#btw i am so sorry if someone already said that
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willtheweirdrat · 1 year ago
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"Ableds shouldn't baby talk disabled people cause it's infantilizing" and "Some disabled people need things to be explained to them in an easier to understand way" are thoughts that CAN and SHOULD co-exist.
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james-spooky · 3 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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crystalkitty1220 · 7 months ago
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
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#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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starboundsingularities · 10 months ago
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good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder
#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess
7 notes
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🥚 eggvidenced Follow
honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
date posted: june 23, 2010
1,834,853 notes
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⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though
🧊 just--ice Follow
okay now they're just making lawyers up
#also didn't mvk die or something?
28,932 notes
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🔥 triedbyfire Follow
why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder
🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow
so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit
🔥 triedbyfire Follow
are you gonna address the copaganda thing or
1,092 notes
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🌻 attorneybout Follow
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he's so. 😳
📂 trialanderror Follow
why is he defending
📂 trialanderror Follow
OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???
24,374 notes
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🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow
i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all
🥜 liberdeez Follow
op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.
🔐 wrightorwrong Follow
hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!
🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow
net 0 information post
#thanks again lawblr
94,834 notes
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🍒 cherriescoola Follow
btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life
2,284 notes
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🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow
December 28, 2016
YES!!!
702,947 notes
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🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow
guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do
🔪 violencekilling Follow
you gotta let him rob you that's the law
302,948 notes
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👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow
look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name
💼 courtofwaw Follow
bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late
62,193 notes
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📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited
#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore
7,293 notes
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🐺 lawnewolf Follow
i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs
🌈 lawsbian Follow
the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)
🐺 lawnewolf Follow
YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.
12,293 notes
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🔮 inhighspirits Follow
why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy
837,495 notes
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💞 lawveyourself Follow
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seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree
💞 lawveyourself Follow
what do you mean evidence fraud
503,893 notes
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🎧 instrumentalillness Follow
fuck you *unguilties your love*
384,568 notes
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🎀 copiicat Follow
perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me
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astonmartinii · 6 months ago
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girl, so confusing | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem norris!reader
will "norstappen" will work it out on the remix?
note: obvs everything here is hearsay and all a big fat joke i am just venting my frustrations with whatever the fuck lando just said after that race
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR |
- part of the brother's best friend series -
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 783,049 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: we don't just let people by because we have a big lead in the championship (that's actually how you end up with a big lead) btw.
view all comments
user5: WELCOME BACK OUTWARDLY BITCHY Y/N I'VE MISSED YOU
user6: the atmosphere shifted, my skin has cleared and the birds are singing
user7: i didn't think it would be against her own brother BUT WE'LL TAKE WHAT WE CAN GET
maxverstappen1: can you do all my media for me - you give a lot better sound bites than i ever could
yourusername: all my sound bites would be completely unusable
yourusername: cause if they thought you had a potty mouth oh boy they have another thing coming
danielricciardo: it's true i was around her when she stubbed her toe once, it was like shakespeare but concerning
alexalbon: or that one referee against chelsea, i've never heard so many creative insults
maxverstappen1: okay but my thoughts exactly
yourusername: twitter would cancel me baby
maxverstappen1: everyone wants cunty f1 back until i make contact and you ... open your mouth?
user8: not like all of lando's friends either being in the likes or the comments
user9: bro is fighting for his life in the GC after that press run
user10: i think y/n got all the sass cause lando that was not the diva statement you thought it was
landonorris: before you delete i already sent it to mum
yourusername: i'm not deleting it you big baby you gotta stand on your words bro
landonorris: nuh uh
yourusername: i can feel you pouting YOUR 24 YEARS OLD
landonorris: but i'm still your baby brother
yourusername: not with this PR strategy
landonorris: MAX WAS IN THE WRONG
yourusername: 1. i watched the ten laps before lando i'm not dumb 2. i support his rights and wrongs 3. you still won driver of the day and i thought that's what meant the most to you
user11: oh she gagged him
user12: can we get a rupaul's drag race reading challenge in f1 but it's just y/n reading the drivers PLEASE
charles_leclerc: literally all you have to do is spend 10 minutes with her in the paddock
maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,304,599
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: still got my favourite norris on side and that's all that matters
view all comments
user13: someone check on lando cause DIVA IS DOWN
user14: diva is dead and buried at this point
user15: they're dancing on diva's grave
landonorris: DO YOU PEOPLE MIND ???
maxverstappen1: who is this random fan in my comments?
landonorris: i'm definitely not a fan of yours after this weekend
maxverstappen1: oh then let me add you to my block list
charles_leclerc: i thought unfollowing each other after a race in austria was our thing max :(
maxverstappen1: yes that's why i'm going to block him not just unfollow
charles_leclerc: oh good 😊
yourusername: and that's why i'm ready to get rid of the name altogether
maxverstappen1: i think you suit verstappen so much more anyway
yourusername: i'm ready when you are
landonorris: really? ENGAGEMENT TALK ON A POST THAT DISSES ME
yourusername: a diss? you don't want your sister to be happy? or am i not your sister anymore since max isn't your friend anymore?
landonorris: IT WAS ONE QUOTE LIKE TEN MINUTES AFTER BEING CRASHED OUT OF THE LEAD
yourusername: * second-place
landonorris: STOP IT
yourusername: don't dish it if you can't take it buddy
user16: not this brocedes era for max and lando
yourusername: @lewishamilton @nicorosberg i am so sorry they're minimising your trauma like this
user17: so real of you
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yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and 934,098 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & landonorris
yourusername: when you forgot that you invited your boyfriend to stay at the family home before the british grand prix and arranged a big family dinner and the flight back to england and your boyfriend and brother decide to try and kill each other in the race and have now 'ended' their friendship.... relatable!
view all comments
user21: the footage... GIVE IT TO ME, SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL
yourusername: most excruiting three hours of my life boys are so dramatic
user22: shock horror mad max and norrif are holding grudges
yourusername: IF i didn't have the patience of a saint i would've gone mad max on their asses and mclaren would've been down a driver
user23: out here threatening the victim and not the aggressor
yourusername: now why would i attack my trophy husband?
landonorris: i didn't make the plane ride awkward HE MADE THE PLANE RIDE AWKWARD
yourusername: we tried to nap but the heat from your death glare kept us up
landonorris: THAT'S NOT MY FAULT
yourusername: it's kind of expressly your fault, you could've taken your anger out on a pillow or a 12 piece wing meal like a normal person
landonorris: max's jet doesn't offer wings
maxverstappen1: get your own jet then
yourusername: @ryanair we have a new customer for you
landonorris: NO I'M SORRY
maxverstappen1: finally
landonorris: just for your jet not having wings, you're still the one in the wrong overall
user24: i fear lando may not see his sister back in the mclaren garage for the rest of the season
user25: i mean she looks better in blue anyway
liked by maxverstappen1
oscarpiastri: can we please move on lando your attitude is stinking up the gaff
landonorris: 1. wtf osc you're meant to be on my side 2. where the fuck did you learn that
oscarpiastri: while you've been sulking in your childhood bedroom i've been taking in the normal norris hospitality
yourusername: he'll get over it he did this all the time when we were younger - he'll come back and join when dinner is finished
landonorris: TELL MAX TO APOLOGISE
yourusername: i guess you don't want any of these profiteroles then ...
maxverstappen1: i'm eating them all lol
landonorris: FINE GOD DAMN
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landonorris
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 1,674,099 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername
landonorris: i think i just got gentle parented (brought matching jellycats) into forgiving max
view all comments
user28: about fucking time
user29: baby had his first real dose of wheel to wheel racing for a win and wanted to throw away a friendship
user30: good thing his sister never knows when to shut the fuck up and humbled these men cause lord knows without her lando would still be chatting shit in the media
yourusername: someones got to make sure lando doesn't embarrass himself (idk where his PR department went but mclaren need to run me my money)
maxverstappen1: girl, so confusing when you literally forget all about it as soon as we got you the jellycat you wanted
landonorris: i am a little brother first and foremost
yourusername: hard on the little you've been acting like a whole ass five year old
landonorris: have you ever thought that maybe i'm acting out because i miss you now you've moved in with max and wanted matching jellycats so we always have a part of each other??
yourusername: awww really???
maxverstappen1: that's actually kind of cute
maxverstappen1: and a hunk of BULLSHIT
landonorris: FINE I'M PETTY BUT I WANTED TO WIN SUE ME
maxverstappen1: well i also wanted to win so that's not the serve you think it is
yourusername: you only 'forgave' him because you saw that max was playing padel with charles
landonorris: umm yes obviously, i can't let lestappen be a real thing
yourusername: why not that's literally my dream threesome
yourusername: WHAT WHO SAID THAT
yourusername: lando i think your comment section is haunted
charles_leclerc: well i'm ... flattered
landonorris: you can have lestappen you weirdo
maxverstappen1: @charles_leclerc stop being flattered i don't share
yourusername: heheheheh
landonorris: that much is obvious... you couldn't let me win once?
maxverstappen1: no!
yourusername: no!
fin: here's a lil quick one today cause i had some free time! i am working on guilty as sin p4 but i'm so so so busy and i do be going to silverstone on wednesday xx hope you enjoyed !!!
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jude5bellingham · 1 year ago
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post to story ౨ৎ jude bellingham
pairing: jude bellingham x f!reader
summary: when attempting to document a trip to madrid becomes a soft launch.
warnings & notes : reader has something already established with jude, is good friends with jobe, and other people in jude's circle. in my head i imagine that the set of stories are spread out throughout the day or week!! also sorry the plot is so loose 😔
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
when did you get here
why didn't you say anything
are you still out?
yourusername
yeah
see you in 10
you know where i am bellingham
judebellingham
you're the worst
i'll be there in 5
💌 gioareyna has replied to your story:
ain't no way
yourusername
no hello? hi ??
a waving emoji would've been enough too tbh
gioareyna
yeah you don't deserve that rn
don't do anything i wouldn't do
yourusername
not exactly sure what that means but
thanks dad
gioreyna reacted 👎🏻 to a message
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
the dots...
yourusername
there are no dots
jobebellingham
if you say so..
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
looks an awful lot like my brother
yourusername
blehhhhh
jobebellingham
you're the worst
yourusername
and you sound just like your brother
jobebellingham
oh! you're definitely the worst!
💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
no need to tease us
we know who
yourusername
teasing is my specialty
camavinga
keep that between you and jude
yourusername
who said it was jude 🤨.
camavinga
yeah ok 😂😂😂😂
yourusername reacted 👎🏻 to a message
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
your song choice is making it seem like i'm some whore
yourusername
...
judebellingham
wow
i see how it is mate
yourusername
no need to mate me now
judebellingham
?
pretty sure you'd like that
yourusername
i think that's more than enough out of you jude
judebellingham reacted 🤐 to a message
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 trentarnold66 has replied to your story:
tell me the lad put on a good show at least
yourusername
not better than you
trentarnold66
obviously not better than me
yourusername reacted 😂 to a message
but still
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
HELLO??? THEYVE CONNECTED??
yourusername
what are you talking about
jobebellingham
THE DOTS
yourusername
STOP.
jobebellingham
i knew it...
yourusername
my turn now
you're the worst
jobebellingham
🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
yourusername reacted 👎🏻 to a message
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
didn't know you were in the stands
why didn't you tell me you wanted to watch
yourusername
didn't want you offering me the same seats you give every other girl
or the goal dedication
judebellingham
bit presumptuous of you
who says i would've offered you seats
or dedicated my goal to you
yourusername
oh?
you wouldn't have?
judebellingham
of course i would've
would've written your name on my undershirt
blown a kiss and everything
yourusername
same treatment every other girl gets?
judebellingham has reacted 👎🏻 to a message
judebellingham
there aren't any other girls
yourusername
that's not what a certain someone said 🤐
judebellingham
i'm killing jobe
yourusername
just kidding
your mother got me that seat
judebellingham
i told her to do it
yourusername
yeah sure
good job today brum boy
judebellingham
me when they say good boy 😝
yourusername
I DID NOT SAY GOOD BOY
judebellingham
you did now 🤤🤤🤤
yourusername
you are SICK.
judebellingham
sooo... see you at 5?
yourusername
can i say no?
judebellingham
no
yourusername
🙄🙄🙄 see you at 5 then i guess
judebellingham reacted 😁 to a message
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
kiss already
yourusername
EDUARDO.
camavinga reacted 😂 to a message
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
your plausible deniability is running out btw...
yourusername
no it's not
innocent until proven guilty actually
jobebellingham
mum said you stayed over
yourusername
ON THE COUCH
jobebellingham
WITH JUDE
yourusername
you know what
i'm not arguing with you jobe
jobebellingham
cause you would lose
yourusername
no
jobebellingham reacted 👎🏻 to a message
jobebellingham
why can't you guys just give it up
it's not like you have to tell the world
but you don't have to lie to me
yourusername
...
it's cause me and your brother aren't anything jobe
jobebellingham
GIVE IT UP ALREADY
yourusername
i'm serious jobe
we haven't talked about it
jobebellingham
so you went all the way to madrid to see a guy who won't ask you out officially
yourusername
not just any guy 🙄
he's your brother
ALSO I DID NOT GOT TO MADRID JUST FOR THAT
jobebellingham
he's just another guy if he won't ask you out officially yn
he is my brother but stand up ☝🏻😀
yourusername reacted 👎🏻 to a message
yourusername
...
can you stop being real with me jobe what the flip
FINE
i will start the conversation
jobebellingham reacted 🙏 to a message
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1:27 AM
jude
yn
uhhhhh
??
grrrrrrrrrr
you alright?
AHHHHHHHH
AHHHHH
why are we screaming
jude you know i like you right
i like you too yn
what is happening
jude what are we
oh wow
yn you are ruining it
oh
NO
that came out so horrifically wrong
i'm so sorry
what i meant to say is
i have dinner reservations for 2 at 6pm
and you just spoiled your own surprise
ohh
nice save jude
🙄🙄.
fine
yn you make me really happy
and i hate that i haven't brought this up earlier
would you let me be your boyfriend
weeeeeee
okay now you're ruining it
i'll see you at 6 mate
wow...
yourusername added to their story!
♫ The Daughters of Eve ⠂Hey Lover
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💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
so can you finally admit it was jude
yourusername
🙄🙄.
camavinga
have fun tonight 😉😏😏
yourusername
EDUARDO CAMVINGA.
camavinga reacted 😂 to a message
camavinga
i didn't say anything 🤔🤔
yourusername reacted 😒 to a message
💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
did he ask you out
yourusername
yes...
jobebellingham
are you guys together now
yourusername
yes...
jobebellingham
so the dots connected
yourusername
yeah...
jobebellingham
go ahead
yourusername
you're the best jobe
jobebellingham reacted 😼 to a message
💌 gioareyna has replied to your story:
did you never see that clip dortmund posted
yourusername
which one
gioareyna
who wouldn't you let date your sister
yourusername
... i saw it
gioareyna
congrats though
he's yours to deal with now
yourusername
i'm sure you could steal him back anytime
gioareyna
let me know if he's too much for you to handle
i'll take him off your hands
yourusername 😳 reacted to a message
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
really?
the last story was unnecessary i think
yourusername
yeah he's a little odd looking
but he's my boyfriend
judebellingham
...
yourusername
speechless?
judebellingham
i have a bad feeling this is just the beginning
yourusername
of our relationship 💔💔?
judebellingham
no
good feeling about that
bad feeling about
your future story posts...
yourusername
yeah you're probably right
don't get caught lacking now mate
judebellingham
again with the mate...
can you go back to calling me your odd looking boyfriend
yourusername
alright
if that's what you prefer mr. odd looking boyfriend
judebellingham reacted 🙃 to a message
yourusername added to their story!
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💌 jobebellingham has replied to your story:
wow this is brutal
💌 gioareyna has replied to your story:
oh he is not living this down
💌 camavinga has replied to your story:
poor jude
💌 trentarnold66 has replied to your story:
give the lad a break
💌 judebellingham has replied to your story:
this is just cruel
and evil
and mean
and
:(
yourusername
isn't my boyfriend just the cutest lil guy ever?
judebellingham
well if you put it that way...
yeah
yourusername
great! so it's staying up
i'm gonna add it to my highlights too
judebellingham
you evil woman...
yourusername
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tagged judebellingham
liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 201 others
yourusername silly strange odd boyfriend making silly strange odd faces on our silly one year anniversary 🤍
view all 60 comments
camavinga he never learns does he 🤦‍♂️
yourusername nope!
jobebellingham he's finally moved up to feed post 🥳
yourusername yep! 🥳
judebellingham WHY DID YOU POST THEM IN THAT ORDER
yourusername wdym
judebellingham why didn't you post the normal one first
yourusername cause that is least representative of my boyfriend duh..
judebellingham ...
judebellingham one day i will get you back for this...
yourusername never🥸
judebellingham one of many years to come 🫶🏽
yourusername almost makes me feel bad for the order of the pictures
yourusername jk
yourusername 🤍🤍
judebellingham yeah 🙄 love you too🤍🤍
yourusername thanks mate 🤍🤍
judebellingham ...
3K notes · View notes
selfloverrrrrr · 6 months ago
Note
hii can i request Pervert gojo finally losing control and nonconing reader after she finds him jerking off with her panties. I’m talking pushing her down on the bed, threating to cum inside her with her begging him not to cause she’s not on birth control only making him go harder. An age gap would be pretty hot as well
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Pervert Teacher
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Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....
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( All characters are aged up/18+)
Minors Do Not Interact
Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report
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Gojo's POV
"Am I being a pervert?" I questioned myself. I'm her sensei. Yes I am obsessed with y/n. But never let anyone know that. Not even her. I always stalk her everywhere. I know she's my student. I know she has a crush on Yuji. But I won't let her confess to him. Because she's mine! I don't like if someone touches what's mine!
Whenever she's on a mission I went in her room. See her stuffs. I steal her pantie. Does that makes me pervert? I don't care if it does... She's mine... and I'm gonna make her mine one day!
It was a normal day. I just came back home. I went to the bathroom and took a bath. I came back to my bedroom. I got dressed. I was about to close my closet when I noticed y/n's pantie. Fuck! Every time I see those I get hard. I didn't have any work to do...so why not please myself?
I unzipped my pants and took the pantie. Fuck, my dick was already hard. I wrapped her pantie around my dick. This thing always touches her pussy. I'm gonna get her pussy wrapped around my dick too soon.
I stroked myself. "F-fuck" a moan escaped my mouth. I imagined y/n. Begging me to let her suck my cock. Her small mouth trying to take my dick in. I imagined her little juicy tongue licking the tip of my dick. I keep stroking myself.
I imagined her getting wet by trying to suck my dick. How she'll beg me to fuck her and make her cum. The way she calls me sensei.... And I'll fuck her hard. Spank her. Will fuck her so hard she'll never forget who she belongs to... I imagined all those nasty things and kept stroking myself until I heard my bedroom door open. "Y/n?" I said and tried to pull up my pants to cover myself.
Y/n's POV
I was talking with Nobara on call. "Yes yes I know it was so funny" I said. "I know right" Nobara said from the other side. "Btw girl....did you give sensei his card back that he gave us for shopping yesterday?" Nobara asked. "Oh shit... I forgot! I'm gonna give him back right now" I replied. "Okey then... gonna talk later " Nobara said and the call ended.
I went to Gojo sensei's room. I was about to knock but saw the door was open. I went inside. "Sensei?" I called his name. But no answer came. I heard some noise coming from his bedroom. I looked at the direction. I saw light coming from there. "Sensei must be there" I said and went towards the bedroom.
I opened the door. "Sensei your card-" but I got shocked. "Ahhh... f-fuck y/n don't stop" I saw him moaning while he was stroking himself. Eyes closed. And moaning My name?! He opened his eyes when he heard my voice. "Y/n?" He said and tried to cover himself pulling up his pant.
"I-I'm sorry I didn't.." I was speaking then my eyes went to his other hand. Which was holding a pantie? I recognised it. That was mine.... one of those which were Missing from my closet. My eyes went back to him. I saw him staring at me. He knew I understand what was happening.
I started going back. "I-I'm sorry...." I said and turned around to get out. When I turned around he was standing in front of me. I knew he can teleport himself. He was staring at me again. "You know it now... right ?" He asked with a smirk. "W-what" I said. I started back up inside his bedroom and his was walking towards me. "Don't try to be innocent.... I know that you understood it....my six eyes are telling me it" he said. "N-No... I don't ..... P-Please " I said. He looked at me and smiled.
Suddenly he grabbed my waist and threw me on the bed with him top of me. I screamed. "Lying to your teacher,huh?" He said. "Please sensei I don't know... please let me go" I begged. "I know that you know....that means can't let you go" he replied mockingly. He pressed his lips on mine. He kissed me. he forced his tongue inside my mouth. I slapped on his chest to stop him. But he didn't.
Then he pulled away. I gasped. I was breathing heavily. When I looked at him he already stripped himself out of his shirt. "I almost edged myself when you came in here... Now you should please me better " he said and ripped off my shirt. "Nooo....stopp!!!" I sobbed. "Still not wearing a bra, huh? Or were you wishing for me to rape you?" He whispered with a smirk.
"no no no.... please let me go!!!" I sobbed. Gojo kissed me again. He grabbed my boob and started squeezing it and I moaned in the kiss. Hearing my moan Gojo stopped the kiss and crashed his mouth on my breast. I moaned out loudly. He started sucking on my breast roughly. The more I moan the more roughly he sucks and  squeeze on my breasts.
He pulled away. He was still staring at me. I was trying to get away but he was locking my legs with his own legs. He ripped off my skirt and pantie. I heard an unzipping sound. He unzipped his pants again. Now I started crying. He smirked when he saw me crying. He stroked himself. It was huge. Was he going to fuck me now?!
He came on top of me again. Then he rubbed his dick on my clit. I moaned slightly. "Now spread those legs wideeeee for sensei ~" he whispered in my ear. " No no no!!!! I'm gonna tell everyone!!! I'm gonna tell this to everyone.... everyone will hate you!!!" I screamed. He pushed his whole length in one slide. "Go, tell them.... I. Don't. Care." He replied.
"ahhhhhhh.... pull out!!! Please pull out!!! It's too big.... I...I can't!!!!!!!" I sobbed and begged. "Shhh....be a good slut for sensei and please him" he said and started thrusting in and out. I screamed for help. "Nobody's gonna help you, slut....just accept it" he whispered in my ear and started thursting in and out roughly. I was throughig my legs with pain and begging him to stop. And he was liking it so much. His thurst became harder and harder.
I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly " ughhhhhh....ahhh s-so...ahhhh....so f-fucking tight.....oh fuck ...oh fuck.... it's even better than I thought it would be" he started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself. With a few more thurst I came. He was still thursting roughly. He choked me down to the bed. "Now look at me when I cum inside you" he said statistically. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength.
" Ughh...no no no no...ahhhhhh...no please no....ahhhhhh..... n-not ahhhh.....not inside..." I moaned. He grabbed my throat and chocked me down to the bed. " Shhh.... shut up and just fucking take what I'm giving you." He screamed still thrusting roughly. "P-Please no.... I'm not on birth control....please don't" I begged sobbingly. I felt him going more rough after hearing it. And I sobbed more. "That's even better... I'm gonna mark you as mine...none will dare to touch you" he said with an evil laugh. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out. My vision was almost blurred out.
"wake up quick, darling.... I have to do it again ~" he whispered in my ear.
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Give me your requests guys...
I love when you give me your requests 💕
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869 notes · View notes
1lovehanni · 8 months ago
Text
Fun in Fanmeet (Minju of ILLIT)
Minju x Male Reader (Y/N) Wort count: 2087 words Summary: A fan meeting leads to a fun experience for you.
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You have been a fan of Minju ever since RU next; the way she has the visual and talent of a perfect idol is what captured your heart.
She has a unique voice, is a wonderful dancer, has a great personality, and lastly, has a gorgeous visual.
She indeed has such K-actress beauty that if she had pursued her acting career rather than her idol career, she would still flourish.
You’ve been playing the Super Real Me album 24/7, thinking of how this group started from being a nobody to a hit with their title song Magnetic. Eventually, a fanmeet has been announced in their official Twitter account. Reading through it, you saw a chance of having a one-on-one conversation with a member, but it was a random draw during the event. Nonetheless, the important part is to attend your favourite group and meet Park Minju. After the 150th album you just bought, you finally got a ticket for the fanmeet. A week has passed, and the day of the fanmeet is here. You’ve dressed as well as you can. You arrived early to the venue and chatted with some fans. And patiently waited for the fan meet to begin.
After some time, a staff member walked to the stage and announced that the fan meet was about to begin. Excitement rises in yourself; you're about to see Minju in real life. A loud cheer as the members each slowly walk. Yunah was dead gorgeous; same with Iroha and Moka. Then there’s the cutest Wonhee, but your eyes fixated on your princess, the queen of your dreams, the one and only Minju. The flower crown on her head makes her an angel that comes down from heaven to save you. Nonetheless, the fanmeet is starting with their hit song Magnetic. After that, they introduced themselves. Doing challenges, literally being themselves. Two hours have passed, everyone still has the energy to cheer, and the girls are still entertaining. But every event has to come to an end; eventually they draw the winner for the one-on-one convo. Since there are a lot of fans who attended, you thought that there's no chance you can win one, let alone win for Minju. But as the staff was picking the winner for Minju, they called in the person, but they had already left, so they redrawn again. This time, luck had come to you when they called your name.
Y/N is selected for Minju; please come right to the stage. You're dazzled by the announcement, and fans near you congratulate you for winning. You followed the instructions to come near the stage. They gave the five winners an envelope with the time and place where they could have a chit-chat with the idols. 
For you, the time is from 10pm to 12 midnight; you thought it's kind of late for a fan meet. It feels like a date for you, which isn't a bad thing but suspicious nonetheless. And the meeting place is private, which makes sense since it's a one-on-one conversation. Arriving at the place, it seems so empty—just 2 bodyguards and 1 staff member. You greeted them and handed them the invitation. Welcome Sir. Y/N, congratulations! Enjoy your date with Minju. ? Huh, did I hear you right? They didn’t talk after that. You entered the place and saw a table for two with a couch right next to it. You didn't mind the place, but suspicion arises since you haven't heard anything for the past 5 minutes. Walking to the door, you noticed the bodyguards and the staff left. You heard footsteps walking toward the door. You instantly hide as if a murderer is on you. The door opened, and a girl walked in. Where’s the guy? Minju said,Umm hi! "Shock.” OMG, why are you there? Ugh, I thought someone was about to kill me. So you won the draw? Yes, I did. I am Y/N, btw, and sorry to startle you. Haha, no worries; it kind of seems like a dark place, right?
Yes, it is.
You two casually just talked to each other for half an hour. You noticed she texted her staff to bring the food. This is fun—she said, Oh, yeah, different from a normal fan meet. Yeah, um, I just noticed my staff for the food; I'm getting hungry. Are you not? Oh, before I got here, I had already eaten. The staff knocked on the door to deliver the food for the two of you. Thank you! Miss Minju, text again if you need something. Both of you munch the food the staff delivered, and deep inside of you is screaming as to how you got to eat with Minju. 
After eating, she asked, Do you have a girlfriend or something? No, not at the moment, but you did have? An ex? Ye That's perfectPerfect? Well, I don't know if you're keeping up all this time. But you haven't just won a date with me; something else is better. Something else? Think Y/N; you're running out of time. Your head is full of confusion; you cannot think straight about what Minju just said. A lot of things are going on in your head. As you think, she stood up and got to the couch. Well, if you can't think of what I am referring to, you won't experience it. This just added to your confusion. Minutes passed, and you still can't think of what she's referring to. But then it hit. Is she giving a massage perk? I think I got it. Finally, you got it! But shouldn’t it be a flat bed rather than a couch? Huh? What? Are you thinking of massaging? Well, I can’t think of any. Ugh, you're too innocent but cute too. I like you, Y/N. But this isn't okay; it’s not massaging. Well,  it involves massaging, but in a special way, and you're the massagist. Huh? Me? Are you saying random things? Did the food make you think less? Shibal, I can’t take you anymore. It’s so simple yet you can’t get to it. Sorry, it’s just my first time, okay? I don't usually go to Fanmeets. It’s my first time too. Ugh, fine, since you only have an hour with me, I’ll do it. What are you going to do? Have fun, fun with you. Ugh, Y/N, I want you to fuck me here. That’s the prize you won; you won me for 2 hours, babe. What are you on? Are you really Minju? She then pinned you down on the couch, like the captured food of a predator.
This is what you won; I am your prize. So get it now before your time runs out. Min... Minju, I don’t see you like that; I like you but not like this. Why are you so cute? You're making me regret this.What? She then slowly removes her clothes—the white dress and her safety shorts—leaving her in her underwear. You're perplexed by the sight you're seeing. She then goes close to you and unbuttons your shirt. Please be gentle, you said to her. She mirks, going for your mouth. Feeling her dessert to you. You just follow what she desires in you. You alright, she asked. Eyep, I am fine. Strip me, touch my body. Y/N, you earned it. Okay, just like that, good boy. You have a silky smooth skin, Minju. I never imagined this. You’re really my fan, right? You mentioned you watched me in RU next Yes, I am Alright, I am gonna suck your dick now Um, okay, I’ll be gentle, I promise She takes off your pants and briefs. Showing your hard cock to your favourite idol She was shocked by the length and girth you have. Wow, you're so big. 
Thank you, I guess.
You gasped from the way she grabbed your rod, spitting on it as a makeshift lube. Slowly jaculating your dick. You are in ecstasy as seconds pass; you feel like you’re going to cum from just a handjob. Ugh, Minju slows down a bit. Am I reaching it already? I guess it's because of me. She slowed down a bit, but this time using her mouth. She kisses your tip, slurping her own spit on it. Tasting your pre-cum is like juice. She then takes it and swallows slowly, inch by inch, in her mouth. How is she good at this? You asked yourself. You thought this was why they'd debuted; they probably got used by the higher-ups. But you cleared that in your mind; you just thought of what is happening at the moment. Slurp.” Hmmm, I love your cock, Y/N. Its so big and juicy. I am glad you like it. I am getting close to it. She swallows all of it while looking at you, having the begging eyes like she's not satisfied. Alright, time to fuck me now, Y/N. You’re special since this is my first time with a fan. Are you not a virgin anymore? She nods, then gets up to align her freshly shaved pussycat with your dick. You feel your body losing strength as it enters the heavens of Minju. Oh my god, you’re so tight. I can’t believe I am inside you, Minju. Just like that, do you like it? Yes, I am getting comfortable now. That's what I want to hear. Now bring me your game. Yeah, fuck me all you want. She's in a cowgirl position on top of you, having the sight of a goddess and her small, cute tits. You moved your hips up, trying out how to fuck a girl. 
I am not good! That's right. You’re hitting my G-spot. The face she’s making fuels you. The cute, innocent-looking Minju is now a cute, hottie, sexy girl, wanting to be fucked. After a minute, she told you to change positions. Ugh, maybe doggystyle? I don’t know my position. Hmm, do you want to see my face? Then I’ll lay here and insert it while looking at me. Alright, you did what she said; you have a full view of her from top to bottom. Now, deep in this state, you just want to taste every part of her. You carry her legs to your shoulder and lick her toes. Wow, getting bold, good boy. Just like that, lick my toes. You get close to her as your body starts to lose some energy; getting this close to her wants you to kiss her. You tried to get it, but she avoided it. Um, sorry, no kissing yet. Oh really, my bad. No, I want to cause you’re cute, but that's one of the rules. Okay, Another change of position led both of you to lay down on the couch. This time you can only see her back, but your cock is still in her. Ugh, like that, Y/N, I am going to stop. You want me to stop? No, she shouts, Okay, okay, continue to fuck me like this. You continue to go inside of her, eventually feeling that her walls are getting tighter. Hinting that she's cumming.
Yes, ughh, ohhhh, yesss, just like that, I am cumming, babe. I am about to cum too, Minju GOOD. Yes, cum inside me. Yes, you can cum in me. YES, just fucking cum in me Okay okay OHHHHHHH, Yes cum in me baby. Ugh, this is so good. After cuddling inside her, both of you were just silent on the couch. She then hugged you and kissed your cheeks.
Don't tell them I kissed you, okay? Okay, I won't. Hmm, how about we do this sometime again, but with no time restriction? You down? For real? Yeah, I like you, Y/N. Maybe we can do more. Oh, alright, give me your number. She then gets dressed, giving you a wink. She looks like nothing happened, but the atmosphere in this small corridor is screaming sex.
I had fun. Did you? Yes. Hopefully next time you win again, haha. Well, I will try. Alright, I’ll call you later. Okay. She then left as the time with her ran out. You stand outside thinking of the things that happened today; not only did you meet Illit and Minju, you have just had the best experience a fanboy has ever had.
Hmm, what happened to the other four guys? Fin. A/N: A late Birthday smut for my girl. Is this the first Illit Smut here? Not proofread cuz I am lazy. Also it got fucked halfway in terms of formatting.
531 notes · View notes
bluetimeombre · 1 year ago
Text
ׂ╰┈➤ She’s like a shot of Espresso
You work in a coffee shop and suddenly Jacob is a coffee enthusiast
This man has been appearing in my dreams, he’s just begging for my attention. Btw I totally don’t work in a coffee shop…
ׂ╰┈➤
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Teenpopbuzz: we've found jacbobelordi favourite coffee spot! the actor has been seen visiting there on three separate occasions
304k likes 211k comments
user: hubba hubba
user: so princess diana coded
user: he's so pretty
user: breaking, jacobelordi goes to coffee shop THREE times
user: daddy
user: babe,,, come back, the children miss you
user: what i would do to be a coffee cup and sit between his lips
user: help someone said he's princess diana coded
ׂ╰┈➤
Jacob was not a nervous person. He never got nervous and never felt awkward. But this was a trip to the coffee shop he'd frequented and he'd slowly started to get the shakes before every time. What the hell was wrong with him?
He knew what was wrong with him, his friends knew what was wrong with him. He had a crush. A crush on the pretty barista who served him every time.
The cafe had only been opened an hour but he was there and so were you. He realised you were there most days, with a smile and style.
The bell over the door dinged as he walked in and as you finished serving your customer. It was all quiet inside as he strode to the counter.
'Hi,' you smiled as the other customer walked away.
'How you doing?' he asked politely.
'I'm good, your usual?'
He grinned. 'You know it already.'
'Of course. Any plans today?' he knew you were probably just making conversation, but it still felt nice to talk to you.
'Nothing much, just got this book I want to finish.'
'Oh yea? What you reading?'
'Grapes of Wrath,' he said. He moved along the counter with you, keeping conversation.
'You know if you like Steinbeck you should try East of Eden, it's my favourite book.'
'Really?'
You went into describing the book and he listened intently, smiling at you as you got excited over the book. He came in with his own prompts too.
‘Sorry, im keeping up,’ You apologized, sliding his coffee over.
‘No please, I love to hear it. I’ve got nothing much on.’
‘Finishing a Book, very important business,’ You tell him.
When another customer walked in, it was his cue to leave, slowly and looking back at you like one hundred times.
Jacob opened the door, calling to you one more time, completely ignoring the customer that was there. ‘I’ll see you soon!’
You smile and blush.
ׂ╰┈➤
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liked by… yourusername, sydney_sweeney, enews, tchalamet & others
Jacobelordi: I’ve heard East of Eden is a good read
1m likes 782k comments
user: aesthetic king
user: he’s so pretty
user: babygurl
user: 😍😍
user: I will bet so much money that’s from the coffee shop he likes or something
user: he’s so bf!!! I need him
user: he was written by a woman people!!!
user: how is he so gorgeous!!
user: I am free and single to hang out on Thursday Jacob, I’ll be free Thursday for us to date if you are free on Thursday
user: I want you
user: he so cute fr
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liked by… yourfriend, yourfriend, yourfriendsfriend and jacobelordi
Yourusername: oh no!!! I’m posting my three favorite things! Coffee, books and books! Hope a cute guy who has an affinity for these things doesn’t slide into my dms
105likes 20comments
yourfriend: she’s cute
yourfriend: ur so cool urg!!!
yourfriend: the caption, ur so iconic 😭😭
user: jacobelordi follows her?!?
ׂ╰┈➤
Jacobelordi started following yourusername
Yourusername started following jacobelordi
ׂ╰┈➤
Yourusername DMS
Jacobelordi: 📚
Jacobelordi: oh no, I accidentally tripped and dropped all my classics full of my annotations with all my interesting ideas and thoughts
ׂ╰┈➤
Jacob had a mission.
Your cafe was busier by the time he got in around lunch. It had been a busy week and beside talking to you through instagram, there hasn’t been much chance of a chance to see you.
So boy was he gonna see you today. And he had a plan.
He walked in and couldn’t immediately see you but saw your co-workers, another guy and another girl at the counter. He lingered around. What if you weren’t working today? But he was sure you were, you were always in on this day.
He caught sight of you, talking to a couple out for lunch and he smiled, tapping the book in his pocket.
After you left them to eat their lunch, you strode over. He noticed the blush on your cheeks, he’s hoped you’d be just as nervous.
‘Hey,’ he smiled as you slid behind the counter.
Your co-workers wondered away, clearly trying to make it look as if they weren’t listening.
‘I actually brought something for you,’ he said, suddenly wanting to hide behind his cap.
‘For me?’
With a grin, he slid over Grapes of Wrath. ‘It’s my copy, annotated and that. I just thought you might like to read it.’
‘Oh my god, thank you!’ You practically caressed the book. ‘It’s so funny cause I actually have something for you-‘ then, you pulled out east of Eden. ‘My copy. Not quite annotated but there’s a line or two underlined.’
‘Oh woah,’ the two of you laugh about it, thumbing though the pages.
Finally, Jacob knew he had to ask. He couldn’t not. ‘Maybe, if you’re free- and if you’re up to it, we could meet up and chat about it- and other things of course.’
You watch, blushing.
‘A date!’ He suddenly announced. ‘I’m asking you out on a date.’
You nod. ‘I would love to go on a date with you, just let me know when, you have my number.’
Confused, his brows furrowed until you helped him. You flicked open the cover and on the first page of the book, your number was scribbled.
And he knew, he was in bad.
ׂ╰┈➤
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Teenpopbuzz: new couple alert?! Jacobelordi has been spotted out and about with a mystery girl a few times now, could this be his new lucky woman?!
856k likes 445k comments
user: that should be me!!! Holding your hand!!
user: omg they’re so cute!!
user: isn’t this yourusername, who works in the cafe?
user: he’s literally just taking pictures of her, it’s so cute!!!
user: she better sleep with one eye open
user: I’m in love with them
user: he looks happy eeeekk
user: yourusername
user: ok I’ve stalked yourusername, she works in the cafe he’s been seen at
user: they’re so cute
user: I like the dog
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liked by… yourusername, florencepugh, emmachamberlian & tchalamet
Jacobelordi: six months of free coffee! Thank you my love x
tagged: yourusername
1.1m likes 802k comments
user: AHHHHHHHH
user: he made it official!!!!
user: my parents!
user: she’s actually so pretty wtf
user: I can’t tell who i want to be more
user: the fact they met through the cafe she works at, talk about meet cute
user: telling my kids this is Romeo and Juliet
user: omg the free coffee comment, hahahah
user: do you think she’s seen saltburn?
yourusername: <3
938 notes · View notes
anachronismstellar · 2 months ago
Note
SQH x Wine Peak lord
I would imagine SQH would teach the Wine Peak Lord modern drinking games and it goes from there. (IDK if it will go like the SVSSS extra if you know what I mean.)
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HISHSDAUFHUSDHDF not only did SQH taught a modern drinking game, UNO is now canon in the SVSSS lol
AND FUCK YEA BODY SHOTS LET'S GO
A Peak Lady this time! :D Her lovely name was given by @busysavingtheuniverse, thank you so much and I hope you enjoy my wine aunty!!
Omg I'm so sorry it took me this long but *waves at the past weeks*
But to make it better this is ahahahah 13 pages long on my docs. :D
Why I am going a little insane ty for asking
BTW, this one has mild explicit content AND it has two adults getting reaaally drunk before having sex. Everything is consensual, but if that makes you icky, maybe skip this one
Now, on with the fic!
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The room was filled with the scent of incense and tobacco, the lights bright just enough to create an intimate atmosphere. Four people gathered around a low table, the clacking of ivory pieces mixed with their low voices.
And the wine, of course, flowing like a river, making laughter bubble free. They probably shouldn't drink so much, their week packed with meetings and trainings, but if their dear Mu Qingfang himself was indulging, who were they to say no to a bit of fun?
The stones were given to each player, some of them being exchanged back and forth, the match starting with their host setting down the first piece.
And as soon as the game began, so did the gossip.
"Has anyone heard from their disciples yet? Wei-shixiong?" Mu Qingfang asked as he poured wine for all of them while waiting for his turn in the game.
"Not me," he replied as he discarded his stone, cursing right after, trying to take it back, only to get a tap on the wrist by Qi Qingqi sitting on his right.
"Pong. Don't cheat." Qi Qingqi said as she moved her pieces at a speed that would leave anyone dizzy, already displaying a group of three identical stones, her eyes focused on the game, shoulders tense.
"I heard nothing from him as well," Mu Qingfang added along with his own discarded stone, moving way slower than his shijie on his left. "But I don't think he noticed the rumors yet."
"I don't wanna add to the fire," Zhang Qingyan started as she tapped her nails on her pieces, holding her pipe between her teeth to move her own blocks before continuing. "But I heard some An Ding disciples talking about Liu-shidi being the last victim."
"Really?" Mu Qingfang asked, genuinely surprised. "I thought he was scared of Liu-Shixiong?"
"Oh he is!" Wei Qingwei said a bit too excited for someone losing their third round or so. "But I heard that girl, what's her name? The An Ding Head Disciple? Qi-shimei, do you know who I am talking about?"
"Ye Ling."
"That's the one," Wei Qingwei threw another piece at the discarded pile, then sipped his drink. "She said Liu-shidi scared the soul out of Shang-shidi's body, and Shang-shidi grabbed him and threw Liu-shidi on the ground."
"And that would do it, wouldn’t it? Liu-shidi is so odd…" Zhang Qingyan took another smoke from her pipe, then offered it to Qi Qingqi, who just refused with a shake of her head. She had lost the three last matches, and that mixed up with how much wine they had already...
Zhang Qingyan moved a little bit to the side, just in case.
"Who is missing then?"
"Almost half of the peaks, I believe."
"Do you think he's gonna sleep with all the lords?"
"A bit difficult, I mean, Gao-shidi has eyes only for his talismans. And Qi-shijie-" Mu Qingfang said as he took the pipe Qi Qingqi rejected.
"I won't touch men, not even if there's no one else in the world," she said as she put down her stone, glaring at Wei Qingwei.
"Don't look at us like that." Wei Qingwei gave her a wink, laughing at her face of disgust. "You haven't got the full Shang Qinghua experience!"
"It baffles me how he got himself into the bed of so many." She pretended to move her pieces around, just like Zhang Qingyan pretended not to see her take a piece from the discarded pile without the others noticing. "I tried to ask him where he bought his ink, you know the shimmery one? I couldn't open my mouth before he ran away like a scared rabbit."
"And can you blame Shang-Shixiong?" Mu Qingfang chuckled as he put his stone down, a light brush on his cheeks even though he had just a few cups. "Qingqi-shijie talking to a man of her own will is not something common to see. He probably thought you're going to ask for his liver."
"Hunf! I didn't need anything from him anyway." She flipped her hair back, as if she hadn't just confessed wanting to ask Shang-Shixiong a question. "My girls were more than able to gather all the information I needed to buy the ink."
"What I find really intriguing is that so far it has been all peak lords and no lady," Zhang Qingyan said as she poured another cup for Qi Qingqi and then herself, sighing at the taste of plum and spice. "Is he even interested in women?"
"Zhang-shimei, not you too," Qingqiu shook her head in dismay. "You are not considering-"
"The boys keep talking nonstop about him. And as Mu-Shixiong doesn't tell me anything-"
"It's doctor and patient confidentiality!"
"-I'm curious, that's all."
The entire table got dangerously quiet before exploding with noise.
"No, no, no, absolutely not, I have my money on Wu Qingfang being the next one!"
"Please don't indulge this nonsense, they are already insufferable as they are-"
"You should call him for the next game." Mu Qingfang took a sip of his wine, the red on his cheeks spreading down his neck. "He's been dealing with a lot lately, I bet he would enjoy the distraction."
She turned to look at him, eyebrows pulled up in surprise as she slowly let go of her smoke.
"Mu-Shixiong really thinks so?" She tapped her ashes in an empty bowl next to her chair, ignoring Qi-Shijie and Wei-shixiong bickering to focus on her dear doctor. "You-" she paused, glancing at the two other cultivators, certifying they were distracted before taking his hand and gently squeezing it. "You know him better than any of us..." She paused again, their eyes meeting, a heartbeat passing before he gave her a soft smile, glasses a little crooked.
"I know it's been a while since he had good wine." Mu Qingfang squeezed her hand back with a discreet shake of his head. "And if there's anyone I trust to show him a good time would be Zhang-shimei."
She nodded slowly as she clicked her cup against his before taking her sip, the sweetness of the wine tingling on her tongue, making her sigh.
"Besides," Mu Qingfang continued, taking his last piece from the face-down pile. "Shang Qinghua is not that bad. The secret is to hand in his paperwork on time and not ask for any last-minute favors. Then he doesn't care about the rest."
"Hah!" Wei Qingwei exclaimed as he waved one of his pieces at Mu Qingfang's direction, showing its symbol for anyone to see. "It also helps that you like sucking his-"
Smack!
The sound of Qi Qingqi slamming both her hands against the wooden table was loud enough to make them all stop and stare at her bright red face.
"Can we talk about anything else that's not Shang-shidi- Shang- the A-An Ding Peak Lord love life?" And at each stutter, her grip on the table got stronger, to the point of her knuckles going white. "Honestly, you are all worse than my teenage girls!"
They looked at each other before lowering their heads with soft mumbles of "Sorry Shimei" and "Sorry Qi-Shijie." Zhang Qingyan felt bad for her poor Shijie, Wei-Shixiong must have already talked her ear off about Shang-Shixiong if she got to the point of exploding like that.
They went back to focusing on the game, their silence lasting for three more rounds before Wei Qingwei opened his mouth and-
"But how long do you think it will take until he notices his disciples bragging about him fucking Liu-shidi?"
Qi Qingqi grabbed the closer bottle she could reach and took a big swing while Zhang Qingyan patted her shoulder, holding back her laughter.
-------
Shang-Shixiong and Zhang Qingyan had a very... Feeble relationship.
They were both close friends to Mu Qingfang, but they had never actually talked anything substantial outside of small talk.
If anyone asked Zhang Qingyan why, she would say they just hadn't much in common. She liked her wine and spending days and days in her peak, experimenting with all types of tinctures and salts, while he would never stop going on and on about paperwork and numbers, topics she wanted to avoid like demons after she closed her office doors.
She knew he was a good man, Mu-Shixiong wasn't one to praise freely. She just had been under the impression of Shang-Shixiong being a busy bee that cared only for his work, with no time to let his hair down. Literally.
Then came the rumors.
First was a joke that she caught among her disciples, then a bet here and there. Upon a bit of a digging, she found out a very interesting talk among the disciples of all peaks. She didn't believe it at first, and who would?
But then Wei Qingwei told his own story, and added to what she knew Mu-Shixiong and Shang-Shixiong would get up to...
One couldn't ignore all the evidence.
She got curious, of course she did. Did she believe that her invitation for a game of Mahjong would be accepted? Honestly, no.
Was she disappointed when instead of a polite decline she received a confirmation of his presence at their next gathering?
Absolutely not.
"This one would like to apologize to Shang-Shixiong for the absence of the other guests," she said as soon as they sat down on the low table, the set of Mahjong organized over it, ready for a game. "Mu-Shixiong had to cover his head disciple's shift, and Wei-Shixiong is lost in his forge, he said he was about to finish his last masterpiece and couldn't come."
"You mean his masterpiece of this month, right?" He took his wine cup from her hands with a small nod, waiting for her to pour her own drink before taking a sip. "Hoping he doesn't blow up another forge."
"Let's hope not, or he won't escape Qi-shijie's fury this time."
The name made Shang Qinghua tense, a weak laugh escaping his throat while he looked around, as if Qi QIngqi would jump from the curtains at any moment.
"Speaking of her, you said she was invited too...?"
"Oh, she's invited, but with Qi-shijie is always a wild guess,"
They left their talk trickle down as they both sipped their wine. When the silence kept going, Zhang Qingyan put her cup down to get her pipe. If she was going to host, she would have a good smoke.
"Do you want some?" She offered the tobacco. "I also have another wine, if Shixiong prefers something a bit stronger."
"This wine is perfect, thank you," he said as he rushed to take another sip, nodding his head. "But- uh. I wouldn't mind a smoke, actually."
He took his own pipe out of his robes, filling his pipe with fresh tobacco, shoulders dropping as smoke left his lips.
Deciding not to let the conversation die a horrible death, Zhang Qingyan poured more wine to them, hoping for it to loosen up Shang-Shixiong's tongue.
She wanted at least some gossip to tell Wei-Shixiong!
"I'm sad that I've invited Shang-Shixiong all this way for a match and we won't be able to play." Zhang Qingyan said after taking another sip of wine before starting the task of putting the Mahjong pieces away.
He quickly started helping her to put all the pieces in the silk lined box, picking up one or other to admire the hand work. "We could play something else, if you would like," he suggested when they finished putting everything away.
"Oh? What do you suggest?"
He patted his robes until he found a qiankun bag, taking a bundle of paper from it, setting on the top of the table. "Have you ever played Yi?"
She put the box aside, reaching for the papers, letting out a surprised "Huh" when she touched it, not finding it as flexible as she was expecting. And the colors! There were the ones with numbers, but also many drawings, some of them so detailed one could stare at them for hours.
"You've made these?"
"Oh no, no, I'm not an artist. But I know a lady that does some commission work, so all I had to do was describe the cards for her to make."
"They are beautiful..." she whispered while admiring a red phoenix delicately painted to look as if it was curling around the number nine. "How do you play it?"
He delicately took the cards from her hands, setting one of each type on the table, explaining one by one along with the rules of the game. And during the entire time she couldn't help but feel impressed, her polite smile slowly becoming sincere the more he talked. And she could see that Shang-Shixiong was opening up too, his own lips curling up in a smile, eyes crinkling with joy every time she asked a smart question.
"And there are many ways you could bend the rules, some people back in my town would play it as a drinking game."
"A drinking game?" Zhang Qingyan immediately perked up, eyes glinting with mischief. "Would Shang-Shixiong want to try going against me? Really?"
He squinted his eyes at her, and she could see him biting the inside of his cheek, as if considering his changes.
"Yes, let's make it a drinking game."
Oh poor dear, he had no idea, had he?
It wasn't his fault, really. Zhang Qingyan wasn't the type to brag, and again, they hadn't spent enough time together for him to know what a terrible mistake he had just made. And before he could go back on his offer she brought a cheaper wine, pouring them both a cup full to the brim, pulling her sleeves up so they wouldn't get in the way of her handling the cards.
Shang Qinghua shuffled, cutting the deck in half and then shuffling again, giving each of them seven cards, picking one from the top of the remaining, a beautiful blue bird with the number 6 next to it settling the first color of their game.
And so it started. 
"Zhang-shimei is a fast learner," he downed his wine in one swallow, without blinking at the strong taste. She could see he wasn't expecting her to get the rules so fast, their first round ending with Zhang Qingyan's victory. "Maybe we should add more drinking rules."
"Shixiong is too kind," she batted her eyelashes at him. "But if you think you can keep up with this one, we could add a cup each time one has to buy two cards or more."
"Deal," he agreed with a smile that was too sharp and too dangerous, a glint in his eyes that made her giggle with anticipation. It was like she could hear Mu-Shixiong's voice laughing with her, poking at her ribs while saying proudly. "Told you he's not bad."
…She could also hear Wei-Shixiong too, a whistle followed by "Careful, Shimei~ you gonna fall for it~"
"I'm not falling for it," she thought as she shook her head while giving all the cards for Shang Qinghua to shuffle again, firmly ignoring the way her heart picked up pace when his warm hands touched hers.
They played another round, and then another, tricking each other as much as the cards themselves tricked them, drying one bottle then two, then four. At some point Shang-Shixiong had let his hair down, and Zhang Qingyan had lost her outer robe, both stacking cards as fast as they could just to see the other fumble, smoke and alcohol making the room spin softly around them.
"I didn't know Shimei was such a good drinker," Shang Qinghua set his card down, laughing as Zhang Qingyan cursed like a demon, picking up two cards before drinking her wine. "I should have proposed that we drank each time one has to buy a card instead of two or more."
"Careful, Shixiong, one could think you were trying to seduce poor little me," she replied with a sweet smile, while curling her hair on her finger.
"Oh shimei, if I were really trying to seduce you, I would suggest body shots," he laughed, then drinking his cup after drawing a card.
"What are body shots?" she couldn't help but ask, glaring at the bright green dragon in the middle of the table, her cards dancing in front of her. She had the card to change colors for a while now, but she could also make him draw four more cards.
Hmmm choices choices...
"Oh, uh," his hesitation made her raise her glance at his red face, surprised at how he had gone from relaxed and cheekey to embarassed in less than seconds. "It's- It's something from my town? But, ah, is a bit-"
"Shixiong," she set her cards turned down at the table, putting her elbows on top of it so she could rest her chin on her hands. "Is it a lewd game?!"
"Oh Heavens," he hid his face between his hands, groaning. "I should not have mentioned it, oh no, this is dangerous-"
"Now I'm even more intrigued," she leaned forward, head slightly tilted down as she looked up at him. "Shixiong wouldn't leave me curious, would he?"
She didn't think it was possible for him to become more red, but at this point he was about to let smoke leak through his ears. He coughed, recomposing himself only to lose it all over again after glancing at her neckline, mumbling a word she couldn't understand.
"I- I could show you?" his voice went up at the end as if he himself was doubting his abilities. But with a deep breath he took the wine bottle and drank a good half of it, setting the porcelain on the table with a sharp nod. "I will show you. But you have to promise not to be angry."
She laughed out of pure surprise, agreeing not to hit or harm him in any way. And the more Shang-Shixiong explained what he was going to do, the more she started questioning herself on why she had never seen him in one of Wei-Shixiong wild parties, or how the quiet peak lord had knowledge of such games.
And that's how she ended up with a cup of wine nested between her robes and her chest, and Shang-Shixiong standing right in front of her, brown eyes blown wide as he held her by her waist. They both moved slowly as if the air had turned into molasses, unsure of where the lines were drawn, Shang Qinghua's heated breath sending shivers down her spine.
It was mesmerizing to watch as Shang Qinghua bit the porcelain and threw his head back, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. Clear liquid trickled down his chin, making everything messy, and probably it was not as graceful as he wanted it to be, both already drunk as they were. But then he went and licked the cup clean and-
He raised his eyes at her, and it was impossible for her not to hold his face, sinking her hands into his hair. She guided him into a biting kiss, both of them moaning, as his hands slid up and down her body, touching her everywhere as she did her best to get rid of his collared shirt, pulling him even closer by the back of his neck.
If the room had felt hot before, now it was boiling, her red robes hitting the floor right after his leather bracers, her dark lip tint smeared over his mouth and cheek.
Everything tasted salty and sweet, the haze of the wine making her entire skin tingle as he pushed her slowly until he was lying on the wooden floor. She felt as if she were floating under the brushes of his fingertips as he left her chest completely exposed to his gaze, tracing a swirling pattern all the way to her belly.
"There's another way to do a body shot," he said, and the way his voice went deeper with lust, oh Heavens, she might never recover. All of Mu-Shixiong's wildest stories weren’t able to prepare her for the vision that was Shang Qinghua completely disheveled, hair dripping down his shoulders, strong muscles peeking from his half opened shirt. "Shimei would like to learn it?"
She kept nodding while he took the bottle from the table, gasping when he pulled the cork with his teeth. "This might tickle," was the only warning he gave her before pouring wine in her bellybutton. She whined, nails scratching his arms with thin lines of red as he breathed over the cold liquid before sucking. And he drank it all up to the last drop, his tongue dancing on her skin, setting it her on fire, turning her whine into full moans as his mouth went lower and lower and-
"S-Shixiong!" She cried while grasping his hair tight, her back bending until it wasn't touching the floor for a second.
The slurping sound was obscene, it was divine, it was driving her into madness. She couldn't stop making noise, pulling her legs up until her knees were touching his head, begging for more, begging for mercy, begging and begging-
"I must say..." He wiped his chin with the back of his hand, pressing a soft kiss on the side of her knee. "This was much better than any body shot."
She kissed the smugness off his face, doing her best to reverse their positions, biting as she noticed Shang Qinghua was letting her move him around, allowing her to sit on his lap.
He was about to find out two could play that game.
"My turn," she said as she grabbed the bottle, pouring it all over his chest.
----------
She took her time getting dressed, feeling relaxed like she hadn’t in a good while, body sore all in the right places. Her guest had already left for his own peak, but not before making sure she had a good breakfast and some water, hangover tincture ready by her bed. 
And as soon as she could, she set foot to Mu-Shixiong’s peak, asking the first discipline that passed by if the doctor was in his office, not surprised at all by the affirmative answer.
"Mu Qingfang," she didn't slam the door open because that would be beneath her, but her entrance was dramatic anyway, robes fluttering as she rushed to get closer to him, crossing his office in a few steps. 
"What?" he asked as he paused by his examination table, his magnifying glasses perched up on his nose. And it was a testimony of their long friendship that she didn’t even blink at the sight of him bent over what seemed to be a tentacled creature; a scare thin knife in one hand, a pair of tweezers in the other.
“You were right, I was wrong.”
“Well, that’s a first coming from you. What was I right about?”
She took him by his wrist after he set all his instruments aside, making him sit before going through his shelves to get the good wine. Yes, she was still hungover, but she was in the mood for a celebration.
That and the fact that she would collect a big bag later from her disciples was also very nice, but not the point.
“Shang-Shixiong came by yesterday.”
“Oh?” and that was what made him shift his entire focus towards her, fingers intertwined on the top of his desk. “And how was it? Did you guys play Mahjong?” and then he dared to wiggle his eyebrows at her, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Stop it, I just told you that you were right," she poured him the wine, waiting for him to sip first before tasting it as well. “And I have to admit, I didn't know fingers could move like that. And don't tell Qi-shijie but- his tongue?"
"I know," Mu Qingfang let out a dreamy sign.
"And how long can he hold his breath? I mean-”
"I know," he sighed again, a silly smile on his face. Before, when she was the one on the other side listening to him sing Shang-Shixiong's praises, she would roll her eyes fondly, saying that he was a man in love.
Now? She understood. She completely understood..
The entire time Shang-Shixiong had been the most polite, making sure she was comfortable, taking what he wanted but not taking it for granted. He asked permission in the sweetest ways, teasing her when she failed to use words. And at the end of it all, he had taken time to massage her sore thighs, kissing her feet, treating her like an empress.
It made her heart race but she wasn't a romantic woman. She liked to have fun but relationships? Hah! In a world controlled by men, to become someone's wife would be the same as giving away her power and titles.
Mu Qingfang, on the other hand...
"Are you... Are you alright with all of this? I know how deeply you feel about Shang-Shixiong." She took his hand between hers in a similar gesture all those days ago, searching in his eyes any sign of pain. "Just say the word, and I go after him to give a strong talk."
He laughed, a genuine belly laugh that made her relax her shoulders, the band around her heart releasing a bit.
"This one thanks his Shimei, but she doesn't need to worry. My relationship with Shang-Shixiong is not like that. We love each other, but I know he wasn't meant to have only one lover."
"That's a way to say it," she tsked as she patted his hand again, letting it go to pick on the sleeves of her robes, still a bit out of it from the previous night. "The man is turning the Sect into his personal harem… And I don't think he knows it."
"He has all of us wrapped around his fingers, doesn't he?" And then it was his turn to take her hand, checking her pulse and Qi levels out of habit. "Now, what else did you do last night?"
"Shixiong!"
"What? Is nothing I haven’t seen before, at least from his part. And I’ve told you worse and you know it."
She groaned, caught by his sound argument. She hid her face between her hands, feeling her ears burning up, face almost scarlet as her robes.
“Well?”
She peeked at him between her fingers, pouting. But when he just crossed his arms she knew she would have no escape. "Fine. But first-" she took his cup of wine, drinking it up in a gulp, the burning on her throat matching the burning of her face.
She started talking.
--------
The plan for this was:
They played mahjong cards
They got drunk
Sqh: uhh body shots is uhh a game but is not appropriate to play with decent company Zqy: good think I'm far from decent then ;)
BODY SHOTS
Uhhhhh, as spicy as we can get
And my brain couldn't think of any creative name for their UNO version so I went with the number one in Mandarin aaaaaa
Holy shit y'all I can't believe we are 7/12 already?!?!! sdhfuishdf Send help aaaaaaaaa
aaand next on the line is Beast Peak Lady, Wu Qingfang!
here is the masterpost of all the other achievements
thank you again for this ask and for giving it a read!!! :D
Beast Peak here we gooooo~
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bbystark · 4 months ago
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chimichanga tuesday
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deadpool x stark!reader
summary: reader finds herself slightly jealous over Vanessa and Wade's previous relationship. based on this request
a/n: mdni. requests are open! i did not proofread whoops but enjoy! requests are open btw ;)
When Wade first brought up the idea of bringing you to his Chimichanga Tuesdays at Blind Al’s, you were over the moon. This was a big step for you guys and the relationship you had yet to put a title on. He had excitedly started listing the names of everyone that would be there, Colossus, Negasonic “whateverthefuck”, Blind Al, Vanessa- a wave of nausea went through you when he said her name. You weren’t the jealous type, you really weren’t, but the dude put himself through death-defying torture to live for this woman. It was hard not to feel threatened. Besides, who the fuck stays friends with an ex? It blew your mind. 
You knew about their entire history, Wade had told you a few months into hooking up. He didn’t seem to have any secrecy surrounding it, even going as far as to delve into their very active sex life (you had to tell him to shut up when he got to “a pegging christmas”). However, your own fear of his answers kept you from asking the most important one: did he still love her? Would he leave you if she decided she wanted him back? You felt so stupid. You were a Stark for God's sake, your ego should be untouchable. But alas, you actually strongly liked Wade. You were starting to head into that place where just thinking about him brought a stupid love-sick smile to your face. 
So yeah. You were a little jealous of Vannessa, and tonight was Chimichanga Tuesday. You were fucked. Both metaphorically and literally, being on your third Dirty Shirley within the hour. You were waiting for Wade to pick you up from your apartment, growing more and more nervous as time went on. You’re pulled from your thoughts when you hear the front door rattle, Wade bursting in with a stapler in hand. “Hey hot stuff! Sorry about the blood. Was running late to see your tight little ass and had to staple the toupee on the bus. Bumpy ride.” He makes his way over to you, tossing the stapler to the side and pulling you into a hug. “Hi Wade.” You melt into him. “When are you going to let me buy you lace glue for that thing?” You poke at a staple and he winces, grabbing your wrist gently. 
“Hey, the staples are very economically friendly. Not everyone has a disgustingly handsome father to inherit billions from.” He smiles at you, glancing around your apartment and seeing the large bottle of vodka sitting in the middle of your kitchen island. “Woah thirsty girl! You getting the party started already?” 
You suddenly feel ashamed, like a teen who got caught with a beer. “I’ve only had one.” He gives you a look. “Okay three!” He turns to the side and rolls his eyes to his imaginary audience. “We’re lucky she didn’t bring out the tequila. She gets real mean.” You shove him a little bit. “That was one time! It’s not that hard to say excuse me.” “Oh, I’m not mad sugarcakes. Watching you threaten to disembowel someone twice your size really got little Deadpool going. I am slightly concerned though. Broody and depressed alcoholics run in your family. What’s going on in that brain?” 
You open and close your mouth a few times, trying to find a response. You consider lying, but suddenly you feel a little light and stupid thanks to your last drink and the words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. 
“Do you still love Vannessa?” 
Wade freezes, a little shocked by the question. He’s silent for longer than he’s ever been and you’re scared you’ve gone too far. You’re about to apologize and take your words back  when he puts his finger over your lips and says “Give me two seconds for a dramatic flashback and careful introspection that will eventually lead to important character development.” You give him a strange look and he sighs. “Trust me, it’s very important to our plot.” 
Wade thinks really hard. He still loves Vannessa in his own fucked up way but he wasn’t in love with her anymore. He knew she still loved him too, but in the same way an owner can’t hate a pet that constantly bites them. Except Wade was a pet who got cancer and abandoned her, not to mention put her life on the line on multiple occasions (although to his credit, he did save her and the entire timeline). But to put it simply, somehow the two most fucked up people had the healthiest breakup ever. 
Even given the chance, Wade knows he wouldn’t go back to Vannessa because it could never be the same. Wade used to painfully long for his past before seeing a motivational poster that said “keep chugging along” with a creepy looking animated train. Then it really clicked for him. Vannessa wasn’t his happy ending, even though she had given him many in the past. If he had chosen to stay with her instead of being a lab rat for Francis St. Fuck, she would have been. But is dying of cancer and leaving the woman you love alone for the rest of her life a happy ending? He realized that if he kept looking to the past, he would forget that he had created his own weird little family, even if it wasn’t what he originally planned. He would also forget that he has a smoking hot girl in front of him that he’s quickly growing more attached to. 
Wade has been quiet and staring directly at a wall for a long time, and it’s starting to really freak you out. “Wade..?” You try gently. He snaps out of it, shaking his head and laughing a little. “Jeez these flashbacks just keep getting longer and longer, like hello that’s what sequels are for.” You stay silent, looking at him expectantly. “Oh right!” He moves closer to you, taking your hands in his.
“Yes. Yes I do still love Vannessa.” your heart drops, and you quickly pull your hands from his. 
“What the fuck Wade?” 
“No! Wait let me finish, I do still love her, but not like I did. She used to be my everything, the only reason I lived and then later, the reason I tried killing myself but that’s beside the point- what I’m trying to say is that she’s my past. And I get us still being friends is like, totally not the norm but I promise there’s nothing there anymore. I just, care about her I guess. But I don’t want to keep letting my past get in the way of things that are happening now.” He looks you in the eye for the last part, and you almost tear up at the sight of The Wade Wilson being serious for once, and to you of all people. You take a few seconds before replying. 
“I know she’s a huge part of your very unconventional life, and I don’t want to get all psycho and say that I don’t want you to see her because really, I truly don’t mind. Just kind of had a jealous monster take over for a second. I’m sorry.” You give him a shy smile. 
“Hey, I’m just surprised you still haven’t realized you’re fucking an avacado’s abortion. That’s a win in my book.” You both laugh and you take his face in your hands gently, smiling. You don’t really have much to say, you still feel silly, even more so that he’s essentially calmed all your insecurities. So you just stare at him, the drinks in your system letting your fingers dance across his face, just taking all of him in. Wade can’t handle it. 
“I think I like you.” He blurts out. He cringes, he can’t believe he just confessed like a middle schooler. “Bad Deadpool.” he whispers to himself. 
You laugh and then bring his face to yours for a clumsy kiss. “I think I like you too. Avocado abortion face and all.” You kiss him again, slower this time, trying to avoid the staples poking out of his scalp when you place your hand on his neck. He pulls away slowly, eyes still closed. “Good Deadpool.”
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hoshifighting · 3 months ago
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HELP ME!!OMFG GGJFHC OKAY SO I GOT THIS ONE THOUGHT IN MY HEAD SEEING THAT I READ YOUR WONWOO AND JOSHUA THREESOME!!! (WHICH BTW IS REALLY FUCKING GOOD ) BUT AT THE PART WHERE IT SAID THAT JOSHUA AND WONWOO WAS BOTH REALLY CLOSE TO CUMMING I HAD THIS VISION WHERE JOSH IS FUCKING YOU AND HE IS SO SO SO CLOSE TO CUMMIN AND IS SO WHINY ABOUT IT LIKE A WHIMPERING MOANING MESS (I LOVE WHINY BABYBOY JOSH) SO YEAH SEEING THAT YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD WRITER MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS TO ASK YOU BECAUSE YOU WOULD SEE MY VISION AND BRING IT TO LIFE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MAKE HIM SUPER DESPERATE AND WHINY AND BASICALLY A MOANING MESS
And oh BTW are you bi (just asking for a friend)
warnings: smut, babyboy whining mess!joshua.
a/n: yes i am, bi pride all day, hope your friend is happy dsoiasdhishd 🙃
hmm moaning mess joshua that you definitely CANT fuck with in public because of his loud ass? FUCK YES! like, the man does not know how to be quiet, and honestly, you kind of love it. there’s been so many times you’ve had to cover his mouth or beg him to keep it down because the walls in your place are way too thin, and your neighbors? yeah, they’ve had enough of his 1 a.m. symphonies. but the second you tell him to shush, he gets all flustered, blushing like crazy, mumbling, “sorry, baby, i’ll try,” but it never lasts. like, two seconds later, and he’s right back to being a whimpering mess, burying his face in your neck, trying and failing to keep it together.
and the thing is, you’d think he’d be the shy one, right? but nah. he loves the idea of getting caught, even though he’s always so embarrassed after, stuttering through his apologies when someone hears you two. you’re touching him, teasing him just a little, and he’s already making those soft little noises, all breathy, like he can’t even help himself.
you remember one time, exactly 3 a.m., because you were wide awake, trying to calm him down. your neighbor had already banged on the wall twice, and you were trying to be good, keep things low-key. but joshua? nah. you were barely touching him, just running your hand down his chest, and he was already gasping, hips jerking up into your touch like he was starving for it. and you had to be like, “josh, you gotta be quiet, seriously,” but he was biting his lip so hard, trying to keep it together, and failing so bad. he just looked up at you, all wide-eyed, breathing like he’d just run a marathon, and whispered, “i’m sorry, i just— i can’t help it.” and then boom, he’s back to moaning into your neck, trying to muffle the sounds but doing a terrible job at it. like, you swear he wants to be caught sometimes. his hands are gripping the sheets so hard, his body trembling, and every little thing you do makes him fall apart even more. you’re barely even teasing him, but every time your hand slides lower, he’s whimpering, like actually whimpering, all desperate and needy.
he tries, he really does, but the moment your lips brush his collarbone or you move a little too fast, it’s over. and public? god. he’s a nightmare in public, but the best kind of nightmare. like, it’s a thrill for him, but he’s so bad at keeping quiet. you’d be out, somewhere so normal like the back of a car, and he’s already panting, eyes darting around like someone’s gonna catch you two, but you know he loves it. he’ll try to hide his face, but the moment your hand slips under his shirt, just a little, you’ve got him trembling again. his breathing’s all erratic, and you can feel him trying to hold back, but it’s not happening. and you’re teasing him, whispering, “u really can’t stay quiet baby?” and he’s just shaking his head, a soft little whine escaping his lips before he finally loses it. it’s always the same—he starts out all shy, biting his lip, cheeks burning red, whispering “i’ll be good, i’ll be quiet,” but it never lasts. you press just the right button, and suddenly, he’s a wreck, moaning so loud you’re half-worried someone’s gonna hear. but at the same time? you love it. you love how he can’t help himself, how he’s so lost in it that he forgets where you even are.
you remember that one time in the kitchen, it was early in the morning, like, nobody should’ve been awake, but there you were, kissing him against the counter. and you weren’t even doing much, just running your hands under his shirt, feeling his abs tense under your touch, when he let out this softest, neediest sound. and you had to stop, look at him, like, “seriously? here?” and he just nodded.
you were trying to be nice, trying to keep it slow, but the more you touched him, the louder he got. “you gotta be quiet,” you said, but he just whimpered, nodding, trying to bite his lip again but failing. and every time your hand moved lower, you could feel the tension in him, the way his body was practically begging for more. he was trying so hard to keep it together. and then it happened—he let out this loud, shaky moan, and you had to cover his mouth with your hand, whispering, “joshua, seriously, someone’s gonna hear.” but he just groaned into your palm, eyes screwed shut, hips bucking up into your touch. and honestly? you love that about him. that no matter how much he tries to be quiet, he just can’t. you’re the only one who can turn him into that moaning mess, into someone who’s so lost in you that nothing else matters.
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bearieio · 5 months ago
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hockey!abby x f!reader note: i'm a simple person, i like abby, i like hockey..... drools sfw, 721 words
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abby is the star hockey player, and newly appointed captain on the ice hockey team associated with your guys’ university
it was truly amazing how well she ended up playing in the semi-finals when you were in the lower bowl of the arena, wearing her teams’ jerseys.
during the break, after 2nd period ended, you caught her staring in your direction from the bench when you looked up from your phone.
she sat with her elbows propped up on her thighs. her cheeks were painted a rosy color and she was huffing up a storm from the previous altercation on the rink.
she sported her signature French braid and her baby hairs stuck to her glistening forehead.
when you looked back up from your phone, it seemed as though her eyes widened and the next thing you saw was her braid whip around as she seemed to turn her head the opposite way quickly.
you’d never talked to her in person before, but apparently, everyone else who attended your guys’ college was familiar with her.
from what everyone in your dorm was saying, she’s somewhat of the “playboy” type 🤨
abby was dazzled by you, to say the least.
she’d first seen you at what you guys later figured out was a mutual friend’s band gig.
the set was amazing btw.
she’d seen you from across the room dancing with your friend in the back of the basement-like location nonstop since the band had started playing.
she studied your facial expressions from the doorway she was leaning against. the way your hips swayed to the rhythm of the song. how your smile didn’t fade for the entire night and your eyebrows scrunched a little when you were really into one of the band’s songs.
before abby could make her way over to you after the set, you and the person you came with were already gone.
abby had tried asking around if anyone at the event knew you but unfortunately, no one said they did.
she was lowkey a #stalker..
the weekend after the semi-finals, the first time you’d both crossed paths, you had a psych exam at 07:30 in the morning.
abby had just been transferred to your dorm hall and was moving her things into the room diagonal to yours.
she’d grown tired of the roommates she had and decided to move into a single dorm to finish out the rest of her junior year in uni.
you were outside your door, rummaging through your bag for your keys that you could’ve sworn you through in there last night.
as soon as abby came out of her dorm, she froze. she couldn’t believe who was in front of her.
her eyes went wide as she gazed at you from her side of the hall.
be cool, abby, she thought to herself.
she couldn’t help but chuckle when she heard you curse under your breath.
“are you lookin’ for those?”
you jumped at the sudden sound of someone talking behind you.
you look back, surprised to see the hockey player leaning against her door, arms crossed, and with a sly-looking smile on her face.
she motioned toward to floor.
when your tilt her head towards where she was pointing, you saw your keys. they’d fallen by your feet while you were rushing to get to your class.
“oh! thank you!” you smiled, picking up your keys and locking your door.
“so uh.. where’re you headed? it’s pretty early,” abby asked, now stepping toward you.
“oh i have a psych exam- I HAVE A PSYCH EXAM!” you realized what you were originally rushing out of your dorm for in the first place.
looking down at your phone- 07:14 AM- it took you around 10 minutes to walk to the building in which your professor said to meet for the test.
“i’m sooo sorry, i have to go!” you quickly announced to the woman.
you were practically sprinting out the door before abby had any time to say another word!
but fret not! abby totally took a long glance at your ass before you were out the door ;)
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perhaps if i feel like it, i'll make multiple parts to this cuz i really like the trope, but this piece didn't have that much to do with hockey itself :( BUT IDK YET!! lemme know guys.... 😰
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love4layla · 1 month ago
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can you make a headcanon to hawks bakgou and deku (Separate) accidentally making their s/o cry?
(btw ignore my name💀)
A/N:(Definitely Ignoring the name 😭) Holy shit bro I deleted the app for a while so I am SO sorry for being THIS late.
MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN AGAIN!
ACCIDENTLY MAKING THEIR S/O CRY
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Bakugo, Hawks, Deku x Reader
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Bakugo
He was outside of the dormitory training. You had finished earlier and just went to chill in your room and just hang around for a while. Minutes turned into hours and you started to get a little worried for him, he hadn’t come inside yet, not even to eat. You decided to go and check on him. You walk out to where he normally trains and you see him flying in the air and aggressively and swiftly hitting the dummy with precision. You could see that fire in his eyes that he always got when he fought. You waited till he was done and then you talked to him. “Hey babe. It’s getting a little late don’t you think? Iida made some food inside.” You sit down next to him. He was already a little irritated before you came over. “No.” He says bluntly. You were a title taken aback but you continue to push. “Katsuki… you haven’t eaten all da-“ “I said I’m fine bitch! I’m not a little ass kid you need to take care of!” He snapped. Your eyes go wide. “Well I’m sorry for trying to make sure you don’t end up hurting yourself because you’re undernourished.” You snap back with attitude. “I don’t need someone telling what to do all the time. If you’re gonna be like that then I’ll just leave your ass in the dirt.” He says as he gets back up to train. It’s almost like your whole world stops, you feel your throat tighten and your body stiffen. Tears start to stream as you turn around and walk back inside to your dorm room. His eyes widen as he face palms as himself, fuck. A couple of hours later, you’re in your bed and sulking about what he had said, was he actually going to break up with you? Was it all over? He knocks on your door but ends up using the spare key you gave him due to hearing no answer. He walks in and sit in the edge of your bed. “Listen…I didn’t mean it alright.. I was just pissed off about sumthin else…” he grumbled trying to apologize. He ends up sighing when you don’t budge. He leans down and kisses your cocooned figure, “I’m sorry babe. I love you…” . We cuddled for the rest of the night
Hawks
You had been dating Hawks since he was the number 3 Hero. You’ve been through the highs and lows with him. all the missed dates, all the times he stood you up due to hero work. You stocked with him through it all. He always had something more important and you were getting tired of it. You had had a talk with him about how it all made you feel and he apologized and promised to change. You were out with him, having a mini date while he was on break. You two haven’t had a date in a while. He had promised you a nice cafe lunch because he knew they were your favorite. Everything was sweet and nice. He gets a call from someone. He picks up his phone “Yo” he picks it up. “Hey, what’s up…….huh?……I’m kinda in the middle of something right now…….alright fine” he hangs up the phone. “Hey babe, I gotta dip early.” Your face dropped and you got a little irritated. “What why?” You ask him. He doesn’t even tell you why, he gets up and waves “Bye baby! I gotta go”. And there you were again, left alone. You couldn’t stop your tears from falling in public. People were following hawks all the time, because, you know, he’s fucking Hawks, snapping photos of him whenever they could. You head home after you finish crying and start to cook dinner. Once you put the noddles on to boil, you scroll on your phone. You suddenly see post of you, red faced, teary eyed and bye yourself.
“Hawks’ new girlfriend crying after he left her. So sad #celebritycouples #whoisthischick?
You scroll through the comments:
“Poor girl…”
“Hawks has a girlfriend?”
Hawks was on his way home from his duties, he scrolls on his phone, his eyes widen as he sees multiple photos of you, teary eyes and mascara dripping. His head drops “Shit!” He picks up his pace as he speeds through the sky to your shared home. He opens the back door of the balcony. “Honey? Babe? Y/n!” He looks around the house for you until he finds you on their bed watching Disney+ on your laptop. You look up “Oh your back. At-“ You look at the time, “12:03am.. did you have fun?”. His heart breaks as he realizes he did EXACTLY what he promised not to do. He sits down in the bed next to you, gently taking your hand. “Y/n…. I’m so sorry honey…” he kissed you. “I saw the posts….i feel terrible baby I am so sorry I made you feel like that.” He changed out of his hero suit and kissed you in the bed until you both fell asleep (watching Moana)
Izuku Midoriya
You and Midoriya never, and I mean NEVER fight. You two had been training together for hours, it was cold outside so you two had to dress for it. (Y’all know his EVERYTHING hurts more when you’re cold outside). You two were hitting move after move, dodge after dodge. You two were in perfect unison. You two had taken a break to catch your breaths. Then you two got back to it, he zoned out mid fight and wasn’t paying full attention. Instead of landing the hit to your legs like he intended he miscalculated and landed a powerful kick it right on your breast. (Girlies know how painful that is holy-) You screamed out and tears fell from your face as you hunched over. “FUCK-“ He panicked and runs over to you “Damnit! Oh my god are you okay?! I’m so sorry!” He saw the tears falling and his heart broke. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry” he tried to find a way to make this better. He picked you up and carried you inside to the dorm commons’ couch. After a couple of minutes of him panicking, the pain went away. It was bruised but it wasn’t bad. “Y/n, I am so sorry. I got distracted and I didn’t know where I was kicking and-“ you cut him off with a hug. “It’s fine baby. I mean…. yeah it hurt like a bitch, but I’m fine now” you smile and hug him. He sighs and relaxes “Okay”
MasterList<3
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these-posts-arent-real · 8 months ago
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warrior cats dash sim anyone?
#no canon characters #sorray guys thats too much #im just gonna do some made up dudes
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🔲 yourfave-tunnel-guy-deactivat
Guys I hate tunnellers. Lmao.
🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow
By StarClan, I hate this mindset. Tunnellers are such an underappreciated part of WindClan society. Just because we don't do as much running or typical hunting doesn't make us less valuable than you. Op and cats like him are so stupid.
🌻 l1llyst3m Follow
Crow-food-worth reading comprehension lmao. It was satire (the url clearly states "tunnel.") Also, her*
🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow
Ok I see where that was probably satire (OP should have made that more clear though) Where are you getting "her" from though lmao. OP's url is "yourfave-tunnel-guy"
🌻 l1llyst3m Follow
I'm getting "her" because I'm OP. This is my new account. I'm trans. Hope this helps.
#i said so in the tags of the last addition #but as i said. crow-food-worth reading comprehension #prev probably didnt even read my tags lmao
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🌾 barncat-vibes Follow
I am goingto fucking kill Jadestar. Lmao.
🌾 barncat-vibes Follow
WRONG BLOG
🐱 berrrrry-o Follow
Clanblr user barncat-vibes is from rc confirmed??
🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow
Haha I already knew that, I'm mutuals with them on their main, plus we're IRL friends. Forgot that wasn't common knowledge.
🐱 berrrrry-o Follow
tbh I always assumed they were wc since thats the clan closest 2 the barns...
🪵 i-eat-moss Follow
Uh sorry ar ewe just glossing over how @barncat-vibes and @trouttail-prefers-bass are IRLS???!!!!?
#mutuals i can understand since they have the same ideas on like #social justice stuff... they both post trans stuff sometimes #but #IRLS? #SOMEONE is fucking with me #i met trouttail once at a gathering #nice dude #suuuper weird to imagine him knowing barncat-vibes
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🌅 kit-names-inspo Follow
I've decided to make a full post on this, since I've noticed this issue a lot lately. So let me make this clear:
I am NOT comfortable with "transgender" cats using my name suggestions to pick out new names. The service I provide is to help queens who have or are having kits, not confused males who think they're mollies.
STOP using my blog for your delusions.
🌅 kit-names-inspo Follow
Go ahead and unfollow me. I didn't want you 200 transgenders on my blog anyway.
🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow
Anyone else find it funny how after this post OP lost 200+ followers? Anyone?
Anyway for a better source of names for trans mollies, toms & enbies, @name-lists-by-theme has much better names, sorted much more cleanly, AND she's not a transphobe.
#trans #fuck transphobia #fuck transphobes #fuck terfs #<- kit-names-inspo is a self-proclaimed radfem&terf btw
17,092 notes
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🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged
🤍 snwtl Follow
I can't believe we're being told to "normalize" cats becoming kittypets now. Do you have any idea how many cats would just abandon their families if it became socially acceptable to run off and live with the twolegs???
🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow
Honestly (as someone who left the Clans because I had a mate in the twolegplace), I haven't seen this to be as true as you're saying. I've seen one cat who "abandoned" his family to become a kittypet, if you count his abusive ex-partner, but for the most part, the cats we leave behind are understanding and okay with the fact that we have to move on. I wasn't meant for warrior life, and I left it, and I'm happier for it.
🤍 snwtl Follow
The fact that you would even imply it's okay to abandon your family for a life as a kittypet only serves to prove my point. You make me sick.
🪺 robbbinpaw Follow
Crow-food-worth reading comprehension
#yeah #snwtl (snowtail i think?) needs to use their eyes lmao #starclan this place gets on my last nerve #thinking of taking a break from clanblr because of shit like this
847 notes
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🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow
Uhh... where am I. My dash looks weird...
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mcshizzle-the-fire-boy · 7 months ago
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PJO characters as dumb things me and my friends ( bonus one with my parents ) have said part two
Will: what's your type?
Nico: you
Will:
Will: that's sweet but I meant blood type
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Percy: oh fuck I'm blue now
Percy: but like actually blue
Percy: like a smurf
Percy: being sad's for idiots lmao
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Leo: everyone hates me lol
Jason: what am I??? like???
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Nico: and Axl Rose's real name wasn't Axl Rose
Percy: *crying* STOP
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Will: easiest way to come out to people is tell them that you listen to coldplay
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Nico: Im gonna fugging krill myself
Annabeth: krill????
Nico: isn't that like a fish or smth
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Piper: *knocking on Leo's door* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE
Leo: uh shit uh erm uh
Leo: *moans loudly*
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Will: *joking* we should makeout
Nico: I really wanna
Will: what
Nico: ...
Nico: did I say that out loud
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Piper: *sobbing* why are penises so ugly
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Annabeth: math is weirdly calming to me sometimes ngl
Annabeth: *flips page over to read massive paragraphs of words*
Annabeth: *bursts into tears*
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Will: I just had to help hatch a baby chick
Will:
Will: I'm waiting for applause it was so gross
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Will: if you drink the water I'll give you a forehead smooch
Nico: *glances at water, thinking*
Nico: nah you wanna give me one anyway
Will: gods dammit
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Rachel: *GASP* MY SKETCHBOOK
Rachel: MY BABY
Rachel: *kisses it*
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Hazel: ugh I want someone to fuck me
Hazel: hahah jk that shit's nasty
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Piper: yeah I've noticed after watching you for a bit that you smile whenever Nico messages
Will: aww that's so swee-
Will: wait why are you watching me
Piper: *stares into his soul*
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Nico: I miss you
Nico: *replies an hour later* that was a moment of weakness fuck you
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Will: what if I say "darling" in a seductive voice
Nico: no
Will: u sure?
Nico: I ahdiamdveip dnsjhbksahcblaiwcbjsd-
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Will: like at first I wanted to be you but then I realized that there's a diffrence between wanting to "be you" and wanting to "be on you"
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Percy: I'm depressed
Percy: ...
Percy: WAIT I HAVE COOKIES NVM
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Will: wtf are hickeys??
Will: I'm an experimental learner btw
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Leo: omg guys look the guitar strings made my finger darker
Leo: *looks at finger* do you like watermelon, sir?
Will: you are so close to being hit in the head
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Frank: *points* haha you've been fingered
Hazel:
Hazel: love... no
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Thalia: OMG IM GONNA BE BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS RYAN GULDEMOND
Reyna: technically you already are
Thalia: *passes out*
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Octavian: ugh I'm so single
Nico: *sighs* me too
Nico:
Nico: WAIT I CANT SAY THAT ANYMORE
Nico: FUCK YEEEEEEEEAH *smashes table*
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Annabeth: what's ur favourite animal I'm gonna buy you something
Percy: shark but don't waste your money
Annabeth: but my parents told me to spend it on something important
Percy:
Percy: *cries*
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Will: I'm autism!!
Will: *turns to Nico, wiggle eyebrows* I could be in you
Nico: tism rizz????
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Frank: I love these drama videos
Reyna: *massive bags under her eyes* why do you want more drama wtf
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Jason: honestly scared to sit on the edges of chairs at my trans boyfriend's house
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Percy: *over text* jason are you gay for me
Jason:
Jason:
Jason:
Jason: no gtg
Percy: he's hiding something
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Piper: don't mean to be heterophobic but why is straight porn so gross
Nico: agreed gay porn is much better
Piper: IM SORRY WHAT
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Percy: are there any not cool lesbians
Reyna: I mean they probably exsist
Annabeth: no
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Leo: *sighs sadly* cock and ball torture
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Will: guys I learnt how to play my favourite song on guitar *starts playing good lookin by dixon dallas*
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Leo: *playing adopt me*
Leo: chat chat guess what I'm on acid
Percy: KARMA'S A BITCH
Percy: I SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER
Leo: wait since when do you play adopt me
Percy:
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Reyna: yk those yummy smelling shampoos
Nico: yea
Reyna: well I went to walmart and thought I found some and started smelling it but this lady was giving me weird looks
Nico: oh?
Reyna: yeah
Reyna: so uh
Reyna: it was lube
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Will: hey bbg *winks*
Nico: I will slam you down and makeout with you right now
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Percy: hi
Jason: hi
*leaves swirl around them*
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Leo: don't mind me just massaging my clit
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Leo: NICO GET UR GYAT OVER HERE
Nico: WHAT????
Leo: *points* HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES
Nico: WHAT DID U SAY
Leo: HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES
Nico: OH
Nico: I HEARD SEXUAL TENDANCIES
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Leo: *singing* coked up dick sucking hoe?
Jason: *walks in*
Jason:
Leo: oh haiiii
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Leo: how does it feel to be Draco Malfoy
Jason: idk how does it feel to be tweek
Leo: idk pretty good
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Reyna: you don't deserve it
Percy: yeah I do
Percy: I've been a good boy
Percy:
Percy: jesus I just turned myself on wtf
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Leo: *in sad voice* I'm a cheeseburger
Jason: a sexy little cheeseburger
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Will: *gets text from Nico*
Annabeth: SIMP
Will: ???
Annabeth: YOU SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPP *has siezure*
-
Will: darling
Nico: *throws phone, screams into pillow, face red* I hate that man
anyway part three will cum ( pun intended )
thanks to @crowwolf8 @justagremlinoncaffeine @localcosplaymushroom @secret-mewtwo and my om and dad for being inspiring an shit
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