#brings me a lotta joy :'D

[dragon-spaghetti]

@grovebeast I WILL HAPPILY and I hope ya don't mind me rambling a lil in the process ;^^

First off; the brushes I've mainly been using for the redraws!! Syrup for lineart, studio pen for colouring/shading & extra lighting, pastel blend for most of the gradients, and rosette for the dots I use round the borders. I thiiiiink all of these are brushes already in procreate?? Don't think I downloaded em anywhere

Ok as for studio pen; it's a normal brush by default. Nothing special. So!! I messed w the settings to get the texture!! Top image is how I myself have the settings, I just messed w the hue & saturation (which by default are at 0% I believe). Bottom image I've just turned up the saturation so the difference in colour is easier to see ;^^ I'd suggest full screening to see better

Here's flats for the first redraw I did so you can easier see the texture of the studio pen!!

Ok so as for pastel blend & rosette, they're mostly for adding in 'dimension' (there's a better word but I am blanking) above everything else. Here's a with (first image) and without (second image) of those layers!! Screenshotted the layers list themselves so you can see that most of em I've used pastel blend for in order to build up colours mainly via overlay (O) & multiply (M). Layer 58 specifically is the one I used rosette on, and is also generally an overlay layer ✨

I hope this helped at all!! Sorry it's so long I really enjoy talking about the process lmao. There's nothing to add about the syrup brush though which is why I didn't discuss it; p sure I use the default settings for it and it's just my lineart 🥲

[m34gs]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

Usually I don't do a lot of chain asks like this but today I feel like it 💜 Thanks for the ask, @synobun 💜💜💜

5 things that make me happy:

Spud. Of course my baby is number one on this list. He's been my angel for the past five years and I adore him so much. He's the best kitty ever and I would do anything for him. He's (very literally) the reason I am still alive today. His floof is healing.

My friends/family. I love my friends, and I'm so happy to finally be living within a half-hour of two of my best friends. They're amazing people and I absolutely love them. My siblings mean the world to me and I am so proud of them. They're both younger than me, and seeing all their accomplishments feels me with so much happiness to see how much they've grown. I love them and I want only the best for them. Jumping off of that, I have a set of cousins older than me who act like older sisters and it makes me feel so loved and wanted every time they invite me over or send me messages. I love them so so so much. I even have many online friends who fill me with joy every day! 💜💜💜💜

Writing. I will never stop writing. Maybe one day I'll publish some of my original works, and then maybe one day I'll publish enough that I can work more casual at my current job, because I love my job and the sense of happiness it can give me, but it is so hard some days and I'm still recovering from a fullblown burnout 2 years ago (they say it takes 3-5 years to fully recover, and I'm doing my best to give myself time but it's hard some days). Anyway; I have stories to tell, thoughts and ideas to share, and a whole lotta world-building that I've been dying to get down on paper. I will be writing until I die, guaranteed.

Singing. I sing all the time. I sing in the car, I sing while I cook, I sing while I clean, I sing along to music while I write, and sometimes I just sing while I'm not doing anything. Music makes me happy, and I need to express myself through music. Even if I'm singing a sad song, the catharsis it gives me makes me feel satisfied and content after.

Horror movies. Is anyone surprised at this point? I watch them on my own, with friends, at home, in theatres...I just love them. They're so fun! And deal with such interesting topics. I love the discussion some of them can bring up. (I do not love the discussion of what "should be" allowed in horror. Horror is subjective. Also, if it makes you highly disgusted and/or disturbs you, then it likely *does* belong in horror. Like, name a better genre for that? smh, some people...) I love love love learning about my favourite horror movies too. Like, everything I know that is "extra" or "behind the scenes" on Hellraiser fills me with such joy. I adore the Saw movies. Human Centipede, my beloved. Crimson Peak. Terrifier. Misery. There's just so many I find interesting and enjoy watching! The special effects are so cool; especially the practical effects and makeup. Like, ok ok, sidetrack, but DID YOU KNOW in Misery, the famous hobbling scene? Kathy Bates used a real sledgehammer and swung hard. The legs on the bed? Those were prosthetic legs built to look like James Caan's legs, made out of gelatin, PVC pipe, and a hinge in the ankles. The camera zoomed in completely focused on the hammer and legs, which made the iconic scene. Anyway, I love that tidbit and if you didn't know it before, well now you do :D (source 1; source 2)

[kushami-hime]

What brings you joy and what was the last thing that made you smile?

Also, random, but do you speak or know Japanese? I feel like your pronunciation has been good in wavs and iirc your art has tags in kanji on occasion which is impressive ^_^

Last thing that made me smile was probably a silly little meme or maybe my husband being a goober uwu Hubbie also brings me a lotta joy as does my doggo, he's a good boi (and also lots of memes, they give me strength ✨️)

I. FRICKIN. WISH i knew Japanese 😭😭 It's on my bucket list to learn at least enough to get by if I ever have the chance to visit Japan one day but the fact that they have 3 alphabets fills me with terror 💀 but I've watched so much anime that my weeaboo brain has picked up on pronunciations and certain words that are used for certain things!

As for the Kanji I did do a bit of research on my end cause I wanted a unique way to tag/sign finished art that was very unique to me! :D

[bluegekk0]

I'm a bit new to the fpk au, so i dont know a lot about it yet. But it brings me a lot of joy nonetheless, and i love seeing the little funky feral guy pop up on my dash every so often :)

The concept is fun and the art that follows it is very cute and very well made. I can tell you put a lotta love into the au, and it really pays off!

awhh thank you so much! so happy to hear that!! :D

man, all those kind messages just make me feel even more inspired to continue working on it. i really can't put into words how thankful i am ❤️❤️❤️

[raspberrysmoon]

too late my friend, im stuck in hell now bc of my own actions :D :D yipeeee i forgot post limit was a thing and reblogged that thing 200 times :D

i appreciate it though tbh. ur one of the only people who seems to actually see my 6pm queued board so like. it brings me a lotta joy. but also stop post limiting urself 😭😭😭

[sublimecatgalaxy]

HI LOVE

1) how are you holding up, hon?? Are you good? I hope you’re doing well 🥺❤️

2) Request for blurb night!!

If you’re feeling up to it, I’m thinking a spicy blurb with a WHOLE lotta tension featuring the lovely lovely Elliot, with a best friend!reader using the quotes “are you blushing?” And “here, let me help you”!??? Maybe getting ready for a party?!?? Up to you!! Do whatever you want, take full reign!! :D luv ya!!

HI BABY!!!'

I am holding up okay. Much better since I changed my major. I have a better and different outlook on life now and now I feel I really can prioritize my health and things that bring me joy (like this). HOW ARE YOU???

"Do another spin for me." Elliot orders from the bed, tossing his arms behind his head as he watches me spin in my dress, my hands holding the dress up to my chest as he watches me carefully.

"Is it cute?" I ask nervously, flattening my hands against the tight material as I analyze every little detail in the mirror in front of me. I can see Elliot's eyes trailing over my frame- shamelessly.

"Uh, yeah- sure, cute." He scoffs, his hands rubbing over his face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I whip around, my eyes thinning as I glare at him, waiting for him to make some lame joke.

"I'm saying that it's more than just cute." He rebuts, sliding to the edge of the bed as he reaches his hands out towards me. I step between his legs, allowing him to look over my dress up close and personal, his lip tucking between his teeth. "It's not one of those dance costumes your mom used to dress you in- it's a hooker dress."

"Elliot, take that back!" I shove him playfully and he catches my wrists with his fingers, forcing me to stay close to him.

"It's a compliment?" He offers bashfully with a cringed smile before he cracks a smile, reaching up to cup my jaw, squishing my cheeks between his hands. "Seriously, you look great." He reassures, his typically blood shot eyes clearer than ever as he looks up at me. "Are you blushing?" He gasps but I just push him away once more, ignoring the heat that's rising to my cheeks. He falls back onto the bed dramatically.

"No, I'm fuming cuz you called me a hooker."

"A hot one!"

We continued to get ready in almost complete silence, only Elliot's quiet humming filling the room as I tended to my hair and subtle make up, catching his gaze in the mirror every once in a while.

"Here, let me help you." He offers, stepping up behind me to sweep my hair away from my neck, taking the necklace clasps from me as he clips it behind me. I watch him in the mirror as his eyes linger at the expanse of my exposed back, his tongue sweeping out to wet his lips.

"Is it okay?" I ask carefully, snapping him briefly out of whatever trance I seem to have him under.

"Yeah." He whispers hoarsely before clearing his throat and he takes a hefty step back from me. "Is there a reason you're getting all dressed up for this party? Typically we just smoke a ton of weed and hang in the back." He asks, reaching up to rub nervously at the back of his neck and my head tilts at him.

"You mean is there a who?"

"Yeah." He mutters, all of his cockiness and playfulness gone as he looks back and forth between my eyes, shoving his hands in his pocket as I sway teasingly back and forth.

"Maybe." I draw out, watching his brows lift in shock, his lips parting but no words come out- just silent confusion. "Why? Does it matter?"

"No, not at all." He quickly responds, shifting awkwardly in his spot as his eyes flicker between mine and the floor, a dead give away that he's lying.

"No?" I ask, stepping closer to him with a teasing smile, reaching out to shove his shoulder, trying to break whatever tension that has come between us within the last two minutes.

"What if we just stayed in tonight?" He asks suddenly and I freeze, looking down at my completely done up outfit and I scoff incredulously. That is until he takes a step closer to me, his eyes once again trailing slowly down the front of my frame. My body feels as if it could combust under his heated gaze, knowing there's truly nothing 'friendly' behind his mischievous eyes. "Yeah? Would that be okay with you?" He asks again and I give him a shameless nod, my eyes not leaving his as my breathing seems to catch in my throat and suddenly I'm all too aware at the lack of space between the two of us.

"Then I'm going to need help getting out of this dress." I whisper breathlessly, catching him totally off guard as he stutters a bit, a bright grin taking over his expression moments later.

"It would be my fucking pleasure."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy

@steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee @storytellingwitht @savageneversaw @admiringlove @starlightandfairies

[ohmykazuha]

what i think of when i see my mutuals

ooh this be long tho. under the cut, might be hard to find your name :"D anws love u all, if you're not here it means that we're not that close! sorry! [this is more for my older moots, i'll do one for my newer moots later :-)]

@almondto-fu

warm drinks. my bae. my bestie 4 life. you're a warm blanket and hot chocolate, continuously keeping others warm. you keep me grounded more than anything – when life gets hard. the words that pour out of your mouth bring more comfort to others than anything – you remind me of comfort and reassurance.

@abyssheart

a lighthouse. you point and guide me in the right direction when tunnel vision works too well on me. you read situations well. you also keep me grounded when i float too high. you are logical and down to earth, but you also bring me happiness when i read your messages. you remind me of durability and reliability.

@yeetmeoffjueyunkarst

a cecilia. sweet and simple, your morals are strong. you are there for people when they cannot be there for themselves. you think logically and are quick to offer advice. however, sometimes, it is hard for you to see your own beauty, and may need others to help you (which we would gladly do). you remind me of strength and compassion.

@chichikoi

a pond... or perhaps, a quilt. reflecting others, you are a patchwork quilt of all your experiences, your memories, and more. you are the stitches that hold people together. you are more important and loved than you realise. you remind me of courage and empathy.

@mikachuchu

a candle. the faintest flickers bring hope and joy to those in the dark, similarly to how you help us. you are loved more than anything – but sometimes, it takes a while for others to appreciate you, but deep down, they appreciate you nonetheless. you remind me of unconditional love.

@alberivh

a cup of coffee. everyone likes a certain part of you. be it in the way you carry yourself, or how you interact with others, or your beautiful personality, people love you nonetheless. you brighten up people's day, and i can't go a day without you. you remind me of sunshine and care.

@severedftaes

you remind me of a rose. bold, yet sweet, you are one who brings others joy when they see you. you really mean a lot to others, including me. roses are one of my favourite flowers, after all. you remind me of courage and love.

@3rdgymbros

this is not materialistic, but you remind me of flowy words. words that comfort you when you most need it, words that hug you, reach out to you, and care for you. they seem to know exactly what you need and form and weave their way to comfort you. you are a intricate being. you remind me of comfort and love.

@bookuya

you are a plant. you thrive with emotions and the correct environment, and you spread joy to the people around you. you bring hope in the darkest of times, and sometimes... you may need to look at your own beauty as well. you remind me of strength and courage.

@sincerely-mai

you.. you are a cup of tea. you are my comfort at night, and my thing that keeps me feeling good. you bring me joy and you're a gentle one, continuously bringing good vibes and a sweet spirit here. you are a precious one. you remind me of affection and care.

@noirkkat

you are sunshine. giving others good vibes, as well as positivity, you put a smile on their faces. they love you, and you certainly love them back. i appreciate you a lot. do you know that bright sunshine is one of my favourite weathers? you remind me of positivity and love.

@prawdziwki

a blanket. there for others when they're down, you try your best to spread comfort and offer words of advice when needed. you calm others down but you certainly are the hype to the party as well. good vibes all around. you remind me of care and love.

@yanbub

you remind me of a basil plant. strong, yet sweet, you are... refreshing, to others around you. like a breath of fresh air. you are a wonderful change of pace as well, and others love having you around (including me). you remind me of righteousness and strength.

part 2 coming soon huhu thats a lotta writing

[lornasarts]

Once you get this you have to say 5 things you like about yourself, publicly, and send it to 10 of your favorite followers! (non-negotiable). SPREAD POSITIVITY!!!💓💓💓🥰🥰🥰 Much love!!!🤗😘

(you probably did this already, but that only means you must think of 5 NEW things >:D)

Ahhhh I can’t not answer this again especially from the talented and super amazing @verbo-volant ! Sending all the virtual hugs your way, you deserve it all! 🥰❤️

I love dogs! My god I love dogs 😂

I like my interests. I’m into tech and art a lot plus I adore video games! It’s nice to come home from a stressful day and just play one of my comfort games or hell a new one I’ve been excited to start!

I like where I live! It’s in the country and it’s always such a joy just to walk outside and not hear the rustle and bustle like the city I work in. Just free to go outside and bring the doggo for a walk and clear my mind after a stressful day at work.

I always like learning new things! It may take a whole lotta motivating given I can be quite a lazy person, but if there’s an opportunity to learn something new or something that has caught my interest I always try take some time out to try something new!

I like when I can spend time with myself. I do love meeting people and hanging out but my gosh is it nice to spend time in my own company. It give me time to catch up on some projects I’ve left idle, play some new games, draw, read and even write.

I feel these kinda turned into facts about me but hey what the hell! Look at you you’ve learned even more about this gal lol

[sleepylixie]

Hello! 2020 is coming to a close (phew, finally) and boy, has it been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. No kidding, this year has probably seen some of the worst and best sides of me and I don’t know what to think about it. It hasn’t been the worst year by a mile, but it has been the most difficult to get through. 

In the midst of a stress meltdown on Halloween, I decided to revive my old Tumblr account and revamp it into an SKZ stan account. That, ladies, gentlemen and readers, has been the single best decision I’ve taken for myself. It’s true when they say that Tumblr is where some of the softest, sweetest and kindest people go, because I’ve met so many amazing, insanely talented people over the course of 2 months. I did not think this blog would thrive the way it did, but I am so glad that it is. So yes, appreciation of the sappy kind are in bulk order tonight! 

Hi, I’m Elliana! I run Sleepylixie, an SKZ stan account. Under the cut is a long, long post-  little love letters to everybody that made my days on this dumb blue hellsite warmer and brighter. This is for all of you. :) (There’s one song rec for you below your letter, just for funsies hhhh-)

@decembermoonskz - Iz you’ve been one of the best things Tumblr dropped onto my dashboard. I adore the mutual brain wave moments, the next-level coincidences in this short but extremely sweet friendship ( wolf gang unite) and how we seem to be able to bounce ideas off each other almost too easily. I’m so thankful for the camaraderie we’ve built up in such a short amount of time. Being able to talk to a kindred spirit about the high fantasy disaster that runs it’s course in my head is such a good time, all the time. You’re a beautiful soul, you<3 <Song Rec: I am You - Stray Kids>

@rebecca-noona - I will never regret dropping that borderline screaming ask about More and More needing a sequel and then watching the chaos ensue xD You’re one of the first people I’ve interacted with on Tumblr and honestly, I’m in awe of how strong and steady of a person you are. I’ve been able to talk to you about the stupidest and the most meaningful things and your way of putting the difficult things into simple words has always left me feeling lighter and warmer inside. One day, I will absolutely drop you a casual text telling you that I am in Korea and expect a fanfare welcome xD. Much Love, Wifey <Song Rec: Hell In Heaven- TWICE>

@seraplantery - (Don’t fkin run away sit down and take the love-) Ma’am, I must build a shrine in your name for bribing me to join Katalk (and proceed to not fulfil said bribe) because interacting with you is one of the brightest moments of my day. You’re so easy to talk to, and your vibe is out of the fkin world coz it’s so vibrant and bright and beautiful I LOVE IT. Big Brain queen, you xD  <Song Rec: Spark- Taeyeon>

@mikoto-ica-fics - Hhhhhhhh you’re the first blog I became an anon for and eventually gave up on xD Your presence in Stayblr (and on my dash) has always been a calming and steadfast one- you always gave off the easy, approachable vibes that just made my awkward ass actually strike up conversation with you~ You’re another person that the Katalk chaos groupchat brought me closer to and it’s been a crazy fun time ever since then. Your stories are products of so much flair and thought, I admire your commitment to your tales. To good times and more soon!! <Song Rec: Woman Like Me- Little Mix ft. Nicki Minaj>

@hanflix - Right off the bat, I adore your blog and your writing style. I could go on and on about how much your stories sing to my soul, every word just speaks volumes about the effort and thought that goes into it. You take your craft so seriously and I admire that about you. And you’re so fkin sweet!? Like please?! Stay the same, you! < Song Rec: In & Out  by Red Velvet >

@delicatewerewolfsoul - I love talking to you so much hhhh- I don’t remember who slid into who’s askbox first, but I’m very, very glad one of us did and we started talking afterwards. It’s always a chill and nice time with you, coz, as it turns out, we have a lotta common interests to talk about, say ship games and astronomy xD. I’m the shittiest at keeping conversations going, but I shall strive to interact more coz you’re so fun pls- and you’ve got such a cool aesthetic too!! (The offer for your hand in marriage still stands, I must remind you-) <Song Rec : Flourishing- Chungha>

@aliceu ​ my OG tumblr buddyyyyyyy oh man, I legit can’t login to Tumblr without dropping you a scream text or recieving one from you. We have some insanely similar tastes (in tropes, stans, fic concepts and then some) and just. vibe so easily on that tumblr chatbox that is probably weeping from how much we use it. Thank you for being an unflinching support for my weak moments of writer’s block and proofreading stuff for me and also, thank you for having such similar preferences  to mine that I can send you random headcanons at odd hours knowing it will attack you in the face when you see it :D <Song Rec: I Can’t Stop Me- TWICE>

@blueprint-han  @hhjs @rosieecheeks @choideluxe @meiiyue @n8dlesoupguk @cotccotc @illicit-roses @nightshade-minho ​ @moonbeam-00 ​ @cyecandy ​ @hongism ​ @luminois ​ @mochinnie ​ - Y’all, I adore our interactions, every single one of it. All of you are so fkin talented content creators, I’m in awe of everything y’all put out coz it’s all so insanely good. You guys light up my dashboard, and I wish we talked more and hopefully get to do that soon!!<Song-Rec: Dumb Litty- KARD>

To everybody that follows me, or have interacted with me- Thank you. Thank you for being a part of this blog and enjoying the best moments with me. I hope the New Year brings all of you to a space of joy, love and peace for you and your loved ones. 

Much Love, Elliana. 

[deathfrisbeeinthetardis]

'things you said when you were sick' ryan going: 'you were so weird! like you kept talking about how cold i was and-' shane quipping back: 'cuz i had a fever and your heart is made out of ice'

This was sent to me waaay back in the beginning of March, and now you’re getting a long-ish drabble in time for Shyan week day 6, prompt domesticity :D

To think this was even before 3AM anon came around and people started sending me so many prompts in my mail, ah wild.

if I’m telling the truth

It’s not that Ryan wants Shane to be sick, but it really does not hurt to have an excuse to take care of the big guy once in a while. 

Shane grunts from beside him, grimacing when he tries to sit up from where he lay on the couch.   

“Woah there.” Ryan reaches out to pull him up, “You want some more tea?“ 

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Shane’s voice is scratchy. He rubs a hand down his face, tucking his legs close under the fleece blanket, making an appreciative noise in his throat when Ryan hands him the steaming mug. 

“Ugh, remind me not to get sick again.”

“Oh I did plenty of that.” Ryan smirks, because he really, really did. “‘Shane don’t run in the rain’ I said, ‘you’ll get sick’. Then 20 minutes later the suspect was discovered with a severe case of cold.” Ryan pitches his voice down into his theory voice, and he can’t help the giggle when Shane scrunches up his nose at it. 

As much as he’s glorying in Shane’s misery, it is a nice memory, Shane’s wide-eyed grin as the rain rapidly plastered his hair onto his forehead, long limbs twirling in the downpour, drops painting across the joy that had been in the other man’s gaze, warming Ryan under his umbrella. 

Ryan thinks he’ll store it away, in a deep-down place. 

“You’d think you’ve never seen rain in your life, you were so excited.”

“That’s because LA is a desert that rains never, Ryan, I need my comfort rain-running.”

“Well, you get rid of the fever first, then tell me about your freaky love for rain and how us Californians are soft lilies.”

“You are.” Shane mutters, shifting to brush a kiss into the back of Ryan’s hand when Ryan reaches to feel Shane’s forehead. “Oops, sorry, go, go wash your hands!” Shane calls, nudging at Ryan insistently until he got up, leaving Shane chuckling to himself nestled under the blanket.

After his last dose of medicine Ryan fusses Shane to bed, almost cooing when the taller man curls up under the comforter. Ryan is the one that usually needs comfort, hollow from overexposure on shoots or tossing and turning for days when he gets sick, so it’s kind of nice that he gets to mother his boyfriend a little now. 

He climbs on the bed and tucks the blanket tighter around the two of them, settling down to face Shane. 

“You wake me up if you need anything in the night?”

“Sir yes sir.” Shane salutes him, it’s crooked and there’s way too big of a grin on Shane’s face, it’s so hard to not lean in. That’s what this whole ordeal has robbed him of, Ryan thinks glumly, the careful small touches and caresses that they had always taken for granted. He’s so going to double down once Shane gets better.  

Shane’s looking at him through his down tilted eyes, already sleepy, “You’re a gorgeous pizza.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Ryan murmurs, giving the other man a peck on the nose, but his curiosity nudges him on, “You got any specific kind in mind?”

Shane hums, tucking himself against Ryan’s side through the blanket he’d wrapped around himself, “Definitely deep dish.”

“Oh yeah?” Ryan’s heart skips a beat, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He’s kind of fishing for compliments now, but it doesn’t really matter when he gets to curl up with Shane at his side, “Because that’s your favorite?”

“Cause it’s like home.”

Ryan stares, his breath caught in his throat, because he can’t bring himself to do anything else. Shane says it so easily, voice thick from the fever and sleep. Time stays still around him, the tenor of Shane’s words hanging in the air for seconds, minutes, hours even, Ryan’s not sure. 

The next time he focuses on Shane’s face, the other man’s eyes are already closed, breaths evening out as he drifted away, the huffs of air tinged with barely-there snores. 

Shane looks so young like this, the lines of his face smoothed out in sleep and hair still soft from the shower. Ryan looks at him, then looks some more. He’d never get tired of looking, even before Ryan caved and confessed his heart out, their lives were already tied so close together that Ryan hadn’t been exaggerating when he said Shane’s the person he sees the most for the last four years.

Even Obi likes him now, and that should be a pretty big accomplishment in anyone’s book. 

He knows things could change, how the rapid flow of the devouring internet and humanity itself could rush in and tear everything apart any second. And Ryan’s really not the praying type, but for god’s sake, he hopes they could stay like this through it all. 

He searches Shane’s face, and he’s almost glad that he’s already too far gone.

“I love you.” Ryan whispers, testing the words on his tongue, just to see how they feel. He’s been avoiding them on purpose, Ryan thinks, guilt clenching in his gut. But it’s difficult to face them when the words still hurt, spikes of broken hearts sharp and piercing to the touch. Words that were broken with halfhearted goodbyes and see-yous that should have lasted forever. 

But it feels right here, now. It fits right into the dynamic of the two of them, Ryan and Shane, together.

Ryan thinks he could say it again. 

His eyes prickle, and he smiles in the darkness, pressing a hand against his mouth to muffle the sob that’s trying to form.

“Love you Ry.” Shane murmurs. 

It’s a wonder Ryan managed to fall asleep, but Shane and Obi’s purring combined is a force to be reckoned with. 

He wakes with a fuzzy weight on his chest, and a cursory stretch reveals the kitten had somehow deemed him worthy of a pillow at some point in the night, Obi’s little soft face tucked against Ryan’s chest, his whiskers tickling bare skin. It’s another bright sunny weekend in LA, and as far as Ryan’s concerned it can stay that way forever. 

“Mornin’.” He murmurs, reaching down to scratch behind the little hellion’s ears. 

Obi shoots him a dirty look but accepts the touch, then he pads over to nestle right into the curve of Shane’s neck. The other man wakes in a half start. 

“Wha-” Shane sputters, fluttering hands coming up to investigate the warm scarf that Obi has become, “oh, it’s you.”

“Hey sleepyhead, feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Shane sounds strained, trying to speak without jostling the kitten too much, the animal’s purrs sounding in time with Shane’s voice. “Movement’s out of the question for a bit though.”

“He was sleeping on me all night, you’re on nursing duty now.” Ryan gives Shanes ribs a light poke, delighting in the pained way he tries to shift without actually moving.

“We’ve got a homicide going on here officer, you’re not going to investigate that?” Shane does a rapid-fire series of blinks, maybe there’s also a wink in there, but Ryan really can’t tell, he really hopes Shane isn’t having a stroke. 

Obi’s tail flicks and curls around to rest across Shane’s nose, and the man lets out a strangled sound. 

“That depends,” Ryan grins, tapping his chin, “It just so happens I might suddenly not see anything, you know, cats are such gentle animals.”

“Oh, you’re evil.” 

“I’m not the one that put that characteristic in my sims character,” Ryan reminds him, laughing, “Come on, you think your throat can take waffles?” Shane’s eyes light up. 

“Oh yes please, they are the superior batter food after all.”

“Why you gotta keep shitting on pancakes?”

“Cause it’s fun to see you get all puffy about it.” Now that’s definitely a wink. How the fuck does he have the energy to do all this when he was burning up with a fever just yesterday? Evolution is so not fair. 

“You,” He flounders, “your mom gets puffy. You’re just a sore loser” Ryan huffs, and has to take a leaping jump off the bed when Shane reaches out a hand to swat at him.

“Oh I’m not the one that should be worried about that getting sore.” Shane raises an eyebrow and his eyes go dark. Ryan shivers. 

“Promises promises.”

Shane flails again, but Ryan’s too quick for him, already jumping back with a giggle. And Shane just lays there with an arm and half his torso dangling off the bed, a little ball of orange fur draped across his throat purring like an engine. 

He blinks up at Ryan with that shit-eating grin on his face, and Ryan falls for him a little bit more. 

Ryan busies himself around the kitchen, sliding a cup of tea onto the counter when Shane ambles into the room, rubbing at his eyes. Obi pads over to the corner and starts on his breakfast. 

“You were pretty out of it last night.” Ryan leans back against the sink, sipping at his coffee. 

“I say anything stupid when I was high on cold medicine?”

There’s a twinge in his chest, “Oh I dunno, what counts as stupid?”

“Hmm, a lotta things.” Shane’s palms are wrapped tight around the mug, and it must burn, but his hands clench around it like they need something to hold onto. He meets Ryan’s eyes, “But nothing I regret.”

There’s a slight ringing in his ears. Ryan swallows, pushing down the thoughts that erupt at the words. He cracks a smile, “You sure that’s not because you don’t remember what you’re supposed to regret?”

“Pretty sure.” Shane grins back, but his gaze turns serious again, settling on Ryan with a steady weight. “You said things too.”

Ryan’s breathing is coming short. He wonders idly if there’s a tea that can fix that. Shane can probably find one. “I did.” He hedges. 

“Anything you regret?” Shane’s fingertips are white against the navy blue mug, and there’s a vulnerability in his face that Ryan wants to kiss away.  

It may be a lazy number nine their kitchen clock’s pointing at, but it’s still too early to have this sort of conversation.

But it would eventually come to this point, Ryan thinks. No matter what they can and may do or say in the dark of night under the haze of sleep and liquor, no matter how passionate or desperate or all-encompassing it gets, it will always come down to this, the reckoning in the sobering light of morning. 

And maybe it’s better this way, when the harsh sunlight throws no more shadows to hide, leaving truths bare in trembling hands. 

“Never.” Ryan breathes with what’s left of the air in his lungs, and watches the tension in Shane’s shoulders melt away. 

“Oh thank god.“ 

Shane is even less of the praying type, but the hushed words scrape closer to divine gratitude than Ryan’s ever heard.

Then Shane’s pulling him close between the counters, enveloping him in a hug that shakes slightly with the effort. “Thank God,” Shane says again, breaths hitching against Ryan’s chest. 

Ryan returns the pressure, rubbing small circles between Shane’s shoulders and murmuring I’ve got yous and I knows into his shoulder. 

“Oh look at me, crying on a Saturday morning.” Shane sniffles, pulling back and wiping at his eyes. The sun catches the wet patches trailing down his cheeks and Ryan is dazzled by the light. He brushes at the tears with a hand at the other man’s face.

“I love you, Shane Madej.” He says, loud and clear into the whole damn universe. It sounds nice, and makes Shane’s face light up in the prettiest way. Ryan’s never going to get tired of saying it. “I love you.” He repeats.

Slowly, Shane cups Ryan’s hand with his own, turning his head to brush a kiss to Ryan’s palm. It’s stupidly tender, stuff Ryan’s seen in every romantic movie, and Shane makes it even softer.

 “I love you too.”

Shane’s eyes do the crinkly thing at the corners, and Ryan just wants to kiss this insanely kind and caring of an idiot he’s fallen so completely for. So he does. 

“Wanna hear what other stupid things you said last night?” Ryan teases, breathless when they break apart, and Shane wheezes out a laugh. 

“Yeah? Let’s list my crimes.”

“You were super paranoid about me getting sick,” Ryan says, catching the corner of Shane’s t-shirt and tugging slightly, “You kept talking about how cold I was in your sleep and-”

“That’s cause I had a fever and your heart is made out of ice.”

“Is that why you like me!” Ryan grins, pointing an accusing finger, “I called it you yeti!”

And Ryan relishes in the fact that Shane doesn’t have a comeback to that, because Shane leans in again, and Ryan thinks as their lips meet, that he’ll even be generous enough to not hold it against him. 

Yeah. He definitely won’t. 

[cookidoughlilac]

10 Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by the amazing @lenle-g and honestly thank you!! 🧡 I'm so excited to do this!!! 

1. Favourite fictional character and why they’re special to you!!! Oh gosh, I have so many! So I’m gonna name a few because they are special to meeeeee! Captain Ridley O’Bannon - female space captain, I wanna be her and I wanna date her Asmodeus - he’s so into self-care that he literally inspired me to look after myself more  Rosalina - I was like... 8 - 10 when my family got super mario galaxy and I was in love with young Rosalina, to the point where I had a teeny tiny frame of her. I guess I was always a lil gay, even before I realised!

2. What was your most memorable birthday everrrrrrr? Definitely my 14th birthday where my friends planned a doctor who surprise party for me. Dad took me out of the house for a few hours, and when I came back mum told me to change into a new doctor who tshirt, and then clean the dining room as I was going to hold my party in there. I changed into the tshirt, and when I opened the dining room door, all my friends turned in slow motion to look at me. I was so surprised to see them, but it was the best thing.

3. If you were a SUPER COOL dragon, what would your hoarde be full of?!? I’d be the type of dragon who’d insist on having a lot of comfy things around. I’m talking blankets, pillows, cuddly toys, all of that! I’d also have a bunch of consoles lying around so you could get cosy and play all your favourite games, or watch your favourite shows/movies. I can imagine some princesses would not mind being kidnapped from me if it meant escaping royal duty for a while!

4. If you were going to be given a massIVE super cute bunch of flowers, what kind of flowers would you want them to be!!! Sunflowers would be the best in a bunch! They’re so bright and always bring a smile to my face! But any flower would be lovely in a bunch, as long as they aren’t harmful to my cats!

5. Favourite artist? On the internet or for a game or in a gallery, I don’t mind, art is art! This is so open a question!! Nothing like a challenge though >:D A few of the online artists I really love are... @otromeru @shokujin-shot @gagakumadraws @obaby-obeyme @boxbusiness @lenle-g (you are getting a lotta tags in this 😇) @smallroars1 and I think that’s it at the moment?? I think I missed so many though...

Paintings in galleries are different, because I like more historic paintings that were commissioned. Paintings like The Execution of Lady Jane Grey catch my attention, but I also love paintings of various queens during the Tudor period. I also really like The Family of Henry VIII. 

Lastlyyyyyy, if we’re talking about game art, literally anything from the To The Moon series. It’s my favourite game series, and the narrative of each story actually brings tears. As well as the music... when you put it all together, you cry. A lot. Because of how perfect it is.

6. Favourite fanfiction eveR! (a BIG ASK I know) Oh Oh no There’s so many amazing fics I’ve read  I guess it depends on the mood I’m in, determining a favourite However if we’re talking fics I’ve written then I’m dead proud of my Obey Me fics

7. Describe a super happy moment to me! I’d love to know!!! I can offer two extremely special moments from last year!!

First was the Microsoft Build conference I attended in May 2019. I was told not even a full week before Dad and I were due to fly out to Seattle. The conference was a week before my A-Level exams were due to start but oh boy it was the best! I met some amazing people and learnt some crazy cool things!

Second was when I flew up to see Misha for the first time!! We matched our clothes pretty much the entire time I was up there - from our Star Trek gear the first day, to a Nessie tshirt Misha bought us the second, and then our Thunderbird tshirts the third day! It was the bet experience and I cannot wait until she gets to come down so we can do more amazing things together!! Honestly that experience was precious!

8. Do you have any ideal places, anywhere in the world, that you would just LOVE to go on an ADVENTUREEE? Oh gosh, I’d love to explore Japan! I’m so intrigued by the culture and the food! But I also would always love to go back to the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida. I’ve been there twice but it’s always magical to go and see real rockets!! and touch real moon rocks!! and walk under Saturn V!!! 

9. If your friends could do one super lovely thing for you, what would you most like it to be? LET ME LOVE THEMMMM Honestly though, being able to make memories with my friends is enough. I love them all so much

10. What’s the most precious, special ‘THIS SPARKS JOY’ thing you own? My Nana has been making blankets and pillows for my birthdays for years, and I treasure them so much! One day I plan on actually getting to grips with sowing to make one for her! 

Here are my questions I’d love to see @samantha-tvandmovies @kenirubes and @lenle-g do if you all want to! 

1. Which hobby would you love to get into, but haven’t yet?

2. Describe your dream date (could be with a partner, with friends - it’s up to you!)

3. What type of flower would you be and why?

4. What song never fails to get you singing and dancing along?

5. What was your favourite story to read/be read to you when you were little? Do you like like it now??

6. What’s your all-time favourite photo? Is there a story behind it?

7. Are there any languages you’d like to learn? (coding languages included because I’m a neeeerd haha)

8. You’re allowed to choose any enclosure at a zoo/aquarium to look after. Which do you choose an why?

9. Who always makes you smile?

10. Which era(s) or history would you want to visit and why? Is it for the food? The people?? The clothes?? Something else?? I’m curious! :D

[franklyshipping]

Day 17 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

DAY NUMBER 17 YOWZAH THIS IS GOING QUICKLY! LET'S GET INTO SOME NATURE AND WILDLIFE WOOO LET'S DO IT!

TAGGING: @kingoflesquirrel and @king-of-lee-squirrels

One particular thing about this season is the strong aspect of togetherness that it inspires, it brings people together, enhances the very subtlest of connections between people in the best way. It makes people aware of other people that they might not have been aware of before, and Angus for one was very aware now of just how many egos….existed. From robots to strange entities to reality benders, they really were a wild ensemble, and Angus had decided to get a list of everybody so he could remember who was who. He had met everyone so far….except one, and it was the one he was most curious about too. The King of the Squirrels. The thought of there being an ego who resided outdoors within nature almost constantly just excited Angus beyond belief, and the royal guy seriously sounded like someone Angus could vibe with.

So, Angus was trekking through the woodland behind the ego household, searching for the illustrious monarch whilst enjoying the scenery at the same time. There were so many conifers and oaks and pines that Angus was just captivated, nature just held a really special place in his heart. He smiled and hummed a soft tune, enjoying seeing his breath in the cold air as he just enjoyed himself….but he was being watched. Rather than the King being in his counting house, this King was in his treehouse, observing Angus curiously and with a happy smile; he always got excited when people actually sought him out. King watched as Angus sopped for a moment to re-tie one of his shoelaces, and so the monarch whispered to one of his squirrel subjects.

‘Go and say hello to him, see what he’s like.’

The little red squirrel squeaked excitedly, and scampered down the tree, eager to complete the task. Angus had just been about to wander on, when a small rustling nearby caught his attention. He turned, and smiled with delight as he saw a reddish-auburn squirrel a few feet away from him, lookin at him whilst standing on its hind legs. It looked so adorable.

‘Hey, hi there buddy….’

Angus eagerly sat down and beckoned the squirrel closer, and he felt excitement building in his tummy as the cute creature started to tentatively approach. It took a few minutes, but soon the squirrel was right in front of Angus, close enough to touch, and had let out a soft squeak as it cocked its head up at him. Angus giggled and cocked his head in return.

‘Nice to meet’cha, the name’s Angus.’

As Angus and the squirrel interacted, King smiled, he could immediately see how sweet the man was and that he could be trusted. Also, the monarch thought his heart was going to melt as he watched Angus pet his subject and coo.

‘Ahaaww, you’re such a cutie patootie!’

At receiving the affection, the squirrel immediately started trying to play with Angus, and burst out into a plethora of happy squeaks when Angus scooped them up and gave them even more love; Angus was in heaven right now, he was in the forest with a cute creature in his arms, what more could he want?

‘You’re a playful one aren’tcha?’

Angus grinned and giggled with joy as the squirrel proceeded to scamper up his arm and onto his shoulders cutely….but Angus let out a squeak. It seemed that the squirrel’s bushy tail had accidentally brushed against one of his ears.

‘EEP! Cahareful wihith the tail buddy, I’m aha lil ticklish.’

Angus admitted with a giggle and a smile….and the squirrel froze. King froze too….before smirking. This was too perfect. The monarch giggled to the rest of his observing subjects.

‘I think we should give our new friend a proper royal greeting, go get him!’

The King nibbled his lip with gleaming eyes as tens of squirrels scuttled down from their perches excitedly, and King had to repress excited giggles as he saw Angus’ eyes widen. The hunter gulped. That was A LOT of squirrels.

‘Heh…you uh….you’ve g-got a lotta friends….’

Angus stuttered to the squirrel on his shoulder, a little nervous at seeing this whole group of them, and did feel a tad apprehensive as he wondered what they were going to do. However, the hunter’s nerves were calmed when his perching squirrel nuzzled his cheek with a soft squeak, and somehow the hunter knew it meant that they weren’t going to cause him harm. Angus watched with wary eyes as grey and red squirrels of all different sizes slowly approached him…before pouncing. There was nothing he could do as they pinned him down by snuggling his limbs, and before Angus knew it there was a whole host of bushy tails brushing and tickling behind his ears.

‘H-Hehehey quihit ihihit! L-Lehehet mehe gohohoho!’

Angus spluttered and giggled as he tossed his head from side to side, flustered at his predicament. He was only now just realising a few things: first off, these squirrels understood what the word ticklish meant, and second….they were about to tickle torture him. The observing monarch meanwhile grinned fondly as his subjects chattered and squeaked excitedly, they loved playing with ticklish people.

‘S-Stahahappihit ohoho my gahahad! Thahahat tihihihickles!’

Angus was giggling his head off and had his eyes squeezed shut as fluttering tails and nuzzling faces accosted his sensitive ears, whilst the smiling monarch whispered to himself.

‘Goodness me you’re a cute one….’

King found all of the egos cute of course, but this Angus just seemed to surpass the realms of adorableness, with all his giggling and futile squirming on the forest floor. Angus tried to struggle, but all he could really do was beg.

‘D-Dohohohon’t doho thihis to mehehe!’

Of course, the squirrels didn’t heed him, they thought his ticklishness and his reactions were just so adorable, and they wanted more. The squeaking mini-mammals chattered to each other, before moving away from Angus’ neck and scampering to his torso so they could sneak underneath Angus’ jumper. Angus was wide-eyed as he watched them, panting and tittering in nervous anticipation as he watched them disappear.

‘H-Hey c’mon where ahare you goi-EEEE NAHAT MY RIHIBS OHO MY GAHAD!’

Angus squealed and giggled hysterically, throwing his head back as he felt furry faces nuzzling into his ribcage mercilessly and making sure they tickled every inch of it. Angus could only wail in flustered, bewildered anguish amidst the tickling.

‘WHOHO THE HEHELL TAHAUGHT YOHOU GUHUYS TO TIHIHICKLE?!’

Angus tried to thrash as the nuzzling continued amidst his cry, which made King chuckle and whisper under his breath with gleaming eyes.

‘That would be me, my ticklish little Angus…’

King rested his chin on his hand happily as he watched his subjects work their tickly magic, feeling monumentally proud of them. King wasn’t just the King of the Squirrels, but he was also King of the Tickles. Angus was squealing almost constantly now as the squirrels focused their nuzzling in the gaps between his ribs, which as you can probably tell tickled Angus magnificently.

‘AAHHHAHAHA NAHAT THE GAHAPS DAHARNIHIT OHOMYGAHAD YOHOU’RE KIHILLIN’ MEHEHE!!’

Angus cried as he arched his back, making King giggle at how dramatic and wild his reactions were, he was too cute. Angus’ face was bright red as the whole thing embarrassed the hell out of him, since he was still in disbelief that this was happening to him; plus, he was running out of energy fast.

'PLEHEHEEEEASE!!’

King smiled and let out a high pitched whistle that carried across the wind, which only his subjects could hear, and it spurred the squirrels to relent on the tickle torture. Angus was left gasping and panting, grateful for what he thought was merely a spontaneous break.

‘Ohohohh….oho thahank gohod….’

Angus sniffled with a bright smile as he caught his breath, and he also started letting out soft hums as he felt soft bodies snuggle into his sides and ribs in a non-tickly fashion. Angus let his eyes flutter shut as he lazily giggled, not even feeling cold in the wintery air since he was so hot from all the tickly exertion. Angus grinned as he thought back to his initial reason for even coming into the forest, and snickered in an off-handed manner.

‘Y-Yohohou guys wait till I-Ihi tehell yohour King on yohou….’

In his perch, King had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from bursting into loud laughter, oh if only Angus knew that the King would be the last person to reprimand his subjects over this. King hummed, and decided that Angus had recovered pretty well, but the monarch didn’t want him completely tickle tortured….so he let the wind carry a low whistle from him to his subjects. Angus’ eyes widened as he felt the creatures start to move about under his jumper again, and he squeaked with a panic since he thought they were responding to his playful threat.

‘N-Noho wahait I-I didn’t mean it I didn’t I-ohoho my g-g-gohohoood….’

Angus gasped. He’d been expecting tickle torture, but what he got was a different kind of torture. The man was giggling and weakly whining as he became caught between ticklishness, and melting sensations. The squirrels had started softly playing with the man’s tummy, which was Angus’ favourite place to receive attention; it was tickly and soothing and ever so confusing.

‘N-Nohohohot my tuhuhummyyyy ohohoh frihihihick….’

King giggled fondly at his reactions and purred and under his breath.

'Oh yes your tummy, you adorable little thing….’

Angus’ eyes shut once more as he weakly struggled, purring deeply and giggling his heart out from the soft tickle treatment. All the while, the squirrels were squeaking and purring with him because they too adored his reactions; Angus was just a precious mess.

‘P-Pleheheeeease ohoho plehease mehehercyyy….’

Angus just felt completely overcome by the tickles, like he’d been wrapped in a tickly weighted blanket, and he couldn’t stop smiling, His smile was so bright and happy, and his blue eyes just seemed to gleam with his flustered joy as his stammers bubbled from his lips.

‘Ohohoho n-nohoho mohohore….’

King cocked his head at the cutely wriggling man, before letting out his softest whistle yet that then spurred his subjects to truly have mercy on Angus and release him from their snuggly hold. The man immediately hid his face in his hands and curled up into a giddy giggly ball whilst all the squirrels softly squeaked and nestled close to him.

‘Ohoho my ….jeheheheezums…’

Angus panted, his breath visible as little clouds coming from his lips, his burning blush very nearly melting the frost on the ground beneath him as he rubbed away the tingles his nerves had accumulated. King smirked and straightened his crown, deciding that a more formal introduction was in order. He came down from his perch and approached the curled up man, and Angus found himself looking up curiously when he felt someone leaning over him.

‘I’m King of the Squirrels, but you can call me King. Are you ah, alright?’

Angus gasped with happy shock when he saw that it was the King himself, and he looked exactly as others had described! So regal and smart, with his iconic beard made from peanut butter. The monarch wore a smirky smile as he offered Angus a hand up, and the hunter blushed as he accepted….and had a niggly thought in the back of his head that perhaps the tickling hadn’t gone unobserved.

‘Ihi’m Ahangus, apparently I’m the nehew tickle toy of the squirrels.’

Angus remarked with an embarrassed grin, making King snicker playfully as he looked the man up and down; he was even cuter up close.

‘So I see, looks like they’ve taken a shine to you…’

Angus softly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully as he suddenly realised that the squirrels were bouncing around him, filled with cute excitement. Angus giggled when they bonked into his legs, twirling and squeaking, and King took a few moments to admire how Angus’ face lit up at seeing how much they liked him. The monarch interjected however when he saw the hunter start to shiver, the heat from all his built up adrenaline was now wearing off.

‘Hey ah, would you like to warm up in my palace?’

Angus looked to the monarch curiously, but soon laughed when he looked to where King pointed and saw his rather large treehouse up in the forest’s canopy.

‘Hell yeah.’

Thus, up to the royal palace they went, where Angus was pleasantly surprised to find electricity, steaming hot cocoa….and the most snuggles he’d ever had (from squirrels) in his entire life. The again though, with his love for nature, it was time that nature showed him that it loved him back.

WOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS ONE LEMME KNOW IF YA DO WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[dviciousbikefemme]

reflecting on what the heck I’m about to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon

Hi, I’m Danielle. Or you can call me D. Originally from Louisville, KY metropolitan area I became a bicycle commuter when the last car I owned broke down in 2014. A year after graduating college, in August 2016, I moved to Seattle, WA for a fresh start and new perspective. It is there where I found my love for bicycle touring. 

So many paths and choices I have made brought me here today. I am now less than 2 weeks out from embarking on a 3.5 month long bicycle tour across the United States. I will begin in San Diego, CA and end in Holden Beach, NC. In mid-June, my mom, siblings and other family members will be in NC, vacationing. That’s determined the final destination. This was originally planned as a solo trip. Since the idea sparked, friends have toyed with plans of riding small stretches with me along the way. My 19 year old brother even considered meeting up with me and riding. I don’t know who will be making it out at this point, but I do know that my sweet, tender-loving partner has decided to join me on this adventure. He is fairly new to cycling, but rarely a complainer. I’m so enthralled with this idea of leading him across the country in a way that makes me feel empowered and free. I can only hope he is overcome by the same amount of joy and wander that cycling brings to me.  

There are countless amounts of people that have come and gone and remained in my life-- who’ve influenced and supported me along the way. My gratitude is immeasurable. It brings me to tears to think about the last few years here in WA-- highs and lows, alike. Washington has become home. Washington blossomed the love affairs that are with the Earth and with myself. I’ve been stirred in ways I’ve never felt before. Moving away from my home of origin, for the first time in my life at age 25, was incredibly crucial for self-discovery, conscious growth and healing. The flood of emotions I get when reflecting on even the last 5 years of my life are complicated and messy and full of a whole lotta not knowing what the heck I’m doing. I’m only better for it. This process is a lifetime and I am actively seeking more self-worth, love and empowerment. I have the privilege to move about in this world with a mobile, white and cis-gendered body. I acknowledge and I am thankful for the economic privilege I have to do this trip. As a service industry worker, it is truly great that my job allowed me to pay on my student loans, pay rent and save for this tour. Riding a bicycle has been vital to all of the things I am learning about myself. The challenges that come with touring have boosted my confidence exponentially! Bikes hold a special space where I’ve allowed both failure and resilience to take place. I hope you enjoy this roller coaster (or bike ride) of EMOTIONS..

I just wanna say~~~I am using this blog as a diary of sorts AS WELL AS a fun way for you to follow me across the country.  I am practicing vulnerability, as it’s never been my strong suite. It is something I am consciously working on and I am taking baby steps. You will certainly be reading information and viewing photos of art and the landscape I encounter BUT you’ll also have the option to witness a lot of feelings.  I don’t think I have the most organized brain. I want to thank you ahead of time for sitting through the scattered thoughts and streams of consciousness. Maybe by the end of this trip I will learn to make my posts a lil neater. <3 

[nctacommittee-archive]

Hold on, did I just see JENNIFER CONNELLY?! No, sorry, that was actually LEIA ORGANA, but they can get that a lot! You might know HER as a CANON from STAR WARS. They are FORTY years old and have been living in Los Angeles for 1 YEAR, and DO remember their old life up until HER DEATH. Here in the city of dreams, they are a  POLICE CAPTAIN and when one thinks of them, they think of WHITE DRESSES, BRAIDED UP DOS, THE REBEL ALLIANCE SYMBOL, and A BLASTER I guess you never know who you’ll run into in Los Angeles!

BELOW THE CUT CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE NEW TRILOGY SO IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THEM, PROCEED WITH CAUTION

She is a police captain because she is a badass like that. The other officers in her precinct have a lot of respect for her but also at the same time keep their wits about them because no one wants to get on her bad side.

All of her canon memories are included. She remembers everything, including her death. I am going to play it as she has been resurrected as a younger version of herself but still remembers it all as if it never happened

She is strong in the force and has gotten a better grip on her abilities over the years despite she still doubts them but does her best to help those who are force strong embrace their abilities because that is what Luke would have wanted.

She is still sad over the death of both Han and Luke it has left a significant impact on her life. 

She is a strong, natural leader who can handle any given situation, everyone that knows her knows not to underestimate her.

I am also strictly using MOVIE CANON ONLY material for her. I love my Star Wars but I never got into the TV series and the books I have read Disney decided to not make canon anymore so there is a whole lotta history that can be played with from ROTJ to the timeline of TFA that I am willing to fill and work with anyone that is wanting to fill the history, let me know!

I think that is about it. If I remember anything else  I need to include I will add it but most that are reading this probably know her canon history, yes? Yes :D but I am very excited to be here and that I am getting the chance to write her. I appreciate all of the plots she has so far so never hesitate to reach out, I am very ooc friendly and don’t have triggers so I  am open to pretty much anything. DO NOT BE SHY TO THROW PLOT IDEAS AT ME! Especially if you’re a Star Wars fan. I am more than happy to talk Star Wars with anyone it brings me so much joy. 

[thestupidhelmet]

Currently rewatching the show and to me it seems like Jackie is the one who changes the most to fit in the gang you know? She takes a job for Kelso, gives up gifts for Hyde, quits cheerleading and goes to Vanstock even if grosses her out. Out of everyone in the gang she seems the one to change herself so she feels accepted. What do you think about this? Honestly you are one of the few people who characterizes correctly and I love reading your metas, so I would love to hear your thoughts!!!

Hi! Thank you for your lovely comments. I’m glad you enjoy my metas! :D

Jackie does change quite a bit throughout the series, but I think those changes are due to her own desires and/or growth, not out of a need to fit in with Kelso’s group of friends – which is who Donna, Eric, Hyde, and Fez are to her at the beginning of That ‘70s Show.

Jackie and Kelso have been dating only two weeks by the time of “That ‘70s Pilot” (1x01), according to a scene I believe was deleted from the episode but exists in the British adaptation Days Like These. She hasn’t met Fez yet before the pilot. She’s also drawn to the only girl in the group, Donna, and tries to befriend her.

In the pilot, Hyde also asks Kelso how much longer they’ll have to “deal with the whole Jackie Experience?. And in the Vista Cruiser, during the Rundgren concert neither of them can attend, Jackie says their relationship isn’t working and that they should break up. All of this indicates Kelso and Jackie’s relationship is relatively new. 

That being said, Jackie doesn’t change her behavior in season 1 to fit into the group. She expects (however subconsciously) the group to adapt to her. She forces Hyde et al. to listen to Frampton’s “Do You Feel Like We Do” repeatedly in the basement, and Hyde is fed up enough to tell her to put on the headphones and say, under his breath, “Now wrap the cord around your neck.” She doesn’t consider or ask what anyone else might want to listen to. She just keeps restarting the song.

She pesters Eric to say the Fonz can beat up Bruce Lee. She also treats him like a waiter, expecting him to bring her the type of soda she wants when the house doesn’t have it. Instead of thanking him for bringing her a soda at all, she says, “I told you my top three choices were Tab, Fresca, or Diet Rite.”

Eric: Again, you get Piggly Wiggly Diet Creme Soda.

Jackie: Then I’ll just have water.

Donna is annoyed by then and suggests she drink from a hose in the backyard.

In season 2, Jackie actually wants to go to Vanstock to “surprise Michael”. She clearly thinks they’ll have fun together. Donna tries to dissuade her from going because she’s afraid Jackie will discover that Kelso is cheating with Laurie.

She gets a job in season four because her dad cuts her off financially for dating Kelso again. She tells Kelso to get a job, but she decides to get one herself, too, because she “choose[s] love!” but also enjoys being rich / having money. Kelso doesn’t demand that she get a job. It’s the other way around.

Jackie’s relationship with Hyde does influence her significantly. Jackie is taught by her dad, through his behavior, that gifts equal love. Hyde tries to dissuade of this belief by treating her with respect (when he’s written correctly) and showing her love by being present with her and loving. He shaves off his beard to cheer her up about her dad’s imprisonment. He buys her what he can afford, like a cheeseburger wrapped in tinfoil, and they have conversations and debates about their differing points of view about a variety of subjects.

What we see on screen of their relationship barely scratches the surface. We get hints of their off-screen interactions, like in “Hot Dog” (5x07) when Hyde is frustrated that Jackie still believes that “buying nice things will make somebody love them”. They both hold their ground (and POV) throughout the episode, but by the end they reach a compromise and “lower their standards” for each another. He’s learns that buying Jackie a gift doesn’t have to reinforce what her dad taught her, and she learns that the act of giving a gift isn’t necessarily what counts but the fact Hyde is willing to stretch outside his POV to give her a little joy.

By “Whole Lotta Love” (5x16), she and Hyde have a lot more interactions (many we aren’t privy to). But she’s clearly begun to experience love from Hyde through love, not presents. So she wants to show him that she’s learning this by not making a big deal about her birthday. He’s not happy that she hasn’t told him about her birthday (although, quite frankly, he should’ve known what day it was – considering she probably made a huge deal about it the year before, and he has a scary-good memory despite all his pot use).

He likely believes Jackie’s gone from one extreme to the other, and he wants her to be – and make her – happy. He understands that celebrating a person’s birthday is about celebrating the person. In “Kitty’s Birthday (That’s Today?!”) (3x17), he’s the first person who give Kitty a birthday present. He also gives Red a present in “Red’s Birthday” (2x10). So gives Jackie a gift that that essentially affirms his commitment to her and love for her. It’s not shiny. It’s personal and meaningful.

By giving her his favorite Led Zeppelin shirt, he’s telling her that he plans on being with her for the long haul. If that weren’t his intention, then giving her that shirt would be like throwing it away. 

Through her relationship with Hyde (when written well and consistently), Jackie learns that love can look and feel a whole lot different than her parents and Kelso showed her. This inspires her to grow and change. Hyde experiences the same through his relationship with her (see “Misty Mountain Hop” [5x12]) for a prime example. 

Quitting the cheer squad signals a huge internal change for Jackie. Through her friendship with Donna, her relationship with Hyde, witnessing Eric/Donna and Kitty/Red’s relationships, and essentially losing both her parents, she no longer wants to exist in the disloyal, cutthroat environment of the cheer squad. (I explore this shift thoroughly in my story One Difference:Jackie and Hyde Don’t Kiss [Over the Summer] [FFnet / AO3]). She doesn’t do this to please Hyde. On the contrary, Hyde tries to help (when he’s not being a bit of an ass) her get back on the cheer squad.

During seasons 1-6, Jackie gets a lot of development. Not all of it is good, but much of it does deepen and grow her character. In comparison, the other characters – save, perhaps, Hyde – don’t get as much development, or their development is walked back … or their characters are devolved / partially Flanderized.

Despite that Jackie doesn’t change to try to fit in with the group, she does try to prove to Hyde in “Moon Over Point Place” (2x26) that she’s “cool enough to hang out with” him. But, generally, she acts like herself toward him during her pursuit of his friendship then love in seasons 2 and 3, proclaiming they’ll be roller-disco partners and ignoring his repeated nos to her in order to satisfy her own desires (i.e. a relationship with him). See Jackie Burkhart and Steven Hyde: Loser and Dirtbag? for more analysis of this storyline.

One can also interpret her behavior in “The Trials of Michael Kelso” (3x18) as dumbing herself down so that Kelso won’t feel intimidated by her intelligence. I doubt that was the writers’ intention; rather, they began turning her into a cliche beauty-without-brains stereotype. But examining that scene within the context of the series before “The Trials of Michael Kelso”  – especially season 1, where she gets As on her essays and does homework on Saturday nights – one can reasonably argue she’s pretending to be less smart than she actually is.

So, with two very specific exceptions, I don’t believe Jackie changes herself to fit in with the group. Being in the group, however, does inspire and influence her to change.

[skip-to-my-lup]

I listen to taz with my little brother so now whenever he wants to spend time with me he asks if we can listen together and cuddles with me so that brings me a lotta joy :D

That’s so sweet!