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violetsiren90 · 11 months ago
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All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader
💜 Chapter 3: Part 2 💜
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Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)
Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader
Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured
Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?
Chapter Word Count: ~7k
Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; depictions of cancer and its treatment; secondhand embarrassment; awkward situations; soulmate skinship; loss of consciousness; dudes dude-broing a bit lol; mentions of minor character death (in past); cursing; chemo therapy and its symptoms; nausea and vomiting; characters eat meals; Reader is starting to grapple with some difficult feelings; Hybe kinda sorta depicted as being collective assholes in responding to this situation (gonna be a theme, guys)
Author's Note: Here comes part two! I know this is months coming (again), but I've finally found my stride with writing and work. I had this mostly done, and then redid some parts and finished editing, and well...I just hope you all enjoy it! My hope is to post part three in two weeks - I really want to get into a groove with plot progression here!
There is a lot of content in this chapter about medical procedures and treatment. I tried my best to represent these as accurately as possible with what information I could acquire, but if there are any misrepresentations, great or small, please don't hesitate to let me know!
Thank you again to all who have stuck with this story! I continue to be blown away by how much love you have all showered upon it, and I'm so excited to walk the path I intend for these two and have you all along for the ride!!
P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or an ask!
P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜
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"Out of sheer taciturnity the ceiling listens To the fall of ancient leafless rain, To feathers, to whatever the night imprisoned." ~Pablo Neruda
Chapter 3: My Windows Ache
Namjoon's labs had come back with even more promising numbers. A radiology scan had shown no shrinkage in his tumors, but the doctors commented that these were early days, and that the effects of the bond might even be keeping them from inflaming due to the chemo. You had watched him, smiling as the doctor reviewed the result, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. Your soulmate was on the road to recovery. 
     Nurse Cha quickly checked both of you over before initiating another skinship session.
     "I saw you out on the grounds earlier, and for the first time in weeks," she said, shooting Namjoon an approving grin. "Keep that up. He needs sunlight and fresh air," she remarked to you, flustering you even as you nodded in agreement.
     Why was she telling you that? Were you his keeper?
     Actually, you supposed, in fact, you were.
     You peeked back up at him and found him regarding you with a small, amused smile, which disconcerted you further. You shook your head, shooting him an eye-roll as you made your way into the bathroom to disrobe.
     After your first few experiences with skinship, you had asked Matt to acquire you some sporty, conservative sports bra and boy-short sets, and you slipped into one, pulling a hospital gown over it. After the way your conversation with Hyung-seo had unfolded you were glad to have them - the practical underwear felt far less intimate and flirty than your typical bras and panties, giving you much more peace of mind. 
     As you left the bathroom and made your way back to Namjoon's half of the suite, you noticed him sitting on top of the covers, long legs stretched out in front of him, in nothing but a black tee and blue boxers. He had a drip attached to a tube that ran under his shirt. When Nurse Cha glanced up from her touchscreen tablet to see you approaching, she waved her hand for you to come around to the other side of the bed, which had been adjusted to accommodate Namjoon's upright position.
     "We’re going to try this sitting up today," she explained as she typed. "He's on a chemo drip right now, and the doctor wants to see if the bond will help ease the nausea and some of the other side effects. I heard you just had a nice lunch, so it would be wonderful if Namjoon could hang onto his."
     She shot him a rueful smirk and he let out a chuckle. You smiled in turn and nodded as you slipped off your hospital gown and draped it over the end of the bed. You glanced up at Namjoon who had cast his eyes down at his hands, folded in his lap. The huge apparatus was lower than usual, so you slipped rather easily into it and against Namjoon's side. He raised an arm to drape over your shoulders and you settled against him, pressing your bare leg against his. It was comical how much shorter yours were, but you could only think of that for a fraction of a second as every other thought in your mind melted at the feeling of the man beside you.
     Butter. Warm, melted butter. It was as if every single muscle group in your body had suddenly released every bit of tension it had been holding. So many sensations at once, but this was the one you felt like leaning into at the moment. You felt like collapsing against him.
He sighed deeply through his nose. Yeah, you felt that on a spiritual level. Mmh. 
     Your melty, bond-induced reverie was broken, however, by a dissatisfied noise from Nurse Cha as she stepped toward the bed. You looked up to find her expression matched her tone. 
     "You're not really getting much contact," she said, scanning her eyes over everywhere you touched...and didn't. 
     You raised your arms slightly and a bit uselessly. You felt Namjoon lean forward.
     "Should I...like..." you looked to her for direction, but she was already in motion. 
     She grabbed your arm, guiding you off the bed and motioned for Namjoon to scoot back to the middle. She said something to Namjoon in Korean and suddenly he was tugging his shirt over his head. You felt your cheeks getting hot. Social norms had not prepared you for this amount of casual nudity. You stood there, eyes glued to Nurse Cha, hugging your arms over your middle and hoping that Namjoon was playing his usual blessed game of "look anywhere but soulmate". The nurse took your arm again and guided you back toward your previous perch.
     "Sit between his legs and lean back against his chest," she instructed, nudging you to join him.
You looked up at Namjoon. His face looked like you felt. And then it was just too much. You were standing in a hospital in South Korea in your underwear being asked to sit in a practically naked celebrity's lap so that he wouldn't die.
     You busted out laughing.
     Nurse Cha jumped, surprise clear in her features as she regarded you. 
     "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You gasped, bending over to support yourself against the bed as you continued to chuckle, "This is just..."
     You snorted. Mortified but still attempting to swallow your giggles you clapped a hand over your mouth and looked up at Namjoon whose dimples were out and whose shoulders were shaking with his own silent amusement. Nurse Cha's lips curved up a bit to one side, but her narrowed eyes spoke of far less hilarity felt.
     "Here's the thing," you said, turning to the nurse while still biting back your laughter, "Namjoon is spoken for, and...well...I have a pretty nice ass."
     The nurse's eyes widened.
     You were probably being really impolite. That would have been borderline in the States. You weren't sure about here, but you felt like that might have broken some unspoken rules. Or, maybe spoken ones because there were a lot of formalities, you were learning. But you had reached your limit with all this. The awkwardness levels were at maximum, and you were gonna cope the only way you knew how - with humor.
     When you hazarded a look at your soulmate, he had drawn his knees up, grabbing them with his hands, his head dropped between them and his shoulders shaking as he badly repressed laughter of his own. You could see those dimples again. They were even deeper than before.
     "We need to get maximum skin-to-skin contact during these sessions," Nurse Cha insisted indignantly, clearly a bit flustered. 
     "I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you offered her a contrite smile as you rocked back on your feet. 
     "Ah!" Namjoon drew your attention as he pointed behind you. "Throw me that pillow?" 
     You grabbed the little green cushion from the corner of the couch and tossed it to him. He lowered his legs and placed it over his lap.
     "How's that?" he asked with a closed-lip smirk.
     You gave him a thumbs up and clambered back onto the bed to situate yourself between his legs. You looked back over at Nurse Cha. 
     "Better?" 
     She raised a brow as she handed you a blanket. You thanked her quietly and cleared your throat as you fanned it out over your legs and Namjoon's, tucking it up to your waist. The nurse checked Namjoon's vitals and said that she would return in an hour to take him off the drip.
     You sank back tentatively against your soulmate's chest, careful to avoid the little port below his sternum. There it was again. Butter.
     Somewhere above and behind you, Namjoon chuckled. You smiled knowingly.
     "What?" you asked indignantly.
     "Did you see her face when you said that?"
     You shrugged against him.
     "Hey, it's true!" you insisted.
     "Sorry if this is uncomfortable for you," he murmured.
     You could hear that he was still smiling, but he sounded serious all the same. You let your head fall back.
     "Honestly, I felt bad for you," you huffed in another laugh before sobering. "And, thank you," you turned, casting your eyes up over your shoulder, "For always being so respectful. It's made this a lot easier."
     "Oh," Namjoon responded softly, "Of course." 
     You looked at his arms resting at his sides and thought of what Nurse Cha had said. You slowly picked up his hands in yours, raising them slightly.
     "May I put them around me? For more contact," you asked.
     You asked it boldly, but you felt shy. You wanted the chemo to work. You wanted it to stop hurting him while it did. When Namjoon let out a low hum of assent you drew his forearms around your waist and laid your own over them.
     Your eyes slipped shut. So euphoric but it always made you feel like sleeping. You weren't going to give into the urge, though, not just yet. There were conversations to be had.
     "Tell me about Hyung-seo," you prompted softly, shifting against him to get comfortable. 
     He was quiet for a moment.
     "Well," he responded slowly, "what do you want to know?"
     "How did you meet her?"
     He went quiet again. Then he sighed a small sigh. You wondered what that little breath carried.
     "She debuted in 2019. A buddy of mine - Seo Jungkwon, he goes by Tiger JK in the industry -  had signed her to his agency. Bangtan was just taking off, things were blowing up. I actually collaborated with him which is when I met her."
     He silenced for a moment.
     "We had a lot in common - how we approached life and music."
     "Had?" you asked, gently.
     He heaved another sigh. 
     "The last few years have been really tough on her. I mean, she hasn't had an easy life to begin with, but..."
     He paused, as if deciding whether or not to utter the words he wanted to say next.
     "Anyway," he redirected himself, and you wondered what thought he had dismissed, "Preparing for a tour is grueling, and this is her first one. I think the stress is really getting her."
     You hummed in acknowledgement. You recognized it in his voice - you should after all, as the same sound had echoed so often in your own - the hollow clemency of lying to yourself on someone else's behalf. 
     "Well," you offered, "She's lucky to have you supporting her, especially when you're going through such a difficult time yourself."
     Namjoon scoffed.
     "I mean, yeah, I'm sick, but...I don't know. In a lot of ways my life has been a lot easier these days. A lot simpler."
     "Really? In what way?"
     He huffed out a wry laugh.
     "I have so much time to just do whatever. Read, write...I've been learning a couple of languages. I get to do v-lives with ARMY pretty regularly, as the company allows - Jungkook went kind of crazy with it before enlistment so we have to go through them for access now."
     You had no idea what a v-live was, but from what little you had seen of Jungkook, you could imagine it took very little for him to get up to a significant amount of shenanigans. You smirked.
     "Did you have so little time for those things before?" you queried.
     "No! No way. It was like running non-stop for ten years. During my time in the military, I got a bit of a break and a change, but then I got sick and had to be discharged early, so...well, I didn't even get to experience that like I should have."
     You felt your hands tighten in response around his forearms. His life hadn't been cake-walk either, that was clear. You wondered if he knew that, if he acknowledged it.
     "Well, I'm glad you have more time for those things. You should keep as much time for them as you can, even when you're better."
     He paused for a moment before whispering agreement into your hair. You felt it even though he didn't say it, the caveat - if he got better. He would. You'd never make him a promise you couldn't guarantee, but you could make one to yourself. So you did.
     For the rest of the session you talked about Bangtan, and the recent history of the group's situation.
     You learned about conscription and that it applied to idols as well. You learned the members had decided to enlist pretty much around the same time so that they could reunite to tour again after being discharged. Namjoon had been released ahead of schedule when he had fallen ill, and at this point most of the members had followed, save Yoongi who was set to be discharged the following week. He fondly reported that they were all anxious to meet you, and that Jungkook and Jimin hadn't stopped pestering him with all manner of questions in your regard since their visit the previous day.
     Every time you had heard him speak about his members, the deep brotherly affection that permeated his words was incredibly evident. 
You asked him to tell you about each one, and he did.
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     You blinked your eyes open as you felt Namjoon shift you in his arms. You slowly pulled yourself forward, struggling to focus.
     "I...I'm sorry," you murmured, "I fell asleep on you again." 
     Namjoon chuckled and assured you it was quite alright. As you wearily slipped off the mattress to stand, you suddenly felt the room tilt and your knees buckle. Namjoon's reflexes were quick enough to catch you in his arms. He stood to pull you up and hold you against him.
     "You okay?" he asked in concern.
     "I...I got dizzy..."
     You attempted to put your weight into your legs, but failed, sagging weakly against his broad frame.
     Nurse Cha was already in motion.
     "Help her to the bed," she ordered, striding across the room. 
     Namjoon wasted no time in scooping you up in a bridal carry to follow her. You gasped despite yourself, the sudden movement and his strength equally surprising. But every thought was fleeting as you found yourself struggling to maintain a grip on consciousness.
     You felt Namjoon lay you gently on the bed as cold, sticky monitors were pressed to your skin; heard him ask the nurse what was the matter, his voice tinged with anxiety. 
You heard him say your name.
     And then you heard nothing.
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     You groaned as you came to. Your throat felt like the Sahara and your head was pounding. Pushing yourself to sit up, you became aware of the sound of voices on the other side of the curtain. Carefully drawing your legs to the edge of the bed, you clutched your IV stand as you struggled to your feet.
     Pulling back the hanging divider, you were surprised to see Matt occupying the little couch, a cup of coffee on the low table in front of him. Namjoon sat in the opposing chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees in rapt attention as the older man spoke. It was dark out.
     "Matt," you croaked, shuffling forward.
     Namjoon's head whipped around at the sound of your voice and he sprang up, just a moment faster than his guest, striding over to take you by the arm. You faltered just a moment in your steps as his hand cradled your elbow and you felt it - his touch and what it did to you. You wanted to curl into him. You wanted him to hold you.
You gently tugged your arm away.
     "You're awake - let me call the nurse," he said, almost to himself as he moved to press the red call button. 
     You sank down beside Matt.
     "What time is it?" you asked in a husky murmur. Your friend checked his watch.
     "1:33am."
     You frowned, blinking blearily.
     "What the heck are you doing here at the hour?"
     "Well!" Matt laughed before taking a sip of his coffee, "It's nice to see you too."
     "You know what I mean..." you grumbled, rubbing your eyes.
     "He called me," he said, gesturing with his raised mug toward Namjoon, who had returned to the armchair. "Said you'd had a fainting spell."
     Your eyes followed his motion to your soulmate, who was already scanning his over you, brow furrowed and full lips pursed pensively.
     "How are you feeling?" Namjoon asked.
     You huffed out a mirthless chuckle.
     "Like I got hit by a freight train."
     The worry lines on his brow deepened.
     "Hey, look..." you held up a hand to wave it weakly between both men as they regarded you in apparent concern. "I'm probably just adjusting to the bond or something. Cancer isn't contagious, you know," you ribbed, shooting a tiny smirk at Namjoon who attempted to return the expression though the smile didn't reach his eyes.
     The night shift nurse and an aid entered the room to assess you. Namjoon asked to speak with a doctor, and was told that Dr. Na would be checking in first thing in the morning. The nurse had very little else to report other than that your blood work had been sent to the lab and that they would be able to determine more once your results were available. He informed Matt that some charts would likely be available in twenty-four hours, but that your CMP could take up to three days. The aid urged you to try to get some more rest. Before departing, the nurse removed your spent sodium chloride drip and said that a meal would be sent up which you were advised to eat if possible, but to be sure to report any signs of food-rejection should they appear.
     Namjoon stood and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he gazed at your little portion of the suit.
     "They want you to rest, but how the hell are you supposed to sleep with me over here snoring? It's keeping you up, right?"
     You smirked.
     "Well, most of my rest over the last couple of days has been due to a lack of consciousness, but I do have to admit that you woke me up a couple of times last night."
    Namjoon groaned discomfitedly.
     "It really isn't a big deal!" you reassured him, "I'm a pretty sound sleeper."
     "And still I woke you up."
     "Don't worry about it..."
     "It's not just that, though," he insisted, hands in the pockets of his sweats and head cocked to one side as he continued to consider the small space across from his. "You don't even have a window. If you want privacy, you have to sit behind that curtain in the tiny bed -- I hate it. I've hated it since they were first preparing for you to arrive. I'll make some calls tomorrow. You need your own room," he stated decidedly, returning to the chair across from you.
He fished his phone out of his pocket and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he fired off a message.
     Namjoon did have a point, it was a pretty meager space you currently occupied. But they must have had a reason, you thought, for wanting you to share a room with him. And you didn't want to cause any kind of fuss in the name of personal convenience that might detract from his treatment or recovery. 
     "Namjoon, it's fine..."
     He looked up at you, his brown eyes assured and determined.
     "Just let me handle it. I've got you."
     A sudden warmth spread through your chest like the rising sun on the frost of your anxieties, his gaze melting away the familiar worry of burdensomeness. You looked away shyly.
     "Good man," Matt said to him with a nod, and they shared a look as your soulmate nodded in return that seemed to be one of mutual masculine respect. You wanted to roll your eyes a little bit. You also felt pretty damn grateful.
     Matt stood to leave, pressing a kiss on your temple and promised that he'd return in the morning. He paused to shake Namjoon's hand.
     "If there are any further developments, don't hesitate to call me," he said, to which the younger man nodded in agreement.
     "Or I can call you!" you rasped after him as he raised his hand in one last gesture of farewell while shutting the door.
     You huffed.
     "Smart guy," Namjoon remarked, sitting back down in his chair. "You know he's read Toegye exhaustively?"
     You raised a brow at him, your lips quirking with a wry grin.
     "Two peas in a pod. He's probably going to be coming around here nonstop until he leaves just so you two can gab in genius."
     Namjoon smiled and touched his fingers absently to his jaw, his eyes trained on the linoleum.
     "Are you bothered that I called him?" he asked abruptly, glancing up at you.
     "What? No, of course not," you reassured him with a shake of your head. "I just..." You rolled your eyes and smirked. "I'm not used to sitting around while boys decide what's best for me."
     "Aaahhh," Namjoon responded with a nod, interlacing his fingers, "Well, you've been looking out for me since you walked through that door back there, and honestly, I could get used to that..." he leaned forward a bit, "But only if I get to return the favor. You said we don't owe each other, but that doesn't mean you get to be the only one doing the giving."
     You stared at him. The only one to do the giving. The words jarred something loose inside you. You swallowed the strange feeling that threatened to well into your throat.
     Before you could respond, an aid entered with your meal. A tray loaded with dakjuk, rice, and several banchan was placed before you. It smelled fantastic, and you actually felt you could eat. You moved to take the tray to your side of the suite but Namjoon stopped you.
"Hey, wait. I'm hungry. I'll eat with you."
He crossed to the other side of the room to pick up the telephone.
"Go ahead," he said with nod of his head a little grin, "Don't wait on me."
     He didn't have to twist your arm. The chicken porridge was steaming and savory, warming you up within just a few bites. A similar tray soon arrived for Namjoon, and you found it did feel far nicer to eat with someone than alone.
     Between bites he asked you about Matt.
     "He's my dad's best friend. When he died - my dad - Matt and his wife Rebecca helped to take care of us for a while. They've been really good to my family."
     Namjoon's face sombered.
     "I'm sorry about your father."
     You smiled softly at him.
     "It was a long time ago, when I was ten. He was a firefighter."
     He nodded quietly, giving you the opening to continue. You decided to take it.
     "A fire broke out at a high-security prison. The situation got really bad with a lot of people still inside - prisoners. They told the team to stop attempting rescues, that it wasn't worth it, for people like that. But my dad kept going. Alone. He saved seventeen more lives before...well, he couldn't make it out."
     When you looked up at Namjoon again his eyes were locked on you, his chopsticks resting idly in his hand.
     "Wow," he murmured after a pause. "And you were ten years old? That must have been so hard."
     You dragged your spoon through your dakjuk.
     "It was. But managing things after he was gone...that was harder, I think."
     Namjoon's brow knit in question but he didn't press you further. For the second time that night, you were grateful. Death was easy to explain, other things were much more difficult.
     You finished the rest of your meal chatting about Matt, Neo-Confucianism, and unequivocal humanism between mouthfuls of rice and porridge.
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      The next day, you were moved into your new suite a few doors down. Namjoon had received no resistance from the hospital in procuring you the space, as apparently Hybe's representatives had been the ones to originate the request that you be at the idol's immediate disposal.
     Your room mirrored the setup of your soulmate's, being on the same floor but across the hall, and Kang Dae had dropped in with a catalog stating that you could select whatever you wished to make the space more comfortable. You had circled a few things and he had departed to procure them. Matt had brought the bulk of your luggage, which meant a good portion of books, your art supplies, and finally more clothes which you would blessedly now have no worries of mixing up with Namjoon's. You changed into jeans and a comfy Nirvana graphic tee.
     You were busy unpacking when a knock came at your door. You called for the person to come in while you continued to stack books onto a small set of shelves. The doctor had cautioned you and Namjoon against further skinship sessions until your blood work had come back, so you were anxious for the results, not wanting him to go through another bout of chemo without the aid of the bond. 
When you glanced up expectantly, however, you found your curiosity would have to wait - at least, concerning your charts - as in the entry stood none other than Kim Hyung-seo.
     She lingered in the entryway at the mouth of the space, her arms wrapped around her middle. She looked much more casual today in a pair of big baggy camouflage cargo pants, a tight black crop top, and chunky white sneakers. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and she had black mask pulled under her chin. She was bare-faced, save for two small red dots under her right eye.
     You stood from your crouched position, trying your best to keep the surprise from your face.
     "Hi," you greeted her with a small smile, which she returned remorsefully, still hugging herself as she glanced around the room. "Would you like to sit down?" you offered, motioning to the furniture beside you. 
     She nodded, crossing over to take a seat in the little arm chair. You moved to sit across from her. Your first instinct was to offer her something to drink, only to realize you were in a hospital room with no way to deliver, at which you both laughed awkwardly. After a moment of tense silence, she looked up at you, gnawing her bottom lip.
     “I owe you an apology," she sighed. 
You gave her an encouraging smile.
     "Fuck..." she dropped her head in her hands, and you waited for her to collect herself. Finally, she raises her eyes to yours, interlacing her fingers with their long white nails in her lap. 
     "What I did...what I said yesterday...I was cunt. I'm sorry." 
     You let out a little laugh at her choice of words.
     "Well, I do accept your apology...but, don't be too hard on yourself. It was a really bizarre and unprecedented situation for all of us. I'm glad we're moving forward, and in a better direction."
You smiled again at her reassuringly.
     She nodded, her lips pursed and quivering slightly. You could tell she was blinking back tears.
     "Me and Joon...we'd only been engaged for a few weeks before we found out...you know, that he had a match. That it could be his only option to live - bonding. With you. It's just all really fucking scary."
     You nodded sympathetically. She released another sigh as she continued.
     "He had to decide so fast, they pushed him to just make this huge life commitment as fast as they fucking could and now..." She raised her arms, looking around the room in resign, "Here we are. And we have to figure everything out, and I'm about to leave and..."
     "I'm sorry," you murmured sympathetically.
She looked down into her lap, worry still twisting her features.
You wondered why she was leaving, now of all times - when things were the way they were. But that wasn't for you to judge.
"You know," you offered hopefully, "At least he's on the mend. At least you know he'll have someone to look after him."
     She hummed. You wondered if it was an agreement as her eyes flitted over your face searchingly. Anxiety from the previous day's encounter began to seep into your chest as you considered if you had chosen your words poorly. You had said what would have comforted you in under the same circumstances. But maybe you were different - too different.
You softened your heart, determined to reserve judgement. Life had given Hyung-seo had her own shoes, and you would do everything you could to understand what it was like to walk in them.
     "Can I add you on KakaoTalk?" you asked, realizing you were still clutching a book, and setting it onto the low table to pull your phone from your pocket.
     She was chewing on her lip again when you looked up. She stared down at the hardback. 
     "You read a lot, huh?" she asked, though it didn't sound like a question.
     "I do," you answered slowly, wondering where her train of thought was headed.
"All that stuff you said yesterday, you seem, like really in tune with people. And smart. You guys are, like, the same."
She pressed the words out in a strained voice. She looked so small and so sad. Your heart sank for her.
"Namjoon actually said that very thing about you yesterday."
She glanced up at you in surprise and confusion. You smiled.
"He said that when you met he was struck with how much you shared in how you saw the world, and how you approached music."
She regarded you silently as you continued.
"And that's your life right, your great love? Music? What a wonderful thing, to base your life with a partner in a love you share."
She nodded slowly, her eyes watering.
"Thank you," she finally whispered, and you nodded in understanding.
You reached out to take her hand and she squeezed yours. After a few moments of silence, she rose and wiped her eyes.
     "I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to see Joon again before I go," she explained. 
     You nodded.
     "Thank you for coming to talk to me and for sharing about how this has been for you. I really appreciate it."    
     She smiled - perhaps genuinely for the first time since you met. It was a lovely smile.
     You sighed as she left. It wasn't much, but it was progress. Maybe she would let you in. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard after all.
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     When several hours had passed with no updates on your lab results, you decided to take a walk down the hall to see how your soulmate was faring. You knocked on his door, but received no answer. 
     "Namjoon!" you called softly with another rap of your knuckles, but were still met with silence.
     Just when you were about to turn and go, the door creaked inward on its hinges, slipping open to reveal your soulmate's tired face.
     "I just came to see how you were doing...are you okay?." 
     You followed him as he slumped back into the suite, but before he could even reach his bed he turned and pushed past you to hurry into the bathroom. It caught you a little off-guard and you stumbled, catching yourself on the opposing wall, but quickly realized the reason for his urgency when sounds of retching followed.
     The bathroom door was cracked open and you could see him hunched over the toilet, breathing heavily as his body wracked with each attempt to expel the contents of his stomach. You hesitated a moment, then pushed the door in slowly, coming to kneel beside him and gingerly place a hand on his back.
     He raised his head, eyes fluttering when you touched him. You gently pulled your palm up and down his spine, feeling the warm surge of the bond even through his shirt. He reached for a piece of toilet paper to wipe his mouth.
     "You don't have to do that..." he murmured, resting his forehead on his arm propped on the porcelain rim.
     "I know," you answered quietly, continuing to slowly rub his back. "Can I put my hand under your shirt?"
     "You're not supposed to be touching me until we know what's going on with you." 
     You slipped your other hand out to curl your fingers around his exposed bicep below the sleeve of his tee. He sighed, shoulders sagging as the comfort and warmth of the contact soothed his aching body.
     "Can I?" you softly persisted, and he nodded his head where it laid against his forearm.
     Slipping your hand beneath the baggy cotton you ran your fingers over his soft, taut skin, heart squeezing at the definition of his spine and the ghosts of his ribs. 
     "Did you do chemo without me?" you asked.
     “I've been doing it before you got here, you know,” he retorted weakly.
     "How are you supposed to gain weight if it makes you this sick? Please don't do it again without me."
     "You passed out, Y/n," he shifted his head to look at you.
     "We'll figure that out," you smiled, "But you need to be as agreeable to these treatments as possible, right?" 
     He nodded.
     "Hyung-seo paid me a visit this morning," you remarked after a moment of silence.
     "She told me."
     "Said she leaves for her tour tomorrow. When does she get back?"
     "February."
     "Of next year?" You paused to temper your shock, "That's a long time."
     "It's a world tour. That's how it goes."
     "Wow."
     You realized for the hundredth time in as many hours that there was so much about their lifestyle to which you were ignorant. You had so much to learn, but one thing you did know: he needed you right now, so you stayed by his side until the sickness had subsided.
     Nurse Cha arrived shortly after to conduct routine checks on Namjoon, and you sat by, thumbing through the latest issue of Batman and Robin which Matt had been kind enough to drop off with your things.
     "Your initial blood work came back with some concerns," she said, turning to you and picking up her tablet to access the results. "There are signs that your body's nutrients are being depleted. Since your fainting spells have been occuring during skinship, we ask that you refrain from touching until your CMP comes back."
     Namjoon glanced over at you, a chiding expression on his features. You flatly ignored him.
     "I need to be able to touch him, especially if he feels ill. He needs to keep down his food, right?"
     Nurse Cha hummed, pursing her lips.
     "Well, I'm going to run this by Dr. Na, but if absolutely necessary, keep it light and brief. And please be sure to document even the smallest instances of skinship so that we can track the effects."
     You agreed readily, and she left to continue her rounds. 
Glancing out the window, you noted that the evening was mild, and the gardens were aflutter with birds and awash in soft late-afternoon light. You thought about what the nurse had said before about the fresh air.
     "Hey," you remarked, still looking out the window, "We should take a walk - it looks so nice out. You up for it?" 
     "Great idea," he replied, joining you to look out across the greenery. "I'm definitely feeling up for it." He huffed out a little chuckle.
     "What?" you asked suspiciously. You were beginning to recognize his different laughs - this particular chuckle was always at your expense.
     "Gonna keep pushing it with the poor nurse, huh?"
     You scoffed.
     "Well, if I hadn't would you be feeling well enough to go out right now?"
     "No."
     When you glanced up you found that he was gazing raptly at you, his face filled with unchecked thanksgiving. Your witty response faltered on your tongue. 
     His touch, you were pretty damn sure that for the rest of his natural life you would never grow used to it...but his eyes? It was almost the same. Was this part of the bond? Or was it just...him? Did everyone feel this way when he held them in those eyes? When he looked at them, really looked...
You couldn't tear your eyes away. You couldn't find words.
     When Namjoon's phone suddenly buzzed you thanked almighty Samsung and sagged against the window pane. 
     "Damn," he muttered. 
     You looked at him questioningly.
     "I have a consultation with my radiation oncologist in ten minutes. Go ahead! I'll meet you down there right after."
     He pulled a sweatshirt over his head and changed his slippers out for his shoes.
     You returned to your room to grab outerwear as well. The evening was temperate enough to go without, but you were feeling chillier than usual. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket.
     Mom flashed across the screen.
     Your chest tightened and you silenced the ringer. You'd call her tomorrow, you told yourself. Besides, she had already spoken to Matt. 
     When you reached the garden, you decided there was someone you should call while you waited. Ambling down a gravel path, you held the phone up to your ear, stuffing your other hand into the pocket of your jean jacket.
     "Matt told mom that you passed out - are you okay?" Diana's voice on the other end registered genuine distress.
     You rolled your eyes and sighed. 
     "I'm fine. My body is just adjusting to the bond and probably jet lag and whatnot."
     "You better fucking be fine or I'm coming out there to make sure you are."
     You laughed. 
     "To South Korea? On a Wednesday?"
     "You know what I mean, god! You're so - hey! How did the fiancee thing go?"
     "I knew you'd want an update."
     "Spill."
     You sighed.
     "Uh-oh," she hummed, "That was your, things-are-an-effing-disaster sigh."
     "It was no- why do you keep trying to divine my air flow like they're casting-runes or something? Will you just let me tell you?"
     "You don't always say."
     You huff in exasperation.
     "Okay, well, I won't tell you what that sigh is," she mumbles in trepidation, "But I will tell you that I know enough to shut up and let you continue. Go on."
     "It didn't go swimmingly."
     "Fuck."
     "Yeah,” You lifted your fingers to absently stroke at the petal of a rose. “She seemed very frightened by the whole situation, which is completely understandable. But then...she also kind of came at me. She started asking pretty intimate stuff about the bond right off the bat. When I tried to redirect by suggesting we get to know each other better she started saying all this stuff she already knew about me. About Dad and Mom."
     "What?!" Diana gasped incredulously.
     "It was almost as if...I don't know, I could have been reading her incorrectly, but it was almost seemed as if she was trying to bring things up that might knock me off my footing. Make me...insecure." 
     You suddenly remembered your conversation with Namjoon the previous night. He hadn’t let on that he had already known your father passed when you were a child...but he had known. Passing out during skinship had gotten in the way of the conversation you had intended to broach with him about knowledge of the other. You had done research before meeting him, but only the basics. You had felt that as much should come from him as possible. Clearly you hadn’t been given that opportunity.
     "That bitch," Diana seethed, pulling your mind back into the moment.
     "Hey, hey, hey," you cautioned her, "She's in a extremely difficult situation. And that was just my biased impression of her intentions. Don't be too quick to judge her, Di."
     Diana hummed discontentedly.
     "Also, she came to apologize to me today before she leaves on tour. We made progress, I think."
     "Apologizing? Bare minimum," Diana said with an air of dismissal. "What did you say her name was?"
     "Kim Hyung-seo. Her stage name is Bibi."
     Diana was silent for a moment. 
     "Found her," she declared. 
     You smiled to yourself - of course she had found her, the woman was famous. It wasn't as if stalking measures were necessary (though you had no doubt of Diana's abilities should that have been the case).
Diana clicked her tongue in disappointment.
     "She's hot."
     "She is very pretty," you agreed.
     "Yeah, but you're hot too. And, y'kow, you're you. Bet you're smarter..."
     "Di," you said, stopping to pinch your brow, "We're not in some kind of competition. We're both just human beings navigating pretty uncharted waters, okay? We both have our strengths and weaknesses. She's going to be part of my life as Namjoon's wife, so not only is building a good relationship with her important to me, I have a responsibility to her as well. We all do. To each other."
     Your sister paused on the other end before relenting sullenly.
     "Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right - you do need to make nice with her...as long as they're married, that is..."
     "DIANA."
     "Okay! Geez!" Diana cleared her throat. "How is the soulmate doing?"
     "He's getting stronger every day," you answered, happily moving the topic away from Hyung-seo.
     "That's great!" she crooned. 
     "It is."
     "Are you smiling? You sound like you're smiling."
     "How are you doing, Di? Classes are starting soon."
     You smirked as your sister's attention surged in a new direction, and for the next half an hour she regaled you with tales of her new housemates, and the smarmy and unseemly Johnnie (who had come crawling back, as predicted, upon returning to the States). 
     Upon hanging up with Diana, you checked the time, and discovered that it had been nearly an hour since you left Namjoon. You were starting to feel weak, and a bit cold - hunger, you told yourself - so you decided to return indoors for dinner.
     You called Namjoon on the way up to the fifth floor to inform him if your change in plans. He apologized profusely, saying that the doctor had been detained, and asked you to join him for dinner.
Letting yourself into his suite, you shrugged your jacket off as you headed for your usual spot on the couch when, suddenly, you froze.
    A man was rising to stand from where he had been seated on the sofa. He was clad in a dark blue button-down with a golden emblem on the shoulder and black slacks. He wore a black cap which bore a similar insignia to the one on his shirt and fit snugly over his short dark hair. He wasn’t as tall as Namjoon, though his shoulders were nearly as wide. His features were soft but arresting, and his deep brown irises, you thought, seemed to hold a bit of everything a pair of eyes could. Your comic book was in his hand.
You crossed the room toward him.
     "Hi, I’m sorry, Namjoon will be here soon - oh, I'm his soulmate, Y/n," you stammered, before catching yourself.
     The young man's sharp eyes widened, his lips parting as you bowed.
     "Je ireum-eun Y/n imnida," you started over in Korean.
     He bowed in return, raising his dark brown eyes to you again as he responded in a soft deep voice.
     "Annyeonghaseyo, je ireum-eun Min Yoongi imnida."
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grimreapersnuisance · 1 year ago
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Voltron AU where Keith is a KPop star… 👀
Lyrics are to Butter by BTS
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kerolystar · 1 month ago
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Capítulo 6: As Ruínas do Que Parecia Perfeito.
O sétimo mês parecia que nada havia acontecido no anterior. Nina estava lá, sorridente como sempre, com aquele temperamento doce e leve que fazia qualquer pessoa se sentir em casa. Era como se toda a dor tivesse desaparecido. Ela parecia mais viva, mais radiante, e eu não podia evitar sentir um misto de alívio e dúvida. Tudo estava perfeito. Ou parecia estar.
Fomos a uma festa naquele final de semana, algo que Nina sugeriu e eu concordei, embora festas não fossem mais minha prioridade. A música alta, as luzes piscando e o cheiro de álcool me lembravam de uma época em que eu era outra pessoa. Mas, com ela ao meu lado, nada parecia errado. Pelo menos até o momento em que tudo desmoronou.
Enquanto Nina foi falar com as amigas, decidi pegar algo para beber. Estava caminhando pela lateral da pista de dança quando senti uma mão agarrar meu braço com firmeza. Antes que pudesse reagir, me virei e fui surpreendido por lábios que se colaram aos meus. A proximidade, o perfume familiar e o choque imediato me fizeram congelar por um segundo. Era ela. Uma ex-ficante de uma noite, do tempo em que eu era apenas... aquilo.
"Espera aí, o que você está fazendo?!" Afastei-a de imediato, ainda em choque.
"Adrian, só um beijo. Você nem sentiu falta, vai." Ela sorriu com o mesmo ar provocador que um dia já me cativou, mas agora só despertava repulsa.
Olhei em volta, temendo que alguém tivesse visto, e foi aí que meus olhos a encontraram. Nina. Ela estava ali, a alguns metros, imóvel no meio da multidão. Seus olhos estavam fixos em mim, grandes e brilhantes, mas não de raiva ou lágrimas. Não sei por quanto tempo ela estava ali, mas foi o suficiente.
"Nina... não é o que você está pensando!" Gaguejei, tentando me aproximar.
Mas ela não gritou. Não perguntou. Nem mesmo pareceu surpresa.
"Adrian, por favor." Sua voz saiu baixa, quase inaudível, mas o suficiente para me silenciar.
Ela não me deu tempo para explicar. Apenas sorriu. Não era o sorriso doce e genuíno que conhecia tão bem. Era pequeno, torto e carregado de uma dor silenciosa que me perfurou como uma lâmina.
"Não precisa dizer nada", ela murmurou, dando de ombros com uma leveza que parecia ensaiada, mas o amargo em seu tom era inconfundível.
Ela virou as costas, atravessando a multidão como se nada tivesse acontecido. Mas eu sabia que aquilo era pior do que se ela tivesse gritado. Muito pior.
"Adrian, calma!" A voz da garota ecoou novamente atrás de mim. "Foi só um beijo! Qual é o problema?"
Eu me virei, a raiva pulsando em cada fibra do meu corpo. "O problema? O problema é que você acabou de estragar tudo!" A afastei novamente, mais forte dessa vez, e fui atrás de Nina.
Mas ela já tinha ido.
Do lado de fora, procurei desesperadamente por qualquer sinal dela. As ruas estavam cheias de carros e pessoas, mas Nina não estava em lugar algum. Meu coração disparava, não só pela corrida, mas pela memória daquele sorriso.
Pela primeira vez em muito tempo, me vi diante de uma versão de mim mesmo que jurava ter deixado para trás. E, no fundo, a dúvida me corroía: será que Nina acreditava que, depois de tanto tempo juntos, eu ainda era aquele cafajeste? Ou será que ela sabia que o pior inimigo naquele momento não era o que aconteceu, mas o que aquilo a fazia lembrar sobre mim?
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meregis · 1 year ago
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Jungkook - IDOL ✨💜
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sunravine · 1 year ago
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Don't listen to the haters, it'll hurt your ears
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jacqthehermit · 3 months ago
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"I'm so fine wherever I go"
Belated happy birthday my love ❤
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little-devil-art · 2 years ago
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[Dynamite]🪩🎤💜
Different content than usual, I developed this idea in January, but only finished it today (after two months ah)….
Anyway! BTS, am I right..?
I have been enjoying their music for a while now and I do find Dynamite as one of my faves, as it brings me a lot of joy really.. The boys themselves are drawn in my style, inspired by their “simplified“ Tiny Tan designs <3
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koffeenoe · 2 years ago
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Jimin is so fabulous omg ✨
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suga-parade · 2 years ago
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Nine idols!
About eight months ago I asked on twitter for idol suggestions to make the six fanart challenge... I got a few more than that, and here they are!
Here's the proper entire template:
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violetsiren90 · 2 years ago
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All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader
💜 Chapter 2 💜
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Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)
Pairing: idol!Namjoon x f!Reader
Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured
Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?
Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; Talk and depictions of cancer, its treatment, and the symptoms of both; implication of some disregard for personal agency by entertainment and medical industries; MC is diagnosed with asthma and experiences symptoms; flashbacks of a distressing situation; soulmate first touch & subsequent skinship; partial disrobing for medical purposes; medical setting and minor treatments; some social awkwardness; talk of food, eating, and alcohol consumption in the context of a soulmate AU
Author's Note: Chapter 2 is here! I tried my best to write Namjoon's response under the circumstances, but honestly I don't know how well it was executed. Let me know what you think in the comments/asks! I'm super open to constructive criticism and feedback. Also, I did my best with the Korean phrases and medical jargon. If anyone has more extensive knowledge on those subjects and wants to fact-check, please let me know!
P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or ask!
P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜
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"At night I dream that you and I are two plants that grew together, roots entwined, and that you know the earth and the rain like my mouth, since we are made of earth and rain.”
~ Pablo Neruda
Chapter 2: Touching Me, Touching You
    When you touched down at Incheon International Airport, you and Matt were greeted by a rather unnecessarily large party of Hybe personnel in black plainclothes wearing masks who snatched up your baggage and ushered you into the first of a small fleet of black SUV's. The member of the legal advisory team who had visited you in the states, Choi Kang Dae, was riding shotgun and speaking into a cell phone that had not left his ear since departing the baggage claim. In the row behind you was another man you assumed to be a translator, given his fluency in English, but who was currently chopping it up with Matt in Korean, and beside him a large, serious, silent man whose eyes kept traveling to you every now and again. You assumed that meant that the rest of the ensemble filling the vehicles behind you were security, which somehow made you feel less rather than more at ease.
The further you advanced in traffic through the busy streets of Seoul, the more anxious you became. A thousand questions began to flood your brain as your heart began to hammer in your chest. If all these people had come to meet you, were you headed to the hospital now? Weren't you supposed stop at your accommodations first? If you didn't, would you even have a chance to shower a day's worth of airport off before meeting your soulmate? Were you about to bond right now? Would people be watching? Would it hurt? Why hadn't you ever thought of these things before? You felt a familiar tightness in your chest and pulled out your inhaler. An asthma attack right now? They always seemed to strike at the most inopportune times.
Matt was suddenly turning to you.
    "Hey, you okay?" he asked, looking at the inhaler you were shaking for a second puff.
You slowly exhaled and nodded.
    "I'm fine. But where are we going right now, can you ask them?"
The translator asked the Kang Dae something in Korean, and after he responded, the other man turned to you.
    "We're going to the hospital. Namjoon-ssi had a seizure last night due to a prolonged high-grade fever, so we are trying to act as quickly as possible to avoid further complications."
Matt turned to the translator.
    "This should have been the first thing we heard when we stepped off that plane. I'm not trying to play hardball here, but we're going to have to be communicated with about every step of this process so we can decide how we're going to respond. This was in the contract, communication and a chance to speak with me before she makes any step in this process..."
Matt slipped in and out of English as the attorney apologetically reassured him through the translator of their full intent to follow the contractual specifications. You felt sick, and your heart continued to hammer - though now for different reasons. You had been worried about a shower while he was fighting for his life. This was no time for nerves. You had to fight for his life too.
    When the vehicle pulled into the ambulance bay, you and Matt were handed surgical masks and ushered, with security and other Hybe personnel in tow, through the ICU and into a massive steel elevator. You watched the round button number "5" light up red as Kang Dae pushed it with a gloved hand. After the brief assent, the doors opened into a space that looked like it was straight out of a Star Trek episode - floor to ceiling white, blinding fluorescent lights, and hospital workers covered from head to toe in sterile garments ebbing and flowing in urgent silence to and fro to the rhythmic serenading hums and beeps of medical equipment. You blinked in the offending brightness.
Your party was immediately approached by a small woman with a tablet and stylus who addressed Kang Dae. You heard your name mentioned. You heard Matt's. After a brief exchange with the Hybe attorney, Matt relayed that you were going to meet with Namjoon's oncologist. Kang Dae turned to address the security staff, and his words were met with nods and murmurs of acknowledgment except by the tall, serious man from the SUV, who responded to the attorney in a low but firm tone, his eyes flashing over to you as he spoke. You looked over to Matt, your brow creased in question. He watched as Kang Dae concluded the exchange and lead your now small group of four to follow the petite woman down a long, wide hall. As you walked, Matt leaned down to whisper in your ear.
    "It appears the indignant gentleman is your personal bodyguard. Seems he's reluctant to stay behind with the rest of security."
You glanced in surprised curiosity over your shoulder and caught a glimpse of the guard seated beside the rest of the team, elbows propped on his knees and hands clasped under his chin, a pensive expression on his rugged features, before he disappeared from view as you rounded a bend.
    The hall connected to a labyrinth of others, snaking off left and right, and punctuated with massive, heavy doors. Your guide abruptly swung left to face one of the entrees, flashing a badge card across a sensor which beeped, allowing her to push it inward. It opened into a suite of rooms much homier than the atmosphere behind you, though every bit as sterile.
In the vestibule was a small acrylic table surrounded by matching chairs. As you passed through you noted to the right, a small kitchenette, and to the left a rather large bathroom. At the end of the suite, you shuffled into a large room, separated on the far left end by a curtain. The space in which you stood was fitted with grey leather furniture, a tall bamboo plant in the corner, and a low acrylic coffee-table. An older, distinguished looking man in a white jacket stood from where he had been seated in one of the arm chairs and bowed. Your group bowed in return, and the translator asked that you be seated.
Dr. Na, as the man in the coat was introduced, would run through some last matters with you before you were to meet your soulmate. He relayed through the translator that this hospital was state of the art, Korea's finest, and a frontrunner in successful experimental treatments for cancer and other genetic diseases. The room you were occupying, he said, was a suite meant for long-term inpatient care, and would be nearly identical to the space you would share with Namjoon for the remainder of his inpatient treatment. He explained that Namjoon's condition has been detected far later than was desirable, and that treatments had included invasive surgery and aggressive rounds of chemotherapy, which had slowed, but not stopped the spread of tumors throughout his body. He said that Namjoon had displayed extreme physical and emotional resilience, but that his will to fight the disease overtaking his body had begun to wane with his strength and increasingly burdensome symptoms from both the cancer and its treatment.
At this point, Dr. Na turned to face Matt full on, and earnestly imparted to him while gesticulating at you. Matt's brow furrowed, and he nodded as he listened to the oncologist before turning serious eyes toward you. Kang Dae began to say something, but the doctor held up his hand while also turning his eyes toward you with an expectant gaze. 
    "Y/n," Matt began, interlacing his fingers as he often did when trying to choose his words carefully, "Dr. Na says that there is not a lot of research around treating cancer, especially at such an advanced stage, with the soulmate bond. There are accounts of it having seemingly miraculous effects on injury and illness, but none that have been objectively measured. It has been scientifically proven to a degree that soulmates bring about peak physical conditions in one another through the bond...over time. The thing the good doctor here really wants you to understand is that there is no guarantee that there is enough time in our situation. He says that bonding with him is going to be a major risk. If the treatment isn't successful and Namjoon should pass, that would mean your ultimate death soon after."
Matt's face had lost most of its stoicism. He looked deeply worried. He looked like he wanted you to get on a plane with him back to the States. He looked like he knew what you were going to do instead. You see, you had already thought about it - the possibility of death. You nodded.
     "Tell him I understand, Matt," you said calmly, "Tell him I'd like to meet Namjoon-ssi."
Matt stared at you for a beat, as if debating with himself before turning back to relay your message to Dr. Na. The oncologist nodded, and then turned to you and asked another question in Korean. The translator explained that the doctor wanted to know if you understood the basic implications of the soul-bond. You sighed. You did.  You knew that once bonded you would be reliant on each other for nourishment and survival until the end of your natural lives, and that the bond once established was irreversible. You knew the bond was initiated and maintained through skin-to-skin contact. You knew that the bond changed your body chemistry to no longer need food or water, and that food would eventually be rejected by the body like poison. You knew these things because you had done extensive research, not because anyone in the company asking for you to give over your body and soul had tried to make you aware. They had been interested in matters of signatures and compensation. How considerate of someone to ask you now, you thought with some contempt. You wondered what Namjoon knew, what he had been told, what he had been asked. 
     "I would like to meet my soulmate now," you said suddenly, cutting through the exchange between Dr. Na and Kang Dae.
All eyes turned on you, leaving in half-finished sentences a wake of mild surprise. "I know what I'm getting into on my end of things. You had expressed before that time was of the essence and I would like to be brought to him now."
Matt relayed your response to the group, and the doctor nodded. Soon you were being handed a hospital gown, and a sports bra, underwear, and socks from your suitcase - that you realized with a bit of alarm and indignation, you had not given anyone permission to retrieve - and were instructed to shower and change into these items. 
     You slipped into the bathroom and sank down on the closed toilet, dropping your head onto the little bundle of clothes in your arms.  In your first few moments alone in over twenty-four hours, everything was beginning to hit like a volley of arrows. Agendas, agendas. Hybe wanted your soulmate. The hospital wanted to beat his cancer. You wanted to help him live. But what did he want? Had anyone asked? Would he be honest, if they did? Not for the first time, something squeezed in your chest at the thought of him. But this time, it was stronger. Your head shot up from your lap. You had somewhere to be.
    After a quick and thorough wash-up, you padded into the hall where the little group awaited you. You were self-conscious in your limited attire, and you stood awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the next as people murmured in Korean. A nurse, who had joined the small throng, approached you, slipping a hospital bracelet with your name and Hangul characters and little numbers around your wrist and handing you a pair of grey slippers. Matt turned to you.
    "This is it, kiddo. You're going to go with Dr. Na and have your vitals taken, have some blood drawn, and then you'll go meet him."
Matt sighed deeply, his eyes searching yours. He took a backward glance and stepped just a bit closer, placing a hand on your shoulder.
"You sure about this?"
You nodded.
    "Yes, Matt, I'm sure."
He pulled his mouth in into a tense line, his brows drawing together.
    "That face you're making, that defiance in your eyes," his hand fell from your shoulder, "You could be his twin. I know I can't change your mind now. Nothing could."
You gave a knowing smile. He wasn't wrong. 
    "I'm gonna be okay, Matt. I'll see you tomorrow. Call my mom and tell her things went fine. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Matt scratched the back of his head, regarding you thoughtfully for a moment before nodding. He bent to press a kiss to your forehead, and turned to make his polite goodbyes.
    The nurse ushered you down the hall and into a room that looked a little more like a typical hospital room with a gauze-covered table, a scale, and other vaguely familiar machines and equipment. After she had collected the desired data and taken a vial of your blood, she made a page in Korean, and then motioned for you to follow her. She took you down another series of passages and finally, when you were sure Theseus himself couldn't have found his way back, she stopped in front of a large steel door and scanned her badge.
Room number 594.
The door opened on its heavy hinges, swinging slowly inward. Your heart was hammering in your chest. You realized the moment you crossed the threshold  that you didn't have your things. You didn't have your phone, or your bag, or the book that was inside it, or what was between the pages of the book.
You thought about pear-shaped Italian cheese as you crossed through the kitchen area.
You thought about little Diana trying to stop your mother from crying as she lay on the floor of the kitchen, body shaking with sobs, as you moved into large open room at the end of the suite.
And then, there he was. It was all you could do not to gasp.
    You would never have recognized him for the man in the photo Diana had shoved into your face last week. Sitting propped up in a large hospital bed, he was covered up to the waist in blankets. His frame, though unmistakably large, was gaunt, and his white tee draped around him like something that used to fit - patches and wires visible across his chest through the cotton fabric. His long arms were thinner than they should have been, ashy, and littered with bruises. His head leaned back against the pillows, he wore a black beanie low on his brow, but not low enough to hide the naked skin where his eyebrows had been. His full lips were chapped and parted as he labored somewhat to breathe. The doctor was speaking to a tall man in a black tee and jeans beside the bed. Namjoon was watching them, until, suddenly, his gaze flicked to you. Your breath caught in your chest. His eyes were unchanged. Something flooded your veins.
    "I need to speak with Namjoon-ssi, please," you said abruptly, turning to the doctor and the man beside him.
They looked at you, quizzically. You cleared your throat to speak again, slower and more firmly.
"Could I be alone with him, for a moment? I need to speak with him before we begin."
The doctor turned to say something to the tall man, but a voice from the hospital bed addressed them in a soft, deep timbre. The tall man glanced at you and then at Namjoon and replied. They held a short exchange before both he and the doctor filed reluctantly out of the room, taking the nurse with them.
Namjoon sat further up in the bed, his face contorting in pain as you approached him. You stood a few feet from where he sat, your hands inexplicably itching to reach out for him. You clasped them behind your back.
    "Hello," he, rasped.
Even the hoarseness couldn't hide the warmth of his voice. You thought his eyes and his voice must be made of the very same stuff. You were suddenly a different kind of nervous. You didn't even register your own initiative to speak as the question came tumbling out.
    "Do you want to live?"
Your soulmate blinked in surprise.
    "What?"
You took a breath and repeated yourself, this time with intention.
    "Do you want to live?" You asked again. "I know there are plenty of people who want you too, but I want to know what you want."
He regarded you in intent silence for a long moment.
    "Yes," he said finally, his cadence thoughtful and deliberate, "Yes, I want to live. I wasn't sure I did, but I do. I do now."
You exhaled a little breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. 
    "Okay, good," you nodded, looking away from his intent gaze as you fought, again, the surging urge to reach for him.
His lips quirked into a little smirk at your reaction.
    "I was going to ask you a question too, but after introductions," those eyes caught yours again, teasingly, and the little smile deepened just a bit, pressing a dimple into his sunken cheek.
The misery he was living in and he was teasing you? You felt something flutter a little in your chest which you willed yourself to ignore.
    "I'm sorry," you bit back a smile, glancing away a bit bashfully, "I just needed to know that you had agency over what was happening here, that it was what you wanted. If no one else was going to give you that choice...well, I was."
He regarded you silently again before addressing you.
    "It's good to meet you, Y/n-ssi. I'm Kim Namjoon."
You couldn't suppress a smirk at his stubbornness, and at the fact that he already knew your name, like you knew his.
    "It's good to meet you, too, Namjoon-ssi," you replied softly.
He suddenly leaned back in the bed, wincing, his chest heaving a bit. You looked over at the heart monitor that beeped beside him to see that his pulse was rising.
    "Should I call in the doctor?" You asked in concern.
He shook his head weakly. 
    "Not yet," he pressed out, with effort. "I...need...to know..."
You stepped closer to hear him.
    "Know what?" He closed his eyes , bringing a hand over his chest as the beeping slowed.
    "You...could...die...trying to..." he broke into a bought of coughs that was obviously painful. Once he had caught his breath, he rasped, "Are you sure, Y/n-ssi?"
    "Yes," you answered without hesitation. "Yes, I'm sure. This is my choice. I'm sure."
He opened his eyes. You held each other in a silent gaze. He looked like he wanted to say something. He didn't. He merely nodded and asked,
    "You ready, then?"
You met his questioning gaze with a wry smile and what you hoped were steady eyes as you answered.
    "Ready as I'll ever be."
    After the staff had returned to the room, the tall man in plainclothes introduced himself as Sejin, Namjoon's manager. He gave you a deep bow, which you returned, thanking you in practiced English for agreeing to bond with the idol - something that made you uncomfortable all the way down to your bones, and which you tried to dismiss without being impolite. The doctor spoke to Namjoon at some length, gesticulating to you several times. Sejin nodded along as the nurse typed notes onto her tablet.
You felt a bit frustrated, being on the outside of what so immediately concerned you. You were on the verge of asking for Matt to be brought in when Namjoon turned to you. 
    "The doctor says that while he understands first touch is an intimate experience, that he and two nurses will need to be present to monitor my vitals. My heart is on the weaker side these days."
He looked almost contrite as he said it and your chest squeezed. You nodded understandingly. He might be your soulmate, but you knew this wasn't a meet-cute. This was clinical. What was about to happen between you was a treatment. The doctor continued, and a nurse came around the bed to where you stood and waited expectantly as Namjoon turned to you, this time with an unmistakably apologetic look on his drawn features.
    "Dr. Na says that if first contact goes smoothly, we'll need to begin treatments aggressively, which means as much skin-to-skin contact as possible. I guess they want us both in just undergarments."
Ah, hence the hospital gown.
You felt heat creep up your neck. Under any other circumstances you would have been upset at the lack of privacy of it all, but these weren't like any circumstances you had ever been prepared to anticipate. You were going to have to figure the boundaries out as you went.
The nurse beside you rolled up a chair for you to sit in beside the bed, facing Namjoon. She untied and tugged the top of your hospital gown down to place a heart monitor on your chest, your soulmate respectfully averting his gaze.
When all the necessary preparations had been made, you found yourself sitting in a swivel chair cranked up to reach the height of the hospital bed, socked feet not touching the ground. You were facing Namjoon, who kept sitting forward, much to the chagrin of the nurses who kept gently but impatiently guiding him back against the pillows. You felt a sick feeling creep into the pit of your stomach as you glanced at the second nurse wheel in a defibrillator. How bad could this possibly be? Would it hurt? You steeled yourself as Namjoon sat forward again, turning up the palm of his large right hand which rested on the covers beside you.
    "It's time," he murmured softly, eyes on you as you gave one more glance to the doctor, who nodded, and giving in to an urge you had kept at bay since you entered the room you slipped your hand into his.
    A jolt shot through your body like an intense electric pulse. It hurt, like relentless aftershocks of overstimulation to sensitive flesh...and yet if felt good. So good. You had instinctively pulled to yank your hand away from the pure surprise of it, but you had tugged yourself back to no avail. You opened your eyes (you hadn't remembered closing them) to see Namjoon, head thrown back against the pillows, lips parted and eyes screwed shut as he clutched your hand in a vice grip. You glanced at the heart monitor spitting out beeps consistent with well over a hundred beats per minute. Was that yours or his? But you couldn't very well hold a coherent thought in your mind as warmth began to flood your body, followed by a tingling sensation that seemed to fizzle up from the base of your spine and trickle down your limbs.
Raising suddenly heavy eyes, you realized that you were swaying a bit on your feet. When did you stand? And you were much, much closer to Namjoon - your hand was curling around the base of his bicep, your elbow in his palm, as you pressed every possible square centimeter of your bare arm to his. His eyes were open now and he was looking at you as his chest rose and fell. You returned his gaze, unfocused, drunk on the sensations spreading through your being.
You blinked as you heard the doctor speak, but neither of you tore your eyes away, and as if in a trace, as the nurses helped you out of your clothes, and you crawled into the bed and slotted yourself against his side, stretching out your right arm to wrap around his torso. Every aspect of the feeling grew impossibly stronger, the pleasure factor so high that it felt somehow wrong to be experiencing this with a total stranger in a hospital room surrounded by others. You felt Namjoon let out a shuddering breath. His arms had snaked around you.
The last thing you remembered before falling into a delirium was the nurse pulling the covers over your bodies.
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    When you awoke, or rather, came to, you felt wrong. You rubbed hazy eyes to find yourself on a little cot. Before you could even wonder where you were or how you got there, the events of the previous day came flooding back.
Holy shit, you thought, you were in Korea. You had met your soulmate - and bonded with him. 
When had you even fallen asleep? The last thing you remembered was climbing into Namjoon's bed. Your heartbeat quickened. First touch had been...something else. An image of your soulmate gripping your hand with his head thrown back flashed through your mind.
No, don't, you thought, and pushed yourself to sit up.
In your attempt to move, you quickly realized that the wrongness you felt was that you were incredibly weak. It was a strange sort of weakness, however, one that left you feeling exhausted with every tiny move but wasn't accompanied by any sort of discomfort. In fact, you felt like you were floating on a cloud, if only one you couldn't find the strength to roll off. 
You were back in your hospital gown. There was a small table to your left with a lamp, a little vase of flowers, and white telephone. To your left was a machine much like the one you had seen beside Namjoon's bed beeping away, a little green line spiking and dropping across the monitor. A long curtain stretched across the space in front of you. You needed to pee.
As you moved to get off the cot, a sting of pain shot through your right arm at the inner joint and you realized that you had missed the IV drip beside the heart monitor. Clamping the IV stand you rose precariously on wobbly legs. You shuffled wearily forward, pulling the curtain back to reveal the other half of the room...and your soulmate.
He was sitting in bed, over the covers, in a heather grey tee and navy blue sweats, bare feet crossed at the ankles. He was still wearing the beanie, and his head was dipped down, immersed in the book he was holding open in his lap. The mid-morning sun spilled through the open window, bathing the suite in a pale yellow that blanketed generic seating furniture and a small bookshelf topped with a bonsai tree and painted clay figurine beside the bed, but left the abstract art piece on the opposite wall in relative shadow.
You were about to retreat back behind the curtain when a wheel of your portable IV stand betrayed you with a squeak. You pulled the curtain hurriedly shut, but too late.
    "Hello?" You heard him call softly.
His voice sounded better, you thought. Not nearly as raspy. You must look like shit, you also thought. Oh well, you needed to get past him to look decent anyway. And to pee. And he was going to see you probably every day for the rest of your life, so, bashfulness regarding your morning mug was definitely a waste of emotional energy. You heaved a sigh, and slowly pulled back the curtain, peeking through as you advanced a step.
    "I didn't want to disturb you," you fibbed, clutching the IV stand.
    "You're not disturbing me," he responded, shutting his book.
He was looking at you with a soft expression, reserved, but still warm. He looked a lot better than yesterday, too; it was unmistakable. His skin had lost a great deal of its previously ashy quality and the bruises on his arms had nearly vanished. His lips were no longer chapped, and, you noted, were full and naturally deep in color. His face looked less wane, though still thin, his shirt still hanging loosely over his chest and broad, sloping shoulders.
    "You look a little better," you urged, hoping to justify your prolonged stare.
He smiled. You were quickly reminded like a sock to the gut how pretty his smile was. 
    "I feel better," he concurred, "Thanks to you."
You looked down at your feet awkwardly. You had never been good at receiving praise or gratitude.
    "Oh...I'm glad," you mumbled. 
    "How do you feel?" he asked.
You raised your gaze back up to meet his, a wry smile tugging at your lips. 
    "Probably about as good as I look," you rejoined.
He pulled his smile into a tight line, eyes creasing. You thought maybe that was what he looked like when he was trying not to laugh. Suddenly you felt your bladder demand priority of attention.
    "Well, I'm gonna...get ready. For the day," you motioned, quickly realizing you had nothing to change into, and slipped back into the little room behind the curtain.
Scanning the space, you noted your suitcase and bag against the wall. You filled your bag with the essentials and a change before popping back out into the other half of the room on your way to the bathroom. You noticed out of the corner of your eye that Namjoon glanced at you before looking down at his book again, and you ignored the tight feeling in your chest one more time.
    Your mom had always said that a hot shower could make a person reborn, and by golly you figured she was right. You felt life seeping back into your limbs slowly but surely as the warm water poured over your body. As always, hot water and steam against white tile oiled cogs of your mind.
Clearly, the bond had served Namjoon well. You were anxious to know what a medical assessment would report. Your own exhaustion confused you, however. Wasn't the bond supposed to nourish you, rejuvenate you? When would you stop needing food? How often would you need to practice skinship now that you were bonded? And what would that look like? A thousand questions filled your mind as you massaged your scalp. You made a mental note to write a list of questions for the doctor.
    Once you had finished your morning routine, you felt infinitely more prepared to face the day. You changed into a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. As you shuffled back toward your room, you noticed Namjoon bent over the bonsai, tiny scissors in hand. A nurse was typing on a tablet on the other side of the bed.
    "Um, Namjoon," you asked, as you paused.
He startled a bit as he looked up at you, dropping the little scissors and cursing under his breath. The nurse peeked over and when she had seemingly assessed that no damage had been done, she smirked.
    "At least no bonsai limbs were lost this time," she murmured.
Namjoon slipped the scissors into a little leather pouch.
    "Hilarious," he deadpanned, then turned his attention back to you, "Sorry, did you ask me something?"
    "Actually," you blinked in surprise, "I was going to ask you to ask the nurse, but I guess I can ask her myself this time."
The nurse smiled at you. 
    "Ganhosanim, this is Y/n-ssi," Namjoon said, addressing the woman. She gave you a bow which you returned.
    "Annyeonghaseyo," she greeted you, "I'm Nurse Cha and I'll be your attending on most days. Please feel free to speak to me in English," she smiled.
You felt a weight lift off your shoulders. While you had been studying Korean furiously ever since your decision had been made, having medical personnel you could communicate with at this stage without having to rely on Namjoon to translate for you was a welcome relief. 
    "If you have a minute, I have some questions? Or, I will, once I write them down. Could I just put my stuff away and come right back?" You asked eagerly. She nodded, still typing away on the tablet. You dropped your bag beside your suitcase, which you tossed on the bed and unzipped to extract a pen and a notebook with three little bees embossed into the cover. You donned your slippers and crossed back over to Namjoon's side. He was sitting on the bed again, and nurse Yun was examining one of his arms. You plopped down in an armchair beside the bookshelf. 
    "Nice bonsai," you remarked, trailing your eyes over the intricate geometric patterns of its shallow stone pot.
    "Nice journal," he replied. "Moleskin?"
You nodded, holding it up to show him the front.
    "It has bees," you said with solemnity, as if the whimsy of the endearing was something to be taken quite seriously, and Namjoon hummed in grave assent. Nurse Cha glanced between you, a smirk at the corner of her mouth.
    "You said you had some questions, Y/n-ssi?" She offered.
    "Yes," you began, scribbling a few down in the pages in your lap before beginning. "Firstly wha- Oh! What happened to me yesterday? Did I pass out?" You interrupted yourself to ask.
    "Yes," she replied. "While the bonding was successful, and the skinship was highly rejuvenating for Namjoon, it appears that you were giving more than you were getting from a physiological standpoint, and while the effect was still probably similar to you on a cellular level, you were disproportionate in your transfer of energy. We've put you on an IV drip for now to ensure you're getting the replenishment your body needs regardless of food intake."
You jotted down a few lines of notes.
    "Okay, makes sense. Now, moving on to the food thing - we're still eating, right?"
Nurse Cha began typing on her tablet as she responded.
    "Yes. However, there is great boidiversity as to when and what people start rejecting as far as food goes. The average point of solid food rejection begins around two weeks after bonding. Generally, bonded individuals are still able to consume water and distilled alcohols, though they become unable to experience taste."
    "Does alcohol have the same...effect?" Namjoon spoke up from the bed.
    "An intensified one, actually," she responded, "Being a bonded mate means rediscovering your tolerance, and caution is of course advised. We've actually taken blood panels to alert us of any food sensitivities you may have. These should be immediately eliminated from your diet, as the rejection symptoms can be more severe in cases of late-stage ingestion with these items. The doctor will be in later to review those results with you."
    "Okay. And how often will we need to practice skinship, and are we going to need to initiate it ourselves or are we going to be on a schedule?"
    "I was wondering about that too," Namjoon said, adjusting his beanie.
    "The doctor will go over that with you as soon as he arrives in a little while as well. I know I'm scheduled to update your charts every six hours, so I'm sure there will be some guidance involved at first."
You quickly glanced up at Namjoon and then down at your lap. A warmth spread through your chest as you tried to keep your eyes on your notes and off of his bare arms. You were having those stupid urges to latch onto him again. Your hand twitched around your pen. You wondered what his thoughts were on your next session.
Just then, Dr. Na entered the room. He greeted both of you warmly and Nurse Cha took over relaying the consultation in English.
The oncologist was very optimistic about the effect of the soulmate bond on Namjoon, saying that his vitals had stabilized, his pain levels were lower than they'd been in weeks and the inflammation in his body had decreased significantly. He stressed that, while these were good signs, they were not a guarantee that the skinship was treating the cancer, and that they would have to take scans after a time to see if the tumors had were in fact shrinking.
He reviewed your blood panel results, letting you know that from that point forward you were to avoid consuming nightshades while communicating to Namjoon that he hadn't tested positive for any food sensitivities. He showed you a chart dictating when and how long you should practice skinship each day, beginning with a session immediately following the consultation. He cautioned you to alert medical staff if during a session you began to feel overly-drain, as they did not want you coming to the point of fainting again. You were removed from your IV drip.
    After the doctor had taken his leave, Nurse Cha fixed you with additional monitors, instructed you both to strip down to your maximum level of comfortability for the session, and departed. Once you were down to bra and panties, you climbed up into the huge hospital bed to join Namjoon, who once again kept his gaze trained anywhere but your side of the bed as you slipped under the covers and pressed yourself into his side.
Suddenly it was as if you had slipped into a warm bath under the influence of champagne. You closed your eyes and sank into the incredible sensation of his touch. His skin was like a warm cup of tea on the coldest day of the year. Like the first refreshing moments of a plunge into cool water at the height of summer. It was everything wonderful all at once, and you were so caught up in the sensation that you were barely cognizant of a tiny moan escaping your lips. 
Horrified, you bit down on your bottom lip and prayed to all that was sacred that Namjoon hadn't noticed. His immediate soft laughter, however, betrayed him, and you felt your face burning with embarrassment - beads of sweat pricking on your forehead as you covered your face with a different kind of groan.
    "Sorry," you murmured, ruefully.
    "Nah, I get it," Namjoon chuckled, his chest rumbling under your cheek. "If it feels as good for you as it does for me, then that's the correct response."
You allowed yourself to giggle a bit in turn.
    "I'm glad it's already helping," you remarked, and you felt him turn his head as if he was looking down at you.
He was silent for a beat before addressing you again.
    "Everything happened so quickly yesterday, I didn't even get a chance to thank you."
    "For what?" you countered, even though you knew exactly where he was headed with this.
    "For leaving your life behind and coming to Korea to give a stranger a chance at his. I'm going to spend the rest of my time making it up to you."
You felt your chest tighten. You pushed yourself up on one arm and turned to face him. The sheet fell down your upper body as you moved, but you were too intent on looking him in the face to notice. 
    "Namjoon, you're not a charity case. I didn't do this so that you would owe me something. This is a choice I made. All mine. So relieve yourself of any debt you may feel you owe me. We're bound by circumstance, but you're a free man in every sense of the word. I won't be a burden you bear any more than you wish to be one to me."
If you had been looking through his eyes, you would have seen yourself, pressed up out of the sheets with all the modesty of a sea nymph, your features glowing with the effects of the bond and fixed with a splendid kind of resoluteness and soft defiance. But, you saw it from your own, taking in the quiet shock on Namjoon's features that slowly morphed into something you couldn't place. Not yet. You didn't know him well enough.
After regarding you blinkingly, he looked at you with earnest eyes and gave a nod.
    "I accept those terms," he assented, and you believed him.
You thought maybe you'd believe anything he said, and, suddenly aware of the bareness of your torso under the intentness of his gaze, you slipped back down against his side.
    "I noticed you dropped the honorifics," he murmured teasingly.
You glanced back up at him.
    "Oh...sorry, I'm not used to it. I can -"
    "It's alright," he interjected, "I think we should be familiar. It will make things easier, right? Only if you want, though," he quickly added.
    "Yeah, no, I agree," you answered, shifting to press your leg more fully against his, and smiling to yourself as you keyed up your next remark.
"And I'm only your noona by a little bit anyway, so no need to call me that..."
This time a loud laugh burst out of him that shook your head enough for you to roll away and shoot him a look as he brushed a hand over his eyes in amusement. You smiled as you took in his dimpled cheeks and crescent eyes, and nearly didn't notice the voice speaking in bemused and startled Korean at the mouth of the hall. It was Namjoon who looked up first.
    "Yah!" He called in indignation and warning as you followed his gaze to catch but a glimpse of two young men, badly repressing snickers as they bolted back down the hall to the entry of the suite. 
Namjoon sighed sharply and turned to you with and apologetic expression.
    "I'm so sorry, those idiots are my friends. They're used to coming and going as they please to visit me - which, obviously now they can't just barge in unannounced."
He slipped out of bed, and you glanced away as he pulled on sweats and a shirt.
"I'll tell them to come back at a better time."
    "No, no!" you protested, "Just let me get decent. I want to meet them."
Namjoon paused as he kicked on his slippers. 
    "You sure?" he asked, eyebrows raised.
    "Yeah, yeah. I know we're still on skinship time, but, maybe we can just...hold hands? I mean, as long as you're okay with it..."
Namjoon's mouth slipped into a wry grin as he glanced down to the other end of the suite. 
    "Yeah, I'm fine with it. I apologize in advance if they can't be."
You gave a confused shrug as Namjoon picked up his phone and crossed into the vestibule area to give you the privacy to change. You pulled your leggings and sweatshirt back on and perched yourself cross-legged on the hospital bed, listening with amused anticipation as Namjoon spoke in exasperated Korean on the other side of the wall. You heard the door and three sets of footsteps accompanied by giggles and shushing, and then your soulmate emerged, all but herding the two young men preceding him into the room.
You immediately recognized the strapping, dark-haired one with the leporine smile as Jungkook, the young man who had accompanied Hybe's representation to visit you on Namjoon's behalf. The other young man you also recognized from internet images as one of the members, though you couldn't recall his name. He was shorter than Jungkook, though not by as much as he should have been due to the significance of his heeled boots. What he lacked in height he made up for in athletic build and voluptuously beautiful facial features. He shook his honey blonde hair out of his eyes, earrings tinkling as he regarded you with a coy smile.
    "Ijjogeun Y/n-ieo. Y/n, this is Jungkook and Jimin," Namjoon said, gesturing to each of the members as they made polite bows. 
    "Annyeonghaseyo," you said, returning their bows deeply, "Mannaseo bangapseumnida - dasi mannaseo bangabseubnida, Jungkook-ssi."
Jungkook flashed a blinding smile, round eyes wide and sparkling.
    "It's good to see you again too, noona," he answered in English. Namjoon's brow creased as he glanced between you and the young man you had been originally introduced to as the maknae of BTS.
    "You've met?" he asked. You nodded.
    "Jungkook was one of the people who came to meet me in the US when your company made the proposition," you explained. "He spoke very, very highly of you. His reference of your character was one of the major contributing factors toward my decision to come."
You smiled softly at Jungkook. Namjoon nodded, brow still drawn, as he pressed his tongue into the side of his cheek, jaw clenched and jutting forward, as he clapped the youngest on the shoulder. You thought Jungkook's eyes were just a bit glassy as the two shared a look that seemed to hold a lifetime of history. Jimin regarded the two with sentimentality before returning his gaze to you, again full of enigmatic mischief. The blonde took a step toward you, then turned on his booted heal, saying something to Namjoon in Korean.
You cocked your head to the side, glancing at your soulmate.
    "He said I look a lot better already," Namjoon said, eyeing Jimin warily as the younger man continued speaking, flashing you a devilish grin. Jungkook pulled his pierced lower lip between his teeth as he glanced between Namjoon and Jimin. You looked again to Namjoon expectantly.
    Awkwardness radiated from him as he deflected saying Jimin was just making fun, and he shot the younger man a look that unmistakably communicated his lack of amusement. Namjoon made another remark in Korean, and joined you back on the bed, hesitating only a moment before he took your hand in his.
You saw his shoulders sag in relief as he breathed a sigh through his nose at the contact. You had to restrain your own reaction, glancing down shyly as to avoid the two pairs of eyes trained in rapt curiosity on you from the end of the bed. Namjoon continued to speak with them, translating between you when your limited Korean wasn't sufficient, and gradually your awkwardness eased in the comfortable presence that emanated between your soulmate and his members.
As the visitors were about to take their leave, Jimin trained you with a newly serious look, leaning against the edge of the bed, and glancing at Namjoon as he spoke in what you could decipher was gratitude. 
    "He says they're all so grateful to you and glad to have you with us," Namjoon translated. You noticed his thumb slide over the back of your hand as he said it. So did Jimin, his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth as he eyed where your digits were intertwined.
    "Ah," you said awkwardly, "No thanks necessary, we're in this together, right?"
You pulled your hand from Namjoon's and in an attempt to raise your arm and give him a nonchalant pat on the back, you backhanded him directly in the face. 
Namjoon's hand flew up to his cheek and the two younger members erupted in laughter. You apologized profusely, trying to make sure Namjoon could hear you over Jungkook's wheezing and Jimin's shrieks of what you were pretty sure was "oh shit, there are two of them". When Namjoon had assured you that he was perfectly fine and the other two had composed themselves, you said your goodbyes. As soon as they were out the door, Namjoon was apologizing.
    "It's fine," you smirked with a shrug, "That's friends for you. I would have been concerned if they hadn't poked a little fun. I like them. I want to meet the rest of them."
Namjoon slipped back up onto the bed and intertwined his hand with yours as he glanced down, a pensive look on his face.
    "There's a lot of people you need to meet," he said quietly, thoughtfully.
You studied him as he continued to look down at your joined hands.
"In fact," he continued, "There was someone I was hoping you could meet tomorrow. Someone we should sit down...and talk with."
You nodded, regarding him intently.
"Her name is Kim Hyung-seo," he continued, "She's my fiancée."
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AN: Yeah, sorry to drop that at the end and peace out. 😁✌
Tag list: @butterymin @little-dark-empress @aretha170 @kamilamb @jlee97 @thephotoend @callmenoona25
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paperclip-skz · 3 months ago
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K-POP EVENT!!!
Looking to trade? Shop all kinds of K-pop merch? And so much more?
Artisan Market and Studio is hosting a K-POP event week at an upcoming event in The Barn at Brambleton, 24439 Evergreen Mills Road, Ashburn, VA 20148
For more information and to claim a ticket visit artisanmarketandstudio.com
Make sure to claim a ticket for the Holiday event to attend both the K-pop event & the Holiday one!
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SPREAD THE WORD!!
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montieez-art · 5 months ago
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Perfect Idol - Unfinished
I wanted to add more detail and a background to this when I started it, but it felt poetically perfectly-unperfect with the unfinished result.
(android phone photo)
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kerolystar · 1 month ago
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Capítulo 3: Primeiros Passos em Algo Real.
Eu não sei exatamente como aconteceu, mas um dia, ela disse sim. Depois de semanas insistindo, jogando charme e tentando impressioná-la de todas as maneiras possíveis, Nina aceitou sair comigo.
Nosso primeiro encontro foi em uma praça, com um saco de pipoca na mão e um pôr do sol que parecia ter saído de um filme clichê. Ela escolheu o lugar, claro. Quando ela chegou, usando uma blusa de lã azul e uma calça jeans, com o cabelo solto, tive que me segurar para não sorrir como um idiota.
"Você está atrasado", ela disse, erguendo uma sobrancelha.
"Dois minutos, Nina. E eu trouxe isso como desculpa." Estendi um copo de café para ela, o mesmo que eu sempre via em sua mesa durante as aulas.
Ela sorriu de leve – um sorriso verdadeiro, que me fez esquecer qualquer resposta sarcástica que eu pudesse ter preparado.
"É mais barato e menos barulhento que um restaurante lotado", disse, sem nenhuma cerimônia, enquanto me olhava de soslaio.
Eu ri, mais por nervosismo do que por achar graça. Não estava acostumado com alguém tão... direto.
Enquanto caminhávamos, conversamos sobre filmes. Eu falei das minhas produções favoritas, da minha paixão por criar histórias e como sonhava em dirigir algo que pudesse mudar vidas. Ela ouviu tudo com atenção, mas quando perguntei sobre os filmes dela, a resposta foi inesperada:
"Eu gosto de filmes que me fazem esquecer. Qualquer coisa que não me lembre do mundo real por umas duas horas já é suficiente."
Eu fiquei calado por um instante, tentando decifrá-la. Nina era um mistério, e eu me via cada vez mais atraído por isso.
Nos dias que se seguiram, começamos a nos encontrar com mais frequência. Sempre coisas simples: caminhadas, barracas de comida de rua, um cinema ao ar livre. Nunca jantares caros ou programas elaborados. E, para minha surpresa, eu adorava. Eu, que sempre fazia questão de impressionar com presentes e encontros planejados, estava ali, completamente confortável em apenas estar com ela.
Mas algo mais estava mudando em mim, e eu só percebi quando meu celular começou a vibrar no meio de um dos nossos encontros. Era uma mensagem de uma garota com quem eu tinha saído meses atrás, acompanhada de uma foto provocativa e um "Senti sua falta".
Eu apaguei a mensagem sem nem responder. Não era a primeira vez que fazia isso desde que comecei a sair com Nina, mas, naquele momento, algo mudou.
"Você não vai atender?" ela perguntou, apontando para o celular.
"Não é importante."
E era verdade. Pela primeira vez, aquelas mensagens não significavam nada.
Nina não era como as outras. Ela não me mandava áudios cheios de risadinhas ou mensagens pedindo atenção. Não me chamava para sair em horários estranhos nem mandava fotos provocativas. Na verdade, às vezes eu ficava horas esperando uma mensagem dela, só para perceber que ela estava ocupada demais vivendo a vida dela.
"Caramba", pensei uma noite, olhando para o celular em silêncio. "Agora eu sei como as garotas se sentem quando não respondo. Por que eu tô aqui esperando ela me ligar ou mandar uma mensagem, sendo que eu podia muito bem sair e pegar qualquer garota?"
Mas a verdade era que eu não queria.
Os primeiros encontros foram assim: simples, sem grandes expectativas, mas com uma conexão que crescia a cada conversa. Eu tentava quebrar o gelo com piadas e histórias sobre minhas aventuras na balada, enquanto ela ria baixinho, me olhando como se dissesse: "Você é tão previsível".
Eu estava acostumado a garotas que esperavam que eu tomasse a iniciativa em tudo, mas com Nina, era diferente. Ela me desafiava. Quando sugeri ver um filme de ação, ela insistiu em um documentário sobre jornalismo investigativo. Quando propus um jantar caro, ela escolheu uma barraca de tacos na esquina.
E foi assim que ela foi me conquistando, mesmo sem tentar.
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cyavillaarts · 1 year ago
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BTS Jimin (Mic Drop)
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drawartistic · 7 months ago
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💖✏️ BLACKPINK Lisa Drawing Picture view more……..
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I love to draw using a simple pencil. Whether it's sketching anime characters or creating fanart of my favorite Kpop idols like Lalisa Manoban from Blackpink, art is my passion. I often start with an outline, then add detail with watercolor or color pencil. Sometimes I'll go digital and create artwork for Instagram or Pinterest. My style is simple and aesthetic, perfect for creating wallpapers or coloring pages. If you're interested in learning, check out Farjana Drawing Academy for tutorials on how to draw portraits or step-by-step guides on creating beautiful artwork. Whether it's BTS fanart or a portrait of Lisa using oil pastels, I love experimenting with different mediums and techniques to bring my ideas to life.
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justbelievinginmagic · 18 days ago
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˗ˏˋ JUSTBELIEVINGINMAGIC ˎˊ˗
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hello~! im haley. she/her. 25. writes fanfiction. draws fanart. loves kpop. been on tumblr for wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too long. ✦ . ⁺ about me. my art. my ao3. ⁺ . ✦
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ATEEZ Like a Waltz Masterlist
OT8 x Fem!Reader | When 8 mysterious bachelors arrive to town and fall for your charms, will you be able to reach your goal to be prima ballerina or will you be dragged into a selfish waltz between love and obsession? Divergent-1900′s Mafia AU.
Mirage Masterlist
OT8 x Fem!Reader | When a surprise attack by the emotionless Android Guardians strikes the airship, the Illusion, a shattering choice sends you back to a time before you met the crew of Ateez, before piracy, and before the rise of the Guardian's Initiative. Will you follow the journey fate has laid before you knowing one day it will all come crumbling down or will you chart a new path to free yourself and your loves from your destiny? Will this world even let you or will it all just be a mirage? Divergent Ateez Lore / Technopunk Pirates / Time Travel AU.
Bewitched Masterlist
Seonghwa x Fem!Reader | all your life you had been asked: would you be a good witch or a bad witch? you wanted to be a good witch. and, finally, you would be! the day arrived; you were going to shiz university, the most-esteemed magical college in oz! you were prepared to work hard and make your dreams come true. but when you stumble upon cold bullies and an even colder sorcerer-in-training named park seonghwa who seemed to captivate you at every turn, will you be able to achieve your magical goals or will you fall under his spell? Wicked AU.
BTS The Dragon-Blood Chronicles Masterlist
OT7 X Fem!Reader | Dragon-blood folk have been gone for centuries. But, when Prince Namjoon gets sent away from the Palace at a young age for unruly behavior, things begin to change in the kingdom, and eight magical fates begin to unravel. Fantasy / Dragon AU.
I Need U Masterlist
Taehyung x Named OC / Seokjin x Named OC | This fic incorporates a female original character named Song Nari into the  Bangtan Universe (focusing primarily on HYYH storyline and Smeraldo lore while incorporating BU MVs) and explores her relationships with the boys throughout the years as things go wrong and right before their lives get forever changed by a wish made by not only Seokjin but Nari. Will her presence change what happens in the end? HYYH AU.
One Shots Inspired By Songs Masterlist
ENHYPEN im(mortal) Masterlist
OT7 x Fem!Reader | Seven souls search for answers about their forced immortality. In the process, they find more than they could imagine brewing - including a strange magnetic pull towards a human woman. Will they be able to find their humanity once more or will their world crumble beneath the weight of immortality? Sci Fi Vampire AU.
STRAY KIDS Ariadne’s Thread Masterlist
Hyunjin x Fem!Reader | When tempted by an intoxicating offer by Hyunjin the Goblin King, you fight against him to find your own sense of self once more while in the Labyrinth. Labyrinth / Faerie AU.
do you even lift, bro??
Changbin x Plus-Sized Fem!Reader | Changbin loves showing off for you. Idol AU.
TOMORROW X TOGETHER Starstruck Masterlist / TBA
Yeonjun x Fem!Reader, Kai x Fem!Reader | When the Ever-Lasting Star stops tick-tocking over a fantastical land, the very fabric of the world begins to change. A princess faces magical curses, mythical beasts, corrupt cults, and old friends in order to rewire the universe to find your true happily ever after. Fantasy AU.
(fyi: i cross-post all my works on ao3 under the same username!)
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divider credit @cafekitsune!!
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