#btw i say over 4 years but im not sure if its 4 or even much much more. its def before genshin times ofc

[enden-k]

after over 4 years one of my two lost husband is finally home (with the power of free ticket) ffs he never wanted to 💀💀💀💀

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[tiredsmashbros]

SMG34: LIPBITE COMIC WIP UPDATE

oh boy... i know a bunch of folks are hyped for this comic... and boy oh boy are ya'll's prayers going to be heard... kind of... butt for the celebration milestone, and granted majority are from this comic, i thought it was best to give EVERYTHING that i have currently.

starting off STRONG with what you freaks most want: the completed pages. andddd yep that's it that all that i have done LMAO. i've been fixated on my own smg4 oc: tsb, and during the end of my summer was unfortunately fucked over by some personal issues that fortunately got resolved last minute good grief the anxiety prevented me from drawing the gays sigh... aNYWAYS LINEART WIPS!!!!

here are linearts i have completed / in the progress of!! want to aim like i did in the past by finishing up lineart first, and then speed through with color + minor rendering. the reason i have a few colored is to test out what it would look polished and my god... i have improved A LOT. THESE GAY PEOPLE GIVE POWER I AM NOT KIDDING BELIEVE ME IM NOT CRAY- anyways onto wip pages!

jumpscare: tsb stickman sketches. oh yeah. this is how i sketch and i blame sensei eiichiro oda /j. and in case anyone is unable to understand it {i don't blame u LMAO}, smg4 wakes up from the dream and is startled to see mario by his bed. they have a short convo before mario leaves, and we get a job to smg4 in the bathroom trying to put up a brave face. until the moment he leaves he's stunned due to seeing smg3 at his front door. will i elaborate more on specifics or unwritten dialogue? NOPE! gotta keep secrets to make it even more enjoyable at the end!!

currently at 13 sketched pages total, but this is probably gonna be reaching towards 20-ish pages, surpassing part two, but it will depend on how i come up with how to end it. additionally to confirm there will be a PART FOUR / chapter 3, to end this story. my goal is to have it done before i finish my senior year, or at least during the summer after i graduate bc good lord who knows whats gonna happen.

and lastly, before i end this crazy update, SCRAPPED PAGESSS!!!!!

CONTENT WARNING : NSFW SKETCHES !!!! PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF!!!

oh boy... dont draw comics while sleep-deprived at 6am... idek what i was even aiming with this ngl other than just for fun, but i scrapped it due to not being what i had in mind for the story. if it doesn't serve a purpose or narrative, its bye bye YEAH BYE BYE THIS IS THE CLOSEST NSFW UR GONNA GET FROM ME HAHAHAHAHA- i say that despite writing a nsfw jojo wattpad smh im only confident doing it in words good lord. btw not watermarking these bc i gen don't care since they're legit scrapped {left top part was kept and completed} so idk what to do with these. im just throwing it and walkin away

now to end with this update, i can hear your question, "when will this be done?" and to answer that question: i'm not entirely sure due to my heavy focus on my smg4 oc: tsb, but my best chance is postponing my oc lore a bit and complete this before november UOIYGJDSIUHJKDWSXYUGHJKCS but we shall have too see...

if you want to join the ping list comment on this post LMAO [click]

ignore below if you're not from the tsb birthday partydddjdhdhdjd

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thurs: smg34 is canon in the tsb universe / au. though most of their encounters are platonic or best-friendy-way, they eventually express their feelings to one another and start dating 3/4’s way of the tsb storyline arc. tsb is a supporter of his friend's relationship and admires and takes inspiration from their relationship heavily to input his future love life. yearning to be in a similar position... to learn what is to really love someone... or what it's truly like to be loved...

[dutifullyfreewolf]

life is crazy isn't it

so a bit of a get to know me post but also just a rant because I don't expect anyone to actually see this.

hi, im Sirius i use He/Him pronouns and im done with America. I want to leave so bad. I don't feel safe here anymore, and i am genuinely scared about the next presidency starting in just a few days. the hope is to find some way out but on the scale of moving to an entirely different country I'm basically broke.

the hope is to move to ireland with my boyfriend but neither of us know how to make that jump. we both have only really travelled out of the country once and it was to Ireland. so yes that is part of why Ireland is the choice but it also just felt safe to both of us when we went (two separate trips a year apart btw, we didn't even know each other yet).

we are both disabled, queer, and living in the south. there are houses still decorated to celebrate the orange man and there is just a general uneasiness we both have just being out in public. I know if this post got any type of numbers there would be plenty of people saying to just move to a blue state, get out of the south, its easier. but we aren't sure that its really that much safer. the Right getting rid of federal protections for things and leaving it to the states will only last for so long, then they will just try to get rid of the rights on a federal level. its the natural next step, leaving it to the states just opens the door for a state to then be able to bring up their more restricted view to the federal level either through a new bill/law or case in the courts.

we've thought about going to ireland on a student visa but because of deadlines at earliest that would be for the 2026-2027 school year and that just doesn't seem soon enough. but other than that, neither of us have a job that could transfer us other there, or a resume that would make us stand out enough to be able to get a job out there. So the only other possible way for us to move over to irealnd or really most other countries would be asylum and that just feels like its not going to work. like who would believe people fleeing America of all places. we are seen as the country everyone wants to go to, or at least that's how it used to be. like when you think about someone going to be a refugee in another country you aren't really expecting two young adults from the southern united states. and we know that. that's part of why we haven't done it already.

we are just scared and don't know what to do. we really do fear for our lives, we are constantly scared of getting hate crimed , or of more of our rights being on the line. we don't even know if we will be able to get married. and everyone around us (family) is just acting like everything is fine. my parents voted for the man so that not a shocker there but my boyfriend's family didn't and they keep downplaying how much this could affect us and his family as a whole.

i just want to be able to get us to safety, to a place where we can feel safe or at least safer than here. but every road i look down is either a dead end or unreliable. i wish things didn't go this way, but i did all that i could do, however little that actually was.

just to not be a complete and total downer here's some more facts about me i guess:

i like D&D (monk main)

I love music (i sing and play guitar, know a bit of string bass and uke, and my number 1 artist has been Hozier for like 4 or 5 years straight now)

I crochet

I like photography

I love to read (nearly finished with my first book of the year "Doctor Sleep" by Stephen King - who also happens to be my favorite author)

I have chronic migraines, depression, ptsd, adhd, and dyslexia

i did martial arts growing up and miss it dearly

I am catholic, but have been inactive in my faith for the last year due to being kicked out of my home parish, which is also miss dearly

I have been dating my boyfriend for around 13 months now, but have known that he was "the one" since about 4 months in.(which is completely stupid, i whole heartedly believed that whole "knowing they're the one" thing was BS and then this mother fucker walked into my life/pos)

Im trans (ftm), bi, demi, and poly

I love pokemon, balatro, and Mario party (the only video games i play)

well i think thats a good start.

welcome to my page i guess.

[themindelectricdemo4]

i think to myself lke. back lke 2 year ago, im like...my friendship with my friends was so good, what happened?

really, i let myself go. i got a lot of disappointment in my regular life (couldnt get disability, more illnesses, treatment failing, family dying) i found that gong to college has helped me so much. because its like...setting a life for myself. getting a routine. having something to wake up for.

when all i wanted to wake up was for my friends, they were the brunt of everything, especially my moodiness that was becoming more & more unstable. i keep wanting to apologize but i hope i can form better wording in my head that articulates what i want to say the most (firstly that it doesnt justify my actions, and secondly, that im not crawling back to rekindle) im kind of stuck with overthnking it, so honestly.......it could be a world where i never directly apologize because i fear what my words sound like

i havent changed in that aspect in that i miss the connotation of my words often...maybe i could show it to my partner for proof reading, but i wouldnt want to involve a lot of people or anything ive accepted this is my human flaw & i continue to try & wrap my head around implications but it doesnt work. i do feel dumb ..oh well what can i do. i try to ask people to ask for clarification if they think something i said was weird (because if my intentions were mean ...i would want to make sure you knew for sure ...LOL.) but if they dont.. dont know what to do. but ive find in college, my friends ask me, they respect that, they make me feel like a human being & not some dumb (insert a barrage of slurs i could call myselfhere). self inflicted words..because i wish i could just learn social shit like a normal person & i feel dumb for not being able to mask this, or be able to study it enough to even pretend like i understand

im happy with the way my life is going now... i went to college, met my partner irl, i havent thought about genuinely kmsing myself in a good while now, like i couldnt go a month or two without planning it in my head, but im...actually doing good? its crazy...even my psych said she was so proud of me today saying she couldve never imagined me how i am today just because of how bad i was. i dont take that as a negative btw cuz thats me past tense. im proud of it.!!! really like, after whatever the fuck happened in august '23 i was like, ok. no more of this shit.

& it worked? i got all As, im in college. holy shit. the several times i would blow up on my friendsin the past into HUGE fights? the most heated i got was exactly one time where i snapped after a long day of being spoken over (by this person that i didnt particularly want to hang out with, as agreed upon with my friend because even that person agreed we didnt have a lot in common) & that...was it??? like im shocked. all my rage . gone . whar. .. & my friends are like.......they ask me what im doing/feeling based on things i do cuz they think im mad (the rbf & monotone voice) & im like oh!! oh my gosh no, im good! im sorry for worrying u & they were like oh! dw just checking. cuz i curated the baddest bitches of autistics who just get it fr . me & my current bestie we just ask each other the most blunt questions to get clarity on situations & i love that 4 us ... hes supa nice. love all my fends . but wow idk im proud of myself & this turned into a ramble where im positive cuz i was acually gettng mad at myself sadge but yea. i do wanna apologize but im afraid of being misconstrued & my paranoia over this manifests into probably never doing it. i got lving with my mother probably to blame fo r that (dont get me started on the shit she pulled over winter break that everyone in my family agrees she is ridiculous for with physical proof ok im reeling

[ace-hell]

1. I disregard the UN bc they do nothing against all the active war crimes and human rights violation that are being done by muslim countries like oh i don't know? Child brides? And SLAVERY?? Horrible executions of queer people? They don't commit at all about the genocide that happened for the past like, 100-200 years against jews all over the arab and muslim countries. They just sit there and talk and they sound like they don't k ow anything. Also btw 100 of the hamas terrorists that attacked on 7.10 graduated from the UN university for palestinians, so idk how i perceived the UN anymore besides ignorant

2. Yes nowadays israel will take control over gaza that much is true can't say i support that israel aren't made of pure gold, im pretty sure your country isn't made of angels for government. Seriously people judge israel as if all the countries in the world are pure gold hearted angels sent from heaven. Like get out of your own ass. Also ppl in the WB are not israeli citizens they are under the PA and israel gives them jobs, i would know bc the busses in center of israel-the ones israeli ppl use- are absolutely PACKED with palestinians from the WB around 6-7 am

3. Lol as european you can sit your ass down bc you are the part of the reason jews felt so unsafe they wanted a country of their own to feel safe- jews aren't colonizers- they can't be especially not white considering after the holocaust the majority of the jewish population kinda ceased to exist. You completely overlook all the mizrahi, sefardi and tzabar jews which is absolutely hilarious. You can't demand jews to "go back to the middle east where they came from"and when they do that be mad at them. Jews are indigenous, cope in silence.

Also "palestine" is a derogatory name for the land-canaan. It comes from the greek word "philistine" which technically means barbaric and from the aramic word "plishtim" which means invador. Palestinians means "barbaric invadors" so if you want to jeep calling them that have fun

4. Bro what do you want the ottomans and arabs colonized the land, the brits also did that, EVERYONE fucking colonized the land and brutally opressed the jews. You really don't know about the opression they did? Really? It didn't happen at first, no, at first they came and build muslim settlements on the land and actually loved jews,jews even worked at the royal palance at some point. but one king came up and just decided that he hates and jews and chritians

5. The first pogroms against jews started in 1908,then became worse in the 1920's. The brits actually tries to come to their aid multiple times in so many ways even opressing jews by writing 3 fucking whole books with restrictions to jews such as: limiting the amount of jews that can immigrant and forbidding jews from buying land- yes bc jews didn't come and just went house to house and kicked arabs out, they bought lands and build villages of their own. All the cities the arabs lived in are original jewish cities from thousands of years ago that they occupied. Stop denying jewish heritage, history and connection to the land you antisemite freak.

Also the nakba happened in 15th of may 1948- a day after the declaration of israel and when arabs started the 1948 war. How did you say it? That arabs were "pissed off"? Yes so the jews were also a little "pissed off" after they started a fucking WAR (surprising) with 7 other nations + the arabs within the land. Mind you A LOT of arabs fled themselves, not everyone were expelled. Wow i guess its not the first time the palis waged war on israel and started to cry when israel answered back with brutality. Also there were less than 1 million jews at the time - including elderly, children AND HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS agains millions of trained military nations and they still won.

6. Again, the nakba happened AFTER they started the war-i don't support it, i condemn it, it was horrible- so yes they could just declare themselves a country on 14th together with israel. In the israeli declaration of independence they call for peace amongst the arabs in the region and the neighboring arab countries and to that they answered with war. Not a really peaceful move ey?

7. It is, in fact, about religion. You really act so self rightous bc you truly don't understand how deep it all is. Pro palestinians march with swastikas, praise hamas, attack jews- the antisemitism is rising WORLDWIDE everytime there's something about israel. One thing you are right about- israel does not care about the ethnicity nor the religion considering there are 2.048 million arabs palestinians that are citizens that are free- they are doctors, in the knesset, they are truly everywhere and we can live with them just fine? Lol my dentist is a palestinian arab. Oh wow and lets not talk about the beduins and druze, fucking hell they are more zionists than a lot of jews that i encountered with- they serve in the IDF wholeheartedly and oppose the sharia laws that the palestinians support and know what hamas, isis and all the terror organizations are. You TRULY don't understand anything about israel

I recommend you to listen to Yusuf mosad hassan, he is a son of one of the head leaders of hamas- he was a terrorist that served 2 years in the israeli prison fully believing whatever propaganda you say, he was raised in ramallah IN A SCHOOL FOR SHAHID since he was a CHILD after he was released he walked around israel streets in tel aviv and got the shock of his life and now he is super pro israeli.

You really suppose to have a bigger insight over all that instead of seeing posts like the og posts that are just straight up BS and lies. Cheers

[dolokhoded]

hii this is the-reynolds-pamphlet (this is my main and i cant get rid of it LMAO im not active on here)

re what you said about the s4 pacing. LITERALLY i wrote that whole other post as an answer to another ask i got about how the chosen's storyline really sucks in some aspects and i said the pacing is going to be incredibly off for season 4

okay first of all. there's a huge timeline issue in season 3 concerning the holidays and how much time passes since season 1, i was gonna make a whole other post about all the timeline inconsistencies but i didnt get around to doing it (i probably should). but like at this point it has been one year minimum since s1, realistically it should be three years if the end of season 4 is palm sunday. then like ??? theyre gonna spend the entirety of s5 on ONE week? and for fucking what. i thought they wanted a "bingeable" proper show with pacing and everything, why would they zero in on that

but anyways about ramah. first of all im 99% sure it's because her actress has schedule conflicts and likely wants to drop out of the show (that's why she mysteriously left to go talk to her dad in season 3). but also it's kind of obvious that they're using her death as character development for thomas for the rest of the series (which is gonna be like 2 weeks maximum over 3 seasons anyway. unless they continue onto acts but that poses another huge pacing problem.) which is pissing me off like?? i had the same reaction when tamar was acting weird for like one (1) episode and then she told mary everything and just left. why would you not give them proper character development established over a long period of time and just confine it to singular episodes like that. im pretty sure tamar's backstory won't be brought up again lmao. also ramah doesn't really have much of a personality (which sucks because i got the impression she was a bit of a rich daddy's girl and there was potential for character exploration) and her character hasn't even been that established so like... partially it's easy to kill her but on the other hand, it isn't as emotional especially bc she wasn't even here the last season.

also remember how in the other post i was like why are they literally giving consistent character arcs and emotional plot for matthew, mary, simon & eden, and james & john but theyre basically forgetting everybody else exists. yeah like james just fucking launches himself at someone and gets knocked out in season 4 which is great but how long are they going to be just keep throwing new arcs for the main cast and keep ignoring thaddeus' existence. btw i watched a clip of That Scene in s4 (i didnt realize what it was when i was watching it lmao) with thaddeus and james and they're basically asking jesus why he's talking about dying. so thaddeus stays personalityless while big james is over there getting concussions #maincharacter. im not saying that scene w/jesus isnt necessary but im saying its thad's big scene and it is once again about Not thaddeus

this entire thing is incredibly bizarre to me because they COULDVE made an actual show with fleshed out characters and everything ??? they confined themselves to 8 1-hour long episodes per season, which of course restricts how much storytelling they can do while keeping in all the major gospel events they need to put in. but like first of all they couldve Not Done that. i think their audience wouldve gone insane for more episodes. second of all, if they WERENT gonna carry on character arcs and give everyone a fleshed out character then why did they introduce them as such??? i mean it was probably because they wanted to spark interest and then just forget about it but that kind of sucks. why did they do this lmao they literally had the opportunity to make it better

ok v rushed reply cause i have to go to the library the bus is coming in 15 minutes which means all the law students are leaving which means empty spaces BUT

you're so right the chosen's timeline is fucked up atp i can't really tell when it's been a day or a week or like. a couple months it's. i dont understand what theyre doing and why theyre doing it like this. cause like. even the characters who do have decent arcs like matthew and simon peter and james and john are not being developed properly cause the timing is so goddamn off. and i Know that in this new season they're gonna try to make john like Rise Above and start to kind of live up to his name as the favorite and have more understanding of jesus' teachings while james doesn't which is very stupid to me cause like. When. i think it was last season that this guy was bragging about getting to plough a field. how are they going to have john transition into one of the most competent disciples just. doesnt make sense.

and ALSO !!!! the reason all of these arcs are being so rushed is because they never get a break because as you mentioned literally nobody else gets any character developement. i wanna see more of thad. and little james. and nathanael while we're at it, and zee, and philip, and mary and tamar's friendship. why are they just throwing shit in there and never expand on it at all, unless you're thaddeus, in which case you don't even get that.

also i have a.,., suspicion, kind of, on where they're going with big james, and i can't be entirely sure, i'm not saying i'm correct, but just in case. Leave Tamar Alone ! i'm begging you ! dallas ! leave tamar alone ! not every single one of your female characters needs a romantic subplot ! i know big james is pretty and you want to give him a love interest so the repressed christian women in your audience keep watching your show, i see him, but for the love of christ actually ! leave tamar alone ! i know that if this happens you're only going to utilize her character for romance LEAVE TAMAR ALONE !!!!

[cakejerry]

Persona first batch of listens thoughts. Did not look at the lyrics for any of these btw.

1. The who am i skool luv affair intro SAMPLE is genuinely a banger. Glad they brought it back although it does seem kinda cheap to bring up your old albums like that when its not even like they're leeching off of their old fame, or promoting a song that they think deserved more, because they make it very clear they don't consider anything pre-2015 canon but... Sure. Sell the "we're proud of our roots" story. Namjoons flow actually brings to mind haruman, for some reason. Im sure someone out there was gagged at his improvement over the years. Him refusing to use coherent english is certainly a choice. Also the song is too long.

2. Same issue with the self-referencing. Several white woman related problems i mentioned earlier. Just confused and personalityless, which is ironic. Do you want to be korean or american???? Choose, greedy. Makes me feel nostalgic, which might just be because I'm pissed about the direction they're taking in general. "Modeunge geumgeumhae hajilte" "YOUR ONE YOUR TWO" Jungkook randomly glew up in the mv I will have to investigate this further....... Im mad asfk about how attractive I find him btw. Yoongi just doing whatever in his verse ohhh he hates white people. Mv is literally so confused with its concept, 2012 sm-level box sets, when they promoted themselves with this deeeeep jungian philosophy, please. Just funny and shameless.

3. I was actually expecting to be so gagged by souju especially since sakura said she loved it but its a SKIP. ITS A SKIPPER. ITS A SNOOZER FOLKS. A gift for the fans, was it? Why it's so beloved is beyond me. Literally a tear reject, sounding like magic shop. Sounding like the ost for a random webtoon actually but FROMIS_9 did that better with LOVE ME BACK so. Byeolbit part kinda catchy but not enough to not skip the song. "Shine dream smile" okayy i bring wind sunlight water. "Nanana" ohh bts you are on a downward spiral and you don't even know it

4. Am actually kinda GAGGED over the make it right sample/riff ngl! Gaslight potential. On loop for 8 hours while I look at spreadshees potential. It reminds me of something and i cant put my finger on it. Sounding like a girlgroup song probably im ngl. Was eddy boy on this one? He slayed so hard I almost forgave him for plagiarising April's snowman (cakejerry 2017 twitter reference, don't worry about it.) "I can make it better i can hold you tighter" okurrrr shawn mendes!!!!!!!!! I know jungkook was cheesing

5. Another tear reject, was it? Wasnt 'crazy for myself' an army meme or something, whatever. Rhyming rich and switch? Okayy inna up. Your love- I want that? Okurrrr ariana grande 7 rings!! Why that "naega" sounding a bit.... The houoououm part sounding like the average song that would be playing on mtv, oh bts you're so done

6. Jamais vu NOW OKAY THIS IS A REALL SNOOZER. And also another tear reject ctfuuu they really had a signature sound during this period didn't they. And it was TRASH. Sounding like an ending credits song for an episode of Grey's anatomy.

7. And the grandiose DISAPPOINTMENT. Dionysapppintment lol. Everyone gagging over this one i thought they were actually gonna serve rock realness when all they served was a seo taiji reject.... And again with the "haters"... Bts got more imaginary haters than itzy in 2019. Massyeo part kinda okay. Did jungkook just say he was feeling saucy???? FFFFFA- Wait hoseok just slayed omg okurrr onomatopoeia!!!! Is this supposed to be like the mic drop of the album?... Okay... Whateva that means. Brings to mind the injustice 6.5 faced but whatever. Wow you can actually almost hear an instrument here at the end. Bros think they rockstars 😭😭😭😭 okurrr opening song for a korean remake of a random flop japanese shonen anime from the 1990s!!

[sobrietywithnobullshit]

My First Post (intro); TW: drug use & addiction.

sigh I always start things i don't finish, so this blog will probably be just another unfinished project that i forget about in a month. Sorry for the pessimistic outlook- it's a big habit of mine. Along with many more. This is going to be a semi long intro so bare with me.

So let's start this out typical. Hi my name is Sam and i'm an addict. Going on 8 years now. It's probably more like 10..ish. I say 8 though because there was a point in between using for fun and needing to use daily without getting sick, where i was sober for like a little over a year. So 8 years works for me.

Choice of drug: heroin, opiates, and most recently the antagonist in this story- fentanyl. Which is quite ironic i phrase it that way because they use antagonists to reverse the effects of opioids. If i had a choice, i would have never started using fet at all but these days that i all one can find. Besides that flesh eating shit, don't get me started on that lmfao. I have been lucky enough to not run into it- yet. Plus i don't shoot (i am terrified of needles) i snort. So my skin is safe for now lol. I also have been lucky enough to have never overdosed. Or die in that case. So praise the lawd.

Let's cover recent events that made me start this blog. About a month ago i entered a detox facility about 3 hours from where i live. I drove myself and stayed for a little over 5 days. Then left. All of you reading are probably like WHAT THE FUCK BRUH you were sooo close. Trust me i know. There was alot that happened there that was so unhealthy and ill make a post about all that shit later, but to sum up how i felt there besides sick from withdrawals, i felt like a damn science experiment.

Cut to two days later me wanting them to take me back and they wouldn't unless i started on suboxone (which i didnt want to again ill explain more about all this in another post). This time my parents drove me fucking 3 hours there and back for nothing. About a week or so later i entered a rehab facility 4 and a half hours from where i live. I drove myself again. I was under the assumption it would be guys and girls (it wasn't). There were alot more things i assumed and it wasn't the case. This will also be another post. But i left 24 hours in due to safety issues and drugs literally in the facility. Which was partially my fault.

Okay so my recovery hasn't been so good. I am currently using still and felt overwhelmed for about a whole month. I kept telling myself okay i will call the new rehab tomorrow. Then tomorrow turned into a month. I didn't even realize i was doing it until a month went by.

I have found a new detox facility a bit closer to home..2 hours lmao. I live in the middle of nowhere btw. So 2 hours is nothing, i drive two hours to get my fix every week so.. no big deal. Except this one was super hard to find because the name of it wasn't anything to do with detox or heroin or ya know. I'm not sure if i am going to be accepted or if they have an opening yet because i haven't called. And im not going to until i have everything in my life in order. They also have a really nice rehab that IS coed. It's also not in a hospital, its more holistic.

So that is where im at currently. I probably will call them on monday or tuesday of next week. I had to get some cash together, my clothes washed and packed, and i also had some random shit coming in the mail that i knew would get stolen if i didnt wait. But for the most part- everything is in order. So next week i could be getting clean again for the 4th time.

So this is me. Im sam. Which i should mention isn't really my name haha. But it is my favorite name. Always love samantha from totally spies. Maybe when i start getting clean and actually have more than 5 days, i will reveal my ugly mug. Thought about starting a tiktok but who knows. Social media has never really been my thing. But you know that because im literally starting a blog on tumblr i 2023 lmfao.

Anyways, sorry for the horrible format. Just kind of writing this spur of the moment. Just wanted to introduce myself. This blog will be about my sobriety journey with no fucking bullshit. That's one thing i hate. When people get clean and they pull the omggg jesus saved me. Or they get clean and forget that dirty part of themselves. I never want to forget this part of me because it's made me who i am. I will never be ashamed of that.

Talk soon. Please be safe out there. Message me if you need anything. It gets better.

xoxo sam

[stayxlix]

Ok I’m back writing :)

Seungmin and mc :( I hope they have a really good friendship. He's so puppy here :(

“You examined him, unable to help but notice that the way he held himself didn't quite match the others. That his posture was just slightly straighter. How he held his head just a little bit higher.” WATCH MINHO BE MC’S LONG LOST BROTHER OR SOMETHING

BUT I’M LIKE 78% SURE HE’S A DISTRICT 9 BABY

“He jogged over and plopped down on your other side, lightly brushing your shoulder with his own as he tossed a bottle to Chan over the fire.” Giggling rn. (get it together Julian)

Hsjcaksjcc Pls what does mc feel for Jisung lmao😭 let’s work on lix first 😂

Mc better not say/do some dumb shit while drunk btw😃

“…and Seungmin lay against the ground with his eyes closed, humming out a wistful melody in perfect pitch.” MY BABYYYYYY

“…found Yellow Wood nearly five years ago.” You made it 5 I want to cry now. Woah, I’m feeling so many emotions rn

“…as Felix stared daggers at Jisung.” WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON SJDJVBFJ MC WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A LOVE TRIANGLE

“Brown eyes had always been your favorite…” THANK YOU BC YES

"Don't blame me, District nine over here can drink!"Jisung pointed to where you sat behind him and you shoved his shoulder.” I actually adore him

“-y/n just go. I know you want to. I won’t tell.” He put a finger to his lips…” I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WANT TO KEPP HIM AS MY BEST FRIEND I LOVE HIM

“Immediately upon turning the corner at the top of the stairs you, let out a small yelp when you were encompassed by a pair of strong arms from behind.” I don’t even know what to say any more I’m so gone for this character bruh

The worldbuilding for the hotel is simply immaculate by the way. You managed to describe both it's ruin and it's beauty while still maintaining that the characters do not understand what such a building would be used for

after a busy day im finally sitting down for the evening to jump back into this (okay in reality its almost midnight) but either way i cannot WAIT🤭 so lets get started...

"WATCH MINHO BE MC’S LONG LOST BROTHER OR SOMETHING" "BUT I’M LIKE 78% SURE HE’S A DISTRICT 9 BABY"

SCREAMING WHEN I READ THIS. i know i gave hints here but ig i didnt think anyone would actually figure out that he was from district 9…or at least bother to let me know that they did (on my knees apologizing for not giving you enough credit omg) not that im surprised at all that you figured it out IMMEDIATELY bc im starting to think you know this story better than i do....

"Hsjcaksjcc Pls what does mc feel for Jisung lmao😭 let’s work on lix first 😂" "WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON SJDJVBFJ MC WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR A LOVE TRIANGLE"

lmao me to myself when jisung comes out of nowhere to bias wreck me on the daily like its his job (im loyal to felix i swear🫠)

"Mc better not say/do some dumb shit while drunk btw😃"

depends on your definition of dumb shit...

"You made it 5 I want to cry now. Woah, I’m feeling so many emotions rn"

i love skz so much okay😭😭 SO PROUD OF THEM FOR 5 YEARS😭 my babiessss ugh (it makes me so happy that you saw what i was trying to do here and found the meaning in this🥹💕)

"The worldbuilding for the hotel is simply immaculate by the way. You managed to describe both it's ruin and it's beauty while still maintaining that the characters do not understand what such a building would be used for"

and this right here. giggling and kicking my feet rn because you have no idea how much i procrastinated this part (among several others in this chapter) like when i tell you there were certain parts that i STRUGGLED with it absolutely includes trying to put into words the whole vibe i was going for with the hotel. so once again you have managed to write such thoughtful commentaries on some of the parts that i was most insecure about and i am forever thankful for that.🥹💕 like beyond words at this point.💕💕

lets head on over to part 4 yeah? ngl im excited for this one..

[khorneschosen]

Oh I see the caps lock have already come out. Im making a prediction now either some personal trauma that justifies treating men like you do or uet more bad studies.

Based on the loosest definition possible? Again you didn't separate it out by offense you kept the 1/4 because isn't that sexy statistic, because again, truth doesn't matter, fear does.

Which only serves my point, even if the data was good (and it really isn't, frankly the data you are quoting from, but not citing is so bad it serves as the calling card of the declining standards of academia.)

Also with a few billion of us on this earth, I would be shocked if a man didn't kill a woman every day on earth and vice versa.

Again, notice the fear mongering.

This one doesn't even cite anything but truthfully, isn't even one, a serious problem to be addressed? At this point ill point it if it isn't fear mongering. Easier on me to just put a fm

Of course, we ignore most of the male victims female rapists, of course its worse. Fm

And yet its an entire system that says "men can't be raped by women" because even a biased court, isn't biased enough so long as defendants have any rights. Fm.

Would be terrible if one day you found out what you said wasn't true and in your pursuit of justice you sent alot of innocent people to prison to be raped and abused by rapists and murderers. Or would it?

Because Johnny was in an abusive relationship and you are philosophically incapable of recognizing male victims and female abusers. Not fear mongering but just pure hysteria at this point.

Love that because hollywood is a bunch of hypocritical pedophiles when it comes to the "talent" the person to blame is not the producers, agents and etc, but all of men. Completely fair and really sane takes right now.

Again see above. It's not fear mongering but just how that den of corruption operates.

Youtuber does insane shit, up to including mock executing his friend because it gets clicks and you think that is a statement on all men?

Again you cite celebrities in a bubble that feeds on sensationalism, while ignoring how it relates to men and women in general.

Ive heard your lessons. Over. And over. And over. And over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Men are to blame. Men are evil. Men are dangerous. Men are the problem. Over and over and over. It's why I was able to predict this mostly pretty well. I didn't expect the celebrities because frankly they are absurd examples to use about societal problems when they can be problems of certain institutions.

But what have you missed? That when a woman rapes or abuses her partner, she may as well have what those cunts in hollywood have, immunity from scrutiny.

In the UK by law it is not considered a crime.

By the letter of federal and many state laws, not a crime in the us.

Not even an assault charge in India.

And so on and so on it goes.

The fear, the hysteria, the victim mentality used as cover and sanction give to the exact kind of predators, you pretend to fight against.

I'm not telling you my personal story. But when it happened to me, by someone old enough to have known better I went through the exact process you are describing, because I was a man. No one batted an eye at downplaying what happened to me. Even my therapist I had seen for years told me to get over it.

Don't try and give me your empathy now btw. I won't accept it. I don't want your sympathy or a shoulder to cry on, I want you to stop demonizing my entire sex long enough that people can work to make sure that justice is served to the people going through what I did. I don't need your sympathy, I want my justice. I will have the justice I was due.

And the first part of that is breaking the back of feminism which has spent its entire life as a philosophy to enable, sanction, down play and everything else that happened to me for the sake of the fear mongering. Before you try to lie to me now, it has and unless you address that has done just that, save your excuses. I have heard the thin, gaslighting your kind has given me in the past, all it will do for me, is deepen my hatred of your philosophy of fear.

I too, am tired of teaching people who aren't just getting but won't because their own fear is more important than any justice and anything that threatens their fear can not be permitted.

You can't get it because it's more important to you, to be afraid than to be just. You have conditioned yourself out hearing the screams and seeing the pain.

But hey prove me wrong.

the story of tatsuya ishida is truly tragic because i can believe the guy startd from a genuine place of wanting to engage with feminism

the problem is that the framing of it was inherently conspiratorial and tinged with a heavy dose of guilt and self loathing

and that is just not a good foundation upon which to build a sane ideology and understanding of the world and so inevitably went from that, though this

and it ended up leading to this:

he is like the textbook case of the radfem to fascist pipeline. because the guy has been making comics every day for decades in here we have a perfect, methodical and granular dissection of how the process happens.

it truly is a tragedy

[apricotluvr]

.

[brokenstrings]

Yo could I request breakup headcannons with jinx, Vi, Caitlyn and Viktor where their s/o breaks up with them.

Don’t feel like u have to answer if your too busy :)

:rolling over to you in my blanket burrito: tysm for this i was bored hhhh

oh btw can you believe it guys christmas just in two days christmas is in two days woohoo i am so happy about this information /ref

on christmas eve and christmas i’ll try to write something winter themed if i remember to 😭

Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn and Viktor when their s/o suggests they should break up

Jinx

She gets super attached super easily so even if it was for about a week she’ll be super sad when you suggest this

Even if it’s ’lets just be friends’ which is my favorite vocaloid song /j she’ll be really shocked and by this

”Wh- You wanna… Break up with me?”

The voices get really loud, she can’t even attempt to block them out;

”It’s your fault. They hate you. They lied to you. You’re a failure.”

”No no no I’m not, I’m sure it’s not just me shut up shut up SHUT UP!!”

She tries her absolute best to get you to stay, shes crying and grabbing your hand, yelling and pleading

“Please bubs, you’re all I have left… PLEASE!!”

If her convincing works and you decide to stay in a relationship she sits you down with you and talks about if she did anything wrong and how she should change

If it doesn’t work, there’s only a 3/10 chance you’ll be able to salvage a friendship from it, to her; you left her, she trusted you, you broke it

Vi

She loved you a lot, she was the one that suggested a relationship, once you tell her it’ll hurt but she gets it

”Oh… Well yeah, we can split up, can we please stay in touch though?”

She doesn’t want to lose you 100% but she’s okay with just being friends, she has a replacement cupcake afterall :I am pointing at caitlyn: /j

If you do end up wanting to leave her 100% she’ll let you it’s just…

You took away around 4 years of her life and gave her about 5 1/2 grey hairs /hj

Shes emotionally fucked up by you leaving her 100% but if it’s just be friends its only 35%

Vi doesn’t quickly rebound afterward, it takes her about a month to actually get over you then ofc she has to find another cupcake :squeezing caitlyn and she squeaks like a dog toy: like that one /j

She wants to know what she should refrain from doing when you’re friends, wanting to keep you comfortable

”So is there some things I should stop while we’re friends?”

”Excuse me ’while?’”

“Yeah 👦👍”

She still calls you cupcake, she doesn’t care about that unless you say

“Vi istg if you don’t Q U I T T H A T.”

Caitlyn

:i am looking at episode 8: HAHAHAHAHA #SMILETHRUDAPAIN

If it’s a let’s just be friends situation that’s completely different but AHAHAHAH-

If you pull a “oil and water 💔⛓🥀 we r not meant to be cupcakke 😢😔” (im so sorry for this one sentence) she’s devastated

Dude she takes like a whole year to recover it hurt her so badly

Listens to sad Adele, Taylor Swift, and Mitski songs in the shower to cope with it

If it’s just be friends she ju- why is little miss perfect playing which one of you /hj

She thinks of all the memories she has of the relationship and tries to think of things she did wrong, she thinks it’s all her fault

She’s happy to be your friend and is happy you didn’t abandon her though;

”You’d like to just be friends? That’s… Yeah that’s okay, I’m sorry if I did anything to make you really uncomfortable, I swear I’ll be more careful in the future.”

She passively tries to get you two back into a relationship sometimes, like passive flirting

Like one day you’re talking abt your favorite Taylor Swift song or sm idfk and she says

”I‘d like to say that you remind me of last great American dynasty or the 1 maybe?”

”The 1?”

”…Yes.”

If that works she is so proud of herself for that

If it doesn’t end up working and she has to rebound it takes her so long

You’ve already had 2 different partners and then she finally comes up like

“Hey this is my new gf Vi” /hj

Viktor

Man I don’t wanna see him sad :sits link shinji from that one scene of evangelion: /jov

He’s hurt, even if it’s “Wanna just be friends?” He needs some time to process it

”Excuse me? Uhm… I- Heh…”

Once he’s collected he‘ll try to hold back any negative emotion, not wanting to make you feel bad for this

”I see why you want to and I’m fully fine if we separate.”

The second he leaves the room and is alone he’s sobbing to himself

”I can’t have one thing go right with other people can I?! Why me?!” He’s whispering stuff like that to himself, he’s a mess

After about a week or two of being split up he’s more comfortable around you, he just needed some time to recover from the breakup

During his time of being more comfortable, he’ll sit down with you and discuss why you think the relationship wasn’t going good

”So why did you break up with me? I’m sorry this is awkward but I’ve been wondering it, I didn’t see many problems while we were together.”

Once you explain he agrees it’s better if you stayed separated for the time being

He has no interest in rebounding unless the other person initiates it, meaning he might not get a partner at all afterwards

mmm we r loving the angst

THE STARY OF CAITS IS SO FUNNY IM SO SORRY,,,,, SAME WITH SOME PARTS OF VI’S IM TIRED IDK

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

HEYY... WHAT'S UUUPP... ITS MEEE...... /ref

UM. UUHH IM. i was thinkin like... jasper, emme, and ra1nb0w find out abt grey's little crush and they all decide "ok we're gonna help him but also tease him until he dies. we will NOT live this down" WAHDHAHHAHAH

grey probably didn't even tell them, they just knew by the way he looked at jett... like maybe jett's just playing with evui, and grey's just staring at him with a silly smile on his face and doesn't realize until emme points it out and she's just like "OOOOH YOU LIKE HIM!!!!"

once jasper finds out he tells steven and they're just like "aw, reminds me of us when we were younger..." so obviously they're not gonna let them make the same mistake that they did (it literally took steven and jasper like 4 years to get together) so. everyone's trying to set them up on dates (and FAILING)

maybe half of the group tries to help grey confess while the other half tries to help jett.... and it usually just goes like:

Emme: So I got this amazing plan!

Grey: We fail almost every time you say that.

Emme: Well, this is the same! But with Shinto involved.

Grey: WHAT. NO.

they are all so silly I LOVE THEM ALL

i didn't even have to read the ref indicator because i immediately read this with the devil in mind thank you for being so cultured AHHAAHHDHAHJAHSJSJSJA

I SNORTED WHEN EMME SAID "SHINTO IS HERE BTW" hes like EMME. WE TALKED ABOUT THIS-

im 1000 precent sure emme sides on grey to push him closer to jett because she pulls out the "i totally know grey card" (is failing to convince him anyways) we love a superfail girlie she's more pressuring when it's grey but if it's jett she'll probably treat him like, extremely gentle because "grey wants to kiss this one. be nice" AHHSHSHAHAHAHHSH sometimes she's too obvious like.

e: alright grey, what's your favorite color.

g: , i-i, i don't know but maybe blu-

e: AHA JET BLACK. LIKE JETT. THAT GUY OVER THERE. they say your favorite color is your favorite person too

e: ..... wait do you like green also

g: EMME WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

OK BUT JASPER ANS STEVEN HAVING A LITTLE NOSTALGIC MOMENT LIKE aww steven remember when we were like this?? and steven's like don't remind me, it was so hard to not think about you without telling and yk that cute back and fourth EEEEEEEE!!!! but now they just like to watch grey and jett 🥺🥺

[houseofbrat]

I will start by saying thank you. Im not sure what your stance is on this covid situation. My msg might be all over the place sorry. My feelings on this whole covid shit is everywhere. Second, Im about to flip out over more lockdowns. Third, in the trauma center I work at, I work in the ED where we have two separate departments—pediatrics and adults. I work for both. We are still seeing patients pop positive even when they have been fully vaxxed plus a booster and others that have popped positive (asymptomatic) but had covid 4 months prior but are fully vaxxed. This omicron variant, is more contagious but its not deadlier than the delta.

We are exhausted. Everyone is. I am fully vaxxed plus a booster but I did not want to get fired for not getting vaxxed because I care for my patients and this is what I love doing. I wanted to keep my job. Too many nurses walked out and these patients need nurses to care for them. Ofcourse it’s important to get vaccinated however, Im personally over getting any more boosters. People are still getting sick. Yes, I wear a mask everywhere I go and I havent had covid this entire time.

Within the last few months, Ive seen more kids are get infected. In the beginning back in 2020, almost no kid was tested for covid. But now, atleast half of our pediatric unit upstairs has covid+ kids and some are being moved to the intensive care units.

At this point, covid is the new flu. Its going to keep mutating. Lockdowns are pointless. We are double—sometimes triple masking, double gloving, face shields, gowns and nurses are still getting covid. We. Are. Done.

Our economy cant take it, our hospitals cant take it. At what point do you just say fuck it all? We cant keep locking countries down. I know, I know, this is bad coming from a nurse but so many of us are tired. I just watched 3 of my nurses get covid and were out for a week and theyve been fully vaxxed. All this “4th booster possible” is such horseshit. I know I seem all over the place with my feelings but I just say get vaxxed then be done and enough of the lockdowns. Let it run its course.

I will tell you right now, covid was no doubt here in the US in 2019. WITHOUT A DOUBT. Get vaxxed and let the shit run its course. Lockdowns wont stop anything. So yes, I am pro-vax, but enough of the lockdowns. I have always warn a mask since becoming a nurse so masks dont bother me.

I could vent some more but thats what I have at the moment.

Part 2

Yes, covid is real. But its the new flu. The government needs to get over it and stop with the lockdowns. Again, Ive worn masks since I began working in hospitals……I mean Im literally the first healthcare worker these patients see when coming into a hospital and some people that come through those doors are just sick as can be and Id rather not get whatever they have. (The mask also protects my identity as we have behavioral health patients that come through the doors and they will take pictures of us and stalk us (which they have done). A nurse a few years ago, was stalked by a behavioral health patient and that patient waited for her in the parking lot one night, smashed her head open with a crowbar and she later died in the ICU. That was definitely not the 1st nurse who has been attacked by a patient.)

But back to covid. The lockdowns are pointless. If you are asymptomatic, yes you can still pass it on but that should not restrict you from traveling. Its getting ridiculous at this point. If you arent vaxxed and dont want to be thats your choice. I am pro-vax, always have been. Im telling you first hand that people are still getting sick (vaxxed or not). I dont always wear a mask when Im out and about but this virus is here to stay and the governments cant keep shutting down the countries. I dont judge anyone who wears or doesnt wear a mask. Its a choice. Build the immunity and move forward. We cant keep shutting down.

I work in Massachusetts btw. We would not be here if the country just shut down when the immunologists were warning of a crisis. We shut down too late. Hell immunologists warned the hospitals in December 2019 that something bad was coming and management, supervisors, CEO etc laughed. January came around, they knew something was happening. Beginning of February, nurses were demanding a shut down to limit the spread and keep current patients safe. Nobody listened then all hell broke loose and now look where we are.