#british friends I love you. australian friends I love you. get me out of here

[crabussy]

hi gang. updated my blog title because I keep getting mistaken for australian or british over and over and over again and this cannot continue. save me

[mywritersmind]

GO OUT WITH ME - LN4

summary : Lando doesn’t beg. But when it comes to y/n, he can’t help it.

listen up : nothing big to note! just cuteness

word count : 945

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Go out with me.” He says for the third time today, watching me swipe on my strawberry lip gloss. I pocket the bottle into my jeans pocket, crossing my arms over my black vest. I look to Lando who’s behind me in his papaya suit.

“Could you please stop bothering my friend?” Oscar says, sitting on a stool in his own driver's room.

“I will if she says yes.” He looks at me with big blue eyes, smiling. Too bad I have to crush his dreams.

“No.” I shrug and look back to my childhood best friend.

“Why are you even here, Lan?” Oscar leans his head back against the wall.

“What do you mean? I love hanging out with my bestie!” He stands, messing with Oscar’s hair. I laugh a bit and his face lights up, “Go out with me.”

“Goodbye Lando!” Oscar pushes him out the door and slams it in his face. “You know he will stop if you ask him, right?”

I look at my manicure, sighing, “Yeah, I know.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

Lando won. I go to a race to watch Oscar and everywhere I turn, Landos face is being projected onto some screen. I was there in Miami and now I'm here in the Netherlands.

I’m leaving the paddock when I literally run into the man. I told you he’s everywhere!

He’s smiling like I've never seen before, sweaty and laughing before he looks up at me, “Shit, Y/n! I’m sorry.”

“No problem.” I shake my head, “Congrats, by the way.” He bites his lip, his suit unzipped and water bottle in hand.

“Thanks! You must be a good luck charm.” he winks and I'm thoroughly reminded how attractive he is. I won’t go out with him but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate him.

“You going out to celebrate?” He’s walking with me through the hall.

“Nah I want fast food and a movie.” He shakes his head, a curl falling onto his forehead. “Join me?”

“Bye, Norris.” I walk out the door.

I can practically hear the smile in his sweet accent, “See you later, Y/l/n.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I knock on Oscar’s door repeatedly, “Open up, Idiot!”

No reply.

My stupid best friend hasn’t responded to me all night, we had plans for me to cheer him up after his crappy race but he’s totally ditching me!

“That’s my room.” I freeze when he speaks. The British accent is one that I will not confuse with Oscars.

I slowly turn to Lando, “Oh.”

“Any reason you’ve come for a visit?” He holds a bucket of ice and a dutch chocolate bar. “Change your mind about the date?”

I pull my lips into a thin line, “No! I’m looking for Oscar.”

He walks closer to me, “We switched rooms. He's a level down.”

“Shit.” I roll my eyes, “You think he’s asleep?”

“Definitely. Seemed wiped after today.” He shrugs and eyes the bag I'm holding.

I was supposed to cheer him up after a crappy race, I bought all the Australian treats I could find, “Great.” I sigh. ”He’s leaving tomorrow morning so now I’m stuck with all these snacks.”

“Snacks?” Lando almost laughs, “Poor you, stuck with food.”

“Australian snacks! We were supposed to watch ‘How to lose a guy in ten days’ and he was supposed to complain about it!” I frown, I don’t get to see Oscar often even though he’s just come from break, I barely saw him.

Lando unlocks his room, “I’m sorry. I’d invite you in but I'm assuming you’d say no.”

“Lando Norris… Are you giving up?”

His head shoots up when I say it, “No! I’m respecting your wishes.” He opens the door and walks in, clearly waiting for me to make my decision.

I push past him and jump the snacks onto his bed, “Oscar told me you don’t like tim tams.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

An hour later I find myself watching Oscar and I’s movie with Lando. He’s actually really funny, and genuinely thinks this movie is hilarious.

I’m caught looking at him, “Everything okay?”

I nod slowly, pretending like I wasn’t just examining his face, “Can I ask you something?” He nods, “If I said yes… to a proper date- what would you do?”

He smiles, “Probably jump for joy, if i’m being honest.”

I roll my eyes.

“You know I don’t just ask you out on some whim right?“ He’s being serious. “I like you. I want to get to know you more.” He says it so casually but I can tell he’s nervous.

I can’t breathe, “More than just Oscar's friend?”

Lando shakes his head, toying with a candy in his hand, “You’ve always been more than Oscar's friend.”

“Then, yes.” I’m certain this time.

“Yes?”

“Yes i’ll go out with you.”

He blinks.

“You better not be joking.”

“I’m not!” I laugh and he puts his head into his hands, “Lando!”

“I knew you’d come around!” He points at me before pausing again, “This isn’t some pity thing, right? Just because I’m alone after I won doesn’t mean I’m all sad or something!”

“Lando.” I try but he keeps going.

“I did win, after all! And I don’t want you to say yes because of that either because it’s cool and all but I am more than a win also I swear I have other friends besides Os-”

“Lando!” I laugh and grab his face. He stops speaking, “I want to go out with you. Because you’re you.”

I can feel his heart beating, “That’s good.”

“Very good.” I agree. His smile hits me once more and I match it, “You’re cute.”

“I think I'm dreaming.”

note : race was TOUGHHH today😭 had to write smt happy to cope. loved it for charles tho can’t lie! hope you enjoy!

[lqvesoph]

She’s WHOSE daughter??? || LN4

gif by @quadrantslandonorris

lando norris x webber!reader

summary: During a trip to Daniel’s farm house, you find an unexpected visitor standing in your best friend’s backyard

part 1 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

masterlist | taglist

Part 2

"So glad you could make it!", Danny called and wrapped you into a hug as soon as he opened the front door. "You know I love it here!", you laughed and stepped into his home in Perth, Australia.

It was Monday before the Australian Grand Prix and Daniel had invited you to spend a few days at his farm before flying across the country to Melbourne.

You spotted an unfamiliar pair of shoes next to Daniel‘s million others but didn’t think much of it. Maybe he bought another pair.

"Daniel, tell me again where the- oh hi", you heard a familiar british accent, one that you have missed over the last three long weeks since Bahrain and turned around to find a dripping wet and shirtless Lando in the glass door that led out to the backyard. His curls were dripping shining droplets of water onto his defined and tanned chest from which you couldn’t teat your eyes away.

"The towels are in the drawer, mate", Daniel spoke, snapping you out of your trance. "Thanks", Lando mumbled but didn’t move from his place.

You all stood there in silence for a few seconds before you cleared your throat. "I… uh- I-I‘ll go to my room", you stuttered, taking the suitcase and quickly making your way up the marble stairs.

"Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?", you heard Lando hiss. "Why would you have wanted me to?", Daniel asked nonchalant, and you knew you shouldn’t eavesdrop but you couldn’t help it, wanting to know Lando‘s response. "I- I don’t know", he stuttered defensively before tapping over to the drawer to get himself a towel.

Truth was, his small crush on you grew over the last couple of weeks. He followed your every move on Instagram and Twitter, even scrolling down to pictures from 2016, finding a few of you and baby Oscar during his Formula 3 career or little you in Daniel‘s Red Bull from 2017. He‘s probably memorized your highlights at this point.

Adding to that he asked Pietra for her advice on your best songs and your discography has been on repeat for three weeks straight.

You put your suitcase next to your bed and plopped down on it, only now noticing your racing heart.

During your deep dive through Lando’s Instagram account, you obviously had seen a few pictures of him shirtless, the one from Bahrain being the set of pictures you were hung up on the most, even saving one of them. But jeez… none of those pictures did the live picture justice!

You opened your eyes and took a deep breath before rummaging around your suitcase to find the black bikini you had packed for your trip.

You put it on and took your towel, phone and sunglasses and made your way downstairs. Lando and Daniel sat by the pool on two sun beds, playing some sort of card game. Both were shirtless and had matching bucket hats on their curls. You chuckled at the sight and placed your towel on the third sun bed.

Lando looked up from the game and subtly looked you over, his eyes lingering at your pushed up breast, that were barely covered by the tight black bikini top, a little longer than appropriate but you couldn’t find yourself caring. The opposite actually, the little hesitation brought a smirk to your face.

You lay down on your stomach on the sun bed and closed your eyes. "If I fall asleep, please put some sunscreen on my back in an hour or two", you mumbled, getting a hum from both boys next to you.

You couldn’t even begin to explain how much you have missed the Australian sun.

*~**~*

You didn’t even notice you fell asleep until you were woken up by a pair of warm hands rubbing your back. Guess the flight has been more exhausting than you thought.

You lifted your head up slightly, still a little dazed from the sleep. "Heyy, good morning", a soft british accent spoke over you.

Lando.

Then you started noticing a few other things around you. For example your hair that was wrapped in a loose bun, one that you definitely didn’t do yourself.

"I put your hair up so it wouldn’t stick on the sunscreen", he said, almost as if he had read your thoughts. "Thanks", you mumbled, then you frowned. "How did you-"

"I have two younger sisters, so I know a little about hair styles", Lando chuckled and kneaded your shoulders while rubbing in the sunscreen. The small action made you groan a little. "Feels good", you muttered.

"I can tell", he spoke and you could hear the smirk on his face, so you kicked your leg up to hit his back. "Owh", he let out and broke out in laughter after. You couldn’t help but join in as well and pushed yourself up on your elbows to look around you.

You noticed the missing sunglasses on your face when squinting to see against the setting sun but quickly found them on the table next to you.

"Daniel is getting the grill ready and Heidi has just arrived a few minutes ago", Lando told you and you turned your head to meet his eyes. But got quickly distracted by his tanned chest. Your eyes flickering down and stayed there for a second longer than necessary, before looking back up into his green eyes and only now realizing how close your faces were to each other.

His gaze flickered down to your lips before finding your eyes again.

"Hey dipshit, dinner is almost ready!", Daniel called from the path between the pool section and the little hut with a fire place. "We’ll be there in a second!", Lando called back, not tearing his eyes away from yours.

Your eyes darted down to his plumb lips. "We probably should…", you whispered, letting your sentence uncompleted. Lando nodded but still kept his gaze you. "Yeah, we probably should", he agreed.

The two of you kept each other gaze for a few seconds longer before looking down at the same time and clearing your throats. You grabbed your black shorts and quickly put them over your bikini bottoms, feeling your heart beating fast in your chest and a small throbbing in your lower region. A quick stolen glance at Lando told you, your interaction also left its mark on him.

He cleared his throat another time before standing up and grabbing a baby blue loose dress shirt to put over his shoulders, leaving the buttons undone.

Together you made your way over to the fireplace, where you found Heidi and Daniel next to a bluetooth box that played relaxing music.

"Hey, honey!!", Heidi called and immediately came over to hug you. You smiled and wrapped your arms around the girl who has been like an older sister to you for the longest time.

"It’s so good to see you again!", she smiled and pushed a few strands of hair behind your ear. "Your hair has gotten so long!" You laughed and sat down at the set table.

Daniel looked at Lando with a knowing smirk, whereupon Lando rammed his elbow into the older guy’s ribs.

*~**~*

As the night came, the temperatures got chilly, even in Australia. You shivered a little even if the fire spent a little warmth.

"You cold?", Lando muttered, leaning over the armrest of his chair. You looked over at him, getting lost for a second in the way half of his face was light up by the fire light.

You hummed and wrapped your arms tighter around yourself.

"Take my hoodie", he suggested, pulling the lavender colored hoodie from his chair. "Thanks", you smiled.

From the corner of your eyes you saw how Daniel gave you a rather knowing glance but you chose to ignore it.

That was until he didn’t give you another option.

"Y/n, you wanna come and help me inside?", he asked but it sounded more like a demand. You nodded and stood up from your seat before following Daniel inside.

All while Lando’s eyes never left you.

Daniel was waiting for you by the kitchen counter. "What are you doing?", he wanted to know. You shrugged, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"He’s cute", you simply replied.

"You know I love you like my little sister but Lando’s one of my best mates. And I already know that he’s got quite the crush on you, it’s fairly obvious so I gotta make sure that this is coming from your side as well and isn’t some sort of joke flirting", the australian explained.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. "It’s not, I really do think he’s cute", you nodded.

"Does he know who your dad is?", Daniel pressed further, knowing this was some sort of make-or-break question to you.

Given the history of boyfriends you’ve had and loads of your early ones, always dating you for your father, you’ve started to not tell people about your father. Not until you were sure, they were here for you.

Your silence gave Daniel his answer.

"If you like him, why didn’t you then?", he wanted to know. "Because I want to get to know him before! I met him once three weeks ago, do you expect me to just go like "Hi, I’m Y/n, nice to meet you. By the way I’m Mark Webber’s daughter"?? I haven’t exactly spent a lot of time with him", you muttered.

"Just… don’t lead him on. I haven’t seen him this nervous over a girl in a long time", Daniel sighed and opened his arms. "C’mere."

*~**~*

Even though the night got very late, you were up incredibly early the next day, still having to adjust to the eastern australian timezone.

As quietly as possible you walked down the stairs to the kitchen, wearing a pair of jogging shorts and Lando’s hoodie from the previous night which was incredibly comfortable and even smelled like him.

You grabbed yourself a glass of water and sat down crisscrossed on a patio chair.

The morning was still a little fresh, the sun just barely leaking out from the horizon.

"Bit early, isn’t it?", a british accent spoke from behind you. You smiled before turning around to meet Lando’s sleepy eyes.

He stood in the doorway, long gray joggers and a black hoodie, similar to the one you were wearing. His curls were a mess on top of his head as he ruffled through them.

"I could say the same to you", you countered, making the boy smile. "I couldn’t sleep, still adjusting to the timezone", he told you, sitting down on the chair next to you.

You nodded in agreement. "Me too."

For a moment you sat in silence, both looking at the sunrise in front of you.

"You wanna go for a walk at the beach?", Lando suggested after a few minutes, looking over at you.

You considered your options for a second but didn’t see a reason not to, so you nodded and stood up.

You put your glass on the table and your phone in the hoodie pocket.

Together you took the small path that directly led from Daniel’s backyard to the beach.

"Nice hoodie by the way", Lando smirked, tugging at your sleeves. "Thanks, some random guy gave it to me last night", you replied with a giggle. "And you just take stuff from random dudes?", Lando faked a shocked tone. "Nah, only if they are cute", you smiled, making Lando go a little shy as he looked down with a smile.

When the you reached the beach, you stopped in your tracks. Closing your eyes and enjoying the breeze of the ocean.

"I’ve missed this", you muttered, taking a deep breath before opening your eyes to find Lando looking at you. "Los Angeles just isn’t quite the same."

"You said you grew up between LA and Canberra", Lando stated, whereupon you nodded. "How did you meet Oscar then? Because as far as I know he’s spent most of his teens in England. Or Daniel, who’s from the other side of the country", he asked.

"Well, Daniel I met through Red Bull. My dad used to work for them", you replied, careful as not to reveal too much. "At base?"

"Something like this, yeah."

"He’s been like an older brother to me for the longest time but Oscar being closer to me in age, resulted in us turning out like twins", you chuckled.

Lando felt a sting of jealousy when you talked about his teammate like that, knowing he had close to zero rights to feel this way but still.

"Anyway, I met him in the paddock a few years ago and we’ve been friends ever since", you concluded.

"And you’ve been into racing because of your dad?", he asked. You nodded but didn’t clarify further but instead grabbed his hand and dragged him to the ocean.

"Cmon, let’s go in", you called. "Go in??", Lando protested but let you drag him closer to the water. "It’s Australia, it’s warm", you giggled and kicked off your shoes off your feet. You let go of Lando’s hand and entered the water ankle-deep.

You looked back to see Lando taking off his shoes as well as his hoodie, leaving him in a white shirt. Then he carefully tapped the water before walking to you.

"Nice, huh?", you smiled against the rising sun, closing your eyes for a second.

Cold water splashing your back made you scream and open them again. You turned around to find Lando with a devilish grin looking at you. "Lando!!", you called and splashed the water back at him.

In only a few seconds it turned into a water war, both your clothes turning darker from the water splashes on them. Your eyes stopped at Lando’s torso, the water turning his white shirt see through. And you weren’t ashamed to admit that his defined abs distracted you just more than a little bit.

Lando used your little moment of distraction to launch himself at you and throw both of you down into the water completely. You gasped for air, his arms still wrapped around your body and you hair falling in wet strands on your face.

"Idiot!", you called, pushing your hair back to see Lando grin at you. His adorable smile, paired with the wetness of his curls made you smile as well. You put your hand on his neck, slowly pulling him closer to you.

A drop of water falling from his opened lips, mesmerizing you completely. Lando’s eyes searched yours, asking for permission to go ahead. You glance back down to his lips before nodding slightly.

Only seconds later, his lips touched yours in a gentle kiss. Your fingers went through his wet hair and pulled at the end.

His lips on yours felt like fire, and you wanted more.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, his hand holding your thigh as his other squeezed your waist. His lips slowly traveled along your jaw, making you lean your head to the side to give him more space.

You let out a little moan when he gently sucked on the spot under your ear and felt his lips curl into a smirk. Lando pulled back to look at you, your fingers stroking his neck.

You giggled slightly and leaned your forehead against his, closing your eyes for a second.

This is what happiness feels like, you thought.

📍Perth, Australia

tagged: landonorris, danielricciardo, heidiberger

yn.adams: Perth for the week

comments:

landonorris: Oh, what a pretty sunrise

> yn.adams: U think?

danielricciardo: When was that first picture taken???

> yn.adams: Today morning at about 5:30am while u were peacefully sleeping

> fan: Wait so if Daniel didn’t take that picture does that mean it was Lando???

oscarpiastri: 🤨

> fan: Oscar’s NOT a fan of this new friendship LMAO

fan: The boyfriend vibes are MAJOR on that last picture

fan: Since when are her and Lando friends???

fan: Okay but Yn and Lando would be crazy!!

> fan: I ship it, 100%

load more comments…

📍Perth, Australia

tagged: yn.adams

landonorris: She can sing and drive

comments:

yn.adams: 2:1 for me, u can only drive

> landonorris: 🥲

> fan: LMAOOO Yn roasting Lando hahahahh

oscarpiastri: yn.adams TEXT ME NOW!!

> fan: Poor guy’s feeling left out fr

fan: Is this a soft launch mr. norriz?

> fan: wdym "soft" HE TAGGED HER!!!

fan: The sunrise…

> fan: Nah u guys don’t understand the significance of that sunrise!!

fan: Lando and Yn posting pictures of sunrises… A picture of Yn that Daniel didn’t take…

> fan: New paddock couple alert??

fan: Lando letting someone else drive and playing passenger princess???

fan: Who even is she?

fan: Does she even know what F1 is?

> fan: LMAOO

load more comments…

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[cherry-leclerc]

so long, london ☆ ln4

genre: angst, toxic relationship traits, fluff, humor, established relationship, one-sided, smut

word count: 7.3k

You've never been read so easily by someone until he entered your world. All is good, all is true love, but realistically, that all comes crumbling down. Leaving you with a series of doubts. The kind you ignore because why not?

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+...penetrative sex, m!receiving, f!receiving

inspired by this and this !

To be completely fair, the accent wasn’t all that familiar to you. It’s odd, then alluring, then it makes you curl a brow. Australian? British? Irish—no, that’s too far off, ridiculous, really. 

It’s the end of spring, which means it’s also the start of summer, which also means your job is in full force. Which is good if you’re still considering transferring to London to study abroad. You were, thank you very much, which is why you needed a shit load of money. 

Being a waitress isn’t all that bad; the view was breathtaking. Laguna Beach has always been and always will be. It’s impossible to take away its charm. 

The diner is small, yet crowded, so it’s hard to get through with a stack of breakfast plates atop one another. A piece of bacon slips past you as you let out a curse, mentally noting to clean it up on your way back. “An order of pancakes, french toast, two hashbrowns, bacon, four freshly squeezed orange juice—shit. I forgot, it was grapefruit, wasn’t it?”

Setting down the plates as carefully as you can with their assistance, you let out a sigh. “I’ll be right back—”

“It’s fine, mate. Orange juice is just as good.” His voice is soft and rough, all at once. 

You halt, fixing your apron, awkwardly. “No, it was my mistake, I’ll fix it—”

Mmm, delicious, his friends chime in as they take a sip from the fresh beverage. The blue eyed boy signals with his dark brows. “Told you. Don’t worry about it.”

“Cool,” you mumble. “Enjoy. Oh, and let me know if you need anything.”

They don’t, which is quite upsetting since you were slightly curious to find out if you were right. Smoking a joint, you hear a loud cough. The mysterious brunette waves. “Tough shift?”

“Of course not, I love it.”

He nods. “I’m sure you do, but I’m also sure that’s not the complete truth.” He sits. “You’re on your break, I presume, which means you're not on the clock, which means I’m no longer a customer, but rather just a stranger. A stranger whom you will most likely never see again, so…”

A puff expands through the blue sky and yellow sun. You squint. “I’m worn out. Down. Worn down? Both.”

“You’re good at hiding it.”

A chuckle. “But you were able to notice which obviously means I’m not much of an actress.”

He motions over to the cigarette. You hesitantly hand it over to him as he sucks sharply and releases. Bemused, you make a face. “I was because I go through the same thing, oftentimes. More like all the time.” Another hit. “I understand.”

“I’m not sure whether I should feel seen or scared…” Humor laces your soft voice as you quirk a brow. He laughs.

“Seen, definitely.” A beat. “I’m Lando. Foreign visitor.”

Shaking his hand, you ease up, smiling, gently. “Nice to meet you, Lando—foreign visitor.” A pause. “Resident.”

“Really, now?” He plays along, teasing. You can hear it. 

“Lucky, I know. Been here my entire life. Can’t complain.”

“I bet.”

“Yourself?”

Lando winces. “England. Bristol, specifically. Ever been?” Nope. A toothy grin. “Don’t—rains all day long, gloomy all year. It’s depressing, but…” He relaxes. “It’s home.”

Staring off into the waves, you cover your face from the strong breeze. Salt air splits your tongue in half as you wipe your mouth. “Your accent. It’s captivating. As soon as I heard it, I grew jealous.”

The Brit frowns. “Your accent is much better. Clean,” he adds and you let out a snort. Accent—what accent? He rolls his blue eyes. “That one. You might not consider it one, but it is. Very…pretty.” A rosy tint flourishes onto his cheeks. Summer heat, summer breeze, perhaps. 

Retreating the roll from his hand, you stomp on it, letting the light die. “Thank you, Lando from England. You made my day.”

-

That’s the end, really. Just a nice encounter that still doesn’t make much sense, but you’re glad it happened. Normally, after a tiring shift, you borrow Benny’s surfboard and rush towards the killer waves. The soothing water releases a lot of the built up tension that lies between your shoulder blades. 

Today isn’t much different. After getting yelled at for— “getting the fucking order wrong, bitch” —and— “my toddler just threw up, yes, oh, nevermind, had a…teensy accident” — you don’t second guess it. As soon as your skin connects to the warm temperature, you sigh in sweet relief. 

“I need to get out, I need to get out, I need to—”

“You just got here, though. Plus, the water feels nice, don’t you think?”

Startled, you sit up on your board, rocking back and forth. With what looks to be a painful tan, Lando smiles, sheepishly. “Hello…again.”

“Are…” You look around, but the ocean is practically empty. “A-are you stalking me?”

His smile drops. “W-wh—no! Of course not! I saw you from afar, and I just thought…” He grimaces. “I should go.” Except he can’t. Every chance he tries to tread away, the waves only push him back. It’s comedic. “One sec…crap. One more—shit. Okay, two, two sec—”

“Ah, forget it, stay. Land of the free, no?” Rubbing your nose, you pull his paddle closer. “What brought you out here?”

“Heard it was a good day to attempt to surf. Tell you what—it’s not.”

A giggle escapes, then lessens. You furrow your brows. “Hold on a minute; are you teaching yourself? As in, no instructor? Just you? Alone? Solo?”

“Yeah, what about it?” he grumbles. “I can do it.”

You’re wheezing at this point, stomach clenching. “That’s nearly impossible! I’m mean, sort of, sort of not.” When his eyes don’t switch from being offended to getting the joke, you quickly snap your lips shut. “Can I teach you? It’s not that hard.”

He gapes, curls grow more and more. They’re cute, the way they bounce when he shakes his head. “And if it’s so easy then why can’t I just do it myself?”

“How long have you been trying?”

He burns up. “That’s not the point.”

“No, that’s exactly my point. You need a mentor, and lucky for you, I’m a surf instructor on the weekends. Come on.”

The twenty-four year old is not sure he even wants to be here, suffering from an overdose of embarrassment. Every single attempt ends up with him splashing straight into the clear water. He groans for the millionth time, clutching into his board. “I think I’m done for the day.”

You don’t fight him on it. His bruised nose makes you feel bad, and his chipped lip makes you want to giggle, so yeah, that’s enough. He can taste the salt water as he smacks his lips, trying to get rid of it. You click your tongue. “That doesn’t really do anything. Not until you bathe and brush your teeth. Or rinse. Either or.” 

He invites you to the mansion he’s rented for him and his friends, declaring that there would be endless amounts of alcohol, but when you decline, he rubs his jaw and grimaces. “Yeah, I’m not in the mood, either. Craving tacos?”

So, that’s what you two do; converse over an amazing meal. You can already note his skin shedding, but for some reason, it’s endearing. You even spot a couple of moles. Chewing rapidly to try and forget about the spice, he pants. “London, eh?”

“England,” you correct. He deadpans you.

“That’s basically the same thing. It’s along the same lines. Just like Monaco and Paris.”

You shrug. “London—yes.”

Sniffling, he reaches for his can of Coke. Gasping left and right, he winks to the best of his ability. “You’re a smart girl…I think. And you’ll get in…I think.”

“Gee, thanks, I think.”

He laughs. “I hope you get in. I really do, Laguna Resident.” You roll your eyes. “You won’t miss all of this, though?” The warmth, the people, everything. A bittersweet feeling runs through your veins, momentarily, before you wave him off.

“Nothing is holding me back, forcing me to stay. I’ll be just fine.”

Finally, he calms down, occasionally sneezing. The way he excuses himself makes him look very polished. Lando licks his lips clean, drumming his long fingers against his lap. Later you would find out this would be his nervous tick. A teller. A good one, at most. 

“Call me? When you get there, I mean—if you want to, of course. No pressure.”

And while you may not have a reason to be a part of SoCal anymore, something else seemed to tug you to the other side of the world. “Might have to take your word for it.”

“Good.”

You grin, looking down onto your lap. Later he’d know this was your way of avoiding his stare. Butterflies, for the meantime. “Good.”

-

“No, no, no! You were supposed to—forget it, nevermind. Did you at least—” The stream flatlines and Lando is left speechless, headset drooping down, inch by inch. The way his eyes furiously twitch is enough for you to peck his cheek. 

“It’s late anyways. Come on, let's go to bed.”

There’s utter nonsense, and mumbo-jumbo that he spills as he reluctantly follows. If Max had done this, and if Max had done that. Pouting, you cradle his face, forcing him to look at you. “You’re telling me you wish you would still rather be playing than spend time with me?” You gently slap his face and he smiles, sheepishly. “I’m hurt.”

“No, no, you’re right. Of course I want to spend time with you.” When you peck his nose, he sighs. You can faintly smell the cheap beer, courtesy of said Max, so you let out a screech, creating a distance. 

“Never mind. I don’t want to spend time with you, you reek.” His smile drops and you pinch the tip of your nose. “Reek, I tell you. Go brush your teeth!”

The McLaren driver snarls, then makes his way over to your shared bathroom. “I remember when you used to be fun. Seems like a decade ago.”

“And make sure to floss!”

-

If you’re able to remember, you could openly admit that you did make that call. Actually, text. You got cold feet and sent a text last minute. You met up at the pub just around your dorm, the one that is only busy during the weekends, so is practically empty during the week. Hence, Wednesday night.

Wow. Your tan is gone, is the first thing he says when he sees you. It’s true. Being away from the California sun has completely changed you. A bit, but it did. Giggling, you accept his hug, finding warmth. London weather. “How was the move? I want to hear all about it.”

Oh, the move was as good as it could get. The airport lost two of my luggages, but it’s fine, I didn’t really need many dresses, because yes, you were right, it’s always gloomy. I miss Benny like a baby, but we always keep in touch—I’m actually going to visit him for his birthday. Which is in January? Yes…yes! January third. 

“What about you? Work?”

First of all, can’t really consider it work when it’s fucking fun. Second of all, it’s quite swell. I’ve got a new teammate, which sort of sucks, but he’s nice. The car is a bit wonky, but I’m sure that’ll change throughout the course of the year. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see. 

Conversations switched from having them on a steady stool in the pub, to having them in the comfort of his flat. Plus, you two were more open and honest with one another. 

Benny, yeah, it’s pancreatic cancer, and no, I’m not okay. 

The team is fucking shit. My arm still hurts from last week's crash, but I’ll be fine. Please, don’t you worry, love. 

Lando is an absolute angel. He pays for your tickets back home, along with Benny’s treatment. He declines the help at first, but as soon as he meets your smiley boyfriend, he accepts. I’ll pay you back. Once I’m better. Lando laughs with a muppet dive. Of course—of course, Ben.

You take care of him and his injuries. Follow doctors orders. Ice at least twice a day. Don’t forget to take your pain meds. No, for the love of God, they’re not candy, sweetheart.

It’s the best and the worst. And it’s all yours.

-

He’s very much obsessed with Mila as soon as she’s born. He congratulates his brother and his sister-in-law once, and off he goes, straight to the newborn. It makes you fall in love even more, which you didn’t know was possible, but here you were. 

“I say give it a year or two.”

“More like five. Come on, honey, be realistic.”

“I am! Can’t you tell he adores her?” Oliver scoffs. “He’s my brother. I would know.” His wife rolls her eyes, then moves on to snap a few pictures of Lando and Mila, then a thousand videos. 

“Crap. I want one,” he mentions on the drive back home. He gently rubs his thumb over your leg; you shudder. “You saw me, you were a witness, I was a good enough babysitter!”

“Babysitter? You’d be a dad, not a babysitter,” you retort, though your wobbly grin is a dead giveaway. A long finger pokes at your ribs as you laugh, scooting as far enough away as the McLaren allows you to get. “One day. Just not now.”

And he knows that’s true. He’s busy with racing, you’re busy with school; it's irresponsible. Your confirmation was sweet though—it was enough. The Brit hums, continuing the drive with a bright smile. 

“One day, then.”

-

Baby talk was a fun thing to dream about. To think, daydream. Marriage talk? Now that’s serious. 

It started on a Sunday morning; a non-race week. He’s finally back home and you're ecstatic. He was too, but that slowly goes out the window when you rush him to the room. I like where this is going, he starts when you drag him along. You bite back a smile, waiting for his noise. “What the shit?” he yelps, pulling on his curls. Spinning to face you, your boyfriend groans. “Where’s all my gaming—sweetheart,” he softened his voice, softened his eyes. “Sweetheart…”

“It’s gone! Bye-bye, adios!” You twirl around the empty room. “You don’t need it, Lando. It was rotting your brain.”

The color from his vibrant face fades, leaving him to let out a delirious laugh. “No, no, it wasn’t. Wh-why would you do that?” He doubles over. “I’m going to be sick.”

After a while of letting him drown in a puddle of self-pity, you snicker. Blue eyes look up at you; furrowed thick brows. What? “They’re in the guest room. I just needed us to paint the walls.” Releasing a scream, Lando plunges for you, picking you up and spinning you around until you flop against his arms. 

“Asshole!” you yell, smacking his arm. After a series of instructions, you both fall into a pattern. He focuses on the left side of the room and you focus on the left and the right. It just makes sense.

“Stick to your side,” he mumbles, pushing you away. You burn a laser to the back of his head. “I can feel you killing me—stop it.”

“Then quit drawing, you’re ruining it!” There’s a cat, a dog, a house, his racing car, you—you presume— and Mila for good measure, but he serves her no justice as she appears to be more of a blob. Going over it with a thick layer of paint, he curses to himself. As soon as he picks up the thin brush once again, you immediately set your foot down. “No, Lando, think before you commit.”

But he must not hear you—or ignores you—because suddenly he’s drawing something unrecognizable. You almost laugh when you guess it must be a donut, but when he draws the familiar rock, you come to a halt. “Stellar, no?”

“Hardly. Looks like more of a neck guard—next!”

But he pushes you away as soon as you reach over to cover it up. “I’m being serious. I’m mean, not now, but someday. Are you…” His voice drops, slowly, and he drums his fingers onto his thigh. Your lips turn upward. “...open to it? Getting married?”

“Well,” you start and his breath hitches, nervously tapping, awaiting for your response. Pressing your lips against his, you breathe out, and he groans. “I love you, Lando. I’m more than open to it.”

He sighs in relief, kissing you harder this time, with more emotion. “Good.” A beat. “Thank you.”

-

Slowly, but surely, you’re celebrating your three year anniversary—in Japan, a race week—but still. Yuki specifically gives you two a list of places to visit, so it makes everything a thousand percent easier. Fifth, he grunts, throwing his helmet onto the tiny bed in his motorhome. Screw it, I’m blowing my brains out.

“Hey now, quit talking like that.” A kiss. “I don’t care if you’re upset, I happen to be super duper proud.”

“It’s Super Trouper,” Oscar yells from the other side of the wall. “Don’t disrespect ABBA like that.

“Yeah,” Lando hums, pulling you in. “Don’t.”

“I’ll pull the trigger,” you warn. 

He gasps, theatrically. “You wouldn’t dare…”

“Try me.” 

“I already have—sweet.” His dirty implications makes you heat up and the Australian groans as he turns up his music. Lando snickers, changing quickly. “Happy Anniversary. It’s not everyday, you know?”

“I know,” you cheer, playing with your promise ring. You beam up at the bubbly Brit. “I just wish we were home. Celebrating in the comfort of our own place.”

He doesn’t mention it, but you considering London your home—despite not growing up there—makes him crush on you harder than ever before; it's sickening. Clapping loudly, he stands up, reaching for your hand. “Then let's go back home. What’s keeping us here?”

“Yuki,” you grunt, taking his open hand. “We’d be breaking his heart, Lan. We need to do these twenty-one things.”

“Ah, he’ll understand.” A pause. “If he doesn’t then we’ll just buy his next meal to make up for it.”

Cackling, you peck his face, over and over until he pushes you away in a jokeful manner. “This is why I love you, Lando Norris!”

And he’s content, admiring the way you pack happily. He’s never seen someone so giddy to spend fourteen hours on a plane just to curl into the comfort of their bed. He’s just never seen or met anyone like you. 

It was perfect.

-

As soon as he picks up his own digital camera, he’s in love. Part of you would be jealous, definitely, if it weren’t for him stopping to take a thousand pictures of you. One in the McLaren garage, next to his car. One where you balance yourself on a swing, eventually falling straight onto your face. One of your newly bruised nose, due to the fall. One where you’re sleeping, drooling like a—

“Delete that, I don’t even want to see it!”

Shaking his head full of curls, he runs away. “No! I happen to love it!”

“Lando!”

“You look adorable.”

“Fuck you, I’m leaving. Spend the night alone, loser.”

You don’t end up keeping your word. You get your revenge, eventually, when you pie him in his sleep. He nearly chokes, but it’s all in good fun, according to you. 

But neither of you would have it any other way. You just happen to be his muse. 

-

His greediness starts to show overnight, nearly. It catches you off guard, leaving you like a lost dog. The worst part is that it’s not directed directly at you, per se, but it felt like it. Most of the time, you’d deal with this by talking to him until he calms down, by making him a cup chamomile tea, because—

“It doesn’t help!” He paces the small room, throwing his gloves harshly against the wall. 

“Studies prove—”

“Studies my ass.” An angry huff. “I just need to be alone. For a while.”

And it also catches you off guard how you don’t fight him back on it. Instead, you’re glad, fleeing out the door, straight to God knows where. Strolling, you twist and turn the thin band. 

Where are you going?

“You said you wanted to be…” Except it’s not Lando. George quirks a dark brow. You gulp, forcing a smile. “I’m sorry. I thought you were…” A painful pause. “I thought you were Lando.”

“Must be the accent.” He laughs. “Don’t worry about it. Carmen actually made me chase you down. Said she wants your opinion with something about the wedding. You know her—perfectionist.”

“Oh. Yes. Of course.” Throwing your hair over your shoulder, you beam brighter this time, though it doesn’t quite meet your eyes. “I have plenty of time.”

He’s rude when he finds you. Well, not really, but even your friends notice it. I’m telling him to wear a simple black and white suit. A bow or a tie, he can decide, but he’s insisting on wearing white and I’m like hello? You giggle, orbs moving to find George with a playful glare. 

“Why can you be the only one wearing white? It’s this some kind of rule or?”

“No, but it’s weird!” Carmen turns to face you, desperate eyes begging for backup. “Come on! Tell him it’s weird.”

Plump lips flicker upward. “I don’t know, George, it is a b—”

“Awful. You’re going to steal all the attention away from Caren and you’re going to look horrible. Just go with a traditional suit.”

The Mercedes driver doesn’t pay any attention to what was just said to him, but you and Carmen do, and that’s probably worse. You can tell she’s bothered by your boyfriend's unwanted opinion and for him going after her fiancé, so you briskly stand up. “Sweetheart, are you, um…ready to go?”

The Brit nods, fixing his bag that lays over his shoulder. “That’s why I’m here, no? Could have let me know you were leaving, too.” There’s tension in his voice; annoyance. “Also, I forgot your bag. I’ll wait for you here.”

His implication makes you queasy. You blink hastily. “Of course.” Turning to the older couple, you smile politely. “Um…text me, yeah? Let me know what you two decide on.”

Once you rush off, Carmen narrows her usually kind eyes, hard. George is quick, placing a steady hand onto her lap, and clears his throat. “You know, just because you didn’t place a podium for once doesn’t mean you get to act like a jerk. Seriously.”

Lando chooses to ignore his comment, bidding goodbye, and strolls over to find you, flustered. “Now I’m ready,” you confirm with a weak smile. The Brit laces his fingers through yours and brings it up to his mouth, pressing a warm kiss. 

“You know I love you, right?”

“I do. I do know.”

-

He’s trying to be more gentle, you can tell. With his words, with his actions. It reminds you why you chose him. He had apologized after a quiet night, settling with what he had done. How he had treated you and his friends. George is quick to accept his apology, and you were too.

“I didn’t mean it,” he groans quietly, chest pressed against yours as you ride him. “I s-shouldn’t have—fuck.” The way you clench around him tightly makes his head spin. A whine escapes your swollen lips as you nod, fast, then slow, then staggered. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you pant, finally opening your eyes to find him already looking up at you. He squeezes your hips harder, keeping you firm. “You were upset, that’s all. I get it.”

She gets it, he remembers thinking, considering himself lucky for having a girlfriend who understands. His highs. His lows. His wins. He loses. This—this is why you were the one. 

But once again, his lack of display is what reluctantly pushes you away.

Then back in.

-

It’s been three months of him not even picking up his camera. Maybe he’s just too lazy to develop his pictures, so you do it for him. There’s really no excuse. That’s what you say with light humor when you push it towards his chest, but he only cocks his head to the side. “I never asked for you to do that.”

Your stomach churns. You lick your chapped lips. “You don’t need to. I just…did it. Thought it might help get you out of your slump.”

This pushes something in him as he narrows his brows like a set of sharp knives. “Slump?” A scoff. “What? Because I haven’t been able to get a win?”

“What?” You’re dazed. “No.” You’re confused. “No, why would you say that?” 

“I don’t know—why would you?”

“I mean it because you’ve been down, that’s it. Not because…” When his eyes don’t change, and your heart continues to pound, you flip him a smile. “You’re right. My choice of words weren’t the best. I’m sorry.”

The blue eyed boy clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth once, then sets the camera to his side. “Whatever, it’s fine, I guess.” And suddenly he’s making his way to his gaming room, leaving you with wide eyes and a bruised heart. 

“Wait!” Carefully, you pick up the small camera, extending it out towards him. “Wh-what do you want me to do? Should I pack it into your suitcase? Or maybe I could—”

“Pack it, yes, but into a box and put it in the attic.” He continues his march. “I lost interest a long time ago, either way.”

You’re not dazed. You’re not confused. 

You’re broken hearted.

-

You would think that you would have learned by now. He loves you, damn it. He’s just having a tough time proving it, but it’s fine, stuff like this happens all the time.

“Hello, darling,” Carmen greets, pulling you away from your trance. The camera  pans over to Lance, Carlos, and Lando. She gingerly takes the spot next to you. “Feeling alright? Lost a bit of weight and color.” Her concern can’t be hidden behind even the tallest mountain. 

Been working out. London is gloomy all day long. Haven’t gotten proper Vitamin D. Looking down onto your lap, you twirl your fingers. Over and under, over and under, over and un—

Her hands feel warm against yours and you can’t help but flinch, instinctively needing to pull away, but she holds on tighter. Not even your boyfriend's hands have felt as warm as hers; not in a very long time. “You can talk to me. Anytime.” Eyes remain downward, watering, so, like most nights before bed, you blink them away. Hard, fast, and cruel. 

“Have you chosen the song you want to be for your guys’ first dance?”

She remains still for a second, focuses directly into your soul and you blink faster before she has a chance to decode you. She always did. “We have. My Funny Valentine. Hear this, Daniel wants to sing it. With a band and the whole thing. Nightmare.”

And you’re glad for having her stories to distract you from your feelings, because silly is what they are. Childish. False. It’s only until the end of the race where you two realize you hadn’t been paying attention. As soon as George walks in through those doors, he jumps up and down. “Hey. Top five!”

“That’s my boy!”

You feel like a creep watching them kiss with sweet emotion you can’t help but miss and crave. Your eyes flicker over to the flat screen T.V. and you’re shooting up from your seat. “Shit! I have to go!” 

He’s in the middle of a speech of some sort when you rush in gasping for air. Sheepishly, you wave, then scoot closer to Zak who gives you a quick side hug. Everyone claps and then he’s making his way to—

Not you. 

First it’s Zak, then he squeezes by. Then it’s his entire team. Then it’s Oscar. Then it’s Carlos, which is the last straw because he’s not even supposed to be here. “Mind if I squeeze in?” you squeak. The Spaniard shakes his head.

“Be my guest. I should leave anyway.” “Are you sure?” Lando quips. “Why don’t you stay?”

Brown pity eyes dance over to where you look down, then settle with a wobbly smile. “I, um…I actually have a few emails to respond to. Stay, Carlos.” It’s pathetic and embarrassing how he’s the only one who convinces you to stick around. Not even your own boyfriend. Though his hand remains by your side, it feels all for show, which it is because as soon as a few fans take a couple of pictures of you two, he finally retreats his arm.

Once the Ferrari driver finally jogs away, Lando turns to face you. “Where were you?”

“I was watching the race.” Your heart beats faster.

“Liar. Your lips just did the thing.” A halt. “What thing?”

“There! There it is again! You didn’t watch it, did you?”

Taking his palms into your own, you kiss them, feverishly. “I was, but then Carmen came over, and we started to talk, and then one thing led to another and…” Blue eyes stare down, empty. You grimace. “I’m so sorry, Lando. You got second place and I wasn’t there to celebrate. I’m so sorry.”

And perhaps he feels he already made you suffer enough with his ignorance, or maybe he was still high off his accomplishment, but it surprises you when he leans down to peck your forehead. “Just don’t let it happen again, yeah?”

You let out a breath of relief. “Pinky swear.”

He laughs, ruffling your hair. “Ah, see, I don’t believe in pinky promises.”

“Take my word for it then.”

He winks. “Good enough.”

-

I can’t believe we haven’t had a sunny day in weeks! Flipping over to face him, you pout. Weeks! That’s bonkers.

The Brit hums against his blankets, against you. It’s officially been a year since you two have been dating and it honestly felt surreal. Especially in moments like these. The kind where he was just yours. 

I tried to warn you.

You groan, pressing your cheek against his firm chest. His heartbeat is slow and steady, indicating he’s half asleep, indicating you were too awake. Indicating you should probably go to sleep, too. 

Guess I’ll just have to learn to live with it. 

Guess so.

You know…I sort of love it.

You say so because you haven’t lived here your whole life.

I could easily, you want to confess. If it’s with you, then yes, I can. But it’s too soon and you don’t want to scare him off. Not when things were a dream. Cloudy, sunny, rainy, sunshine—I don’t care. I have a good enough reason to stay. 

He vibrates due to his chuckle and you giggle due to his chuckle. Look at you being all cute.

Not trying to be cute, just speaking my truth. 

In one motion, he flips over you, hovering. You love it? Like truly? 

I love it. I truly love it.

Make me believe it.

Are my words not enough?

He grins, eyes crinkling. I’m more of a pinky promise type of guy.

You lift your small finger and he’s fast to wrap his own around it. Pinky swear. I love you and London.

And it was true. It was true for a while.

-

It all came crashing down on you, really. It was alarming, yet you had expected it. It was lonely, but survivable. It came in phases. You first noticed the doubt a bit after your third year anniversary, but no, he loves me. I know he does. 

But you were good at pushing it all away; far, far, and further. Until you couldn't think about it anymore, even if you tried. His acts were a suck punch, though. Everytime you started to heal and stand up, he only sent a new one. A stronger one. But, hey, no—he loves me. He only says it every night.

Like last Monday night. When he fucked you in his hotel room.

Or last Thursday. When he went down on you under the table.

Or Friday. When you sucked his cock in the shower.

All right before bed.

God, I fucking love you so much. Hot cum shoots down your throat and he groans like a madman. Love you so, so much. You can’t even begin to imagine. 

So, when your friends ask and check up on you, that's what you say. Yes, he reminds me everyday. He means it. Don’t worry, we’re doing better than ever.

The second comes in like a slap to the face. He had just done what you consider a low blow, but no—he’ll make up for it. He always does.

“Bullshit.” You blink your hot tears away. Carmen never—ever—curses. She’s too classy for any of that, so it’s almost funny to hear it now. But it’s not, not really. She sighs, rubbing her temples. You and your problems were stressing her out, God, how could you be so selfish?

“Forget I said anything. I’m being a fucking crybaby—”

“No. You’re not.” It seems like she’s choosing her choice of words, delicately. “You have every right to be upset. Every. Single. Right.”

And for the first time in a while, you feel completely seen. Heard. Understood. And that was a lot, but it must have been what you needed, because suddenly, you were spilling the ugly truth. The reason why you didn’t attend the last race. Or the one before that one. 

The reason why she and George found you clutching onto your chest that night in Vegas. Forgot my keys, you giggled. You two have fun! Don’t worry about me. 

Carmen is older, wiser, and so fucking mature. You love it. But you hate it because now that you sit here with more of an open mind and less defense, you blink like a lost kid at the grocery store. “You love him.”

A whimper. “I adore him.”

“A lot?”

“Infinitely.”

“But?”

Another whimper, louder this time, more wet. “He makes me sad sometimes. Is that normal?” “It is—” And it’s the delusion that always makes you stay. You’re quick to swallow it down, eager and fast. It’s all you need to hear. Carmen shakes her head. “But not to this extent. You get sad over them forgetting your favorite drink order, or when they forget to pack your heels.” An unwanted pause. The kind that gives you the room to overthink. “Not because they locked you out. Or because they forgot your anniversary.”

And she won’t admit—not when you were already so broken—but Lando hadn’t forgotten. 

She likes wine, fuck, she’s obsessed with that sparkly shit. Wine testing! We could go wine tasting and I could do it there. He twidles with the ring box. Is that good?

George raises a playful brow before releasing a laugh. It sounds great. As long as you have a nice place to take Instagram pictures, then you’re set to go. Chicks love that. Isn’t that right, love?

But she pinches her lips, forcing a smile to the younger Brit. Lando lets out a shaky breath. It’s about to be our four year anniversary—it’ll be perfect. I’ll make sure.

So, yes, she knows he loves you. But that still doesn’t make the way he treats you right. What kind of love was that? Sobbing loudly, you push your hair back. “But you don’t get it! When he’s good…” Her eyes soften and yours grows more glassy. “...he’s so good.”

“Is it worth the pain, though?”

-

The third one is the breaking point you had been avoiding for so long. The day started out gray, either way, and not just because of the dark London weather. Dragging your feet to the end of the bed, you tremble. You got the call at four a.m. and those are never good, so why were you shocked to hear from Benny’s son?

“Oh, baby…” He pulls you atop his lap, kissing your temple. “I know how much he meant to you.”

“I still owe him a surfboard. The expensive kind, too.” He quirks a confused brow, but you continue staring off into space. “They stole the last one. The one he always lent to me. His mom had gifted it to him.”

“When did this happen?” he questions, trying to keep you talking because that sounds like a good idea. To get your mind off things. 

You hum. “Last January; his birthday weekend.”

“Birthday weekend? I don’t recall—” “You weren’t there.” He doesn’t have to remember to know that’s true. It's become a habit of his nowadays and now he’s feeling guilty. Another hum, this time sadder than the prior. “He was going to teach you how to grill steak, just the way I like it.”

His stomach churns. “And how do you like it?” A beat. “I don’t remember. Ask Benny.” Then you’re crying like a newborn.Worse, actually. But he holds you through it all. So maybe this was do-able. He was nice, after all. You could stick with him forever and you’d be grateful. After what seems like a decade, you finally calm down, though your nose keeps runny. “The funeral is later this week. Are we going?” You were, with no fucking doubt, but you just wanted him to say it. There— on the tip of his tongue. You can spot it and he could taste it.

“Sweetheart…you know I have a race.” You didn’t expect him to drop everything and venture off with you, but this cut deep. Still, you understood. Plus, the proposal was ditched the moment you got the eerie call. So, yes, everything was unbalanced, but it wasn’t your guys’ fault. It was just a twist of fate. Nothing you couldn’t handle; you’ve dealt with worse.

“Right. I can go by myself.” He feels bad—you know he does—but anything, really? “You can write a letter, maybe? Just a couple of words for his family. I know it’ll mean a lot.”

He chuckles. And you should have known at that very moment because it wasn’t one you’ve heard before. “Why would I? I barely even knew the guy.”

“Excuse me?” 

The Brit continues tracing shapes onto your thigh. “I’m just saying! It sounds a bit weird coming from someone who spoke to him once. Twice at best.”

And you’re no longer dazed, no longer confused, no longer heartbroken. 

You’re just angry.

Pushing yourself off him, you glare coldly. “Barely even knew…the guy? We Skyped with him over dinner! You paid his bills! You fucking attended his sons wedding! How could you be so…fucked.”

“Sure… He was a sweet lad, but do you really think they want to hear from me?”

“Maybe not, maybe they don’t give a flying fuck, but I do. Remind me why I loved you!”

He’s up now. His heart quickens, pierces through his skin. “Loved?”

You sigh, clutching your chest. “Love. I said love.”

A huff. “No, you definitely spoke in past tense—do you not love me anymore?”

“Lando…” “No. Just be upfront with me, I can handle it. Tell me now so I don’t waste my time any longer.”

Every uncertainty you ever had, every word of advice Carmen has given you comes crashing down. She was right. He’s keeping you around for good fun. For his benefit. “Your time? What about mine? You’re the one who’s been blocking me out these past couple months!” “That’s not true—”

“Fuck, you’re right—this past year. God Lando! Haven’t you noticed how good I am at apologizing now? My zombie appearance? You left me out in the hallway! All because of what? Because I didn’t tell you I was going out with the girls?” A sour laugh. “Wake up—it’s 2024. Since when are you a shitty masochist?”

His jaw clenched. “I was worried about you! It was fucking Vegas, what was I supposed to do? And for the love of God, this again. I. Didn’t. Hear. You. Knock.”

A peach seed forms onto your chin. Skin is flushed and tears stream down your face. But he’s fine. He’s tall and firm Hard headed. Without an ounce of regret. And you want to do it. You want to make him feel what you’ve felt.

“I got my degree…”

“Woo-fucking-hoo, we’re not talking about that right now.”

“I lived a few good years, filled with pure happiness.”

He pauses. 

“But I see it now. Past all the gray clouds, I see it.” He can feel it coming and he’s desperate for you not to say it aloud, but you shrug it, face downward. “Nothing is holding me back to stay.”

His tone washes away like the Laguna waves as he gets closer to you, cradling your face. “Yes. Yes you do. You have me…”

“Lando, quit lying—I haven’t for a while now. I was just a trophy you didn’t want. One you got bored of.”

“That’s not—” “True?” A beat. “It is. And you know what also is? I don’t love you anymore.” The light in his eyes gave out, pitch black. He feels as if he’s going into cardiac arrest and you…you look at ease. Peaceful. Free. With a soft smile, you push his hands down. “I don’t think you love me anymore, either.”

“Don’t say that,” he pleads. “Please, don’t say that. Of course I love you.” Rushing over to his nightstand, he pulls out a box you only ever dreamt of. “You want proof—here! Take it! It’s yours anyways.”

“Where was this a year ago?” Opening the velvet box, you’re left with an inaudible gasp because of course it was gorgeous. And he feels a gist of hope when you place it onto your ring finger, but he slowly pales when it doesn’t fit.

“No. No. That’s your size. I know it is.” He takes it from you, analyzing it in an accusing manner. “I swear it was, I pinky…” The heater kicks on. “I swear.”

“It’s alright. This is the right ring…just not for me.” It shouldn’t affect you to see his cheeks grow splotchy, to hear his voice tremble like a kid who just skinned his knee against the pavement. But he was once your other half, so it does. 

“I don’t want you to go…”

“I don’t either. I loved being here.”

“Then stay.” You purse your lips, then scrunch your nose. “It doesn’t love me, though. And I can’t go unwanted.”

If we start saving enough money then we could buy the house—you know—the one close enough to drive to your parents? Sweet, no?

Won’t they hear us fuck? 

Ew, gross. No. I’d tape your mouth before I let that happen. You pinch his ear. This is your home.

And SoCal is yours, so why don’t we move there?

Because I don’t want to. I want to be with you and the people you love, in the place you love. Because I love you and I love the people you love, and I love London. 

You’re quite literally perfect. I hope you know.

You make it clear everyday. 

And I won’t ever stop. Because you deserve to know.

“This place is cold, the way you said it was. This place is gloomy, the way you said it was. But this place isn’t a home to me anymore…the way I once thought it was.”

Should he have been more careful—more caring—then he wouldn’t be here. This wouldn’t be happening, but it is. And it’s no one’s fault but his.

Sniffing, you rub your swollen eyes. “I’m going to pack my things and go to Benny’s funeral.” It's a declaration. He nods, attentively. “And I’m not coming back. Is that okay?”

No. It wasn’t okay. You’re tearing him in half, you’re stabbing his heart over and over again. You’re telling the truth and putting yourself first. Something he was awful at doing. What brought you two to this very moment in time.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I treated you the way I did.” I love you. “But if that’s your decision, then go on. Do what you need to do.” I love you. 

“Good.” I love you. But I can’t say it aloud if not I’d stay forever. 

You smile and he smiles back.

“Good.”

taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm @weekendlusting@chanshintien @brune77e @myownwritings @timmychalametsstuff @milasexutoire@alesainz @c-losur3 @darleneslane @togazzo @urfavnoirette @namgification @lpab @d3kstar @anniee-mr @nebarious

[wileys-russo]

r is a (new) worker in a cafe leah is a regular in. one day leah comes in with a few friends and some fans rush towards them trying to take photos or autographs. eventually the pile of people just kinda grow and block the entry . r sees this and shoos the group of people off for blocking the entrance. and leah is just there standing with that signature smirk admiring this girl who she's never seen before that's just saved her and her friends some time when leah is ordering she talks to r, thanking them for shooing the people off. (+ some teasing and friendly banter and stuff ) they have a small talk before leah's order comes in and she goes back to the table her and her friends in. before leah and her friends leave the musters up the courage to talk to you one more time, asking for your name, your number anything she could use to know you better. r teases leah and says something like "if i call you am i gonna just be 'one of your girls'?" something among those lines. sorry if this is a bit boring but i tried. i love your work btw keep it up!! you're doing amazing🙏

no p2 to this! just a cute little blurb one of your girls II l.williamson

"-and obviously you know how this works?" evelyn, your new boss, chuckled as she patted the top of the large espresso machine. "i certainly hope so." you grinned toothily, the older girl still walking you through it all quickly anyway.

"well, thats the tour over then. jobs yours!"

~

you survived your first few days unscathed, your work ethic and natural confident charm had you well liked among your coworkers and earned you regular hours as customers were showering your coffee with compliments.

the small cafe wasn't overly busy of an afternoon so you found yourself rostered mostly on mornings which you didn't mind, happy to start around five if it meant you could be home not long after lunch time and have the rest of your day as your own.

being one of the only cafe's on the street meant you had a large handful of repeat customers, and with your memory one of your best assets you knew most if not all of their orders off by heart by the end of your first week.

which is why your curiosity was peaked one morning when a group of girls you hadn't seen before came bundling in around seven in the morning, all in matching uniforms you assumed they were on a team of sorts but sports had never been of a great interest to you.

when your friends and peers were running around kicking a football or playing tag you had your head buried in a book or challenging someone to a card game, you were quite introverted until your teenage years and it wasn't until you left school all together that you came completely out of your shell.

as they all took turns ordering you clocked that there was a handful of different nationalities among them, australian, irish, british and something european you couldn't quite place.

they were all friendly enough though, two of them a blonde and a brunette leaning against the counter speaking with you as you made their coffees with a smile, all ordered at once under the same name.

"so which one of you is katie?" you questioned with a quirk of your eyebrow, the brunette sending you a grin. "that would be me, haven't seen you round here before though. you new?" katie questioned, irish accent thick and the grin never dropping from her face.

"could say that. been here a little over a week though and never seen any of you." you smiled back, leaning your head back a little as you frothed the milk and moved the wand out, hot steam flooding your vision.

"ahh see this is our regular spot but we've been jetsettin. famous footballers and all that!" katie winked as you hummed and the blonde beside her rolled her eyes.

"ignore her, if her head and her ego get any bigger she won't fit through the door!" the blonde nodded behind her as you laughed and katie pushed her.

"ah shove off russo. see ya round then new kid!" katie winked again, grabbing one tray of drinks as the blonde grabbed the other and sent you a smile, the other girls following out after them.

surviving the morning rush not long after you were taking a well earned break and sipping at a coffee of your own though you stood as a group of teenagers burst inside, their chatter filling the previously quiet room.

plastering a smile on your face you slipped your coffee beneath the counter and readied yourself to take their orders. as they rattled them off almost all at the same time you did your best to put them through, only missing two as you read them back.

half the group taking a seat a few of the girls hovered by the machine as you moved to start their order, your coworker dipping out back to toast the sandwiches ordered alongside the drinks.

"do you ever get arsenal players in here?" one of them asked as you gave her an odd look. "i don't really watch sports much, sorry." you shrugged honestly, that answer seeming to displease her as she frowned.

"like arsenal women, the football team? any of these girls?" you flinched back a little as another one of them shoved a phone in your face, eyes narrowing as they roamed the team photo in front of you, recognizing a few of the girls with katie this morning.

though sensing maybe there was something a little off with the request, you again shrugged. "don't really remember sorry, we get a lot of people in here, especially on a tuesday morning." you smiled politely as again the girls frowned, turning away from you as you focused on filling their order.

"all done!" you smiled as you slipped the last coffee into the tray, rolling your eyes as they grabbed them and gave you a weird look, hurrying over to their table.

it wasn't hard to know you'd been mentioned once or twice in their conversation as heads frequently turned to glance at you and you pretended not to notice, suddenly feeling like you were back in high school again.

you perked up as the bell for the door rang and a new group entered, but your eyes flickered over to the girls already sat down, recognizing one of your new customers to be in the same uniform as katie and her friends.

sure enough the moment the girls noticed they were up to their feet, crowding around the footballer who smiled politely and took a few photos, but you could see in her eyes that her smile never made it all the way there.

it would seem word traveled fast as within a couple of minutes a second group of teenagers appeared and you watched the blondes polite smile turn to a frown and though you couldn't hear what she was saying, you could see it wasn't being listened to.

brushing your hands off on your apron you hurried around the counter and toward the front door. "hey! if you're not a current customer, out." you warned sternly, raising your voice at the group and nodding for the blonde footballer to step inside.

"i said current." you repeated, blocking the second group of teenagers from entering as the blonde and her friends made their way to the counter. "our friends are in there, we're with them." one of the girls pointed out.

"your friends were just leaving, since their drinks and food are finished." you nodded to the empty plates and discarded takeaway cups sat on the table they'd abandoned.

"you can't kick us out." the girl from earlier frowned with a scoff. "i'm not kicking you out, but we have every right to deny service to people who don't know how to act with respect." you raised an eyebrow.

"and harassing footballers who are just trying to get a coffee doesn't sound very respectful, does it? they're humans too, so how about giving them a little privacy. feel free not to come back!" you nodded for them to move on after that, ignoring the insults thrown your way as you closed the door and headed for the counter, your coworker already taking their orders.

"nicely done, talk about an attitude problem." the girl chuckled as she handed you the order slip, sending you a wink and ducking out back as you sighed with relief it didn't seem you'd be getting in any sort of trouble.

"hey, thank you for that." you looked up to meet a confident smile and a set of bright blue eyes looking back at you. "no problem, but does that happen a lot?" you asked with concern. "more than i want. especially in the last year since the euros!" the blonde sighed with a slight chuckle.

"not a big sports fan, you might need to elaborate on that." you admitted with a smile, the blonde raising an eyebrow with a surprised look. "you don't know who i am?" she questioned but seeing the look on your own face she clearly rethought it.

"jesus that sounded self-absorbed. let me try again, i'm leah!" she held her hand out with a grin, you shook it and introduced yourself back.

"so, you're new around here right? i come at least four times a week with the girls normally and i've not seen you. i'd have remembered!" leah leaned against the counter, confident smile plastered back on her face again.

"seems to be the common theme. let me guess, you've been out of town jetsetting?" you chuckled as leah gave you an odd look. "some of your teammates were here this morning, katie said the same thing." you revealed as leah hummed thoughtfully.

"also seemed to like to think of herself as a big famous footballer, but she wasn't shocked i didn't know her though." you teased as leah playfully rolled her eyes.

"how about i take you for dinner as an apology?" leah asked somewhat hopefully, even surprising herself with the forwardness of her request. "so i can be one of your adoring fangirls? thats cute. but i don't date customers, leah." you smiled, sliding over the tray of coffees

"did you see me order these? they're not under my name, technically i'm not a customer." the blonde smiled charmingly and you shook your head amused at her persistence.

"mm you're drinking them here though? customer." you smiled back, nodding to her friends who were already sat down at a table eating food.

"it was nice to meet you leah, i'm sure i'll see you around."

~

turns out, it was a lot sooner than you thought.

that afternoon to be exact as you were out walking your best friends dog, having agreed to babysit her precious fur baby while she was away at a wedding for a few days.

you watched with an amused smile as bear raced after his ball, laughing as he nearly fell over his paws, the poor puppy growing at a rate which he couldn't seem to keep up with.

you jumped in surprise as suddenly a dog sprinted through your legs in a flash of tan fur, taking off after bear as you heard a groan behind you. "bella! come here, sit, stay, heel! oh fuck whats the word again?" you looked up to see a flash of blonde dart past you next.

"bear!" you whistled noticing the new dog sniffing him curiously, the chocolate labs head whipping toward you as you whistled again and he took off toward you, the new dog following eagerly after him.

as bear dropped in a sit by your feet you squatted down and carefully grabbed the new dogs collar, the owner racing over toward you as you checked the tag, bella.

"well aren't you lovely." you smiled, scratching behind her ears as she licked your hand making you laugh. "bella! we do not lick strangers its impolite." you looked up with a smile which was wiped away as bella's owner looked down.

"wow are you stalking me? crazy fangirl." leah tutted with a smirk as she clipped bella's leash back on and you scoffed. "i'm sure you'd like to think so, but i haven't even given you enough thought to google your last name." you hit back as she gasped and held a hand to her chest, bear running off again as bella tried to follow with a whine.

"my poor ego, that hurt." leah sighed with a shake of her head as bear returned, dropping his ball at your feet as you clipped his own leash back and slipped the ball into your pocket.

"i'm sure it'll recover when the next adoring fan asks you for a selfie. maybe next time i'll leave you to the wolves and just do my job." you smiled, starting to walk off as leah was quick to fall into step with you.

"you mean you're not a security guard?" leah spoke with mock surprise as you hummed. "only a lowly barista." you pouted sarcastically, bear and bella also walking in step.

"might be in the wrong profession, you're proper scary." leah smirked poking at your arm as you pushed her gently, not missing the sarcasm in her tone at the obvious height difference between you both, the blonde easily two heads taller.

"didn't see you complaining about the coffee so i don't think i've missed my calling." you laughed as leah shook her head. "wouldn't know, i had the hot chocolate. not the best i've had!" the blonde shrugged as you scoffed.

"well if you can run on a football pitch like you can run your mouth i'm sure you're just as famous and successful as you think you are." you hit back though the smile on your face betrayed the false offence in your tone.

"oh even more so! best in the world." leah stated dead seriously as you both exchanged a glance and her face broke into a grin, bumping her shoulder into yours.

"well. we're not in your workplace so i'm not a customer, can i take you to dinner? i'd ask you out for coffee but i don't drink it and i'm sure you think you're just as good at making it as i know i am at football." leah smirked and despite the cockiness you could see just a flicker of nerves in her eyes as you both stopped walking for a moment.

"are all footballers this insufferably self absorbed?" you questioned with a raised eyebrow. "only the really really talented ones." leah grinned cheekily, beanie sitting lopsided on top of her head as you smiled.

"fine, dinner. so i guess i have to give you my number then lily." you pulled your phone from your pocket. "leah." the blonde corrected as you exchanged numbers.

"oh was it? just such a forgettable name and face." you shrugged, both of your walking resuming as leah hummed. "cute." the blonde retorted with a smirk and a shake of her head.

"i am. and by the end of dinner maybe i'll have humbled you just enough that i might tolerate a second date with...sorry was it lucy? layla? luna?" you pondered with a frown as leah shoved you with a grin.

"leah."

[briefalpacashark]

~Darkest fear~

The boys of 141 find out your darkest fear.

Warning: Swearing and mentions of needles.

================================================

How well did you fit in with the boys of 141. Too well. From day one you and Soap instantly connected. Price called you Soap 2.0. Why? Because your sarcasm and wit had you and Soap bantering for hours on end. Everything you two would say would just feed and complement the others. And God help whoever you were making fun of that day. One time Gaz had to endure two hours of back and forth. You had worked with Price before, and you were already close. Gaz you become quick friends with. And Ghost, well although slightly intimidated by the giant you came to respect one another, and the specialist abilities you both held. 

After all, you were respectful and kind. You always wore a smile and they would never admit it but to them you were like a little ball of sunshine. Or like a cute little puppy.

One day, about two days before your next mission you walked into base. Into the shared common area. To your surprise you found Gaz, Soap, and Ghost all standing around the far side of the table.

“What's going on?” you asked. Hearing the door shut behind you. You glanced back to see Price locking it and then placing his body in between you and the exit.

“You alright captain?” you asked hesitantly seeing his nervous look. 

“Damn cap, you look like you're trying to shit a brick,” Soap commented with a bemused chuckle. He wore a smirk that showed he was far too happy to be there.

“She can't be that bad,” Gaz shrugged, gesturing to you.

“What am I bad at?” You asked with a confused chuckle.

“Alright love. Now I want you to be calm,” Price raised his hands like he was talking to an injured animal. Love, it was a nickname all the british lads used. 

“Calm, what you on abou-” Your words trailed off as you spotted the syringe in his hand. It was a shot. A vaccination of some kind. Instantly you scooted away from him moving around the table. Your blood ran cold as adrenaline filled your every being. You were scared of needles. Scared to the point where you would do anything to keep away from them.

“The fuck is that cap?” You asked lowly.

“Wait, you're really scared of needles?” Soap chuckled at your reactions as you hide yourself behind him.

“Love, come on now,” Price was really trying his best.

“Price, I told you. I fucken told you. You drug the fuck out of me and then that's when you give me the fucking shot,” You had a plan, one Price knew about and had done before for quite a few of your shots. You would take a sedative and that's when they would stick you. Was it ethical, no in the slightest. but it was the only way of giving you a shot without anyone getting hurt.

“I know, but this one needs to be taken when you're conscious. Something bout side effects or what not,” he explained calmly.

“I told you how I get cap,” you mumbled, pointing an accusing finger at him as you shifted from side to side.

“I know, that's why I got the lads here,” he said, nodding to them. You looked at the three that surrounded you with betrayal.

“You're in on this?” You asked. “Come on lass, it's just a little needle,” Soap smirked loving the ammo he was receiving to tease you later with. "I thought you Australians were supposed to have nerves of steel?" he joked.

“I don't think you guys understand the severity of this. I turn feral ok. I once almost bit a doctor's finger off, ok,” You admitted honestly.

“Almost?” Ghost asked.

“It doesn't matter. Cap you can't do this alright. Let's just do it tomorrow yeah?” You said as you went to slip out of the little corral they had you in only for Gaz to hold up his hand to stop you.

“Grab her,” Price gave the order. 

“Eat a dick Price!” You snapped. Gaz was the first to reach for you. With a cocky and bemused smirk, he went to grab you. A cocky smirk that was slammed against the table. Everyone's eyes went wide at the movement. You had ducked under his hand taking ahold of it and grabbed his neck slamming his face onto the table. It was a reaction; one you had no control over. 

“Oh my god, I'm sorry,” You rushed out the words shocked at your own actions. Soap was the next one to reach for you, well more like tackle. You crouched sliding to your left through Ghost's legs.

------ 

A few other soldiers on the base stared in confusion at the barrack building. What sounded like a bar fight was happening inside. The sounds of breaking furniture and shattering plates filled the air. 

There was a shocking amount of swearing and a few choice sentences before you slammed through the window. Shattering it upon impact and landing from the three story building in a tuck and roll.

And then you legged it. Like the devil himself was on your heels. There was another commotion before the three men stumbled out of the room, Pierce with a busted nose, Gaz holding his head, Ghost dusting the remnants of a broken glass of his shoulder and Soap still laying on the floor inside curled up in the fetal position. His hands clutching his family jewels. 

“How the fucks did she do that?” Price muttered in confusion as they watched your disappearing figure.

The boys in all their wisdom beside to treat giving you the shot like a mission. On the thoroughly planned and scoped out before enacting. Little did they know it would be one of their hardest missions yet. They tried to administer the shot 29 times. Every time they would come up with a different plan. They had tried everything, bribery, outsmarting you, trapping you. None of it worked, you always managed to get away.

“Macgyver!” You bloody froze as you heard your call sign. At that very moment you sat perched up in the very high corner of an aircraft hangar. Had you scaled the walls to get there, yes, was it your greatest idea, no. But you weren't thinking logically. You knew it was stupid how frightened you got but you just weren't able to control it.

“We know you're here,” they called again. You peeked around the large beam spotting only Ghost in the entrance. Instantly you looked for the others. Were they trying to trap you again? 

“Come on Sargent,” He was your Lieutenant. You should have listened to him. But you kept your mouth shut happily perched in your little hidey hole. 

“It's fine. Just so you know Gaz it hurt. Idiot sprained his ankle running afta ya,” He informed. Instantly you felt guilty, and a little worried for your teammate. You wanted to get down and help, but you also knew the possibility of it being a trap. Ghost waited a few moments before cursing under his breath. He began to search the hanger. Under every trap inside every plane. Around every corner. He looked like he was about to give up. Then out of sheer luck for him, and anything but luck for you he looked up. Instantly the two of you made eye contact. He stared for a moment truly grasping the situation, trying to forget about how exactly you got up there. 

“The fuck you doing up there?” his gruff voice asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Thought it looked like a comfortable place to sit,” you shrugged nonchalantly. Ghost took in the awkward sit/balanced crouch you had going on.

“Oh yeah, it looks real comfortable,” he said.

“Well I am,” you stated.

“Right, well come on now, fun's over,” he nodded for you to come down.

“Respectfully sir. Suck a dick” Ghost propped an eyebrow at the insult. With your apologetic expression he knew you didn't mean it, but he had to admit. It was refreshing to see someone who was willing to insult him. “Fine, well it's either you get down yourself or I come get you,” he gave you the ultimatum.

“You're right, Let my just give up now and come down. Just like you said,'' You pretended to get ready to descale the walls.

“Thankyou,” Ghost was actually genuinely thankful. He thought by some miracle you were actually going to listen to him. 

“Yeah you know just let me,” Quickly snapping back to your original position you flipped him off. He stared for a few bewildered moments.

“That's just childish,” he said.

“You're a child,” you snapped back.

“Right,” Ghost huffed, walking up to the beams. You watched him as he struggled to scale the walls. After all he was a big man, he was carrying a lot of weight. As he finally reached the beam you were on he turned to look at you. Only you weren't there. He frowned looking down to see you sliding down a beam and hitting the ground. 

“Fuck,” he quickly did the same. Hearing the thunderous footsteps of Ghost feet would be encouragement enough for anyone to run for their lives. To you it was a reminder that you not only insulted your lieutenant but you flipped him off and called him a child. You had just made it outside of the hanger. 

Now you were fast, the fastest on the team when it came to running. You could have outrun him. Only when you stepped out into the open did you feel a sharp pain hit your left ass cheek. 

“Fucking Ass!” you came to a small hopping stop as you looked for the culprit. A little red feathered dart had been plugged into the soft tissue of your ass. 

“Did you just shoot a dart at my ass!” Your bewildered and angry yell was directed to the general direction of where it had come from. Price sat on the roof of a nearby building, dart gun in hand, Gaz by his side with a pair of binoculars.

“Direct hit,” GAz announced.

“She's pissed,” Soap commented as they watched your little tantrum. 

Later that night you stood outside on your little makeshift patio area. You hand rubbing the still stinging spot on your ass with a permanent frown. Hearing the door open you snapped your head around to glare. Ghost silently walked out and stood beside you.

“Using Gaz was a low blow,” you grumbled. Ghost silently looked over you, your cute little frown. It reminded him of a toddler that wasn't allowed to have chocolate. 

“Then what do you call kicking Johnny in the balls?” he asked.

“Tactical,” you grumbled. You were surprised to hear the softest huff of a chuckle come from Ghost. It was times like these you wish you could see his expression. But you were sure you saw the side of his mask where the edge of a smile would be, tilt upwards. The idea of Ghost smiling had you chuckling.

“What's so funny?” he asked.

“All this, I'm a medic you think I'd be comfortable with needles,” you chuckled.

“That ain’t funny. Soap getting kicked in the balls. That's funny. Fucker deserved it,” Ghost said. You chuckled again. Ghost glanced over at you, he liked your laugh. It was always a true honest one.

“Well I guess I should apologize about the disrespect I've shown today,” With a deep sigh you stood at attention. “I apologize for the disrespect I showed and not listening to orders,” You said with an embarrassed smile.

“So what will be the punishment, Lieutenant?” You asked. This was the first time you had done anything wrong with the boys. While they seemed ok with it, you were used to the military hierarchy. You had insulted a higher ranking officer once. It didn't go so well. You expected Ghost to be no different.

“Not gonna punish you,” he shrugged. You let out a relieved sigh closing your eyes. “But,” when you opened them again, Ghost was standing directly in front of you. On instinct you stepped back, hitting the pole you had been leaning on. Ghost closed the distance. You swallowed as he stepped close enough for you to feel his body heat, your neck craned back to make eye contact with him. 

“Don't ever call me a child again,” he stated his voice dropping into a serious tone. You quickly nodded with an awkward chuckle. It was meant to be intimidating, Ghost had used his size to intimidate before. While you were intimidated there was one thing that kept your attention. You could have sworn you could see a smirk under that mask. 

“Um, yeah sure,” You muttered. Leaning down he hovered his head by your ear, his hot breath faint through the mask but you could still feel it. You felt your heart jump. skip a beat and then rattle the back of your throat. Why was he so close?

“I promise you love I'm no kid,” he whispered. You were barely able to frown at his comment when something pricked your thigh. 

“The fuck was that?” you asked at the small amount of pain giving Ghost’s chest a soft shove. He stepped back holding his hand up that held an empty syringe.

“You bastard,” you whispered. Now you were sure he was smirking. You could see it in his eyes.

“Price thought it best not to tell you about the second shot,” he shrugged nonchalantly. Wow, so he basically just gave you a mini heart attack just to give you a shot.

“Next time I need to take blood from you I'm gonna miss your veins so many times,” you threatened half heartedly.

“Good thing I'm not scared of needles,” he said, his eyes shining smugly.

“You..” You glared at the tease. He simply turned towards the door. 

“Fuckers,” you grumbled as you watched him walk back into the barracks.

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--COD Master List Here--

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[cloveroctobers]

santa, doesn’t know you like i do — 2. OBX [Winter Prompts: Multi]

A/N: Only episodes 1-6 exist to me! It’s the season of joy and that’s exactly what I’m attempting to bring with this! Happy reading!

WARNINGS: Language + gender neutral friendly! & Cleo’s is unfortunately the shortest.

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE! + I’m using: 014. sitting down to exchange and open gifts, anticipating what gift you may get. is it something cool or just another pair of socks? + 010. in the kitchen making the deserts for the big day, and perhaps even making a mess too! + 017. in the trenches of snow forts, amidst a war of a snow fight! who will win? & 019. traversing the treacherous conditions of icy pavements. will you laugh as they fall or lend them a hand and go down in solidarity?

<- read my previous winter anthology prompt here if you’re about it.

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~ JJ MAYBANK ~

• I can make you fall too. So, tell me what's on your wishlist? I wanna make it come true 🎶

“…and this one is for…JJ.” Sarah reads off the personalized tag, picking up the last gift from the makeshift tree he managed to find at a sketchy tree farm.

Pope called it the ozempic tree and majority of the time, JJ spent his Christmas’ with Big John and John B (occasionally the Heyward’s too once they were up for JJ’s sparkling behavior) since it used to be his favorite holiday when they were kids. Now he was hosting Christmas’ on goat island, not to show off what he did with the place but simply because he could now.

“What?” JJ called over the music, standing by some huge stereo that he probably paid too much for.

He should have focused more on furniture like you tried to tell him but he didn’t care about that. All of the furniture in here was in good condition in his eyes—no matter the dust and the pieces he’s surfed on and broke—he would fix them in due time because he didnt need to get rid of what belonged to his blood family. He wanted to keep what was left, which stopped you from bringing up furniture talk.

This was JJ’s home and he deserved a good one for once.

Kie scoffed as she held onto her ukulele, “It’s for you idiot, open it!”

“And for the love of the most high, can we please play something else?!” Pope jumped up from the chair, almost knocking Cleo off the arm of it, making him quickly apologize, his hands going to her hips as he pressed rapid kisses to her cheek, before trading places with the boisterous blond.

JJ was tipsy, shades toppling out of his feathered hair, as he plucked the gift from Sarah’s hand then he plopped down by your legs on the floor to rest against the front of the couch. You were all proud of him, limiting his drinks to only special occasions, something JJ came up with all on his own.

It was the little things that still mattered.

He was a constant work in progress, take him as you will.

After the crap that was of last year, he wanted nothing more than to put that nightmare behind him. Time was still on his side and now JJ finally got to live it, day by day but with more warmth this time.

“I didn’t think I was on the secret santa list, since you know I’m the hostest with the mostest.” JJ winks at all the friends who groan at him.

You were all just glad he wasn’t wearing that crown on his head anymore from earlier, when he greeted you all at the front door in a terrible mix of a British or Australian accent.

Cleo shakes her head, “The holidays done made you soft, rude boy.”

“Sue me, Clee!”

“For money? I can just steal it ya know?” Cleo wiggles her fingers at her friend with a dimpled grin sent his way.

JJ quirks up a brow, “That’s not a battle I want to get into tonight. It’s all about,” he clears his throat, “Be of good cheer! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! It’s the hap-happiest time of the year!” He belts out.

“Make him stop, John B.” Sarah whines, covering her ears while John B sends a lazy smile at the friend that he was happy to call his brother.

All John B can come up with is, “Open up your gift already man, aren’t you curious?”

JJ flings one hand in the air with his cup of wine, yes red wine, this stuff was pretty good on a winter night, shout out to PawPaw Wes, but he stops short once he almost splashes some of it onto the carpet. When he looks over at you, who has their attention on their phone he nudged your knee with his elbow, “Be a peach and hold this for me, will ya?”

“Please?”

“Please, dollface?” JJ pushes his bottom lip out, leaving you to roll your eyes as you take the green plastic cup into one of your hands.

He goes to mumbling as he tears off the festive gift wrapping, “…It’s probably just some socks.”

“What’s wrong with socks?” Kie questions, “the fuzziest of socks are the best kind to keep your feet warm, skin soft-

“Blah, blah, blah.”

Kiara sucks her teeth, “okay, fuck you then.”

Which earns laughs from everyone as JJ reveals a box. He goes to shake it, noticing some tape keeping it together.

“Don’t shake it.” You say, making JJ’s blues turn to you, “It could be something fragile.”

The friends all shared a glance at this. The secret santa was Sarah’s idea and although they were under the influence, everyone seemed to be keeping track of who got who. John B got Kiara, Kiara got Sarah, Sarah got Pope, Pope got John B, JJ got Cleo, Cleo got you, and you guested it, you got JJ.

Everyone except JJ was keeping up.

“Alright, fine. You’re probably right,” JJ nods before turning back to the box while you visibly relaxed.

He’s using his teeth now to pull off some of the tape before yanking open the box. “Oh whoever did this, did a superb job. There’s even tissue paper! And it’s scented! Wait a minute…this smells a whole lot like…”

His eyes are in slits now and he wants to turn to you to confirm his suspicions but he’s also curious about what this gift is. Tossing the tissue paper any and everywhere, JJ pulls out this vintage toy bronco.

You exhaled, not sure what your friend’s reaction was as he sat beside you on the floor, “I know it’s not much but…you used to talk about owning one of these and how you used to have one kind of like this when you and JB were kids—

“Before my dad—Luke beat it up with a bat and chucked it into the garbage disposal. The damn thing spit back out and split his brow. Me letting a laugh slip out wasn’t my best move but he deserved that.” JJ told, making the room fill up with numerous amount of emotions at what a younger JJ would soon start to face on a regular.

You nod sitting on the edge of the couch now, “I got it personalized for you and everything: your favorite number on the hood, name on the side, and check out the license plate.”

JJ shifted the gray bronco to its back, letting a grin split over his lips, “PND-4L. That stand for what I think it does?”

“Uh huh.”

JJ drops his head, pinches at his brow and sniffs before lifting his head and letting out a deep sigh from his lips. He turns to you, eyes glistening in the dim of the Genrette home, “This is the best got damn gift I’ve ever received, bring it in you thoughtful thing you!”

Kiara quickly reaches out for the plastic cup, just as JJ doesn’t give you time to move afterwards, locking his arms around your waist and burying his head in your lap.

That was enough to make anyone’s heart swell, your hand going to his head as you lean to place a kiss right on top. “Glad you like it, J. Merry Christmas.”

“Like it? I love it! It’s going right on my bedside table.”

“And maybe it’ll be more motivation to actually get your own fucking car instead of stealing the Twinkie?” John B comments, rubbing at his eye.

JJ scoffs, “The Twinkie is a family car. This right here is part of the dream.” He holds the bronco up into the air before bringing it to his lips to kiss, “But I’m sure I’ve already got it.”

He mumbles that last bit as Pope puts on some r&b Christmas music instead, pulling Cleo up to dance while Kiara finishes off JJ’s wine before getting up to join the couple while strumming her ukulele and humming beautifully to the music, Sarah and John B share a tender kiss as they continue to lounge against each other, and you begin to comb your fingers through your friend’s hair.

“You’re probably the best gift giver here but sssh, don’t tell the others I said that.” JJ says, getting up to fully rest his head in your lap now.

He rests the car on his chest as you both go into your own hushed conversation, focus solely on each other as you continue to fall for each other, being the true definition of a slow burn.

| CLEO ANDERSON |

• He won't bring you somebody that loves you more than me, yeah 🎶

You’re yanked into the new and improved yet slightly messy wooden home as soon as Cleo set her brown eyes on you. You were careful as you tried to avoid a patch of flour and egg on the floor that was made into a smiley face before you then turned to an antsy Cleo. You could smell the sugar as soon as you stood on the steps of the old Maybank residence. Everything honestly felt unreal, something that you were all able to put together and work on as a family was back in your hands and a reality? It still didn’t feel real at times, being back at the home that was almost gone thanks to Luke’s snake ways and this place used to hold only darkness but the constant goal was to fill it only with light from now on.

Until your friends try to warn you otherwise before you entered the home.

“She’s worse than my military influenced uncle when it comes to the kitchen.” Pope mumbled to you, massaging the palm of his hand.

You frown as you held onto the ingredients in a reusable bag (that Kiara once gave you) that you were asked to bring on your back, “C’mon guys it can’t be that bad? We’ve been in the kitchen together before…had plenty of dinners together and Cleo’s always been fine.”

JJ scoffs as he plops down on the steps of his childhood home, “That’s just regular dinners y/n. The holidays makes people whackadoo!” He whistles a cuckoo tune before quickly glancing over his shoulder to make sure Cleo couldn’t hear him, “And Cleo is our own personal version of the bear when it comes to these desserts.”

Kiara snickers as she attempts to give JJ’s shoulder a comforting squeeze, “We were only allowed to focus on the dinner portion. The desserts are a whole new ball park and Cleo doesn’t want any of our help.”

“Only y/n’s.” John B grumbled, also appearing defeated.

You frown, sending a questioning glance to the brunette who’s leaning over the banister, glaring out at the view.

Sarah sighs, “John B got a nice scolding from Cleo…now there’s a delay with whatever last dessert she’s trying to make? Which is why—

“You guys needed me to bring the extras.” You confirm with a nod of your head before letting out a sigh, “Well I better not keep the lady waitin.”

John B scoffed, “She’ll hold off her venom a little when it comes to you.”

“I told you not to put the raisins in there, man.” JJ muttered with his elbows digging into his knees.

“Oh you think you have all the answers don’t you, Bobby Flay?” John B mouthed off, “When have you ever baked anything decent?”

JJ snorts as he squints looking away from the shifting sun,“I know raisins don’t belong in potato bread.”

“…well with some recipes in the Caribbean, does include raisins.” Pope spoke up with a light shrug of his shoulders.

John B holds his hands out to the brainiac in a see motion, “Thank you!”

JJ scowls, “Hey Pope, hey! Whose side are you on?”

As the boys bickered, Kiara and Sarah both rolled their eyes and snuck off around the wrap around porch just to get away from them, while you took the chance pushing the doors open to enter the revamped home. You can’t even blink before Cleo’s yanking at your wrist, pulling you into the (second) very open kitchen.

“Where’ve been? I want everything to be done by sundown and I’ve got to start this madness over because of freakin’ John b.” Cleo’s moving around the kitchen at lighting speed.

You nod, “I was just told…I also heard that you have other desserts too?”

“Yeah!” Cleo answers, “Guava Duff and pineapple upside down cake. It’s best to have tree options…especially with the way these fools eat.”

“So you want to remake the potato bread?”

Cleo placed her hands on her hips and deeply exhaled, “Yeah man, John B screwed it up mixing those turds into the batter! Not a fan! Coconut was just fine and you’re gonna love it.”

“I’ve actually developed an allergy out in Venezuela.” You admitted, “I’ll take your word for it though.”

Cleo frowns, “Huh? But the coconut lentil stew in Morocco? I thought—

“No don’t get me wrong, it was delicious and I didn’t want be too picky when we were all scrapping just to find a solid meal. I begged Sarah not to say anything when my eye swelled up later that night. Let’s just say…Kie and I had an adventourous time on the hunt for some inflammatories.”

“And you guys had rude boy to distract me,” Cleo fills in the blanks, “It all makes sense now.”

You offer a small smile but Cleo just shakes her head. She was too tired to realize then and think too much about what was going on. Cleo wouldn’t beat herself up too much about it but she wanted to make up for it.

“Could have told me ya know?” She takes the ingredients from the bag and starts putting them in the correct place but not without stopping to dump the contents in the bowls out into the trash again, “That’s cancelled.”

“What? No, the potato bread’s been the talk of the day…you should see it through.”

Cleo claps her hands, shushing you, followed with a wag of her finger, “No can do love…matter of fact, what’s your favorite dessert? I can make something with what we’ve got.”

There wasn’t a “maybe” in front of that statement at all. If Cleo had a plan, she was always going to see it through. Her brown eyes twinkled as they settled back on you, brow raised as she awaited for you to say anything that came to mind.

Once you revealed what your favorite dessert is, it only took the wavy haired girl a few moments to think if she had enough ingredients to whip it together for you.

“Well don’t just stand there, get over here and be my sous chef.” Cleo waved you over, “Make sure you scrub those hands in my kitchen.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You nodded and tossed in a joke, “wouldn’t want a repeat of JJ and Kie’s homemade corn dogs from the fourth.”

Both of you share a equal shudder as you stood shoulder to shoulder. Your eyes connected and Cleo sent you the sweetest smile, where both of her dimples easily appeared in her cheeks before she put her game face back on.

This was about to get hectic but you’d tolerate it because with chaos came love and you were certain that’s what this house would only be based on from this point on. Also if Cleo was going through all this trouble just for you?

Had to mean something…right?

| BARRY |

• I've been there through the good and bad, Know how to make you laugh, Kiss all your tears away, babe. Ooh, only I can do that 🎶

Snow in the Outerbanks wasn’t common but when it did, Barry liked to take advantage of it. He had the bright idea to start chucking snowballs at random people, specifically people coming out of their homes. He wanted to have a laugh whereas you wanted to build a snow fort.

He only went through with that because it would be your cover once your target tried to search the area for their culprit. The both of you were up to no good and it showed. The plan started off at the trailer, building forts on both sides of Barry’s land, which included Barry sneaking up and trying to stomp your fort out but not without a fight, before you shoved him back to his side.

“Anybody tell you your aim is trash, sunshine?!” Barry yells over his own fort, he’s been shit talking since the both of you started your first round at his place.

And frankly? You had enough so as soon as Barry lifted his head to look in your direction, you popped up with the swiftness and started windmilling two balls in his direction. The first ball hits Barry in the shoulder and the last? Clunks him right in the eye that had him doubling over.

“Bear?” You stopped celebrating as soon as you saw him holding his eye.

Barry huffed into the air, “Got damn! Did you hide a rock in there or sum?”

Cautiously you made your way over to the dark haired jack of all trades, wanting to be prepared that he wasn’t trying to sneak you as soon as you got close enough.

The way his eye had a nice pink ring around it was enough to tell you, he wasn’t joking.

“Oh shit.”

“Oh shit is right, I didn’t know we was fightin’ dirty, dawg.” Barry tried to peek at you through the injured eye.

Giving a grimace you admit, “That ball did seem kind of hard.”

Barry snorts, “And here I thought you liked my ass but you really tryna to take my shit out, havin’ me walking around this bitch like popeye.”

“I’m sorry,” you tried to grip his face and hide the laughter that bubbled in your chest but Barry dodged your hands, “You know I’d never purposely hurt you.”

Barry scoffed but still said, “I know I know but now I got to take my frustrations out with my original plan.” He rubs his hands together, “Yeah…let’s take a ride out to figure eight.”

Suddenly now that didn’t seem like the best idea.

“Nah, stop them gears.” Barry pointed at you, which made you roll your eyes, “You owe me this.”

“Fine…but no snowballs that have undercover ice in them.”

Barry sent you a look, “Oh now you want to check for that shit for the sake of them uppity kooks instead of for the safety of your man? You know that shit don’t sound right to me.”

“I said I was sorry!”

Barry just hums.

Which leads to you two heading out to Rafe Cameron’s new residence. The both of you snuck around the back, thinking it would be easier to attack from.

“Look at country club, done leveled up.” Barry snickers to himself after he dusted off his hands from building yet another fort for the both of you to hide behind.

You shrug, finding that all these beach homes looked the same, “How do we even know he’s home?”

“He’s home alright, probably up in there stressin’ over stupid shit when he’s got it made.” Barry comments.

You’ve seen their relationship play out, the good and the bad—mostly the bad and still found it interesting that the both of them chose to pop back into their lives whenever they felt like it.

Barry’s got the binoculars spying on the home, while you got tired of standing around for what felt like forever. Choosing to pick at your nails and sit on your knees until they started to lose feeling in them. Just as you’re about to announce that you’re ready to go back home, Barry yanks on your wrist to get you back into a squatting position.

“There he go!” Barry whisper-yells to you, as you peek over the lopsided fort to indeed see Rafe on his back deck, staring out at the view towards his right.

Barry’s got a wicked dimple of a smirk on his face, hands skillfully rolling a ball together before he pops up, “Merry Christmas, Abercrombie!”

He should have been a baseball player with the way he cocked his arm back, putting in extra strength to launch the ball into the air and landed it right in between Rafe’s furrowing brows.

Barry is a laughing mess while you watch Rafe swipe the show from his irritated face. His head snaps towards you two, hand going to his forehead to block out the specs of sun that shines through the gray clouds. Your eyes go wide at being caught, your hand grabbing Barry by the elbow, to set off into a run after you spot Rafe moving around his deck to head down towards you two.

“Ain’t nobody scared of, Rafe. Baby, slow down—

Barry tried to say just as you slipped on a patch of ice. Your feet go right up into the air, fingertips slipping from Barry’s puffer jacket, eyes closing as you wait for impact.

It happened in slow motion for you but quickly for Barry. He can’t help but to laugh at your cartoon ass fall, before he hears Rafe yelling from behind. Barry scrambles forward, hands attempting to grab you up by the pits but ends up slipping over your body, head first into a bank of snow that was pushed up on the sidewalk.

A mocking laughter from Rafe echoes into the sky from behind the both of you while you feel like you’re stuck in place.

“I dunno what you laughing at, country club! Ain’t shit funny!” Barry roars, after lifting his head from the snow, middle finger raised right in the air.

Rafe is snapping pictures now but keeps his distance, “That’s what y’all idiots get! Trying to fuck with me.”

“Ever heard of salt?” Barry sits up with his elbows pressing into his knees.

“Nah, now I’m definitely not paying anyone to do that around here if it keeps you two off my property.” Rafe says before motioning to Barry’s damp appearance, “You got a little something all over.”

“Yeah you talkin’ real tough.”

Barry stops his bickering with Rafe after he picks up on some sniffing. His head snaps to you, “Hey…” he starts moving over to you.

He’s trying to help you up but a scream, makes both twenty something year old’s stare at you in alarm.

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Barry ended up kissing your tears away the whole trip to urgent care. It helped some but the muscle relaxers, and some weed really did their thing. The both of you are seated on Barry’s couch, he’s got an ice pack pressed right against the ring around his eye (given by you) that officially bruised up, and he cradled a beer bottle while the both of you sat in silence watching some sitcom on a old tv set that belonged to his nonna.

You’re now sporting a neck brace, thanks to a sprain and suddenly catch each other’s side eye, before erupting in laughter together.

“Told you you’ll never get bored with me, huh, sunshine?” Barry winks at you, gold grills gleaming at you while you hold onto the brace, to subside the slight ache while you laughed.

Barry rests his head back against the length of the couch, letting this position hold the ice pack for him now, before sliding his hand over to squeeze your thigh, with your hand resting right on top of his.

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[marvelmaniac715]

My dear friends, if you don’t live in the UK, then have I got a treat for you! Every November, television viewing Brits across the country eagerly anticipate a show called ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!’ Which sees two Northern men named Ant and Dec (national treasures who’ve been on so many shows that they’re just a part of everyone’s childhood and fondest memories - one’s tall with a big forehead and the other’s short) set up camp in the Australian jungle. Then, 12 essentially barely famous people are sent into the jungle with only the bare necessities and have to compete in disgusting trials (either more physical based which means they’re doing complex tunnels and puzzles whilst accompanied by maggots, spiders and snakes, or eating based which means they’re forced to eat vomit fruit, bull penis and dish eye) to win stars which mean that they have food. Otherwise, their only food source is rice and beans. There’s crying, there’s personal stories shared on air, the celebs compete to win mementos from the other campers’ families, any luxuries such as a teabag are confiscated and punished, and at least two of the celebrities have to trick the others because they’re sent into the camp a little later than the other ten. It’s one of the best shows on British tv and I just love it even when I never know who the celebs actually are (apart from the one year when they somehow got Mo Farah).

[verdantwyrm]

YOU SAID TO GIVE U HEADCANNONS SO HERE IT GOES!!

Curly is a youngest sibling, and a bit of a Mama's boy. He also seems like the kind of freak to prefer diet soda BECAUSE of the weird aftertaste (he canonically doesn't like sweets very much so this is not too much of a stretch). I've also seen others headcannon him as Australian and i feel like it fits although tbf I'm definitely not Australian and i don't have any Australian friends so idk if I'm the one to judge how accurate it is lol.

Daisuke is a gyaruo (this one seems pretty popular actually but i keep seeing people say gyaru instead and it bugs me so much because gyaru is specifically referring to girls like it literally translates to "gal" in English, and gyaruo is a modified version with a masculine suffix added to include guys into the subculture. I've been a gyaru for around two years now, so I'm not like an expert but like come on it takes ten seconds of googling. Ok gyaru rant over.) he also loves stupid sitcoms and has the most random music taste. His playlist will go straight from like Britney Spears to MCR to Lana Del Rey. It doesn't bug him at all though he loves the genre whiplash.

Anya is from Minnesota (YES GIRL REPRESENT!!) and she loves Culver's. She canonically loves junk food, and Culver's is like the signature Midwest fast food restaurant so yeah. She also cuts her own hair.

swansea and his wife love the Great British Baking Show, and lots of other baking shows too. He says he only watches them because she likes him, but is secretly WAY more invested than she is.

Jimmy both kins AND has a crush on bojack horseman. He also was definitely that one person at your school who was always like "nobody wants to be my friend I'm so lonely 😔" and then when you get to know them you're like "WOW I FUCKING WONDER WHY" (the initial sympathy is what caused curly to become his friend, but since he's curly, he didn't have the heart to ditch him once he figured out why jimmy was so unpopular. Even though he definitely should have.)

Ok uhh i think that's it. Ur awesome btw. I hope this doesn't sound weird but i want to platonically shower you in delicate flowers and fine lace and chiffon and silks because you have a gorgeous mind. Sorry if that's weird. You're so cool.

Haha yes! Send the headcanons!! All of them!

Curly being the younger one in a family is honestly so cute, he reeks of perfect little mama's boy who gets his cheeks pinched by all the older ladies for being such a gentleman and so kind and so sweet. The diet soda thing is so true and as an Australian I absolutely give you permission and acknowledge your headcanon because he absolutely is.

Daisuke is definitely gyaruo! And I love love love all the art I see of him!! The playlist I have for him here is very much like that, he has alot of songs that varies in genre! And hes very much like me fr

Anya absolutely cuts her own hair and doesn't care if its slightly lopsided. To me she loves any kind of fast food especially cheeseburgers.

Swansea is also just like me, I feel like he has a guilty pleasure of watching nature documentaries too, he finds them relaxing and informative, a break fron machinery and electronics and just relax in the calmness of nature.

I also headcanon Jimmy to actually sound like bojack horseman too! They're so similar its kind of scary.... I feel like he and Curly absolutely became friends because one of them felt bad and was doing it partially because he's just to sweet for his own good.

Also thank you so much!! I've never recieved such positive responses before over something like my dumb little analyses. Your love and kind words are very much appreciated!! It's not weird at all and it makes me very happy ⊂(´･◡･⊂ )∘˚˳°

[vgilantee]

200 mile (per hour) club {tangerine}

bullet train tangerine x fem!reader SMUTTY (minors DNI)

requested: n/a

words: 5.8k

a/n: I have had this thought for weeks since finally watching bullet train and writing this very much was a “fuck it we ball” moment. also canon is taken as a suggestion during this fic because in order for things to work, some of the plot must be ignored

This fic contains smut! I don’t normally post smut here, and have rarely reblogged smuts. But… i really wanted to write this and share it so here we are. The reader is afab :) and the codename is… a personal favourite 😅. the original idea/draft of this fic was sent to @jangofctts but as said above, fuck it we ball and the full fic gets written!

warnings: afab!reader, swearing, smut!, unprotected sex, fingering, mentions of masturbation (fem), p in v, bad attempts at northern british vernacular, use of the word cunt instead of pussy (not intentional it's just... it flows better), no proofreading we die like men, canon is a suggestion (aka canon variance),

pronouns: she/her

MINORS DNI. any minors liking/reblogging/commenting on this fic will be blocked.

(this is your reminder that i am australian and therefore use british english and punctuation. while i do make errors, often times it is a difference in english type)

You wedged your phone between your shoulder and ear as your partner, Evaline, spoke about the nuances of a cartoon they had gotten really into while the pair of you had been in Japan. 

“Listen, Ev,” you handed the teller your crumpled yen notes with a smile - asking for a ticket to Kyoto - as you spoke down the phone, “I love you and am happy to listen to you talk- Arigatou Gozaimasu- to you talk, but can this wait until after I’m done?” Despite being partners, they were the one to stay in whatever hotel room you were set up in and work as your handler. 

Squeezing between the crowds of people, you quickly made your way toward the bullet train station. You glanced at your ticket, checking the platform for the umpteenth time since getting the ticket to make sure you were walking in the right direction. 

“You know that if I bottle this up, it will only make it worse when you get back.” You snorted in amusement, swapping the ear your phone was pressed to. “But fine, okay. I’ll keep conversation job oriented.” You thanked them just as you stepped onto the train. 

Carefully, you made your way toward your seat, sliding down into it before unzipping your small backpack. 

“So your target will be getting on the train in two stops, but won’t be getting off until Kyoto so you have time.” Out from the small pack, you pulled out a book, leaning back to rest against the wall and kick your feet up onto the joined seat beside you. The perfect way to carefully watch the aisle. “But you will be at Kyoto in about two and a bit hours. You read the briefing I sent you?” It was their not-so-subtle way of asking you if you actually knew who your target was.

“You sat beside me as I read it.” You laughed. 

“Just checking.” Their voice sing-songed down the phone. “Last thing; codename.” You breathed out, almost hoping that they had forgotten and you would be able to choose your own. Sometimes you thought that Eva gave you your codenames to get back at you for something, or just to have a laugh from their end of the jobs. Only once did they forget and you got to pick your own codename. But only once. 

“Alright, what is it this time?” You could practically hear their smirk as they replied;

“Angel.”

--

Between jobs, sometimes you and Evaline got to hang out and just relax. Although you were partners, you didn’t always get moments together were you could just be friends.

So you ordered room service of the most expensive wines and liquors on the list and got drunk together. 

As usually happens, the drunken chatter turned to a game of truth or dare, asking questions that had never come up in your friendship or partnership before. 

“Okay, okay okay,” despite already having your full attention, Eva tapped at your knee. “Truth or dare?” Although the dares were quickly discarded after you ate a full spoon of hot sauce and Eva nearly threw up after putting nearly a full banana down their throat, the question was still asked.

“Truth please.” You fell back as you dragged out the ‘e’ sound.

“What petname makes your knees go weak?” 

---

“Are you fucking with me right now?” You nearly dropped your phone. You heard the sounds of Eva throwing their head back laughing, and the short shriek as they nearly fell off their chair. 

“Sorry, sweetcheeks. That’s the name you’re stuck with.” They reply between laughs while you let out a hum, half closing your eyes suspiciously. “Anyway, enjoy your book. I’ll check in with you when the target gets on the train.” 

You felt your body shift forward slightly as the train finally took off from Tokyo station and you let yourself sink comfortably into your chair. The book you were reading was one that was worn from being dragged around for the last few months and many, many attempts to read it. So you had been taking every opportunity to read little bits and pieces when and where you could. You unfolded a dogear you had made in the page and continued reading the beat-up little book, the sound of the train speeding along its tracks becoming a soft white noise in the background. 

Just as you flip the page, out the corner of your eye you see someone sit down in one of the seats opposite you. You let your eyes flick up to see who it is, and try to hide the way your breath catches as you recognise him. 

His hair is a little longer, and his three-piece is all in place and free of blood, but you had run into him enough times to know him with the smallest of looks despite all the differences. 

But you return your eyes back to your book, pretending that there wasn’t a reaction somewhere inside of you at seeing him again. 

“I hope you aren’t here alone.” You spoke without looking up. “Nobody needs to deal with only one half of the Wonder Twins.” He let out a snort and you saw his fingers appear on the top of your book as he leaned across the table to push the book down. The forced movement had your eyes finally met his. 

“Never go on a job without him.” He winked, doing very little to try to hide his smirk.  You rolled your eyes, marking your page and swinging your legs off the seat to face him properly. “Good to see you again, gorgeous. Been a while. Too long really.” He looked you up and down slowly, as he spoke, tilting his head and twisting one of his rings. 

“Not long enough.” You replied with a half smirk, and he raised a hand to his chest in mock hurt. “So, what’s your name today?” He leaned back with pride, opening his thighs slightly and folding his arms. 

“I’m Tangerine, he’s Lemon.” You couldn’t help the laugh that broke through, and your hand shot to your mouth to cover the rest of the noise. 

“Wow, your handler must hate you.” You said, shaking your head and amusement still present in your voice. Tangerine’s eyebrows pinched as his mouth dropped open a little.

“First, we have no handler, thank you very much, darlin’. Second, I thought the names were quite clever.” You raised your hands in surrender, tilting your head. “But alright, if you think our’s are so bad, what name ‘ve you got, hm?”

If you had paused, for just a moment, before you spoke, you would have realised far sooner.

“For now, I’m Angel.” When he repeated the name back to you with a hum, you realised. Somehow, Evaline had known he would be on this train with you, and that you would cross paths. They knew about the business flirtationship you had with Tangerine, having been stuck listening on more than one occasion, and they were also very good at remembering things, including you drunkenly telling them what petname turns your knees to jelly (and a man who sometimes also had that power). 

Your mouth opened a little as you let out a small breath and silently prayed that he didn’t notice your reaction. Once you recomposed yourself, you reached for your phone. 

“So, Angel,” Tangerine leaned forward and leaned on the table, flexing his shoulders slightly and you had to fight the way your brain gave you the image of him calling you angel while his shoulders flexed above you, “what’re you doing in Tokyo? Business, or pleasure?” You glanced at him over the top of your phone as you sent Eva an all-caps message of thinly veiled threats. Tangerine emphasised the word pleasure in both his tone and a slight raise of his eyebrows.”

“Business, for now.” You meant the statement more as you would be a tourist once the job was done, but the moment you stopped talking, you could see a particular look in his eye. 

“‘For now, aye, Angel?” Tangerine’s tongue ran along the back of his top teeth, and your core tightened. You could only hum your reply, worried that if you tried to say anything your voice would break. 

You notice as his eyes look past you, over your shoulder and down the aisle to the door. He nodded at whoever he saw - you assumed his brother as he never worked with anyone else - before looking back at you and tugging his blazer tighter over his shoulder. 

“So sorry to love you ‘n’ leave you, Angel,” Tangerine stood in the aisle and ran his hands down his chest, smoothing down the fabric, “but business calls. Maybe I’ll see you later.” With a final smirk and wink, he walked away. You listened for the sound of the train carriage door opening and closing, before you let out a sigh and sunk down into your seat.

You hand shot out as you suddenly reached for your phone, Evaline’s number already on speed-dial. The moment they answered, you skipped over pleasantries, quietly yelling at them down the phone. 

“How the fuck did you know he would be on this train?” 

“Ah, so he found you, then?” You could hear the smirk in their voice as they brushed past your rudeness

---

The first time you met Tangerine and Lemon, they were doing a snatch-and-grab in a warehouse that you were in the process of clearing. They had walked in, guns drawn, to you stood over a body in the middle of pulling a machete out of his throat. 

The sound of moving feet and the cocking of guns had you freeze and look up at the men. You mirrored each other as you each slowly raised your weapons and took the other in. 

They were in clean suits, ties gently tugged loose, and each had a plastic poncho tucked into their belts for easy access. 

“Who the fuck are you?” The shorter of the pair spoke, his accented voice bouncing off the walls in the otherwise silent room. 

“I’m not with them.” You lifted a bloodied boot and kicked one of the bodies by you as you spoke, joking and trying to gauge whether the new-comers were the backup or not. 

“I can see that, love.” The other man tilted his head forward with a smirk, and you ignored the warmth that began to rise. “You just here for the kill?” You lowered your weapon, hoping that they would mirror your movement now that you knew they weren’t on the same side as the various men who laid in pools of their own blood around you. 

“Take whatever you’re here for.” You gestured around to the doors behind you. “I’m just finishing up.” You dragged the machete along the inside of your sleeved elbow, cleaning off the blood before sheathing it at your hip.

You had walked out of the building shortly after that interaction, but the moment you met Eva in the waiting car, they turned to you immediately with a smirk.

“You good?” You sunk slightly in the seat and tried disappearing into the plastic sheet that protected it from blood and other fluids. 

“That taller one was… goddamn.” 

---

It was the first of a half-dozen run-ins with the twins, each time talking more and occasionally helping each other when things got sticky. And of course, Evaline made comments about your attraction. 

“Did you suggest this job on purpose or did you find out they were here afterward?”  You were almost afraid to hear the answer. Evaline was beyond clever, and should they have wanted, they would easily have been able to made it into a tech sector of a government agency. But instead, they chose to work with you and use their brains for less than legal means. So it wouldn’t have surprised you if they had gotten into one of their phones, or seen them on one of the many cameras in airports and around Tokyo. 

“Maybe this, maybe that.” Eva giggled at you, and you could hear the shiteating grin on their face. “Enjoy the view!” They sung the last syllable before hanging up on you, and you swore, slamming your phone down into the table. 

You felt the train pull into the first stop and you let yourself recline back again and relax. You weren’t normally on edge during a job, it was something you had been doing since you were eighteen and while you had nerves and your brain ran a hundred-mile a minute, it was never something that had you feeling it in your fingertips and the back of your neck. 

Though the edge that Tangerine had you on was different. It wasn’t one where you were wanting to look over your shoulder, hoping your reflexes wouldn’t be needed. But he had you in anticipation. Your body telling you that you needed him and was waiting for his fingers to graze your skin. And now he had that cursed codename to wrap his accent around. 

With the knowledge that Tangerine was on the same train as you, the book was no longer of interest. You had to read the same sentence over and over before you actually absorbed it. So as the train took off again, you shoved the book away and climbed to your feet. 

---

  “Please tell me that’s not who I think it is.” The twins jumped at the sound of your voice, letting out f-bombs as Lemon held a hand to his chest. 

After making your way through train cars, exploring out of both curiosity and in case of emergency, you found the twins having an apparently heated conversation in the baggage area of their train car. They were engrossed in a seemingly heated conversation about ass cheeks. You weren’t entirely sure, only hearing the tail-end before deciding to interrupt.

On your way down the corridor, you glanced at each person in their seats, pausing for a millisecond when you saw the twenty-something with face tattoos angrily slumped in his seat. 

The twins looked at each other quickly, then over your shoulder to where you were pointing with your thumb back down to where he sat before finally back to you.

“Depends on who you think that is, Angel.” You rolled your eyes at Tangerine then shifted your weight so that you were more fully facing Lemon. 

“Are you idiots kidnapping or returning the homeless-looking White Death’s son?” In the cramped luggage space, you did your best to put your hands on your hips. “Because one of those is certain death.” 

“Aww, you worried ‘bout us, Angel?” You let out a scoff at his comment. 

“You wish, I just need to know how far away from you I need to stay.” Tangerine muttered a joking ouch and you and Lemon share a look. 

“Returning ‘im.” Lemon ignored his brother, already used to and over his attempts to flirt. “Best of the best tasked with bringing him and his ransom back.” You cocked your head with a teasing smile. 

“Oh, ‘the best’, huh?” You replied with a hummed laugh. “Well, if that’s all… best of luck with,” you made a rough circular gesture with your hands, “all of that. I’ll probably be seeing you later.” You stepped between the two men, though Lemon stepped further away when giving you space to pass through. You could hear their interrupted argument reignite as the door closed behind you, and you continued to make your way through passenger cars until you reached the bar car. 

Inside, you saw a man clutching a bottle of dark liquor under a blanket, eyes hidden by sunglasses. You ignored him, not one to judge someone getting black-out drunk on a train, and stepped behind the bar, reaching around until you managed to make yourself a simple vodka and sprite.

Leaning on the bar counter as you sipped your drink, you took in the unconscious man. You almost choked on your drink as you realised who it was. The Wolf. You scrambled to pull your phone out of your pocket, speed dialling one of the only contacts you had in your phone. 

“Eva, we have a problem.” You carefully walked over to the Wolf as you spoke, noticing the blood on his hands and the lack of movement under the blue blanket. “Wolf got on the train early.” You quickly went back to the counter and swapped out your now-empty glass for a pair of ice tongs. Using the tongs, you moved the blanket away from the Wolf and found staining the white of his suit was a pool of dark blood, entry wound clear as day. “And it looks like somebody got to him first.”

“What do you mean? No, that’s not possible.” You could hear Evaline frantically type as they spoke. “God fucking dammit.” They sighed. “Fine just… take a photo of his body. Hopefully we can convince them that you killed him so we can still get paid.” You did as you were told, knowing that you would have to spin this in a way that would not end up with the pair of you getting killed for lying. 

After taking the photo you moved the blanket back to where it had rested, not wanting whoever killed him to know their victim had been found. 

“I guess you can sit back and enjoy the rest of the ride now.” Eva sounded defeated as they spoke. You hummed in agreement, then turned and left the car to return to your seat. 

On your way back to your original car, you saw a stressed looking Tangerine walking toward you. It took him a moment to see you as he checked each person sitting down while he walked, and when he did the stress fell from his expression and was replaced with a cocky smirk. 

“Angel!” The way he said the name sent a pulse to your core, but you refused to acknowledge it, not wanting to show him the effect the petname combined with his accent had on you. “Good to see you, gorgeous.” He finally reached you, barely a step in front as he looked down at you. “What’s up?” 

“My job on this train’s been done.” You shrugged. “Get to enjoy the ride to Kyoto.” The corner of Tangerine’s mouth quirked. 

“Wanna give me a hand with mine?” You couldn’t tell if the offer was serious, or if it was a friend or potential business partner. But there was a greedy and horny part of your brain that wanted to spend as much time with him as you could before leaving Japan. 

“Oh you must be in a lot of trouble to need my help.” You turned around, beginning to walk back in the direction you had just come from. “Who’re we looking for?” You felt him come up close behind you, the brush of his hand against yours. 

“Can’t get enough of me, huh, Angel?” Tangerine’s voice was low in your ear, his breath hitting flyaways. Your breath hitched for a moment hearing his voice so deep and close to you. Then just as quick as the invasion of personal space came, he was gone again. “Some geezer in a bucket hat with thick rim glasses. Stole som’ing from us.” You thought you were imagining the sound of a smile in his voice, attributing it to his usual cocky demeanour. 

As you walked together, you and Tangerine spoke about yourselves - as best you could without revealing too much about your personal identities. You were quick to notice the way he would always include at least one “angel” in each sentence, saying it slightly differently each time. 

You felt Tangerine slide his hands onto your hips from behind, holding your breath as he leaned down and whispered into your ear. 

“Maybe once this is all done, we can spend some time together, Angel.” You spun around and felt his hands slide across your covered skin as you did, trying to compose yourself. Your body betrayed you though, your thighs very obviously squeezing together slightly, caused by the way he all but moaned the name into your ear.

“Fuck it.” You stepped back, letting his hands slide away, then grabbed one of his blazer lapels, dragging him the short walk to the cramped train bathroom. He made a surprised noise but made no effort to fight you. 

You pushed him down onto the closed toilet, turning to lock the stall door and spun on your heel to look at him. Tangerine had his legs spread, showing off his thighs as he let his hands rest on his upper thighs. He had a smirk on his face, only breaking it to poke out his tongue and lick his lips. You dragged your bottom lip into your mouth slowly, biting it gently. 

“Well fuck, love.” You dropped your lip with a short exhale, feeling that last little bit of resolve crumble. In the cramped bathroom, it only took you two steps to get to him, but you paused just in front of his thighs. “You’re welcome to sit.” Tangerine closed his thighs and brought his hands back to your hips, thumbs pushing up the fabric of your shirt to expose peaks of skin. You stepped forward, guided by his hands, and sat down on his strong thighs. 

It was the closest you had ever been to him, and the smell of his aftershave mixed with the feeling of his thumbs on your skin had you using what little resolve you had to stop your hips from rocking, grinding down to create any sort of friction. 

Tangerine had tormented you since he found you with your codename, and you could feel your heartbeat in your core grow each time he said it. It was cruel, how much he made you need him. 

Your hands refound their home on his lapels, pulling that last small gap closed to bring his mouth to yours. 

The kisses were hungry, desperate. Breathing each other in relief at finally having the intimate contact. Tangerine brought one hand up to the back of your neck, applying pressure with his thumb where your jaw met just below your ear. He used the change in hand placement to bring you even closer to him, and you let him, greedily shifting your hips closer to him with a slight grind. He hums out a groan against your mouth and you feel the tightening of his dark slacks. His mouth moved to your jaw and neck, leaving mouthy kisses against your skin. You let your hips continue to rock against him, noticing his own hips move slightly underneath you. Moving your hands away from his blazer briefly, you made light work of the buttons on his white shirt, loosening his tie so it hung undone around his neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, Tan.” You knew it was pathetic, confessing your long-term attraction for the British assassin. His fingers dug into your skin lightly at your words. 

“Feelin’s mutual, Angel.” His words were low against your skin before he quickly moved away from you. “Hold tight.” You tightened your grip on his blazer, quickly wrapping your legs around him as he stood up in the small bathroom space. 

Tangerine in his haste all but dropped you on the sink counter, and you let your legs fall from around him. One of his hands moved down and began its work undoing your jeans, running the backs of his fingers along your stomach and hips so he could feel the soft skin there, and you shivered at his touch and the sudden cool of his rings. 

When his hand made it to your hip, his other moved down to mirror it, two fingers on each side and tucked under your waistbands. 

Your hands slid to his shoulders and you watched through hooded eyes as Tangerine gradually moved down to a low squat, taking your bottoms with him. You shivered both from the cool of the train air conditioner and the way he was staring at you. As he stood, you kicked off your shoes and pants, allowing you to reopen your legs fully and allow Tangerine back into place, his hips pressed against yours. 

His mouth was quick to return to yours, eager to nip at your bottom lip and distract you from the cold of his rings and the feel of his hand sliding its way up your thigh.

You jolted when his thumb started rubbing light circles around your clit, whimpering into his mouth at the sudden change in stimulation. 

“Tan.” You sighed out his name against his mouth and to your relief, he began to move his thumb faster, adding a little more pressure as he did. You could feel him smirk against your mouth, and you retaliated by bringing one hand to the back of his neck and weaving fingers through his curls, giving them a slight tug. Tangerine grunted, pulling away while you held his lower lip gently between your teeth. 

“All good, Angel?” You hummed out an affirmative, knowing your voice wouldn’t hold, not when his thumb never stopped moving. 

Gradually, his hand moved down until Tangerine’s fingers were met with your building slick. You sucked in a harsh breath as he swiped two fingers up your cunt, collecting as much of the fluid as he could. He pulled his hand completely and you watched as he stared in fascination and you followed his line of sight to see as Tangerine rubbed his thumb and forefingers together, pulling away occasionally to see tiny strings connect his fingers. 

At the feeling of your eyes on him, Tangerine’s own flicked up to you. With a smirk, he quickly returned one hand to your core and the other sat on your bare hip, the hem of your shirt bunching on his wrist. Distracting you with a tight squeeze of his hand on your side, he slid a finger into you, dragging it out slowly only to quickly replace it with two fingers. 

Your head fell back against the mirror behind you and your mouth fell open, as Tangerine began an almost torturous paced drag of his fingers in and out of your cunt, matched by the movement of his thumb on your clit. Your hands blindly grabbed at his arms and shoulders, while Tangerine left open-mouthed kisses against your neck and jawline. 

As your nails dug into your skin, Tangerine moved between stretching his fingers inside of you, curling them upward to draw a broken moan from your throat, and pulsing his fingers in and out of you at an ever changing pace. He licked up the column of your throat as you whined out his name, and with every movement he made, he seemed to be trying to figure out which sound was his favourite. 

The wet sounds of his fingers working you were all but drowned out but your moaning and whining and pleading. 

“Tan, please-” your beg was cut off by the feeling of his spit hitting your cunt, adding an extra fluid into the mix quickly coating his hand, “need more.”

“I’ll fuck you properly in a minute, angel, promise.” You felt his low voice against your jaw. “Want you to cum on m’ fingers first.” Despite his generally cocky attitude, Tangerine wasn’t mean. He wasn’t going to get you so worked up with his fingers not to let you cum. 

Your grip on his arms tightened, desperate to grab onto something as Tangerine’s brutal pace never slowed. You felt the knot get tighter and tighter and your eyes rolled back, unable to bring your head up off the mirror behind you. With a broken moan, your cunt tightened in pulses around his fingers before finally the tightness let go. Tangerine’s fingers and thumb never stopped moving, greedily working you through your orgasm as your chest heaved and whines and moans bounced around the tiny bathroom. 

Tangerine slowly pulled his fingers out and you whined as he did, still sensitive. Once you managed to bring your head up and reopen your eyes, you were met with the glorious sight of Tangerine lazily sucking his fingers clean, eyes half lidded at the taste. 

“Angel, that was the most gorgeous thing ‘ve ever seen.” Your cheeks warmed at his words. “And you taste just…” Tangerine let out a short hummed moan, the only description he could think of. 

You reached out with slightly shaky hands, pulling him close enough that you could reach down and undo his belt, letting you at the fastenings of his slacks. Once they were undone, you moved your hands up slightly, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way and pushing it back so you could drag your hands across his stomach. Your mind was still lightly foggy and you almost couldn’t believe the sight was real. 

Not that you would ever admit it, but there were more than a few nights where you had dreamt of what shirtless Tangerine would look like. And more than a few where your fingers had worked while you imagined they were his. But reality was so, so much better. 

Tangerine pulled you from your thoughts with his thumb gently running across your bottom lip.

“Still wi’ me?” There was a softness in his eyes, and his cocky smirk had dropped. 

“Yeah. Still here.” Your words were soft, and Tangerine smiled. 

With your hands still resting on his stomach, Tangerine reached down with his free hand, the other still holding your jaw, and thumbed away the elastic of his underwear to pull out his cock. You watched for a moment as he gently stroked his already hard cock, before pushing his hand away with one of your own, taking his cock in your hand and slowly gliding it up and down. You felt the weight, the veins, and your eyes flicked up to see his roll back for just a moment. 

You slide your hand up from his stomach to his chest, and gently lean forward to nip at his jaw. As you do, however, you slip back slightly, and fall into the small sink. You let out a tiny shriek as you fell, and Tangerine’s eyes darted open. He lets out a snort and an amused breath falls from your lips. You shook your head, taking your hands away from him completely to place them on the counter and pushed yourself out of the sink. 

“You all good, Angel?” Tangerine put no effort into hiding his amused smile and you rolled your eyes. 

“Maybe the sink isn’t the best place for this.” A shit-eating grin made its way onto Tangerine’s face. 

Before you could react, Tangerine pulled you toward him and you immediately locked your legs around his waist. You both let out quiet moans as his cock brushed against your slick-coated cunt, the friction against your clit encouraging you to roll your hips again. 

He picked you up as you ground against him and took two steps so your back met with the wall. Once you were pressed firmly against it and Tangerine knew that you wouldn’t fall, he moved one hand down and adjusted his cock so that he head pressed against your cunt. He dragged it up and down a few times, collecting your slick and cum as lube, before pressing in. 

Although he had stretched you nicely with his fingers, Tangerine’s cock pushed in far further, and you whined at the tight feeling of him stretching out your cunt. He moved slowly, letting you adjust to his size, until finally he bottomed out. Tangerine rolled his hips, not pulling out very far but still creating a nice friction while you got used to the full feeling. 

With a gasp of his name, you told him to move. And move he did. At an almost blinding pace, Tangerine pulled out until just his tip was inside of you, before pushing all the way back in. He braced himself with one hand squeezing the underside of your thigh, and the other pressed firmly against the wall beside your head. 

Your cunt squeezed around him as he moved. Although you both wanted to take your time and enjoy this at a slower pace, you were on a bullet train and he had a job to finish. So as fast as his hips would allow him, Tangerine ploughed into you. 

Once again, your head fell back against the surface behind you with a light thud, and Tangerine immediately returned to his assault on your neck and anywhere he could reach. You knew that in an hour, all the skin on your neck and jaw would be coloured purple and red, hickeys blossoming all across the skin. And while you knew the comments you would get from Eva and the looks you would get from other passengers, you didn’t care. 

Leaving one hand to scratch at Tangerine’s chest and shoulder, you brought the other down to rub circles on your clit. 

Against your skin, you felt the low rumble of Tangerine’s moans and gasps, and you clenched around his ever-moving cock trying to coax as many of those sounds out of him as you could. 

“Close, Angel.” It took you a moment to realise that he wasn’t asking if you were close again, but was warning you that he was, and your nails ran down his chest at the realisation. 

“In me.” While it wasn’t a full sentence, it was the best you could muster as he piledrived into you, leaving fingertip bruises on your thigh. Tangerine let out a broken moan at your words, more than happy to oblige. 

His hips began to stutter and you sped up your fingers against your clit, not wanting to be left with a built up orgasm for too long after his. After two particularly short thrusts, Tangerine’s hips froze and his head fell against your shoulder as he came inside of you. Not long after he had finished, your cunt clenched around him as you came again, high-pitched moan falling from your lips. 

Tangerine slowly dragged his cock out of your sensitive cunt, and you whined at the feeling. He gently sat you down back on the sink counter, knowing your legs would likely betray you. After using some toilet paper to clean off his cock, Tangerine gently pushed himself back into his underwear, glancing down at the stain you had made. You tiredly smirked, only to flinch as he brought over some clean toilet paper and as gently as he could, cleaned up much of the fluids that had made it onto your inner thighs. 

You sighed contentedly once you were clean, and happily accepted the gentle peck on your lips. 

“Once I’m done with this job,” Tangerine spoke softly as he picked up your discarded bottoms and guided them up your legs, kissing the skin before it was covered as he made his way up, “I’m takin’ you on a proper date.” 

mutual tagging: @websterss @jangofctts (i know i tagged you already but you're also now a mutual so two tags!) @faeology

post fic note: although i do not condone cheating nor the invasion of the private lives of celebrities, i DO condone aaron (allegedly) cheating on his crusty-ass, groomer wife with his bullet train costar joey. (also a couple of my warnings read like ao3 tags but they do still count as warnings so... leave me lmao)

reblogs and kind words are always appreciated

[lqvesoph]

She’s WHOSE daughter??? || LN4

lando norris x webber!reader

summary: Quali day in Melbourne also means some secrets are being spilled…

part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5

masterlist | taglist

Part 3

The flight to Melbourne was only about three hours. Three hours that Daniel spent sleeping while Lando and you talked about god and the world.

He told you a lot about his family, his parents and siblings and his two little nieces. Your heart swelled a little at the pictures of him holding the two girls on vacation last summer.

You glanced over at Daniel and then turned your gaze to the British boy next to you.

"So, I was thinking-"

"So, about today morning-"

The two of you started at the same time, chuckling and looking down. "You go first", you quickly said, wanting to hear what Lando had to say first.

"About this morning, I… I really like you. I feel like I know you, which is pretty strange considering the fact we haven’t known each other that long. But I wanna get to know you more because… I really like you", he spoke, shyly glancing at you, only to find you smiling at him.

"I would love that, Lando", you smiled, reaching to grab his hand and interwind your fingers. "Can we please keep it low when people are around though? Because I really need to tell Oscar first before he finds out from stupid gossip pages and I don’t think his home race is the place to tell him that I’m dating his teammate", you chuckled at the last sentence.

Lando nodded in understanding and pulled your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles lightly. "That’s totally fine by me", he smiled, dropping your interlaced hands back into your lap.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"What on earth are you doing here??", your best friend called when he spotted you lingering in the back of the Mclaren garage. He quickly signaled his engineer that he’d be back shortly before walking over to you.

"You’re not even wearing any sort of Red Bull colour", Oscar stated after he looked you over once, mustering the white summer dress and lack of Red Bull hat.

"C’mon, I can’t go ‘round parading Red Bull as an Australian at the Australian Grand Prix, especially not when my best friend who’s also Australian drives for a different team", you chuckled, your eyes finding Lando’s for a second who still stood in front of the computer, looking at data along with his engineer. He sent you one of his adorable little smiles before shifting his attention back to work.

"I think this is honestly the first time you’ve ever stood inside here for more than 5 seconds and without me forcing you", Oscar chuckled.

Before Oscar could drag you to his side of the garage, Lando showed up behind him, a wide grin on his face.

"And who do we have here, Red Bull’s princess in papaya", he smirked. Your smile immediately brightening at the sound of his voice. "Well we’re not as far as me actually being IN papaya, I’m colour neutral today", you replied, making Lando raise his eyebrows before pulling his Mclaren hat off and pushing it down on your hair in a quick motion.

"Heyy!", you protested with a giggle and tried to slap his arm away. "That looks way better, wouldn’t you say Oscar?", the brit laughed and turned to his teammate, whose invisible question mark was getting bigger and bigger.

Thankfully his race engineer called him back before he could pose any of his million questions. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t still keep his eyes on the two of you, catching the gentle squeeze Lando gave your hand, that held on longer than necessary.

📍Melbourne, Australia

tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo, ybsf

yn.adams: Feels great to be back in Australia and especially at Albert Park!! Quali up next🏎️

comments:

landonorris: Loads of papaya right here🧡

> landonorris: Even a papaya sunset🤭

> fan: How did he convert her over to McLaren???

> fan: That d must me hella good if she’s willing to change teams…

oscarpiastri: How am I only posted once???

> fan: Oscar asking the important questions!!

> fan: Fr tho how did she post Lando 3x??

danielricciardo: I’m sorry, is that papaya I see there??

kellypiquet: You look absolutely gorgeous!!

> yn.adams: Luv uuuu

ybsf: THE BEACH PICTURE!!

liked by landonorris

fan: That’s a lot of papaya for you, miss🤨

fan: Posting Lando 3x in one post…

fan: Daniel with the truck LMAOOO

fan: Not a single photo from the Red Bull/RB garange🫣

> fan: Lando be turning her into a Mclaren fan

load more comments…

*~**~*

Your heart swelled with pride when you saw Lando jump up to P4 on the leader board, your smile just slightly getting bigger. You clapped your hands a few times, celebrating Max’s pole with the other crew members but secretly also Lando’s good starting position for the race tomorrow.

You quietly hushed out of the garage to walk down the paddock to Mclaren, waiting for Lando to arrive.

"Heyy!", he called with a laugh. You giggled and opened your arms for him. His curls were slightly damp from the sweat but you pushed your fingers through them anyway as his arms wrapped around your waist.

"I’m proud of you!", you muttered for only him to hear and felt him smile and squeezed your hip. "Thank you", he smiled and pulled back.

"You wanna come inside?", Lando then asked, nodding towards the papaya hospitality. You hesitated for a second but nodded and resisted the urge to grab the driver’s hand.

He smiled for a few pictures and waved at fans before opening the door for you.

"Lando, debrief is at 6", Jon reminded Lando before said boy grabbed your hand and dragged you towards his driver room.

He pushed the door shut behind you and unzipped his orange race suit, the black fireproof coming to show.

"These are so hot", you muttered, letting your intrusive thoughts take over as you trailed your fingers along his chest. Lando chuckled and pulled you closer by the waist. "You wanna take ‘em off?", he joked teasingly but the glint in his eyes told you he really wouldn’t mind if you did.

You chuckled and pulled his lips on yours, his tongue finding its way into your mouth shortly after. Lando pushed you back until the back of your knees hit the couch and he let you down on his carefully, all while letting his hands roam up and down your body.

You whined when he sucked the gentle skin on your neck, his hand coming to rest on the back of your thigh. You put your hands on either side of his face and pulled him back up so your lips could touch again.

"Lando, have you seen- oh wow, that’s why you didn’t come to congratulate me!"

The door opened, making you push Lando away from you and scrambling up to sit straight on the couch.

Oscar stood in the doorway, putting his hands on his hips. "Respect, mate. I didn’t think you’d be brave enough", he said, turning his gaze to Lando.

You squeezed your eyes shut, praying that your best friend would keep his mouth shut.

"Huh?", Lando asked, a confused expression gracing his face. "Just because Mark has always been against his daughter dating drivers, I mean I tried when I first met her but respect mate", Oscar kept talking, now crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Mark?", Lando questioned, his confusion growing as the seconds passed. You silently begged Oscar to finally quit talking but he didn’t catch on.

"Mark, her dad? Mark Webber", Oscar explained, now confused as well.

"Your dad is Mark Webber?", Lando called, turning his head to you.

Just then your phone chimed with a new message.

dad: What’s going on with you and Lando?

taglist

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[marimayscarlett]

Get to know you!

I was tagged by the lovely @morgana-lefay, thanks a lot for thinking of me 😌🤍

Since I can't concentrate on one thing for the life of me, most of these will have two answers.

-> Last song I listened to:

'In my head' by Pale 3 (it's so mesmerising and so good)

-> currently reading:

J.R.R. Tolkin - "The fellowship of the ring" as well as Flake Lorenz - "Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag" (I know this one by heart already, but it's always nice to reread some anecdotes 😊)

-> currently watching:

This little Australian mini-series called 'The Dirtwater Dynasty' which has me bawling my eyes out (you think I'm joking but no, already had three crying fits over it ✌🏻)

as well as the annual rewatch of my all time favourite show 'Friends' (watching this is like coming home 💕)

-> currently obsessed with:

Nothing which would surprise my mutuals, first and foremost these idiots:

this one in particular (found some interviews with Richard I didn't know yet and I'm geeking out again):

as well as this Australian-british one who has me in a tight choke hold (love that for me, more delusions about old men):

No pressure tags for these wonderful people: @m---e---l @gothtoast @wizzardclown @dandysnob @vulnerant-omnes @gloomy-blonde @hello-nichya-here @samshinechester @blessed-by-the-elves @rammstein4everandever @flowers-and-fichte

[junniieesbby]

your fic choices are so good you’re my #1 acc to go to

I noticed the amount of moots you have and I wanted to know what idol would you match with them?

This makes me so happy! Thank you! It was sent to me at a time when I needed to hear it but just now have the chance to answer.

My moots are the cutest people you will ever meet. At this point they are more than mutuals to me they are my friends and it has come to a point where I can say that I love and cherish each of them so much. They are the sweetest and most loving people I know. There has never been a dull moment spent with them. I will always be here for them. To remind them that they are loved and cherished. I will fight for them if I ever need to because no one messes with my little family. I don’t think I can ever stop saying this but they are SO BEAUTIFUL HELLO??? The prettiest people I know omggg.

That is such a good question! I will be answering this based on each person's personality and assuming you said idols it is open to more than just TXT. (Also tried not to go with each persons bias)

I will do it in the order of who I became friends with first (as much as I can remember)

First up is my Ellie Bear @kookthief Ellie was the first person that welcomed me into the server and she made me feel included. I was new to the whole tumblr thing and had never been on a server on discord so she made that easy for me. She is someone special to me. Sometimes we banter and are mean to each other but it is all light hearted and we know the other wouldn't care so much. Although she Denys me being British I still annoy her about it every now and than. Ellie and I share very similar cultures and that has bonded us like no other. I love talking to Ellie on the phone sometimes I think I get on her last nerve but she knows it’s all out of love. She knows how to lift me up when I'm feeling down and is just always there to hear me rant about whatever is going on. I have referred to Ellie as my sister because it really is like that. Ellie constantly turns my self doubts into motivations. I can tell Ellie anything. Ellie I love you so much. With that being said I feel like as a partner Ellie needs someone who is a few year older than her. She needs someone who is calm but has his chaotic side. She needs someone that is sweet and knows how to treat a girl right. As someone who takes care of people she definitely will be taking care of this person even if he is older. That person is none other than Jungkook himself. Jungkook is very sweet and kind. He takes care of his members in way that you might not see at first glance. He is chaotic when he wants to be, but overall he is very mature. He seems like that type that wants a Girlfriend that will take care of him, but will protect her and take care of her at all costs. He is the type of boyfriend that is like a giant teddy bear but also "if you hurt her, you're done for." He definitely is a big protector.

The next person is my baby @boba-beom Smiles I truly mean it when I say you are an angel. I remember exactly how smiles and I became friends. At first I thought she didn't like me tbh. I was like why doesn't this pretty and kind girl not like me. One day maybe a month after I had joined some of us decided to VC. A little later smiles joined us. I remember hearing her voice and being so joyed. Smiles has a very calm and soothing voice that you could literally listen to all day. We ended talking about the most random things ever. It ended up being just her and I on this VC and I remember sitting there talking about Australian slang and how some of them just made no sense. After that I think we just hit off pretty fast. Smiles is always there to listen when I am having one of days where I tend to overthink. Smiles LITERALLY will put a smile on your face. Our conversations are and will forever be some of my favorite moments ever. I will cherish you always and you will forever have a special place in my heart. Thank you for being you and having the most beautiful heart ever. Brownie points for being a fashion icon Yeonjun who?I think Smiles radiates sunshine energy with a slight silly to her side. With that being said I think she needs someone very precious. I think smiles needs someone who is definitely older than her. I think smiles needs someone that is soft and endearing. Someone that can listen to her for hours and not interrupt or seems uninterested. I think smiles needs someone who is more on the shy side to the world, but he can be silly and goofy with her. With all that in mind I would say I would match Smiles with Soobin. Soobin is the type to defend his SO like there is no tomorrow. He is very respectful and the sweetest person to roam this earth. I think Soobin would sit and listen to her and look at her like she's his world (as he should treat my baby right Soobin or we have a problem). I think Smiles would bring out the silly side of Soobin and allow him to express himself and be himself. Smiles I will never not say this I love you so so much Forever and Always.

Can we Guess who is next? Yeah that is right my wife @lovejoshua. Ilem you are truly the cutest person ever. I said this once but you make me want to protect you at all costs. You are very precious to me and you deserve an infinite amount of love and happiness in your life. Ilem is someone that I can talk to for hours upon hours. Ilem is really good at comforting people. Her words have always put a smile on my face. She is one of the most genuine kind hearted people I know. She is the type who will put others first. She is kind and is one of the people that has a heart of gold. She and I will constantly agree on many things and I just feel like she gets me so well. There was a time I won't say when, but there was a time where I thought I might have done something to upset her. Like I said before I am an over thinker and I felt like I was being "ignored" This only lasted for like two days. I remember how I was sad I kid you not I cried. I asked Smiles and Ellie if they knew if I had done something to have upset ilem because I just couldn't help it. She is someone that does mean a lot to me and I will always cherish our friendship so that feeling was the worse. But it turns out I once again was overthinking it and it wasn't anything like that. I love you so so much wifey. I think Ilem needs someone like Mingyu in her life. He is a man that from first glance could probably scare away all other men but has the biggest and softest heart. Ilem is very shy and I think that Mingyu could bring out her chaotic side when it needs to be out. He also knows when to be more on the sensitive side so he wouldn't accidentally upset her.I think they also would be so good for each other. I can just see how they would be walking around holding hands looking at each other and smiling like lovebirds. Mingyu is a BIG softie when it comes to the people he loves. He would for sure be the time put her first but she would be the same.

Next up is my other half @robin-obsessed You guys have no idea the wavelength Lee and I are on. I swear we will mention something and the next minute that same thing will pop up like WE just talked about it lol. She is so similar to me and I feel like many times I will see a few posts and be like this is so Lee. She is quite literally the MINGI to my Yunho, the Soobin to my Yeonjun you name it. She reminds me so much of Soobin like they are both the cutest and most precious ever. Both are very shy and all you want to do is put them in your pocket and protect them from this world. Lee has some of the best stories and I always catch my self smiling laughing it literally screaming while going through her stories. Lee is very beautiful with words the way she expresses herself is so real and authentic. Lee also has the most soft spoken voices ever! It’s very comforting.Lee is the calm to my chaos. Everytime someone mentions Soobin my first thought is Lee. Due to Lee being shy I think she needs someone more on the chaotic side. I think lee needs a bestfriend in a lover. She needs someone that will get her out of her comfort zone and always there for her she needs him. I think She needs someone who can drive her crazy at times but will make her feel loved and special all in one. She needs someone who is chaotic but deep down has the most pure heart ever. She needs someone who is attentive and will always be there for her. That person for Lee is Beomgyu. If you look at txt from afar and see Beomgyu you will know him as the chaotic guy in txt. He is I mean there is no lie in that. He is also kind hearted and understands people more than they know. He will always be there to make her happy and pick her up and she’s down. Beomgyu will bring out her wild side and break her shell. He will def put her first above anyone. Beomgyu will treat her very well! I love you to the moon and back!

Next up is cupcake!! @hanniejie aww lex was another person I met through VC and she sounded adorable. She is always so caring and thoughtful and I’m always so grateful for her. She has always been there to help me when I’m frustrated or just need help with something and she is always always so patient with me. The fact that she thinks of me and sends me TikTok’s or videos truly mean a lot. Lex is another person I’m grateful for due to her starting our little anon shenanigans that we have going on. She truly came and put smiles on everyone’s faces and made them all smile just from a few asks. She start this whole thing and she truly did it because she cares for us. I love you so so much. Thank you for being comfortable enough with me to share your story about your real name. With that being said I think lex needs someone who can be funny without trying. I think she needs someone who will love her and cherishes her till the end of times! She needs someone that has a pure heart a pure soul someone who is just the sweetest. Who cares about people. Who will be there for her through the hard times and good times. That person would be HueningKai. Kai is the purest of all pure. He is caring and kind and listens and will make her feel very loved I have no doubt in that. I think he is the type to love all you’re insecurities and helps you learn to love them as well. He is also possessive and I think would fight anyone who comes your way.

Next up is my cutie @baljinciaga who is literally my child at this point. Syria is the sweetest girl. She is so funny and I think we all can agree she is the gif queen. Syria is mature for her age and it’s something that I do admire a lot about her. Syria is someone I feel like I wanna take care of constantly and protect at all cost. I don’t ever want to see her sad or hurt in any way. She is another one of my shy girls at first but I think I am a very bad influence on her because recently she’s been sound like me. BUT HEY I love it! Syria is always there when I need someone to feed my delulu Ass. There was a time similar to ilem where I thought I had done something to upset Syria and I sad for days. I would never want to upset her which is why I got sad. She is someone I care about deeply and consider her one of my besties. I hope you know that my goal is always to protect you! Since you are much younger than I am I want you to know I’m here for you like an older sister if you ever need one. With that being said I think Syria needs someone older. Someone who is also mature but not too mature. She needs someone who can be both very sweet and kind hearted but also who will tease a lot. Syria needs a good man who will treat her like she’s his world. She also needs a tall man and this one is kind of hard because I wanna say yuyu because you have been actually obsessed with him for the past few days but I also think MINGI is the perfect match. MINGI is really sweet will call you pretty but he also is the type to joke around with you. Mingi has the biggest heart and is an Angel and you can tell he is so respectful and that is the type of person that Syria needs. I feel like he’s the type who is all shy and cute but when he meets the one he has a connection with he will let go. Syria can bring that side out of MINGI. I love you so much Syria I hope you know that!

Than I met my sweet baby @txt-yaomi who is very near and dear to my heart. I feel like sof and I clicked right away. She is always so sweet. I can talk to sof about pretty much everything and anything and I know she wouldn’t judge me. Sof has a beautiful heart and I know who ever ends up with her is one lucky mf. She is one of the most supportive people I know. Sof and I are the same in terms of breaking the ice. I know lots of our friends here tend to be shy and maybe they don’t know how to speak their minds and I think her and I always will bring up these topics up which gets everyone to share their thoughts. Sof called me princess once and I think I giggled about for days. I think Sof needs someone that is like a baby in a giants body. She can be silly when she needs to be and she needs someone to match that same type of energy. Sof needs a gentleman someone who will treat a girl like she’s their queen. She needs someone who will explore her mind with her. Who is down to try new things with her. She needs a partner in crime in a partner. I think the person I would match sof with would be Yunho. Y’all know how sweet and gentle yuyu is. He is someone that is very kind and loving and I just know he would put his gf in his heart and never let her go. He would definitely be down to try anything new and will do it with the biggest smile on his face. He can be serious and I think that is a good balance for a relationship. I think the longer he is with his partner the stronger the bond is. It’s like the honeymoon phase would never end when it comes to him. Plus he is tall and I know my girl needs a giant. Hence why I said a baby in a giants body. To my fellow yuyu lover I love you with all my heart always have and always will.

Next up Mon Amour @choistick Saph babyyyy we just met a few months ago but I think we have already gotten super close. Saph and I talk about soccer when it was soccer season and I think she truly gets my love for because the amount of times we complained to each other about what was going on is insane. Saph and I are almost always joking with each other and just having a very light hearted conversation. The fact that saph came to when she was having a hard time makes my heart swell. The fact that she could trust me and talk to me is very sweet. Saph is very sweet I think she shows her affection differently than others but regardless of how she shows it she’s got a pure heart. There was once when I felt like absolute shit cus I may or may not have been yelling at saph and accusing her for being an anon. I realized quickly that I was being a bitch without realizing it. I know I apologized back than but I still want to fo it again so saph I am truly sorry. You are one of my closest friends on here and I wouldn’t want to upset you in any way. Now I think saph needs someone who is laid back and chill. Someone who can protect her and shield her from this world. I don’t think she needs someone that’s on the chaotic side. I feel like someone who is more mellow is more fitting for Saph. Someone who is so unintentionally funny. I feel like saph would love someone who can whip out a magic trick during a dinner date. Someone who is sweet and kind and has no bad intentions of any kind. That someone is Taehyun. He is the type to be on a date and want to impress someone with his magic tricks. He would always watch out for her and protect her for life. He would stare at her like she’s the stars in a dark night. He would love and cherish her everyday like it’s their last. With that being said je t’aime saph. 

Last but definitely not least @writingmochi lissie!! Lis and I started to talk literally last month. I sent her an anon and the rest is basically history. Lis tends to be more on the quiet side. I think she is very sweet and tends to care about the people that are around her. I am still getting to know her so I might not have much to say about her because is still part of my little family on here. She is still someone who I do cherish and adore dearly. I just recently found out that lis is into umbrella academy and I’m looking forward to talking more about it with her. With that being said I think she needs someone who can either bring her out of her shell for everyone to see or just be silly together. She needs someone who is mature and probably a few years older. I think she needs who can be both loud and soft spoken depending on the situation. She needs someone whole make her try new things and maybe even risk taker. She needs someone who can brighten the world just by smiling. That someone is Taehyung. I think he’s very laid back and is the type that goes with the flow. He’s the type who will whisper how much he cares and loves her one minute and be super loud and chaotic the next minute. I think he’s more on the chill side than on the chaotic and loud side which is perfect for lissie. He would be a really kind and loving partner. Even if we met just last month I still have so much love for you. I hope we can get closer as time goes on.

I would like to thank Aleyna for being the reason that I met each and everyone one of your. I will forever be thankful for her.

You guys are always wondering why I flirt so much. How am I not supposed to when I’m surrounded by the most beautiful, loving, kinda, and funny people ever. I can’t help myself I just want to show you all my love.

Okay this took me wayyyyy longer than I thought it would lol. I fell asleep yesterday and just woke up to finish it. I know some of you are very curious about it so I hope you enjoyed this.

Mon Cœur T’appartient

Avec Amour,

Angie 🫀

[grison-in-space]

Man, sometimes I want to challenge dogblr to Find Three Programs You Like when (serious) arguments about what kinds of dogs are good and which kind are awful come up.

For example, I was totally out there kvetching that Clumbers are the worst several months ago--and then I think it was @fjordfolk ? someone posted a working Clumber screenshot from Crufts and I found out that there's this whole British organization breeding Clumbers that actually look like pretty decent dogs. Not my cup of tea, but I can totally get why they might be just exactly what someone else would LOVE. Here's three breeders whose programs I can seriously respect. Are there things I would like them to do differently or better? Sure. But I like all of them. As a bonus, because the British working people appear to rarely advertise their damn dogs online, all three are North American breeders--ie, exactly the people who DON'T have access to that neat organization. (One is essentially in my back yard, even.)

Okay, but Clumbers are kind of a punchline to dog nerds... but not to anyone else, because they're a very uncommon breed, not one that's aimed at a popular audience. What about doodles? If a friend of mine approached me and said, I want a Labradoodle, medium sized to large, to be my rowdy kid's pet and occasional hiking buddy, what would I say? Where would I point them?

I've never bothered looking for a doodle breeder before, so it took me a minute to find the ALAA (that's the Australian Labradoodle Association of America), which has some pretty great metrics for its breeders and an open studbook allowing purebred Poodle, Cocker, and Labrador outcrosses to boot. They require hip and elbow testing at bare minimum and offer special labels for breeders that also do a wide range of other health testing. Here are a few I liked. And honestly I could have looked for a lot longer; I stopped mostly because this is already getting long, but I found a lot of people doing pretty well.

Doing stuff like this lets me get a quick and dirty sense for what kinds of things are actually happening in breed communities I'm not part of. Turns out it's really easy to find a doodle breeder that health tests out the nose, but harder to find one that does formal temperament evaluations; I picked the ones I did because they emphasize CGCs or therapy dog statuses. That strikes me as pretty common for lapdog and companion oriented breeds, though, and it's not like conformation showing is an option in that community. By contrast, the thing I struggled with on Clumbers was not titling--as far as I can tell pretty much everyone breeding Clumber Spaniels is involved with showing and often, at least in the upper Midwest, also hunting--but emphasis on healthy conformation. I saw a few breeders loudly proclaiming that Clumbers are just built loosely so a certain amount of fair hip sockets are okay (??) and more than a few producing dogs with much looser, droopier eyelids than I like to see.

I think as dog nerds, it's very easy to both be negative about dogs we don't like and also to be wary about praising breeders that seem okay, lest someone come in and tell us that our ethics are loose and our morals impaired. Especially for those of us who work in pet care, also, it's easy to see the most problematic dogs and generalize them to entire groups because a) they're the ones causing issues and are therefore memorable, and b) they're probably being owned by people whose animal care is otherwise problematic, and it's easy to imagine that those people would somehow handle things better if they had a different sort of dog. Unfortunately that is not how humans actually work.

But like I said earlier this week, I like cattle dogs. I can tell you immediately where the problems are in my breed, and what I was looking for two years ago when I started seriously looking at breeders. It's scary for a new person to navigate, especially since people are often really wary of publicly praising breeders because the criticisms come flowing thick and fast. But this is a bad way to treat dog fancy and ethical dog production. For one thing, it plays right into the hands of animal rights activists who think that there's no responsible way to breed dogs, and that way lieth there being no dogs at all for anyone. For another, it makes finding breeders inaccessible to the very same new people you want to find better dogs in the first place! So let's try something different. Let's try practicing finding three good programs before we levy criticisms: if nothing else, the exercise of finding those good problems will tell us a lot more about what is really out there than our assumptions, and it will also tell us what voices need to be boosted to help make those spaces better too.

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets Madness: Sammy J and Randy in Bin Night (Comissoin for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy muppety faces and welcome back to Monthly Muppets! My look at all things muppet, from the troupe themselves, to other works by jim henson to the many things inspired by his fine work.

And tonight is bin night as we look at the australian comedy duo of Sammy J and Randy Feltface and their 2012 special Bin Night. I first found out about this duo after Kev had found out about this duo from Lachey V, another long time patron on this blog, and wanted me to cover their show Ricketts Lane, which looks delightfully insane in the vein of british comedies like The Mighty boosh or Snuffbox. Sadly so far we haven't been able to find it anywhere in the us and attempts to rip it off Lachey's dvd's didn't quite work. So while I fully intend to cover Rickett's Lane at some point, for now we're doing Bin Night to still give these boys the spotlight.

The Duo's origin seem simple enough: Randy came from Heath McIvor's long time love of puppetry, having according to wikipedia been practicing since the tender age of 13. McIvor was tasked by a friend to do a show called "what is bullying to you" and needing a third puppet that could be unisex, Randy was born. While the show didn't go off well, McIvor liked the puppet and started performing with him, picking up steam.

He eventually met Sammy J when the two were double billed and they hit it off, soon becoming a double act. Nowadays the two aren't performing together as Randy has moved here to the US and Sammy is still in austrilia doing a show on ABC, but it's clear if the two wanted to get back together they could and it dosen't seem like any big split happened. They simply had other stuff they wanted to do and parted ways. I'm defintely up to look at Randy's solo material eventaully if anyone's intrested

For now we're looking at bin night. Bin Night has a very simple premise: Sammy J and Randy have someone sneaking their bags into their trash bins, and have decide to stake it out. various other nonsense insues including a feast, living shovels, murder, furry cosplay, and trips to machu pichu. You can find out about it all under the cut.

So the setup I mentiond is simple as is the set for this one: i'ts just the duo's yard, their house, and the bin. There's plenty of other props, backup dancers for the feast song, and what have you but it's a scaled down two man show almost entirely focused on these two idiots attempts to make it through the night.

Luckily Sammy J and Randy are strong characters; Sammy J is a tight ass, putting most of his faith in overcomplicated plans that have to go to the letter and annoy randy at how long they take. Randy meanwhile is a bit more loosey goosey and impuslive, the kind of guy who'd gladly sneak into a musuem benifit next to the building he's been peeing on to bum free food.

Sammy J drives most of the plot but it works well. Not only is the contrast of the muppet being the sane one of the two great, but Sammy takes your usual straight man to hilariously up his own ass lengths that lead to Randy barely parsing what he's doing. For instance Sammy J had a security system installed and insists it's state of the art and great.. despite all it's acomplished so far being accusing Randy of being a pedophile due to how the system SHOUTS "alert alert pedophile" for reasons, getting him arrested for trying to get into his own house, and getting him on the sex offenders registry. Not only that you have to close the door JUST RIGHT or your locked out, which naturally happens to our heroes. It's a joke that could easily fall or simply lean on being "lol pedophile".. but just keeps escalting and keeps working due to relatablity: we've seen tons of security system gags and i've had plenty of technology fail and plenty of people assume an overcomplicated system for their house is more resonable than removing it.

The lock out is also bad due to my faviorite gag of the special: the feast. The boys sing an entire song about Sammy J cooking them up a feast. Why he choose feast night to be stakeout night I don't know. And fitting the character he can't even have THAT be simple, forcing Randy to fast for 6 days to properly enjoy it and just.. not admitting he fucked up at any point, preferring to wait on the line to get support instead of I dunno, throwing a rock in his own window. The backup dancers, who get rudely dismissed and the chef's hat are just delightful.

The special has plenty of delightful stage florishes too: they go through their suspect list by having Randy's pupeteer dress up as each one , turning off the lights and using spotlights to simulate a camera flash while Sammy narrates them. My faviorite is the local family man from the family everyone hates whose hobbies include "Cheating on his wife and when not cheating on his wife football, darts and cheating on his wife" We also get extra puppets including a shovel and a pizza box. This show was low budget but you can tell they stretched every dollar they had and it paid off, both being skilled at muppetry. It's an ingenious use of stage and budget.

The pizza box comes about because the two consider odering pizza but Sammy's refusal to bend on waiting on hold sadly scuppers that plan. It does lead to a new one as Sammy, being the draconian howard moonian prick he is, threw away a nut loaf Randy tried to sneak in. Problem is BOTH are hiding things from each other, so they don't want to open it. We also get a great gag on Sammy pointing out on how "father time tops up people's life juice." and how he just says "Well that's it isn't it" when confronted with a good rebuttal.

Naturally the second Sammy J leaves Randy gets in the bin and finds BETRYAl: he'd been waiting to hear back from a woman he liked who was in machu piccu and Sammy J sent the letter away.. then wacks him with a shovel. Then decides wether to bury him or.. dis...dismember the corpse? And he chooses the latter?

Yeah we get full on muppet mutilation here complete with the bloody head of randy feltface. Sammy does capture the bin burglaar but as a ressurected Randy explains (Father time does indeed top off life juice), their kinjdly neighbor was a drug kingpin and he neded the money to get to machu picu. HE was in on the bin stuff this whole time. So the two decide to go to macu picu, Randy to find his lost love, and Sammy because "third wheel?".. and because he'll pay for Randy's passport. They miss her by 45 minutes but they had fun.

As you can probably gather this special was both hard to write about, as it's a fairly simple stage show more reliant on letting gags fly and insane. It seemed pretty mundane at first but just..e sclates as it goes and it's beautiful the whole time. Just about every bit they set up pays off some how. They also make out at one point, so they at least got to the point faster than the mighty boosh ever did.

Sammy J and Randy in Bin Night.. is a lot of fun and I recommend it wholeheardtly. These two comics clearly get how to take the muppet style of nonsense and translate it to adult humor without having ot scream

There's a lot of impressive puppets, fun gags and great character work nestled in this special and it was well worth the hour it took to watch it. You can find the special on youtube if your curious. I only wahnt to dig into MORE of these guys work, both as a duo and riding solo, after this magnificent special: it's fun, breezy and a nice mix of the muppets and the mighty boosh. Check it out if you haven't and check your bins. You never know when people will hide drug money or letters int here.

[harrisonstories]

This is a really sweet story about meeting George Harrison in Belgium in the early 90s, told by a fan on reddit.

I was travelling with friends & we went to Belgium (Bruges) in the early 90s a few times & always stayed at an auberge (small hotel) because it was known to have a lovely bar. Being all of 22ish at the time, we spent a lot of time in the bar (it was beautiful). The Auberge owners (Sabine or Sabina and husband - forget his name) were lovely people and HUGE music fans esp Beatles & Crowded House. They said lots of musicians came to their restaurant/bar. They had some pictures behind the bar. The whole place was full of little white lights.

Anyway, we had many long conversations about the Beatles - best album, best song, strongest songwriting, drum fills, solos, etc; and Crowded House. it was like live Reddit before the internet. Lol.

So one night early, we had dinner there and it is very busy. We sit at the bar. All tables are full and we are talking to the husband about Crowded House. Two men walk up and the husband shakes their hands, says lovely things, offers them drinks/food. They chat for a bit and then the husband calls us over & says "I'd like for you to meet name and George Harrison. (Turns to Harrison) They are big fans." Well my 2 male friends (gay couple) just about died. I got very quiet and smiled a lot but had tears in my eyes the whole time. THEN George Harrison, who talks a lot by the way, asks if we'd like to join them at their table/booth thing. My friends are literally losing their minds though are being cooler at this point. I'm still not talking much & am shaking or have tears in my eyes at random. I don't know if they'd been there the whole time or just got there but I hadn't noticed them and now we sat with them at the back. There was actually some art and a picture of the Beatles on the wall where we sat. It was surreal.

I sat right beside him. He was SO NICE to all of us. He bought my friends drinks though I stuck to water because I was already a bit drunk and didn't want to get moreso. I don't remember him drinking though there was a pot of tea with a shot glass of something beside it. They ate some food. I can't remember his friend's name but another man joined later. No, not Traveling Wilburys - just 2 men - one was British and one was Belgian or French because we spoke French to each other to talk about these Australians (of course) who were trying to barge in on our convo. I don't think they recognized Harrison. It was more that my friends, who they met at the auberge, were sitting with a bunch of old dudes. "gidday mates. Why you sitting here with these geezers?" That kind of thing. Harrison thought this was all hilarious. I remember talking about music and about how he liked Crowded House. We talked about Nirvana as well. He asked me about playing guitar and piano. I choked up at times talking to him and would then talk normally but tears would stream down my face: like my whole being was crying tears of joy but I was carrying on a normal conversation. He handed me his napkin several times and at one point I said "I think my nose is running too. I feel like a giant baby." And he laughed. He said "Yes, you are a wonder." I never ever felt like it was creepy or lewd. He was talking to all of us but I just stared at him. He laughed a lot and talked a lot. This surprised me. He's not quiet at all. I remember laughing a lot because his friends were funny too. There was literally zero Beatles conversation. He was more interested in what we were doing and where we were from. He had lots of lovely things to say about Canada and, more specifically, Canadians. He also loved Australia and one of our Oz friends did join us for a bit. He was wildly entertaining too.

George and his friends packed it in after about an hour and people were lined up to shake his hand on the way out so people obviously knew he was there. Aside from the Australians, everyone seemed local/Belgian. He was lovely as he left, posed for pictures (I'll find them) hugged us all, said it had been a pleasure. I do think he said something warmly about me 'pulling myself together' because I had been basically in tears the whole time🤦🏼. I also remember leaning over to one of my friends earlier in the night and saying his elbow is touching my elbow. HIS ELBOW IS TOUCHING MY ELBOW. and they laughed. We are all still friends though they are no longer a couple. And we still talk about that place in Bruges and the George Harrison night. It was such fun.

His death in 2001 was devastating. It is lovely to see him in Get Back. Lovely. I remember his voice was very warm and very caring. Lovely guy.

EDIT: one of my friends confirmed that it was actually about 3 hours and that I said a total of 2 sentences; which were "Now my nose is running. This is so embarrassing." I swear I said more than that. Geezus. And that we had been told not to ask for an autograph. I don't remember that either.

EDIT2: spoke to my friend in Wales who confirmed that George's friend's name was James. We still can't remember the proprietor's name.

Edit3: I feel I should add that I believe we were introduced because my travel mate/friend, Chris, is an accomplished cellist & musician. He knows a lot of music people still and the proprietor was always talking to him about music & arrangements. I was just 'the cellist's friend.'

These are a couple additions from replies in the comments:

"I honestly don't remember [what George said about Nirvana] but I remember they came up because they were everywhere at the time. I remember him being very positive about everything so I'm sure he said nice things. I remember the male proprietor sat with us for a while. I got the impression they were all friends."

"He really was very, very nice; very patient and very 'warm'. He was really kind. When he talked to Chris about cello, all his attention was on him and he'd say 'That's great, man.' And he meant it. Chris was just beaming and I think he was talking about just passing his conservatory exams and practicing 10 hrs per day like a maniac. I'll ask him."