#bruhh they keep getting longer

[olivianyx]

how to fulfil?

Hi! I recommend you reading this post! You can use your imagination or visualize if you're comfortable with it, or go with affirming if that's your thing or use subliminals if you think will work. All you have to do is, keep looping until you feel that 'I don't need to affirm/visualize/listen to subs if I already have it' or 'fuck it, why would I be stressing abt something if I already have this' or 'bruhh it's finished already' (actually this is what I'd feel lol) or you're no longer desiring this, you'll be no longer in lack. Btw, you yourself will be assuming what should be done to fulfill yourself. If you assume that the 10k challenge will be able to fulfill you and get your desire, then go for it. Or if you're like me, put on a subliminal or music and start daydreaming and visualising and feel the wish fulfilled, you can gladly go for it too. OVERALL ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS TO GET RID OF THE LACK AND IGNORE THE 3D FOR FUCK'S SAKE. JUST BE FULFILLED INTERNALLY AND THE OUTER WORLD WOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF! lots of love ❣️

[marigoldsandbuttercups]

The Guys As Tarot Cards

Sans : Judgement.

UPRIGHT: Judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution.

REVERSED: Self-doubt, inner critic, ignoring the call.

He represents the reversed version of this card, having kept all those secrets to himself and ignoring the call to step in until it was too late. He never really acts upon the position of the judge until it's too late, until he can never really avoid it. He stops himself from doing so much, being his worst critic, preventing him from reaching his full potential. In order for him to break it, he needs to be kinder to himself and acknowledge all that he's been avoiding.

Papyrus: The Fool.

UPRIGHT: Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit

REVERSED: Holding back, recklessness, risk-taking.

Papyrus represents upright version of this card. He may not know what comes next, but he's ready to face it head on and listen to his soul. He has an open and curious mind, ready to explore everything and anything. In the upright version of The Fool, it also represents inner growth, new experiences and developments. Upon reaching the surface, Papyrus would have grown more, becoming more mature while still maintaining his lightheartedness, improving on who he is and what he wants to do next.

Blue: The Magician.

UPRIGHT: Manifestation, resourcefulness, power, inspired action

REVERSED: Manipulation, poor planning, untapped talents.

Blue is someone who has many talents and is full of potential. He represents the upright version of The Magician. He knows what he wants and how he's going to get it, never going to stop it until he reaches it. It takes time but he's in tune with his soul and his needs, understanding himself better than most of the others. While he may be inclined to use his cute looks to get what he wants, he's more into using his skills and his abilities to stand out from the others.

Stretch: The Hermit.

UPRIGHT: Soul-searching, introspection, being alone, inner guidance.

REVERSED: Isolation, loneliness, withdrawal.

Stretch represents the reversed version of The Hermit. Despite being relaxed and clowning others, he does isolate from others more than one would think. He's scared of opening up to people, to have his trust broken. He's only used to what he's experienced before but eventually he will have to make it through without a guide, to dive into deep depths of the unknown no matter how long that would take.

Red: The Hanged Man.

UPRIGHT: Pause, surrender, letting go, new perspectives

REVERSED: Delays, resistance, stalling, indecision.

Red represents the reversed version of The Hanged Man. He needs to stop and surrender, allow new changes to come in and look from new perspectives. But the thing is, he's scared of new changes, things happening out of his control that he does literally everything but that until he inevitably is forced to face it whether he likes it or not. He isn't sure where he wants to go or what he wants to do, retreating back to his shell to ignore the calls of change and acceptance, afraid that he may fail.

Edge: Death.

UPRIGHT: Endings, change, transformation, transition

REVERSED: Resistance to change, personal transformation, inner purging.

For all that Edge had been through, he represents the upright version of Death. He realizes that upon reaching the surface, a major chapter of his life has come to an end, he doesn't need to be fighting for his life or be in the guard to keep monsterkind safe. It takes time for him to really come to terms with it but he does inevitably accept it. While he may still be a prickly skeleton, he is more open to changes compared to his brother.

Black: The Chariot.

UPRIGHT: Control, willpower, success, action, determination.

REVERSED: Self-discipline, opposition, lack of direction

Black represents the upright version of The Chariot. When he has a goal, nothing is stopping him, his willpower is something that others want, burning as brightly as a fire that can never be tamed. He is never passive in what he does, always making sure to have control over everything that he does and never strays away from his objective. He uses his self discipline to keep himself afloat whenever challenges come his way, it's what kept him alive this whole time.

Rus: Strength.

UPRIGHT: Strength, courage, persuasion, influence, compassion.

REVERSED: Inner strength, self-doubt, low energy, raw emotion.

Rus represents the upright version of Strength. He's loyal, never budging for even a moment when he chooses to support those that are close that are close to him. He's in tune with his feelings, only really letting his raw emotions explode in a fit of rage, that is, if you can even upset him to that degree. His strength is quiet, never having to yell or do anything drastic to have the attention on him. He works behind the scenes while his brother takes up the main spotlight, making sure the others listen to him.

Wine: The Emperor.

UPRIGHT: Authority, establishment, structure, a father figure

REVERSED: Domination, excessive control, lack of discipline, inflexibility.

Wine represents the upright version of The Emperor. He's always been more of a father figure to Coffee, especially to the others as well. No one is better at accepting the role of leader better than Wine himself, easily asserting himself in a situation with little to no trouble. If he has a plan, he's sticking to it, and no one else can tell him what to do when he's figured it out. He will always have the final say.

Coffee: Hierophant.

UPRIGHT: Spiritual wisdom, religious beliefs, conformity, tradition, institutions.

REVERSED: Personal beliefs, freedom, challenging the status quo.

Coffee represents the upright version of the Hierophant. He learns almost everything from his brother, becoming skilled and adhering to a more structured way of life. It's comfortable for him, having something to follow along with as it helps keep him calm. But eventually, he will have to learn to branch out on his own and make of his own principles, what does he stand for? What does he want for himself? He's learnt many things and has honed his own skills by practicing, making very flexible.

Thistle: The Moon.

UPRIGHT: Illusion, fear, anxiety, subconscious, intuition.

REVERSED: Release of fear, repressed emotion, inner confusion.

Thistle represents the upright version of The Moon. He's anxious about the future, unable to really forget all that has happened to him, it's why he doesn't do more than the bare minimum. He tries to avoid situations by not paying attention to it, ignoring his subconscious telling him other wise. Thistle is brave, but he's afraid of taking too big of a risk. He has yet to heal completely, but he is making slow strides despite wanting to hide at home.

Chestnut: The Star.

UPRIGHT: Hope, faith, purpose, renewal, spirituality.

REVERSED: Lack of faith, despair, self-trust, disconnection.

Chestnut represent the upright version of The Star. He has endured many challenges, and has grown so much from who he was before. Despite this though, he knows who he is down to his core, what he stands for and what he wants. He still is lighthearted, just a little more calmer now. After a long process of getting help, he doesn't view his changes as a bad thing. Yes, they are painful memories, but he has a stronger sense of self now. He is still Papyrus, he still holds that vigour, he just has more hope than ever that he can still live the life he wants without any fear.

[businessbois]

what i can only assume is a mixture of business skills, fighting with his words, and tommyinnit’s canonical puppy eyes in action plus a single bonus smpearth clip because frick you its my compilation i get to put smpe in if i want

timestamps and transcript:

1:11:53 TommyInnit fights with Purpled, Tubbo & Fundy

Tommy: “Order! Silence in the court. I hereby declare you no longer a judge, please sit over there.” Tubbo: “Fine.” Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s going to happen. Wha—” [Tubbo walks over to the other side of the courtroom, places a stone step, and sits down. Tommy silently laughs.] Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s gonna happen—” Tubbo: “Wait, what? Wait, how has this happened?”

1:20:27 1:24:51 TommyInnit & Quackity Do a Heist

Tommy: “You got robbed, bitch!” [Eret hits him with his sword, taking half his health] Tommy: “Please don’t kill me though.” Eret: “Tommy. Can I have my stuff back?” Tommy: “Alright. You got some food for me? I’m really struggling.” Eret: “I’ve some carrots. Friendship carrots.” [throws him carrots] “There you go.” Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, thanks, here you go.” [tosses him one of thirteen enchanting books] “Good day.” - Tommy: “Alright, I’m gonna keep knockback two, power four for effort.” [crosses his fingers] “‘Cause I robbed you.” [Eret hits him with his sword] Tommy: “Please don’t kill me. I’m really, really low on HP.” Eret: [laughs] “I’d quite like my book back.” Tommy: “You’re not even gonna use it.” Eret: “Probably not.” Tommy: “Just for ef—participation.” Eret: “Fine, I’ll give you this one since you’ve given back all my stuff.” Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch.”

54:35 TommyInnit & Technoblade take Antfrost hostage

Tommy: “Hand it [Antfrost’s armor] to me now.” [Antfrost takes off all his armor and throws it to Tommy] Tommy: “Oh, wow. That—That was— You really— Oh, wow, you just—” Techno: “You’re a very persuasive guy, Tommy.” Tommy: “Okay. Come with us, Antfrost!” [Antfrost follows]

35:32 TommyInnit, Dream, & Technoblade Team Up

Tommy: “So what I’m thinking, Skeppy, is— I can’t believe— I can’t believe you didn’t convince me to stop drowning, I convinced you to start drowning. Like, that— I’m so good with my words. Holy shit. Holy shit.” Skeppy: “To be fair, how’s he done that?”

27:10 Tommy's Last Night on the Dream SMP

Tommy: “Okay, anyway, but thank you so much for this. Listen, I’ll make amends, uh, provided I don’t die tomorrow.” Techno: “Wait, what did you take?” [laughs] “What did you take from my base?” Tommy: “Not a lot, really. Not a lot.” Techno: “Wait, can I get, like, a list?” Tommy: “Uhh, potions, primarily. And pearls.” Techno: “Bruhhh.” Tommy: “Yeah, ‘bruhh,’ me too. That’s how I felt if I die tomorrow, Techno, this might be my last night. It was lovely seeing your base and the home that we used to share together. Me and you, we’ve really come a long way. I’m gonna leave now.” [Techno laughs]

1:20:02 Sam Is The Villain?

Tommy: “Give me the rest [of the hearts of the sea]. Give me the rest. Give me the fucking rest.” Eret: “I’m honestly impressed.” Tommy: “Give me two more. Give me two more.” Eret: “Two more?” Tommy: “I’ll fucking...” [headbutts her] Eret: “Okay, Tommy, we can come to a compromise. We can come to a compromise. Alright?” [opens her enderchest] “One more.” [she throws Tommy one more heart of the sea] Tommy: (picking it up) “Okay.” Eret: “You happy with that?” Tommy: “Mhm. Thank you.” Eret: “Pleasure doing business with you. Even though I’ve got nothing in return.” Tommy: “Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure doing business with you too, Eret. You owe me.”

1:23:07 Sam Is The Villain?

Tommy: (doing drug deal with Puffy) “Three, two, one.” [He throws Puffy kelp as she throws him five diamonds] Puffy: “Ah, this is the shit right here. This is some good— Ah.” Tommy: “Yes, and I know that because I’ve done drugs.”

35:36 Tommy Is Back Streaming

Tommy: (doing drug deal with Ponk) “I’ll drop you one, you drop me— There’s thirty-nine diamonds per one, yeah?” [Ponk drops 11 blocks of diamonds to Tommy] Tommy: (quietly) “Oh shit, okay. How many is that? Nine times three. Twenty-seven.” (loudly) “Yep!” [Ponk drops him seven more diamond blocks] Tommy: “Ponk your maths is incredible. Your maths. I’ve never met a man...” Ponk: “Thank you.” [He drops him 14 more diamond blocks, a total of 33, as Tommy’s get wider and wider]

40:51 Tommy Is 17 Now

Tommy: “Aw, this is my worst birthday ever.” [crouching in front of Ranboo] “Ranboo, I’m doing the puppy eyes at you.” Tubbo: “Give him TNT.” Ranboo: (nodding at Tommy) “Awwwwww.” [He drops him a golden apple] “Wow, that works really— What was that? That was just involuntary, my god. He’s good.” Tommy: “Ranboo. Oh, Ranboo. Have you got any water bucket?” Ranboo: “I— I do, yeah. Yeah, I do.” Tommy: “The minors want TNT.” Ranboo: (tossing Tommy a bucket) “Oh, wait a sec, what the heck. He’s so good. Wait, he’s really good at this, what the heck is going on?” Tommy: “Yeah!”

42:55 Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy, Tubbo’s Stream April 22nd

Tommy: “Do you want one of my codfish?” Ghostbur: “Yeah.” Tommy: “Too bad. Gonna cost you.” Ghostbur: “How much?” Tommy: “Uhh, what’s the most valuable thing you got on you.” Ghostbur: “Uhhh, I have a netherite pickaxe with efficiency four, mending, silk touch...” Tommy: “Yep! Yep! Yep! Okay, I’ll give you five codfish for that.” Ghostbur: “Okay.” Tubbo: “Codfish should be our national currency.” Tommy: “Oh. Yep, okay. That works.” Ghostbur: “Thank you.” Tommy: “No worries.” Tubbo: “Wow.” Ghostbur: “Tubbo, I just got a great deal.”

8:49 I Upset Wilbur In Minecraft And It Was Hilarious

Tommy: “I took a book, if that’s cool with you.” James: “That’s alright, yeah.” Tommy: (surprised) “Oh. Oh. Nice.” James: “What book was it.” Tommy: [checks inventory] “Oh, wait. Wrong book. Sorry.” [He goes back] James: “Did you want the mending book?” Tommy: “No, I already have mending books.” James: “Did you want the protection book?” Tommy: “I stole wrong.” James: “That’s fine.” Tommy: “I’m not the best criminal, you know?” James: “That’s fine.” Tommy: “I’m still getting my feet on the ground.” James: “Look, man, you want anything, you just got to ask. You don’t need to steal. It’s okay.” Tommy: “Sorry. Sorry. I’m too— I’m used to living the bad boy’s life.” [snickers] James: “Yeah. It’s alright, man. You don’t have to be the bad guy. I’m here for you.” Tommy: “Thank you, James. This is— This is what I needed.”

[taeslovehandles]

bruh.... BRUHH.... IM FREAKIN OUT. So my boyfriend is like really skinny like teeny tiny twig man skinny. And he's kind of had a hard time eating since he was like 16 (like one bowl of ramen in the entire day) and sometimes he says things like, "ahh i can't drink too much of that or ill get fat" or tryying to get abs since he has cute baby tummy thats a lil squishy until i mentioned i don't really find abs attractive then he quit. and when he says stuff about food and eating like worrying he'll get big I always tell him i wouldn't care at all. and i noticed he's starting to eat more and im so freaking happy. cuz the man loves food, he's just obviously got some kind of body image issue or eating disorder, and he's starting to go into more eating since we've been dating. im really excited about it so i just wanted to tell someone XD bruh :O also he has an easier time eating when i rub his tummy while he does ive noticed. im just rlly happy to see my bub eating

HE HAS A BABY TUMMY AHHHHHH. Baby tummies need to get squished >:c <3

BRUH I AM FREAKING OUT TOO WTF THAT IS GREAT!

Your are one lucky human being :D I love stories like these. Your boyfriend seems to really have body view issues and you are slowly showing them that you love them for them and no matter how they look. That they don't need to look 'perfect' for anyone and just need to be happy in their life <3

I may not know you a lot but it sounds like you are a really positive encourager for self love and acceptance. I hope your boyfriend will one day look back and be happy how his life has changed to the better <3

No one should feel like they aren't pretty enough or not good enough. This goes to anyone that feels like they do not matter or have no value. You don't have to wake up and proof anything to anyone. There will be days everything feels impossible to do, and just getting up is hard, but you got up. You are breathing and you got up, so you did a great job!

What I can give you from my own experiences with toxinity is the following: You do not own anyone a thing. If a person causes you stress and makes you uncomfortable or even have a breakdown, family, friends or co workers. Cut them out of your life. Your are living for yourself. You are trying to find who you are in this big world and those people are nothing but stones in your way. They will keep falling and if you don't roll them out of the way, you will end up hurting yourself in the process.

I did this with my aunt and I have never felt better. She is no longer part of my life, nor is my dad and I do not miss them at all. I feel greater than ever. You have to be strong and put your foot down sometimes, even if it's family. Because what does the word 'family' mean if they aren't supporting you? It's like saying 'I love you' while you go out with someone else. If 'family' is just a word, then cut them out if they fuck your mental health. It will literally change your life. <3

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

[dlroleplay]

Just one big post of replies to all of the messages you all sent me! ❤ aka just me saying thank you 700 times!! 

also I just fixed this so it didn’t look weird on mobile because um oops!! i hope the format still isn’t weird sorry lol

Anonymous said: (Ca) Do what you want and when you want. We're not gonna starve here😂💙 

I know!! but I just feel bad?? ? But I have been kinda,,,, gone for like the past two/three days, so idk?? I just don’t want to leave you guys for too long? Idk!! Thank you, though! ❤❤

Anonymous said: € one day，ai got mentally drunk（dont ask me why，they just happen once a year）. then they teleported to sakamaki and mukami （even tho they considered as enemy）and say they are cute/handsome/beautiful/loving（honestly，actual ai dont really thought of that…）and kiss them on their foreheads. they also did it to tsukinami，yui and Karlheinz. （karlheinz knew about this but its his worst memory about ai XD）at the end of day，they watching ants in the forest and awaked. XD，crazy，huh？！

omg haha I can imagine all of their reactions right now,, and it’s such a beautiful thing, lolol. Thanks for this,, it made me laugh!

Anonymous said: € （please dont feel stress or guilty about it. ( ̥́ ˍ ̀ू )）

I wish it was that easy! I mean try not to,, but I can’t help it! I love all of you guys alfajdlkjdskj But I’ll try!

Anonymous said: € （another fact：when ai was alive，they went to the same school as the boys and yui. they chose to go night school because less people go to night school than morning school. none of the boys recognize or notice or care about them because they are REALLY quiet. but sakamaki dont like them because they have karlheinz‘s smell on them and mukami were… just confuse…… but ai never talked to the boy until azusa…… good… memory…… why am i crying……）

JKSDakjfnjkd no!!!!! ! Why, , my heart!!!

kaidiyuu said: Bruhh my power was out for two days and I’m as cold as a goddamn ice cube; but anyways I hope you have a good day/evening/night mun💋

Oh,, yikes. I hope you’re okay!! Or at least not sick or something,, idk!! Thank you,, I hope you have a nice day as well! ❤❤

1000fandoms said: Hey, don’t push yourself, okay, honey? Take care of yourself ❤️

Thank you!! I’ve been trying to worry about myself first,, but you guys and this blog are constantly on my mind,, especially recently. But I’m doing a little better as of right now! Thank you ❤❤❤

Anonymous said: Don’t worry be happy!❤️

Aww,, that’s cute, lol. I’ll try?? Thank you, anon! 

kaidiyuu said: That was me that asked you if you were alright (I feel like I’m being annoying 😅) but when you responded it made me die inside a little bit I want you to be happy y’know! Don’t be sad❤️ if your feeling down you can talk to me; I mean If you want. I just said it in anon because I don’t want to seem like I talk so much. (I do actually sorry) 😅❤️

You will never ever be annoying to me! I love hearing what people have to say to me,, and the fact that you even want to tell me something just means a lot! Again, thank you so much for that. Anon or not, I appreciate you, and everyone else here! Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Anonymous said: I mean you should go ahead and rant if that'll help! And it'd be nice to know whats going on

Uhhhhh?? ?? Well, I’ve still been debating on whether I should do that or not,, so it might be coming soon if I actually get the guts to do it?? I mean, it might help, but idk aflksjkljak My mind just keeps on changing it’s thoughts about posting one, and it probably help to have you guys get to know what’s been bothering me, but also idk?

Anonymous said: € （you dont need to say sorry，we just hope you are okay. ❤️ill pray for you.❤️）

Aww,, that’s so sweet adjkgadjlkn I actually just got tears in my eyes,, oops. Thank you, though! ❤❤ 

marsieparsie said: If you need to take a break, all of us will understand. We love and care about you and I’m sure none of us want you to be stressed ❤️

See,, the thing is, I don’t want to take a break for too long? Idk,, I worry about you all a lot, and the thought of it kinda hurts, lol. Thank you, I’m going to think about this for a little longer, and hopefully I’ll be back soon. This really means a lot to me ❤❤❤❤

Anonymous said: Hello Mun, I'm kinda worried about you and I hope you feel better, if you need to take a break it's okay, if you need to take a few days it's okay, we just want you to know that we support you and care about you, hope you feel better after this 💜 -B

Yeah,, I hope so too! I think this is my first time actually having a blog like this,, at least from what I can remember, anyways. And I just feel really bad,, and kinda embarrassed about being this dramatic,, idk. Thank you, though! Hopefully I’ll be back soon! ❤❤

Anonymous said: I’m glad you’re doing okay! Honestly, I wouldn’t mind getting my phone blown up by you. I love all your rps, and other asks! You’re doing an amazing job, sweetheart ❤️

I’m really glad you think so! Idk if I intended to answer this earlier,, but it’s kinda too late now, so obviously,, I did decide to go on with answering all of the asks. But thank you, I really appreciate this!

Anonymous said: € （hon，i really hope you get enough rest (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) ）

Well,, I’d say I do get enough,, but honestly I don’t think so?? My sleep schedule is pretty,, um,,,,, off? I should probably try to get more sleep, but I never really try and it’s just kinda a mess idkdaksdk I don’t even try, either so I’m not going to complain, I guess? 

[inkofamethyst]

October 28, 2020

You know, one of the interesting things about keeping a journal is that it’s somewhat filtered though how I want to see myself in the future, sort of.  Like, sure, it doesn’t seem like I’m lying about the things that I do on a day-to-day basis, but I could write down anything on this blog and my future self will have no choice but to believe in its validity.  “Did I actually get all the work done that I wanted to get done on that day?  Well, I wrote that I did, so I suppose I have to take my past self’s word for it.”  I could be making minor edits to my life that make me seem cooler or more responsible than I actually am.  Sort of makes me a bit of an unreliable narrator, I suppose?  I mean, you can probably tell that most of this stuff is truth though.  There’s nothing cool about waiting until two weeks before an exam to start watching through the lectures that have been available for a month.  There’s nothing cool about being so anxious to talk to your own friends.  There’s nothing cool about almost joining a cult a cultish a cult-like a religious organization that wasn’t completely upfront with me.  There’s nothing cool about being so stressed during my senior year of high school that I regularly broke down into tears.

...Actually.  I don’t want to jinx it... but I haven’t cried once this semester.  I’m halfway through and I haven’t had a breakdown.  I mean, sure, I’ve had sad/anxious thoughts/days, but it’s not yet brought me to the point of tears, and I sure haven’t been brought close to crying.  I think I’ve cried twice at home, both times were before the semester, and both were related to my grandmother and her failing health which... I hate to say it but I’ve been employing a sort of cognitive dissonance to that whole situation as a means of emotional protection, I think.  I’ve been doing the same thing with my great aunt and her health recently.

But my point is that I’ve been suspiciously emotionally stable when it comes to school this semester.  Maybe it’s because I’m taking easier classes (frankly, anthro, bio, and literature are really easy classes, they just take up a bit of time), and next semester may be more difficult (...I’m taking a whole seventeen credits bruhh AND THE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE HARDDD), but you know what?  No use in worrying about the future, especially when I can worry about the present instead.

For example: my current sleep schedule that I’ve been maintaining since Friday or so of this past week where I go to bed at 4am and wake up at 10am really is not sustainable.  Like, yeah, I get full REM cycles (whatever that means), but I don’t think it’s enough, you know?  First of all, I need to get up at 9 am at the latest.  Second of all, I’m pretty sure my most sustainable sleeping pattern is when I get seven and a half hours at least.  That has ~not~ been happening recently (by the way, when I use the ~~ around a word or phrase, that’s where I would be singing it in the sentence, even if only on one note, just to add emphasis by changing the pacing.  Note, this is not the same as using italics, which for me signifies a stress being put onto the word or phrase, as if it’s being pressed down by a hydraulic press or something.  (Speaking of hydraulic presses, y’all probably know that I’m not really a fan of horror-esque movies (Midsommar scarred me :D), and I used to read the mini horror stories that my photo-friend would send into group chats from r/NoSleep but I no longer will after reading a terrifying one that I couldn’t finish related to hydraulic presses, and even just thinking about it makes me want to have my cognitive abilities torn away from me :D (that’s a sarcastic :D, by the way.))) so I gotta get myself back on track.

Also??? Y’all.  The JoAnn Plaiditudes collection is literally the best thing ever omg.  I need to keep an eye out for when they update their selections because they once had this lovely dark and light brown plaid that would’ve looked so good in a skirt/dress.  They’ve also got this herringbone which I’ve actually bought and it’s so soft and has such a beautiful drape and I’m pretty sure I’m going to use it to make a box pleated skirt (...you know, like the gray one Rachel has...).  I’m also excited to see what the weave is like on the dark green cotton I just bought, because I might make it into a gathered skirt.  I don’t think I got enough for a full dress, and I think I want to increase my skirt numbers before I start making too many dresses.  AHH to have a sizeable section of my wardrobe that’s made by me???  A dream.

Oh and also, Kim Possible?  An Icon.  I’m going to a covid appropriate halloween-birthday party on Saturday for my cello-friend (I know, look at me, two gatherings in less than a week during a literal pandemic), and I plan to dress as Kim Possible because that’s really the best I can do out of my closet with a very low budget (I’m getting a $20 wig and thass IT) and like lowkey,,, I look pretty good?  I’ve got these green pants that I had to alter a few years ago but literally never wore but like they’re super flattering actually?  Aside from the fact that the waistband is elasticized in the back (courtesy of moi), they’re really a cool-looking pair of pants with pockets on the sides of the legs.  And I’m not toned in the tummy area nor do I own a mock neck crop top, so I’m wearing a scoop neck black bodysuit which ain’t too bad.  I think I have some black gloves from marching band that I can pop on, and I’ve got a dark belt, and I think I’m golden.  I may try to make a phone insert that looks like the Kimmunicator, but that’s no guarantee.  I uhhh also need to figure out what I’m going to do as a gift/card thing.  I may pick that up on Saturday and sew a masculine/gender neutral cosmetic pouch to carry things like toothbrushes and... razors, and other things a guy might need to take with him to college.  It’s a simple gift that shouldn’t take too much time, though it’ll involve a zipper, so we’ll see.

And finally (I’ve been working on this entry periodically throughout the day lol) Wilbur Soot gives me so much serotonin I think I might faint.  Like, his voice and hair and accent and aesthetic and face and aknakbvjsdk I am so glad I don’t watch his twitch streams because I would surely simp so hard.  

Today I’m thankful for Wilbur and his ability to make me smile, even if it is only through stupid Minecraft videos with questionable plot.  Gone are the days of fifth grade Nina simping over jacksfilms, gone are the days of ninth grade Nina simping over pewdiepie, and welcome, the era of college sophomore Nina simping over Wilbur Soot (and, to a lesser but still very real extent, Dream).

I wonder if writing in this journal so often is improving my sense of voice.  Not like personal agency, but like my ability to write stories and scripts with strong characters that are individual.

[ebonix]

OMG. This week reminded me of when we were younger like when we first met and I would go hang with him, but my period started so, instead of me watching him play video games and bug him while he did. He'd be holding me and TRY to play the video games while soothing me and asking me if I was alright 😂. Lmfaooo We legit have so many memories over music, video games, Chinese Food and a bunch of awkward shit. Lol I love the fact that he's just supportive during times like this. I legit wish I could see him, but I know going to the studio makes him happy so, I'll forfeit a few weekends and not bug about it. Heck if I could be in the studio every weekend I'd probably jump at the chance too. I mean music is what bonded us. It'd be hella weird for me to keep him away from what we love. I do wish he'd take my musical background seriously tho. Like bruhh, I'm out of practice, but I legit played classical piano for over ten years and jazz on clarinet even longer. I know a lil something about music. Gawd. His birthday is coming up next month and I've been freaking out about what else to prepare. I already got the card and 1 mini gift last month. Now... I need to get a cute bag and maybe some other fillers. I'm legit excited. I wanna maybe change my hair for his day. Not to mention our anniversary is coming up. I also realized that we have sooooo many other anniversaries to celebrate throughout the year. But January is the month we got back reconnected and the month of his birth so, I am super psyched to see 2018 with my long-time homie and eskimo kiss partner!! You drive me crazy, but you keep me grounded. I'm legit excited to start a third year of kisses, hugs, emotional volcanoes and see where life takes us from here. I know where we started and to see us both mature to where we are together and the maturity we try to display when interacting together now that we've grown apart and chose to come back together and STAY together makes me wanna cry. So.. imma go back to AW and cry alongside each episode while I wait for my boo to finish his studio session. 😢

[ebonix]

Please give me strength to not hand this teacher herself!! Lawd! Yo ass doesn't teach! Doesn't want to be asked questions in class. Is fake AF! Puhlease don't talk to me! I made a vow that I could get through the course avoiding all interaction, but this witch of a teacher keeps trying me! This is college! If someone is late either they get credit or don't. I can either take the test or not. There's so much bullshit that has occurred between she and I that I don't even vent about!! She needs to stay in her lane and I'll stay in mine FOLLOWING the damn syllabus given. Thank God I'm no longer going to take this course for a grade! I'm not even getting exposed to anything here. Literally have learned nothing when I'm in her class for hours!! So, she's threatening to email her chair of department!! 😂 Puhlease do!! Make a meeting why don't you! This woman doesn't even KNOW the can of worms she's opening. My pettiness is on. I'm not even getting a grade in her class, but I'm about to play to her administrative action game. Bruhh... Are you discussing students without their permission? What are the limits to privacy? I'm going to be together with this shit. In the meantime I have real classes to prepare for! I swear I am going to spend the next ten years teaching myself cuz I refuse to find out I don't like another teacher and have to deal with this bs! College is such a waste of time when I'm teaching myself anyways!! Not reviewing or memorizing on my own, but literally have to introduce, study and comprehend everything on my OWN from bottom to end because the five hour classes I'm in aren't doing shit. It's okay. I'm going to vent during spring break and come back a new woman. I'm going to work on my humility some more, but gahhh I just want her to stop talking to me! If I can't ask you questions about the subject matter being taught then we have nothing to ever discuss! You see me in the streets AGAIN I will ignore you as I did after that first class. I couldn't believe she had the gumption to approach me after I purposely ignored her. Then proceeded to be a witch in class every class after THAT!