#bro immediately clocked my ass

[goldenphoenix4]

the joys (and downfalls) of a therapist who understands fandom life

me: idk i’ve just been feeling kinda shit so i’ve been reading the ‘content warnings needed’ fanfiction.

therapist: you have to stop. you’re literally just retraumatizing yourself all over again.

me: i mean there’s not really a lot of other fics to read in the fand-

therapist, pulling up his ao3 account: there’s currently 11,630 works tagged with fluff in the 9-1-1 fandom. lies. homework for this session is to read more fluff and less angst.

[todayisafridaynight]

had to do the y4 final fight twice (bc i let tanimura die by accident but thats not the point of this) and during daigos the 1st time my head was empty no thoughts BUT 2nd time around i kept begging him to not hit his surrogate papa and saying i didnt want to hit my kid what happened between those two fights that made me go family brained its so funny to me

i should never be a dad because my immediate thought to this ask was 'no kiryu should supplex his dumbass kid actually'

[neat-crows]

So I've been re-watching dr who for the first time ever rn, with a friend who's never seen it before, so I'm seeing all these episodes for the first time since I was 13 and picking up on a LOT that I never noticed before, and holy shit the tenth doctor is SO WEIRD to Martha Jones, and nothing exemplifies that more than the sontaran stratagem/the poison sky.... like..... he is SO weird the whole way down.

When they first see each other again their introduction directly mirrors Jack and The Doctor's in Utopia

"Doctor" "martha Jones" laugh and hug

"doctor" "captain Jack" laugh and hug

And then! they have a normal interaction!!! WIN he asks how her family is and how she is, and they're smiling and genuinely seem like friends very happy to see each other!

And then.... donna drops the fiance bomb.

He turns with a look of.... almost anger? disbelief? and asks WHAT MAN?? Then martha explains who he is and the doctor....

he looks? upset? and then like, resigned? AND THEN martha admits that her fiance is kind of similar to the doctor, and then donna asks "Is he skinny?" and his reactions

is to make a face like "yeahh" AND START NODDING????? like he's taken Martha's admission to mean she's with a man that's just like him, and honestly seems a bit smug over it, and then when Martha says no-

he looks so taken off guard and betrayed ??????????? BRO we are less than 5 minutes in..............

He then proceeds to be tetchy with her, and to be fair this is mostly because of her involvement with unit, and his discomfort with how militaristic she's gotten - which I think comes both from anger at himself for how he's changed her, and also discomfort that she's no longer "his" Martha, she's changed, and he doesn't know her as well anymore.

he tells her off, he's snide and judgmental, he won't even look at her until she tells him to, and he's honestly bitchy - Until she explains herself, and tells him off for being so judgmental, i also think his line "oh so it's my fault" is very telling because..... it literally is? like yes, you put her in situations where she had to become harder and more used to violence......... and he KNOWS it. He's doing what he did all through series 3, which is feel guilty or bad and then take it out on Martha (that's for another post though) until she stands up for herself (get his ass!!) and then when she's finished she looks at him

determined, but eyes darting back and forth waiting for his reaction, on some small level hoping for his approval

and only THEN does he start to smile, and he tells her "that sounds more like Martha Jones." she's back to feeling like she's still his (to him, Martha is acting incredibly normal and platonic). The doctor has always had a weird possessiveness with Martha, going all the way back to their first episode where he hand picked her, and in this second of her looking for his approval, he feels that again, and he IMMEDIATELY started flirting again - please go watch the scene it boggles my mind how fast he switches.

I also want to be clear, Martha isn't flirting back, she's acting extremely normally. She's clearly taken the time away from him to get over, not only romantic feelings, but any anger as well. She seems to have come to terms with how she feels with everything that happened, and she loves and cares about him, but she's not naive to his faults - I also don't think she even picks up on him being weird to her in this scene. She's no longer in tune with his every mood swing, she's not here to fix him, or cater to his needs, and so she no longer notices these small moments from him.

AND THEN.... the clone.

He never flirts with the clone. The ONLY time, is the very first time they interact, before he's realized something is wrong.

he calls her over to come with him, and his face is honestly way too close to hers. bro is a menace. but then, maybe 2 minutes later, he immediately clocks that this is not Martha.

he realizes there has to be a spy and only has to consider for half a second before he turns and asks about her family, he's already realized she's acting a little off, and the second she answers he's 100% certain.

and he gets MAD. he tells her Donna went home because she's not like her, she's not "a soldier" clearly a shot at the sontarans, but also another subtle test, the real Martha wouldn't let that slide, and he wouldn't say that to the real Martha. He continues saying Avanti, instead of Allonse-y, which is interesting, because he already knows. He's not doing this to confirm his suspicions, he's doing this as retaliation. To confirm to himself he knows Martha better than this fake, he's toying with her. BUT. He doesn't go to save Martha.

The next episode, the doctor's daughter, he refuses to accept the label of soldier, but Jenny rightfully points out that he strategizes like one And this is one such moment. He knows Martha is a clone, he's mad and upset, he could go save her right away, but he doesn't. He doesn't because it serves him best to allow her to keep shutting down the nuclear launch.

It reminds me a lot of when Cassandra possessed Rose in New Earth, he played a long for a little bit, but that was just to figure out what was happening. He IMMEDIATELY tried to fix it, I just wonder if it was any other companion if he would have done this. If it was Donna would he have left her for so long? even if it was strategic? it's this weird conflict the doctor has now that he's very very protective and a bit possessive, but he also treats her like an equal on the battlefield, and it's a weird... trust? he has in her to take care of herself.

I kind of don't want to call it trust because that sounds too positive, but I don't know another way to phrase it, but it's a forced independence and self sufficiency.

but then, he finally goes to save her

He goes and cradles her face gently, and NOTABLY says "good, still alive" MEANING HE DIDN'T KNOW??? and still left her for that long...

but he holds her gently, and fully ignores the clone. He has his back to her, and then proceeds to taunt her. He tells her he clocked her right away because of the pupil size, thin hair, and he says she smells. but we know this isn't true.

Sure maybe those physical traits are true, but that's not how he figured it out, we saw how he did it, he clocked on because he knows Martha so well, but he can't admit that. He can't admit that he knows her just as much as she knows him, just like he couldn't tell Rose he loved her.

He is so deeply angry at this clone, he makes fun of her, he yells at her, he looks at her likes she's nothing

This is his face when he kills her. He doesn't talk to her, or even TRY to save her. And we know she is alive, she has memories, and her own thoughts and feelings, and the doctor kills her while gloating because of his immense anger for hurting Martha. An anger that is also guilt.

he does not speak to her like a person (which directly leads into his treatment of Jenny in the next ep).

Parallel that to how Martha treats her, they talk about their family and she even calls the clone Martha. She really is a doctor in a way ten tried and often failed at.

And then at the end, Donna asks Martha to come with them, and she says no, and that she's happy at home, but she's better for having traveled and come back.

And the doctor looks at her

With an obvious sadness, but also acceptance. He clearly wants her here, with him, but I think he's finally come to accept that that'll never happen, and he needs to let her go.

Edit: I Like their dynamic(mostly) This is not an anti tenmartha post Him being a freak is compelling

[sparklingcid3r]

I promised a rumble rundown, so that’s what I’m gonna do. Let’s go🙏 also here's the yt vid i used lol

0:14-0:17

Paul says, “Hello, Darrel. Long time, no see” and then immediately starts checking him out with that upside down smile, ik what u think abt 👁️👁️

0:24-0:27

“I’ll take you” yeah Paul I’m sure u will 🙄 Darry’s cold af w the staredown tho, it’s unfortunate that Pony and Soda have do a full head turn to look at each other like “IKKK he ain’t j said that”

0:27-0:31

DALLAS MY GLORIOUS KING ARRIVES,, shirtless??? And the crowd goes mild‼️ Pony also gets popped in the face and down he goes, it was so good that he was here for just a little bit, everyone say bye now bc the next time he shows up in the fight u won’t even know it’s him I’m deadass

0:48-0:55

Soda is ripping into this guy right, my baby’s a champion!! And then gets up and kinda… walks past Steve getting his ass beat lmao. He even puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder to steady himself as he goes by😭

He just misses the mean double gut punch Steve tanks like the unit he is, because Steve GRABS THIS MAN’S PUNCH and RIPS one across his face, it was beautiful. Masterclass in the ring I’m afraid

0:56-0:58

Okay. I need to give yall the play by play for this single two-second sequence because it was genuinely the greatest clip of cinema I’ve ever seen in my life.

Paul’s got Darry out of frame and he’s confident, dare I say cocky. He’s doing the universal hand signals for “Cmon, hit me bro.”

And I’m gonna say this next part softly. Lean in and listen to me:

When I tell u that Darry clocks Paul in the face, I don’t mean he just clocks Paul in the face. Darry rises like a phoenix from the ashes and swings so hard that everyone around him can feel the aftershocks. Paul has just experienced the equivalent of a steel boxing glove to the dome. Teeth are flying. Paul will have no recollection of this moment for the rest of his life. Take a look at this.

Alr now we back up because YOU CAN SEEEE THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION. This man starts BAILING. The minute Darry spins back, Paul’s got bug eyes, all “Hold up. Wait a minute. He really ‘bout to clock my shit.” He did not want that smoke NEARLY as much as he thought he did, and ykw? I don’t blame him 🤷‍♀️ 

Letting yall know that I had to go back and slow down the playback speed so that I could bask in the glory that is Darrel Curtis’s behemoth of a punch. Geologists are losing their minds wondering how volcanoes are erupting and mountains are shifting, unaware of what just happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

1:00-1:03

Dally bitch slapping a dude is a great way to kick off the one-minute mark, and a good kick to the ribs just for funsies ig. U go girl🫶

1:04-1:07

Hottest Two-Bit has ever looked sorry

1:19-1:21

Alr Dally is literally picking people up and WWE rocking their shit as he slams them to the ground. That kid was dropped neck first. How did Pony not have to write a sequel.

1:22-1:24

Just an entire sequence dedicated to Soda mewing even as he gets bitched in the face. It’s alr tho, he got his get back

1:47-1:49

Istg I’m not tripping, u listen and u can hear Pony screaming for Darry yall I thought this was supposed to be a good time, I’m actually sobbing

1:55-2:01

STEVE CLUTCHES UP??? DEADASSSS that was the CLEANEST three-shot KO I’ve ever seen, then he body flips the guy behind him??? I WASN’T FAMILIAR W UR GAME, RANDLE 🙏

2:09-2:15

The Socs are kind of getting ready to retreat at this point but rq we gotta check in on the exes, Paul’s getting clowned on again lmfao.

This man tried to kick Darry, then when Darry’s got his foot and is getting ready to spin him like that pigskin, he’s PULLING on Darry’s HAIR??? Man, just leave 😭 ur cooked. And the last time we see him, he’s CRAWLING AWAY😭😭 at least STAND UP

2:24-2:27

Pony’s getting washed in a 6v1 it ain’t his fault this time, bless up. Luckily my goat Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr. pulls up and literally starts throwing bodies. Absolutely spectacular that I get to live in the same lifetime as this movie.

2:30-2:32

Darry’s asking, “Ponyboy, you okay?” and some NOBODY tries to grab Darry’s shoulders. Who do u think u are???

3:35-3:45

Greasers get the W👏

So in conclusion I think we can all agree that if u are locked in an iso with Darry, just offer up ur cheek and get it over w. Ur not getting the dub. Roll down ur sleeves and go home, ur benched.

Sorry this is messy af, I'm just having fun rn LMFAO

[spectr3inl0ve]

we cry together is so toxic relationship with dick grayson coded

ESPECIALLY VERSE 2!!!!! (I skipped some lines to fit the story and changed a few words to better fit dick's character </3) also this specific dick is gonna be known as "toxic relationship!dick grayson" (tags)

tw: arguments, toxic relationship, on again off again relationship vibes, allusions to dick cheating on reader with babs

It was inevitable that the two of you would get into another argument - about her. Barbara Gordon. The beautiful, fit, intelligent and witty daughter of the police commissioner James Gordon. Fuck, you were jealous of her. Of what she meant to Dick. You knew that they were a thing before the two of you got together, and yet almost every time he bailed on you it was to see Barbara.

"R/n I swear that there's nothing on between us. It's just work and friendship. I wouldn't do that to you." Dick tries to reason with you, albeit angrily.

"Oh really? Cus I know for a fact that you've cheated on someone with that redheaded hoe!" You hiss, your hands on the island bench as you stare into the guilty eyes of the man before you, your keys resting a few inches from you. He throws his hands up and shakes his head in disbelief. As if he didn't do exactly that to Kori.

"For God's sake, why are you making this so difficult? All we're doing is working. On. A. Case. What don't you understand about that?" Dick annunciate the last part in a slow, firm voice, reminiscent of the voice that one would use to talk to a misbehaving toddler.

"Nah, you're just a lil dick-ass slut that's tryna go big. Tryna make a name for yourself as Gotham's resident whore or what?" with a mirthless chuckle, you use your hands to gesture.

Dick's annoyingly perfect eyebrows furrow, and he smirks, "But you were suckin' this dick though.". This comment throws you off momentarily, but you quickly clap back.

"Well, shit, I shoulda sucked his." who's cock you were referring to? You don't know, and it didn't matter. What mattered right now was pissing Dick off to the point that he'd apologise and to promise to never see Barbara without anyone else present.

This wiped the smirk off of Dick's face immediately, the sudden change was hilarious. If you weren't so infuriated, you would've laughed in his stupid stunned face. "What? Fuckin' repeat what you said."

"I shoulda found a bigger dick." you make sure to punctuate each word with a crisp, satisfying clap, astounding your boyfriend even more. His expression quickly turns sour and bitter.

"What? You mad? Because you can go text that raggedy bitch and tell her you all that she got." You gloat, pointing at the phone in his left hand. With a huff, Dick quickly snatches up your car keys, moving towards the living room to inevitably get away from you. Fuck, you still need to get to work.

"Dick, give me my keys, Imma be late for work." with furrowed eyebrows you follow him, where he stops near the coffee table, arms crossed.

"Fuck your job, today's gonna be the day you walk to that bitch." he scowls, eyes narrowed as he glares at you, giving a quick glance at the clock. 7:58 AM.

You sigh inwardly, pinching your eyebrows, "I need to leave at 8, give me my keys, bro." and the devil that is Dick Grayson lets out a bark of laughter.

"On God, you aren't getting these keys." He raises the keys out of your reach when you make a grab for them, leaving you to accidentally swipe at his upper arm.

"Give me my fucking keys!" You yell, fruitlessly trying to reach for your keys again, to which Dick laughs at again.

"Ah, now you mad at me, I got you hollerin' for nothin'."

"I do the same when we fuckin'."

"Acting like that pussy ain't loose."

"I'd rather act like I'm cummin'."

"I'd rather fuck off that juice."

"I'd rather fuck on your brother."

Dick was about to retort back but he paused. Wait, what? "Bitch, you said you're gonna fuck who?" he hisses, an ugly frown adorning his face and his breath heavy. At this point his arms are folded again, your keys tucked into a large hand.

A bitter smirk on your face, you reply, "You heard me, bitch, it's nothing.". Your heart is racing, was that too far? Definitely, but if it makes him feel even a fraction of how you feel when he's with Babs, then it's worth it.

Dick carelessly chucks your car keys onto the coffee table behind him, stalking backing you into the couch as he stares you down. Fuck, you're in for it now. You're forced to sit, with how in your face he is and you cross your own arms. Two can play that game. You glower up at him, daring him to say or do something.

"That better be nothing. No one knows you better than I do. No one." he scowls, moving a hand to cup your cheek.

[emmyrosee]

doodoo fart 🦨 would you still love me if I was bald?

Rintaro doesn’t even get a chance to finish the water his sipping before he spits it back out, choking on it as he laughs aloud in front of his teammates.

The entire team turns to look at him, a brow cocked in confusion while he chuckles amongst himself.

Komori is the first to smile and chuckle himself, “something you’d like to share with the group, Suna?”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before shaking his head, never being one to share your discussions with the group. He has an image, okay, and you being an absolute cracked menace is going to bring that image down one day- this, he’s convinced of.

“The better half’s just funny is all,” he says casually, watching his team begins to chatter once again in the locker room. Komori gives him an unconvinced, yet understanding look before letting him back to his phone where he’s finally able to face your

SENT is there something I need to be prepared for when I get home?

doodoo fart 🦨 depends on how you reply

would you

still love me

if i was bald

SENT I feel like this is a trap.

doodoo fart 🦨 you’re the one who leaves me alone all the time

im bound to fuck around when you’re gone.

Once again, Rintaro laughs to himself before he rises to excuse himself from the crowd. The possibility of you being bald is plenty to excite him and his amusement, wondering if you’ve done something unholy to your poor head.

He thinks you’d be hot with no hair. And wash days would just be such a breeze. Maybe there’s some merit to your potential madness.

He presses the small button to FaceTime you, settling up a small distance from the door- you’ve both been known to say some unsavory things, the last thing you need is to give Washio another reason to retire.

The phone rings once, twice, and a third before you answer, your ugly stunning face filling his screen. To his shame, his eyes immediately dart to the scalp of hair that still adorns your head, and he bites his lip as you cackle a victorious cheer.

He’s been duped by your stupid ass.

“I knew you’d take my bait,” you snicker. He laughs as he’s caught red handed, poking his tongue in the corner of his mouth while you laugh. “You think you’re soooo slick, like you aren’t obsessed with me. You aren’t shit, bro.”

“I’ve been letting you hang out with the twins too much,” he snickers, leaning against the brick wall of the stadium. “Though I would’ve scream-laughed if you answered the phone and was completely bald.” You snort and he cards a massive hand through his sweaty hair, “there a reason you triggered a panic response in me at-“ he pauses and looks at the clock in the corner of his phone “15:44 on a Tuesday?”

“Because you’re cute when you’re panicked,” you hum, and he gives you his signature blank stare before chuckling when you laugh. “I mean it! Your pupils go a little dilated, you card your hair until it’s all fluffy, and you get this adorable blush-“

“I got it, you pay attention to me,” he groans, hand scrubbing down his face. “You’re so embarrassing.”

“You love me so much, man.”

“Shut up-“

“Truly living rent free in that noggin.”

“I’m gonna tell Komori on you.”

“Good, he’ll tell you the same thing,” you snort, and Rintaro shakes his head, grinning, as a sign of waving his white flag. “Go back to practice, booger. I’ll bug you later.”

“Promise?” He says, smiling while you give him a fake gag.

“After that, I don’t know.”

“I’ll take those odds.” He chuckles again before murmuring a soft ‘love you’ and hanging up; he pockets his phone and makes his way back into the arena.

Bald or not, and as much as he hates to confess it, he does adore your stupid ass and the antics that come with it.

Ugh.

[nockstormbringer]

Of Darkness & Lightning || Jason Grace

Synopsis → Jason Grace in a relationship with a child of Nyx.

Warnings → Almost drowning, reader lowkey being a stalker, mention of Zeus and Hera. Yes, they are their own warning.

A/n → My friend is sitting next to me and requesting that I write cars having sex. He read that and gave a thumbs up. Also, this is a request, but they had four prompts so this is like prompt one.

Word Count → 1357

↳ I can imagine you two meeting while he's at Camp Half Blood, after he's just gotten back from his quest with Leo and Piper. 

↳ He’s heading back to Cabin 1, ready for another night of sleeping on the window ledge, the only place in the cabin in which the statue couldn’t stare at him.

↳ When he walks past one of the newer cabins, he spots its singular resident sitting on the porch, messing around with something he couldn't see.

↳ He shrugs it off but keeps walking, looking out for the harpies as it was getting close to the curfew.

↳ Soon enough, he notices the same demigod sitting swinging on the Aphrodite porch swing, a book in hand.

↳ He slows his pace, taking in the view before speeding his walk up and attempting to ignore the figure hanging out where they probably shouldn't be and logically shouldn’t be at.

↳ He passes the Poseidon cabin, approaching his own, when the same person from the previous weird incidences walks down his porch, past him and shoulder checks him.

↳ He's confused. That shouldn't be possible. He can’t have seen the same person three times…

↳ Was it a set of triplets messing with him? Was Hera messing with his mind again, and making him see things not actually there?

↳ He ignores it for the night, too tired to question much else as he walks into his cabin.

↳ For whatever reason, his instincts are telling him to be wary of the figure. Why? That part, he doesn’t get.

↳ After several more incidents like this, he somewhat figures out what's going on, after having asked around a bit. 

↳ He catches you off guard one day, while you're swimming alone.

“Do you happen to be stalking me because of who our parents are?”

↳ Is what he wanted to ask, but a ball flying at his head knocks him off the deck and into the water, scaring you at the sudden splash right behind you.

↳ Bro can’t not get a head injury for a week.

↳ He isn't knocked unconscious, just ends up with a headache, but that doesn't change the sudden shock of him suddenly being in the infirmary, still drenched with water.

“How did we get here?”

↳ He's sputtering, water dripping down his face as he sits up properly.

“You still haven't figured that part out? Thought you were Zeus’ pride and joy or whatever.”

↳ Ensues long ass conversation of what the whole purpose of you basically stalking him was.

↳ Thinks it's one of the weirder conversations he’s had.

↳ But this leads to a very odd friendship between you two.

↳ As friends, you both work well together, training with each other on occasion.

↳ He doesn’t like using his powers on you, seeing as its lightning and that shit can kill people, but you constantly use yours against him. Sneaking up behind him, suddenly disappearing when you two are talking. Just general shadow travel to mess with the boy.

↳ I bet once during training, you disappeared in the shadows while he was swinging his sword, reappeared behind him and kicked him in the back of the legs.

↳ His brain basically froze, he did NOT know how to react to that. No one’s ever done that to him so it was a first.

↳ He thinks the way you use your powers while training is super interesting.

↳ After a certain point, he constantly feels warm around you. He doesn’t feel like he needs to try around you, like he doesn’t have to be the Demigod son of Zeus or Hera's champion. Just Jason.

↳ On several occasions, you’ve joined Jason when he’s hanging out with the Lost Trio. Leos’ quite flirty, though backs off when he sees Jason glowering from where he stands (which is right next to you).

↳ Piper clocks in and IMMEDIATELY knows that he’s caught feelings.

↳ She decides to help out, by cornering him and integrating him. Truthfully, he hadn’t actually been fully aware of his feelings. He knew something was going on, he just hadn’t figured it would be romantic feelings.

↳ Piper, in a very kind gesture, sets you two up on a date. 3 times.

↳ Jason’s hopeless.

↳ During the 3rd date, which by this point, you’ve figured it all out pretty much (with a few pointers from Piper), and you just mess with him.

↳ Grabbing his hand, and intertwining your fingers, messing with his hair, kissing his hands and cheeks, referring to him as your boyfriend when you guys go to the camp store.

↳ Just generally bullying him. For fun of course.<3

↳ When he walks you back to your cabin after the date, he tries to give you a kiss, but you stop him.

“I don’t kiss people who I’m not dating. With that said, I really do want to kiss you.”

↳ I fear you may only be so confident because you know he likes you.

“Can I be your boyfriend then?”

↳ He’s trying so hard to play cool, but his heart is hammering out of his chest and he fears you can hear it too.

↳ Anyway, y’all have a kissy and now you’re dating. :33

↳ Oh my god, finally that took forever.

↳ I feel like you make him nervous, not the same way Nyx scares Zeus, but in a sense, similarly.

↳ At a constant, his heart beats rapidly, he stumbles over his words, he bounces his leg, he fidgets.

↳ He definitely rubs circles into your hand when you hold hands. He might be nervous but he still wants to be a source of comfort.

↳ Super protective, like, bros a watchdog.

↳ You both get scary dog privileges from each other. Like, people fear both you and Jason, although for somewhat different reasons. Jason, as he is a Roman demigod and is the son of Zeus, and you are the demigod kid of Nyx, the only one who truly scared the king of gods.

↳ Jason’s big on communication, constantly asking your opinion of what he should do that day, like maybe practicing his archery, his arts n’ crafts skills, or skip all the activities and sneak off with you.

↳ A lot of your guys’ dates consist of walking along the perimeter of camp, helping Leo with his ship and forcing him and Piper to 3rd wheel, as wheel as sneaking away from camp and doing normal teenage things on occasion, you’ll drag the rest of the Lost Trio, which isn’t the worse thing cause they amuse you.

↳ He prefers sleeping in your cabin, as it's nowhere near as disturbing as the statue of his father constantly staring at him and he's not as lonely, seeing as he shares the cabin with you, and your half siblings.

↳ When cuddling, he likes holding you against him, whether your back,side or chest is pressed against him, he hugs you close, which in turn keeps you warm and feeling secure.

↳ Jason wakes up before you, as his natural clock is permanently set before the average human is awake and thus watches you sleep. Sometimes, he traces your features with a finger, pushing the hair away from your face and lightly kisses you from your nose, to your shoulders, to the top of your hair.

↳ Neither of you ever have money except for drachmas, but that doesn’t work as a currency in the mortal world, so instead of buying flowers or anything for you, he hand picks flowers (with help from the Demeter kids) and makes you stuff during Arts n’ Crafts.

↳ He’s made some stuff like a “Jar of Words of Affirmation,” a scrapbook of things the two have done over the period of your relationship and just general things about the two of you, and many origami roses.

↳ Origami roses are so cool, I love them. I always make them for valentines day cause I never have money to buy things for people.

↳ I digress though, but Jason always protects you in combat, just as much as he would anyone else, but if he could have it his way, he’d fight all of your battles.

↳ Jason overall is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend, with how he loves you and shows you he loves you. <3

[tsumtsumrry]

my masterlist 🤍

tiny disclaimer: everything here is stuff that has been posted on this account, to find any of my old stuff that hasn't been posted here you'd have to go to my old account ch3rrybabyhon3y. i would post everything here but i'd feel so annoying flooding the tags lol. if there's anything specific you'd like to see/read again, send me an ask and i'll be more than happy to post it. kisses.

ordered from new to old 🤍

indicators: smut ☆ fluff ❁ angst ♪

one-shots:

Doctor's Orders: in which you have an interesting visit with your gynecologist when you come to him with an inconvenient problem.

or

“M’name is Dr. Harry Styles. You can call me Harry, Dr. Styles, or Doc. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m personally fine with it all. I know your name already and…” he blows out a breath with his eyes comically wide “…basically your entire medical history so I think it’s safe to say we’re well acquainted!” You take his hand and shake it softly, a small giggle leaving your lips. You don’t miss the way he glances down at the contact. His hand feels nice. And you know it’s weird to be thinking that about your doctor, especially when that same hand will probably be somewhere near your genitals in the next couple of minutes, but his hand feels really nice against yours. Calloused and sturdy, yet gentle and soft.

You appreciate how he immediately got in tune with how cracking jokes made you more comfortable. It feels like extra effort to you and a warm feeling blooms in your chest at how attentive he is. You can tell that he cares about his patients and takes pride in his job, and it makes you feel so much more comfortable. 

“Okay m’darling. Says you’re here for a regular check up. Are you sure there’s no concerns? Nothing we should be worryin’ about? S’more helpful if you tell me now so I know what to look for.” His hand goes out to motion you to lie down on the examination table. You oblige and he grins at you again, waiting for your response. 

Second Visit (part two)

Film Bro: in which sleepy best friend Harry gets a little too worked up while you guys cuddle. ☆☆❁

or

The poor baby’s worked himself up somehow and doesn’t even realize what he’s doing, doesn’t realize how needy he is. His face wears a tortured expression, his eyebrows arched and pushed tightly together. The desperate soft sounds continue to leave his slightly parted lips and all you can think about in this moment is how much you want to kiss his lips, soft and bitten. 

Honestly, you’re at a loss of what to do in this situation. Do you wake him? Do you let him keep going until he ruins his pants? Do you just will yourself to go back to sleep and pretend this never happened? You know that last one’s definitely not going to work considering how ridiculously turned on you are. With every thrust against your ass, an onslaught of butterflies assault your stomach and you feel the pool in your underwear only getting wetter. 

You don’t want to stop him. 

Favorite Holiday: in which you and Harry are friends with benefits ☆❁ ♪

or

"He plans to take you home tonight, you can tell. You two have been going at this for months, the no-strings-attached sex thing. You think it’s easy enough. There’s never been any real difficulties, just the fact that you’re trying to keep it discreet. 

The first kiss was at the New Years party. You were both tipsy, he confessed that he always had a little fixation on you and how you looked in “all those pretty outfits you like to wear” and you confessed that him and his “fancy british accent”, “pretty tattoos”, and “ridiculously charming personality” never failed to have you imagining kissing those incredibly soft looking lips. 

He looked at you for a second, his gaze moving from your lips to your eyes as if he was trying to gauge where your head was at. Then, at the perfect timing, the clock turned twelve and your lips were intertwined. The rest is history."

Sex Therapist: in which Harry helps you out a bit, and he's not actually a sex therapist. (but he might as well be)☆❁

or

"“Maybe you need someone familiar.”

You can tell he almost regretted it when he said it, but there was also something of what seemed like determination in his eyes. You can only imagine the mental battle he’s having right now.

“Someone…familiar?” You say, your tone is nothing less than breathless.

“Mhm…someone you know, someone you trust, someone that can take care of you.” You know Harry’s noticed your change in breathing, the way you tried to subtly press your thighs together, you know he’s noticed and that’s why his voice has lowered to a calculated sultry tone that you know he only reserves for times like this. He’s downright seducing you and you don’t seem to have a problem with it, “any ideas?”

Good Boy: in which harry is a brat. ☆❁

or

"“So sit down, and listen to me like a good boy.” she says, watching as Harry rolls his eyes. She scoffs because she knows it’s all an act, but also because she knows he’ll regret this later, when he’s on his second denial and begging her to just ‘please, baby let me come’. She knows he’ll regret it.

“No? This is how we’re doing it tonight? Alright then.” She loves it when Harry is soft and submissive and just does whatever she wants off the bat, but she can’t deny the fun in making him submit. She knows he loves it too.

Harry, is on cloud nine, he loves this, he lives for it. Being forced to submit, making her hurt him. Gives him a high like no other, really gets him going. Sometimes he regrets being smart with her when he’s on third orgasm, or his third denied orgasm, but still, he loves it."

Morning After: in which you wake up next to harry after your first night together. ☆❁

or

"They had sex for the first time. 

In no way were they virgins, but it was just as special as anyone’s first time. She had been holding off on having sex with anyone since her last relationship, scared to give all she had to someone only for them to hurt her and walk away like her ex did. She never wanted to feel that pain again. 

She was dead-set on becoming a nun before Harry found her and swept her off her feet. He loved and cared for her, showing her he would never hurt her like her ex did. It took some time, but she finally learned to trust Harry. And as soon as her walls broke down, she loved and trusted him fully. She gave her all to him. 

Harry wasn’t expecting from her, he just wanted to love her. So when the opportunity came to love on her, there’s no way he could’ve passed that up."

Piper: in which sub-harry let's go. ☆❁

or

"Piper shakes her head at his pout and opens her mouth to speak, “I have an idea.“

Harry’s eyebrows furrow and his pout lessens a little bit, “wha’ is it?” He’s talking slower and thicker due to how overcome with lust he is and Piper fight the urge to shift her thighs at the sound of it.

“Well…” she pauses to give him a slow kiss, “you’ve been working so hard lately, been so good. Was thinking I could dedicate a night to just you. Hmm? Make you cum so hard you see stars?”

Harry’s mouth parts slightly at her words and he tries to prevent his eyes from rolling back into his head at the butterflies that just swarmed through every part of his body."

Alexa: in which you're an assistant for one direction ❁♪

or

"“Do you want a coffee or something? I feel weird just standing here without getting you something…” Alexa mumbles and Harry’s face falls. Her words served a (very) painful reminder that she just worked for him. She was forced to be around him. Doesn’t mean she liked him. After all she only came up to him because Niall told her he needed help with something. Harry feels pathetic.

“No…no thank you.” he murmurs and Alexa nods quickly and turns on her heel to walk away.

Harry doesn’t understand why he can’t just talk to her. Every other “employee” feels like a friend (or even family) to him. Why can’t he cross that line with the one person he wants to?"

She: in which we dream with harry ❁☆♪

or

"The drive of his life, where his passion is derived from. He wouldn’t be where he is without her.

Some people may say it’s foolish to be so codependent on a dream, but he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. As long as he keeps seeing her when he closes his eyes, he’s at peace.

He imagines the color of her skin, the smoothness of her body, the volume of her hair, the sound of her voice. Every day he imagines it all. Every day he dreams about it."

Laura: in which you've had enough. ♪♪

or

"She hates herself for feeling weak, for showing him any emotion. She’s stuck between wanting him to know that he’s hurting her and not wanting to give him the power to know that he has any affect on her at all.

“You keep acting like you didn’t know how it was going to b-” Harry starts, but Laura interjects with an angry incredulous tone, feeling like if this were a cartoon you would surely see the steam coming out from her ears.

“Are you kidding me? This isn’t how it was when it first started, even when you were doing the first album, hell, even when you were on fucking tour! This is an us thing, this isn’t just a ‘studio’ thing and you know it!”

blurbs/asks:

sub ceo harry ❁☆

friends to lovers h ❁❁

sex with h headcannons ☆❁

friends to lovers angst ♪❁

sub bestfriendrry finding your vibe ☆❁

request that's basically just porn (lol) ☆☆

subby co-worker harry ☆☆

enjoy to all your heart's content. love you loads and loads. kisses. 🤍

[walmartbrandwhatever]

Marbit figure skating au stuff because I cannot stop thinking about this. Will I write this into a fanfic? Probably. Anyways this turned out super long please if anyone wants to yap about this my dms and asks are open.

-Marcia first getting into figure skating because of her mom.

-like her mom is a really artistic person in general and it was something her parents both did for fun and taught her how to skate.

-It was something she could have control over and not worry about how to fit in and if she was doing things right. It allowed her to express herself in ways she had never thought about before.

-Two-bit truly got Into hockey because soda wanted to try it out but didn't want to do it alone.

-but the more they practiced together the more in love he fell into with it.

-hockey helped keep him from spiraling down a dark road, gave him an outlet to let out on instead of drinking himself Into the ground.

-anyways two and mar use the same rink to practice in, both preferring to practice at night.

-one day the rink accidentally booked both of them atthe same time. Two being too stubborn to just let her have it and mar refusing to give up any practice time they both just end up arguing with each other about who gets it.

-this goes on for awhile them always fighting for the rink. One day Two comes in with Soda to practice and sees Marcia already there running her routine with Cherry yelling out corrections.

-Two hadn't actually ever seen her practice before but seeing her be so connected to the music blasting through the speakers and the emotions clear on her face he couldn't help the grin that worked its way onto his face.

-Soda clocks this immediately and is like "dude ur so down right bad stop"

-Ofc he denied it but Mar comes over and says he could have the rink. He stops her before she leaves and comes up with a compromise. She gets it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday while he gets it every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday and they’ll alternate Sunday.

-She smiles and puts out her hand to shake on it. Two-bit right there thinks she's by far the prettiest girl he's ever seen. He's all fumbling over himself as they shake on it and she leaves

-soda shaking his head knowing that either this will be a super bad thing or a good thing for two-bit

-Cherry also clocks this but she's too focused on the other boy she recognized. Soda and her both exchanged a look seeing their friends fumbling over eachother before Cherry drags Marcia out of the rink.

-W/the new schedule both don't run into each other as much which both of them are lowkey sad about.

-they meet again after they both switched up who day it was for Sunday. They both almost immediately try to let the other have it before deciding they can take turns.

-Two-bit watches her work on her performance first and is just basically sitting there in awe.

-Two notices Marcia getting frustrated as she keeps failing this one jump and Two goes onto the ice and offers to help her land it.

-she takes it after a few more tries. Him gently placing his hands on her hips before lifting her and showing her how much more momentum she actually needed.

-with the newly advice she tries it and to her surprise it actually works. She just has this big ass grin on her face as she turns to two celebrating and he's just watching her with a grin plastered on his own face.

-she skates over and hugs him, thanking him for the help before pulling away and saying he could have the rink.

-bro is so down right bad for her.

-him going home that night and is like kicking his feet n shit as he's talking to soda about her.

-Cherry is also hearing everything from Marcia who is just as equally down right bad for this man.

-Cherry is also keeping it very to herself but her and Soda are talking the entire time two n marcia are working through their own thing.

-anyways Cherry drags Marcia to one of Two-Bits and sodas games. It's the first time Marcia has seen Two in action with his team. It's actually so bad.

-he spots her towards the end of the game and he has the biggest smile on his face the second they meet eyes. He winks at her before going back into the game.

-also two is a figher, that mf is CONSTANTLY beefing w/someone on the rink

-that game he and this other guy immediately start brawling and that scares the shit outta Marcia. She's never really liked fighting.

-past relationships that didn't end to well really pushed that fact, so not expecting it. It threw her off.

-two seeing the absolute horror on Marcia's face afterwards did not make him feel good. Typically he feels amazing after fight, well not amazing but it gives him adrenaline but seeing the utter fear resting in her eyes it did nothing but drain the life otta him.

-after the game he immediately heads over to her, apologizing the second she even registers it was him talking. He's all over the place but he just wanted to set things right and make sure she was alright

-that was a lot more than what some of the past guys she's dated has ever done for her so it definitely won her over. She tells him that it was already and just said she wasn't expecting it considering she actually didn't know much about hockey.

-he offers to teach her some things about hockey only if she teaches him about figure skating.

-the next day they both go to the rink and stick to their promise.

-instead of actually practicing that week they just go back n forth teaching eachother tricks and the basics

-anyways they finally get together after one of their little skate sessions. Two-bit has been planning on asking her out for awhile and he's a whole mess.

-it had actually been Darry who convinced him to ask her out. Two-bits constant chatter about Marcia Darry was finally like "dude just ask her out if it'll get you to shut up🫶"

-pretty much everyone else agreed. (Their annoyance was outta love)

-Two is like sweating as he stops her before she leaves for the night and is like visibly freaking out. Eventually he spita out a "anyways would you idk like to go out. Like to dinner? With uh me?"

-she has that smile two-bit always loves to see. She presses a quick kiss onto his cheek before agreeing and leaving without another word.

-and two-bit? Yeah absolutely dead. He stands there for a solid 5 minutes before steve Steve who was giving him a ride comes in asking what was holding him up.

-Two-bit just gently holding his cheek with a huge grin says it all.

-marcia that night is kicking her feet and screaming to Cherry about it.

-after a few dates Marcia is the one to officially ask him to be her boyfriend and he almost immediately says yes.

-they don't really tell anyone they are together but the gang can tell

-Ace totally sees Marcia at some point and does the whole "if you hurt him" speech before leaving her w/that.

Anyways I have so many more ideas that are riddled w/angst. I can't tell how old I want they do be. Like are they really far into their careers? Do I want marcia to qualify for the Olympics? Idk I'm still cooking but yall trust I will write this into a fic. Also if you use this au or hcs please credit me 🫶 I would appreciate it. LOVE U ALL MWAHH🫶🫶🫶.

[readreactrant]

Is this getting animated this season or do I just go cry into my pillow?!?

Bro clocked their asses immediately lmaoooo

[putaposyinyourhair]

Slowly but Also Like All at Once

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

noah diaz x mirage (the ship of dreams or whatever that old bitch said in titanic)

warnings : reek gets his own flirt on, noah is tired™️, and breanna diaz is here but she ain't here to play

side note: this fic is also on ao3!

Noah’s kind of glad that as soon as he has the apartment door unlocked, Reek shoves him aside and barges his way inside like he owns the place. Because not a second later, a chancla comes flying across the room and slaps into the wall not one foot away from Reek’s head— the poor guy freezing up immediately, his eyes wide.

“Ma!” Noah admonishes, pocketing his keys and pushing past Reek so he can set down his box of electronics atop the short bookcase his ma insists on using as a foyer table. “You can’t just be whippin’ those around! You’re gonna seriously injure somebody that ain’t me one of these days.”

His ma has both her hands over her mouth, like she recognizes her mistake too, and when she lowers them, Noah can see she has the decency to at least look sheepish about nearly clocking his friend with her slipper. Still, it doesn’t stop her from also outright glaring at him— like it’s his fault.

“Pero escuché tu voz, so I thought it was you, and you deserve it,” she snaps at him pointedly, before she looks to Reek. “Reek, honey, I’m so sor—” she cuts herself off with a sharp gasp at the sight of all the blood on the lower half of Reek’s face.

“What the hell happened?” she demands instead, clearly concerned. Although the concern doesn’t last very long. Because she seems quick to come to her own conclusions and narrows her eyes at the both of them.

“You boys weren’t out gettin’ into trouble, were you? I swear to God, you two are gonna—”

The loud slam of a door sounds from down the hall.

“Is that Sonic?” Kris cries, rushing into the room like the namesake should be his instead.

Noah grins widely, toeing off his sneakers and simultaneously slipping off his backpack— letting it fall to the floor beside the bookcase with a small thud— just in time to catch his little brother who comes flying at him and nearly knocks the breath straight out of him with what feels like the world’s tightest hug.

“You missed it!” Kris proclaims eagerly, pulling back only far enough to look up at Noah. “I almost beat Bowser! I was so close!”

“Damn, really?” Noah inquires, reaching up to ruffle the kid’s curls affectionately. “That’s cool, bro. Just a few more tries and you gon’ get his ass. I know it.”

Kris beams and pulls away completely, releasing Noah, before he looks over at Reek and frowns, one brow arching.

“Who beat the shit out of you?” he queries openly.

“Language, Kris!” their ma shouts from the kitchen, where she’s already gathered some napkins and is bent over under the kitchen sink, probably looking for that bottle of rubbing alcohol they keep down there. “Reek, sweetie, come over here so we can get your face cleaned up.”

Reek relaxes— his momentary stupor fading— and his lips curl up into a dreamy sort of smile as he kicks off his sneakers then floats across the room to lean against the kitchen table.

Noah narrows his eyes at the other man, already knowing where this is going.

Noah’s ma slaps Reek’s knees open so she can step in between them to be able to reach his face— she’s already kicking up a fuss, telling Reek he has to take better care of himself— and Reek, of course, can’t help the self-satisfied little smirk he shoots in Noah’s direction.

Noah’s hands ball into fists at his sides.

“You hit on my mama one time today man, just one, and I’m throwing your ass out the window,” Noah warns him. Because, unfortunately, it’s a thing.

Reek, the absolute bastard, swears that one day he’s going to bag Breanna Diaz.

Which is absurd.

The only way that’s ever going to happen is if it’s right over Noah’s dead body.

“Ay, Noah, don’t be ridiculous,” his ma chastises casually, shaking her head as she dabs at Reek’s nose with a wad of wet napkins— completely oblivious to the fact that Reek is practically preening under her care. “Reek, how did this happen?”

Before Reek can respond, Kris looks up at Noah with a frown.

“And why didn’t you come home for dinner last night?” he questions. Their ma scoffs.

“You mean why he didn’t come home at all,” she points out, glancing over with a look on her face that clearly reads as disapproval. “You could at least call, mijo.”

Noah releases a sharp sigh, his shoulders drooping as he deflates under the weight of the guilt.

Kris wanders away from him, sauntering over to their ma and Reek so he can get a closer look at the damage on Reek’s face.

“I know, ma,” Noah acquiesces, defeated and exhausted, even as he reaches up behind his neck to grab at the collar of his Henley so he can pull it off— he’s been wearing it for over twenty-four hours at this point, and all he really wants is a shower. “I’m sorry. I just… I got caught up.”

His ma looks over for a second, both brows arched, before she returns to the task at hand.

“Ooh,” Kris teases. “Is it a girl? It’s a girl, isn’t it? What’s her name?”

Noah rolls his eyes at his baby brother’s antics, reaching down to unbuckle his belt and laughing when his ma presses a napkin soaked in rubbing alcohol to Reek’s nose, pulling an incredibly high-pitched yelp from the man’s throat.

Reek narrows his eyes at Noah.

“Oh, you think that’s funny, huh?”

Noah grins crookedly at him, his shirt and belt clutched in one hand.

“It’s hilarious, dude.”

The slow menacing look-and-smirk combination that distorts Reek’s face is quite frankly terrifying and Noah stills, tensing.

Reek leans back, just slightly, and his gaze slides over to Kris.

“Nah, li’l man, there ain’t no girl,” he drawls wickedly. “Our boy Noah over here, he’s a man of taste. He’s got a preference for something different; little metal, some rubber, six cylinders.”

Noah wants to wrangle his thick ass neck with his bare hands.

Kris’ lips purse to the side, his forehead scrunching— clearly bewildered.

“For the last time, man,” Noah snaps. “I didn’t fu—” he cuts himself off with a sharp inhale, throwing his hands into the air— completely done with trying to deny it any further— before he exhales at length.

Reek’s just going to believe what he wants anyway. Fuck it.

Noah’s ma glances over at him again, one perfectly plucked brow arched in question.

“I’ma go shower,” Noah decides, then points a long finger at Reek. “You better not still be in my damn house by the time I get out. I swear to God, bro.” He crosses the room and pretends not to hear Kris asking Reek what he meant by metal, rubber, and cylinders.

“Ay, mijo, por qué eres tan grosero?” his ma calls after him as he goes, and Noah does his best to not react when he hears her add on a quieter, “Well, there’s clearly no girl. He wouldn’t have a stick up his ass if he was seein’ any action.”

Reek’s raucous laughter echoes down the hall, following Noah right into the bathroom.

Noah slams the door closed behind him.

“Carajo, Noah! Don’t be slammin’ doors in my house!”

Noah huffs, dropping his shirt into the hamper that’s wedged in between the toilet and the sink— where it’s not supposed to be, because Kris has a habit of getting up during the night to piss, and being half-asleep, he drips all over the place. It’s nasty. His little brother’s kind of a slob but being the baby, their ma just keeps letting him get away with it.

Noah hangs his belt off of one of the hooks behind the door before he turns to the mirrored vanity cabinet and takes a second to study his reflection.

His curls are wild and he’s pretty sure he can still spot sand in there. The bags under his eyes are puffy and a slightly deeper color than usual and— Noah leans in closer— his lips look like they’ve been bitten raw, no doubt courtesy of the wild rollercoaster ride of emotions he’d experienced overnight.

All in all, he looks like shit.

With an utterly drained sigh, Noah slips out of both his jeans and boxer briefs and tosses them into the hamper as well, before he throws open the shower curtain and steps into the bathtub.

He showers rather quickly— which is kind of a miracle because he’d honestly thought getting all the sand out of his hair would take a lot longer. He washes up in a sort of automatic way, his hands and body going through the motions, while his mind wanders.

He finds himself going over every single moment of the last twenty-four hours with a fine-toothed comb. From heading into the garage the day before, wondering if he’d ever see his mech friend again. To Mirage’s sudden miraculous return— which Noah can still hardly believe even happened. To spending the night with the bot on that beach in Long Island under the lighthouse.

And getting the chance to meet Ratchet. Noah makes a mental note to thank the medic when or even if he gets the chance.

Ratchet had managed to do what Noah couldn’t; fix Mirage.

Ratchet had been the one to right Noah’s colossal fuck-up with the plate he’d cracked in half.

Ratchet had given him his best friend back.

Noah owes him a lot.

His mind shifts then, turning his attention to the metaphorical elephant in the room; the offer to join the autobots on their, hopefully simple, scouting mission to Colorado.

He purposely ignores the tiny voice in the back of his head— the one that, obnoxiously, sounds like Reek— that tries to remind him the mission isn’t the only metaphorical elephant in the room.

There’s also the matter of Mirage’s completely spontaneous flirting.

Because, yeah, Noah can definitely recognize it for what it is now. He might not have any game himself but he’s not that dense.

Plus, Reek had clearly read and interpreted it as just so— coming to the assumption after hearing just one of Mirage’s lines.

The man had badgered Noah the whole way up to the apartment over it; over whether or not Noah had ‘fucked the car.’

He’s honestly more surprised over the fact that the man had managed to go straight from ‘the car talks’ to ‘did you fuck it, Noah’ than over the fact that Reek apparently has zero issues with Noah theoretically fucking a car.

Which is wild. Especially seeing as Reek is completely unaware that the aforementioned car is actually a twelve foot alien.

But he’s not thinking about any of that though.

No. He’s thinking about whether or not he’s ready to drop everything— drop his entire life, not that he really has much going on at the moment— to go on an impromptu road trip with a bunch of aliens. To the Rockies. To possibly locate another alien. One that may or may not be one of the bad guys.

“Fuck,” Noah sighs, reaching out to turn off the water.

He wonders when his life got so complicated.

Unbidden, a vivid image of Mirage fucking with him as he’d tried to jimmy the lock and open the door on the Porsche simultaneously comes to mind.

Right.

That’s when.

Noah pulls a towel out of the bathroom closet— a blue one because his ma has them color-coordinated and assigned; Noah’s are blue, Kris’ are green, and hers are red. The woman’s surprisingly laid back about a lot of stuff— for example, Kris being an utter slob— but bathroom linens are not one of them.

Noah’s not sure why and at this point in his life, he’s kind of scared to ask. It’s easier to just roll with it.

He dries off then wraps his towel around his waist and steps back over to the mirror so he can try and get his curls under control. If he doesn’t, they’ll just dry up all frizzy and crazy. And he hates it when that happens. Because he’s kind of lazy and he won’t bother trying to fix it, he’ll just wear a cap over it every time he steps out of the house until he washes his hair again.

When he’s satisfied, Noah turns and steps out of the bathroom.

“Damn, mami, that’s cold,” he instantly hears— Reek’s voice coming from the kitchen. “Why you gotta do me like that?”

The asshole is still in his house, hitting on his ma. The kitchen’s out of view from where Noah’s standing just outside the bathroom so he can’t see his friend but he narrows his eyes in that general direction anyway.

Then, an idea pops into his head. And his lips curl.

“Reek, man if you don’t get yo’ ass outta my house, I’ma tell Rosie from downstairs about your special friendship with that white girl from Staten Island!”

He hears an abrupt thud from the kitchen and watches gleefully as Reek trips his way across the room, apologizing to his ma and telling her he has to go because he thinks he, ‘left the stove on.’

Chump.

Noah grins when the front door slams, signifying the other man’s departure. Then he spins around and strolls languidly into his bedroom, lips pursed smugly. He shuts his bedroom door behind him with a foot so he can change into a fresh pair of boxer briefs then throws on a random pair of basketball shorts and a wife beater, before immediately throwing himself face first onto his bed, groaning loudly as his body relaxes into the mattress.

He gazes up at the stuff on his wall— his Wu-Tang Clan poster and his vinyl sleeves— for a moment. 

But he must fall asleep immediately after that because one second he’s blinking at the Puerto Rican flag on his wall and the next, he’s waking up on his side, facing the bedroom door, after hearing his name be called in a low sort of hiss.

Kris is standing underneath the frame of his bedroom door, staring at him with a sort of apprehensive look on his face. He keeps glancing back over his shoulder to his own room every other second.

“Hmm?” Noah slurs, still half-asleep and struggling to keep his eyes open. “Wassup, Tails?”

Kris’ wide-eyed gaze snaps back over to him.

“Dude, Knuckles is in my room.”

Noah groans, lifting a hand to wave the kid away.

“That don’t even make no sense, Kris,” he grunts out. “He wouldn’t fit.” With that said, Noah pulls his pillow out from beneath his face and covers his head with it, hoping his little brother will take it for what it is; a dismissal.

“He says he’s taking you to Colorado?”

It takes a second for Kris’ words to register.

But when they do, Noah’s pretty sure he sets the world record for the fastest anyone’s ever jumped out of bed

[ohcorny]

i need to post loic soulsov character analysis because if i don't i'll die. he's been plaguing my thoughts for *checks watch* like three to four days because we get SO much information about him and who he is in just this one nugget of the game and i'm spinning out of control about it.

spoilers for the most raw bits of the prelude so obviously go play the game first and then come back and read me ramble and make wild assumptions about this man and the direction of his character

so i have been obsessed with this (paraphrased because i'd have to whip through nearly the whole game again to correctly quote it) exchange between the voice and loic:

"Are you prepared for the world Ysme would create?" "Could it really be any worse than this one?"

and god. bro. bro. the absolute devastation necessary for this man to feel this way, about a woman who lied to him from the moment they met (which he clocked! very early on!), mugged him with a gun, SHOT him with that gun, and then when she became his ghost-god immediately realized she could force him to commit suicide by cop if she wanted. this woman did all of this to him, and when given the opportunity to just let her die--arguably justifiable given her goals and how she threatened him and the fact her death was entirely of her own doing--he doesn't. even though "don't let this woman die", a morally good thing on its face, is actually "let this violent, selfish woman become god with the ability to remake the world in her image, while also becoming her slave" and he knows it.

because to him, that's preferable to the world he lives in. your world has to be so bad for that to be the case.

and it is! his world is that bad. not the physical actual world, which yes, is harsh and cold and dangerous outside the mosaic, but his world, his daughter, in an incurable coma. there is a cruelty to somebody you love being incurably sick. to the selfish, hurting heart, it can be worse than if they were just dead. you can mourn somebody who's dead, and move on from your grief, but as long as they're still living, you're shackled to hope, constantly grieving. there is no moving on, there is only waiting for it to end. you might bargain, as loic does in his search for the flower to cure her, but it's still just waiting.

and when ysme comes into his life, he gives up on waiting. he has been haunting his own life until then, doing good at lamplight because it was within his power while he was there, but i don't think it was ever with dedication. it was something to pass the time as he looked for the flower. essentially selling his soul, surrendering his free will to ysme, this incredibly dangerous, selfish woman, is better than living as he has been. because he's selfish too.

what i like so much about loic is that he's presented as this very kind, soft, unassailable dad who wants to do the right thing. A Down to Earth Good Guy, to contrast with the chaos of ysme, but he's fucking selfish! while he couldn't have predicted the raw physical power of exalted ysme, he still knew she would receive the power to remake the world. and he still decided: fuck this world.

the natural assumption is that his kindness will balance out ysme, and i'm here for that narrative, but honestly. i think she's going to make him worse. the seed of selfishness is already in him, and he's indulged it by giving her power over him, and that must be in some way a relief. he's effectively surrendered responsibility for himself and his actions over to her. he can no longer be fully blamed for anything now that she has power over him.

and i think he's tired of being nice. i think he's ready to go apeshit.

.........and while that would make a good button to end this on, i have to mention: there is a non-zero chance he thinks she's hot and the idea of being a goddess' slave is hot. he's a grown ass man who we know for a fact HAS fucked, and while ysme was like "i thought you were a dead wife guy. i guess you still could be" my money is on divorced. my theory is lia was going over to her mom's house in that flashback.

like yes, all of that above is the main motivator, but i'm not ready to discount sex. loic wants to be lifestyle dommed. because what i just described about surrendering his free will is literally the appeal of being a sub: giving somebody else control, so you don't have to feel the weight of it. this is a story for adults about adults and it is on that le guin shit of linking a sexual fantasy inexorably to the world building and plot thrust, and i am ESPECIALLY here for that.

and i think that's everything i had to say about loic soulsov. i am exorcised. i'm better now.

[whatwouldsylwrite]

hockey!Abby x dancer!reader pt7

pt 6

to: Abby

Do you want to come over tonight?

Minors don't interact!!!! This is an adult work meant for adults, I'm really uncomfortable with anyone younger than 18 reading this, so please move on.

Tags: modern au, fluff, fem!reader, shy reader, reader is into sexy/girly dances, Abby is a sweetheart, switching pov. Smut. Oral (r! receiving, Abby!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), pet names, vanilla sex

Notes: this is their first time, so there's no kinks yet, they're just exploring and getting to know each other, so it's pretty vanilla. I actually wanted to include a lot more, but this chapter is so long I had to cut some parts out. :(

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It was a Friday night, your tv was buzzing with some reality show as you were doing your homework, not paying any attention to the tv - you really wanted to finish the whole load before tomorrow, because your weekend was fully booked by Abby. 

So you worked through every assignment without any breaks for a few hours, until your head started to hurt - not the smartest decision, you admit, but you really just wanted to finish your homework and then just chill for the rest of the evening, letting your brain shut down on some ridiculous show. 

"Fuck." You sighed as you looked through the last assignment. Thank god it wasn't as time consuming as some of them were. 

It took you another half an hour to finish it, and when you looked at the time, it was over seven. Your head hurt, your stomach was screaming for anything sweet, and you really wanted a shower, as if the water would wash away your irritation and tiredness.

But it was worth it - you'd have your weekend free, a whole weekend with Abby, without practice and homework, without any worries and stupid responsibilities. Sometimes you missed being a teen, when you didn't have to take care of everything. "The real horror of adulthood - decide what you want for dinner every fucking day", you thought as you remembered the tweet you saw some time ago. 

Abby took her skates off, feeling tired and irritated - Eric was so fucking annoying with his training and useless comments, picking on everyone like as if he wanted the whole team to kick his ass. Boys were grumpy as well, bitching all the time while they changed, but Abby didn't pay attention to them until Manny sat next to her.

"You wanna go out tonight? I need to get wasted to forget about this asshole." Manny nodded in the general direction of the coach room. 

"No, I'm going home." Abby said shortly as she checked her dms. 

You sent a photo of yourself looking absolutely done with your homework, your hair a mess, your brows stubbornly furrowed. Manny immediately put his nose in Abby's phone as she sat there, just smiling at your picture. 

"Ooh, so that's (y/n) in her natural habitat." Manny smirked, knowing he'd get a reaction out of Abby. 

"Fuck off." Abby said and put her phone away from him. 

"What, don't want to show your sweetheart to your best bro?" 

"I swear to god, Manny." Abby rolled her eyes. "Go to your weather girl and leave my girlfriend alone."

"And not tease you? Sorry Abs, not happening." Manny laughed as he ducked Abby's pads she threw in his face. "Have a nice evening!"

"Fuck you too!" Abby shouted in response as she packed her things and went home. 

You left your shower feeling a lot better than before. Chocolate probably helped too, but it wasn't real food, and you needed to cook something before you'd give up and just not eat anything. 

You went to your room to change, and while you were changing you listened to how quiet your apartment was. It was the eerie silence of living by yourself, the constant reminder of lonely independence. It took you a long time to get used to the quiet, but sometimes you'd feel so fucking lonely, curled up in front of your tv, the darkness of the apartment surrounding you, trying to choke you out of the existence. 

You knew Abby had practice today - you looked at the clock - she should have finished already. She was probably tired, though. You worried your lip as you sat on your bed, naked, the water dripping from your hair to your back, giving you an unpleasant shudder, and opened your dms. 

Abby already saw the picture you've sent her during the most frustrating part of your homework.

from: Abby

looks like your hw kicked your ass

Fuck you, you laughed in your head as you typed your reply.

to: Abby

*I* kicked its ass, because I finished it

You tapped your fingers on your phone case, nervous. You really wanted to see Abby, but you also didn’t want to impose. She was tired after practice, and she’d have to drive to your place… But you could just relax together, watch something, you’d make some food for her. It wouldn’t hurt to ask, right? She could just say no and it’d be totally fine. 

to: Abby

Do you want to come over tonight?

Why, why did your heart pick up its pace? Why did you suddenly feel so nervous? You just asked Abby if she’d like to come to your place, it was normal, it was fine, you were dating, for god’s sake. Abby’s been to your place before, and you just cleaned your apartment, you shouldn’t be worried about it at all. Maybe it was because Abby could say no today? Maybe it was because you meant it as a sleepover? 

You checked your phone - Abby wasn’t online, which disappointed you a little, so you put your phone in your pocket and went to the kitchen to start cooking. You figured you'd cook enough for a few days - especially if Abby'd come tonight, since her hockey training required a lot of energy, and therefore a lot of food. And if Abby wouldn't come then you wouldn't have to worry about your meals for the entire weekend. 

The thought of Abby not coming made you sad, but you scolded yourself for being so selfish and needy - Abby was your girlfriend, not your mom to fix all your problems. You still reached for your phone anyway - still no answer. 

"Okay." You sighed, nervous, knowing you needed a distraction as your patience was running thin. You took all ingredients you needed and started to cook, getting your mind off "did she answer" loop in your head.  

Abby went out of the shower and fell on her bed, feeling pleasantly tired. She wasn't exhausted physically, but dealing with Eric's shit left her low-key irritated. Some days he was just insufferable and Abby wished the poor asshole just got laid and maybe that'd calm him down. 

Abby sighed and closed her eyes, trying to calm down herself. She needed to think about something pleasant - her weekend plans with you for example. Abby missed you, not seeing you properly the whole week - you caught each other every chance you got, and spent too much time in her car after practice, you not wanting to go home and Abby not wanting to let you go. 

And now the whole weekend would be for the two of you. You asked Abby if she really wanted to do rock climbing, but she had to admit she was afraid of heights - it was embarrassing, she knew, but you just nodded and said you'd keep it in mind, to Abby's relief. You asked her for another skating lesson and Abby agreed, happy she'd get to hold you in her arms again - that was your plan for Sunday evening. And tomorrow Abby wanted to take you on a day trip to the next town and just walk around, find some interesting places. 

Abby smiled and rubbed her face, slightly embarrassed by how bad she had it. She knew she was a lovesick idiot, but sometimes it was hard to embrace it. 

Abby sat up on the bed and reached for her phone that she left in her backpack. 

from: dancing queen

Do you want to come over? (sent 40 minutes ago)

Abby's heart stopped but started beating twice as fast right away, her cheeks flushed. Was it what she thought it was?

No, knowing how shy you were - no way you asked this question with any subtle meaning. But Abby couldn't help but feel a little optimistic. It was evening, you definitely asked her to stay the night, and she just couldn't ignore her annoying thoughts. 

You sent it 40 minutes ago - was it when Abby parked her car? She should have seen it if it was sent before, god, was she in a shower for 40 minutes? No she wasn't, she unpacked her gym bag first and put her uniform in the washing machine. 

Was your offer still up? Or maybe you changed your mind? Got tired of waiting for her response? 

That was asking for some serious measures, and Abby pressed call, not taking a chance with texting in case you wouldn't see her messages. You picked up after four antagonising dial tones and Abby started feeling nervous. 

"Hi." You said, sounding like you were busy. "Wait, gimme a sec." 

"Okay." Abby said as she listened to you turning water on and off. "You okay?"

"Yeah." You said, panting a little. Abby got worried she blew her chance - you were definitely not free right now. Why the fuck she didn't check her phone before going to the shower? "Okay, I'm here."

"Is your offer still up? For me to come over?" Abby asked, ridiculously nervous.

"Yeah." You said shyly. "You don't have to, I know you just finished your practice and you're tired, I don't want to-"

"I'll at yours in 20." Abby interrupted you, too eager to calm you down. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah. See you." She said to you quietly. 

"See you." 

Abby ended the call and ran her hand through her hair, calming herself. Okay, you were still up for it. Abby tried to push her stupid horny thoughts down, but you asking her to come over on Friday night was like a pavlovian for her. You didn't mean it, but Abby would kill for you to mean it. 

Abby eyed her other backpack, feeling optimistic again. She emptied her bed drawer into her backpack, you know, just in case. Never in her life Abby got ready faster than now - in 10 minutes she was locking her door, her hair half-dry and brushed, her clothes clean and her backpack filled with a change of clothes and other stuff. The ride to your apartment took her a little bit longer than ten minutes and she was five minutes later than she promised, but it didn't matter.

What mattered was her ringing the bell to your apartment. 

You opened the door and immediately smiled at Abby, your eyes twinkling with happiness. 

"Hi." You stared at her for a second and then moved out of the way. "Come in."

Abby put her backpack down and finally looked at you, regretting it immediately: you were wearing skintight top and Abby could see fucking everything, because you weren't wearing a bra. Oh fuck, she thought as she tried to look away from your chest. And these stupid short shorts you wore at home, Abby was going to die here.

 

"Are you hungry?" You asked, unconsciously moving closer to Abby, taking her hand in yours. She looked flushed, but you didn't mind. You also didn't mind her eyes flicking to your chest - her stare sent shivers down your spine, making you want to arch into Abby. "I've made some food."

"Starving." Abby chuckled and pulled you to her, kissing you. It was a gentle kiss, her hands a soft pressure on your waist, and you melted against her, letting her hold your weight. "Missed you."

"Me too. Felt lonely without you." You admitted, a little embarrassed of your weakness. You caressed Abby's shoulders, marvelled by her strength as she held you close. "Are you going to stay for the night?"

"If you let me." Abby shrugged playfully. 

"If I let you." You teased her. "You're the one who should be letting me beg you to stay, you know." You pinched her cheek gently and led Abby to the kitchen. 

Abby let go of your hand and just towered behind you, her chest to your back, her hands on your hips, as you put food on two plates. You swallowed as your desire to just arch back into Abby became too powerful and you tentatively pushed back, trying to not turn this moment into something more heated. Abby sighed into your neck and her grip on your hips became stronger. 

"What do you want to watch?" You asked, cosily quiet. 

Abby buried her nose in your neck, making you giggle from tickling. 

"The one we spoke about a week ago." Abby said not lifting her head from your shoulder. 

"Okay." You smile to yourself. "Come on, let's move." 

Abby slowly moved away and took a plate you gave her, pouting a little: she really didn't want to let you go. 

You went to the living room and while you two tried to find a more comfortable way to sit, you searched up the movie - it was a french comedy someone recommended to Abby, and you've seen the trailer and liked it. It took some time to find it, but you put it on and you both started eating while the introduction rolled. You secretly hoped Abby'd like your cooking - like if you were showing her what a wife material you could be. And, judging by her little moan and her head thrown back - she liked it. You hid your smile, but Abby noticed anyway.

"I'm marrying you tomorrow, (y/n)." Abby said as she put a fork in her mouth. "What did you put in it? Magic?"

"Garlic and ginger." You giggled. 

You finished your food pretty quickly, both of you were too hungry to go slow, and you went to the kitchen to put your plates in the sink. You poured two cups of tea and came back, to find Abby in a different position than before.

She was sitting in the middle of the couch, manspreading, and when she saw you, she patted the place between her legs, inviting you to sit there. You smiled and put your cups next to Abby so you could reach them, and sat between her legs. 

Abby immediately snaked her hands around your waist, pulling you closer without any effort and your breath hitched in your throat: Abby held you close to herself, pressing your back to her chest, her chin on your shoulder, her strong thighs on both sides of you. You felt safe like this, surrounded by Abby, and you leaned on her, relaxing and putting your head on her shoulder, breathing her in. Abby always smelled like something cold and soothing - maybe because she spent a lot of time on ice, but her scent always reminded you of the first days of spring when snow started to melt. 

The movie was good, Abby had to admit, but having you in your arms was better. Abby liked how you relaxed right away, letting her touch you everywhere she wanted, caressing your waist and your ribs and your thighs absentmindedly as she watched the movie. And the way you shook against her when you laughed - adorable. Abby pressed a few affectionate kisses to your shoulder, just appreciating your existence, and you relaxed even more, your weight pleasantly heavy on her. 

Abby liked this reaction, so she pressed more kisses into your bare shoulder - you went soft in her arms and Abby just couldn’t get enough of it, making you feel safe was her fucking drug. She moved her lips up, planting slow tender kisses on your neck, not really trying to work you up, just enjoying being gentle with you, but you sighed sharply as Abby kissed you pulse point, her lips lingering on your skin for a second. This little sound made Abby’s eyes open wide and her core throb - maybe she wasn’t trying to work you up, but you were definitely getting there. 

Abby lifted her head from your shoulder and looked you in the eyes, checking if you were enjoying yourself as you turned to her. Her serious, studying eyes met your glossy ones, and something snapped. 

You reached for Abby’s face desperately and kissed her, your whole body trembling as you weaved your fingers into her hair. Abby deepened the kiss, her tongue slowly playing with your tongue as she lifted you up and turned you so you’d sit in her lap. You whimpered quietly - the ease with which Abby moved you made your underwear hot with sudden wetness. Abby kissed you wet and dirty, her hands moving up your naked thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake, until she reached your butt and grabbed it  hard, her nails slightly digging into your body. You sighed into her mouth and caressed her neck and broad shoulders, so solid against you. 

You pulled away, trying to catch your breath, and Abby watched you with a small smile. Horny looked good on you.

“That’s not why I asked to come over.” You whispered. You didn’t want Abby to feel pressured into anything, to think you only invited her to stay the night because you wanted to have sex. 

“I know.” Abby whispered with a small smile as her hands held your waist. She knew what you were trying to say, and her heart overflowed with affection. “Do you want to stop?” 

You smiled and shook your head, stroking Abby’s nape gently.

“Words, baby.” Abby grinned as she watched your eyes go big with surprise when she used the pet name. “I need you to say it.”

Consent was important for Abby, especially since she could easily overpower you. She needed to hear that you wanted this, to have this confirmation. She couldn’t imagine doing something that would upset you because she read your non-verbals wrong. 

“Want you, Abby, I want you.” You whispered, not looking at Abby - too embarrassed to admit your desire so blatantly.  But if Abby needed to hear it, it didn’t matter if you were embarrassed - her comfort was your top priority. Abby tilted your face, trying to make you look at her.

“You’re nervous.” Abby stated when she noticed how you fidgeted with her hoodie. She didn’t like it - she wanted you to feel happy and relaxed with her.

“A little.” You admitted and smiled, giggling when Abby tried to catch your eyes, turning her head at all angles possible.

“Am I scaring you?” Abby asked playfully and stroked your back.

“Big bad Abby.” You laughed. “No. Just want to do it right.”

“I don’t think there is a wrong way, (y/n).” Abby kissed your jaw. “Really, if you want to stop, it’s totally cool.”

Now Abby looked at you, serious, as she searched your face for any sign of discomfort, so tuned to your body she could tell if you were even slightly tense, but you smiled and kissed her gently.

“You’re so sweet.” You said and moved away, creating a distance between the two of you. Abby tried not to read it as a sign you wanted to stop, but as the distance grew bigger, she became more sure that this was it. “Let’s move it to the bedroom.” 

Abby blinked and smiled brightly when the meaning of your words finally caught up with her. Abby kissed you again, her hands roaming your body, squeezing you painfully. Abby grabbed your thighs and suddenly you were in the air, clinging to Abby for dear life. 

"Fuck." You said, a little bit shocked as Abby hoisted you up, her lower stomach pressing just right between your legs. "Warn me next time." You laughed and snaked your hands around Abby's neck. 

Abby smirked and kissed your collarbones, making your hole clench on nothing - you were getting so wet, too wet, and nothing really happened yet. 

"Abby." You inhaled sharply, your fingers squeezing her shoulders.

"Yeah?"

"Bedroom."

Abby chuckled against your neck and carried you to the bedroom while her hands continued kneading your butt. You were so fucking soft in her arms, it was so easy to carry you Abby felt drunk on how much stronger she was, how effortlessly she could just move you and hold you and not let you do anything, leaving everything to her. 

Abby lowered you down on the bed and you pulled her with you, making her press you into the bed as you kissed her. You spread your legs further, making Abby press into you as her hand caressed your thigh lightly, admiring how soft and warm you were. 

Abby broke the kiss and sat between your legs and this view alone made you ache, made it hard to breathe. She looked serious, her strong hands crawling up your thighs, her wide shoulders moving up and down as she breathed heavily. You sat up and tugged her hoodie up, literally not able to take it anymore, you needed to see her. The hoodie came off, leaving Abby in her sports bra, her muscles, her strength on display.

"Oh my fucking god." You whispered, mesmerised. "Fuck, Abby." You ran your fingers over Abby's abs and  she flexed her muscles instinctively, causing the wetness pool in your panties, the pressure building behind your clit. You looked at her with wide eyes as you got closer to feel her skin under your lips. 

You left open mouthed kisses on Abby's side, holding her hips. She was warm and solid and she tasted just as she smelled - cold and mouthwatering. You couldn't get enough, your hands travelled lower and you groaned - Abby had a V line, fucking hell. 

Abby watched you worship her body and her breathing became heavy, her hunger growing with each second and her boxers getting wetter after every kiss - your soft mouth drove her crazy, your genuine admiration getting to her heart dangerously close. Abby knew girls enjoyed her physique,  but there was something different about your reaction - you were gentle with her, smoothing her edges in a way that scared her, but left wanting more. Abby needed you to cum, to feel good, to come apart in her hands again and again until you couldn't anymore. 

"Doll, look at me." Abby panted and gently lifted your head. You looked up at her, your eyes shining and your cheeks flushed. "Fuck, you're so pretty." Abby kissed you, hungry and getting a little rough from her desperation, but you didn't mind, clinging to her with your whole body. "Can I take it off?" 

"Yeah." You whispered, exhilarated when Abby's fingers hooked the bottom of your top. She was slow, as if she was opening a present she wanted her whole life and now couldn't believe she had it, and you suddenly felt impatient from your own excitement, buzzing with arousal.

The top came off and Abby stared at you, unblinking. You were so goddamn beautiful: your cute shoulders, the soft line of your neck, your round pretty tits with hardened nipples, the delicate line of your waist - Abby wanted to devour you. You looked divine, you looked holy to her and she wasn't sure she should be allowed to touch you. 

"Lie down." Abby told you and you leaned back, spreading your legs so Abby'd fit between them. "Fuck." Abby said as she watched you, lying on your pillows all pretty and inviting. 

Abby's hands were fucking shaking as she leaned to you, your naked stomachs touching. You sighed and bucked your hips up without thinking, just craving Abby's touch - skin on skin contact wasn't enough, you needed her strong gentle hands on you. Abby used one of her hands to push your hips down, stopping you from moving completely and you whimpered, bucking your hips again, now because her strength turned you on even more, but Abby didn't let you, pressing you back even harder, and you shuddered. 

"Do you need something, doll?" Abby asked as she kissed your neck, grinding a little against you. You suddenly relaxed under her and spread your legs wider, your brows furrowed as Abby's lower stomach pressed into your pussy. "Tell me." 

"Are you teasing me?" You asked as you swallowed a quiet moan.

"I'm asking." Abby breathed in your skin, addicted to your scent: you smelled like warmness and home to her. She licked a long strip on your neck, from your collarbones to your ear and smirked when you made a little mewling sound in her ear. She was genuinely asking, but she couldn't help but tease you a little.

"Can you touch me?" You asked shyly, not even meaning touching your pussy - you'd get there eventually - you just wanted her hands on you. "Like-" You swallowed and stroked her sides. "Like that?" 

Abby melted.

She nodded and squeezed your sides, spreading her fingers over your waist and hips, and you closed your eyes, enjoying the solid firm pressure from Abby’s hands.

"Like that?" 

"Yeah." 

Abby kissed you and moved down, putting her mouth over your nipple, swirling her tongue around your bud. You arched into her, choking on air, your body like a naked wire, but she held you down again. Abby looked at you, stupidly turned on from your reactions.

"You're sensitive." Abby stated in amazement and smiled, so fucking pleased with this fact about you. 

You didn't have time to even think what to say to Abby as she sucked on your nipple and grinded on you, watching your reaction with hunger: she saw it once and nothing would tear her away from you now. You whimpered, your nails digging in Abby's shoulders as she continued playing with your nipples: her tongue on one nipple and her fingers on the other as she pressed her body flush against your pussy.  You felt how wet you got, soaking through your underwear - you probably had a wet spot on your shorts now - but you didn't care as long as you had Abby's hands and mouth on you. 

Abby moved back to your face, admiring you, all flushed and panting. You smiled at Abby and pulled her into the kiss, barely maintaining it as you couldn't stop smiling. 

Abby touched the waistband of your shorts and looked at you, serious again. 

"I'm going to take them off." Abby said, waiting for your confirmation. 

"Good idea." You giggled and watched Abby undress you completely. She took your underwear with your shorts, not wasting any time. 

"Fuck, you're so beautiful." Abby said tenderly, her gaze making you blush as she looked you over. "What do you like?"

"I-uh." You tried to get your thoughts together. "Anything?"

Abby nodded and spread your legs with her hand, caressing your thighs in the process. You shivered when you felt cool air on your wet hole and you covered your face, a little embarrassed when you noticed how intensely Abby was staring between your legs.

Abby felt her mouth water when she saw how wet you were, the desire to make you feel good overpowering her. You were so responsive it made her want to touch you even more, but your shyness melted her heart. 

"Hey, don't be shy." Abby chuckled as she caressed your pelvis lightly. "You're so pretty." 

"Fuck you." You laughed affectionately and moved your hand from your face to look at Abby, who was grinning at you. 

And then Abby moved down, leaving lingering kisses on your stomach until she was right in front of your pussy, her shoulders keeping your legs apart. Abby snaked her hands around your thighs, locking you in one position, and you caught your breath, just staring at her. You couldn't move, her grip on you was unyielding. 

Abby kissed your thighs gently, making you relax again: this feeling was so fucking addicting, just watching you visibly unbend and just accept what was happening - it pressed Abby's buttons in ways that her mind got even filthier, imagining if you could let go completely and let her do whatever she wanted with you. 

Abby pressed on your thighs, spreading them even wider to open you up for her, all pretty, wet and hot. Abby smirked and licked you from your hole all the way up to your clit, the tip of Abby's tongue making you twitch in her hands from sudden painful pleasure. Too much, Abby thought and relaxed her tongue on your clit, circling it softly. She watched your breath hitch and eyes flutter, the soft, quiet sounds leaving your lips as she played with your clit. You were so wet and tasted so fucking good Abby didn't want to leave your thighs ever again. 

Abby's mouth felt so good on you, you couldn't even think as she sucked on your clit, making you fucking jump in her arms, but she held you down without breaking her movements and doubled her efforts, sucking and licking and swirling her tongue until your heavy breathing turned into loud moans. 

"Abby, fuck-" You managed to say between your high whines. "Jesus-" 

But Abby ignored you, keeping her pace steady on your clit, her chin covered in your slick. She felt how twitchy you got, and she smirked knowing you were close, so she sped up just a little, cautious not to overwhelm you and break the spell before you'd cum for her.

Abby's tongue was pulling you down and down and down, drowning you in syrupy pleasure, building you up to the inevitable as your thighs started to shake and your voice became high pitched, your moans broken and choked. You grabbed Abby's forearm as you felt your orgasm approaching.

"Fuck- ohmygod- abby- Abby!" You screamed, oh god Abby made you fucking scream and she wasn’t stopping, she wasn’t stopping, her tongue lightly moving up and down your pussy, collecting your wetness as she licked you clean. It made you blush and you covered your face again as you tried to get your body under control.

The hold on your thighs eased up and Abby kissed your stomach, her tongue hot on your skin. She took her time, worshipping you as she placed soft kisses on your body: you were so soft and delicate she couldn’t believe she actually got to touch you. Abby moved up and gently moved your arm away from your face.

“Hey.” Abby said as she smiled at you, so tender it was almost unbearable. You looked so good, still twitching after your first orgasm, and Abby looked into your eyes, trying to remember every little line and every blush and how your breathing wasn’t evened out yet, but you were smiling back at her.

“Hi.” You giggled and put your trembling fingers on Abby’s neck. You looked at each other and broke into happy giggles. “Gimme a sec, I need my body to stop shaking and then it’s your turn.”

“That good, huh?” Abby smirked and you blushed. “Actually. Do you think you can go again?” Abby asked, her hand moving down to your hip, tracing circles on your hip bones. 

"Yeah." You nodded, a little confused, and then Abby's hand moved further down. "Oh, you mean now." You giggled at your own obliviousness.

"Yeah." Abby whispered as she watched you, her hunger back. "Wanna see you cum again, you're so fucking beautiful."

You looked at Abby with wide eyes and kissed her desperately, her words messing with your heart, turning you into butter. 

Abby pulled away, wanting to see your face when she'd push inside you. She moved her fingers through your folds, so gentle and careful, and you felt one finger circling your hole. You shuddered in anticipation, looking back at Abby, her pupils so dilated she almost lost all blue in her eyes. And then she pushed her finger inside and you couldn't even make a sound. You were still tight and wet after your last orgasm, and Abby's finger felt amazing as she slowly stroked your walls.

"Fuck, (y/n)." Abby whispered and kissed your neck, sucking a hickey into your skin. 

She wanted to be careful with you, to keep you relaxed until your pleasure would build up enough for you to start making these pretty high noises. Abby curled up her finger, looking for your sweet spot, and suddenly your thighs closed on her arm and you whimpered. 

"There you go." Abby smiled, enjoying you. She eased up a little, giving you a chance to exhale. "Breathe, baby.” She chuckled when she noticed you held your breath. 

You inhaled sharply and your thighs relaxed, not locking Abby’s arm anymore.

"Good girl." Abby said affectionately, so pleased with you and you whined, your head suddenly fuzzy.

You looked at Abby: she was so gorgeous, her face calm and her cheeks faintly pink with a bunch of freckles you wanted to kiss, her hair tucked behind her ears - god you loved when her hair was down. You ran your hand from her neck to her waist, adoring all soft warm skin under your fingertips as she thrusted into you, your breathing turning from sighs to moans.

“Do you want another one?” She whispered in your ear, making you shudder, her mouth working another hickey on your pulse point. 

“Yeah.” You gripped Abby’s hair gently and she pressed her mouth harder to your neck. 

Abby pulled her finger out and you felt empty and a little cold, but then you felt two fingers pressing inside. Abby pushed them in slowly, marvelling by how soft and tight you were around her, how you looked at her, your eyes a little foggy while you smiled a little. Abby curled her fingers and you clenched around her, whimpering, and Abby felt her own hole clench in response. Fuck it was hot.

You felt so full, Abby’s fingers pressing everywhere, ripping sounds out of you on each thrust. Your skin was on fire, each nerve trembling as Abby sped up, her fingers pressing against your sweet spot, as absolutely obscene wet sounds joined your whimpers. It took a little longer to bring you over the edge, but Abby didn’t break her relentless pace until you cried out for her, your walls clenching and pulsating around her fingers as you came, shaking so violently Abby had to use her other hand to hold you down as you twitched uncontrollably while coming down from your high. 

Abby watched you, spellbound, as you came on her fingers, your throat bared for her, purple marks blooming everywhere: you were hers, only hers, and you were so beautiful, like a fucking angel.

"There you go, doing so good for me." Abby praised you as she pulled her fingers out slowly, watching your blissed out face.

Suddenly there was pressure on her shoulders as you made her lie back while your trembling fingers went under her sports bra.

“I wanna see you.” You said in a shaky voice, barely standing up, your thighs still shaking from your orgasm, sticky with your slick. “Can I go down on you?”

Just hearing these words coming out of your mouth made Abby groan - she wanted to fuck you again, but you looked so desperate and wanting she couldn’t refuse. She really couldn’t say no to you, could she? 

Abby sat up and helped you undress her completely, blushing a little under your hungry eyes. You nestled between Abby’s thighs and tried to just absorb her, your eyes roaming over her body, so fucking powerful and beautiful and perfect. You leaned down to Abby and kissed her neck while your hands ran up from her thighs to her waist. Fuck she was magnificent, firm lines mixed with soft flesh. 

“I wanna fucking inhale you.” You said into the crook of her neck, dizzy with desire. Abby’s breath caught in her throat, her ears ringing and her pussy aching because of your words, that were filled with raw obsession. 

“Holy shit, doll.” Abby sighed and tried to get you to lift your head, but you were already moving down, leaving sweet kisses on Abby’s collarbones and stomach.

You cupped Abby’s tits carefully and she closed her eyes, enjoying your touch. You smiled and took her nipple into your mouth, sucking on it gently, and Abby made this low appreciative noise that went straight to your clit. Abby was much quieter than you, but it only turned you on more, listening to her soft fast breathing as you went down, kissing her abs, her sides, mouthing at her muscles as she flexed, her breath hitching every time you placed a new kiss on her skin. You couldn’t get enough of her: you traced Abby’s v-line with your tongue and then planted open-mouthed kisses on conjunctions of her hips, nuzzling in the dips as Abby spread her thighs wider. 

“Can I ask you for something?” You asked as you moved all the way down, getting comfortable between Abby’s thighs. 

“Yeah.”

“Will you be able to keep still?” You mouthed at her thighs, looking Abby in the eyes. You knew you wouldn't be able to hold her down, but you wanted her to let you do what you needed to do.

Abby was surprised by your request, but it only turned her on - it was nearly impossible not to move in this situation, but you asked her - and your wish was her command.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.” You said and buried your face between Abby’s thighs.

Abby twitched but stopped herself from moving, letting you do whatever you want. You opened your mouth and put it over Abby’s pussy, slowly flicking her clit with your tongue. Abby squeezed the pillow behind her and hissed, her orgasm already close: she’s been close since she pushed her fingers inside you. And now Abby had you between her legs and she had to stop herself from moving while your tongue played her like musical instrument and she knew she wouldn’t fucking last. 

“Fuck.” Abby gasped when you gently sucked on her clit, her thighs trembling by the sides of your head. Your mouth felt fucking amazing, and Abby felt her lower stomach tighten, so fucking close. 

Abby tentatively moved her hips up to meet your tongue, bucking up so slightly and so gently - she didn't want to take your control away, but she was almost there. You put your hands on her hip bones and helped her grind against your mouth so tenderly you'd think she was being shy, but Abby moved so precisely you figured that was something she liked, and your heart ached: this powerful woman was so delicate in your arms right now. You met her movements with your soft tongue, flicking her clit until she started to lose her pace. Abby was close, so you gently pressed her hips back to the bed - more accurately, Abby let you press her back to the bed - and sped up, desperate to give Abby her orgasm. 

"Holy fuck." Abby moaned quietly, her voice shaking a little. "Just like that, baby- oh fuck-" She managed to say and in the next second Abby was pulled under as her body exploded, the long groan ripping from her lungs, her hands clutching the pillow so hard she might have torn the fabric. 

You watched Abby obsessively, your mouth slack against her: she was gorgeous, her chest heaving with her fast breathing as the reality came back to her. You moved up to kiss Abby, lying on top of her.

"Hey, (y/n)." Abby called, panting, her eyes are still closed, but her hands were already on you, caressing your back and your waist.

"Yeah?" You kissed her cheek, her nose, her eyes, buzzing with happiness.

Abby opened her eyes and you pressed your thighs together under her dark determined gaze: she looked at you like you were her prey and she finally caught you.

"Can you go again?"

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

Connor and Gavin Besties Dynamic would include

Connor trying to be the one above the call-outs and banter that Gavin throws at him in the workplace, for the sake of professionalism

but the second he's off the clock it is ON

Connor also being petty at work in retaliation

they have the dynamic of that one tiktok where this guy is cooking fried chicken in the bathroom as he's taking a shower so that his friend wouldn't steal it, and then his friend breaks in with a screwdriver and and still steals it.

Gavin would take a picture of Hank's living room and use it as his background during FaceTime calls

"Hey... hey Connor come here, i need to tell you something."

"I don't trust you."

"No seriously, I promise I'm not gonna do anything it's for the case."

"......Fine... what is it?"

*burps in his face*

"....... I swear to-"

Connor gets one of those ice cream quart padlocks and locks Gavin's ice cream at the precinct

Gavin just saws off the bottom of the container and eats it like that out of spite.

* Connor and Gavin at a bar*

Gavin: you better step down, son, taking this whole thing too far. Hold me back, Connor. I'm serious, hold me back, Connor! I'm seRIOUS HOLD ME BAC-......... why aren't you holding me back?

"Excuse me, Gavin but i have those reports for the Carey case right here for you on my desk."

"I ain't falling for my own joke, tin can."

"No, I am serious. And even if i was trying to pull the same joke, i am incapable of eructation."

"Oh... well okay the-"

T̶̝̳̍͛͜H̷̨̻͕̪̣͗Ę̵̬͔̬̹̄͜ ̵͙̫͇̰̺̗̈́̎̍̅̕F̷̧̼̟̪̱͕̑Į̶̟̖̠̮̈́́Ţ̵̲̯̤̪̄̄N̴̳̍Ẹ̷̅̈́̌̉̊̚͜S̸̨̰͔̿̄̀̿͝S̶̲̳̲̑̌̔ ̸̮̓̇G̵̪͖̥̖̯̈͌̐̿Ṝ̷A̴̧̢͂̊̏̾M̵̟̥̹̥̝̖͒ ̴̧̩̯̿̽͑P̶̮̪̿̌̈̽̋̀Á̸͇̭̈́C̸̩̠̀̇͛͠Ẹ̷̪̱͇̼͊R̶̥̦̫͑́̓̅͗̈́ ̶̩͍͍͓̞̔͌̋̎̓̈́T̸̛̬̟͐̀͛̈́̈Ę̴̜̟̜̹̿̿͗S̵̛̩̝̩͗͊͆̄͛ͅͅT̷͚͒ ̴̗͌ͅI̶͖͒̓́̏S̷̤̞̻̟̅̂̄̎ ̴̨̉̾̐̀͛͋Á̸̝̫̋͑͠ ̷̨̘̠̦͕̅M̶̜̬͍̼̗̬͗̏̊̈͝U̸̫̯̩̬͛͝Ĺ̵̜̼̜̦̀̇̆̕͘T̶͔͉͗̈́Ḯ̴͙S̴̯͙̣͓̫̀̈͜Ṯ̷͎̥͓̌͐̎͑Ą̴̳̖̓͆̀̄̀͜G̷̻̯͎͒̑̉̓E̴̗̭̒ ̷̡̺̮͚̞́̽̈́̈́̕A̴̠̝̿͒͂̕ͅĘ̴̠̮͌̐̒R̷̠̼̙̉̒O̸̼͍͗̈́͗̃̃B̵͍͈̪͖͎̔̓̅̇͘͘I̷̝͉̪̍̔C̸̖̘͙̆͗ ̴̣͉̝̳͖͋͜͝Ç̵̨̹͗A̵͉̺̟͇͠ͅP̷̪͕͔̱͙̬̓̄A̶̟͖̯̹͎̒̎C̵͔̮͍͗̂̌͊̿͝Ī̵̤́͊͆̀͊T̷̙͉͖̙͜͝ͅŸ̴̖͈͚̜͓̱́̾ ̷̘͆̂̄͗͝T̶̻̿Ę̷̢̬̔̒S̷͔͙̹̪̉͑̃͌̀Ṭ̵̓̏̅̉-"

Gavin: god I fucking hate that guy, he's such a prick

Coworker: why don't you just stop being friends with him then?

Gavin: FUCK NO! He's already agreed to be my Best Man

*Connor working silently and diligently*

*notices Gavin staring at him from across the bullpen*

"..... what?"

"You're ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Gavin punching in the teeth of xenophobes. Or at the very least cussing them out because no, Gavin, you already have enough write-ups and complaints as it is, you gotta stop it. Yes, i appreciate the intentions, but the means are getting you in trouble.

Old Cop Acquaintance: Last time we hung out you hated androids. You've gotten soft.

Gavin: No, i've gotten hard. Because he's my best friend, he's my pal. My homeboy, my rotten soldier; my sweet cheese, my good time boy

the newer cops in the precinct start spreading a rumor that Gavin and Connor are dating, and when Connor brings it up with Gavin to see if he wants to do anything to dispel the rumors he just says "If you don't have rumors going around that you and your best friend are dating, then you aren't real best friends."

that's basically how Connor realizes that he has a best friend for the first time.

Gavin: Connor, would you ever bail me out of jail?

Connor: Bold of you to assume I'm not in jail with you

Gavin: bro

Connor: Nines would be the one to bail us out of jail.

Gavin: aw fuck, no, come on! Nines would give us the Look of Disappointment

Connor: Better than the Dad of Disapproval

Gavin: fair point

Tactical Training Day is full of chaos because Gavin makes a bet that he'll do better and while Connor doesn't outright agree to it, you can tell he's playing along because he's putting more effort into the simulations than normal.

Gavin: Okay, run it by me one more time. What do you do if i get shot in the field?

Connor: well, I was programmed to immediately get you clear of the line of fire and then provide medical assistance until back-up or an ALS unit arrives.

Gavin: but?

Connor: ...but you've asked me to cry out "MMMMMM WHATCHA SAAYYY!" and then proceed with my protocols.

Gavin: exACTLY

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 24 “Windy Mountain”[Episode List]

Another summer, another camping trip for our heroes… and an even smaller tent than last time. On the mountain, the sounds of nature finally meet their match as Dave’s farts reach new heights in terms of loudness and power.

POV: Tim

Windy Mountain “Rise and shine, bro!”

I was woken up by a sudden thunder, a thunder which was accompanied by a peculiar scent. Considering how I could see a clear blue sky outside (somebody opened the window in my room), as my eyes adjusted to the light I recognised Dave’s ass in a pair of white basketball shorts hovering over me, effortlessly erupting a powerful morning blast directly on my face.

I probably woke up halfway through the rip, which was already around 10 seconds long. A short morning fart, for my friend’s high standards. The stench hit me and triggered my flight or fight response, effectively waking me up more efficiently than any alarm clock could. I pushed my friend’s ass away (as he kept farting), trying to remember what year it was.

“Alright, alright. I’m awake!”

Dave turned around and greeted me with a smile. 

“Come on, we’re right on schedule.” he stated.

“Should I thank you or your ass?”

Dave simply looked up, making a funny facial expression, and ripped a quick loud one.

“Yes.” he simply replied, and left the room.

Those were natural, not even on command, but honestly who could tell the difference? Dave always had a fart ready, like you could ask him out of the blue to rip one and he’d probably be more than happy to go beyond your wildest expectations. One of his many talents: the incredible farts are like the cherry on top of this wonderful friend I’m lucky to have, a cherry that pleases my embarrassing and disgusting kink, a kink that, for some reason, my bud is completely okay with, getting some good immature laughs every time he teases me.

Like last year, the four of us (the other two being Greg and Adam) decided to get in touch with nature and go camping for a couple of days, like the hypocrite city slickers that we are. However, we’re pretty good at planning stuff like this, making sure it won’t interfere with our respective jobs and whatnot. 

As Dave told me earlier, we were indeed right on schedule: it wasn’t even 6:00 AM and he was ready, a role-reversal compared to the last time we went camping, as I’m usually the one who hates being late. A quick shower, some casual clothes and I too was ready, just a shirt and pair of black shorts, whereas Dave was sporing a grey t-shirt and his signature, “summer style” camo cargo shorts which, given the context, immediately triggered my kinky ass as I just remembered how my friend mercilessly blasted me in our tent last year while wearing those.

I hated… that I fuckin’ loved it.

While farting wasn’t by far our main topic of discussion (believe it or not), I like to think that Dave too remembers… because he’s just a nice mixture of “the best bro you could ever ask for” and “your worst bully”. Or, much more realistically, he just doesn’t remember because while he does find the act of teasing me utterly hilarious, it’s not like our lives revolve around his farts.

Unlike last year we were actually much more independent as our other two buds travelled to our destination on their own, a relatively colder place where we could avoid this summer’s high temperatures, somewhere on a mountain not far from here. We’re hiking to some interesting sights, the most important being a big, lesser known waterfall located at higher altitudes and deeper into the forest. 

We packed our stuff and as the Sun was setting we got into the car, Dave being the designated driver. My (much more important) role was choosing the music for the trip and sometimes checking the map. A true duo of rally drivers.

During the trip, me and my bro chatted about some random stuff and about one hour flew by. No traffic, no road works or anything, just a long but peaceful trip.

“Oh by the way.” Dave suddenly said, changing the subject. “When Dana and I went camping last year…” 

He seemed embarrassed but couldn’t help but laugh. Knowing him, that was the kind of laughter he’d do whenever he did something stupid.

“Yes?” I asked, being annoyingly inquisitive on purpose.

“We broke your tent.” he simply said.

“Oh.” I replied, not caring that much.

Yes, after our trip last year, I let Dave and Dana bring my tent on their own trip. I totally forgot about it and it was a very cheap product anyway. Plus, I saw Dave putting a folded up tent into the trunk earlier this morning, so it’s not like we were gonna sleep with the bugs tonight.

“It was an accident, I’m sorry.” he said.

“You’re the worst person I ever met.” I replied, the sarcasm being almost tangible.

“I totally forgot about it.” 

“Me too actually.” I admitted. “How did you break it? I deserve to know.” I asked, acting like I wanted to know how my grandpa died.

“Crazy sex obviously.” my friend said, with a smirk. 

I stared back at him until he told me truth.

“Ok… I accidentally hit it while going in reverse.”

“How did it even happen?!” I yelled, amused. “Why was the car there in the first place?!”

“Girls, you know… she didn’t want to walk back to the car.”

I stared back at him again.

“We had beers in the trunk.” 

“Unbelievable. Truly made for each other.”

We both had a good laugh at their laziness, and I made sure Dave knew it was fine: he bought a new tent after all, so we’re good.

“The new tent is a bit smaller though… not that you mind, right?” he said, and winked at me.

“Oh yeah, show me the infamous crazy sex you’ve been talking about.” I played along.

“Well that, obviously.” he joked. “But I was thinking more of… you know…”

He leaned a bit while driving and, as much as he could, pointed his camo-clad ass towards me; the fart was, well, one of his average ones, long, loud and proud, the sound partially muffled by the seat and car’s own noises, but I could still hear it clearly. A firm, strong, 7 seconds display of cocky manliness from my bro, something I pretend to be used to but for a number of reasons keeps surprising me somehow.

The smell hit me but the cars’ windows being open made it bearable.

Before I could stutter something, he sat back normally and resumed talking.

“Just like last year, you know.” he laughed.

He actually remembers it. The fact that he does gives me a mix of feelings. I remained silent, trying to focus on the road ahead, which he noticed.

“Aw come on, don’t act like you hate it, you hypocrite.” he playfully said, patting my shoulder. “You know you can relax when I’m around, right?” he then asked, a bit more seriously, keeping his right hand on my shoulder.

It took me a bit to answer that simple question, Dave being so open-minded he almost leaves me speechless.

“Yeah I know man. Thanks.” 

“Good.” he said, again patting my shoulder.

This man’s patience is infinite. 

And just like that, we resumed talking about the usual stuff, as if my kink never existed. I feel like Dave accepted my fetish more than I ever did with myself.

——

A few hours later we reached our destination, at around 10:00 AM, the mountains towering over us being so high we could see the peaks covered in glaciers. However, the town where we left the car was not at high altitudes, so while the weather wasn’t as hot as back home, you could still tell it was summer, a particularly hot one nonetheless, as some of the locals told us. From the small town we then begun our hiking towards a place called “Windy Mountain”, making sure our phones still got signal so we could keep our other two buds posted on our location.

As we got higher and higher, the temperatures got a bit lower, but still pleasing, despite our heavy backpacks.

“Call me hypocrite.” I said.

“I already did a few hours ago I believe.” Dave quickly replied.

“I’m just saying… I don’t blame you for parking the car next to the tent, when you were with Dana.”

“Ahah what, feeling tired already?” he mockingly said, tired.

“I could do this all day bro.” I boasted, lying.

“Well no worries, Greg and Adam set the camp right next to that river.”

Dave pointed to a location not really far from us, a bit more downhill than where we were, and I could indeed spot two people in the distance, which I assumed were our buds waiting for us. The view as a whole was also really nice, with the mountain overlooking the entire scene.

“You think they can hear us?” I asked.

“Only way to find out.”

My friend shouted our buds’ names, his voice echoing in the entire valley, but the two people didn’t seem to have any reaction. It was my turn to shout, but once again, nothing.

“Yeah it’s them.” Dave said. “I’d recognize Greg’ piss-yellow shirt anywhere.” he pointed out, as I too noticed that small yellow spot by the river.

“It’s weird they couldn’t hear us.” 

“Let’s see if they can hear this then.”

Dave simply stood where it was, which was surprising considering the sheer amount of gas he started ejecting from his ass. The fart almost fake-sounding, but it was loud and powerful, my friend effortlessly showing off his skills, easily surpassing any natural sound around us. The fart truly echoed everywhere, and as the 9 seconds blast finished, I could still hear it propagating all over the valley. An impressive, almost terrifying display of what my friend is capable of.

Funnily enough, the guy in the piss shirt did seem to turn around; he then waved at us.

“Nice.” I said. “You probably scared the shit out of every animal in the valley, but nice.”

“It’s called ‘asserting dominance’, Timothy.” Dave said, acting all serious. “The valley now knows who’s in charge.”

“Wow I feel so safe now.” I said, letting my sarcasm do the talking… while trying to ignore my boner.

——

The moment we arrived, Greg and Adam fetched us beers and something to eat, just some snacks, as it was too early to set up a barbecue anyway. We started setting up our camp like we did last time: our two tents being on the opposite sides, facing each other, with a fire pit in the middle, not too close, not too far away. 

“Isn’t that tent a bit too small for you two?” Greg noted, while rummaging through the snacks.

“We don’t need a bigger tent to compensate you know.” I replied, very maturely.

“Also, me and Tim like to snuggle in those cold summer nights.” Dave added, hugging me from behind. “Right, honey?”

I shook him off. “Oh yeah…” I played along. “Whisper me something soft and sweet, my stallion!”

What my ear received however was anything but a gentle whisper. Dave was really enjoying the beer and he decided to let me (and everyone) know by belching directly into my skull, the scent of yeast and water hitting my nostrils. My bro wants to make sure he can destroy me from both ends, if you know what I mean.

“Serves you right.” Greg snickered.

Like a Terminator, Dave changed his target and let me go, power-walking towards our snickering friend. Before Greg could beg for mercy, he grabbed his head and burped straight onto his face, earning mature laughters from me and Adam.

“The good news is that you’re probably scaring bears off.” Adam commented. 

“He’s ‘asserting dominance’” I explained, making finger quotes.

“He’s the true alpha.” Adam added, sarcastically.

“He’s making me puke.” Greg managed to say, just as Dave’s belch ended.

Once this very mature display of manliness was over, my bro joined us in setting up the camp, with his classic smirk drawn on his face, pretty proud of making Greg almost lose it.

——

After setting up the camp we ate something, nothing too complicated, just some sandwiches and fresh water, because in the afternoon we planned to go hiking; the destination was this beautiful waterfall located deeper into the woods and at a higher altitude, a true sight to behold. Due to this however, the climate there was colder, and the temperatures started to lower even in the valley (where our camp was) due to the Sun hiding behind one of the tall mountains looming over us.

In our tent I was setting some things up before the hike, like the GPS on my phone, and pulling some things out of my backpack to avoid bringing something needlessly heavy with me. My back was facing the tent’s entrance but I could feel someone coming inside.

“Everything’s alright?” Dave asked. 

For all the immature, sometimes gross pranks he plays on us (…you know what I mean), Dave was actually the smartest around here, and the one we trusted the most when it came to organizing trips like these. Just because he acts silly, it doesn’t man he’s stupid.

“Yeah man. All set.” I said. “If we die, they’re gonna find our corpses in no time.” I joked.

“That’s the spirit!” my friend cheered.

As the Dave got into the tent, I realized how smaller than the last one was indeed. The fact that my bro was taller and generally “bigger” than me, body-wise, didn’t help. There was room to breathe, lay down and all that stuff, but a bigger tent would have definitely been better. 

My bro got on all fours to look for some of his own stuff and, due to the small size of the tent, accidentally brushed his camo-clad ass all over me more than once. This stuff can happen to everyone, so I just ignored it, though it was hard not to think of what that same ass is capable of, considering the person who belongs to.

“Looking for something?” I asked, turning to him, though my head was basically talking to his ass.

“Yeah, my rain jacket.” he said, while rummaging through his own backpack.

“Oh right, the waterfall.” I remembered. I too had a rain jacket after all.

“Nevermind, found it.” he told me, giving me an OK I sign.

I kept checking my stuff, his camo-clad ass still literally next to me. I noticed Dave’s hand now patting his own butt, like we all do when we can’t find our phones in our back-pockets.

“What are you looking for now?” I asked, without even turning to his ass, even though my boner really wanted me to take a closer look.

Dave didn’t answer, though I felt his hand pat my shoulder, then my hair.

“Your head, actually.” he said, trying not to laugh.

He quickly pulled me and planted my entire face into his ass, holding it still. As my nose touched the warm fabric of his cargo pants, I felt his buttcheeks relax and, surprise to no one, a fart came out, a loud blast that made my teeth shake for how strong and loud it was. The gas went down my nostrils and eyes, making me choke, but Dave’s firm grip on my head was merciless. As my bro kept his position on all four, he raised one of his legs a bit, easing the blast out, actually making him get even louder. He finally let me head go as he did this, but my kinky-self didn’t move at all, enjoying the blast until it was over.

And indeed it was over, at around 11 seconds, a fart fueled by beer and snacks. I heard my friend laugh as he gently pushed me away using his own ass. The turned around, with his usual smirk.

“It’s just too easy with you.” he said. 

I didn’t say anything, turning my attention to my backpack again. Despite Dave’s best (worst?) efforts, I was always embarrassed by this. My bro probably noticed this and stopped the teasing, getting ready himself for the hike.

As I mentioned, the temperatures were getting lower, so Dave changed clothes accordingly: he was now wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a long-sleeved t-shirt and the aforementioned rain jacket.

“Piss yellow? How the tables have turned.” I mocked him, commenting the color of the jacket.

“It’s ochre, you swine.” he said.

——

We were hiking in single file, with me being the last, in the woods, the temperatures getting lower; the mood was great however, and we occasionally improvised songs from a certain epic fantasy as we felt like we were marching towards a dark volcano or a dragon-infested mountain. The landscapes certainly helped the illusion of an epic tale: it was just a damn beautiful place; despite the Sun being still obscured by the mountains, we could still it was a picture perfect day, weather-wise: we couldn’t have chosen a better day to go camping and hiking.

My gay and kinky ass kept distracting me from truly appreciating the beauty of nature, as Dave was the one walking in front of me. Regardless of my fetish, Dave was a great-looking guy, so I couldn’t help but to stare at him for a few seconds whenever I could. My eyes would obviously land on his jeans-clad ass more than once, which were a bit loose but also wrapped nicely around his powerful butt as he walked. Disgustingly enough, I wished he could fart on me while wearing those, but I won’t deny I’d love to ask, but I will never do it, I’d feel like I’m crossing some boundaries I’m not supposed to cross, because at the end of the day Dave is straight.

I can at least enjoy the view… and considering that the human body is, well, not artificial, you can technically say I’m still enjoying the scenery nature had to offer.

——

The hype paid off: the waterfall, the main reason we came up here in the first place, was absolutely incredible. We were speechless, so stunned we didn’t even think to take a picture of it the moment we got there. We kept walking, following a route that would get us right in front of it, millions of small droplets of water already dampening our faces and clothes. This never-ending wall of water going down the mountain was a beast, and a loud one truth to be told: we had to yell because we couldn’t hear anything unless we stood really close to each other.

“I’m speechless.” I yelled everyone.

“What?!” everyone replied.

“I said that I’m speechless!” 

“Then why are you talking?!” Greg screamed back.

We didn’t have anything else to say as we stood in front of that wonderful display of nature, letting the water do all the talk. Finally we decided to become a boomer’s worst nightmare and pulled our phones out, taking pictures, posting stories and selfies. I saw Dave making a short video-call with Dana, even though the two could barely hear each other (but knowing them, that was the entire joke) while the other three of us settled for posting our pics on social medias.

It was still daytime (around 5:00 PM) but after about 20 minutes admiring the scenery, we decided it was time to hike back to the camp. 

Also, we were starving.

“You two want to make out or what?” Adam yelled, noticing me and Dave staying behind.

I explained (screaming like a demon) that Dave needed to send a couple more pics to Dana, but the phone’s signal was unstable, so I was waiting for him to not leave him alone there.

Adam gestured a “whatever” and he and Greg disappeared in the woods around the waterfall. 

After a couple more minutes, which I spent sitting down admiring that cathedral of nature, Dave put his phone in the backpack and sat next to me, at first in silence.

“I gotta take Dana to this place.” he thought out loud.

We kept sitting there, the loudness of the water rushing down the only thing we could hear despite ourselves. I decided to ruin the moment by reaching for something in my backpack.

“Beer?” I said, handing a can of beer to my bro.

“Always.” he replied.

We had a quick toast and enjoyed the view a bit more.

“Man that’s loud.” I commented, the waterfall’s noise starting to piercing my ear-drums.

Dave slowly turned to me, sporting an exaggerated smirk.

“Challenge accepted.” 

I guess it was his turn to ruin the moment.

He quickly stood up, now towering next to me, and I could once again admire that beautiful denim ass. He wasn’t gonna fart in my face, not there at least, but for some reason he just wanted to do it. It wasn’t because of me, I’m pretty sure: the guy just enjoys showing off.

I didn’t stand up, and just stared at Dave… waiting, until he turned his head down to me with a cheesy smirk.

“You can’t hear it?” he yelled.

I instinctively stared at his ass and focuses. I could barely hear it: it was one of his well-known farts, loud and proud, but he still couldn’t beat the waterfall.

Trying to hide my massive boner, I simply gestured my ear, as to say that I couldn’t hear it. My friend just laughed and I could see his eyes narrowing, as if he was forcing more gas out.

And truth to be told, I could hear the fart getting louder, still not as loud as the waterfall obviously, but damn that must have been incredible to hear in all of its glory.

Dave kept standing still, relaxing his ass muscles and pushing what was probably one of his longest and loudest farts out. I could notice the droplets coming from the waterfall being blown farther away once they got close to his denim ass, a sign of powerful that blast was.

Now I could hear it properly, which my friend noticed, as he once again stared down at me sporting a wide, silly smile, immaturely proud of his fart. Really putting the “ass” in the whole “asserting dominance”-thing he had going one since we got here.

I thought I was ruining the moment with that beer, but Dave is better at everything I guess.

The hardest thing (besides my penis) was fighting the urge to simply plant my face into that ass, so I could properly enjoy that massive display of farting-talent; I couldn’t complain however, since Dave is basically a terribly wonderful enabler for my fart kink.

Now I couldn’t hear the waterfall anymore, only the fart; that fact that I was right next to the source of the blast certainly helped, but that was impressive either way. Dave was visibly exhausted: that was too much even for him (and, probably, me), so he sat down next to me again, sighing in relief, and the fart ended. How long did that last anyway? Not only it was loud, it was extremely lengthy. If I had to guess, that was probably around 60 seconds! 

I tried to focus again on the waterfall, while Dave proposed another toast.

“To us.” he said, sounding as corny as you think.

“Really?” I replied, skeptical.

Dave simply laughed in response.

“You’re a disgusting weirdo, Tim.” he said, smiling, but those words didn’t hurt me at all, because I knew he wouldn’t say things like that to hurt me. “But takes one to know one.”

“Wait.” I was confused. “What does that mean?” 

“Don’t get any ideas now.” he quickly stated. “I just wanted to remind you how weird all of this is.” he took a sip of his beer. “How hilariously weird.” he laughed.

Dave, a straight guy, a good friend. Yes, I was the weirdo of the duo, but he doing what he does for me can be just as weird and the fact that he just doesn’t care only proves even more what a great bro he is, being ridiculously open-minded about all this stuff.

“You didn’t have to, you know?” I told him.

“Teasing you is hilarious.” he admitted. “Thanks for the laughs.” he patted my back.

I simply decided to remain silent, probably the best decision, and let the waterfall once again do all the talk, as the millions of droplets of water made our clothes soaking wet. Dave asserted his dominance, but the waterfall definitely had the last word.

——

Back to the camp, we quickly put some sausages with “Adam’s special sauce” on the barbecue (I’ll save you the mandatory jokes) and had a nice dinner all the 4 of us together, planning on what we were gonna do the next day; probably something simpler, not deep in the woods: the town were we left the car had a couple of good restaurants so like the bunch of city slickers we are, we decided to hang out there the next morning.

It was a windy night, but it wasn’t that cold outside, so both me and Dave lay down in our tent, next to each other, without sleeping bags. A small lantern lit the inside of the tent with a warm light. My friend was lying on his stomach, still wearing the long-sleeved shirt and the jeans from before, which I sadly immediately noticed. 

Dave’s face was even more lit because of his phone inches from his nose, which he was using to message Dana, as the continuous tapping and notifications sounds confirmed. Honestly, that was kind of annoying.

“Bro…” I whispered. “Can you… please, you know?” I said, hoping to sound just as annoying.

“Mh?” Dave replied, distracted by all the messaging.

“Please?” I repeated.

Dave smiled and resumed the noisy tapping. “Yeah sure, give me a minute.” 

“Nice.” I thanked him.

I simply laid down, staring at what can we consider the “ceiling” of our tent. That was a good day, we should actually do it more often.

“Alright.” Dave put his phone down, after indeed a minute passed. 

However, he kept moving for some reason. He laid down on his back and turned his entire body so his legs would be next to my head. But then, he cocked his denim legs up and made those go over my head, now fully showing off his denim ass right next to my face, which looked like a wall of jeans given how loose (almost sagging) it was.

“Dude, what the fuck?!” I almost yelled.

“Huh?” Dave said. All I could see was his denim ass, but I could tell he was confused.

“What the Hell?” I kept asking.

“Bro. You literally asked for it.” he explained.

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah you did!” he insisted, this time laughing a bit.

That felt surreal.

Then I realized.

“I was… I was talking about all the tapping, dude! If you could put that damn phone on mute!”

We remained silent for a couple of long seconds, then Dave broke the silence by laughing like an idiot.

“Sorry bro, I totally thought you finally had the guts to just ask for it ahah.”

“I would never!”

We kept talking like that, with my head inches from his ass, Dave just casually lying down like that as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Well…” my bro finally said. “Do you want me to fart or not?” he whispered, as we both remembered that Greg and Adam’s tent wasn’t far from us, even though they were already asleep.

The way he just casually asked got me massively aroused already. How in the world I manage to have a friend like him is beyond me, beyond my wildest dreams.

“It’s not like I have anything better to do anyway.” he then said.

Indeed, we were in the middle of nowhere.

“Okay…” I finally found the courage to speak. “But only if you want to.”

Dave laughed.

“I don’t want to fart in your face, bro.” he said, reaching for my head, pulling it even closer to his denim ass. “I want to fuckin’ end it. Ready?”

That was a rhetorical question. The blast that greeted me was massive, my face shaking due to the power of that fart. Whatever sauce Adam put on those sausages really messed with my friend’s stomach, which was already infamously powerful as well all know. The stench was unbearable and the entire tent shook because of the wind Dave was shooting out of his ass.

The natural blast kept going for about 12 more seconds, with my friend letting my head go halfway through the rip, knowing that I wasn’t going anywhere. At around the 16th second mark, the fart finally ended, leaving an invisible gas cloud engulfing the tent. The smell hit my bro as well, but he was basically immune at his own poisonous attacks.

Without moving his ass, he slightly got up, staring down at me from beyond that wall of jeans, with a silly smirk, checking for my reaction, which was awkward and speechless as usual, something that he’d always find amusing.

“Are you ok there, Tim?” we heard Greg yell from his tent.

Both of us laughed like idiots this time. “It’s all good!” Dave yelled. 

Maintaining eye-contact with me, with his ass still inches from my face, he started to suck air in. The facial expressions he made were just as hot as the sounds he was producing from his ass.

“Asserting dominance?” I casually asked.

Dave laughed again. “Nah, just making a thirsty bitch’s dreams come true.” he joked.

Once again, I wasn’t offended, nor Dave’s words were ill-intentioned. We always made fun of each other after all, and considering what was happening… I honestly deserved that.

My friend reached for my head one more time, pulling it close to his denim ass, now completely sagging, my nose rubbing against the red fabric of his sweaty boxer shorts. This time he was blasting me on command, but honestly there were no different from his natural ones. He was indeed really good at quenching my thirst, I couldn’t deny that.

It was a series of mid rips, loud and about 3 seconds long each. I wish Dave always had nothing better to do than blasting me, to be honest. I again heard our other friends’ yelling something, but the sound from Dave’s farts was so loud it reminded me of the waterfall.

The tip of my cock dampened as the barrage ended with a longer 9 seconds rip, which almost teared a hole through my friend’s red boxer.

He finally let me go and he resumed his previous position, lying down next to me.

“Dave…” I said. “I’ll never understand why you do it, but thanks.”

“I swear I’m gonna kick your ass if you keep saying that.” he replied, pushing me a bit.

I tried to relax, as if nothing happened, another thing that Dave was much better than me at. I closed my eyes and focused on having a good night sleep… but I heard all that tapping again.

“Really?” I said, turning to him.

“If you can handle the noises my ass makes, you can handle my phone, you hypocrite.”

“I… you… you KNEW I was talking about the phone the whole time!”

Dave simply turned to me, sporting the most annoying smirk he could mess me with.

“It’s just too easy with you.” he said one more time, and winked at me.

Truly asserting dominance, he raised one of his legs and a ripped a quick, loud one, effortlessly.

At this point I was just blushing like a fool. I turned my back to him to avoid eye contact because I was a mess. My bro is such a teasing bastard and I both hate and love him for this, but damn it’s getting way too hot in here. 

Luckily, the cold windy night helped cooling me down, even though there was more wind inside the tent than outside, because of Dave.

Maybe that’s why they call it “Windy Mountain” (yes, you knew it was coming).

End of Episode 24

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Sending you this because your takes on cucuhalo are interesting/pos:

The scene where cucurucho hysterically laughs as sipi tries to break bad's armour is meant to be bunny but also.....Q!Bbh first instict when Sipi was reporting him was to call cucurucho. He's definitely attached to him.

But when fighting sipi while bad desperately screeched for cucurucho, whom was laughing his ass off... I just wonder what you felt about that

(I'm all for the Bad needs attatchements and Cucurucho needs control theory)

NO NO NO OK BECAUSE I WAS SO ILL ABOUT THAT I WAS SOOOOOOO

OKAY LISTEN TO ME

OKAHY i need to stop screaming ok listen i think that that was such a MOMENT

Cucurucho has obviously been SOOO jealous today and yesterday over bad hanging out with ollie, i have a feeling that thats why he let sipi do that and was gleefully laughing while it happened (I think he let it happen for a MULTITUDE of reasons, one being to let out that jealousy and once again hear bad screaming his name(hehe)(suggestive but also it reestablishes bad's dependence to cucurucho), another to cover his ass since ollie immediately clocked cucuruchos attachment when she heard theyre roommates, and another because hes an evil little shit who thinks thats funny. Lowkey also think he was into watching bad run around terrified but thats a different thing to talk about......). It was such an INTERESTING moment to me hehehe i had so many thoughts about it, at some point i put myself in cucuruchos shoes (and my shipper shoes) and felt immense satisfaction hearing bad call for cucurucho, calling for his protection, like that was THE reaction cucurucho was looking for and hearing it was just so perf

I also found it super interesting that, despite having two witnesses who would point out bad's lie, bad felt comfortable enough to lie to cucuruchos FACE about what happened!!!! Most islanders are NOT about that life but bads one of few who know cucurucho favors him in some way and thinks/knows he can use it to his advantage!!!! like ollie and Sipi were RIGHT THERE and both called out his lie but bad had absolutely no problem confidently turning around and crying to cucurucho about how sipi had been mean to him and how cucurucho needs to punish them!!!!! I was expecting him to tell cucurucho sipi was being a jerk or biased or something but like THAT??? CRAZY!!!! I think it woulda worked too if cucurucho hasnt been on his absolute JEALOUSY streak!!!

I found afterwards very telling too!!! Cucurucho obviously got the reaction he wanted from bad in that chase, bad was screaming for him, he wanted cucuruchos safety, cucuruchos protection, cucuruchos validation in his accusations and that goddamn bear obviously wanted that because you can see how protective and less jealous he was afterwards!!!

Like first off, bro basically kissed bad goodbye when he was walking out of that office lets get that one straight.....

But second off when bad went afk on that carousel????? PERF!!! you could tell he was trying to make himself sit there and watch bad get bit (trying to keep himself mad, iykyk) but eventually he caved, saved bad, and EVEN GUARDED HIM!!!! He got protective and jealous when ollie sat next to bad and i think ollie knew it too!! She laughed at him all cheeky when cucurucho got jealous and asked what she was doing, and when she laughed at the question he went, and i quote "no, answer the question, what are you doing?" and then proceeded to SHOOT AT HER UNTIL SHE GOT OFF THE CAROUSEL!!!!!! AND THEN KEPT SHOOTING AT HER!!!!!! CRAZY!!! CRAZY!!!! INSANE!!!!!

ANYWAY can you tell im so normal about them