#bro isn’t paid enough

[midnightfire830]

Sorry about that Kobie I thought he will choose work 😥 how about I invite you coffee my treat

Coffee Break!

Thanks for the ask!

[jd07201990]

“Oh, come on Chuck! This’ll be my second time! You can’t keep forcing me to work another 40 years, just to make it to retirement and do it all again! It’s not yours or my fault that there aren’t enough young folk to take over our jobs! Hell, maybe if we paid a bit more, the few of them out there would apply!”

“It’s Lieutenant Roth, Billy. Now go change out of that equipment and take a shower. Whatever this remote does to strip away all those years, it sure does leave a young man ripe!”

“Don’t call me Billy! I haven’t been Billy in 30 years! Its Bill Damn it! And how am I supposed to explain this, again! to David?! You know he’s not into, well… this!”

“Put your shirt down Billy and quit your complaining. We’re doing something different this time, changing things up, trying something new. See, we couldn’t afford to pay higher wages all these years, because we’ve been stashing extra money away, for a new program. This remote can do a lot more than just wipe away years, Billy. The company has a whole app-store full of features, but they cost a hell of a lot. We only had enough for 2 new features, and we think it’ll really help solve this town’s aging population issue.”

“Wha… what the hell are you saying? What do you mean, something new?! Chuck, dude… you’re seriously starting to crack! What the fuck does any of this have to do with David?! And who is, “We”?!”

“I’m only going to tell you this once, son. It’s Lieutenant Roth. Now, I guess there’s no beating around the bush with you young-bloods. So I’ll get right to it. “We” is me, the Governor, and the Town Board. We investigated every possible fix, and it comes down to this. All the youth are moving out in droves, going to college, or fleeing to the city for excitement, leaving us aging folk to do the hard work around town. With the remote able to take years off a person, we’ve decided that all our current retirees, in every department, will be regressed, and the new feature we purchased will ensure you all follow your new, youthful instincts, providing us with a full generational bump in population.

You will be the hot-blooded virile stud you were way back in the day; you remember? Except this time, just as David isn’t attracted to this prime of your life look, YOU won’t be attracted to David, or any man for that matter. You see, we need all the help we can get, so with this little app, you’ll be chasing pretty women, and will certainly end up settling down, once one of them catches. Ah, by the look on your face, you know exactly what I mean.

Good, because you and the rest of the retirees are going to have your hands full, working these jobs getting paid just enough for a double-wide and a truck, leaving a trail of gals before you settle in with one, and have a whole mess of kids. "

“Ch… Lieutenant, sir… Wha… you’re insane dude! Fuckin’ totally cracked! You hear yourself! You can’t do this! I can’t be… I can’t chase… I don’t… don’t like…. Fuck… fuck dude… what the fuck are you doing?! Quit pointin’ that shit at me bro! My.. my head!”

“Don’t worry son, I’ll let you off the hook for all that mouthing off. It’s got to be rough having your brain completely flipped inside out, dumped out and filled with everything you need to be a, productive, member of society. Isn’t that right Billy?”

“Wha.. Oh, hey Lieutenant! So uh, is it ok if I head off to the showers and hit the road? Kind of a slow night huh sir? If it’d be alright, I want to go down to the Strip and hit the bar. The dudes and I figured we’d start the weekend early, ya know? Gotta get get some tail on lock before the storms hit. Thinkin’ I might run into Becka too, you know, from Thornton Stables? God she’d look real pretty, all knocked up good n’ proper!”

“Oh alright son. Go ahead, take the night off. But you’re on call. Got it! One or two beers, maybe a shot, take some cash and buy the lass one of those fruity drinks, and you treat her like a lady, young man. Got it?”

“Got it Dude! I mean Lieutenant! I’ll make a lady outa her yet! Thanks for the money too! Ya know how rough it is on the town’s wages! Although you and the Board seem to be doin’ alright. I hope I can get to where you are, Sir!”

“Don’t worry Billy, you’ve got a good 40 years or so to work your way up! Go have fun tonight!”

[littybeech]

Ten things the Twilight animated series can do better than the original movies (if they care enough to, please add all your own points to this as I will, too.) :

1. Include ALL of the book scenes, without having to change them to make them easier to film (for obvious reasons, since it’ll be animated they shouldn’t have much issue there.)

2. Their daughter, Remoulade can actually look like the book described her (or better or worse) and not the CGI monstrosity we got twelve years ago.

3. Make all the characters fit their book looks to complete accuracy. Alice was 4’10 and the movies made her 5’5. They let Edward have brown hair when he’s a ginger. Jacob and the wolf pack had better be above 6’5! I want 23 year old Carlisle and 26 year old Esme playing parents to like three legal adults and two 17 year olds.

4. The parentification of Bella Swan, by both of her parents, mustn’t be ignored. Bella was making sure the bills were getting paid by the time she was 10 cause her mom was ‘too flighty and distracted’ to do things like that consistently, she also learned to cook and clean early on too because her mom’s cooking was inedible and she’d improperly mix cleaning solutions dangerously. She got a job at 14 and took care of the groceries and any other issue necessary on top of being in AP classes in school. By the time she moved in with Charlie, she was basically more of a parent than he was. He did the bare minimum to ensure her car’s safety by installing snow chains on her tires without telling her and she cried because she wasn’t used to being taken care of.

5. How she cries when she’s angry is peak girlhood and I hate that they got rid of that in the movies. She stomped her feet bro, like c’mon she was so angry and anxious and annoyed all the time and they only focused on her angst.

6. Integrate aspects of Midnight Sun too, maybe incorporate them both so we can get a more full story. Twilight on its own was a bit of a snooze fest compared to Midnight Sun. We’re gonna pretend that Edward hunting and eating Esme’s abusive ex-husband isn’t hot af?

7. Add in more character’s back stories. Alice’s abusive father and stepmother, Emmett’s gambling and womanizing as a human in Tennessee, etc.

8. Unfortunately we need to make it clear that Charlie’s not winning any father of the year awards here either. He congratulated Jacob after forcing a kiss on her and joked about Jacob pressing assault charges on her after she breaks her hand punching him away.

9. Maybe ask why the Cullens…’need’ so desperately to come back to Forks every couple of years? Like they’re multi-billionaires, they’re immortal and there are plenty of gloomy, cloudy places they could live in semi-permanently. Why Forks when they know the Quileutte tribe knows what they are and they know it makes them so uncomfortable? It just seems unnecessary.

10. More of Edward reading Mike Newton’s inner-monologue. I know it would depend on whose perspective we get but I think the idea is hilarious.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

any soda headcanons?

Hi! I hope these suffice, I couldn't help but throw a little bit of Stevepop in :)

Sodapop Curtis Headcanons

-The Curtis house has a half finished basement which is where the laundry machine is, but the ceiling is FULL of spiders and spiderwebs. Both Darry and Pony are PETRIFIED of spiders, like Ponyboy is jumping from foot to foot and hyperventilating and Darry SHRIEKS when he sees one, so its always Soda’s job to de-spider the basement and he absolutely hates it (he's a little scared of them too, but not nearly as bad as his brothers)

-He has the friendship equivalent of those ‘you cheated on me in my dreams and now I’m mad at you”. One time he dreamed Steve left him stranded at the Dingo and was lowkey pissed at him the next day. Poor Steve was SO confused

-Loves both peanut butter and chocolate by themselves, but HATES when they’re combined together. Bro HATES reeses cups with a passion

-After the Curtis parents died he snuck into their room, stole his mother's half full perfume bottle and hid it in his bedside table. Sometimes before he goes to bed, when Ponyboy is busy brushing his teeth, he’ll spritz a little on his wrist because when he closes his eyes and smells her perfume he can pretend his mom is hugging him again.

-Thinks bananas are spicy (they’re not, he’s just mildly allergic but doesn’t realise it. Everyone in the gang thinks he’s making a joke every time he says it. He isn’t.)

-Him and Steve swing dance together at work sometimes when they’re working alone in the garage and his stomach flutters every time Steve dips him 

-Cannot sing to save his life and does it all the time anyway. Like, he sounds like he’s gargling with rocks, it’s actually painful. Dally has literally paid him to shut up before.

-Steve’s pet cat absolutely HATES him and Soda will always and forever be mad about it because “what did I ever do to her???”

-Can’t remember what his dad’s voice sounded like anymore. It haunts him.

-The easiest way to piss him off is to disrespect Steve in front of him. Sodapop is convinced the sun shines from his grumpy best friend’s glaring eyes, and if anyone doesn’t see that he WILL throw hands, no questions asked

-The Curtis’ have a chore jar full of little slips of paper with the really unpleasant chores they only have to do once in a while written on. Every three months they each draw two each so that way it’s fair who does what. EVERY single time Soda ends up having to clean behind the stove and he’s forever bitter about it because “it looks like a crime scene back there Dar and I know it ain’t just my fault!”

-He and Steve gave each other stick and poke tattoos once but his got SUPER infected. He would’ve had to tell Darry and probably go to the hospital if it weren’t for Evie, who luckily had some training from her tribe’s medicine woman and managed to fix him up.

-Him and Darry do rock paper scissors to decide who has to tell Ponyboy when he has a doctors appointment because Pony always gets SO mad and neither of them wanna deal with him

-Once walked in on Two-bit in an, ahem, compromising position, and hasn’t been the same since

-He used to socially drink pretty often but stopped when he realised how much drunk him really wanted to kiss Steve on the mouth

-Started drinking socially again when sober him kissed Steve on the mouth and the world didn’t end

-He draws faces on the eggs in the fridge, partially because he just finds it fun, but also because it always gets Darry to smile and shake his head fondly, and there isn’t enough that makes Darry smile these days

-Darry made him promise when he first started work full-time that he’d keep half his pay check for himself. He promised, but only ever keeps about 10% of what he makes as spending money. He’s determined to make sure neither Darry nor Ponyboy ever find out

-Wishes he was a bit more like either of his brothers, because even though he loves them more than anything, they have more in common with each other than they willl ever have with him and sometimes he feels like the odd man out in his own family, especially now his mom and dad are gone

-Had asthma as a kid but he grew out of it by the time he turned 10

[heestruck]

Bad Reputations ; Park Sunghoon SMAU - jake has L rizz

synopsis ; you’re one of the big three on campus, but little does anyone know that your trio isn’t as strong as it looks. behind closed doors you’re outcasted by your dorm mates, they’re always ditching you, excluding you, and always trying to tell you what to do. So what happens when you go to a party and basketball player Jake Sim encourages you to take a break from your girls squad and hang out with his friends?

That’s when you meet him. Park Sunghoon. The most infamous guy on campus with a bad reputation.

previous | masterlist | next

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

jake is on the basketball team, and he cannot for the life of him leave y/n alone. he just likes to tease her and try fail miserably to hook up with her. aside from his basketball bros he has his best friends heeseung, professional gamer, avid weed enjoyer, niki who definitely is not a drug dealer, jay who doesn’t get paid enough to babysit them, sunoo & jungwon who gossip way too much for their own good, and last but not least sunghoon. sunghoon is many things, he’s notoriously known on campus as a bad guy. someone to be feared. rumours are constantly buzzing around him, some even as bad as saying he’s killed someone. everyone says he’s bad news, but to be fair, he is.

[sjw-publishings]

Lit Gud Streamin

With much encouragement from @dumb-and-jocked

>First Time Streamin’ bro?

The house husband blushed at the first comment coming to respond to him.

Carson Green was anxious…he’d heard of streaming but never tried it until some pestering from his Gaymer group as of late.

The stay at home husband wanted to help with the finances, hence why he even considered it in the first place. Sure it was nice being a homemaker, and definitely had a flair in cooking, but he wanted to do something different.

“Y…Yeah, it’s my first time.”

>LOL K

He was relatively unsure of this, but he had known and spoken to several of the guys a week ago, and though he could have sworn they talked about a different topic entirely, he recalled about many of them bragging about ‘raking in the dough’ for gaming.

True enough, many of them are not only being paid handsomely in royalties for streaming, but they have a surprisingly large fanbase!

Admittedly, he was sort of shocked…and sort of jealousy that many of them are quite popular online, almost like they reached stardom within a week or less.

But regardless, his group also promised that they will help out with ‘assimilating’ him into the platform and moderate his stream. So surely he would reach a certain level of success with their guidance.

Though he’s still unsure how exactly will do they so.

“W…What games will we be playing?”

>Dis the game dude

>Ur in it, brought in da Boiz to watch the stream.

With that, the number count rose exponentially, from single digits, to doubles.

The house husband blushed, twiddling his thumbs at being watched by wide audience. Is it like a reality show game? Or is it something different entirely?

Granted, there weren’t any instructions or briefings given about it. Maybe it is a more on the spot, spontaneous kind of thing?

“D…Do I need to do anything in particular?”

>Just be yourself , LOL

>You gotta impress us Noob.

He…kind of doesn’t like being called a noob, but he is new to streaming after all. So he ought to listen to them, no matter how they are like.

>Dude, ur Tagline?

Tagline…?

Oh yeah! All the cool streamers he watched had one.

Wait? Since when did he watch…well he is a gamer after all, so it’s only natural that he DID watch streams, at least some of em by proxy. He is rather connected to the other guys.

“Ummm…ok LOL, what kind of tagline. Do you all have any suggestions, dudes?”

>Just Lit Gud man.

>Yeah RAT

He thought maybe it’s tough love or something…though it really feels extremely rude. Almost draining even, like yeah it was exhausting trying to keep up with his group’s gaming shenanigans, but even in their streamin’ advice?

C’mon Man!

Plus he’s just got married not a while ago! They could’ve at least be NICE to him since he’s now tied down! Like don’t get me wrong, he loves his husbro, but when all is said and done, he does miss the glory days of being with the rest of the guys.

“Look, I-D-K if Lit Gud Noobs is such a nice tagline?”

Desperate for a win here. Yeah, he may be getting quite aggro. But it’s justified! Bro.

“And who you callin’ Rat, RATZ!”

His mouth slurred at that remark, a very sleazy…immature slur as he quickly covered his mouth in that regard.

Though admittedly, he kinda liked that.

After all, if he was the rat, then these noobs are his goons. And while he usually isn’t the dominant one in his relationships, admittedly he kinda liked roleplaying as one of the typical bros, even if he wasn’t THAT asian compared to them.

>RAT BOD

>You lift Bro?

“My body…its not that well off-“

>Get lit or get Shyt on

He’s gotta get LIT.

Watching as his weight sizzle away down, melting away the bubbling tummy fat into a faint trail of a six pack, straining loosely on the shirt being his college grad pectorals.

Gotta show off after all. Specially during the bachelor’s party!

His diet consisted of pizza, soda and chips. And so ducking what? Body trim as DUCK, that’s how he lived and how his rats loved it. Some people said it was his GENE-tics or some shit that he had this bod, but you know what he says to em’?

Get lit or get Shyt on!

But even so, da shyt? Why did these bastards gotta treat him like that? Weren’t they all buds or somethin’?

“You RATZ are always so rude.”

>We rude? KAPPA

>Haha Noob!

With every interaction and vocabulary pollution, hunching lazily towards the screen, eyes entranced by the masses of comments.

LIGHTING and EMPHASIZIN’ random words, like an obnoxious mixture tainting his patience. Persistent name calling and being on the receiving end of the relationship kinda pisses him off.

>LOL K, How’s the stream?

But admittedly, a growing part of him is really getting pumped, while irritated, a small part of him liked broadcasting to these gamers.

If only they had some MAN-NERS, sheesh!

“How the streamin’ goin? Dude IDK, just a Jerkin’ stream today, nothin but insults.”

> Git Gud

> Just Git Gud

> Noob

Chat, filled with your run of the mill, cloned responses. Your typical mocks and insults, passive threading onto aggressive, a fine balance of being slightly very aggro but chill, producing RUDE DUCKIN’ INSULTS.

Each one after another, a shytposting blend that makes the stupid obnoxiousness rise higher and higher. Calves toning out from jumping upwards in sports as his body shrunk downward, making sure he sees eye to eye with dem BOIZ.

One liner aggressiveness alongside swarms of memes and complete nonsense. Idiotic behaviour, fitting a ‘RatChat’. Blending in with the other dudes, speakin’ their language, participating campus exercises and roughing around with the other bros!

Like a game, course, they are gamers after all. They know the COMBO, dissecting their streamer bud like it’s nothin’! Insults kicking right from the beginning!

He wanted to beat them at their own game!

Be hetter-BETTER! Calson Greo wanted to be a PRO.

“Alright RATZ, What’ll make me less of a noob and g-”

>Git Gud Noob

“GIT GUD?”

His voice slurred, eyebrows raised as he slumped back in his gaming chair. Like a simple command burning into his skull.

He just gotta GIT GUD! No instructions needed, except you gotta be IN DA LOOP. At TOP! As his buttocks clenched at the refusal of being BOT! Cheeks meant for exercise and gamin’.

He had to GIT GUD! And that’s being on top of his game always!

>You gotta be LIT Fam

“LIT?”

A delicious fuming rage erupted from his screen, as a multitude of laughing frogs and emojis filled his entire chat.

Igniting a fire within, his skin tanning till its just RIGHT. Made for a BOI who spends time gamin’ both online and in sports. Just like every other of his classmates back on campus.

>Stop being such a QUEER

“QUEER? Da SHYT?”

SHYT, these men tryin’ to get under his skin. Really making him all pent and rock solid. NO HOMO!

Wait WUT?

DUDE! LIEK…man he’s really even sounding immature in his thoughts? Wasn’t he some sort of QUEER? DA FK? He was g…a…guy, A GUY! YEAH! He was a guy like em!

“Thought you all stand for GUY RIGHTS?”

HE ALWAYS TOPS! Yeah so maybe he had a PHAG, but it was clear they are ‘sabotaging’ his GAY STREAM and tryin’ makin’ it the way it ought to be!

Full of SHYT-talkin’, assholes are dragging him down to THEIR level. A more rodent, nastier bunch instead of friendly GHEYS! But alright! If these idiots want to game, then they gonna-

>Look PHAG, if you want to WIN you gotta stop sucking

“SUK DEEZ NUTS!”

GOTTEM

An obnoxious Tenor bursted out from the man, retaliating like an immature douchebag as he finally sunk to their level. Height stooping at an average 5ft 9, GPA scores barely scrapping by the median. A fellow backslider like the crowd.

And HE was going to let these DOUCHEBOIS get it HARD!

>Just Chillax Gay Boi

“I AM CHILLAX!”

He sneered, as his voice rose into a stupidly obnoxious loud tenor, allowing that youthful tone engulf him in an asian tan like his peers, makin’ sure he is part of the Hivemind that is Snitch culture.

“No Sweats allowed…Just CHILLAX man…”

Feeling his mind sinking into the mass rebellious conformity that is his gamin’ community, his voice cooled slightly, gifted the flexibility to yell when he WANTS to BOIIII!

His buttoned down fused, as the simple white tee clung over his frame with slackened glee, bluntly accentuating his pectorals, as a typical print was plastered over like another typical meshed up shirt that the zoomers would wear.

He was NO SWEAT, Trousers shortening up to his thighs, lightening up into a more mesh, flexible material. Hanging loose L-sized on his waist are his flaming red basketball shorts, stickin’ out like a sore thumb whenever the dude stands up or goes for a bathroom breaks.

>Yo streamer, you a player?

“Am I a play-yer?”

The young man slurred, smirking as he acknowledged that remark, teasing those thirsty PHAGS and RATZ like he always does.

ResidentSnorer and various funny frogs spammed the chat box like no other, skyrocketing his view count to the thousands.

The young Boi loved every minute of it. He was getting the fame, boi.

“Course I am, ain’t easy being this good…”

>u dating someone?

“DAY-TING?”

Slippers took a hit in their quality, soft material becoming a pair of stretchable basketball shoes. Made for the kind of guy who keeps his options open.

Both in da basketball court, and in da bed. And yeah, it was technically his home. Well, he and his GAY fiancé’s. But it’s mostly a BRO thing! Roommates with benefits!

“Boiz, I have a fiancé , but..”

>Sounds Sus

>you gay or what?

His eyes widened, SHYT, he wasn’t supposed to say that. Not that he minded the older man…except when he was being GHEY-but weren’t they a couple…of MEN.

But aren’t they together? Da SHYT! He was a playah! BUT what about that time when they cuddled-BRUH that’s GHEY! BUT WHAT ABOUT-YOU GHEY BROSKI? BRO? B-

“BUTT-FK! I mean…I MEAN my BOI-FRIEND!”

>MEGAFAG

Fiddling the ring, the band stretched beyond the size of his palm, turning into pure eleastic as it slid down his right wrist, loosely fitting like its part of some showoffy trend.

As the chat continues to spam various emotes, including a distinct rainbow head, don’t these douchebags know he’s single and ready to mingle? Why are they thinkin’ he’s gonna be bangin’ it with some dude?

“Who you noobs calling GAY? It’s just ONE night!”

> QUEER ALERT!

> GAY GAY GAY

One hand palming below, the other one flippin the stream. Colson Groh’s darkened hair flicked down the side, his new asian ethnicity fully taking hold without remorse, blending in with the group of bullies pickin’ on him and his-FAG!

“One night of PRANKIN FAGS!”

Picking on em hard, he wasn’t one of em, but man is it HOT setting them STRAIGHT! The twenty two year college dude smirked, as PHAGS couldn’t resist starin’ at his clean-shaven slack-jaw and risen cheekbones till they get completely RAT PRANKED.

GGEZ

>Ayyy LIT

>Lets go BOI

>AFKin’ RAT!

“Bet you all can’t get ladies to your doorstep.”

>Check GayPay

GayPay my arse, StraightCoin’s the deal bro.

Though speakin’ of ladies. Hot damn…is he THAT dry? Cause he’s having that fantasy every straight, gamin’ charged college guy’s has.

Surrounded by hot ladies.

Then again, he’s always THIRSTIN’. Course, a guy like him can get a bunch of women in a flash. But he totally can jerk like a maiden-less douchebag like a bunch of the idiots watchin’ him.

Makes him relatable to his RATZ, yeah? Sides, nothin’ wrong with a lil jerkin’ on cam, nothing GHEY bout it!

>Yo RAT, check out your numbers

>BRO past 7k

>NO CAP

LIT_GUD: +7k subs

“Nggh!”

Rapidly vibrating his 7 inch joystick, brows raised as they thinned out. The last bit of hesitation melting away, making way for youthful gamin’ bravado as a seedy wide grin beamed in the stream.

“How to LIT GUD getting chicks?”

>PRO-DUCTION BRO!

>GIT LIT STREAM!

>YEEEEAAAAH BOI!

Comments flooding all over his stream, a mass mindset and mentality calling all to pump. PUMP! Pumping his POG-O STICK to the MAX! The Go-To-Game for men of his kind.

The HIGH score, as his eyes narrowed in utmost dumb simplicity, tilting his head upward to the ceiling as he grinned wildly as he thought bout’ that simple fantasy!

All da LADIES comin’ at him. YAAA BOIII!

“JUST LIT GUD BOIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

Colton Goh no scoped all over his boxers, slumping back as drops of youthful rebellion spluttered all over, mucking it with obnoxious bully testosterone like he always does.

Feels so LIT! Being able to climax whenever the heck he wants, why abstain when he can just LIT GUD MAN! All those goody two shoe brethren back at campus grounds are really missin’ out.

But of course, he’ll scoop the remaining wads of mayo to his jerk off bottle later. He may be a backslider, but he gotta be up in his production game, beat his last record and all that shiz.

Speakin’ of which.

“E….Z….”

7k’s still just rookie numbers for a guy like him, but considering he got it all in a bunch of hours, he’s as good as the pros like the rest of em’!

“Yo…and that’s how you dudes get the ladies, man.”

>AYYYOOOO

>MY STREAMER!

>YA BOIIIIII

“Boiz, if you see any gays going all homo on ya. You gotta give em the LIT GUD!”

Normally he would collab with his streaming buds, but he really oughta help his Bromies out by teachin em.

Especially ratting out GHEYS until they turn into a couple of rats like he is. And what better way than to create his own Streamin’ channel? All he got to do was be himself bro.

Brings in the subs, and sides, hot chicks dig him, and fags thirstin’ over him get weeded out until they are a bunch of rats like he and his gamer crew.

‘[TOP] Gay Dude Joined the stream’

Speaking of fags…

“Ayy, a new fag joined the stream, sweet.”

Not sure how did ‘Gay Dude’ squirmed into his ‘TOP’ friends list, but he must’ve added him during that stupid RNG game he tried last night while he drank Heteroade with the bois.

But honestly, heh, he doesn’t give a Rats arse bout em’. After all, he needed someone to dunk on to celebrate his 7k Subs, so why not make sure the fag gets the whole RatChat streamin’ experience?

Heh, this will be hot.

“Give em a couple of Lit Guds in the chat, noobs.”

[i8ickygrl]

（⭒ ˘˘）ᵎ🖋️➞﹕ready player one 🪷

featuring: streamer!gojo satoru x fem reader warnings: dubcon, mention of spit, a bit of exhibitionism, blowjob proofread(?): i think so authors note: thank you guys soooo much for the support on my last two fics! this one is a little rushed so i'm not sure if i'll keep it up but my brain was itching to write this concept. don't forget to like, reblog or leave a comment if you can! hope you enjoy! thank you for reading, lovey <3

streamer!gojo who spends so much time around that desk. you know how much he enjoys being a streamer, interacting with his followers and basically getting paid to hang out with his friends all day. but you can’t help but whine when his attention isn’t on you.

“yes, love?” he’d pull one side of his headphones off of his ear and raise an eyebrow. 

“what time do you think you’ll be off?” your plump lips formed into a pout.

“soon, baby. i promise.” he’d take one of your hands and rub his thumb over your knuckles loving before turning back to his screen.

it was the same every time. you really didn’t mean to be annoying, you just missed him so much… so how could he blame you for crawling under his desk and seating yourself in between his legs?

streamer!gojo who’s still so caught up in his little game, yelling at someone to revive him. not to worry though. his attention would be all on you soon enough. you smooth your hair behind your shoulders and lick your lips before sliding your hands over his knees. 

streamer!gojo jumps slightly at the feeling, stopping his sentence mid way and looking down at you. you smile sweetly and bring your finger up to your lips, silently shushing him. 

streamer!gojo who plays off his sudden change in demeanor, making up some dumb excuse. his eyes are wide as he tries to refocus his attention, feeling you palm him through his shorts.

you feel his cock twitch under your grip, looking up at him through your lashes and smiling wickedly. feeling him close to being fully hard, you tug at the waistband of his shorts signaling him to lift his hips. 

streamer!gojo glances anxiously at the chat, noticing a few “you good?”s but nothing too alarming yet. he didn’t know how far you’d take it but he was sure he could play it off. 

he was in his boxers now and you smiled further before sliding your hand into the slip and pulling his cock out. you hummed happily at the sight and began slow strokes around the tip, watching his length grow in your hands.

you hear his breath hitch above you and it only encourages you to go further. you place your other hand around the base and stroke faster, giving him kitten licks every now and then as his pink tint began to swell from the stimulation. 

streamer!gojo who’s face is starting to contort is pleasure. he attempts to clench his jaw to hide it but its a bit too far gone now. he looks down at you, seeing you begin blissfully sucking his cock. your head bobbed in rhythm with the hand you twisted at the base as you happily and hummed around him.

“uhhmmm… is he okay?”

“bro does your stomach hurt or something?”

“gojo??”

he glances at the chat and curses under his breath before hearing a loud voice blare through his headphones.

“LOCK THE FUCK IN SATORU!” 

“i’m sorry, ma- fuuck.”

streamer!gojo who looks down at you, your shirt off now and his cock wet with your spit. your mouth was opened slightly as you looked up at him, panting and silently encouraging him to cum for you. god, he wished he could take a picture. you looked so damn perfect. 

streamer!gojo is close to his limit now, barely trying to hide the way he lovingly looks down into your eyes and sighs in pleasure. 

suddenly you push your breasts up against his cock and he swears he could cum right there. you pump his length, still keeping eye contact, and your lips moves to say something barely above a whisper. 

“come play with me gojo.” a moan slipping past your lips as you speak.

streamer!gojo is immediately ripping off his headphones, spewing apologies to his chat while whoever he was playing with screams through his headphones. he frantically closes various screens and waves bye to his chat before hurriedly guiding you towards him by your chin, surprising you with a deep, heated kiss.

“let’s go finished what you started.”

[66germs]

Vinsmoke Shipping Week Day 5!

Almost there!!!!! Auegwjauaua!!!!!!!

YonCose - Love Letter

Not quite a letter but yknow me by now I’m just a silly guy. Yonji will sneak the most random notes without telling Cosette and will just wait for her to find em. He finds himself very funny. She gets a lil laugh out of em everytime •v•

Silleyyyy

SecondPage - Royal x Knight

Bro isn’t paid NEARLY enough for this.

That is all.

[kittykat-25]

And They Were Roommates- A Chan Oneshot

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Genre: Roommates to lovers, Protective Channie

Summary: Going out on dates to get over your crush on your roommate was a great idea until you have to call him for help.

You lock the stall door behind you and pull your phone out quickly hitting the number on your most recents. Please answer! please answer! You think as it rings. You know he’s working, praying he’s not in a meeting, you start to lose hope when your favorite roommates voice fills your ears. “Hey!” Chan answered, “please come get me Channie.” You beg. The desperation in your voice has him standing up from his seat. “What’s wrong? Where are you?” He asked already packing up his bag, ignoring the stares from the other producers in the studio. You quickly sent him the address. “He’s a creep Chan. I’m not getting in his car and I’m scared if I walk home he’ll follow me.” Chan clenched his fist, he knew he should’ve talked you out of this date the second you told him about it but he let Han and Bin calm him down. Chalking it up to jealousy. Sure he has had a crush on you since Han offered you the fourth bedroom, pushing it aside to be friends and he truly cherished your friendship, he was also convinced you’d never feel the same way. “I’m on my way.” He said into the phone, “where are you now?” He heard you laugh, the sound alone calming his nerves. “Hiding in the bathroom. Our food isn’t even here yet and I’m debating on climbing out the window.” Chan chuckled. “We both know you’d end up hurting yourself. Just stay put and I’ll come get you.” You thanked him profusely before hanging up and walking out of the stall. You knew this date wouldn’t have ended well, you honestly didn’t have high hopes for it to start with. But you were putting yourself out there, trying to get over your crush on the beautiful Aussie currently coming to your rescue. You had fallen for Chan so quickly after moving in with them. Han being the wonderful friend he is offered you the spare room in their apartment when your lease ended, you were skeptical about moving in with three guys, producers at that but once you met the two other boys you were sold. The other five friends of theirs had quickly taken you in as well but you had bonded to Chan on a different level. Maybe it was your crush but you clicked well enough for him to become your rock, the one who kept you stable.

You debating staying in the bathroom until he came but your bag was still at the table. Cursing yourself you pushed open the bathroom door and begrudgingly made your way back to the table. Your date however was standing at the bar flirting with a cocktail waitress. You thanked the lucky stars and grabbed your bag. Hoping to sneak out the door. You saw Chan through the window and went to walk towards him when a hand came down around your wrist. “Where are you going baby?” Your date asked, grip getting tighter on your wrist. You turned, yanking your arm out of his grasp. “I have to go. You can go back to your waitress.” You said with a sarcastic smile. He chuckled, making all the hairs on your body stand up. “I took you to a nice place. I paid for your meal. I think you can at least put out. You know since I did all of this.” You rolled your eyes, “a meal I didn’t get to eat? All you’ve done is make me uncomfortable so no thanks.” You stated before turning around, your face collided with a chest and the familiar smell of Chan engulfing you. “Everything alright here?” He asked, sliding you behind him. Your hand grasped in his, “we’re fine bro. That’s my date. We’re trying to have a meal.” He scoffed at Chan. Chan looked back at you, then turned to face your date. “Looks like she’s leaving bro.” His voice icy and cold. Not the normal Chan you’re used to. He turned and started to lead you out of the restaurant when your date reached forward to grab you again, Chans hand came down on his arm. “Do not touch her again.” Chan ground out. His grip tightened until the man let go of you. Before tucking you safely in from of him and walking outside.

Once the spring air hit you felt yourself breath fully for the first time since you left the house. “Thank you Chan.” You said quietly, “sorry you had to come rescue me.” Chan lead you away from the restaurant, still tucked against his body. “Why are you apologizing?” He asked. “I just know your busy and I pulled you away from important things to help me over some stupid date and-“ you started to continue when Chan gently cut you off, “you are important to me. Work will always be there but I will prioritize your safety over everything.” You stopped and threw your arms around his neck, breathing in the comforting smell of his cologne. “Thank you Channie.” You mumble into his neck. His arms wrap around you squeezing you tighter into him. “Why did you go on a date with that guy to start with?” He asked as you resumed your walk home. You felt your face heat up, looking down at the sidewalk to hide it you quietly answered, “I was trying to put myself out there.” Chan chuckled, “but with someone like that?” You shook your head, “he asked and I figured why not? The person I actually want doesn’t want me back.” You immediately regretted your words the second that came out. Chan pulling you to a stop. “Woah who do you actually want?” He asked, surprising himself with how steady it came out despite his heart rate spiking. “I’m not saying.” You stated as you continued walking. “We don’t keep secrets.” Chan said catching up to you. “Well you know them and it’ll make it weird.” You shot back, knowing you were being too defensive. “Everyone I know would never be dumb enough to not be with you given the chance.” He retorted. You paused, “what?” You asked, making sure you heard him right. “Which of my idiotic friends are stupid enough to turn you down? Because I would give anything to be in their position.” He quickly fired back, not processing what he said. You pulled his hand, which still engulfed yours to a stop. He looked down, trying to hide the blush which now covered his ears. “Chan.” You prodded, hoping for some sort of explanation. “I’m sorry. I know you like someone and you don’t really want your friend confessing to you like this. I don’t want to burden you, I know you’ll never feel the same but I like you. And it kills me that someone is dumb enough to not realize what a treasure you are.” He said quietly, slowly pulling his hand out of yours. After a minute of you being silent he looked up to find you staring at him, mouth slightly open with tears in your eyes. “Why are you-“ not even letting him finish the question you closed the distance between you, throwing your arms around his neck and bringing his lips to yours. Chan stood in shock for about a second before kissing you back. When you pulled back slightly, leaning your head against his. “It’s you. You’re the idiot I didn’t think liked me back.” You giggled. Chans face broke into a massive smile before he pulled you back in for another kiss. When you pulled back again he pulled you closely to his side, “come on let’s get you some food and go home.” Walking side by side you were so glad you went out on this horrible date, and thanking every star for the wonderful man at your side.

A/N: So for someone like myself who is a Danceracha girly through and through. I always get carried away with Chan Fics😂 I don’t know what it is about this man but I had to cut off the ending to not drag this out! But I hope you enjoy🤍

[justhereformilgram]

WARNING: Mouthwashing spoilers ahead?? it is a psychological horror game so there is a bit of blood and gore, themes of suicide, cannibalism, all that. So be sure to read the content warnings if you haven’t heard of it before but decide to check it out!

Anyways. I introduce milgramwashing. because I fell down the rabbit hole and loved the complex storytelling and horrific situations of the original game. HOWEVER, for this AU, it definitely will be a different sort of storyline because while I appreciate the hard subject matter Mouthwashing tackles, I don’t feel comfortable putting any of the milgram cast in those positions.. I do love to point out parallels, though, and things will definitely still go terribly wrong.

Just imagine they’re a different branch, a different ship, on the Pony Express— or should I say, the Jackalope Express?

(1) I was torn between making the MILGRAM (replacing Tulpar) just a delivery crew like the OG, or a ship carrying prisoners, closer to MILGRAM. Or prisoners who become a crew after an emergency happens and Es can’t handle it on their own. 🤷 None of this explains putting Es, a 15 year old in charge. Were they a child pilot prodigy? A nepo baby? Who knows. But they are Captain Es.

(2) Next is Yuno, the first one I drew so she’s in color! She’s a psychology intern, just learning the ropes, tagging along because she needs money to provide for her parent and little bro. Also she’s under a false name since idk how legal her side job was in the mouthwashing universe. The Anya parallels are… quite real, though in this case she would’ve gotten pregnant from her clients like in MILGRAM but before she got on the ship, and only realizing later, and then it becomes a whole situation. She becomes an assistant nurse to Shidou after the crash happens.

(3) Fuuta! I think he shares in Swansea’s grumpiness, and it does make sense for him to be an electric engineer or hacker due to his focus in tech. cough. not always for noble means. Haruka will be his intern he has to deal with—though he isn’t middle aged, I think a mentor/older brother and younger brother dynamic mirroring Swansea and Daisuke could be fun and tragic for them. Also Kotoko definitely slices him in the eye. I don’t know why or how, I just feel like it fits pretty well.

(4) As said before, Haruka is another intern without much experience, sent into space because his mother didn’t want to deal with him anymore. Harsh. Meanwhile, after her incident at her school, Muu’s parents paid big money to cover it up then shoehorn her into an “internship” where the authorities can’t get her. She gets the nicest room on the spaceship.

(5) Kazui! The muscle of the group, originally I gave him captain or pilot since he really does give Curly vibes (means well, hurts the women in his life anyways through inaction/telling the truth/lying) and he also has a mid life crisis. then all this happens. I’d imagine he’s fairly level headed and would’ve intervened in the Kotoko incident and the Crash. (Related somehow? I don’t know, I didn’t think the lore all the way through) Not fast enough to spare Mahiru, though… Mikoto is not an intern, but a very stressed mouthwashing sales representative part of the advertising sector. His job still sucks. He’s due for a breakdown at any moment. John was always there, but he probably comes out more during great times of stress, like the Crash. Maybe he’s partly responsible, trying to defend from Kotoko or something. In no way people are letting Amane onto the ship willingly so I made her a stowaway fleeing her conditions under the religious organization after she murdered her mom. She sneaks into a shipment of mouthwash or something idk. Shidou is doctor but in space. I imagine his family passed in a terrible, terrible accident and he did lots of medicine malpractice still.

(6) Finally, Kotoko and Mahiru. Kotoko needs to use that axe, it fits too well.. I do think the Crash, just like Trial 2, is a turning point, so she probably has some hand in the Crash as well, if not purposely then it might be from swinging that around recklessly. She still looks cool doing it, though! And Mahiru. I imagine she pulled a legally blonde and followed in her boyfriend’s footsteps to become a pilot. After he passed, she continued her schooling and ended up as co-pilot on MILGRAM. Tried to stop the ship from crashing from the asteroid, and got caught in the blast zone… I’m sorry Mahiru it’s just you’re the only one with many bandages as a character design element 😭 and it made too much sense 😭😖 I think she’s still cute though. I gave her Daisuke’s hibiscuses since I like that imagery

[emelinstriker]

☆ Playing Monkey King VR ☆

That episode is still engraved in my head with how much the game MK was playing looked like an actual game one could play irl, and I'm still salty about how it's not an actual game.

Also my hyperfixation picked these three for these headcanons- And I'm aware about how the game is implied to have been created by Wukong himself, but we shall ignore that fact for a sec-

☆ ~ Headcanons ~ ☆

☆ Sun Wukong

>His ego just skyrocketed and won't be coming back to earth for a long time; may Buddha have mercy on your poor soul

>Expect him to watch you play everytime with a smug grin

>You can clearly see his tail swish around happily whenever he sees you react to one of the Sun Wukong character sprites (Especially towards the images of him being buffer than usual)

>You know how the game's Wukong would keep stopping the game's MK just to give him a bunch of tips and tutorials? He's actually doing that to you while you're playing, but with a lot more telling on what exactly he wants you to do (Backseat gamer smh)

>"Go back! Go back! You ran past an important quest item for the endgame!"

>Will distract you a lot by leaning into you from the side or from behind, or wrapping his tail around you in the middle of a battle

>You're struggling with a boss (cuz of him distracting you lmao)? Hand him your controller, right fucking now, he'll use his knowledge to beat the shit out of them for you

>Don't get your hopes up of him doing minigames and puzzles for you however, he absolutely sucks at even those easy-level ones

>If the game has a PvP mode and you have a second controller, expect him to want to duel you just to show off

>You can distract him by scratching his fur or touching his tail in the middle of it as revenge though

☆ Macaque

>Bro would be so salty if he sees you play this game it's not even funny

>He was actually thinking you were talking to the actual Sun Wukong when he heard his voice coming from your living room

>Once you give him a description of the game, it doesn't exactly lower his saltiness over you playing a game based on his nemesis and his successor

>"Why do you not have the option to fight Wukong?"

>"Be happy this isn't a dating sim, Mac..."

>"...The fuck is that supposed to mean"

>I would highly suggest playing whenever your monkey's out of house just to avoid the risk of him deleting the game from your console- It was a paid game after all with roughly 10 hours of playtime on your save file

>You can't tell me he isn't a master at any puzzle at any given difficulty. He could do all puzzles for you!

>Doesn't mean he would

>Jk, he would solve them when you're not looking or when he's bored- or even reluctantly with you if you beg enough cuz he loves you too much

>That doesn't stop him from either leaving you with a clone or spy at your gameplay as a shadow when he got time

>Unironically enjoys watching you play and beat up all those enemies with a smile

>Will deny it if you ask him if he's been watching you play from the shadows

☆ MK

>Excited noodle boy

>Would try to figure out if there's a way to co-op the story quest part

>ABSOLUTELY will play it himself when you introduce the game to him; I mean, it's about Monkey King??

>WILL gush about his hero, Monkey King, despite being his successor

>Will be lowkey annoyed if you refuse to skip cutscenes and are actually listening in on the tutorials and stories- It's evident by his constant whining and groaning

>But it's all good, he could never stay mad at you over it!

>You actually have to pry the controller away from his grasp from time to time- He will not stop to take a break until this boss is down!

>Dear gods, he's been playing for like 12 hours straight now, please knock him out and get him to bed- He won't be beating the boss like this

>Has a lot of fun doing easy-level minigames and puzzles, but does struggle with puzzles later on so you better help him

>"I'm getting the hang of this! But why isn't the strongest skill in the game working on this guy??"

>"The tutorial literally tells you to counter him, dummy"

>"Ugh! Why does it keep healing itself?? It should've died like half an hour ago!"

>"If only you read the boss description at the start of the battle..."

> Link to Masterlist <

[shieldofiron]

Vibe Check Part 3: Quid Pro Bro

The Frat Boy Au, Part 3

Read Previous on Ao3 or tumblr.

Steve wakes almost falling out of a chair.

He blinks, looking around the empty lecture hall and then finally looking up at the girl who’s still shaking him.

“Hey, yo, I’m up, I’m awake!” He wriggled out of her iron grip.

“You have to leave.”

“When did I pass out?”

The girl scoffs rolling her eyes hard, “Like halfway through the lecture, dingus. You snore, by the way.”

“I do not!” He snapped. Billy’s never said anything, and they’d roomed together all of last year.

“Oh yeah,” she nodded, crossing her arms. “Drool too.”

Steve just began to gather his books, “Why are you even here? Just let me drool.”

“I’m the TA,” She smirked. “And I didn’t want to be caught grading your absolutely half baked paper.”

“Yeah,” he smirked right back, giving her a little of the patented Harrington sparkle. “A likely excuse.”

She just huffs, heading back to the front of the room and gathering some papers, “you try to help a guy.”

“Want me to walk you home?” He glanced at his watch. “Kinda late.”

“I live off campus.”

“Your car, then.”

She blinks at him, “you’re not getting in my pants.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m gay.”

“And I’m just offering a walk home,” Steve shook his head, “you try to help a girl.”

She pauses, “you’re serious. You don’t have to do that.”

He nods, “yeah I am, dude, it’s like 9 pm. I’m not gonna let you walk home alone.”

She’s pretty, short hair sort of messy around her freckled face, which morphs slowly from a scowl into a more confused expression.

“Okay, I guess.”

“You thought I would just leave you in the lurch?”

“Not-“ She just laughs and shakes her head. “Fine, dingus. Prove to me that frat boys aren’t all the same.”

“We’re not!”

“Your taking a nap during the lecture non withstanding. Like it wasn’t even during a film day.”

Steve massaged the back of his neck, “My neighbor at the house has this girlfriend, she’s like a banshee. We didn’t sleep at all last night.”

She swung a multicolored patchwork tote bag onto her shoulder, “Can’t you just outbang him? Fight fire with fire?”

Steve’s brows rose as he scrambled to shove his notes into his backpack. “Whoah, I didn’t expect you to say that!”

She giggles, “I’m a TA not a nun.”

“Fair enough. How do you get to be a TA anyway?” He holds open the heavy metal door as she sails past, her tote bag hitting him hard in the solar plexus as she did.

“Sorry,” She says. “You take enough of Herman’s classes that he starts to remember your face. It’s a blessing and a curse, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. And the pay is dismal.”

“You get paid too?” He followed her down the hallway and out into the brisk fall air.

“I thought frat boys had all the money for keg parties and togas and house dues and lawsuits…”

“Not all of us,” He scoffs, as if he isn’t absolutely the exact type of guy she’s talking about. “It’s always good to let the brothers know about stuff like this.”

She rolls her eyes, “I can’t believe you actually talk like that.”

“What? Brothers?”

“Yeah,” she raises one shoulder. “Isn’t your boyfriend one of your brothers? Isn’t that a bit creepy?”

At first he thinks it’s the fall wind. That whooshing sound.

“What?” He realizes he’s frozen, locked to the spot in his adidas slides, staring at a tree rather than her.

“Oh,” She falters in her skipping. “Did you two break up?”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Uh, I don’t really know his name but he used to walk you to class last semester for Women in Film? Blonde guy with the curls? He has an embarrassing and frankly dated 80s thing going on?” She blinks at him. “God, you did break up. I’m so sorry, Steve.”

“How… wh… we’re not boyfriends,” he finally manages to stutter after a few seconds of autumn-chilled silence.

“Oh,” Her expression morphs into pity and it’s fucking awful. “I get it.”

“No, no I… we’re not like that at all. Billy and I are roommates. We’re…” he couldn’t bring himself to say brothers, his mind still scrambled. “Friends.”

“Oh.” She tips her chin down. “Sorry. My mistake.”

After another stilted second, they start to walk again with purpose towards the parking garage.

But she keeps sort of glancing over at him. Like she’s checking.

“We’re just friends,” He repeats after a moment.

“Got it.”

“Nothing going on there.”

“Okay.”

“And we’re straight.”

“Interesting how that came up last.”

“I’m fucking serious. We’re just friends.”

“Got it. Broken gaydar. It happens,” She shrugs, and he tries to do it too. Just like… no big deal.

But he can’t seem to stop wanting to say it. They’re just friends. How could anyone read them as anything else.

The more he thinks about it the funnier it seems. Of course nothing is going on, it’s so crazy that she thought so. He’ll have to tell Billy, even though the idea makes him feel like he has a nest of angry scorpions in his stomach.

Finally, they turn sharply for the nearest dorm, just past the garage near the theatre building.

“I thought you said you lived off campus.”

“I thought you might be a serial killer. I don’t know which one of us is more disappointed.”

He laughed through his choked throat. “I’m Steve, by the way.”

“I know. You’re Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington. You’re the party chair for Theta House and you’re like,” she puts on a silly high voice, “so cute.”

“And straight.”

“And straight, that too,” she giggles a little nervously. “I’m Robin Buckley. We’ve had classes together for two years.”

He rocks back on his heels, “you did the John Waters short for Dr Casey’s class. That shit was legit.”

“That’s me,” She smiled, “sorry about confusing you and you’re friend earlier. You’re just so… anyway. See you next time.”

“See you next time, Robin,” He says.

The whole way back to the house he can’t shake the feeling. Like a leaf blowing on the back of his leg he’s jumpy, sure he’s feeling spiders and skeletons.

He whips out his phone and dials the first number he can think of. Surely it will all just seem like a joke tomorrow. A harmless mistake.

“Hey,” Billy picks up on the second ring.

And it’s like all the words in the world have dried up in his throat and he can’t speak for the corpses. He just makes a little aborted wheeze.

“Stevie? What’s up?” Billy asks.

“D-do… do I snore?” He asks, not even sure where that came from.

“A little. But it’s cute. Why, is some girl giving you grief?”

Steve is so nervous he just up and disconnects the call. The wind blows at the name of his neck and his whole body breaks out in goosebumps.

[mammss]

home is where the heart is

<3 after reading obey me bros and how'd they do with there children made me very inspired to write this. i love a good ol demon dad and their baby being utterly cute

<3 fem!mc x mammon

<3 fluff, sfw, mc and mammon have children, talks of mc being pregnant and going through it

since the moment the two of you confessed your feelings mammon knew one day he'd have kids with you, he'd never tell you of course he couldn't risk you thinking he's crazy or weird but one day you'd settle down and start a family which he couldn't wait for

and boy when that time arrived he couldn't help but get on his hands and knees to thank whoever above to make his dreams a reality

the day you tell him and show the pregnancy test he just grabbed you tight and asked you if you wanted to keep it, he'd never force you to give birth but god did he hope you'd say yes because when would another opportunity strike to talk about a family and pregnancy without him seeming like he wanted them even though he sooo badly wanted one?

and when you said you wanted to keep it he bursted into tears kissing you and spinning you around blabbering about having a kid with you like any cliche rom com

throughout your pregnancy mammon is very protective of you and becomes your personal body guard when you don’t need him to be, like he complains about his brothers being around you claiming they're stressing you out, he forbids anyone to touch your belly the moment it grows he apparently is the only one who can feel it and he cooks all your meals and fixes you snacks because he knows what a human can and can’t have, his brothers let alone barbatos don't have that knowledge

this sort of protectiveness stems from his greed of course not wanting anyone to touch what belongs to him but he just wants to be the only one to experience this pregnancy and make you happy, he’d never forgive anyone who gets to feel the baby kick or help you through your sickness etc he's gonna be by your side for every little step

this is also a time in his life where he gets very serious about the future and never wants you guys to struggle financially, so this man is working non stop and paying back debts just in case some idiot gets the idea to harm his kid for leverage. every penny mammon makes is either tucked away or paid to witches, casino owners and anyone else who bugs him for money

may I also add he earns this money all responsibly getting multiple jobs and as much as it gets tiring all he has to think about is his family and the man gets motivated like that

this man would want an extravagant baby shower and the gender reveal would be huge too like dangerously extravagant the devildom will pay the price for mammon to find out what gender the baby is

the day you finally give birth is an eventful one at least. your water breaks and mammon isn't ready what so ever. while you’re trying to gather everything you need and get to the car mammon is frozen in shock. It takes his brothers who are freaking out as well may I say to pull their own brother together while trying to focus on you and your needs

I’m positive demons don’t have a hospital because they’re strong and magics a thing in the devildom but for the sake of this headcanon there is one ok?! so when you guys finally make it to the hospital you and mammon are separated and the demon does not like it one bit.

remember when I said mammon isn’t gonna miss anything during the pregnancy? I mean this man is demanding your location and has to be restrained by beel but the moment he’s calm enough to be let go he’s rushing to your side and wanting to be apart of the birth anyway possible.

Once the child's born mammon sheds tears like no ones business but nobody says anything about it as it’s not the time. being all high and mighty earlier he becomes very quiet and observant later just because he can’t believe his life has changed in a matter of seconds 

when you ask him if he wants to hold your child he sits down next to you and shakes because of how nervous he is but with you being by his side all you have to do is reassure him and he slowly reverts to his loud extroverted self

another silly headcanon i hope someone remembers if you're seen the office is when pam has her baby but has trouble breastfeeding so the doctor who's a good looking guy is trying to help her and you see jim's jealous yeah that's you and mammon but he'd get vocal about it real quick and would have to be escorted out of the room again by beel

[deansmom]

I know nobody here really cares that much, but since 1989 (Taylor’s version) came out my fyp has been all about her & Harry, and so many of the videos are like “GASP was Harry one of the bad boyfriends?!”

And as someone who’s never felt any type of way about Harry, I think I like or at least respect him a little bit more after the vault tracks? Especially “is it over now?” Because I’ve seen a lot of clips of this man talking about Taylor over the years, and I’ve never seen or heard him say something disparaging or complaining about her writing songs about him. In fact, I’ve only ever seen him be like “hey, it’s her life and if she’s written anything about me, I’d be flattered. She’s so talented.” And this isn’t a new reaction, like there are interviews from that year where he says something to that effect and honestly?? Pop off, Harry.

They’re friendly enough that I’m sure he’s heard these songs before, or at least knew that she had some less than flattering ones in her back pocket, and was still like “yeah, no, I’d be honored. Are you kidding?” Like he was 20 or something when they were together and 20 year old boys are awful and shitty and apparently he’s talked about the fact that he’s a bad boyfriend before, so I love that this entire time he’s shown a level of emotional maturity and respect for her that fucking John Mayer refused to. It would’ve been so easy for him to be a dick about it, and he never was! It seems like he just went “I treated you like shit. You’re totally valid in this. Go off, queen.”

I’ve been laughing imagining him listening to the vault tracks and the “if she’s got blue eyes I can surmise that you’ll probably date her” line and being like “fuck, bro. She really called me out like that on main? Damn. I should send her flowers or something.” And then “now that we don’t talk” I can literally see him hearing the line about her mom and going “aw, Andrea. I always liked her. I hope she’s well. Fuck it, somebody send her flowers too.”

As somebody who knows nothing about him and never really got into 1d or paid close attention to his career, only passively enjoyed his music, I think these song’s coming out vastly improved my opinion of him 😂

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Leon Kennedy headcanons part 2nd

- Due to the lack of control in his life, Leon seeks control in other things such as his diet, his daily routine, weekly schedule, and even what he buys

- Gets paid a lot since he works for the government but rarely uses it

- He literally lives in a shitty and small apartment that isn’t decorated and sleeps on a bare mattress on the floor

- Cannot relax like ever unless he’s alone in his apartment, but he’s close to relaxed if he’s alone with a trusted person like Chris, Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. Hunnigan would be included but they usually only meet to discuss a new mission for Leon

- Doesn’t listen to new music, but will listen to recommendations from friends and new releases from bands/artists he already listens to

- Bro canonically listens to dad rock and metal and was born in the late 70’s so his music taste can be…interesting

- I know a lot of people say that he would have one-night stands or whatever but not only is this man the most awkward person ever and Cannot Pull, he’s also severely paranoid and closed-off around unknown people, drunk and sober. He most likely doesn’t get any action whatsoever

- He’s super sweet towards kids. Just has the biggest soft spot for them and can’t stand to say no to them 99% of the time

- He gives off Midwest energy so bad, he probably spent a significant amount of his childhood living there (if we’re going off his original backstory n shit he probably got moved there while in foster care and remained in that area until he aged out)

- He can’t stand change (autism and desperation for control) and it’s why his hairstyle remains the same. It’s one of the few constants in his life and he physically cannot have his hair in any other style

- He’s an alcoholic in the sense that he’s almost always drinking. He doesn’t really do binge drinking, just a constant flow of alcohol in his system throughout the day

- Dissociates a lot. After Spain, he was stuck in a dissociative episode for over 3 months, just going on autopilot

- Prefers off-brand items over brand names, mostly due to growing up without a lot of money. It’s more comforting

- Hates being dirty or smelling bad. He showers religiously and throughly, always making sure to apply cologne afterwards even if he’s just going to bed

- No phone case. It would be helpful since he has pretty big hands and long fingers but he just lets his phone rawdog the world

- Leon is a trans man !! Government pays for his T shots and paid for his top surgery (though it was mostly so they could make Leon feel more indebted to them)

- Leon is just so extremely touch-starved it’s actually incredibly sad. Even if it’s just a medic touching him to patch him up, his skin prickles and his eyes sting

- Doesn’t mind sugary things, but if he’s going to drink soda, it has to be diet. He tends to stick with water and unsweetened juice, though

- If he’s going to use pet-names for someone (such as Chris perchance), he sticks with “baby”, “sweet thing”, “doll”, and “sweetheart”. He doesn’t usually use pet-names though, mostly because he thinks it sounds awkward coming from his mouth

Chreon stuff because homosexuality

- Leon absolutely adores hugging, snuggling, and cuddling with Chris. The man is bigger than him and makes the perfect pillow

- Finds it hot that Chris can easily manhandle him

- Favorite thing to do is cuddle with Chris on the couch or lay his head on Chris’ thighs or chest and watch movies with him

- Instead of rings, they have matching watches (canon)

- Leon can get needy and whiny when sleepy, especially after a mission, and will cling to Chris like a leech

- He feels comfortable and safe enough with Chris to relinquish control to him. He knows his husband will keep him safe and has his comfort in mind

- Claire had a fucking field day with them when she found out they were together. Literally got teased relentlessly, and she jokingly gave her blessing

- Leon found it amusing when she gave Chris the shovel talk, not him

- Leon teases Chris about his smoking habit but Chris never really does the same with Leon’s drinking, knowing it’s a sensitive subject and instead just makes sure his husband doesn’t drink too much

May post another part, who knows?

[heavyhitterheaux]

Don't Believe His Lies

Jessica's Tale as told by @nattinatalia

Heaux Tales of Jack Harlow

I don’t know how it happened, but it did and it was so fast.

I don’t know if it was his blue eyes that pulled me in. His smile probably, or the way he carries himself, But I fell hard and I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same for anybody else.

I met Jack three years ago in San Diego, I was working at a club he was hosting and performing at. I was the bottle girl, yeah how poetic is that? All night long he kept eyeing me and trying to get my attention with little touches here and there whenever I would go up to his section, but I was working so I paid him no mind.

Paying him no attention? That’s an ego killer for a man like him, he’s always confident and so sure of himself. But he loved the chase and so did I. It started with gifts, trips and whispers of sweet words. It went on for about a month until I finally gave in and we’ve been together ever since.

“Babe, I just don’t understand why? We’ve been together for almost two years, why can’t we talk about taking the next step?” You’re straddling his lap, his hands on your waist while he’s looking at his phone.

Jack had arrived in my hometown two hours ago and said he would be staying for the weekend. But I’ve been missing him like crazy, I’ve been moody due to my period and I was just picking fights.

“And what next step is that? We’re together, this apartment is ours, that car in the garage is yours, those gifts I brought with me? All yours, so what next step are you talking about?”

I roll my eyes at his words, “Bro, that’s materialistic things I could care less about. I appreciate the gifts but I’m talking about actually settling down, moving in together. Not what we’re doing now, you come and go every two weeks and it’s not because of your schedule, I see your Instagram stories when you’re back in your hometown with your friends.”

“First of all, don’t call me bro Jessica. Second of all, I told you I’m just not ready to do all of that. What’s the point of moving you to my hometown when I’m about to start my tour and I’ll barely be home. It’s best if you stay here, surrounded by your friends and family.”

I make a face at that so he pulls me in closer “Baby, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that this year I’ll be busy non stop more than ever. I need you to stay here so you don’t feel lonely if I do move you in with me.”

I shrug, “I wouldn’t feel lonely if I met your mom.”

“You’ve met my mom, crazy girl.”

I nod, “You introduced me to her as Urban’s friend, not your girlfriend and it was a five minute conversation.”

“Did I? Well I’m sorry mamas. But stop, come on I’m only here for the weekend and since I walked in you’ve been picking a fight.”

You roll your eyes “And you’ve been on your phone the second you got here. Who are you texting so much?”

“Jessica seriously? It’s work stuff.”

I go to get off his lap but he holds me in place. “I’m just needy, I miss you and I’m in my feelings. I need reassurance about us.”

“Jess, me being here isn’t reassuring enough to you?” He gives me a kiss and squeezes my thighs. “Let’s just enjoy the weekend, let me go to the Mexican restaurant you love so much, two blocks from here and I’ll get food, while you set up here for a movie or shit, I’ll even let you play those two shows you love so much. I have plans for the entire weekend, baby, let’s not ruin it.”

You smile, “You’re willing to watch Sons of Anarchy and Mayans MC with me? Oh that’s love right there.”

He smiles, “I do love your annoying ass.”

“I love you too, now hurry up.” I get off his lap. “Today they close early. Get me an order of tacos de adobada, and a California burrito with a Horchata please.”

He stands up and heads for his keys and wallet “I’ll be quick.” He gives me a quick kiss and walks out the door.

**********

Ten minutes later I’m done setting everything up in the living room when there’s a knock on the door.

I chuckle “Did you lose your keys or what?” I go to open the door thinking it was Jack, but I see no one, I look to both sides and see no one is there, but an envelope on the floor caught my attention.

I go to pick it up and walk back inside and start opening it up.

Nothing could prepare me for what I saw.

Pictures.

Lots of pictures of Jack with different women.

The cherry on top?

This mother fucker is married and with kids.

I don’t know how long I stood there, looking through every picture. Everything was timed and dated so there’s no way these are old, he’s even wearing a chain I got him last year for Christmas in a most recent picture.

Seeing him with all these other women was hard, but what broke me was seeing the pictures of him and his family.

Never in my life did I ever think I’d be or wanted to be a homewrecker, I would never get involved with a married man.

This is how Jack found me, a crying mess in the middle of my living room, pictures scattered all over the coffee table.

“Baby?”

“Jessica, what’s wrong mamas?”

I look up at him. “Do you not see what’s on the table?”

He looks confused and goes to pick up a picture “W-what is this shit? Are you spying on me?”

I stand up and glare at him. “That’s what you have to say? Am I spying on you? Jackman you’re married, fucking married and with beautiful children.”

“Jess-“

I shake my head “No, no fuck you. How can you do this to me? To them? Two years, two fucking years and not only with me, with numerous of women too. How can you do that and go back to your family like nothing?”

“If you just let me explain-“

“Explain what? There’s no explanation to any of this mess. The proof is all there.” I point at the pictures. “I’m not spying on you by the way, that was left on my doorstep.”

“These are old pictures baby, you have to believe me. I love you and I’m here with you.”

I chuckle “Nice try, those are recent. Do you want me to show you the videos that came into my email? Having to watch a glimpse into what I thought you only do with me?”

“Jess baby, let’s sit down and talk about this.”

I shake my head. “No, get out.”

“What?”

“I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT.” I yell.

“You played me, you played them. This is fucked up in so many ways. Y-you lied to me, you broke me. This is not something we sit down and talk about.”

I’m a crying mess, I feel my heart beating so fast, I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack. “Baby, calm down, breathe for me.”

“DO NOT TOUCH ME. GET OUT!!!!”

“Jess”

I look at him then push at his chest, “Leave please. If you have any little respect or love for me like you claim you do. Please leave.” I go to sit down on the couch looking down at my hands.

I hear him walking back and forth between the bedroom and living room. Probably getting his stuff

“I’ll check in on you later, I do love you pretty girl. Never forget that.” He comes towards me and I feel him kiss the top of my head and with that he walks out.

I let more tears out, I get up from the couch and grab the pictures and start ripping every single one of them.

I yell.

I cry.

I break things.

I burn the remaining of the pictures.

I threw his clothes out the balcony.

I cry some more.

I’m broken, I’m hurt.

I loved him.

I thought he was the man I would eventually settle down with, get married and have kids.

But I couldn’t do that with a man who was already married and with kids.

One thing is for sure though, I’m going to make sure the rest of the women know who they’re dealing with.

They don’t deserve this.

His wife doesn’t deserve this.

His kids definitely don’t deserve this.

Your mom was right, when she told you, you don’t fall in love at the club.

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow​

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree