#brotp: we like pain

[blasphemousclaw]

Idk if you plan on doing the "questions-about-character-x" list yet, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on Marika (maybe with a side of Radagon but mostly the golden strumpet).

• favorite thing about them

nothing hits me harder than characters who lash out because of the injustice or suffering they’ve endured… there’s something so cathartic about characters who make their pain and anger felt in the world in a tangible and consequential way. Marika is this character to me!! I think it’s so powerful to introduce her as an all-powerful goddess, keeping her at a distance as this enigmatic figure who shaped the world as it is today and then shattered it, and then to humanize her by showing us where she comes from and what she went through… she was never just a cold, distant, uncaring deity, but a person, with very human motivations and flaws. learning her backstory gives us so much context for why she did the things that she did and gives us the opportunity to feel close to her and empathize with her… I think she was always sympathetic in the base game, but she still felt so distant, so I really love how the dlc fleshed her out and made her character so accessible

• least favorite thing about them

this isn’t even about her, but about how the fanbase has responded to her writing in the dlc because like dear god

it almost makes me want to avoid content of her which sucks because I really like her LOL

• favorite line

“Hear me, Demigods. My children beloved. Make of thyselves that which ye desire. Be it a Lord. Be it a God. But should ye fail to become aught at all, ye will be forsaken. Amounting only to sacrifices...”

absolutely fascinating quote… we don’t really know the context, so there’s many different ways to interpret it… Marika urging her children to become a lord or a god is interesting, because when she deposed the Gloam-Eyed Queen and removed Destined Death from the Elden Ring, it seemed like she was fighting hard to stay in power and to become “Eternal,” but her children succeeding her would necessarily end her reign? This also almost seems like she’s encouraging conflict between her children… there can only be one god and one lord, after all. we don’t know when the quote was spoken, but it almost seems to reference Ranni’s sacrifice of Godwyn on her path to godhood on her own terms? is this a warning? is it a challenge? is it just the words of an extremely jaded and cynical goddess?

• brOTP, ОТР

ok I’m gonna do away with this format here because I just want to list some of her relationships that I really like without having to categorize them:

Marika and Messmer: the dynamic of Marika being a god-queen whose grace is blinding, and her son being born cursed with a serpent of the lightless abyss is so good… him taking up the crusade on her behalf, of his own volition, because he hates how he was born so deeply and will do anything to try to atone for something that isn’t even his fault, committing horrors in her name, is SOOOO

Marika and Radagon: I love pondering where one of them starts and the other begins, how they have opposite goals and worldviews but exist in the same being. really good

Marika and Rennala: I wouldn’t call it an otp but I like it as a ship. Marika being the one to steal away Rennala’s husband, but she actually IS her husband. unparalleled dynamic

• nОТР

there arent any Marika ships I’ve seen that I dislike

• random headcanon

I think she was horrified and disgusted by Morgott and Mohg AND she loved them still. omen babies would have their horns cut off, usually causing them to die, but omen babies born of royalty did not have their horns cut off, so they were allowed to live… I love the idea that Marika couldn’t bear to sentence her children to death, but she also couldn’t bear to look at them because of her past, so they were confined to the Shunning Grounds

• unpopular opinion

*cracks knuckles*

SO MANY people have the wrong idea about her. you’ve got people saying everything she did was justified, she didn’t go far enough, “total hornsent death” etc etc. and on the other hand you’ve got people saying the dlc writing is terrible because it’s excusing Marika for her crimes, it’s baiting you to feel bad for the hornsent and then pulling a plot twist that actually, they were evil and Marika was good the whole time!

both of these interpretations are flawed because the story is not arguing that the hornsent are fundamentally evil people, and it is not arguing that Marika is now blameless because of what she suffered. the story is rife with moments of sympathy for the hornsent’s suffering and examples of the crusade’s inexcusable cruelty, and so much of what’s in the base game showcases the cruelty that Marika’s Order has inflicted. just because the story is giving Marika a sympathetic reason for why she is the way she is does not mean that these facts cease to exist! sympathy for Marika, sympathy for the hornsent, and condemnation for the Golden Order’s and the crusade’s crimes can all exist in the story at the same time!!!!!

• song i associate with them

…how about this: if anyone has a song in mind, leave it in the replies or tags!

• favorite picture of them

Ranni holding her head u_u

[maranigai]

Do you still accept characters for that ask meme? I saw you only answered an ask about Messmer so far! How about Morgott for that ask meme? (not sure if asking DS characters counts since like 80% of info about them has to be manually hallucinated by the fan themselves, but I can if that's okay with you!)

Yep, I'm still doing character ask meme, Messmer simply was the only ask for me by now lol Also DS characters are fine too, of course they would be like 95% headcanon based, but that's why we love DS, isn't it?

But anyway, Morgott. My absolutely favourite of favourites of all ER characters...

favorite thing about them

First of all, Morgott is such a beautifully contradictory character. He's a demigod shardbearer and a cursed being, a proud monarch and a monster in his own eyes, a defender of all that is holy and a warlock shrouded in illusions. And all these things are actually logical and completely understandable given his story. Because, above everything else, Morgott is a broken creature, not as a result of his own deeds or guilts, but because of the things beyond his control, some ancient sins and crimes he's not aware of, some old vengeance that existed even before he was born. And this break, this pain, is a spiral, you know? Morgott hates his nature because he was convinced he's a monster, he supports the system that oppresses him because he believes that he's oppressed rightfully and this system is the best remaining option for the world as a whole, even if he and people like him have to suffer for it, and in doing so he causes even more harm, more oppression and misery for himself and everyone around. I love how he's a loyal, determined, faithful person, and this is exactly what makes him a villain in the story. He's an extremely tragic character, but completely consistent in his tragedy, his brokenness, and I have a deep weakness for broken things.

least favorite thing about them

I don't think there's anything I don't like about him as a character, I mean, he's certainly not flawless, but his flaws are what make him so interesting in the first place. So I say that my least favourite thing is his bossfight. Don't get me wrong, Morgott is one of my favourite FromSoft bosses in general, but I have a feeling that they made his moveset (super-complex and interesting) first, then remembered he's a mandatory mid-game boss and panicked to balance him to this level by drastically reducing his damage and hp.

favorite line

May the curse seep to thy very soul.

I just love his spiteful tone in this one, sorry.

brOTP

I could write Mohg or Godwyn here and it would be legit, but allow me to be more exotic this time and mention Malenia. They have many things in common, if you think about it: two cursed, yet somewhat noble beings, bitterly determined and endlessly loyal to their masters of choice. I can absolutely see how they can respect and understand each other, even if not sharing each other's cause. I also love the idea of a young, sick, not-yet-swordmaster Malenia and her Cool Big Brother Morgott, the only person around who takes her seriously.

OTP

Banished knight Oleg. Literally the mix of my favourite tropes of "liege and their a bit too loyal knight" and "my majestic, scheming wife and me, committing whatever crimes she wants me to commit today". Also Oleg dies before Morgott, so my inner angst enjoyer appreciates this as well.

nOTP

Mohg! I just can't see them as a pairing, their sibling relationships is everything to me. I'm also not a fan of Tarnished/Morgott, mainly because most of such arts/fics imply some level of self-indulgence and this just doesn't work for me (though I've seen several very cool works with this pairing too).

random headcanon

Three for the price of one: Morgott's hobby is creating clockwork automatons (a more detailed post about this hc); his favourite half-sibling is Malenia and this is mutual; he also shares Mohg's sense of fashion, but refuses to admit it.

unpopular opinion

While most people hc Morgott to be the elder twin, in my hcs he's the younger one (and the youngest of Godfrey's sons). Ironically enough, this isn't an important headcanon for Morgott himself, but it's an essential part of my perception of Godwyn and (especially) Mohg.

song i associate with them

Мельница - Что ты знаешь

My personal theme song for Morgott as the Veiled Monarch.

favorite picture of them

There're so many cool arts of Morgott that it's really hard to choose the most favourite one lol

So for now I pick this one by Cruentum_Noctis

[harrowharkwife]

for the character meme: dulcie or cam or pal or a character of ur choosing!!! hehe

!!!!! ty lem!! im gonna do my girl dulcie...

favorite thing about them: honestly just the way she's written- it never fails to make me emotional that she *is* explicitly written as being brave and strong, but tamsyn neatly sidesteps the "inspiration porn" ableist stereotype of writing a character as being brave/strong *because* they are sick. dulcie isn't brave or strong because of her illness. her strength and bravery are explicitly positioned, IMO, as being in response to surviving *ableism* and other people's condescension towards her and mistreatment of her, rather than surviving her illness itself, if that makes sense. her health is just a fact of her life, it's not moralized. which i really, really appreciate. it's a small shift, but it's very meaningful to me.

ALSO deeply special to me: her intentional and careful commitment to boundaries re: The Palamedes Of It All. a refreshing change of pace, as far as these books go vgjtjxdjt

least favorite thing about them: i mean. houser. :/

favorite line: three way tie between "truly, wonderful news for my haters," "i am sick of roses and horny for revenge," and "oops, there i go again, never doing what i'm told"

brOTP: gideon!!!!! i think it's a crying shame they've never met. i think they'd get along tremendously. the whole cytherea gideon thing was Horrid and Awful in so many ways, but it always Extra stings (in an adding-insult-to-injury sort of way) when i think about what it would have been like if gideon had REALLY met dulcinea, and not cyth. dulcie would've been a great friend for her, i think. they'd have been so good at making each other laugh

OTP: honestly these days it's cam? @ palamedes ily but get outta here gayboy it's yuri time now. plus i just love chewing on the concept of cam + comphet, and cam + subconscious internalized misogyny, and cam + gender, and cam + her relationships and interactions with other women. i think there's lots to explore there. camdulcie has a certain "when i was eight i didn't realize i had a crush on the new girl in my grade so i just wrote her a note that said 'get out of my school'" energy about it, To Me

nOTP: idk if i really have one for her, specifically? idk. ianthe or something, fuck it.

random headcanon: stoner. on all levels except physical she is taking fuckall huge bong rips. on the physical level though her lungs suck so i think she'd be a tincture girlie. she's got chronic pain she deserves it. am i projecting? you tell me

unpopular opinion: idk if this is an unpopular opinion exactly, but i always see people referring to thee rejected proposal as being something born primarily out of love/out of romantic intent? and i don't know if that's necessarily how i see it. it was CERTAINLY, and obviously, a factor. but at least from my interpretation of pal's monologue to cytherea at the end there, i get the sense that he had already accepted her boundaries in that regard, because he says he "understood that he was a child." and we also get camilla saying that his motivations in proposing were primarily a means-to-an-end way of getting her off the seventh and letting her die with dignity. iirc her exact words were like "so she could spend what time she had left with people who cared about her." like, don't get me wrong, i think pal is lying to himself if he says that being in love with dulcie wasn't PART of the motivation there. but i find it a lot more interesting in a worldbuilding and social commentary way to interpret the circumstances there as him offering, essentially, to be a hospice doctor at age 19, and marriage being the 'easiest' way to get her off the seventh/planet medical malpractice. there's an imperial misogyny ownership-through-marriage throughline there that's nauseating, as well as the implications re: disability and agency and autonomy, and i think that's all very interesting to explore. i think this view is supported in part by the paldulcie interaction in TUG, where she alludes to the idea that she was cognizant about the impact that bearing witness to death and loss up-close and personal like that changes a person, and that she didn't want to do that to pal and cam, especially given their age. i think it informa dulcie's character and grants her additional narrative agency to look at things from that angle, of her "no" being in reference to *both* the age gap AND her intentional choice to continue suffering on the seventh, rather than put two kids through being hospice caregivers and/or widowers at nineteen– no matter how many times and how sincerely they kept offering, no matter that she would've absolutely had a more peaceful and comfortable end-of-life HAD she accepted his proposal and gone to the sixth to die. i think it says a lot about her as a person, that choice. there's a quiet and meaningful responsibility to her as a person that i find fascinating. and her character is just sooooo firmly rooted in and informed by disability politics, on every level, and i feel like people don't engage with that aspect of her characterization enough!

song i associate with them: ooooh SO many, i have a whole playlist. but i think the biggest ones are

-the drama by kesha ("friday night, get too high, keep checking my pulse, am i dead yet?" / "in the next life i wanna come back, as a housecat as a housecat! i'd sleep and play in the sun, i'd be a fuckin' cute son of a gun!")

-avant gardener by courtney barnett (the whole song really, but especially the lines "the paramedic thinks i'm clever cause i play guitar, i think she's clever cause she stops people dyin'," and "i take a hit off an asthma puffer, i do it wrong, i was never good at smokin' bongs." i just think she'd love this song.)

-honorable mentions include stoned at the nail salon by lorde, life according to raechel by madison cunningham, rose-colored boy by paramore (@ palamedes, lmfao), picture me better by weyes blood, extraordinary machine by fiona apple, rubberband girl by kate bush, last words of a shooting star by mitski.

favorite picture of them: oh man well it obviously has to be my icon... art made for me by the lovely @franzias-cave !!!! based on the concept of "the woman is dying, please do her the decency of allowing her to look the part in fanart." my girl... she's a malign fairy, she's a hot-eyed wraith <3

ty lem this was so fun! i love my gworl :')

[homkamiro]

I LOVE THE TF2 MLP AU SM. it gives me sm nostalgia to when i was a kid and i and everyone in the fandom made pony aus of franchises we liked- im so happy cringe is dead and tradition is alive 🥹

ALSO THE INFECTION AU POST. GOOD SHIT;!;!!!!!!!!!! gore and body horror are inseparable from (hopefully only the mature part of) the mlp fandom and i felt so giddy jumping for joy kicking my feet up seeing that it had a resurgence!! Your post of this au with your tf2 ponies was my introduction to it!!! Nature is healinggggg

That post is BOMB. WE GOT: 1) HEAVYMEDIC ANGST. 2) PYRO & ENGIE ANGST. 3) BOOTS & BOMBS ANGST. 4) DADSPY ANGST. 5) SNIPER ANGST. ITS GIVING💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽 and the way the disease spreads differently for all of them is so creative!!!!!! Engie wants to sever the infected body part but cant cus its on his back and he needs medics help for that (and med is way too far gone to do any operation), and scout doesn't want his wings severed even tho that would save him cus he still wants to fly!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also soldier misinterpreting the request is so good. And pyro wanting to help but not being allowed to cus they'd try to burn engie. Demo drinking himself to death cus he cant handle seeing his friend in the state that he's in. Sniper disappearing cus he wants to be with his parents during this horrible time even tho they have a strained relationship. Spy wanting his son to live through this so much that he's planning to sever his wings himself. And heavyyyyyy. Heavy breaking his heart everyday still taking care of medic knowing he's going to have to kill the love of his life soon. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyways sorry for fuckin. Screaming in your asks and basically just repeating what you wrote sgjdjd. I just really love this au (and especially that comic with scout, medic and engie!!!) and the infection au post made me so nostalgic to the early days of the mlp fandom that the adhd went mental and i had to shout about it lol- feel free to not respond to this! Youre awesome! Keep doing you!!!!!!

(also youre really good at drawing gore????? Hello teach me pls)

WHAT A BIG FEEDBACK OHMYGODヽ⁠(⁠(⁠◎⁠д⁠◎⁠)⁠)⁠ゝ

Anyway I'm really super puper glad you liked my au!! I was a little hesitant to post it, since AU in AU sounds weird but I'm glad I thought otherwise - cringe culture should be dead!! Mix your hyperfixations it's good for your health!!!

AND AHHHHGGGGGH You noticed so many details thankyouuu🥺💗💗💗The best thing about this AU is that every ship and brotp can work so well in this story. Engie first helping Medic but then ending up being also infected??? Spy checking up on Engie and making him eat since he's too stressed to take a break??? Demo, Heavy and Pyro comforting each other after loosing their friends??? Spy and Scout both raging on Sniper for leaving like a coward??? Or maybe Heavy, as an earth pony, comforts Scout after he just got his wings amputated??? So many possibilities!!

Don't worry, I love when people are noticing all the details and just get,, really invested into my stuff, it really brings me joy and you made my day so much better!!🥺🥺I feel honestly a little insecure, since my pony designs and thoughts may not be the best, but I'm glad that so many people still like my mlp×tf2 stuff!! It's really endearing to know that finally something I like making is also likable to you!

About gore -- I have no idea😭I love gore but it's a pain to draw properly and scary, you'd need practice and references (I mostly use art references since yknow,,,real photos can make me sick)

[spidermanifested]

@canirim clapping my hands okay Mei Paninya Scar. Lets Go

MEI

sexuality headcanon: Baby Bi. i think that she does not yet know that girls are also a viable romantic option but if she realized she would be over the moon about it. transfem al is a fun concept and i think if that happened she would go all in on the new fantasy of BEING SWEPT OFF HER FEET BY A BEAUTIFUL LADY KNIGHT

gender headcanon: once again i dont have anything too spectacular. shes gods specialest princess and shes never going to die

a ship i have with said character: her and al are pretty cute i guess although im not hyper invested in them

a brotp i have with said character: her and scar are literally everything. she shoupd have been allowed to kill people for disrespecting him on screen

a notp i have with said character: have not seen any mei ships aside from al/mei honestly? Which i mean is. for the best given this fandoms track record

a random headcanon: i envision that part of the reason shes so comfortable adopting random middle aged men is that she was largely raised by her mothers extended family after said mother died in childbirth. her clan is very tight-knit anyway and she's never had a reason Not to trust the adults around her, they all treat her like their own daughter which both gives her a very optimistic view of people in general and also leaves her feeling that deep sense of obligation to return the favor somehow. she knows all their lives are resting on her shoulders and THEY know its fucked up to be relying on a child for something like that but also they dont have much of an alternative. theyre all just trying to do the best they can. I Thinnk About This A Lot

general opinion over said character: mei chang i would kill the sun for you

PANINYA

sexuality headcanon: Romantically Inexperienced Awkward Teenage Lesbian

gender headcanon: i think when she grows up she should get butcher. not the profession. theres too many of thosr in fma already

a ship i have with said character: winry/paninya is really cute....... and honestly i liked their interactions in 03 better than the manga or brotherhood, they should get to be partners in crime and do stupid shit together. wish we got to see more of them hanging out in rush valley

a brotp i have with said character: i like that her and garfiel are buddies

a notp i have with said character: ???

a random headcanon: i fully believe the only reason she had the guns put in her legs was because she thougjt it would be cool. she convinced dominic on grounds of self defense but she absolutely was just thinking wouldnt it be sick if my knees had guns in them

General Opinion over said character: she has such a fun personality and design and i wish, so hard her storyline was different. its agonizing to watch her episode seeing her go yeah so i lost my whole family and home and also my legs in an incredibly traumatizing childhood accident and then an adult man kidnapped me off the street and forced me to undergo painful invasive surgical procedures against my will. But like i can walk again so it was pretty great of him actually and i can only hope to repay his generosity someday. Girl you do not need a random stranger chastising you for stealing from rich tourists. you need therapy to come to terms with the fact that uour right to bodily autonomy was infringed upon,

SCAR

sexuality headcanon: could be gay could be bi i dont really have him pinned down as anything but "very repressed". i dont think hes ever been in a relationship, hes always seemed to have way bigger priorities, but with him i dont feel like that translates to "UNINTERESTED in relationships" because of how much of his character revolves around denying himself comfort and identity. i think if somebody kissed him he would cry

gender headcanon: i dont think hed describe himself as anything besides a man if you asked him, but i also think his experience of gender is also one of those things that got a little foggy and disconnected along with the other identity related baggage. Gender: A Necessary Violence and the Only Means to Achieve It. whatever pride flag goes with that one

a ship i have with said character: still championing my scar/greed agenda

a brotp i have with said character: aside from him and mei, his relationship with his brother is very interesting to me and i like to stir around all the complicated feelings he has to have about that guy in the soup of my mind

a notp i have with said character: ive seen him get shipped with olivier sometimes. Dont really like that one i must say

a random headcanon: when he was a teenager he used to privately write poetry and then got really embarrassed about its perceived amateurish shortcomings and stopped forever

general opinion over said character: the single most interesting and layered character in the whole series honestly and once again i wish we didnt take That Direction with him towards the end. all his thoughts and feelings are so tangled up, i love the way he cant seem to help but attract community and compassion despite how hard he tries to shake it off, whatever he thinks of himself hes still at his core an incredibly kind person clinging to a reason to survive. Save me mr xbox logo

[crazykuroneko]

IWTV S2E5 Musings

Long ass note under the cut, but tl;dr Louis & Old Daniel is my new brotp. Armand can't take it away from me. And Armand has a PhD in gaslighting

• The impersonal statements Daniel pointing out. The implanted phrases Armand supposedly gave to Louis. Somehow my mind recalls the "vampire bond" explanation. The way Louis said it in S1 is like he's reading from a book.

• Current Louis knows Santiago's plotting

• Of course Armand is a lame crypto man ��

• "His methodology is never violent" Oh, Louis

• "Armand preserves my happiness, even when I don't or can't" 🚨

• Louis still likes his coffin lined with a green silk 😭

• Young Daniel acts like a loser. I'm so sorry, I'm trying to take him seriously but he's funny lol

• "You're lonely. You're thrill seeking" Oh he reads him so bad. Why Louis stay with Armand tho?

• Louis and Young Daniel are just saying exactlyyyyy to one another lol

• Louis was agitated when Young Daniel pointed out the use of past tense on Claudia

• Louis is already in suicidal mind set even before Armand comes

• Interesting. The way Louis is reading his thoughts here. As in literal reading. He can't be in Daniel's mind (e.g. seeing what Daniel is seeing), his ability is limited to what Daniel's thinking. And Daniel is not thinking to himself, he just opens the Talamasca recordings right away. Thus Louis can only feel Hesitation from his mind, bu he doesn't know exactly what for

• "You don't have enough to fear from Paris?" On revealing their nature. I knew Louis had the man in the park an Roget. But why does this sound something bigger happened in Paris with the humans?

• "Is it the gremlin or good nurse tonight?" Well, he decided to be both tonight 💀

• "Throw pillow" "Use Claudia just to circle back to Lestat" So rich of him to shade Louis for his guilt over Claudia when he's the one who killed her.

• "It's all coming back" "Paris.." Louis forgets most of Paris?

• "She's calling me" I wonder if Louis is remembering Claudia calling him during her last moments

• No, I don't think Armand expected or waited for Louis to come into the sun like that. But he's definitely MAD because of that

• Armand is on mission to figure out what makes Young Daniel and Lestat interesting to Louis. Because Louis said he's dull

• "An instinct to self-efface" yes, both Daniel and Louis have that

• Armand kept Louis writhing in pain w/o blood for 4 days???

• Not @ Dubai Louis still giving excuses for Armand to Daniel 😭

• Armand calling Lestat. Lestat doesn't know where Louis is. Armand refuses to tell where they are.

• "You try! You were there!" Newfound friends found bickering lol

• "If you want insanity back, if you want to escape this prison of emphaty" Armand really says "Yes, I'm caging you, but you think this is bad? Well, you had it worse with him you wanna go back there??"

• Armand's tone during the coffin scene is very soft, but he's actually making himself clear he's mad MAD. Mad that Louis is trying to goad Lestat back to him again through the interview. Seeing how Louis always fast to reassure Armand with "all I said is trash" about Lestat, this is definitely an old problem to them. It makes me curious what made Louis stay with Armand post-Paris. What happened in Paris exactly? Lestat definitely knows Louis is alive and with Armand, unlike in the books. What has made him stay away? Did Louis pull a Nicki on him in Paris? Edit: wait, what if Armand reaches out to Lestat here is the equivalent of him going to NOLA in TVL and goes "news flash, Louis is actually alive. we were/are together"? Daniel doesn't hear Armand's first sentence to Lestat. and by that time, Louis does know lestat is alive but still numb 🤔 Armand mentions if Louis wants Lestat to chase him again, that's definitely about Lestat coming to Paris after the patricide.

• "All you had to do was ask" he says to the burnt Louis who is in need of his blood. A war flashback to "The silence is cruel. But you're never cruel" but in worse condition.

• Armand, making it clear he is extremely mad at Louis for trying to reach Lestat, that Louis is ungrateful cos he's been treating him better than Lestat, then dangling this channel of communication to Lestat in front of him, making Louis feels bad and coercing him to reassure him again. Armand has a PhD in gaslighting.

• The words from Armand afterwards. Louis certainly knows his answer but well, you can't answer that if you don't want Armand blowing up again.

• Armand only answers Louis back with Maitre once Louis assures him that he will stay with him.

• "I'm a bright young reporter with a point of view" Young Daniel is full of life and optimistic. Stubborn, refusing Armand's words, but they work. Then Louis came, saying it back to him, give him more words to re-find that motivation to live. Give him words to live on.

• Ngl I almost teared up to this scene with Louis and Old Daniel. They're precious as friends.

• To alter and surpress Daniel's memory, Daniel is already under a stage where he's very easy to be influenced and they give more drugs again.

• Old Daniel beeds to stay alive. I want Louis has one (1) friend that call out his and his boyfriend(s)' bullshits 😭

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

An Unwavering Light - Chapter 4

Rating: T/Teen for violence (specifically for descriptions of injuries) and mature themes, including ones about trauma and depression.

Setting: begins before the confrontation with Aizen and co. in Fake Karakura Town arc, and goes from there to the Thousand Year Blood War arc. This chapter takes place during the events of the manga from chapters 392-422

Music to listen to: nothing anymore by Shiro Sagisu (YT | Spotify), Light's Theme by Yoshihisa Hirano and Hideki Taniuchi (YT), Nothing Can be Explained Instrumental by Shiro Sagisu (YT), and Ambered by Bluetile Lounge (YT | Spotify).

Fic synopsis: During the confrontation against Aizen, the unthinkable happens. For Hitsugaya, a vow is broken, and for Hinamori, her future is unknown. With everything in shambles, how can they piece their lives back together? Or their bond?

Chapter synopsis: Hinamori is taken to Twelfth Division to begin her physical recovery. Hitsugaya undergoes Hojiku-Zai and reflects on his regenerated limbs.

AN: Yes that's right! You're not just getting one chapter this time, but two! We have more angst but also some brotp goodness!

I'll say upfront, for anyone worried about there being body horror in this chapter (if you remember what Hojiku-Zai is like, then you know what I mean) rest assured there isn't any here as I don't like writing that sort of thing.

This chapter was intense to write, and I know the next one will be too. It also occurs to me I am posting this on Rangiku's birthday...yay for timing!

Disclaimer: BLEACH and it’s characters belong to Tite Kubo.

<< Prev chapter || Chapter Index || Next chapter >> coming soon

______________________________

When Hitsugaya comes to, the first thing he sees is the sky, and in lower part of his periphery, the towering silhouette of Soukyoku Hill. His mind is hazy for only a few seconds before snapping back to reality.

On either side of him are Fourth Division members, who carry him on a stretcher and don’t notice he’s awake. Despite their rushing steps, he’s barely jostling around.

With a grunt from the ebbing pain, he casts his gaze to the right. Isane walks speedily alongside those carrying him; as she does, she’s calling out orders to those around her. In the gap between her and one of her subordinates, he sees Komamura and Hisagi being carried on stretchers as well.

Where’s Hinamori? He can't sense her reiatsu anywhere. Is she still back in the Fake Karakura Town? The only thought stopping him from trying to get off the stretcher is that Unohana had shown up. She's in safe hands, but it doesn't stop the urgency that thrums through him.

“Captain Hitsugaya, you’re awake!”

He returns his attention Fourth Division’s lieutenant. A few of the surrounding officer glance at him, but are quick to turn their gazes away.

Isane offers him a relieved smile, but her concern keeps it small. “You’re back in the Soul Society, we’re taking you to Fourth Division. We’ve been told Inoue-san will assist with healing our wounded. Given their severity, we can ask her tend to your injuries first.”

 “No,” he rasps out.

Isane blinks, her smile vanishing. “What?”

“Contact Kurotsuchi…I want Hojiku-Zai.”

A flicker of horror crosses over her face. Even the officers carrying him slow their pace and exchange surprised or concerned looks.

“Captain, are certain?” she asks. “Inoue-san shouldn’t be more than a few hours. We can treat your wounds until she arrives and can ask her to see you fir– ”

“I’m certain.” He hadn’t meant to snap, but he can’t afford to wait any longer. “I’m aware of the consequences, Kotetsu. Tell Kurotsuchi if he’s returned, or whoever he appointed to oversee Twelfth Division in his absence.”

She takes in a heavy breath, considering.

He doesn’t have time for this. He can’t be like this for a moment longer. The urgency buzzes along his nerves and he holds on to it, lets it take over his senses.

Eventually, Isane raises her hand, signalling her officers to halt. Then, she bows to him; even as she does this, she winces. “I’ll inform him and Akon-san right away.”

_____________________________________

Hinamori drifts in the darkness. It had been numbing up until a stinging sparks in her eyes. She has no choice but to open them.

She does it slowly, but even then, it doesn’t stop her from grimacing from the brightness of the light. Where is she? Why is it so bright?

Shadows come into the edges of her vision, hazy and moving around her. Then sound returns, and there’s the beeping and humming of machinery. The air is cold, and smells odd. The figures around her are speaking, but she can’t make out what they’re saying.

One of them gets closer. They’re holding something and bringing it towards her face. “Lieutenant…we’re about to…you’ll be out for…”

Their words fade in and out. She’s too weak to speak. She simply stares back at the figure as they put what they hold over her face. Whatever it is, it’s making her return back to the darkness. She doesn’t fight her eyes closing.

_____________________________________

There’s a whirl of machinery that runs through the whole of Twelfth Division. In this room, it’s quieter, a background noise to the comings and goings of division members just outside of the door. Looking around, Hitsugaya suspects it’s an examination room. It’s sparsely furnished, with only a thin mattress over the metal table he sits on, a two-tiered tray that’s been wheeled over to him, and a chair in the corner.

He glances at Hyourinmaru, still dirty with concrete dust and rubble, propped up against the wall at his bedside. He remains silent, but Hitsugaya can sense his seething; at him or something else, he can't tell.

The wall he presses his back against is chilly and gives off a dull shine from the overhead lights. Despite the coldness and strange odors scenting the air, he’s glad to be in a room like this. It’s quiet, the silence in stark contrast to everything that’s happened in the last several hours. There’s also the fact that during the few times he needed to visit, he’d seen other rooms in the division, and tried not to think about what half of the machines in this barracks did.

He shudders. He never thought there would come a day when he’d ask Mayuri for anything. He’d always been conflicted about his fellow captain; on one hand, he has a brilliant mind that has led to leaps in technology for the Soul Society and the work the Shinigami carry out. On the other, his methods were abhorrent and went against most of what he’d once thought Shinigami stood for.

How things had changed. How he had changed. Over the years, and in a matter of a few hours.

The door opens with a low, metallic whine. Hitsugaya is oddly calm when Akon enters the room with two needles and a vial. In the latter is a green liquid that sloshes around as he approaches.

“Captain Hitsugaya,” he says in way of greeting.

Hitsugaya only nods in return.

Akon keeps his expression measured, but Hitsugaya senses a slight hesitation in him. He wonders if he spoke with the Fourth Division member Isane left with him, who stands outside of the room.

“Are you aware of the side effects for Hojiku-Zai?” Akon asks.

“I’ve heard that it’s painful,” he says. “Incredibly painful.”

“It may also lead to small defects, such as aching joints or missing fingers or toes. However, it’s a rare occurrence and your limbs should be the same they were before they were severed, but I feel I should still warn you. Knowing this, do you still want to proceed?”

“Yes.”

Akon comes around to his left side and puts the needles and vial down on the tray. Hitsugaya’s uniform sleeve and pant leg had been cut off by Fourth Division members. Akon removes the several layers of gauze wrapped around his shoulder first. “You’ll want to bite down on something,” he advises, nodding to the folded cloth next to the needles. “It’s far more painful than you realise.”

“Kotetsu numbed my shoulder and leg before I got here.”

“It might help a little, but it will only work so far. I assume she wasn't able to numb every area, given the type of wounds. As such, it likely won’t stop the pain that’s going to come from the regrowth of your nerves.”

“Then what if I was unconscious?”

“It doesn’t work unless you’re awake.”

How Mayuri had come up with his contraptions and procedures often bewildered Hitsugaya. He can’t say he’s surprised that a requirement for something like this involves being conscious. “Very well.”

He grabs the cloth offered to him by Akon and puts it between his teeth. Akon stops on the last layer of gauze and assists Hitsugaya to lie down. He then sticks one of the needles through the vial’s cork top and extracts some of the green liquid. “I’d also advise you to not look, it’s not…pleasant.”

Hitsugaya grunts in ascent. Despite the warning, he eyes the needle as he lays his head back against the mattress. Akon removes the final piece of gauze.

“It will be quick,” he says, but it’s less of an assurance to ease any anxiety Hitsugaya may have and more of an affirmation to what Hitsugaya hoped the procedure will be. He can’t wait for anything else, he needs something quick. He knows pain, has experienced in many battle, and nothing would ever come close to what he'd been gone through only a few hours ago.

As the needle draws closer to his shoulder, he shuts his eyes. With sight gone, he reaches out his senses, picking up on all of Twelfth Division’s reiatsu, but he searches through and over them, until there’s a small fire. She’s further down the hallway, her reiatsu steady but weak.

He’d sensed it earlier when he was being taken by Isane and her officers to Twelfth Division.

“She needs to undergo several operations,” Isane had explained when seeing his stricken reaction. “Minazuki couldn't heal her internal injuries. Once her operations are complete, she’ll be transferred to Fourth Division.”

“When will that be?” he’d asked, voice taut.

Isane’s expression had softened to one of sympathy. “We’re not sure, but Akon-san has estimated up to two weeks.”

Akon's free hand presses down on the gap between his neck and shoulder.

Live, he begs again. You have to live, Hinamori.

Hitsugaya clings on to that plea even as the needle pierces his arm and he bites into the cloth to muffle his scream.

_________________________

Hinamori kept the smile in place even as he turned to go back to his division. She's never been happier for him than in this moment. It wasn't only because he deserved a promotion like this after decades of hard work, but because he'd finally come out of the slump. It's hard not to blame him for getting into one, with his captain vanishing without warning or any clues as to what happened.

She feared he had lost his purpose, but with his shoulders squared and his steps purposeful, any worry that lingered lifted from her heart.

The haori suited him in an odd way. To think a Soul this young could achieve a rank this high, but given his prodigal level in skills and intellect, it shouldn't surprise her. Still, even thought it had been a month since he was appointed captain of Tenth Division, she had to stop herself from doing a double take at the haori and new hairstyle.

She'd get used it in time, and she has no doubt he will be a captain for many decades, maybe even centuries.

But the longer she looked at his receding back, the more a strange sensation crept in. It's one she'd experienced a few times, perhaps even tried to ignore many more. There's a distance between them, one that had began when she started at the Academy.

She'd always known she wouldn't see him around as much, but they're friends, always have been, but it didn't mean they would walk the same path. Certain things, like promotions and her dedication to Fifth Division, made it harder to close this gap between them.

It's not an issue, she told herself when a ting of sadness edged it's way in and damped her smile. They'll be friends be for centuries, until death. So then, when had it gone from knowing that to hoping it can be like that?

________________________

By the time he is taken to his room in Fourth Division, Hitsugaya wants nothing more than to sleep. Unlike others, he had this one to himself and away from the majority of the noise of the division. A faint pain throbbed through his regrown limbs. Without having to tell Isane this, she and another division member wrapped them in bandages coated in the same salve that she used to numb his wounds before.

“Where’s Matsumoto?” he’d asks after she’s finished and her assistant leaves the room. “Is she here?”

“She will be shortly,” Isane says. “She required further treatment from Twelfth Division. Her operation began after you left and shouldn’t take more than two hours. Lieutenant Kira did what he could at the time, but Lieutenant Matsumoto ended up straining herself too much when she came to the Soul Society.”

Hitsugaya’s eyes widen. “She came here during the fight?”

Isane’s lips form a thin, tight line and she avoids his gaze. “I don't knwo why that is, but she'll tell you in time. She’s scheduled to arrive here after her operation. We’ll use extensive kido to ensure she’s discharged in two days time.” She gestures to the bandages. “We’ll remove these tomorrow morning, the pain will have subsided by then. We’ll also perform tests on your limbs to ensure there isn’t any abnormalities. We trust Akon-san’s assessment of the treatment, but we just need to make sure.”

He can only nod.

She bows. “I need to attend to other patients. Dinner will arrive for you shortly. We have officers stationed nearby if require anything.”

He bows his head in return. “Thank you, Kotetsu.”

He barely touches dinner when it’s served to him. Along with no appetite, a sense of nauseous threatens to churn his stomach even at the scent of food. He ignores the concerned look for the officer who comes to collect his dishes several minutes later.

There’s a constant commotion going on outside his room, coming through as muffled rushed footsteps and the occasional shout. He doesn’t pay attention to any of it.

In the silence, with his pain in his limbs numbed, he stares at the ceiling, at the space between two lights, eyes heavy but unwilling to close. He breathes in deeply, quietly. There isn’t a coherent thought going through his mind. Only a series of sensations, wordless and weighing his head down. His chest still hurts, but it’s less of a clenching twist and more of the aftermath of holding something too tightly. It flows out wide, as though he is caught in the ripples of a stone that’s shot through water.

This ache threatens to bring back, in vivid detail, everything that happened today.

I couldn't protect her.

With a fierce shake of his head, he chooses to focus on something else. Hyourinmaru now lays on a table at his bedside. The weapon is only a little bit cleaner, with the hilt and sheath baring smudges of dirty. He makes to reach for his zanpakuto but stops when he's about to move his regenerated limb.

Swallowing thickly, he tilts his head a fraction and stares down at the arm. He’s barely moved the new limbs, and when he did it was involuntarily. He feels and senses everything about them – their weight, the fabric of the dried bandages, the natural coolness of his skin – as if he hadn’t lost them in the first place.

With a strange hesitation, Hitsugaya lifts and bends the arm at the elbow. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. No pain. No odd sensations. As if it were the arm he’s always had. But it isn’t. It’s something entirely new, unknowable yet looking the exact same as before.

_________________________

He’d fallen asleep at some point, but jolts awake in a cold sweat and a cry strangled in his throat. He’d kicked off the sheets and his arms reach out in the air. With his aching heart racing, he barely remembers to breathe. He wipes his hands over his face, trying to get rid of the blood that isn’t there, until he remembers where he is.

It happened all over again.

He swallows back the threat of tears and curls inwards. He keeps his eyes wide open for the rest of the night and into the dawn before a division members comes to check on him.

_________________________

Hinamori awakens in a darker room. There's still the humming of machinery, but there's now a window letting in the first rays of the sunrise. She breathes in, but it's strange. It's air, but thicker and hotter. Something is attached to her face and digging into the sides of her head. A mask, she realises.

She tries and fails to raise a hand to her remove it. She can feel something working within her to keep the pain at bay, but it must be affect her movements too, making them sluggish and heavy.

She looks around the room for someone or for a button to press, but this isn't like any room in Fourth Division. Where is she?

You're in Twelfth Division, Master.

She startles at Tobiume's voice. She's barely perceptible, as though speaking to her through a thick wall. Hinamori raises her head, and immediately regrets it when a wave of dizziness hits her. She lowers her head with a wince. She feels around, until her right hand ghosts across the sheets and bumps into her zanpakuto. The connection between them is tenuous, only made slightly stronger when she wraps her fingers around the blade's sheeth. She chances turning her head, an there lies Tobiume on a stand next to her bed.

"Why...?"

She doesn't finish her question. The word briefly flashes a memory before her eyes, but she can't make out what it is.

Healing...It's the only word she can hear from her zanpakuto.

The darkness has fallen to far for her to drifts back into. She can only stare at the ceiling, waiting for someone to come.

_________________________

The rest of the morning goes by in a blur. Hitsugaya remains seated in bed, staring out the window into an empty courtyard. He can't think a coherent thought, can only languish in a haze that consumes his mind.

Eventually, another officer delivers his breakfast. He's about to send it away when he notices movements over the officer's shoulder.

His eyes widen when he spots Rangiku over the officer’s shoulder.

She stands in the doorway of his room, one arm bandaged and a slouch in her shoulders. What strikes him the most, however, are the dark circles beneath her eyes, the paleness of her skin, and the frizz in her hair.

“Captain,” she says.

The officer – Mori, he remembers now -- finally notices her. “Ah, Lieutenant Matsumoto. Are you alright? Did you need something?”

Rangiku shakes her head. “No, I was coming to visit my captain. I’ll come back later.”

“It’s fine,” Hitsugaya speaks up. “You can come in.”

Mori worries his lip for a second, then bows. “I’ll return shortly.”

Rangiku steps aside for him to leave. Even left lalone, she doesn’t move into the room from the doorway. She leans against it, as if she’d been putting on an act before with how well she really is.

“Are you sure it’s all right for you to be walking around?” Hitsugaya asks.

She says nothing, only meeting his gaze, and it's enough to tell him she has been through something awful. Something has broken within her, like him.

Her gaze softens, and she lets out a short, quiet sigh before righting herself. She nods to his untouched breakfast on his bedside table. “You should eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” he says, not sparing the food a glance.

She walks into the room. Her steps are slow, hiding the unsteadiness he can sense from her. “Still, it’s not good to have an empty stomach," she reasons, "especially at times like this.”

Did she even realise she spoke the words Isshin’s used to tell them whenever they skipped a meal?

“Did you eat yours?” he asks.

That gets a flicker of a smile from her. “You have me there.”

As she sits down in the chair at his bedside, he takes up the bowl of soup and hands it to her. “Then here. I don’t feel like having miso today anyway.”

She blinks at his offering. “I…” She lets out a strange sound, a cross between a humored huff and a withheld sob. “Thank you, Captain.”

She’s quick to take the bowl and start draining it, and he withholds his questioning by eating a piece of tamagoyaki. He leaves two for her, giving her the dish after he’s done with it.

He’s never been like this with her. They look out for each other and ensure each other's welfare, but never like this. It’s never gotten to the point where they are concerned the other hasn’t eaten, to the point where they can barely speak to each other but can still convey without words they’ve gone through something unimaginable.

“How are your arm and leg, sir?” she asks. “Captain Unohana told me you underwent Hojiku-Zai."

There's an additional question there that goes unspoken: Why did you choose that method? He ignores it. “They’re doing tests on them within the hour. After that, they’ll assess whether I can be discharged later today or tomorrow.”

“But how do they feel?”

“Fine, nothing out of the ordinary.” He’d only moved his regenerated limbs to sit up, but otherwise kept them immobile. However, to prove his point, he lifts his left arm. There’s stiffness from keeping it still, making his movements stilted as he raises it. “It’s like nothing happened.”

It feels like a confession, a vulnerable moment he’d normally keep from her. He blames the exhaustion and the wordless thought eddying in his head. He can’t deny, however, that it’s a relief to speak with someone like her. Someone who knows him, has seen him in harder times.

“How are your injuries?” he asks while lowering his arm to his side. He doesn’t want to think back to the fight, but can’t help it as he recalls, “On the battlefield, I sensed your reiatsu change suddenly. You were almost on the brink of death. What happened?”

Perhaps without realising, Rangiku clutches the left side of her waist. “I was attacked by a creature created by those three Arrancar – Ayon I think is what it was called. Kira-kun did what he could. Twelfth finished what he’d started, and then Fourth healed over the rest. It’s all better now, and Captain Unohana said I shouldn’t have any issues.” She raises her bandaged arm. “This is just for scratches and strain. They’ll probably remove it today.”

He gives a nod. “That’s good to hear."

She waits, shoulders tense and fingers lacing together in her lap. She must sense his hesitation and eagerness to ask her further. Is now the best time? If not now, when? If she weren’t here, he’s certain his thoughts would fall back to what happened yesterday or to Hinamori is, helpless to do anything for her. He knows even after he gets out of here, that’s still going to be case. For how long, he can’t predict.

“Something else happened there,” he says, voice gravely. “You vanished from the fight in the Fake Karakura Town. You ended up here, and from what Kotetsu told me, Aizen and Ichimaru did as well.”

She eyes twitch at the mention of Gin’s name. It’s as he suspected, but seeing her reaction makes him change his mind about where to lead this conversation. “I won’t ask you to explain your actions now, but I will in the coming days.”

Her shoulders fall. “Yes, of course.”

He lets out a short breath. Despite the obvious relief that she doesn’t have explain what happened after the vanished, there’s still an air of tension around her, and it’s his turn to wait for her to come out with it.

“They’ll probably be coming to do your tests soon.” He blinks at her words, and all the tautness floods out of him. She makes to stand, as if she hadn’t noticed the tension in the air at all. “I’ll leave you to –”

“You can stay.” She freezes at his offer. “Unless you need to return to your room.”

She hesitates, briefly glancing at the doorway behind her, then sinks back into the chair. “I guess someone needs to make sure you don’t act out.”

It’s as close to normality as he’s gotten in the last twenty-four hours. If this were any other situation he’d lecture her, but instead, he huffs. “That’s my line.”

__________________________________

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[katyspersonal]

Queelign for the ask meme pls lmao

That terrible, terrible man....

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

Favorite thing about them:

The way he is basically suppressed, or lost, little version of Messmer! It is not just that he modelled his weapon after his spear and aspires to be like him, but also the way he speaks of Marika and feels about her! He is very infatuated, loyal and oddly.... naive, considering the context! I absolutely feel like he reflects that more hopeful, more puppy-eyed child Messmer doesn't get to be. Untouched by curse or hatred of abandoned child. I love when character serves like a window into someone else too!

Ignoring this narrative nonsense that I am probably just hallucinating, I just love how sensitive he is. Seeing how he sounds passionate or pathetic or both, I expected him to be a young man, but he is listed as 'mature'! So he is like, around 40! I love me a male who doesn't lose his sensitivity with age... to better or worse. In a better turn of events, he'd be a great poet, I can tell this. :pensive:

Least favorite thing about them:

This is a pain to explain but whereas I love how religious-fanatical he is, I ALSO hate it? He captivated me from the first invasion (as much as I didn't want to admit it), but also I read Crusade Insignia description and was like "ohhhhhh FUCK I reeeeally hate this guy already!!!" hfhghh I suppose, it is fair to be conflicted? He falls for the type of the characters you love in fiction but would dread to meet in real life!!

Favorite line:

"Queen Marika, behold! I have excised another. Another cancer to thy joy." This kind of made me uneasy XD How he is this pathetic and this scary at the same time?

brOTP:

I feel like he and Moonrithyll would be friends! ….that are constantly bickering with each other. XD Whereas he is very fixated on Messmer and aspires to be like him, with Moonrithyll it is similar with Rellana! Rellana believes that sky and fire should be together, after all, and Moonrithyll respects trolls as descendants of Fire Giants more than she does as just loyal friends to Carians.

But whereas things between Messmer and Rellana are very good and settled, Moonrithyll constantly lets the attitude of "pledging to the Erdtree was a cringe phase for us, at least thanks to Messmer we are soooo back baby 😎" slide. Before Queelign. *million skull emojis* But despite them often fighting, they are not enemies. In fact, maybe frienemies? They have long conversations (mostly about their leages lol) that they enjoy a lot, and they have fun... until one of them says something they really should agree to disagree on already. -_- Queelign doesn't because he is too petty to not remind everyone how he is the only one to "really" respect Marika, Moonrithyll doesn't because she is honest to a fault!

OTP:

I actually really like to think about him and Messmer? Help me??

^^^ Messmer and Rellana are canonically a thing, apparently, so it is somewhere in AU drawer... but still!! There are just... a lot of things between them.

^^^ Queelign is the only Fire Knight that seems to have been "spared" by Messmer's curse; he doesn't have red hair and trademark red cape! And I like to think this is deliberate. That Messmer cherishes his "innocence", seeing him as little naive version of self. He could not take that away from Queelign, nor ruin the hair color so golden, nor he wants Queelign's heart to break upon learning that true nature of Messmer's Flame comes from something existing as anathema to the Erdtree.. He never got to be a person so blinded with faith in Marika's love, but he can allow Queelign to be this...

At the same time, Messmer pities him sometimes. He sometimes feel bitter and hurt when Queelign goes on the rant about Marika's "boundless love" and "sure return someday" and wants to snap at Queelign. He has dark enjoyment pushing Queelign to think of dread of Marika's hatred and neglect and watch him break down and cry, as Messmer is almost dead inside nor he physically can have tears. He wants him to cry for them both. He also wants to comfort him. He is uncomfortable with Queelign wanting to be just like him. He also finds solace in it because Queelign gets to be a version that isn't cursed. He cherishes his naivete. He also sometimes wants to obstruct this little sunshine and curse him too but restrains himself. There are many conflicting feelings.

And yeah, it looks a bit one-sided, right? :p Messmer has such an internal conflict over Queelign, whereas the other just admires him and thinks being like him is epitome of a proper Marika's follower. But all Fire Knights know Messmer very well, and he is not an exception. Queelign is very insistent on Marika's holiness and perfection with anyone else, but when Messmer allows his suppressed hatred and knowing Marika will never embrace them again slide? Queelign argues for his sake and not hers. He genuinely hates to see him despair. The contrast between Queelign being very sensitive and Messmer becoming oddly cold for a fire wielder is also fun x)

They have a lot of tension between them most of the time, but deep down they both know. Messmer is not stingy with affectionate words for people he trusts and values, and Queelign is no more afraid to disagree with him than one would with a very moody friend. He can tell that he has special rights even compared with other Fire Knights despite not being given direct "communion" with his flame, and when Messmer tells him it is because he cherishes him the way he is, Queelign believes that.

nOTP:

Either I live under a rock or fandom is yet to invent ships for Queelign to BEGIN with. xD I legit don't know which ship for him would be bad? I'll know it when I see it, I suppose...?

Random headcanon:

He constantly fucks up cooking. Like, there is no way he doesn't ruin his meals. When it is not misinterpreting recipe or adding too much due to simple clumsiness, it is that he got distracted or lost in thoughts about Marika's grace. 🙄 Every time he is determined that he WILL focus and do it right, and every time he fails. When things are inedible, like, it is charcoal or looks dangerous, he resorts to making puppy eyes to other Fire Knight so they share their food with them gghkugg They are used to it! Hilde even used to cook a bit more dinner than she needed, fully expecting him to drop by!

Unpopular opinion:

Look, I do like jokes about his haircut, I am not humorless! AND I love this cursed image from Reddit proving "that he only looks bad because of his haircut":

( x ) gfhghgb but- I disagree with allowing it to brush an interesting character aside!! Jokes are fun, but making whole character a joke isn't 😔💔 He deserves his place amongst other "fanatics who simpmaxx" like Lautrec, Alfred and Leda, and should have many bitches same as THEM!!

Song I associate with them:

Ironically, not the depth of introspection I see him reaching any time soon.

Favorite picture of them:

I can't really find Queelign fanart, let alone chosing a favourite tbh.. Myself, I have like, four WIPs featuring him, but you know me, I finish like two drawings per year at BEST. Scarlet Rot Depression eaten away my artist poweeerrrr...

Thank you for asking!! Lmao I can't shut up about this man

[eidolonshiva]

For the character thingy! Do your favorite hashira.

I have a three-way tie, so I think I'll go with Kyojuro for this one!

Favorite thing about them:

Kyojuro is the kind of person who puts the needs and comfort of others above his own. Even as he lay dying, he never lets his pain show. Instead, he maintains a calm demeanor and offers words of encouragement to Tanjiro.

Another thing I love is how much he cares for his younger brother. When he speaks to Senjuro, he always kneels down to be eye level with him and gently squeezes his hand to comfort him. It's a small gesture, but it shows the kind of person he is.

Least favorite thing about them:

Although I cannot overstate how much I love the fact that they made him hearing impaired, as someone who gets anxious about loud noises his voice can be stressful at times.

Favorite line:

It's pretty standard at this point, but "Set your heart ablaze."

brOTP:

As much as I love that Kyojuro and Tengen are besties, I would like to see his relationship with Obanai explored more. We know that Shinjuro brought Obanai back to the Rengoku estate after rescuing him and I would like to think that he became an honorary member of the family. I think Kyojuro's outgoing personality helped Obanai to open up a bit. I would have loved to see some montages of the two of them growing up as adopted brothers.

OTP:

I think we can all agree that Akaza was down bad for our favorite fireboy. The bedroom eyes, licking his arm, using his first name? Akaza, you dirty dog.

Other than that, I like when people pair Kyojuro with an oc.

nOTP:

I don't understand the people who ship Kyojuro with Mitsuri. It just seems forced to me. Men and women can have a close friendship without it having romantic undertones. Also, since Kyojuro was friends with both Mitsuri and Obanai, I like to imagine that he played matchmaker.

Random headcanon:

Due to his father's alcoholism, I think Kyojuro would abstain from drinking outside of the occasional ceremonial sake.

Unpopular opinion:

A lot of Kyojuro's personality is a facade. He puts on a wide smile and takes on the role of the hero that he's supposed to be, the hero he promised his mother he would be. The only time we see this fake smile fall is when Enmu puts him under the sleep spell. Even in what is supposed to be the happiest dream he can imagine, his father still isn't proud of him.

Song I associate with them:

"Arsonist's Lullaby" from Hozier is perfect for him.

When I was a child, I'd sit for hours Staring into open flame Something in it had a power Could barely tear my eyes away

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

Favorite picture of them:

The one of him with his crow is so pretty.

Bonus side tangent: My cat, Freddie Mercury, hates his fictional man with a passion. Whenever Kyojuro is on screen, he will run from the room. He will fluff-up and flee whenever he sees any figures of him (and since this is my girlfriend's favorite character, we have a lot.)

We have a glass curio cabinet where most of our figures reside. The bottom shelf is where our kimetsu mini figurarts live, and we have nearly the whole set. Well, Freddie Mercury found the Kyojuro figure, lined himself up to make sure he was aiming right for it, and pressed his anus right against the glass.

[zedleaked]

AXIS MODEL 014 for the character ask thingy

favourite thing about them

I LOVE GRUMPY ROBOTS.. he is so silly and angry and funny the fucking thing... I love when robots are in love and kind of questionable...

least favourite thing about them

I dunno if it was just me that struggled with his chase sequence but that was a huge pain in the ass oufghgf

favourite line

"THE SHIMMER. THE COMPLEXION. THE C U R V E S."

and honorable mention: "7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN..."

brOTP

Methinks Dalv and Axis could get along as a treat :3 they can bond over the fact that they're loners,, maybe Dalv feels sorry that Axis was forced to kill the integrity human [especially since Dalv was there was Kanako was attacked]... methinks if they ever met he would invite Axis to his new home in Snowdin [maybe Axis helps him out with renovating his house,,,] and Dalv just listens to Axis talk about his spouse and how his life is going... my guy needs other people to talk to and I feel the silly vampire would be willing to listen to his woes

OTP

Axis and his spouse [Daisy] I suppose,, bro is enamored with that little thang,, he is going to do peculiar things with them

Also Axis and Trashy is really funny to me,, he loves anything that resembles garbage

nOTP

Eh I'm open to whatever as long as its not Clover [in romantic context]

His mechanical heart is reserved for his spouse,, maybe Guardener too if he really feels like it

random headcanon

When Axis said 'ROBOTS CANNOT CRY, I HAVE TRIED' I think the time he tried to cry was when he killed the integrity human [since he's shown to show remorse for killing them in the genocide route] Like he tried so hard to mourn but he just couldn't... the poor thing...

unpopular opinion

I dunno if he's been alive long enough for there to be any unpopular opinions but erm,, I wish we got to interact with him more after he calmed down,, like all we got was when you backtrack to see him on a date with his spouse but I need more..... I guess I gotta get writing

song I associate with them

Brass Goggles by Steam Powered Giraffe... me when the robots question why they have emotions......

favourite picture of them

this is a gif but I still find it really funny

[buriedknight]

sister Frida

Thank you for asking!

Favorite thing

Friede is a tall nun with scythes

Friede is one of my comfort characters! And by that, in her case, I mean that I really love drawing her because it comforts me. I was going to give you a longer lore-wise answer because I enjoy her story a lot, but if I'm being honest, as an artist I just love working with Friede, and that's my favourite thing about her.

Least favorite thing

I like pretty much everything about Friede but I don't entirely get her deals with Ariandel. It is intriguing but still too vague for me, I'd like their relationships to be defined a bit more clearly.

Favorite line

Tis only the flame, quivering at misguided Ash. Please, avert thine eyes. I will snuff out these ashes for good.

brOTP

Of course Friede's weird relationships with her sisters, especially with Yuria since we don't know much about Liliane. I believe they used to be the most important people to each other, and built their church not only based on their faith and old traditions, but also on their sistership, on combination of their strenghts. They relied on each other a lot and worked together in a really effective way. So the day Friede saw another aim was very bitter. From their dialogues I got the impression that it is still painful for Yuria, since she uses unusually personal and emotional vocabulary (she literally called Friede "poor wench"). As for Friede, I think she still respects her sisters' work and aim, but sees herself somewhere else.

OTP

I'm pretty basic but sir Vilhelm. BUT almost one-sided and doomed. I think he knows that and pretty much accepts. Friede has certain feelings for her knight but her aim has always been more important to her so she never answers to his longing.

nOTP

I don't have any? In general I just don't follow headcanons in which romantic/erotic love means a lot to her. But beside that I don't care about most of the ships 🤷

Random headcanon

I headcanon Yuria to be a master swordswoman, Liliane the scholar (Hildegarde von Bingen of Londor if you would), and Friede — the leader. Her was the first idea to gather the Church of Londor, and that's why her leaving was so painful. It was only natural for her to take the mantle of the Lady of the painting.

Also i'm putting all my comfort characters somewhere on the aroace spectrum and she is there too!

Unpopular opinion

Same with Ludwig, I haven't interacted with Dark Souls discourse for a while so I don't know what's the popular opinion of her now. From what I've seen I don't like her tsundere-ish reading, I think she is just very determined and tired.

Song i associate with them

Die Verbannten Kinder Evas — Dusk And Void Became Alive (vibes of her in the Painted World)

Favorite art

I think I've lost my fav art so here's another cool art of Friede

[jajatoc]

Ooh for the OC ask thing, how about Radahn or Clara?

Oh mygod I'm so glad you asked. I Will reflect on them both if you'll have me!!! Both very misunderstood and gorgeous characters of their own right.... putting them side by side makes me smile

Clara (the Changeling)

favorite thing about them - Clara as a concept is perhaps my favourite thing to ever come out of Pathologic (and in a piece of art so impossibly rich of different themes it is really saying something!!!!)- I love her presentation, a little girl who crawls out of the very earth from a foggy graveyard, teeth and nails and earth like any other little girl. She knows her name but not what her purpose is. She wills an evil twin sister into being (kind of) because she is so scared of disappointing her potential adoptive dad. Her adoptive mother wishes she was her so bad. She is constantly being used by everyone even if no one can trust her. She cannot prove herself to be true and sicere to the people that won't trust her because she really is supernatural, there really is something else going on with her, and she has to face the same dismissals that any little girl has to face nonetheless. She risks her life every day to meet and stop her sister in the heart of the plague. She has to baby two grown adults just so that they don't kill each other and maybe be the least bit helpful (they aren't). Her worst fear is disbelief in her. All of her followers had a death wish even before they had met her. Her only weapon are her hands or the shittiest derringer in the universe. She has both the most limited and the largest vision of the world between the three protagonist. She gets premonitions and says things that the player would never know so much so that playing as her is an alienating experience. She weaves the threads of the town on the tips of her fingers. Her stasis is both risky and sickly and so, so hopeful and sincere. I would offer her my own blood for her ritual if she asked.

Aside from this rant, I really enjoy her character design, especially in pathologic 2 (it's one of the best designs in the remake I think): the baldness of a saint and a sickness, the naive mismatched and ripped clothes she was born in, the bones weaved in her scarf, her bare hands (the only ones like this between the protagonists in classic, I must underline).

least favorite thing about them - I dislike nothing about her! I sincerely wish her route wasn't so overlooked because it shows the bound's varying faces so well. Her flaws are those of a very religious little girl... the trust she has to have in herself is both traitorous and holy. The Humbles are definitely my favourite characters, and their bond with Clara baffles me and deeply interests me: for some of them it's an unexpected choice that grows to feel inevitable as their story progresses. Their suffering becomes defining acceptance.. surely not healthy, but undeniably an end. They are all such great characters it's actually physically painful when I think about it!!!

favorite line - AAAAGH. IT'S A TEXT BASED GAME. HOW CAN I CHOOSE. Aside from the obvious "If we ourselves are to suffer deception our hands are no longer tied.." etc etc.. I really enjoy a small line her sister speaks when greeting her: "You're so sweet; such eyes... They're not like mine at all." They make me sick. What if your sister was a sickness and you could not save her and she was also you. What then.

brOTP/OTP/nOTP- I really enjoy the relationship of both awe and fear between Grace and Clara (and the Albino). I don't know if I see it as something romantic, or if I see Clara interested romantically in anyone at all besides. I don't know how to feel about Commander Block's writing. I don't think it was ever meant to be seen as romantic (gross?), but I can't deny that in meeting the Changeling Block experiences some kind of spiritual rapture. It's hard to hope that his religious devotion could develop into fatherly attachment as he intends in making Clara some kind of secret army weapon. But nonetheless. I would hope for Clara to one day be able to distance herself from the events that transpired in the town... even though her and it are so intertwined that it could perhaps be more harmful to her. Unlike the previous sand pest epidemic-impersonation (Sabha Usptae<3) Clara has greater prospects! Strangely, she has much less ties with the kin, and being a mistress seems more fitting to her.

random headcanon- I love how the fandom often portrays the two sisters as having one the classic hd design and the other the patho 2 design. So beautiful and true. Who is who? More of this please.

unpopular opinion- HUH I have no idea. Perhaps I would love to see more art of her being truly unsettling (as she is and deserves) more than just the silly magical girl. I myself haven't contributed that much to that so I can't judge anyone (also artists can do whatever they want<3 who even am I).. but I really love to see it!! I recognize of course that just a single faceted interpretation of her is wrong, and I love when people play with her characterization.. (she is indeed a little girl with fears fit to her age risking her life every day, facing accusations and direct harm based on superstitions... but she is also the town's anger manifested, a witty Cheshire-cat ish character, an interlocutor of the player, a hero playing against herself, a cryptid, a magical girl.... she can be whatever she wants<3)

song i associate with them - ERM. I haven't made a character playlist in years. But she can get Same Man I Was Before by Oingo Boingo she deserves it. Also Disappearing from the Patho 2 ost always reminds me of her somehow :)

favorite picture of them - I MAY HAVE TWO. I really love early concepts of Clara for classic even if I'm not really rocking with the absurd miniskirt. But art made by meethos is always so cool (hope IPL still has them on board for Patho 3). The second one was made by hayheadd on here if I'm not mistaken. Quintessential Clara

General Radahn (what a followup!)

{I've only very recently gotten into Elden ring, and it really blew me away. The artistry behind its every aspect, its art direction, its very refined combat programming, its soundscape, and most of all its writing.. It's undeniably charming even from the perspective of someone very unfamiliar with soulslikes (like me.. I only had a vague knowledge of Bloodborne before) or even games of that scale in general! I am usually skeptical of seeking extreme realism in modern games but man, I'm willing to make an exception if it's used so incredibly. Having said that... there is not a single main character I dislike. I hadn't had this much fun with a fucked up family of this size in a while!}

favorite thing about them- For me It's hard to map a character out when there is so little ever mentioned about them like in Radahn's case. Nonetheless, I think it was exactly his lack of a proper voice to strike me dead. Paradoxically, his story is about the loss of identity and agency (among other things.. like stagnation, stasis). He is a man presented as someone so powerful that he has lost any semblance of identity- every action he ever did has been sung about so much so that he has become more a title than a person. He has become his actions. What lies beyond all of this? Some things we can surely discern from his relationships and item descriptions. His relationships with his Carian siblings, for whom he seemed to bear mutual respect (thinking about the gorgeous painting of a mature Radahn in Volcano Manor..... and the halting of the stars, who remains ever the mystery); with his horse, which, while endearing, seems to further underline his themes of stasis and preservation (how different these siblings are! Stagnation, Treason, Abandonment.... the moon siblings.......); with his soldiers and men, who greatly regarded him; with Miquella...

I should probably talk about my favourite thing about him though now! It probably is. His presentation in the base game. The early Caelid area is a mess, very loud and aggressive, so the walk to Redmane Castle on its relatively detatched peninsula really impressed me with its stillness. The silent tragedy of battles fought in days past, only remembered by carcasses and weapons strewn around. The battered bridge, the relatively anonymous castle itself.. it greets you with a tension that could be cut with a knife. I cannot describe how much the atmosphere does the right job here. From the deafening silence a low choir emerges, a song of Honour and mourning that whispers the tale of all the warriors who gave their life to Radahn and of whom only remain the weapons, hung everywhere in Redmane. A song that doesn't carry resentment, only the weight of the innumerable deaths who still failed to end one's stasis. The respect it carries really struck me. Redmane feels like entering a mausoleum more than any other place in the Lands Between. Of course Jerren's voice and the cutscene it triggers are also insane... but it's the ost that does it for me.

Aside from the Song of Honour, which I fully count as a Radahn theme, his other two osts are so cool (i cannot describe. How much i love The Promised Consort. God)... and I would really love to get into them further!! But I'll!!!!! Restrain myself!!!!!!!! Even if I'll have to mention.. the gorgeous reversed horns? Strings? That can be heard setting the pace for the Starscourge Radahn ost. They are perfect in every way.. they remind me both of his gravitational magic and of the marching of soldiers. Also, if I'm not mistaken, similar seemingly reversed notes can be heard in Rennala's theme.. (if I haven't imagined them. Which is totally plausible. Tehees)

least favorite thing about them- How little we actually know about him! Radahn is a demigod who's actions seemingly impact the world on a much smaller scale than some of his siblings..

favorite line- I wish. I wish we could hear his voice in any way. God.

brOTP/OTP/nOTP- Well!! I have a lot of feelings towards the Carian siblings and their parents. For some reason I've convinced myself of Radahn being the youngest of the siblings, the one who might have known Radagon much more in passing than the other two, perhaps explaining his deep longing and high regard for the traditions of the Golden Order. His father despised his own red hair, while Radahn sported it with pride, knowing it had before belonged to a champion. Imagining him growing a mentality so different from his defiant siblings makes me wonder about his relationships with them. Rykard seemed to hold him dear, keeping a portrait of him in his manor even after the shattering (the only other portaits hung being of him and his dear consort). Ranni's wishes to free the stars from his grasp, while surely mostly focused on allowing her fate to unfold... perhaps held the hope of finally letting her brother escape his suffering. Aaubgh.

The whole Promised Consort mess and tragedy has been living in my mind for a while, and I really don't know what to make of it. I've seen people discuss how even if Radahn had agreed to the vow, he would have not agreed to the means through which Miquella went to achieve his presence in the shadow realm. As I personally see it It's all surely... very convoluted to be a willing vow on both sides, and the one thing that most strikes me as odd is the confrontation in Caelid between Malenia and Radahn during the shattering. For her to have to remind him about his vow... something must have happened to make him stray from it. And I don't think it was just the shattering itself. Why did Miquella wait so long to make Radahn his Consort (aside from his attempted regeneration free of curse/discarding of the self) so much so he had to reincarnate him as the version of him he believed most fitting, younger, free of rot (a sickness which Miquella himself caused by proxy!), not to mention through a body that didn't even belong to Radahn in the first place in a reversed Ranni/Godwyn ordeal? Waiting for Luminary Mohg's death only in soul and of Radahn's death only in body to this time insert his soul into Mohgwyn's body (the Mohg situation is also an entirely different can of worms I won't open rn)??? It's so complicated, and if this situation isn't somehow motivated by... also the process of getting into the shadow realm (????) which I imagine would be very troublesome... I don't know. I can't deny that all of the Radahn defenders screaming that the vow couldn't ever have been mutual bother me a bit... (it's not even just about his "undying loyalty to the golden order" which is.. debatable) and I see how Miquella is complex to blame at all since he was and remained cursed with perpetual nascency (aka: he's a child). His fall from grace is beautifully described in the dlc... the discarding of all that made him close to human and loved in the Lands Between, his compassionate good nature undeniable (in his care for Malenia and Godwyn and for all the peoples oppressed by the Golden Order) before the drastic measures he undertook to reach his goals. It's a touchy subject for the community and I too don't feel too comfortable discussing it, since I understand Miquella's writing yet can't help but wonder about Radahn, voiceless, refusing to die for the longest time with the excuse of honorable death. Was it also to prevent his inevitable passing to the shadowlands? Why not let himself die sooner if he had agreed to his consort's wishes? I can't help but wonder, and I'm sure many things slipped from my mind.

The whole Lord Consort thing is even more interesting when put into context along with Marika's consorts. Loyal hounds (or lions), hands through which Marika enacted her power across the lands. Imagining her relationships with Godfrey and her Other self... I wonder how Miquella interpreted it. The way he understood his age of Compassion needed the hand of a Lord to impose it, on top of his charm. I wonder of the image of him Miquella wants to preserve, and of the use he sees fit for Radahn.

All of that said.. I really like the relationship he had with Jerren in the base game before the rot nuke... loyalty that persists beyond death, disfigurement, war...

random headcanon- I have two! The first is from an unused item description for the Longtail cat talisman.. the one who reduces fall damage. It once mentioned the name of the cat it depicted as Lacrima, and her owner as Radahn himself. I love this information so much. I don't know why, maybe I didn't see him as a cat person, or as much of a person at all before I knew this, and it opened my eyes on the potential of his character, on a Radahn free of war or rot or schemes, just the flawed person he could have been underneath. I'm really fond of him now. The second is very silly! I wonder how Radahn felt about Ranni getting to have a Shadow like Blaidd when he admired Godfrey and Serosh so much. I wonder if he has ever been a little jealous!!!

unpopular opinion- I don't know what the popular opinions are! He's surely a very.. seemingly unapproachable character at first. Or at least it was how I felt about him for a while. It's fun to imagine him outside of the situation he's found himself in, as it is with most of the ER demigods, before the shattering, in moments of peace (without a helmet!).

song i associate with them- He's.. The Man Who Sold The World (the Midge Ure version).

favorite picture of them- Of course, I'm very fond of Radahn's portrait in Volcano Manor. It's so respectful, both in its positioning and framing. The second picture is by vnllbn on twt..

There are lots of things which I'm sure I forgot to mention... forgive me for any inaccuracies and for the ungodly amount of time it took for me to answer and thank you so much for your kind ask!!!

[bytedykes]

Hewwo! Yue Qingyuan seems to be a special guy to you, so him for the ask game ✌️

Sexuality Headcanon: gay but i think he's too depressed to date. he has emotional erectile dysfunction

Gender Headcanon: cis man 😔 ive thought about transfem yqy before too but i dont really see him going anywhere with it. he doesnt have time for self exploration he has a sect to run and also all this unspeakable misery

A ship I have with said character: hehe... mqf/yqy... i like them... its really niche but @pathos-logical and i initially thought of it as a joke but it's so serious now. doctor sexy x worst patient EVERRR !! i dont have anything concrete to say about this ship they just eat my brain

A BROTP I have with said character: i actually really like his canon relationship with sqq, even though we only ever really see how sqq thinks of him. yqy reminds sqq of his own older brother which i think is really sweet and also sad :( i also think yqy would like sqq as his own person, if it ever came out that sqq isnt sj. i mean he already likes him but like independently of shen jiu i do think they could have a good relationship

A NOTP I have with said character: QI/JIU. i don't ship them. words cannot communicate how much i don't ship them. i knowww that they're in a danmei fitting all the bl tropes but like i don't want it and i don't see it and i just do not ship it. i find them much much more compelling as a platonic relationship. fandom has also highkey ruined any warm feelings i might have had toward romantic yqy/sj because of the way people popularly portray them - i think the way a lot of people write qi/jiu is very sj-centric and often not very in line with what i think is accurate yqy characterization (also i don't like sj for similar fandom mischaracterization reasons but w/e). but that's just my opinion !

A random headcanon: i think he would be sooo good with babies i think it would be awesome to put a baby in that man's arms and have him hold it for a while. also a mandated beach vacation wouldn't fix him but it would greatly benefit him. also i think he has chronic pain from xs + the qi deviation and his spirit veins are all fucked up and who does he talk about this with? no one <3 <3 <3 #1 sufferer in silence

General Opinion over said character: i fucking love this mankjghilsadhkads IM SUCH A SUCKER for fucked up tragic characters who are stuck in a pit of eternal misery ok i eat that shit uppp. i really like how yqy's narrative is that ultimately he did his best and tried so hard and failed anyway and then could never bring himself to defend himself despite it not being his fault and that's the tragedy. he blames himself so so bad and he will never say anything because he doesnt feel he deserves to!!! the decades long miscommunication with the person who matters most to him is also soooo. ugh. he makes me crazyyy!!! i really like how he's a very flawed, complex person, who is kind and caring but also the #1 enabler on this goddamn mountain. his indirect treatment of lbh is really interesting to me too. i love yqy he sucks so bad <333

ty for the ask!!! you're right he IS a special guy to me and i love him soo much <3

[nestastits]

Heyyyy!!!

I've got two questions

Favourite Nessian moment EVER

2. One thing you'd like to see in the next book

Have a good day 💕

Sorry it has taken me so long to answer this 😣.

1: Literally every scene 😭. There are so many. They are so special to me for so many reasons. But if I had to choose just one for this post I will have to go with the nightmare scene in acosf.

The nightmare was where we see the affect cassian has on Nesta and her power. Which I find very interesting. I sort of see Nesta’s power as more of its own thing. Like it has a mind of its own. I guess like a Venom type situation? If you’re a marvel fan you’ll understand my reference🤣. But Nesta can still tell it what to do. Anyways, in this scene Nesta is lost in her memories that have turned into nightmares and Rhys can’t break through her shields. He can’t contain her power either. It is Cassian who calms Nesta down with his voice and touch. And her power answers in return to him. It calls out when it hears him. And Nesta reaches out for him too. The morning after Nesta remarks on how it was Cassian’s voice that she followed to safety enough to let her mental shields down for Rhys to get her out of the nightmare. Then she talks about how Cassian looked like one of the warrior-princes from one of her childhood books which I thought was a very tender moment considering how harsh Nesta’s childhood was. And I’ve always seen Nesta as a romance reader (with some smut thrown in of course) dreaming of having her own warrior prince and now she finally has one. It’s also a scene where we first see Nesta allow herself to cry for how much someone else cares for her which is a breakthrough in her healing. Cassian also shows how much he cares for her during this scene and how uncomfortable he was seeing her in pain.

2: Honestly idk 😅. The next book could be an Elucien or Gwynriel book or potentially another Nesta book with the foreshadowing of hofas and sjm herself saying acosf was only Nesta’s happy beginning. But logically I think it will be an Elain/lucien book which I am all for!

As much as I love Night Court I’m hoping Elain will be the one to leave since she isn’t meant for that court anyways. Elain is definitely either a day court or spring court girly! I hope we see her really come into herself and see what’s in her mind. I think her story will be much different from her sisters’ because of her being the one who actually holds resentment towards being turned Fae. Elain loved her human life, she was content in marrying having children and growing old and dying. And now? Now she has to learn to live forever and what challenges come with it. She lost the only chance she had at happiness even if Graysen was yucky, she did love him and I think he loved her to an extent too. Or at least the idea of her. I’m also excited to be in Lucien’s pov finally! And I’m curious at how the bond between them will play out considering Elains wariness of it. I want a Elain x Eris brotp too😤.

I also think Elain is not a fan of the bond because she has a want to be seen by someone for who she is not because fate drives them together. I think it will be hard on her because she is already aware of the bond and it’s snapped in place. While I don’t think she is outright jealous of her sisters, maybe just a little envy? Imagine you and your sisters all getting mates but only you have the knowledge of knowing who yours is before you even actually meet them 😭 especially after being turned far through drowning in an oversized cooking pot. I’d be skeptical too. Plus Feyre and Nesta got the chance to know their mates without the pressure of the mating bond always being there, it didn’t snap in place for them until after becoming friends with their mates. But Elain and Lucien’s bond is already snapped in place, at least I think it is🤷🏼‍♀️. I understand how afraid and angry she probably is of having a Mating bond. Especially since she did excel at being human and wanting a human life. But like Feysands and Nessians bonds Elucien will fall in love with one another too. But I want Elain to live her life and go on her own journey before she jumps into a relationship with anyone.

Lastly, I need background Feysand as parents with baby nyx. I am not a fan of pregnancy trope but I’ll make an exception for cute bat baby nyxie. And of course my Nessian. I need all the soft background Nessian I can get. I need them sitting on the couch together laughing or eating chocolate cake of course. And I want to know how Elain feels about this and what goes on in her mind when she sees her sisters happy with their mates and fae life.

Hope this helps, and have an amazing day too 🫶🏻

[waytooinvested]

Fandom creators tag game

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of? Mostly I write fanfiction. Sometimes I make little needle felted character dolls. Over all proudest is probably still The Hands I Used to Touch (Call the Midwife), but for my current fandom (Supergirl) it's Forgotten, Not Forgiven, as that is my latest big project and home to all the fluffy supercorp that I need in my life (okay not in the published chapters but IT WILL BE EVENTUALLY I PROMISE)

2. What fandom(s) do you create for? Right now just Supergirl, and I have only written three fics for that one so far (but hopefully more to come!) Before that it was Call the Midwife.

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it? Supercorp, ie Kara/Lena for Supergirl (I know, I’m so quiet about it on this blog you would never have guessed). It occupies an interesting space of being simultaneously entirely non controversial in that it is by far the biggest ship I have ever engaged with, while also being extremely divisive, both within and beyond fandom spaces. But I arrived here LONG after most of that had happened, and am now just happily playing in the sandpit of creative space while the bones of drama stay *mostly* buried. Always a bit of a shock when one rises up to try and kick down your sandcastle though (yes, I am aware that that is a mildly horrifying visual)

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon? They are not (TECHNICALLY), but there is enough raw material in canon to build The São João Baptista, and that is enough for me. That and the 21,302 (and counting) fics with their relationship tag on AO3.

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you? The first I actually engaged with other fans over was Call The Midwife in my early 20s, and that was because I snapped after seeing one too many tv lesbians get hit by a car.

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date? Unhinged is not really my brand so I don't really have anything good for this one. Is Kara gets accidentally miniaturized unhinged? Or a bait and switch Lena "villain" arc? I think probably not really to either, but that's the closest I've got for this fandom so far...

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it? The aforementioned incident between Delia and a car, which left her with amnesia and taken away to Wales mere moments after she and Patsy had moved in together. But I’m over it. Honest.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations? Not usually, I get shy about it. The exceptions are my wife (but we met via fandom so that one maybe doesn’t count) and on occasion my best friend, who talked me round by being an enthusiastic sweetheart.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made? A few people have made fan art for my fics and it felt like the absolute highest compliment that could be paid to my writing. It was amazing to know that something I wrote meant enough to people to inspire them to go and create their own thing from it, and I loved getting to see other people’s takes on the version of the characters/story I had created. I think it's one of the best things about fandom communities! But I do understand why other people might feel differently about something they have poured so much of themselves into making, so I guess the main thing is trying to be respectful with it, crediting the source, and accepting people's boundaries. Basically I think we should all just be kind to each other and have fun.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations? I'm generally seeking my own catharsis through writing fix-it fic for painful things that happened in canon, so I guess a certain amount of pain followed by the eventual fluffy feel good satisfaction of resolution, but honestly I consider it a win if I can evoke a whole spectrum of emotions along the way.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it? Someone once liked my fic so much that she married me about it, so it’s hard to beat that haha. But on a more usual level, people making fanart for my fic was a HUGE one. And also just when people have left particularly in depth comments, commented on every chapter, told me they're rereading or that a fic of mine was their favourite etc... Basically just knowing that something I made has really meant something to someone gives me all of the warm fuzzy feelings, and I am very grateful to each and every person who has taken the time to tell me so!

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!) Originally I had the bouquet toss ficlet by @fazedlight here, because it just captures the characters so beautifully, but then I left this sitting in my drafts and it is now more than 24 hours ago that I saw it, so I'll add this adorable art by @awaitingrain, because LOOK AT IT! They are so cute??! Also I relate to gentle nomming as a display of affection XD

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share) "Lena Luthor was dangling from the side of a cliff, nothing between her and the vast chasm of space below but the small jutting nodule she was clinging to to keep from falling.

How the hell had she ended up here?

Well. She knew how of course.

Kara Danvers was how."

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several) SO MANY!! it’s hard to pick a favourite of hers honestly because she is a RIDICULOUSLY good writer, but I’m going to go with The Next Best Thing by @cynicalrainbows. I don’t tend to read many kidfics but this one is the absolute best I have come across, she captures the child perspective fantastically well while also being incredibly engaging and entertaining to an adult reader. It is what successfully pulled me into reading Six fanfic despite (at that point) never having seen the musical. Even if you haven’t either, I wholeheartedly recommend checking it out. Or go and read her new Paperdolls fic and help grow that fandom, which I think currently has all of two people in it!

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style? I do! I know how much I love it when people do it for me, so I try to leave comments on every chapter of the fics I read (or add tag notes for tumblr art/fic reblogs), and give specifics about what I like about it. Sometimes I just fully liveblog the fic reading experience, which is always fun. I also find it makes you engage and appreciate the work more because you’re taking your time to really think about it, AND it makes an author happy to receive (at least so I hope), which makes me happy.

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all? Not counting a couple of dump documents of ideas and snippets, technically 3, I guess? One is Forgotten, Not Forgiven (Supergirl) which is my big one and will definitely be finished. The others are less certain – Storybooks and Siren Suits (Call The Midwife) is the one kidfic I have ever written, and is both my longest story at 151,020 (published) words, and also the one I am least likely to finish, because it has been stuck on the same chapter for around 3 years now. The other is Small Problem… (Supergirl) which could be counted as a finished oneshot, but I will probably end up adding further Adventures of Tiny Kara at some point.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?Well, see above re: 3 year stall on new updates. For actually fully finished and published stories I think it was around 6 months.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published! Lena discovers Kara in Lex’s bed, then decides to lure her into friendship under false pretenses. Alex helps her do it. Forgotten, Not Forgiven.

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it? See above re: getting into fanfiction for Six!

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers That’s tough because there are so many amazing ones, but I think I will go with I Guess I Live Here Now by @fabulousglitch, because it was both the first fic I really got into for supercorp and also contained everything I wish the characters could have had in canon. I know I am several years late to the party so if you are in the supercorp fandom you have probably already read it, but if you haven’t read it GO READ IT, IT’S SO GOOD!

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool @nottawriter

The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) @sideguitars (and I still owe you a comment on AO3 for that!)

Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it @sssammich

Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things @fazedlight

Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things @havaamina

Someone you always tag on things like this @cynicalrainbows

Someone you have never tagged before @thatonebirdwrites

Someone you would like to get to know better @thecasualqueer

Someone who makes art you like @pea-green (I don't know if you still do fandom drawing/writing these days, but your commissioned art is still up in my house/in my profile picture and I love it so much)

Someone who writes fics you like @fabulousglitch

[kyouka-supremacy]

Ryu for the ask game?

Omg thank you all for asking this character I totally didn't specifically ask to be asked about and who I love a perfectly normal amount giggles and twirls hair

Favorite thing about them: He really strives to be good. Good at something, anything, but just good. He constantly fights against his own narrative and I find it very admirable. He was doomed from the start to fail and I feel like he knows that, and I don't know how he finds the strength to keep trying anyway but he does and it's really neat. Maybe his skull really is too thick to listen to the words of a predetermined fate. Just the whole thing about being the tragic character of all time is very compelling to me. Also, his inherently meaningless seeking a validation to live he shares with Atsushi makes me like him for reasons similar to Atsushi.

Least favorite thing about them: MMMHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Like I really like his flaws, I'm happy he has them, I wouldn't like him the same if he didn't? But at least I can safely say it's someone I wouldn't like to deal with irl lol.

Favorite line:

<3

brOTP: GIN AND RYUUNOSUKE!!!!! They make me go insane. Holding hands while working in the darkness fr. Being lonely together. Someone who's seen you at your worst FOR REAL but still hasn't abandoned you for some unfathomable reason. I don't know what goes through your mind but I see your eyes and they're the same as mine. Also mmmmhhhh sskk. Chuuaku. Kyouka and Akutagawa though I'm not sure that can count as brotp. Lucy and Akutagawa.

OTP: Sskk is like, pretty cool if you ask me <3 Imagine a fully rotten individual who was never meant for anything but killing and making people suffer since they were born, loving someone. Imagine the “I will kill you” being replaced by “I will love you”. But also imagine being so deeply interlaced with another person, your existence just can't escape the other. Destined to be together and destined to fall apart at the same time. I'll never be able to move forward until I've denied your very being but if you die my existence will stop having a meaning. Don't tell me what to do. I will follow you to the end of the world. I will kill you. I will die for you. I just think them <333 Chuuaku too, have already spent countless words on them but. Finally a ship that's real and relatable. Finally something that doesn't feel ethereal and idealized and distant and untouchable, but real and stained and messy and human. What if I didn't understand you but I wanted to. What if we walked together home. They're neat <333 Other Akutagawa ships I vibe with would be Akutagawa × Beast Atsushi, Akutagawa × Tachihara, Akutagawa × Kajii, akuatsulucy...

nOTP: 🤨🤔🧐

Random headcanon: I think he's numb to pain. And I don't mean it in the “oh no he suffered so much he's used to it at this point :((( ” pitying way, I mean it in the “he's felt such very strong spikes of pain in multiple occasions, his pain detectors just gave out” way. The “he won't notice a wound because he just can't feel it” way.

Unpopular opinion: In the last period, it's been bugging me a little how Akutagawa and Dazai's relationship is portrayed in fancontent. It's just always so black and white, while actually I feel like there's so much nuisance to it that just gets lost in fandom. Yes, the way Dazai treated Akutagawa was horrible and inhuman. Yes, to an extent Dazai thought highly of Akutagawa's abilities and cared for him. Yes, Akutagawa was victim of Dazai's heavy abuse. No, Akutagawa isn't entirely subject to Dazai, he explicitly gave his consent to an hard training (which, I reiterate, doesn't justify it at all; but does give more nuisance to the whole situation) and did oppose him in multiple occasions. I just think sometimes Akutagawa is framed as this helpless damsel in distress and Dazai as this inhuman monster whereas their relationship is indeed unhealthy, but still so much more complex than that. And just, really, I feel like portraying Akutagawa so helpless in Dazai's hands makes him a disservice? Even though in canon he said to be willing to kill Dazai on multiple occasions, has punched him more than once, has told straight “no”s to his face. I just think... People tend to make Akutagawa a lot less aware than he actually is. Here, there it is, that's what really troubles me. Akutagawa does know Dazai hurt him. He does know Dazai's treatment of him was cruel, and unfair. He is aware of what Dazai did to him. That just can't stop him from seeking his approval, even against his will. But to think that Akutagawa is blind to everything Dazai did to him does him a disservice, because he really is not that stupid or with completely null self-awareness. The fact that he tends to run after Dazai despite knowing how much he's hurt him is just further proof of how complex and human-like Akutagawa's psyche is. Also, he does NOT like reading. All my homies hate booknerd Akutagawa.

Song i associate with them: Well, I associate with him songs I definitely shouldn't associate with him alcfjyalfiygaslfiya. One song I always listen to that infallibly makes me think of Akutagawa although it really DOES NOT fit Akutagawa is Patchwork Staccato by toa, with its delicious sewing symbolism and words of toxic codependent relationships and the line you, I'd really rather you just stop existing I just can't help but link to him. Or Vampire by DECO*27, which. self-explanatory. but really shouldn't be associated with Akutagawa. On the side of songs that do fit Akutagawa, Tokyo Teddy Bear (AKUTAGAWA SEWING SYMBOLISM MY ULTIMATE BELOVED) and Lost One's Weeping (“Who stained that heart black? Who was it? Who was it!?” “Can you untie the rope around his neck? Can we keep going like this? What're you gonna do? I don't care anymore!” “But why does this lump in our hearts // Say we want to disappear? Say we want to die?” “Can you remember the dreams of your childhood? Who threw those dreams in a ditch? Who was it!? You know who it was! When are you going to grow up!? What is a grown-up anyway? Who has the answers? What're you gonna do? I don't care anymore!”) and basically everything from Neru. And Rolling Girl by wowaka, obviously.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga: The one above LMAO. I. Really like that scene and think it's the most beautiful climax Akutagawa's character arc could have ever had. Here's my second favourite though:

Favourite illustration: There's a lot of beautiful ones...

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

BUT ALSO this please don't make me choose. And various anime screencaps. I feel like I'm cheating but maybe it's unethical to ask from me to pick a favourite Akutagawa picture in the first place.

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?