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theonottsbxtch · 8 days ago

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MY KINDA CRAZY | LN4

an: i was listening to do re mi by blackbear and i was just thinking about the concept of lando dating a driver who is just straight up insane but that's their dynamic.

wc: 3.4k

Lando was lounging in his gaming chair, half-focused on his Quadrant stream, when he heard the sound of glass shattering in the distance. His gaze flickered, eyebrows furrowing as the noise registered. He glanced toward his mates on-screen, catching a few laughs over the headset.

“What was that?” Max asked.

He narrowed his eyes and leaned back, glancing over his shoulder toward the window. “Hang on a sec.” He muted his mic, got up and moved toward the source of the commotion.

He reached the edge of the window and peered outside—and there she was, standing beside his brand new black Ferrari, one of his precious golf clubs in hand, bringing it down on the windscreen with a satisfying crack. She looked wild-eyed, fearless, like she belonged right there, shattering his world with a smirk on her face.

He didn’t even have to look at the monitor to know his friends were watching his expression. After a pause, he unmuted the mic. “Uh, guys,” he said, exhaling a laugh. “I’ll be back in five.”

“Is that…?” Steven started. The rest fell into stunned silence, disbelief etched across their voices as he nodded, trying to suppress a grin.

“Bro, are you serious? You need to cut her off,” he heard Ethan say, as the sound of glass crunched through his headset again. They’re trying to talk him out of it, telling him how crazy this is, how she’s crazy. But he knows the truth—that they’re just as bad as each other, and he can’t imagine it any other way.

“I got it handled,” he assured them, already making his way downstairs.

Lando stepped into the lobby, where the apartment security guards were trying—without much success—to talk her down. One of them looked up at him, relief flashing across his face. “Sir, do you want us to call the police? We’ll get her to leave.”

But he just shook his head, giving them a grin. “Nah. I’ll deal with her.”

Striding out, he reached her, catching her wrist just as she raised the golf club for another swing. She froze, looking up at him, and he could see the fire in her eyes, the way she was daring him to react.

He just grinned, leaning in close enough that she could feel his breath brush her cheek. Without breaking eye contact, he wrapped an arm around her waist and, in one swift motion, lifted her up and slinged her over his shoulder. She let out a yelp, then an indignant laugh, smacking his back with the flat of her hand.

“Put me down, you cunt!” she demanded, but there was a thrill in her voice he knew too well.

“Are you done having your moment, sweetheart?” Lando murmured, a teasing edge in his tone. He could feel her bristle, and could almost hear the smirk in her voice when she muttered, “Maybe.”

As he walked back inside, her breathless laughter filling the air, he slid his hand up the back of her thigh, just to hear her gasp. She wriggled against his shoulder, trying to hide the way her body was reacting, but he felt it—felt her melt under his touch, even as she clung to her defiance.

Once they were back inside, he let her down slowly, pressing her back against the wall. She glared up at him, but it was a look laced with something darker, something that has his pulse thrumming. He caged her in with his arms, leaning close enough to feel the heat radiating off her.

“You really thought that was gonna get a reaction out of me?” he murmured, voice low, teasing. She smirked, looking up at him through her lashes.

“Oh, it got a reaction,” she whispered, her fingers sliding down to his belt, tugging him closer.

For a moment, there was just the sound of their breaths, mingling in the charged air between them. Then he closed the gap, capturing her lips in a kiss that was hard and demanding, like they were daring each other to go further. She kissed him back fiercely, her hands twisting into his shirt, holding him as close as possible.

When they broke apart, breathless, he pulled back just enough to whisper against her lips, “Next time, try not to break the Ferrari.”

She grinned, unrepentant. “Can’t make any promises.”

She stepped through the bathroom door, expecting things to be exactly where she left them. Instead, her eyes widen as she notices the vanity—completely empty, wiped clean. Her makeup, all of it, is gone.

She dropped her phone on the floor, her jaw tightening as she stormed through the apartment, finally finding Lando lounging on the sofa, casually scrolling through his phone as if nothing’s amiss.

“You didn’t,” she hissed, fists clenched at her sides. Lando looked up slowly, meeting her glare with an infuriatingly calm expression, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, I did,” he said, tossing his phone aside and stretching his arms across the back of the sofa. “Figured you might like a fresh start. Maybe if you didn’t wear all that makeup, you wouldn’t be getting so much attention.”

Her hands balled into fists, but she didn’t look away. He watched the spark ignite in her eyes, that unmistakable fire that was both thrilling and a little dangerous. She took a slow step toward him, a mocking smile spreading across her face.

“You’re insane,” she said, voice low and deadly, but he only grinned, watching her like he was daring her to do something about it.

“Yeah?” Lando replied, leaning back and looking her over with a smirk. “But you go wild for it.”

She stalked closer, moving to stand over him, her hands braced on either side of his shoulders, forcing him to look up at her. Her voice dropped, almost a whisper. “That was my stuff, and you don’t get to decide what I wear.”

He let out a low laugh, his gaze unwavering as he reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, fingers lingering just a bit too long. “Then stop trying to get my attention by looking at every other guy,” he murmured, his voice soft but dangerous, his hand trailing down the side of her face, fingers brushing along her jawline.

“You think I’m looking at anyone else?” she breathed, leaning in close enough that her lips grazed his, teasing. Her hands slid up his chest, clutching his shirt as she lowered herself to straddle him, trapping him in place. “Trust me, sweetheart, when I want someone’s attention, I get it.”

Lando felt her heartbeat against his chest, fast and unsteady, betraying the anger simmering just under the surface. He grinned, his hands moving to her waist, pulling her closer until their bodies were flush together. His voice dropped down to a whisper, low and possessive. “Then prove it.”

She didn’t hesitate, her mouth crashing into his, all sharp teeth and rough edges, like she was determined to make him regret it. He returned the kiss with equal intensity, his grip tightening as he pulled her in deeper, like he was staking his own claim. They were tangled together, her hands gripping his hair as he pressed her closer, their breaths mingling in a haze of frustration and heat.

When they finally pulled back, gasping for air, Lando smirked, brushing his thumb over her swollen lip. “See? Much better.”

When Lando walked in, the first thing he noticed was a mess of fabric strewn across the floor of the living room. The second? That familiar, smug defiance hanging in the air. His designer shirts—one after another—were lying in a pile, each one sliced clean through.

He let out a low, dark laugh, shaking his head as he picked up a piece of ruined silk. Of course she did this. Of course.

He followed the trail of destruction down the hall, where he found her sprawled on their bed, scrolling through her phone as if nothing was out of the ordinary. In her other hand, she was twirling a pair of scissors, the blade glinting as it caught the light.

He cleared his throat, and she glanced up, that innocent look in her eyes that he knew all too well. It was the look she gave right before she said something that’ll push every one of his buttons.

“Something wrong?” she asked, the corner of her mouth quirked up in a satisfied little smirk.

He stepped closer, holding up the tattered remains of one of his favourite shirts. “Oh, nothing,” he drawled, letting the fabric slip from his fingers. “Just wondering if you’ve got something you want to say.”

She gave a nonchalant shrug, returning her attention to her phone as she flicked through it lazily. “Thought I’d free up some space in your wardrobe. You never seemed to like those shirts anyway.”

He chuckled, watching her with narrowed eyes as he sat beside her on the edge of the bed, close enough that she had to look up at him. “And what if I told you that those were my favourites?” he murmured, reaching out to take the scissors from her hand, his fingers brushing her skin just a moment too long.

She tilted her head, her smirk widening as she let him take the scissors, her eyes flicking to his with that bold, unyielding spark he can never resist. “Then maybe you should take better care of your things,” she said, voice low and sweet, laced with mock innocence.

He let out another laugh, setting the scissors aside, his hand lingering on her thigh as he leaned in, close enough that he could feel her breath hitch. “And what am I supposed to do with you, hmm?” he asked, his fingers brushing slowly up her leg, tracing light circles that sent a shiver through her.

She raised her chin, meeting his gaze with a challenging glint. “Maybe you should take better care of your things,” she said again, her tone daring him to react. Her fingers trail up his chest, her touch feather-light, barely there, but enough to send heat coursing through him.

“Careful,” he whispered, voice dropping as he moved his hand up to cup her face, his thumb tracing along her cheek. “Keep this up, and I might have to show you what happens when you mess around this much, sweetheart.”

She leaned into his touch, her lips curving into a wicked smile. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want.”

She was exhausted, every muscle aching as she finally made it back to their apartment building after a gruelling day of training, it was hard to keep up with Max sometimes. She was only thinking about a hot shower and maybe collapsing into bed, but when she slid her keycard into the lock, nothing happened. She tried again, frowning as she heard the familiar beep and saw the small red light flash, denying her access.

Frustrated, she let out a sigh and looked up, only to see Lando standing by the window on the second floor, leaning casually against the frame with a smirk stretched across his face.

“You trying to come in?” he called down, amusement glinting in his eyes as he watched her wrestle with the lock.

Her jaw tightens. She raises her voice, letting her irritation show. “Open the door, or I swear I’ll—”

He just laughed, leaning out of the window, entirely unbothered. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I had to revoke your access. Apartment is under my name, after all.” He paused, tilting his head as he looked her over, clearly savouring her frustration. “It’s just... you’ve been taking a few too many liberties lately.”

She scoffed, storming toward the front desk, where the concierge looked up, shifting uncomfortably as she approached.

“Can you open the door?” she demanded, her voice sharp with exhaustion and irritation.

The concierge frowned apologetically. “I’m sorry, miss, but Mr. Norris" he hesitated, glancing up toward the smirking man in the window— “he’s requested that your access be restricted. I can’t let you in without his permission.”

Her fists clench at her sides, and she looks back up at him, glaring. He was still leaning against the window, arms folded, watching her with that smug, insufferable grin. She was just about ready to give him a piece of her mind when he called down, his voice lazy and laced with amusement.

“You know,” Lando said, “there’s a way you could get in. Just gotta say the magic word.”

She narrowed her eyes, arms crossing as she stared up at him. “You’re out of your mind.”

“Oh, come on.” He shrugged, feigning innocence. “A little begging never hurt anyone.” He grinned, tilting his head mockingly. “Or are you too proud? Red Bull’s Princess can’t say please?”

She bit back a retort, anger simmering under her skin. But the day had worn her down, and the idea of spending the night locked out was even worse than giving him what he wanted. She let out a sigh, glaring at him with a look that could kill.

“Please,” she said, voice strained, her jaw clenched tightly.

He cupped a hand to his ear, grinning wider. “Didn’t quite hear that.”

She let out a frustrated growl, swallowing her pride as she raised her voice, forcing herself to repeat it. “I said, please,” she grit out, hating every second.

But Lando only shook his head, laughing softly to himself. “Not quite enough, darling. You’re going to have to try a little harder than that.”

Her eyes narrowed, fury blazing in her gaze as she glanced around, making sure no one else beside the concierge was listening before she took a deep breath. She fixed him with a look, voice dropping lower, softer. “Please… let me in.”

For a moment, he just watched her, savouring every word, every hint of frustration in her eyes. And then, finally, he relented, nodding to the concierge with a satisfied smirk.

The door unlocks, and she strode in, tossing one last glare up toward him as she headed up to their apartment, her exhaustion momentarily forgotten in the wake of her frustration.

When she reached the door, he was waiting there, arms crossed as he leaned against the frame, still looking far too amused for her liking. She stormed past him, but he caught her wrist, stopping her just before she could slip away.

“Glad to see you can be reasonable,” he murmured, his voice low, laced with amusement as he pulled her closer.

She rolled her eyes, tugging her hand free, but he didn't let her go, his grip firm, challenging her as he leaned in close, his breath warm against her skin. “Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Don’t push it,” she muttered, but there was a hint of a smirk on her lips, her irritation melting into something warmer as he slid an arm around her waist, pulling her against him.

“Oh, I plan to,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple, savouring the way her resistance softens, just a little, under his touch.

Lando was out at the bar with Max, Charles and Oscar, a half-empty glass in his hand, when his phone buzzed on the table. Glancing down, he noticed it was his bank calling. He frowned, picking it up with a raised eyebrow.

“Hello?”

“Hi, sir, this is a courtesy call from Credit Mutuel. We just wanted to confirm a recent transaction—3,600 Euros from Versace? We wanted to make sure it was authorised.”

He let out a quiet chuckle, immediately picturing her wandering through the store, swiping his card without a second thought. Of course, she would do that.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he said, trying to hide his amusement. “Go ahead and approve it.”

He ended the call, slipping his phone back into his pocket, just as his friends gave him questioning looks. Charles leaned in, a grin already spreading across his face. “3.6K at Versace? Who’s racking up that kind of charge?”

He shrugged, smirking as he picked up his drink. “My girl. Guess she decided to go shopping.”

They exchanged looks, half-amused, half-incredulous. Max whistled low, shaking his head. “You’ve gotta be kidding. She’s really that bold?”

“Bold?” Oscar chimed in with a laugh. “She’s insane. You really need to put a stop to that.”

He just raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. “What, and miss out on all the fun?”

“Man, she’s gonna drain you dry,” Oscar said, shaking his head. “You need to cut her off.”

He took another sip of his drink, the thought not even crossing his mind. “Nah. She’s my type of crazy.”

They all looked at him like he’d lost his mind, but he didn't care. She kept him on his toes, always a little unpredictable, a little wild—and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You’re out of your mind, man,” Max said, chuckling. “No one’s worth that kind of chaos.”

“She’s your teammate, put respect on her name.” Lando quipped, his voice light but a slight bit of truth to it.

“Teammate or not. Kelly spent 3k in Versace? I'm asking her dad to pay me back.”

He just laughed, his gaze drifting toward the door as if he half expected her to show up, Versace bags in hand and that signature defiant look on her face. “Eh this is what keeps it interesting.”

Hope you bought something nice for me to rip off tonight x

The Singapore night lights gleam across the track as the roar of the crowd echoed through the air. Lando managed to bring the car to first place. It was a win that put him further ahead in the World Drivers' Championship—closer to clinching the title that both she and him were battling for. She’d just come in third, and he knew she’d be furious about the gap widening, about him taking both the sprint and the race.

He was basking in his victory, the top step of the podium all his, the adrenaline still coursing through him, as he turned to celebrate with the other two drivers on the podium. But he couldn't ignore the tension in the air. She was standing just a few feet away, third place still sitting uncomfortably on her shoulders, the gap between them widening with each race.

Her jaw tightened as she grabbed a bottle of champagne, shaking it quickly in her hand, she slammed it on the top step of his podium, his signature celebration. And she watched.

She watched as it hit his trophy, knocking it from the podium. The silver gleamed for a split second before it crashed to the ground, the base shattering in a shower of sparkling fragments.

She stood there, blinking for a moment, watching as the trophy’s broken pieces settled at their feet, her champagne bottle still in hand, the remnants of the cork still floating in the air like confetti. Slowly, she turned her eyes to him, that familiar, defiant glint sparking in her gaze.

“Whoops?” she said, a lazy smirk tugging at the corner of her lips as if she couldn’t care less about the broken trophy—or the effect it’s had on him.

He stood there for a moment, shock flashing across his face. But it was quickly replaced with a grin. He chuckled, shaking his head, his eyes never leaving hers.

Without thinking twice, he stepped off his podium, the world blurring around him as he strides over to her. Her eyes widened in surprise as he reached out, his hand slipping under her jaw, tilting her face up to his. For a heartbeat, the noise of the crowd faded, the lights dimmed, and it was just the two of them locked in a silent battle of wills.

Then, before she could react, he pulled her in, pressing his lips to hers in a kiss that was both possessive and challenging, a reminder of the victory that was still fresh on his lips. She was stiff at first, her fists clenching by her sides, every bit of her resistance radiating through her. But then, just as he was about to pull away, her grip relaxed. She let out a shaky breath against his lips, and suddenly she was kissing him back, just as fierce, just as unapologetic.

The world erupted around them in a chaotic mix of cheers and gasps, but they were lost in the heat between them. Charles, grinning like he was witnessing the best drama of the year, stepped forward with his bottle and sprayed them both, champagne splashing across their faces, soaking their race suits.

They broke apart, gasping for air, champagne dripping down their faces, but neither of them stepped back. He was grinning, that familiar arrogant smirk, knowing he had pushed her, made her break her carefully guarded composure right in front of everyone.

“You’re still behind, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice low enough that only she could hear. “Better step it up.”

She narrowed her eyes, her lips twisting into a smirk of her own. “Keep pushing your luck,” she replied, voice dripping with challenge. “I’ll catch you sooner than you think.”

He let out a quiet laugh, raising his champagne bottle in a mock toast. “Looking forward to it.”

She was standing in front of the press, still in her race suit, a mischievous gleam in her eyes as the interviewer approached her, mic in hand. The buzz in the room was all too familiar—she’d been the talk of the circuit all season, and tonight, after the “accidental” destruction of his trophy, they were all eager to get her take on it.

“So,” the interviewer started, grinning as he raised an eyebrow, “quite the, uh, performance on the podium. How are you feeling about, well… breaking Lando’s trophy?”

She shrugged, her expression as cool and collected as ever. “Not my trophy, not my problem,” she replied, smirking as a few people in the crowd let out quiet chuckles.

The interviewer laughed, but he was clearly fishing for more. “Rumour has it that he wasn’t exactly thrilled about it. Are you worried there might be… consequences?”

Her smirk widens, and there was a dangerous glint in her eyes as she leaned just a bit closer to the mic. “Oh, it’s fine. I’ll just get punished at home,” she said, her voice dropping to a playful whisper as she glanced directly at the camera. “If you get what I mean.”

The reaction was immediate—the interviewer’s eyes widened, the crowd let out a collective gasp, and the director frantically signalled for the camera to cut the feed. But before they manage to turn it off, her laugh echoed through the speakers, rich and unapologetic, leaving the whole room buzzing with her brazen, unfiltered confidence.

As the screen went black, she tossed the mic back to the interviewer with a wink, giving the camera one last look before she strutted off, knowing she’d left them with more questions than answers—and loving every second of it.

the end.

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mrrharper · 5 months ago

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Elevator Malfunction

Greg was walking along the corridor. He had just finished his last lecture for the day and was ready to leave the campus and go get something to eat. He got to the staircase but decided he didn't feel like walking down all these stairs, so he pushed a button for an elevator instead.

As he waited for it to come to the floor he was currently on someone walked up to the elevator and stood next to him, also wanting to give their legs a break. Greg looked to his left, then quickly moved his head back. That was Brad Petrović, one of the stars of their university's soccer team.

One look at the jock was enough for Greg to feel his cock hardening in his pants. He felt he was turning red and he hoped no one would see him getting a boner. From his perspective Brad was a perfect male specimen, and exactly Greg's type - clearly muscular but not bulky, tall with a masculine jaw, short hair, thick thighs, that permament arrogant smirk on his face, a constant aura of sweat and musk. Greg, a closeted gay man and an obvious nerd, knew that the chances of getting a guy like that in bed with him were very slim, but he could always dream.

He took another quick glance at Brad. He was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, which allowed Greg to just barely see his hairy armpit and chest. He was now sure his boner would not disappear for as long as he was in close proximity with the soccer bro.

The elevator had finally arrived and the doors opened. Brad went in first, followed by Greg who constantly made sure there was distance between them. And he made sure his shirt was hiding the bulge in his pants. The jock then pushed the "ground floor" button and the eevator began slowly moving down.

Greg turned his eyes for a split second and saw a few beads of sweat run down Brad's arm. Fuck, he was hot. He wanted to look again, but the more rational side of his brain prevented him from doing that, aftaid the athlete would notice, call him a perv or maybe beat him up.

They were around halfway down when the elevator wobbled. Both guys looked around but saw nothing that would suggest something was wrong. But then the lights flickered and the elevator suddenly stopped. Greg, who wasn't expecting this sudden change in velocity didn't have the time to grab anything, so he lost balance, fell down on the ground, bumping into Brad and then crashing his head against the floor, loosing consciousness for a moment.

A few moments later Greg opened his eyes and was instantly blinded by the light shining from the elevator's ceiling. He blinked a few times and put his hand over his face, trying to shield his sensitive eyeballs from the bright lamp above him. He slowly dragged his body off the floor and sat down, already feeling pain radiating from the back of his head.

He turned his head and-- he blinked quickly a few times, because he couldn't believe what he saw. He saw himself, his very own body standing up and looking towards him. Greg was sure he also saw confision on his-- his body's face, but it was quickly replaced by concern.

"Brad, you're alright? Oh my god, I'm so sorry I bumped into you. Are you okay?"

Brad? He wasn't Brad, he was-- Holy fuck! Greg looked down and saw the jersey Brad was wearing on his torso. He almost jumped and turned towards the mirror on the back wall of the elevator. A confused Brad Petrović looked back at him.

"Jesus Christ, what happened?" he asked aloud, then flincked, surprised by the deep voice that he was apparently in control of.

"I... I don't know" He heard his own voice behind him and turned around to see... No, he was certain he was looking at himself. This must have been a result of a concussion. He's never experienced soemthing like this but this was the most logical explanation. Yes, this would end in a moment. "I think the elevator stopped suddenly for some reason and I lost balance, and then... then I fell onto you, and then we both... Are you sure you're okay?"

"No" Greg muttered under his breath.

"Oh god, you have a concussion? Crap, we need a doctor to have a look at you" his body stood next to him. This was a reasonable suggestion. But Greg was not really thinking straight right now.

"No!" he barked a little louder than he wanted to. "I... I need to get home."

"Oh, uhm... of course, of course" The other Greg quickly took a few steps back. Then they heard a ding and the doors of the elevator slowly opened. Greg watched as his very own body walked out of the elevator and was gone in justa few seconds. The real Greg, now seemingly occupying the body of a soccer jock bro, stood still, failing to comprehend what was happening around him.

The doors started to close and Greg quickly jumped out of the elevator. He took a few deep breaths and thought about what should he do. He had now convinced himself that all this was the result of him injuring his head during the fall and it would all go away in a few minutes. Maybe hours. Hopefully not days. Oh god, he wanted to go home so bad. He quickly left the building and made his way to his dorm on the other side of the campus.

As he walked he realized his dick had been hard this entire time. And since he seemed to be wearing gym shorts it was way more visible. Greg looked around, hoping there weren't many people who would witness him with a hard on in public. Thankfully the area was not very busy.

He got to his room, unlocked the door and-- wait a minute! This wasn't his room. He took a step inside and instead of his small and tidy space, he saw a fairly large room that almost certainly belonged to a jock. A bunch of posters of various athletes hanging on walls, dirty gym gear laying everywhere, the table covered with empty beers, boxes of protein powder, a few condoms even, and of course the smell of sweat. This was Brad's dorm room. How did he get here?

A thought appeared in his head. It was muscle memory that took him here. Brad's muscle memory. This was not a concussion. Greg's mind was currently occupying Brad Petrović's body. He closed the door behind him and looked around, then grabbed his head with both hands. This couldn't be happening, this was just a dream!

He slowly went further into the room, then stopped as he felt he stepped onto something. Greg looked down and picked up a pair of boxers, with clearly visible sweat and cum stains. The smell was intoxicating. He suddenly thought about smelling, maybe even licking the underwear that was clearly used by the real Brad fairly recently. His cock reacted positively to this possibility, but Greg wouldn't allow himself to use his terrible position like this.

Although... would it be that wrong? It would get rid of his boner, allowing him to think more clearly. No one would have to know, he was all alone in this room.

Greg sat down on the couch standing in the middle of the room and took off his shorts and briefs in one, brief motion, freeing his hard cock. He then put the dirty boxers up to his nose and breathed in loudly. It felt like getting high, the manly smells filling up his nostrils. His hand gravitated to his dick and started stroking it as he imagined worshiping this body, all of its hard muscles, the armpits, the thighs, the crotch.

He sped up his hand movements and moand loudly, still pushing the underwear against his face. He started licking the material and another wave of lust came over him. He was overwhelmed with what he was feeling, his brain overridden by his horny instincts. He thought he could taste the cum and it got him even more excited, if it was even possible.

As he continued stroking though, something happened. The images he had in his head of Brad's flexed arms that revealed two sweaty armpits turned into a topless woman waving her boobs in front of him.

This would be enough to raise concerns, but for the moment Greg was fully controlled by the horny part of his brain, which didn't allow any critical thoughts to arise. He just continued jerking off, not realizing that his dick got even harder the moment the images in his head changed.

It didn't stop there. Next came a memory (wait, a memory?) of Brad eating pussy of some random chick. Greg continued stroking and licking the cum off of the boxers while his head became filled with images of Brad Petrović having sex with a bunch of women. No alarms went off in his head, he seemed to get more horny the longer he played with his dick.

A certain scene got stuck in Greg's head - Brad fucking a blond haired girl, letting his primal instincts control him. As he leaned in to touch one of the girl's breasts Greg finally got over the edge. He came harder than ever before, his jizz landing on his hand, jersey and the couch.

Brad cleaned his hand with the boxers he was holding for some reason, then threw then on the floor and immediately forgot about them. Instead he thought about that blond chick - Beth. Fuck, he needed to find her again. He heard his phone ringing. Oh fuck, he was supposed to meet with Garrett and Trevor at the gym! He quickly stood up and ran out of his room with only his phone in his hand. It was time to get jacked, then find some pussy later. Shit, Brad loved his jock life.

#jock tf #nerd to jock tf #gay to straight tf #body swap #soccer jock

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uc1wa · 1 year ago

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18+ minors dni

tags: fem reader, oral sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (pulling out), alcohol, dick (being a slut), frats (?)

dick grayson had a questionable reputation on campus. playboy, daddy’s money, beer pong champ, finance bro, and the king of hookups and god does everybody he’s been with know. there’s a reason all of his previous partners shoot him 2am texts asking what he’s doing.

but tonight he has his eyes on you.

loud music blasts in the frat house that feels awfully tiny with the mass of half naked people who are standing and grinding inside of it, random strobe lights are placed in all corners and the theme of "save a horse, ride a cowboy" is obnoxiously obvious with random cowboy hats hanging on walls and flannels being worn by everyone.

you were dragged by your friends to attend this party, one of which you’d never attend, knowing the man-whore personality of the house you’re standing in right now.

you’re leaned against a counter, solo cup of jungle juice in your hand as you’re buzzed, but still aware enough to know you still don’t want to be here.

the only thing giving it away is your bored expression—because your shorts that are uncomfortably too short, the tied flannel, and cowboy hat on your head tell a different story.

people watching was fun at parties, the outfits, the who’s talking to who, and the who’s dragging who upstairs was entertaining to your tipsy self.

your eyes didn’t spot the ravennette who was familiar with everybody coming towards your way till he was beside you, his body heat radiating onto yours and his breath against your neck as he tries to talk to you.

and the appeal of the man wasn’t hard to understand. he’s wearing a white crop top that his abs are peaking out of, an open flannel and jean shorts that show his quads beautifully.

everyone thought the man was hot, but to be attracted to him was another thing.

"can’t tell if you look lost or don’t wanna be here anymore," the smell of liquor too apparent in his breath that touches your neck, making you slowly meet his blue eyes and obnoxious smirk.

you only raise a brow, scoffing and leaning into his ear now. "don’t wanna be here," you say, leaning back on the counter.

and if anybody knows dick, you know he gets what he wants, and tonight his eyes are on you and your pretty tits that are held up by a push-up bra that you obviously wore for him, he just knows it.

he leans over again, this time snaking an arm around your back and moving his fingers along the exposed skin. "c’mon, i gotta room upstairs that’s practically sound proof." and honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him. the man has money to spend, and maybe he did soundproof his single in his frat house, just because he can. or, maybe he says that so that you can scream and his brothers can fist bump him in the morning. who knows?

but your mind is a little hazy and your speech a little slurred and dick’s arm doesn’t feel awful around you, so you lean in again, this time with a grin playing on your lips. "what’s in it for me?"

dick’s eyebrow arched, his smirk upturned and his hand tightening around your back at the question.

"wanna find out?"

and a few more teasing words of banter were said, a shot thrown down both of your throats, and a few inappropriate gropes placed on your body before he had your hand in his, leading you up stairs shamelessly while smiling at his friends on the way.

dick’s door closes with a kick of his foot, not locking it because… why would he? he doesn’t care if somebody walks in on the two of you.

when he turns around and you’re sitting on the bed for him, he’s grateful you’re wearing skimpy clothes, less hassle and easier access. he can only smirk, asking himself how dumb you are, you obviously dressed like this for him.

the man walks over, kicking his shoes somewhere in the dark room and slipping his flannel off, his biceps seem bigger than they did in your finance class you had with him last semester. his hands are big, veiny and long and fuck they feel good when he cups your face, looking down at you and moving his knee to spread open your thighs.

his thumb moves to your bottom lip, pressing the soft skin until you open your lips all pretty for him, taking his thumb in your mouth and sucking.

"good girl," he says, the hand that’s not cupping your cheek going down to unbutton his jean shorts.

then, dick takes a step back, slipping his thumb from between your lips and moving to the other side of the bed, sitting down and looking at you expectantly. "c’mon, show me more of your pretty self," he leans back on the heel of his hands, his broad chest sticking out and his lap looking like the perfect seat right now.

and all you can do is nod with wide eyes and listen to the man who was slowly but surely talking his way into your pants.

his dark blue eyes watch as you rid yourself of the cowgirl boots you were wearing. he licks his lips when you take your flannel off, eyes darting down to your hands that fumble to take your shorts off. you stand there with your cowboy hat sitting on your head and dick chuckles, "you’re doing real good with the theme, y’know?" he slurs.

you roll your eyes, "not proud of it," you slur right back, stepping forward while placing your knees on either side of his hips, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in.

"i’ll make you proud," dick says, his big hands resting on your hips, fingers playing underneath your thong that should just be considered a string at this point.

he leans forward, biting your bottom lip enough to make you whimper before he attacks your lips, forcing his tongue in and kissing you sloppily. saliva coating both your lips, threatening to spill out by how feverish his force is, his hand pushing you against his cock that’s already hard. and jesus you’re glad you wore the stringy panties you decided on because the feeling of him—even through the shorts he’s still wearing is painfully delicious.

you pull back, eyes half lidded and view not as straight as a sober persons, "gonna make me wait?" and maybe if you were sober the quickness of dick’s moves would seem normally paced, but he was quick to push you off of him to the side of his bed and throw his shorts to the side, followed by his boxers. all he’s wearing is a little white crop top and fuck he looks real good.

he’s toned and defined beautifully. not jacked like some guys are, letting it know that they’re juiced up. no, dick was the most naturally beautiful man to exist. (unfortunately, you weren’t the first to realize that… and definitely won’t be the last).

you lean back on your palms this time, watching him walk over to you painfully slow, his cock hardened all for you. "take a picture, it’ll last longer," he smirks, climbing on top of you while pushing you down and letting your legs wrap around his waist that feels so small in comparison to his broad shoulders. he takes your cowboy hat off, setting it to the side because that will definitely come back up.

you roll your eyes for what feels like the hundredth time tonight, arms wrapping around him and lips reconnecting again. the man is quick to arch your back off the bed, one finger sliding behind you to unclip your bra—which almost feels sickening how fast he was to do so—but your brain doesn’t let that register with the alcohol in your bloodstream.

dick remembers your words from earlier, gonna make me wait? and next thing you notice when you look down is your bra thrown on the ground and dick’s lips on your stomach, kissing down with hands on either side of you on the mattress until he’s sat at your pussy that’s embarrassingly wet for him.

"next party’s on thursday, you should come out," he starts while tugging your panties to the side with a curl of his index finger. "dress real pretty for me again."

and dick says that to every girl, sometimes giving a hint on what he wants them to wear, knowing once he hits, he will always quit and find the next person untouched by him.

"i’ll think about it," you say, broken into a whimper as his lips are quick to suck on your clit and his index and middle finger plunge into your wetness. if the music wasn’t booming from downstairs, maybe the sounds of your wetness would be more embarrassing, but dick just thought it was hot and your moans were real pretty.

and again, if you were sober, you’d probably arch a brow at the minimal time dick stayed down there, but you weren’t and were real hungry for him to fill you up.

"show me what the hype’s about," you say as he climbs up to you, one arm beside your head and one groping one of your breasts enough to illicit small whines from your throat. "i’ll see if you can handle it," he says cockily, voice dripping in ego as the hand that’s groping your breasts goes down to line his cock up with your hole.

in one quick motion he’s filling you up, your back arching off the bed and a loud pitched moan leaving your lips with eyes squeezed shut. dark blue eyes watch your face, cocky smirk not leaving his lips for a minute until he’s sucking on your neck. dick is shameless, he’s purposely leaving marks wherever he wants on your body, knowing he won’t let you do the same even if you tried.

the man above you is going to make sure you remember him fucking you, even if it’s just by you waking up with blotches on your neck and chest in the morning.

"too much?" he asks teasingly, showing no remorse with the deep groans he spills out with every time he fills you up. and dick is girthier than you thought he’d be, everytime he pushes into you feels like the first no matter how wet you are. it feels like he’s ripping you open with the hard and fast pace he’s maintaining.

an answer to his question is impossible, the only sounds are moans and whimpers, more so when his lips are on yours. your sounds mixed together are delicious to your ears and you pull him closer, sweaty body’s and breath tasting like liquor feels intoxicating.

he flips you both over with ease, his toned back resting on his mattress and pillow with you on top now. a loud groan escapes your lips, his full length filling you up but from another position was brutal at first. dick gave you a few more seconds to adjust before his big hands guided your hips up.

"you got it baby," his voice is low and full of desire, blue eyes taking over your frame that feels made for him. one hand comes off your skin to grab the cheesy cowboy hat and he motions for you to put it on with a shit eating grin.

coming to realization, you roll your eyes, "really?" you ask, rolling your eyes with a small laugh. but you put it on, and then fall back onto dick, riding him slowly and at an angle that makes him hit the spot deep inside of you repetitively. "fuck, fuck, fuck," you moan, your eyes closing and neck thrown back from the delicious feeling.

while dick is groaning, he can only smirk up at you, knowing he’s getting exactly what he wanted when he chose the theme for the party that night. "you look so fuckin’ good, riding me so good, yeah?" he’s verbally and physically fucking you at this point.

"takin’ this cock so good, baby," he groans, feeling himself twitching and turning you back over again, so he’s on top when he finishes.

in no time dick’s pulling out to spill his cum all over your lower abdomen, chuckling to himself as he pulls off of you and looking down. it’s his favorite view, flushed red cheeks, chest heaving up and down (making your breasts look even more delicious), and his cum painting your sweaty body.

if he was feeling more like an asshole, he’d ask to take a picture. but he knew you were a nice girl from one of his past semesters and decided not to be a total dick.

"you look good," he says it like it’s a reminder, like you’re already supposed to know—because why else would you be in dick grayson’s bed if you weren’t hot? and he walks away, going to the bathroom that’s connected to his room and returning with a wash cloth, cleaning you up with a laugh. "i’m leaving after this," you say, wiping your lips with the backside of your arm.

and dick let’s out an internal sigh of relief at that, he hates when girls are insistent on spending the night or staying for more of the party, latched to him. "fine by me, want me to get an uber?" he asks, throwing the rag to the side and sitting there for another second, looking at your fucked out state—the one he put you into.

you nod your head, sitting up in the bed, knowing if you stay with spread legs that dick will attempt a round two before the car he’s called you gets here. "wanna hand me my clothes?" you ask, not as slurred of words as before, the fucking sobering you up slightly.

"y’don’t wanna borrow a shirt?" because dick has a drawer full of old shirts from varying events on campus that he gives to his hookups, another reminder to everyone else that he’s the one who fucked you good tonight.

"fuck no," you roll your eyes, moving to get your clothes yourself and slipping them on as dick slips his boxers and shorts on, staring at you as you get dressed from the ledge of his bed.

the clothes weren’t as comfortable as what could’ve been a comfortable and baggy shirt, but you were trying to move as quick and invisible as possible out of the party and to the uber that just rang its arrival on dick’s phone. "it’s here," he says, standing up beside you and wrapping a hand around your waist. "sure you don’t wanna spend the night?"

"positive," the exact answer he knew he was going to get.

"this was fun," he says, leaning into you slightly. "you have my number, i’m always available," if it wasn’t dick, that sentence would’ve been cringey and gross, but his voice sounded too good right now and you nodded. "i’ll keep that in mind."

his hand moves to your cheek, tilting it to press a kiss to your face. "i’ll follow you out," which was code for you to leave and close the door behind you as dick freshens up.

and now you understand. dick knew how to fuck.

#frat dick is real gross and nasty #but so yummy #sorry just got back on campus and am having flashbacks #feeling the need to make gross frat boy with all my dc bfs ;(#dick in a crop top fuckkkkkkk #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #nightwing x reader #nightwing #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x female!reader #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson smut #nightwing x you #nightwing x y/n #nightwing smut #dc smut #dc x reader

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fryingpan1234567 · 1 year ago

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some CHB headcanons

every cabin has LEDs around the inside, but there’s a constant battle over what color they are

Percy has his rippling back and forth from teal to blue and it looks like light dancing through water all over his walls and floor

the Apollo cabin can usually settle for orange and yellow as a common ground

the Aphrodite kids have a different color for each time of day and sleep with pink on the lowest brightness setting

the Hermes cabin has like ten different strips and they’re all constantly shifting

Demeter cabin’s shifts with the seasons

ANYWAYS MOVING AWAY FROM THE LEDS

they have movie nights, which I will talk about in a different post

before everybody goes back to school, the Aphrodite and Hecate cabins have a massive salon at the end of the summer with new haircuts and magic hair dye and outfit recommendations and fake but enchanted sturdy nails and a whole bunch of other stuff and basically it’s a week straight of spilling hot tea between everyone in camp

if someone asks where a camper got their hair done when they get back to school they just go “oh, um… summer camp.” and their friends will snort and be like bro isn’t summer camp the opposite of a makeover?? but they get no argument, just a shrug and a half smile

when I tell you pride month over there is a fucking riot

because Mr. D is in on it, right?? because he’s the god of gender?? and Chiron is aroace and has been raising dumbass gay heroes for literal centuries?? PLUS the sheer fucking amount of queer peeps up in there?? dude yeah

cabins competing for who shows the most pride

Demeter’s roof is covered in rainbow flowers

Hecate’s is enchanted to emit actual light in whatever flag colors of whoever uses the front door, even when they’re straight (it’s just a rainbow)

Percy collects a bunch of shed scales from the hippocampi at the bottom of the lake and then puts them all over his cabin

I could make a whole post about CHB pride but

every single Apollo kid is also a theater kid fight me

Rachel Elizabeth Dare painted a skateboard for Percy’s birthday and he brings it everywhere now, it even sits in his backpack at school

Leo, Annabeth, Percy, and Piper fucking love horror movies. Frank, Hazel, and Jason fucking hate them. They watch through their fingers, if at all

Piper loves the band Surfaces with all her heart, but she also is a die hard Green Day and P!ATD fan

Jake Mason is covered in burn scars up to his neck, just like Deadpool, just not bald lol

Hephaestus and Apollo kids faintly radiate warmth (like more so than a normal person)

the Stolls sometimes stay at camp year-round because their mom is off on international missions that are too high-risk for them to help with

the seven are AVID Smash Bros players

really everyone but

not as many people go to the Athena campers for help with homework as you might think, but whenever anyone does, they’re happy to help

the sun chariot blasts music at a frequency only the Apollo kids can hear, so their life kind of has a shitty soundtrack that consists of a mix of Broadway, Queen, modern stuff, and random bits of Beethoven every now and then

the Romans swear on few occasions

the Greeks know when to swear and when to be polite

the Valhalla peeps swear unbridled and all the time

the Egyptians never swear (in English)

for the longest time, Will Solace thinks the only gift from his dad is his healing prowess— which is obviously great, but he expresses being upset over the fact that he’s not very good at archery

well, considering this is the dumbass who didn’t bring a weapon to actual fucking Tartarus, Nico drags him to the weapon shack thing immediately afterwards and made him pick something out

he's immediately drawn to the Celestial Bronze shotgun.

Nico’s just like “what in the redneck shit did you just pick up” and Will jokingly aims it at his chest and grins and says “you know I’m from Texas, right?”

that’s how they find out Will is one of the damn best marksmen in Greek demigod history

some of the Disney nerds in the Apollo cabin sing What Once Was Mine to the little ones who need bandaids for knee scrapes and give them lollipops afterwards

Percy Jackson absolutely used to make poverty and struggle meal jokes all the time, but he got weird and concerned looks for it at CHB, so he kind of just stopped. But one day, aboard the Argo II, the PERFECT opportunity came up and he just HAD TO and as per usual— everyone else looked at him like he’s crazy— but Leo laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of his nose and that’s the story of how the two of them became Best Friends

#anyways idk what came over me #riordanverse #percy jackson #leo valdez #jason grace #Annabeth Chase #hazel levesque #frank zhang #piper mclean #Will Solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #valgrace #Jake Mason #connor stoll

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chaethewriter · 1 year ago

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Unexpected

Eren Jaeger x alt!grunge!reader

Synopsis: Popular!college Eren dating a more alternative reader.

Mentioning: jealousy, suggestive content, basketball, fluff, toothrotting fluff, cringey fluff?, barely proofread.

Word count: 4,1K

An unexpected couple. That's what people thought when one day, Eren Jäger walked through the hallway with his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Acting as if you had a demon attached to you— or if you were the demon itself— when judging gazes fell upon yourself. The sound of your heavy platform boots landing on the ground you walked on, echoing off the walls as you took step after step down the hallway, clinging to your lover's shirt all the while.

Unlike your boyfriend, who dressed in a jersey that defined his muscles and a pair of denim jeans– with his hair tied up in a slick bun– you dressed differently, totally different from him. With heavy platform boots digging into your calves, the leftover exposed skin covered with a pair of ripped tights and a black skirt. Your upper body hugged by a black striped sweater where the sleeves are big enough for your head to fit in.

“It's so annoying, it's like an extinct animal is walking past them..” you huffed the words out, looking up at your much taller boyfriend. Eren averted his eyes to the audience around him and he scrunched his nose, clearly dissatisfied with the current situation: clearly dissatisfied that they treated his girlfriend like an animal. He knew that the only reason they didn't dare to utter a word, was because it was him. That didn't change the situation though. You could feel the anger radiating from his body and you knew he would stupidly open his mouth if you didn't distract him.

“Don't even bother, I could care less about their opinions. Let's go to class.” you reached your hand to touch his chest, rubbing reassuringly as you pulled his side closer to your body. This seemed to distract him, as Eren immediately turned to face you, “You were serious about going to class?!?”

You gave him a knowing look, “Obviously. And you are going to focus, your place on the team is on the line.” He didn't reply, but only groaned in defeat. He knew you were right though, he didn't want to lose his place as captain on the basketball team.

You grabbed his hand from on top of your shoulder and intertwined your fingers with his, pulling him with you. And Eren knew he couldn't escape the class that was about to start.

“Eren! Bro! Come join us.”

The moment you entered the classroom, a voice was calling out to him from the back of the room. There sat his friends, all the way in the back like always.

“It's fine, you can sit with them. I'll be sitting in front anyways.” You flashed him a pretty smile to reassure him that he didn't need to stick with you 24/7. You still felt awkward joining his much more popular friend group, after all. Yet Eren had other plans.

While you were about to pull away from him, he only held you tighter. “Thanks guys! But I'm gonna be sitting with my girlfriend.”

“Simp!”

“Bro is skipping us for his playtoy.”

“Oh cut that crap, he truly cares about her, apparently.”

Words were exchanged, but you paid them no mind as Eren practically pushed you towards your favorite seat in front and sat you down, before taking a seat next to you. He put his hands behind his head and leaned back, looking down at you through his eyelashes, “are you going to help me, teach?”

You rolled your eyes in response, putting your bag down and unpacking your stuff. You opened your notebook on an empty page, before turning towards him. With your hand on his thigh, you leaned in. This caught him off guard, as he sat straight expecting you to press a kiss on his lips to tell him that he's doing a good job. Instead, you grabbed him by his cheeks with your free hand— squishing his cheeks together, “behave, you're the one that's gonna be in trouble if you aren't passing this class.”

Your hand moved towards his hand to pet his hair and he blushed at the gesture.

“Yeah-yeah, sorry sweetheart.”

“Good boy!” you gave him a sweet smile and settled down in your seat.

Eren put his arm on your chair as he leaned in to look at your textbook, so close to the point his stray hairs tickled your cheek. You turned your head to give him a knowing look. You noticed he wasn't walking around with a bag over his shoulder, so you're not so surprised about it.

“Promise I will bring my stuff the next time… if you be my tutor that is~” his lips landed on your temple, almost like a soft feather tickling you.

You don't say anything, but slip out a smile that your boyfriend also noticed. He stroked at your skin with his nose, his hands roaming around your waist.

His friends continued to complain, but it was all a mere noise in the background for the both of you.

During these events, the teacher entered the classroom with heavy footsteps. He put his stuff down on the table in front of him with a loud thud.

You slightly moved your face away from Eren's, as to tell him to slightly back off as class is starting soon.

He let out a pout, but respected your wishes as he sat in the comfort of his own space, his hands still lingering on your upper thigh. His fingers played with the end of your skirt, prodding at it.

“Class, open your notebooks on an empty page as we are diving straight into it. So for today…”

You ripped a page from your notebook and took a working pen from your pencil case, putting the supplies in front of his nose. He gave you a grateful smile with a quick kiss to your cheek.

His teal eyes bore through the textbook that you laid down in the middle of the surface. It's not like he understood it at all. Luckily, you were writing notes down for him that are easier to understand.

Knowing he shouldn't bother you– especially while you were so kind to help him with notes– Eren decided to keep himself busy. He twisted the pen open and watched you from the corner of his eye to see if you were looking at him.

Satisfied with the sight that you didn't, he leaned down to cover his entire table with his upper body. With the tip of his tongue slightly sticking from between his lips, Eren moved the pen around on the paper.

Checking up on you once in a while, all while drawing tiny adorable doodles. From random animals to what seemed to be you and your interests.

He was so focused that he didn't feel your poking at his arm.

“Psst Eren,” you tried to get his attention, nudging him even harder.

“What are you doing?” You asked out of curiosity once you gained his attention, a slight hum leaving his throat.

“Not telling.”

He's so cheeky.

You rolled your eyes at his sassy demeanor and turned back to your notes, all while wondering what the hell he's doing.

Two hours passed as class was finally dismissed. This entire time, Eren had been doing god knows what on that paper of his– as he kept taking stuff from your pencil case (from scissors to glue) and you wrapped up with your notes. You marked the final sentence with a blue marker and finally put the lid back on.

“I made you something!” He pulled at your sleeve to catch your attention and once he did, he held something up– right in front of your face. You had to squint your eyes and push his arms back slightly to see what this was all about.

In front of you, he held a piece of paper shaped as a rectangle, almost the size of your hand. You tilted your head to the side in confusion, “huh?” You inspected the small doodles he drew, noticing they're your favorite things.

“A phone case! Well, you can put this behind your clear phone case. Can you, pretty please?”

He practically begged you with his palms slapped together.

He was so childish.

You shook your head, before taking your phone out.

You currently had a clear case, decorated with stickers of black hearts and chains.

He immediately snatched it from your hands and you watched with interest as he removed your case, but the paper inside– with the drawings facing up– and slotted your phone back into the case.

You had to be real, it looked really wonky. Kind of ugly, but honestly? It was so sweet it made your heart flutter.

Proud of his work, Eren passed your phone back to you with a proud grin. Knowing he expected some kind of praise, you gave him exactly what he wanted. You leaned in to press your lips against his, sharing a loving kiss with the basketball player.

“Thank you, Eren. It's lovely.”

“Now you will think about me 24/7, not that you didn't do that before, but you know!”

That cheeky bastard.

“Yo Eren! Are you going to ditch us again, or actually sit with us for lunch?” A large shadow loomed over the both of you, covering the light shining down on you.

You looked up in confusion, wondering why the light had dimmed so much.

Looming over the both of you, Eren's friend group (in this class) stood there looking down on you. They were really intimidating like that, if you had to be honest. But you were sure that's also what they thought of you.

When you turned to look at Eren, he was already looking at you with those pretty eyes of his.

As if he was waiting for your opinion on that statement.

You chuckled in your sleeve, “you really don't need my approval. You should sit with them. I'll see you after our break.”

You were tempted to press a kiss against his lips, but with the amount of eyes on you you weren't so sure if you should. So you got up from your seat and greeted goodbye with a wave, but Eren pulled you back towards him at your wrist and pressed a passionate kiss against your lips.

“See you soon, babe.”

You were sitting at one of the picnic tables in the canteen. Preferably the one in the corner of the room. It's not like anyone would steal that place, though, considering not everyone thinks of your group as friendly-looking (yet the bunch of you were much friendlier than the popular group).

You poked in your crunchy wrap with your wooden fork as you listened to the conversations your friends were having.

“No but then fucking Justin fell on his fucking jaw during practice and it was so fucking embarrassing!?!?”

“Is that the only curse word in your vocabulary, Leo?”

You huffed in annoyance as Leo threw himself across the table, his heavy leather jacket hitting you in the face as he pulled his friend by his hair.

“can the both of you sit down, so that I can enjoy my food?” You grabbed Leo by his necktie as you pulled him back down next to you, “You're so annoying.”

“Last time I checked, Eren Jäger is your boyfriend and he couldn't possibly be less annoying than them.” Shoko said as a matter of fact, typing away on her phone.

Your fighting friends agreed with that statement and you gave them a glare, “Are you still going on about that?”

Then your other friend chimed in, “Oh come on guys! At least she's happy. Even if it's with the most terrible person ever.”

“Thank you Jake, for first being on my side and then insulting the hell out of me.” You threw your fork at him at the same time as your response, “he's literally not a terrible boyfriend. It's his friends..”

“-which influences him.” Shoko finished your sentence and you couldn't help but groan again.

Leo then threw his arm around you, “we can't promise if we will ever like him, to be honest. Considering… him.”

“Okay, stop being so rude about my boyfriend.” You grabbed at his locks as you aggressively pulled at them to the point some hairs are actually getting stuck in between your fingers.

“You better stop that, or else I'm going to sabotage your fucking projects! Fuck ow stop!”

The three friends watch the childish bickering unfold, but they weren't the only ones doing so.

“I'm going to kill him if he doesn't back the fuck off.” Eren crushed the crunchy wrap in his hand to mush, his nails digging through the food as it spilled through the gaps of his fingers– squeezing so hard his veins bulged.

“Jealous much?” Jean practically cackled, satisfied seeing Eren this frustrated.

“I'm not jealous..”

Oh what a lie that was. Eren was jealous, so jealous he could strangle the guy clinging to you. He knew he wasn't actually clinging to you, obviously the two of you were bickering. But he wished it was him instead.

He was so focused on you, he hadn't even noticed that he ruined his lunch.

He felt his insides burn as all he could see was red, especially when your friend pulled you in a hug.

“That's it.” Eren slammed his hands on the table before getting up from his seat, shoving his seat back along the way. His chair fell down with a clatter and the sound of students talking amongst themselves died down.

He made his way to your table, his eyes burning into your skin.

“We can work on the thing you need help with, today after class?” Leo pulled at your cheek as he said that, making you groan as the pinch was too hard.

No way in hell he was going to let that fucker with you.

“You're ruining my makeup!” You pulled at his locks harshly, at this point hoping he truly goes bald.

“Sweetheart.”

You felt an overwhelming presence behind you and at the same time a shadow loomed above you. You turned your face to the side to see what that was all about and came face to face with your boyfriend.

The entire table got quiet as they stared at the taller student.

Leo pulled away from you as he looked up at him. Eren was already staring at him, sharp eyes throwing daggers straight through his skin as his jaw clenched.

“Eren!” You exclaimed with a shy smile as you practically threw your arms around his neck. His hands landed on the dip of your waist, while the other landed on your bottom to keep your skirt from flying up. His gaze moved back towards you, much softer as his jaw unclenched. He already felt much more satisfied with the current situation.

“Watch out, you're going to kick your lunch on the floor.” Leo pushed your tray away from the edge.

Eren's jaw clenched again and his grip on your bottom tightened.

“Let's go.”

He took a hold on the strap of your bag and pulled it off the seats, slamming into Leo in the process.

“Huh go where? Oh uh! Bye guys!” You tried waving after your friends, but he was quick to seal you into his side with his hand on your hip as he led you out of the canteen.

“Can't believe some emo girl is making him act like a feral dog.”

“Bro is actually acting like a hormonal teenager.”

“Ren, where are we going?” You tilted your head up in confusion since he had been ignoring you for the past minutes.

“Hello?”

“Eren!”

You stopped in your tracks as your fist clung to his sleeve, “Ren, what's up?”

The two of you stood in front of the main exit, the halls around there empty as class was about to start.

As a reply, he huffed, and you weren't satisfied with that answer at all. His grip was still immensely tight on you, as if he was scared that you could slip away through his fingers.

“Please, talk to me.” He looked down at you and the way you looked up at him made him so weak in the knees.

He couldn't be angry at you.

And he didn't have the right to be angry at you.

“Let's skip.” he pulled you flush against him yet again. If that was even possible.

You saw the determined look in his eyes. Obviously, there was something bothering him and when Eren Jäger had something on his mind, he would do whatever to pursue that thought.

“Be happy that I didn't miss any classes so far..”

And it made him smile.

You sat down on his bed as Eren closed the door to his dorm room. From under you, you removed a pile of clothes to sit more comfortable, “Sooooo… what now?”

He put your bag down in the corner, before taking a seat on his desk chair. With the help of the wheels, he rolled closer to you until he sat right in front of you. He brought his hands down as he helped you remove your heavy boots.

Gently laying them down somewhere, careful not to damage them as he knows how much they mean to you, he held your ankles and pulled your legs through the holes of his chair. You chuckled as you pulled him closer and he pressed his nose against yours, rubbing it into yours.

A small pout formed on his lips as he stared into your eyes. Instead of speaking up, you decided to let him do it at his own pace.

After a few minutes of this loving gesture, he pulled his face away from yours and scratched behind his neck, “if I tell you I wanted you here only for tutoring, you wouldn't believe me now would you?”

You gave him a knowing glance and a chuckle escaped his lips.

“What's up with my big baby?”

“I'm not a baby!”

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled his face in your neck. You pet at his hair as he gripped at your hips.

“I don't like your friend..”

“My friend? Which one?”

He hesitated at that question, but you let him know that he could tell you everything by kissing the tip of his nose.

His cheeks grew red at the gesture, “that one friend.. I just don't like him!”

Oh.

Him.

You thought back to who you hung out with today. You were around Eren the most, but besides that you were surrounded with

Justin,

Jake

And

Leo.

Oh.

You covered your mouth as you let out a fit of giggles. He felt your chest vibrating and pulled his face away to look at you, “are you laughing?!”

“No no.. pffhh..”

“You're definitely laughing!” He turned his face to the side, his gaze on one of the posters on his wall as his cheeks flushed redder.

“Ren! Nono it's okay, I'm not making fun of you.” You put your hands on his cheeks, “please look at me?”

Silence.

“Now don't give me the silent treatment, why so jealous?”

Silence.

“Is it because he's too close to me?”

“...no.”

Finally, he spoke.

He wanted to tell you, really.

But he was so fucking embarrassed that he wanted to die on the spot.

“Then what is it?”

He murmured something you couldn't catch.

“Sorry?” you grabbed him by the chin and made him face you. You leaned up, until your faces were inches away from one another. He still didn't look at you, though.

“Didn't catch that, baby.”

“You.. his hair..”

“Hm?”

“Your hands in his hair..” it came out like a whisper, so you couldn't catch the entire sentence.

“What is it with his hair, honey?”

He pursed his lips, finally looking into your eyes as his face was bright red, “you pulled at his hair! That should have been me!”

Silence.

His eyes were wide as he waited for your reaction.

Were you going to laugh at him?

Call him too possessive?

Break up with him?

His hair tie got loose, his hair falling down onto his shoulder and tickling his neck.

He then felt a pair of hands in his hair, scratching at his scalp and pulling at his locks, “there there..”

He let out a soft whine in response, closing his eyes as he almost purred into your touch.

You couldn't help but smile.

So he was into that hm?

You climbed into his lap from the bed, you being the one to pull him flush against you now. Not that he complained as he felt your body pressed into his.

“You could have asked, baby.”

He heard that you didn't sound mad at all, your touch still soft and lovingly as your hands buried deeper into his soft hair.

“Kinda embarrassed.. and jealous.. don't do it to him anymore, please.” His nose buried into your hair as he inhaled your smell. So nice, like home.

Instead of laughing at him, you nodded your head with a smile,

“I won't.”

Extra:

“You can do it!!”

Even though the colors of the school didn't fit you at all, you wore Eren's jersey proudly. He convinced you to wear it, after some puppy eyes and begging— saying everyone should know he belongs to you and you belong to me– his words.

The shirt too big for you as it basically acted as a mini skirt. Your hands grip at his jersey as you watch in anticipation as the countdown gets closer to zero.

You bring the cloth to your face as a way of comforting yourself– it smelled just like his perfume.

“Will he be okay?” You asked Leo worriedly as he stood next to you in the crowd.

He shrugged in response, “He got hit pretty hard in the face. Wonder how long it will take until he passes out.”

“Okay shut up!” You smacked his nape in annoyance.

Turning back to the game in front of you, you look for Eren in the field. He is on the right side of the field, breathing heavily with sweat dripping down his forehead– his hair in his infamous manbun to keep it out of his face. You watched how he raised his shirt to wipe the excess sweat from his face, giving you a good view of his body.

He looked to the left, your way, as he attempted to give you a wink.

That bastard.

You blushed profusely as you attempted to cover it up with a frown.

He's not dumb, though.

With the last minute counting down, you leaned into the barrier as both teams got into action. With the ball now in the hands of the opponent, they had to try and get it back and also score in that last minute.

One of Eren's friends jumped in front of the opponent to catch the ball, but said opponent did a feint and bounced the ball to the side.

Now you were getting nervous.

In that last minute, a ton of back and forth was happening.

Who could have thought so much would happen in one minute?

“Eren Jäger from Shiganshina managed to get a hold of the ball!! Will he manage to make the final point?!?” The commentary announced through the speakers and a gasp left your lips.

He dribbled to the opponent's side.

He looked your way.

Gave you a teasing grin—

this one's for you.

Aimed.

Shoots.

Scored.

The crowd of shiganshina roared as you jumped in the air.

Leo shook his head, but ended up clapping as well. He had to say, he was impressed.

Eren's teammates ran straight towards him, engulfing him in a hug and eventually lifting him up.

His arms were in the air as he cheered, eyes closed and looking so ecstatic– so at peace.

You took your phone out to record the moment, maybe a new lockscreen?

He was finally put down and he immediately ran to the left side— your way.

“Sweetheart! Jump!” Eren had climbed up someway, now standing right under you as he held his arms out for you to jump in.

“Are you crazy?!?!”

“Crazy for you definitely, now jump!”

He had the goofiest grin on his face.

And you couldn't decline his offer.

With (not) a lot of trust, you climbed over the barrier and let yourself fall. He immediately caught you in his arms, a wider grin on his face, “told you I would catch you.”

“Oh shut up!” And you pressed a passionate kiss on his lips.

The camera panels towards the two of you unbeknownst to you knowing.

“You're wearing it..” he whispered under his breath once you pulled away, eyeing his jersey wrapping around your body.

“Of course I am. ‘M your biggest fan, ‘Ren.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you.

“Hmm… should wear it more often, especially during our alone time..” his breath fanned against your ear.

“Eren!!”

A/N: thank you sm for reading! I know my posts are inconsistent whoopsies. But hope u enjoyed. Like and comment pls <3.

#chaethewriter #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren jäger #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #eren jaeger fluff #eren aot #eren smut #college au #eren college au #college!eren

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polo-drone-001 · 2 days ago

Text

The Golden Locker Room

The smell of fresh turf and sweat filled the air as Ethan walked into the locker room, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He’d heard whispers about the Golden Army—a soccer team that dominated every league they played in. Their victories weren’t just legendary; they were almost mythical. Some said it was their training regimen. Others credited their seamless teamwork. But Ethan felt there was something more.

The locker room was immaculate, gleaming under bright lights. Rows of polished golden jerseys hung on one side, their metallic sheen catching the light like treasure. The sight alone made his breath hitch. Each jersey was marked with a single name and number, a badge of belonging to something greater than oneself.

At the center of the room stood the captain—Brody. His golden eyes scanned Ethan, making the rookie feel both small and strangely aroused. Brody’s presence was magnetic, his perfectly sculpted physique emphasized by the golden jersey that clung to him like a second skin. The jersey didn’t just fit; it exalted him, every muscle and curve catching the light.

“You’re Ethan, right?” Brody asked, his voice deep and commanding. He extended a hand. Ethan shook it, his own hand trembling slightly.

“Yes, sir,” Ethan replied, the honorific slipping out instinctively.

Brody smirked. “Good. You’re about to be one of us. But first...” He gestured to the golden jersey hanging on the wall with Ethan’s name embroidered on the back. “Suit up.”

Ethan moved to the jersey, his fingers brushing against the fabric. It was impossibly soft, yet sturdy, and seemed to hum faintly under his touch. He hesitated, unsure why he suddenly felt nervous. Brody was watching him intently, his golden eyes boring into him.

“Go on,” Brody said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Ethan pulled the jersey over his head. As the fabric slid over his skin, a strange warmth spread through his body, radiating outward from his chest. His breathing slowed, his thoughts softening, focusing. The world seemed quieter, simpler. He flexed his fingers, feeling the material hug his body in a way that felt both empowering and... controlling.

“How does it feel?” Brody asked, his voice smooth like silk.

“...Incredible,” Ethan whispered. He looked down at himself, the jersey molding perfectly to his form, enhancing every line of his body. He felt strong. Confident. Yet, beneath that strength, he felt an urge he couldn’t explain—a desire to follow, to obey.

Brody stepped closer, his golden eyes glowing brighter. “Good. The jersey isn’t just a uniform. It’s a bond. A promise. When you wear it, you’re not just playing for yourself—you’re playing for the team, for me. Understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Ethan said automatically. The words felt right, natural, as if they’d been planted in his mind the moment he’d put on the jersey.

Brody smiled approvingly. “Then you’re ready.” He turned to the rest of the team, who had gathered silently, their golden jerseys gleaming under the lights. “Brothers, welcome our newest recruit.”

The room erupted in cheers, but Ethan barely heard them. He was too focused on the sensation coursing through him—a deep, submissive pleasure in belonging, in unity. He was no longer just Ethan; he was part of the Golden Army, a cog in a perfect machine.

As he looked around, every other player’s glowing eyes met his, their intensity sending a shiver down his spine. They were one, bound by their golden glory, and Ethan was ready to serve, to play, to obey.

Ready to embrace golden glory? Contact me @polo-drone-001, or our Caps, @brodygold and @goldenherc9, recruiter @hades-gold19, and take your first step into the Golden Army.

Unity. Strength. Victory awaits.

(Thanks for letting me use your name bro! @ethan49gold)

#golden army #thegoldenteam #golden team #male transformation #soccer tf #jockification #gold #male tf #jock tf #hypnotised #transformation

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smellystars · 9 months ago

Text

Game Night

Submitted by Anonymous

Jonathan did not want too eat too much before he arrived at his friend’s apartment to watch the game, but he was hungry enough he could not hold back from stopping at the pizza shop downtown for a quick bite.

“I’ll have two peperoni slices and canned soda please” he told the cashier, a skinny young man behind the counter.

“Wanna add a dessert? Our cheesecake is pairs well with it”

“Ah why not, I will have that too”

The cashier put on gloves and put the two grease slices on a paper plate, grabbed a prepackaged cheesecake from a fridge from under the counter and handed it over along the can of soda to Jonathan, who thanked him and after paying hurried to an empty table to gobble down his food and head to his friend’s place quickly. He then munched down on pizza slices, the grease slobbering around his lips, swallowing a lot of air as he seemed to be eating quicker than ever before. Not feeling the need to be patient, he opened the cheesecake box and proceed to devour it as well, occasionally washing it down his soda.

BBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPP

A loud burp announced that he was down with his meal, loud of enough for the cashier to hear it. Suddenly the delicious smell of pizza got overpowered by the smell of Jonathan’s belch, and as he got up to leave he looked over at the cashier, who had a disgusted face and was covering his nose.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As he was about to enter his friend’s apartment, he felt a growl in his stomach, which had been giving him trouble ever since he left the pizza place. The didn’t even need to knock when Edgar, his friend opened the door with a concerned look.

“Bro how did you know I was here”

“That loud ass growl you made, are you okay?”

“My bad, my stomach is acting up a bit”

Jonathan made himself comfortable in the living room with the three other dudes who were already there. As time passed and they continued watching the soccer match, his stomach problems made themselves known with loud a rumble in his belly and strange, sharp pain radiating through his nave. Jonathan’s face went from red with embarrassment to pale in discomfort and sweat droplets began forming on his forehead.

“Dude are you good?” asked Leo, one of his friends teasing him

“Yes…. just gassy” Jonathan answered, fighting to keep the storm in.

“Dude let it rip, you know I do it all the time” replied his other friend

“Dude not in my living room” responded Edgar

The conversation devolved into his friends teasing one another, debating on who farted the most on the group and joking around who was the grossest, that was until Jonathan interrupted.

“Sorry bros”

“Hahaha, Don’t sweat it dude, it was not even lou-......YO WHAT THE FUCK!!!”

The smell of raw sewage assaulted everyone’s nostrils, Jonathan himself jumped off the couch coughing, Edgar and Leo following soon after. One of the guys who was sitting on the chair next to him covered his as they watered up from the stench.

“FUCK I CAN”T HOLD IT” Jonathan screamed. He was embarrassed for sure, but the buildup was so bad he had no choice but to let out a beast of a fart.

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

A 20 second roar exited Jonathan’s asshole and roared throught the apartment, it was loud enough for the neighbors to feel their wall vibrate and the sound to echo through the hallway. The gas contaminated the apartment, Jonathan’s friends gagging on the stench, even Edgar and shocked at the horror taking place.

Jonathan could feel how the fart made his shorts reverberate. Holding on to his belly and with a pained expression he sat down on the couch from the exhausting of pushing out such a huge fart, but his gas wasn’t done just yet.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Jonathans cheeks gave way to a second, 40 second eruption whose smell now had a hint of rotten eggs. His friends who were trying to make it to the door fell to the floor gagging. The stench began to seep into the halfway and into the apartments on the floor. Unsuspecting people in their homes we looking for the souce of the stench, was it something spoiled in the fridge? The trash left uncovered?

Back in Edgar’s apartment, Jonathan squirmed in pain on the couch as one of his friends managed to open the door, but it was too late, as soon as they opened the door they all collapsed unconscious to the ground. But with the open door the gas now had somewhere to escape, flooding the hallway.

The gas in the apartment was not the only one wanting out. Jonathan could feel the gas in him pushing out for an exit. Bringing his knees up to his chest he allowed for a third blast to exit his rear.

PRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

A loud boom, almost a minute in length, and with enough power to undo the fabric of the couch and to make the walls and the floor shake. Many people ran out of their apartments only to immediately fall to ground coughing as they were greeted with the foul stench of the hallway. The gas exiting through Jonathan’s rear continued to fill the hallway, seemingly pushing out all the oxygen and beginning to move into the other floors.

There was more gas trapped inside him, Jonathan could feel it. Keeping his knees close to his chest, he moaned as the huge fart approached his rear exit.

PRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Nearly four minutes long, and with enough force to shake not only the floor the apartment was on, but the entire 5 story building, and with enough gas to fill up every single floor with the toxic fumes. All kinds of nasty smells, sewage, rotten eggs, onions, sauerkraut, choked the building occupants. People on the first few floors screamed as they ran out of the building, while people on the upper floors began dropping to the floor as they were trying to evacuate.The gas itself began dissipating out of the building and into the city, where people close to the epicenter panicked thinking a chemical attack was taking place.

Jonathan sighed, that must have been all the gas he thought, until a tiny, almost impossible to hear burp scaped mouth. He relaxed his posture a bit while sitting on the couch, which now had a hole in the fabric where he was sitting, and looked around. Picture frames broken on the floor, the tv with a cracked screen, house plants wilted and the paint on the wall peeling. He was his friend laying unconscious on the floor and could hear havoc outside the building, with police, firetruck and ambulance sirens blaring through the city streets and people screaming as they rushed to get away from the epicenter of the disaster.

#malehyperfarts #male farts #hyperfarts #fart story #anonymous

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chosos-mascara · 2 years ago

Text

a white christmas

𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 𝙠𝙖𝙢𝙤 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 - you and your daughter spend christmas with choso and yuji.

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 - fluff, like super tooth rotting fluff, big bro!choso, single mother!reader, smut, spit k!nk, unprotected sex, creampie

minors + ageless dni! 3.2k words

Choso Kamo had lived in the neighboring apartment, along with his younger brother, Yuji. You'd seen the pair in passing a handful of times since moving in, the small pink haired boy meeting the gaze of your daughter, Aiya, a wide grin shared between the two children, a polite glance between their guardians. It had been the beginning of October when Yuji had finally spoken to your child in a soft tone, asking where she'd gotten the toy car she'd grasped firmly within her grip, the packaging within the bottom of your shopping bag.

"My mommy got it for me!" She'd exclaimed with a grin, pushing the small toy forward to wave within his face. Yuji's eyes had spread wide, a sparkle within them as he'd watched her spin the wheels along the wall between both apartment doors. When he'd smiled along with her, you'd noticed a gap between two teeth, most likely accompanied by a visit from the tooth-fairy. He'd been older than your child, around eight or nine while Aiya had been five, though despite her age, she'd acted with maturity. She'd been a handful, an overwhelmingly boisterous nature, confident in her ways and energetic, though her perceptiveness had aided you when you'd been lower, Aiya's comforting hugs always there to comfort you when you hadn't known you'd needed one.

"Mommy," Aiya turned to you once she'd finished flaunting the plastic car in Yuji's face. "Could Yuji play with us?" The innocent question had been accompanied by a pair of ample puppy-dog eyes, an expression she'd learned far too quickly would get her own way. You glanced to the small frame of Yuji, and finally, the black haired male stood beside him.

Truth be told, you'd had a crush on Choso. Black hair falling to kiss his shoulders, a tattoo across his face and nails painted to match the dark clothes he'd worn. He'd often looked tired, caring for a child of his own, and yet the expression he'd had was always filled with care, his attentive nature visible through his loving gaze. Sometimes, you'd recognize the music from bands you'd enjoyed blaring through the apartment walls, a gentle reminder of the male who'd resided only an apartment from your own.

As heat had radiated through your body at the thought of Choso in your apartment, you'd glanced to him, seeking guidance for the question our daughter had abruptly asked. "Is that okay?" You quizzed, feighning off the awkwardness you'd felt flowing through you as you'd spoken to him. He'd nodded, lips curving into a small, reassuring smile. "Sure." Voice soft, he reached to pat Yuji on the shoulder, pushing him toward the apartment door you'd been stood before.

The four of you passed through your hall, Aiya leading the way. She'd skipped toward the contraction you'd known she'd wished to show off, a hot wheels track towering tall within the center of the lounge, a collection of cars parked at the base. The track had been something the pair of you had worked to build between you, partially made up from the authentic hot wheels kit, and then as it had gotten closer to the rug, cardboard making up the chute. It had started two foot above the coffee table, ending at the carpeted floor. Aiya climbed onto the table to teach the top, putting a car through the toilet-roll tube you'd taped to the top, allowing it to whiz down the track. Yuji gasped as the toy turned the corner, running closer to inspect each plate of plastic, the fast wheels of the car whirring.

"Do another car." Yuji shouted, picking up a blue car from the assortment neatly lined up on the rug, passing it to Aiya. She'd repeated the action, this car exhibiting less speed, though more agile. A giggle passed your lips as your daughter's excited gaze met your own, hand raising to beckon you forward and pick a car from the line-up. You glanced over the assortment, eventually landing upon the first car you'd bought her, one she'd cried over in the store when you'd asked if she'd been sure that's what she'd wanted. Of course, this was a mistake on your part - Aiya had adored cars with all of her being. You'd been unsure why, but fed into the small obsession anyway, allowing her to collect more over time, many evenings spent playing together.

Taking your place beside your daughter, you hadn't needed to stand on the furniture to reach the top, instead remaining with your feet on the carpet, arm outstretched. Your car had been slower than the others, and as it had been a little more dated, it had clattered along the track, hitting the lip and almost toppling off multiple times, though eventually making it to the bottom. Aiya clapped her hands together before looking hopefully toward the final person within the group, Choso.

"It's the man's turn!" She declared, small finger pointing in his direction. You couldn't help but laugh, her explosive personality evident within moments of meeting others as he'd let a deep chuckle through his chest. His smooth, honey-like laughter had caused your cheeks to heat up, though you'd suppressed the thought as you'd instead watched the interaction before you. Choso had picked the truck, standing the other side of the track beside his brother, towering above the construction in both height and broadness, large hand making the toy look considerably smaller than it had in Aiya's, or your own. The truck had barely fit within the toilet tube, but with his index finger he'd pushed it through With such a square and bulky design, the truck had crashed into the lip of the track on the first corner, flying off the plastic to instead hit the floor. Aiya broke out in laughter at the display, a smile wide on Choso's cheeks as he'd glanced to the fallen toy. Yuji giggled along too.

This had marked the beginning of Aiya and Yuji's friendship. Although the interactions had been sparse to begin with, you'd soon exchanged numbers with Choso, and from time to time you'd babysat for one another. Over the span of a few months, the four of you had grown closer, so when you'd woken on Christmas morning to a thick blanket of snow coating the streets below, you'd entertained the idea of asking Yuji to play. A quick text to Choso after Aiya had excitedly opened her gifts, and you'd been at their apartment door.

"Come on!" Aiya had exclaimed, moving her arms upward to ushered Yuji from the apartment, though the thickness of her coat and the jumper beneath had restricted movement, so instead of ushering him, she'd been left to awkwardly wave. He'd smiled, the half grown back tooth displayed clearly before he'd turned on his heel to grab his coat. "Come in, I'll get my jacket." Choso's voice was soft as he tucked his hair behind his ear, stepping forward to allow space. Aiya flew through the gap immediately, running to catch up with Yuji, while you'd slipped through at a much slower pace, stomach churning with anxiety when you'd stepped into his home, embraced by his scent when approaching his lounge.

Beside the lounge door, Aiya had been helplessly attempting to aid Yuji with zipping his jacket, the small metal of the zip unable to be grasped between the knitted mittens. You giggled at the display, walking over to take over, doing up the coat and pulling the hood over his pink hair. "Did you get anything nice this morning?" You questioned, glancing to the tree decorated beside the window in multicolored lights, mismatched baubles you'd assumed Yuji had placed himself. There had been a pile of wrapping paper, with a few presents littered around the room, cardboard packaging discarded nearby. Yuji had nodded, pointing to the couch which had housed a few toy cars, similar to Aiya's.

"Santa got me hot wheels!" Yuji had shrieked, to which Aiya had begun running toward the couch, inspecting the toys. He'd followed suit, showing his favourite to her adorning gaze, jumping up and down.

Choso stood in the doorway of the room, hair now sitting beneath a black beanie, his coat zipped to his chest, where the length of a scary had been displayed through the gap. He'd led the way, the kids between yourself and him as they'd skipped down the steps leading to the building's main door. When he'd opened it wide enough for all of you to step through, the freezing air had hit your face, but you'd ventured out into the snow nonetheless.

It had been ankle deep, Aiya screaming and grabbing fistfulls to throw at Yuji after traipsing into the community gardens. "Are you seeing family today?" You questioned Choso while the kids had ran circles around you, occasionally landing a hit on one another through breathlessly sprinting. "We don't really have any family." He'd replied, placing his hands into his coat pockets for warmth. "You?" Shaking your head at the question, you'd replied with a simple no, taking your eyes from Aiya to glance over his face.

Choso's skin was pale, the thick black tattoo setting over the middle of his face had contrasted in color, and within the cold winter, there had been a tinge of red setting over the tip of his nose. "You could-" He began, brown eyes meeting your own. "You could have dinner with us, if you'd like." His voice was low, stare fixed on your own as he'd awaited your response. You'd smiled wide, thinking for a moment before graciously nodding. Aiya and Yuji's screams escalated to a louder pitch as he'd caught up to her.

A small hand had suddenly met with your thigh as Aiya had attempted to protect herself from the large snowball flying from Yuji's hands. Mouth widening, you shrieked, the cold snow hitting your legs and coating the leggings you'd worn in a thin layer of water. Yuji's smile had contorted into a frown as he'd backed up, fear riddling his features as he'd waited to be scolded, though instead, he'd been met with a snowball. Gasping in shock, he looked at the melting white crystals across his jacket, and then to your empty hand. Shouting, he picked up more snow, tossing it your way, Aiya soon joining his side to make smaller, lopsided spheres.

"It's two against one!" You'd laughed, bringing your arms to block your face from the incoming attack. Through a gap in your arms, you'd watched a snowball fly in the opposite direction, much larger than the ones they'd created, crashing between them. Turning your head to the source, your eyes landed on Choso's gloved hand, freshly coated in snow. "Not anymore." Choso spoke, teeth displayed through a grin. The kids screamed, running to hide behind a bench as yourself and Choso had ran to them, snow in hand.

It had taken thirty minutes before the children began to complain they'd been too cold, and an hour before you'd returned to Choso's apartment, this time the scent of roasted vegetables mingling within your nose, tummy rumbling. While he'd plated up dinner, you'd entertained the children with a game of charades, and post-meal, the four of you had sat on the couch with full stomachs.

"I can't believe they lasted so long." Laughing, you'd watched Choso shuffle through the lounge to return with a bottle of wine, the red liquid filling glasses set out on the coffee table. He nodded, handing a drink to you before sinking into the couch. There had been a choir singing carols on the television before you, soft melody of voices accompanied by the warm tones of candle-light, and orange bulb within the aged lamp beside you.

"Do you have any other siblings?" You asked, taking a sip while keeping your gaze on the screen before you. Choso shifted beside you, wide stance causing his thigh to brush over yours. "We do, but family is a sensitive topic." His voice had been low as you'd nodded in agreement, attempting to offer solace with your own situation. "Yeah, that's... relatable." You sighed, flickering your gaze to him. He'd raised his hand, before uttering a few words in the form of a toast. "To shitty family?" Choso questioned, tilting his glass toward you. Laughing, you tapped yours to his, a gentle ting as both had collided.

Once each of you had taken a sip, attempting to focus on the television before you opposed to the pounding in your chests, Choso broke the silence. "You're a single mother?" He reached forward to place his glass on the table before you, then turning his body to face your own. "Yeah, her father was a piece of work - I left while pregnant." Choso wouldn't push you further, though raised a brow at the explanation, upset expression mirroring his internal monologue as he'd hoped the statement hadn't alluded toward anything traumatizing. "When Yuji was four, we left. Thankfully, our parents never filed a missing person's report or bothered to look for us; nicest thing they've ever done." His story had been a difficult one, too. "You're doing really well, you know?" Reassurance had been something you'd wished you'd gotten more of, working hard to create a stable environement to house the child you'd cared deeply for with little recognition had been tiring. "Raising a whole person is so hard, and Yuji is so kind-hearted."

Choso displayed a new expression, one you hadn't seen previously, and it had been difficult to read. His eyes shimmered under the amber light, lips curved upward and brows furrowing until he'd allowed a shaky breath to leave his lips, teeth protruding through his smile.

You leaned forward, placing your lips softly against his. He'd immediately kissed back, hand trailing along your arm until his fingers wrapped around the glass you'd held, relieving your grasp and placing it on the table beside his own, before reconnecting with you. His touch had rested at the nape of your neck, grasping you tightly and pulling you as close as possible. The kiss you'd shared had been somewhat sloppy, the long day fatiguing your body with each movement, drool coating your lips quickly, and with the addition of tongue, you'd slipped among one another.

Choso had held you lovingly, both hands placed over your body, his right clutching at your shoulder to hold you close, the left at your hip. You brought your own to cup his cheeks, the kiss slowing as he'd pulled you upward, your legs widening to cage around his thighs. With this, the grip on your neck was lifted, instead resting atop your hips. The hum of carols in the background drowned out by the leisurely tasting of one another, breaths ragged and fanning over the other's face between kisses, neither party wishing to pull away for more than a second.

You dropped your hands to graze over his chest, fabric of the loose t-shirt he'd worn caressing your fingertips until you pushed them beneath the hem, this time sliding bare stomach and upward to chest. His skin was smooth, warmth seeping to you as you'd touched him with ease. Choso sighed into the kiss, a low groan as he'd appreciated your touch, anticipation bubbling between you as you'd pictured the near future in which you'd further the situation at hand.

He slipped his fingers under your sweater, steadily drifting over your back with a light, feathery touch. Your skin prickled under his, goosebumps bubbling over the surface in which he'd sailed over. "I want you." A hushed whisper between elongated and disorganized kisses, a request that had Choso groaning again, squeezing over the skin of your hips as you'd rolled over him, in hopes he'd continue to action.

Choso pulled at your trousers, slipping the fabric downward before you'd adjusted yourself to remove the garment entirely, then fumbling over the button of his jeans with impatience, laughing as he'd taken over to undo it himself, large hands gently pushing past yours. He'd pulled his jeans downward, cock springing upward once free. You'd internalized the gasp at the reveal, though couldn't hide your wide eyes, graciously lapping up the sight before you.

His cock had sat at the height of his belly-button, neatly trimmed black hairs coating his groin and trailing up his stomach. Just as his features had been, his dick was pretty, pale skin and reddened tip already wet with precum. There had been no hesitation when you'd used your spit as lubrication when pumping over him a few times, his stomach sucking inward and a quivering breath leaving his lips at the contact, before lining yourself at his tip. Sinking down, he'd groaned louder than the small grunts he'd been allowing through parted lips previously, while you'd let out a sigh of relief. Choso sunk back into the couch behind him, alleviated features causing him to look beautifully at ease, softened cheeks, slackened lips fallen to part only a centimeter. His eyes hung heavy, watching you through half lidded eyes as you'd moved yourself on him, eventually allowing your cunt to graze his hilt.

You bobbed, coming upward and then down, clit chafing against his groin once more and causing a lewd whine to fall from your lips. Choso brought a finger to his lips, a shushing motion as he glanced toward the hall. "Don't want th' kids to hear." His soft whisper had been accompanied by his fingertip grazing your lips, slipping between them as he'd watched you take it within your mouth, gently sucking. Choso's head tilted backward, eyes squeezing shut as he'd inhaled deeply, attempting to control the pleasure he'd been encumbered by. From the way he'd kissed you before, you'd guessed he'd liked oral, or at least, saliva.

You too his fingers into your mouth further, lips caressing knuckle as you'd silently gagged over him, his hips bucking at the action. From this, drool had gathered against your tongue, in which you'd allowed to pass through a small gap between your lips and his finger. A thick glob of spit had rolled down his hand, slowing when reaching his wrist. "Oh, fuck." Choso moaned, loudly, hips bolting upward as he'd thrown his head back. You smiled around his finger, more drool pooling at his knuckles while his gaze bore into your own, pussy clenching over his bricked up member. Pulling his hand from your face, a pop when your mouth released him, you smirked at him. "Shh, don't wanna wake the kids." Bringing his hand to his lips, he licked your drool from his hand, breath trembling with each maneuver, relishing the taste of your mouth in his own.

"I'm- fuck." His whisper had been interrupted by cursing, head pressing back into the sofa cushion behind. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum." His voice had been at normal level now, louder than you'd wanted it to be given the circumstance, though as his deep tone had pooled over every word, the internal battle to remain quiet displayed across his face, you hadn't minded. Full concentration on the sounds he'd been making had dissipated as he'd came, stuttered ropes coating your insides against the muffled whines he'd made. His lips had been pursed shut, back arching from the sofa and hands gripping tightly at the fat of your hips.

You'd sat on him breathlessly, body collapsing forward to rest on his as you'd smiled against his chest. "Y're good at that." Choso spoke quietly through huffs, hands caressing your back once more as both of you had calmed.

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xrcs · 2 years ago

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wanima bros + female reader

author’s note – i’m just hoping this gets the attention it deserves cause i put my blood, sweat, and tears into this one right here. these two are so underrated but lowkey sexy.

content warnings: threesome. dom keisuke. switch reader. sub junichi. anal and vaginal penetration. overstimulation. masochist junichi??? titty suckin’. clit play. hair pulling. praise kink. (junichi) blowjob. edging. junichi eatin pussy for like 2 seconds. spittin’ a couple times. fingering.

shit, the wanima brothers have been eyeing you for a while now. junichi may not be able to verbalize it. but, you can most definitely see it in his eyes. his brother also caught on quickly, observing the way junichi would look at you.

it slowly became a competition to see who could be with you first. both of them would show off and exaggerate their moves while playing soccer. scoring goals for you, looking at you while running. nobody would’ve ever thought that the brothers would fight over something.

“bro! watch this,” keisuke yelled, heading towards you. you can’t even lie, you’ve been crushing on them. you liked the attention they gave you, it was so silly. but, the effort was cute. keisuke’s footsteps could be heard getting closer, a wide grin on his face.

junichi was chasing after him.

“yo, how’re ya doin’? i wanted ta’ tell ya somethin’ realll important,” keisuke sang, his playful energy radiating. it quickly diminishes when his brother steps over, his whole demeanor towering over you two.

you laugh awkwardly watching the two brothers clash. the silent argument almost makes you wanna cringe.

they’re being so childish. you clear your throat loudly to stop their conflict. both of them looking at you with those googly eyes they have. the shit-eating smirk that was on keisuke’s face was back. keisuke turns his back to and whispers something into his twin’s ear.

it’s incoherent, leaving you confused. they both turn around, smiling brightly.

“hey.. me n’ bro wanna tell you something,” keisuke says with a sinister look. you honestly feel a sense of nervousness, wondering what they have to say. you cock a brow up as you wait for the words to come out of keisuke’s mouth.

he took a deep breath in, “we– ahem. we like ya. n’ we wanna get ta know ya a lil’ better,” a reddish blush spread across the wanima brothers’ faces. lost for words, you kinda just stand there. suddenly, a wave of courage washes over you.

“you know, you guys are kinda cute. i’ve been havin’ a little crush on you two as well,” you state, face getting hotter as your tongue lets out every syllable.

the wanima brothers’ looked at you in shock, “no way! are ya being serious? that’s what bro said,” both of them felt giddy inside, hoping you’re not just playing some silly game.

“yea, i’m being serious, seriously,” you voice firmly.

let’s just say after that day, you three got REALLY close. & they both had to have you. at the same time.

you’re sat on keisuke’s lap, mind all foggy from all the kissing and licking you three have done.

“junichi, c’mere. wanna teach you how ta really please a lady,” keisuke commanded, junichi came closer to the both of you. his eyes scanned your bare pussy, glistening and fat. jesus, his cock was so hard that it hurt. one of his hands went down to palm his cock, to soothe the pain a bit.

his mouth started to water a bit, cocoa eyes telling a whole story.

“stick a finger in’ere. curl it while in n’ out,” keisuke explained, pointing to your pussy. junichi slowly hovered his finger over your pussy before gliding his pointer on it. spreading the slick, making you whimper.

you wiggle in keisuke’s hold, “don’t t-tease me, jun,” he nodded and stuck his finger, the feeling of your warm gummy walls around it makes him wonder how you would feel around his cock. your eyes flutter shut as he starts to curl him finger.

“n’ add more as you pick up the pace,” keisuke described, biting his lip while he hears the lewd squelching of your cunt. junichi adds another finger, curling his fingers into you faster.

your head falls back onto keisuke’s shoulder, mouth wide open.

“touch- agh.. my clit, jun,” you moaned, feeling yourself slipping away from reality. he’s so skilled even with being a little inexperienced. junichi’s blown eyes search for your clit. maybe it’s the thing that looks like a little button? his thumb comes up to stimulate your clit, rubbing it in a circular motion.

gosh, you don’t know how you’re last. junichi’s already pushing you to the edge. the coil in your stomach becoming more and more bunched up, waiting for its moment to snap. he adds another finger, rolling his wrist while curling rapidly.

your back arches, eyes rolling back as bliss takes over. keisuke fondles with your boobs, creating more stimulation to your body. fuck, you’re close.

“yeah, bro! now, nibble on her clit a lil’. that’ll make her go wild,” keisuke laughs, watching how you can come undone so quickly. junichi brings his face up to your pretty pussy, his hot breath tickling her. he starts to nibble on your clit, making you help.

the pleasure, the pain. which one feels better? both do. junichi continues to suck and nibble on your clit while pumping his fingers into you. the coil’s about to snap.

“yes, junichi! fuhhhhck, doin’ such a- ngh good job! you’re s-so good for me,” you scream, rolling your hips in order to get more friction. junichi’s cock twitches, leaking pre as your praised him. he almost let out a pathetic whimper. keisuke smirks as he sees that you’re losing yourself in the pleasure.

junichi’s hyper focused, only thinking about making you cum. but, his cock’s basically purple, he really wants to let a load out. his hand starts to move like a vibrator. changing his pace every few seconds. slow, fast, slow, fast. curling his fingers with intensity. he looks up at your expression and groans into your pussy.

just like that, you cum all over his fingers and face. that extra vibration sent you off the charts, the whole room turning white. your ears ring as you finally come down. all senses coming back. your body starts to convulse as junichi licks all the oozing essence on cunt. making sure he gets every single last drop.

“shit– junichi! ‘m sensitive,” you wince, quickly bringing your hand down to pull junichi’s hair. the burn on his scalp felt so fucking good, he moaned shamelessly. you smirk at his reaction, taking notes in your head. keisuke laughed as he watched his own brother almost nut from hair pulling.

keisuke picks you up with his strong, toned arms, “aye, bro. c’mere. want you to support the other side,” junichi gets up and holds up as well, your legs wrapping around his torso. gosh, this is so erotic. honestly, you could just cum from this position that you’re in right now. squished in between two beefy men, that’s what’s called heaven on earth.

they started to communicate with their eyes, nodding at their telepathic statements. you kinda wish you were in on it but that’s just the fun of it. you never know what’s going to happen. you notice that they started to move a bit but you couldn’t look below you to see what was happening.

their slimy tips glide against your wet holes. you clench around nothing as they tease you with their cocks. just as you were about to complain about their teasing, they stuffed you at the same time. leaving you feeling so full as you had to take their girthy dicks.

they slowly started to move their hips, juinichi’s jaw going slack as he fucks up into your pussy. his mind getting all muddled as he panted over your shoulder. keisuke’s grunting in your ear, thrusting into your tight asshole. he’s using everything in him to not cum right there and then.

both of them ramming non stop into your holes instantly makes your mind go blank.

“feels– nmph.. good,” you whimper, tears rolling down your cheeks. keisuke’s quick to lick them off, letting out an animalistic groan. junichi just can’t get his mind off your pussy, his brain repeating ‘pussy’ a million times in his head. it’s like he’s a virgin again, you just feel so good.

junichi whimpers as he feels you clench around him tightly, making him buck his hips into you roughly. you bite your lip as you look into his pretty, glossy eyes. grabbing a fistful of his hair, you yank it. jun’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he feels the pain turn into instant pleasure.

keisuke growls while rutting into you, biting your shoulder. he can feel every ridge and bump in your hole, only making the experience better for him. shit, even he’s losing it slowly. you moan as he goes deeper into you, balls slapping against your ass and thighs.

“haaah– fuhhhckk, this hole’s real tight. ngh, feels really good,” keisuke groans while drool slips past his lips. you feel like you’re already getting closer and closer to cumming. the intense pounding of both of them makes your body jump up with every thrust.

junichi takes your tit into his mouth to suck to conceal his noises he finds embarrassing. nibbling your nipple while his mind becomes fuzzier, panting heavily why fucking you. the brothers’ look into each others eyes, they’re gonna cum soon.

they can both feel their thighs getting tired. but, that won’t stop them just yet. if one finishes first, they’re the loser. shit, keisuke it in his stomach. he’s gonna cum first. the way you’re clenching around him, the lewd sounds of your voice and your holes are making him weak. junichi chuckles lowly as he sees his brother lose it.

“mmph, gonna cum. shit, i’m gunna cummmm,” keisuke groans as he lets his fat load seep into your hole. his seed coating every inch of your hole. you whimper as you feel his warm substance fill you up. keisuke slowly pulls out, sighing. he passes out and falls on the bed a second later.

you giggle but your focus is now on junichi. his eyes always tell a story, and you can tell that he’s gonna cum soon. quickly, you pull his cock out and push him onto a nearby chair. he makes a confused sound, looking up at you.

“don’t worry, jun. you’re gonna cum eventually,” you whisper while getting down on your knees. your head’s now in between his beefy thighs. you plant wet kisses on them making his cock twitch.

his eyes are begging you to let him cum. it’s like he’s screaming it at this point. you blow onto his tip, making him squirm in the chair. jun’s gripping onto the chair handles so hard that his knuckles are becoming white.

taking his cock in your mouth, junichi moans softly, looking down at you with watery eyes. thank you. that’s what his eyes are saying. he tries to keep his hips in place as you bob your head up and down.

your hot, wet mouth engulfs his cock, making him shiver. he’s about to start crying. he’s so close, let him cum, please!!!

“ngghh– mmpph!” a string a moans and whimpers continue to come out of his mouth. his eyebrows furrowed as he shuts his eyes. gosh, he’s almost there. just a little bit more.

the way you’re swirling your tongue around his length makes him want to burst out into tears. you stop moving your head to tease him, making him buck his hips up. helplessly trying to chase high by fucking your mouth.

you make a popping sound as you take your lips off his dick. he whimpers loudly as looks at you. you start to stroke his cock slowly, looking into his eyes. tears roll down his face again as he feels it in his stomach again.

junichi’s so obvious when he’s about to cum. his moans become pitchier, thighs start shaking, and his tip gets redder. you stop and let go of his cock, making him cry out. his hips trying to find something for his cock to grind on.

the cool air hitting his dick makes his lips quiver, his eyes searching for any kind of mercy in yours. you wrap your hand around his cock again. rubbing your leftover slick all over his cock, making it slimy. your hand’s so soft and plushy, jun’s going crazy.

junichi’s eyes become half-lidded as all he could think about was cumming. his balls start to ache as you keep on playing with his dick. mind going all murky as he fucks up into your hand, shit! he’s almost there again. he can feel it! please let him cum this time!

you let go, again. he whimpers in defeat and tries to grind his length on one of the arm rests of the chair. you slap his thigh, making him wince and look at you with such a pretty, fucked out face. you felt your pussy throb as you saw his expression.

you’re most definitely gonna give it to him now.

“you’ve been so good for me, jun, so good. cum, baby. you earned it,” you say, stroking his length quickly, planting more kisses on his thighs. yes! finally! now’s the time.

jun feels his balls tighten as you keep on going. his muscles tense up as he started to drool. his pink tongue slightly hangs out his mouth, and his eyes are rolled back to his skull. fuck, the coil is snapping.

all white surrounds him while his cock spurts out loads of cum onto your face and hand. you put your mouth on his tip to swallow any leftover cum, making him twitch.

his breathing is fast. you quickly sit on his lap and hug him. playing with his hair as he comes down, humming his favorite tune.

keisuke finally wakes up and smiles.

“let’s get ourselves cleaned up,”

XRCS 2023

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madameaug · 1 year ago

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BTS Imagines #1

Context: This TikTok got my creative juices flowing. You can't tell me this doesn't radiate jealous, possessive, hot bf energy. But I also want to do a spin on the Tik Tok too.

Pairing: Yoongi x Black Reader ----- Namjoon x Black Reader

WC: 1k > (slightly tho)

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MYG x regular black reader

Two months ago, you and Yoongi ended your year-long relationship. You were getting ready to start your PhD program. You and Yoongi were off and on during your graduate program, but it was best that you both called it quits. While you hoped that, eventually, you would find your way together again, now was not the best time for your relationship.

Relieving his thoughts of you, Yoongi started playing basketball more frequently. His neighborhood had a court, and there were small matches every Saturday. His team was currently playing. Yoongi sat on the bench, warming up and watching the intense basketball game. Rotating his right shoulder, he noticed a familiar face on the opposing team. It was the new guy that he was told you were 'talking' to. Yoongi wasn't sure if he knew who he was, and wanted to keep it that way.

Subbing in for one of his exhausted teammates, Yoongi dribbled the basketball in his hand. He analyzed the floor before him while your new rumored boyfriend started to guard Yoongi. Yoongi had to admit he was fast. He was never less than two feet away. His arms were always out, and his eyes were honed on the ball in Yoongi's hand. Yoongi passed the ball to an open teammate before running closer to the net. After receiving the ball again, Yoongi completed the layup, scoring another point for his team.

"Yo, are you Suga?" A voice spoke up. He held the basketball in between his two palms. Slightly pausing the game.

"Who's asking?"

"I just wanted to put a face to the name. I wanted to see how much of an upgrade YN is doing by being with me."

Yoongi didn't verbally respond but huffed out a dry laugh. His expression told it all. He did not like this guy at all.

"But I don't blame you, bro. YN is a bad bitch. I can see why you wanted to hold onto her so tightly."

In a swift moment, Yoongi bawled his fist in the collar of the poor sucker who mentioned your name. How dare he call his supposed "girlfriend" a bitch.

"Sensitive, I see." He gleamed smugly in Yoongi's face. Yoongi had to be pulled away by his teammates, as they knew that any second longer would lead to a physical altercation.

"Whatever, man." Yoongi dismissed the guy before picking up his stuff and leaving the basketball court.

-------

KNJ x ex-wife black female reader

Joon pulled into your driveway, excited to see his favorite people, his children. His two-year-old son, Jaehoon and five-year-old daughter, Minah. The children were the remaining attachment Joon had to you since the divorce. Now that Joon was officially a producer for HYBE Entertainment, he was now twenty-five minutes away from you and the kids yall shared. This weekend was Joon's and he was thinking about taking the kids to the music museum in downtown Seoul.

Locking his car Joon rung your doorbell. You were dressed in loungewear with your pineapple puff on top of your head. Your edges were wispy and your round glasses were on the end of your nose. Joon stepped into the house, as you went up the stairs to inform the kids about their dad's arrival.

Nothing much had changed in terms of the decor on the wall. It was still littered with pictures of your children. The one above the fireplace was when Jaehoon was just born. He was one month old dressed as a little Christmas present, and Minah held her baby brother, pressing a sweet kiss on her brother's forehead. It was the same picture that Namjoon carried around in his wallet.

Coming around the corner was a man in a buttoned-down shirt and business casual slacks. His attire was strange for the heatwave Seoul was expiring this summer. Joon stood up and extended his hand for a handshake. Introducing himself as the kids father. A light seemed to go off in the other man's head.

"So you are 'Joon-bug.' " Namjoon's smile got stiff at the pet name his ex-wife frequently called him. The name lacked love and affection coming out of his mouth. Namjoon didn't miss the way the man sized him up. He sucked his teeth loudly, and Joon hoped you would come down the stairs faster with the kids.

"That I am, I guess."

"Well, I'm YN's new man. Things are getting pretty serious between us, so you'll see more of me around."

"O-ok."

"I will take better care of her than you ever could. I see why you would fall in love with a woman like her." He stepped closer to Namjoon, trying to intimidate the six-foot man. Looking around awkwardly, he didn't know what to say to the man.

He harbored no ill feelings toward his ex-wife or her dating life. As long as the man did right by his kids, they did right by him.

"See, I know how to nurture the love of a black woman. I don't run away when things get hard, I stay there and stand tall alongside my woman. I wouldn't even blame you if you wanted to get back with YN. If I fumbled a woman like her, I would do anything to get her back."

"That's great, but I'm just here to get my kids. I'm not here for YN." Namjoon shrugged before waiting at the base of the steps. At the top of the stairs, he saw you helping Jaejoon with his bookbag.

"Appa!" The kids screamed, scurrying down the stairs before hugging Namjoon's leg. Scooping Minah in one arm and Jaejoon in the other, he embraced his kids in a loving hug.

"I missed you guys so much! I have so much stuff planned for you all."

Minah clapped, ready for the week with her dad.

"Can we stop by Uncle Tae's house this week?" She played with her father's hair.

"I'll think about it." Satisfied she didn't get an immediate no, she started waving goodbye to her mother.

"Gimme a kiss." You leaned in close to your kids and kissed their cheeks.

"Be good for your father, and remember I love you." You held the door open for Namjoon as he walked over to his car, helping the kids sit. Getting in the driver's seat, he saw the man squinting his eyes at him.

Weird. Namjoon thought to himself before reversing out of the driveway.

A/N: Yall think Joon got his driver's license yet? (LOL)

#bts x black reader #bts #namjoon x black reader #yoongi x black reader #bts imagines #x black reader #black writers #bts army #kim namjoon #min yoongi

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asmomyluv · 1 year ago

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ATHLETIC MC (DEMON BROS)

Just like the title says! This is my first post lol so please give feedback!

SFW, GN!Reader

Warnings: lillll mashocism for Levi, simpy boys but nothing explicit 🙂

Lucifer, volleyball

The game starts and Lucifer is in the seat closest to the court. He observes the court to him the net is short and as MC stands at the serving line he can't fathom how a human is meant to get the ball all the way to the other side, he’s even more confused when MC stands at the back wall of the gym several feet away from the serving line. As much as he wants to instruct them to stand closer he stays and watches silently. He can already feel the pride radiating from MC as they toss the ball high into the air and run jumping to smack the ball to the other side of the court. MC gets the point as the ball is just barely in the court. MC’s teammates cheer for them but their eyes go straight to Lucifer. They wave to him as they retreat back to serve again. And Lucifer is just as proud of his human as they are of themselves.

Mammon, track

Mammon’s got some serious money bet on this race he thinks, and he has no worry knowing it's HIS human out there. After all The Great Mammon knows how to make a bet and he knows his human has this in the bag. So the race start and MC is already ahead, and yea he expected them to be good but not this good. How can a human be THAT fast? The money he bet completely leaves his mind and he runs to the starting line, he honestly doesn’t care about everyone yelling at him to back off, and as soon as MC crosses the finish line there in his arms.

Leviathan, boxing

(idk much on boxing srry) Levi had been mesmerized the entire time. Sure every time you got hit he felt a little irritation bubble inside of him, but he’d be lying if he said that seeing you with a little blood on the side of your lip and the grin on your face after a connecting hit didn’t make him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He had imagined several scenarios during the match, from you protecting him against your opponent to you hitting him like that. He loved both ideas equally.

Satan, equestrian

Satan loves cats their the best animal simply put. But ever since he met MC’s horse he wanted to see them ride. It was a beautiful animal and he saw the chemistry they had so when he was invited to one of MC’s he got there early and brought a book with him specifically some fun facts about horses and he was ecstatic to see that cats enjoy horses company. So when it finally began he kept his eye on you and the way you carried yourself on such a big animal. You won and he went to the stable to meet you as previously planned. You approached him still in uniform atop your horse and he smiled up at you “You did incredible, both of you”

Asmodeus, cheer

The competition was about to start, and the second the lights came on his eyes shot to you. You did jumps, flips, and stunts that took his breath away. His eyes followed the way your body moved and he fell even more in love with you, if that’s possible. You hit every beat and the way the crowd cheered as you moved closer to the front had him swooning in the final beats of the song you were tossed into a stunt lifting your leg to the back of your head before you were spun around and switch it to the side of your head and with that the song ended and the lights dimmed. With the image of you seared behind his eyes as he tried to remember every detail.

Beelzelbub, soccer

Beel had settled down with his snacks ready for the long game. Being an athlete himself he appreciated your skill on the field. Beel loved everything you did but seeing how happy you were to score each goal put a huge smile on his face. You were better than everyone on the field by miles, all the hard work you had put in was showing. It was almost the end of the game and Beel was on the edge of his seat, he only had one slice of pizza left and he was saving it for you. You scored the last goal and ran off the field to your teammates. Like a scene out of a movie they lifted you up and as your eyes met his and he waved you were more excited to meet up with your favorite ginger than celebrate your win. And besides Beel was the best

Belphegor, basketball

Just watching made him tired, so much movement the running and jumping, and the fact that you actually have to pay attention to the game. And everything moved so fast, honestly, he was half asleep until he heard your name from the announcer. You had the most points scored in the game by half time, and now he was awake. And once he actually paid attention he was intrigued and quite impressed. He felt a certain way each time someone on the opposing team bumped into him and even worse when the ref made a bad call on him. But by the end of the game, he was following the ball, and naturally you with his eyes attentively. And when you tossed the ball from half court and it went in the crowd screamed your praises and he couldn’t wait for you to be done so he could celebrate you himself.

#asmomyluv obeyme obey me obey me shall we date obey me x mc obey me x reader obey me fluff obey me sfw obey me lucifer obey me mammon obey

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lovergirl-3000 · 2 years ago

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Your so beautiful

Neteyam x Fem Na’vi reader

18+

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Cursing, 18+

Summary: You and Neteyam have been friends for a long time and then uncover that you both have more that friendly feelings (wink,wink) Thx for reading I hope you enjoy

It was a typical day in the forest you were watching Neteyam and Lo’ak race their Ikarn’s. Neteyam always looked so focused and on task when he rood his Ikarn. Ever since he was a kid he was always so mature that’s one of the reasons you feel in love with him. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice for the fact that Lo’ak and Neteyam were now gone and you were staring at the sky. “You okay (y/n)” You heard Neteyams voice sound behind you. “Oh yeah Im good” You say with a smile as you stand up and face him. “So um… I was wondering if you wanted to come to… to… see something with me during eclipse” Neteyam said nervously with a hand rubbing the back of his neck “Uh suspicious but yes I would love too” you say with a smile “Okay wait for me at the viperwolf tree right before eclipse” He said with a smile then jumped on his Ikran.

~~~~~~~Time skip to right before eclipse~~~~~

You sat on the branch of Viperwolf tree waiting for Neteyam silently watching all the creatures in the forest. It might’ve been a weird request but honestly any time spent with Neteyam you cherish. You saw him coming up and climb to the lower branches silently. “(Y/n) are you here?” He shouted from right below you “Yep” You say as you swing upside down, hanging by your legs, face-to-face with him. “Oh” He shouts out in surprise “Well I guess I should’ve expected that” He said with a smirk “Yeah you should know that I’m to strange to just sit on the ground wait patiently like a normal Na’vi” You say sassily then flip off the beach and land in front of him “Well come on” He says you can see the excitement and nervousness in his eyes which confused you what the fuck can you be nervous and excited about like bro make up your mind. You both got on his Ikran and you held onto him from behind and put you head on his shoulder. You felt the heat radiating off of him you heart accelerated at the touch you were holding onto him this all you want to do all the time. You landed in a small clearing and he offered you his hand to get off. “Oh such a gentleman” You say as you take it and hop off he just smiles. “Okay come this way and… welcome to… the place yet to be named” He said as he pulled back some vines to reveal a beautiful glowing pond with moss surrounding it with the wall of vines all around it. “This is so beautiful” you say in amazement as you look all around you “Come here sit” He said as he set down and stuck his legs in the water you walked over and put your legs in too. “So this place isn’t the only reason I asked you to come with me. I… I have been falling more and more in love with you every day (y/n).” Your head snaps to look at him and he was already looking at you you take your legs out of the water and sit cross legged across from him and he does the same. “(y/n) you are the kindest most selfless Na’vi I’ve ever met! And your crazy brave and a great warrior and so so beautiful.” He takes your hands in his “And I have never felt anything like when I just hear your name when I think of you when I see you, I’m more in love with you and I love anything. And your appreciation for the forest you’re so wise is and understanding about everything. I… I guess what I’m trying to ask is… will you be my mate?” He finishes and looks straight into your eyes

“Neteyam I’ve been in love with you since we were seven. You are the bravest most selfless Na’vi and you care about your family so much. It’s unbelievable how perfect you are and I don’t care if you’re perfect you don’t have to be I love you with all of your flaws. And you’re such a good leader and I love you! And I guess what I’m trying to say… is yes” You say with a smile as you gaze into his beautiful golden eyes. Then he leans in and holds your face in his hands and kisses you the kiss was soft and just a little touch of his lips against yours. Then he pulls you in onto his lap and you kiss him and this time with passion it was hot and he quickly adjusted and slowly slipped his tongue inside your mouth exploring the train, crashing over your tongue. It was like a war inside your mouths, battling for dominance he flipped you over on to the ground so he was hovering over you he pulled away and looked in to your eyes. “You’re so beautiful” He said as his eyes scanned your form you pulled him back down and started kissing him more aggressively with my passion and faster. You both sat up and looked deep into each others eyes, he scanned over your face for a look of approval and you gave him one. Then you both grabbed your braid and slowly put them together and made the bond. You felt a surge, the electricity flying through you this is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before pure bliss and satisfaction. You then looked at Neteyam with a look in your eyes that you knew would turn on something in him and it worked. He climbed back over you and started kissing you with amazing passion and you both started taking off your clothing then Neteyam looked into your eyes he didn’t even have to ask you knew exactly what you wanted and you knew exactly what he wanted, and you could see you every ounce of crave inside of him he could feel every ounce of anticipation inside of you. Then he slowly pushed him self in to you you could fell you walls stretching from him and you let out a deep breath of satisfaction. You pulled him in closer to you and kissed him you bit down no his lip not enough to hurt him but enough to hurt in a good way. He started to pick up the pace and you felt a heat rising in you he then started to nip and suck at the skin on your neck and jaw. You let out several moans of pleasure and he let out a lot of grunts and groans before you both let out a moan pleasure and he flopped lazily to your side. And you both lay there panting and then look at each other “Well all I have to say is wow. You got some secret talents” You say raising an eyebrow and smirking “Not half bad for my fist time I’ll promise you I’ll get better but I’ll need practice” He say with a smirk “Ooh real smooth” I say sassily and he pulls you in and you fall asleep with your mate.

I hope you all like it I know weird I decided to post this one on Christmas of all days, but merry Christmas to all of you smut lovers there’s not that many Neteyam ones out there so I made one!

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goldenavenger02 · 10 months ago

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Ninjago prompts you say? (Also feel better soon!)

Hmmmm I'm in an S5 mood (tbf I'm almost always in S5 mood) sooo:

How about Cole and Lloyd dealing with Cole's ghost ness after S5?

(After all Lloyd likely developed a reflexive fear of ghosts... Primarily their touch... Pair that with Cole's big bro hugs vibes and it's extra spicy angst)

The other one would essentially create an AU, but it's extra angsty:

Kai hits possessed Lloyd with his aeroblade, thus performing a very rough surprise exorcism

Thank you for the well wishes! I went with the first prompt and it's not as angsty as I would have liked, but I hope you enjoy regardless!

“Cole.” Kai opened the door of the empty cabin where Cole was now staying aggressively, letting it hit the side of the wall.

“Kai, it’s…” Cole shook his head before he said the time out loud.

He knew it was late, Kai knew it was late, everyone was supposed to be asleep by now even if he was given the exception due to not needing it any more, it was still his alone time.

“I know, I know,” Kai insisted, “I just…I need your help with something, in the kitchen. Now.”

“I swear, if you blew something up…” Cole didn’t finish his threat as he followed behind Kai’s fast footsteps to the kitchen, only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw Lloyd sitting at the kitchen island in a dining chair, his head resting on his folded arms.

He pulled his eyes away from Lloyd to look back at Kai, who was searching through the medicine cabinet at a breakneck speed, “what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Kai insisted as he put the thermometer and the box of disposable covers on the counter before turning away from Cole again, “he woke me up, said his ears were hurting and when I got out of bed to see if I could find the Tylenol, turns out he has a fever so bad that I can feel the heat radiating off of him.”

“You sure that’s not just a fire powers thing?” Cole asked, desperately wanting to take a step closer to Lloyd, to see if his temperature was as intense as Kai said but he refrained. It had only been a few weeks since they defeated Morro, the last thing he wanted was to make Lloyd more jumpy.

“There it is!” Kai shouted while pulling the Tylenol out of the spice cabinet, resulting in a soft groan from the island.

Cole had to keep fighting the urge to reach over and rest his ghostly hand on Lloyd’s back.

Kai triumphantly deposited his findings on the counter and the tylenol bottle, the glass of water and the thermometer all made sense, but the faded prescription bottle made Cole reach forward and examine it, trying to find a label only to be met with defeat.

“Kai, what the hell is this?” Cole asked, shaking the orange bottle with the pills inside, “you can’t just give Lloyd random medication.”

“I know that,” Kai huffed as he fitted the probe cover over the thermometer, “those are Lloyd’s, from his last ear infection.”

“First off, how the actual fuck did you read that with how dyslexic you are,” Cole questioned with another squint at the faded label, “and secondly, he hasn’t had an ear infection in like, a year at least.”

“Tryin’ to poison me.” Lloyd muttered as he lifted his head off of his arms with a smirk on his pale face, which Cole had to stifle a laugh at Kai’s scowl.

“You woke me up. I was sleeping peacefully and everything,” Kai flicked the thermometer on, “sit up so you don’t choke on this.”

Lloyd did as he was told, letting Kai slip the thermometer between his lips which allowed Cole to finally get a good look at what they were working with.

Lloyd’s eyes were glassy and also drooping shut with what Cole could clearly see was exhaustion, his cheeks were bright pink with fever but the rest of his face was pale in the dim light of the kitchen.

“Kai, a word,” Cole demanded, pulling Kai up from the dining room chair he had pulled in for himself and walking over to the other side of the room, “what did you need me for? You know how to do this stuff by yourself.”

“Clearly not, I nearly gave Lloyd old antibiotics,” Kai offered a quick smile but it faded from his face as quickly as it came, “look, I know yours and Lloyd’s friendship is a bit strained right now, but I thought-”

“That you should confront his fear while he has a fever and is exhausted out of his mind?”

“Okay, okay, I’ll admit, bad idea,” Kai rubbed a hand over his face, “I didn’t think that through, but everyone else is asleep or in Zane’s case, powered off for the night. You were already awake and I needed someone to…to make sure I didn’t screw up and, if it would mean Lloyd wasn’t scared of your, um, new form-”

“Yeah, I get it,” Cole sighed, “but First Master, you need all of your sleep because you are worse than Jay right now,” he ignored Kai’s angry “hey!” and walked back over to the island as Lloyd pulled the beeping thermometer out of his mouth.

“How high is it?”

“I’m not boiling my brains out of my ears.” Lloyd’s voice was hoarse as he turned the digital thermometer to Cole and Kai, the display reading an even one hundred.

“Yep, that’s probably an ear infection,” Cole agreed, “we’ll get you to a doctor tomorrow, okay?” Lloyd nodded and rested his head on his folded arms again.

“Hey, you need to take this,” Kai reached forward to poke Lloyd’s elbow to which he held out a hand, “First Master, sit up for more then two minutes.”

“So bossy,” Lloyd muttered as he sat up before taking the glass and pills from Kai, “I’m sick, you know.”

“Who woke who up?”

“Touché.” He swallowed the pills and set the empty glass on the island.

Kai stood up and took to the sink to wash quickly, returning with a damp cloth which he handed to Lloyd. “Hold that against the back of your ear.”

Lloyd complied, his shoulders relaxing almost instantly as he rested his free elbow on the island.

“Still got it,” Kai gloated, Cole responded by rolling his eyes, before the fire ninja turned back to Lloyd “Hey, greenie. Cole said I’m really stupid without all of my sleep.”

“He’s not wrong.”

“Hellspawn.”

“Hothead.”

“Not the point,” Kai pinched the bridge of his nose, trying his best to avoid an insult war at…now that Cole thought about it, he had no idea what time it was, “I’m gonna go to bed, and Cole’s gonna stay with you till your Tylenol kicks in. Is that okay?”

Cole swallowed when he saw Lloyd look up at him with a mix of feverish and worry in his green eyes before looking back down at the island.

“Kai, I’m not sure if-” he was cut off by Kai’s glance, his very insistent glance, so Cole mustered up the courage to look Lloyd in the eyes, “up to you, kid.”

“That’s fine,” Lloyd agreed after a beat of silence before looking right at Kai, a smile on his face, “you need all the sleep you can get.”

“You’re a real menace to society, you know that?” Kai insisted before walking over to wrap his arm around Lloyd’s shoulder, whisper something in his ear and pat him on the back before exiting the room.

The only sound to be heard after that was the soft buzzing of the fridge.

Cole couldn’t pry his eyes away from Lloyd, who was just holding the warm cloth to his ear to try and ease the pain but also Lloyd, who was terrified of him; he had been too slow, and because of it, he was going to lose his little brother.

“I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” Lloyd questioned, looking up at him.

“I can’t…I can’t pretend that this is normal, that everything is fine, that I’m not-”

“A ghost?” Lloyd supplied and that was it, Cole couldn’t hide it anymore, Cole couldn’t lie to everyone anymore and say that everything was fine.

Because his friends were alive and he was stuck longing for what once had been.

“You’re allowed to not want me around,” Cole insisted, waiting for the tears that wouldn’t come because he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t produce his new death sentence, “after what you went through, I’m not gonna be mad-”

“I don’t want to,” Lloyd cut him off, stunning him into silence, “I don’t want to be scared of you. You didn’t hurt me, you had nothing to do with…all of this.”

Cole sighed. He knew Lloyd was right; if anyone else was awake, they would also know that Lloyd was right and yet…Cole still couldn’t bring himself to get close to him, to pull him into the tight hug that he so desperately needed.

If he moved too quickly and made Lloyd flinch or worse, scream, he would never be able to forgive himself.

“Why aren’t you scared of me?” Cole finally asked, watching as Lloyd frowned the exact same way his father used to, like he was a carbon copy of their former sensei.

“Because you’re not him.”

Cole couldn’t help but let out a yelp of surprise as Lloyd abandoned the wet cloth to stand up and wrap his arms tightly around Cole.

He immediately did the same to Lloyd, feeling him nestle his head against his shoulder like he always did.

‘At least some things can stay normal.’

#ninjago #lego ninjago #my writing #fic #lloyd garmadon #ninjago cole #ninjago kai #post season 5 #ear infection #angst #light angst #hurt/comfort

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mememanufactorum · 1 year ago

Text

Badger’s Best of 2022 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

* All lines are from this video made by content creator TheRussianBadger.

“I didn’t come here to fuckin’ read!”

“I will carpet bomb your house.”

“No, we’re not going in the direction of ranch.”

“I don’t want to see another video of [name] killing a wasp with ranch dressing.”

“Fuck you, you’re going to the ranch dimension.”

“It’s Ezekiel torn, the Lord is coming back for us. Take me, God!”

“What alcohol do you think [name] would drink? 100% malt liquor.”

“Pass me that travel size Jack Daniels.”

“Yeah, I cleared the house. Off the fucking map.”

“Doctor tried to give me Tylenol instead of percs so I punched him in his fuckin’ face.”

“Your voice is so bassy that my subwoofer keeps shaking my entire fucking wall and I’m scared.”

“You smell like fuckin’ beans, dog.”

“What did I just hear? That doesn’t even sound like an insult.”

“Hey, fall over, break your neck. It’ll be funny.”

“You deserve a bullet.”

“How about you immerse yourself in a shower, bro?”

“I might be 29 years old with dementia, ‘cuz I forgot entirely what the fuck I was gonna say!”

“You did not find your jaw under your bed.”

“The tooth fairy should give you a Dodge Charger if you put your jaw under your bed.”

“Kentucky is literally just farming coal, fried chicken, and horses.”

“Physics wasn’t lying, that particle can exist upon observation.”

“If I hear another ‘swas’, I will fire my Kar 98k into oncoming traffic.”

“I’m showing these mortals what’s good.”

“Even your exhale was autotuned.”

“You sound like a Decepticon charging up.”

“That’s not the pitch moving, that’s just me existing.”

“Yeah, this is going great. Suck my fucking dick.”

“The ocean is a soup. Well, it’s filled with microplastics, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“I hit critical mass, bro. My computer just died.”

“I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club. You can’t even get in.”

“Michael Jordan’s classic punchline when he sunk it from three: Shabingus.”

“What the dog doing? Literally crushing an entire metropolis.”

“My wife is the greatest, I really love her. First thing I hear? ‘Cringe’.”

“Parry this, you stupid fuckin’ lizard.”

“I land an 86-hit combo, he hits one haymaker and I just fuckin’ DIE?”

“Go left, you fuckin’ rat.”

“Why are you giggling like a goblin?”

“The rule of God is incoming.”

“Now I know what you meant by ‘the blast radius is YES’.”

“I rob literally everyone I know on purpose.”

“You can’t call me mommy either. You guys are fucking weird.”

“I’m not even shooting that guy, that was so impressive.”

“My brother in Christ, you are witnessing our extinction.”

“That’s him, officer, he wasn’t using the Wii wrist strap.”

“That is, like, the ultimate form of spawn camping.”

“Yeah, because we can barely fuckin’ hear you. Shut the fuck up.”

“That shit was actually giving me a headache a little bit.”

“You are blind in your left eye, don’t talk to us about not having RGB.”

“I’m blind in both eyes, don’t feel bad.”

“Your cat stole your radiator? How does a cat steal a radiator?”

“Nah, bro, he do be certified in HVAC.”

“If you don’t like the dollar fifty hot dog at Costco, you belong in a jail cell. I have nothing else to say to you.”

“I pour the milk, I pour the cereal, and then I get out the bowl.”

“It don’t really matter which one’s first. The bowl is last. Everybody knows that.”

“Blunt force trauma to the head is what killed the very hungry caterpillar?”

“You just made me uncontrollably sneeze.”

“I did not stand a chance. The game was rigged from the start.”

“The fucking brain on this kid!”

“When vehicles are the only thing tethering you to the earth.”

“This silence got me fucked up.”

“Damn, that’s sad as hell. You gotta light up your dinner with a BIC?”

“Nah, it’s been going good these last few months, I got a fourth lighter.”

“I take some chicken noodle Campbell’s soup with me, right? I stick it in the fire and I let the ash get in the soup, and you mix it around, and, I swear to God, it makes it taste better.”

“You know what I do? Not fucking that.”

“That just woke me out of my nap, bro. That brought me to reality.”

“Turn that bullshit channel off, bro, I’m trying to go back to bed.”

“I will fucking kill you if you change the hot dog.”

“It’s really funny when you have to explain what Hamburger Helper is to your wife. She does not understand what it is.”

“Y’all be eating? Shit, I’m over here just breathing, that’s all I get. Good old bowl of air soup.”

“I’m pretty sure [name] had to pay his rent with beans this month.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go drink a gallon of rat poison, I’ll be right back.”

“I’m about to turn you into a fucking Hot Pocket.”

“That lizard took one sip of the McDonald’s Sprite and I was DONE.”

“Why do you laugh like a fucking hyena?”

“Did someone just say unemployment rate falls to zero when you commit genocide on a fucking planet?”

“You can’t glass a fucking planet and say ‘I did it because it solved the unemployment problem’.”

“I now understand why he’s so pissed, bro. That motherfucking bird was outrunning his ass for YEARS.”

“I would be so pissed if all I heard every day: ‘MEEP MEEP’.”

“Make it make sense, dude.”

“Y’all gonna kill me the way y’all talking, bruh.”

“What about that... Mother-motherfucker 43?”

“Ah yes, the ultimate trait in a sniper rifle: A glaring lack of accuracy.”

“You zigged when you should have zagged, my boy.”

“Head empty, only bullet.”

“Give me all the flash grenades you have.”

“Bitch, I’m back out my coma.”

“I am not accepting that reality.”

“Google’s gonna call you an idiot like the fucking computer from Courage.”

“Why am I getting in trouble for speaking the truth?”

“He’s already in jail for second rate shaboingery.”

“Are you talking about the kid that actually went to jail for shaboingery?”

“Imagine being brought in on felony tomfoolery charges.”

“I will admit I was fully aware and cognizant of what I was doing. This was not an accident.”

“You know [name]? He’s allergic to water, dumbass was a fisher for eight years.”

“He’s allergic to water? How? He IS water!”

“Damn, that’s pretty hydrophobic of you. Why would you say that?”

“I need you to put ONE BALL in the hole and you couldn’t land shit!”

“Y’all the type to put fifty dollars down for that stuffed animal, huh?”

“For a second there, I became that meme of that dude sitting in a fast food restaurant just glowing orange.”

“You can’t say the word ‘hamster’ without laughing. ‘Hamster’ is a real word.”

“You’re going to heaven, big boy.”

#roleplay meme #roleplay prompt #rp meme #rp prompt #TheRussianBadger

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