#bro had a friend for LESS THAN A WEEK and was back to being alone again

[thatonepikminperson]

Yeah so Pom hates being called Leo so much that she tries to get the others to call her Pom instead. This doesn’t work, aside from the exception of Dingo

[whirlybirbs]

— NOISE COMPLAINT ; eijiro kirishima ; 切島

summary: red riot feels really bad about absolutely wrecking the shit out of your treasured plants, or eijiro kirishima falls in love at first sight. pairing: f!reader / pro hero!red riot word count: 3.7k tags: mutual pining, fluff/comfort, humor, very gentlemanly make-out, reader is a fan of red riot, mention of ingenium thirst (truth) a/n: kiri might be a twenty-seven year old pro hero in this fic but he is an absolute lovesick virgin who gets all his romantic cues from k-dramas. you cannot force me to think otherwise.

This is exactly the sort of night you needed.

The television, low and quiet, drones on as a deep-dive video on terrariums plays. Your apartment is clean — dishes done, laundry folded and trash taken out. There's a new candle burning on the coffee table, and a Dynamight-themed, cucumber-melon eye mask plastered to your delightedly thoughtless expression.

It's supposed to be good for dark circles. It kinda burns. You wonder if maybe that's, like, part of the gimmick. Y'know. Burns. Dynamight. 

Whatever.

No thoughts. Only the pleasure of turning everything off — brain included — for a perfect Friday night, complete with a mediocre glass of wine and no pants. 

The oversized Red Riot t-shirt clinging to your frame is your favorite. You've had it since college — it's a simple red tee with REAL MEN RIOT blazoned across the front, complete with your favorite hero popping a cheeky, shark-like grin and a double bicep. It's faded, stretched out, and broken in but it's also clean, and it smells like fabric softener and comfort.

This is the life. 

Even Twitter is decidedly pretty calm tonight. 

You're scrolling through your timeline, snickering at your friends' recent thirst tweets over Ingenium's recent GQ Japan shoot when it starts.

Apparently, your upstairs neighbors are home.

You thought those guys were out of town for the week. 

You've had beautiful, silent bliss for too long. The buck stops tonight, you suppose.

There's a shout overhead, then a scramble. Another voice joins the fray, and you swear you hear someone call someone else an idiot. You frown deeply as your eyes trail upwards. You wait, expecting more noise, but unsettling silence follows.

Your eye twitches.

Annoyance tips into a simmering rage.

The apartment complex is old. It's in decent shape, and the rent isn't half bad, but the walls are thin. Your upstairs neighbors have been like this as long as you can remember: shouting, stomping, fighting... Some nights it's like being subjected to musical chairs, modern contemporary tap dance, and experimental sound drum solos all at once. 

Your first week was the worst. You dragged yourself up the back to knock on their door and politely negotiate some silence — but the man who opened the door was less than pleased to have his little dude-bro circle-jerk interrupted. He told you to fuck off, get bent, and leave him the fuck alone. 

Then, before he slammed the door in your face, he procured the sort of audacity only assholes possessed and laughed at your Red Riot shirt — which is just plain unforgivable, frankly. 

"That guy's a fuckin' pussy." 

Sure, sure, sure, right, right, right.

The interaction told you everything you needed to know about the two (or four?) men who lived upstairs. They were losers. And they were fuckin' annoying. 

And, as it turns out, manufacturing bad batches of Trigger. 

You don't know that yet, but truth be told it isn't exactly shocking.

Maybe it's your fault for picking an apartment complex in this part of Tokyo. This part of Arawaka Ward is rarely found on those top-ten-neighborhoods-for-young-professionals lists, but it's affordable! And for day laborers like you, it worked. And hey, in recent months, the crime rate has gone down at least 5% — which only quelled the anxieties of your mom and dad by about the same percentage. 

The candle on the coffee table flickers, and you're about to turn back to your slow Twitter feed when there's another bang upstairs — this one admittedly loud enough to send a wave through your wine beside you. You slip your eyes slowly to the glass, perched on a coaster, as another bang rattles your apartment. You reach to still the vibrating glass on the side table. 

That's when the shouting really starts.

And it's when you notice the growing brightness of red and blue lights outside the window.

The apartment complex is pretty big. There are about sixty residents and six floors. You lucked out and managed to snagone of the last available Western-facing studios with a balcony — which made for a perfect plant haven. 

It was a recent hobby, but one that quickly became your calm after the chaos of the day-to-day. Working for the city's Heroics Response Department left you picking up the physical pieces (literally) of a lot of��lives. Your quirk might be the usual, run-of-the-mill strength-based ability, but it comes in handy in the aftermath of property damage due to — what the Nation's Safety Commission has labeled — "villain-aggressed encounters". 

All in all, it's a good gig. It's physically demanding but rewarding. The pay is good, you've got union benefits, and you even have a per-diem schedule. It keeps you busy, and though it's not your father's construction business, it's a career path your parents are proud of. 

The slice-of-heaven balcony is bustling with plants. Some are happier than others, sure, but it's pretty. You've admittedlyformed an emotional bond with those vines, leaves, and flowers. 

It's perfect.

It's also perfect for snooping whenever things like this go down in your complex, or the sister complex across the parking lot. 

The shouting match upstairs is escalating, and you take the moment to tip-toe towards your balcony door to peek outside. It looks like two or three police cruisers have pulled up outside. Maybe someone called for a noise complaint? Maybe the property manager was tired of dealing with those losers?

Cackling to yourself, and hoping for a vindicating show of revenge (NO ONE CALLS RED RIOT A PUSSY), you yank open your balcony door and slip outside just as the sound of a pot crashing meets your ears.

Then:

"Shit, shit, shit—"

There's someone on the balcony. That someone's boot is currently stuck in an empty terracotta pot you were saving for spring. Your eyes are wide as you watch the shadow leap to his other foot, lose his balance, and unceremoniously knock over your entire, six-foot-tall, and well-treasured plant stand. You slap a hand over your mouth mid-shriek, hands flying to try and save whatever you can. 

You fail.

Eijiro Kirishima freezes.

What the fu—

It takes a second.

Like, a full second. Maybe even two. Your brain can't make sense of the sight before you. Neither can his, really. 

There's a girl on this balcony. A pretty girl. Like, mega pretty. Like soft and warm and cute and you smell kinda like vanilla — and there's... You're wearing his merch. His merch and... nothing else. Nothing else but a Dynamight eye mask and a pair of fluffy socks. 

...Is this what it's like to fall in love at first sight?

Shit.

Red Riot is on your balcony.

The Red Riot.

Red Riot, the hero in question, catches himself staring. His wide eyes openly wander over your figure (woah, okay, hello thighs), and the second he realizes it, he quickly snaps his eyes up to your face with a mortified expression. "Uh... hi!"

"...Hi...?"

Your expression is tied between shame, fear, and sheepishness as you blink once at him, then twice at the mess of your hobby's destruction. There's dirt everywhere, a plant stand blocking the doorway, and carnage. Your precious babies have been murdered. 

By Red Riot.

And... Red Riot is on your balcony. 

You repeat: Red Riot is on your balcony. 

Abort mission, abort mission.

Your lips part, your mouth hangs open, and every single thought in your head seems to stutter. Kirishima winces as you look down dejectedly at your plants (or, what remains) before he speaks.

"I, uh— is it cool if I..." he points upwards, "Use your balcony?" 

You're speechless.

You draw your mouth shut and nod hurriedly.

"Thanks," he grins, giving you a thumbs up — and a smile. A toothy, cute, nervous smile, "Lemme just... I gotta handle something. B-But, I'll be back. I'll help fix this mess — just... five minutes, okay?"

It hits you suddenly that his voice sounds different from all those interviews you've watched. It's a little warmer, a little raspier, a little less heroic. It's cute. 

Your brain is still having a hard time connecting the words coming out of his mouth to the scene before you — like, yes frontal lobe, this is real. This is happening.

Red Riot is real and Red Riot is on your balcony. 

He's shockingly gentle when he finally frees his boot from your terracotta pot, setting it down with purposeful delicacy — he even whispers 'please stay' as he props it upright — and then steps back to eye the balcony above yours like an athlete remembering a gameplan. 

He's trying to figure out the best way up. 

How he even got up here is news to you. 

(It was Uravity, as it turns out. They've been patrolling together more in this Ward.)

Red Riot is huge. Like, huge. 

Broad shoulders, rippling biceps, and long, fluffy crimson hair. It's daunting to realize how tall he is in person. The guy is a beast — everyone knows it — but his chivalrous nature is that thing that usually draws in his fans. It's no secret that Red Riot is sweet. He openly champions the need to be a good role model for men everywhere. Y'know, you can be strong and nice!

A sharp canine glints in your apartment's light as he pokes his tongue out and thinks for a second. 

Then, he settles on his plan. 

"You might wanna head inside," Red Riot says as he rolls his shoulders and bounces on the balls of his feet; he's readying up for a fight — and you blink as the beautiful realization dawns on you, "This could get kinda loud."

Loud?

Oh my god.

Is he here for your upstairs neighbors?

Oh my god, he is. 

Your jaw falls open as you bark out a laugh — it's an incredulous rasp that sends you into a spiral of joy; you're not a vengeful person by any means but...

"They're gonna shit themselves," you grin, your eyes alight with pure delight and a spark of something that reminds Kirishima a lot little bit of Bakugo, "They called you a pussy—"

Kirishima's brows shoot upwards as he pauses. He was about to jump and dig his hands into the underside of the balcony, but his quirk is stalling at your words. There's a roaring fire blazing in your eyes, one that screams retribution. 

It's... comical.

You cackle again at him with a wide grin, hissing conspiratorily. "They made fun of my shirt!"

You point down at the REAL MEN RIOT tee with both hands, your face set in a look of vindicated glee. Then, the second realization of the night hits — that you've got no pants on, and that stupid, goofy Dynamight eye mask is still on your face. You make a soft sound of embarrassment and tug your shirt down lower, trying to cover up. He cannot see your underwear. No. No way, no fucking way. Without a single word, you reach up, snatch the Dynamight eye mask off your face, and whip it off the balcony without a second thought. 

Slowly, Kirishima's face splits into a pointy grin. 

Holy shit, he's so fucking hot. 

"Oh, man," Red Riot rumbles, his face cracking into a sharp, playful smirk, "That's real rude. I might have t' teach these guys some manners."

Your smile returns, washing away the wobbly look of embarrassment sticking to your cheeks. 

Man, it sure is cute.

You are really cute, Kirishima realizes.

"Right! And who calls Red Riot a pussy?" you counter excitedly, before reigning it in and awkwardly lowering your arms as you try to tug your shirt down to hide the tops of your thighs again. Your glee has stifled a little bit, but it only reaffirms Kirishima's duty to wrap this all up. 

"Yea, that's, like, super misogynistic," he muses as his quirk kicks in and his hands flick into a hardened state. It's insaneto witness the way his large hands transform into weapons with a single breath. You can see the jagged extension of his quirk working up his large arms, too, "Lemme just have a lil' word with these boys, alright? Head on inside, I'll be back in a sec'."

Then, with graceful ease, he hops upwards with a little hup before latching to the base of the upstairs neighbor's balcony. 

It's insane how effortless it is for him to haul himself up the balcony, his hands dug into the cement. His upper body strength is insane. He's scaling the terrace, alternating his grip. He disappears into the dark, swinging his body upwards and reaching his destination.

You tamp down your awe in favor of heeding his directions: head inside.

You're closing the balcony door when you hear Red Riot's voice greet the unexpecting gaggle.

"Hey, fellas! I heard you guys are some super fans. Got anything you want me to sign?"

You snicker to yourself as you hear the beginning of a fight. 

Again, as it turns out, the guys upstairs sucked. Like, mega sucked. They'd been responsible for several recent Trigger overdoses; Uravity and Red Riot were working with law enforcement to track the small-time manufacturers — which explains why they'd been so quiet lately. They suspected someone was on their tail. 

As Red Riot scaled their balcony, law enforcement waited to break down their door. They arrested the four men (Seriously? Four? In that studio?) without much incident — however, you did spy a broken nose on one of them as they were hauled into the back of the awaiting cruisers. 

Sweet, sweet revenge. 

By the time your neighbors are carted off, you've shimmed into some sweats and made a half-assed attempt to look sort ofpresentable, all while firing off a few contextually incomprehensible texts into your group chat.

red riot has seen me in my underwear wtf do i do know kiss him?

You're really weighing your options when there's a knock on your balcony entry. It's gentle and cordial. You turn, head snapping, and spy that trademarked (and a dozen times retweeted) smile through the glass. He waves. 

Your heart leaps into your throat. You try to remember to breathe as you shuffle over and tug the balcony door open. The night air is cool.

Be like the night air.

Stay cool.

Eijiro feels so silly. And guilty. And honestly? Really into you. 

You're still wearing that shirt — the one with his face on it. You have opted to put on pants, but Kirishima still reminds himself to keep his eyes on your face. No ogling. That's not very gentlemanly. 

There's a beat of awkward silence as the two of you wait for the other to speak, and Kirishima is the one to break it with a raspy laugh.

"I wanted to apologize about your plants," a large hand moves to rub the back of his neck, "I cleaned up as best I could. I'm really, really sorry."

You wave him off, leaning into the doorframe. "No, it's okay! It's nothing I can't... fix. I think?"

You look beyond him to the catastrophic mess of plant matter. He must have tried tidying up while you rattled off the rapid-fire texts in the group chat. 

Red Riot's face warbles into something tied between mortification and guilt. "Please forgive me."

"Seriously!" you cry, waving your hands as you try to placate his dejected expression, "Please don't feel bad. It's a fair trade, y'know. Those guys upstairs were, like, the worst."

"I can only imagine," Eijiro concedes, frowning a little, "They didn't give you too much trouble, did they?"

You shake your head and laugh a little, "Aside from insulting my favorite hero to my face? Not really."

Kirishima can feel his face get a little hot. He shifts from boot to boot. His smile is a little woozy. "So... you're a fan?"

You don't need to tell him the underwear you have on matches the shirt — red, with an embroidered RR on the front. You keep that to yourself. You just nod happily.

"Really?" his grin cracks into something so excitable it makes your entire stomach flip, "I don't meet a lotta fans who are..."

His words drift off.

He's staring at your eyes. You're so... soft. Warm. Your eyes are swirling with quiet, astonished adoration and it's making Kirishima feel like he's floating. 

"Who are...?" your brow quirks as you lean deeper into the doorframe, trying to coax out the rest of the sentence.

"Gorgeous," he breathes, his posture relaxing a little as he soaks in your expression.

It's like getting sucker punched to the sternum.

All the wind rushed out of your lungs.

The soft moment only lasts a beat, because suddenly Red Riot's face screws up and he waves his hands hurriedly. "Wait, no. Hold on, I mean — all of my fans are gorgeous, because, uh, they're my fans and I love them, right? It's not like they're not gorgeous, I just — I'm... I... My fans are, like, usually dudes? A-And that's totally cool because dudes can be gorgeous, too, y'know? But—"

You're laughing.

Kirishima is realizing he was not paying enough attention in his agency's PR training last month and you're laughing.

"I get it," you giggle, crossing your arms and grinning up at him, "I mean, I definitely don't think I'm gorgeous but—"

"You are," he assures firmly, his expression serious.

Are you dead?

Are you, like, literally ascending to a higher plane right now?

There's no fucking way this is happening. 

Your lips part in quiet shock as you bite back a smile that threatens to cramp up your cheeks. Kirishima eats it up, his posture perking up at the way you seem to melt at his compliment. His smile is boyish — almost dizzy. 

You duck a bashful look towards the tiled floor of the balcony, not really giving a singular shit that your beloved monstera has been stomped on.

Kirishima clears his throat, then — in a move he totally hasn't swooned over in those K-dramas he's secretly obsessed with, that'd be ridiculous — he props his arm up against your door and leans over you. Your faces are close in the warm light of the balcony. 

Your eyes stutter up his abdomen, chest, jaw, lips, and eyes. Kirishima notices. It's really, really cute.

"Are you, uh... Are you seeing anyone?" 

Of course, Red Riot would ask that. Red Riot, the king of chivalry. How is something like that so endearing? For the tenth time tonight, he makes your stomach flip.

You shake your head no, a little too stunned to speak.

"Cool," Eijiro musters over a shake of nerves, "Cool. Okay. Uh, then would it... would it be okay if I bought you some new plants?"

You nod, swallowed entirely by his shadow. He's so fucking huge. 

"And if I took you to dinner?" 

Another nod.

"...And — shit. You're, like, so cute," the smooth persona he's put on melts a little as his eyes roam your face; you feel so... shy, "I was gonna ask you something else but..."

"My number?" you offer, fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you maintain eye contact. 

Is it hot? You're sweating. Is he sweating? He's hot. 

Eijiro nods, absolutely mesmerized by the way you tug your lip between your teeth. "That. Yea."

He has to fight back the urge to bite his knuckle when you turn away and move towards your kitchen to snag your phone. Kirishima stays put, allowing himself one moment of ogling. When you turn around, he's clearing his throat and crossing a boot over his ankle. 

He's still leaning up against the doorway.

"Here," you slip him the phone.

Eiijiro takes it — then hesitates for a second.

"...You're not gonna leak my number, are you?"

You have to laugh. You rub your cheek and shake your head before crossing your arms and looking up at him. "If you think I'm going to do anything to fumble this, you're wrong." 

Fumble this? Fumble him? He's the one that is at risk of fumbling, are you serious?

Eijiro barks out a surprised laugh as he enters his number, shoots a quick text his way then ignores the buzz in his back pocket. He hands your phone back and tries so fucking hard to ignore the way your fingers brush his. 

He got your number.

Holy shit, he got your number.

"Hey, Red Riot?"

He blinks down at you. "Y-Yea?"

You gesture for him to come closer, and he obeys easily — he bends a bit at the waist, his hair falling along his shoulders as he smiles down at you in the threshold of your apartment.

"Is everything alri—?"

You pop a chaste kiss against his cheek. 

Or, try. 

As you hop up onto your tippy toes to kiss his cheek, Eijiro is turning his head at the sound of Urvaity calling his name simultaneously. Trajectory failed, and now it's lips and lips instead of lips on cheek — and honestly? He owes Ochaco one for this. 

Red Riot melts — actually, truly, genuinely melts. His posture slumps down as you let out a shocked little sound of apology. But, Eijiro doesn't mind, and fuck, neither do you — because one hand braces against the doorframe above your head while his other hand is suddenly on your waist. He steadies himself, and damn. Damn. 

He breaks away when Uravity calls his name again. Kirishima is breathless and blushing, and your knees feel like jello. 

"I... Uh, I gotta go—"

"Yea, totally," you breathe, swallowing down the burn of unfiltered attraction, "Sorry, I was trying to kiss your cheek—"

Another call of his name. Red Riot curses softly before hollering a 'COMING!' over his shoulder, out past the edge of the balcony. 

When he turns back, he's fast to sweep you into another kiss — this one hotter than before. This one draws you into his chest, sending your hands colliding with the hot skin of his chest. There's muscle and scars and heat beneath your fingertips. His hand curls around your lower back, and you nearly moan. 

He peels himself away with an apologetic look as he backs towards the edge of the balcony. "I gotta go — I'll text you once patrol is over. Is that okay? I'm serious about the plants. And dinner." 

All you can do is nod.

Eijiro is kinda proud of himself for stunning you stupid with that kiss.

This is exactly the sort of night you needed.

[somewhereincairparavel]

Annabeth Chase and Jason Grace - two sides of the same coin, an analysis post.

after a long wait, I've finally posted my analysis on jason/annabeth being similar, and mirroring eachother as rivals/potential sibling figures more than percy/jason's 'bro rivalry', based on this post of mine which has crossed over a THOUSAND notes in the last week alone, and I've been getting so many reblogs and comments asking me to expand on my tags in that post and do a full analysis. so here it is. I've been procrastinating this for quite a while now for some reason but I'm glad I'm over my writer's block and I got to articulate my post well enough.

annabeth and jason have had very minor interactions throughout hoo, but the parallels and similarities in their character is jarringly noticeable, which is why I hoped for a jason/annabeth rivalry and not a percy/jason rivalry. they've both been raised at their respective camps since they were literal kids, they were well versed in their respective fields of knowledge, and were well respected/intimidated in their camps.

let's start off with the lost hero

when jason first meets annabeth, he says that her eyes were really intimidating and fierce, so right off the bat, we have jason who's pretty put off by annabeth because she very obviously looked angry, especially since she was frustrated about jason's arrival instead of percy, and looked like she could kill jason to get percy back.

-----------------------------------------------

this parallels to a lot when hazel kept going on about how difficult it was to warm up to jason because his eyes were always calculating and cold, and he gave off an untrustworthy vibe, that he'd sacrifice anyone for the sake of the mission.

both annabeth and jason have a certain similar ‘look’ in their eyes, which have nothing to do with the color. they both have the tendency to make people nervous simply with their eyes, because they always look like they're thinking of new things every few seconds. Ironically, jason first perceived annabeth, the way everyone else perceived him. scary and intimidating with an icy glare and hardened eyes.

They were both said to be ‘studying’ each other in distrust many times throughout. A part of why they didn't trust each other, was, in my opinion, because they embodied their least favorite shared personality trait of each other, secretiveness and guardedness. which is why annabeth got on so well with percy, and jason with leo/piper.

they didn't admire the closed off-ish vibe that they gave eachother. they both needed people who were open and carefree.annabeth said that jason looked like he knew too much information, but chose to keep it all a secret, very similar to her own guardedness from time to time, keeping it a secret and wanting to deal with it silently.

we also know that annabeth and jason are extremely knowledgeable in greek/roman mythology, they both love debates and were quite passionate about history. they were both assigned architecture projects by the gods themselves as a mark of honor and favour.

moving on to the next most important point, they reminded eachother of the people they missed, causing them to feel resentful.

jason, barely met his sister after they reunited. he was bitter when thalia said he had to go look for percy to help out annabeth with the search. he was aware that thalia and annabeth were childhood friends, getting closer to eachother than jason and thalia ever did. she found a home in luke and annabeth, not even a few months after baby jason was thought to be ‘dead’, that knowledge would've weighed a lot on jason. annabeth became the sibling to thalia grace that jason could never be.

while annabeth? the only thing annabeth thought of, after jason had a face off with his mother's remnant in boo, was the fact that jason, who looks eerily similar to luke, could've experienced the exact same fate as him. luke was jason if he had more wrath and held grudges, jason was luke if he had less anger and resentment. annabeth could connect the dots so easily, and that was truly the moment where she gained immense respect for him.

and, when jason told annabeth that his sister was thalia? she had a very odd sort of expression on her face.

annabeth also quotes that looking at jason made her feel bitter, because he reminded her of heras exchange, and the fact that she lost percy for months. whenever she looked at jason, she would only see her two childhood friends, a found family that was broken, and a love that was challenged.

whenever jason looked at annabeth, he would be reminded that thalia had a closer contact to her than she did jason, and had to accept that he would never know thalia as much as annabeth does.

annabeth and jason also appear very confident and sure of themselves, but have second thoughts all the time. they had to put on a fake facade, to live up to their expectations and lineage.

they were both also sort of people pleasers, annabeth couldn't really say no to anyone who asked her for help with things, like carrying the sky for luke especially, because not only where they giving her a chance to execute her knowledge and skill, the thought of helping someone made her genuinely happy. jason also loved seeing people happy, always wanting to say the right thing to satisfy someone, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own struggles to help them.

fatal flaws:

annabeth’s fatal flaw, is hubris. when you are confident and sure that you can do something, and have a sense of excessive self pride.

and jason's fatal flaw is the temptation to deliberate. hesitation and second guessing, to put it in simpler words.both fatal flaws are so different, yet so similar, and they have both flaws, just in a different viewpoint.

as a child of athena, annabeth appears super confident and even conceding at times because of her wisdom, but at the same time, annabeth had to make sure she was one step ahead of everyone. she had to rethink everything and had to have a plan in her mind all the time, fearing that things wouldn't go smoothly.

she had to hesitate and second guess herself alot, despite her knowledge, like she did when she knew she had to look for the mark of athena. piper and percy had to boost up her confidence with affirmations, to let her know she's on the right path and to just follow her gut. annabeth feels obligated to have a temptation to deliberate, because, as a child of athena, she has to be all knowing and wise, and most definitely cannot fail her mother.

and jason? despite having a very low sense of self esteem and hesitation, he was so used to leading the people who were considered slightly inferior to him in camp jupiter, and basically getting treated like a celebrity for 12 years of his life in camp jupiter, that often, he thought what he did was right, he had his own perception of what a hero should be, and I quote

[“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.” “You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”Jason tilted his head. “I mean… sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos… even a god”- Tower of Nero]

which was normal, since he had everyone basically following his lead without question as a kid. he's expanded on this in his conversation with piper in mark of athena, where he said he felt weird to suddenly be around people who were either equal/or superior to him in power, and not being in the ‘lead’ particularly.

jason had hubris, but certainly not in a way that you would call it an ego or excessive pride. he was hardwired and brainwashed into having his own perception of what is right and what is wrong, that he thought he was always making good enough decisions, at least from a roman child soldier’s standpoint. [Like when he was okay with not saving nico because it might sabotage their mission, he genuinely didn't think what he said was insensitive until hazel called him out, because he was brought up that way. he thought he was doing the right thing, by prioritising the mission and the duty, first. Like the dutiful roman he was made to be].

both annabeth and jason, have hubris and a temptation to deliberate.

annabeth and jason, also had an extremely difficult time breaking free from the thoughts that their godly parents were always right. It took on alot of disappointments for both of them to stand up to their parents (and not just godly ones, mind you)

they've both had disappointing absent mortal and godly parents with a hostile stepmother involved and monitored with each and every one of their moves. annabeth has had to deal with her stepmother playing the ‘bad cop’ with her father not even coming to her defence, just the way hera came butting into jason's life and giving him terrible memories, taking him away from thalia, with zeus not even caring.

speaking of which, they are both the only demigods who have harboured the most amount of resentment for hera. just the sight of hera pisses them both off, as it hera, stripped off so much time away from annabeth and percy, and memories from jason, which he never permanently got back.

this is sort of irrelevant but I'll add this anyway, in boo, athena also immediately liked jason for calling out zeus's unfairness to apollo, saying something like 'the boy is right' and she gave him an approving/appreciative look for his wisdom, which is pretty rare for athena to say or do to literally any demigod ever. this makes me wonder if she ever saw jason as someone who had some sort of athena legacy in him, which is why she was so pleasantly surprised with him. ugh we could've so gotten jason and annabeth as potential sibling figures bc of how many parallels they have, too bad that the percy/jason rivalry narrative was pushed too hard.

I hope I've drawn enough parallels with their characters, as a lot of you have been looking forward to this post for a while, hopefully this analysis hasnt been underwhelming for you all to read!

@thevoidcaller @karmaajr @onestorytorulethemall @newlyfoundwren @thesummerstorms

[hanjisungslag]

attack on titan headcanons #10

synopsis: how the characters react when you, their s/o, gets hurt. 🩹

characters involved: eren, mikasa, armin, jean, connie, sasha, reiner, bertolt, annie, levi, erwin and hange

notes: i am cooking up a storm, so watch out for that & also hit double digits!!

☆ eren jaeger

bro is INFURIATED

“WHO DID IT HUH?! ILL KILL THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS-”

oh.. you got injured in training? poor babyyy☹️

he’s super sweet and gentle with you.

if anyone tries to go near you though.. he’s super scared they’re gonna accidentally hurt you😭.

so he’s always at the edge of his seat ready to rescue you if needs be.

he gets all of your food, water, clothes, bandages etc.

then the nurses catch him doing it and have to YANK him off of you, once again.

☆ mikasa ackerman

so incredibly caring and concerned 🤍

she was the one who found you on the expedition with a broken leg

she refuses you to the hospital

lets the nurses do their jobs (thank god)

she really wants to be able to help nurse you back to health as well though..

she gives you the next best thing aka massages.

she literally comes in everyday and gives you 3 massages minimum a day

she’ll also sleep in the hospital with you most days.

☆ armin arlert

nothing less than an angel.

for however long you’re in the hospital, he’ll bring you flowers

in there for 3 weeks? new flowers every week.

in there for a week? new flowers every other day.

reads you books every night to help you sleep

sleeps there EVERY single night

always gives good morning and good night kisses

keeps you updated with what’s going on with everyone and training to make sure you don’t miss out.

makes sure to surprise you by bringing your friends there too!! it was a super sweet surprise.

when you’re sleeping, he goes around asking nurses if they need help😖.

☆ jean kirstein

UGH TERRIFIED FOR YOUUU

he has to hype himself up before going to see you in hospital because it just breaks his heart.

but being able to see you, hug you, know that you’re being taken care of makes him feel wayy better.

he’s just happy to see that you’re not too badly injured.

just a sprain from training!

he likes to draw things for you from the outside

or you guys draw together.

yk that cute game where one person draws a squiggle and the other person has to make into a drawing?

yeah, you guys do that. and it’s frickin adorbs😡

☆ connie springer

you went to do some late night training by yourself

and cornelius found you on the ground. in a lot of pain.

he rushed you to the first aid

fastest anyone has EVER seen that man run

you got cleaned up but had to take a break from training until you were better.

definitely tries to make you laugh all the time

even with your injury, he still wants to see you happy and smiling 🤍

☆ sasha braus

aw bless her cotton socks.

your injury wasn’t fatal enough to warrant a hospital stay

but the nurses said to stay home and rest up!

you had to take care of your scar

in her own time, sasha headed over to first aid to ask the nurses how to help you properly☹️.

you literally do not lift a finger!!

she does everything for you, like cleaning it up, wrapping it up etc.

and she’s really good at it and all…

☆ reiner braun

he’s like a scared little boy.

he’ll sit by your side and tell you it’s all okay

but when he’s alone.. HE GETS SO UPSET

sometimes he’ll take ‘bathroom breaks’ just to pull himself together because he hates seeing you in this state :(.

really affects his everyday life

but he hides it well.

BIGG celebrations as soon as you’re out of hospital

is literally like a servant, will get you everything and anything you want.

☆ bertolt hoover

GAH SO ANXIOUS!!

he bakes you cookies for being so brave☹️.

he stays with you all day long until the nurse finally tells him he has to go.

it breaks his heart leaving you but he gets up bright and bloody early to see you in the morning

like i’m talking the second the hospital opens up.

☆ annie leonhart

she’s not nervous,

your injury wasn’t fatal or anything.

she’ll still visit you, of course ;)

she also makes sure to tell you how brave you are

since you are scared of hospitals.

she’ll giggle at your wimpy-ness though.

like you were getting patched up and you were just like trying not to scream

and she was just standing there chuckling at you.

☆ levi ackerman

so so so scared, secretly.

he has lost one too many people

but to lose you? that would completely and utterly BREAK him.

it was a pretty gnarly injury as well…

which was rather terrifying for both you and him

but he’ll keep a cool persona around you.

if he’s unable to visit due to work, he’ll ring the hospital and asks how you are.

he’ll always make time to come see you though, no matter what!!

☆ erwin smith

he hears from his assistant that you’ve been put into hospital

he runs STRAIGHT over and makes sure to comfort you.

he’ll stay till dark when you’re asleep and pay the nurses a visit too

he asks them to take extra good care of you.

if he’s unable to see you, he makes sure to call you up every single day

or at least have SOMEONE come check on you.

☆ hange zoë

GAH!! FREAKS OUT!

hange has seen it all at this rate

but doesn’t seem to heavily affected.

they’ve never really had anyone close to them be extremely injured

they were sooo scared though :(.

it was really sad for everyone to see hange’s energy so low but

they couldn’t help it!!

all they could think about was their poor love in hospital :(.

when they’re around you though, they try to stay positive! and tells you all about their work to keep you both distracted.

[dotster001]

hiiii

can I request a part 2 for "when they break up with reader to try date other person just to notice they still in love with reader, but now reader is with someone else" but with ace, azul, rook and idia please?

Note. Unfinished. It may be finished later, but I can't promise it.

Summary: Gn! reader x Ace and Azul. Rook and Idia are not here at this time.

Part One

Ace Trapola

Ace just disappeared one day. Even though he'd been your friend long before you started dating, he just…stopped answering your texts. Didn't show up to your shared classes. Wasn't at lunch. And you knew.

He'd told you the last person he dated, he had ghosted them. He'd told you he was an adult now. He'd grown. He'd lived a little bit of life. He wouldn't do that to you. But here you were. By the second day, you knew. And even if you didn't, the looks on your other friend's faces told you everything you needed to know.

Whatever. If he wanted to act like a child, that was fine. He was remarkably gifted at avoidance, considering other people had seen you both in the same room together even if you hadn't seen him, but you didn't care. It would save you angst later and allow you to move on. A week in, you caught glimpses of him again, and a week after that, he was back to being your friend. By then, he was dating someone else. Perhaps he'd been dating them for a while. You really didn't want to know.

A month later, Deuce had sheepishly appeared at your door. He confessed to have been in love with you forever, even before Ace was. He assured you that he realized it might be too soon, but if you ever felt like giving love another shot, he'd be willing to volunteer. Ace had never looked at you with so much love. And Deuce…well…he was Deuce! A part of you couldn't help but be in love with him! So you told him you'd give it a try.

Ace nearly killed him the first time you walked together at lunch. How dare he! Whatever happened to bro code! You were off-limits in case he ever got bored of his current partner. What part of that did Deuce not understand?

But he kept his cool. In their duo, he was the cool one, and he wouldn't stop that now.

That cool lasted another week when Ace threw a punch at Deuce because he kissed you. Ace didn't have the fighting experience Deuce had, so he was destined to lose. But he got a few good bruises on Deuce before you and Jack separated them.

You gently tended to Deuce's bruises, and Ace scoffed. "You don't need to baby him, Y/N."

You stood up in fury. "We're not together anymore, Ace! You made it very clear you don't want me. So just leave me alone, okay!" That hurt worse than the black eye he was starting to feel. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, trying to come up with a good retort, but you were ignoring him now. Just like he ignored you.

Azul Ashengrotto

He never would have been able to hold onto you. You'd learn that he was a stupid octopus and go for someone else. So he decided to outplay you. If he broke up with you first and dated someone "better," especially if he didn't love them, you couldn't hurt him, and they couldn't hurt him. 

He lined up his “superior prey”, prey that had enough benefits to outweigh the loss of your love, and coldly broke it off over dinner. Perhaps he didn't need to hurt you in the breakup, but he figured the crueler he was, the less you could hurt him.

He was wrong. So wrong. He didn't see you in the lounge for quite some time. The school year ended, and he returned for his third year, and he still didn't see you visit. Not even Jade or Floyd could find you.

So when you walked in on Jamil's arm, wearing a ruby red locket around your neck, reminding Azul of a collar intended to warn people you were taken, he felt his stomach roll.

He came to your table personally, and felt even worse when you seemed so happy.

"Azul! It's so good to see you. You look well," You say brightly, no hard feelings in your face at all.

"You as well," He says, full manager mode. You look more than well. You look breathtaking. But he couldn't say that. He had destroyed you, het you'd built yourself up. Jamil sipped his glass of watter, a smug look in his eyes.

"I'll be personally seeing to your table tonight. Drinks are on the house, with a purchase of the 50 thaumark per person special," He said with a suave bow. "Take some time to discuss your order."

As he turned to leave, he watched from the corner of his eye as Jamil took your chin in his hand and kissed you deeply. He knew it was performative. That Jamil was showing off what he had.

And there was nothing Azul could do about it.

Taglist: people who requested more lol idk if they are still here @kimilight

[sc0tters]

Littlest Hughes - Mark Estapa

summary: when a game of beer pong turns interesting you learn to realise that your brothers friend isn't so bad after all.

trope: forced proximity

warnings: sexual themes, p in v (unprotected!), underaged drinking, swearing, fingering.

word count: 3.67k

authors note: to the people that remember when this idea came out in like November, thanks for being patient cause Mark and the beerpong fic are now here! everyone thank @hischierhaze for making this one come out long before she was actually intended to be here for you all. if you want to look at more of the 500 celly then you can do so here!

You swore you hated him. 

It was the idea of having someone you couldn’t stand in the slightest. The kind of person you couldn’t even be in a room with as you just wanted to gauge your eyes out. Someone who made you feel so irritated that the mere thought of them had you getting angry. 

Now you have weren’t entirely sure why he pissed your off in the ways that he did. But as Mark seemed to hate you just as much as you hated him, you were never going to be in a rush to improve your relationship. Yet the problem arose when he instead opted to get close to your brother, Luke. 

The boys were teammates and it was enough to make your whole family agree that your negative relationship with Mark wasn’t enough to stop him from being invited to the lake house. It was Luke’s first summer as an NHL player and those friends from college were the very men that Luke missed so much. So being the best younger sister that you were, you agreed to bite your tongue. 

That’s how you landed up spending a week with his closest friends and for the most part you were having a good time. 

“God you are such an ass!”

Key word, for the most part. 

Mark smirked as he held your top over his head leaving you in nothing more than your blue and yellow bikini “you and I both know that those aren’t the right words.” He teased continuing to lean up each time you reached for the baseball jersey “I will kick you Estapa stop being a dick.” You spat as you crossed your arms sending him a glare. 

Before Mark could respond Luke walked into the room “bro could you not leave my sister half naked?” Your older brother gagged as he shook his head “till next time kid.” Even though there was less than two years between you both Mark still loved that nickname. 

So as he dropped your shirt in your hands you couldn’t help but scowl at him “fuck off.” You growled pulling the shirt over your arms “you wanna go on the boat you two?” Jacks offer pulled your attention away from the boy as you nodded “sounds great!” You nodded leaving the boy alone as you went to be in peace for the next few days.

You weren’t a hockey player, it wasn’t your thing but what is your thing is beer pong. Yet unfortunately for you it seems that the only person worthy of being your opponent was Mark. So that was how you both ended up being the last ones left in what felt like the longest game of beer pong that anyone had seen “you two see an end in sight?” Quinn groaned as he looked down to his watch when he let out a yawn. 

It was this endless back and forth where you would each win a game and would then refuse to let them take it and that’s how you ended up at 12-13 with the only rule that to be crowned champion you’d have to win by two games “you ready to give up?” You sent the boy a glare as it only made the Michigan player laugh “just when I thought you could have been stronger than you actually came off.” The compliment was backhanded as Mark laughed. 

The boys responded with groans as the idea of this game continuing made them all feel sick “I’m going to bed.” Quinn announced as he shook his head “me too.” With that boys went in groups as your constant bickering got tiresome. 

Seven games had gone on and the new score was 16 all and you were just as irritated now as you were then “could you hold off on killing each other until tomorrow?” Ethan asked as he let out a yawn “want to watch it happen.” Mackie laughed as he nodded in agreement only going quiet when Luke sent them a glare.

Your brother rolled his eyes as he placed his hand on your shoulder “please just let him win so you can both go to bed?” Luke mumbled hoping that you would agree “never.” You grumbled as you refused to give Mark that kind of joy. 

So of course things continued and you guys were left alone but not before Luke kissed your head “now you don’t got your big brother helping you out.” Mark teased as he got the ball between his fingers as he lined up his shot. 

Mark smirked as he saw you pull your hair into a hair tie “tryna distract me with your skin?” The boy mumbled seeing your collarbones pop through the red cami vest that your were in “cause it’s not gonna work.” He added making you laugh. 

It was a hearty one as your teeth caught your lower lip “please the mere thought of tits are gonna have you not seeing straight.” You pressed your hands against the table exposing your body more to him “you wanna bet?” Mark made little effort to ignore the white lace that so clearly stuck out of your top. 

He took your silence and furrowed eyebrows as curiosity “winner takes all this game.” The hockey player offered making her scoff “higher stakes though as we’re now doing strip beer pong.” His offer was only met with the sounds of your scoff.

You crossed your arms as you couldn’t help but send him a glare “you just want to see me naked.” You rolled your eyes not wanting to give into him “don’t flatter yourself princess you aren’t my type.” Mark shook his head as he wasn’t interested in you like that “but if you are scared you’re gonna lose then I can accept-” you couldn’t even let him finish his sentence. 

“Throw the damn hall Estapa.” 

A scoff left your lips as you watched him go back to angling the hall and of course it just had to land in the beer “should we go with your shirt or your shorts first?” Mark teased as he watched you hook your fingers into your shirt before you pulled it over your head revealing the white bra you loved so much as it had a little golden v in between the wires to compliment your skin “not bad.” The boy mumbled to himself as he had seen you in less before but never in something with lace. 

You took your cup and brought it to your lips letting the unsweetened liquid hit your tongue as you chugged it back not caring at the amount that dripped down your chin “what?” You asked dropping the cup to the ground as the boy looked like he was watching a dream “nothing.” Mark ignored how your lips were wet and the top of the lace of your bra as getting soaked as beer dropped down your chest. 

Of course your ball went in and off went his shirt, it was followed by your shorts and then his. Until eventually you were both only on your undergarments “need some help getting that bra off?” Mark joked as he watched you reach behind your back but not before you flipped him off. 

The idea of anyone being able to come down at any point didn’t seem to bother either of you as you clicked the clasp of your bra letting it fall down your arms as the cool summer night air made your nipples harden “you really do have secrets Hughesy.” Mark felt his mouth water as his eyes were drawn to the sparkling titanium bar that was pierced through your left nipple “shut up.” You grumbled as you attempted to ignore the way his hardening stare made you feel. 

As you potted your final ball it left the boy having to discard of his boxers “don’t bother with those.” You mumbled leaning down to grab your bra from the floor “would hate to see what isn’t there.” The claim was a total slap in his face and you knew what you were doing as you aimed to piss him off. 

It infuriated Mark with how well you knew to get under his skin “please you’d be lucky if I fucked you.” You began walking over to him as your bra was thrown onto the table “Mark I don’t think you even know how to make a girl come.” You shot back as you pressed your finger into his chest “I’d have you struggling to walk tomorrow.” Mark shook his head as he wrapped his hand around your wrist pushing your hand away from his chest.

This was the closest you had ever been to him before as his eyes pierced yours “I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last man on this planet.” You laughed as you turned to walk away but the boy was quick to pull you back “so if I felt those pretty little panties would they be dry?” His voice was barely a whisper as he walked you back against the table until you were finally sat on it.

Your eyes were wide as you shook your head desperate to not give him the enjoyment of seeing that he had indeed won “be as dry as the desert.” You spoke through gritted teeth almost squealing as Mark dug his fingers into the skin of your hips “you gonna let me test my theory then?” He asked dropping his head to the point where his lips hovered over yours.

All you could do was nod as you before his lips were on yours. It was messy as your hands your tugging through his hair like you didn’t want him to ever leave you “fuck.” He grumbled feeling your teeth sink down onto his.

It was like you knew what you were doing as you smirked “even as I’ve got you ready for a good fuck you’re still acting like a fucking brat.” The college boy growled pinching your chin between his fingers as he clenched his jaw “what are you gonna so about it?” You sent him a smirk as you swore that if this was a battle, you were winning it.

Mark spoke to himself under his breath as he dropped his head to your jaw as he began planting kisses on your skin “shouldn’t even fucking treat you well.” His voice sent shivers through your ears as he continued dropping his lips down your chest “saw you looking at it.” His eyes locked onto your breast “you can touch it y’know.” You teased tugging your fingers through his hair making him groan in the process. 

He wasn’t going to be told again as he latched his lips around your pierced nipple as he groaned swirling his tongue around the piece of jewellery “fuck.” You swore trying to shut your legs to relieve the tension between your thighs “you still think that I can’t make you feel good?” Mark brought his hands down to your legs making you shiver as he forced your legs open. 

You chewed at your lip watching him get closer to the pool that had formed in your panties “when I speak you need to answer me princess.” You swore the hockey player growled as you nodded “know you can’t.” The tough facade you had up was hanging by a thread and it only grew weaker with how his hands grew closer to your core.

A gasp left your lips as his hand cupped your core “fuck!” Your moan was swallowed by his lips “you little liar.” Mark clicked his tongue as a wet patch formed in your panties “please.” His thumb pressed against your clit where it drew soft circles.

Your head dropped against his shoulder as your body grew soft “what do you need pretty girl?” Marks voice was soft as he left a kiss on your forehead “you.” You croaked out as he toyed with your panties finally pushing them to the side. 

Mark teased you as you shook your head “want more.” You whimpered looking up at him with a pout “please.” You begged edging your cunt closer to his fingers “didn’t know that all I needed to do was fuck you to get you to shut up.” Mark sighed as he teased your slit. 

His fingers took their time plunging into your cunt “god!” Your groan was swallowed by his hand “you want your brothers to hear how much you enjoy my fingers fucking your pussy?” The hockey player rasped into your ear as you shook your head. 

His fingers were thick against the walls of your cunt as he curved his fingers into a come here motion “they can’t.” You mumbled growing panicked as you were reminded of how all three of your brothers were upstairs “then keep those pretty little lips shut if it’s not gonna be too hard for ya?” Mark tauted you as you mewled under his attention.

You clenched around him as you nodded finally going quiet “like having you all quiet now.” As you tilted your head up trying to bring your body closer to his Mark took the opportunity to nip at your neck “no!” You gasped as he inserted a third finger not caring about your protests. 

Mark smirked as he didn’t care “think you’re in a place to make the demands?” He scoffed as he clicked his tongue “thought you were smarter than that.” The hockey player teased as you pouted “the boys are gonna see.” You complained as his eyes sharpened. 

Somehow the words made his whole demeanour change “you worry what those boys are gonna think of you now?” Mark spat as he increased the pace of his fingers as he fucked your cunt “like you really gonna now care about them seeing you like the slut you’ve become f’me?” He added standing up straight as he glared at you. 

Your lips remained sealed as you tried to writhe your hips against his hand “remember pretty girl you answer me when I talk to you.” The hockey player warned “I’m your slut.” The words came from your lips as it made him grow surprised. 

The words made his cock grow hard against his boxers “you happy to see me or what?” You smirked feeling it press into your knee “think I need to fuck this behaviour out of you.” Mark grumbled pulling your panties down your legs as it hooked around your ankles. 

You had finally pushed Mark to a point where he had snapped and he wasn’t ready to come down from it yet “fuck I don’t have a condom.” The boy complained as he hadn’t exactly thought that having sex on this trip was on the cards for him “on the pill.” You shook your head offering a counter point that he gladly took. 

Being a hockey player you weren’t surprised that his cock was on the larger side of big but you had to admit that your mouth did water when he retracted his fingers from your cunt to pull his boxers down letting his boner hit his pelvic bone “you still sure that this is what you want?” Sure Mark thought you were still irritating but the even with that irritation he still believed in consent “please.” You whimpered as you bit down on your lower lip watching in awe as he pumped his cock a few times before he tapped the swollen head on your clit coating it in his precum. 

There was a moment between you both that if you weren’t still so buzzed from the alcohol in your system you would have sworn that there was something that could have mirrored something romantic between you both. His lips were soft on yours as his cock slowly creeped into your cunt letting your walls stretch to accommodate him “fuck you’re perfect.” Mark gasped as he sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he kept himself from coming on the spot. 

He had a few moments of just staying there with his cock frozen before you finally cleared your throat “need you to fuck me Mark.” You coughed out as the boy turned his face to look at you “please.” You didn’t need to ask twice as he nodded letting his hands grip at your hips as your legs locked behind his hips. 

Even as you were outside with the breeze your skin felt like it was on fire when his eyes pierced your gaze “how many guys you let have this tight little cunt of yours?” Mark made little effort to try to avoid the fact that he was jealous of his own question when the idea of some other guy fucking you came into his mind. 

As his cock throbbed in your core you struggled to stay focused “j-just t-tw-two.” You stammered falling over your words as his thrusts became deeper “and did they make you feel this good?” Mark swore that the image of you beneath him struggling to even shake your head as your breasts bounced with each thrust that he made, would he engraved in his brain forever. 

The first time you had sex was in high school when you lost it to your boyfriend of two years and you were both virgins. He came within a couple of pumps of his cock and left you there frustrated and alone as he went to shower only handing you a wet cloth before he shut the door behind himself. The other was a jock that was only sleeping with you to get the attention of an ex so the moment she came knocking on the door he went running back to her. 

So if you truly thought about it Mark was your first time, not the embarrassing your overly awkward one. But your first time where you knew he was confident in what he did “didn’t come.” Even as you barely whispered those words Mark still heard you and he couldn’t help but smirk. 

If anything Mark took that as a reason to quicken his thrusts as he watched your eyes roll back “gonna make you feel so fucking good then.” Your brain fog made you wonder if he was merely thinking aloud or actually talking to you “and to think that you really put up that whole act before?” The hockey players teasing tone had you clenching around him as you propped your hands up behind you to stop you from falling back. 

His hand took the opportunity to slide between your bodies as he found your clit “you’re so fucking pretty when you’re so cock drunk.” The compliment came with a groan as he began toying his thumb over your clit “not gonna last.”

You warned not caring who heard your whimper that echoed from your chest.

Mark felt his thrusts grow irregular with how you cunt squeezed his cock with the new pressure your clit felt that had you wanting to press your thighs together “go make a mess doll.” There came the softest of the pet names from the night as he kissed you lips letting his hunger and pure desire to be the first guy that has you coming on their cock, take over his mind.

All that was left for you to do was listen to him as your lips let out a gaspy moan “holy fuck!” You swore as your eyes screwed shut letting white specks scattered themselves on the backs of your eyelids like stars in the night sky “breathe through it.” Mark cooed helping you on as the movements of his thumb combined with the thrusts of his cock lulled you through the brunt of your orgasm that had your legs shaking against his hips.

Before Mark could let his orgasm take charge he slid his cock out from your cunt making sure that you had come before that and he replaced the walls of your cunt with his hand “wha-” you grew confused at his abrupt movement “oh baby you have to work for me to come in you.” He grunted watching the warm sticky ropes shoot onto your stomach. 

It made you whimper as you watched almost hypnotized by the sight “next time if you aren’t a fucking brat I might let you get it properly.” The hockey player explained tapping the head of his now soothing cock on your clit letting what was left in him ooze onto your slit “that was.” Your chest heaved as you swore that you had just had the hottest experience of your life.

Mark laughed as he nodded “I know.” He pecked your lips as he reached down to where your panties had fallen to and made the effort to slide them back onto you but not before the hockey player kissed your lips “think it’s time for you to go to bed.” A yawn left your lips as you nodded at his words. 

He finished dressing you and even opted on helping you up the stairs before he left you tucked into your sheets where you nuzzled your head into the soft pillow “maybe you aren’t that bad Hughes.” Mark mumbled feeling his heart grow full at the sight of you blissfully drifting off to sleep. 

But as he let your door softly shut after him it would seem that nothing would actually ever truly change between you both. Because at the end he was always going to be your brothers friend who pissed you off, and well you were always meant to be Luke’s hot sister.

Yet the true test that would come after this was when Mark would have to realize that you weren’t his, no he wasn’t good enough to get that right to have you under his arm at every event on campus. Instead he was destined to watch other guys fill that role one you finally grew into a more confident state. 

“Since when has Rutger had a thing for little Hughes?”

[19ryan17]

Zach's Summer

Zach hadn’t imagined spending his summer like this—stuck near campus, no job, no car, and no way back to his parents’ house. Finals week had ended with the usual mix of relief and dread, but while most of his classmates were already packing up or hopping flights home, Zach found himself standing outside his locked dorm, his bags heavy, his phone battery dying, and his options thinner than ever.

His parents were off on a months-long European trip, a getaway they’d been hyping for weeks. The problem was, in classic parental fashion, they forgot one key detail: they took the house keys with them. So Zach’s own home was out of reach until they returned in late August. And with no summer job prospects and the bank account threatening to hit zero, flying home wasn’t an option even if he wanted it.

He had no plan, just an uncomfortable sense of being stranded.

In his circle of friends, Zach was sort of a nobody—more of a background character than a main one. Not jock enough for the popular crowd, not nerdy enough to have any sort of study crew, just kind of… there. So when a random message popped up in the group chat—Tyler, Chase, Ryan, and Blake, four guys who were the campus embodiment of “bro” culture, jock stereotypes in tight tees and gym shorts, who treated their bodies like trophies for Instagram—offering him a spot on their summer house couch, it felt like a hail-mary. Zach half-expected it to be a joke.

Tyler’s reply was simple, almost casual: “For real, man. Come crash here.”

So, with nothing better to do and nowhere else to go, Zach packed the bare essentials and took an Uber to their rental house. It was a two-story place just a few blocks off campus, with peeling white paint and a sagging porch. Inside, the walls were mostly bare, save for a couple of motivational gym posters and a whiteboard covered in macros, workout schedules, and plans that, Zach was about to learn, rarely materialized.

The place smelled sharply of sweat, cheap cologne, and something faintly chemical—Axe or Old Spice, probably mixed with too much body spray. Four bedrooms had been claimed immediately, each with a bed meticulously made and workout gear stashed neatly in corners. Zach was assigned the sunroom out back, a converted porch with dusty windows, a battered futon, and a box fan that rattled like it was held together by hope alone.

The first few days felt like trying to fit into a mold that wasn’t his. The guys followed routines Zach couldn’t quite keep up with—early morning gym sessions, protein shakes loaded with powders Zach didn’t recognize, loud music blasting in the bathroom while they took their showers. The conversations were all about gains, reps, and which one of them looked better on Instagram. They talked about their girlfriends with a kind of pride and ease Zach found foreign.

And of course, they kept themselves meticulously smooth—abs tight, chests and backs clean-shaven, legs trimmed. It was part showmanship, part obsession, and Zach felt like a fish out of water with his lean frame and patchy scruff.

But there was an odd comfort in their casual acceptance. Nobody treated him like a charity case or a guest. Blake tossed him a spare controller one night without asking if he gamed. Tyler handed him leftover wings without a second thought. Chase gave him a half-smile and a nod when he caught Zach tidying up a pile of empty boxes.

“Dude, you live here now,” Tyler said one evening, collapsing on the couch with a beer. “Just chill.”

As June crept on, the summer routine started to wobble. One day Chase didn’t show up for the gym, citing a “dead arm” from leg day—though no one really bought it. Blake left his protein shake bottle half-empty on the kitchen counter, and it stayed there for two days. Ryan started waking up later, sometimes crashing back on the couch in just his boxers, his legs sprawling wide.

Morning shaves became less frequent, turning into an every-other-day thing. Then a week passed without anyone bothering to touch the razors. One afternoon, Zach caught a glimpse of Blake’s chest stubble when he lifted his shirt to scratch his belly, and it looked almost… natural.

“You growing that out?” Zach asked, half-joking but honestly curious.

Blake shrugged, a lazy grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, kinda forgot about it. Might just let it ride for a bit.”

It was a small thing, but it made Zach pause.

The house itself started to feel less like a gym sanctuary and more like a lived-in den. Empty pizza boxes stacked up on the counter. A pile of laundry began to grow in the corner of the living room. Someone—definitely Chase—was leaving his gym socks out, and they gave off a sour, pungent smell that clung to the carpet.

The air thickened with a scent Zach hadn’t expected—less the clean, citrusy cologne and more a primal musk of unwashed bodies, sweat, and fast food grease. Not strong enough to be unbearable, but distinct. He noticed it most when he lay on his futon at night, the window cracked to let in the warm summer air. It was the smell of four guys who’d forgotten the drill, who were letting things slide.

One evening, Tyler cracked open a fresh six-pack and stretched out on the couch, shirtless, one arm behind his head. Zach could see the dark shadow of hair under his pit, the damp sheen of sweat, and the faint fuzz beginning to sprout along his forearms.

Ryan snored on the floor nearby, his loose gym shorts riding up to reveal a thick, slightly curly patch of thigh hair. Blake, lounging on the armchair, scratched absently at a belly that was starting to soften—not much yet, but noticeable if you looked closely.

Zach watched quietly from his corner, nursing a lukewarm beer. He ran a hand across his own chest absentmindedly and stopped.

There was stubble there now too.

It hit him with strange calm—he wasn’t really an outsider anymore.

Not just because they’d welcomed him, but because he was starting to become one of them.

The house felt different now. It wasn’t just the layout or the peeling paint or the furniture arranged in a way that encouraged lounging and laziness—it was something deeper, something that had seeped into the very air and bones of the place. The four guys—Tyler, Chase, Ryan, and Blake—weren’t just skipping their gym sessions anymore. They were skipping everything that reminded them of effort, discipline, or, frankly, hygiene.

Zach knew exactly when the drift had started. It wasn’t a single moment or an event but a gradual loosening of routine, a giving up of the relentless grind that summer was supposed to bring. The kind of grind that had made them lean, taut, and Instagram-ready in May. By the middle of July, those six-pack abs were softening, the clean-shaven skin was becoming a distant memory, and the smell… well, that was becoming its own thing entirely.

It began with the mornings. Where once they’d been up at dawn or just before, now the alarms rarely went off or were silenced without a second thought. The house filled with sounds of stretched-out yawn cascades and the shuffle of bare feet across the floor, but rarely the clatter of weights or the slam of a protein shaker.

One morning, Zach woke to the smell of breakfast, but it wasn’t eggs or oatmeal or any of the lean muscle-building fuel he remembered from the start of summer. No, it was the greasy aroma of fast food breakfast sandwiches and something that smelled suspiciously like leftover pizza crust burning in the toaster oven. When he wandered into the kitchen, he found Ryan slouched on the couch, still in his shorts from the day before, watching videos on his phone with a half-eaten sausage biscuit beside him.

“Morning, man,” Ryan mumbled, barely glancing up.

Zach blinked at the plate stacked with wrappers and greasy paper, the crumbs and smudges that made the whole counter look like a late-night food binge zone. The sink was piled with cups and half-empty bottles of soda, and a familiar musk lingered in the air.

Tyler sauntered in, shirtless, with a five o’clock shadow that had morphed into a thick stubble along his jawline. His pits were dark with hair, and he gave off the unmistakable scent of sweat mixed with a layer of something deeper—something unwashed and earthy. He flopped down beside Ryan with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Gym’s canceled,” Tyler announced like it was a victory. “Dead legs, dead motivation.”

Chase appeared next, his hair tousled and his normally tight T-shirt stretched over a belly that was rounding in a way it hadn’t before. He gave Zach a lazy smile that showed the scruff now darkening his cheeks. “Besides, we got better stuff to do. Like, marathon the new Call of Duty, right?”

Blake rounded out the group, dragging himself up from the floor where he’d been sprawled for hours. His chest hair was thick and curly now, curling over the neckline of his tank top, and a patch of it peeked out from his shorts along the top of his thighs. He scratched absently at his beard—a full goatee now—and sniffed his armpit with a mock grimace that had become less mock and more real over the last week.

The transformation wasn’t just physical—it was mental. The guys joked about their smell, their laziness, and their expanding waistlines like it was a badge of honor. Their usual sharp banter had softened into slow, easy laughter and teasing that circled around burps, farts, and dumb pop culture references. They weren’t dumb exactly—they were just… different. Slower in their responses, less focused, and far more content to laze around with greasy food and sticky controllers than to push themselves at the gym or in class.

For Zach, it was both disorienting and oddly comforting. At first, he had tried to keep up, jogging around the block when the others skipped, shaving every morning even if they didn’t, washing with their fancy scented body wash while they stuck to bar soap. But as the days passed, the urge to maintain his previous routine faded. He found himself staying up late playing video games, waking up late to greasy leftovers, and skipping showers because—honestly—it just felt easier.

The house grew a distinct smell. It wasn’t just the guys. It was the house itself soaking in their laziness. The couch cushions reeked of sweat and fast food grease. The bathroom floor was sticky, and the mirrors were foggy from neglected cleaning. The trash cans overflowed with empty soda cans, chip bags, and pizza boxes. The air hung heavy with a thick musk, a combination of sweat-soaked T-shirts, unwashed bodies, and stale food odors that clung to the walls.

Zach noticed how the smell clung to his own skin, how his T-shirts started to hold that same stale odor even after washing. His body was changing too. The smooth skin he’d taken for granted was slowly getting fuzzier. His chin sprouted a thin mustache that thickened into a patchy goatee over the weeks. His arms had soft hair that brushed against his sleeves when he moved, and he caught himself unconsciously scratching at his armpits more often, finding they were darker and hairier than before. He noticed how his belly was starting to round just a little, how his T-shirts were tighter around the waist than they used to be.

It wasn’t a shock or a crisis. It was more like slipping into a new identity, one that felt… right.

The other guys weren’t immune either. Tyler’s smooth, Instagram-perfect chest was now a thick blanket of hair that spread from his collarbone down to his navel. The muscles beneath still showed, but the lines were softer, the sharp angles rounded. He’d traded his razor for a pair of scissors and just trimmed the thick growth every few days.

Chase had let his beard grow into a scruffy mess that matched the wildness of his hair. He had gained some weight, too, his once-flat stomach now bulging just slightly beneath his stretched-out tees. He laughed more easily now, burping loudly during movie nights and teasing Zach about his “new man smell.”

Ryan was the most muscular of the group, but even his body was starting to show signs of change. The veins that used to pop during workouts were less visible, hidden beneath a thin layer of softness that softened his defined arms and broad chest. His hair was thicker everywhere—arms, legs, chest, even a few stray hairs creeping up his neck and over his jawline.

Blake was the slowest to change physically, but his attitude shifted the most. He moved with a languid ease, took longer naps, and was always first to suggest ordering another pizza or switching to a comedy instead of the usual action flicks. His beard was thick and curly now, and he spent more time scratching at his belly hair than he did at his phone.

Zach found himself laughing with them, not at them. The slow descent into this unmotivated, hairy, and slightly smelly summer tribe was infectious. The feeling of being accepted—really accepted—was a balm for his uncertain soul.

On a night when the heat was pressing against the windows and the hum of the city was distant, the four jocks and Zach sprawled shirtless on the sagging couch. The TV was playing some old comedy rerun, but no one was really watching. The conversation meandered lazily, drifting from sports gossip to who could eat the most wings, to ridiculous hypothetical questions.

Tyler stretched his arm behind his head and the dark hair beneath his pit caught Zach’s eye again. It was thicker than it had been the week before, the scent stronger too—a warm, earthy musk that was no longer a sign of neglect but a new kind of masculinity. Tyler noticed Zach staring and gave him a sly smile.

“Getting used to it, huh?” he said, voice low.

Zach nodded, feeling heat creep into his cheeks. “Yeah, it’s different. But kinda nice.”

“Yeah, man,” Chase added, burping loudly. “Feels real. Feels like summer.”

Ryan laughed, the sound deep and full. “We’re just getting real. No more pretending. No more Instagram bullshit.”

Blake reached over, ruffling Zach’s hair like he was part of the crew now. “You’re one of us, man. You smell like it.”

Zach grinned and rolled his shoulders, feeling the stretch of his shirt over a belly that had softened but wasn’t quite fat yet. The fuzz on his arms and chest caught the dim light, and for the first time in a long time, he felt like he belonged.

The transformation was no longer just physical—it was something deeper. A letting go, a surrender to a new kind of comfort and identity. The four guys he’d once seen as distant, chiseled jocks were now just a crew of lazy, hairy, stinky guys who didn’t care about the world outside their little house.

And neither did he.

The house was thick with that sticky, warm summer air—the kind that made your skin feel slick, and your clothes cling in all the wrong ways. Outside, the city buzzed and hummed, but inside, the world was reduced to the creaking floors, the low murmur of voices, and the sharp, heavy scent of four guys who were no longer trying to keep things neat, clean, or remotely gym-ready.

Zach had officially slipped into the rhythm of the place. The slow drift from lean to soft had continued unabated. His shirtless reflection in the cracked mirror by the bathroom door showed a guy with a soft belly that curved over his shorts, a patchy goatee darkening his chin, and a scruff that thickened into a short beard on his jaw. His arms and chest were flecked with soft, dark hair, and the faint smell of musk clung to his skin, mixed with the faint sourness of sweat that hadn’t been fully washed away.

He loved it. And he hated it. The contradiction made him restless some nights.

But tonight, restlessness was the last thing on his mind.

Tyler was sitting on the edge of the couch, one arm stretched out behind him, his thick, hairy chest rising and falling slowly as he smiled down at Zach like he was the only person in the world. The others were off in the kitchen, grabbing snacks and beer, leaving the two of them alone in the dim light that flickered from the TV screen.

“You good, man?” Tyler’s voice was low, teasing, but with something softer underneath.

Zach swallowed hard, feeling the heat of Tyler’s gaze like a flame licking at his skin. “Yeah. Just… warm in here.”

Tyler chuckled, the sound deep and rough. “That’s the house, or maybe it’s us.”

Zach shifted on the couch, the fabric pulling tight over his belly. The thick hair on Tyler’s forearm brushed against his own bare skin as Tyler leaned closer, his scent strong and heady—the rich musk of sweat, hair, and something uniquely Tyler.

Before Zach could think, Tyler’s hand found his wrist, fingers curling around it gently but with a surprising strength. The warmth spread from that touch, settling into his chest, making his heart beat harder.

“You’ve changed, man. Like, a lot,” Tyler said, voice rough with something like admiration.

Zach laughed nervously, scratching at the hair on his forearm. “Yeah, guess I have.”

“Not just the looks,” Tyler said, his voice dropping lower. “You’re… different. Chill. Real.”

The words hung in the air between them, thick and heavy. Zach felt a flush rise to his cheeks and met Tyler’s gaze—dark eyes, framed by thick lashes and a shadow of stubble on the cheeks that made him look even more rugged.

Suddenly, Tyler leaned in, slow and deliberate, until his lips brushed against Zach’s. The touch was feather-light, teasing, and then it deepened—soft but hungry, warm and sticky with sweat and unshaven stubble.

Zach froze for a second, heart hammering, before he melted into the kiss. His arms wrapped around Tyler’s neck, pulling him closer, fingers tangling in thick hair that felt like velvet against his skin. The room seemed to shrink until the only thing that mattered was the heat between them—the smell, the roughness, the softness all at once.

Tyler’s lips moved over his, mouth opening slightly to let Zach’s tongue slip inside. The kiss was slow, deep, tasting of sweat and something more—something primal and intoxicating. Zach’s hands slid down Tyler’s back, feeling the solid muscles beneath the loose, hairy skin. He could feel the warmth radiating from Tyler’s body, the slight softness that had crept in over the weeks of laziness and junk food binges.

When they finally pulled apart, gasping slightly, Tyler rested his forehead against Zach’s.

“Been wanting to do that for a while,” Tyler admitted, voice low and rough.

Zach smiled, his own breath uneven. “Me too.”

Behind them, the kitchen door creaked open and the others returned, carrying plates piled with greasy wings and cold beers. The easy buzz of their laughter filled the room, but Zach and Tyler didn’t move apart. They stayed close, the heat between them a quiet flame amid the casual chaos.

Over the next few days, the house’s transformation continued to deepen. Zach found himself more and more tangled up in the group’s slow, lazy routines—the endless video game marathons, the greasy takeout dinners, the relaxed, shirtless afternoons sprawled on couches and floors. His own body followed suit, growing softer, hairier, smelling muskier with each passing day.

The hair on his arms thickened and darkened, creeping up past his elbows and blending into the fuzzy warmth on his chest. His beard grew fuller and coarser, a goatee that framed his mouth and chin with a deliberate ruggedness. His belly rounded noticeably, stretching his shirts tight over the new softness, and the scent he gave off was no longer just his own but something shared, a signature of the house and its occupants.

Tyler was the most overtly affectionate, often slipping his hand into Zach’s during the long, lazy evenings or pressing soft kisses to his jawline when the mood struck. Their touches grew bolder, more confident, moving from playful teasing to something tender and intense.

One night, the air thick with the scent of pizza and cheap beer, Tyler pulled Zach onto the couch, sliding an arm around his waist as they settled into the familiar warmth of each other’s bodies.

“You’re really changing,” Tyler murmured, fingers tracing slow circles on Zach’s side, brushing over the soft hair that had grown thick there.

Zach’s breath hitched. “I know. Feels… good. Weird but good.”

Tyler smiled, lips brushing against Zach’s temple. “That’s the point, dude. You’re part of this now.”

They kissed again, slower this time, exploring lips and tongues with a hunger that was both new and deeply familiar. Tyler’s hands roamed over Zach’s soft belly, fingers pressing into the warmth beneath the skin. Zach arched into the touch, the roughness of Tyler’s palms a delicious contrast to the softness of his own body.

The other guys occasionally glanced over, grinning knowingly but leaving the two to their moment. The house was theirs, their world, and everything else could wait.

As the weeks passed, Zach and Tyler’s connection deepened. They shared stolen moments in the kitchen, soft kisses in the hallway, and heated touches late at night when the others were asleep. Their bodies changed side by side—the slow growth of hair on arms, chests, legs, the spreading softness over bellies and thighs, the thickening musk that clung to skin and clothes alike.

One afternoon, after a particularly greasy lunch of wings and fries, Zach found himself in the bathroom, staring at his reflection. The scruffy beard framed a face that was softer and more masculine in a way that made his heart race. His chest was flecked with dark hair that curled slightly at the edges. His belly was round and warm, pressing against the waistband of his shorts.

A slow smile crept over his lips. He was no longer the clean-cut, lean guy who’d moved in just weeks ago. He was something else. Something warmer, thicker, messier—and he liked it.

The door creaked open and Tyler slipped inside, closing it quietly behind him. He came up behind Zach, hands resting lightly on his hips, his chest warm against Zach’s back.

“You okay?” Tyler asked softly.

Zach nodded, leaning back into Tyler’s touch. “Yeah. Better than okay.”

Tyler pressed a kiss to the side of Zach’s neck, fingers tightening just a little. “Good. Because I’ve got plans for you.”

Zach laughed, the sound low and happy. “I’m ready.”

Later that night, the house was quiet except for the soft sounds of music drifting through the rooms and the occasional murmur of voices from the others. Zach and Tyler were alone in the living room, sprawled across the couch with limbs tangled and skin sticky with sweat.

Tyler’s hands moved over Zach’s body with a careful, reverent touch—the rough palms tracing the soft contours of his belly, the thick hair on his arms, the newly broad shoulders that still held hints of muscle beneath the softness.

They kissed again, mouths hot and urgent, hands exploring and pressing. Tyler’s beard scratched lightly against Zach’s jaw as their tongues tangled, and Zach moaned into the kiss, his body arching into the heat of Tyler’s touch.

Clothes were shed slowly, deliberately, until they were bare and warm against each other. Tyler’s fingers traced the thick hair on Zach’s chest, down to the soft curve of his stomach, lingering over the warmth of his thighs.

The scent of sweat and musk surrounded them, thick and intoxicating. Tyler’s breath was hot against Zach’s skin as he whispered, “You’re perfect like this.”

Zach’s heart pounded as Tyler’s hands moved lower, exploring the soft flesh beneath the hair, the warmth and weight that had replaced the lean tightness he’d once known.

Their bodies pressed together, heat and desire mingling in the quiet room. They kissed and touched, whispered and laughed, discovering new ways to be close, to be together, to be exactly who they were becoming.

Time slipped away until the night was deep and still. They lay tangled in each other’s arms, the soft rise and fall of their chests and the steady beat of hearts a quiet reminder of the new lives they were building—messy, hairy, lazy, and full.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 7 "emily" thoughts

(voice cracking) hey guys. how are you doing? because i’m fine. actually super incredibly fine. have never been better, in fact. (heavy on the /s)

this episode feels so final, in a way. there is before this episode and after it, and there is no going back. and we have had plenty of those episodes that involve a shedding of innocence, but we’ll reach a point where you think, surely it cannot get worse than this. and you’ll never guess what happens next: somehow, it does.

sniffs. scully always chooses love, bro. and mulder chooses her and therefore chooses love. and they choose each other. and they deserve to be happy, to be a happy little family.

take me back to around 14 hours ago, when i pressed play on this episode immediately after watching the previous one, not even bothering to make this writeup until now, because i was too invested:

okay. so yes. i broke my rule and i’m watching this episode right away. and yes i feel sick.  (author’s note to past self: girl if you felt sick then imagine how you feel now LMAOOOO)

“it begins where it ends…. in nothingness. a nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to me unguarded” <- girl what are we opening with? she's in these black robes, striding across sand...

is she looking at death itself??? again?? how many times must this happen??? is SHE death itself???

she picks up her necklace… and declares herself alone, as ever. but you're not alone, scully!

bum bum bum bum… intro time… 

mulder, please come and provide emotional support if nothing else. you are desperately needed

YES, HE IS HERE!!!!!! he is watching scully watch emily color. 

OHHHH MY GOD. hold on. she introduces him to emily as her friend, and he immediately is making funny faces to get emily to laugh. stop. i need to be sedated.

he notices her cross necklace on emily. and he doesn't say anything but he doesn't need to, because that says enough. the cross that hung from his neck when she was gone, returned to her as she returned to life, and now placed around the neck of this little girl.

he had frohike hack into the system to find her surrogate mother omg… frohike is an ally… her birth mother is named anna fugazzi…. fugazzi is a slang term for fake??? he thinks they made a whole fake profile to hide her origins??

oh my god….

mulder is telling her that being around emily is incredibly dangerous; whoever it was that killed her adoptive parents would clearly go after her next. “i can protect her, too” “yeah, but who’s gonna protect you?” <- PLEASE KILL ME IT WOULD HURT LESS

“i’ve considered that, but i‘ve also considered that there’s only one right thing to do” <- ohhh, scully and her Need to do the Morally Correct Thing……… it’ll haunt me forever. she's willing to drop everything she has in her life to give this child a better life. and she didn't even knew she existed until a few days ago.

man, i miss s1 sometimes. bitch take me back…

HE CAME TO TESTIFY AT HER HEARING TO ADOPT HER??? and he says he shouldn’t have come because he doesn’t want to see her hurt like emily's adoptive parents were 😭😭😭 but he did. because he supports her through anything. and he knows that this poor little girl was never supposed to happen.

this man is nervously cracking sunflower seeds outside the hearing room. and bill is glaring at mulder like he didn’t just fly down here to save the day. fuck him for real.

oh, this judge guy is immediately tearing into his facts about the abduction. this never stops happening to mulder when he presents his theories. it must be getting old.

she was gone for four weeks when she was abducted. did we ever know the length of time?? huh. not sure if i picked up on that if we did.

he cannot explain to this guy why anyone would do this to scully and put the child up for adoption, but that is her child!!

“not in any legal definition” “well, if you can show me a precedent for this case, i’d like to see it” <- ohhhh tell him!!!

ohhh my god... “dana has known for quite some time that she can’t bear children. she hasn’t known why. now, however that happened, the fact that she can adopt this child- her own flesh and blood- is something i don’t feel i have the right to question, and i don’t believe anybody has the right to stand in the way of” <- that is best friendship. they love each other so terribly. terrible in the sense of a storm, or a natural disaster, in the sense of love being a force

oh my god man hold on. hold on. so had they talked about it before?? how she couldn't have kids?? and did he tell her why?? i don't think he did, because she is looking on at him with such horror as he shares these facts

there is such a terrible feeling of never being able to go back to before associated with all of this…

mulder is at bill’s house now, fidgeting with their nativity, while scully descends from the stairs. she was helping tara get into bed. oh my god. she loves her family so much.

OHHH the big reveal: “why didn’t you tell me? mulder?” “i never expected this. i thought i was protecting you” <- so she never knew that he knew… which is why she looked so horrified when she heard him say that to the judge…

he thought he was keeping her safe??? because he must have known that these people were willing to kill to keep their experiments in order. it reminds me of when he was at the evil honey farm and the alien said the clone children don't need parents....... the utter lack of humanity...

he says he knew children were being created, but not for who or for what purpose. :(

she gets a call, seemingly with no one on the other end, and with one look he has his phone on him, calling to get it traced. their ability to communicate without language is fascinating. within seconds, he has the location

it’s the children’s center where emily’s being held!!!

so is it still the ghost of melissa calling them somehow?? or is there an informer in there???

they’re at the door of the children's center right away!!!! is someone going to hurt emily????? they barge right in despite it being the middle of the night

emily’s in bed, with a horrific fever. mulder picks her up (oh my god, this made me feel terriblly emotional things) and he notices there is something on her neck.

IT IS A TERRIBLE GREEN POISON LUMPY THING?????

the doctor says there is some kind of infection, and they’re having the thing on her neck biopsied.

there’s an awful pause as they're standing outside the hospital room, and he asks if they are the parents…. mulder steps to the side and lets her say that she is the mother, which is so insane to hear, while mulder watches, terribly worried. 

he watches as they’re about to cut the thing on her neck…. but he realizes it is the green alien blood (which he can see, so NOT red/green colorblind) and starts banging on the door, telling the doctor to get away!!! but she doesn’t listen!!! the doctor collapses right then and there from the exposure to the alien blood gas, while they look on in horror. 

so emily is one of the alien hybrid children... i had thought that those were all clones, but i guess there are some unique ones as well. or maybe the ones we have seen in the past all shape-shift to look the same? CSM, this is your fault. evil has a face and a name and he writes bad fiction.

emily is on a mild sedative, and the ER doctor somehow made it. scully asks mulder how he knew what was going on, and he says he had the doctor put in an ice bath like she did when he was exposed :( he remembered.... :(

the dr. calderon that emily was seeing before refuses to transfer her information over!!! and says that scully has no authority over this child!!!! he is straight up willing to let her die.

she refuses to leave her. 

mulder is sent instead to interrogate him; he asks what he can say to convince dr. calderon to convince him to transfer the files over. but dr. calderon says it’s about business reasons. mulder asks how much money is worth letting this child die.

OHHHHHH HE IS THROWING HANDS….. 

holy fuck, i need a moment. he calls calderon and his team "medical rapists", a term i was previously unfamiliar with, and says now they’re just going to let her DIE??? AND HE PULLS OUT A GUN???

“why don’t you tell me whose life is worth saving, yours or hers!!” <- DAMN!!!

mulder is willing to kill for scully and that baby she just learned existed... i need a moment

he only puts his gun away because the police are at the door… but he’s gonna follow him. 

meanwhile, emily is watching cartoons while scully is in scrubs. she wants to talk to emily… she’s explaining that she has to do some tests. "mommy said no more tests" <- now what does that mean?

they insert the child into the machine. poor scully watches.

god, scully must feel so strange at the moment. and she gets flashbacks to her abduction from hearing the MRI machine beeping….

dr. calderon is running into a fancy gated home. and the other men who were watching scully before are here!!!!! 

OH MY GOD???? THEY STABBED THE DOCTOR'S NECK WITH THE NEEDLE, AND THE GREEN GAS CAME OUT???

and the other one morphed into calderon??? SO THEY’RE THE ALIENS????

but mulder is here……..

(i’m torn between genuine devastation and the sheer absurdity of this plot)

back at the hospital, we learn emily has some sort of infection into her brain that is expanding along her nervous system

and the guy who is pretending to be calderon is here!!!

scully and the real doctor are talking medicine, what can and cannot be done for her.

NO WHAT? THE ALIEN THAT TOOK CALDERON'S FACE IS HERE WITH THE NEEDLE GAS STUFF??? he just left emily's room……

scully's going after this guy, but he switches faces the minute they catch him!!!!!

mulder is still tailing the people from the pharmaceutical company. he tells scully he doesn’t think they want emily dead either, but for different reasons… they want their experiment to work, i assume is what he implies, but he hangs up then to go do some more tailing.

detective kresge is here!!!! scully tells him she thinks these men killed emily's adoptive parents because they stopped doing the tests!!! and that must be why that mysterious man came in to see her!!!!

i’m ready to see some heads roll over this whole matter. 

mulder lets himself into the weird huge gated house he saw dr. calderon go into, which seems to be an nursing home, with a label on a shelf for a. fuggazi. she’s a real person???? and she’s 71 years old???

but now emily is getting worse, with the growth spreading; it is killing her. the doctor says they should be grateful she isn’t in pain. 

chambliss shows up to tell scully that the court is freaked out that she’s making choices for emily, but she points out that she is “a medical doctor, and the decisions that i make are reasonable and right” and we know this to be true!!!

OHHHH MY GOD chambliss says that she has no authority, and scully says that if they take her out of the hospital, she will have it known that all of them are responsible for emily's worsening health…… holy fuck

“what do you want me to tell them you’re doing for her?” “i don’t know yet. but i will” <- she thinks there has to be hope…. :(

frohike is on the phone!!!! mulder is reading the names of the women in the nursing home, while frohike looks them up. and somehow they all gave birth to children in the last few years??? despite being 70+ years old????

and frohike wants to know if they are attractive. mulder says he might have a shot with these ones LMAO <- rare moment of levity in what may be the darkest fucking episode of all time

these elderly women are being prescribed estrogen and progesterone, which are in abundance in pregnant women……….

anna comes to mulder and says she wants to start her beauty sleep??? and it’s taken years off of her appearance??? do the aliens turn them young somehow??? and then use them to have children???

holy fuck. horrific commentary on the intersections of reproductive rights and elder abuse....

emily is now being inserted into a new tube for testing, with scully saying she will be right there the whole time. the air in the tube hurts emily's ears??? and makes her veins pop out??????? she is yelling at the doctor to stop running the test, but i don't even really understand what is going on, beyond that emily cannot handle it

mulder is still at the nursing home, where he finds a bunch of the old women in bed, attached to IVs with the hormones he mentioned earlier!!! so they get the IVs in their sleep and then they... no, it's too disturbing to even say

so he looks in the fridge and inside he finds some papers…. HUH???? it has scully’s name on them???? and inside is ANOTHER BABY IN A TUBE????

what the fuck??? this is messed up!!!!

he also finds vials of the green stuff that you use to kill the aliens!!!! but now the shapeshifting alien guy from before is here!!!! so he's running out with the vials!!! 

but detective kresge is here and stops mulder!!!!! IS THE DETECTIVE WORKING FOR THE ALIENS???

NO!! kresge is trying to keep him safe!!! the alien picks him up and tosses him like a rag doll!!!

but kresge gets up and shoots him despite mulder’s many warnings, so he hisses as his alien body releases that toxic green gas!! NO, KRESGE!! you were mean at first, but i grew to like you!!!

the alien takes kresge’s face and dips while mulder is trying to get backup!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor scully is watching emily through the window; she has gone into a coma. mulder suddenly arrives. but before mulder can say anything, she claims she’s okay. 

“but if you could treat her?” “i wouldn’t. i wouldn’t do it to her” “are you sure?” <- oh my god? is she going to take her off of life support? does she think it is wrong to keep her alive with no quality of life? we know she believes that in her own will... is she realizing there is nothing she can do? and why does she always lead with "i'm okay" when she isn't?

“mulder, whoever brought this child into this world didn’t intend to love her”

“i think she was born to serve an agenda” (a horrific thing for a human to be)

“i have a chance to stop that. you were right. this child was not meant to be”

but she is. she is here. and she doesn't have much longer.

he rubs her back and says he’ll stay with her. STOOOOOP

but she says she’d like to be alone. so he quietly walks away.

oh my god. he was going to stay with her while she watched her baby die... but she said she wanted to do it alone....... 

he still has that one vial of green stuff in his pocket, and pulls it out in the hallway. while she’s going in to presumable say goodbye. she lays her head next to emily, crawling into her bed. oh my god.

then we see a stained glass window of mary holding baby jesus while scully sits in a pew. maggie is here, asking if she’s ready. she tells her she’ll get a ride back with mulder. and she hugs her family, smiling at tara’s new baby, kissing him on the head.

there is a little casket, and scully stares at it as mulder comes in, laying flowers upon it. 

“who are the men who would create a life whose only hope is to die?” “i don’t know. but that you found her… and you had a chance to love her… maybe she was meant for that, too” <- oh my god??? oh my god.

“she found me” “so you could save her” <- and she did save her... she saved her from an unhappy home and unethical experiments and loved her in the week that she knew her, and let her go peacefully instead of suffering....

then she asks about kresge, who somehow made it, but the nursing home has been cleaned out, and no one else knew of calderon’s work. but there is evidence of what they did, she says, staring at the casket. 

she takes the flowers, lifts up the lid, and mulder turns around to give her space. but the casket is empty, except for the cross necklace. which she holds, closing her eyes. so they took her body, too???

the sand… the necklace… the opening scene… the parallels… i’m, like, blubbering as i type this

what the fuck!! who came up with this?? it is so fucked up and horrific and why. why. why. why did they make her undergo that and where do we go from here? no seriously, how is she going to just. clock into work the next day. not knowing she had a daughter except for a single week they had together and then she watched her die.

i honestly think scully is a saint because. if someone told me my autonomy had been taken and they made a baby out of me without my consent, i think i would be horrified and want nothing to do with the poor child. i would think, i have no relation to that little person. it was done without my knowledge, and how can i claim any connection to something i never knew?

(i mean, that is all i can imagine i would do; i know nothing of what it feels like to want or have or learn you have a baby. so keep that fact in mind if i don't fully grasp the weight of everything here. but believe me, what i am grasping is weighty enough)

but she said, i have a baby and i need to love her, because the option to make my own decision was denied, but i need to do the right thing. she just barrels in and loves her. no hesitation. and then she watches her die. 

and what the fuck?? from a writer’s perspective are they just trying to overtly comment on the lack of women’s healthcare?? because this hits different in the current political climate in a way they couldn’t have seen at the time. and i do feel somewhat inspired to write an essay on the subject. and using the elderly women as incubators... holy hell. it really speaks to the lack of agency women have over their own bodies and the terrifying nature of government intervention into women's healthcare...

mulder showing up right away to testify for her… scully being willing to throw her whole career away for a child she never knew she had… i need a few days and maybe a drink.

where do they go from this? how do you move on from learning you have a child, choosing to love it for the week you knew her, and then watching her die? how do you just go hunt bigfoot after that?

i feel like this show throws too many emotional punches and doesn't give us time to let the aftershocks sink in and the grief be processed. i hope that this time we get that chance.

and oh, how tender both of them were with emily... i just know that if they have kids, that child is going to be so loved... i am gonna cry at the thought. because we have always been able to see that mulder wants a family so desperately, but with scully it was more simmering under the surface until it boiled over, and now she knows what that feeling is like, but it was taken away from her and it can never come back, but maybe someday she can find happiness, and they can find happiness together, and raise a little kid who they can hold and carry and read books to and fuck i'm emotional!!!

i'm thinking about how even way back in season 1 we see them dealing with kids and the foreshadowing to this, this glimpse of what could have been in another life, but what isn't in this timeline. and how he was there for her while she waded through entirely incomprehensible emotions. and again i come back to the fact she chose to love this little girl despite having no knowledge of her.

and how they choose to find meaning in that week they knew her, with mulder telling her that she saved emily, that she let her experience love and happiness. to try and find any purpose to their inexplicably cosmic suffering.

fuck!!!

as always, please tell me what you think!!! what was your reaction when you saw this for the first time?? what was the reaction of the wider public? did you also cry a million tears? did you also cry at the mental image of them having a little baby? has your perception of the episode changed over time? if you have kids now do you cry even more? will chris carter ever work on whatever it is he has going on with making women suffer? i need to know every last detail.

[im14andivebeen14foramonth]

How do you feel about Drag queen Darry? It’s a hc us and our friend have had for a while.

DRAG QUEEN DARRY!!!

i honestly think it's such an interesting idea! bro needs SOME way to destress and i think that after being put through a very hyper-masculine childhood (big strong older brother, football player, boy of the year, etc) drag would be sooo freeing for him

some hcs:

darry found out about drag his senior year when he was hanging out with some other guys on the football team. they were in a restaurant and paul pointed out a couple of drag queens sitting at a table nearby. everyone else on the team laughed and quietly made of them, and although darry went along (bro just wanted to look tuff and cool for his soc friends :( he'd do anything to fit in) he actually thought it looked like fun

one day when while his mom and dad were at work, soda was out with steve, and pony was with johnny, darry went into his parent's bedroom and tried on one of his mom's lipsticks. he immediately fell in love with the idea

this kept going, with darry taking every opportunity to be home alone and put on more and more makeup on each time, even imagining himself in the dresses in his mother's closet

one day tho while darry was doing this, soda came home earlier than darry thought he would, and darry was caught red-handed

of course soda didn't judge him at all, but darry still felt terrible about himself bc he felt like his little brother seeing him like that made him less of a man and a good brother

after a couple of weeks feeling miserable about himself, darry finds a slip of paper on his bed. it's a flyer for a drag show

although neither of them mentions it, when darry leaves his room, soda gives him a little grin and he knows where the flyer came from

now, every so often when he has off work, he'll tell soda and pony that he has to work late. soda doesn't know for sure, but he sees a little glint in darry's eyes before he leaves and has a feeling that he knows exactly where his older brother is really going. his suspicions are only confirmed when darry comes back looking calmer than he has in weeks, and soda's just happy that darry's found something that makes him real happy

[junior-high-rui-official]

// long post ahead. less explicit angst than usual but there is cyberbullying + workaholism involved. also Rui being on his gifted kid bs.

Rui lets out an exhausted sigh. After a certain point, everything became a blur. He remembers crying to his brother, remembers breaking down in front of Nene, and beyond that, everything's a blur... entering the hospital, vitals checked, some patronizing remarks, a nurse up his ass for a while...and finally, it was dark outside, and he could be left alone.

His head hurt. His feet hurt. His legs hurt. His stomach hurt. His chest- god, his fucking chest hurt.

He was relatively sure he was administered pain meds that were supposed to kick in soon, but evidently they hadn't yet. So...

He reaches for his phone to pass the time. He toggles on just about every screen filter - this wasn't good for his eyes, he knew, but he was in the hospital with a broken rib, he had worse things to worry about than some blue light.

He opens a social media app he forgot he had, he'd downloaded it only to follow a certain account that posted robotics materials, and never deleted it.

He scrolls.

And scrolls.

And scrolls.

Mind drifting, eyes blurring out, this is just something he's doing with his hands at this point, he's not even retaining let alone looking at anything he sees-

until he happens upon a picture with a familiar face.

[Ah...that girl...]

[...yes, she's one of many that bothers me at school...]

He scrolls past the photo, but he stops.

[... I'm going to be stuck here for at least a week. In that time, my grades... Oh, and we had that big history project coming up...]

He scrolls back up, then clicks on the account. Scrolling through it, various selfies confirm this is in fact the person he thinks it is.

Several moments of hesitation, and he clicks the "message" button.

類: < hello >

[xxx]: < ??? >

[xxx]: < who tf lmao >

類: < it's kamishiro >

類: < we don't talk but you do know me >

[xxx]: < how tf did you find me on here >

[xxx]: < stalker shit tbh >

類: < i came across a selfie of yours >

類: < i have a question >

類: < more like a favor to ask? >

[xxx]: < bro what >

[xxx]: < we aren't friends im not doing shit for you >

[xxx]: < fucking weirdo >

類: < i know >

類: < you're the first person going to [school] I have contact with though >

類: < whether you know this or not i'm unsure but I've been hospitalized >

[xxx]: < LMAOAOAOAUDHDHSGXBJCHX >

[xxx]: < FOR REAL??? >

[xxx]: < why do you talk like a victorian orphan boy >

類: < i need my paper assignments for the next week or so >

[xxx]: < what the hell?? >

[xxx]: < fucking nerd >

[xxx]: < no lmao >

[xxx]: < go talk to your other fucking >

[xxx]: < weirdo friend or smth >

[xxx]: < why would you even think to message me. you're so fucking weird?? >

類: < mizuki's suspended >

類: < they wouldn't do it either way though >

類: < I know it's an unusual request to say the least >

類: < blame the impulse on the pain meds >

[xxx]: < i hope you fucking stay there fr >

[xxx]: < we definitely don't want your wackass back here >

類: < if you bring me the assignments I'll do your homework for you this week as well ? >

類: < or your friends' >

類: < the hospital isn't far from school. it's not like they're going to fact check whether we're friends or not. you'll just have to say you're delivering me something >

[xxx]: < omfg >

[xxx]: < ok fine if it gets you to quit yapping >

[xxx]: < if you fuck up that homework though I'm not gonna be pleased >

類: < i anticipate this >

類: < thank you >

[xxx]: < yw i guess >

[xxx]: < now leave me alone >

Rui does exactly that, closing the app and shutting off his phone...as he tries and fails not to internalize his classmate's unsavory remarks, he lies his head down and lets tears fall once more.

[wisedawn13]

A Battle of Jins

CW // homophobia, Jin Zixun (He really deserves his own warning) 

Jin Zixun should come with a warning in neon lights above his head. Lan Zhan had heard the occasional complaint from Wei Ying about the man, but always took it with a grain of salt. Here, now, Lan Zhan realizes he should have taken it with the whole shaker. 

Never has a man tested him so. Lan Zhan is calm. Lan Zhan is proper. Lan Zhan doesn't punch people in the face or insult them.

He wants to.

Lan Zhan feels so incredibly out of place; more anger surging through him than he ever thought possible. He can't act on it. He can't. 

Less than 2 weeks. Lan Zhan has been officially dating Wei Ying for less than 2 weeks now and this is the first extended family gathering Lan Zhan was invited to. His date. For all to see.

And some—Jin Zixun—see a little too much. 

Lan Zhan met Wei Ying in their first week of college. He thought he hated him but it was actually just an infuriating attraction that grew to full-blown love at an alarming rate.

So they were friends.

Best friends.

For 3 agonizing years, Wei Ying was just out of reach. 

To know, now, that Wei Ying feels the same is something of a wonder to him. He wouldn't change it for the world. But they're official now, and that means going out as a couple and ultimately dealing with homophobic assholes.

He just... Didn't expect that here. 

Lan Zhan has met Jiang Yanli a number of times now, as well as her husband Jin Zixuan. He finds them both to be lovely and agreeable people, though Wei Ying has some choice words about Jin Zixuan—which led to his reluctance to view Jin Zixun in a bad light—they are both kind. 

Jin Zixuan is hosting a celebration for his and Jiang Yanli's families in their yard. They are expecting a child.

Wei Ying was practically vibrating out of his skin when he found out and kissed him. That led to their confession and subsequent romantic relationship. Naturally. 

So, Lan Zhan was invited as Wei Ying's plus one to a Jin-Jiang family gathering.

He rarely finds himself in situations like this where he's left feeling unmoored and out of place, but he agreed to come. Thankfully, Wei Ying has stayed near him for most of the party. 

It's when Wei Ying wanders off, leaving Lan Zhan alone, that the feeling creeps back in to the forefront of his mind. And it's one such moment when Jin Zixun comes up to him.

"Isn't it gross?"

Lan Zhan turns a confused look to the man who'd spoken. "Pardon?" 

Jin Zixun's face does a strange, unseemly thing. "You know, you and him." Lan Zhan feels his hackles rising. "Isn't it gross, being with a man?"

Lan Zhan was never one to be good with words. Unfortunately, he's even worse now. He's floundering in his mind, reaching for anything. 

"I just think it'd be disgusting, you know? Having to fuck a guy," Jin Zixun continues as if he's having a 'pleasant' chat with one of his 'bros'. "Or are you the one who gets fucked? How does that even work? How do you decide who does what?"

Lan Zhan feels sick. 

He wants to respond, to say something, but his words have failed completely, locking themselves deep within his body. He wants to scream and fight, he can't. He's distantly aware of the fact that he is shaking, frozen to this spot. Where is Wei Ying? He needs Wei Ying. 

"C'mon man! Answer the fucking question!" Jin Zixun's voice is getting louder, the clear sound of inebriation in his words. "The least a disgusting gay like you could do is give me a fucking answer, especially if you're going to flaunt your gayness in front of me!" 

Lan Zhan's fists clench tight, his muscles tensing throughout his body. His eyes snap over to meet Wei Ying's stunned gaze—a gaze that quickly turns sharp as he begins to make his way across the yard with dark intent.

"ZIXUN!" a loud voice rings out, causing Wei Ying to pause. 

Lan Zhan turns to where the voice came from to find Jin Zixuan, clearing fuming and leaving an equally, if more subdued, Jiang Yanli to stalk over toward them.

"How dare you!" Jin Zixuan exclaims, slipping swiftly in front of Lan Zhan to face Jin Zixun. "Get out." 

Jin Zixun's expression shifts through confusion and shock to anger. "What? Why?"

"You do not speak to my guests that way," Jin Zixuan states in an eerily calm voice.

Jin Zixun baulks. "I was just asking his some questions, he was the one being rude!"

"Get out." 

"No! Fuck that! If he's gonna be gay in front of me, he should at least have the courtesy to answer my fucking questions! I just wanted to know how they know who goes where!" Jin Zixun is all but yelling this and Lan Zhan feels far too many stares. 

Wei Ying makes it over, gently grabbing Lan Zhan's clenches fist and dragging his away from the altercation.

"That is a rude and unwarranted question, Zixun. You would never ask that of me or Yanli, so why would you ask it of them?"

"Obviously I know who goes where with you!" 

They are nearly at the entrance to the house when Jin Zixuan's voice makes them freeze.

"If you think that my wife doesn't peg me, Zixun, you are sorely mistaken." He speaks calmly and surely, voice level and loud.

Wei Ying whips his head around to stare in shock at him. 

Lan Zhan doesn't know how to process the words he's just heard, not sure if he even wants to. He gently nudges Wei Ying, gaining his attention once more, and they slip into the quiet of the house.

Wei Ying pulls him to the sitting room and collapses on the couch. 

Lan Zhan drops on the couch beside him, squeezing his hand. Wei Ying shuffles around, crawling into Lan Zhan's lap to hug him tight.

"I'm sorry," Wei Ying mumbles into his neck. "He's such a fucking asshole but I never thought he'd do something like that to you. I'm so sorry." 

Still without words, Lan Zhan shakes his head, hoping to convey that it is not Wei Ying's fault and he need not apologize. He thinks Wei Ying understands when he settles a little further, a bit of tension leaving his body.

The sit like that in silence for a while. 

Lan Zhan turns his gaze to the door when he hears someone come in, tensing subconsciously, but he relaxes when he sees who it is.

"A-Zhan," Jiang Yanli breathes. "How are you holding up?"

Her voice is kind and soothing as she comes to settle on a chair near them. 

He opens his mouth to respond, but finds he still can't, so he gently nudges Wei Ying.

"He'll be alright jiejie," Wei Ying mumbles, still against Lan Zhan's neck.

Jiang Yanli smiles softly and nods. "Good. I'm terribly sorry for how he acted. Zixuan has kicked him out." 

"Don't apologize for that asshole, jiejie. Not your fault he is a homophobic jerkface who decided to be a homophobic jerkface to my Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says, arms squeezing Lan Zhan tighter. He squeezes in return.

"Fair," she relents. "Still, I wish it had not happened." 

Lan Zhan nods and Wei Ying hums in ascent.

"Did you two want to stay here a while longer?"

Lan Zhan feels Wei Ying tense before shifting back to look at his sister. "Nah, we'll head out. Thanks though, and congrats again. You're gonna be the best mom."

Jiang Yanli smiles. 

Wei Ying pushes off Lan Zhan, standing and reaches down to pull him up, then pauses. "Jiejie," he says tentatively.

"Yes, A-Ying?"

"Um... What your husband did. That was... Pretty cool, I guess."

Jiang Yanli gigglss softly. "That's high praise, coming from you." 

Wei Ying shifts awkardly. "It's not like I like him or anything, but he's... He's alright."

Jiang Yanli nods. "Thank you, A-Ying."

"So... About what he said..."

"Hm?"

"Nevermind, I really don't need to know," Wei Ying says with a shake of his head. 

Jiang Yanli laughs once more, brighter and fuller. It calms something deep inside Lan Zhan. "Well, I'll be sure to tell him of your high praise and I hope to see you both again soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, definitely soon," Wei Ying agrees readily. "Let's go home, Lan Zhan." 

They walk out the front door, hand in hand, and make their way back to their shared apartment.

Lan Zhan is surrounded by the warmth and love of his boyfriend as they make dinner together and return to their usual routine. It's safe, familiar, and comforting.

It's perfect. 

----------

end! I wanted to write a little something to post when I came back from my little break, but I hadn't been able to write for the past 2 weeks so this was all I managed to get out. Hope it's enjoyable haha

Link to thread

[embeddedsystems-shius]

Upon calculating the actual amount of pay I'm getting, I found out that I'm receiving less than minimum wage every month pretty much - likely because of my illness and lack of attendance. At the same time, if even having 2 sick days off every month already drives my pay way below the average person's monthly salary, then there's no way that this job is actually sustainable, for me.

Freelance earns me at least 3 times more without me having to be at attendance for over 40 hours a week. I didn't continue down that path because I had to earn for 2 people, and stability was more important than the quality of the paycheck itself, if I was covering for money, bills, and rent.

It left me with basically nothing, which I was used to at that point - but now I really gotta look back on myself and wonder what the hell I was trying to do. That isn't a quality of life I should just be "used to by now". Regardless of how I felt about the sentiment at the time, my family was right, in this case - I was living with a leech.

He finally got a job in the last year of our relationship (aka. last year, when I was physically dying), but it was. Too little, and way too late. It was 3 days a week, and he still complained about doing all the work (again, I was suffering and bed-ridden via liver failure at the time), in the house, and in his job (while I was still the main breadwinner, even as I was actively bedridden) and nothing in the house would get done unless I was well enough to push him to do shit. The house was never clean, and we even suffered a bug infestation while he was here. It took me months after he left for me to get this house anywhere near liveable, again.

He barely talked to me while I suffered from being bed-ridden, and most of the time last year, I just spent suffering in a dark room, alone. Emotional comfort wasn't an option, cause it "hurts to see you like this", or "I'm tired from doing everything and I need a break".

Like bro... I've been in your seat for the last 3 years of our relationship... And you can't handle (even barely) a trade of roles for one. That's great, dude. Don't complain when I say that this relationship isn't mutual, then. Cause it isn't.

There's a large part of me that felt pressured to perform at my job, pressured to propose to him (especially after I started delving back into my past, and remembering one specific person existed), and pressured to walk on eggshells around my ex. But I can't live like that. And I can't be his "emotional regulator" while doing all this at the same time. My friends comments on housing him is really opening my eyes up on what the fuck I was actually dealing with.

So much of my life was centered around being a provider and a protector - to somebody who was saying that they wanted to play the provider and protector role (without actually doing anything), and then complaining when I didn't have the energy to pay attention to their every fucking breakdown.

I... Refuse, to live like that, again. If I ever get into any other romantic relationship in my life (btw I am not counting on this, regardless on if I have a crush on somebody), it needs to be mutual. There needs to be an understanding there that I can't be my partner's hero, and that I also need help sometimes, mostly some emotional support, and that I don't want to be neglected, like I've always been.

I don't want to be together, but still alone, with somebody. Not again. I don't want to walk on eggshells around the person I love, because I'm scared of every little thing that might make them deem me worthless.

I can't... I can't hamdle that. Not another time. Not again. I can't keep allowing that shit to just happen to myself.

I just want somebody to care about me, the same way i care about them. I dunno. I'm not having a good time rn

[namuneulbo]

week one hundred and eighty nine

this week was BUSYYY and next week's gonna be just as busy. maybe it's nice to get a busy kick out of these last few days. it's so weird to think i'll be back in stockholm in less than two weeks. i'm so excited but i'm so sad about leaving behind all the friends i've made here and the places i grew to love.

i went to the amusement part on monday with a, a, s and s. it was fun but GOD we were there for way too long. we got there right as it opened and we were done with pretty much everything by 5 pm which was the time we originally planned to leave but s really wanted to see the parade that started a little past 8. i was exhausted by the time the parade began and it was so extremely underwhelming too. the rides there were fun though and i copped a sloth keychain and mofusand keychain from a gacha machine.

i still think about the chocolate filled churro i had there. so good. i love churros.

tuesday i went thrifting with h. she ended up being quite late because of trains so i went for lunch by myself and had a fire poke bowl. the vintage store was so far away from my station. it took over an hour to get there. it was a giant success though. i got the coolest baggy jeans EVER! i've been looking for a nice pair of reallt baggy skater jeans and these were perfect AND i tried them on and they almost fit my waist without a belt so i don't even need to sew them or anything. i also got a long yellow acid wash denim skirt. i'm so happy with both of them and i've been wearing both a lot for the past week.

after thrifting we went to this café near hongdae that had swedish style cardamom buns. technically danish but they taste the same anyways so it tasted like home to me. first time eating one with a knife and fork though. it was so fucking good regardless though.

we ended the evening with drinks in hongdae. i don't fuck with hongdae. itaewon for the win.

oh my god, i'm craving a sweet treat so bad right now.

wednesday was a flop day.

thursday! i went on a hunt for glasses. couldn't find any frames i liked though. need to try again sometime this incoming week so i can get new glasses here because it's so much cheaper than in sweden.

met h again for drinks in the evening and BRO i had a subway sandwich before i met up with her and it was probably the most perfect one. like... it's the same i always get but they COOKED with it. could've cried it was so perfect.

we went to one of our fav places and then to some rooftop bar. at the bus stop later when i was waiting for my bus some guy came up and tried talking to me. or i mean, we did end up having a conversation. took him a while to leave me the fuck alone though. he tried once and i pretended to not hear him trying to initiate conversation but then he tried a while after and i gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he just wants to ask about the bus or something because it was quite behind schedule but no, of course he just wanted to be weird. he asked all the usual shit, where i'm from, what brings me here, where i'm going, what i do... when i replied he was like "wooow, finland? a country of beauty!" and then when he asked me where i was going i just lied saying i was going to a friend's place and that i don't really know what the place is called, i'm just following the maps to not have to reveal where i'm headed. he even tried to look over my phone to see my phone to see the map route. literally STOP!!! men are so weird. he continued and asked if i had ever dated a korean guy and i told him no and he asked why and i said i had a boyfriend back home. that finally made him leave.

ALSO!!!

i got into the music school i applied to :') even after having all the odds against me. I'M SO EXCITED! this year is so crazy for me.

friday! my fav pub were playing fall out boy and panic! at the disco for the first half of the evening so i went there right when it started at 6 pm. sat by myself and had a beer, a baileys and a pina colada (i don't know how to make the squiggly n on my laptop SORRY!) and watched the music videos as they were projected. they played mostly new stuff which was a bit disappointing but you know... i still mess with some of it. also, totally forgot how good pina coladas are. a, l and l joined around 8 pm though and we stayed there until the theme ended and then we went to another bar and had fries and non-alcoholic drinks hahaha.

saturday! i had been making flashcards of hanja all night. still had some left to do in the morning. i slept for nine hours. i was still so tired. i thought i'd be stuck doing flashcards all day but i finished them up quicker than expected so i got ready and went out for a bit. i went to the nintendo store. i had been wanting to go for a while and thought i'd check it out now. came home with a tom nook and blathers hihi. it was located in a mall so on the way back i stopped by lush to get a body lotion. of course, going into a lush requires time because even though i knew what i was getting they obviously wanted me to try a whole routine. the guy helping me out was the sweetest though and i appreciated that he spoke korean to me even though i spoke back in such bad korean. i have no idea why i was so bad lmao. i just ended up getting the same lotion he used when instructing me through the entire hand wash routine. it was called keep it fluffy. smells like roses. he said it'll pair well with my sakura body mist so i'm sold. i have no idea how to pair smells. i just wear whatever smells good.

had a crazy night out sunday to monday. there was an emo night so i met with my friends there and their other friend joined after a bit and then i was left alone with her. she was fun though and she was also finnish! a guy came up to her asking if she prefers rum or gin. she answered gin and after a while he came back with a giant gin and tonic for us all to share. like literally with three straws. after a while the music got so loud we had to walk out for a bit and then we went to get ear plugs and then on the way back we got offered a whole bottle of vodka for free at one club and like... can't say no to that. i got absolutely shitfaced. like i had one single thought in my head and that was that i was feeling great. my new friend's twin brother joined us too after a bit. he's studying here as well which is why his twin was here in the first place.

the bartender recognized my knocked loose shirt which was fun. it was quite funny though because she asked it like "do you know what you're wearing?" and at first i got scared she was offended by the fact that my tee had a bunch of crosses on it but then she showed the band profile and i was like YES!!!!!! sweet interaction!!

we went back to the emo club for a bit before we all were feeling too sick and then went for pizza. e seemed super out of it and her brother had lost his phone. it was a mess. i was feeling great however, her brother eventually found his phone and when i texted e this morning she said she was feeling better <3

i got home at 6 am. after a busride filled with hiccups.

sotw: my chemical romance - dead!

[casspurrjoybell-20]

FOOLS - Chapter 53 - Part 1

BOOK ONE: The 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy

*Warning Adult Content*

Noah Wright

I stood outside the cafeteria and lingered there a bit as I waited for my old table to fill up.

I agreed to sitting at lunch with Sam cause how the fuck could I say no to him?

But, I sure as hell wasn't going to sit there alone with my ex-boyfriend.

So, knowing Sam always got to the table first, I waited five minutes after fifth period began, before I walked up to the table with all my friends... plus Sam.

'I could never categorize him as a friend'.

"Aye. That's what's up," Jason grinned as he stood up and we shared a 'bro hug'.

I chuckled then sat down in my original spot, next to Sam.

Carter aggressively shook my shoulder.

"You stayin' or what?" he questioned with a goofy ass smile.

"Yes," I shrugged him off me but was smiling.

I guessed I missed sitting with them as well and I didn't miss the way Sam shoved food in his mouth to keep himself from smiling.

"Welcome back," Emily said, with a friendly face.

"Hey," Sam gave me a small smile when everyone moved on from me being there.

Emily had started talking about something I didn't fucking care about because I was sitting too fucking close to Sam.

Ugh, I thought I could take it but I just wanted to leave.

It was brutal having to be near someone you're in love with and couldn't do shit about it.

"Hey," I greeted, my leg bouncing up and down and we didn't speak the rest of the lunch period but the glances we stole spoke way louder than words.

********

The month of March is almost over with spring break less than a week from today.

Which is all my friends can talk about.

We're planning on going up to Jason's vacation house again.

Though it had been a little awkward, Sam and I have actually been trying to be friends.

Like that one night, Sam and I were in Sam's basement playing video games like we used to.

Jason and Carter were supposed to come over but Jason had to stay home to watch over his epileptic sister.

Carter conveniently had to go to work.

Based on his text he sent me.

To: Noah Wright

[I thought you guys could do with some alone time ;)]

From: Carter [Today 7:37 PM]

Carter was lying.

Trust me, I would not have shown up had I known they were gonna bail on our plans.

Luckily though, it hadn't been horribly awkward like it sometimes got during lunch when it was just Sam and I while the others were off to buy lunch.

In fact, we had been joking around and having a good time together.

Until we weren't having a good time.

"Can I, um, tell you something?" Sam asked while I was still trying to figure out which character I wanted to be.

'Maybe Ness? Marth again?'

Super Smash Bros Brawl was my pick in game that night which Sam complained about because we both knew he'd lose every round.

"Of course," I said and decided on the character Ness to battle against Sam's character.

Kirby again.

"I went to the mall by myself yesterday," Sam started and kept eyeing me.

"Oh God, did you buy another pair of Vans? Don't you have every color in the rainbow already?"

Sam chuckled.

"Not yet," he jested but then turned serious.

"I... um... I met someone."

My heart squeezed in slight pain.

No way Sam had moved on.

I couldn't even sleep without dreaming about him.

'Okay, okay. Calm down, Noah. You didn't even know where he was going with that.'

"Uh, okay...? Who?" I asked and maybe sounded more irritated than I should've.

"A guy. His name is Evan. We bumped into each other in Pac-Sun and just started talking then had lunch together. Honestly, it all happened so fast, we just hit it off and..."

"Why the fuck are you telling me this?" I asked almost harshly as I turned away from the T.V. screen and put all my attention on Sam.

Sam looked taken aback by my words but what the absolute fuck was he on, thinking I wanted to fucking hear this?

"I just... he asked me out and I was just wondering..."

My heart sunk, fuck, I had to leave.

"Sam, you don't need my permission to date someone."

"I know but..." Sam got cut off by my cell-phone's ring tone sounding through the air.

I hesitated because I did 'but also didn't' want to hear what Sam was going to say but he nodded at my cell-phone.

"It's okay. You can pick it up."

'Sorry,' I mouthed to him then answered my cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Noah Wright? Son of Mark Wright?" asked a woman, over the phone.

"Uh, yeah," my anxious leg started moving.

"Who is this?"

"I'm calling from Saint John's Hospital. You're father has been in a car accident," she informed me.

"You're his emergency contact."

"What?"

I stood up feeling my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, standing up as well, his large eyes worried.

The lady on the phone start spewing out information but I couldn't catch it all as my head felt dizzy.

I only understood a few key phrases such as, car crash, impact, tried everything.

I hung up, not even aware if she was still talking or not.

I turned to Sam who was giving me a questioning look.

"My dad got into a car accident."

"Oh my God," Sam coved his mouth with his hand.

"He's at Saint John's hospital. I have to go."

My heart was beating so fast. I felt nauseous.

My hands were shaking, my stomach was filled with dread.

"Let me drive you," he insisted, setting down his controller.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Come on," and I followed him up the stairs.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday, February 21st, 2024!

4:13am: Ok I love when I read something online and it actually helps sometimes it just takes a day to find ofc someone, or a whole group/ thread of ppl to relate to. I love the Internet, it helps when you're alone 80% of the time.

Ok so a thread about shame/guilt. But it's a good one bc a lot of the time ppl will post about guilt but then everyone in the comments just yay/nays what they did. This guy never says what he did so it's definitely more applicable to other scenarios and not just a peanut gallery.

Basically, kind of like CBT for intrusive thoughts. Pretending like you're telling someone this story, how would they react? Pretending like ok your worst fear about this case comes true, then what? (Either breaking into my apartment, stealing my cats (idc about other possessions personally but to each their own) or being taken to small claims court I suppose. All of these things, even the worst being the cats being taken away somehow, I know I'll live and life will continue on. Things happen for a reason I 100% believe that nothing happens for no reason. There's a reason this chain of events occurred. Something is telling me God was maybe the one looking for any reason to cut him out of my life. Just have faith in something and you'll always have that something to live for (at a minimum, besides all of the other wonderful things there are to live for).

It happened, I apologized, I offered to help, I made my amends. Could things have gone better? Yes I'll take accountability for that. But also, did he have to threaten my brother twice last week? Absolutely not, and he does not realize how that impacted my decision to be much less cordial, less accommodating, because that would infringe upon my boundaries. I don't want my family to feel uncomfortable, this is a boundary for me now and yk it just doesn't only apply to relationships but also friendships. You were making my brother uncomfortable, there is now a crossed boundary and no shit I'm going to alter my behavior because you act erratically and think your behavior doesn't affect anyone outside of yourself. You are wrong.

The other thing the post says is identifying why you did what you did and how to not do it again. I did what I did because I was scared of you. I'm scared you would make a move on me if we went into that closet together. I'm scared of what would happen if I reject you. I'm scared that you were going to provoke a fight with my brother. I'm scared you're going to take my cats AND this is not irrational because you have given me reason to think you would because they are "in your name". You can't just say that shit to people and expect them not to fucking react to it, you are a shitty person for so many reasons and so many things you've said to me like WITHIN the last month bro, not even like I was holding onto shit you said a long time ago. No this was all recent bullshit you said to me and just thought you could get away with.

Ok so how to avoid this in the future? Don't associate with narcissist assholes who disrespect every person who has ever tried to be nice to them. Don't be friends with assholes. This is literally how I will avoid this moving forward. Don't move in with an asshole who is full of red flags. Ok I feel confident now that this will not happen again. Please feel free to refer back to this post. That's the remedy to this situation, don't get involved with a shitty person, once they show you they are shitty, time is up. Just don't get so entangled with a little bitch coward who is willing to value possessions over people time and time again. You know you're better than him, and there's other better people to be friends with. I actually feel like I can move on after writing this all out. I've learned my lesson time and time again with this one person. Repeated behavior doesn't change. Now if I had been known to destroy people's personal belongings, do you think he would've kept that shit here so long? No because I've never fucking done that before, intentionality or accidentally. So to act like this was some grand scheme of mine, he's just looking for a reason to hate me and dump his negativity onto me. I understand nobody likes getting their shit fucked up, and I apologized, he's too immature for me. I can't control what he does or how he feels, if this is how he chooses to react, my reaction to that is really all that matters! I just gotta do what's best for me.

"Life is 10% what actually happens and 90% how you react to it"

2:10pm: vibing in class, finally caught up with everything after being sick!! :') also sitting here thinking, I think my brother saved my life this weekend ❤️ truly, like how my neighbors saved my life. I love them all. I already feel so much less stress.

5:49pm: (text to speech while driving) I called his grandma and talked to her for an hour :) she told me when she saw that all of the things were wet that she just had to laugh and that she was not mad at me and this is why I love this woman she told him that he still could not be mad at me because of all of the f***** up s*** he did to me and she's right that's how I felt about it too I was like I could have thrown these things in the garbage and she & everybody is surprised that I didn't throw his s*** in the garbage like I what why would I keep the things and just let them get wet makes no sense and everybody knows it doesn't make any f****** sense except for his pea brain girlfriend. I feel better. This is so crazy and she even said that he did not mention anything about it to his grandma because he probably didn't even feel that angry about it and he knows it was an accident but that the grandma heard it from the girlfriend because she wants to run around and tell everyone that I left his stuff in the rain and then he just nods along to that, that's hilarious I feel like it would have been a non-issue except that his girlfriend is just running with it I knew it he doesn't hate me bro I f****** knew it he'll be back I'm going to give him his space because I mean I understand it's still not a nice thing to have happened to you and that's his ego talking, right, that ego that he has to protect by Acting mad or whatever but then once it blows over and nobody is bringing it up AKA she is not bringing it up I'm sure he'll find some reason to freaking text me again about something and then it's just all going to start up again. it's cool it is cool I don't know how long it's going to take but it will happen

Honest to God I'm just glad that Grandma thought it was funny and she's not mad and everybody still hates the gf and everybody thinks she's a snake and that she's fake and that something is morally wrong with her she's such a b**** and nobody likes her his grandma also said that she's working on giving him some type of timeline or ultimatum to move out because why would he still be living there as an adult like it just nobody wants him there AND she said it again she wants them to move in together so that they'll break up like and I keep telling her, you still don't like her?? like it's been literally 5 months they've been together for 5 months and I'm like, the fact that nobody likes each other still, nobody is trying to get to know each other, nobody has tried to make amends and everybody still is petty AF towards each other like that's not what I want to happen but that's what's happening and it has nothing to really do with me now it just has to do with the fact that she's fake as f*** and everybody can tell and he has too big of an ego to admit that he's just f***** up big time and then he just keeps f****** up it's insane the only thing that matters is my opinion about it, God's opinion about it, and his grandma's opinion about it bc she is a saint and she is amazing and I love her and I could talk to her for the whole entire night except I had to go to a meeting and now I'm here. What a relief such a relief I could talk to this woman every single day of the rest of our lives I love her and I mean even his grandpa even asked me like last week, called me randomly and was like when are you coming to town he's so cute I love them both, how can you not? oh wait unless you're a raging b**** 😂 he even mentioned to his grandma how nice it was that I sent him his birth certificate etc in the mail, like he KNOWS this was an accident, he's just being a little bitch for the time being 😂

6:06pm: Long story short, nobody is mad!! Normal people don't get mad about accidents plus everyone else would have thrown it away!! Grandma thought it was funny and still loves me, and he is just protecting his stupid ego 😂 I'm so glad I called her ❤️

P.S. Grandma did not GAF about poor grandpa dying 💀 she said I don't know that man 👀😂 aaaaaaaa I love her sm that's wild. She said the gf is so fake, just puts on this act like she's so innocent and everyone thinks she's just a weird POS. Plus she agreed it's fucked up and if she really cared about her grandpa she wouldn't have left!! I was like wtf?? Jeez so mf fake as helllllll and she's not fooling anyone yuck ick ick. And she STILL looks like a boy 💀 fucking dumbasses 😂

[steamishot]

mid-week

to follow up with my last post, i’m less emotionally distressed. i hate having some kind of unresolved conflict while being cross country with matt. i automatically felt better once he landed in LA on tuesday. i haven’t seen him in person yet; our new thing is to take things more “chill” (or as much as they can be), have more alone time, and not jam pack our schedules. 

the last time we came back to LA (and I came back first), matt went to the ER. this time around i felt on edge and worried about him given what happened last time. thank god we are learning healthier patterns, and thank god for gabbie his therapist that he really benefits from. 

upcoming plans: very late movie night tonight at 10:45pm in pasadena with matt, his bro and his dad to watch flash to celebrate his brother’s birthday. my family dinner to celebrate my cousin’s elementary school grad and my other cousin’s birthday at my aunt’s house tmr, wedding on sunday, dimsum with work friends on juneteenth, and delayed father’s day celebration on tuesday.

the gods may have heard me, because a few good things happened since. matt had two interviews yesterday (one was spontaneous) and they seem like pretty good opportunities that are mostly in line with what he’s seeking. other places are also starting to respond to his inquiries. 

also, my director finally informed me that the new position is now posted. i worked on my resume late tuesday and submitted my application yesterday. i still don’t know how this process is going to work as it seems they can’t explicitly say “i’ll hand you the job”. the JD seems like it’s written for me because it includes the work they have asked me to pick up in the past year. my director said the process depends on if there are other applicants. the range for this position is very wide: $67-155k. considering the other promotions i’ve seen recently in our department, i would be content to be bumped up to $80k. 

my bro and SIL are facing different problems than matt and i - we are opposite ends of the spectrum. my dad is guiding my SIL into buying a donut shop business. her track record shows she’s not very hardworking and prefers not to do any hard labor (i.e. work in store). she’s more about being an owner and having others work in place of her. they also spent the earnings from previous years and do not have enough assets currently to secure the business loan, as my brother is also unemployed and there are no income streams. my dad will have to sign as a guarantor. today he had a long (one sided) convo with my bro explaining that they need to get their act together financially, that they can’t rely on parents for survival and that they both need to start working immediately. my parents are happy to babysit for them if both are working.

matt and i are very hardworking (matt moreso) in comparison, but we also absorb more stress/pressure and our mental health is suffering. financially, we are great. day-to-day peace and being able to “chill”, not so much. it did make me feel bad these years to have such a stark contrast, that our unit is working very hard to support ourselves and to create better opportunities for the future, and to compare our sacrifices to my bro & SIL who are mostly chilling and reliant on my parents for help financially and otherwise. i’m excited for the months to come, to see both of them being employed and for us to have more equilibrium.