#bro really is a poet

[hello-its-em]

Is bro mocking elder faerie 😭☠️☠️

Also him spontaneously rhyming is funny

[idledearest]

wiggly: heh-heh-heh-HEH!! uh-oh, you’re a rot-ten litt-le ba-na-na. *insert more condescending baby talk*

blinky: oOooOh Blinky is sad now. You made Blinky crYyYyYyy. *also more condescending baby talk*

tinky: *goofy ahh laugh* im gonna putcha in my tOY BOX ya dumbfuck!! *still condescending baby talk*

nibbly: *drools* mMmMmm yUM-YUM *self explanatory bc he is head empty only food, but you’re obviously the prey here*

pokey: d̴̠̂́̏̚e̵̹̤̪̪̫͕̊͐́̃̉à̶̼̾̃̽̽̄t̸̪̩̬͊h̶̯̩̩̰̬͌̓͛̒͊̈́.̸̼̭̏̍̊͋̽́ ̸̧̣̄̀̔r̵̟̭̞͔̍̍̈́͌͝é̵̫͑̈̇̎͗b̸͕̘͓͔̋̀͝ȉ̷̘̀̈́͜r̴̛̈̀��̣͚͇͎̘t̵̛͕̜̯̓̄̿̊͗h̷͉̠̲̰̼̔̈́͛̕̕͜.̸͎̙̑͛̾̑ ̷̲̭̖̺͒̈́

[sonics-atelier]

Someone needs to study the weird relationship the acotar fandom has with the artists.

[jojo-the-bird]

Me and my brother speak in a language without words, we speak in gestures and offers.

It is one we are both fluent in, one we both know well like the back of our hands.

Words don’t mean much for us.

Saying good morning and good night to each is something we both forget to say. 

Were as buying something from the store without the other mentioning about wanting something speaks volumes.

It means, I thought of you and it’s been a while since you asked me of something, so here, my memento to you.

But sometimes being fluent in one language is hard.

Having fights and bickering and arguing and teasing is one I’m unsure in.

We both have done tremendous amount of hurt to each other, but how am I supposed to carry on without you?

Who will punch me in the shoulder?

Who will say to me to do my chores?

Who will I go to school with?

Who will I complain to my parents?

Who will be my brother that I don’t already know?

It is like buying a piece of new furniture.

Sure the chair was old and I tripped over it a multitude of times but It didn’t mean that I didn’t grow fond of all its squeaking and rough patches.

The point is, who can ever be like you?

You are a one of a kind sibling and I don’t think I hate you as much as I make myself believe.

[allylikethecat]

Ok not to be really mean but I’ve taken cold medicine so my filter is gone.

But

How is Taylor Swift supposed to be releasing an album with such a beautiful, poetic, title literally, calling the album The Tortured Poets Department while dating a man that can’t read?!

[4giorno]

so hard when you dont know if the drawing youre working on is a case of "trust the process and it will be great" or "just delete it and start over and itll be great on the next attempt"

[smalllittlepoems]

there is something inherently queer

about getting stabbed in the hand with a clear

piece of glass but i think

i’d be an ass not to link

the pain in my hand and my heart to the fear

[notaconservative]

zionazis will call this propaganda like. Do you think this was done in a movie studio? How is any of it fake? Your forces bombed this man's house and family, and you call it a 'fake plea for sympathy'? 'Playing the victim card'??? Do you even have a brain? And then it's another level of subversion to do this to people and call any resistance 'terrorism', like how tf is this man supposed to react to his life being destroyed for simply being born in Gaza? Israel is lucky there aren't 2 million hamas members, and more being radicalized daily overseas upon seeing this tragedy. What level of brainwashing do you have to have to think the people that are resisting this are the bad ones?

The man is crying out, “Who will I hug now?”

This is the rubbles of his home. His wife and children were martyred in the Israeli bombing.

Video description:

There is a man on the floor, hugging a brick. He is shouting and crying. He is surrounded by rubble of his old home. There is clothing and backpacks in the rubble. A man in a black hoodie is behind him and is holding him, comforting him. Later in the video an older man in a red hoodie tries to pull the brick out of his hand and is also trying to comfort the man. The man holding the brick is shouting in Arabic, “Who will I hug now?”

[svnnw]

WHEN YOU SMILE — mark smau

after barely passing your recent exam you're now desperately looking for someone to tutor you so your friends wouldn't worry about you and your grades.

or in which you find yourself making a deal with mark lee, a top students who seeks for your help. mutual benefit right?

fake boyfriend!mark x fem!reader

GENRE — fluff, angst, slowburn, comedy, humor, fake dating, non-idol au, college au

WARNINGS — a little bit of cursing, reader is kind of mean to mark, mark is REALLY nice, reader gets teased a lot, features other idols : xiaojun (nct); jaemin (nct); giselle (aespa); natty (kiof); haechan (nct); chenle (nct); ningning (aespa); minji (nwjns)

STATUS — ongoing

PLAYLIST — wildflower – billie eilish [02:14] ; sure thing – miguel [02:16] ; iris – the goo goo dolls [00:11] ; nobody gets me – sza [00:38] ; 200 – mark [01:04] ; godspeed – frank ocean [00:33] ; infrunami – steve lacy [00:32] ; intro (end of the world) – ariana grande [01:08] ; margaret – lana del rey [03:57] ; we can't be friends – ariana grande [02:27]

TAGLIST — open

A/N — soo excited for this smau especially because i've been wanting to post a mark smau for soo long!!

profile 1 || profile 2

1 ) how can you fail the easiest class

2 ) does this mean we're friends

3 ) just you wait

4 ) haechan's birthday party

5 ) officially fake dating

6 ) she's my friend

7 ) y/n is missing??

8 ) crazy fangirls

9 ) showing off while you're sleeping is crazy

10 ) does she hate me?

11 ) ILL FIGHT FOR YOU

12 ) i need advice

13 ) i guess i can forgive you..

14 ) mellowed out like crazy

15 ) YOU HAVE A SON???

16 ) bro tweets like a poet

17 ) why do i have to study even if i passed

18 ) this is a set up i just know it

19 ) 7 minutes in heaven

20 ) i bet his name starts with m and end with ark

21 ) i'd do anything to see her smile again

22 ) my angel

23 ) mark is down bad

24 ) it's not that important huh?

25 ) are you at a photoshoot

26 ) mark you're just jealous admit it

27 ) you're lowkey speaking facts..

28 ) this is what i call mandela effect

29 ) is that your secret man cave

30 ) my pretty angel

31 ) so was i ugly yesterday?

32 ) you're so easy to gaslight xiaojun..

33 ) what did i tell you?

34 ) since we're already here..

35 ) and that kids is how we kissed.

36 ) matching shirts with my new best friend

37 ) you've always been cute

38 ) crazy how you broke haechans record

39 ) so i'm that important to you?

40 ) you're a very socially awkward guy

41 ) just go and check twitter

42 ) i'm gonna rip my hair out

43 ) ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY??

44 ) WELL YOU THINK WRONG ❌

45 ) when you smile

bonus chapters :

who does he think he is?

dude yk i didnt mean it like that..

© svnnw

[slut4sugu]

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐃 𝐇𝐂𝐒 (𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.)

a/n: im back my loves! I’ve been rewatching criminal minds and omg I love how soft Spencer is he’s just adorable bro. Also JJ with bangs? (She can get it too honestly) Mentions; of sub!spencer, dry humping, cunnilingus, sweet but nasty Spence <33

isn’t the best with explaining his feelings for you not in a nerdy way but is a poet when it comes to words of affirmation; ever time Spencer sees you look so beautiful, so ethereal he just randomly pouts out a poem that can barely come close to describe the amount of love he has for you in that moment <33

I’m a strong believer in the fact that Reid has a little decor around his apartment for when Halloween rolls around; and is beyond happy when he comes home from a case to find that you’ve went a the extra mile and decorating it a bit more for him <33

Memorizes your cafe orders; so on his off days he’ll wake up before you to surprise you with a muffin and your favorite tea/coffee

is usually the big spoon in bed; however if he’s had a challenging week he’ll just silently curl into your side pressing kisses to you neck as he murmurs a “thank you love.”

whines into kisses & grinds his hips into yours while doing so; Spence is weak for you that much is certain. Your voice is as smooth as silk and your touch never fails to ignite a fire on his skin. But your kisses are pure aphrodisiac, you effortlessly pull moans from him like it’s nothing. “You’re so cute Spence, so you want me to touch you?” “Please angel.”

cannot leave without his goodbye kiss and an I love you; one time you decided to mess with him and kiss him goodbye without saying I love you. After not hearing you say it back he poked his head back in your shared bedroom and loooked at you confused. “I love you?” “Mhm, have a good day sweetheart.” Now he’s pouting, “..did I do something wrong?” Now you have to pepper his face with kisses and tell him you love him multiple times so he can leave.

whenever he’s gone for a couple days for a particular hard case he’ll send you flowers, and sends you text messages; to check the new book you’ve read. Which leads you to find a sweet love letter. Promising his safe return and that he’ll make up for lost time <33

loves baking and cooking with you; know we all know Spencer can’t cook worth a damn, so his job in the kitchen is maintaining the mess you tend to create while making brownies and ofc pressing kisses to your shoulder as you mix the batter

eats you out slowly when he’s sleepy but horny; it’s so hot but so agonizingly slow. Even the way his tongue flicks against your clit feels slow, once he hears your begs and whines he’ll speed up a bit. Slowly starting to get more into it than you are, pulling you by your thighs to get close to his tongue. Lapping up your cunt is an art form to Spence, and all art deserves to be appreciated <33

tells Garcia and Morgan about you; he intends not to rant but once he pictures your sweet smile in his head he’s a goner. Now he talking about your mannerisms and how you always cover your smile with your hand because your self conicous about it, but he finds your smile so beautiful..

when he gets jealous he pouts slightly; he manages it relatively well but the initial time a guy looks at you too long or has that look on his face, Spence does that little confused pouty thing slightly before making it clear your happily taken.

Spence is HELLA touchy; cannot go 2 minutes without touching you. In the car? Hand on your thigh, sitting on the couch together? Your thighs gotta be on his lap. One way or the other

Happily spends his money on you; spence absolutely loves spoiling you, and every anniversary he makes a habit of buying you a dress. Not overly pricey but just enough in the 200-300 range. each anniversary he goes a little bit higher and higher or if you found a dress you really like hell buy you jewelry. But once you guys hit one year? He goes all out <33

uses your lotions and shampoo on occasion; being away from you for hours on end can be tough at some times so Spencer makes a habit of buying smaller samples of your vanilla or strawberry scented products. Smell of sweet candy and cookies like helps ease his mind when he’s away at work.

Honorable mentions

princess twirl/hugs when he comes back from a long case

loves going on library dates with you

says I love you every time before doing down on you <33

[greisekinderschar]

regarding book!dandelion’s much discussed misogyny one thing i find insanely amusing is how the gamer bro fanbase perceives it.

because to me, it’s like, supposed to be one of his weaknesses. it’s one of the ways in which he is unhinged that continuously gets him in trouble. yeah, there’s a joke here and there. but like. dudu thinks he can get away in dandelion’s form? nah man, the angry woman with the frying pan knocks you out, worst decision you made that day. he’s afraid he’ll get murdered if they go to toussaint. he survives the quest to end up on a scaffold because he couldn’t stop fucking around.

yet, when you see the dude bro “book stans’” reaction to the queer netflix reveal there are very personal grievances when they say “you made the womanizer gay!!!”. we know he’s not gay. he’s bi. he fucks more than twice the amount. but the fact that “the womanizer” would as much as look at a man somehow hurts these people in their masculinity, which reveals they think this part of him to be the cool, masculine part.

and it’s really funny to me, because i have this idea of sapkowski using bard characters (he does it in the hussite trilogy as well) to have some, dare i say it, subversive masculinities. because dandelion is very un-masculine in the context of the story. not only does he challenge the temerian knights and others by directly insulting their idea of masculinity and often ridicules the hierarchic structures he himself benefits from despite having fled the connected responsibilities. he’s not a fighter, he’s a poet, he’s not ‘hot’, he is pretty. he’s a coward, he is vain, he is bitchy, he is emotionally intelligent. he laments the gruesomeness of war that is nothing like the heroic masculine stories told about it. he is kind of the mum of the hansa. in short, he is very ‘feminine’, except for his womanizing and his misogynist moments (and the drinking). the parts of him that are, as i said, the most pathetic of his character. and yet, readers who are caught up in the structures of hegemonic masculinities perceive it as a way to consolidate his place in the hierarchy. in a way, his assholery is his redeeming quality in the masculine order. or at least that is what i believe, because why else would they have such an extreme reaction. if dandelion loses his one hegemonic masculine trait of putting himself above women by also sleeping with men, then he is not a man.

[i am aware the concept of masculinities has fluctuated massively in history, which is the point of hegemonic masculinities, and that medieval courtly masculinities had their own ‘feminized’ moments, with monks complaining about the knightly fashion making them look like vain women, but this is a fantasy saga that the reader perceives from contemporary standards, and the masculinities presented are very warrior-centered]

plus, i imagine it complicates his friendship with geralt. because they are bro bros, going to the BROthel together, sharing beds, kissing each other on the cheek for goodbye. if one of these bros is interested in dick, it makes emotional intimacy among men ~weird~. it makes the dude bros go “a bro cant have anything”. but bro, bro, you could have everything. you could even have a bite of dandelion.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Muse

Anna Helen Crofts: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, this is a little story that me and howard wrote together Barker: you and howard? how'd that happen? HP Lovecraft: oh we've been looking for a project to do together for a while

Edward Lee: bro you hanging with anna helen crofts now? Lovecraft: yeah Lee: bro Lee: sonia greene, winifred jackson, hazel heald Lee: how are you pulling all this quality tail? Lovecraft: i don't know, i'm just being myself Lee: Lee: bro that doesn't make any sense

Crofts: ok so this story is about a woman who reads a poetry book Crofts: and she has a dream that the gods themselves appear to her Crofts: and they're all 'babe, we got some great news for you' Crofts: you're so hot that you're gonna fuck some inspiration into the world's greatest poet

Crofts: the gods are all 'check it out' Crofts: 'you know Dante Alighieri? William Shakespeare? John Milton?' Crofts: 'morons!' Crofts: 'the guy you're gonna fuck is SO much better'

Angela Carter: a woman's just there to be a muse for a great man, huh? Carter: why can't a woman be a poet herself, I ask you? Crofts: no angela you don't understand Crofts: this chick is SO hot Carter: that doesn't figure into it Patricia Highsmith: naw i think it does

Crofts: me and howard wrote this story together Barker: oh did you now? Poe: clive Barker: i can tell, cuz it's definitely got all the usual hallmarks of a howard story Poe: clive Barker: i bet howard really contributed a lot Poe: clive

Crofts: wouldn't that be great to be a muse Crofts: a poet looks at you, he's all 'this chick is SO hot' Crofts: 'i can't NOT write the world's greatest poem' Crofts: if you think about it, howard Crofts: that's kinda like you and me, don't you think? Lovecraft: yeah i guess

Crofts: something wrong, howard? Lovecraft: no Lovecraft: no it's nothing Lovecraft: its just Lovecraft: that isn't really the direction i thought our collaboration would take Crofts: what's wrong with it? Lovecraft: it's just kinda mushy

Crofts: ok howard well next time we'll write what you want to write Crofts: in fact, here Crofts: why don't you use my beauty as inspiration Crofts: i'll be your muse Barker: ah ha ha Barker: oh honey Barker: oh sweetie Barker: have you read any of howard's stories?

Crofts: write me, howard, write me like one of your squid girls Lovecraft: [sweats] ok um so Lovecraft: [sweats] so in this story there's this girl, ok Crofts: what's she like Lovecraft: indescribable Crofts: Barker: ah aha ha Barker: nice save

[thelovinghost]

Hello there!!!! may i request headcanons on how the ouran host would flirt??

YES OMG I JUST SAW THIS REQUEST ON JULY 1 2023 [Yet I'm posting this in almost August...] Left out Mori cause he don't talk

Tamaki Suoh

A natural born flirt

He's so good, even his regular talking sounds like he's flirting

He's a cheesy flirt, but he has his moments were he's like a poet

"Your eyes are deep as my love for you"

"I'd rather look into your eyes than any stars in the night sky"

He knows how to make anyone blush, even those daring cougars

Man is great at foreplay

You get so used to his flirting that you become immune to it

^ He gets really upset by this, flirting is his best trait

^ Bro gets into a mental crisis. If he loses his flirting ability, will you become unattracted to him?

He loves when you play along with him and flirt back

He loves to flirt and it's his life

Though, if you're better than him at flirting?

He doesn't even know how to process it

Doing it effortlessly? He wants you to stop, because he's afraid you might flirt with other people, even if you don't realize it

You think he's over reacting [And you're right]

Hikaru Hitachiin

He's mean

At first he flirted with you as a joke, you know, like friends

But then when he gains feelings, he becomes a weird ball of confusion and uncontrolled emotions and he takes it out on you

He's mean to you, because he doesn't know how else to express his emotions

You're very confused

He gives you mixed emotions

One second he's over you like cuteness on a puppy then the next he ignores you

His brother will confront him and will sweep in to help your relationship [If you could call it that]

He'll flirt with you, so that Hikaru accepts his feelings [he doesn't]

In fact, he gets into a fight with his brother when they get mad

Hikaru and Kaoru get into such a bad fight, that it effects their host club activities

Hikaru's scared of rejection and abandonment

He's scared if he opens up, you won't want him

But you think he's fine either way

He's just a bad flirt with someone he likes, to cut it short

Kaoru Hitachiin

He's genuinely the best flirt

He's sweet and kind and unlike Tamaki he doesn't flirt with everyone

He's able to express every emotion he has for you when he flirts, unlike his brother

It's not even really flirting for him. It's just him telling you how much he loves you and everything you do to him

He'll make you blush and smile so much your cheeks hurt

He's genuinely so smooth

He'll grab your hands and tell you sweet nothings

He genuinely means everything he says to you

He loves you and wants you to know that

Mitsukuni 'Honey' Haninozuka

He has a child-like idea of flirting

He'll give you his sweets and lets you hold Usa-chan

He loves admiring you and will just randomly say how pretty he thinks you are

He's so cute, he can say the dirtest things and you won't even realize what it means

You'll think it's just cute

But it's not. He is a filthy, nasty, dude

But he has this child-like innocence atmosphere around him

He compares you to his favorite sweets and tells you he'd pick you over Usa-chan

[Damn, that's a compliment]

"You're as sweet as sugar, Y/n-chan!"

He has this sweet smile on his face as he tells you everything

"Y/n have you ever heard of a Funky Monkey?"

"No, why?"

He laughs, shaking his head, "I can show you, if you'd like"

Don't let him show you

He wants you to see him as a man, not a boy, hence the sex innuendos

Kyoya Ootori

His idea of flirting is pointing out your flaws and criticizing you

Kind of a douchebag ngl

I guess another way to put is that he's not to good with words

He'll take you wherever you wanna go

^ That's kind of his love language

He kind of looks at you and admires you

Though he doesn't admit it

He, like Hikaru, is scared of his emotions

He uses his actions instead of words

It's okay, you understand him well enough to accept this

You don't mind

Though when does open up to you, he'll occasionally, VERY RARELY, say something sweet

"You look nice today, Y/n"

You'll look down at your yellow dress, which you always wear because it's the uniform. "Ummm.... Thank you?"

He feels like an idiot after saying this though, so please don't call him out

Haruhi Fujioka

Terrible flirt

Can not flirt to save her life

When she does 'flirt' it's not even consciously

It's kind of like a mask

When she does try and tell you how she feels, it kind of falls flat?

Like she says it in such a flat tone and it comes off weird?

"Wow, you smell nice today"

^ "Excuse me?" [She says it like she either doesn't mean it or that you smell awful every other time of day]

She just keeps making it worse by continuing with it and not backing down

In fact, you'll probably be turned off by her for a while, because of her flirting

Eventually one of the other host club members hear her flirting and go to save her

"Haha, he doesn't mean that. He's an idiot." They'll pat her back, before dragging him off

"What is wrong with you? What was that?"

"I was flirting"

They then laugh at her and she frowns

She needs help

[perksofbeingpoet]

☆ THE POETS AT THE AIRPORT ☆

CHARLIE: trying WAY too hard to be everyone's airport crush. has to be dragged out of the liquor section of the duty free shop ("but the vodka is so CHEAP"). plays a game of "trying to sneak as many metal objects past the security check as possible". when he gets a pat down he keeps wiggling his eyebrows and saying some variant of "wow no you're wayy too old for me" to the security guy (who's probably considering quitting his job). is secretly terrified of flying but tries not to let it show (grips neil's hand so hard it hurts when they take off)

TODD: literally a ball of pure anxiety in the beginning of it. SO scared he overpacked, he's constantly talking about what if his suitcase is too heavy and he has to empty it out and everyone in the queue will be watching him and GOD HE HATES AIRPORTS. calms down a bit after the security check (totally panics about what if he accidentally put a gun down his pants or something and doesn't remember), and then just chills in the perfume area of the duty free shop, trying all the scents. buys loads of snacks because you never know if the place you're going to has the good ones. tries not to think about the possibility of the plane crashing. likes watching the clouds.

NEIL: A literal kid. Is the one who ACTUALLY overpacked, and runs around with his suitcase (he'd totally sit down on it and ride it around if that was socially acceptable). spends like an hour in the shops and is suddenly convinced he needs to buy a lot of unnecessary stuff. BUT goes into airport dad mode as soon as he needs to, he has all the tickets and keeps reminding everyone of having their passports ready, he knows the gate number etc. takes the lead and gets them to the plane safely.

KNOX: has like an hour long "in case i die on the plane" video ready for chris, and they have a long phone call to say good bye (interrupted when charlie gets into a fight with a security guard - "c'mon dude, who's side are you on, the government?? like being a small little guy in power??" "Sir I'm going to repeat it one more time, I need you to take off that belt please."). if knox wasn't dating chris, he'd totally be looking at all the cute girls at the airport for like two seconds and trying to telepathically tell them they're cute (relatable, not gonna lie). Is so polite and charming to all the staff that it's on the verge of being funny, Pittsie teasing him about really being the perfect son in law. Honestly just a very chilled flyer, he has fun.

PITTS: has even more fun. has like an extra bag full of snacks that everyone makes fun of and then obviously wants some of later (pittsie gives them some because he's a bro, but they have to swear that he's the best and will get the front seat of every car they'll ride). TOTALLY has one of those inflatable neck cushions. the security guy comments on how tall he is mainly to make conversation, but pittsie is still proud of it (i think i mentioned my headcanons about pitts' relationships with his height? or did i never publish them?) and smiles for the next minute. reads the on-flight magazine. super excited at take off, he's like LET'S GOOOO while todd and charlie are on the verge of crying. freaks out about omg I forgot my passport (neil took it from him one second ago). fun facts about planes!!

MEEKS: the chillest. tries to calm todd down by telling him statistics and all that about the narrow chances of dying on a plane until charlie snaps and is like SHUT UP OH MY GOD ("'kay sir" 🫡😳). nerds out about planes with pittsie! has WAY too many tags on his bags in case they get lost. tells really bad airport puns that pittsie thinks are HILARIOUS. spends the wait by just sitting in a café and drinking way too much coffee. ONLY buys one teeny tiny little bag of m&ms and then eats like half of pittsies snacks. sits more comfortably than pitts because his legs are shorter and don't get cramped and DEFINITELY teases him about it like 'hmm i don't know what you mean, there's plenty of leg room!"

CAMERON: really excited for the flight, loves the whole experience. printed out everything twice just in case!! all his liquid items are in these little plastic bags that no one ever uses (or maybe y'all are just better than me). eats SO much beforehand to save money because the airport prices are ridiculous. runs to the gate like three times to check it hasn't been changed. has the craziest methods to keep his ears from popping.