#bro was sucking the battery life out of it at the end

[havonte]

Drop it like it’s hot

[brynnterpretations]

see youve been doing a lotta theboys ship reqs recently HUGE kudos to u got damn, and i love how u write them sm !! hope u dont mind one more ^^ (fine w p much anyone except homelander or deep)

im an anxiety-ridden autistic bi british tguy with a pretty hefty male lean, 5'6"-ish, long hair thats shaved on one side , lotsa face piercings , pretty hairy , scruffy jaw , got a "would be a bear if i hit the gym more often" kinda build . i wear shades 24/7 bc i hate eye contact and bright lights . i generally dont bother picking out an outfit but when i do i lean towards a kinda 50s greaser vibe even tho i dont have a bike or anything

im a recluse and not particularly social , i end most conversations quickly but politely tho i dont let myself get walked over . i do like going for walks , particularly walking my cat , or otherwise hauling something around , its a good workout , but most of the time im indoors and just drawing/animating (what im attending uni for) or playing games . i prefer talking online to in person cause of low social battery , even for family n close friends .

im insecure but otherwise i think j have pretty good self-esteem , and tho im not diagnosed im like 95% sure ive got covert narcissism , i see most people as below me in some way but i dont express this obviously . a lack of attention , particularly online , is distressing and upsetting , and i get defensive very easy . i THRIVE on the feeling of caring for or protecting someone both bc it feeds this and is the only time i can power through my social anxiety .

uhhh cat lover , marine life lover , would spend the rest of my life in an aquarium , would rather be a shark than a human , dont like getting dressed if i dont have to , nail biter , dragon fanatic , would probably be a supe given the chance

hope thats not too much , and thank you !

Thank you so much for the kind words! I hope you like this. ♡

I ship you with...

Frenchie ♡

Boyfriend

GIF Source: @samuelroukin ★ (link)

You and Frenchie meet while you're walking your cat. Frenchie is a huge cat guy (I will die on this hill), and though he hasn't had any of his own since his early twenties, he still makes it his mission to interact with them as much as he can. Cat on the street? Gets pet. Cat in those windows of veterinary offices that you can walk into if you don't seem too shady? Gets pet. Cat in a house the coup is raiding? Gets pet, and moved to a safer location.

So, when he sees your cat being walked, the dude has to go over. Plus, not gonna lie, even in NYC, it's pretty uncommon to see cats being walked, especially down the street that the boys' hideout is located on.

He uses small talk to warm up the awkwardness that comes with a random French man coming up on the street to pet your cat, and eventually asks if you'd ever want to go on a walk sometime. While he initially had his eyes set on your cat, when the guy looked up at you, he immediately saw that you're really, really cute. He has a weakness for facial piercings and for general "scruffiness", so add that on to the cat and the general reservedness? Bro's set.

Through that, you start hanging out a lot and getting to know each other. Frenchie's not a texting person, so you two tend to call a lot, and have a lot of cute but low-key dates, like cooking meals for you at his apartment and playing video games.

And, on that note: Frenchie absolutely sucks at video games, but he has fun playing them with you. While Frenchie is very spatially aware in real life, he is not in online games — bro would get absolutely flamed in any CoD lobby — but would have a blast going through your video game of choice by your side.

You would have to help him with the controls... a lot... but it would be worth it.

Frenchie doesn't really believe in "rushing in" or "waiting too long"; he just makes it official once he feels like it's right. After 2 – 3 months with you, he'd ask if you'd like to be together upfront.

And, once you are: you two would be very, very happy together.

Frenchie's a very intuitive person, and while he wouldn't make any assumptions considering your diagnoses/suspected conditions (he's not about that life), he would catch on to your need for attention and care.

Since he's not really a texter, he'd either call you or send you voice notes to say good morning, good night, tell you about something that reminded him of you, etc.

Is your #1 fan concerning your art, and is endlessly in awe of what you do. He would constantly show your work off to the coup, and would definitely commission you for artwork when your schoolwork slowed down (no, he won't accept free shit, he will commission you, point-blank).

Considering Frenchie's been through a lot, you being a caring person and a "protector" would do wonders for the relationship. While Frenchie's a protective guy himself, the dude wants some time to slow down and be taken care of, and would love anything you did for him and reciprocate it completely.

Is a huge physical touch guy, and as long as you were fine with it, would always have an arm around you, his hand in yours, etc.

Also would definitely love to be the little spoon with you, especially because you're very close in height (he's about 5'8).

Is a big gift-giver, and would always purchase anything he saw that reminded him of you, whether it's a shark stuffed animal, or one of those seashell necklaces that street vendors sell.

Also, he's a bit freaked out about marine life — the vastness of the ocean really, really freaks him out, partially because of a near-drowning accident he had as a kid — but would always go to aquariums with you and try to find aquatic spaces to do stuff.

He would do the ocean, but as much as he loves you, he's probably gonna try limiting that to special occasions.

Would 100% spoil your cat, and if you were up for it, adopt one for you two to co-parent.

Also doesn't have many reservations about moving in "early" — again, timestamps aren't really too important to him — and would especially encourage it if it helped any student finances.

On that note, the guy cannot do structured and organized learning, so he would always brag about your postsecondary education and do everything to encourage you, whether it's bringing you your favorite snacks while working on end-of-the-year projects or rubbing your hands and back after finishing an art piece.

He wouldn't hide his work with the Boys from you, and honestly, would encourage you to get involved, particularly through artwork — anti-Supe propaganda, especially aesthetic pleasing ones, have been lacking nowadays. He'd be open about his work and introduce you to the boys before you became official.

And that brings us to...

The Boys ☻

Friends

GIF Source: @yocalio ★ (link)

So, it's corny... but you and Butcher definitely both bond over both being British/from the U.K. You're one of very few people who were able to immediately understand both his accident and what he was referring to in British slang upon first meeting.

Plus, the guy likes you, even if he doesn't talk to you much. He respects reserved types a lot, and appreciates you leveling out Frenchie's chaos instead of blowing it up (...most of the time).

He wouldn't make an effort to get super close to you — let's be real, he's got a lot of shit to deal with — but would probably invite you out for drinks every once in a while.

A dealbreaker for Frenchie is whether you get along with Kimiko, and fortunately, you two do. While you're not extremely close — you're both pretty introverted, and Kimiko never wants to feel like she's prying — Kimiko really, really likes you, especially when she sees you drawing. She's quite the artist herself, and is fascinated by not only your amazing work, but by the fact you're going to college for it.

Whenever you stop by the hideout, she wouldn't communicate with you much, instead opting to just enjoy your company in silence.

And, if you bring art supplies, she would be so down to parallel-play with you and her drawing side-by-side. While she's not academically trained, she is extremely good at drawing landscapes, and would be very intrigued by your art, as mentioned.

Also would draw you as a present, which would be very cute, even if not fully anatomically correct.

M.M. would like you a lot — he vibes with the shades the first time he sees you — and I feel like you two would be the closest out of the coup. While him encouraging you to would be a bit... annoying... the guy really enjoys your company, and would bond over your shared love of cats.

Would also ask you a lot of questions about cats, because his cat is getting a bit too pudgy and might need to take some strolls downtown.

While you'd be close, he wouldn't ask to hang out with you too much outside of the coup, instead having most of your fun during late nights, considering he's so busy; he'd probably order a pizza for you, Frenchie, and Kimiko and talk with you, and play video games on the very rusty-crusty-dusty XBox that they got to placate Hughie.

Also: he's killer at FPS games, and if you play one with him, y'all will immediately become best friends.

Hughie, Annie, and you wouldn't be super close, but you wouldn't be on bad terms either.

Hughie, quite honestly, would be intimidated; as a ball of social anxiety who tends to seek out more talkative types (E.G. Robin and Annie), he tends to overthink with more quiet people who are less easy to read, and your shades can make it pretty hard for him.

However, your art would definitely lead him to talk to you more (albeitly awkwardly and only in passing), and, if you or Frenchie mention that you play video games... he would try engaging in a yap session with you.

Yes, yes, it's not a stereotypical, "cool guy" game, but Hughie is a huge fan of Minecraft — he's an excellent architect and has actually made tons of custom maps for people to download — so if you play either (or you don't give him a hard time about it), he'd open up to you a lot more.

As for Annie, she just... can't really get a vibe on you. She thinks you're a pleasant person and respects you (she has a lot of admiration for people who go into the arts), but she's someone who believes to be able to "vibe-check" people pretty easily, and because she can't on you, doesn't really know where to go from there.

She wouldn't want to pry, so she wouldn't push you to open up yourself, but if she got more glimmers of you — whether it's through overseeing you and Kimiko drawing, or catching you and M.M. playing on the XBox — she'd spark up a lot more conversations with you.

[borathae]

Girls do you have a dating advice? I'm coming here because I like that this space doesn't cater to overrated stupid gender roles.

I like this guy on my campus and I felt he might too so ended up asking him out for a coffee! He agreed very enthusiastically and chose a lovely café. I felt very comfortable with him but I'm not sure if he considered it a a coffee with a friend. He did share that he's an introvert and he doesn't go out much because he's sober now and that he's shy. He said he wished the coffee meetup was longer he did text me to stay warm and kept the conversation going for a few days after sharing little updates about his day, telling me twice that he really enjoyed talking to me and thought I was smart. Then silence. I reached out, he was very sweet again and we texted briefly. Then silence again for a week.

My question is should I ask him out again or do I wait for him to reciprocate this ? I'm willing to try if it's shyness but I don't want to be the girl that thinks this is something that it isn't. I truly don't mind his shyness but I'm scared he's just being polite and sweet to an acquaintance and that's it.

as an introvert myself who rarely texts back right away, this could just be him being an introvert. After a full day of living in an extrovert ruled world, it can get pretty tiring for us and answering people's texts is sometimes already too much mental work to do even if we really care about the person. also, once we do have free time and time to noone but ourselves, we don't wanna ruin the healing time by making mental space for other humans even if it's just texts, so we'll just tell ourselves "I'll get to that later, I gotta have me time rn". so yeah that could be why there is long pauses in between texting. it's probs not you but him recharging his batteries.

straight men don't tell an acquaintance that they wanted the meetup to be longer and that they enjoyed the talk. bro all my male straight friends are the driest motherfuckers ever despite genuinely caring for our friendship. Most men don't say stuff like that and he's just an acquaintance for now. There's even less reason for him to be that lovey dovey with you other than that he wants to give you romantic hints.

you were strangers (sort of) before you asked him and he agreed enthusiatically. you weren't friends just agreeing on a lil friend date in a local café, you guys were strangers who met up with the goal of getting to know each other better. which also brings me back to point two. he didn't really know you before your meet up, he didn't have any sort of unspoken friendship friendliness rule of "tell your friends you liked the hangout" to follow.

Yes ask him out. we've long stopped waiting for men to make the first move. if you wanna see him again, do it. he'll probably appreciate it because of his shyness.

if it doesn't work out, hell you experienced life and made fucking stories to tell later. you won't die from it and will only come out more mature.

if it works out, congrats you just gave yourself a chance to a (potentially) happy romance. enjoy it.

Sorry if my advice sucked, I think I'm still not back to my full potential. If anyone of you wants to leave advice as well, do so hahaha cause I think mine was very mediocre. i also wanna say that dude idk i think i'm still too sad about what happened to really think clearly. sorry if all my answers were shit, it's because i still feel like shit from bangtan leaving.

[stormclouds-chainmail]

[Image description: a reddit post in r/ADHD by u/Phaesporic that reads:

When you buy things, pay the ADHD tax upfront

[plain text: When you buy things, pay the ADHD tax upfront]

I've seen a lot of posts about the ADHD tax-- the late fees, the groceries that go bad, lost items, impulse purchases we never touch... you get the picture. It's real, and it sucks.

One thing I've noticed lately, though, is how sometimes, you can get away with paying a smaller ADHD tax if you plan ahead when you buy things. Hear me out.

1. I could buy a whole crown of fresh broccoli for like, $1.50, but I won't get around to washing, cutting, and preparing it. A $2.50 bag of pre-cut, pre-washed broccoli will get eaten. Instead of a $1.50 ADHD tax for broccoli I won't eat, it's a $1.00 tax for broccoli I will eat.

2. A cute planner or notebook with a great layout is worth $30 if I will actually use it. An awkward-to-use planner that I'm not motivated to ever touch is useless, and not worth spending even $5 on.

3. With vitamins, if they're not gummies, I won't maintain the habit of taking them. I'll pay extra for the gummy vites that I will use versus the regular ones I will waste.

Other things include: paying for Spotify Premium because I know that ads (or going to find music elsewhere) will distract me. Only buying clothes from stores with really long return windows, even if it's pricier (REI lets you return things for a full year, bro). Paying more for a phone with a really long battery life so it's not dead half the time.

As someone who was raised to be frugal, a lot of this stuff feels kinda shameful almost? But when I stop and think about it, I stand by my assessment that it's actually cheaper this way.

Edit: thank you! but please don't spend money on awards. spend it on pre-washed, fresh cut broccoli, pals

Edit 2: Y'all make some great points. The encouragement and understanding in the comments is making my whole week.

After some further reflection, some things really stand out to me:

Viewing willpower and energy as limited resources is critical. Purchases are cost + willpower + energy. Whole, unwashed broccoli is lower on cost but higher on willpower and energy demands.

-> I feel like we can punish ourselves for wasting time. Like I convinced myself "don't buy pre-prepped veggies if you're gonna waste 8 hrs on video games, you can spare the time." But that's basically punishing myself for having ADHD by depriving myself of vegetables I'd actually eat.

-> Besides, maybe the 20 mins I save by having pre-prepped broccoli means I have enough mental energy to wash some dishes after I eat, which means washing dishes on Saturday takes 40 minutes instead of an hour, which means I have enough energy to clean my room, and so on.

2. Frozen vegetables & fruit, meal kits, and bulk purchases help. I will also add: did you know you can freeze bread?? Then toast it and it's good!

3. Point of caution: spending more on something doesn't necessarily mean it's more likely to be used. We have all been there. But if something will genuinely be more usable or more functional at a higher cost, it might be really worth it.

/end ID]

[ourotteradventures]

Your Birthday and Life Updates

I have been wanting to make a post for a while, but with our move across states and all the other things that fell out (my car being totaled :,( rip) I didn’t have the energy. Thankfully, things have slowed down a little bit before this academy starts. Actually, let’s just start from the last time that I updated our blog. 

January/February time frame our work situation began to get a little messy. I was tired of certain people at the company taking advantage of my kindness and skills. As well as my time, that was being taken from my little one and it wasn’t even for good people or a good cause. Our mutual friendships blossomed in some ways and detached in others. For that, I’m sorry that it happened how it did because I never wanted that to be the end result. It was super fun though to go out with Austin and Kiara and Nicole to just have a good time without work being involved. March we returned to finish the rounds of testing for this new career. It was fun and we got to do some trails, but we also got rear ended (in the same damn car...bro what is the deal?!) and the meth head fled. We took a picture with my bumper to laugh it off as we went back home. I think that is one of my favorite things about you and our relationship. I don’t have to consume myself with dread and misery (I know, I know, but you’re “emo” *shush*) unnecessarily (see how I closed that out?). No matter how shitty the situation is, you find a way to make me smile and we take it on together. It’s the first time in my life that I haven’t been so uptight in a relationship.

April was an eternity as we prepared for our last month before the move. It was the anticipation stress that was killing us (me...it was mostly me). The tensions kept rising and I told Jason he could basically suck my dick - which he didn’t take well in the team area. Too bad bitch boy. Then Jason wanted to go to war in Signal, which is honestly so weird. What a weird platform and principle (being wrong) to die on bro? Like are you good? May was a whole year within the first week of the month. My official last day was the second. I got a giant nail in my tire with a washer on it (that’s convenient isn’t it?) and had to get a new set of tires.... to then get t-boned with my little one in the backseat...just trying to get Dingy his damn patch. Then he had a fever of 105.6 and I had to take him to urgent care, and of course they cancelled my health insurance early. My dad was in my uncle’s plane when it crashed. Honest to god, it was a country song and if we had a dog babe....it would have died. I cried at my munchkin’s Kindergarten graduation and everyone wanted to bring that up. Then came the move, the dreaded move and the insurmountable (so it seemed) move/road trip. The Uhaul reservation kept changing because they didn’t have a 20 footer available. Then the one we got had a check engine light on it so we had to go to a different location. When you started it that check engine light came on....then they forgot the dolly. Then my mom delayed our start time because she wanted her “last night of freedom”. Finally, once we touched down at the apartment... the fucking UHaul’s battery died mysteriously. It started to hail while my new car was in the open parking for us to download the garage and the maintenance dude pulled in when I was trying to get it to cover. You got to meet Minns though! I’m so glad you both liked each other and you had a good time listening to his stories - that dude is honestly the biggest life saver I have out here (aside from you now).

And now? June! Your birth month. The month that I usually pay no mind to and don’t really enjoy as I’m not the biggest summer fan (at least out in the desert, but here it is nice!) You started your new position while you build for your future. I’m doing the admin stuff to prep for the academy and we got a new kitten!! He’s such a snuggle bug and Athena ended up loving him. Hades has grown into the home and our family. So I decided that I was going to make you your favorite meal and get some of your favorite snacks. It turned out pretty ok! Honestly, I wish that there was more magical wording and pretty phrasing to  wrap everything up but my brain is only letting me use like 50-60% capacity. This? This is the best that we are getting currently. Let’s get to the photos already!

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 3

18+ MINORS DNI

Pairing: Shigaraki x Dabi (just this part), Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader (very brief and vague reference to Dabi x Hawks)

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: smut and feels, it's literally just smut, blow jobs, friends(?) with benefits, blow jobs, anal fingering, light degradation (both for shigs and reader), could maybe be interpreted as slight dubcon, dirty talk, slutty dabi, dabi is an asshole, so is tomura, reader has gender neutral pronouns, I'm keeping it fem cause Shigs hates women and calls them that

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: In which the boys share in some good ole roommate bonding activities and Tomura has a blow job induced epiphany.

AO3 Mirror

Taglist: @dillybuggg (shoot me an ask if you want to be tagged and make sure to check my rules!)

Dabi’s mouth was wet and so fucking warm as he swallowed around Tomura’s dick.

“Oh fuck…” he groaned as Dabi hummed around his length and did that thing where he flicked the ball of his tongue ring over Tomura’s slit.

Bright blue eyes stared up through deceptively long lashes, smirking at the way Tomura drooled as he got his soul sucked out the tip of dick. The mattress underneath him creaked despite the negligible weight of both their bodies. Dabi settled on his stomach between Tomura’s pale thighs leaving fingerprint bruises in soft flesh.

They did this sometimes, though he wasn’t quite sure when exactly it started. Dabi had been his randomly assigned roommate freshman year and he grew so used to living with him that the two of them had just silently, yet mutually agreed not to fuck something up that wasn’t broken. They both berated each other for their strange and somewhat disgusting habits—Dabi would say that Tomura was a gross shut-in creep who needed a fucking shower and Tomura called Dabi out on his slutty pastimes and obsession with piercing the hell out of every available inch of skin.

And sometimes they sucked each other off.

It was overall not a terrible arrangement—Dabi got his fill of dick and Tomura could no longer be made fun of for being completely inexperienced. Plus, as much as he was loathe to admit, Dabi was really fucking good at oral. Like, demonically good. He’d been going down on Tomura for so long now too that he’d learned all the things that had him spilling onto that pierced tongue in minutes.

Tomura jerked from his thoughts when two, lube slicked fingers prodding at his ass.

“Dabi, what the fuck are you—” he protested, wiggling his scrawny hips up the bed and inadvertently letting his cock slip out of the inviting heat between his roommate’s lips.

He couldn’t see much other than the shaking mop of black hair and pale hands with chipped black nail polish digging into his legs, yanking him back.

“Shut up freak,” Dabi slurred, words slick with spit and Tomura’s precum. Dabi said it tasted like battery acid, but it never stopped him from guzzling it like he did with cheap whiskey and cigarettes on the weekends. “I know you like it.”

He did like it, but Tomura wasn’t about to contribute to the fucking evil grin Dabi was giving him as he circled the tight ring of muscle, slipping in a finger to the first knuckle.

Tomura’s head flopped back on the pillows as he bit back a low moan, “Fuck off.”

“If you say so,” Dabi shoved his finger in roughly, squeezing a second in behind it and letting Tomura bask in the burn of being stretched too quickly before ripping his hands away.

“No!” Tomura wailed pretty fucking shamelessly and grabbed the retreating wrist, placing Dabi’s tatted hand back on his dick that throbbed and leaked painfully.

“Dude, what’s gotten the fuck into you?” his roommate asked, smirking still, but pumping Tomura's cock loosely nonetheless. “Our walls are thin as hell, you know I can hear you jerkin' it in here every night, and now you’re practically begging for me to suck you off. Usually I gotta come to you.”

He was infuriatingly right again.

Tomura had indeed asked for him to do this, which was definitely out of character for him. Most of the time when they ended up in this position, it was because Dabi spent hours hounding him about it or just fucking dropped to his knees and whipped Tomura’s cock out in the middle of a movie night or snuck into his room while Tomura was gaming and swallowed him whole just to laugh at the way his online friends reacted to the noises.

He’s just been so pent up lately, and you insisting on fucking touching his arm or sitting on the floor between his feet at League meetings was really not helping it.

“I don’t know,” Tomura lied, both to Dabi and himself in the hopes that the head of black hair would just go back to bobbing on his dick like he so desperately needed it to.

“Bro, I have fucked with enough people to know when they’re wishing I was someone else,” Dabi scoffed and ran a blessedly hot tongue from base to tip and suckled softly at the blush pink head before pulling back with a wet pop. “So who is it?”

“I’m not fucking thinking about anyone,” Tomura hissed, fisting Dabi’s spiky, black locks and thrusting into his mouth till he felt the contractions of Dabi gagging around his length. “Usually you're jumping at the chance to get dick in your mouth, so why does it matter?”

Dabi pulled back, wiping the silvery string of spit leaking past his lips away and scowling as his fingers ghosted over Tomura’s balls and sank back into his pliant ass.

“Seriously creep, I’m five seconds away from ghosting and you can fuck your hand like the sad little bitch you are. So tell me their name or I’m walking right now.”

Tomura huffed as he felt Dabi’s long, rough fingers pulled from him again and the heat of his mouth growing farther away.

“Ugh fine, it’s that bitch I’ve been working on the English thing with.”

Dabi made a face like his brain was buffering.

“Seriously?” he asked, mouth gaping in a way that had Tomura even more furious his dick wasn’t buried in it.

“Yes!” he shouted and grabbed Dabi’s cheeks in both hands, sinking past his waiting lips and practically purring when he felt them close around the base as his long tongue massaged the shaft. “Oh god yes…”

Dabi rolled his eyes, managing to look smug even with a cock stretching his lips taught against the piercings. He used to try and tease Tomura about how small his dick was, but it was hard to believe him. Especially with how he choked sometimes when Tomura got rough with him despite his boasts of lacking a gag reflex. Not to mention how he looked now, jaw probably aching with the stretch and loving every second of it.

Tomura lazily bucked his hips up and whined high when the fingers in his ass curled and thrust against that fucking spot he hadn’t known was there until Dabi found it for him.

The pleased sound he made tapered off into a growl though, when his roommate with questionable benefits pulled off again to run his slutty fucking mouth.

“Tell me about it,” he mumbled, kitten licking at Tomura’s cock and running the ball of his piercing through the slit again. Tomura gulped when he pulled it back into his mouth to swallow the bead of precum he’d collected. “I’ve seen your fucking paramour around before, pretty serious about school though. And kinda out of your league too, not gonna lie. So, what would you do if your cute little partner was here instead?”

Tomura bristled at the insult but couldn’t keep his pissed off look when Dabi went back to sucking his cock like a pro and curling those fucking fingers against his prostate. When he did speak, he blushed hard at the way his voice cracked and sounded like he was crying.

“I don’t fucking—holy shit—know,” he gasped and Dabi hummed both to egg him on and to get a whole new wave of precum gushing out of Tomura’s dick.

“C’mon man,” Dabi groaned, and Tomura distinctly heard the sound of a pants zipper and felt Dabi’s hips canting against the sheets.

That fucking masochistic whore. He would get off to Tomura dirty talking about someone else while he sucked his dick.

He considered stopping the whole thing right there, but then Dabi was sinking a third finger into his ass and thrusting hard while he hallowed his cheeks around Tomura’s cock and sucked—

“Tits!” Tomura cried and covered his burning, red cheeks with his hands. “I want to put my fucking face in them and taste them in my mouth. Sometimes I can see the outline of their nipples when we’re working and the air conditioning comes on and I want to suck on them so fucking bad I can’t think about anything else the whole night.”

Once he got started, Tomura found the words just spilled from him like a dam had burst. Dabi, the depraved bastard, groaned loud and ground his pierced dick harder against the mattress as he continued to deepthroat Tomura’s cock and fuck his ass at that perfect angle.

“Sometimes when they drag me to their stupid club I lose the rounds cause I—oh god, oh fuck—just imagine them in my lap, sitting on my cock and fucking writhing and squeezing me while we face off. Such a fucking—Dabi more!—stereotypical try-hard, bitch but I want to be inside them so fucking bad,” he felt actual tears stinging the raw corners of his eyes when Dabi sped up on his dick.

Tomura scrapped his nails against Dabi’s scalp, holding on for dear life as his breathing became even more ragged than usual. His friend’s cruelty streak reared its ugly head as Dabi sensed the tensing of Tomura’s balls and the clench of his tight ass and slowed down a fraction, keeping him teetering on the edge of an explosively pleasurable release.

“Fucking asshole,” he growled, but didn’t dare try to fuck Dabi’s face lest he make good on his threat to leave Tomura high and dry. “I just—shit, ah, don’t stop—they talk to me sometimes and I just wanna suck their tongue into my mouth so they shut up and I need to hear them fucking falling apart or using that stupid, stuck up teacher voice on me and fucking my ass—Dabi Fuck—is that what you wanted to hear?”

Dabi, because he got off on being a little shit, gave him one last delicious swallow before pulling back and fisting Tomura’s sopping wet cock. The fingers had stopped thrusting and were now pressed hard against his prostate, sending shocks through his body and making him twitch violently as his blood rushed with endorphins. He never stopped grinding his own dick against Tomura’s cotton sheets the whole time.

“You got it bad huh, don’t ya creep,” he mused, letting a fat glob of spit fall from his lips and keep his palm slick. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk about fucking anything, much less another actual person.”

“No I fucking don’t, “ Tomura writhed against the pillows, giving in to the undeniable urge to simultaneously fuck up into Dabi’s hand and ride his fingers.

“Who knew you were such a desperate whore, falling for the first person to show you a modicum of attention,” Dabi jeered and squeezed the tip of his dick hard, listening to Tomura let out a choked sob. “I’m actually kinda proud of you, bro. My little incel baby’s growing up.”

Dabi cooed at Tomura, sinking sharp teeth deep into the meat of his thigh and sucking a bruise into the flesh.

“You’re the one—nghh—getting off on it,” Tomura clapped back but didn’t bother denying it again.

There was a sense of dread growing in his gut alongside the mounting pleasure of his orgasm that Dabi was currently holding hostage. Dabi may have had a dickish personality just as massive as the actual dick that was currently painting his comforter in stains, but he knew Tomura.

And he did, admittedly have much more experience with these types of things.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Dabi grunted. “Last time I let you return the favor you bit my fucking cock. I gotta get off somehow.”

“Don’t say rude shit to me and I won’t bite you.”

“Watch it, Tomura,” Dabi huffed and nipped at his thigh again. “You should be thanking me for my services.”

“Not if you’re gonna keep running your mouth instead of sucking me off,” he tried to sound intimidating but he was well and truly wrecked and couldn’t find the energy to give his words an edge.

“You should ask them out,” Dabi continued, ignoring the failed attempts at banter. “Bring ‘em over or some shit. Maybe then if I lock down that blonde piece of ass I’ve been talking to, we’ll both have much more interesting things to go down on.”

“Your whore ass is the one always jumping me, don’t act like it’s a fucking chore,” Tomura groaned as Dabi started licking at his cock again, pressing sloppy, half kisses on the tip as he jerked it in his fist.

“Not my fault I get bored sometimes,” he replied and closed his eyes as Tomura clenched particularly hard around Dabi’s relentless fingers. “But seriously, you should go for it. I’d kill to find out if you’re just as bad at eating pussy as you are sucking dick.”

“Fuck y—” Tomura started to say when Dabi reared up till they were chest to chest and their foreheads knocked together.

“I fucking will if you don’t shut up, creep, and I think it’d be so much better if you handed your fucking virginity to that pretty little partner bitch instead,” he said and stunned Tomura into silence when he licked into his mouth.

Dabi had kissed him before, but Tomura could count the number of occasions on one hand and almost all had been when his punk ass roommate was drunk as hell and in his feels about some tortured past. But Dabi’s eyes were bright and lucid now, blinking down at Tomura as he dragged their tongues together, flooding his mouth with the faint taste of cigarettes and jizz.

Their cocks brushed together too, the stimulation making Tomura whine into Dabi’s lips, who dropped a merciful hand down, taking them both in his fist and began pumping.

He didn’t stop as he pulled back, grinning down at Tomura like a fucking maniac—all shitty tattoos and silver piercings. The little barbels that stuck through Dabi’s nipples brushed against his own and made him moan at the cool metal and hot skin on his sensitive chest. Tomura was fucking sensitive everywhere, as Dabi had helped him discover, probably from a lifetime of being touched more by cheap sweatshirts than human hands.

“Now,” Dabi grunted as he thrust loosely against Tomura’s cock and his own fist before pulling away to settle back between his legs. “Shut up and cum down my throat—gotta give your virgin ass a refresher on mind shattering orgasms, so you know if that bitch is any good or not.”

Tomura’s tongue was halfway around a witty comeback when Dabi swallowed him to the hilt once again and started working his ass even harder. He really fucked hoped the neighbors were not home to hear him get his shit rocked at 2pm on a fucking Tuesday, cause Dabi might have been flunking out of his classes but he’d get a goddamn A plus for sucking dick.

The hand on his thigh, spreading him open, migrated to his hip so that Tomura could snap his legs shut hard around Dabi’s ring littered ears as he guided Tomura to grind down on his hand. The pressure in his gut built up exponentially higher now that Dabi wasn’t trying to hold him on the edge of climax. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time for him to acquiesce to Dabi’s request, as he tightened up in a full body clench before gripping Dabi’s hair and spilling rope after rope of hot, sticky release straight onto his roommate’s tongue.

Dabi, the fucking slut, made a show of swallowing every drop that spilled from Tomura’s abused cock, milking his prostate the whole time and only letting Tomura slip from his mouth when he was soft and finally spent.

The fingers in his ass remained though, still for the most part and slowly dipping in and out every so often. Tomura whimpered and clenched but was somewhat thankful for the remaining feeling of fullness.

“So, did you really mean all that?” Dabi asked with his signature smirk. “You really want your group project partner to cockwarm you and fuck your tight little ass?”

“Fuck off,” Tomura scowled and smacked Dabi hard across the face with an errant pillow.

Dabi yanked it from his grasp and tossed his ammunition onto the floor. “Hey, it’s not actually too bad in here,” he wiggled his fingers for emphasis which elicited an embarrassingly high gasp from Tomura, “give ‘em my number if you need a reference for asshole tightness.”

“Get the fuck out of my ass and my room,” Tomura kicked at Dabi’s back as it shook with laughter that lacked it’s usual jeering bite.

“What? Saving the cuddles for your new S/O?” he shot back, nuzzling his cum and spit covered face into Tomura’s neck.

With their chests pressed together, Tomura could feel the cooling, sticky remnants of Dabi’s own release coating his stomach. He squirmed against the sensation and pushed at the offending chest until his friend flopped down onto the scant space left between the mattress and the wall.

“Ew,” Tomura ran a finger through the mess Dabi had left smeared on him. “I’m taking a fucking shower.”

“God, finally!” Dabi exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and producing a cigarette from god knows where. He let the paper rest between his lips unlit. “I should have thought about getting you fucked out on the reg earlier, creep, if it’ll stop you smelling like ass.”

Tomura launched the discarded pillow which hit it’s mark with a dull thump.

“You better be fucking gone when I get back,” he hissed and stumbled naked, on shaking legs into the hall and to their shared bathroom.

Dabi’s cackling followed him until the door shut and the lock clicked behind him.

Tomura turned the water on quickly, letting steam cloud the mirror before he jumped under the spray. The only products on the shelves were Dabi’s for the most part with the exception of a store brand bar of soap and some 3 in one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

Tomura knew he should clean himself more often, but his skin was so fucking raw all the time it hurt to do, so he mostly avoided it unless the smell got really unbearable—or Dabi was painting him in jizz whenever the opportunity presented itself.

He tried to get in and out as quickly as possible so he didn’t have the opportunity to think too hard about the admission his fuck buddy roommate had pulled from him mid blow job. Because if he did—in his post nut, clingy state—he’d most certainly imagine you were with him, tits pressed against his back and your soft, insistent tongue dipping past his lips, tasting like fruit gum and expensive cafe drinks instead of nicotine and cum.

And he really couldn’t handle that. Cause Dabi was right, he had something fucking bad for you and the thought of another rejection loomed large.

When he did towel himself off and shuffle, still naked back into his bedroom Dabi was nowhere to be seen. Tomura’s phone however, was left sitting right next to the jizz stain on his sheets. He frowned at the open balcony door where Dabi was no doubt smoking and snatched the device before tumbling onto the pillows.

He powered it on and scrolled through his notifs before one caught his eyes. You and Dabi were really the only people that ever texted him, but the contact name above this one had changed.

bitch (endearing)

— hey, starting an impromptu round of Smash soon if you’re interested <3

The stupid text heart made his chest throb and he stared at Dabi’s new nickname for you, not even noticing the fucking grin that tugged at his cheeks.

He bit his lip to stop the twitching when it pulled too hard at the chapped skin and scrambled for his clothes before shooting a quick confirmation text back. Tomura opted for his only pair of black jeans this time instead of sweats and the least stained sweatshirt he owned.

Dabi peaked around the corner when he heard the clink of Tomura’s keys. The bastard was smoking in just a pair of underwear that left half his ass on display for all the whole fucking street. He smirked, quirking his eyebrows and bringing his hands up to slip his index finger through the circle he made on the other hand in a silent, vulgar gesture.

“Screw off,” Tomura shouted over his shoulder and made for the door.

“Wrap it before you tap it, bro!” Dabi called after him, cut off by the subsequent slamming.

Tomura took the stairs two at a time, pulling out his phone and tucking the hood over his damp hair, this time to hide the growing smile playing at his lips.

[wellhellotragic]

These Wounds Won't Seem to Heal  3/4

Summary: It’s not her fault. She’s still new and doesn’t know. He’s not flawless. Not anymore. He’s got scars, ones she’s seen first hand. Ones she helped tend to. His body is covered in them. There’s a thin red line where he took a bottle to the face during his early beat cop days. There’s another angry red mark on his torso from where he was stabbed with a knife in his ribs. The one where he had his hand slammed in a locker as a teenager has long since faded, only the barest hint remaining, only visible in just the right lighting.

There’s two oval scars now too. One in his stomach and one on his chest. Those are from the worst day of her life.But none of those scars compare to the ones he carries on the inside. The self-inflicted cuts he makes to his soul never quite healing over. He blames himself.  It’s not his fault.

There’s a scar on her soul now too. One he left. A piece of her heart forever missing.

Rating: Mature (mostly for language)

A/N: Guy, I suck so hard core. I don't even know how I let so much time lapse between chapter 2 and now, and then to really top off my suck-o-meter, I realized that there's going to have to be a chapter 4 because I can't fix what I've done so easily. Not realistically at least. I promise, and happy ending is coming though, and it won't take me another 8 months to get it up. I hope to have it up and finished by the weekend.

The AO3 version

It’s been a hell of a night. She’s not sure where exactly it falls on her list of worst days ever, but it’s in her top five. It has to be. It’s not the worst, that honor is saved for the night she almost lost Killian, but it’s still up there. She’s spent hours now going through all of the details over and over again with Graham and Lance, her story never changing. Getting poked and prodded by EMTs, despite telling everyone that she’s fine.

She’s not, but they can’t stitch up her insides.

David, her partner, on the other hand has a bullet hole in his leg. Better than his head though.

She’s not even sure if she can fully reconcile everything that happened. She and David were investigating the death of a low profile importer, a nobody, interviewing some dock workers that had found the body. Some gruff looking men who easily blended in with the usual fishmongers and cargo sorters.

But they weren’t. She realized it just a second too late, right before a bag was pulled over her head. She fought like hell, but she was at a disadvantage. From what she heard, David had put up a fight as well, but in the end, it was useless, and she lost consciousness with a sharp blow to the head.

She woke up strapped down to a chair with David the same a few feet beside her. She shouldn’t have been surprised, Jefferson had always given her a bad feeling, but she never actually thought he’d go dirty. She certainly never expected to be facing the wrong side of his department issued sidearm.

Even now, everything is still a blur. Graham assured her it’s the shock, that it’ll fade once the adrenaline wears off; that everything will clear up after a good night's rest. She’s not sure about that though. It’s four in the morning now and the adrenaline seems to be hanging on for dear life still and she knows she's not going to rest any time soon. Humbert offered to drive her home but she declined, choosing to wait for August to finish wrapping up his report.

She’s not sure what time it is when they finally arrive at her apartment. The battery in her cell phone died ages ago. Neither of them even make a move for the fridge, choosing to bypass the beer she keeps stocked for the hard nights. Instead, the two of them move in silence to her room. She plugs in her cell before crawling in bed next to him, like when they were kids in Ingrid’s foster house. She’s not sure who’s comforting who at this point, but she knows that she just needs to be with family.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She doesn’t, but she knows she needs to or it’ll eat her alive. She’s tried that once already and it ended up with her almost having a complete nervous breakdown and a three week leave of absence with daily Archie sessions.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

It’s true. So much has happened in the last twelve hours, there’s no one easy to pinpoint place to begin. So August goes first. He fills in the blanks that he can, so that she might be able to piece together the rest. He tells her about Killian sending him undercover, about Jefferson and missing drugs and money. How Jefferson was helping to conceal evidence that would link Walsh and the Nikko empire to a wide distribution of pixie dust.

Some of it is just speculation, that Jefferson must have figured out they were closing in on him and that’s why he went for Emma, and David was probably just collateral damage. How he most likely picked Emma because he knew how much she meant to him , and while he didn’t say Killian’s name specifically, the implication hung over her like a heavy cloud.

“Before you got there, he told Killian to choose. Between me and David I mean. To pick which one of us would live and which one would die. And then he just started laughing and screaming in this crazed voice that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.”

It was the single most terrifying thing she’d ever heard. The mania that accompanied it. She already knew that it was going to haunt her for months to come, if not longer.

It’s a real Gracie’s choice. Gracie’s choice Killian. GRACIE’s CHOICE!!!

She felt August shift next to her.

“Gracie was his daughter. She died while he was undercover with a Southie Gang. Killian was undercover with Cruella at the time. It was a freak accident, a gas leak and the house went up in flames, but he was convinced that she was killed by one of the De Vil boys. He told me once that he knew Killian had given him up as a snitch to prove his worth. The De Vil’s had nothing to do with the Southie boys, but he’d twisted it up in his mind. I never thought he’d do anything about it though. It was just crazy drunk venting one night.”

She knows August. Knows that he’s blaming himself for what happened tonight, but she ignores it. Nothing she says will stop him from tormenting himself, and she’s not done.

“I told him to choose David. He has this whole perfect life, you know. An adoring wife and a new baby, all of these people that would miss him if he were gone. I told Killian to save David, and I-” She hates how small she feels when she cries, but she can’t hold back the tears. “He gave me this look. He’s been cold, but this was something different. There was just so much anger in his eyes.”

And that’s when she breaks. Knowing that hated her was one thing, but watching him train his gun on her. Seeing the pure darkness in his eyes. She doesn’t know how to voice it to August, but she knows that if August hadn’t arrived when he did, she knows he would have done as she asked. That he wouldn’t have had to think twice about it. And it’s that knowledge that sliced open the last piece of her heart that had been hanging on by a thread, even after all that time.

August holds her through the tears, until she finally exhausts herself enough to sleep. And so she drifts off, completely unaware of the new voicemail alert waiting for her.

________________________________

The February air is cooler on the water and he kicks himself for not bringing a heavier jacket. It’s been ages since he’s been out on this boat, and time has helped him to forget everything except for the things he wishes he could. Liam always used to tease him, so much so that Killian would reject any offers of warmth from his brother just to prove a point. He wasn’t some silly kid that needed to be minded anymore. He was capable of doing everything on his own, except for bringing an extra coat. He forgot everytime, and today was no exception.

Luckily for Killian, the spare that Liam kept on the boat just for him is still in its place, folded neatly in a small storage locker below deck. It hits him in the gut a little, that Liam could be so right about some things and incredibly wrong about others.

It’s eating Killian alive, not talking to his brother. Not being able to express himself because despite everything Emma has done for him, Liam still doesn’t approve of her. Liam often still thinks of him as the teenage boy, awkward and desperate for approval from anyone that will give it to him, even if it means getting taken advantage of.

He’s not that kid anymore though. He isn’t letting his crush steal his essays and letting her claim this as her own. He isn’t using all of his hard earned money to buy her jewelry that she’s just going to pawn for cash later. He isn’t following after Emma like a lost puppy dog.

He’s in love with her, and he has a sneaking suspicion that she feels the same way. But at this rate, he’s never going to get Liam’s blessing, the only approval he needs anymore.

He shouldn’t be thinking about this now. He really shouldn’t. Not when he and Liam are sitting in a rented dilapidated loft across from an abandoned fabric warehouse waiting for the Canal Street Cutter to emerge. There had been a lot of chatter that morning about where he might be hiding and Liam assembled teams throughout South Boston hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

Emma and August were stationed about eight blocks over. Lance and Arthur were on the edge of South Boston and Waterfront. Other teams were scattered, but too far away to get to if they needed assistance.

Killian had tried to tell Liam that it was a bad idea to spread everyone so thin, but the elder Jones brother had been instant and headstrong as ever. It would have been a career making arrest, and Liam, ever aspiring to be more just wouldn’t let that chance pass him by.

“I just think that you have other obligations that require your attention right now.”

“If this is the bros before hoes speech you can just save it.”

“Killian,” The exasperation evident in his brother's tone, “you know I detest such vile language. It's crude and you are better than that little brother.”

“What obligations?” He has to quash his desire to correct his brother’s description of him.

“I just think that you are meant for so much more in this life and I worry that you gave up so much when you left the narcotics division to follow her into homicide. You were a rising star there and now you’re having to cut your teeth all over again.”

“It’s not as if I’m starting all over. For God’s sake Liam, I just made Lieutenant. But there’s more to life than a job.”

His brother takes his gaze away from the binoculars to turn to Killian.

“Look at father and all of his vices. It strayed him from the path. But you, Killian, you persevered and now everything you've wanted is in your grasp.”

“This isn't the same thing and you know it. Emma isn't some pathetic man’s addiction. Liam, I'm in love with her.”

“Killian,” Liam pauses, taking a deep breath. “She's a distraction. Think of all that you’ve accomplished in the year that you were undercover. You brought down an entire crime syndicate. You did that without her taking your attention away.”

“I didn't bring the De Vil family down because ‘we’ were apart. I did it because we were ‘apart’ and I knew the only way I'd be able to see her again without putting her in harm's way would be to find the evidence and make the arrest.”

“Fine, if you need another reason, have you thought about working directly with her, or even over her in a supervisory position? Have you considered how your personal relationship with a subordinate could affect your judgment?”

“It’s not-”

Liams sees movement in the distance, cutting off Killian’s rebuttal, but his view is obscured so he motions for Killian to follow him, to leave the safety of their little room. They stay silent as they walk downstairs and head out a propped-open door leading to an alleyway. They had to wind through hallways to get from the loft outside and now they’re further away from the warehouse with no cover.

Killian even tries pointing out how visible they are, but Liam shuts him down, determined to close the case. He’s halfway sure that Liam’s trying to prove a point about how Killian can’t be successful and be in a relationship with Emma. He’s seen it before, the way professional jealousy destroys couples. But Emma’s not like that. She wouldn’t see his success as her failure.

They try to skirt the perimeter and he knows he should keep his mouth shut, this just isn’t the time, but he’s just so frustrated that he can’t keep holding it in.

“Please don’t make me choose between you.” It’s an angry whisper, more to himself than anything, and even though he did his best to keep his volume low it’s still enough that Liam’s heard and turns back to him, missing sight of the empty beer bottle at his feet.

The glass battering against the gravel echoes through the night as they both stay silent, waiting to see if they’ve been heard. The air is still around them, and Killian thinks they just might have lucked out.

And then he hears the gunshots ring out.

Liam is on the ground before Killian has time to register what’s happened. He runs to Liam, but gets knocked to the ground before he can get to him. His body hurts and he can see blood covering his hand from where he just touched his abdomen. He’s always heard people say that the shock blocks out the pain, but they must all be liars, because the longer he lays there, the more the pain intensifies.

It takes everything he has to pull himself behind a dumpster, half crawling, half slithering like a snake.

The shock eventually did kick in though, because even to this day he has no memory of radioing in for help. Just the vague memories of Emma leaning over him. The look in her eyes as she tried her best to hold back tears.

The same tears he fought back the night he left Boston, like the coward he was. But Archie was right. He needed to get his head on straight, to distance and center himself. He had to leave, for her.

He’s still wrestling with the guilt. He talked about it with Archie, how she begged him to kill her and save David. And that he actually considered it for about two full seconds. Not because he wanted to, but because he didn’t want her feeling the way he did. The burden of knowing that someone else was dead, and knowing that no matter how good you are, how hard you try, that you’ll never live up to them. He didn’t want her hating herself the way he did. Didn’t want her to destroy herself like he had.

But then something snapped inside of him and rage bubbled up. The audacity of her to beg him to kill her. For her to try and force that decision on him, with no regard to him or his feelings.

It was at that moment that he finally realized what he’d been doing to her ever since Liam had passed away. He finally understood the choice she’d been forced to make that night. And he knew - he knew that despite it all - he could never live with himself if he’d chosen anyone but her. That he couldn’t let her go just like she didn’t with him.

The only thing that saved him was Boothe. In the moments that passed after August arrived, while the two of them tried to wrestle the gun away from Jefferson, he felt the weight of Liam’s death wash over him. And then he heard a shot ring out and there was nothing but panic. Panic and guilt.

It felt as though ages had passed as he searched for Emma in the smoke filled room. The SWAT team had moved in at some point, but he’d been too focused on fighting off Jefferson to notice. He pushed through the sting in his eyes and the tightness of his chest as he looked for her, but all he saw through the haze were armored cops everywhere.

It wasn’t until he was forcibly escorted outside the building that he saw her, saw that she was safe, and then his stomach turned. He ran around a corner away from all of the prying eyes, and for the first time in his career, he gave in and let the night overcome him.

It’s been nearly a year since that night and he’s been running ever since. Some days are better than others. The anger is mostly behind him, but some nights he still wakes up in a sweat clutching his bed sheets, ready to fight. But there’s never anyone around to take a swing at, because he’s all alone. He’s pushed away anyone that ever mattered and isolated himself on that damn boat.

He thinks of Emma, wonders if she’s moved on or not. He’s too cowardly to call her, partly because he has no idea what he will say if she answers, but mostly because he’s terrified that she won’t answer. So he broods. He takes to the local bars as he sails the coastline and drinks a little too much before stumbling back to Liam’s boat alone. It’s a wonder nobody’s robbed him yet for what a careless sot he’s been.

Tonight is one of those nights. He’s made his way down to Florida and back, only a few hours away from Boston, and his demons are screaming again. He’s hoping against all hope that the rum in the tumbler across from him will help quiet them. Just holding the small glass in his fingertips helps a bit. A placebo of sorts. He doesn’t want to be this man anymore though. This pathetic lonely human. He doesn’t want to feel this way anymore, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. Archie said that him realizing it was a good first step but he’s not sure if he agrees. He’s called Archie a lot over the last year. Somehow doing therapy over the phone as the boat sways back and forth under his feet has helped to ease his hesitancy. There’s something about knowing that he can hang up at any time if he wants, and that no one knows. No one will judge him.

They don’t talk about Emma, not in present tense at least. They’ve had conversations about the way he’s treated her in the past, about his complicated feelings for her, the way it’s all shaped him, but they never talk about her now. He’s not sure if it’s because Archie doesn’t know if he’s ready for that, or if Archie knows something that he’s absolutely not ready for.

Archie is here tonight though, the rum is.

He’s still twirling the amber in his hand as he hears the familiar scraping of a nearby barstool against a wooden floor. There’s a scent that follows, a floral perfume that doesn’t match with the musk of the dive bar. He doesn’t look at her directly, doesn’t need to when he can see her from the mirror behind the bar. Her top is low, flashing more skin that it’s covering. She’s closer than he thought.

“Is that for me?” She’s bold.

He’s reminded of those early days on the force, when he wouldn’t even have to talk to a woman. When he could just flash her a smile and she’d be on his arm heading out the door to her place. He’s not that guy though, he’s salty and cynical, and the look he flashes her is closer to a smirk.

“Excuse me?” “Well, you’ve been toying with it for almost twenty minutes. I just thought maybe you were waiting for me to walk into your life.”

Was he this bad at picking up women?

“Look, I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m not in the mood for woman.” “So you’re gay?”

It’s a good thing he hasn’t started drinking yet because he damn well might have chocked otherwise. He doesn’t get a chance to respond though. The bubbly blonde that served him his rum has returned with a spray bottle in hand. “Mary of Mothers. Didn’t I already have you escorted out of here tonight, Teresa?”

“Bite me, Tinkerbelle.”

The girl behind the bar might be all of five foot tall but there’s a beast inside her that towers over any man in that bar and before he knows what’s happening the bartender is drowning the girl in what smells like stainless steel cleaner and the words coming out of her mouth would make any Navy man blush.

The girl ends up running away and Killian isn’t sure what to make of any of it. He’s broken up bar fights before, but he’s never seen anything quite like that.

“Sorry about that. I know this little bar might not seem like much, but it’s all I’ve got and I’ll be damned if I let the likes of her selling her body in here.” “Oh, she wasn’t-” “Trust me, where you had agreed upfront or not, you would have been light whatever cash you have left in that wallet before the night was up. And I’ll bet you dollars to pennies you would have had a lovely little itch or two down there.” She nods her head towards his crotch before switching the subject like she hadn’t just implied the poor woman from before was an STD ridden whore. “So, I haven’t seen you here before. Where you from?”

He’s not sure how she’s disarmed him so quickly, but he finds himself telling her all about himself over the next hour. Business has slowed down and her other barmate seems to be more than capable of handling the few strays still walking in.

She makes him laugh too with her feisty spirit. It’s been far too long since he’s felt at ease like this. They talk and talk. Not about much in particular, just random conversation. She bought the bar about six years ago, and tells him about how it’s let her build the family she always wanted and never really got. She’s carved out her own little place in the world and he envies her that. The way she can just lay her whole life bare to a complete stranger while he can’t even talk to the people that know him best.

The night rolls on and it’s time to close up. He half expects that she’s going to invite him upstairs, to the little apartment she mentioned earlier, but she surprises him. She’s done that a few times tonight, but this one hits him in the gut. “So, what’s her name?”

This time he actually does chock on the water she’s poured for him.” “I’m sorry, what?”

“Killian, in the last few hours, you’ve told me your entire life story, everything from your shitty father to your arrogant brother, your job, your leave of absence, but you haven’t mentioned a girl one single time. You’re holding back, which means there’s something to hold back.”

“You don’t know that. I could be gay.” “Um, ya, I saw you check out Teresa’s rack earlier, definitely not gay. So what’s the deal.” He doesn’t want to talk about it, but he doesn’t want to be rude either. So he gives her as little as possible, but she sees through him. In fact, she actually asks him what the hell he’s waiting for as she pushes him out the door.

He doesn’t really know what he’s waiting for to be honest. He’s wanted to go back to Boston, but there’s just so many threads he left unravelled when he left.

[histrionic-dragon]

A little unusual: An MCU AU idea/partial fic outline

This floated into my head as I floated awake this morning.  My subconscious apparently put together the basic idea of this thread (Tony doesn’t know, but he has super-soldier serum because of Howard’s experiments on himself) with all the fanfics about “Hydra used Bucky and/or Steve’s DNA to try to make another supersoldier” and came up with a rich angst-mine.

Say that one of these Hydra experiments succeeded in the early seventies--succeeded, that is, in that the subject was viable. They have no idea if the super-soldier serum traits have been passed on. The only place with the equipment required to test that is a SHIELD lab, so a few well-placed Hydra minions sneak the two-day-old baby in for testing. But babies cry, and the boss has a habit of wandering around the facilities, especially the labs, when he can’t sleep.

Howard and Maria Stark can’t have children. But when Howard happens upon a baby apparently abandoned in a SHIELD lab, well, that’s concerning for a number of reasons. (The SHIELD agents closest to the lab swear they heard the crying and were coming to check it out, and they think they saw someone run away that way, Director, but they couldn’t give chase because they wanted to make sure the baby was alright.... and as they say this, they kick the super-soldier-serum detection test kit under a nearby desk. Maybe we should heighten the security around the labs, Director Stark.)  But when no one claims the kid, it kind of feels like fate, too. I mean, a child discovered in a lab? There’s really no one better to pass on a legacy of creation and defense to, is there?

They never tell the kid he’s adopted--apparently until the last few decades, that was the norm--and they don’t tell many other people, either, just some close friends, who they ask not to tell the boy either. (Obadiah Stane is surprised at first, and worried about Howard being distracted by a child, but Howard laughs and tells him that will never happen, and if the kid somehow isn’t interested in science, well, maybe he’ll just dump the company on Obie instead! Stane laughs and drinks to that, and it’s forgotten.) Howard and Maria both travel a lot, and everyone just assumes that they were somewhere else during the pregnancy. The child has dark hair and he’s scary smart and he picks up Howard’s mannerisms like the little sponge he is, and it never crosses anyone’s minds that he’s not their biological son.

They wanted him, and they were happy to have him, but even that doesn’t stop Howard from getting sucked up into his work. Despite what he said to Obie, Howard never truly believed his little laboratory foundling wouldn’t be interested in science. If anything, it might even make him more desperate to have the child be the person he can pass on his legacy to. They wanted him, but it doesn’t stop the friction. It doesn’t stop them from arguing.

It’s a little unusual, as he gets older, how he can pull so many all-nighters, handle heavy sheets of metal alone, and has reflexes good enough to escape the worst lab accidents even when he’s tired or drunk or hungover, but that’s genius for you--genius or a skewed but intense work ethic. Probably both. You’d need both for that, right? The endless buckets of money and privilege can’t hurt his ability to get away with things, either. He even keeps functioning longer than you’d expect when he forgets to eat. He’s just...he’s tough, and dedicated, but that’s not so unusual, right?

“The serum amplifies what is already there.” What does that mean if it’s passed along genetically? What’s already there in a newborn? Well: potential. Babies want to grow, and learn, and do. They want to live and create and be loved. Turn that up to 11 and you have someone larger-than-life, a brilliant, grandstanding, partying, hard-working inventor/CEO.

No one thinks of that as superhuman, just a little extra.

And so it’s a little unusual when he stays alive long enough for Yinsen’s jury-rigged car-battery medical device to stop the shrapnel from reaching his heart. It’s a little impressive that he can get up and stagger to the lab after Stane paralyzes him, instead of lying helpless on the couch, frozen, until he dies. Maybe he lives with palladium poisoning for several months without anyone but him noticing the effects because the effects aren’t as bad as they would be for someone else, at first. Whether he’s resistant to Loki’s mind control because of some mysterious boost to his own psychic resistance or because the scepter needs skin contact, not reactor contact, is unclear.

He’s Tony Stark. He’s Iron Man. No one notices if he’s a little unusual because he’s always at some far end of the bell curve.

And then there’s the Hydra data drop, and Steve Rogers with a crazy story, asking him if he can find anything in the data drop, anything to supplement the files Natasha got from Russia. So he looks. The Hydra database doesn’t have much information on the Winter Soldier (they must have kept most of that offline, or there would be no canonical shocking revelation from Zemo; it would have been out there already). But there are a few mentions of a “Project Snowfall” that he digs into because of the loose similarity in theme, just to be thorough. He thinks it’s related from a few redacted lines, and that makes it all the more interesting, because the project was apparently successful, but mysteriously abandoned.

Tony looks at the files. It’s weird biological stuff, mainly, and he’s not a biologist and he’s just skimming, but there’s a date near the end with “viable” and then a date just days later with “confiscated before testing,” which isn’t a term he’s seen before in these files. Not “terminated,” not “tests negative,” but “confiscated,” accompanied by a note on trying again when more secure facilities can be found for the testing process. Then a note on holding off on that because “distant observation of subject” reveals nothing special.

Maybe he wouldn’t think much of it, except for when those final dates are.

And then he thinks of something Obadiah Stane said when he took the reactor out of Tony’s chest.   ....But no. No, that’s crazy.

Tony looks at the files.

Tony looks in the mirror.

Tony, for the first time, looks at his own social security card and birth certificate, and then at the other--ever-so-slightly questionable--documentation around the beginning of his life.

Tony, feeling embarrassed and irritated and--always--curious, asks JARVIS to muck around with Photoshop and face recognition software and pictures of Tony, Howard, and Bucky Barnes.

Tony talks to Pepper.

...I’m not sure what happens next, and how it affects Civil War, because it depends on when Tony and Steve talk about what, and when Tony gets his hands on a DNA sample and shoves two random samples at Bruce and says “just run it. Please,” and refuses to say what’s going on.  (Or whether Bruce is around for him to do so--stupid Age of Ultron taking away Tony’s science bro.) And there are a million ways Bucky could react to finding out, too. I may write one or more ways it could go in this same sketch/outline way later. For now I just have the basic premise.

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Avengers Infinity War-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 2)

Part 1

I wonder how many people Gamora has killed? What made her finally snap to not serve Thanos anymore?

How DID Gamora find it? Like, who told her?

How did Thanos capture nebula?

Poor nebula. She’s literally been through hell and back.

Ohhhh she snuck on board...

Thanos you suck so much. You favor one daughter over another.

Oh. Where was said map to the soul stone?

Gosh I feel so damn bad for nebula. She was raised as his daughter too but he tortured her and tore her apart. Nebula never had the chance to be her equal. She deserves so much.

Taught groot as an elective? What about all speak?

Buckle up rocket. It’s gonna get emotional.

Thor is literally all alone. He needs a time to sit alone and cry and break a whole building.

Rocket and Thor friends? Please

1500 years old? Jane, honey, you escaped.

Gotta give it up to Hemsworth’s acting chops here. Especially talking to nobody in reality. Just a bunch of cgi

Ew ew ew eye socket

Should have washed that yikes

Snuck it out by hiding it up your? Huh? You watch too many movies rocket.

Huge title card. Thank you. I wouldn’t have known where we were despite them saying their location many times.

How is that video game battery not dead?

Perceptive rabbit

I LOVE that they used a dwarf to play a giant character!!! This is brilliant! (And that dwarves are giant for some reason lol.)

Soooo again Thanos killed everyone EXCEPT Eitri despite his “morality” supposedly being balance

Poor hands

Poor nebula

Smart nebula

Maybe should have waited to be fixed fully first

Ah crap. SOMEONE PICK UP THE SPACE PHONE

MANTIS

Love how Stark asks for peters help in steering and not Stephen lmao

Nice parking job

Peter, stop popping pop culture refs

Lmao ITS ABOUT TO BE THE ICONIC SCENE

YES PLEASE

Blanket of Death. Capey has a new nickname.

Where’s Gamora

Who’s Gamora

Why is Gamora

What master do you serve?

Jesus?

I mean, yea I do. So does Pratt lmaoo.

LMAO PARKER’S FACE WHEN QUILL SAID THOR WASNT HANDSOME

Storm breaker time baby

“In theory it could summon the bifrost” who theorized this? How do you only theorize and not know?

Oh my gosh mantis is just bouncing around

Mr. Clean lmao

Kick names, take ass

Hey now, these guys saved the galaxy and universe from Ego so lmao

Oh no I know the scene coming up

Poor quill lmao

“I’m half human. So the 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% of you.” “Your math is, blowing my mind.” What’s funny is that Quill’s math was actually completely accurate lol

Stephen having a stroke or a seizure? You good homie?

Soooo if Strange looked to the future and so possible outcomes, what does that mean for the TVA? According to them, there’s ONE sacred timeline, so all other branches are erased (which again messes up what smart hulk eventually says in end game. See kids, this is why you don’t mess with time travel in stories. There’s no way to go back in time without creating a time loop). Ehhhhh I’ll let it slide. Just ignore it... sigh... I can’t help it if I’ve studied paradoxes

Hmmmm not good odds I’ve gotta say...

Watch like, outside of the millions of realities that strange saw, there were like a million or billion more he missed where they won with no casualties lol

Hey Red Skull. Long time no see. How did he get here anyways and why?

Yea you’re prepared all right...

Gotta say, Lord Elrond has seen better days

I’m not ready to say good bye to this Gamora. Gamora and Loki and Nat go down as my favorite characters, gotta say. I know that Tony does and it’s sad, but his feels more satisfying because his sacrifice directly results in them winning. Loki is murdered. Gamora is murdered. Nat died just for a stepping stone for the avengers. She has no idea whether or not they will actually win in the end.

I’m hopeful they may bring Nat back like in the comics, red room clone style.

We got back vision, Loki (kinda), variant Gamora, a new captain America, why not Nat? Yea we have a prequel, but gosh I love her so much.

“You must lose that which you love.” Couldn’t that apply to like an object or something? Could I not throw my Nintendo switch over the cliff? Or my dog? (I would hate that just as much as a person, don’t get me wrong, I’m just curious about the rules)

Yea boohoo sad for Thanos... loses his favorite daughter. I don’t care about him. He deserves suffering.

Poor Gamora doesn’t think he’s willing to do it.. GIRL RUN!!!

Thanos deserves all the suffering.

He does love you Gamora... but that love... it’s selfish. It’s blind... Thanos seems to be a chaotic vigilante who is narrowminded, tunnel vision on his goal with no regards of the cost. But he is evil. If there is ever an alternate route to an end that doesn’t result in the loss of innocent lives, and you know that but you willingly choose the once that costs innocent lives, that is an evil decision. Maybe Thanos isn’t evil, but he’s not good. Far from it. He’s obsessed with this idyllic Utopia but he rushes to one method of getting there. Yes, people suffer. It sucks... it’s unfair... it’s horrible. But it is never the right of someone else to dictate whether or not said person would be better off dead. Who lives, who dies. If Thanos truly was neutral and not selfish, he would have thrown his own life into the mix of the potential 50/50 snap. Thanos is not good. He’s not misunderstood. He’s a murderer. A genocidal cult leader. I have no tears for him. Only for those who suffered more at his hands.

Rant over, time to try not to cry about Gamora...

Her face of realization

Gamora run please

Thanos, I hate you. (Great character her, but not a good person)

Poor Gamora

Oh my gosh the emotion here is great but I’ve heard this sound used as a meme on TikTok too many times aghhhh

Gamora!

What a way to die

I’m crying again. I miss her already...

Who the hell designed this place and put the stone here???? Who did this?

Cry Thanos. Suffer. My only comfort here is that you are sad. You deserve suffering. You really do...

The TVA is laughing here and I’m not okay..

Poor Peter Quill... he’s also lost a lot like Thor, but has had the “luck” of not knowing his family too close.

Wakanda babyyyy

No, you don’t want Starbucks, you want Dutch bros

Lmao I love rhodey. Poor Bruce.

BUCKY BUCKY BUCKY

HUG

NO CMON HAVE A LONG HUG

MALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT.

Yea Shuri show em up.

Okay quick pause, I love love LOVE how Shuri is smarter. It’s a powerful moment for females BUT it’s not done in a way that’s condescending to males! It’s not saying women power because men bad, she’s just good! (And she has had access to technology they never could have but I digress). More of this please Hollywood. Don’t let being a female be the power. I don’t want strong female characters, I want strong characters who happen to be female. Ones who hold their own, have faults like anyone else, struggle, have weaknesses and strengths, but are strong without putting down others. Just a comment, just because a woman character may not be as strong as a man character, that is not saying she’s weak. If you’re the second strongest human in the world, you are NOT weak. You’re just not as strong as the strongest human ever, but that’s nothing against you. LET WOMEN STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS WITHOUT SEX AFFECTING THEM!

Anyways

I love Shuri

I wish they had more time. She definitely could have done it. But stupid Thanos

Ughhhghhg

I know what many scenes are upcoming... with quill and peter and vision and everyone else

Let👏🏻Bucky👏🏻Have👏🏻Peace👏🏻

Thank you Nat!!! I love that Nat is so protective and selfless.

GET THIS MAN A SHIELD

Bucky needs love please. He’s my stand in, manipulated, greasy, long haired, dark and mysterious, stabby boy. (Also I need Bucky and Loki to meet. But let Loki finish his show (and come out of it alive because if he doesn’t I will sue) and be the antihero hero we need. Please. If he doesn’t get reintroduced into the mcu as a hero I will sue.

Thor, sweetie, are you a masochist?

Back to wakanda

Oh no, bad CGI, floating head Bruce banner. I’ll let it slide... sigh....

Can’t like, you just rain bombs on them forever?

JIBARI TRIBE YEA BOYYYYY

Sorry Proxima Midnight, you look like a frog and your name sounds like a middle schooler’s OC.

How nice. Diplomatic meeting.

“Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.” Reeeeeeally wish you didn’t say that, T’Challa...

Yay big CGI battle commence! It’s like a really expensive animated cartoon at this point

WAKANDA FOREVER!

Poor Bucky. Forgot this dude doesn’t know much about the modern world.

Ahhhh Kamikazi aliens

I just wanna say that I love that Wakanda still has the artistic culture in their clothing and tradition all the while having badass, super advanced technology.

Why can’t they just rain bombs down the whole fight lol. Rhodey has those super nice bombs, like, do that they he whole time? Please? Why do you not have a barrier around the entire king.

No M’Baku, it’s not the end of wakanda. But half of all life, yea

WAKANDA FOREVER YEAAAAAAA

They should honesty all have nano tech suits like black panther lol. Or iron man suits. Fine maybe the most powerful one with the best quality material for the king, but besides that, yknow.

Wow Steve is hot with a beard.

So much happening at once. Thor, Wakanda, Vormir, Knowhere, am I missing anything?

Okay, but what IS the full force of a star? Like in Newton’s or something? Juls? Is it heat?

What’s this metal? How does it fare with vibranium?

Get off your wooden butt, groot.

“He needs the axe” are you Thor, the god of axes?

Soooo, I thought Thor didn’t NEED the hammer, it just helped him concentrate his powers or act as a conduit. Is that retconned already?

Cmon groot, put down your game. Soooo, is Groot worthy? He technically lifted it. Or is it a technicality because it wasn’t fully finished yet?

Cmon bucky, use that fancy arm of yours.

Wow they’re getting destroyed.

They need wanda to help.

BADASS ENTRANCE BABYYYY

How did Thor know to come to wakanda?

Floaty head Bruce

“BRING ME THANOS!”

Ahhhhhahahaha yeaaaaaa

Cry Thanos. Do it. I hate you.

Much more of a purple grape nutsack.

Oh gosh... I know what Peter Quill is going to do. I still don’t hate him.

“With all six stone I would simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist.” Orrrr, now hear me out, I know I sound like a broken record now but... MAYBE DOUBLE THE RESOURCES INSTEAD?? That’s not mercy. That’s not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s better off dead.

Smoosh

Yea quill has experience with the power stone

AIM FOR THE HEAD

Cmon it’s basic zombie tactics

I love peter quill lmao

Go capey!!!

Magic with a kick!

Poor Peter

CAPEY NOOOOOO

Wow he’s OP

Ouch quill just got majorly clotheslined

NEBULA

“Where’s Gamora?” 😭😭😭 SHE CARES AGHHHH

Restrain him! Work it mantis!!!

Why even remove the gauntlet, just slit his throat... kill him....

Quill no... stop being cocky...

Oh no

Quill please don’t

JUST SLIT THANOS’ THROAT

Quill please....

Poor quill. Just lost the person who really really loved him

Okay, I still love star lord. Idc what others think. He reacted realistically. If you hate peter quill for how he reacted, you better also hate Tony Stark for how he reacted to bucky when he learned bucky killed his parents despite knowing for a fact that bucky was brainwashed. Yes it was annoying... yes they were so close, but quill is so human here. I don’t hate him. He gets too much hate for acting like any normal person would have. Distraught, grief filled, he lost his love. Someone who helped him open up and finally move on from his mother’s death and fathers villainy.

Spider man saving mantis gives me life

How did that power stone blast not kill them?

Clearly Thanos has played Majora’s Mask. At least he has good taste.

So close vision.... but I know... I know what happens.

YES BUCKY AND ROCKET GUN CIRCLE.

Lmao give rocket Bucky’s old arm.

“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Comedy gold

Cmon Thor, go after the big one first.

Cmon wanda, save them. We need some scarlet witch magic up here to stop these

Okay that was so cool. AND THEN SHE USED THE BLADES

Oh no but now Shuri is alone

So close yet so far.... Dangit... vision was almost good

Ouch. Bonk to the head

YEA BLACK WIDOW

BADASS TIME

AND OKOYE!!

LETS GOOOOOOO

BADASS WOMEN

Ouch poor vision

Cmon Thor back up vision

Please

Hulk is in his feels

Cmon hulk grow up

Ooooh smart move banner

Aaaaand he’s gone

Giant blade look oit

Corvus, screw off.

YEA STEVE

WHERE IS THOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM

CMON NAT

Oh dang. Nice one wanda. But also, sheesh. Helluva way to go. But no big.

Yea vision. Stabby time.

Now vision and Steve, kiss.

Spider man saving everyone’s lives.

YEA STRANGE

Where was this in New York???

MULTIPLYING

WHY DIDNT YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE????

Oh no

Well then... ouch. Soooo where’s the real stone???

Hey look Tony, you have a fan.

Okay I’m just pissed odd they didn’t just kill Thanos when they had him subdued. Like, worry about the glove AFTER he’s not longer a threat

Oof

Tony is taking a beating

HE WAS STABBED

WHAT

I don’t want your respect Thanos. That’s an insult.

They will remember him. They will remember him Thanos. When he kills you.

DOCTOR STRANGE WHAT?

You really doing this??? I guess he knows what needs to unfold for them to win... dang. I wouldn’t trust him tho.

Peter Quill in berserker mode

Where’d he go?

Name dropping the second movie

Strange knows everything about to go down. Who dies, who lives, what Thanos is about to do... he’s accepting his soon dusted demise because Stark needs to live...

AIM FOR THE HEAD UGHHHHH

Stop teleporting. That’s Loki’s gimmick.

KILL THIS RAISIN LOOKING NUTSACK UGH

Homie way too OP

Poor wanda and Vis...

HER LIP TREMBLE

PHENOMENAL ACTING

SAY I LOVE YOU

I JUST FEEL YOU

AGGHHHH IM CRYING AGAIN

Poor wanda. To have to kill her love... this.. this is a sacrifice Thanos... not your murder....

Wow Steve is holding back Thanos with pure brute

WANDA IS SO STRONG

HOLDING BACK THANOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAKING THE MIND STONE

I LOVE YOU

AGHHHHHHHHH

And I know what happens next...

Poor wanda

Piss off thanos you understand nothing

You lost more than she could know? Bull crap. You are causing everyone to lose...

Cruel reality. Wanda has to see him die twice. RIP Vision

RIP half of all life...

AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD

IF THOR KILLED HIM THEY COULD HAVE USED THE GAUNTLET TO BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE. USED THE TIME STONE TO REVIVE THEM ALL.

How did that not kill Thanos tho. It may not have been a head shot but still.

Lil Gamora

What is this place?

Is this the soul realm?

Thanos, I hope you suffer forever. You deserve all the pain...

Rest In Peace: Vision, Loki, Bucky, T’Challa, Groot, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker (I don’t feel so good), and everyone else...

Thank you Nebula.

Thanos, you do NOT deserve to retire peacefully—wipe that smile off of your face

Oop, Rest In Peace Maria Hill and Nick Fury too... Motherfu— (so close Sammy boy...)

Yea Thanos you didn’t really think that through. Much more than half will died since other people rely on other peoples lives

Good thing he hit that button last minute huh? I wonder how captain marvel would fare in the TVA? are her powers considered magic? I mean, she clearly doesn’t know everything since she only just learned about Thanos (which is funny because she was supposedly traversing the universe to protect people)

Welp... onto movie two!

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB September Flash, Week 4 Roundup!

AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE, FOLKS!  At least, until our next round starts in a couple weeks...

For our participants, remember to go claim your badges!

If you wanna be a participant in Round Four and you’re not yet, go sign up!

And for all of you... make sure you leave the creators below some love!

Title: Her Epilogue Collaborator: Fighting_for_Creativity Link: AO3 Square Filled: 023 - Epilogue Ship: Peggy/Daniel Rating: Teen Major Tags: Tony remembers, Daniel needs a Hug, Peggy needs a hug, everyone gets a hug, Angst with Happy Ending, AI Peggy, Canonical Character Death Summary: On the day of Peggy Carter's funeral, Tony remembers snippets of his childhood with her and Daniel Sousa. Word Count: 2196

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Title: Harley Keener (and a very not-to-scale Potato Gun Mark I) Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 022 - Harley Keener Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: crafts, Iron Man 3 Summary: Felt figure of Harley Keener and his potato gun from Iron Man 3.

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Title: Are we There Yet? Collaborator: tisfan Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 024 - Bleeding Edge Ship: Tony/Logan Rating: Teen Major Tags: Kidnapping, Roughed Up Summary: Tony gets kidnapped. Again. You’d really think bad guys would learn better. Word Count: 598

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Title: Fated to Telling Only Lies Collaborator: Politzania Link: AO3 Square Filled: 023 - Epilogue Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Canonical Character Deaths, canon divergence, Winter Soldier POV Summary: After his mission to eliminate the elder Stark, the Soldier is assigned to befriend the Stark heir and win him over to the cause. But there’s something about Tony Stark that just might loosen the Fist of Hydra’s grip on his goal. Word Count: 1413

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Title: Smells Like Teenage Drama Collaborator: MagicaDraconia16 Link: AO3 Square Filled: 027 - Peter Parker Ship: Tony/Rhodey/Loki/Rhodey/Strange & Peter Rating: Teen Major Tags: Teenage drama, Peter Parker is scarred for life, implied/referenced 5-way poly (as above), way too many father figures Summary: When you're a teenage superhero, it's bad enough to have one father figure, never mind two or three. Let alone five. Peter Parker would like to reiterate: he is not a child! Word Count: 2638

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Title: F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’m in Love Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 023 - FRIDAY Ship: Tony & FRIDAY Rating: Gen Major Tags: music, art Summary: Tony sing as he works, and FRIDAY is just as sassy as her brother was.

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Title: An Arctic Adventure Collaborator: lemon_juices Link: AO3 Square Filled: 027 - Sight Ship: pre-Stony Rating: Gen Major Tags: merpeople AU, ocean sex Summary: Featuring Steve Rogers, a marine biologist in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. Also featuring Tony Stark, a merman who lives in the Arctic Ocean. When Steve first sets his eyes on Tony he can't stop thinking about him, and Tony can't forget about Steve. Another trip to the frigid cold ocean and let's see what happens... Word Count: 2572

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Title: Centrifugal Force Collaborator: tisfan Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 024 - Taste Ship: Teen Rating: WinterIron Major Tags: temporary amnesia, not single crying meme, alcoholism, bad coping mechanisms, playground Summary: “That sounds like one of my very bad, no good ideas,” Tony confessed.  “Usually,” the man said. Word Count: 588

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Title: It’s Only a Paper Moon - Chapter 3 Collaborator: sierranovembr Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 025 - Sound Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Depiction of a mental asylum, established relationship, Edwin Jarvis Summary: Fighting aliens alongside Captain America? A loving, supportive fiancé who overlooks the many flaws of Tony Stark? Tony often thought his life was too amazing to be real.  He might be right about that. Word Count: 1370

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Title: New Family Members Collaborator: fightingforcreativity Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 023 - FRIDAY Ship: Tony with whoever you choose Rating: Teen Major Tags: Cute, Bots, Bot Family, Tony’s army of bots Summary: Tony really shouldn’t tinker after watching a movie and running on little to no sleep. Albeit… Maybe he should do it more often. Word Count: 735

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Title: What’s in a Name? Collaborator: Politzania Link: AO3 Square Filled: 023 - FRIDAY Ship: Tony & FRIDAY Rating: Gen Major Tags: Drabble, slice of life Summary: Tony explains to his latest creation where her name came from. Word Count: 100

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Title: True Colours Collaborator: lbibliophile-mcu Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 022 - Thoughts Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: motivational poster Summary: Hold your head high, wear your colours, proud. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd.

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Title: all those shadows (almost killed your light) Collaborator: dixiehellcat Link: AO3 Squares Filled: 026 - Chapter 1, Infinity Gauntlet; chapter 2, Morgan Stark; chapter 3, smell; chapter 4, alternative POV; chapter 5, PTSD Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie).  Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Stark Lives, the Russos whomst, idk them, back on my brand, Carol Danvers is a Good Bro, Prosthetics, Body Modification, Nightmares. Tony Stark Needs a Hug. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Summary: Post-Endgame, Tony’s life is a healing process. Word Count: 3759

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Title: Before They Outlaw the Kiss Collaborator: ralsbecket Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 026 - Alternate POV Ship: Stony Rating: Teen Major Tags: N/A Summary: Steve must have had an awfully pained expression on his face without realizing because before he knew it, Tony was getting up from his seat beside him and extending a hand. “Dance with me,” he requested, smiling at him softly. 

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Title: Touch Collaborator: SaganaRojanaOlt Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 023 - Touch Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Art Summary: N/A Word Count: N/A

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Title: Family Reunion Collaborator: Politzania Link: AO3 Square Filled: 023 - Touch Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Post Avengers: Infinity War, domestic fluff, ‘bot fic Summary: Tony and Pepper introduce Morgan to her older siblings. Word Count: 1071

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Title: ARC-reactor Collaborator: Menatiera Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 027 - ARC-reactor Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: arc reactor, polymer clay Summary: they’re tiny! :)

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Title: War Machine Collaborator: Fighting_for_Creativity Link: AO3 Square Filled: 023 - War Machine Ship: Tony/Rhodey Rating: Teen Major Tags: Soft, Hurt/Comfort, Rhodey POV, Tony needs a hug and gets one Summary: The whole 'acquiring a suit by any means' situation sucked big time. Good thing Rhodey knew where his loyalties ultimately lay. Also, pretending to steal something from Tony at least meant that Rhodey could spend some time with him beforehand. Word Count: 1131

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Title: War Machine Collaborator: SaganaRojanaOlt Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 023 - War Machine Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: War Machine Art

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Title: On the watch Collaborator: Menatiera Link: AO3 Square Filled: 027 - Peter Parker Ship: Stuckony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Winter on a mission, Bucky and Winter are separate personalities, happy ending Summary: The Winter Soldier takes his missions seriously. This Mark shouldn't cause any troubles. And then he does. Word Count: 3427

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Title: Insomnia Collaborator: SaganaRojanaOlt Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 023 - Insomnia Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: Tony Stark art

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Title: Drifting, Falling, Floating Weightless Collaborator: MagicaDraconia16 Link: AO3 Squares Filled: 027 - Image: Drift (adopted - ch1) | Nightmares (ch2) Ship: Pepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Angst, nightmares, post Infinity War, during Endgame, mentions of panic attacks Summary: After the Battle of New York, Tony was plagued by nightmares of space. The events of the immediate aftermath of the Infinity War have not made things better. Word Count: 1476

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Title: Birth of an AI Collaborator: SaganaRojanaOlt Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 023 - FRIDAY Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: art  Summary: Tony and FRIDAY art

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Title: Battery Now Included Collaborator: MagicaDraconia16 Link: AO3 Square Filled: 027 - Arc Reactor Ship: Tony & The Bots Rating: Gen Major Tags: An overabundance of bot feels? Summary: When Tony returns home from Afghanistan, the bots notice that something has changed... Word Count: 386

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Title: Sight Collaborator: Menatiera Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 027 - Sight Ship: Stuckony Rating: Gen Major Tags: retired!steve, blind!steve, happy!steve Summary: Moodboard and summary. Steve goes blind and retires - much to his boyfriends Tony’s and Bucky’s bafflement.

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Title: Happily ever after Collaborator: SaganaRojanaOlt Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 023 - Epilogue Ship: Steve/Sam Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: art of Sam and Steve

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Title: Wanna Be Somebody to Someone Collaborator: ralsbecket Link: AO3 Square Filled: 026 - MIT Years (adopted square) Ship: Stony Rating: Mature Major Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, MIT Era, Football Player Steve Rogers, Twink Tony Stark, Engineer Tony Stark, Howard Stark’s Good Parenting, TwinkTonyEvent, Crush at First Sight, One-Sided Attraction, (or so he thinks), (Steve’s an oblivious awkward doof), Dirty Thoughts, Masturbation, Hopeful Ending, unedited because we die as men Summary: Steve Rogers thought that he was fairly observant. He had to be when he was on the field; it was the sole reason he was offered a full-ride scholarship to be a tight-end for Boston University’s football team. But he learned embarrassingly quickly that his one blind spot involved a lanky-limbed, spectacle-wearing, tousle-haired brunet. Word Count: 2573

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Title: Heart of Iron - the movie night Collaborator: Menatiera Link: AO3 Square Filled: 027 - Director commentary Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: heart of iron - the documentary, the stark family watches the documentary about tony together, peter parker pov, endgame fix-it, retired tony stark Summary: “You must be kidding me,” Peter said. It’s not like he wasn’t willing to sacrifice himself in many ways for the greater good (which in this case meant the happiness of his chosen people), but he figured there should be a line to draw in the sand even in that regard. Tony apparently wasn’t on the same page, because he raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Either this or you can watch Trolls with Morgan again; it’s your choice.” Word Count: 4250

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Title: Reveal on skin Collaborator: Menatiera Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 027 - Nightmares Ship: Stuckony Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard, cursed!tony Summary: Moodboard and summary. Villain of the Week casts a curse on Tony to “reveal his true nature on his skin”. Instead of horrors, though, Tony’s hands start to resemble the night sky with thousands of stars.

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Title: Rock-a-bye Tony Collaborator: lbibliophile-mcu Link: Tumblr Square Filled: 022 - Rescue Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Gen Major Tags: edit Summary: Tony crash-lands, and Rhodey is no help at all. “Rock-a-bye Tony in the tree tops…” 

[saltine-kakyoin]

HEY SARAH I HOPE THE BUS IS FUN!!!!!!!! i mean that unironically jdskghfhjdkgh ANYWAYS if u wanna, do 1, 2, 7, 8, 12, 19, 22, 23, 29, AND 30!!!!!!!! 💕💕💕

RUTH!!!! YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW WILD THE BUS WAS- WHAT WITH THE KIDS GOIN MAD STUDYING FOR THEIR BIO TEST TOMORROW!! but aside from that, it was really fun!! i interrogated the choir + band directors on how/why they decided to go into music ed, which was *chef kiss* super enlightening and comforting

ANYHOW!! *cracks my knuckles like a mfin glowstick* let’s do this bro!!!!! thank you for sending these in!!

1. daytime lesbian or nighttime lesbian

Nighttime lesbian all the way baby!!! I have no idea how to explain this, but like i really feel like my mind Snaps in the night. listening to music, writing, drawing, having existential crises… it’s all better at night. i almost feel like it’s a sensory thing- since it’s dark, my mind isn’t like.. processing as much visually? so the brain juice gets redistributed?… idk. i just know we wildin once the sun sets

2. girls like girls lesbian or Gravel to tempo lesbian

brooooo this dug up SUCH deep repressed memories from when i was a wee sophomore and madly in love with almost all of the girls in marching band at one point or another… oh my God. gravel to tempo is a legend in her own right, but girls like girls is where it All began for me, so my heart is always w her :3

7. pet mouse lesbian or pet snake lesbian

snakes are fucking bomb, but considering ben and i have 3 prop pet mice (the Cave Rats…thos imbles…) for Ren Faire, i feel like i am Legally Obligated to say i’m a pet mouse lesbian lmao

8. fire lesbian or water lesbian

water lesbian all the way!! water in all forms is a blessing. fire slaps but i’m deathly afraid of getting burned, so. ghsdhghd

12. scented candle lesbian or incense lesbian

ruth we are the SAME!! scented candles all the way- i love setting them on fire + just having them ambiently burning in the bg….the candles w the wood wicks are the best, ugh ;w;

19. soccer lesbian or volleyball lesbian

this question is funky…i love and respect ladies who do both sports, but i am Legally Obligated to say volleyball lesbian bc of my really intense haikyuu phase…

22. Instagram lesbian or snapchat lesbian

insta and snap both suck but i prefer snapchat! instagram is just a little too like.. formal? superficial?? for me? idk. this is probably because i run accounts that my family can see, so i never truly Snap on insta? we go wild on snapchat! i must say, i do not enjoy how much snapchat drains the battery tho :(

23. 60s rock lesbian or 80s pop lesbian

60s rock is a Formidable Genre well deserving of respect, but i grew up listening to my mom’s 80s pop casettes and stuff, so! 80s pop it is :3

29. Steven universe lesbian or legend of Korra lesbian

always always always legend of korra. i watched steven universe for a while, but i eventually fell out of it bc of the fandom.. i was Ride or Die for ms. Korra though, her narrative (esp in the end, with kuvira??? and the ending w asami? FUCK) really Deeply resonated with me. i miss legend of korra no cap :(

30. pancake lesbian or crepe lesbian

i have only had 1 crepe in my entire life, at megacon earlier this year, but it was HEAVENLY. i mean no offense to all the pancakes out there, but like…idk all the pancakes i’ve ever had just. Cannot Compare to that singular crepe!!

[clevercatchphrase]

You Monster Chpt 33

(Full story found on my ao3 under the same username. I’m no longer linking chapters because tumblr won’t show them in the search results otherwise!)

Mettaton’s parts are heavier than they look. You aren’t surprised. After all, they did pack a pretty hefty punch every time he hit you, but trying to carry all four of his limbs is nearly impossible. Beside you, Alphys is having similar troubles, trying to get his body off the ground. All the while, the robot still hasn’t decided to enter sleep mode, instead insisting he provide words of encouragement.

“You’re doing excellent, darling! Remember, lift with your knees, not your back! Atta girl!”

“This is taking forever,” Alphys groans wiping her brow. “I’m gonna call for back up.”

Pulling out her phone, Alphys taps away on the keys as she writes out a text message. A moment later and her phone chimes with a response.

“Okay, Undyne, Sans and Papyrus are on their way to help move him. They’ll meet us in the MTT resort, so we just gotta make it that far.”

You push onward, carrying Mettaton’s arms draped over your shoulders and one leg under each of your arms. The going is slow, and the limbs drag on the ground and constantly trip you up as you get into the elevator and down the corridor back towards Alphys’ lab.

You’re greeted with screams of excitement when you open the door to the hotel lobby. The room is packed with monsters holding posters and t-shirts with your and Mettaton’s images plastered to them. News reporters with cameras and mics are asking for interviews and pictures.

Overwhelmed, you and Alphys clump together as the paparazzi surround you. Nervously, you smile and wave as cameras flash.

“Ah! There are the photographers!” Mettaton says, and begins cycling between faces of teasing winks and flirty kissing lips as his picture is taken. “I was wondering when they’d show up! Smile for the camera, darling! You’re a super star now!”

People crowd closer and ask for autographs while the reporters beg for exclusive interviews. You’re just about to get overwhelmed when I voice you didn’t think you’d ever find yourself missing shouts over the crowds.

“NYAGH! OUTTA THE WAY, PUNKS! VIP ROYAL GUARD COMING THROUGH!”

“And future royal guard also coming through!” A more nasally voice echoes.

“And also a sentry, if you want my two sents,” a third voice drawls at the end.

Reluctantly, the masses part as Undyne muscles a pathway through to them with Papyrus and Sans in tow.

“Guys! You made it!” Alphys beams.

“You called for backup?” the warrior asks. While she’s no longer in her iron uniform, Undyne is no less intimidating when she flashes that toothy grin at the both of you.

“Y-yeah!” Alphys blushes. “W-we need to get back to my lab pronto before Mettaton’s batteries completely drain. C-can you help?”

“Can I?” Undyne tucks Mettaton’s body under one arm and Alphys under the other. “Papyrus! Grab the kid and let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

You pass Papyrus Mettaton’s legs, which were definitely the heavier pair of limbs, but no less cumbersome than his noodle arms which still threatened to tangle up your legs. Beside you Sans watches with passive amusement.

“Do you want to give us a hand, Sans?” suggests Papyrus with irritation when he catches his brother just standing on the sidelines.

“Good job, bro” Sans claps lazily. “I’m really proud of you for giving a leg up.”

“Ugh! Never mind!” Papyrus groans.

“We’re ready, Undyne!” you announce. “Lead the way!”

“In that case, hang on tight, ‘cause we’re outta here! NYAGH!” Undyne bursts forth, leaving it up to the monsters to decide if they want to get out of the way or not as she charges through the lobby. The royal guard explodes out the front door, leaving you and Papyrus to do your best to keep up. The public scream in delight at your flashy exit and surge after you like a tidal wave.

“SANS!” Papyrus shouts, glancing back. “This is no time for antics! Keep up, brother!”

“It’s too late for me, bro. I’m a goner.” Sans says nonchalantly as he surfs the crowd, being passed around by monsters like a beach ball. “Save yourself. I’ll meet up with you again back at the lab.”

With Undyne waiting for no one, you’re forced to abandon Sans to the whims of the crowd and dash out of the hotel. The streets of Hotland are only a little less crowded as you make a break to the elevators. Along the way, monsters begin to point and whisper and cheer as your party scampers past and a few very overzealous fans begin to give chase.

“Crud, how are we gonna lose them?” Undyne asks when she sees the pursuers.

“I know! Head to the west elevator!” you say. “Go through the spider parlor!”

A wicked gleam flashes in Undyne’s eye as she follows your train of thought. She takes a sharp right, away from the hotel and into the narrow tunnel.

“Muffet! Are you here?” you call out when you reach the main foyer of the spider parlor.

“Back again so soon, dearie?” Muffet says as she crawls down the walls. “I just saw your performance on TV. Beautiful dance, mon ami! I’ll have to show a few of those moves to my spiders!”

“Yeah, the dance off was… certainly something!” you tell her. “But now we really need to get Mettaton back to the lab, and we’re being chased by rabid fans! Do you think you can slow them down for us and sell them a few of your backed goods?”

Muffet’s eyes crinkle with mischief. “Oooh, mon ami, that sounds delightful! Okay, girls!” she claps her three pairs of hands. “We’ve got a lot of customers headed our way! Let’s make this place spic and span so they never want to leave! Break out your oven mits!”

“Thanks, Muffet!” you shout as you jog on your way. Muffet merrily giggles and waves you farewell.

You reach the west elevator with no trouble and make it to the ground floor without any hiccups. The doors part and you’re greeted with clear streets, and at last you relax.

The sight of Sans reading a newspaper and leaning against the wall of Alphys’ lab meets you when you approach the building.

“Sans?” you speak up, looking back in confusion. “What- How did you get here before us?”

Sans shrugs. “Eh, I took a short cut. But that’s not important. Check this out, Kiddo. You’re in the newspaper.”

Sans turns the sheet over to show you the front page. Right smack dab in the center is a picture of you and Mettaton dancing together on stage. The editor captured a brilliant shot just when you and Mettaton both struck a pose while fireworks were exploding behind you.

“Wow, they work fast.”

“Eh, there’s never really much to report on down here, so the journalists ain’t exactly busy.”

From under Undyne’s arm, Mettaton squeals with joy.

“Oh darling! We made the front page! We’re headlining! This is the highest point of my career to date!”

“Hey, Sans! No fair!” Papyrus stomps. “I want a newspaper with a picture of my cool friend and favorite robot on the front to commemorate this moment too!”

“No problem, bro. Take mine,” Sans says, handing the newsprint to his brother.

Now it’s Papayrus’ turn to squeal like a school girl. He unceremoniously drops Mettaton’s legs and swipes the newspaper from his brother’s hand. “This is the greatest day of my life! My cool best friend is friends with a famous super star, which means I’m friends with a famous superstar by vicarious extension!”

He turns to you, hope in his eye sockets.

“Hey, pal? Mettaton? Do you think you could both autograph this for me?”

“Of course, darling! Bring it here!”

“Uh, sure. Anyone got a pen?”

Borrowing a pen from Alphys, you put your signature above your head, and then pass it to Mettaton, before remembering his current state.

“Er, do you need help holding the pen?”

“No need! Bring the newspaper close to my beautiful face.”

You do as instructed. Mettaton sucks his lips in, then puckers them out and smooches the space next to his image.

“Mwah! There we are!” He says craning his head back, and you pull the paper away to find a silvery blue lipstick mark.

Papyrus shrieks with joy when you hand him back the newspaper.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Papyrus says squeezing you in a hug so tight that your lungs threaten to collapse, before letting you pass out. He twirls around and raises the newspaper high above his head to admire it.

“Hang on to that autograph, darling, because it’s the only one of its kind. I’ll be worth a fortune one day!” Mettaton winks.

“As if I’d ever sell this!” Papyrus scoffs. “This picture here commemorates the exact moment when my super cool best friend and super cool robot idol made their break out performance and went from rivals to allies! This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me! I’ll cherish it for as long as I live!”

You realize, too late, to warn Papyrus to knock on wood for such overconfidence, but either the universe like a cruel joke,

“Arf! Arf!”

Or fate does not like to be tempted,

“Arf! Arf!”

Or maybe a certain little someone had an ear for hubris and just loved to wreak chaos wherever he went.

“ARF ARF ARF!”

Three quick barks are all the warning he gives as he darts through your legs. From out of nowhere, the small white dog leaps from the crowd and snatches the newspaper from Papyrus’ raised hands.

At first no one says anything- too dumbfounded by the sheer fact this tiny toy mutt cleared a vertical leap ten times his height.

The annoying dog does a graceful half turn in the air and lands with masterful precision, back into his signature play bow, facing the flabbergasted group.

There’s a tense moment as he stares you down with that devilish canine grin of his. And maybe the wind had blown the fur on his face the wrong way for a second, or maybe a cinder got in his eye, or maybe, just maybe the dog knowingly-

and intentionally-

winked at you.

“GET! HIM!” Papyrus explodes and tears after the pooch.

Apparently not understanding Papyrus’ rage, the dog wags his tail harder as the screaming skeleton runs up to him to play. Bursting with overstimulation, he races off, running circles around the other monsters, faking lefts and rights to trip Papyrus up and even running back through the skeleton’s legs. Yelling in borderline mania, Papyrus closes in on the dog, coils his legs beneath him, makes a desperate lunge with outstreched hands- and falls just short of grabbing the pooch, spilling to the ground.

The dog stops, play-growling and panting simultaneously so that it sounded suspiciously like huffing laughter, before skipping off in the direction of Waterfall.

“Noooo!” Papyrus wails, face down in the dirt. “I can’t! He’s won! This is the last straw!”

“Never fret, darling!” Mettaton says. “It’s not the end of the world!”

“Yeah, Papyarus,” You console him. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“No you don’t understand!” Papyrus pounds on the earth, throwing a tantrum on the floor. “That dog is always stealing MY things! MY action figures! MY cellphone! MY special attacks! NEVER anyone else’s! He intentionally went after MY newspaper! There are dozens being circulated right now, but he had to have that one because it was MINE! And knowing him, he’s probably running off to line is crate with it!”

“Darling! Don’t worry!” Mettaton assures. “We can get you another newspaper and I can autograph it again!”

Papyrus is silent for a long minute as he laments to the soil. “Fine,” he sighs at last when he regains his composure. “Though it won’t be as great as the original. This one just won’t have the same sentimental value, but I guess it would still suffice as a memento...”

Picking up Mettaton’s limbs once again, your group finally makes it inside Alphys’ lab where she guides you and the others to her upper balcony to deposit his pieces.

“Hup! There you go!” Undyne huffs as she slips Mettaton back into his docking station.

“Oh yes!” the robot sighs once plugged in. “That feels miles better already. Thank you, darlings.”

“Th-thanks for your help, Undyne,” Alphys stutters. You place Mettaton’s arms on the table while Papyrus drops off the legs. Is it your imagination, or is there a rosy hue on Alphys’ face? It could just be due to exertion from lifting Mettaton’s heavy parts, but the dreamy adoration shining in the royals scientist’s eyes as she watches Undyne stretch makes you think otherwise.

“Heh! Anything for you Alphys!” Undyne beams, her smile wider than you’ve ever seen. You blink, suddenly remembering the last conversation you had with the royal guard and Kid before you parted ways, and the teasing you heard from Bratty and Catty. Silently, you study the two out of the corner of your eye, noting the way they shyly brush hands and awkwardly fidget, and a realization hits you like a ton of bricks.

“You like her don’t you?” you ask the scientist when Undyne moves a ways off.

Alphys jumps. "W-what?! Wh-who told you!?”

“No one. I figured it out for myself just now. And, well, I guess it was pretty obvious when you said Undyne’s name to Bratty and Catty, too, but I didn’t make the connection then.”

“W-w-well d-d-don’t go telling anyone! Especially Undyne! Just the thought of her laughing at me makes me nauseated.”

“Laugh at you? Why do you think she’d do that?”

“Look at me!” Alphys throws her hands in the air. “I’m already a huge science nerd! She’d never want to be with a geek like me! All my statistics say so!”

“Says who?”

“Says ever media trope and dating simulator ever! When has the jock EVER hooked up with the nerd? It’s statistically impossible! Just… just keep it to yourself, will you? Please?”

Reluctantly you nod, and Alphys seems satisfied. You keep your eyes trained on her as she moves closer to Mettaton to back up his coding, then you uncross your fingers from behind your back.

You tiptoe around Alphys and Undyne and head back down stairs where Papyrus and Sans chat.

“Papyrus, I have a problem and I need your help,” you tell him.

“Fear not, friend! For I, the Great Papyrus, shall find a solution! Now tell me of this trouble!”

“It’s Alphys and Undyne. I think they’re friend zoning each other.”

“I… I am afraid I don’t follow,” Papyrus admits. “Alphys and Undyne have always been great friends! Why is being in the friend zone an issue?”

“Because they both want to be in the date zone but neither will tell the other, and they don’t know how the other feels about them.”

Papyrus gasps as if horror struck. “I see! Yes, this is a very serious problem indeed!”

“I need your help to get one to admit to the other how they feel. Then they’d both be happy.”

“Noble plan!” Papyrus says, giving you a fist bump. “And I have the perfect idea to get them together! Let me run home and get a plate of my spaghetti and meatballs. Sans, can you play the accordion?”

“No, but I can play the trombone.”

“Close enough!”

“Um, how is any of that supposed to get Undyne and Alphys to confess their feelings for each other?” you ask.

“Don’t worry! I saw this in a movie with dogs once! The lovely couple share spaghetti and end up kissing! Viola! Instant relationship!”

“Um, I was more or less thing something along the lines of forging a note from one of them to give to the other, and I was wondering if you could help me write it, since neither of them seems brave enough to do it themselves.”

“Also a brilliant idea!” Papyrus claps, and begins searching Alphys’ desk for blank paper. “We may have the best luck if we impersonate Alphys. Undyne’s writing style is a bit too flowery to imitate, with all her pink poetry and what not.”

“Purple prose,” Sans corrects.

“That too!” Papyrus smiles, placing a wad of paper and pencils between the three of you. “Okay! How do we flatter a fish?”

“Run over it a second time,” Sans quips.

“SANS!” Papyrus interjects while you barely contain your giggles. “…That was, admittedly, a really good joke, but slightly inappropriate for our current situation! But I like your enthusiasm! Keep it up, brother! We will woo Undyne yet!”

Grabbing a pen and paper, you begin jotting down as many cheesy pickup lines and science puns as you can think of.

--

It’s barely twenty minutes later when Undyne decides to take her leave, much to your dismay. You and Papyrus have only written one draft of your love note, but it will have to do.

“Well, I guess I’d better be going, then.” Undyne says as she moves towards the exit. “See you around sometime, Alphys?”

“Uh, s-sure Undyne!” Alphys fidgets, like she’s dying to say something else, but can’t find the words. “O-our usual anime night?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Undyne says, but you can tell it’s forced, like she want to say more as well, but can’t find the nerve. “See ya on your rounds tomorrow, Papyrus. Sans.” She nods at them. “And I guess… good luck with Asgore, kid.”

Undyne leaves through the front door and Alphys sighs. “W-well, I guess I’d better get started on reattaching Mettaton’s legs…” with a defeated exhale, she heads back upstairs.

Once you’re alone with the skeletons, you give them a nod. They nod in return and pass you the note. You flash thumbs up and run out the front door to catch up with Undyne.

“Undyne! Wait!” You shout as she makes her way to the ferry, waving the note above your head. “Alphys forgot to give you this before you left! She said it was very important and that you had to read it right away!”

You hand Undyne the letter and she opens it without hesitation. Her eye scans the page, creased with seriousness before her brow raises in surprise. She blinks a couple times and rereads it again, slower this time as she absorbs the words.

“Wow… I can’t believe this…” She says looking at you. Your spirits rise with hope. “I can’t believe… you’d thought I’d actually fall for this crap!”

And just like that, you’re hopes are crushed. Panicked, you try to back away, but Undyne presses closer to you, jabbing you in the chest with one finger. “What’s the big deal, punk?! Everyone knows Alphys’ handwriting is worse than chicken scratch! She’d never write this legibly, and not to mention in PAPYRUS FONT! Why under the earth are you trying to impersonate her and send me fake love letters?”

“Because she won’t do it herself!” you huff. “She’s crushing just as hard on you as you are on her, but she doesn’t have the nerve to tell you!”

"Wait, who told you I have a crush on her!?” Undyne demands, recoiling in horror.

“Oh, come on, it’s clearly obvious to any monsters with eyes that you two like each other,” you snort, crossing your arms in indignation.

“Wait…so what you’re saying is that Alphys… feels the same way about me?”

“Yeah, but she thinks if she tells you, you’ll turn her down or worse, that you’ll laugh at her. She already thinks you just put up with her weird interests to be a good friend.”

“That’s ludicrous! I’d NEVER laugh at her for what she’s passionate about! It’s what I love about her the most!” Undyne grips your shoulder as if ready to shake some sense into you.

“Then why don’t you tell HER that?” you retort.

The pupil in Undyne’s eye dilates, as if seeing clearly for the first time.

“You’re… you’re right! I DO have to tell her! And now that I know she shares the same feelings as I do, I don’t have to worry about her turning ME down!”

Without warning, Undyne grabs you by the arms and lifts you off the ground.

“C’mon I gotta tell her I know and I feel the same way! I gotta tell her everything!”

Undyne tucks you under one arm like a football and takes off at mach speed. If feels like you only blink once before you’re back at the lab, where Undyne drops you to pry open the doors when they don’t open fast enough.

“ALPHYS!” Undyne shouts, standing proudly in the door way, dramatically back lit from Hotland’s glow. “I have something very important to tell you! A confession, if you will!”

“U-Undyne??” Alphys jumps from her computer chair. “Y-y-you’re back! I-I-I wasn’t expecting you to come back so soon! I-Is something wrong?”

“Yes! Alphys, I am afraid I’m sick.”

“You are? Well, quick, come sit over here and I can give you a diagnostic-“

“-SICK OF KEEPING MY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU A SECRET!”

Alphys pales and you don’t blame her. You thought Undyne was going to be gentler about this. You didn’t expect Undyne’s confession to be so… abrasive. Undyne sounded more like she was about to command you to do a hundred pushups instead of confess her crush. She storms over and lifts Alphys up until they’re eye level.

“Alphys! Ever since the day I met you in the dump, I saw the dedication in your eyes! The passion you had for the work you did, and the things that inspired you! That fervor! That zeal! Your ability to accomplish anything you put your mind to! It’s infectious!”

“U-Undyne, I never knew you felt that way about me!”

“Alphys, it’s your dedication to your goals that inspires me! It’s what I love most about you!”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes! And I would be greatly honored if you gave me the privilege to be that partner to help you achieve those goals!”

“I-I-I… y-yes! Yes, Undyne!” Alphys cries out in delight, wiping away tears of joy. “I-I would love nothing more!”

“My, this certainly seems cause for celebration!” Mettaton says from the upper level, having overheard the conversation below. “This day has been just full of dramatic revelations, hasn’t it? All in favor of a little festivity?”

“I would, but I really should be going now,” you say. Your work here is done, and you’ve still got a king to meet.

“Darling, you can’t leave just yet!” Mettaton insists. “You must stick around for the after party where we’ll do Q and As and talk to the press, strike up some brand deals, and then following that is the after-after party where we’ll shoot the behind the scenes 'Making Of' special, and then there’s the after-after-after party where you can only get in if you know someone who knows someone-”

“And d-don’t forget,” Alphys says from within Undyne’s embrace. “There are still throngs of people out there in the streets. I-It’d be impossible to get back to the MTT resort without being mobbed by your new fans looking for an autograph… H-how about you wait it out here for a while?”

“Yeah, punk!” Undyne adds. “Alphys and I can finally show you what anime is!”

“Oh! And we can finally have that sleep over! For real this time!” says Papyrus.

“Just… one more night, Kid?” Sans asks, clasping a boney hand on your shoulder. “What do you say?”

With four faces looking at you expectantly, it physically hurts to think about disappointing them.

“Alright,” you fold, smiling in good nature. “I guess one more night won’t hurt.”

The impromptu party is thrown together with remarkable speed. Papyrus and Sans are quick to arrange a table full of snacks while Alphys and Undyne queue up at least five movies to watch on her big screen monitor. The first movie on the list is one about dinosaurs trying to find a new home, then it’s followed by a movie about the trials of a baby deer, and after that is a movie about lions in Africa, and after that is another movie about dinosaurs trying to find a new home, except this time the dinosaurs are CGI, and to wrap things up is, finally, an anime about a wolf and a goat. It was a great pain Alphys had to go through not to find anime with humans in it, but she succeeded in the end.

It takes a while for the party to settle, for the thrill to die down and the atmosphere to shift from alert, high energy to a relaxed air where one could just enjoy another’s company. The human hangs around the sidelines around the time the first movie ends, waiting for when either of the two newly announced daters needed a break to catch Alphys alone, and finally manages it when she gets up to refill her popcorn.

“Hey Alphys?” The human says carefully, not wanting to draw too much attention to themselves while Undyne laughed at some anecdote Papyrus retold.

“W-what’s up?” The scientist asks.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” they fiddle with the sleeves of their sweater, clearly nervous. “I’ve been meaning to say this earlier, but I never found the chance with Mettaton constantly getting in the way and all, but… thank you.”

“Th… thank you?” Alphys stammers, completely taken off guard. “For what?”

“For everything,” the human says. “For helping me solve the puzzles, to helping me escape Mettaton, and everything in between.”

“What, that?” Alphys smiles weakly. “Th-that was nothing. I didn’t do anything important. You did all the hard work.”

“But you did!” The human says firmly. “Maybe you don’t believe what you did was that significant, but for the first time since I left Snowdin, I feel like you’re the only one who actually tried to HELP me get home. Everyone else just tried to get in my way to slow me down, but I feel like you made an honest effort to get me through Hotland. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

They smile at her, and Alphys forces a smile back, but she can’t hold it.

They’re… thanking her? But… she HAD tried to slow them down. Honest? But she had lied worst out of any of them.

“S-sure thing,” she says quietly.

“And when I see the king tomorrow it will be all thanks to you.” And the next thing she knows, they’re hugging her, tight and safe and trusting, and she can’t take it. Oh, no. Alphys didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to get the girl of her dreams, she didn’t deserve to be the hero, she didn’t deserve their praise. Not when she's deceived them. Not when she's kept secrets from them- from everyone- worse than anyone could imagine! And when they smile at her, genuine and true, it’s the last straw. The last drop of guilt that makes the dam crack and break, and her outward reputation built on a foundation of lies starts to crumble.

“N… no…” Alphys says grimly, pushing them away. “You shouldn’t.”

“Oh, sorry,” the human apologizes, thinking they’ve invaded her personal space. “I didn’t mean to-“

“No, not that.” Alphys says, gripping her upper arms. “You… you shouldn’t be thanking me. I’m… I’m no better than anyone else you’ve met. In fact, I’m probably the worst of them all.”

“What?” the human laughs nervously, probably wondering if this is some elaborate self-deprecating joke. “Of course you are!”

“No, you don’t understand!” Alphys sniffs, raising her voice, and other heads turn her way. “I’m probably the least honest monster you’ve met so far! I-I’ve been lying to you from the very beginning!”

“Alphys…” Sans says in a cautious tone.

“Lying about what?” The human asks, worried.

“About everything! I-I-I was working with Mettaton the whole time!” The scientist sobs. “Y-y-you were never in any real danger up until the hotel. All those traps he caught us in were set up. I knew how to get out of them from the very beginning.”

“What… what do you mean?” The human takes one step forward towards her, and she takes three steps back, determined to keep distance between them. Her friends nervously get to their feet, worry clearly on their face, but unsure about moving forward if it would only push her away.

“Alphys?” Undyne says cautiously from the other side of the couch.

“A-a-and I’ve lied about helping you! I was trying to slow you down just as much as everyone else! In fact, all this time I was really studying you, because-!”

Across the room, Alphys’ phone blares an alarm. All the monsters in the room jump at the sudden noise, being as tense as a loaded bow string.

“It’s six o’clock,” Alphys gasps, hands flying to her muzzle. “Oh no, I forgot to give them dinner!”

“Alphys…?” the kid speaks up nervously, clearly distressed about the sudden outbreak. “Are you okay?”

Alphys looks at them sadly, and then to her friends who all wear pleading, desperate expressions.

“No, I’m not,” the lizard monster says sadly, inching towards the “restroom” along the north wall. “M-my lies go deeper than anyone realizes. I didn’t just deceive you; I deceived everyone in the Underground and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to… take care of something now, and whatever happens next, please don’t follow me.”

The “restroom” door parts and Alphys backs into it. The door slides back down before anyone has a chance to react.

“Alphys!” Everyone leaps for the door, scrambling over and around furniture and work benches, but none get to it in time. Undyne bangs on the metal panel so hard that it starts to dent, but still they don’t give.

“DAMNIT! Why won’t the door open?”

There’s a soft ding, and a faint light shows up on the restroom sign to the right of the door. It’s then that you notice that the restroom label is slightly crooked and… peeling?

Curious, you reach for the corner of the label, betting on a hunch, and tear it away to reveal a panel with two letters and a row of colored dots between them.

“G and B…” You read out loud. The letter ‘B’ is currently illuminated.

“Hey, this isn’t a bathroom!” Papyrus says. “It’s… an elevator?”

“But where does it go?”

As soon as the question is asked, the lights of the sign begin to shift, tracing backwards from B to the G. It chimes a pleasant note when it reaches the ground level once more and opens its doors expectantly.

“Down, apparently,” Sans notes. “Should we go after her?”

“Well DUH, dummy!” Undyne says, stepping in without a second thought. “You heard how upset Alphys was! We gotta make sure she’s okay!”

“Agreed!” Papyrus seconds the notion. “Alphys is our friend! We should be there for her if she needs us!”

Everyone piles into the elevator. There are no buttons on the inside. Instead, the doors automatically close and the lift descends, lowering far too slow for anyone’s comfort. All four occupants are tense and antsy as they try not to bump into anyone else in the tight space. Everyone keeps their eyes straight forward, anticipating the second the doors reopen.

At last the elevator rumbles to a steady halt and the door slides open. The group stumbles out of the lift, into a dimly lit hallway that echoes with bad vibes that instantly give everyone second thoughts about coming down here. A wave of cold, musty air hits your face as you step forward into the dim, murky hallway. Motion sensor monitors blink awake as you pass. You only pick up snippets as you try to keep up with the group, but you think they mention something about research on fallen monsters, human souls, and flowers.

“What is this place?” Papyrus asks, marching down the hallway.

“It’s like… some sort of sublayer of Alphys’ lab,” Undyne says, pointing to the blueprints on the wall and the shelves of beakers and vials. “Sans, you used to work with Alphys, right? Have you ever seen this before?”

“No, I haven’t,” Sans says mystified. “My main area of research was the CORE. To be honest, I never really saw how Alphys’ “research station” on the ground floor was considered a good set up for soul research, but this… THIS is a true lab.”

An ominous warning feeling prickles at the back of your neck in trepidation. You avert your eyes and keep your head low as you pick up the pace. The corridor opens into a lobby, complete with fake ficuses, fold up chairs and a vending machine. Across the other side of the room is another gaping doorway leading into darkness. The four members of the party stare at it. In the silence, scraping noises could be heard in the distance.

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Sans says.

“Well, there can’t possibly be anything… bad… down here,” You point out. “I-It’s just dark. We know Alphys is down here, so there can’t be anything dangerous nearby… right?”

“Yeah! We can’t wimp out now! It’s just Alphys!” Undyne says. “C’mon! Let’s find her!” And with that, Undyne forges ahead into darkness.

The hallway immediately turns right as it guides you past rows of locked offices, the names on each door long since peeled off or have been scratched out by some resentful claws. At the end of the hall is a door labeled “Dormitory”, and it’s slightly ajar. Is it your ears playing tricks on you, or do you hear breathing coming from the room beyond it?

“Looks like she went this way.” Undyne says, grabbing the doorknob and pushing it open. The hinges whimper only a little, as if frightened they’ll be punished if they make too much noise. A strange mist curls at your ankles, curiously poking at your footwear.

The four of you enter. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust. In the gloom, Undyne’s eye has dilated until her black pupil almost obscure her yellow sclera. San’s eye lights seem to have grown as well, but only cast about as much light as a glow stick in the dark.

When you can finally distinguish shapes in the low light, you discover the room is filled with medical cots, arranged in perfect columns and rows. Along the far wall, you spy more hallways branching off into the unknown. The four of you fan out, standing shoulder to shoulder. You take a step forward and your foot kicks a bowl. Bits of dry dog food scatter on the floor. You can’t shake the feeling you’re being watched.

“This place is huge,” Sans whistles as you creep along the northern wall. Your party turns north into the first branching hallway you find, but before long the corridor splits again at a T intersection. Hesitantly, you all look down each fork as far as you can see. “Should we split up to look for Alphys?”

“You dolt!” Undyne scolds him, flicking him on the top of the skull with her thumb and index finger. “Haven’t you ever watched a scary movie in your life? You NEVER split up from the group! There’s safety in numbers!”

“Yes, but we could cover more ground, Undyne!” Papyrus points out.

“Yeah, not to mention the whole “arguing about not splitting up thing” is becoming a trope in of itself,” Sans adds.

“It’s way too dark to see safely down here,” you add, siding with Undyne. “This place could be a labyrinth. We could get lost.”

“Yeah, but if we split up, one of us might get hurt, or something worse, and no one would be able to help!”

“We could travel in pairs!” Papyrus suggests.

“If we all stick together we could just as easily all get lost at once compared to if we split up,” Sans notes. “Mathematically speaking, spreading out is more beneficial to our cause. After all, it’s just us and Alphys down here, right?”

The question is rhetorical, but no one makes a noise of agreement. Everyone’s eyes shift side to side in uncertainty.

It’s just you and Alphys down here. And maybe if you say it enough times, you’ll start to believe it.

“R-right. Pairs it is, then. Papyrus, you and your brother start searching the west corridor. Me and the kid will head east.”

There’s a silent nod of agreement as your group splits into pairs. Turning right, you take one last look as the skeleton brothers’ head west before following Undyne into the pitch black hallway east. The air seems to drop in temperature the further you go.

“Alphys!” you call out into the darkness, your voice reverberating off the walls. “Please come out! We just want to talk with you!”

“SShhhh, punk!” Undyne hisses. “You gotta be quiet!”

“Why?” You ask. “Aren’t we the only ones down here?”

“Well, yeah! I mean, I think. Ugh! I don’t know anymore! The longer we’re down here, the more I feel like we’re not alone…”

“But we can’t be quiet if we’re trying to find her! How else will she know we’re here?”

Undyne can’t seem to find a response to that, and instead marches on.

Side by side you tiptoe down the hallway. Half way down, you unconsciously reach up and take the warrior’s scaly hand for comfort. You don’t even notice what you’ve done until Undyne is squeezing your hand back for her own reassurance. You hold her tight, not wanting to lose her in the low visibility.

The path you’ve chosen ends in a dead end room packed floor to ceiling with cooling fans on two of the three walls, quietly emitting an ever-present hum. At the far end of the room is a switch.

“Light switches?” you say optimistically.

“A light switch? All the way down here in this dead end hallway on the other side of the room?” Undyne says skeptically.

“Hey, you never know,” you argue and go up and flip it.

The monotonous thrum of the fans dies down instead as their blades still, leaving the room more deathly silent than before.

“Tch,” Undyne clicks her tongue as she studies the ceiling. “Well, it was worth a shot, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess this means we can go back the other way and meet up with the guys now, huh?”

A low rumble sounds behind you.

“What was that?” you say quickly.

“Maybe it was just one of the fans who didn’t get the memo about turning off?”

The grumble from across the room turns into a growl. The two of you spin around on your heels to catch an amorphous form emerging from the darkness.

There’s… a creature lurching towards you from across the room, but it doesn’t look or behave like any monster you’ve met so far. Its body is stark white and dripping like melting snow. An ever-changing, uncountable number of limbs protrude from his body, sprouting and retracting back into its mass, a self-contained shadow, darker than darkness is collected under its legs with glowing eyes peering at you from between its shifting limbs. The bulk of it tapers off into one lump you dare call a head, but instead of a face, there is just a circle of blackness with no texture or shape to hint its depth, just a pure space of void that is aimed right at you. The creature is huge, bigger than you and Undyne combined.

And it’s blocking the only exit.

“St-stay back!” Undyne shouts, throwing her arm in front of you like a shield. You are not sure if the statement was directed at you or the creature. She summons a spear to look threatening. “What are you, and did you do anything to Doctor Alphys, you freak?!”

The thing in front of you seems confused as well. Its many legs jerk and spasm as it clamors toward you to inspect you closer.

“I’m warning you!” Undyne yells, pointing her quivering spear in its general direction. “T-take another step and you’ll get to know this spear up close and personal!”

The beast makes a snuffling sound, the void on its head constricting with each huff of air. Two protrusions on its head perk up as it begins to erratically inch closer.

“H-hey! Didn’t you hear me, freak? By order of the Royal Guard, stand down! I’m giving you to the count of three to back off or I. Will. Fire!”

Undyne lifts her spear high and stands at the ready. In the same moment the beast in front of you crouches as if ready to pounce. Its whole body quivers violently.

“One…!”

You narrow your eyes. Why is there something so familiar in the way that it’s poised? The tilt of its head, how its hindquarters are up in the air…

“Two!”

The wag of… its… tail- oh god you know what this is.

“Thr-!” “Undyne! Don’t hurt it!” you tackle the guard in a panic, barreling into her waist just as she looses her spear. The weapon goes flying far off target to the left, and the creature immediately spins around and lunges after it.

“Punk, what the hell???” Undyne screams at you. “That thing was about to attack us!”

“No, it’s not,” you say as you get up on your shaking knees. “I-it’s a dog, Undyne. It’s just a dog.” Your voice won’t stop trembling.

“A dog!? Brat, I work with dogs, and I can tell you that thing ISN’T a dog!”

“B-but it is! Watch,” you blow a shrill whistle, then turn your attention to the room’s exit, and just as you figured, the white mass comes charging back. It skitters to a halt, its head turning to each of you, not sure who summoned it. You step forward to catch his attention.

“H-hey boy,” you coo, patting your knees with all the bravery you can muster.

“Sh-show Undyne here that you’re just another old pooch. Come here!”

The amalgamate’s body goes ridged at the command, before its ears fold back and it leaps forward, It lets out an ecstatic ear-piercing shriek as it knocks you flat, its tail wagging so fast it’s just a blur. It rubs its face all over your sweater, coating your shirt in dog hair and a cold aqueous gel you’d rather not think about.

Behind you, Undyne screams and grabs the collar of your shirt to yank you out of harm’s way.

“Brat, are you trying to get yourself killed?!” Undyne says, holding you two feet off the ground.

“No, look! He’s calming down!” You fight back. “Really! Try petting him!”

“I’m not going anywhere NEAR that thing and neither are you! What if this hell spawn ate Alphys?”

The culmination of canines whines as if struck and cowers, placating.

“It’s okay boy, or… girl, or whatever you are. You’re not in trouble. You’re a good dog.”

Seeking affection, the amalgamate crawls closer and stretches out its neck to meet your out reaching hand. You ruffle the fur on the top of its head and the monster’s body shakes with joy.

Half way through your pet, the monster pulls back and begins to heave, and its whole body spasming as it hacks something up from what you only hope is its stomach.

With a violent cough, Undyne’s blue spear falls out of the hole in its face and onto the floor, coated in slobber.

The three of you stare at it for a second, and then the amalgamate puffs up its chest proudly.

“Ha ha, see? It is a dog,” you tell Undyne. “It brought your spear back for you.”

“Well if it’s a dog then it should be able to find someone by scent!” Undyne says. Her shoulders un-tense at last, and she almost looks impressed at the monster. “Hey, mutt! Find doctor Alphys!”

The monster’s ears twitch at the name, but it doesn’t move.

“Go on! Sniff her out!” Undyne repeats.

The canine tilts its head.

Undyne rolls her eye. “You know; FETCH.”

The amalgamate leaps to its feet and does a one-eighty so fast that its claws skit on the tile, making it cartoonishly run in place for a second. The creature lets out a bark so deep, you feel it in your bones. When at last it finds traction, the amalgamate tears off, its rear end fishtailing and crashing into the wall of fans as it lunges for the door way.

“Guess we’d better follow it,” you say. “It’s as good a lead as any.”

You catch up to the amalgamate in the hallway. Its face is so low to the ground its almost touching it as it snorts at the floor, head swiveling back and forth as it searches for the scent. Its face traces over one spot before it slingshots back, and studies it intently. After a tense moment of sniffing, its head comes up and it brays, loud and deafening when it finds a trail and takes off towards it.

If the halls weren’t so narrow, you don’t know if you’d have been able to keep up with the amalgamate. Its feet constantly scramble to keep it up right, as if not acquainted with having so many legs. Sometimes the amalgamate doesn’t even stay on the floor, instead choosing to crawl along the walls and ceiling as it snakes through the tunnel.

Making a hard right, the canine amalgamate leads you through the showers and into a room lined floor to ceiling with shelves of video tapes, where it proceeds to spend several minutes sniffing the shelves.

“She must’ve been here recently,” you note, eyeing the strange VHSs and old TV in the middle of the room.

“Well, she isn’t here now,” Undyne says, before the amalgamate takes off once more. “Come on! We can’t lose it!”

Ahead the amalgamate makes a sharp left, skirting a pit so deep, you can’t see the bottom of it. The amalgamate disappears down another hall, only to have screams answer a second later.

“Sans and Papyrus!” you gasp. “Quick, we gotta stop them before they hurt the dog!”

You race into the room as fast as you can. “Stop! Heel!” you preemptively shout, only to find a cage of blue bones trapping the amalgamate.

“Nobody move!” Undyne orders as she enters the room.

“No need to fear!” Papyrus says when he catches the sight of your confused faces. “I have detained the threat! We are uninjured and safe!”

“It’s not a threat, Papyrus. It’s a dog!” you explain.

“He won’t hurt you.” Undyne grunts. “Typical dog. Can’t stay focused if there’re bones nearby!”

The amalgamate twists around in circles. You can’t tell if it’s fascinated or confused by the blue bones, but then to everyone’s surprise, it hunkers down close and then the void on its face begins to expand. With a great intake of air, like the magnetic pull of a black hole, the amalgamate inhales one wall of bones into its orifice, completely unfazed.

“Well then!” Papyrus says only slightly perturbed. “I should have anticipated that bone attacks would have no effect on a dog monster!”

The amalgamate lets out another earth shaking bark before pouncing on Papyrus.

“Hey! Paws off the little brother!” Sans shouts, his eye flaring blue.

“Sans! No! It’s okay!” you scream. “It’s just a dog! It won’t hurt him!”

Beneath the pile of white sludge, papyrus shrieks a bone rattling cry. “Help! I’m being affectionately licked to my death!”

“A dog?” echoes Sans, eyeing the enormous conglomerate of canines. “If that’s true, what kind of dog, then?”

“Uhh, mixed breed?” you offer. In the distance, you think you hear a snicker and a shiver runs down your back. Blinking, you momentarily put the thought to the side but keep your eyes peeled. “It likes to be pet and knows how to fetch, at the very least. We were hoping it could help us find Alphys, but it looks like he caught the scent of you two instead.”

“Leave it to a dog to find a bunch of bones!” Undyne snorts. “You two having any better luck?”

“No sign of Alphys so far,” Sans reports. “It was really foggy in here and we couldn’t see anything for the life of us, but then it suddenly cleared up. Maybe a second look around wouldn’t hurt.”

“As much as I’d love to find Alphys,” Papyrus grumbles, affectionately stroking the canine monster, “I can’t get any searching done if I’m constantly being assaulted by over excited canines! Can we please get this guy out of the room?”

“Sorry, Paps. You know the rules.” Sans shrugs. “Once you pet a dog, the pact is sealed. He’s yours now.”

“But he’s impeding our search and rescue efforts!”

“How about we regroup?” Undyne suggests. “It seems pretty clear this mutt isn’t going anywhere without you, Papyrus so how about you and I take him back to the dormitory where he can stay out of the way, while Sans and the punk keep looking for Alphys?”

“UGH! Fine! I will be on dog-sitting duty!” Papyrus grumbles, wiggling his way out from beneath the amalgamate. He looks over his shoulder blades at you and Sans as he leaves the room with the canine in tow. “You two! Be quick about it! We don’t have all night to find Alphys!”

“No worries, bro,” Sans assures him. “We’re keeping our eye-sockets out for her.”

Undyne and Papyrus groan as they exit the room. But from somewhere behind you and Sans-

“Ha… ha…”

That uneasy shiver runs down your spine again. Sans must feel it too, for his eye lights shift from side to side as he tries to pin point the haunting laughter.

“Who’s there?” he flinches, looking sharply over his shoulder. In the very back of the room, you think you see a figure wince and withdraw into the shadows behind a row of refrigerators. Whatever is over there sure isn’t Alphys, but if it’s just as scared of you as you are of it, then it can’t be all that dangerous.

“Sans…” you say quietly. You point to the last fridge. Sans nods. “No sudden movement. Turn around… very… slowly.”

You creep over to the ice box and slowly peer around one of its sides while Sans does the same on the other. Huddled in a corner is another amalgamate, pale blue and white. Timidly it squawks when it realizes its cornered, shedding snowflakes from its ruffled feathers and forcing you to back away.

“Hey there,” Sans says softly to the creature. “Sorry if I spooked ya. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it. Mind coming out?”

“Who’s … there…? Who’s… there…?” The monster mimics Sans in a tired voice. “Knock… knock?”

“Is…. Is this a knock, knock joke?” Sans asks, beads of sweat forming on his brow. “’Cause I’m great at those, but it doesn’t’ really work if you tell ‘em backwards like that.”

“Maybe WE should try telling the knock, knock joke?” you suggest, inching closer to Sans. “It did laugh at your eye socket pun.”

“Worth a shot.” Sans shrugs. “Can’t do any harm, anyway. Knock, knock.”

There is a moment of silence before the monster pokes its head out from around the side of the fridge again, and you get a clear look at it for the first time. Its eyes are sagging and vacant. It’s got a beak and wings like a bird, and much like the canine amalgamate, it seems to melting, or, err, molting in this case. Parts of it seem more plant-like than feather like. A cold mist clouds around its beak when it exhales, and the general air around it is so cold…

“Who… is… there?” It asks curiously.

“Their snow.”

“Their… snow… who?”

“There’s snow door bell, so I have to knock!”

“Ha… ha… ha...” the melting monster chuckles, feathers and slush dripping from its amorphous body. “Sn… snowy…”

Clumsily, the amalgamate steps forward and you have to fight back a gasp of shock. In better lighting you can see the monster more clearly. It looks like some hybrid of the Snowdrake you met in Snowdin combined with the Vegetoids you know in the Ruins.

“Hey, I think it worked.” You say let’s try another.”

“No problem, kiddo,” Sans winks. “I can dish out jokes for days. Listen to this one- where does a snowman keep his money?”

“Where…?” The amalgamate asks.

“In a snowbank!”

“Ha… ha… Thank you…” the amalgamate laughs.

“Pardon us, but I didn’t realize you hybrid monsters could talk.” You ask quietly. “Who are you?”

“I… don’t… remember…” It says, ruffling its feathers. “Got… got lost… so… long ago…. Where…. Where did… they… go? I… need to… go home… want to… go home… Where is home?”

The more it talks, the more agitated the amalgamate becomes and the less definite its shape holds, like it’s losing itself.

“Hey! Hey! No worries,” Sans says comfortingly. “We can help ya. No need to fall apart on me.”

“Heh… heh…” the amalgamate smiles weakly. “I… remember… now.”

“You do?” You say hopefully. “What happened to you?”

“We… I… Missssess drake… me.” The monster says, trying to keep its words straight. “F… fallen… down… The doctor… said… she could… help…”

You stifle a gasp. Beside you Sans goes ridged.

“Mrs. Drake? Snowdrake’s mother?” you say nervously.

“Ah… little… Snowy… so funny…” she smiles fondly. “Just… like his… father.”

“Mr. Drake…” Sans says absently. He turns to you. “His comedy routine’s been in the pits since his wife fell down and his son ran away from home.”

“Did Alphys do this to you?” You ask sadly, looking at the depressing amalgamate.

“Al… phys… doctor…. Alphys said… stay determined… she… would… help…”

“My God…” Sans says. His eyes go dangerously dark. “I knew Alphys had wanted to run tests on monsters, but I didn’t think she’d do THIS to you.”

“Not… her… fault…” Mrs. Drake says. “Not… her… fault… no… one’s… fault… no… one… knew…”

The amalgamation begins to shiver again, becoming upset once more.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Drake,” You comfort her. “Do you know where Alphys is now?”

“Know?... No…” the amalgamate says.

“We’re gonna help you get home,” Sans promises. “Don’t worry, we won’t be mad at Alphys.”

“Let’s take her back to the dormitory with the others,” you say, lending her a hand. Mrs. Drake places a wing into it, and at once your hand goes numb as it’s enveloped in the strange gelatinous sludge.

“Might as well. This way is a dead end.” Sans notes, nodding at the room. “Alphys wasn’t down this direction. Was there more to explore where you found the pooch?”

“No, but I think there was another hallway that led out the dormitory. We can still go that way.”

You retrace your steps back to the main room with the beds, where you discover Undyne and Papyrus have shoved several cots together for the canine amalgamate to curl up on.

“Sssshhh!” Undyne hisses at you when you enter the room. “We just managed to get Endogeny to calm down, so don’t make any loud noises!”

“Endogeny?”

“Yeah!” Undyne says, pointing to the dog bowl you had kicked when you first came in the room. “That’s their name! Or at least, that’s what Papyrus and I assumed. They respond to anything you call them if you say it in a mushy voice. Isn’t that right, stupid face?” Undyne coos. Endogeny whines ecstatically.

“Wait, where is Papyrus?” Sans says, looking around the room and noticing a lack of brother to be found.

A lump beneath Endogeny’s fur begins to move and a gloved hand pops out between one of its many pairs of legs.

“Over here!” Papyrus says. “It seems Endogeny feels anxious when they do not have a chew toy to cuddle with, so I had to be a substitute.”

“Chew toy?” Sans asks in concern.

“Ah! Do not fret dear brother! I may have been the role of chew toy, but I was not in harm’s way, for Endogeny has no teeth! Or mouth! Or a face for that matter! So there was never any danger!”

“Never mind all that!” Undyne interrupts. “Did’ja find Alphys?”

“No, but we found someone else,” you and Sans step aside to let Mrs. Drake enter the room. “Oh God, another one?” Undyne says.

“It’s Snowdrake’s mom, Undyne,” you explain. “One of the monsters Alphys was trying to prevent from falling down. We think Alphys accidentally did this to them.”

“Wait, these guys are the monsters that Alphys TESTED on?” Undyne shutters. “Then that means… these dogs-“

“Were probably formal guard members.”

Undyne looks at Endogeny with new light. A look of sadness shadows her face. “What did Alphys do?” she whispers sadly.

“Not her fault… not her fault…” Mrs. Drake repeats, shaking. “The doctor… is good… she did not… mean to…”

“Hey, hey,” Sans says, patting the amalgamate’s back the best he can. He has to stop when his hand starts to meld into her form. “We aren’t mad. Just worried and concerned.”

“There’s still one more hallway we haven’t searched yet,” You point out. “Alphys could be down there.”

“I think I’m gonna have to stay here, bucko,” Sans says. “Mrs. Drake seems pretty shaken. I think I’ll keep her company and tell her a few more of my stellar jokes that are out of this world.”

The amalgamate chuckles and begins to grin.

“See? There’s the smile I’m looking for.”

“Okay, then. Undyne?”

“Don’t think I can, punk.” Undyne says. “Endogeny only stays relaxed if someone can maintain a constant petting environment with supplemental head scratches at a Mach Five speed, and if I don’t do it there’s no doubt in my mind Endogeny will go on another rampage that will surely kill hundreds via love tackle. D’you think you’ve got the endurance for that?”

“Uh… I don’t think so.”

“Ah! It looks like it is my turn to go exploring dimly lit corridors with y new best fried!” Papyrus says, squeezing out from under Endogeny’s legs. The amalgamate gives a small grunt of displeasure before rolling over for belly rubs. “Come on, friend! Let us succeed where other great monsters have failed and find the doctor! We shall return triumphant!”

“Okay. We’ll be back as fast as we can, guys!”

You exchange ‘good lucks’ and ‘farewells’ with Sans and Undyne, and take off down the east hall with Papyrus. It’s not long until the dormitory fades out of sight. Ahead of you, the hallway brightens a little, filling your heart with hope, but when you round the corner, you’re met with just another hallway. On the left side, the wall is lined with mirrors that trick your eyes into believe the corridor is actually bigger than it is. On the right side, a row of tables covered with flower pots growing under artificial lights borders the wall. Ah, so that’s why it seemed brighter.

Your heart skips a beat when you recognize the plants grown. They’re golden flowers. Why are there golden flowers way down here? Wait… If… if Alphys had created these amalgamations, then… was it possible she had created other things as well?

“Hey, do you hear that?” Papyrus whispers to you. You listen close and pick up the faintest sound of… a crinkling wrapper?

Stealthily inching forward, you and Papyrus edge the wall. It’s yet another monster, this time with a body of blue and green, with arms of brown and a head of deep purple. It hunches over something in front of you, its head nothing more than a giant mouth and a pair of eyes. Its body is slug-like with two muscular arms and no legs.

“It’s another amalgamate,” Papyrus says.

“Is… is it eating something?” you ask when you hear its jaws crunch and snap. You swallow hard. What if it’s eating- no. No, it couldn’t have. The other amalgamates you’ve met so far have bend nice and friendly, so why would this one be different? Besides, dust doesn’t crunch. “Should we approach it?”

“I think not! It would be rude to strike up a conversation with someone while they have their mouth full!”

You strategize with Papyrus on what to do, when a new noise distracts you from behind. It’s a tapping noise that echoes above you, and you turn around to find a lanky figure emerging from the overhead vents like viscus fluid.

It’s ANOTHER amalgamate, twice the height of you and Papyrus combined. Its body is a mottled color of red and orange, with two skinny legs, a pencil thin neck, a massive, pointy bill and razor sharp wings. It has one eye that makes up all of its face, and when it blinks you can’t help but notice its eyelids are lined with teeth. As soon as the amalgamate sees you, it lets out a blood curdling screech and charges forward.

“Papyrus! Duck!”

The skeleton snatches you up and covers you like a blast shield. “I think it looks more like a stork or a crane, but still definitely avian!” he says in a panic, as the monster rushes past.

The amalgamate doesn’t pay you any mind as it dashes past you and Papyrus, instead going straight for the other amalgamate in the room. The first amalgamate hisses in defiance at the newcomer’s approach, turning its back on the bird as it tries to protect the thing it had been snacking on.

With angry screeching that sounds like twenty different bird calls at once, the bird monster attacks the other with rapid-fire pecks from its beak and raking stomps from its claws. The big lipped monster screams in protest, grabbing the bird’s neck with its muscly arm in an effort to keep it at bay, but it’s no use against the bird’s sheer amount of reach. Flapping its razor wings in retaliation, the bird pecks at the slug-monsters eyes. The assaulted amalgamate shrieks in pain, and releases the bird to cover its face. The attacker, now freed, swoops its head low and snatches at the prize the injured amalgamate had been guarding.

“No, Reaper Bird!” it cries out, it’s voice many-layered like a chorus. “These are Lemon Bread’s! Get your own!”

Reaper Bird raises their head triumphantly, the prize held high out of Lemon Bread’s reach, safely in its serrated jaws. It’s then you can see clearly what they are fighting over.

“It’s… a bag of chips!” you say in disappointed annoyance. With a cry of outrage, Lemon Bread swipes at Reaper Bird’s legs with their thick tail, knocking the thieving amalgamate to the ground. The chips scatter across the floor and the skirmish starts anew.

“They’re fighting over junk food! You tell papyrus. “We have to break it up!”

“Hey! Be careful!” Papyrus warns you as you wiggle free of his grasp.

“Stop! Stop it you two!” You demand, pushing the monsters apart and holding your hands up between them. Reaper Bird screams something that sounds like ten different insults at once at you as it stomps it feet angrily, scratching up the title.

“Listen to them!” papyrus demands, stepping close to your side. “Look at yourselves! You two are clearly adults, yet you can’t even share? Did you learn nothing in Kindergarten?”

Reaper Bird says something that you can’t make out and snaps its beak.

“I’m… I’m sorry, could you run that by me again?” Papyrus says.

Reaper Bird screams and doubles over, contorting its jaw before shouting;

“We are starving!” “Supper is late!” “He took the last bag!”

“The doctor never came,” Lemon bread grumbles in its many toned voice. “Said she would bring dinner, but nobody came. Forgotten about us again. Forgotten forever.”

“That can’t possibly true!” Papyrus scoffs. “If you are a patient of Dr. Alphys, then she would never abandon you!”

“That’s what they all say.” Lemon bread hisses, narrowing their eyes at you.

“H-hey, what’s going on here!” A familiar stuttering voice demands. A wave of relief washes over you when you turn to find Alphys carrying a box full of canned goods “I’m f-f-five minutes late to give you dinner and you start going at each other’s throats? H-have some manners!”

Reaper Bird and Lemon Bread hang their heads apologetically.

“H-here,” Alphys says, passing them each a can of ravioli. “T-take turns using the microwave, a-and cover your bowls with a paper towel so it doesn’t splatter everywhere!” Alphys tells them as the two amalgamates excitedly rush off down the corridor. “A-and Reaper Bird, will you quit turning off all the lights? It’s bad for your eyes to stay in the dark!”

“Florescent lights hurt my eye!” “I am just one big eye!” “I have night vision!” it says all at once.

After they’ve vanished from sight Alphys turns towards you, but doesn’t look you in the eye.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that. That you had to see any of this,” she says quietly. “I-I guess you know the truth now, don’t you? About all the horrible things I’ve done to these monsters. I-it’s okay if you’re angry at me for hiding such terrible lies. I understand…”

“Alphys!” you and Papyrus say in unison as you rush forward to embrace her in a hug.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you hurt?”

“We thought we’d never find you or see you again!”

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“You… you have?” Alphys blinks confused. “I thought… I thought you’d be angry with me.”

“We’ll admit we’re a little upset, but we were more scared and concerned about you above anything else!” Papyrus says. “We were so worried!”

“Y-you were?”

“Of course! You’re our friend, Alphys!” you tell her matter-of-factly. “We all came down to look for you!”

“You were looking for me?” Alphys parrots, disbelieving. “Why?”

“Is there an echo down here?” You giggle. “We all came looking because we were worried, Alphys. We all care about you and didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

“That’s… That’s so kind of you,” Alphys sniffs. “I- I don’t deserve any of this. Y-you should have just left me here. I d-don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve done!”

“Yes you do, Alphys!” you huff. “So stop putting yourself down like that! Sure, it looks like you’ve done some… questionable things, down here, but whatever you need to confess, we’ll still support you, no matter what, okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” the royal scientist perks up just a little bit and stands a little straighter. “Let’s go back to the main room. I still have to give Endogeny and Mrs. Drake their dinners, a-and I’ve got a lot I need to come clean about to you guys and… and to everyone.”

Alphys follows Papyrus and her lab partner back into the dormitory, albeit reluctantly. Sans, Undyne, Endogeny and Mrs. Drake meet her there. She braces for a bunch of raised voices and accusations and angry questions but instead she is only met with more worry and concern. When the anger she had been preparing herself for ultimately never comes, she finally has a break down.

“This… is what happened to your soul research?”

“Y-yeah,” Alphys sobs. “E-everyone seemed fine at first. I.-I w-was going t-to send them all ho-ome but then when they melted together and st-started to lose their identities, I-I couldn’t do it. A-all their fa-amlies would hate me and blame me, and they’re not wrong! I did this to them! The longer I kept putting off sending them home, the harder it became. Every day I got more angry phone calls, a-and I just ignored it like a c-coward until they eventually gave up and stopped calling.”

In the comfort of Undyne’s arms, surrounded by her closest friends and a dog ready to offer sympathy at a moment’s notice, Alphys recounts her tale, how she extracted determination from the king’s collection of human souls, to injecting monsters with concentrated doses of determination, to hiding them in the basement when the experiment had failed.

Her audience listens patiently, and while not once they ever raise their voice or scold her, Alphys can see the horror and frustration in their eyes at her words.

“Th-that’s why when you thanked me, I p-panicked,” Alphys says to the human. “You… you were the first person to not know of anything I’d done prior, and working together with you was fun! Helping you was fun! You g-genuinely liked me, and for a few moments, I didn’t feel like a disappointment anymore! I remembered what it felt like to be depended on by s-someone, but I knew in my soul that image of me in your mind was smoke and mirrors, and I didn’t deserve that praise. I… I originally liked to you because I wanted to study you, b-but by the end of the day I really did want to be your friend, but if I c-can’t even tell the truth, then how can I ever make a friendship work?”

“So it’s true, then?” The human says, distracted. “You wanted to study me? Mettaton said as much when we had the dance-off, but I thought he was just trying to get in my head.”

“Uh, y-y-yeah,” Alphys sweats. Beneath her, Undyne tenses, and she can feel Sans and Papyrus watching her nervously. “B-b-b-because, I, uh, you, aah…”

“Because I’m a Boss Monster, right?” The human fills in the blank. “My soul is a little stronger than average monsters, right? And you wanted to learn more about it? You couldn’t really do that to Asgore, since you work for him. You wanted to study it to help the other monsters?”

In that moment Alphys realizes she has a choice; to stick to the truth and come clean about EVERYTHING or take part in a lie she hadn’t even started. She realizes then, if she told them the truth, it would hurt them, and that she’d be taking down everyone else with her. All this time she had been lying and keeping secrets to protect herself. Was a lie still just as bad if it was to protect someone else?

“S… something like that,” Alphys says, neither lying flat out, nor telling the truth either. If the kid would offer her a way out, then she would take it. No need to complicate things further. She’d already come clean about most of her lies. The lies of others are a different matter.

“Alphys, I know how you feel, and I know what you’re going through,” The kid tells her. “Because I’m the exact same way. You feel like you’ve screwed up so horribly that there’s nothing you can do about it, that it’s all your fault and there’s no way you can be forgiven no matter how hard you try, but those thoughts are wrong, Alphys.” They glance at Sans. “Someone once told me as long as you own up to your mistakes and do your best to mend them, no one can fault you for bad intentions.”

“Y-y-you really think that?”

“Of course, dummy!” Undyne says, hugging her tight. “We got your back no matter what! As long as you honestly try your hardest to help those around you, we’ll be there to support you!”

Alphys whimpers and sheds a few tears of relief. “Th-thank you guys so much. I-I-I want to be a better person, I really do, and knowing you’ll forgive me for the mess I didn’t mean to cause really helps.”

Gently, Alphys pries Undyne’s arms off of her and gets to her feet. She lets out a sigh, and then stands up tall. “Now that I know you guys don’t blame me, I’m ready to tell the rest of the Underground what happened as well.” She waves the amalgamates to come close. “Come on, everyone. It’s time for me to take you all home.”

[starryseo]

another world. | kim seungmin

pairing ↠ seungmin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ this was meant to be fluff but if you read the warnings below, you will see that that failed

wc ↠ 8863

summary ↠ video games are fun, but being trapped in one isn’t as nice, even if you’re stuck in it with your best friends

warnings ↠ swearing, fighting (mentions of blood) and major character death (i’m sad but not sorry)

a/n ↠ one of my faves, hope you all enjoy!!

16:43: Hyunjin -  17 more minutes!!!!!

16:43: Felix – tHIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME

16:44: Jisung – 16 more minuTES!!!!!!!!

16:44: You – i leave for half an hour and yoURE STILL COUNTING DOWN

16:44: Felix – stop killing our vibes bro

16:44: Hyunjin – #HaterzAreMyMotivatorz

16:44: Jisung – it makes it more exciting okay joIN US

16:45: Felix – it’s a new minute……….

16:45: Hyunjin – say it y/n

16:45: Jisung – say it say it say itsayitsayit

16:45: You – it’s time

16:45: Felix – :)

16:45: You – for me to get new friends

16:45: Felix – :(

16:46: Jisung – :((

16:46: Hyunjin – :(((

16:46: You – :D

16:46: Hyunjin – we’re not friends anymore

16:46: Jisung – agreed

16:46: Felix – agreed x2

16:47: You – agreed x3

16:47: Jisung – wHy Do YoU hAtE uS

16:47: You – because none of you are giving me chan’s number :(

16:47: Felix – he’s out of your league

16:47: Hyunjin – he’s out of MY league

16:47: You – hyunjin shut up

16:47: Jisung – hyunjin shut up

16:47: Felix – hyunjin shut up

16:48: Hyunjin – what’s with this slander?? weren’t we all against y/n?

16:48: You – they finally realised i’m better than you

16:48: Jisung – omg shut up and get online PLEASE

You turned your phone off, running down from your bedroom to your living room. Grabbing your controller, you hit a button, waking up your console from its rest mode. The screen still showed the loading image of the game you had downloaded. So far, only a beta version of the game had been released to the public, and the four of you were more than excited to try your hand at it, seeing as it was one of the latest, most talked about, virtual reality games. Since it was still an unfinished game, only a certain number of people could join, so you all had loaded the game beforehand, the developers updating you that the game would officially be ready to play at 5PM exactly.

Clearing the room so you had space to move, you grabbed the SenseSet, the headset built just for this franchise, propping it on your head and fixing the mic. It was a headset that stimulated all of your senses via your brain, so you could fully experience and control your in-game character. You watched eagerly as the minutes ticked away, getting closer to 5PM. When you had mere seconds left, you grabbed your controller, ready to hit the ‘X’ button and start the game as soon as possible. When the clock struck five, you pushed the button, waiting with bated breath. As soon as the loading screen faded into a welcoming screen, you cheered, immediately grabbing your phone.

17:00: You – IM IN BITCHESSSSS

17:00: Jisung – jhsfkjashf SAME HERE

17:00: Felix – ayyyyy #squad

17:00: Hyunjin – i didn’t get in

17:00: You – sucks to be you

17:00: Jisung – better luck next time bro

17:00: Felix – oh well

17:01: Hyunjin – why are you bitches so heARTLESS

Hyunjin – I WAS LYING. I GOT IN, BUT SCREW YOU ALL

17:01: You – we knew you were lying

17:01: Hyunjin – h o w

17:01: You – intuition? :’’’)

17:01: Felix – spidey senses???

17:02: Jisung – your profile says you’re in the game dumbass

17:02: Hyunjin – oh yeah whoops

Grinning as the page finished loading, you went through a quick set-up of adjusting the screen size and resolution before the game actually began. A robotic voice, you couldn’t tell whether it was male or female, started speaking as your screen changed to a dark blue colour, the words they spoke appearing as though someone was typing them on screen.

“Welcome to Another World,” it began, the screen fading to show vibrant images of the virtual reality game. It showed hills and rivers where people were training and fighting, and also the bustling towns where people had gathered for festivities. The typing continued over the images in the background. “A place where you can be who you want, however you want. Make new friends, explore new places and forever have fun, in this brand-new world where you are your own master. Please enter your real name – this will only be visible to people you have chosen to share it with.”

On screen, a keyboard appeared, and you used your controller to spell out your name before hitting enter.

“Please enter your screen name – this will be visible to everyone.”

Typing in your username, WhoAmI, you were glad it was available and you didn’t have to spend time thinking of another one. The screen then zoomed into the world until one street was displayed. A plain figure was also displayed on screen with your username above their head. A banner with ‘Recreate yourself’ written on it was at the top of the screen, different settings emerging on the side with buttons to personalise your character. After much deliberating, you had created your whole character finally adding a black cloak with a silver dragon embellished on it to complete the look. You hit enter and the screen transitioned to a first-person perspective, still in the street.

“On your wrist, there is a Viewer – it is impossible to remove the Viewer and tampering with it will result in a ban. Please click on the Viewer’s screen.” The voice instructed.

You clicked on the watch, a hologram-like screen appearing in front of you now. As a default, it opened your profile, displaying your name, username, level and health bar. There was an empty friends list to the side and multiple other tabs at the top too.

“To add another person, you must open your friends list,” the voice told, just as a square highlighted your friends list. “Please click on your friends list.”

You were taken through a thorough tutorial of how to use the Viewer, familiarising yourself with the other tabs (the main ones being the inventory and map tabs).

“Please head to the Town Hall. Use your map to navigate to it.”

Opening the map, you looked for where Town Hall was written, clicking on it so a path was highlighted. You closed the screen, the map shrinking down to be displayed on the Viewer.

Upon arriving, the voice spoke up, “Enter the Town Hall building for a briefing.” Just as you were making your way to the building, you heard several voices call out your name.

“Y/n, where are you?”

“Oh man, what if they already died?”

“Shut up, Felix; if you haven’t died, I doubt they have.”

You turned to the boys standing just off to the right of the building. You made your way to them, swinging your arm around one of them as you grinned. “Did you guys miss me?”

“Ew, of course not,” Hyunjin grumbled, shrugging your arm off of him.

“C’mon, we were waiting for you to come so we could go in together,” Jisung spoke up.

“Aw, cute, you’re all lost without me,” you laughed, making your way to the building.

“I told you we should’ve left without them,” Hyunjin mumbled and you nudged him.

You all entered the building one after the other, but as soon as you entered, you could no longer see them. The place was filled only with computer generated characters to fill the scene.

“Guys, can you hear me?” you questioned aloud, looking around. “Felix, you there? Jisung? Hyunjin?”

After radio silence, you walked forwards a couple of steps before a voice spoke out. “Welcome to Another World. I am the developer of this world, Park Jinyoung, and now, I am in control. You may have noticed that the tutorial failed to show you a log out button – that is not a defect or glitch. You cannot log out of Another World, and an outsider will not be able to shut down or remove the SenseSet from your head; doing so would force the transmitter in the headset to discharge a microwave signal into your brain, destroying it and killing you. Media outlets are already aware of what removing the SenseSet would do, so the likelihood of removal is, hopefully, minimal. Cutting the power will also be futile as I installed an internal battery in the SenseSet.

“Now that we have all 1,500 people in the game, the world and all its mysteries will be acting in full force. The only way to get out of the game is to clear the three boss levels I have personally created. If, at any point, your health falls to zero or you are killed, not only will your avatar be killed, but the SenseSet will trigger the microwave signal, ending your life, so reviving someone is impossible. Only once you have cleared a level can you move onto the next. Once all three levels have been cleared, the game will end. Players, I wish you all good luck and remember to have fun. Thank you for playing Another World. This concludes your tutorial.”

When the booming voice silenced, the noise from the computer characters took over your senses once again. You quickly turned around, rushing out of the door you had come again. You were met with Hyunjin’s character looking around worriedly, and you jogged over to him, asking, “Where are the others?”

“They haven’t come out yet; did you get the same message?” He looked relatively scared, like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and unfocused.

“About this being real? Yeah, what the hell kind of messed up shit is this?”

“What the hell was that?” you heard someone yell, and you and Hyunjin turned to see Felix running out of the building towards you.

He was followed by Jisung who was repeatedly saying, “No, no, no, this can’t be real, right?”

Hyunjin was the first to speak up, “It makes sense,” he started, and you all turned to him, fear evident in your eyes, “he wasn’t lying about the internal battery and there really is no log out button – I went through all the settings. Plus, we have no control of our bodies now, so we wouldn’t be able to pull off the SenseSet even if we wanted to.”

He was definitely correct about that last part, even you were sure about that. The SenseSet had been advertised as the most revolutionary headset since it gave the user the full experience their character would undergo, the only way to regain your senses was to quit whatever game you were playing.

“So, we’re actually stuck here?” Felix murmured, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “And we have to fight to get out?”

“Wait…” Jisung started, hesitantly, “Would we have to kill people, like, actual people and not just the computer-generated ones?” You all looked at each in silence, no one answering him since the answer was obvious and grim.

“We should get a move on,” you suggested, Hyunjin nodding along with you. “We should try to level up or something, learn more about the game so we can get the hell out of here.”

“We need to do that quickly, there are probably other players that wouldn’t hesitate to attack us.” Hyunjin said, opening his Viewer up, “Let’s add each other first, though.”

You all opened up your Viewers, adding each other. You snorted at Hyunjin’s username, “‘JinyoungILY’, dude you’re such a loser.”

“Says you, ‘WhoAmI’; you’re a lameass, that’s who you are.”

“Oh, burn!” Felix laughed, high-fiving Hyunjin.

“Shut up, ‘Here2FixIt’, how stupid,” Jisung rolled his eyes, “I don’t even want that name to be in my friends list.”

“Oh shush, you love me, ‘ProteccTheSquirrels’,” he grinned, slinging his arm around Jisung’s shoulders.

“Let’s just all agree that I have the best username,” Hyunjin said, smirking. And so, one-by-one you all unfriended Hyunjin, walking away together.

The four of you had explored the map as much as you could before evening came. After talking to some other players, you found out that people could go on missions which would help train yourselves, boost your levels and give you experience points and qreele – the currency in this world.

Earlier, the four of you had taken a few small missions, helping some computer-generated characters decorate their houses, assisting in a charity shop and other mundane tasks. This gave you enough money to head to a nearby café where you all snacked on cake and hot drinks. The drink warmed you up perfectly after spending the whole day out, working and learning more about Another World, and the setting sun made you even more tired. You ate the final part of your cake, the cream tasting so real, so delicious, yet you still couldn’t come to terms with being stuck in a game.

“Guys,” Felix started, leaning his head on the table sideways, “where are we even going to sleep? I’m tired as heck.”

“Sleep is for the weak!” Jisung exclaimed, chugging the second coffee he had ordered.

“Idiot…” Hyunjin mumbled, rolling his eyes at Jisung, “We should probably look around for a place to stay, it’s getting even darker outside.”

You all got up after that, throwing away your rubbish and leaving the café. After wandering around for a few minutes, you walked past an alleyway. You all chose not to walk down there but hearing grunts of pain from there enticed you all to check out what was happening. You hid along the sides of the entrance, trying to look at the commotion. You heard the clatter of metal against the ground before someone growled out, “I won’t ask again, give it to me.”

A feeble voice coughed out, “No, get away from me.”

“Shit,” Felix whispered, eyes widened in panic, “We have to help him out.”

“How?” Jisung squeaked out, “We can barely even see what’s happening!”

The streetlights barely glowed in the alleyway, only showing their shadows on the ground and illuminating the dumpsters and rubbish lining the floor. Hyunjin took lead, instructing Jisung to grab a nearby pot, Felix to duck behind the dumpster and for you to grab the nearest bin lid as a shield. He then moved away from the wall, cupping his mouth with his hands. “Hey, dumbass, why don’t you pick on someone your own size!”

The man, realising the guy on the floor wasn’t going anywhere, dashed in Hyunjin’s direction. Just as he was running past, Felix stuck his leg out, tripping the man over so he thudded to the ground. Jisung threw the pot at the man, managing to hit his head. The man seemed stunned and Felix used this time to help the injured man up just as Hyunjin tackled the guy out of the way. He gained strength, however, easily pushing Hyunjin off who slammed against the wall. He turned to Hyunjin swinging his arm back when you threw the lid at him, hitting his back and grabbing his attention away from Hyunjin. In that moment, Hyunjin kicked the man in the back of his knees, him falling to the ground once more, as Jisung picked up another object, throwing it at the man.

Just as you and Felix had managed to grab the injured man and Hyunjin, the attacker grabbed the bin lid throwing it at Jisung. It flew into his shoulder, the edge cutting him and tearing his shirt. He grabbed his shoulder, grunting in pain, as it started to bleed.

As soon as you heard the man get up, cursing, you heard a small rock-like object hit the ground and then smoke emerged, clouding your vision. You heard a voice usher you guys to follow them and, having no other choice, you did. After a while of running, you somehow managed to lose the burly man you had just fought off somewhat successfully.

“Okay, I think we’re in the clear now,” he spoke, leading you guys to a side street which was lit up well. You tried looking at his face but the mask and cloak he was adorned in concealed him well.

“Uh, guys…” Felix called, “What the hell’s happening to this guy?”

“It’s like he’s disappearing,” Hyunjin said, shaking the man’s shoulders to try and wake him up.

“Look!” Jisung pointed, “His Viewer’s flashing!”

“Let me see,” your saviour said, rushing to the man and holding his wrist. “Oh God, he has no health left.”

“He’s at zero?” you asked, moving closer to the group, just as the man opened his bruised eyes.

“Th-Thanks for saving me,” he barely managed to croak out.

“He is now.” The man who had saved you replied, showing you the Viewer which displayed the number zero in a large, black font. Simultaneously, your heads turned back to the injured man just as his eyes shut, body becoming pixelated as bright colours appeared as small dots until they all faded into a grey shadow of the body.

And then he vanished. In his place was a blue screen with the words XxILoveDarkxX has left printed on it.

Hyunjin and Felix’s arms fell limp to their sides, no longer holding up a body.

“Did… Did he seriously just go?” Felix asked, facing the hooded man.

“Shit, please tell me that was a computer not an actual person,” Jisung said, also facing the man.

He shook his head slowly, “Computers don’t get Viewers, he is- he was human.”

In the sombre silence, the four of you followed the man back to his hideout. He led you to the entrance of another alleyway, but he didn’t walk further. Instead, he looked back, checking for any lurking players, before he crouched to the floor, lifting the metal plate leading to the sewers.

“Your secret place is the sewers?” Hyunjin asked, raising a brow and facing you as though asking you ‘should we make a run for it?’

“Just trust me,” he replied, ushering for you all to go down first.

Felix went first, followed by Jisung who struggled as his shoulder was still injured. You and Hyunjin then went, followed by the man, who made sure to close the lid again. There were light green lights illuminating the place and, strangely, there was no dirty water contaminating the whole floor, but there were two streams on either side of the walkway. Once you had climbed down, the man told you to follow him further in.

You eventually arrived at an open area – a place you definitely didn’t think would exist under the ground. The middle part of the room was slightly lower than the rest and there was a large sofa on one side, a table in the middle and a TV on the other side. There were arcade games lining part of a wall and a fridge next to it and a counter beside it. There was even a door with ‘TOILET’ spray painted onto it. The whole place seemed like the most perfect underground headquarters you had ever come across. You looked further on and there was higher ground with a tree planted in the middle; there were training dummies scattered around that room with weapons hanging off of them and other training facilities on the side.

“Dude, this is wicked!” Felix exclaimed, running ahead and jumping on the sofa.

“There’s no way you could’ve built this place,” Hyunjin inquired, turning to the man – he still hadn’t revealed his name, but his username which, you only brought your attention to now, was ‘SquirtleMin’. “The game was only released today, how’d you know about this?”

The man shrugged his shoulders, pulling his hood off and his mask down, “I was running away from some people, and, what better place to hide than underground?”

“I don’t mean to be a nuisance, guys,” Jisung called out, “like, please, carry on, I’ll just carry on bleeding out, it’s fine.”

“Oh shit, Jisung, you idiot,” you said, pulling him to the sofa.

“Yeah, I’m the idiot, it’s not like you were the ones that forgot I got hurt.”

“In our defence, a man did just die,” Hyunjin said, “I think we’ve got more important things on our mind.”

“I was hurt saving your dumb ass!”

‘SquirtleMin’ had just come back from the bathroom, looking through a first aid kit. He pulled out some gauze, bandages and a saline solution. “I don’t actually know what I’m doing,” he started, “don’t you know what to do?” He asked Felix.

“The username’s just a joke, dude,” he laughed, holding up both hands innocently.

“Don’t trust Felix with that,” Hyunjin interfered, grabbing the solution, “he’d probably kill Jisung.”

Somehow, Hyunjin had cleaned the cut and wrapped it in the bandages successfully and Jisung’s health had stopped slowly decreasing – he was only at 93 which wasn’t too drastic.

“Here, drink this.” The man told Jisung, handing him water. “It should help regain your health.”

“So, who are you, ‘SquirtleMin’?” you asked, crossing your arms and relaxing into the sofa.

“Who am I, ‘WhoAmI’, that’s a great question.” The man laughed, sitting on the table opposite you.

“If you guys are going to make bad username puns, just kill me now,” Jisung groaned, leaning his head back onto the sofa.

“C’mon, let’s just add each other,” Hyunjin suggested, opening his Viewer to add the man. You all followed after Hyunjin and he accepted, revealing his name to be Kim Seungmin.

“Wait…” Hyunjin started hesitantly, “You go to school with us, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I didn’t realise it was you guys until now.” He grinned, “I thought I just met another group of losers.”

“You’re hilarious, aren’t you, Squirtle?” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, joining Seungmin on the table.

“Yes, I am, ‘Jinyoung I love you’,” Seungmin smirked, nudging Hyunjin’s arm, “Mind asking your lover to get us out of his game?”

Hyunjin scoffed just as Felix snorted out a laugh, “Disgusting, I don’t love that creep, I have standards. I love GOT7’s Jinyoung.”

“Their names are both Park Jinyoung,” Jisung pointed out, posing as though he was thinking of something.

“The creepy ass game developer is part of GOT7!” Felix exclaimed, jumping up, “Conspiracy theories!”

“He should’ve just stuck to the music industry,” you grumbled.

The five of you had created makeshift beds and hammocks to rest in overnight; they weren’t the most comfortable things to sleep in, but for now it was good enough.

That morning you ate breakfast with the food already in the fridge before deciding on what tasks to do for that day. Jisung had healed up fine overnight, so he, Felix and Hyunjin decided to go on a mission whilst you and Seungmin headed to the library to get books on this place before exploring more.

“Dude, this is tiring,” you groaned, faceplanting into the book in front of you. It had been a good few hours since you arrived at the library, reading book after book on anything and everything about this world – from its vast history and how it came to be, to the creatures and legendary monsters hidden within. “If I read another word about how freaking amazing the scenery in this hellhole is, I’m going to cry.”

Seungmin held back a laugh, rolling his eyes at your antics. “Why are you so dramatic? It’s your own fault for picking the boring books,” he pushed a book, ‘Magnificent Myths’, your way. “Read this one.”

“But you just read that,” you moaned, pushing it back and resting your chin on the table, “and the title sounds cheesy as heck, man.”

“You’re so difficult,” he murmured, and you grinned when he shut the book in his hand, pushing it aside. He mimicked your position, leaning over the table, face mere inches away from yours. “What do you want to do, then, y/n?”

Your eyes lit up enthusiastically as you exclaimed, “Let’s eat!”

“Silence!” The librarian – an old woman with dagger-like eyes – bellowed, glaring at you and Seungmin from behind the counter.

“Do you have to be so loud?” Seungmin whispered, peering over at the librarian in case she was still looking.

“Oh, relax,” you shrugged, giggling at his worried expression, before getting up and stretching your joints out. “Let’s go!”

He huffed, grabbing the books he had yet to read in his hand as you carried the others to put away. He quickly scanned the books before catching up with you as you waited by the exit.

You took him to a fast food place you had spotted on your way to the library. After buying your food, you managed to grab a table in the corner, settling down in the booth. You started sipping on your smoothie, the drink refreshing you perfectly.

“This may just be pixels,” Seungmin started, “but, damn, this tastes wicked.” You laughed at his blissful expression as he breathed in the food, barely taking time to enjoy it properly.

You stole some chips from his plate, grinning when he huffed and complained, “you have your own food, why are you taking mine, you thief?”

“Food tastes better when it’s stolen,” you winked, taking another chip, but before you could bite it, Seungmin had grabbed your wrist, using all his strength to force your hand his way so he could eat the chip from your hand.

You pouted when he successfully managed to eat it, glumly picking up your own chips instead now.

“You’re right, it does taste better when stolen.”

“Holy shit, this looks badass,” Hyunjin gasped, holding yet another sword. His hand smoothed over the blade, index finger tracing over the letters engraved onto it.

“That’s what you said about the last sword,” Seungmin groaned, rolling his eyes at Hyunjin’s fascination, “Can you actually help us out now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hyunjin mumbled, messing around with the sword in a few random poses before he hung it on another display rack, finishing off the sword collection. The five of you had been tidying up the hideout this week, alternating between missions to get enough money for resources to revamp the place.

“Another win!” Felix cheered just as Jisung hit his head against the game machine, “Pay up, sucker.” Felix held his hand out just as Jisung opened up his inventory, giving Felix one of his prized weapons.

“I’m pretty sure you cheated,” he grumbled, sniffing as he reluctantly sent the dagger to Felix whose Viewer lit up with a notification.

“I told you not to play against him,” you said to Jisung, having finished repainting the last wall with Seungmin. “He’s obsessed with the game and you thought you could beat him?”

“Stop judging me,” Jisung glared at you as you laughed, joining Felix who was admiring his newly-received prize.

The three of you joined Seungmin and Hyunjin on the sofas, relaxing after having spent the whole morning re-painting the walls and unboxing weapons you had gathered on your adventures. Hyunjin and Felix had found a secret basement filled with different decorations and paints, so you all decided to re-paint the walls and spray paint over it, personalising the hideout to suit you all.

The training area had been the worst to reconstruct, and you even took the weapons already there to a blacksmith. Hyunjin had read up on the weapons and there were a couple of rare, enhanced swords and shields hidden here. You had taken a particular liking to the magical books that were in the basement, practising the different techniques and spells written in there. There was a handwritten book thrown on the floor of the training area, with more powerful spells and enchantments that you had been practising, although they were incredibly hard to control and energy-consuming.

Over the months, you all had been training in different areas, like your lives depended on it – and they did. Where you were training in the magical arts and had gotten to level 103, Felix had become more agile and stealthy, choosing to become an assassin-like character, learning hand-to-hand combat and how to wield a dagger and gun, rising to level 95. You had watched him practice for so long, pouring blood, sweat and tears into perfecting his martial arts; you couldn’t help but admire how much he excelled at this, even helping yourself and the other boys when he could, so you could all spar together.

Hyunjin had chosen to be more long range, polishing his archery and sniping skills to become a level 97. You always made sure he ate properly – he had a tendency to spend hours training his precision and looking through small scopes, so whenever you spoke to him, his eyes would look exhausted from squinting so much.

Their training was always intense and much harder to level up when they were constantly fighting and draining energy. You practised your healing skills on them: when they would fight, you would see how long it took you to heal them both a considerable amount; you also taught them small healing spells in case you weren’t ever around and they needed to fix themselves up. You had also read about lots of different potions, experimentally brewing one for Hyunjin to lessen the strain on his eyes. Despite several failed attempts at the start, you learned a lot more about different ingredients and how to use them to their full potential.

Jisung and Seungmin had become typical fighters, but Jisung was more of a paladin, strengthening his defence, so, when the time came, he could take on heavy attacks without losing health drastically; Jisung was a level 110 and Seungmin a level 113. Jisung and Seungmin would always push you three to fight against them, so they could become quick to defend themselves against attacks from all distances and angles. Despite the severity of your situation, you all enjoyed the fights that ensued, training together had not only made your characters stronger, but brought your group together, like a tight-knit family of teens.

“Race you to the river!” Felix exclaimed, taking off as soon as you all arrived at the park. Jisung and Hyunjin dashed after him, dropping the baskets and footballs they were holding. The sun was starting to set, casting an ethereal orange glow on the water and fields below.

“Why did we get stuck with these idiots?” Seungmin grumbled, laying out a mat where they had dropped everything, before flopping down on the ground. “Seriously, I feel like their dad looking after them.”

You were just about to taunt him further when you heard Hyunjin yell out, “It’s every man for himself!”

You and Seungmin both turned to see the three of them sprinting away from police guards and you simultaneously sighed. You slumped to the ground besides Seungmin, turning to him. “I feel like their parent too.”

You were staring up at the sky, unaware of Seungmin’s eyes widening – the sun wasn’t the only thing painting his cheeks pink.

He sat up, and your gaze followed, before he tugged you up by your wrist. “Let’s go.”

“Go where, exactly?” you questioned, standing up after him regardless.

“Away.”

He stored everything in his inventory before whisking you away to the river. You had no clue where Hyunjin, Jisung and Felix were, but your mind paid them no heed anyways.

The two of you followed the river downtown, talking about everything and nothing. You couldn’t help but notice how Seungmin was still holding your hand. He had let go when he opened his inventory up, taking out some food for you both to snack on, but he held on again as soon as you had taken the food. This single connection had you riled up, your body fluttering at the warmth his hand exuded. You listened to him as he hummed a song to fill the lull in your conversation. You loved hearing him sing – he would do it in the underground home whenever he thought he was alone, and you could never stop yourself from listening in, hanging on to each word he sang.

“Do you ever think about home?”

His sudden question broke you out of your trance, and you let out a small, “huh?”

He repeated his question and you pursed your lips, so many thoughts taking over your mind. You thought back to your family, your real home, and how life would have been much different had you not logged in. You couldn’t imagine what your family must be going through – you often wondered how they were coping with this ordeal. Were they still worrying about you, or had they lost hope? Would they welcome you with open arms if you ever came back?

“Yeah,” you murmured, “it’s a scary thought, though. Everything’s going to feel so weird if we ever manage to get back.”

“When,” he emphasised, and you furrowed your brows, confused. “Not ‘if we get back’, but ‘when’.” He grinned after that, smiling cheekily as he added on, “Have a little faith in me, y/n.”

“You’re my hero, Squirtle,” you quipped, rolling your eyes as his smile grew.

“C’mon, let’s get ice cream!”

As soon as you entered the hideout, you heard Felix exclaim, “They’re finally back!”

When you walked to where they were, Hyunjin grumbled, “So you’ve finally decided to join us?”

“Ignore him,” Jisung said, nudging Hyunjin, “He’s still salty because the policeman managed to tackle him.”

“I tripped first!”

“Anyways,” Jisung exaggerated, clasping his hands, “how was your date?”

“What date?” Seungmin asked.

“Don’t think we haven’t noticed your hands, Minnie,” Felix commented, and Seungmin broke the hand-hold, quickly holding onto his other hand.

“Oh, shut up,” Seungmin grumbled, leaving the room. “I’m going to sleep, good night.”

Once he had left, all 3 boys turned to you, smirks galore and eyebrows dancing in mischief.

“Screw you all,” you mumbled, going to your room, and they burst out laughing at your annoyed face.

Your group had become very well known in Another World, noticeably due to you being able to defeat the first two bosses within 6 months of the game. It had been a gruelling 6 months, training every day and doing harder missions to get enough money to stay alive. You had even named yourselves ‘I am NOT’, people spray painting your title as a semblance of hope and faith that you could break the game and escape. People still had no idea of your hideout and you were glad; although you were a beacon of hope, there were twisted groups that fed off of the control the game gave them, and a group of youngsters that were close to defeating the final boss was the exact opposite of what they wanted. You had gotten into many fights, never intentionally taking another life – it was a rule you had all agreed upon: do enough damage to end a fight not a life.

The whereabouts of the bosses were all given through riddles; the first riddle being revealed to all the players a week into being trapped in the game. After that, Jinyoung had announced that the next riddle would only appear to whoever defeated the boss, at the end of the fight. The riddle that appeared to you was:

I never thought you’d get this far

But the final clue for you is STAR.

Your progress has disrupted my game

Let’s see if you can fulfil my aim.

The five of you had been wracking your brains for the answer to this, nothing worthwhile coming out of it. You had checked out observatories, staking out overnight in case the boss would only appear at night. You had travelled far and wide, but all your leads led to dead ends.

The five of you had just returned from sneaking into a place called STAR labs. Although you had already checked this place out, this was your first time going at night, altogether, although nothing fruitful happened aside from Felix falling asleep and knocking a glass down, tripping the silent alarm. You all made a hasty getaway from security, barely managing to lose them since the streets were so empty. You abandoned the car you had driven in, running back to your house in the shadows, not leaving a trace of you guys behind.

“Another failure,” Jisung mumbled, faceplanting onto the sofa.

“You’re a failure,” Felix grumbled after him, falling right on top of him.

“Another day, another beautiful car gone,” Hyunjin joked, lighting up the mood.

Seungmin made his way over to the fridge just as Hyunjin pulled Jisung and Felix into upright positions. You sat on the second sofa, easily catching the water bottle Seungmin threw to you.

Seungmin sat beside you, leaning his head on your shoulder, huffing out as he shut his eyes. The other boys broke out of their misery to turn to you, eyes winking non-stop and hands fanning their faces to mock you.

“Y/n, are you perhaps…” Felix started, a teasing smirk on his face, “blushing?”

“Of course not,” you whispered harshly, flicking the bottle’s cap at him. He dodged it easily, raising his eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at him, vision landing on Jisung who had cupped his hands into a heart with you and Seungmin in the middle.

“Stop it!” you said, quickly looking at Seungmin, as you kept your voice down to not wake him up.

“Why?” Now it was Hyunjin’s turn to fool around, “We all know you,” and then he made a heart with his hand, “him.”

Even though they weren’t wrong, you couldn’t help but tell them to stop, fearing Seungmin might wake up. During the long time you had spent stuck in this game, you had gotten considerably closer to the boy. You couldn’t help but appreciate everything he had done for you four, always thinking back to the first day you arrived – he could have easily left you there to fend for yourselves, but he helped you out and even let you stay with him in your current home. You had all gotten much closer now, literally trusting one another with your lives, and you couldn’t be any happier with the four boys you call your best friends.

What surprised you the most was how Hyunjin, Jisung and Felix had managed to figure out your (small) crush on Seungmin; you knew they liked teasing you about liking him, but you never thought much of it until one day when Hyunjin and Felix pushed Jisung towards you – he dragged you off to another room and tried getting you to speak about Seungmin, but, of course, you tried brushing everything off, feigning ignorance. He hadn’t believed in your, “oh, it’s nothing, we’re just friends,” comments, but he had decided not to pester any longer. You wondered if Seungmin knew too, then, if you were this obvious – just thinking about him possibly returning your feelings made your mind go crazy.

“Where else do we have to explore?” you asked, changing the subject before taking a large gulp of your water.

Hyunjin looked over the large paper spread over the table, crossing out ‘Star Labs, night’. “Nowhere else, the labs were the last place.”

“Ugh, guys, there are more rats,” Felix groaned, leaning his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“Where?” Seungmin asked, suddenly awake. All of you turned to him, wide-eyed; had he been awake this whole time? Had he heard your conversation?

Felix pointed to the arcade games and Seungmin went there, sword in hand, looking for the creatures.

“Hyunjin and I went around sealing all the holes just yesterday,” Jisung whined, “How the hell do they get through so quickly?”

The rats had only been adding to your stress over the final boss fight. You took a closer look at where Seungmin had scribbled down the riddle.

“We disrupted his game…” you mumbled, biting your lip as you thought of what that meant.

“These stupid rats are disrupting my sleep!” Felix complained, hearing the clatter of Seungmin’s sword against the ground.

“Felix, that’s it!” you exclaimed, finally understanding the riddle. “The rats only came after we got the riddle, right?”

“Yeah, but they only come out… at night; shit, you’re a genius!” Hyunjin gasped.

You continued, “Exactly, they only come out when the stars are out, we were right about something happening at night. But that’s not all: star is an anagram for rats. There’s got to be a connection with the rats and the final boss.”

“Do we need to follow them or something?” Jisung asked, now interested, “Maybe where they come from is where the final fight is.”

“Uh, guys…” Seungmin called, and you all turned to look over at him. The rat he was going after was stationary in front of a game machine, his sword falling straight through it, yet it wasn’t disappearing in a cloud of pixels like it previously had. Instead, it looked like it was staring straight at you.

“I don’t think we have to go to the fight…” Hyunjin started.

“It’s already come to us.”

The five of you quickly escaped, just as more rats started pouring out of hidden crevices in the room. Jisung was the last to climb out, pulling the lid to the sewer over the hole.

“Wait, those rats have been there for so long,” Felix spoke, “how come they’re only coming out now?”

You and Hyunjin shrugged your shoulders, looking to Jisung who was just as clueless.

“Maybe he was waiting for us to figure it out,” Seungmin suggested. Just as he had said that, the small holes in the lid let through a sharp, bright white light with a blue glow. It travelled as far up as your eyes could see, alerting anyone who was still awake.

“What the hell is that?” Felix said, voice dripping in awe, as your heads all looked upwards at the never-ending light.

A massive crash sounding from your headquarters snapped you all out of your reveries. You all equipped yourselves with weapons, preparing for an attack.

You were right.

The fight had come to you but this was unlike the last two boss levels you had finished; it was like Armageddon and an apocalypse horrifically rolled into one. The cacophony had awakened hundreds of other players, so you weren’t fighting alone. Even then, the monsters that had crawled and broke through the ground were annihilating you all. You had deviated from the entrance to your hideout, the largest and strongest creature hot on your tail.

You couldn’t even make out its feature properly, not due to it being dark outside, but because it barely had features. All you could make out was a massive figure with black, ice-like shards covering its entire body and burning red eyes. That was all. Even its hands that you had seen shoot purple fireballs were made of shards.

Your bullets barely made a mark on it, scratching the surface before flying off. Yet Felix continued to waste his ammo, firing shot after shot as he ran forward; Hyunjin was also shooting arrows that you had enchanted to slow it down, but they were all crushed beneath its claws, disappearing in a cloud of pixels.

A dead-end.

You had done all that running, fighting, saving, to come face to face with a dead-end. You were so sure that this wall wasn’t here, you’d been through this place countless times and yet the bricks lain in front of you begged to differ. Your mind was clogged with so many different things, spells, maps, people, and yet it couldn’t focus on anything, thoughts jumbling into a giant mess screaming at you to do something, to do more. But what more could you do?

You didn’t know how long you had been fighting for. The whole game had changed ever since the chaos ensued: the sky was devoid of all stars and the moon, the streetlights only flickered a ghastly pale blue light and the roads had all changed, houses appearing where there should have been empty spaces, walls built where there once was a street.

“Shit, what do we do now?” Felix panted, bruised hands barely clinging onto his gun as he leaned back against the wall.

“Hell, if I know,” Hyunjin gasped, yelling in pain as you helped him sit down. There was a shard sticking out of his calf, and you used your dagger to cut his trousers so you could help him.

“Felix, shine a light, quickly,” you instructed, crouching in front of Hyunjin who threw his head back, jaw tensing as he bit back cries. Felix opened his Viewer, the screen shining a blue light onto Hyunjin’s leg. There were purple lines slithering out of the shard, beneath his skin, slowly spreading in every direction and you just knew that wasn’t good. You looked at his face, smeared with blood and bruises, tears brimming his eyes in defeat.

You steeled yourself, pulling out water from your inventory for him to drink and ease his nerves before you started. You used every spell you could, numbing his leg before you pulled the shard out, swiftly cleaning the wound before you healed it. The purple lines continued crawling upwards but his health started decreasing at a slower rate, possibly buying you time to do more. You and Felix quickly ate something too, before you heard more crashes, and then footsteps running near you.

Jisung and Seungmin had bought you guys time, diverting the monster’s attention from you three when Hyunjin got hit. When they got to you, Seungmin banged his fists on the wall, “This was never here, what the hell?”

“Are you okay?” Jisung asked Hyunjin, keeping an eye out for the beast.

Hyunjin managed a feint nod in reply, blinking away his tears.

You made sure Seungmin and Jisung ate something, their health bars dropping to 30. With the energy the food gave you, you healed their injuries, hands shaking as they glowed a pure white, clearing their skins of the battle scars.

“We’re fine now, y/n, thanks,” Seungmin murmured, holding your hand in his to stop you from healing him, “boost your own energy up, yeah?”

He handed you an energy sweet he had which you took graciously; you looked up at him, face littered with cuts and dried blood, eyes still shining hopefully, and you wondered how he didn’t feel defeated yet. His hand glowing caught your attention and you broke eye contact, staring at his hand that moved to your face and, as he swiped his thumb over your cheek, you felt a strange sensation on your face where a stinging cut once was. You lifted a finger to your cheek, feeling around for the cut, but were met with just your skin, nothing torn or bleeding.

“When did you learn that?” you asked, a small smile on your face when he kept his thumb there, running circles over your cheek.

“I pay more attention to you than you think,” he joked, pinching your cheek ever so slightly before dropping his hand once again.

Before you could continue you heard heavy thuds getting closer. You felt him grab your hand, squeezing your hand tightly to say ‘Be careful’, before he moved in front of you, now standing besides Jisung who had equipped himself with half of a massive shield, larger in height than the two boys combined. Seungmin equipped himself with the other half, and you stood next to Felix and Hyunjin, knowing what the boys were doing. They had timed it perfectly: the creature had sprinted at them, swinging his fist back before landing a solid punch, clashing with the two shields Jisung and Seungmin had fused together. It was a shield made of the strongest metal, by the finest blacksmith in the game, and you had added further enchantments to strengthen it.

You could see both boys skid back slightly, them leaning their whole bodies into the shield to hold it together more strongly to protect you three. Their eyes were scrunched together as they pushed back with all their might, taking on the second punch that was landed without a second to breathe. A third punch had them moving back even further and the fourth had the shield splitting into two once more. They both flew back, crumpling against the wall, shields clanging miserably against the ground.

You stood in front, lifting your hands to form a magical shield just as the creature delivered another blow; you could hear your shield wilt under the power, see more and more cracks dig their way into the surface, but you pushed back with all your might, hopefully buying the boys some time. The shield fell to pieces once the claws retracted and you used this as an opportunity to send some more magical attacks to it. You sent out purple laser beams that were supposed to be able to cut through anything, yet they only managed to break some shards that were headed your way. You saw bullets flying too, Felix standing beside you, guns at the ready. You followed by sending out explosive black orbs to its legs, but only the ground blew up, dust flying everywhere.

You couldn’t see it.

Not until it had soared past you, too late for another shield, too late to even scream out his name.

It was like you could hear the slicing sound it made as it tore him. Your vision only focussing on how he screamed in pain, hands rushing to where he was hit as though he could do something.

The beast disappeared after that. Gone, like the wind, a message appearing in front of you instead.

Better luck next time!

You could barely make out the letters, rushing to him and dropping to the ground. Your mouth couldn’t form any words, hands doing all the talking as they lit up, a futile attempt to save him.

“You’ll be fine,” you repeated like a mantra, but no matter how many times you said it, you all knew it was nothing but empty words.

“C’mon, bro, hang in there,” Hyunjin mumbled, crawling over and cradling his head in his palms.

Jisung crouched besides you, holding his hand tightly, whispering more words of encouragement so he stayed awake.

Felix sat next to Hyunjin, holding his other hand, eyes wide and screaming for help, mouth quivering in silent pleas.

Nothing was working; no spells were making the blood stop dripping down, no charms were stopping his health bar from diminishing.

15.

You watched as his eyes slowly shut, chest rising and falling with each painful breath.

Hyunjin was rushing through his words, saying he would never forget him – couldn’t ever forget him. Tears streaming down his face, Felix cried about how he was forever thankful, ever since that first day you all met him. Jisung was barely holding on, whimpering about how he looked up to him, admired him for being so courageous and helping you all out, never asking for anything in return.

7.

What did you have left to say?

The tears trickling down your face blurred your vision and you swiped at them furiously. “Fuck, Seungmin, that should’ve been me,” you sniffed.

Just saying his name hurt – this all seemed like a dream, a nightmare, a game. Yet nothing had felt more real. His nose scrunching was his way of disagreeing with you, yet that thought was all that plagued your mind. You should have been quicker, more alert, more careful.

5.

He used his last burst of energy to hold your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles before he pressed a soft kiss to it, the feel of his lips against your hand soothing you ever so slightly. He dropped your hand on his chest, barely lifting his other arm to click on his Viewer. You all looked at his screen, wondering what he was doing as he scrolled.

DRAFTED MESSAGES (1)

3.

He hit send.

2.

He was…

1.

Gone.

Hey, y/n, if you’re reading this then I’ve somehow gotten the courage to be the man I’m pretending to be in this game. So, either I’ve sent this just before we get to leave the game, or just before I, alone, leave the game. Hopefully the former. :)

I like you.

It’s a lot easier typing this message out, especially since I know you probably won’t ever see it (let’s face it, we both know I’m not the strong man inside that this character makes me out to be). With any luck, I’ll get the courage to say this to your face, but until then, I hope this will do. I like you a lot. It sounds really nice saying that, especially to you of all people, because you’re amazing.

We may have met in a game, but I hope we can continue to be great friends in school (if not more) because I’d hate to lose someone like you, and we make a great tag-team against those other losers. I had a great time getting to know you and, although we’re stuck in a game, I’m glad I got the chance to meet someone as great as you because you’ve changed me, a lot. I hope I live up to your expectations outside of the game too.

I feel like I rambled a lot, and this is probably very cheesy (please don’t show the other guys this, I would DIE), but I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.

Third time’s the charm, so here I go:

I really like you, y/n.

[spacednp]

Zombies

TW: gore, zombies(is that a trigger?), panic attack (kinda), shitty title

SUMMARY: whats the guidelines 4 dis lmao ima need to fix this later

ADDITIONAL NOTES: the ending is BAD

 the title sucks fuck off i knoww 

yo yo follow the people below (and me cough cough) bc.. Yeet

Beta- @callmekiddo-2 (thank for putting up with my constant grammar errors fam)

Artist- my bro,,, @owlpip (Art links gonna go here when i get them)

WC: 7.3k (really short i knowww)

The sound of rushing water filled the room and the steam from it rose into the air. Small bubbles occasionally flew from the sink, floating away gently, like a peaceful and soft dance. Dan’s hands were covered in suds and began to wrinkle because of the constant stream of hot water embracing them. Dan picked up the last plate and wiped it in a swift motion with his sponge, making a circle of soap that he quickly rinsed off. He set that final dish aside before washing off his own hands and turning the water off. He then grabbed the dish towel and set to work, drying off the dishes. He swabbed the clear droplets of now cold water from each dish, concentration etched onto his face. Once each dish was dried he rushed about the kitchen, putting them all away. He and his flatmate had only been living in that flat for a few weeks and he was still getting used to, well, everything. Due to this, he was sure he had put a few things away wrong. But hey, Phil had asked him to do the dishes, and he did. Kind of.

The padding of footsteps behind him made Dan jump, nearly dropping the rag in his hand. “Fucks sake, Phil,” Dan hissed, throwing his damp rag onto the counter behind him. He came very close to knocking over an unlit candle, “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Whoops,” Phil replied, crossing his arms in the doorway, a smile painted on his face. Dan loved Phil, they were best friends, after all, but Phil was probably the least empathetic person when it came to scaring people. He couldn’t care less. Every once in awhile dan would like to hear a, “Oh, I’m sorry, are you okay?” instead.

“You’re an ass,” Dan muttered, turning back to his abandoned rag to put it away.

“Pfft, you know love me,” Phil said. (what should i do here looks kinda lame)

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Dan responded, trying to not smile. Dan and Phil had been best friends for years, hell, they had pretty much grown up together. After being essentially joined at the hip for almost ten years, the boys were pretty much family. They even started going on family holidays together, calling each other’s mothers’ “Mum” the whole time just to spite the other. The two were as close to brothers as anyone could get without the matching birth certificates.

“Thanks for doing the dishes,” Phil said after a minute.

“No problem, but you’re sweeping tomorrow to repay your debt,” Dan countered.

“What? But it’s your turn,” Phil whined. Dan turned back to Phil and shrugged, the smile that had left Phil’s face set on his own.

“It was your turn to do the dishes,” he pointed out, smile widening.

“Fair enough,” Phil sighed, rolling his eyes a little. He didn’t really think it was fair as sweeping was much harder than washing a few plates, but he didn’t say anything. After all, Dan did have a point and it was Phil’s turn to do the dishes. Phil turned and began to walk away.

“You heading off to bed?” Dan called after him. Phil turned, smiling a little.

“What, you want a goodnight kiss?” Phil teased, laughing lightly at his own joke.

“I don’t, but about eighty percent of the internet would want me to,” Dan joked back, causing both to snicker. The shipping didn’t bother the two anymore. After years of thousands of people reading into their every move, it got kind of dull. Of course they made jokes about it, it came naturally after a while. It was apart of life for them, and everyone made jokes about their life. People made death jokes because it was a part of life, they made sex jokes because it was a part of life, and Dan and Phil made shipping jokes just like that because it was a part of their lives.

“See you in the morning, Danny,” Phil shouted over his shoulder as he walked to his bedroom. Phil never really called Dan by the nickname, unless he was in the teasing mood. Just as an older brother would tease the younger.

Dan looked to the clock to see that it read about midnight, which was the usual time for Phil to turn in for the night. As for Dan, he had a sort of reputation to uphold-stay up on the internet for a few more hours until the blinding light of his laptop screen made his eyes red. Sometimes Phil would join Dan and they’d sit on their couch and occasionally tap the other on the shoulder, pointing to their own screen when they found a post they thought would make the other smile. For whatever reason that made the whole experience way better for Dan. Maybe he liked Phil being there because they were best friends, maybe it was just the presence of another person being sat next to him, or perhaps a tangle of both. Dan wasn’t sure. Whatever it was, Dan enjoyed it very much.

Dan soon retreated into his bedroom as wasn’t comfortable with just standing in the kitchen alone. He unplugged his laptop, glad to see it at full battery, and sat down on his bed. In record time, Tumblr was pulled up and he was scrolling through impressive amounts of shitposts and the occasional problematic rant by some self-righteous teen. He only skimmed through the posts, reblogging the few that made him blow a bit more air out of his nose than usual. Years of being a “full time internet homo” had that effect on him, barely laughing, mostly just exhaling more intensely.

One post on his dash stood out to him. Usually he’d scroll through phanfiction, ignoring the ones that seemed badly written by some 12 year old girl in twenty minute. That seemed to be the majority. However, every once and awhile he’d find one so amusing or highly requested he had to read it. Hell, he even found a few really well written ones that almost could be published or poetry. Naturally, when Dan found something like that he just had to read it. In any case, fanfiction was just writing-sometimes bad or… inappropriate writing, but: writing. It was better than getting high or drunk, so Dan figured he might as well support it, even if there were a few bad and emotionally damaging seeds.

The room was almost pitch black. The only sources of light being Dan’s open Macbook and the light peeking in through Dan’s window with the drawn curtains, caused by the street lamps, head lights, stars and moon of the outside world. It made the whole situation seem way more scandalous than it really was. Of course Dan would clear his search history after reading, and of course he’d deny ever reading the fic, and of course he would die if Phil found out, but that didn’t make it scandalous. Okay, maybe it did, but that was only because Dan made it so scandalous, it could be totally innocent and Dan could be open with his dirty little secret. However, that seemed too easy. Dan didn’t get much excitement in his life, so why not act like the whole reading phanfiction thing was this whole secret that was done behind closed doors and drawn blinds in the dead of night? It wasn’t like he secretly got off to it or anything, it just- he was just curious. That was it.

Well Dan being just “curious” lasted all of five paragraphs into the story. Then, he started to enjoy it. He loved the word choice, the characters (even if he was one of main ones), and even the plot. The whole story was based off of the zombie apocalypse and what would happen. Now, since Dan was such a massive nerd, the story called to him. It was thousands of words long- double digit thousands. However, Dan didn’t mind it at all. In fact, that was another thing he liked about it. If he could ignore the fact that it was he and his best friend’s names’, he could actually picture it being a real young adult novel. The writing was excellent and the pace was just right, he could actually see the characters falling in love. Shamefully, he fell in love with the characters as well. He even caught himself wondering why his Phil wasn’t like the one in the fic. If that was his Phil, of course he could be in love with him, the way the shippers wanted. That hit really close for Dan. He loved Phil, of course he did, but as a brother. The Phil in the story, however, he was different. He was more empathetic without being suffocating, he was strong and still sweet. Dan could see the resemblance to his Phil- wait, what? Dan just ranted in his own head about how great this character was, how he could have a romantic relationship with him, and then compared him to his 100% platonic best friend. That had to be crossing a ton of friendship boundaries, even for he and Phil. They were friends. That was it. But maybe it didn’t have to be… No. That was how it was. Friendship, only friendship. Period.

Dan knew that phanfiction was doing weird things to his brain. He knew he should click out, unfollow the person who put it on his dash, delete his search history and never go back. He didn’t though, he should of, but he didn’t. God, how he should of.

Instead of doing what was right, Dan gave into the alluring temptation. That had to be some kind of a sin, right? Imagine Dan being damned to Hell because he didn’t click out of a phanfiction, that seemed to be a very Dan thing to do. Rather this was true or not, it didn’t prevent Dan from reading the fic, and enjoying it. His bloodshot eyes focused on the brightness of his laptop screen and the black words on it in front of him, the rest of the world a massive blur of grays and streaks of white light shining in. Dan continued to read until the whole world went dark around him and he slipped into the warm embrace of sleep.

Dan awoke in a bed that was not his own, a warm hand on his left arm shaking him. Not wanting to wake up just yet, Dan rolled over onto his right side, away from the hand. Doing so, he was met by a sharp pain in the arm he’d rolled over on, which was luckily his right and non dominant arm. He heard a familiar voice, but it seemed distant and echoey, almost like it was at the opposite end of a tunnel. A long, dark, warm tunnel… Dan found himself drifting back into unconsciousness but was pulled out of it by the calloused hand that was still gripping him whilst shaking. Dan decided because of the the sharp pain burning into his flesh and the constant shaking there was little to no chance of getting back to sleep. The pain confused him because it wasn’t the type of pain you got when you slept wrong, it felt as if it was more of a open wound that could quite possibly be infected. Not that it would even make sense to have a sleeping pain in his arm, as Dan both went to bed and woke up laying on his back. As well as the odd pain, the weight of Dan’s laptop was gone. Had Phil came into his room, found the laptop on Dan’s stomach, and put it away for him? Oh no, had Phil seen what was on the screen? Dan didn’t remember closing the tab.

“Dammit Dan! Don’t you quit on me now!” The voice suddenly came into focus, like a camera. Once fuzzy and blurry, then sharp and clear. He knew that voice, it seemed a little worn though, broken from yelling. It was Phil’s voice.

“M’up, I’m good,” Dan slurred, opening his unfocused eyes trying to sit up. Doing so, the pain intensified, burning so fiercely Dan fell back. “What the fuck?!” Dan shouted.

“You got stabbed, idiot, remember?” Phil said, setting a hand on Dan’s chest to keep him down. When the world came into focus around Dan, he saw that the Phil next to him was not Phil. Or at least it wasn’t his Phil. This Phil’s skin was far too tan, his face was smeared with dirt (or dry blood, but Dan hoped it was just dirt), and his hair was way too long, his roots showing way too much. Dan looked at his pained right arm, seeing a white rag knotted around his slightly larger and more muscular bicep that was stained crimson with what Dan knew was his blood.

“Stabbed? What?” Dan gasped, voice coming out breathy and strained. His breathing quickened and he tucked his hands into fists, ignoring the pain caused in his right arm, digging little crescent moons into his sweating palms. He tried to force himself upright but was held down by Phil’s hand, who was ridiculously strong, so much so it was discomforting.

“Dan, you need to calm down,” Phil sternly said. Dan threw his fists at Phil’s hand, which seemed to be crushing. He just wanted to be alone, wanted to wake up in his room to the sound of Phil- his Phil, waking up obnoxiously loud. He didn’t want to be in this strange place with this strange Phil like some strange phanfiction…wait a minute. Phil’s description, his actions, Dan being stabbed- this was just like that phanfiction he fell asleep reading. But that was impossible, and even the idea of it increased Dan’s panic. He opened his mouth to scream at the weird person who was kind of like Phil, yell at them to go away, bring him back to his home, to his Phil, but nothing came out. His tongue felt too big in his mouth and his saliva felt like thick, dry cotton. He just wanted to go home! He wanted to wake up in his bed, yell at his Phil for waking him up so early, catch his Phil eating his cereal- he wanted it to be a weird dream. How could it be a dream? Dan felt pain, that didn’t happen in dreams, did it? So it wasn’t a dream? Did it mean Dan could never go home?

“Daniel!” Phil’s hand pressed harder on Dan’s chest and somehow brought him back to reality, or whatever it was, kind of. “Breathe Dan, breathe.” Dan was heaving for breath, he tried to listen, tried to breathe, tried to do what Phil said, but it wasn’t working. Dan just wanted everything to stop, please just stop. After a few minutes of struggling for air Dan felt himself start to calm down, the shaking he wasn’t even aware of started to slow, breath came easier, until he was only crying, yet another thing he wasn’t aware he was doing. He wiped his now unclenched hands on his face, trying to rid it of tears. He felt stupid, like an idiot. He’d just cried, like a complete child.

“I’m good,” Dan breathed,  relaxing his head on the pillow under it. He went to bring his hands over his face to cover it but was brutally reminded of his injury in the form of a sting.

Dan had never been one to believe in the supernatural or even religion. He believed facts. Yes, a zombie apocalypse was theoretically possible. It was also something religious, to a sense. No, zombies didn’t carry around bibles and sit in pews on Sundays, that just sounded stupid. However, there was three main things religions tended to have. A higher power, the beginning of time being created in a ‘big bang’ sort of sense, sudden and with no explanation besides before mentioned higher power, and, of course, “The End”, or, in other terms, “The Apocalypse”. In a way, it made sense. Logically, life itself had to have a start. Therefore, it also had to have an end. Who’s to say life doesn’t have to follow the same rules it creates, a beginning and and end, birth and death? However, that theory didn’t explain why Dan was magically sucked into some post apocalyptic universe birthed from the brain of one of his fans. That didn’t make any sense. Dan wished he could make it make sense. When things made sense you weren’t scared of them, you could convince yourself it wasn’t dangerous. Dan didn’t have that luxury.

“I think I need some fresh air,” Dan announced, moving to sit up. He, of course, was blocked by Phil’s hand. It was really starting to get annoying, being pinned down. He felt trapped, caged in like an animal, a beast with no humanity. He felt like Phil didn’t trust him, then again, why should he? Dan wasn’t the person this Phil knew, and deep down he thought Phil would know that. Maybe Dan should just play his part, calm this man a bit. After all, why should both of them feel lost? From reading the phanfic he knew how sickingly codependent this universe’s Dan and Phil were, who was he to rip that apart? After all, Dan knew everything the other Dan knew. They acted quite alike - this universe’s Dan and the real Dan. It made sense, after all, this Dan was based on the real one.

“Good luck finding any,” Phil snorted. Dan had almost forgotten he had spoke, so lost in his own thoughts, trapped in the prison of his mind. Phil lifted his hand off of Dan’s chest and instead used it to help Dan stand, which was a difficult task. Soon Dan was upright and he and Phil were heading to the rotted door decorated with metal locks and deep scratch marks, which were pale in contrast to the dark finish of the door. As they walked Dan noticed the many weapons and cobwebs littering the walls of the cabin, he appreciated them, though he had no idea how to use them. Phil grabbed a machete off the wall, very worn and coated in a brown substance that Dan knew was dried blood. Dan hoped he wouldn’t have to see Phil use it.

No part of Dan protested when Phil walked him out, or when held the door for him, or even when Phil rested his hand on Dan’s lower back. He wished he would have, wished he could have made himself. The truth was that Dan didn’t mind. His stomach didn’t drop, his skin didn’t burn or tingle. If anything, Dan felt safe. Warm. Content. Like what was happening was just… right. Was that insane? None of it was right, he wasn’t where he was supposed to be-not by a long run. He was supposed to be home, in bed, eyes bloodshot from his bright laptop screen. He wasn’t though, and that wasn’t right. It would be nice if it was, it’d be nice if his own kind of paradise wasn’t standing there consumed in the feeling of a man he didn’t know, a man that wasn’t real.

When the two exited the shack Dan woke up in they were engulfed by a forest. Shrubs, moss, and mushrooms littered the floor and above the canopy of the trees were so thick you could only catch a sliver of blue when you angled your head right. It wasn’t what Dan expected at all. He expected a city in ruins, bloody human like creatures digging into the corpses of children. The air, however, was just as he expected it. Thick, hot, smelling of rotting flesh, far from the musky, cool breezes a forest should carry. Dan suddenly remembered why everything was the way it was. In the phanfiction Dan and Phil decided to take shelter away from civilization because the cities… they were just as you’d picture. Gray, covered in a thick layer of crimson blood, only populated by zombies or sick bastards that couldn’t care less about you and only wanted your supplies. Evil place, the world had become.

“Zombies aren’t even the problem anymore,” Phil said, as if he was reading Dan’s thoughts. “Hell, they weren’t even the problem to begin with. People were. People created it and let it out. People… People started this mess…” Phil’s voice trailed off meaningfully. Dan understood what Phil meant, thinking back to the phanfiction. The writer had a bit of a prologue before they wrote the story. It described the beginning of the end, in a sense. It was like most starts to fictional zombie apocalypses, new drug that’s not tested enough creates a sickness. That drug was somehow leaked into the water supply and the world got sick, however, a few were immune. The drug was fought by a mutation in the genes of certain people. That gene was the blue eyes gene, which Dan did carry. Blue eyes was a recessive trait that didn’t show in Dan because of the brown eyes trait (a dominant gene) he also acquired. Phil too had this the blue eyes trait but his did show. However, those infected were given the instinct of spreading the pathogen. The only way they could do so when someone carried the blue eyes trait was via injection of contaminated DNA. Basically, if you carried the blue eye trait you were fine to drink, but it could still get the illness if you got bitten.

In Dan’s peripheral vision he spotted movement. He grabbed at Phil for reasons he couldn’t explain nor did he want to try and understand. Phil seemed unphased by this and just shook Dan off. “I think there’s one,” Dan tried to explain, pointing to where he thought he saw movement. Dan swore he saw concern paint Phil’s features for a split second before it was gone, but it was probably nothing. This version of Phil wasn’t the one Dan knew so well, it was a variation of him, but it wasn’t him. This Phil was made up by some teen girl on her laptop at four in the morning, and Dan couldn’t forget that. No matter how real this Phil seemed, he wasn’t.

Dan didn’t have much more time to fuss over his weird feelings for his friend’s character in some story he was somehow a part of (wow his situation was complicated) because they were joined by a freak of nature. The creature burst from the undergrowth, running towards them with a slight limp, arms outstretched and fingers like the talons of an eagle. The creature was just as you’d imagine a zombie; It’s pale skin was almost green but still carried the gray tint of death. It’s features were hollowed out, reminding Dan of one of those before pictures on an eating disorder recovery story. It’s clothes were torn and blood soaked. Gashes covered it, skin peeling away to show bloody and rotting flesh. Around its mouth there was the trace of its last meal, dried blood and chunks of flesh that didn’t seem to be its own. It’s eyes no longer held the glimmer of life and carried dark bags under them, far worse than the eye bags you got after a few nights of restless sleep. Everything about it was horrible and made Dan do a little sick in his mouth. A scream lodged itself in his throat but stayed there.

Phil stepped into action immediately and Dan wished he could say he didn’t find it ridiculously hot. The way he pushed Dan behind him and raised his machete up made Dan audibly gasp. If he hadn’t been so terrified out of his wits he’d consider it a turn on, which was concerning because this was Phil, Dan’s no homo best friend and roommate. Well, maybe it wasn’t Phil Phil, but still. The zombie ran faster and just when Dan was certain they were dead and Phil had no idea what he was doing, Phil surprised him. He stepped forward (towards the terrifying monster, Dan might add) with his left foot, and used all his strength and sung as he stepped, slicing the zombies head off. The body collapsed and the decapitated head rolled away. Dan was certain he was going to actually vomit.

“You’re bloody insane,” Dan breathed, staring at the open eyes and mouth of the head on the ground a few feet away from him. He felt like it was looking into his soul, and it was terrifying.

“You’re welcome, for you know, saving your life,” Phil said, turning to Dan and glaring at him.

“You’re an arse,” Dan spat, angry at Phil and not really knowing why. He had a point, without him Dan would be zombie food. He should be grateful, so why was he angry?

“Excuse me?” Phil’s eyebrows furthered and it seemed like venom laced his words. “You know what? I don’t even care!” Phil let out a dry and humorless laugh. “You know what the funny thing is? For a minute there, I thought you gave a half of shit about me, looks like I thought wrong, you don’t care about anyone. Not even yourself.” Phil growled, pushing his way past Dans and making his way to the shack.

Dan remembered why this was happening. Why he was angry, why Phil seemed like someone shoved a stick in his butt. In the fic, Dan threw himself in danger, went off without Dan and ended up getting hurt, Phil ended up saving him from getting eaten/infected, but still, a few heated words were shared. Before this, they had a bit of a, well, they slept together. Dan knew from the fic that Phil was felt that made the two more than friends, but the fic Dan didn’t think so. The fic Dan didn’t mean to hurt fic Phil he just didn’t think one night changed anything whereas fic Phil thought it meant everything. The whole thing was a mess and Dan was stuck in the middle of it, it was like if The Walking Dead was a gay soap opera. Shaun of the Dead meets General Hospital meets… gay. As for Dan, “not caring about himself” was probablybecause of when Dan got hurt, he wasn’t careful and overall it was like he didn’t care anymore.

Dan was lost in an ocean of thoughts and of course he was so deep that there were sharks. His senses failed him, he didn’t hear the shuffling of footsteps, couldn’t see what was coming as it was behind him, nor did he smell the putrid stench of rotten flesh and despair nearing him. No, all those senses failed him. However, one did not. The final sense, the one that paints a soft blanket or your lover’s hand, was the one that told him. The boney hand lacking any fat and only covered with a thin layer of peeling skin was what told Dan that he wasn’t alone. It pulled Dan back with remarkable strength for a creature with deteriorating muscles. Maybe a scream found its way through Dan’s mouth, maybe it didn’t. Perhaps it stayed lodged in Dan through, glued there by pure terror. Either way, Dan was pulled back and somehow managed to get himself turned around so he was face to face with husking skin and yellow, sharp teeth. It’s breath smelt of rotting teeth and metallic blood. Dan’s whole body was shaking and he could feel death nearing. He imagined a grim reaper lurking in the bushes near by, scythe in hand and dark cloak on its back.

The world was in slow motion, Dan felt every millisecond pass and felt like he could write an entire novel of each passing moment. Dan watched as its yellow teeth neared him, felt his heart beating out of his chest and shut his eyes tight, waiting for death. Dan wondered if this was the way out of the nightmare he had someone gotten himself in. He had heard of death being the one sure fire way out of any dream, maybe it was the same kind of thing. Maybe he would finally wake up in his own bed. Maybe he would finally be able to go hug his own Phil. Dan doubted he would sleep alone in his bed for weeks after this whole ideal, he’d just sleep with Phil. They used to do that all the time, it was just comforting. Dan was sure Phil wouldn’t mind, why would he? He always enjoyed it just as much as Dan did.

There was a swoosh sound in Dan’s ear and then he felt chunks of something splatter all over him. The grip that once help extra tight on his already hurt arm weakened and then slid off. A violent shudder ran through Dan’s body. He opened his eyes and felt tears run down his cheeks. Phil stood behind the limp body of the zombie that had previously been three seconds away from killing Dan. It didn’t even matter that it wasn’t Dan’s Phil, the real Phil. It didn’t even matter that this whole thing was probably some kind of odd hallucination. None of that mattered, because his eyes were Phil’s eyes and if Dan focused hard enough he could pretend this man in front of him was the same Phil he watched from behind a computer screen as a teenager, the one that ended up being his first and only best friend. So, Dan wrapped his arms tight around Phil’s neck and he cried, but he only cried harder when Phil didn’t smell the same as he should have and when he felt way too broad to be his Phil. Still, Phil dropped his weapon and held Dan close and at least that was comforting. This Phil still wrapped his arms tight around Dan’s waist and let him cry on him. Even if this wasn’t the real Phil, he still shushed Dan and rubbed his lower back and didn’t care that Dan was getting tears and snot all over his shoulder.

“I hate this place,” Dan sobbed, and he didn’t care that Phil wouldn’t know the truth behind his words. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be held and told ‘I know, I know,’ even if it wasn’t true. Even if it was all a lie, it was the only lie Dan would let himself believe, just for now, just until he felt a little better. They were both covered in dirt and blood, but that was okay. It was okay that Dan’s wound opened back up, it was okay that he almost died twice within an hour, it was okay that this Phil was in love with not this Dan but a different one, that was all okay.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?” Phil suggested, slowing the circles that he was rubbing on Dan’s back. Dan nodded into Phil’s shoulder and let Phil pull away and guide Dan inside. Phil sat Dan down on the bed. “I’ve gotta go get my machete, okay? I’ll be right back,” Dan nodded even though Phil was no longer looking at him and was already halfway out the door.

Dan’s heart felt sad. It was like a huge cloud of sad decided to park above his rib cage and just sit there. It was like the days when Dan would just wake up sad. Dan wasn’t depressed or anything, sometimes he just had sad days, and that’s okay. However those days he didn’t have any reason to be sad, but today he had all the reasons to be sad. He missed Phil, his Phil. He wanted to hug him, not this store brand version of him.

“Do you need another hug?” Phil asked, frowning above Dan. Dan didn’t even realize he was back.

“Yes, I need a thousand hugs,” Dan breathed. Phil smiled sadly and sat next to Dan, wrapping an arm around his waist. A few minutes passed before Phil spoke.

“You don’t feel the same way about me as I feel about you, and that’s okay,” Phil paused for a minute and moved Dan over a bit so he had more room to sit. “However, I don’t want you to lie and say you do, I can’t handle that. I’m in love with you, and you’re not in love with me, that’s okay, but please don’t lie to m-”

Dan didn’t know why he did it. But he did it. He cut Phil off by sitting on his lap and forcing their mouths together. He didn’t let Phil pull away or object; when he felt like Phil would try and stop him he kissed harder. He did that until Phil set his hands on Dan’s sides and kissed him back. The kiss tasted dirty and wrong and it made Dan’s heart sad even more, but he still did it. Even after they pulled away and caught their breath, Dan’s heart was sad. So, he kissed Phil again. He knew it was wrong and he was just using Phil, but he didn’t stop. He could tell Phil wanted him, he could tell he loved him, and that felt nice. Dan liked to be wanted and loved. He let Phil’s hands learn their way around his body and he forced his brain and heart away and just acted. He traced his hands all over Phil. He let Phil take off his clothes and he took Phil’s off as well, and he let the thing that started the first argument happen again. He let Phil think Dan felt the same way for him, but one dark truth lurked. This Phil was in love with his Dan and Dan was in love with his Phil. Dan didn’t want to believe it but he knew it was true. He wanted this, but not with this Phil.

The only way Dan could cope with his new realization was to block it out. He let fic Phil have whatever part of Dan he wanted and Dan pretended he loved this man. Because the two Phil’s were completely different people, it only got hard when fic Phil did something that reminded Dan of his Phil. That’s when Dan’s heart would get sad again. Dan would block that out too though, and soon Dan hated himself. He hated how naturally deceiving Phil came to him. He hated how no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t bring himself to look fic Phil in the eye because those eyes reminded him of the real Phil. Slowly self hatred and destruction became a habit. Even though the world was full of actual zombies plagued with a cell destroying disease, Dan still felt that the sick monster was himself. Fic Phil still took care of Dan and saved his life almost daily but sometimes Dan wished he wouldn’t. Maybe if Phil was a little late one time then Dan wouldn’t have to be the one to break his heart, it would just be cruel Mother Nature and another case of star crossed lovers.

Well naturally the one wish that did come true during that whole ordeal was the one involving Dan’s own death. Of course. It wouldn’t of made sense for it to be Dan wanting to wake up or not having one useless arm that always hurt and the second he moved it would begin squirting blood, no, that was just too nice of whatever cruel higher power put Dan in that mess. That angsty God just wanted more drama.

It happened when Dan left the wood rotted shack for a little time away from the mess he’d weaved himself in with Phil. Phil ran up and gave Dan a kiss on the forehead before he left and Dan felt he was going to be sick. Still, he smiled at the gesture and gave Phil a peck on the lips and a muttered “I love you”, still holding back his sick. He’d never really been one for mega sappy relationships and it didn’t make it easier that this whole relationship was lacking any love from his part. He wish he meant the “I love you”, but he felt nothing as he said it, only longing for someone who had aspects of this man but who wasn’t him. Dan quickly got out of that hell house of a shack and walked a bit deeper into the forest than he should have. He stood on the ledge that overlooked a gray city and a lake that looked to be covered in a thick layer of dust. He watched creatures that weren’t quite human limp about and tear apart corpses of what might of been a person that might of had a family. Then again, maybe they were the last one of the family and they wished death upon themselves like Dan did. Even if life beyond this wasn’t life at all, even if he didn’t wake up in his own world with his own Phil, maybe that was okay, at least then he wouldn’t have to lie to anyone. No matter what happened after this, Dan never wanted to lie again. Lying was too much for Dan to handle and it was tearing him apart.

Dan had a bit of Déjà vu when he felt the boney hand grab him, digging into his upper arm. He felt it began to bleed but he did nothing, not even scream. Then it dug into his other arm, the healthy one. That one started to bleed too. He felt crimson liquid drip down his body but he did nothing but shut his eyes and wait for the teeth. They snuck into the part between his neck and shoulders, they ripped through tendons and ligaments. They crunched nerves and punctured veins. Then they were ripped from him and took the chunk of flesh with them. The hands digging into his arms also pulled out of him. He heard familiar slicing and he felt his knees give out, he opened his eyes when he felt arms around him. He swore he was going to be sick. It was Phil, and as always, he saved him. Well, not really. Dan looked at him with glassy eyes and smiled sadly. He felt his resolve fading and he slipped into insanity and sickness.

“Do it,” he croaked. Tears covered Phil’s cheeks and it made Dan ache. Even if he didn’t love this Phil, his eyes were still the same three-colored ones of his flat mate and best friend, and those eyes should never cry. Dan wanted to dry his tears but he couldn’t move his arms, they were in too much pain.

“I can’t,” Phil managed, voice breaking. “I just can’t do it.”

“Please, Phil, it hurts,” Dan said, voice dripping with pain. It was like the worst flu ever mixed with open wounds and bleeding out. Phil nodded once and returned Dan’s sad smile. He got his machete and laid Dan down comfortably on a soft patch of grass.

“I love you,” Phil told Dan as he raised his weapon. He was determined to do it quickly and in one even swipe, that would make Dan suffer less, and that’s all he wanted at this point.

“I love you too,” Dan lied. Or maybe he didn’t. Of course he was grateful for this man, he had saved Dan’s life a few times, but did that equal love? Probably not. Still, Dan wanted the last words Phil heard from him to be that he loved him, even if it was a lie. He needed that, so he would give it to him.

Phil raised his machete and one minute Dan felt all his pain, then for a split second he felt incredibly sharp pain in his neck, and then he felt nothing. For a moment there was black, nothingness, but then Dan was opening his eyes in his room, in London. He felt the familiar weight of his laptop on his lap and he didn’t feel any pain. Dan sighed in relief. He got up to go find Phil, needing him right that moment.

The smell of coffee and the clinking of dishes lead Dan to believe Phil was in the kitchen. As he walked into said kitchen he was aware that his suspicions were indeed correct. Phil stood next the a counter in his pjs, stirring a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, Danny Boy,” Phil said when he saw Dan walk in. He took a minute to go back to making his coffee but then he continued the one-sided conversation. “I read last night that more people are killed by donkeys than plane crashes, isn’t that cool?”

Dan was so happy that Phil said it. It meant it was the real Phil, the Phil that he met in Manchester on the train station so long ago. This was Phil. His Phil. Dan had so many emotions that he didn’t know what to do with them, so he cried. He just burst into sobs right there, a few feet from Phil.

“Dan are you okay? Did a family member of yours get killed by a donkey? Did I just bring back traumatic repressed memories from your childhood?” Phil rambled, and Dan just cried harder. “Can I do anything to make it better?”

Dan nodded once. “Hugs, please,” he requested. Phil nodded and abandoned his coffee to wrap Dan up in his arms. Dan cried harder, happy tears, because this was the Phil he knew. He smelled like coffee, liquorice, and apples. He smelt like Phil. His arms wrapped tightly around Dan’s back and made him feel safe. He felt like he could say anything and it would be perfectly okay, so he said the one thing on his mind. “I love you,”

Phil didn’t say anything back for a long few seconds. It stretched out like an eternity, but he didn’t lessen his grip on Dan and Dan was beyond grateful for that. Only sound in the room was their breathing and Dan was nervous about how heavy his was compared to Phil’s, who kept his composure too well for Dan’s liking. Dan expected Phil to reject him or something. Phil didn’t say anything. It seemed like eons of waiting for something-anything. Finally, Phil responded.

“I love you too,” and Dan’s heart stop and he started over analyzing. Of course Phil loved him, as a friend. Friends say ‘I love you’, right? Was it just he and Phil that never said it? Or maybe they did, Dan’s mind was too fuzzy to recall. Well, there’s really only one way to find out how Phil meant it. Dan somehow managed to loosen Phil’s grip on him enough to push their mouths together. Phil didn’t retaliate for a few seconds and Dan thought he was going to die of embarrassment and waited for Phil to again, do something.

Phil did do something. Dan felt the pressure being returned and he actually thought he was literally going to die. He didn’t though and when they had to pull away to breathe Phil hugged him tighter and Dan was glad that Phil’s breathing was just as heavy as his. As happy as he was, Dan was still kind of worried for the Phil in the phanfiction. What happened to him? When Phil finally let Dan go and Dan looked into his eyes Dan felt guilty again.

“I’ll be right back,” Dan breathed, as if he was scared that if he was too loud what just happened with he and Phil would shatter. Phil didn’t say anything but looked concerned.

Dan hurried back to his room and quickly read the end of the fic and almost threw his laptop across the room. The last line was:

“After Dan and Phil shared their kiss Dan rushed back to see the ending of the story he was trapped in, wanting to know the ending.”

And then it ended. Just like that, an open ending. Everyone hates those and yet authors keep writing them. Over and over again.

The end.

[theclacks]

Buffy (Season 4) & Angel (Season 1) Thoughts

Whoo, so watching two seasons at once makes a giant dent in my viewing speed, but it’s kind of awesome. The “new series” rush I had in season two is mostly gone I think, replaced with a steady comfortability, which is good, because whenever a series is short enough that I reach its end/catch up before the rush fades, then I feel incredibly listless.

Anyway. Thoughts below the cut.

Buffy - Season 4

On how it compares to other seasons...

So season 2 is still my all time favorite. I think season 4 is tied with season 3 for me on like-ability. I think season 3 was strongest toward its end and season 4 was strongest towards its middle (hello, Spike pseudo-redemption arc). I think killing Professor Walsh as early as they did was a mistake; she and Buffy had a great antagonistic relationship. The greatness of season 2 was the relationship between the heroes and the villains, especially once Angel turned darkside. My biggest problem with the mayor was that he and Buffy never met until the very end of the season and that’s kind of my same issue here. They traded out an AWESOME antagonist (works for “good” like Buffy, but sees her as a uncontrollable threat! there’s some age/generation issues going on, defined career woman vs unranked youngster! science vs magic and prophecy! they used to hold each other in high esteem but now don’t!)... for, well, Adam. Who was very season one-ish in terms of flat personality and “I SHALL RULE THE WORLD MWAHAHA.”

On Oz leaving + Tara entering...

I read an interview/comment part way through that said Joss’s original plan was to string the Oz/girl!werewolf/Willow drama over the whole season, but then Seth Green nope’d it out of there and thank fucking god. I hated girl!werewolf. I don’t even remember her name and I’m fine with that.

I loved the introduction of Tara. I loved the episode where Oz came back (although I spent the whole episode fearing for his life) and Willow came out to her friends and Tara expecting Willow to leave her and asking if they could still be friends and I WAS CRYING DURING THAT SCENE. I HAVE NO SHAME. I think it was first scene in Buffy I cried at. Willow and Tara’s actresses just knocked it out of the park.

Also, it was weird for me since all I’ve ever heard from people about Willow is that they retcon’ed her sexuality into being a lesbian, and... unless something changes in the future, that’s totally not the case because she’s obviously bisexual. Like mentions loving Oz AND loving Tara in the same episode? And if talking about retconning her into being bisexual, umm... that shit doesn’t need foreshadowing... unless people are talking about something that happens in a later season with Willow saying straight out she doesn’t like men... and you know what? I’ll just see it when I get there.

On Riley...

He’s okay. Like, just, okay. I liked the episode where he told Buffy not to hold back during sparing, she kicked him across the room, and he’s like “it’s okay, i told you not to hold back”, and later she confesses (to Willow?) “.......I held back.”

IDK. I didn’t like the episode where the frat house sucks them into being a kind of sex battery thing... well, I liked the Xander, Willow, Anya, and Spike parts, but yeah.

On Spike...

I think the weirdest character development thing was him hooking up with Harmony. I mean, really? BUT it was awesome seeing Harmony eventually kick him to the curb, so there’s that. I got spoiled for the headchip thing, but I didn’t know it was coming this season, and his conversation with Willow immediately discovering his “impotence” was one of the best things ever. Oh, and “Something Blue” I didn’t know that episode was going to be a thing and it was AWESOME. I also liked how he didn’t immediately turn good and was mostly an annoying hinderance to the main characters; that fit him much better than a straight heel-face turn.

On college vs high school...

It’s weird. I have more nostalgia for college than high school, so I really enjoyed the first few college eps. Like, the way I’ve seen people talk about their love for the high school era of Buffy... I think that was me during this season. (People who used to hang outside the student union delivering flyers for whatever, I MISS YOU.) I did like the episode where they revisited the high school’s ruins. That was a nice touch. And I like Faith a lot better this season, especially when she realizes it’s been months and months since graduation. (Oh, and speaking of the Faith/Buffy bodyswitch episode, their actress did such a good job.)

On Giles...

Nothing too much to report. I do think more than any of the other characters, he’s lost his groove. Hopefully he’ll re-find it in season five.

But enough about Buffy, it’s time to discuss...

Angel - Season 1

General thoughts

OH MY GOD. I think I actually ended up enjoying Angel more than Buffy for these two seasons. I thought it was going to be something I’d slowly have to sit through episode after episode until I grew to like and then LO AND BEHOLD Charisma Carpenter’s name popped up in the credits. And suddenly Angel went from “Angel interacts with random LA strangers I don’t know” in my head to “OH MY GOD CORDELIA IS IN LA BEING BROS WITH ANGEL AND FIGHTING DEMONS AND SHIT.” And it’s been awesome since.

On Doyle and Wesley (and Cordelia)...

I was not expecting them to switch season mains halfway through, and although I’m still sad that Doyle left the show so early, I’m kind of cool with it because it meant Cordelia getting his visions. And honestly, if you’d told me after the first episode of Buffy that Cordelia Chase was eventually going to become bros with Angel in LA and with god-given vision superpowers and a ghost as a roommates, I’d... well, I don’t know what I would’ve thought, but it definitely would’ve spoiled the wild, amazing journey. Of course, Cordelia was already my favorite character about four episodes into watching Buffy, so... yeah.

One of my lesser favorite parts of season three was having Cordelia vanish for a whole bunch of episodes after her breakup with Xander, so seeing her rise like this and be a central character and have AMAZING heart-to-heart conversations with Angel... like, Buffy and Angel have their super love but at this point I feel like Cordelia and Angel are stronger friends? Like they treat each other as brother and sister and it is the best damn thing ever.

Also along that line, the reintroduction of Wesley was great. Probably the best replacement they could’ve gotten for Doyle. It really strengthened the team, especially for the Faith episodes since she was someone they ALL had history with. And since the Cordelia/Wesley UST got resolved in the final season 3 buffy episodes, his friendship with cordelia was awesome too. JUST ALL THE FRIENDSHIPS FOR CORDELIA KTHXBAI.

On LA vs Sunnydale...

If college era of buffy is nostalgic, angel’s LA setting is straight up “THIS IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW”. I’m past Buffy’s concerns about class schedules and straight in the thick of Cordelia’s concerns about finding a decent apartment for a decent rent, balancing work that pays the bills with the true passions you live for, having to pay bills, be an adult.

And I think Cordelia really is angel’s greatest strength right now because of how much different her life is from all of her classmates’ back in Sunnydale. She’s had to grow up the fastest. Even Xander who’s ostensibly in similar shoes (straight to work/no college) has a kind of flat dotted-ness to him. He picks up random weekly jobs, he stays in his parents’ basement, he feels the world moving on without him because it is. Contrast that with Cordelia, moves to LA, gets a rad (albeit possessed apt), gets a job with Angel’s firm (basically starts Angel’s firm), gains Doyle’s visions, making her an even more integral part of the team... Their respective paths over the course of the same year couldn’t have been more different.

On “I Will Remember You”...

Holy damn that was an awesome episode. I knew it wasn’t going to last because Angel being a vampire is, like, his whole thing. I was like Buffy going “let’s wait before diving into all this” but then they crumbled and then they were in bed eating ice cream together and it was THE CUTEST THING EVER. And then even after Angel decided to turn back, I was like “that’s okay because at least they’ll have their memories and then it was suddenly all NO. NO. NOOOOO. THIS IS NOT OKAY, ANGEL NO. BUFFY MY BB, NOOOOOOOO.” The juxtaposition between Buffy in tears, clinging to him, and then 180 degrees, being back in his office completely tense and cold was traumatically beautiful and well-done.

And a part of me really eventually wants her to remember down the line, but I have no idea whether or not that would ever happen.

On Faith...

So. I’ve decided that my favorite part of Faith is when she completely breaks down into self-loathing. It happened when she was in Buffy’s body and then again when she was squaring off against Angel in the rain. She sold it so well, that I’m cool with her again.

On evil!Angel...

Evil!Angel is my favorite, the humor that just drips out of him while he’s killing everything. And I love that there are hints of it even when Angel’s “sober” so to speak. And while I never want him to turn fully evil again (season 2 played that the best way it ever could), I do like the way the writers are able to tease it back. First with the buffy season three episode where he faked it, and then again in this season of angel where it was kind of drugged out of him. And once again, I’m super happy that Cordelia and Wesley are his buddies because they can recognize that history of his in an instant (granted, Cordelia more than Wesley).

On Gunn and Lesley and Wolfram and Hart...

So Buffy/Angel crossovers excluded, my favorite episode of the season by far was when Angel and Lesley joined forces to infiltrate Wolfram and Hart and they also pulled in Gunn for good measure. Maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for heist episodes, but I think (I hope) that episode marked a turning point. Like “this is the world of angel. these are angel’s allies and these are his foes and this is way it comes together.” I’m looking forward to more with all them.

On Kate...

I have conflicted thoughts about Kate. I like her as a character. She’s been used somewhat inconsistently re: episode and screentime-wise, and still very distant from the main characters. I hope she’s used more in season two.

On LA’s demon sub-culture...

The thing I’ll end with is that I love how angel introduces us to a whole bunch of other demon, both good and evil and somewhere in between. With the exception of Willie’s bar, buffy doesn’t have that? Like I feel half the demons from LA could wander into Sunnydale and Buffy would start beating them up before they could talk. Or like if they put one toe out of line, she’d try to kill them.

Take for example the episode with Doyle’s ex-wife. Her fiance tried to eat Doyle’s brains, but the ending to that wasn’t “kill the fiance” it was just “that’s not okay, demon, and you broke my trust by trying to do it and if that’s a requirement for us to get married, then the engagement’s off.” And lo and behold, they broke off the engagement and thus ended the episode. No killings. And I don’t know, there’s just something ridiculously refreshing about that.

[bellabooks]

“Pretty Little Liars” recap S7 E15: In the eye abides the heart

Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Aria flipped teams, Paily shared a moment, and Ali went shopping at Rosewood’s most sinister baby clothing store. This week’s episode was directed by Spencer Hastings herself, Troian Bellisario, and she did a really great job with an emotional episode. We open with Emily and Ali staring at the board game, trying to decide what to do about their baby. They’re both feeling angry and exhausted, and Emily suggests they do a DNA test to confirm it’s her egg. Ali agrees, but in her heart of hearts she’s already knitting an Emily Jr. sweater set.  Emily, did you see the baby’s shiny unicorn-like hair on the ultrasound? It’s clearly yours!   Aria is new to the A team, and gets a video chat from a distorted image of herself. The Aria Face Filter is creepy, but there is something very funny about Aria literally yelling at herself. You hang up first! No, you hang up first!   The Liars assemble at the Brew, where everyone but Hanna agrees that Lucas is up to something shady. Hanna agrees to search the loft for any signs of Lucas’s connection to Charlotte, which is pretty bold considering the loft could come alive at any moment and try to eat her whole. Remember when that wacky fireplace tried to roast Aria like a marshmallow? The loft remembers. Spencer brings gluten-free cupcakes to Det. Marco, which in my book counts as a declaration of war. We find out that Toby and Caleb are having a bros weekend at a cabin in the woods, where they are not fishing and surely not having illicit gay mountain sex. JK, they’re talking about how they both slept with Spencer. Marco questions Spencer about Archer’s death, but Spencer awkwardly deflects him and leaves. She goes home to find an empty wine bottle with a message in it from Mary Drake, saying they need to talk. I guess you’re my mother now, Cabernet Sauvignon!   Ezra is headed back to New York because Nicole Probs, when Aria demands that he stay and be her fiancée. Ezra blows her off because of his big guilty man feels, and Aria is left with no one to talk to but her own face filter. She tells A.D. about Mary Drake and Pastor Ted, and A.D. hangs up on her. Emily fills Paige in on Ali’s pregnancy, but leaves out the part where she’s a co-parent. They hold hands, smile, and Ali calls Emily with the test results: it’s her egg. Ali also tells her that the father isn’t Archer, which means it could be anyone. My money is on Lucas or Peter Hastings, considering he’s impregnated half of Rosewood. A free trip to New York AND I get to be on the Maury show?! Nothing bad could come out of this!   Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention those weird cemetery interstitials where Caleb and Mona promote the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Later, they’re joined by Noel Kahn and Sara Harvey, who I guess has been camping out in the dumpster since they killed off her character. Guys, they’re supposed to be themselves in this, and this girl is not even good at playing herself! I’ve never seen four people less excited about a pirate movie. Hanna and Emily dig around the loft for clues, but Hanna is too busy playing with Lucas’s action figures. She asks Emily what she’s going to do about the baby, and Emily says it’s not her call to make. They go through Lucas’s comics collection and find an old issue of something called Arcturus, by Lucas and Charlotte. It’s about a couple of bullied boys, one of whom can morph into a female alien superhero. 10/10 would read this comic, watch the movie, buy the toys. Please let this be a PLL spinoff! There’s also a panel that looks just like the torture switchboard from the dollhouse. They show the comic to Aria, whose eyes practically bug out of her head. She tells A.D. about the comic, and A.D. makes her steal it and bring it to Rosewood High. Meanwhile, Spencer and Mary continue to play telephone through empty wine bottles. Are they using the same bottle, or is Spencer just downing a bottle before bed every night? If she isn’t, she’s getting plenty of help from Emily, who confesses that she wants Ali to have the baby. Emily feels like it’s an unfair and impossible situation, but she knows what she wants. Proof that Emily is ready to be a Rosewood mom: she’s already got that wine game on lock.   Later that night, Emily tells Ali that she wants to keep the baby and raise it together. Ali is conflicted, and Emily asks her to at least think about it. As if she could think about anything else. Mona finds Hanna at the loft and tells her that Lucas sold their fashion factory. This is not a surprise, considering Hanna bailed on the investors meeting. She honestly doesn’t even seem that bummed out about it. She also makes the smartest decision yet, which is showing Mona Vanderwaal the board game. And guys? Guys. Guys. Mona is in love with this game. She caresses it, holds it close, and feels its warmth radiating out and calling to her like Gollum and the ring. She does everything short of humping the board game before a razor pops out and tries to cut her. Mona deduces that the game is running on a battery, which means that the clock is ticking. Eventually, they will win the game or the game will end itself. Hanna begs her to play, but Mona doesn’t want to sucked back into her crazy adrenalized hyperreality self of season 2. Hanna says that she’s the only one who can understand and beat the game, and Mona realizes that she must once again save the Liars from themselves. My precious!   Aria arrives at Rosewood High and places the comic in locker 214. She walks away, but has a change of heart. When she opens the locker again, the comic is gone, replaced by a black hoodie. A.D. is some sort of ninja. Spencer and Mary agree to meet at an apartment somewhere, but Mary doesn’t show. Instead, Spencer is busted by Marco, whose been tailing her. Turns out that Marco is the only cop in Rosewood that is competent: he reveals that the night they nearly banged in the elevator, Spencer paid for the drinks with Archer’s credit card and signed her name on the bill. He tells her that he can’t help her anymore, and Spencer storms out. Later, she gets a note from Mary who thinks she purposely brought cops to their meet-up. I hope there’s some wine left. Emily and Paige have drinks together at Radley, and Emily reveals that she’s not only Ali’s baby daddy, but that she wants to raise the kid. Paige needs a drink, and proceeds to buy every drop of alcohol in the Radley bar. Paige realizes that she can never share Emily with Alison, and refuses to be part of a lesbian parenting triad with the girl who made her life hell. Bartender, I’ll take everything.   And the most heartbreaking part? She’s not surprised. Paige is utterly resigned to something she knew in her heart all along: Emily and Alison are inextricably woven together. They always were, but this baby brings everything into glaring focus. Paige knows that this situation is untenable, and she makes the mature choice to say goodbye to Emily and Rosewood. She tells Emily that this is the third and last time she’ll say goodbye, and kisses her. A tear runs down Paige’s face as she walks away from the love of her life. Whelp, this is a heartbreaker.   It’s not a fight. It’s not even an argument. It’s two adults coming to the painful realization that they want fundamentally different things. And those are the break-ups that are the hardest to bear. The ones where there is still love and affection and mutual respect. But things get in the way. Life gets in the way. If this is the last we see of Paige (sob!) I’m glad that she’s leaving on her terms, and not as a villain or as a victim. Besides, I’m sure there will be plenty of lesbians in Iowa who are more than eager to be her rebound. Before she leaves, Paige makes one last stop. She wakes Ali up from a nap, and they sit down to share some hard truths. Paige needs to know if Ali really and truly loves Emily. They both know that Emily loves her, and probably always will. But is Alison ready to let herself love Emily back? Paige floats the idea that maybe Ali’s legendary awfulness is a result of suppressing her feelings and being too scared to face her own truth. Alison admits to Paige and herself that she wants to be the Ali that Emily sees. Paige tells her she’s going to have a beautiful baby, and leaves Ali with her big repressed gay feelings. I’m not in love with Emily, I just think about her all the time, miss her scent, dream about buying a fixer upper with her in the subur- oh hell I’m totally in love with her.   Ezra is at the airport, where he finds Spencer grabbing a drink with Wren, who is making his obligatory farewell cameo. They try to convince Ezra to have a drink, but Ezra goes home to Aria instead. Spencer also asks Ezra not to tell anyone about the Wren thing, and Ezra doesn’t even care. Emily goes to Ali’s house, and Ali tells her that she’s keeping the baby. They agree to raise it together, and they share a long lingering hug. It’s the beginning of the Emison endgame. As much as I like Paige McCullers, I can’t say that I’m upset about an Emison ending. I think they’ve done a good job of rehabilitating Alison as a character, and I believe that she has genuine feels for Emily. Yes, there are issues, but it’s pretty wild to think that a show that premiered on a channel (formerly) called ABC Family has spent 7 seasons building to a grand same-sex love story. There are still five episodes left though, and anything can happen. What did you think of Paige’s departure and the Emison end game? Tweet me your feels @ChelseaProcrast http://dlvr.it/PFQSD0