me again he liked me and he said a few things that made me feel how sincere he was. and through the end of finishing our series, i gave him a kiss and told him i had fun.

do you own stickers or stationery?

i own stickers. i have a lot that i use daily. i mostly change the decorations on my phone case so it matches whatever mood i am in or what interests me currently. so far, my phone case is a collage of penguins with strawberries.

what&rsquo;s your aesthetic?

looking at pinterest aesthetics, i would say mine is cottage core. i am living my best strawberry shortcake life, yes?

do you wear dresses and skirts?

i wear dresses and skirts when i'm off work, and some skirts during work. mostly because of all the tattoos i have, especially this big one that i have on my back, but thanks to the stylists, no one can really tell what it is.

[mystic-messenger-writing]

Hey! I don't know if requests are still open but I'd like to request a hc about how the RFA+V+Saeran ,started a friends w benefits relationship and how it goes with MC. Sorry for bad english! I love ur blog btw!♥♥

Requests are permanently open so no worries my friend! This was a unique request that I enjoyed writing! Your English is a-okay and thank you for liking my mediocre blog, it means a lot to me!! Thank you for the request and I hope that you enjoy!! ^^

Yoosung

Yoosung was inexperienced with any sexual activity to say the least

He’s always wanted a partner but he’s never found the one and only love of his life

When you entered the chat room, Yoosung felt like the two of you instantly connected and wanted to have a relationship with you

But you weren’t ready for one so you and Yoosung settled on being friends for now

That is until one night you made a surprise visit to congratulate Yoosung on passing his exams when you walked into his room to find him masturbating

You instantly felt a rush of excitement to your core as Yoosung let out a yelp of surprise and embarrassment when you caught him

As the two of you looked into each other’s eyes, neither one of you cared about your friend status and made love to each other

The two of you reveled in each other’s bodies and started your friends with benefits situation to pleasure each other as yours and Yoosung’s friendship blossomed as well

After some time, Yoosung gathered the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend while being a blushing mess but you hugged him and instantly agreed, making Yoosung the happiest boy alive

Zen

Zen had been longing to find his true love for as long as he could remember

So when you first entered the chat room, he knew that you were the one, his perfect princess

He had approached you a few times about being in a relationship with him but you didn’t feel ready plus it would hurt his reputation as an actor

But deep down you felt sparks of love and wanted to be with Zen, your prince

One night when you were helping Zen go over his script for an upcoming performance, he suddenly threw the papers down and crashed his lips onto yours

Zen explained that he needed you, not caring about what your relationship status was he genuinely wanted to show you his love for you

You had no arguments against him so you wrapped your legs around his waist as Zen carried you to the bedroom to fill you with his essence

The two of you continued being friends with benefits for about three months, but Zen was about to change that as he held a promise ring behind his back as he went to your house to confess his love for his princess

Jaehee

Jaehee has never had time to deal with her own feelings as work was always too important for her to worry about it

She never found herself attracted to anyone and she was sure that no one found her appealing either

But the day you entered the chat room, Jaehee couldn’t shake the strange sensation she was feeling whenever you were there

So when she finally met you, Jaehee poured out her unknown feelings to you and you understood, she’s never been with another’s female before so she wasn’t prepared for a relationship

But the two of you felt a need to be pleasured by each other, one thing led to another and soon enough the two of you became friends with benefits

Each night you both spent exploring each other’s bodies was more one night that your feelings for each other grew stronger

Jaehee’s feelings for you would still remain a confusion for her but she would be continuously thankful to have a friend with benefit like you in her life to help her find love in girls

Jumin

Jumin was never a fan of women in general, all his life they only lied and betrayed him

So when you came into the picture, Jumin was kind to you yet still wary of your presence

Until the day he met you at the party, Jumin’s feelings for you were strange, he felt like he could trust you but he wasn’t sure if he truly loved you

So he took you home that night to his penthouse and made love to you all night long, feeling your warmth and hearing you moan his name out just made Jumin even more confused

Since he wasn’t even sure what just happened, you explained to him that you both were now friends with benefits

You asked him if he wanted to continue this type of relationship or start a true one

After consideration, Jumin wanted to keep being friends with you until he could fully understand his feelings for you, to which you agreed

You and Jumin continued being friends with benefits until he discovered his love for you where he confessed his love for you one night when he was pounding into you, making you very confused but very happy

Seven

Seven knew that because of all the sins he’s committed, he never deserved love or pleasure

He’s never felt any sort of loving connection until he met you through the messenger, then he felt a spark

You would always be kind to him and give him encouragement, something that Seven wasn’t use to but it made him feel a certain way towards you

Seven would spend hours staring at you through the cameras of your apartment, even at times shamefully masturbating by just looking at you

So when the two of you met in person, he cautiously asked what the relationship between the two of you was

You awkwardly confessed that you weren’t sure about your feelings for him and wanted to get to know him more

And by getting to know each other more, that meant having sex with each other every other day

Your friends with benefits relationship with Seven was something that you both enjoyed but each of you wanted more

Seven and you may have started out as the two of you being friends but a relationship of love was quickly developing, something that the two of you were happy about

V

V wasn’t even sure what love was after Rika left him and he knew that he didn’t deserve any love himself

He never thought he could feel any love towards anyone until you entered the chat room

Your warm heart and kind personality made V attracted to you, but it wasn’t the same kind of love he had in the past

Once the two of you met in person, V was selfish and wanted to feel you, to understand you

You felt a connection with V and the next thing the both of you knew, you were back at V’s home making love to each other on his king sized bed

When V filled you with his seeds, he collapsed on the bed confused at the feelings he had

You left his home quickly, not sure of you own feelings, but you and V frequently visited each other to pleasure each other

Being friends with benefits with you was something was V enjoyed and he felt guilty because of it since he soon developed feelings of love for you

V confessed his feelings for you and much to his joy, you told him that your feelings were the same, making V believe that having a friends with benefits relationship was one of his best decisions

Unknown

Saeran hated everyone, he thought that his brother loved him when he was younger but he was mistaken

When he picked you to go to the RFA he could of cared less about your feelings

But as he watched you, Saeran started to develop a strange feeling towards you

So he went to visit you one day after disarming the cameras and tried to look as presentable as possible

The moment you saw him, Saeran put a finger to your lips to quiet your surprise but you stared at his handsome features in awe

Words weren’t shared between the two of you as Saeran roughly pinned you to the couch and locked lips with you

Saeran was rough but loving towards you as he showed you his newfound affections to you

Once he finished filling you up with his seeds, Saeran felt too embarrassed to say anything and immediately left you confused

He came back after a few days and the two of you became friends with benefits, but you had stronger feelings towards him

After Saeran finished having another quickie with you, he was about to leave until you stopped him and confessed your feelings

Saeran admitted that he started to develop feelings for you as well and told you to wait until he could make you truly happy as he returned to Mint Eye for the first time in his life with a smile

[mc-critical]

Funny? No, not at all, but ridiculously, extremely absurd I just can't do the effort to take it seriously.

- It's so mysoginistic and the mysoginy is very direct and descriptive, which is much worse. It's one thing for you to somehow have mysoginy in your work without intending it (intent vs execution situation, it could happen and it sucks nonetheless), but consciously showing it in narrative and having your female (and male, actually, but the female especially) characters engrained in archetypes of the like is another.

- The Saint Mustafa syndrome is pretty much a given at this point in fictional interpretations, like, say, Demet Altınyeleklioglu's "Hürrem" book (he is presented as a victim of Hürrem's here as well without her being an evil caricature; btw, her Hürrem is what I could actually imagine as the historical figure, both realistic and nuanced, despite of all possible fictional "bending".). He is portrayed as distant and reserved at worst in most interpretations I've seen or read, so Mustafa himself isn't that big of a flaw in Falconer's book, for me. (though, Pavlo Zagrebelny's Mustafa is in the opposite side of the spectrum - he is utterly antagonized there and blamed for all the problems himself. Frankly, I haven't encountered any portrayal of Mustafa that doesn't jump into both extremes.)

- Yes, the omission of the other important women, is a big issue. Not only in his book, but in his book especially, because of all the mysoginy. I know this isn't their story, but why didn't Mihrimah or Nurbanu get at least a passing mention? Even Hürrem Sultan 2003 and DA's "Hürrem" could do that, why not Falconer? Oh, wait... Ayşe Hafsa's role is harmless, but truly strikingly minimal, while Mahidevran, in particular, just like all the rest, is shown as a "victim" of both Süleiman and Hürrem and there is truly nothing else beyond that (except some tiny flavors of nuance, like the mention of her wanting fancy stuff from SS once and her love for Mustafa) in THIS Mahidevran. But hey, at least she passed the bare minimum, the best character in this book and she was likeable! (she sent letters to Ibrahim and had Güzül to go to the capital at her behalf, but yeah...)

- Believe it or not, I find Falconer's Selim a fairly nuanced character with decently explained motivations (yes, I do find his conflict with Bayezid there very understandable.), but him not being SS's son and the narrative and them giving him the shortest end of the stick because of it... gives so much terrible implications. And he did it directly, some others only hinted at the possibility! I'm insanely grateful that MC didn't imply anything of the like!

- Oh, don't get me started at the unbelievable historical inaccuracies! My favourite is them marrying Hürrem after 1536/1541 and sending Mustafa to Amasya in 1553!!! Oh, and how could I forget the burning of the harem, Abbas going to set the castle on actual fire that saved only Hürrem, her maids and her other stuff!!! What was this even, honestly? They limited all the other women's political power to then unparallelingly hype up Hürrem's influence on SS, for what, mysoginy and probable theoretical satire?

- That whole story with that eunich was impossible on every level. I won't even bother commenting it, it's that much of a parody.

- Well, Falconer's Hürrem wanted to get Selim on the throne to doom the empire, so I wasn't surprised at all by that point. At least it ended on peak absurdity and after Zagrebelny's idea for Hürrem to tell SS in his deathbed that she hated him all this time (which only empowers the tragedy there, but still).. I mean, there must be something to top it, right??

- Agreed. Way too many orientalist tropes and as much racism as mysoginy.

- I didn't read the postscriptum part, I admit, but hearing it from you... yeah, I'm not surprised by a single bit. I mean, you could make such a conclusion at first, basic glance, but obviously there is far more nuance than that. And the decline of the OE was truly documented years after both the SOW and these "lazy, decadent sultans", so this is a myth at best.

My point is, no self aware writer could pull so many problematic aspects out of his sleeve and have them be so glaringly obvious and want them to be taken seriously. Is this guy this ignorant to even consider someone accepting his work as nothing, but empty propaganda? Did he think someone would truly believe SS and Hürrem and the others were like he described? This book is so full of problematic issues (ironically, the mysoginy was in conjunction with the time period) and unbelievable events that it's totally unthinkable for me to take an inch of it seriously (especially with Hü and SS) or get even remotely offended by it. I find it an extreme satire and caricature of Hürrem and Süleiman's story that enforces the ridiculous myth of Hürrem's tremendously huge influence on SS and over exaggerates her desire to get revenge.

Something I can never bring myself to understand is the MY fandom’s seeming obsession with *proving* Mahidevran or Hürrem as the more morally correct, more noble, more respect-worthy etc sultana. Or measuring whose actions and beliefs were the most justifiable or who suffered the most unfortunate circumstances. It seems to completely ignore the fact that most characters in the franchise, sans a small handful of characters, fall into the category of morally questionable or ambiguous. I feel like both Mahidevran and Hürrem are both victims to the same terrible circumstances and the enviornment in which they both lived and were forced to adapt to was a catalyst to a lot of their deplorable actions and beliefs. They both came to the palace as concubines with no family nor money to their names (I can’t recall if this was held consistent in the TV series for Mahidevran’s case or not but I know this is the case for her historically as well), both of them had their worth and their livelihood tied to their ability to produce princes and please the Sultan (who will take any opportunity to remind these women that they are a mere piece of property to him anytime they attempt to assert themselves in any way.) Then there’s the looming threat of the principle of fratricide that basically haunted them throughout the entirety of their motherhood. I’m in no way saying the immoral decisions they made was justifiable or somehow okay (Mahidevran killing Mehmet, Hürrem killing Mustafa, etc.) I just feel that there’s a lot of black-and-white thinking at play whenever the Mahi/Hürrem discourse comes up. What do you think?

Thank you for bringing this up, because it's probably the thing that bugs me the most about this fandom (outside of Tumblr currently). You voiced my overall thoughts into words so well!

I think these double standarts come from many places that can be both the only reasons for a person or just one of the many. In my experience, this "black or white", "all or nothing" attitude stems from the absolutist belief that people should pick sides and root for only one character (usually the protagonist) in a narrative. They're using the standard, superficial narrative roles of the protagonist and the antagonist in terms of Hürrem, thinking that for some reason the protagonist is always morally right in all she does, simply because she's the protagonist and we're supposed to unconditionally root for her. And if they don't like the protagonist, they choose root for "the other side" instead. They're better than that anyway, so of course, we should root for them!!

To be honest, the earlier seasons of the show make an attempt in justifying this assessment, with them having the narrative voice be rooted in Hürrem's favor, despite of all possible problematic actions that tell a different story altogether. MC Hürrem was given very understandable and sympathetic motivations, thorough character exploration, gradual character development and the privilege of far too obvious Plot Armor (make no mistake, every historical figure in the show has Plot Armor, but with the many attempts at her life, Hürrem's in particular, was way too glaring at points, sometimes to a ridiculous degree.) and the writers making her enemies doom themselves by their own failings, with her seemingly only enduring the "charade". (Valide's flanderization post-E38 is the most egregious example of this.) People I've encountered that are excusing Hürrem's behavior, are citing precisely the first episodes to present their arguments, often refusing to go beyond that. Mahidevran's motivations, while as nuanced as Hürrem's, don't seem as delved into in comparison at first (the origins and backstory of MC Mahidevran are shrouded in ambiguity, and while this is thematically appropriate for her character arc, as I explained here, it definetly doesn't help her case in bringing in more vocal sympathy.) and it could seem that her character is simply antagonistic to Hürrem, doesn't go anywhere and later revels in the depths of her ambition and wounded pride earlier than Hürrem began that similar development of hers. Some Mahi stans could see that probable difference of treatment in narrative and support her simply because of that, as well.

Assessing moral ambiguity isn't all that easy in the grand scheme of things, but it especially falls short when the narrative voice seemingly doesn't support it at first. But many miss that there's a very thin line between the actions and the narrative voice, that only turns into a very deep incongruity as the series progresses. I don't know, perhaps determing the moral ambiguity is indeed so complex, confusing and conflicting, since the whole story could get too complex and many might wonder who they'll root for now when everyone is so problematic. And that's a show that began as a simple soap opera, no less! Why would they even put in the effort in this case?

Not many people are used to ambiguous and questionable character development and are still trying to prove that there is one main positive characters in the show, which is why they try to make Mahidevran or Hürrem more morally right and justifiable than they actually are. They are so passionate about the debates they engage in, because this time period and MC is truly so ripe in analysis and it could be very fun to figure out where these characters come from and go through their 4-seasons long evolution in one chosen context, but by doing this, they so often miss the depth and nuance of the subject at hand and it all turns into a one-sided discourse that drives me nuts.

There is a historical context of the issue is also important to note, in my opinion. Both Mahidevran and Hürrem are historical figures and quite a bit of facts and deeds of theirs are now widely known. Most people in the fandom have opinions of them in advance or could've gained opinions of them a while after they began to watch the show. (There are also numerous fictional interpretations of the events during Süleiman's reign and the players in it, which may also play a part in the overall judgement.) Either way, the known historical facts about them (and other fictional interpretations one could've read, of course) could influence their points of view by a certain amount and use these general impressions to present them while analyzing the characters in the show. I've heard numerous arguments that this Hürrem isn't like the Hürrem the history knows about, that she isn't "their" Hürrem and what they read about her isn't depicted all that much in the show, which takes a lot away, according to them. I especially hate when they call MC Hürrem a one-dimensional "evil" caricature that only has vileness and smug about her, no conscience, no complexity whatsoever. (no, MC Hürrem isn't as simplistic and is much deeper and more nuanced. As far as fictional interpretations go, what they're describing is Hürrem in "The Sultan's Harem" from Colin Falconer, not MC Hürrem! In the MC/K franchise's terms, all they're doing is reducing her to the level of MCK Turhan Sultan, which is disrespectful to this character, to say the least. Turhan is the exact thematic contrast to Hürrem smh while Falconer's Hürrem is the most absurdly evil caricature imaginable, at least IMO, please and thank you!) Or even more unbelievably and outright hilariously, considering Hürrem's actions and the Sultanate of Women overall the downfall of the Ottoman Empire o.o and that's why Hürrem is so ruthless, so cruel, always intentionally, of course. This is plain ridiculous. Mahidevran, on the other hand, is presented by this clique as her "victim", as a completely innocent victim that had everything taken away from her. That Hürrem had stood between her and Süleiman and "ruined" their family. This take ignores every other factor of this falling out (Süleiman, that is) and a part of the nuance of Mahidevran's character. Reducing her to a simple "victim" doesn't cut it at all. Conversely, we have fans that simplify MC Mahidevran's character beyond every belief, loving the historical figure, but claiming they made her an "evil" and "stupid" bitch that cries and whines all the time. It's limiting and one-sided and even if it appears so, there are way far more layers to her character, that develop consistently throughout the narrative. The historical context of the time period itself is usually brought up in the debates, too, justifying whoever they want to justify by "It's a war, only the strongest ones survive!" or "You eat or get eaten! We should understand their time period, not judge by our contemporary times !", which is understandable and valid, but the only thing they end up doing is applying this logic only to their preferred characters when it should be applied to everyone. They try their best efforts to make one more morally right than the other, but they continually fail in the process, because the metric they judge them from is plagued by double standarts.

I wholeheartedly agree with you that excusing one of them, but not the other for most situations is wrong, because Mahidevran and Hürrem.... aren't all that different. What most people seem to miss, is that their character arcs are so contrastingly paralleling, because both of their endings were far from victorious and they got it for the exact same character reason, gained in a different way and in a different time. The persistent insistence of the fandom wanting a main character necessarily having a triumphant grand finale fails flat immediately, because there is no true victory in the franchise. They also miss the negative character development of both of them, them having to do the exact same stuff in many instances, both of them letting go of their pasts and/or former attachments, becoming vicious and ruthless in order to adapt to the circumstances, both of them had to make moves out of desperation because they felt threatened and they both protected their lives and the ones of their children at the end of the day. Heck, they're way more alike than they're different in my book. There is no morally right, no more noble here. Both of them had no qualms to do whatever it took to secure their own future and as you said, the narrative presented very neat motivations for them to do so as a whole. There is always a shade of grey and yes, who has the lighter shade of gray could be up for debate due to differing sympathies and perceptions, but that mustn't stop people to at least try looking at the "bigger picture" and try to view their characters with a bit more criticality, depth and respect.

Rooting for both conflicting sides is still seen as questionable and contradictory by some, but there really is nothing wrong with exploring their motivations without justifying them, no matter where your sympathies extend. I think it creates a more unbiased outlook on the both these characters and the themes around them and it's always awesome to see people doing that in any fandom, really.

And both Sultanas are worthy of respect, I said what I said.