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solecize · 7 months ago

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𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you welcome your boyfriend back to the country with a surprise party, just as the clock is ticking to say goodbye again. the big day is almost here and enlistment brings couples either one of two things: a ring or a breakup. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), infidelity, foul language, substance use, underage drinking, mentions of the covid-19 pandemic, sexually suggestive content 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. the series is told in non-chronological order. note that the main character is a member of a fictional idol group. more warnings may be added as the story is written. join the taglist here! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤm.list | next

you say, "i don't understand, " and i say, "i know you don't" we thought a cure would come through in time, now i fear it won't

TODAY’S TOP HEADLINE: bts’ rm, jimin, taehyung and jungkook set to enlist in the coming weeks! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤautumn 2023

the confrontation when it rained, it poured and you felt like you haven't seen even a glimpse of the sun in ages. there was a nagging feeling in your gut that it was too far gone, but like everything else for the past ten years, you swallowed it down and swept it under the rug. bad feelings didn’t exist in your relationship. that was the unspoken rule. yet, it was growing more and more difficult to mask the disappointment in your eyes or the frown fighting your lips. today marked the worst of your attempts.

seoul was unusually calm tonight and it scared you. when you moved to the city ages ago to begin your journey as an idol trainee, it was nothing but intimidating for your meek, pre-teen self. eventually, over time, your love for the city bloomed and it was truthfully because of jungkook. once young teenagers that arrived to seoul alone, you found solace in each other and embraced the change as one. he made you fall in love with seoul the same way he made you fall in love with him. dates, nightclubs, late night adventures, and years worth of moments within the city limits.

however, the streets were as hushed as you were, as you gripped your steering wheel like a robot.

the decision had been long made and you knew it was going to come around at some point, so there was no use in fighting it. after going without seeing your boyfriend for months, it should have been nothing but pure excitement.

“you’re awfully quiet,” murmured jungkook, glancing over at you from the passenger seat.

you were already annoyed to begin with, when he mentioned that he was going to have a driver pick him up from the airport, instead of asking for you. it felt like he didn’t even expect to have you waiting for him, considering the two of you had been apart due to his time working in the united states. you thought he’d be insisting for you to be the first person he saw once he came back. these frustrations were on top of several other things, which you’d been dreading to confront for even longer of a time.

and then, there was also the velvet box you spotted in the background of one of your facetime calls. you didn’t bring it up, but it was living in your mind everyday since. with jungkook’s big day fast approaching, there were a lot of conflicting ideas in your head.

you shrugged. “i’ve been filming long hours. not getting that much sleep.”

the look jungkook gave you read that he knew that you weren’t being a hundred percent honest, but he didn’t say anything. his eyes returned to being fixated on his phone.

after over ten years of knowing each other, you and jungkook could see through each other like glass. the only problem was that nobody ever wanted to speak up. you feared the glaring possibility of other buried conflict dating further back into the relationship because of this dynamic.

you didn’t think you deserved the blame for the tension in the air. there were several things in your mind, but jungkook wasn’t exactly a person who could easily mask their emotions. something was off with him, too, and you needed to figure out what it was. you could only hope for the best case scenario because otherwise, it was going to be your worst nightmare. there was no situation you could fathom where his behaviour was a result of an in between.

keeping your voice casual, you asked, “who are you texting?”

“my mom.”

you held back a sigh - jungkook was never particularly keen on involving you with his family. though you’d been together since he was sixteen, you always felt like he kept you an arm’s reach away from that part of your life and you never understood why.

“oh. tell her i say hi,” you said and he hummed in response.

whilst you weren’t in a talkative mood, it wasn’t like jungkook was doing anything to keep the conversation flowing either. you guys obviously texted and called during his time away, but the present atmosphere was awkward, like there was nothing to talk about after his grand return. you hugged and kissed at the airport, asked how his flight was, and that was that. driving him felt like a business endeavour, rather than welcoming your long-term partner back to the country.

after a few minutes, jungkook finally looked up from his phone. upon peering out the window, he grew confused and turned to you.

he questioned, “where are we going? the apartment is in the other direction.”

“just wait,” you assured, forcing a small smile. “take off your hoodie and put on what i have for you in the backseat.”

there was a shopping bag sitting behind jungkook’s seat and he reluctantly reached over, revealing a silk ysl shirt that you picked up that very afternoon. sighing, he did as you asked and made the change. you didn’t care to look over at your boyfriend’s shirtless body, too irritated at the curtness of the conversation.

you just wanted to get to the destination, the heavy silence becoming too much for you. there wasn’t even music on. you found yourself focusing too much on it, as you finally pulled up to the infamous hotel azure. somehow tucked away in the busy songpa district, it is unassuming to the civilian eye, but a well-known name amongst the circles of south korea’s entertainment industry. you didn’t “make it” in entertainment until you attended a party at hotel azure.

jungkook shifted in his seat. “what is this?” his tone was demanding, which immediately put you off. “the plan was to go home.”

to be fair, the last time that the two of you were at the azure hotel, jungkook wound up with a bloody nose after getting into it with an not-to-be-named yg idol at one of jackson wang’s wild parties. you weren’t even sure what happened yourself, bleary eyed for the majority of the night with several substances in your body. hotel azure was for idols at the top of the world with everything to lose, a favourite place of yours around 2018. it was now a place that you actively tried to avoid, but made an exception for the special occasion.

“calm down,” you shot back, not letting him get away with the voice he used. “just wait, i said.”

“i’m tired, y/n,” jungkook pleaded, as you stopped the car for the valet to take.

you ignored him - it wasn’t like it was up to you - and unbuckled your seatbelt, not waiting a second for jungkook.

not only did you pick up your boyfriend from the airport, you also spent hours meticulously preparing your appearance for the night. it didn’t seem like jungkook noticed, other than at the airport, when he questioned why you were wearing high heels.

you never wore heels unless you were working, but that changed when you met jungkook. he loved it when you wore heels and by the time your respective trainee debts were paid, made it a point. you bought platforms with the anticipation of how your boyfriend would go crazy over them. jungkook gifted you designer jimmy choos and pradas whenever you guys got into a fight. it made you feel your prettiest and he showered you with compliments every time.

now, he looked at you oddly for it, like you were doing too much.

jungkook eventually gave up and followed you in without a word, watching you take off your trench coat to reveal a stunning baby pink two-piece dress. the colour glittered under the low lighting of the hotel lobby and the corset accentuated your curves in all the right aways. except, he still did not say a word. this made you frown.

you handed off your coat to an employee and jungkook did the same. the lobby was empty, but you and jungkook knew exactly where to go, making a beeline for the elevator and pressing the button to move up to the penthouse suite.

“why didn’t you warn me about this?” he grumbled under his breath, adjusting his shirt in the mirror.

because that’s how surprise parties work, you wanted to reply. unfortunately, this was not a surprise party that you wanted to celebrate, so you didn’t even try to keep jungkook excited. you were both quiet, irritable, and only wanted to go home.

you said, “this is the part where i cover your eyes and lead you out.”

jungkook complied and you placed your perfectly manicured hands over his line of vision. other than sharing a hug and kiss earlier, this was the closest you’d physically gotten to your boyfriend in months. your hands were cold and you were close enough that he could hear your breathing - all too uncomfortable.

the elevator dinged and you nudged jungkook to step forward. the penthouse’s lights were off, but you could make out the shuffling of feet from behind the kitchen counter. it looked like everything was set up and pristine. then, in just a beat, the entire room lit up and you removed your hands from jungkook’s eyes.

“SURPRISE!”

the floor rumbled, voices roaring and bodies popping out from different places - behind pillars, couches and the bar. jungkook’s eyes brightened in a way that you had yet to see since reuniting with him earlier and it made your heart sink. you hadn’t realized how dull his demeanour was around you until something else actually made him smile.

his closest friends and family gathered in the penthouse and there was a large, golden banner that hung from the walls that said “welcome back jungkook!” the other wall was decorated with another banner, but this one said “good luck rm, v, jimin and jungkook!”

jungkook’s older brother was the first one that enveloped him into a bear hug, nearly squeezing the life out of him, then his mom. this was followed by the remainder of his band mates that managed to make the party. you awkwardly stood off to the side, a wide smile plastered on your face to mask your despondence. it seemed like jungkook’s exhaustion only existed when he was sitting in a car with you, as his laughter echoed throughout the room.

you caught jungkook’s eye and he already knew how you were feeling. while he exchanged words with other friends, it was namjoon who pulled you to the side.

“hey. you guys did a really great job with the party,” you started, looking around.

the penthouse of the azure hotel was a thing of beauty, with ceiling high windows that looked over the lights of seoul. everything shone and glimmered - the city skyline, the perfect marble floors, the expensive liquor bottles, and hell, even the perfect teeth of the myriad of a-list south korean celebrities gracing this exclusive party. there wasn’t a wrong way to ever throw a party there, but the group made an extra effort to make jungkook’s homecoming a special one.

jungkook was swarmed by several people, all asking about his time in america and how exciting it was. those were the words you used to describe it for him, too, when you sent him off months ago. you watched him take shots with mingyu and eunwoo.

namjoon shook his head, “no, no. this wouldn’t be possible without you,” he said and then glanced at jungkook, “and i’m sure he knows it, too.”

the boys, despite it also serving as a goodbye party before their enlistments, had been helping you plan the surprise for weeks leading up to jungkook’s arrival. it was one of the longest times jungkook had been apart from them and from the country in general, so they wanted to make it extra special. though you were the main mastermind behind the gathering, you initially didn’t want to do it at all.

“yeah, i hope so,” you replied, as you poured yourself a glass of white wine. “you guys all deserve it.”

over the years, jungkook’s band mates slowly became some of your friends, as well. it was somber goodbye for you in all kinds of ways. everyone was preparing to send them off with good luck and high spirits.

the boys were also preparing in their own way. you noticed that taehyung and jimin’s girlfriends were missing from the party, which only confirmed your speculations.

“it was just bound to happen,” said a voice.

it was taehyung who joined you and namjoon in a quiet circle at the corner of the living room. all of the boys looked a little bit sad, despite the celebratory atmosphere, but you read a different kind of story in taehyung’s eyes.

he smiled with a hint of gloom. “you’re looking around for her, right?”

as a fellow idol and also a girlfriend to a member of one of the biggest groups in the world, taehyung’s girlfriend grew to become one of your close confidants in the past few years. you guys were polite before, but this connection created a specific bond that couldn’t be understood by anyone else. however, you hadn’t heard from her in a few days and with her absence at taehyung’s goodbye party, you put two and two together.

to his side, namjoon clapped a hand on his friend’s back. “sorry, man.”

“i hope it was cordial,” you mustered up, ignoring the growing heaviness at the pit of your stomach. you could only hope you weren’t next.

taehyung replied. “she understood, but she wasn’t happy. regardless,” he sighed, “we’re still so young. her career is just blowing up even more, i feel like i’d only be holding her back.”

that was the way it went. when enlistment rolled around for most couples, it was either breaking up or a ring. you looked at your feet, not knowing what to say.

“jimin also told me that he broke things off with - “

a loud yelp squeaked from taehyung, who was abruptly jabbed in the side with namjoon’s elbow. the latter cleared his throat and you recognized that look. namjoon only made that face when he pulled the leader card and needed to put someone in their place. you figured that your worries were transparent to those around you.

namjoon cleared his throat. “not in a chatty mood?”

while you greeted people during the set-up of the party, you realized that you had yet to actually try socializing. things were awkward with jungkook’s parents, who you long suspected didn’t approve of you for various reasons. in general, most people were interested in chatting with the boys, which you didn’t mind. it was a gathering to send them off, after all.

“not really. you guys should go mingle with your friends,” you said, taking another sip of your wine. “it’s your party.”

“i hope i’m not overstepping, but did you and jungkook get in a fight?” taehyung asked.

you blinked slowly. “no. does it seem like it?”

“just seems like he’s nervous about something,” he commented and you noticed namjoon glare at him once more, as if to shut up.

for the first time that night, you felt a glimmer of mixed feelings that left you wondering. why would he be nervous? the big visual forming in your mind was a diamond ring. you and jungkook had contemplated marriage in the past year, but it was also the source of many arguments. you weren’t even sure you wanted to get married now, but your mother had been getting into your ear about you getting older. then, there were your respective companies who lost their shit at the idea. but, what really mattered, was jungkook’s opinion. he seemed to wave it off or change the topic at every opportunity, so your hopes for a ring lived in the back of your mind.

despite this, taehyung was right. jungkook looked nervous. he’d been irritated at being dragged to his surprise party - you wondered if it was delusional enough to believe that he had plans for the two of you, instead.

for the rest of the night, you continued to keep to yourself. you weren’t lying when you told jungkook you were tired, but you were determined to stay as long as you could and pretend that you and jungkook weren’t stealing mysterious glances at each other for the entire evening. it was obvious and only made you anxious.

a few hours later and the party only grew in numbers and in noise. you thought you lost him in the crowd, until you left to refill your nth drink and found him talking to his cousin.

the two were smiling and laughing, as his cousin appeared to be showing jungkook pictures on his phone. you assumed it was her newborn daughter - she gave birth just two months before her fiance was to be discharged and now that he was back, the wedding was just around the corner. you remembered jungkook telling you that she was proposed to on the day of his enlistment.

jungkook caught your eye and he immediately looked away - what the hell was that? he even turned slightly and you couldn’t read his lips. something was going on. you watched him shove his hands in his pockets and you swore you saw the shape of a small square inside.

eventually, you grew tired of the tension in the air and the music began to make your head pound. the longer you thought about your partner, the greater your anxieties grew. there was a chance you even just although it was late in the year and a fresh sheet of snow adorned the streets of seoul, you decided it was best to step out into the balcony to take some time to breathe.

nobody else was there, thankfully, and you let out a shiver when you stepped out. the peppermint air dispelled the haze in your head and in your heart, as taking a deep breath was the greatest relief you felt all night. though your muscles remained tense and you knew you wouldn’t last out in the cold, the balcony was a welcome change.

you weren’t sure how long you were outside when the door creaked open and just by the footsteps alone, you knew who it was.

“your guests will miss you,” you said, not even looking behind you.

at this point, you were hugging yourself to stop shivering. a rustle later and you felt a thick blanket drape over your shoulders, the wool of its make completely enveloping you with much needed warmth. you relaxed your shoulders, but couldn’t look jungkook in the eyes.

“something’s wrong. tell me.”

jungkook’s wine stained lips were pulled into a frown and although he hid it well when he was chatting away with his friends and family, you could see the exhaustion in his eyes. he sniffled a few times and you knew why, but you decided to bite your tongue. it was his party and he was an adult who could celebrate whatever way he wanted. it was also clear that neither of you had the energy to argue. instead, to his surprise, you raised an arm and gestured for him to come closer.

he sidestepped towards you and although you were shorter, let you wrap some of the blanket around him. his cold arm snaked around your waist and you tensed up again at his touch.

you continued to look out into the skyline. “i was going to say the same for you.”

“i’m really thankful for the party, love,” he ignored your question and pressed a kiss against your temple.

you mumbled under your breath, “it wasn’t easy." this was the first time all night that you were comfortable enough to physically touch jungkook and you suspected alcohol played a role in relieving the tension between you two, but it was always going to be easy to fall right back into routine.

and just like that, you felt a stinging sensation in your eyes. tears welled up and blurred your vision, which only made you turn your head away further from your boyfriend. he caught this immediately, his instincts nothing but natural when it came to you, and pulled you right into his chest.

the sound that came out of your mouth sounded nothing like you. the sob was desperate and helpless. it was akin to a toddler who couldn’t do anything by themselves. your voice cracked with each body-shaking sob and you didn’t have the guts to conceal it. your head was buried into jungkook’s new shirt, ruining it, but he only stroked your hair and wrapped the blanket tighter around the two of you.

“it’s okay. . .” jungkook cooed and for what seemed like the first time in a while, he sounded like himself.

it wasn’t like jungkook had undergone a drastic change from his time in america, but it was a gradual shift that you felt over a longer period of time. you attributed to the fact that you were no longer teenagers and things weren’t going to be the same as it did ten, even five years ago. that was what you told yourself, but you weren’t sure why you still held on to the old jungkook you knew.

in that moment, he sounded like the fifteen year old boy you met in a convenience store again. he sounded like the jungkook who wrote you disgusting love songs that were horrible, but you adored anyway. he sounded like the man who you talked about children and a big house and an annoying dog with.

as you found the bravery to finally pull away from jungkook’s comforting embrace, you looked up and saw that future in his eyes. his features softened, but he looked sad. your heart sank once again.

“you’re not just crying because i’m enlisting, are you?” he finally spoke, just above a whisper. his tone was certain, barely a question - after ten years together, jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

you froze. there was nothing else you could do but shut your eyes tight, pretending that this wasn’t really happening.

after a beat, you found your voice. “listen. . .we both know what happens after a man enlists. look at taehyung and jimin. look at your cousin.”

over the years, you and jungkook had gone through hell and back. you thought the worst day of your life was when dispatch leaked the news that you were dating five years ago, but you were able to recover. you thought it was the worst day of your life when your breakup was witnessed by the entire world, but you were able to recover. you even thought the worst day of your life was when word got out that you and jungkook got back together, effectively proving that you were weak and were the type of girl to crawl back to her ex. you recovered then, as well.

at the second part of your sentence, you felt jungkook physically tense up.

“is that why you’ve been acting weird lately?” he replied.

you don’t know where it came from, but something triggered a spark of anger in you. still, with a tear stained face and a runny nose, you opened your eyes and met his. this was not something you would be able to recover from.

you said, “it hasn’t just been lately, jungkook. you know exactly what’s on my mind, we’ve been talking - “

“ - and you know what my answer has been, baby. you know what kind of position i’m in,” he interrupted, breaking apart from your hold and the blanket he brought for you.

he wasn’t wrong. you did know what kind of position he was in. one of the biggest stars in the world and he had everything to lose, especially with the anxieties looming in the air for him and the rest of his group. every one of them were on their toes as soon as their enlistment dates were finalized, fearing their fade from the spotlight. you and the rest of the world knew that it was bullshit, that the bts was going to be forgotten just because they were going into the military for a few years.

marriage would surely ruin that further, right?

you said, “and you know what position i’m in.”

the careless joys of your early twenties had come and gone, which left you at the mercy of your mother’s constant talks about marriage. not just her, but other family members and even some of your friends. after all, you and jungkook had been together for ten years and you were pushing thirty sooner or later.

you also had your own fears in regard to your career. jungkook once laughed when you expressed your worries about the public no longer finding you young and pretty, but it was a real fear. most girl groups didn’t last more than a few years. many of your contemporaries had long said goodbye to their idol persona and went their separate ways from their band for a new life. you were considered a lucky one to remain with your group and maintain relevance, but for how long? was it time for you to finally settle down? you weren’t granted the same longevity as jungkook’s renowned group and you weren’t bitter about it, but nervous.

snowflakes began to fall once again and as one fell on your eyelashes, you noticed jungkook’s jaw clench.

“we’ve talked about this,” he said and you knew your wandering thoughts about a potential proposal were too good to be true.

you began, “look, i know that things are different for people like us. . “ but, things were changing. in recent years, you watched several of your peers get married and have children without losing their spot in the limelight.

“y/n. . .what made you think i changed my mind?” jungkook sighed, pacing back and forth to calm himself down.

“i just thought. . .”

“i’m sorry, but i wasn’t going to propose before my enlistment.” this time, jungkook’s frustrations melted away and there was genuine sadness in his voice.

he stepped closer to you and put his hands on your waist. you didn’t know what to say. you really had been pretending that his strange behaviour was because of a hope that seemed impossible now.

you took a deep breath. “you never said no. you made it seem like you were considering it.”

that was what silenced jungkook. it was true, there was never an outright refusal from jungkook. he would say things that implied he would talk to his company again or “with time” it would come. he gave you just enough reassurance, but never confirmation.

continuing, you said, “and you even indulged in keeping the fantasy alive with me. you’re sick for talking about honeymoon destinations with me and suggesting songs we could dance to.”

“hey. i’ve said time ands time again that there is no future where you aren’t by my side,” jungkook tried getting you to look at him, but every time he moved, you turned away.

there was no reason for you to make eye contact. you felt like a fool and if you met his eyes, you knew you would just burst into tears again. then, you thought about your conversation earlier with your friends and your vision became wet again.

“were you planning to break up with me before you enlisted?”

“what? no,” he responded, but you weren’t convinced.

you responded, “it was going to be inevitable, wasn’t it? like jimin and taehyung. you were going to be done with me.”

this time, jungkook forced you to look at him by the chin and your shoulders dropped. there was a crease in between his eyebrows that you don’t remember seeing even just a year ago. he looked more tired than he did as a rookie with barely survivable living standards.

“time really goes by, huh?” you murmured, fighting to keep your voice stable.

“we were never going to break up, love,” jungkook maintained.

still, his words didn’t penetrate further than surface level. you were left numb and the chill of winter in seoul had nothing to do with it. you wished that someone would just call jungkook away, but the party inside continued on without him.

“you bought a ring. i saw it when we video called.”

jungkook’s lips parted. you knew it. you knew you weren’t losing your mind. over the last ten years, you made some crazy accusations for all kinds of reasons. this time was different and you saw it on his face.

even after what seemed like forever, jungkook couldn’t find words to say. the longer he waited to speak, the faster your heart began to race.

he rubbed his temples and finally, he spoke. jungkook spoke and you immediately dropped the blanket he brought for you, dashing right back inside. you walked past every single attendee and ignored the few that cried out your name. you didn’t care what it looked like. you just knew you had to get out of there.

jungkook said there was a ring. he began to open his mouth and explain further, especially when he read the horrified expression on your face, but you wanted no part in it. there was no room for you to think about what that meant. you only saw red.

you weren’t sure why you wanted a proposal so badly. you knew you didn’t care that much about what your mother wanted and getting married was no solution to the prospects of a dying career. you were second guessing if your wishes for a wedding were even genuine.

on the other hand, maybe you intended for the wedding to be a solution to a dying relationship.

LATEST NEWS: hybe dismisses reports that bts’ jungkook and S.IREN’s nova are engaged, seeking legal action against gossip website that went viral for spreading the false rumour

@butnotmontana @rinkud @kookiescutie @nlr1606 @claireshelby @xtrataerrestrial @whoa-jo @tinyxrose @lavendersugarplum @bangtans-momma @firelcrds @sstrongstyle

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook angst #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #bts au #jungkook au

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euphorajeon · 6 months ago

Note

For 1k celebration! How about my time and jungkook with it??

Also congratulations my love 💖

opposite of sun

— request: jeongguk + my time - bts

— pairing: jk x f. reader

— genre: fluff, angst

— word count: 1.8k

— warnings/tags: idol!jk, college student!oc, mild angst (it's rly mild i promise!), they're best friends (i rly gotta stop writing this trope,,,)

— summary: jeongguk has a peculiar way of dealing with time difference.

— author's note: hello luv! thanks for requesting :) i really enjoyed writing this one eheh i hope you enjoy reading it too~

masterlist

There are a few things Jeon Jeongguk does not like about his life as a singer.

One, that constantly looms above his head, is how busy his schedule is. His days are filled to the brim with performing, song recording, photoshoots, video shoots, company meetings, and a long list of things in between. Some days, he could barely stay awake. Some days, he forgot the last time he ate. Some days don’t feel like days because all he saw was the inside of a building. Some days he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Two, the lack of privacy. There’s always someone watching his every move, waiting for him to fuck up. This extends to his closest people as well, his parents, his brother, even his non-famous best friend, you. Jeongguk could not forget the time he accidentally revealed he has a long-time girl best friend on a livestream. The media went crazy, trying to make headlines that would cause the most noise with wild rumors and assumptions. It took the PR team almost a month to divert the media attention to something else, along with a livestream ban for Jeongguk for three months.

Three, the one he’s facing right now, is time difference. As a singer, Jeongguk travels a lot to other time zones outside of KST, oftentimes resulting in jetlag. It’s not too troublesome when he visits another Asian country, the time difference only one to two hours, but when he’s on the other side of the world like now, it feels like his whole world is a jumbled mess.

Jeongguk plops down on the couch in his hotel room, glancing at the clock on his phone screen before tapping the FaceTime button. His reflection stares back at him as the call rings, the only thing visible on the screen just his eyes and sweaty strands of hair. He’s running his fingers through his damp hair when the call finally connects.

“Sorry, sorry! I— wow, eyes. And forehead,” you say in lieu of a proper greeting. Jeongguk grins, even though you can’t see it.

“Hi, Bun,” he greets. “Whatcha doin’?”

Jeongguk’s nickname for you is fairly new, only conjured up after his accidental slip on livestream, but it rolls off his tongue easily as if he’s been calling you Bun since you were both thirteen, when your friendship first started. It stems from his fear that anything has ears and if he says your name, someone somewhere could use it to dig up information about you. Although you’d rolled your eyes at him the first time, he knows you appreciate the thought.

Also, contrary to your friends’ beliefs, bun here stands for bread, not bunny. It’s known to the people who know you that you love bread. Steamed bun, milk bun, melon bbang, chocolate bread, cheese sticks, anything. But despite this knowledge and your protests, your friends still hoot in teasing whenever Jeongguk video calls you and drops the nickname. Jeongguk tries to prevent his grin from blossoming more when he sees you pretending to ignore your friends’ teasing.

“Studying,” you answer with a roll of your eyes, before a grin matching the one on Jeongguk’s face overtakes your feature. “What about you, superstar? Bet it’s more exciting than…” you glance at the paper in front of you, “the study of the economic impact of singer Jeon Jeongguk on South Korea.”

Jeongguk laughs. “You are not studying about my economic impact on SK.”

You hold up a finger, snatching the paper off the table to shove it into your phone camera. Then the pair of your eyes appear above said paper, hogging Jeongguk’s screen much like his eyes are hogging yours. “Read, Jeon Jeongguk. Read,” you say menacingly.

The words on your paper blur in his sight as he focuses more on the dark bags under your eyes. Even through a shitty video call connection, it’s apparent that you haven’t had a good rest for some time.

“Bun, have you been sleeping okay?”

Your eyebrows shoot up and you stare at him like he has three heads. “Jeon, I’m a college student. Asking me that at two AM is like asking you if you’re resting okay.”

Jeongguk sits up from his leaning back position on the couch, alarmed. “It’s two AM over there? It’s— fuck, it’s two AM. What are you doing still studying, Bun? You should be sleeping right now.”

All the exhaustion he felt from the flight, the jetlag, the rehearsal right after just evaporates the moment he realizes you’re still studying in the hour you should be sleeping. He should’ve been there with you, studying and reminding you to get some rest when the hours got late. He wishes he were there next to you.

“He’s a celebrity so he wouldn’t know what this feels like, huh?”

That was one of your friends, off camera. It sounds a bit distant but Jeongguk caught his words perfectly. Although he’s not wrong, Jeongguk could feel bitterness rising in his chest, one he fights so hard to suppress lest this causes a fight between you and him.

“Sorry, Jeon, he’s just stressed about the midterms. Don’t take it to heart, yeah?”

Jeongguk forces a smile on his lips, one tight pull of muscle that’s far from his grin earlier. “No, he’s right. I wouldn’t know how it feels like being stressed about the midterms just like he wouldn’t know how it feels rehearsing for a performance only an hour after you landed in New York. It’s okay.”

Ah, the bitterness still slips out. He’s tired. He feels guilt slowly replace the bitterness when he sees your downcast eyes. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Fuck.

“Sorry, Bun. Not your fault.” He sighs.

“It’s fine. We’re all tired.” You give him a small smile. “You said you were rehearsing for a performance? What performance?”

“Surprise performance, actually. It’ll be in Times Square later at six.”

There’s a gasp from your side of the call, before a short squeal is heard. You glance at someone behind your phone, letting out a chuckle. “You just spoiled a surprise performance to a very excited Yeseo,” you say.

“Since when do your friends listen to my songs?” Jeongguk laughs disbelievingly. He knows your college friends by name, and as far as he does, no one in your friend group actually listens to his songs enough to get excited at the prospect of a surprise performance.

“Last week. She heard ‘Yes or No’ when I was going through your album and hasn’t shut up about it since.”

“Thanks, Yeseo,” Jeongguk says. “It’s on the setlist for the performance later.”

A bang on the table. Then Yeseo’s excited shriek sounds, making your other friends on the table groan. Tell your boyfriend to shut up! one of them says. You stuck your tongue out at whoever it was before getting up from your seat, taking your phone with you. The image of you from a low angle as you walk away from your friends almost makes Jeongguk chuckle. He misses being able to see your double chin live in front of his eyes.

“Apologies for Yeseo. She’s very excited,” you say when you’ve settled down somewhere more quiet. “Are you excited for the performance later? Confident?”

“I will be if I know you’re watching,” Jeongguk hums. He fixes his best puppy dog look as he looks at you with so much hope in his eyes. “Will you? It’ll be on YouTube, six PM New York time.”

“That’s … hold on,” you tap around on your phone, the image of you on his screen shaking as you do. “That’s seven AM here in Korea. I’d probably be asleep, though. Midterm’s at nine.”

Jeongguk pouts. “Time difference sucks.”

“It does,” you agree. “But time zones aside, our times are already different. Like, if you have a recording for a music show in Korea at six AM KST, I still wouldn’t be able to attend. Because—“

“That’s why you never come? Because the recording is always early in the morning?”

“No, because they’re always on weekdays. And I have class. Or work. I’m not one of your rich fans, you know.”

“But you’re my best friend,” Jeongguk sulks, his frown deepening.

“Your college student best friend. Who has classes, essays to write, papers to do, midterms, finals…”

Jeongguk is quiet. There’s a pop up notification on his phone, telling him rest time is over in 15 minutes. His manager must’ve set this reminder when he was rehearsing, knowing very well about his tendency to lose track of time when given free time. Suddenly, all your differences flash before his eyes, and it feels like a gaping chasm in your friendship. Did you always feel this far away from him?

“I wish I were a college student too,” he whispers wistfully. “Then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”

“You are, though?” you sound genuinely confused. He doesn’t know if you missed the longing tint in his voice or just decided to ignore it. “You’re still enrolled in Global Cyber University, right?”

“Yeah, but,” Jeongguk sucks in a breath, searching for words that say what he wants to convey without actually saying them. He comes up empty, though, with every combination of words sounding as desperate as the last. Eventually, he settles on: “It’s different.”

“Ey, it’s different to accomodate people like you. No one in their right mind would go to a regular college if they have a schedule as crazy as yours.” You shake your head while waving your hand around, misinterpreting what he means by different. “You know, your fans must be so proud of you. Attending college while performing all around the world.”

“Are you proud of me?” The words tumble out before Jeongguk’s brain can catch up. In hindsight, it’s a normal thing to ask your best friend. But maybe, in the tiny corner of his mind, sits something he doesn’t want to admit yet: maybe he wants more.

“I am,” comes your instant reply. “I always am, Jeongguk.”

In the darkness of the night, under a single lightbulb lighting up your face, Jeongguk sees 15-year-old you, hugging his lanky figure and saying you were proud of him for finally debuting. Your dreams! They have come true! you’d said. Your eyes were shining, hopeful, excited for what’s to come for him. Although you’ve lost the child-like enthusiasm, Jeongguk knows you’ll always support him in anything he does.

Now he’s the one who’s lost. In your eyes, dim with exhaustion but full of warmth still. You have your cheek in your hand, lips moving. The words you’re saying sound like a buzz in his ears, only catching a stray one that’s unusual for your vocabulary: melancholic.

You’re still talking. He doesn’t care.

“Do you want to come to New York?”

Time difference sucks. Jeongguk’s solution?

Get rid of it.

a/n: thank you for reading! requests are still open but pls note it will take time for me to write them all hehe

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #fanfic #fic #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts au #jungkook drabble #jungkook oneshot #jungkook au #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook angst #idol!jungkook #1k celebration

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atinystraynstay · 9 months ago

Text

Soft Spot - Min Yoongi

Synopsis: Yoongi closed himself to most of the world. He didn't want to risk anyone hurting him or the people that mean the most to him. That was until you came along, somehow having the golden key to his heart.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader

Genre: Fluff, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers

Word Count: 1.7k

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Yoongi had spent over 30 minutes at the florist. His eyes bounced between all the different flowers, unsure what would be the best one to present to you. You would think that since Yoongi produces music, he felt a constant pressure for the next song to do better than the last.

However, his biggest worry was trying to impress you.

To him, not enough words could describe you. He has attempted to write at least one song to showcase his adoration for you. Yet, nothing seemed to fit. He could easily describe you as perfection. You were the one person who balanced him out amongst the chaos. The songs he produced with you in mind just didn't do you justice.

"Hyung, you ever going to make a selection?" Taehyung teased for him.

A sharp puff of air left Yoongi. He thought asking Taehyung to help him was the best idea, but he was starting to regret it.

"Would you shut up?" Yoongi murmured.

Taehyung went into a fit of chuckles before putting his hands up in defense. Seriously, he was here to provide insight?

Of course, Yoongi had an idea of the right ways to treat someone. He has experienced short flames of love in the past. But nothing like what you two had. It admittedly scared Yoongi at the intensity of emotions he felt within himself. He didn't mean to push people away, but he just often put all those emotions toward his career before another person. BTS counted on him to produce songs, to be a strong older brother. He didn't put another put through the wringer just because of his intense career.

But then he met you.

It started off innocent at first. You two just happened to bump into each other at the convenience store. He had been locked up at the studio, trying to lay tracks down for a new song when he needed a break. He figured going for a walk and grabbing an energy drink would help relax him.

Similarly, you had been crammed in your university's library working on a research paper. You were in the last semester of your graduate program, a step closer to becoming a Social Worker. Your fingers were starting to ache and you felt a bit restless after sitting at a work table. You decided you needed fresh air and an iced coffee before going to attempt to edit the paper.

You two had bumped into each other. Fatigue was written all over your faces that you hadn't noticed each other. That was until you bumped in as you tried to go to the register.

Seeing how tired you were, but also how beautiful you looked, Yoongi offered to pay for your beverage. When you tried to politely decline, he insisted after being in your way. Even though you were the one not watching where you were going.

As a way to show appreciation, you offered to give him your number. That way, you could repay him with a drink of his choosing whenever he wanted.

Since then, you two have been attached. Text messages were exchanged which then became FaceTime calls, particularly late at night due to both of your schedules. FaceTime calls quickly grew tiresome because all Yoongi wanted was to be in the same room as you, so you two began to hang out.

While Yoongi has not officially asked you to be his exclusively, he knew he wanted to be with you. You two practically saw each other twice a week. In his mind, you two were together.

That was until Taehyung pointed out that he hasn't actually asked you to be his, that you could be under the impression you two were just friends. Yoongi was doubtful, but his younger brother had a point. What if you saw him as only a friend? What if you were actually seeing someone else?

The thoughts made Yoongi both anxious but motivated to do something about it. Cue Taehyung coming in to help. Taehyung knew how to be romantic. He offered insight without Yoongi overthinking it.

"I'm telling you. She won't really care about the exact flowers. Just that you got them for her." "But they have to be perfect for her."

It brought Taehyung amusement to see how smitten his hyung was. Actually, all the boys were invested in Yoongi's love life. For the 10 years that they've known him, this was the first time that he was choosing something for himself rather than for other people. They all adored how dedicated Yoongi was to them and the group, but they always wanted Yoongi to be happy in all aspects of life. Including romantic.

They ever knew someone could be so happy over receiving a text message. At least, that was the case until they saw him grinning in his studio as he spun gently back and forth. He would re-read your texts to him, his smile getting wider and wider.

Or the way he thinks of you had random points. Having ramen for dinner? You like ramen. He would wonder if you had eaten, if you were happy, if you had a good day. See a squirrel while on a stroll? You were so energetic, so busy. What were you up to? Should he call you?

You were always on his mind. You meant everything to him and so much more.

It was why when he stood in front of your apartment door, his heart was racing. Yoongi was convinced that his heart was going to leap right out of his chest at this rate. He was practically shaking.

He sucked in a deep breath, looking down at the bouquet of flowers. Roses felt too intense for the occasion. He had selected an arrangement of blue hydrangea, blue delphinium, and white button poms. They reminded Yoongi of a clear, warm day and you were the sun. They were tied together by a pink bow, subtle but perfect.

Here goes nothing.

With his left hand firmly holding onto the stems of the bouquet, his right hand reached forward to ring the doorbell of your unit. It was a late Sunday morning. Sundays were your day to relax, to do self-care. He hoped he wasn't introducing, but he knew you'd be home.

From the other side of the black-painted door, he could hear shuffling. His heart fluttered knowing you were indeed inside. And about to open the door.

Did he get the right bouquet? Did you even like flowers? Should have have gotten a bigger bouquet for you?

He didn't have enough time to go through every scenario as soon the door opened. There you were. His angel.

Your hair was pulled back in a high ponytail with little strands framing your face. You wore a pair of black shorts but a large, oversized sweatshirt. All he wanted to do then was wrap you up in his arms and cuddle you. God, he was down bad.

You had a warm on your face, but quickly your eyes widened to see the flowers in his hand. You couldn't but hope they were for you, but you were convinced you and Yoongi were just friends. He was too kind to you to be anything more than that.

"Hi y/n," he said softly.

His voice sent your heart into palpitations. Nobody else sent you into such a spiral unlike he did so easily. It was just him greeting you but your knees were like jelly.

"Hi Yoongs," you spoke just as softly.

Yoongs. You were the only person who called him that. And he prayed you would be the only.

"What's going on? I figured you might be asleep still since you were at the studio until late." "Nothing can stop me from seeing you. I had a very important erran to run."

He was trying his best not to become a stuttering mess. But the way you were looking at him? The way you had a soft gaze yet lured him in, he was bound to crumble.

"These are for you, beautiful. Saw them and I thought of you."

Your cheeks turned bright pink. You were at a loss for words, and Yoongi noticed. He couldn't help but feel his ego rise. Maybe all the guys were right after all? Maybe you did like him?

He only got this confidence when he had a little bit of whiskey in his system. This was different, though. He didn't have liquid courage to fuel his delusions. He was stone-cold sober to see how you reacted to him. While non-verbal, your body language says everything.

"Oh Yoongi, they are so beautiful. You didn't have to do this." You took the flowers into your own hands to admire them up close. It warmed Yoongi's heart to see the way you took in their beauty, even though they weren't as beautiful as you are. He hoped you were seeing yourself just as positively, but he was ready to remind you constantly if need be.

"And I know what you're about to say." He began. "If you feel guilty for me spoiling you, why don't you accompany me for brunch? Going on an official date would make me happier than you buying me something."

Your head had never snapped up as quickly. Did you hear him correctly? Was he asking you out on a date? There was no room for interpretation when he said the words himself, but you weren't sure if you heard him correctly.

"Wait, you are actually asking me out?" "Well yeah, y/n. Isn't it obvious I like you?"

You opened your mouth to counter his statement, still in disbelief. However, you quickly closed it. Come on, y/n. Don't hesitate. You're so close to getting what you've always wanted.

"Can you give me 20 minutes to get ready and place these in water?" You asked. "Take all the time you need, angel. I'll be downstairs in my car, making sure it's all warm for you."

Feeling bold, Yoongi leaned into to press a lingering kiss to your cheek. "I've got nowhere else I'd want to be than spending time with you." Shivers ran down your spine from his tone and the way his words practically vibrated throughout your body.

He pulled back and winked before going towards the elevator. You gently closed the door before rushing to get ready.

Dreams can come true.

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oddinary4bts · 11 months ago

Text

Sinful Lust | ch 4 (myg & jjk)

☆summary: Jungkook has been living his life like he's riding a car, and he sees a wall looming closer. Will he hit, or will he find a way to avoid the collision?

☆pairing: bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi x female!reader x Jungkook

☆rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

☆genre: mostly smut, angst, snippets of life!au

☆warnings: cursing, jealousy, a flashback to how it all started five years ago, alcohol, mention of social anxiety, some sort of cheating?, explicit content: unprotected sex, jerking off, tied hands/bondage ish?, oral sex (male and female receiving, male on male, male on female), face riding, mouth fucking, choking, hair pulling, anal sex, cumshot, protected sex, sexting, nudes, a side of degradation?, facetime sex, ass slapping, guided sex, creampie

☆word count: 8.6k

☆a/n: Jungkook pov time babyyy! I hope you will love it <3 Thank you to @moonleeai as always for beta-ing this fic <3

☆a/n pt2: I do not own BTS or any of the members. I do not know what they are like irl (I do not claim to know their personalities, sexual orientations, beliefs, etc.). This fic is just a work of fiction, so please keep that in mind while reading

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

Each time he’s with you and Yoongi, Jungkook has a hard time figuring out why, or how. Especially right now, as he lies under you while you fuck yourself on him.

He watches your breasts as they bounce on your chest, watches the light sheen on your skin from your sweat. Yoongi is jerking off next to Jungkook, and he can’t help but glance at that too – Yoongi’s frowning, mouth slightly open as he grips his cock hard, pumping fast.

Your walls clench around Jungkook’s dick, and he returns his attention to you as he grunts and you let out a moan, bending forward to rest your hands on his shoulders for leverage. Jungkook lets you do it, though he tugs at his restraints, his cock twitching as his hands are held back in place.

It was Yoongi’s idea to tie him up. At the mischief lighting up your gaze, Jungkook hadn’t been able to say no, and frankly, he doesn’t think he regrets his decision.

It started with Yoongi sucking his dick while you sat on his face, and Jungkook can still taste your sleek juice in his mouth. It’s inebriating, and he thinks he’s drunk – or perhaps he’s just swimming in ecstasy. Even if Yoongi fucked his mouth after that.

Jungkook doesn’t particularly enjoy the bisexual action he’s been partaking in with you and Yoongi. He doesn’t dislike it, but he doesn’t feel any sexual attraction to it. He doesn’t think he would touch Yoongi if it wasn’t for your begging eyes. But whenever you look at him, whenever you tell him to do something, Jungkook folds, unable to tell you no.

He’s convinced Yoongi’s caught up to it, yet it seems you’re still lost in the fog of oblivion. Or maybe the three of you are just too good at pretending that it’s not there, that he didn’t say yes to this whole ordeal just because he gets to fuck you.

You clench again, this time moaning his name, and Jungkook has the visceral need to pull you flush to his chest so that he can thrust into you just like he likes. Tugging at the restraints proves to be useless, and he lets out a frustrated groan even as you pick up your pace, visibly chasing your orgasm.

It’s hot. It’s fucking hot and Jungkook feels his balls tighten, though he reins it in – he’s not going to come yet.

Your right hand shifts to his neck, and then you’re choking him, though your up-and-down motion grows sloppy, as if you have trouble focusing. And you barely choke him – you were just looking for leverage, he assumes.

“Bend down,” he tells you. “Fucking bend down, I’ll make you come.”

At his words Yoongi grabs a handful of Jungkook’s hair, forcing his head back. But you do bend down, and Jungkook braces his feet on the mattress so that he can fuck into you. He sets a relentless pace, meeting Yoongi’s gaze as you moan into his neck.

Perhaps that will be enough to make him come after all. Because he knows your Yoongi’s. Knows he’ll never have you any other way. But when you cling to him like you are doing right now, Jungkook likes to believe that you’re his, too.

He knows you’re coming the moment your orgasm crashes into you, and he doesn’t relent, doesn’t slow down. You moan against his skin, and Yoongi pulls on his hair harder, and Jungkook thinks maybe he’s coming too.

He keeps it in at the last second, his balls hurting from the denied orgasm. But he doesn’t want to come in such a subdued position – he’ll fucking ride you until you cry from the pleasure before.

He slows down, and you slump against him, your sweaty skin feeling like heaven against his. He’s still looking at Yoongi, who’s still pumping his cock hard, though he finally lets go of Jungkook’s hair. Nothing happens for a moment, until you raise your head from his neck, and then Jungkook meets your gaze.

Your cheeks are flushed red, your pupils are blown wide and you look so fucked out he feels his dick twitch inside of you. At that you moan again, and the pain in his balls increases even more because fucking hell does he need to come soon.

You smirk. You smirk and Jungkook thinks he’ll go insane. Especially as you push up from him, and then his dick leaves your velvety walls as you move to the side. You grab his cock, jerking him slowly, and Jungkook looks down at himself.

He’s covered in your juice. You came on him – a lot – and now you’re using it as lubrication to jerk him off and he doesn’t know right from left and up from down anymore. He’s insane – you’ve brought him right to the land of insanity.

“Gosh,” you let out, and he focuses on your face again, though you go in and out of focus as his orgasm is still so close. “I’ve soaked your dick so much you could fuck Yoons like that.”

The orgasm recedes, and Jungkook remembers that he’s not alone with you. That Yoongi is here, and he’s been deprived of attention for a while. Jungkook does feel bad about it a little, but then again, your hand on his dick just feels too good.

Yoongi murmurs your name, adding, “Don’t push his boundaries.”

You bite your lips, holding Jungkook’s gaze with a searing look in your eyes. “Would you fuck his ass if I ride your face again?”

Jungkook is at a loss for words. Especially as you bend down and spit on his dick, adding lubrication to his already soaked cock.

He thinks you’re jerking Yoongi off too now, because Yoongi groans and you let out a small laugh.

“I fucking love having the two of you for myself,” you say.

And that’s when Jungkook knows he’ll say yes. He doesn’t even care that it’s Yoongi’s ass as Yoongi sinks on him a minute later. All he’s looking at is you, and Yoongi’s ass is so fucking tight Jungkook thinks he might not get to fuck you into oblivion after all.

Yoongi moves up and down, slowly, and Jungkook grunts as you wrap your hand around his neck, choking him again. And then you force him to look at Yoongi, who’s got his head thrown back and dick so hard Jungkook feels like Yoongi’s going to come on him in just a few strokes.

You’re the one that reaches out to grab Yoongi’s dick, and you start jerking your boyfriend off as he keeps fucking himself on Jungkook. Jungkook watches, unable to do anything else, and when Yoongi’s ass clenches on his dick Jungkook closes his eyes.

He doesn’t want to see Yoongi coming on him. Doesn’t want to think about the fact he’s got a man on his dick right now, and not you. He just wants to feel how fucking tight it is, and how the drag on his dick is so sinful he knows he will come.

He’s turned on. He’s so fucking turned on by the tightness of Yoongi’s ass that he pulls at the restraints, once again trying to take control. But he can’t. He can’t, yet Yoongi bends forward somehow, and Jungkook’s mind fills with so much ecstasy from the new angle that all he can think to do is to start hammering his hips into his friend.

He comes first. He comes as he’s fucking Yoongi so hard everything hurts, and then Yoongi is coming on him, while you praise the two of them. Jungkook almost forgot that you were there, but then when he opens his eyes, it’s you that he sees first.

Perhaps because Yoongi’s hiding his face in his neck, just like you were doing earlier. And seeing you so close makes Jungkook’s orgasm linger, his dick twitching in Yoongi.

You bend down, catching Jungkook’s mouth in a languid kiss, and he kisses you back with everything in his chest, not caring that he emptied his balls in your boyfriend just a moment ago. Not when you kiss him like that – like every swipe of your tongue on his is a hidden message, of feelings shared even though they shouldn’t be.

Yoongi moves away from Jungkook as you’re still kissing him, and Jungkook tries to hold you, to cup your cheeks, but his hands still don’t move from where Yoongi tied them up. He pushes his tongue in your mouth still, lapping you up, and right when he thinks he’ll die from the lack of oxygen, you pull away from the kiss.

It takes Jungkook a moment to realize that Yoongi is gone. You’re looking towards the door, and Jungkook is still just watching you, and something hurts in his chest. He clears his throat to push it away, which gains him your attention again.

“Can you untie me?” he asks, voice still a little scrappy from when Yoongi fucked his mouth earlier.

You nod, and he notices you gulping. Something’s wrong. Something definitely is wrong between you and Yoongi, and Jungkook feels sick and twisted for it.

“Sorry,” you apologize as he mindlessly massages his shoulders, which started to ache a while ago from staying in that position for so long.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook tells you, and then he glances at his stomach. At his dick, that’s softening on his pelvis.

He’s covered in cum. Both his and Yoongi’s, and even yours from before all that. The sight nearly makes him gag, and he motions to the box of tissues on the night table.

“Can you pass me these?” he asks.

You don’t answer, though you grab a handful of tissues. Jungkook makes to grab them from your hands, but you start cleaning him up. He almost gulps from the attention, from the care in each of your motions, but he focuses on looking towards the door.

He doesn’t even know if he wants Yoongi to come back. Just that it feels weird that Yoongi left so quickly.

“Is something wrong?” you ask him, and he frowns, looking back towards you.

“No,” he answers. And though he doesn’t want to pry, he returns the question to you.

You finish cleaning his stomach before you move to his dick, and it feels a little strange to have a serious conversation with you while you’re cleaning up his dick, but then again, his entire relationship with you is weird.

“I don’t know,” you admit. “I guess.” You shrug. “He doesn’t tell me how he feels anymore.”

You look so sad saying the words that Jungkook feels his heart breaking in his chest. He’s been expecting this since the very first time he had sex with you though. The moment when it’d create a wedge between you and Yoongi, or between Yoongi and him.

“Oh,” he lets out. He chews on his lower lip, tongue darting out to play with his piercing. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug your shoulders again. “Don’t be.” You fall silent, eyes trailing to the doorway. You take a deep breath, and then softly let it out, shaking your head slightly. “Let me just go talk to him.”

Jungkook remains silent as you get up, and he looks away from you as you put on your clothes. And he feels far too awkward staying in your bed without you and Yoongi, so he gets up too, grabbing his clothes. He puts them on quickly, feeling the need to leave as fast as he can.

He’ll hate himself if your relationship goes to hell because of him.

So he puts everything on and then tiptoes to the front door. He curses himself when he has one of his shoes on – he left his motorcycle helmet in the kitchen. He glances in that direction – is that where you and Yoongi are?

He doesn’t want to interrupt a conversation between his friend and you.

But he needs the helmet. Can’t drive his motorcycle without it. So he kicks off his shoe, before walking towards the kitchen, slowly, even though it is entirely silent. He passes in front of the bathroom on the way, and there, he hears voices from behind the closed door. Muffled and low, clearly meant for you and Yoongi only, so Jungkook moves away, towards his helmet that he can now see on the counter.

He grabs it, spins on his heels to head back to the door, but he startles at the sight of Yoongi standing there.

“Oh, hyung,” is all Jungkook can think to say.

“You’re leaving?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook’s gaze widens, not really knowing how to reply. “Uh…” He gulps. “I figured it would be better to leave you and Y/n alone…”

Yoongi nods, sighing, and his eyes close momentarily before he looks at Jungkook again. “Sorry about this.”

“About what?” Jungkook asks, and he feels stupid for the question, but it just slipped out on its own.

“Making things awkward,” Yoongi explains. “I guess… I guess I should have asked that you guys don’t…” He stops speaking again, and this time he scratches the back of his head. Jungkook remains silent, giving Yoongi space to collect his thoughts. When he finally does, Yoongi says, “I don’t like you guys kissing like that? I told Y/n, and we’re going to add it to the ground rules.”

Jungkook’s heart squeezes in his chest, yet he still nods, not wanting to hurt his older friend. Especially considering that Jungkook is the guest in this whole scenario, and not Yoongi.

“That sounds good to me,” Jungkook answers, even if every word pains him. “I’ll stop.”

“And the pet names too,” Yoongi adds. “Don’t call her baby.”

There’s possessiveness in Yoongi’s tone, and Jungkook bristles a little, though he forces himself to nod. “Sure. I’m…” he trails off, eyes falling to a spot on the floor between him and Yoongi. “I’m sorry.”

And he does feel apologetic. Guilty, even. But you’ve become a drug that he can’t get enough of, and if he has to stop doing these things to be able to still get a taste of you, then he will.

“Don’t be,” Yoongi says, and he sounds reassuring. Far more than Jungkook expected him to be in the situation. “Don’t ever feel sorry. We invited you in our relationship. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me for not setting my boundaries more clearly.”

At that Jungkook feels jealousy taking shape inside of him. Because Yoongi will get to kiss you, to hold you, to be yours when Jungkook will always just be the guest. But the kisses and pet names allowed him to pretend that, for just a short period of time, you were his. And now he has to let them go, to let the feeling of your lips against his be just a memory. It hurts somehow, which he reckons is stupid.

He doesn’t usually get attached to the women he fucks. But you’re different.

You’ve been different since the day he met you.

“If you want to stay for the night, you can,” Yoongi says in the silence that was stretching to the point of awkwardness. “Guest room is yours, as always.”

And though he usually always stays the night, Jungkook feels the need to be alone. To ride his bike, to eat the road and feel the wind and forget about his thoughts for a moment. So he declines the offer, feeling strange as Yoongi walks him to the door.

He wishes you’d come say goodbye, but you’re in the shower from the sounds of it. He feels guilty for leaving like this, but then again, the night sky and the streetlights are awaiting outside, and it’s going to be much needed therapy.

“Thanks for the invitation,” Jungkook says once his shoes are on and he’s checked his pockets to make sure he has everything.

“Of course,” Yoongi answers, flashing a strained smile.

Jungkook wants to ask if his friend is okay. If he wants to stop this madness altogether, but he can’t bring himself to ask.

It’s like he’s watching a car crash into a wall, or the moments before the accident. He knows it’s about to happen, but there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

“We’ll let you know when we want to see you again,” Yoongi adds when Jungkook just stays standing there.

The dismissal is clear, and Jungkook nods his head once before wishing good night to his friend. Yoongi tells him to drive safe and text him when he’ll get home, which Jungkook knows he won’t do.

Perhaps because he knows he won’t go home for a while still.

And he doesn’t. He rides in the night, aimlessly, going out of the city with only the moon high above as company. His bike roars like a beast under him, eating mile after mile until trees replace concrete, until he has to stop at a small gas station that looks straight out of a horror movie to fill the tank. The weather outside has been growing warmer, but the night is cold, and the moon has been lowering on the horizon, replaced by a sea of distant stars, each of them sparkling with all the might of their own little world.

If only you knew what you mean to him. But you’re like the stars up above – out of reach, for the eternity of life. And though he’d wished to be an astronaut when he was a kid, Jungkook knows he’ll never get to sail in the sky above, to meet you in outer space meant to belong to you and him. Not to you and Yoongi.

The thought has him climbing on his bike again, and it roars back to life as he turns the key in the engine. A second later he’s back on the road, and he doesn’t even care about where he’s going. Doesn’t even care that he might get lost, because he’s felt lost for weeks anyway.

With the wind and the stars as his lone companions, Jungkook rides through the night, seeking salvation. Seeking to forget he ever said yes, to forget that the second he felt you on his dick, he knew no one else would ever compare to you.

But he’s always felt this way. The night sky is too pretty to dwell in memories though, and Jungkook stops where the road meets the sea, only to listen to the waves hitting the shore like they’re keen on forming their own melody. It’s different than the one of wind in his ear, yet it’s peaceful.

Everything but his heart seems peaceful in the night. So he breathes the saline air in, lets the mist from the waves hitting the rocks cool his features, and with eyes shut Jungkook takes everything in.

And when peace finally finds his heart too, somewhere between his inhales and exhales, Jungkook climbs back on the motorcycle and heads home.

*****

If there’s someone Jungkook knows he can talk to, it’s Namjoon. His older friend, brother, a calm presence in his life whom he’s sought the help of countless times in the past. Whenever his blood ran cold or hot from fights he won or lost in the past, whenever things don’t quite work out the way he’d hoped them too, Jungkook always knows Namjoon will be there for him.

So when Namjoon invites him over to his art gallery for a small gala he’s hosting for charity, Jungkook says yes. Because he knows he’ll likely be the only one of the friend group invited, mostly because he is some sort of a celebrity to begin with. And though he doesn’t mind people knowing him for his boxing career, he also doesn’t want to just be seen as this brute that only knows how to punch other people.

Namjoon knows it, and understands it all too well. Perhaps because he was a boxer once too before he turned into an artist.

So Jungkook dons a nice outfit, a black all-denim jean and jacket combo that he was given while shooting for Calvin Klein again a couple of weeks ago. He knows he’s going to stand out in the crowd of nicely-dressed art enthusiasts, but he doesn’t care.

Maybe if he stands out enough, he’s going to attract the attention of someone that can make him forget you riding his dick like you only have one night left on this Earth.

As soon as he gets to the gallery, Jungkook heads in, motorcycle helmet in hand. He aims for Namjoon’s office, which he knows the lock password of, and he leaves his helmet there before heading into the gallery proper.

He assesses the room for a moment, anxiety spiking in his blood at the sight of so many people crowded in a place that seems like it’s about to burst. He’s not surprised – Namjoon is a renowned painter now, and rich people flock to him like moths to a flame hoping that they would get the chance to buy one of his pieces.

Jungkook stays by the door, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he scans the gallery, trying to figure out if anyone would be worth his attention. He notices a woman that looks about his age, if not a little older. She’s wearing a red dress that enhances her curves beautifully, and her long hair cascades down her back as she turns towards him, a knowing smile on her lips. Jungkook returns the smile and he’s about to head her way when Namjoon comes into his vision.

“JK!” Namjoon lets out, happily clasping his shoulder. “I was wondering when you’d show up.”

Jungkook watches the girl as she winces, but then she turns away, walking towards where a group of rich sons are speaking. Maybe she’s here as the date of one of them. Jungkook reckons he doesn’t care because, frankly, even donned in that expensive dress she doesn’t look half as good as you look wearing just a t-shirt.

“Namjoon,” Jungkook returns, forcing his disappointment away, along with the feelings you always bring up in him. “This place is about to burst.”

“I didn’t expect so many people to show up for the charity,” Namjoon admits as he too scans the room. “But it’s all for the better!” He grabs two glasses of champagne from a server passing by, handing one to Jungkook. “We better drink before it starts because it promises to be long.”

Jungkook nods, clinking his glass with Namjoon’s before taking a long sip. The golden liquid bubbles in his mouth, and though Jungkook prefers whiskey, he does enjoy the taste as it slips in his throat.

“Got a lot of pieces on auction tonight?” he enquires as his friend knocks back the whole glass, never one to entertain a glass of champagne for more than a few seconds.

Namjoon wipes his mouth with the back of a hand, nodding curtly. “Five. The rest were provided by promising artists from the community.”

Before they can say more, a group of people approaches them, and Jungkook forces himself to participate in the conversation, offering them smiles and nods and a word here and there. It goes like this for a while, until someone ushers the room into silence so that the charity can properly start.

Jungkook slides to the back of the room, fishing a flask from an inner pocket of his jacket. He takes a swig of it, the strong taste of whiskey washing away the taste from the champagne he drank before. It’s a thankful respite, and Jungkook finds an empty wall to lean against as the auction starts.

It takes all of six minutes before the red-dress girl heads his way, meeting him away from the rest of the crowd.

“You’re not going to auction?” she asks as an introduction.

Jungkook shrugs, flashing her a smile. “Are you?”

She chuckles, and it lights up her eyes prettily. “I don’t think I’m here for this kind of prize.”

And just like that Jungkook knows exactly in what category she belongs. It might be harsh of him, but he recognizes her for what she is – someone that’s only trying to climb the social ladder, hoping that being a socialite might bring happiness into her life.

He might not have a lot of money to offer her, but for a night…

They’re fucking in the bathroom before he’s actually had the time to think this through. The condom on his dick feels like hell, keeping most of the sensations away, and she doesn’t feel quite as tight as you always do. As Yoongi’s ass did… Yet Jungkook only pushes her head down in the sink, watching how she’s grasping onto the edges of it, moaning unabashedly loud. The bathroom is far enough from the auction that Jungkook isn’t afraid to be heard, but he still puts his hand on her mouth, stifling her sounds.

And though he does find release, he realizes that it’s more of the haunting kind. As if his balls are still full, the ecstasy shying away from him. It only leaves him with a bitter aftertaste in mouth, and he declines the girl’s invitation to a hotel nearby.

As he watches her leave, he realizes that he doesn’t even know her name. And he doesn’t care for it. All that he cares for is to return to the auction, which thankfully is almost over. He listens to it in a daze, hoping that people can’t tell he just fucked someone, hoping that they can’t see the ghosts haunting him.

Namjoon sees them the moment the auction ends, and Jungkook tries to slip away in the night. Indeed, his older friend catches him in the office as he goes to retrieve his helmet, much like Yoongi had caught him that night when he’d established new boundaries.

“I hope you’re not leaving right away,” Namjoon says as he heads to a decanter on a small table by a bookshelf. “Just sold a piece for a billion won, and I need someone to celebrate with me.”

“This is hardly the first time you’ve sold a piece for that amount of money,” Jungkook reminds his friend, but he still puts the helmet down, heading for the leather seat on one side of the desk.

Namjoon pours whiskey in two crystal glasses, handing one to Jungkook before he sits on the other side. “I still never get used to it. Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Of course, man,” Jungkook answers.

He takes a sip of the whiskey, a much more expensive one than the one that’s hidden in the flask in the inner pocket of his jacket.

“Something’s been troubling you,” Namjoon comments after a small silence of both of them appreciating the whiskey. Jungkook remains silent, not knowing what to say. After a while, Namjoon says, “I invited Taehyung and Seokjin, but they were caught up at the restaurant.”

Seokjin’s restaurant. Where Taehyung and his jazz band play every now and then, offering live music to the patrons, and helping Taehyung get a good amount of listens on Spotify. Because Taehyung’s voice is smooth velvet, and Jungkook already can see his friend climbing the ladder to success.

“What about Hobi?” he can’t help but ask.

“His girlfriend was super sick, and he asked if I minded him staying with her.”

Jungkook thinks about Ryunah, and he makes a mental note to send a text to Hoseok later to make sure that the girl is okay. Because she’s his friend too – Hoseok has been dating her for so long that she’s become an integral part of the friend group too.

“And Yoongi said it was going to be too many people,” Namjoon adds.

Jungkook immediately bristles at the mention of Yoongi, and Namjoon cocks an eyebrow, never one to miss anything. Jungkook tries to play it cool by taking a swig of whiskey, but he highly doubts that it works.

“Yoongi is an introvert,” he says carefully.

Namjoon purses his lips, nodding once. “Are you still…”

He’s told Namjoon after the first time it happened. In a situation much like this one, though a lot more alcohol had been involved. So much that Jungkook had ended up spending the night on the couch of Namjoon’s loft, which lies on the third floor of this building.

“Once in a while,” Jungkook says, and he hates how his voice is clipped.

He knows he wears his emotions on his sleeve for all to see, and fuck he hates it.

“How has that been going?” Namjoon carefully asks.

Jungkook winces. He knows he can’t escape the truth, especially not when he’s speaking to Namjoon. “It’s fun. It really is, but I think it’s driving Yoongi and Y/n apart.”

“And what about you and Yoongi?”

Jungkook gulps, eyes falling to the desk between him and his friend. He doesn’t really know how to answer that question: he’s always seen Yoongi like a reliable older brother, someone that offers a helping hand when he needs it, but now he doesn’t feel like Yoongi would be inclined to help him all that much anymore.

Then again perhaps that’s not giving his friend enough credit. Because Yoongi knows about Jungkook’s crush on you, has known since the very first day, and he’s still been a good friend to Jungkook. Even if that very first night, Jungkook believed that you were meant to be his.

Some foolish, stupid part of him will always believe it.

*****

Five years ago

The bar is filled to the brim with people who’d come to watch the Olympics on the big screens. Jungkook is squeezed in one corner, Namjoon sitting so close to him he’s been trying to mold himself into the wall to try to get some air. It’s not Namjoon’s fault – the bar really is too crowded, and they’ve been lucky that they’ve found a place to sit amidst the chaos.

Yoongi is seated across from Jungkook, Taehyung next to him, and Seokjin and Hoseok went to get a new pitcher of beer at the bar. Jungkook glances in that direction, trying to see his friends. They aren’t there, probably headed to the toilet first, yet Jungkook’s gaze catches on something. Or rather on someone.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone as beautiful as you. Maybe he’s still concussed from his latest fight, though he was the one to come out of it as the victor. Had been the one to win every fight for a while, he reckons.

But you’re an angel brought to life. Beautiful hair framing your face, big eyes taking in the bar as if you’re waiting for someone. From the distance it’s hard to tell the color of your eyes, yet Jungkook thinks they are boring right through his soul as you meet his gaze.

The corners of your lips stretch in a mindless smile, as if it’s a reaction, and Jungkook thinks he’s been brought down to his knees. It hits harder than an uppercut to the jaw, and he can’t help but smile back, though he feels clumsy and young and stupid.

You look away, and he thinks he stumbles forwards, thinks he’s sprawled on the floor when Yoongi says, “Should we go get that fucking pitcher ourselves? I think Jin and Hobi went for a smoke.”

Jungkook meets Yoongi’s gaze, eyes slightly widened. Yoongi cocks an eyebrow in question, immediately noticing Jungkook’s state.

“Wh- what?” Jungkook lets out.

“What’s got you stuttering?” Yoongi asks, laughing. “Got hit too hard last time?”

Jungkook frowns, though he glances over his shoulder towards you again. “There’s a girl at the bar.”

As if he understood everything by that simple sentence, Yoongi says, “So you’re looking to fuck?” It’s teasing. It really is, so Jungkook doesn’t take it as an insult when Yoongi continues, “I thought tonight was for the boys.”

Jungkook feels his cheeks burning. “No I… She looks like she’s waiting for someone.”

Yoongi moves to the side, trying to catch sight of you. He nods when he does, before looking towards Jungkook again.

“She does.”

“Would it be stupid to ask for her number?”

“Whose number?” Namjoon jumps in.

Yoongi motions towards you. “That girl.”

“She’s hot,” Taehyung answers.

“Fuck, guys stop it,” Jungkook begs, embarrassment swirling in his blood. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Just ask her for her number,” Taehyung insists.

Jungkook shakes his head, scrunching up his nose. “No, all good. Yoongi’s right, tonight is for the boys.”

“I can ask for you,” Yoongi suggests, clearly feeling a little guilty for bringing the other guys into the conversation.

“Bruh, he’s a boxer, pretty sure he can ask a girl out himself,” Taehyung jokes.

Jungkook loves Taehyung to bits, but sometimes he hates him too. Right now is one of those times. “Fuck off, Tae.”

Taehyung just grins from ear to ear, eyes bright with laughter. “Love you too.”

“Let’s just go get that pitcher,” Yoongi then says.

Taehyung whines as Yoongi pushes him, but they soon slide out of the booth. Namjoon doesn’t budge, and Jungkook watches the two other guys as they head to the bar. Taehyung says something in Yoongi’s ear, and Yoongi looks back towards them as he answers.

Though he’s far enough, Jungkook can read the ‘fuck off’ on Yoongi’s lips that makes Taehyung burst out laughing. Taehyung seems to insist, and Yoongi folds, catching Jungkook’s gaze once before nodding his head.

And then Jungkook watches them as they approach you. He’s never seen Yoongi flirt with anyone before, and he watches in horror or maybe awe as Yoongi leans against the bar next to you, saying something that prompts you to laugh, while Taehyung stands behind him to talk to the barman.

Even though the bar is crowded, Jungkook thinks he hears your laugh. It’s crystal clear, soft, and he wishes he could be in Yoongi’s spot. But he’s a shit flirter, usually only hitting on girls to fuck them. It’s always been easy to him, that part, but something about the way you carry yourself tells him that it wouldn’t work with you.

He forces himself to look away, letting out a groan. Namjoon turns his head towards him, a contemplative look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Yoongi is speaking to her,” Jungkook says, motioning over his shoulder.

Namjoon looks in that direction, and says, “And they are looking this way.”

Jungkook glances over his shoulder right away, an anxious thrill moving through his body. He catches your gaze again, though you look away immediately. He’s pretty sure you’re blushing, though you shake your head no.

Jungkook looks away, feeling disappointed because you looked embarrassed. As if him wanting to have your number is an embarrassing thing. Or maybe he’s just overthinking everything, and Yoongi didn’t even mention him.

Taehyung comes back a few minutes later with a full pitcher. “Yoongi’s still talking to that girl,” he complains as he sits down. “She said no to give you her number, by the way.”

It’s the way Taehyung says the word, as if he doesn’t give a shit about it, that prompts Jungkook to look over his shoulder again.

Indeed, you’re still speaking to Yoongi. And you look like you’re enjoying yourself, laughing and smiling as Yoongi also sports that same comfortable attitude. It’s so rare to see Yoongi like this that Jungkook feels guilty for mentioning you, for acting as if he was entitled to you earlier.

When you rest a hand on Yoongi’s forearm where it’s resting on the counter Jungkook knows that he lost this fight. Not that it was a fight to begin with, but he still feels like he lost when Yoongi doesn’t come back for a while still, only coming back to them after Seokjin and Hoseok returned too, both smelling of cigarettes.

Yoongi sits at the head of the table, and Jungkook meets his gaze. He has a piece of paper in his hand and he hands it to Jungkook, causing silence to fall at the table.

“I got it,” Yoongi says, a smile gracing his lips.

Jungkook thinks that it’s the same smile Yoongi was offering you earlier, as if it’s lingering around.

“Ah, keep it,” Jungkook replies. “You two were clearly getting along.”

Yoongi frowns slightly. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s all good,” Jungkook insists. “We never see you getting along with women, just keep it.”

“It’s because he prefers dick,” Taehyung jokes, and the table is a mixture of rolling eyes and loud laughs for a few seconds.

“Shut the fuck up,” Yoongi tells Taehyung, though his features are soft as he safely puts away your number in his wallet.

Jungkook watches the piece of paper as it disappears from view, and all he can do is just hope that he won’t regret his decision later on.

*****

The usual pain of his knuckles hitting the punching bag, of the recoil in his whole arm, is grounding. Jungkook goes through his usual routine, mind zeroing on the motions of his body, like the waves relentlessly hitting the shore. He’s just the vessel on this ocean, and each thump of his fists against the punching bag is satisfying, in ways words can’t explain.

It’s late. The world outside has gone dark, and Jungkook can see his reflection on the windows. From the corner of his eyes, he sees how precise each of his movements are, how fluid he is. Like a wave – never fully stopping, never lowering his guard. He knows this dance more than he knows how to breathe.

He started boxing when he got bullied so rough that going to school had started being dangerous to him, almost twenty years ago. Then, his small fists had barely been able to make the punching bag sway, but today he has to be careful not to let his strength go unchecked.

Yet he keeps going. The motions carry him, the 1-2-2-1 in his head a litany, like it’s a prayer to a religion only he knows. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t relent, doesn’t slow down, a machine more than a human being.

It’s the best way to evade his feelings. To find a place of cool calm where he can just be, he can just exist, instead of having to think and feel. Because lately he’s been feeling too much.

It’s been weeks since Namjoon’s gallery show. Since Namjoon asked if a wedge was created between Yoongi and Jungkook. And though Jungkook answered with the negative, the follow-up question Namjoon asked was haunting, and he doesn’t want to think about it.

So he goes faster, hits harder. Maybe if his punches are loud enough they’ll cover the sound of his thoughts. Or maybe he should have put some music on – the sound of his clipped breathing and grunts is haunting even to his own ears.

Frustration spikes in him, and Jungkook stops, grabbing the punching bag to keep it from swinging aimlessly. He leans his forehead against it, not caring that he’s covered in sweat and that his hair is clinging to it. He takes a few long breaths, focuses on the hammering of his heart in his chest, of the blood pumping in his veins.

And then he thinks of you, he thinks of Yoongi, and he’s right where he started this evening. Under you, under Yoongi, pleasuring the both of you while he was incapable of finding his own pleasure.

You didn’t say anything. Neither did Yoongi, or Jungkook. All of you pretended that it didn’t happen. That Jungkook hasn’t come in weeks now.

He’s just unable to do it with you now. Not that he doesn’t want to – he really does, but not being able to kiss you has been playing games on his mind, and most of the time he loses his erection before he’s been able to come.

He still feels pleasure. A lot of it. Far more than he’s felt in any sexual encounters before, but he just isn’t able to reach completion anymore. He thinks, when it’ll find him, maybe he’ll thank the God above, if there’s even one.

Or maybe he should be thanking the one in hell.

He sighs as his breathing slowly returns to normal, and then pushes away from the punching bag to head to where he left his water bottle and shirt. Indeed, he’s shirtless, and he watches his reflection in the windows as he takes off his gloves, and then gulps down the water. He isn’t as ripped as he was before he retired from boxing, but he’s still toned, defined muscles creating a play of shadows and lights on his chest and stomach. He’s proud of his body – proud of the way you look at him. Proud of the way Yoongi looks at him, with lust and attraction and a side of envy. Or at least Jungkook likes to tell himself so, because he looks at Yoongi with far too much envy for it to be healthy.

He empties the water bottle, before bending down to grab his shirt. Even though he’s sweaty, Jungkook puts it on, knowing he’ll throw it in the washing machine the minute he gets home. And then he heads to his locker, where he left his motorcycle helmet and keys, switching those with the gloves he always leaves here, and a second later he’s turning off the lights to the gym, before heading outside.

He locks the door, breathing in the fresh air of early spring, and then he walks over to where his bike is parked. He’s quick to mount the motorcycle, to push the key in the ignition, and his bike purrs to life. The vibration shakes through his entire body, and then Jungkook is shooting out of the parking lot, heading home.

The streets are empty at this time of night, and Jungkook enjoys the ride, even though it’s short-lived. First thing he does when he gets home is put everything he’s wearing in the washing machine, and then he takes a really long and hot shower, hoping to erase the feeling of you and Yoongi on him.

It doesn’t work. It never fully works, and here, alone in his shower, Jungkook can’t help the lust that takes over him. Can’t help the tightening of his balls and the hardening of his dick, but he ignores it, not caring that something aches in his lower stomach from the repetitive denied orgasms.

He steps out of the shower once the water has turned cold, grabbing a towel to dry out his hair before wrapping it around his hips. He’s about to step into his walk-in, which is connected to his bedroom, when he sees his phone lighting up where he left it next to the sink.

He frowns – who would text him at this hour? – before heading to the device. His heart sinks in his chest when he sees your name, mostly because you never text him so late.

Did something happen with Yoongi?

Apparently not, Jungkook thinks. Not as he reads,

[4:57 am] You: I’m sorry about tonight

Jungkook doesn’t know what you’re apologizing for. You’re always good, so good to him. His heart has just been playing with his mind.

[4:58 am] Jungkook: why? [4:58 am] Jungkook: don’t be sorry, you were great

It doesn’t take you long to reply. Or at least to start typing a reply. Jungkook watches the three dots appearing and disappearing for almost a whole minute before your text finally comes in.

[4:59 am] You: you didn’t cum [4:59 am] Jungkook: don’t worry about it

Maybe you’re drunk, or maybe the late hour has been getting to your head much like it’s been getting to his. Because your reply makes him so hard he thinks he might actually be able to bust tonight.

[5:00 am] You: i miss feeling you cum in me

Jungkook shuts his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose as if that would change your reply. When he opens his eyes again, he sees that it hasn’t, that you really did say that. He doesn’t really know what to make of it. So he heads to his bed, takes off the towel and lies down, fully naked and skin still wet from the shower, right in the middle of the mattress.

[5:01 am] Jungkook: you’re filthy [5:01 am] You: only for you

He’s going insane.

[5:02 am] Jungkook: are you sure you should be texting me this shit rn? [5:03 am] You: honestly Idk. yoons is sleeping next to me

Jungkook oh so wishes it was him next to you. Him that would get to fall asleep in your bed, him that would get to fuck you in the middle of the night whenever you can’t sleep.

[5:03 am] Jungkook: I don’t think you should be telling me this when he’s not with us [5:04 am] You: I know [5:04 am] You: I agree [5:04 am] You: but I haven’t been able to sleep bc I’ve been thinking about you filling me up, and it feels wrong to wake yoons up for this [5:05 am] Jungkook: maybe u should wake him up. Maybe you can ride him with your eyes closed thinking that it’s me

Jungkook starts jerking off right then and there. He feels like what he’s doing is wrong, far too wrong, but somehow, he’s aroused by the thought of you unable to sleep because of him, because you want him so desperately.

You don’t reply for a while. And he doesn’t think he deserves a reply. He knows he’ll hate himself as soon as his lust passes, if it ever does.

So he shuts his eyes. Remembers the first time he felt your walls clenching around his dick, and he squeezes himself harder to try to reproduce the feeling. Nothing compares, but you’re there, printed behind his closed eyelids, and he thinks maybe he’ll finally be able to come.

His phone vibrates, and like an addict in need of a hit he quickly grabs it where he left it on his mattress. And when he sees what you sent, he goes into a frenzy he’ll only later describe as the stupidest moment of his life.

You sent him a nude. He can’t see your face, but your lips are on full display, your breasts the centerpiece of the picture. Your nipples are perked prettily, as if just begging for him to suck on them, and he squeezes his dick so hard it actually fucking hurts.

He doesn’t hesitate. He takes a picture of himself that he sends to you, the tip of his dick leaking with precum.

[5:09 am] Jungkook: I’m so fkg hard for you [5:10 am] You: just fucking cum, jk, it shouldn’t be that hard

The degradation in the sentence sends him flying over the edge, and he grunts loudly as he does come on his stomach. He picks up his pace, milks his orgasm as it runs through him, alighting every single one of his nerves with pleasure. He’s shaking when he’s done, feeling weak and blissed and like he’s just committed something unforgivable. He wonders if you feel the same, lying in bed next to Yoongi.

Something breaks. Something physically breaks in him and he hates it. Hates every moment that led him to do this, to do the irreparable to one of his friends. He reckons, if Yoongi hates him forever, he’ll deserve it. Because he knows he won’t be able to hide this from his friend, knows that…

His phone rings, breaking him out of his train of thoughts. To his surprise, and mostly fear, it’s Yoongi calling on Facetime. Jungkook swallows a lump in his throat as he answers, the camera obviously angled towards his face.

Yoongi appears a few seconds later, looking half asleep. “So you’re sending nudes to my girlfriend now?”

Jungkook feels tears burning in his eyes. “I’m so sorry…”

Yoongi laughs, and it breaks into a moan that makes the tears still in Jungkook’s eyes.

“She wanted me to…” Yoongi grunts. “Call you to show you what you’ve done to her.”

And then the camera flips, and it’s your ass on display as you ride Yoongi in reverse cowgirl. Every thought eddies out of Jungkook’s head, and he just watches, entirely forgetting that he’s covered in his own cum when you moan.

Yoongi’s cock glistens in the dim light of the lamp on your night table. You’re so wet Jungkook can hear it through the phone, and his arousal spikes, waking something in him.

“Why don’t you slap her ass?” he tells Yoongi, voice low and dark. “To punish her for what she did tonight.”

Yoongi doesn’t even hesitate. And he slaps so hard Jungkook can see his imprint slowly forming on your skin. It’s sinful, and he does feel bad because the sound you let out is slightly pained, until Yoongi massages your ass and you moan.

Then Jungkook disconnects from reality. Or maybe he dissociates. He knows he tells Yoongi what to do. Knows he tells Yoongi to fuck you in doggy style, to pull at your hair and mark your back with his nails. He guides his friend through the whole thing until his own dick is aching again, ready to go even though he already came. So he jerks himself off, the pain in his chest increasing yet he’s unable to pay attention to it. Unable to do anything other than watch you and Yoongi fuck like animals, until Yoongi comes and pulls out to let Jungkook see his cum dripping out of your cunt.

Jungkook comes at the sight. Not as much as he did earlier, but he still grunts and moans and curses as new cum meets the one that was already on his stomach. He feels even more disgusting, but you and Yoongi don’t seem to notice. Indeed, you invite Jungkook over the next day, and maybe he’s just a little too distracted to notice the shadows in Yoongi’s gaze.

Jungkook accepts the invitation, knowing that he’ll never be able to say no to you. And when you finally hang up, after having spoken for a few minutes, Jungkook barely has the strength to drag himself to the shower to clean up.

Once he’s lying back in bed, he feels like he’s spinning. Like the Earth has sped up, or maybe like he’s a mere sock getting tossed around in the dryer. It’s sickening, just like that feeling that’s clutching at his guts, and that’s been clutching at his guts for a while now.

Because his bed is empty, cold. His bed is always empty and cold. He doesn’t have you by his side, doesn’t have someone to warm up the covers. Hasn’t had anyone to warm up his covers in what feels like forever now.

And so his heart breaks, even more. It aches like acid was poured on it, and no amount of breathing techniques he’d used to get in the game before his boxing matches help. No, the tears win, and though he feels weak for it, he lets them free. Lets them be testaments of his feelings for you, of the loneliness that’s been creeping on him every fucking day since he felt you on his dick for the first time.

The car looms closer to the wall and tonight, Jungkook thinks it may very well meet its end sooner than expected.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

*chuckles* we're in danger. What did you guys think about this one? I'm so afraid you won't like the direction this fic is taking :') let me know what you think!

Taglist (add yourself to the taglist here) (strike-through means dumblr isn't letting me tag you):

#sinful lust ch 4 #yoongi smut #jungkook smut #yoonkook smut #yoongi x you #jungkook x you #yoongi angst #jungkook angst #yoongi x reader #jungkook x reader #yoonkook x reader #yoongi fic #jungkook fic #sinful lust #btswritersclub #sinful lust series #yoongi #jungkook

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i-am-baechu · 5 months ago

Text

♬ Summary: After Y/N tells him something that makes him have bad dreams, Jungkook will do anything to show her that this is the right universe for her. Even though she already knows that

♬ Pairing: Established relationship; Jungkook x reader

♬ Rating: Explicit (18+)

♬Genre: Established relationship, comedy, fluff, and smut

♬ Warnings: Smut

♬ Part of, ‘ His Fan Girl

♬ Author’s note: Special guest lol and Part two to Seven

♬ Playlist: POV - Ariana Grande

Y/N sat in the back and smiled to herself. This was the first time she actually met Mingyu in person. She actually talked to him through facetime on accident and him being an extrovert was happy to make a new friend. Especially if that friend is his best friend's fiancé.

Jungkook just released his single Seven and Y/N couldn’t be happier for him. She felt bubbly at the song but she does everything in her power to ignore the explicit version. Even though Jungkook sings it to her everyday. She knew the song would do good and the music video shows how clingy he is when he’s in love. Army loved the song and the accomplishments that he did with the song amazed her. She knew Army powers but it always surprises her.

She let out a laugh when Mingyu messed up the choreography and her laugh only got louder when she saw Jungkook glare at him, “Mingyu, I told you to learn the choreography!”

“I was learning it!”

She shook her head and stood up from the ground. She walked towards them and placed her hand on Jungkook, “Be nice to him. He has a lot of choreographers in his mind.”

Jungkook pouted at this and turned towards her, “Don’t defend him.”

“No, Y/N, defend me.”

She leaned forward placing a kiss on Jungkook’s cheek, “Just re-do it. No harm in re-doing it.”

He rolled his eyes and nodded his head, “Fine but you need to film one with me.”

“Whatever you want, love.”

She sat back down and watched them do it again. She took out a bag of cookies from her pocket and nibbled as the two argued about the lighting. She picked up a water bottle and looked at Mingyu, “Mingyu, you should have some water.”

Mingyu smiled at her and glared at Jungkook, “At least someone is nice to me.”

“She’s an extension of me which means I’m being nice to you.”

After an hour, they finally got the clip and Jungkook shared it on Tik Tok. The drive home was quiet and a thought came to her mind. She let out a small laugh and tiredly turned towards Jungkook, “You know...I wasn’t supposed to go to the BTS concert all those years ago.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrow and glanced at her through the mirror, “What do you mean?”

“My cousin had tickets for Seventeen. Her mom upgraded her tickets to meet and greet tickets at the last minute.”

“Yo-You were going to meet Seventeen?”

“I was but I declined because I had a test the next day. I didn’t really think about it until I saw Mingyu today.”

Jungkook nodded his head in a nervous manner and then looked back at her, “Who’s your bias?”

She let out a small laugh and leaned back in the seat with her eyes slightly closed, “Why?”

“Just curious...”

“Honestly, I like all of them. I don’t have a bias. I’m going to take a nap okay...I’m tired from work.”

Jungkook nodded his head and rubbed thigh gently as he stared at the road, “Get some sleep babe. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

It’s been a week since this conversation and Jungkook has been having dreams about it. What if Y/N went to that concert? He would’ve never met her and he would probably still be single. The possibilities of her being with someone else never crossed his mind because it was always them together. Nothing more and nothing less. It was another night and Jungkook was sound asleep well, trying to be. The mind is a dangerous place.

“Jungkook, I have someone I want you to meet.”

Jungkook put down his papers and turned to see Mingyu smiling at him, “Oh? Who?”

He moved to the side and there was Y/N. She was dressed in a pink floral dress with her hair in a low pony-tail. He felt his heartbeat go faster at the sight of her, “This is my girlfriend, Y/N L/N.”

He glanced at Mingyu and then back at Y/N, “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I met her at a meet and greet. I saw how shy she was and I couldn’t stop myself.”

She shyly smiled and gently smacked his arm, “Gyu...stop it.”

Mingyu wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled at Jungkook, “Y/N, this my close friend, Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook couldn’t stop staring at her and he felt guilty. This was his best friend's girlfriend and here he was looking at her like she was his. He shook his head and smiled, “He-Hey.”

She bowed her head at him and offered him a smile, “Hello.”

Mingyu leaned down and kissed the top of her head, “I’m happy you can meet her.”

Jungkook shot up in his bed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, “Fuck.” He glanced to the side to see Y/N sleeping with the plushie that he won her at a festival. He smiled to himself and pushed some hair off of her forehead. His touch wasn’t light enough and she moved in her sleep. She opened her eyes and frowned at him, “Are you okay, babe?”

He sighed and looked down at the blanket, “It’s stupid.”

She slowly got up and she wrapped her arms around his arm with a worried look, “It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you baby. Take your time.”

He sighed and glanced down at her, “It’s something about last week that happened...I’ve been thinking about it.”

She frowned and thought to herself, “Is it because I ate your noodles? I’m sorry-”

“What? You ate my noodles?”

She let go of his arm and frowned, “Yeah....is that not what you're talking about right now?

“No...you owe me noodles though.”

She let out a small laugh and pushed some hair off of his forehead, “What’s bothering you then?”

“You were supposed to go to a Seventeen concert...instead of mine.”

She nodded her head and her face shifted in confusion, “Yes? I declined it, remember?”

“I know...but my mind is making up situations. In another universe you would’ve been with one of them instead of me.”

She frowned at this and hugged his arm, “Well, it didn’t happen baby. It was fate for me to decline and it was fate that we met.”

He glanced down at her, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, you're my everything. Jungkook. Is that why you’ve been sending me flowers everyday?”

“Well, you deserve all the flowers in the world and also yes.”

She let out a laugh and kissed the side of his head, “I appreciate the flowers but baby, I always want you. In every universe.”

The next moments were blurred but the only thing she knew was that Jungkook was cock deep inside of her. His body pushing hers into the mattress. His hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and she couldn’t help but admire his dark brown eyes in the lighting. She pushed some hair away and he stopped mid thrust to look at her. She smiled and leaned up the best she could, placing her lips gently on his, “How could I want someone else?”

He brought his hand and gently touched her face like she was made out of glass, “I hate that I thought of that. Will you ever forgive me?”

She clenched at this question causing him to moan, “I will...you have a whole lifetime with me to do so.”

He chuckled at this and gently thrusted into her making her eyes close, “I will do two lifetimes to get you to forgive me.”

“Jung-Jungkook, this isn’t a competition.”

“Y/N, you are the woman that I dreamed about when I was younger. The manifestation of every thought of what I want in a partner. I love you, I love you. You are not only my garden but the sun to my garden. My wife.”

She felt her heartbeat faster at his confession and leaned up to bring him in a passionate kiss. He returned the passion (maybe even gave more) and let out a dreamy sigh against his lips, “You’ve been watching too much Netflix.”

He let out a laugh and kissed her again, “It’s the truth. I love Jeon Y/N.”

She let out a laugh and pressed her forehead against his, “I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

Her eyes fluttered closed when she felt another thrust. She couldn’t stop herself from clenching and he groaned at the feeling. The pure feeling of overstimulation and pleasure was taking over, “Jung-”

“I know.”

She let out a moan at affirmation and he placed a kiss in the crock of her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he rocks against her. His hips sutter and she felt his fingers digging deep into her skin as he climaxed inside of her.

He pushed hair away from her forehead and kissed it as she was dazed out, “This is the right universe. Always with me, always. I love you.”

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts yoongi #bts x reader #Bts #bts hosoek #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #his fan girl

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ripleylove · 5 months ago

Text

We're in this together.

requested by @alexandra3719 saying:Can I request Rhea with depressed reader?

pairing: Rhea Ripley x fem reader

genre:angst

summary: even when you're feeling low,Rhea is here for u.

A/N: this made me get war flashbacks,also listen to this song to get the vibe!

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

Today,you felt empty.

Despite all the sun,the birds chirping and the blue sky illuminating the day,you still felt dark inside,as if it was raining in your heart.

You didn't have the strength to wash yourself or to go out,only getting out of bed to do basic tasks,like going to the bathroom or eating.

This bad feeling was eating you whole and to make it worse,your girlfriend Rhea wasn't here to comfort you because of her packed schedule in California,but she called you every night to make sure you were okay.

Rhea was your safe space,your comfort person,and your anchor, holding you to the ground,never letting you go away.

You two met at your worst,and she helped you to heal and to get better.

You fell in love with her because of this: for her patience and for her confidence in you,because she was sure and confident about you healing from your problems.

The sound of a car honking outside took you out of your trance,and you realised you were staring at the ceiling again.

You missed your girlfriend strongly.

You missed her scent,her lips,her warmth,her laugh,her muscular arms and her mama bear hugs.

Trying to fill the Rhea-void (you liked to call it like that),you picked up your phone on your white nightstand, instantly opening the facetime app.

Rhea answered after 4 or 5 rings,and you were instantly cheered up just by seeing her face.

"Hey,pumpkin! How are you doing?" She asked cheerfully, her enthusiasm transmitting itself onto you.

"Not bad but not good" You shrugged,and she asked the reason of that response.

"I think I'm in that period again,I feel like nothing has got a purpose,I don't have strength to do anything and I'm just sad. What do I do?" You started rambling about your feelings to Rhea,while she was listening carefully.

"Oh,baby. I'm sorry." Her pout was heavily visible, and you arched your left eyebrow.

"For what?"

"For not being here for you when you need me the most. I promise to come home as soon as possible, okay? I think tonight I'm gonna come home,so if it's like that you'll find me next to you in bed." She admitted with a smile,eager to see your cute face.

"Thank you,Rhea. I actually don'tknow what i would do without you." You started to get emotional,but you shook your head trying to get rid of the newly formed tears.

"Oh,baby,it's nothing. Remember,we're in this togheter, and im not gonna ever leave you."

taglist: @stellakiddsblog @bibibi-tchx @p-mp

#rhea ripley oneshot #rhea ripley angst #rhea ripley fluff #rhea ripley imagine #rhea ripley x reader #italian moment

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7brownsuga7 · 1 year ago

Text

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

BTS MASTERLIST:

BTS smut, fics, imagines, headcanons, reactions & drabbles:

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

• Namjoon -

ꨄ Missionary ꨄ Knowledge drabble ꨄ Art drabble ꨄ

Namjoon headcanon (freaky edition) submission ꨄ Namjoon boyfriend headcanon ꨄ holding hands short drabble

• Jin -

ꨄ Jin boyfriend headcanon ꨄ Headcanon (freaky edition) ꨄ Daddies home ꨄ

• Yoongi -

ꨄ Headcanon (freaky edition)ꨄ Boyfriend headcanon ꨄ Reaction request ꨄ

• Hobi -

ꨄ Headcanon (freaky edition) ꨄ Boyfriend headcanon ꨄ

• Jimin -

ꨄ Boyfriend headcanon ꨄ Headcanon (freaky edition) ꨄ Angel series: * midnight snack

• Taehyung -

ꨄ Short drabble ꨄ Yandere submission (father-in-law) ꨄ

ꨄ Yandere pt.2 (father-in-law) ꨄ Sleep tight (stepdad submission) ꨄ Taehyung headcanon (freaky edition) ꨄ Boyfriend headcanon ꨄ ꨄ Principal request ꨄ holding hands short drabble ꨄ Reaction request ꨄ

• Jungkook -

ꨄ Disruptions ꨄ Stupid black dress ꨄJealousy ꨄ

ꨄ Makeup sex ꨄ FaceTime ꨄ Ghostface killer ꨄ

ꨄ Ghost face killer pt.2 ꨄ Yandere submission (father-in-law) ꨄ

ꨄ Jungkook imagine ꨄ Elevator ꨄ Piercing drabble ꨄ

ꨄ Yandere pt.2 (father-in-law) ꨄ Touch me ꨄ

ꨄ Sub Jungkook x sub fem reader (submission) ꨄ

ꨄ Jungkook headcanon (freaky edition) ꨄ

ꨄ Jungkook boyfriend headcanon ꨄ holding hands short drabble

�� Reaction request ꨄ

Series:

ꨄ The God who answers after dark series masterlist ꨄ

• OT7 -

ꨄ Cockwarming with boyfriend ꨄ BTS crushing headcanon ꨄ BTS when jealous headcanon ꨄ BTS x idol!gf headcanons request ꨄ holding hands short drabble ꨄ You knew he loved you ꨄ

• Requests -

ꨄ Yandere (father-in-law) KTH|JJK ꨄ Sleep tight (stepdad) KTH ꨄFlower crown date reaction OT7 ꨄ

ꨄ Jealous over crush playing with their dog OT7 ꨄ

ꨄ Sub Jungkook x sub fem reader JJK ꨄ

ꨄ Headcanon (freaky edition) KNJ ꨄ

ꨄ Headcanon (freaky edition) PJM ꨄ BTS crushing headcanon ꨄ ꨄ Principal Taehyung request KTH ꨄ BTS when jealous headcanon

ꨄ BTS x idol!gf headcanons ꨄ Yoongi, Taehyung and Jungkook reaction request

• Short drabbles -

ꨄ Namjoon knowledge drabble ꨄ

ꨄ 1k followers special - sub Jungkook drabble ꨄ Needy drabble ꨄ

ꨄ Overthinker ꨄ Jungkook piercing drabble ꨄ Namjoon art drabble ꨄ International women’s day drabble ꨄ Jin Daddies home ꨄ holding hands short drabble ꨄ You knew he loved you ꨄ

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

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clemswinecorner-socials · 19 days ago

Text

So Hvar so good [ah]

yourusername

Hvar, Croatia

liked by willne, arthurtv and others

yourusername special thanks to my brother for bringing a bit of home and some company to me during my time abroad xx tagged georgeclarkeey, arthurnfhill, chrismd10, arthurtv

posted june 13th, 2024

chrisfan omg chris went to visit her how cute!! chrismd10 ur welcome mate, i'll bring an English flag as well next time 😂😂 yourfriend okay cutie

yourusername imy already pls come back to visit again

randomfollower this dump absolutely slayed georgeclarkeey good times arthurnfhill come back to london pls dealing with him was much more bearable with you around

yourusername got a while left but will let you know when I'm around xx

... view more comments

yourusername

Hvar, Croatia

liked by arthurnfhill, willne and others

yourusername so hvar so good

posted september 3rd, 2024

yourcousin ?!?! a man ?!?!

yourusername just a friend for now :) yourcousin croatian guy or??? yourusername wait I'll text you about it chrismd10 how about you text me as well

yourbestfriend i miss you girl randomfollower this makes me want to live abroad chrismd10 ok if its good i guess you wont need a place to stay in London then 👍🏻

yourusername definitely not what i said?? i'm sure your roommates will let me in x

... view more comments

yourusername

Hvar, Croatia

liked by chrismd10, theburntchip and others

yourusername one last hvar post before i'm back home

posted october 10th, 2024

chrismd10 are you ever going to tell me about the lad or croatianfriend I'll miss you sm!!

yourusername our aperol dates will happen over facetime <333

yourbestfriend there goes my reason to book flights to the sun

yourusername bff you know i'd never say no to a flight to the sun this just means more holidays together

arthurnfhill london weather will dissapoint you

yourusername i know pls dont remind me

randomfollower y/n replying to everyone but chris i can't

... view more comments

yourusername

London, UK

liked by arthurtv, georgeclarkeey and others

yourusername back in london init tagged chrismd10, arthurnfhill, theburntchip

posted october 26th, 2024

chrismd10 ON MY FUCKING DINNER TABLE???? chrisfan are you staying with chris?? randomfriend does chris know about the lad yet?

yourusername yes chrismd10 no yourusername you do??? chrismd10 literally don't??? all I know is that there is one

yourbestfriend obsessed with you and your slow softlaunchhhh

yourusername i fear that as the relationship develops the insta develops with it🤭🤭🤭

... view more comments

yourusername

liked by georgeclarkeey, miniminter and others

yourusername bit more hvar bts bc i lowkey miss it tbh tagged arthurnfhill, arthurtv, chrismd10, calfreezy, willne

posted december 16th, 2024

randomfollower is that arthur in picture 3 or am I delusional willne fantastic vibes arthurnfhill me too let's go back

yourusername looking up flights as we speak

chrismd10 y/n.

yourusername i think we need to talk? chirsmd10 d'you reckon? yourusername we're in the living room 😃👍🏻 georgeclarkeey uh oh chrismd10 don't think you're getting away with everything george

croatiabestie what you only miss me lowkey?

yourusername no i miss you highkey its the sunburns i miss only lowkey

... view more comments

yourusername

Ireland

liked by arthurtv, calfreezy and others

yourusername new year new relationship era (hardlaunching) happy new years lads, im enjoying a short getaway trip with my london boy <3 tagged arthurnfhill

posted january 2nd, 2025

georgeclarkeey hes putting in work, got you onto the Guinness already arthurfan t swift reference iktr chrismd10 happy new year, happy for you lot yourbestfriend favs (pls visit me next) lisahull_hill looks lovely y/n, tell me all about it next week xx arthurnfhill don't have to miss the missus this trip! arthurnfhill love you loads ❤️

... view more comments

#arthur hill #arthur hill x reader #arthur hill imagine #uk youtubers #uk youtube x reader

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withjaejae · 1 month ago

Text

Smoke | KNJ {CollegeAU}

parings: Fuckboy!Namjoon x Kinky!Reader (side Hoseok)

Wanings: smut, dom/sub, use of toys, use of restraints, gagging, reader is a mashochist, both love fucking but are smart as hell, rich college kids, frat (bts), cheating (?), hoseok gets fucked too, they smoke cigs, namjoon drives, alcohol consumption, rich parents behavior in the end, facetime(you'll see), she gets called a slut, POV switching(?). Let me know if I missed anything

→⁠_⁠→←⁠_→⁠_⁠→←⁠_⁠←→⁠_⁠→←⁠_⁠←→⁠_⁠→←⁠_⁠←

Its when Kim Namjoon, the college fuckboy, having been in the same class as him since freshman but only found you in Senior year when you decided a little change in wardrobe might be nice.

Who the fuck is that?

Namjoon knows every hot woman in class but her... Damn. Is she new? She must be. She walked in the room like she owned it. Her shoulders on display, those tight jeans that he'd love to peel off, she even smells nice even though she sits two chairs in front of him.

"Who's that?" He turns to Yoongi.

"Who?" He scans the room and sure enough, he knew what Namjoon was talking about. "I see. Can't be a transfer its too late into the semester." They both sink into their seats and observe you as you laugh with the guy sitting next to you.

"Why are you guys staring at Y/N." Jin whispers as he sits on the other side of Namjoon.

"Holy fuck, that's her?" Yoongi's jaw drops open. "Damn. It's about time she shows what she's capable of. Get it."

"Y/N. Huh, never thought she's this hot." Just before Namjoon switch seats the professor walks in.

"Don't look now, but Namjoon has been staring at you since the class started." Shayne, your gay best friend, whispers.

You try not to let it show but catching Namjoon's attention makes that former crush ignite again.

You know you'd catch him if you tried but you were too lazy to do anything if he's just gonna do you once. No, you plan on making it worth your while. If he still doesn't want you in the end, then so be it.

You can feel his stare and you definitely want to reel him in even more. When the professor asks everyone to hand in their papers, as usual, you're done first. The moment you stand up, you feel all the attention not just Namjoon's. Once you reach the bottom of the stairs you "accidentally" drop your paper and then you pull the 'legally blonde' move of bend and snap. Which in return, you see Namjoon's jaw clench and several others.

"Ms. Y/L/N. You look lovely today." Your professor Mrs. Pierce adores you, she keeps trying to set you up with her nephew but you often refused.

You turn around and notice most of the guys looking away, except for one. Namjoon maintains eye contact with you, you're not backing down either. You hold eye contact until you had to turn around and take your seat.

"Now, for this semester's project." Mrs. Pierce scans the crowd. "It'll be in pairs, but! I don't want you to pair with a friend or your roommate, but instead go for someone you don't know. You are nearing the end of your journey here, I'd like you to get to know each other well." She goes off about the project. His eyes fixed on the back of your head, he knew this was his chance.

He wasn't a dumb fuckboy, no. He was smart and often described as sexy brain. He knew you by name but you often dressed like a nun and never fixed your hair or face. Sure, Jin once said you were cute but Namjoon couldn't really see it until today. God, was he dumb this time. His ideal girl, right in front of him.

When the class ended several people approached you asking to be your partner, you gave them smiles but instead of leaving the room you turned around and walked up the stairs towards Namjoon.

You probably came here to ask to partner with him. But his imagination shattered when you turned to Jin asked if he already finished the paper for your language class.

"Shit. I forgot to send you the file last night but I'll forward it today, by lunch maybe." Jin casually answers and Namjoon frowns.

"Alright, text me." You bid before exiting the room.

"Okay, what the fuck?" Namjoon gets up and turns toward Jin. "When did you work with her? How? Why?"

"You skipped language last week and there was a group research done, there's four of us, chill." Namjoon scoffs and pushes past him, all Jin did was laugh. "Is Namjoonie jealous?"

"Fuck off. I do not get jealous." Jin continues to snicker.

Namjoon notices you at the end of the hall and chases after you before anyone else gets a chance.

"Y/N, hey!" You turn around to see him practically sprinting towards you. You just stand wait.

You knew he'd break when you approached Seokjin instead of him. You knew that would add another nail to his coffin, you knew dancing with him would be dangerous and yet here you both are.

"If you're not yet taken, I'd like to have you as my partner on this project." Straightforward, you love it.

"Uhh, yeah, sure." You try to be non-chalant. "I have to be somewhere right now but I'd love to meet up tonight if that works for you."

"Tonight would be great. See ya." He smirks and walks back to his friends. You notice a few girls frowning at what just happened before them.

The day keeps you busy, with your own thesis in the works and At 6PM your phone notifies you.

From Unknown: Where should we meet?

To Unknown: I'm guessing this is Namjoon?

From NJ: Right, sorry. I got your number from Jin.

To NJ: I was just about to ask him for yours.

From NJ: So... Your place?

To NJ: yeah, sure. If you're ok with that.

From NJ: cool, I'll see you then.

To NJ: you know where I live?

From NJ: I was gonna ask Jin... 😅

To NJ: He won't know that.

To NJ: *Address*, See ya.

Namjoon had to ask Jin if he knew her address but like she said, he doesn't know. He tried asking a few people if they know but nobody does.

Does this mean... He's the first guy you're going to have over? Namjoon feels a little too giddy for that.

Its not like he was planning to fuck you right away, the project will come first, then you next.

He parks outside an apartment building, he punches a code to enter and gets to the elevator.

From YN: the passcode to my door is ******. I might be in the shower when you arrive.

Fuck. Namjoon was in trouble. He shouldn't be this turned on just by the mere trust you give him, he could be a psychopath. Or worse, you could be a psychopath.

But it was a stupid thought that he pushed aside and gave himself access to your home.

It was nice, cozy, a wall filled with books and a minimalist living space. Its mostly shades of grey, beige and a speck of teal.

He can't hear anything except for the classical music that's playing from wherever the speakers are.

He'a losing his mind, the books on your desk are those he too has read, you have Vivaldi playing, your couch looks new and your place is too clean for a college student. He knows you're not poor because even when he didn't notice you as much, he could see your clothes were expensive.

Staring at the wall of books, a certain shelf of unfamiliar books caught his attention, you pull one out and flip through it without any thought.

"I never pegged you as a smut type of guy." Your hair is tied in a bun, your robe too short for his sanity.

"Sorry, I was just looking." Why did he sound less confident? He clears his throat. "I mean, ummm..." He's losing his shit over the sight of your thighs.

You giggle. "Give me a couple more minutes." Your eyes linger on him, and he was sure you gave him the "fuck me" eyes. But he heard the lock on your door, so maybe not now.

Namjoon's phone buzzes in his pocket.

*GroupChat*

Jin: Hey Joon, while you're at it. Pls tell YN that I'm revising the paper. Thanks

JK: YN? Whomst?

Tae: *image sent*

JK: holy fuck.

Tae: i took this with her permission by the way.

It was a photo of you on the university bench, your white button down falling off your shoulder revealing the black strap of uour , your hair flowing down your shoulders, your black jeans following the form of your ass so nice.

*GroupChat*

HK: Give me her number.

NJ: Nope. I'm already at her place Hobi. You snooze, you lose.

Tae: tell her I said hi.

He hears the door click open and you step out in- God, what game are you playing.- You wear a white loose top and almost nothing for shorts since it looked like it was barely covering your ass. Namjoon chokes on his own spit, she just looks at him.

"You good?" Namjoon nods. "Alright, ummm... Follow me." You nod towards the corner down the hall.

"You have a really nice... place." Namjoon admires your ass more than your actual decor.

"Thanks, it's my parents'." You stop in front lf a door. "Main bedroom is there, toilet, guest bedroom, study, and game room."

"Oh, like xbox and stuff?" He really did quote 50 Shades.

You just smile and giggle, but that doesn't really answer his question. Again, his brain goes haywire.

"We can start on identifying our subject, we can meet here whenever our schedule permits and if we meet often then we'll be done before the end of the month." Namjoon takes a seat on the couch and takes out his own laptop while you fire up your PC.

"Hey, YN." Namjoon stares at your PC. You look at him. "Ummm... If I may ask what's on every guy's minds these days." You nod for him to continue. "Why the sudden change?" Namjoon smirks, hoping he'd steer the conversation towards something better.

"Oh... Yeah, well I got bored." You shrug. That's actually the truth, you got bored of having to look approachable. "I couldn't keep up my image in front of my family, and at Uni so, I just went with what was easier."

"Ah... I know what you mean." You look at him and raise an eyebrow. "Back in highschool, I used to be this goody two shoes in front of my family but at school, I was a beast."

You just giggled at how cute he is. But before he could press on, you offered to push start the project, which he surprisingly took well. Namjoon isn't a douche, a fuckboy, but not a douche.

Two hours in and you needed a breather. A heavy one. You've already trusted him enough to let him into your home, why not let him go all the way. With the clock nearing 11PM, you turn to watch him typ away on his laptop.

"Hey, do you wanna take a break?" Namjoon cracks his neck and nods. "Are you hungry?"

"Oh, sure. I could eat." You slowly nod and order a pizza from nearby. "Sorry to ask but is there any place I could smoke?"

"Oh, follow me." You cross the hall and enter the game room.

Namjoon thought it was pretty nice, there was a huge couch that could easily be a bed, an actual xbox and a mini fordge with energy drinks and water. He looks up and lowe and behold there were hooks.

"Damn. What kind of kinky shit do you do in here?" You blush but catch yourself, you're not ready for that kind of thing yet.

"I do flying yoga from time to time." You open the balcony doors where a couch was situated in the center next to a stand-alone ash tray.

You pull out a cigarette from the drawer beneath the couch and hand him one but he pulls out his own brand from his pocket.

Namjoon watches you as you casually smoke next to him, ass almost out, hair messy, and that top that does things.

He has to admit, watching you work for the past two hours got him feeling warm, he did try to do some research but all he could do was scan the room for something that he could use to open a conversation.

"You're so deep in thought." You smirk, two feet away from each other and Namjoon could feel the heat radiating off you. "You know, I didn't expect it when you asked me to be your partner." That was a lie.

"Well, I wanted to get to know you." And in your pants but there's a process.

Unlike usual fuckboys, Namjoon would actually go on a date then fuck them after and then he bounces.

That's how its always been for the past years, while you hid behind your glasses and messy outfits, Namjoon was getting a taste of every woman in campus.

You exchange a few stories from class, your parents, his parents and friends. Which he doesn't usually do.

"You have an odd group of friends." You state at the mention of his friend group.

"Yeah, but they're cool." He puts the cigarette on the ash tray and lean back.

"Yeah, Everyone knows that." You lean over Namjoon, your chest to his face as you put out your cigarette on the ashtray. You give him a second to inhale your scent.

Namjoon felt himself get hard, would it really be bad if you saw it? You practically shoved your tits on his face.

"What was that?" Namjoon questions and you just giggled and stood up.

"We should wrap up today, we have an early class tomorrow." He follows you back into the play room. As you lock up the balcony, Namjoon strays and opens the wrong door.

"Don't!" Fuck. Plans = ruined.

Namjoon's jaw drops. It was a closet, not just any closet, its filled with sex toys and lingerie, whips, chains, a fucking leash?!

"Fuck. I knew you were something." Namjoon turns expecting you to deny it and feel flustered but instead, you smirk. Which was really hot. "Were you planning to use this on me?"

You scoff. "Mr. Kim." You slowly approach him, his throat goes dry. "I don't think you can handle what I'm planning." Okay, now he was definitely hard and you know it, your body flushed against his, lips so close but he doesn't move.

You give him a peck on the lips and shut the closet door. He chased after your lips but you were already headed out the door.

"Oh no, you don't." He wraps his hand on the back of your neck and pulls you back, crashing his lips on yours.

He shuts the door and pushes you against it. Teeth clashing, his tongue down your throat.

The night has escalated. He lifts you up and carries you to the bed. Using your strength you flip over, you straddle his thighs and sit up.

"Maybe we shouldn't." You speak, his face falls but you just giggle and kiss him again.

You start grinding on his crotch, he moans into the kiss. His hands roam your body freely, on your ass, on your tits, then finally, down your core.

He wasn't surprised to find you wet, shit, even he had a wet patch in his boxers.

"Wait." You pull away but he sits up and trails kisses down your neck. "Fuck. I said...wa—" He did a thing with his tongue on your neck which made your brain short circuit. "Fuck it."

If Kim Namjoon is already on your bed, you'd better make it his best.

—

You only had about an hour of sleep, its 7am and you both have a lecture at 8.

You try your best to crawl out of bed while a naked Namjoon is wrapped around your torso, you reached for the shirt at the corner of the bed and decided that's what you're gonna wear for the morning.

You wonder how THE Kim Namjoon likes his eggs in the morning.

You get the coffee maker running and take out some eggs and decided that sunnyside is the safest, you put some bacon on the air fryer.

While you're frying some eggs, you hear the door room close. Mornings like this can go both ways, he'd try to sneak out or he'd actually join you for breakfast.

Instead, Namjoon wraps his arms around you cupping your tits then your ass. You giggle as he starts kissing your neck, he continues like that until you're done cooking three eggs and the air fryer finishes.

"Come on, we have to get ready for class." You spin within his hold and push his head off your shoulder.

God, was he gorgeous. And he thought the same of you.

"Mr. Sallow cancelled, a family emergency." He starts kissing down your neck again. "Which means, we can pick up where we left off this morning." But his stomach betrays him as it growls so loud.

"Breakfast first." You pick up the plates from the counter and bring it to the dining area.

He takes a seat and drags you with him, making you straddle him. He feels you naked below and you feel his dick twitch.

You grab a piece of bread and feed him, along with eggs and bacon. Not a finger was lifted by Namjoon this morning, they were probably tired.

"What time is your next class?" His voice was low and raspy, his pupils dilates now that he's fed.

"I think we have the next one at 2." He glances at the clock behind you, you had 6 hours to burn and he has a very detailed plan on how to do that. "But I do have errands to run. I'm running low on condoms." You whisper.

"We can do it raw next time so you can cut back on expenses?" You giggle again.

"Yeah, sure. Next time." You feed him.

Namjoon recognizes that tone from anyone. A doubt that he'd see them again, if it were any other woman, he'd get her hopes up and butter her up before leaving and never to call back again.

YN knows he'll be back faster than anyone, all the toys he picked out last night were things you wished someone used on you instead of the other way around.

Namjoon turned out to be the perfect playmate but you can't tell him that.

He touched you in all the right places, kissed you where you needed him the most, no wonder he was called a fuck boy because if he ignores any girl after this then you'd probably lose it too.

Thinking about what you did all night got you wey and Namjoon feels it.

"How about I have my breakfast now?" He picks you up and takes you to the couch but you stop him.

"I need to shower." You push him and run towards the shower but you didn't bother to pull the door all the way.

Namjoon takes it as a sign and follows you inside. And again, like last night you spent the morning wrapped up in each other.

At around 11AM when Namjoon finally needed to go home to get a proper bath.

"Do you need me to drop you off?" You offer, you're dressed in a jumpsuit and a leather jacket to cover all the scratches, hickeys and bruises namjoon has left on your skin.

If anything, Namjoon can get pretty rough and there are a few girls who didn't want to see him again because he figuratively broke them.

"I drove here." You nod. "So..." Namjoon starts.

"Damn. The slow 'so...' can really mean a lot." You giggle. "Don't worry, Joon. I won't be chasing you down the road if that's what ypu're worried about."

That's not what he meant. Quite the opposite.

"No, I was going to ask when can I see you again?" He follows you out of the apartment and down the hall.

"We'll see each other at class this afternoon." You play non-chalant, his game.

"Can I see you after?" He slowly turns his head toward you.

"If you want to." You smile at him and he flashes you a genuine smile where his dimples come out.

You separate paths at the parking lot, but Namjoon refusing to leave before he got another kiss, which you had no problem of giving.

The moment Namjoon sets foot in their frat house, he's surrounded by his brothers.

"You didn't come home last night." Jin's eyes were slits.

"You don't smell like alcohol." Tae sniffs him. "But you do smell like vanilla! You took a shower in a woman's bathroom."

Jungkook lifts Namjoon's shirt and reveals a well scratched back. "Did you fight with a tiger?!"

"Leave him alone guys." Yoongi walks in with his morning black coffee. "He probably spent some night at one of his women."

Namjoon just smirks and pushes past his brothers.

"You better come home early tonight." Namjoon just shoots Yoongi a thumbs up and enters his room.

Tonight is a TGIF Party that the house throws to raise funds for the charity they're supoorting. They're not exactly a typical frat that just throw parties coz they want to.

A knock comes on Namjoon's door just as he was about to get in the shower.

"You should be here tonight." Yoongi peeks his head through the door.

"I will, chill." Namjoon smiled again.

"You're freaking me out with all the smiling. Who were you with last night?" Yoongi, who now stands by his door with a refilled cup of coffee.

"YN." His tired expression turned into shock.

"You fucked YN? ON THE FIRST NIGHT?!" Namjoon throws a balled up sock at Yoongi in hopes to get him to shut up. "Holy shit. And she got you smiling, must have been good."

"Ah, that's not even enough to describe it." Namjoon smiles again and finally enters the bathroom.

"Party Joon! I need you tonight." Yoongi walks out of his room shaking his head.

At the 2pm lecture, Namjoon scans the room for you. He isn't even sure that he should sit next to you,He isn't sure if you wanted him to. You never really set any boundaries with him. And he with you, on a normal day, Joon would be telling the girl to keep it lowkey.

But you're a trophy in his eyes, deserves to be shown off. But that would break his status quo since that's not what Kim Namjoon does. He's never had a stable girlfriend, barely knew how to properly date or to be a boyfriend but everything crosses his mind while he prepared for this lecture.

He worked well with just casual fucks and having a string of go-to women.

"Hey Joon, will I be seeing you at the party tonight?" Stacy winks at him, she was the most recent one. Only a few weeks ago.

"Ummm, I do live there." Namjoon answers but at that moment you lock eyes and you fucking wink.

He leaves Stacy while she was mid-sentence and she scoffs. He makes a bee line for you and takes the seat next to you.

"Hey." Namjoon's smile is wide, his cheeks hurt from smiling all day.

"Hey you." You smile back. A warmth spread through you. "How's your day going?"

"I had a really good nap before this." He that loves your attention was fully on him. "How about you?" His voice was low and he was leaning into you.

"Still sore but I'll manage." You whisper making you both explode in giggle.

From behind Namjoon you notice Stacy scoff at you two.

Namjoon takes a deep inhale as the professor walks in, hoping to keep your scent inside him. Which sounds fucked up if you think about it.

The lecture goes on for two hours, no flirting happened except for when the both of you had to discuss a couple of topics that your professor presented.

The entirety of you had Namjoon completely invested. You're smart, beautiful, and a bit insane AND he loved fucking you.

But like many men, he gets spooked by commitment. Maybe you can be an exception? You've known each other a day and he's already speaking like this.

There really must be something wrong with him.

While you're here being chill about everything, Namjoon is losing his fucking mind over one night he spent with you. He keeps replaying the sounds that you made, the memory of your skin on his. God, fuck.

He really is fucked.

After class, Namjoon asks if you had plans for tonight, when you said you were free, he asked you to be his +1 at the party.

"I'll be there." He helps you out of the aisle.

"I can pick you up so you won't have to drive?" Namjoon seems really different today.

"I can drive." You confirm, you both walk out of the hall where a Stacy is waiting.

"I can't wait to see you tonight, Joon." She winks at him and scowls at you.

"Oh. I'm with YN tonight but it would help our charity if you'd come." Stacy looked pale.

"See you tonight." You bid at Namjoon before walking down the hall towards Shayne.

"I swear, I saw you and Kim Namjoon give the 'fuck me eyes' at each other. Or I'm just really high." You bump his shoulders and wink. "No fucking way. How was he? Were the rumours true? YN! SAY SOMETHING."

"I'm gonna head home and prepare for the party." You wave at him and practically sprint to your car.

Namjoon does the same, Yoongi and Jungkook were hanging up the decors while the other frat brothers were in the kitchen, Namjoon helps move around the furniture, he checks the music, lights, booze. Everything has to be perfect.

"You're pretty hands on today." Jimin, your in-house DJ who was setting up his station.

"That's because his girlfriend is coming." Yoongi says non-chalantly and Namjoon ignores.

"Whoa. Overnight? She must be hot hot." Jimin grins. "I'll keep an eye out."

"Joke all you want, she's not my girlfriend." Not yet, he hopes.

Once everything has been set, he and his brothers take the salutatory shot before opening the doors.

People started to file in, Namjoon's eyes follow every one hoping to see you. The door closes when the party gets a bit full and its only been 15 minutes.

A knock comes and Jungkook opens it. As if the world slowed down, the music was muffled and the sun has shone again.

You drop 100 bucks into the donation bin and Jungkook and Tae jump with joy. Namjoon meets you halfway down the hall and you exchange smiles.

"Hey." Literally, you brighten his world. Again, ITS ONLY BEEN A NIGHT.

You're dressed in all black, cargo pants and a long sleeved cropped top that has a cut out above your tits which, from his height, he can see the golden globes. Few hickeys peek out from beneath you collarbone and Namjoon has never felt proud of his markings on anyone.

"Hey YN!!" You and Taehyung shared a fistbump. "Thank you so much for the very generous donation, and for that, you get to do the first beer bong of the night!"

Everyone around you cheers and even Jimin acknowledges you making the entire house watch you.

"You don't have to." Namjoon whispers and Tae gives him a look that says 'are you for real?'

You just smile and laugh and take the end of the beer bong. Everyone starts counting as Tae and Jungkook start pouring the beer. You've been at it for a while and from the corner of your eye, Namjoon starts cheering for you.

Once you finished off 4 beers through the bong you cut yourself off.

"THAT'S A RECORD!" Everyone cheers and so does Namjoon!

Who, the entire time, felt his fucking dick twitch at the sight of your throat bobbing. He knows you can control your breathing, he's seen you.

As soon as everyone went back to their own business, Namjoon pulls you in for a long kiss.

"That was hot." He whispers against your lips.

"And here I was thinking I'd never see Namjoon do PDA." Yoongi had a stupid grin on his face when you turn around. "As the president of this house and the charity chairman, I'd like to thank thee — YN, for the generous donation and breaking the beer bong record for females." He hands you a shot. "For also making Namjoon do PDA." You, Namjoon and Yoongi raise your glasses and throw back the shot. "I hope to see more of you."

You and Namjoon find a corner in the living room where you both nurse a beer while exchanging childhood stories. You can feel a few gazes lingering on both you and Namjoon since he's had his arm around your shoulder the entire time.

Namjoon is never known for PDA, nobody knows if he's ever had a girlfriend, and suddenly he's hanging with the new hotgirl. It makes sense but what doesn't is that his friends can see how hooked he is on you.

"Do you dance?" You bite your lip, borderline drunk from all the alcohol in your system.

"Only if my life depends on it." Namjoon was not as drunk but he's intoxicated with you.

Sexy Nukim starts playing and you just had to get up and start dancing. Namjoon watches you like a hawk while sipping his beer.

You bump into Hoseok, one of his brothers, with eyes locked with Namjoon's you start grinding on him. He should be furious but he's not, instead he feels himself get hard over the sight of you sweating and moving.

Hoseok could be gay, they're not sure but he's definitely not a threat until he runs his nose down your neck and you actually bite your lip. Namjoon's jaw visibly clenches until Stacy appears in front of him, blocking his view of you.

"Hey hot stuff, how about we—" Namjoon gets up and ignores her. Just when he was about to walk, you suddenly appeared behind Stacy.

Without words you simply take Namjoon's hand lead him up the stairs fully aware of all the eyes on you. Namjoon was in a trance and simply followed you.

When you stopped at the top of the stairs he leads you towards his room.

The moment you stepped in your mouths were on each other, his hands on the of your jeans and your hands peeling his shirt. You pushed him on the bed and straddled his lap, lips lingering on each other.

You tug on his hair making him crane his neck, you lick a long stripe from his collarbone upto his ear where you nip at his lobes.

You take out his belt in one pull urge him to move up to the headboard, once there you take his wrists and secure it with the belt and tie it to his headboard.

A load thud came from outside his door, honestly you wouldn't mind if someone walked in.

But you get up and made sure to lock the door, the music was so loud, you were sure nobody would hear you. And you liked it that way.

You strip Namjoon off his pants and boxers, his dick springs to life and you did what you've been wanting to do since you got here.

Namjoon is getting the best blowjob of his life and he's tied to the fucking bed. He was about to come when he finally gets a hand free, he weaves his hand through your hair and pulls you off. You smirk and holy fuck did he almost cum.

When you fully untie his hands he wraps the belt around your neck like a leash, the smile on your face lets him know that you absolutely love it.

"Fucking slut." And you moan. Namjoon grins and turns you over on all fours.

He reached out for a condom on his night stand and rolls it on him, he enters you and you can still feel a little sting from yesterday's events.

Namjoon is merciless, fucking, degrading, spanking. Fuck it was heaven. You've been playing dominant your entire sex life when all you wanted to be was a submissive slut.

He fucks you in new ways you never thought was possible, he was impressed with how flexibe you could be and how good you take him. Other women would tap-out but you're taking it so well.

You don't know when you both passed out, or what time did you actually decided that it was enough because Namjoon had the stamina of an animal and at one point you feared that you won't be able to keep up.

But on his double bed you lay tangled in his limbs. You stay snuggled next to him.

When was the last time you actually genuinely cared for another human being? You had a fat crush on Namjoon a year ago but you never really made an effort until recently.

You glance at the clock by the door, its only 8am. There are no lectures for saturday which is why they hold the TGIF Parties.

The sound of Namjoon's breathing was therapeutic, You fall back asleep in a matter of minutes

By 8:30 Namjoon stirs awake, he made sure you were sti there, he kisses your nose. But he froze after doing so, who is he?

Namjoon tries to slip out of your grasp by rolling you over, When he's free, he puts on his pajama pants and head out the door where a few other women were doing the walk of shame in the morning and the men standing by their door frames.

"All you male whores get down here, now." Yoongi calls from their kitchen. Namjoon is impressed by how clean the space is.

"Who even had the energy to clean?" Jungkook with one eye still shut groans.

"Not energy, money." All of their heads whip towards Yoongi. "Well, around 5am this morning, Namjoon's girlfriend came out looking for something to drink." Their heads turn to Namjoon this time. He remembers you slipping out, you even brought him a glass.

"And? She cleaned?" Jin swiped his finger across the kitchen island.

"No, she saw me trying to clean up a little. Then she stepped on something sticky. She asked if I needed help." Yoongi sighs. "I was still drunk and said yes, and that if only we had enough people to help it'll be done in 30 minutes. She got her phone, called someone and in like 5 minutes two vans arrived and like 15 people came in and cleaned the place."

Jimin busted out laughing. "So Namjoon got himself a sugar mommy. No, a hot sugar mommy. She needs to stick around."

"Like that's gonna happen. He'll probably have a new one next week." Hoseok chuckles. "And when that happens, I'll be happy to keep her around." Namjoon's jaw clenches.

He and Hoseok had always been sort of rivals but nobody crosses the line, and he wouldn't have a doubt that Hoseok would pursue you once its over.

"I didn't see her leave though." Taehyung finally pipes.

"Yeah, she's still sleeping upstairs." Namjoon responds.

"That's new. Usually you'd make them leave at the crack of dawn. Damn, you really are hooked." Jin chuckles. "Well, I don't see a problem here. If she wants to help, let her. Its not like we forced her or anything. I don't see a big deal."

"Jin's right. Let's just get on with our days and see where this leads." Jimin gets the coffee machine running and notices you coming down the stairs dressed as you are from last night. "Speak of the devil."

Everyone turns around and you just smile and study the place to make sure the people you hired completely cleaned the place.

"Thank you for last night, party was great." Namjoon approaches you and kisses you on the lips.

"Ewww." Jungkook looks away.

"Thank you, YN, for your help this morning. I really appreciate it. We appreciate it."a chorus of thank yous were thrown your way.

Namjoon guides you to the door.

"Do you have any plans for today?" He whispers.

"I was going to try and continue to work on the paper and my thesis." Namjoon's hands wrap around your waist, you're being too irresistible for him and its fucking him up.

"Right..." For a second he thought about asking you out on a proper date but that's unlikely of him. "Well, I guess I'll see you later?" You just smile and run your fingers through his hair.

"Okay." You whisper, Namjoon loses his self control and kisses you deeply.

The moment you drive off Namjoon feels his heart skip a beat. What have you done to him? Was there fumes or powder in the closet that made him crazy over you? Or... Witchcraft? But Hoseok sees it too. He didn't even know you were rich-rich until Yoongi told everyone about the people who helped cleaning.

Without realizing it Namjoon is back on his bed staring at the ceiling, recalling the events of the past two nights. You barely knew each other 48 hours ago now he's itching to follow you home.

You, on the other hand, is grinning from ear to ear. Sure you love Namjoon's attention but you know damn well he won't be taking you seriously. Still, the sex was different and mindblowing and your tiny chats had you opening each other up like christmas presents. It's not freaking you out like it does Namjoon, because you know how you're going to end up if you start caving in with your feelings.

Your day went the way you told Namjoon it would be, on your desk doing the project and your thesis.

You don't actually need his help but you'd like some insight so you send him the document thru email and move on to your thesis.

Namjoon sees the email notification and opens it, its your draft for the project. Was this your way of reaching out to him? You could've just texted him. But reading through the document, he frowns. You've finished it in a day and now there's no reason for the two of you to meet up again.

Great. Now Namjoon really has to find an actual reason to see you. Why did you have to be so smart? But truth be told, he too could've finished the project alone but he wanted to spend more time with you.

"Hey, we're gonna grab some coffee on the way to the bowling alley. Wanna come?" Jungkook's head is peeking though his door. He simply nods and gets up to change.

Jimin drove towards the coffee shop and Namjoon has been locking and unlocking his phone. A notification pops up and sees that you followed him in instagram and he gets a message from you.

YN: I sent the file thru email earlier. You can tweak it and then send it back so I can review it.

YN: no rush but at this rate we can submit the final file by next class.

Namjoon sighs and leaves you on read. Typical, you thought.

"Hey, YN followed me on instagram." Yoongi pipes from the front seat.

"Me too." Hoseok grins at Namjoon.

Jimin and Jungkook too. Tae and Jin were already mutuals with her since early this year. So Namjoon wasn't as special as he thought he was and it made him feel a little upset.

Why? He's not sure but knowing you followed his friends too made him sulk.

"You won't mind if I hit up her DMs, right?" Hoseok nudges his shoulder and Namjoon doesn't respond. Normally, he wouldn't mind but something about you made him feel weird. "I'll take that as a green light."

"Come on Hobi, she was just with him last night. At least wait 24 hours." Jungkook's advice did not make it any better. "I know I will."

"Damn, competition is tight." Hoseok teases but Namjoon's mood doesn't change.

And like fate, they all ran into you at the coffee shop. Hair in a pony tail, your glasses is on and you're in an oversized shirt tucked in denim ripped denim jeans and you have an Iced Americano on the table while you tap in your phone grinning like a school girl.

Namjoon pretends not to see you but Hoseok makes his way towards you and sit on the empty seat across you and you actually smile at him.

"Hoseok is fast and furious." Taehyung laughs but then he sees Namjoon with a stern expression and stops smiling. "I mean, andwhat an asshole, right?" He nervously laughs.

Hoseok points at him and you turn to wave and smile. A different smile from what Hoseok received, and for the second time today, Namjoon's heart skips a beat.

Hoseok continues to chat you up until it was their turn to order, he invited you to go bowling but you politely declined and said you had other plans for the day but really, it was just code not to flirt with anyone within the 24 hours of being with someone else unless the previous partner kept it on the downlow but last night Namjoon had shown you off to all his peers by kissing and sneaking away with you.

"I tried inviting her but she said she had plans." Hoseok was grinning. "She also said that the bowling alley are pretty full on Saturday nights unless we had a reservation, do we?" The group turns to Jungkook who shakes his head.

Hoseok goes back to your table and you make a call. A minute later the both of you smile and nod.

"Now we do." Hoseok proudly smiles after using you to get them a lane since you were friends with the owner.

Namjoon loathes that Hoseok just used you for their gain but it seemed like it only bothered him. You weren't even looking at him while they waited for their drink, is he really not going to talk to you? He thought to himself.

Just as he was about to approach their drinks are done and everyone is headed back out towards the car. Out of the corner of your eye you see him hesitate and it just fuels your ego.

The reason you were grinning on your phone was because the new shoes you ordered is ariving soon and you saw his face frowned as he saw you grinning.

You refuse to be the mouse in this game.

You receive a notification from Namjoon.

NJ: i'll make revisions tonight but its already good.

NJ: see you around.

Namjoon groans, where is his confidence? He's the school crush, and he didn't even talk to you.

Oh right, that's because it was against his personal rules to not talk to any hookup unless necessary within 24hours. Stupid code. But it's kept other women wanting him more, but you're not like other women. You're smart and rich, what could you possibly need him for. He was equally smart and rich.

After bowling Taehyung thought it would be good to go clubbing and just relax given that the party yesterday was exhausting and the bowling today didn't help.

Namjoon immediately agrees if it means he could take his mind off you. You and Shayne were already in the club when they walk in but neither of you notice, while you occupy the VIP seat that could easily fit 10 people, Jimin looked around for an empty spot where they could sit.

"Looks like its a full house." Jimin shouts over the music.

"Hold on!" Taehyung spots you from across the room and points.

Namjoon follows his finger and sees you with Shayne and some dude he's making out with, you look like a goddess. Dresses in all black dress that showed your entire back. Which he painted with his cum last night and now he's got a boner. You casually sip on a martini and some guy tries to chat you up but you shake your head looking like you just refused that he could sit.

He was too busy watching you that he didn't notice Jin and Hoseok had already approached you and you grinned,

It looked like you were happy to see them. They pointed and everyone waved except Namjoon. You immediately offer your booth and pushing Shayne and his choice for tonight to the end of the booth to which he grins and said that he's leaving with his beau.

You roll your eyes and shoo them away as Shayne blows you a kiss. That means its 7 of them and one of you, you feel a bit awkward since Namjoon had barely spoken to you and even chose to ignore you earlier but it was fine.

Hoseok calls the rest of the guys over and they each thanked you for sharing the booth, you decided to sit by the end of the booth and Namjoon had chosen to sit on the other end, the couch was shaped like a staple wire so you and Namjoon sat across each other with 6 people in between.

You raise your hand to call over a waiter and ask the group for their drink preference, you ordered another martini and Namjoon is just having whatever they had.

The seating arrangement was you, Hoseok, Jin, Tae, Jimin, Yoongi, Jungkook and then Namjoon.

Hoseok had started chatting with you again, Namjoon had his eyes fixed on the two of you.

"That should be me, holding your hand." Jungkook sings as he watches Namjoon looking at you like he'd punch Hoseok when he gets a chance. "You look like you could kill someone." Jungkook hands him a shot and he takes it easily.

The group breaks out into their own conversations but Namjoon opted out since all he could do was stare at you and the only time you gave him attention was when you handed him his drink that the waiter mistakenly gave you.

He was right, you're not like other women, otherwise you would've already been all over him like he wants you to be. His pride refusing to give you the satisfaction that he liked your attention.

A waiter approaches and whispers something in her ear and she nods excusing herself from the group, Namjoon's stare follows her towards a dark corner in the club where she actually turns to look at him and winks. She knew what she was doing and Namjoon is just about to fall into the trap.

He knew this club had back rooms, what he didn't know was that you were a member, better yet, a benefactor.

A couple of minutes pass and a waiter approaches Namjoon to hand him another drink, he didn't order one yet but at the bottom of the glass was the number 7. He excuses himself, not like they would notice and move towards the exit he saw you take.

He shows the glass to the bouncer and lets him in, he walks down the hall and finds the room. He didn't knock, he just entered.

And following you had to be the best decision tonight. He knew you were freaky but this is next level.

You were on the bed, arms bondaged to each other, it was you, the hickeys on your shoulder said it all. You had on a choker and a thong. Your eyes blindfolded, no words were needed.

He takes off his shirt and stands before you his hard dick right in front of your face, he knew you needed him, you can feel his warmth in front of you.

"Please." Were the only words you said to make him he takes off his pants, he's not into bondage, hell he didn't even know the basics but you seemed to enjoy him a lot that you allow him to dominate you.

"Fuck you're such a little slut." He makes you suck on his thumb. Holding your tongue down.

He revels in the way that you follow his commands, a simple "ass up" and you're down on your face moaning into the bed as he uses a whip on your ass.

He's over the moon with how you're leaking fluids all the way down your tights. He uses his finger to collect it in puts it in your mouth.

His breath is shaky as you take it without question. He takes off your blindfold and makes you look up towards the mirrored headboard.

"I'm going to fuck you raw." You don't complain since you have your birth control in and you'd probably get a plan B after this.

You feel the tip of his cock enter and you let out a shaky breath, the breach feels too good. Normally, you'd take men here to dominate but having it the other way around made you realize its feels way too good and feels way better.

There are no clocks in the room and you don't know how long have you two been fucking but you feel sore all over and you feel full of cum. He's gagged you, hung you upside down, your back is stinging from all the flogging, Namjoon is on the brink of passing out but every time you make eye contact you giggle.

Jesus Christ, you are a freak. And Namjoon loves it. The moment he unties you, you colapse onto the floor, your limbs are numb.

"Get up." His voice is hoarse, you whimper as you push yourself off the floor. Pain finally taking over the pleasure.

Your face covered in cum and sweat as you stand before him. He wraps a hand around your neck expecting you to flinch but you grin instead.

"Fuck, such a good girl." He kisses you but slowly this time.

His phone rings from his pants somewhere across the room breaking your moment, you try to limp your way into the corner of the room where your dress from tonight was hanging.

"Hey, where the fuck did you go?" Jin was on the line and Namjoon checked the time it was 2:30AM.

"I'm with YN." Jin gives him a little 'oh' and hangs up. There's not really much explanation needed.

He puts on his clothes and sees you bending over to put your heels back on, you grab a wet tissue from the shelf and clean the cum on your hair and face.

And as if nothing happened you walk towards him.

"I need to smoke." Was all you said before he follows you out the door and into the back exit where you were greeted by the bouncer.

Namjoon follows you towards your car, you take out the cigarettes and hand him one before you both take a drag.

"Can I ask you something?" He starts and you just nod with the very little energy you have. "How did you get into this kinky shit?"

"Oh... When I was younger, I had this boyfriend who wanted to try kinky shit. At first he was the dom and I was a 'sub' but when we tried to reverse the roles, well he liked being a sub and it just stuck." Your voice was low and hoarse from all the moaning and blowjobs.

"But you let me dominate you?" He traps you between him and your car. "Why is that?"

"It just happened the other day, when we first fucked. I liked how you treated me, the way you called me names, when I begged, i loved the pain." Namjoon tries not to get hard again, he's not sure if he can go another round. "Do you not like it?" Your doe eyes looking up at him, makeup is barely there already.

"Babygirl, I liked it way too much." His voice sent shivers down your spine. You smile, like a genuine smile as if he just told you that he liked you and not the sex.

"That's good." You whisper before taking a drag from your cigarette.

There's something seriously wrong with you but he's not one to complain, at one point earlier he was genuinely worried that he'd gone overboard but you had set your safe words and none of them was uttered by you.

He almost broke skin on your ass but he held back and you know it. Because for you, that was the only love language you knew.

You dropped off Namjoon before driving home to your place, you took an ice bath just to make sure that your entire body won't bruise from the ropes.

Namjoon had a shit-eating grin as he walks up the stairs to his room.

The week flew buy, you and Namjoon were inseparatable, he's been spending more time at your place partially to do the project but also to explore Namjoon's limits since you already knew yours.

You've been branded as off-limits due to Namjoon being literally stuck to your side. You and Namjoon looked committed but he hates talking about it, while you just ignore the questions.

You both handed in your paper two weeks earlier than the deadline and Mrs. Pierce was impressed. And was proud that the two of you hit it off, she had no idea.

"Namjoon." Hoseok approaches him on the bench at one of the actual times you two are separated. "What do you think about a Poly relationship?"

"Why would you ask me?" He pulls down his sunglasses.

"Well, I just saw YN and asked her the same question. She said if both parties are okay then it shouldn't be a problem." Namjoon snorts but Hoseok looked serious.

"Fuck off, Hobi. I'm not sharing this time." He pushes back his sunglasses and Hoseok just nods.

They've had their fair share of threesomes but a poly relationship is just ridiculous.

"I just wanna know if the rummors are true." He finally sighs. "They say she's freak in bed and that she's gold standard, a female version of you. It was only when stupid Stacy insulted her clothes that she started showing off what she had and I was unlucky enough that you beat me to her." Namjoon scoffs again. "I'm cashing in the favor." Namjoon gets up and walks away from Hoseok.

He owed Hoseok a favor back when he had to coverup for Namjoon when his parents made a surprise visit while he had two women in bed.

"I know its a huge ask but if you could just ask YN." Hoseok chases after him.

"Ask YN what?" Your voice makes them freeze and turn to the side and awkwardly smile.

"Nothing, babe. Should we grab some coffee?" Hoseok glares. Namjoon's never called you babe and it shows at how your brow raised at him.

"Are you coming with?" You ask Hoseok which turns his glare into a grin.

He tags along your coffee date and Namjoon was having none of it. He blocked Hoseok off every chance he got.

When you were seated in a more secluded booth, Hoseok clears his throat.

"Don't." Namjoon speaks first but you frown and urge Hoseok to finish.

"I was just asking Namjoon..." Hoseok actually looked, nervous? "Well, you and I have been chatting for a while now."

"You have?" This is news to Namjoon, but he shouldn't care, right?

"Well anyways, I know you're not dating and now even exclusive, given that Namjoon was making out and eent to his room with Cass the other night." Namjoon's jaw cleanches.

"You have?" You threw back his question and all he could do was raise an eyebrow and so did you.

"Well, what I was saying—" Hoseok starts again.

"If you wanted to fuck, you could've just asked me." You finally spit. Pissed that Namjoon had his tongue down someone's throat while you were brushing off Hoseok. "No need to ask Namjoon." There was spite in your words. "Like you said, we aren't exclusive."

When your order was served you picked up your Americano and stood up.

"I'm going home to finish my thesis." You announce to the both of them. "Come by later?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

They both answered at the same time which ended in a glaring contest.

You shrug and leave, your heart was pounding at the though of Namjoon touching another woman, but its not like you were dating. All you do is fuck in different angles.

Maybe Hoseok will do you good. Even out the playing field, because right now, you feel betrayed.

"YN. Wait up." Hoseok was chasing behind you.

Namjoon on the other hand was left alone with his thoughts, he made the mistake with Cass at the party the other day because he was pissed that you chose to go out with Shayne than spend the night with him.

He hopes that if you fuck Hoseok, you'd realize the same thing he did when he fucked Cass who sounded like a dying whale. It's that nobody compares to what you two had.

Now Hoseok gets a taste of that, what if Hoseok does better than Namjoon did? Fuck. He needed a drink and its only noon.

He decides to head home for the rest of the day.

At dinner, Jin calls everyone for some steak that his dad dropped off earlier. Namjoon was last one out of his room.

"Where's Hoseok?" Jin asks and they all look at each other and shrugged.

Namjoon clenches his jaw and sighs. They look at him knowing he knew something.

"YN found out about Cass, Hoseok took his shot." Yoongi drops his fork on his plate while everyone else shook their heads.

Unlike your first encounter with Namjoon, Hoseok takes you out to dinner first and made sure people knew about it by posting it on his instagram.

The group sees the photo and nobody speaks. Everyone eats in silence.

"But why didn't you say anything?" Jin finally says what's on their minds. "When Hoseok exposed you, you could have apologized or even half assed deny it."

"You could've said 'she didn't mean anything, I didn't think, she was nothing compared to you' anything but you just sat there." Jimin was angrily eating his food. "How dumb can you be?"

"To be fair, they were just hooking up." Jungkook defends Namjoon and they all glare at him.

"Yeah, Kook's right. We were just hooking up." But he's grown an attachment, he couldn't even fuck Cass right. And it him who insisted on a condom since you're the only person he's fucked raw in the university.

You and Hoseok had a pretty good... Date? He did all the talking and you just nodded along, you don't even have the right to be hurt when he told you about Namjoon.

Maybe its best to direct your emotions elsewhere.

"Do you wanna come over?" You ask Hoseok as he was in the middle of explaining something.

Hoseok was too excited with the invite and immediately asked for the check. You've been having drinks all night and it was enough to dull your judgement.

You ask Hoseok to drive your car to your place, you lead him to your apartment.

"Tequila?" You ask him as he makes himself comfortable on your couch. He nods with a grin on his face.

You take out the tequila, some salt and you have some cut up lemons that Shayne keeps in your fridge.

You set the mood with some RnB music, you took one shot before heading towards Hoseok. You fill two shots and hand him his, you clink you glasses and take the shot.

"Now, tell me. Why me?" Hoseok leans back on the couch, his legs wide open. He told you about the rummors he's heard and assures you that none of it was from Namjoon. You'd figure that Namjoon kept you a secret. "If you're such a bigshot, why not go for all the other women who haven't slept with your friend?"

"Namjoon was just lucky he beat me to you." Hoseok takes another shot. "But when I saw him with Cass, I knew you weren't as serious as everyone makes you out to be."

You hum and decide to speed things up, you put some salt on your tongue and pick up the bottle then proceed to sit on Hoseok's lap. You pour some tequila in your mouth and put your lips on his, spitting the tequila mixed with the salt into him.

"Fuck that was hot." You notice the tequila drip down his neck and you decide to lap it up. "Fuckkkkkkk." He groans.

You take a swig at the tequila and stand up, you take his hand to drag him into the game room. He follows you like a lost puppy.

"Hoseok, do you trust me?" At this point Hoseok is off his rockers and just nods. "Good."

You take him into the room and push him on the bed, you pass him the bottle of tequila and he takes a good gulp beforr lying back down. You rid yourself of your shirt and so does he, following your every move until you're both naked.

You walk to the closet and open it just enough for you to reach in a grab what you needed.

"Close your eyes." You whisper and he obliges. You blindfold him.

He lets out a shaky breath and you smile, it's been a while since you had a sub. You reach from beneath the bed and cuff both his wrists on the upper bed posts.

"Fuck, I knew you were freaky." He chuckled but you didn't.

"You have no idea." You sit on his dick but not letting him in yet. "Your safe word, is Red, and if you need to rest, say Orange. Got that?" He nods. "Use your words."

"Yes." You're on fire for being dominant again. "Please touch me." Was all he could say before you start kissing him again.

You kissed his jawline, down his throat and start nipping at his skin. He flinches at every bite, when your lips reach his dick he started begging.

You take him in your mouth and he starts moaning, Asking you not to stop. You blow him for a couple more minutes until your jaw begins to hurt and you pull off him. His hands try to reach you but they can't.

You take out a condom from the drawer and roll it on him.

"Hey, Hoseok?" You ask coyly. He groans in response as you roll the condom down his shaft. "What do you think about a threesome, right now?"

You asked him the question because you're sure enough he won't satisfy you for tonight. You need Namjoon.

"I want you all to myself tonight. Please." You chuckle. "Please."

His dick was throbbing, it looked painful. You decide to ease him up by slowly descending on him.

"Holy Fuck. Let me see you." Scrape your nails down his chest and he hisses.

"Say please." You whisper and he follows your command.

The moment you take of the blindfold you start moving your hips, he throws his head back in pleasure. You start moaning but let's face it. He didn't stretch you like Namjoon did, you him to command you like Namjoon does but he just laid there and took what was given to him.

You unlock his cuffs and all he did was place his hands on your hips, no spanking, no grabbing, nothing.

Still, you rode him with your best. You had a reputation to keep up.

He takes it up an notch and flips you two over, not its getting interesting. He starts pounding into you with all he's got and you try to keep the proper facial expressions.

A couple of minutes later he starts cumming into the condom and you had to fake it.

Namjoon truly had ruined you for other men. Your mind was occupied with Namjoon and how he could've fucked you tonight.

Hoseok rolls off you and you get up to grab a robe and smoke in the balcony without saying a word.

He joins you after a couple of minutes, he was grinning like an idiot and you had to laugh.

"That was fun." You take a drag of your cifarette.

You were glad that Hoseok volunteers to leave and said he was meeting some friends at a club and even invited you but you said you're tired.

You take a shower to wash Hoseok's scent off you. You decide against your better judgement.

Namjoon was in his room, watching porn on his phone when your message popped up.

From YN: Make me cum.

That was a he needed to throw on a shirt and sprint to his car.

He didn't care if you decided to sleep with Hoseok, because you texted him in the middle of the night asking for help and that was enough for him to know that nobody would compare to him.

He already knows how to let himself into your home. He stops by the living room, noticing the to glasses on the table.

You did have someone over, and he knew it was Hoseok, one of the shot glasses was upside down it was a habit of his.

Namjoon takes off his shirt as he nears the game room, dropping it somewhere down the hall. The door was open, he saw the cuffs were used and the blind fold was there. But the asshole didn't even bother to properly throw the condom in the bin and and just left it on the floor.

He sees you, standing in your robe, another cigarette betweek your fingers staring out over the balcony. Why was he already hard? Damn it.

You were too deep in though to notice Namjoon's presence, but you didn't flinch when he grabs you by the hair and pulls you to his chest.

He takes a deep inhale, he loved the scent of your bodywash and was glad he didn't have to fuck you when you smelled like Hoseok. Although it would be satisfying to have him watch how to properly fuck you.

Namjoon bites your neck and you moan, that turned you on more than anything you did with Hoseok.

Namjoon bends you over, your hands on the bannister, you feel his dick on your ass. He runs a finger on your pussy but you were already wet from one bite.

"Please." Was all you had to say again before he rams himself inside you making you moan again.

Fuck this felt right for both you and Namjoon. He was pounding hard into you, your legs started to buckle when Namjoon smacks your ass making you lock your knees.

"Did he fuck you like this?" His voice hoarse.

"No, not—even—close." You said in between thrusts.

You were a moaning mess. Namjoon had used the cuffs on you as he fucked you senseless.

You've already cum twice since he arrived, and at that moment you knew that only Kim Namjoon could pleasure you like this.

He's been using more of your toys, right now, he's got your arms tied above your head while you ride him a gag in your mouth, yet you're so wet and so hungry for him.

"How about we make a call?" Namjoon asks. He's got your phone in his hand. "Hoseok would like to know how you're doing?" He shows you the message you just received. "Should we call him back here?" You shake your head. "How about a photo, showing him who owns you."

Just then your phone rings, you stop riding but that just earned you a big slap in the ass.

"He wants to facetime. How cute." You didn't protest when he answered the call and just followed his orders of you riding him.

"Namjoon?" Hoseok is confused. "Why do you have YN's phone?"

"Oh... Well YN can't come to the phone right now." He chuckles and bites his lip at your disheveled look. "I came to check in on her when you left, she looked a little sad so I thought I'd lift her mood."

Namjoon flips the camera to show you and how he hoists you above him. Hoseok's eyes go wide.

"Namjoon be gentle." Namjoon snorts.

"Oh Hoseok, she loves it. Don't you, baby?" He lowers you on his cock again and you moan and nod at the same time.

Your breathing was ragged, you hair is all over the place, drool dripping down your tits, its like something out of a porno.

Hoseok couldn't believe you were the same woman he fucked earlier. Hoseok abruptly ends the call.

"Oh. He didn't even say bye." Namjoon finally takes off the gag and spreads your saliva all over your lips. "You're mine." He whispers before kissing you deeply and thrusting in you.

A few more thrusts and you feel his cum fill you up. He unties you, your arms falling over his shoulders. He holds you like that for a while.

Once your breathing is back to normal, he picks you up and runs you a bath, he lowers you into the warm water and he joins behind you.

This is probably the most intimate, non-sexual thing you've both done. You sit in the water dragging your loofa slowly across your arms.

"YN." He whispers. "I'm sorry, I can't even make and excuse about Cass." He wraps his arms around your torso. "I know Hoseok was just revenge and I deserve that. Let's not do that again." He nuzzles his head on your neck, all you could do was nod.

It's not like you could do it again, by all means Hoseok was not horrible and if you had met him before Namjoon, you could've liked him. But like he said, he was unlucky that Namjoon got to you first.

----

After that night, Namjoon had his mind closed. He didn't even talk to other women, he was stuck to your side, he now even has clothes in your apartment. Other than fucking, he's taken you out on dates to museums, parks, even libraries because he knows how much you love to read.

You're now both pretty vocal about your relationship. Now nearing graduation, your parents calls you out of the blue, the day you dreaded has come.

"What if I say no?" You tell your mom.

"Just go on the date, YN, if it doesn't workout then we'll leave you alone." Your mother knew how you felt about how the rich set their kids up for marriage.

The thought of you with another man makes your stomach churn, you decide against telling Namjoon about tonight but all he said was he had plans too.

You pick out an 'okay' dress and makeup. With your cigarettes, phone, cash and cards in your purse you head to the venue.

A blind date, of your possible husband. You just have to sit through dinner tonight. Your mind drifts to Namjoon, you wonder what he does when you're not around.

Shayne says that what you two have is not healthy, he hurts you and you let him. But what he doesn't know is that after all the pain, he kisses them away. He doesn't boss you in public or even humiliate you in any way. Instead he adores you, he supports you, he shows you off at school events or even on social media now.

You wait for your date, you're early so you decide to sit by the balcony and asked the waiter if you can smoke. Hopefull, your date hates smokers so you can cut the short date and go home to Namjoon.

You stare out over the balcony, when a hand wraps around yours and takes your cigarette. You look up, as if the world is in slow motion. Namjoon smirks at you as he takes a drag.

"Namjoon..." He takes the seat across you.

"What do you say? Marry me?" Your breath gets knocked out of your chest.

You couldn't hold back your smile, you bit your lip and you both start giggling.

"For a second, I refused to go but my parents insisted. Just one dinner, and if sucks I can go." He gives you a warm smile. "Then I saw you."

You both decide to accept your parents' proposal of marriage but not so soon. You both wanted to start your careers first but knowing you'd see each other at the end of each tunnel is probably worth it.

At the end of the day, you can never resist Kim Namjoon.

-END-

Hope you guys enjoyed it.

#bts smut #bts fic #bts au fanfic #bts namjoon #bts rm #bts rm fanfic #bts college au #bts jhope #fanfic

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taes-kookie-blog · 3 months ago

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DATES WITH BTS

these days i’ve been daydreaming on what kind of date our boys would bring us on 🥹 i jinja miss them. pls enjoy dear~

JUNGKOOK

he’d call you late at night. you’d facetime for a bit, this is what your dates have been lately due to the military. things get a bit freaky a while into the facetime call, and jungkook loses it. “i cant kiss you through the phone.” he says. you laugh, thinking he’s making a soulja boy joke bc you’re listening to it. but he’s serious, and he’s getting all worked up… he bites his lip and leans closer to the camera… “i wanna see it.. in motion… in 3D.” upon hearing this you get up to strip for him but he hangs up. you receive a text from him; an address. you go to the address and it’s the military grounds, where he sneaks you in so you can do it in 3D. but then you get shot and you die :(

SUGA

it’s a friday night. due to suga’s busy schedule, you don’t see eachother much so you want to go a bit crazy and go to the club together. he’s wearing sunglasses and a cap to disguise, so everyone in the club thinks he’s weird. he drinks a lot due to stress and judgement. “yoongi.. slow down…” but he doesnt. he’s been drinking a lot more lately but you brushed it aside as you haven’t seen it; until now. glass after glass, shot after shot… he’s almost blackout by this point. he buys a bottled beer to go home with, so you wrap your arm around him to help him out. while waiting for your uber, you turn to see he isn’t there… that’s when you hear a load bang. you immediately run down the street towards the commotion. there he is, on the ground, a wound on his head. he drunkenly laughs and sits up, but the situation isn’t laughable. beside him is a scooter and a pram. a pram that fell over.

JIMIN

jimin’s ideal date with you would be a karaoke bar. he loves to tease you as you try your best to sing, and of course, he loves to sing too. but he’s banned from all the karaoke bars in seoul. you’re walking along together, moreso you’re being guided along by him after he told you he ‘knows a place.’ you reach a strange part of the city, where you’ve never been. there are a lot of buff shirtless men around. “this way babe.” he tugs on your hand towards a staircase leading underground, so you follow, confused. at first glance, the place is amazing and lively, a cool underground club, you figure it’s probably so hidden because it’s for celebrities only. but upon walking further into the club…. “jimin! what the fuck?! this is a gay bar!”

tae has always been reluctant about taking you out due to his dislike of PDA, and of course, the attention to his public image. you understand, dispatch can ruin careers after all. he calls you to come over, so you do. you reach the apartment and notice how foggy the windows are, is he cooking? you smile to yourself happily, smitten at the fact that beyond his stoic image, tae would cook for you. you walk in and immediately begin coughing. you stumble into the room, tripping over something on the floor. it’s hard to see through the smoke, steam, vapor..? what is this? but after crouching down and picking up what you tripped over, you can see it’s a vape. not just one, the whole floor is covered… emerging from the clouds, tae holds one out to you. “choof sesh?”

JIN

jin is usually a stay at home watch movies and snuggle type, so when you got the text asking you to come out with him, you were more than excited. you dress yourself up to look your best, and meet him outside. he compliments you which makes you blush, but then there’s an awkward silence. he waits, until you compliment him too. then you go, and arrive at a carnival. walking along together, getting cotton candy (he won’t eat it but at least he paid), playing games, going on rides… it’s so much fun. until you go into the hall of mirrors. at first it’s funny, seeing so many of your reflection, but of course it’d get boring after a while. “jin, let’s go!” but he doesn’t answer. he’s entranced by his reflection, and refuses to leave. good luck getting him out…

namjoon likes to make dates personal and meaningful. he wants to connect, not just through your bodies, but your mind and heart. when he told you he wants to show you where he grew up your heart was touched and you couldn’t wait. the car trip is fun, and eventually you pull up to a run down part of the city. checking your location on your phone, you knew this wasn’t where he grew up. “babe-“ before you can speak, he cuts you off, sighing and shaking his head and he drives slowly and looks melancholically out the window. “this is my hood.” you look at him in confusion, he seems totally lost in thought. he’s still driving, but you go to open the door to hint you wanna go and see it for yourself. before your hand reaches the handle he quickly grabs it. “don’t. it’s not safe out there…”

JHOPE

jhope had recently recovered from his emo phase so you could finally enjoy time with him, and you couldn’t wait. he invited you over. upon entering, he greeted you with excitement, wearing a cute apron and ushering you towards the kitchen to show the meal he prepared. you’re beyond surprised and excited, your heart warmed from this gesture. you sit at the kitchen counter as he continues cooking, the room filled with laughter and joy. he falls into conversation with you, his back facing the stove as you joyfully exchange conversation. until suddenly, a fire breaks out. he turns to face it, his expression unreadable as you scram to get the fire extinguisher. you run over but he silently holds a hand out, gesturing for you to stop. “what if.. what if…. what if i have no dream? no hope?” he mumbles, his expression still as he stares into the fire. “hoseok we need to put it ou-” he shushes you, still staring into the fire. “let it burn. let it all burn.”

i hope u enjoyed dears~ pls send requests

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haedalkoo · 3 months ago

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Hiii

First of all thank you so much for taking your time out and translating things for us to understand in a better context.

I am really curious how and when did you started supporting Jikook?? I mean if i talk about us International Army we sometimes don’t understand the context behind what they are saying for eg “Bike conversation” JK said “Romance” but he didn’t say it in a “romantic” way and we wouldn’t have known about it unless you wouldn’t have explained the context behind it. Sometimes we take their conversation in another direction as we don’t understand the context behind it… so i wanna know in AYS or even before have they talked with each other in a romantic or flirty way?? I mean we all sensed something between these two that’s why so many of us Believe in them and support them but i feel you understand them better as you can understand what they are speaking about or in which sense.. am really curious about it please enlighten us😃😃

This ask is soo cute!! Honestly, I started learning korean thanks to bts so by the time I was deep into jikook I was just learning the basics. It feels like a long time ago now lol 2018... ! But I adored their bond and, let's be honest, 2018 jikook were loud as hell. It was impossible not to love them.

But when I got better at korean, I did start realizing stuff that maybe my other jikooker friends missed at first glance. For me it's the way they speak to each other- their tone usually lowers and they sound really soft, or they add some aegyo at the end of their sentences. I'm thinking really hard of this 2019 live, when Jimin's teasing suddenly turns soft and he goes "I made my apology so may I go now?" and JK, in the quietest softest voice, says, "you may." I'm thinking of Jimin's 2021 birthday live. Honestly, there are a million examples. Plus, JK loves talking to Jimin in informal speech (banmal) since forever. Nowadays I think he's more grown and talks to all of them casually, but I noticed he's more careful or more 'polite' with the older hyungs (jin and namjoon mostly, we know he loves calling yoongi by his name pls), while with Jimin he allows himself the liberty of even scolding him. Not that JM seems to mind (in fact, he said it's his hobby... he finds JK so cute doesn't he.)

Oh, but as much as informal and soft they are, they're also too into roleplaying and speaking extra formally to each other. They did this a bunch in AYS, but also in the Vlive I just shared. They're so silly, but I think this is how they like to flirt... does anyone remember that tweet where they were facetiming in the same room? The caption was also in very formal speech!! If that's what they like... LOL (please send the tweet my way!)

Jungkook also calls Jimin pretty a lot. Pretty and cute. Jimin calls Jungkook cute every five minutes, but I think this is well known even for those who don't understand Korean.

I made a post about this already, but JK calls Jimin 'hyung' more than it seems. I'm reminded always of this 2021 content for the JPFC where JK's drawing Jimin and he says Jimin is really cute, but he doesn't forget that he's older than him.

Point is, anon, they flirt a lot. Or they joke around by flirting a lot. Did you see this moment in AYS where JK tells JM that he gave him butterflies? And then Jimin replies in formal speech, 'please let your heart flutter as much as you wish.' That's so quintessentially Jikook it made me giggle.

But I don't think I understand their dynamic any better than other jikookers! Their bond is special to us in many different and unique ways. Whatever it is that they share, it's really special, sweet and loving. They don't have a strict hyung-dongsaeng relationship and I think that's really charming, and it shows through their speech as well :)!

A blog I recommend to know more about this side of Kookmin is dalloga. She's Korean so she definitely can give you a bigger insight of this aspect of their dynamic and more detailed translations!! Her posts are golden.

Thank you for this sweet ask!!

#jikook #kookmin #anon ask #jikook and korean

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oddinary4bts · 11 months ago

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Sinful Lust | ch 5 (myg & jjk)

☆summary: On a rainy night in May, everything is bound to break. Hearts that once beat as one, now break in time with the tide. What will be left in the end?

☆pairing: bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi x female!reader x Jungkook

☆rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

☆genre: mostly angst, smut, snippets of life!au

☆warnings: mentions of what happened between Jungkook and OC in ch 4, cheating, cursing, momentary trip to the hospital, mentions of bullying and getting beaten up, mentions of alcoholic parent, mentions of domestic abuse, explicit content: protected sex in a semi-public environment, fingering, squirting, anal sex, car sex

☆word count: 8.3k

☆a/n: This one is really sad. We learn more about Jungkook's past, and we see everything crashing down. Please don't hate me for this :') Annnnd thank you @moonleeai as always for beta-ing this fic <3

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

May is rainy. You watch the world outside – it’s turned grey weeks ago, and the sun has yet to show up. Or at least it feels that way, and you’re slightly annoyed as you once again look out the window, only to be greeted by drops of water racing each other on the glass.

You don’t mind the rain. You never really did. But you don’t like feeling like you’re not doing anything, and the book you’ve been trying to read since you got home from work just isn’t cutting it.

Or maybe it’s the fact that Yoongi is once again going to be home late tonight. You don’t know what project he’s been working on – whenever you’ve asked questions about it, he was super evasive. But like clockwork, every night for three weeks Yoongi got home late after work, claiming that he is too tired to do anything with you.

You don’t blame him. He’s been working crazy hours, but you just miss his presence. Now, whenever you get to actually spend some time together he also invites Jungkook, and you feel like your relationship with Yoongi just isn’t what it used to be.

When you brought it up to him last week, he said that he was too tired to talk about it, and he kissed the side of your head before rolling to the other side of the bed. The dismissal was clear, and it’s been making you feel dreadful, like every breath you take is missing just a little bit of oxygen, making your lungs burn and heart beat harder in your chest as it tries to compensate.

You know what changed everything. You saw it in slow motion – that night you’d woken Yoongi up because of Jungkook. That same night you had fucked Yoongi on Facetime while Jungkook watched and guided the two of you.

Yoongi hasn’t looked at you the same way since then. You hate it, hate the distance that’s wedged itself between you and him, but you don’t know how to fix it.

No amount of cuddling or affection or loving words seem to be enough to bring Yoongi back from the place his mind wandered to when he saw what you and Jungkook had been texting about.

It was a mistake. You know it today, and you wish you could take it back.

Wish you could take the whole ordeal back.

But you can’t, and you’ve been trying to be better. To treat Yoongi better, to make sure you don’t overstep the boundaries, though you reckon that night you went flying over the line at the speed of light.

You sigh, leaning your head back against the couch. You’ve been trying to read your favourite book – the one Yoongi bought for you on your first date, annotated in the margins with all of his thoughts on it. But every time you see his handwriting, every time you read what he left behind, your heart just hurts a little more.

You’ve suggested calling off this whole thing with Jungkook. Yoongi laughed and said that he didn’t want to stop. It was strange to see him like that – like he isn’t the same man you once fell in love with anymore. But then again you reckon you haven’t been the same either.

How could you be the same after experiencing Jeon Jungkook?

Jungkook, too, has changed. He doesn’t smile with you as much as he used to, and sometimes you feel like he’s forcing himself. Like he doesn’t want to be there, but just like you and Yoongi, he doesn’t know how to stop.

It’s a mess. Everything is a mess, and you wish you’d know how to fix it.

But you don’t, and so you force your eyes to skim over the lines of the book, reading words that used to be familiar and now feel like excerpts from a different life.

*****

Yoongi likes the rain. It’s calm, soothing, and he feels like the world stops rushing when it’s under the clouds. Like he can sit back, relax and enjoy the coffee on the table in front of him. He’s ordered it black, and though it’s a little too warm, he still enjoys every single sip he takes of it.

Jimin isn’t here yet. But Yoongi doesn’t mind – he likes watching the droplets of water racing on the window. It keeps his thoughts busy, keeps them from running back to you and Jungkook and the night you fucking sexted with Jungkook while he was sleeping next to you.

His first thought had been to be mad at you, but then he’d figured he could twist this to his advantage. Because he knew you and Jungkook both felt guilty, and it now shows in the way you take care of him.

And maybe he is sick and twisted for enjoying the sex life like this, but he reckons he deserves it after you’ve cheated on him.

He’s aware he should confront you. Should tell you how it made him feel, even though you were quick to make sure Yoongi was involved too. The situation just broke some part of him, and he highly doubts it will ever be fixed. For now, he’s just content as he sits back and enjoys what’s left of the relationship before it goes up in flames.

He never knew he was such a petty person. Or maybe getting involved with Jeon Jungkook just brought out the worst of him. Which, he reckons, he should have expected. Because Jungkook has a tendency to do that to all of the relationships Yoongi has seen him involved in.

It’s no wonder he’s never had a girlfriend.

The bell by the doors of the café rings, and Yoongi knows it’s Jimin before he’s even looked towards the entrance. Maybe because he’s too aware of Jimin now – he’s been searching for the man in every room, every crowd, ever since that night that changed everything.

He has to confront you. He’s aware that lying about staying at work late isn’t all that better than what you did. But Jimin is like the rain – he’s soothing, calming, and maybe it helps with fixing the jagged pieces of Yoongi’s broken heart and trust, and he likes keeping that part of his life to himself.

At least for now.

Jimin’s smile is blinding when he sits in front of Yoongi. He’s got a tote bag, and he pulls two books out before he even says hello.

“I got us some reading for tonight,” Jimin finally says, and he shakes the water from his hair. And then the smile falls into the soft one that renders Yoongi unable to think as he says, “Thank you for the coffee.”

Because Yoongi memorized Jimin’s coffee order the first time they got coffee together. It came far too naturally to him – you’re the one he used to remember everything about so easily. But things have changed. You’ve been slipping down a slope, and he knows the end won’t be positive.

“Thank you for the book,” Yoongi says right as he takes the one Jimin offers him.

His blood turns to ice in his veins. He tries not to let it show on his face, even though he freezes right on the spot, as if he’s been suddenly sent straight to orbit with no atmosphere around him to keep his body warm anymore.

It’s the book he and you read on your first date, five years ago. He’d filled it with notes for you, and he knows you keep it in the first drawer of your night table, as if it’s a Bible you like to read to fall asleep every night.

“Something wrong?” Jimin gently asks, his smile slowly wavering until it disappears entirely.

“Sorry…” Yoongi apologizes, though he doesn’t really know what for.

He’s not entirely sure Jimin is the one he should be apologizing to right now.

“It’s just…” he adds when Jimin doesn’t say anything, looking confused. “That’s my girlfriend’s favourite book.”

Jimin looks alarmed. His eyes widen, and he tries to take the book back, though Yoongi holds onto it.

“I’m so sorry,” Jimin says. “I thought… my granddad said it was a good book, so I figured why not?”

“It really is,” Yoongi quickly replies, hoping it would bring back Jimin’s easy smile.

Jimin gulps, looking down at the copy he saved for himself. “Well…” He chuckles, and it’s a little awkward. “I guess we can say your girlfriend has good taste.”

There’s a deeper meaning behind Jimin’s words. Yoongi hears it right away, and something stirs in his chest. Blush creeps on his cheeks, and he tries to push it away, as far away as he can, but he finds he’s too weak to do so.

“She does.”

At that Jimin looks up to meet his gaze again. “Do you still want to read it, though? I know things haven’t been great with her…”

Yoongi has been confiding in Jimin. He hasn’t been able to speak to anyone from his group of friends, mostly because all of them are friends with Jungkook too. They don’t know about what’s been going on, and Yoongi doesn’t want to tell them either.

Though he thinks Namjoon might know, even if he’s never said anything about it.

So he’s been confiding in Jimin instead. Every night that they meet for coffee, or those that Yoongi goes to help at Seojun’s bookstore. It’s been like therapy for him, though he reckons Jimin might not be the person he should be confiding in.

Not when the crush he has for the man feels a little too real.

Another thought that he pushes away, or tries to. He’s not sure that it works, but it does chase Jungkook and you out of his thoughts.

“We can read it if you want,” he tells Jimin. “I promise it’s worth the read.”

Jimin offers him a careful smile. “Sounds good.” He pauses, cheeks tinting with pink as he looks down at the coffee Yoongi got for him. “Next time I’ll let you choose the book.”

*****

Jungkook shifts, keeping his features cool and composed as the shutter of the camera goes off. He tilts his head to the side for the next picture, then looks away. He’s been at it for what feels like hours now, and he frankly can’t wait to be done.

Though the work has been a well-deserved reprieve from his churning thoughts.

He moves into another pose, staring down the camera with a slight frown on his features, head tilted back. The camera shutter goes off again, and he’s about to move into another position when the director yells, “Cut!”

Jungkook breaks into a smile, though he doesn’t really know why. Maybe because he actually likes this – the posing, the modelling, feeling as if he’s the shit for a moment.

It helps him forget that you are Yoongi’s, and not his.

Jungkook walks away from where they were shooting, and the fashion designer that chose the outfits for the day approaches him, a smile on her lips.

A pretty smile that matches her equally pretty features. Boring though – they’re lacking something that he can’t quite put a finger on.

“You did great,” she compliments him as they near a table with snacks and water bottles for the staff.

Jungkook grabs a water bottle, opening it and taking a long, refreshing sip. “It was all you,” he flirts back, though he wasn’t quite sure she was flirting to begin with.

When he notices her features turning a light shade of pink, he knows he hit his mark.

“Please,” she says, scoffing as she shakes her head in a self-deprecating manner. “I barely did anything.”

He smirks. “Give yourself some credit, you did a good job.”

She wets her lips, the tint on her cheeks darkening. “Well then, thank you.”

There’s a silence as he drinks some more, and she grabs a quarter of an egg sandwich that she bites in with her head turned away from him. He imitates her, grabbing some for himself, only then realizing that he’s famished.

So he eats his fill with her next to him, in a silence that ought to be uncomfortable but isn’t quite so. And maybe it’s the way she eyes him, like he’s the dessert, that leads him to suggest heading somewhere quiet.

He sees the debate, the conflict in her eyes, because clearly this would be unprofessional. And she’s pretty, wearing a fashionable outfit that looks like she belongs in a lawyer office more than on a photoshoot. It hugs her frame right, and when she turns he gets a good look at her ass, at how the fabric stretches on her…

And he feels his dick slowly hardening.

“If we get caught, I’ll lose my job,” she answers, voice low as her gaze falls to the floor as if she’s ashamed.

As if she didn’t approach him for this in the first place.

“Then you’ll have to keep silent, mmh?” Jungkook fires back, voice low and sultry.

He sees the instant she folds. It’s in the way she bites her lips, and somehow the gesture is too familiar, sending a pang through his heart as you take over his thoughts.

Yet he follows the woman, watching her ponytail swing left and right with every step she takes. She leads him to an unused dressing room, and he catches sight of the rainy world outside as she locks the door behind them.

A rainy world, to match the rainy thoughts that have been clouding him.

She takes a step towards him, and though he’s faced away from her, she touches him, hand moving shyly on his back. He’s not sure he likes the shyness – he prefers your confidence, the way you touch him like he’s yours.

And maybe he is. Maybe he’s been for a lot longer than he’ll ever admit to anyone.

He turns around, forcing his lips into what he hopes is a lustful smirk. Eyes slightly narrowed, he looks down at the girl, and he realizes he doesn’t even remember her name.

He doesn’t care. He still crashes his lips on hers, pushing her back until she hits the door. And a moment later they are naked from the waist down, and her legs are around him as he pounds into her, her fingers digging in his shoulders as she lets out breathy sounds.

She feels good. He can’t deny it – her pussy squeezes his dick just right. But once again there’s just something lacking, and frustration slowly takes over him until he carries her to a desk, so that he can put her down and fuck her harder, trying to get rid of the frustration.

But it never goes away. No matter who he fucks, the frustration clings to him like a second skin, like he’s been cursed and will forever be haunted.

So he fucks the girl, holds her waist possessively even though he doesn’t give a shit about her. His eyes trail to the world outside – the raindrops are rolling on the window, partaking in a race he’s never understood.

He doesn’t mind the rain. Prefers cloudy or sunny weather over it, only because it makes riding his bike more fun, but he doesn’t mind the rain. He just feels as if the world goes too slow when it’s raining, as if his thoughts are one second away from catching up to him.

They always are. Always are far too close for comfort, as if he’s about to lose the race. And he knows he is – he feels how everything has been shifting between you and Yoongi. It all changed that night you and he sexted while Yoongi was asleep. Yoongi has been more demanding, colder, and Jungkook can tell that Yoongi’s detaching himself from the situation. Perhaps as a coping mechanism, so that he won’t feel the emotions.

Jungkook envies his friend for being able to do so, as his own emotions have been choking him. Until he can barely breathe, until he doesn’t even feel the girl as she squirms under him.

He doesn’t come. He gets bored before he does, pulling out so that he can finger her instead, mechanically. He does it until she comes, until she squirts all over the floor, and then he tells her he has to go. Tells her thank you, and tells her that he’ll reach out to hang out again soon.

He won’t. It’s just something he found helps with ghosting in general. Which, he knows he’ll ghost her.

He’s ghosted everyone that got close to him after he’s started fucking you and Yoongi. Because no one ever compares to you, and he frankly doesn’t even want to find someone else.

He leaves the girl behind, leaves that dressing room to find his, where he takes a quick shower before changing into his own clothes. He grabs his motorcycle helmet, curses the rain as a few minutes later he’s rolling on the streets.

And when he’s home, he immediately uncorks his whiskey bottle, pouring himself a large glass that he drinks watching the rain outside, wondering why is it that he got attached to the only thing he’ll never have.

*****

It’s almost midnight when you realize that Yoongi might not be coming back home tonight. You texted him twice in the evening, and though your messages were delivered he still hasn’t read them.

You know he never checks his phone when he’s at work, but you highly doubt he’s still at work at this hour. And though you’re wearing one of his shirts, he’s never felt as much of a stranger as he does right now.

You try to forget it by looking at pictures of moments passed, of days and nights with him years ago when you believed he was the love of your life.

And though you still believe he is, you’re realizing that he doesn’t feel the same about you anymore. That somewhere between that first night with Jungkook and today, Yoongi changed.

You’re not stupid. You know exactly what caused the change, and you can’t help but hate yourself for it. To hate Jungkook, to hate Yoongi, for accepting to get involved with Jungkook. You should have known better – should have chosen someone you didn’t know.

Fear takes a hold of your heart, and you sit up in bed.

Is Yoongi with Jungkook, doing to you what you did to him weeks ago?

It hurts. You reckon it hurts and it’s hard to breathe, but then again you could never be mad at him for doing something with Jungkook without you being there. You think it’d be normal that the two friends got closer after having fucked – you yourself got a lot closer to Jungkook. But the thought still makes your blood feel like liquid acid, burning up your insides until you force yourself to grab your phone.

You go to your text messages as you worry at your bottom lip, pulling at the bit of dry skin you find there. Even through the anxiety that’s slowly taking hold of you, you make a mental note to do a lip mask soon, to help with the dryness.

It’s the only normal thought you are bound to have tonight, isn’t it? Because you immediately text Jungkook, asking if he knows where Yoongi is. And through a blurry vision you wait for his reply, your teeth now nibbling at your nails in an anxious manner you thought you’d gotten rid of years ago.

To your surprise, Jungkook replies in under five minutes.

[00:07 am] Jungkook: no clue [00:08 am] Jungkook: is something wrong

You don’t know how to answer. You think everything went wrong a while ago. You think Yoongi is sand slipping through your fingers, or perhaps he’s turned into the void between the stars where there used to be light. You think that though spring is reigning over the world outside, winter has found the land of your soul, and you’re not sure it’s ever going to leave.

[00:09 am] You: idk… [00:09 am] You: he said he’d be at work until late tonight but it’s past midnight… [00:10 am] You: he’s just an accountant, wtf would an accountant do at work so late at night

Jungkook’s reply takes a while to come in. As if he too needed to take a moment to analyze the situation, to face the gravity of it. Or you’re the only one that feels like the ground has slipped beneath your feet, and you’re about to go over the edge of the cliff.

[00:16 am] Jungkook: I can pick you up and we can go see if his car is at his job

Your eyes slide to the world outside. You haven’t pulled the curtains shut before lying in bed, as if you’d see Yoongi coming home this way even though you live on the upper levels of the building. But you do notice that rain seems to have given way to fog, though it isn’t thick enough to make driving in the night dangerous.

But would it be a good idea? To go chasing the night searching for Yoongi?

And then an entire other scenario takes a hold of you. Steals the breath from your lungs, makes your whole body hurt as if you’ve been set on fire.

What if he’s hurt? What if he got in a car crash on his way home, and he never made it?

What if he’s lying somewhere in a ditch, just waiting to be found?

You don’t fight the tears. Don’t fight a single one of them as they come pouring, just like the rain earlier today.

[00:18 am] You: would you mind?

Jungkook’s reply comes right away this time around.

[00:18 am] Jungkook: ofc not, I’ll be there in 20

So you get dressed, putting on a pair of black sweatpants along with a thick long-sleeved sweater. You stand by the door as you wait for Jungkook to arrive, almost hoping that Yoongi will be the one to cross the threshold first.

As you wait, you watch yourself in the mirror. You look distressed – eyes bloodshot from the tears that keep coming and going, dark bags under your gaze from the lack of sleep. Because of course you haven’t been sleeping well.

How could you sleep well when you’ve been feeling the love of your life slipping through your fingers?

Jungkook gets here faster than twenty minutes. You don’t want to ask how fast he was driving, especially not as his first reaction when you open the door is to pull you to his chest, holding you tight against him. Your tears free fall again, and you grab a hold of his jacket in your fists, clenching them on the fabric so hard you think it might rip. If Jungkook cares he doesn’t say it, instead lowering his head to rest his cheek on the top of your head.

“I’m sure he’s okay,” he tells you, voice velvety soft in its reassurance. “He’s okay.”

That second sentence feels like it was uttered more for Jungkook than for you. You reckon Jungkook does care for Yoongi. Probably more than as a friend, now that he’s been sleeping with you both.

“He has to be,” you reply, lips trembling.

Jungkook holds you tighter and he turns until his lips softly land a kiss to the side of your head. In the heaviness of the moment, it grounds you, and you pull away just enough to look at Jungkook.

His big eyes meet yours, and you wish you could read him. Though you think you’re starting to be able to, and you don’t want to see what’s in his eyes. So you take a step back, and he sucks on his piercing, before nodding once.

“I brought an extra helmet for you,” he says, and he hands it to you.

You look at it as if it’s a foreign thing to you. And it is – you’ve never ridden a bike before.

“You came with your bike?” you ask, carefully drying the tears that slipped on your cheeks.

He nods. “I do have a car but it’s at the repair shop right now.”

You let out a noncommittal sound as you grab the helmet, testing the weight in your hands, wondering what it’ll feel like on your head. Jungkook watches as you do so, still toying with his piercing mindlessly.

“Ready?”

You take a deep breath, pushing away the image of Yoongi dead in a ditch from your mind, before nodding your head.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

*****

Yoongi didn’t see the time fly. When the café owner told him and Jimin that they were closing for the night, Yoongi’s gaze had widened. He’d been so into the book, rereading it for the first time in years, that he really hadn’t seen the time fly.

But he doesn’t really mind. He should, he knows he should, but Jimin is great company, so he doesn’t. He walks behind Jimin outside, avoiding puddles left over by the rain earlier. The rain has ceased now, but the world smells of it still, and the pavement reflects the orange glow of the streetlights as if it’s a mirror.

“Good thing it’s not raining anymore,” Jimin comments, looking over his shoulder at Yoongi.

Yoongi cocks an eyebrow. “You don’t like the rain?”

“I do,” Jimin answers as he turns back to look where he’s going. “But I don’t like driving in the rain, you know?”

Yoongi mindlessly walks a little faster until he’s able to walk side by side with Jimin, and his cheeks burn as their hands brush against each other. He pretends nothing happened, and so does Jimin.

And even though his heart is thundering in his chest, Yoongi says, “Yeah, driving in the rain does suck.”

“Don’t take me wrong though,” Jimin adds quickly. “It was all worth it tonight.”

Yoongi gulps. “It was?”

There’s silence, and Yoongi thinks about you for a time. He wonders if you’re waiting for him. He’s seen your texts, and maybe he’s an asshole for not replying, but he feels like something changed today.

Or maybe something broke, he’s not sure. He just knows that he can’t bring himself to answer you, and he also doesn’t want to go home right now. It does make him sad, for a fraction of a second. Because once upon a time you meant the world to him. You just don’t anymore.

“I like spending time with you, Yoongi,” Jimin says, voice soft, as he brushes his hand against Yoongi’s again.

Yoongi instinctively pulls his hand away, yet he still answers, “Me too.”

It’s the truth. He does enjoy every second he spends with Jimin. Perhaps because Jimin is easy, easier than you. Easier than this whole mess that is Jungkook and you and the threesomes.

Jimin stops, and Yoongi follows suit a step ahead. He turns around to look at Jimin, and the slightly pained expression on Jimin’s features feels like his heart has been stabbed, and he almost instinctively rubs at his chest, over the spot that aches.

“Why are you staying with her?” Jimin asks.

Why? Why indeed. Yoongi doesn’t even know – maybe he’s just too bad with confrontation. Maybe he doesn’t want to break your heart – though he knows Jungkook would be quick to fix it. Maybe it’s the familiarity of his life with you that’s keeping him from doing it. Maybe it’s the fear of losing something that was once great.

He really doesn’t know.

And as he stands there, holding Jimin’s gaze, Yoongi realizes something. Something he probably has known for a while, but refused to acknowledge. He’s stopped loving you a long time ago. Because you’re not the one that he loves anymore.

No, that person is Jimin.

Even though it breaks him, Yoongi closes the space between him and Jimin, grabbing the younger man’s cheeks softly as he presses his lips on Jimin’s.

Jimin is quick to kiss him back, to sigh against Yoongi’s mouth as he takes even a step closer. Jimin’s hands grab at the lapels of Yoongi’s coat, pulling him flush against him. Yoongi wonders if Jimin can feel the wild beats of his heart in his chest, where his fists rest against him.

When Jimin sighs again, Yoongi slips his tongue between his plump lips, and this time Jimin lets out a breathy sound that electrifies Yoongi as if he’s been hit by lightning.

He doesn’t think about you then. Doesn’t think about Jungkook either. All there is in the land of his mind is Jimin, and Jimin’s kiss is healing.

Jimin’s presence in his life has been healing since the very first day Yoongi saw him.

“Come home with me tonight,” Jimin breathes when they pull away.

Yoongi rests his forehead against Jimin’s, still gently cupping the man’s cheeks. “I can’t.”

Jimin doesn’t say anything for a moment, just keeps holding on to Yoongi. And Yoongi wishes the moment could stop – he feels the guilt slowly creeping in on him.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Because he wanted to. Yet Yoongi can’t bring himself to tell Jimin. Not when he thinks of you at home, waiting for him, not knowing that he’s been out at night falling in love with someone else for weeks now.

“I need to go home…”

Jimin bristles, and he steps away from Yoongi. He looks hurt, and rightfully so. Though Yoongi doubts Jimin’s pain even comes close to what you’ll feel when he’ll tell you what happened.

If he tells you.

“Alright then,” Jimin says, and there’s bitterness in his tone. In the way he furrows his brows, features turning harsh, cold. “Go home to her.”

It occurs to Yoongi that Jimin has probably been jealous of you for a while now. Has probably wanted Yoongi for longer than Yoongi has even wanted him.

Would he be a fool to let him slip away?

Would it change anything if he kissed Jimin again?

He tells himself he’s just trying to smooth the lines between Jimin’s brows when he does so. When he pulls Jimin flush against him, and their teeth collide as they kiss languidly. Jimin tastes sweet, even as the taste of coffee lingers in his mouth. It’s not as bitter as it should be – not when Jimin kisses so damn well.

So Yoongi lets himself forget about you for a time. Lets the part of him that’s been aching since that night you and Jungkook sexted take control. Maybe he’s trying to get revenge. Maybe he’s trying to hurt you like you hurt him. He doesn’t know.

Maybe he’s just stupid – he could have broken up with you before getting together with Jimin. But he thinks he’s made his decision weeks ago now, that first time he hung out with Jimin saying that he was staying at work late.

So when Jimin once again asks Yoongi to come home with him, he says yes. He follows Jimin to his car, though they only make it to the backseat. And as Jimin rides his cock, moaning as his fingers dig into Yoongi’s shoulders, rain starts again, drowning out the sounds of their passion.

*****

Yoongi’s car wasn’t in the parking lot of his job. Jungkook refused to tell you what he thought was going on. Not as you started crying again, and asked if he could drive you to the nearest hospital. Because the second Jungkook saw that Yoongi’s car wasn’t there, and you admitted that Yoongi had been coming home later and later every day, Jungkook knew that Yoongi has been cheating on you.

So Jungkook agreed to drive you to the nearest hospital, and you’re halfway there now. Your arms are wrapped around his waist, and you’re a comforting warmth behind him. He wishes he could stop your heart from breaking, wishes he could take the pain away so that you wouldn’t have to experience it at all.

Fuck, even he is hurting. Because Yoongi and you ending means you and him will end too, and he doesn’t think he’s ready to let that go. So when they tell you that they don’t have anyone under the name of Min Yoongi at that first hospital, and you ask to go to another one, Jungkook drives you.

He tries to enjoy your closeness as much as he can, even as rain starts again, though it’s barely even pouring. He drives carefully, slower than he usually does on his bike. And when your arms tighten around him, he hopes you can’t feel his heart breaking in his chest.

You don’t declare yourself defeated until after the fourth hospital. Jungkook waits with you in the lobby as you sit on a bench, head hanging low. You’re not crying, but he can almost hear your thoughts where he’s standing next to you.

They’re even louder when he sits next to you, and you shift infinitesimally closer to him, as if you need his support.

Voice small, you say, “What if he was kidnapped?”

And Jungkook reckons maybe you’re refusing to face the truth. Like a coping mechanism – you’d rather paint Yoongi in a thousand different perspectives instead of one where he’d cheat on you. It shows Jungkook just how much you love your boyfriend, and for a moment he’s struck dumb, wishing that that night five years ago he’d been the one to approach you at the bar.

Even if you had clearly declined giving your number to him. He doesn’t know if you remember, and he’s pretty sure now is not the right time to ask.

“Maybe he’ll answer me,” Jungkook carefully says, and he feels stupid for not texting or calling Yoongi before.

And so he grabs his phone as you watch him, hope etched on your features. He feels like he’s a monster, like he’s about to take your heart and throw it to the rocks at the foot of the metaphorical cliff you’re standing on.

Because he sees it. He sees the pain in your features, sees the way you’re holding onto one last thread. He doesn’t want to be the one to cut it, but then again he’d be there to catch you.

He’s been waiting to catch you. It’s selfish, terribly so, and he looks away from you to call Yoongi.

Yoongi picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?” he lets out, sounding a little breathless.

You freeze. You freeze, unblinking, as if you were on a screen and Jungkook pressed pause.

“Hey, hyung?” Jungkook says.

There’s some mumbling on the other side of the line, all the confirmation that he needs to know Yoongi is indeed cheating on you.

“Why are you calling?” Yoongi asks, and he sounds annoyed.

Jungkook hates himself for what he says next. “Are you okay? Y/n is worried about you.”

There’s a pause on the other side of the line. As if Yoongi is holding his breath, as perhaps he’s faced with the consequences of what he’s doing.

“Yeah, everything is okay. You can tell her I’m heading home.”

Jungkook nods, still not looking at you. He’s not ready to face the destruction head on. “Okay, I’ll let her know.”

And then Yoongi is hanging up, not saying anything else. Jungkook doesn’t move, sitting in silence in the artificial light of that hospital lobby, watching people in scrubs and casual clothing walking around as if the world has not just stopped for you next to him.

“He must have been at work, then,” you murmur. “Maybe we just didn’t see his car.”

Jungkook hears his heart shattering on the tiles of the floor at the innocence in your voice. He says your name like you’re a fragile porcelain, like his hands are too clumsy to ever dare to hold you.

“Please,” is all you say.

He understands. So he asks, “Do you want to head home?”

“No.”

He nods, and he finally looks at you. Finally looks at your pale features, and the utter lack of feeling in your eyes. It hits so hard he thinks he gets a concussion from it, and he watches you, mind spinning in pain and sadness.

And though he wants to apologize, wants to say that it’s all his fault, all he manages to say is, “There’s a place I go to when I need to think. Do you want me to take you there?”

You meet his gaze, and he realizes you weren’t focusing on him before. Because now that you do he feels as if a train just ran into him, and he wishes he wouldn’t be able to feel. Yet he feels – feels for you and your broken heart. For Yoongi, who sacrificed you, and for what?

“Sure,” is all you reply.

So even if it’s raining, Jungkook starts driving you to that place where he went to weeks ago, where the sky meets the ocean and he can just stop thinking for a moment. He makes sure you hold him tight, though when the rain doubles up you’re forced to stop under a bridge, the last one before you’ll exit the city proper.

You climb down from his bike, and Jungkook watches you as you stand to the side. You don’t remove the helmet, as if it’s shelter for your broken eyes, and he doesn’t force you to. He removes his, puts it on the seat and then stands closer to you.

He just now realizes that your clothes aren’t made to ride in the rain. So he removes his jacket, handing it to you.

“Put this on, you’re going to catch a cold.”

You don’t move, and so Jungkook walks behind you, gently draping it over you. He shivers as he moves back in front of you, and he watches the reflections of the streetlights in the visor of your helmet as you just stand there, entirely motionless.

“We’ll keep going as soon as the rain stops,” he tells you. He grabs his phone from his pocket, going to the weather app. “Which should be in about twenty minutes.”

At that you turn towards the pillar of the bridge, and then make your way to it so that you can sit with your back to it. There’s something so defeated in the gesture that convinces Jungkook to make his way to you, sitting next to you even though he reckons it probably is unsanitary.

He can always wash the clothes later. He’s not sure he can afford to wait to keep you from breaking so thoroughly that no amount of fixing would bring you back.

“When I was a kid,” Jungkook starts, not knowing where to go, “I got bullied a lot.”

You don’t react, and he’s not sure if you’re listening. He just needs to fill the silence with truth, and so he decides to give you a piece of himself he’s never given to anyone before.

“Like a lot,” he continues. “It got to a point where older kids would beat me up. And my parents didn’t really want to do anything because they wanted me to fit in. But one day my father told me to punch them back.”

He remembers everything with vivid clarity. He remembers being nine years old, terrified to go to school because he wasn’t sure he’d survive the day. He remembers the stitches he’d needed on his cheek when they’d punch so hard it cut his skin open. He remembers the taste of the blood in his mouth when his lip split with the force of the punches. He remembers everything in such vivid clarity that he feels as if he’s been taken back then.

“And so I did,” he adds. “I punched back, and I quickly realized that I was good at it. So I started boxing.” He pauses, looking towards you. “But I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to paint, or maybe to sing. I’ve always loved singing.”

At that you do move. You take off the helmet, and the sight of your bloodshot eyes as tears roll freely on your cheeks makes him want to reach out, to hold you.

But he doesn’t dare do it, doesn’t want to take advantage of you.

“I’ve never heard you sing,” you say, voice raucous from crying.

He shrugs. “I don’t sing in front of people.”

You nod, and then fall into silence as you just look to the side. Jungkook looks in the same direction, watching the rain fall on and on, endlessly. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to let up anytime soon, so he figures he needs to say something else, to find something that might take the pain away from your eyes. And so he thinks about the rest of the story, thinks about what he left out from what he just told you.

“My dad was an alcoholic,” he admits, and your face turns towards him so fast he wouldn’t be surprised if you got whiplashed. “He beat my mom whenever he got too drunk. Never once touched me or my brother. But when I was old enough, when I finally knew how to fight, I protected her.”

What you do then entirely undoes Jungkook. He feels raw, like everything inside of him opens up, and he’s just left with this downpour of emotions, something that matches the rain beyond the bridge, this safe haven he’s found with you.

You put your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him. To hold him, to keep him from breaking. Or at least that’s what it feels like.

It feels like you’re his salvation, and he knows you’ve always been anyway.

“He beat me so hard I ended up in the hospital,” Jungkook continues. “We fled the day I got out. My mom, my brother and I. We never once looked back.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur.

He shrugs. “Please don’t be. I’m okay now.”

You don’t answer anything to that, just hold him tighter. And Jungkook watches the rain, listens to the soothing sound of it, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. He doesn’t know why he chose this moment to reveal his demons to you – why he chose to make this about him. He feels horrible for it, but when you look at him next, he wonders if maybe you needed to hear something of the sort.

Needed to know that though there are horrors in this world, one can always make it out of it if they keep pushing on.

“You’re a beautiful person, inside,” you tell him. “I should have realized before.”

The lump in his throat grows too big for him to swallow it, and a tear rolls down his cheek. You dry it with infinite softness, and then you share a look. It seems to last an eternity, but you eventually glance away, and he thinks he’s forgotten how to breathe.

“Looks like the rain has stopped,” you say as your gaze stops on the street beyond the bridge.

Jungkook snaps out of the moment, looking in the same direction. “Seems so.”

His voice is rough, raw and filled with emotions he never expected he’d face with you. Yet he did, and he’s not afraid. He just hopes he can bring you comfort tonight, so that you aren’t afraid, too. So that you know that, even though the next few days are going to be hell, you don’t have to face them alone.

“Where is that place you wanted to show me?”

He smiles through the emotions, through the pain and the fear and the memory of what you and Yoongi are – were. Of what he and Yoongi are. Of what they will be when you’ll eventually go home to Yoongi. Though he doesn’t think you’ll really go home to Yoongi. After what Yoongi’s done…

The fear doubles up, freezes up his blood. Because what if he’s the one you leave behind? What if you forgive Yoongi, and Yoongi forgives you? He knows you both love each other. Or at least he knows you love Yoongi.

Will you even break up with Yoongi?

And even if you don’t, does he want to leave you alone tonight?

He chooses not to, getting up and offering you a hand. You take it, and he pulls you to your feet. Holds your gaze as you stand right in front of him, not letting go of his hand. He looks at your lips, remembering kissing you. Remembering every searing kiss, every embrace he’s hoped meant more.

Did they mean anything to you? Only time will tell.

You step back, letting go of his hand, and take off his jacket so that he can put it back on. He wants to refuse, but you’re adamant. So he gives in, puts it back on, and then you’re back on the road, heading to the ocean. Jungkook didn’t realize how much time passed until you get to the spot overlooking the sea, and the horizon is slightly lighter than the sky overhead.

You stand by the ocean, wind whipping at your hair, but the rain is entirely gone now. The air is warmer than one would expect for a late night or early morning of May, though the ocean mist is freezing. You don’t seem like you care: you stand by the water, watching the waves hit the rock as if you’re a queen overlooking her subjects.

And Jungkook watches you, unable to tear his gaze away from you, until you start crying again. But you cry in silence, don’t let the sobs shake you, as you stare at the horizon. As you watch the sun as it slowly rises, painting the clouds in liquid gold. You watch the beauty of nature, while Jungkook watches yours, wondering if this is one of his last moments with you.

He’ll let you go if that’s what you want. If, in the end, you and Yoongi choose each other.

So he watches your features, watches you break, watches you compose yourself until the clouds are no longer gold, and you ask him to go home. He doesn’t know what you’re thinking of, only that he feels like the clock is about to hit its last second, and he wants to hold on.

But he’ll let you go.

*****

You watch the sunrise from that cliff over the ocean, listening to the waves crashing against the rocks. You understand why Jungkook brought you here – there’s some sort of serenity in the air, like your life is inconsequential.

Like breaking and healing and breaking again are just part of the cycle of nature, of life. Like the sunrise – it doesn’t stop. Every day it comes back, a promise that no pain can last forever. So you embrace the pain. Let it tear at you. You’d expected to break in screams and yells and sobs and curses, but you break in tears, silently rolling down your cheeks. You break in watching the sunrise, peacefully, just an astral body fully unaware of your woes.

And you also break for the man next to you. Who offered you a piece of his soul tonight, so that you wouldn’t be alone. Though his pain is different, older, there’s some sort of comfort in knowing that you alone don’t hold the weight of the universe.

And as you watch the sunrise, you realize that everyone suffers. That the human experience stems from suffering, as it’s the only way you can also know happiness. The only way you can taste the salt on the wind and think ‘Shit, I’m alive’.

The world is beautiful. And though going home will be hell, though facing Yoongi will be hell, you remind yourself that you’re alive. You prepare yourself for the ride home, breathing in the sun and the wind and the ocean. When you’re ready, you turn towards Jungkook, and ask him to bring you home.

He looks troubled, but perhaps he notices the serenity on your features. Perhaps he’s too felt the soothing balm of the sunrise, of endings and new beginnings. Because he brings you home, his bike purring under you as it eats miles and miles to the city, and then some more to your home.

Jungkook drops you off outside, and you give him back the helmet you’ve been using all night. He takes it, putting it safely under the seat. You watch him do so, and ache fills your heart once he climbs back on his bike.

He looks at you, and your gazes connect through his open visor.

“Thank you for tonight,” you tell him.

You think he gulps, but you’re starting to be a little too tired to interpret him. “Of course,” he says. He adds your name, before continuing, “I didn’t want you to be alone.”

You smile at him, though you reckon it’s etched in sadness. Etched in heaviness. You wonder if his heart shares the burden, if he feels just like you do. And you wonder if he too has been breaking all night.

“Thank you,” you repeat.

He nods, and you watch him blink a few times. You’re fully aware he’s blinking back tears, yet you don’t do anything. Just watch him.

“If you need me, I’m just a call away,” he says.

You can’t say anything. Because you don’t think you’d be able to be with him, to find comfort in him. Not when he might have been the catalyst to this whole shitshow. So all you do is nod, and he looks at you for a moment longer until he finally decides to go.

He pulls down his visor, turning towards the street. And then he’s gone.

As you watch him go, farewells hanging in the air, you tuck him into a corner of your heart. Somewhere safe, somewhere nothing ever happened between you and him. Somewhere untainted, pure, and then you whisper, looking at where he disappeared, “Goodbye, Jungkook.”

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:((((( gosh this one is so sad :') (it might only get worse from here). What did we think? Did we like it? Let me know!

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#sinful lust ch 5 #yoongi smut #yoongi angst #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #yoongi x reader #jungkook x reader #yoonkook x reader #yoongi x you #jungkook x you #yoonkook x you #sinful lust #sinful lust series #btswritersclub #yoongi #jungkook #yoongi fic #jungkook fic

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