#bring back the templars
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" They go [to war] in silence. Their first attack is the most terrible. In going they are the first, in returning the last".
- Description of the Templars. Unknown pilgrim, 1187.
#templars#crusades#reconquista#europe#tradition#knights#war#sarracens#muslims#traditionalism#Saladin#Molay#the order of the temple#bring back the templars
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concept of Temp based on the newest halloween collection
and boyfriends!!!
they have matching rings because they are MARRIED!!!
#besides the lines being to thick I think he kinda lacks dark elements in his fit to match the vibe the ogs have#but I love him#I felt like I was making a gacha edit while drawing this#I had to shade hair with air brush. truly brings back memories#I need to draw halloween teutemp#hws Knights Templar#hetalia Knights Templar#aph knights templar#teutemp#hetalia knights templar#hetalia#hws knights templar#hetalia world stars#hetalia axis powers#hetaween
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DATV Mini-Rant about the lack of Lyrium Potions in this Game
A small thing that immediately made my stomach drop when playing DATV was the fact that there are no lyrium potions.
I did an elective on game design in university and chose Origins as my game of choice for my final essay because I always loved how much the game incorporated the world/lore in its game mechanics! Call it pathetic or sad (I won't blame you lmao) but this series was the first video game that engaged me so deeply with its story-telling that I wanted to dissect it. That's why I'm focusing on the lack of magical cocaine in a fantasy game series.
Lyrium is a substance that serves as a game mechanic and a major lore/world-building element. It's use is essential if you play the game as a mage or have party members that are mages - it replenishes mana in game, its use is central to being a mage within the story (harrowing, rituals, etc...), and it's a major export/plot relevant resource that is important to the world at large.
So imagine my surprise when I boot up DATV for the first time and there's no lyrium potions as a mage character. My main interest in the game series was for its lore and story (RIP) so I didn't look too hard into developer interviews or videos about the combat itself - it would either be good or bad, but that wasn't my main draw to the game. I kept playing, wondering if I would ever unlock another slot for potions, perhaps, but then it was abundantly clear that it wasn't the case.
It's a small thing, but popping a lyrium potion mid-combat has the same effect that hearing people say 'Maker's breath' and 'Thank the Maker' does. It's this little bit of world-building that reminds me that I'm playing a Dragon Age game. It's not just a 'mana potion' or some other glowy blue magic vial...it's this substance that's important to the world and that has a reason to be there beyond rejuvenating my mage.
It's the major export of Orzammar -> the pillar of its economy.
It's the substance that allows waking mages to enter the Fade -> it allowed me to save Connor Guerrin with the aid of other mages.
It's the substance that the Chantry uses to leash it's templars through addiction -> an addiction I encouraged Cullen to overcome in DAI.
It's the substance used in the Rite of TRANQUILITY.
It's the substance that allows my warrior character to take on the templar specialization in each game -> Alistair and Ser both talk about lyrium and its relevance to training (in DA2 you just do it lmao)
It's the substance burned into Fenris's skin by Danarius.
It's the literal blood of the Titans -> lyrium veins are literal veins (such a cool design choice in DAI to make them look like blood capillaries!)
And all the time in DAO, DA2, and DAI my mage characters were downing this substance like there was no tomorrow.
Even though the combat changed in DA2 and DAI they still kept lyrium potions for mages. Even though they simplified herbalism from DAO in the next two games, they still required the player to interact with the world and find the ingredients for these potions. It was this gameplay mechanic that linked the player to the world -> I know that I need blood lotus to set shit on fire, elfroot for healing potions/lyrium potions, etc... It was cool game design, having game mechanics and lore interconnected like this.
(Not saying that picking up dozens of elfroots was fun or the best game design, btw -> but it's just an example of how they linked the world and game mechanics together, and I like the intent behind it! Cool design does not equal effective design lmao)
What do we get in DATV? No lyrium, whatsoever, just healing potions.
Potions we don't even have to work to find or get crafted! Just break some green shit and there it is! We don't pick up ingredients or discover unique flora to each of these Northern Areas for our own use. We don't loot potions or ingredients from corpses, sacks, boxes, chests (etc...) to replenish our own stock. A healing potion in this game is not a potion you craft, made from ingredients you found, it's a button I press on my controller. It's lost that immersive link - especially when your companions can toss another one at you while being effectively immortal in combat.
The only new flora we hear of is Broma's Bloom which I did like the lore behind! It's used in dye to colour the Warden's armour and its growth is a sign that the damage of the Blight is lessening. I love that! That's a cool bit of lore! Especially since it's named after Andraste's mother in a land that is supposed to be extremely religious. Geographically unique flora and fauna (biodiversity) is just as important as architectural design when designing an area - DAI did this amazingly well with the different creatures and plants we could run into in each area!
The first time we meaningfully talk about lyrium is when we go to Kal Sharok for the first time - a decent amount of game time since the beginning of the game, depending how fast you play. And then, when we get there, the lyrium looks like a bunch of crystals from a 'grow your own lyrium' kit. The absence of lyrium from the game world and mechanics is something that was very hard for me to overlook considering its importance to every previous entry. Especially since in this game we address the fucking Titan's and what the fuck happened to them.
Just...imagine playing a mage in Dragon Age and not using lyrium?
This game is a death of a thousand cuts - so many small, meaningful world-building elements and mechanics brushed off - before fucking godzilla comes along and nukes it all with the handling of the main story/lore.
#bring back fictional cocaine aka lyrium dust!#on the subject of lyrium related drama -> why can't i tell Cullen he's drinking dwarven god blood?!#my man would never have lyrium again if he knew that lmao#literal templar blood magic and I can't tell anyone?? >:(#first thing i did when i finished that dlc was to run to Cullen to see if there was any unique dialogue#lyrium visual design in this game was awful - why does it look like something I grow from a kit you could buy? why do I want to lick it?#looks like a ring lollipop - i loved the dai blood veins design#what the hell happened to the titans too?? 'baby's first titan' - why is it so empty?#the one in DAI had a little SEA inside it - not to mention clouds / light source / plants / homes / birds etc...#“it's angry" - and very empty and kind of lame when u compare it to the descent dlc#lyrium#should I do a my meta tag? probably lmao#datv critical#dragon age the veilguard#bioware critical#veilguard critical
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my neutral dragon age trait is that 50% of the time i'm like "the more i critique the games, the more i love them. i can appreciate each game for what they are but my criticism and frustration over what they could be are a sign of love" and the other 50% is like "this is the writing of the dragon age series. sure. why not. this may as well happen."
#post inspired by seeing a post where someone was asking a blog like 'hey ive only played veilguard what is a mage circle'#50% biting the bars of my cage over the way lore/plot/priorities have shifted and changed over time#50% along for the ride#but on that first point: looking at the plot of veilguard (stopping solas/elgar'nan and ghilan'nain)#im not surprised the mage/templar shit wasn't a big deal#and honestly any frustration i have with that is more so aimed at dai#bc dai was what first reduced the mage/templar war to 'here are some assholes fighting in the woods'#however.#objectively WILD that someone could play ur whole ass game and not know what mage circles/templars are#and then the confusion over an elven rook's backstory is honestly just laughable to me like akjdsjkdf#theyre dalish but they also lived in a town and if they're a mage they also studied somewhere#like. honestly imo not a big issue but like. a simple dialogue choice could've solved this.#it's so funny to me bc it's ridiculous but also. bring back ambient dialogue choices.#like tldr though#i super enjoyed veilguard and i appreciated it for what it did#and while not perfect. i'm a sucker for a story about friends and bonds.#and i think as an interpersonal story it works really well#and i can at the very least respect the writers/devs making the game not as open world#even though i do miss that a lot (as well as talking to ur companions mechanics)#however. the detachment from previous lore is definitely jarring.#not that i think veilguard needed to be about (for instance) the mages and templars#and honestly im happy we got companions that felt unique#bc i was getting real tired of 'here are the elves who hate each other. here is the one who doesnt trust mages'#etc etc etc#and getting to see all these factions was really nice too (though in a perfect world we'd have a legit origin quest imo)#but even just. some kind of way to bring in prev lore#tldr 2 i have my frustrations with the narrative arc as a whole and find them fun to talk abt#but sometimes im just like. it already happened. it's already written.#i will think abt what could've been while also just having fun w/ what i got#final tldr 3 i think dragon age is just the one series that im not always itching to meta essay on LMAOOO
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do you guys think that anders who is also known for his eagerness to drown kirkwall in blood to keep hawke safe among other things has ever half-jokingly told karl that he would burn the circle down for his sake just to become a sparkle that finally set the circle that killed him on fire
#anders thoughts. i can't play da2 rn but they still haunt me#there was an actual thought process behind this one but it's not that interesting so. let's leave it at that.#i just think it would be really insane of him. also pretty fitting#to specify half-joking part. I don't think pre-da2 anders would be really serious about it. unless. unless#you know how daa anders works. templars find him incredibly angry for a reason. but they still find him and bring him back#anders#dragon age
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How (if at all) has Temp changed after the whole "being burned at the stake because the french were salty" deal
Well for one I think he has a big fear of fire now naturally and (I forget to draw this constantly but) burn scars over half of his body not just on his face. He’s kinda self conscious about em and has his bad confidence days but he’s learning how to love himself more these days and it’s getting better :)
I also wanna go the really angsty route and say that because of the smoke inhalation damage to his lungs - he can’t sing beautifully like he used to and even his speaking voice is raspier and a bit quiet now
He and France are very cold and barely civil to each other now - everyone knows not to leave those two in a room together alone. More often than not Gil ends up being the default mediator between em lol
#sorry I was at work lol#I don’t wanna say it’s all bad tho#Gil’s been encouraging him to go join one of those choirs that train and use ex smokers to sing in their own way again#it’s been giving him his vocal confidence and happiness back#he goes every week and brings treats for the others#the entire class loves him he’s their little sweetheart#he’s like a grandchild to em#dw everyone he’s attending therapy and it’s helping :)#and when he feels sad and ugly Gil wraps him in blankets and cuddles (wrestles) him hard#rain kisses on that boy 😤#also he has a cat#ngl the first name that popped up in my head was Smokey but that’s cruel 😭#it’s a darker shaded tortie and he’s probably named her something like Angelica or Josephine lmao#something with fancy spelling and cherubic sounding#maybe Cherub is her name#thatd be cute#wow this is getting long sorry lol#teutemp#hws teutonic knights#hws knights templar
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i know i always go for anders when i replay da2 but my god i am so close to doing a fenris rivalmance because it looks so so good
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something to be said about the grand cleric refusing to let alistair go
#like that's just such a pointed statement and he brings it up a couple times#and he says it so breezily so casually like its nothing#I wonder if she knew who's son he really was#there's precedent for highborn families to send their 'spares' to the chantry ie the trevelyan inquisitor#and the chantry is an incredibly orlesian institution (despite everything about andraste) and its not even a whole generation since#the invasion and there's already rumors about cailan and celene and now I'm just wondering if there was some grand conspiracy to bring#ferelden back into the empire by subsuming their royal line since making alistair a templar would leave him reliant on the chantry for#the rest of his life after all idk idk#I need to stop drinking while playing this game I swear#a talkative qunari.tag#grand chantry conspiracy™
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WHEN A DUDE TRIES TO HIT ON YOUR BROTHER SO YOU DRESS UP AS HIS DEAD BOYFRIEND???
#SEBORGA WHAT THE FUCK#what is your strategy little guy#what are you trying to do#what does Gilbert think of that#what does ANYONE think of that#WHAT#hws seborga#aph seborga#hetalia seborga#hetalia knights templar#teutemp#hws knights templar#hetalia#hetalia world stars#aph#boyfriend girlfriend partner in crime whatever#gender does not exists#especially in Hetalia#and especially if you are dead???#or an angel!#both in this case#sorry Im rating#yesterday I spamed himas account so he brings my child back#Im going insane#hws prussia
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Solas, outnumbered seven to one, overpowered by a lot more than that, betrayed by his best friend Mythal who bound him to her service and coerced him into leaving the Fade and coerced him into making a weapon that would make an entire people tranquil to stop the war she started AND ignored him when he said it would create *checks notes* a blight and made him do it anyway. Solas, facing seven blighted wannabe gods who turned on his best abusive friend Mythal when she finally stood up to them after CENTURIES of him begging her to do just that and starting a rebellion to free all their multitudes of slaves: *creates the veil, imprisons the blight and the Evanuris, and preserves all life in Thedas* World: FUCK THE DREAD WOLF, GOD OF TREACHERY AND LIES *worships the Evanuris and their dragon thralls*
Solas: zzzzzzzzzz (knocked out cold from saving the world for LITERALLY SEVERAL MILLENNIA MORE)
Tevinter: *razes what's left of Elvhenan, steals all their magic, enslaves the elven people for entire length of Solas's world-saving-induced coma*
Also Tevinter: *breaks into the fucking black city and brings out the blight*
Also also Tevinter: *uses so much blood magic that the veil ends up in tatters*
The Blight: >:)
World: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *throws everything they can at the blight, including--*checks notes again*--the blight
Orlais: you know what sucks? elves. let's kill them all
Ferelden: good shout, mes amis
Orlais: you know what also sucks? mages. put them in prisons.
Ferelden: you're full of good ideas when you're not invading us
Free Marches: MAGE PRISON, YOU SAY?
Orlais: add templars who can decide to murder them or make them tranquil on a whim at any moment
Ferelden and Free Marches: *frantically taking notes*
Rivain and Nevarra: we're just going to be...over here...
Blights 1-5: i've got a great idea i've got a great idea
Blights 1-5 after a while: my great idea didn't work :(
Archdemons 1-5: ....... :(
Evanuris 1-5: ......... :(
Solas, waking up in 9:40ish Dragon: what the...WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKING FUCK. they can just KILL MAGE CHILDREN? AND PURGE ALIENAGES? AND ALMOST EVERY ELF IN TEVINTER IS A SLAVE? *absolutely rabid, seeks out the Dalish, as remnants of his people*
The Dalish, at Solas: *ARROWS*
Solas: ......fuck this shit, fuck all of this shit, fuck these tyrants in particular, fuck this fucking...UGH
The veil, after all this: (o.O:0oO.)
The remaining blighted Evanuris and the 99% of blight that did not escape: :)
Solas: well, that is a problem, going to need to address that ASAP, but turns out millennia of coma doesn't leave a spirit spry
Corypheus, busting out of warden jail: I AM FREE
Solas: hm, could kill that guy letting him unlock my orb, since he broke into my blight prison in the first place and defo deserves dying
Corypheus: veil needs a certain je ne sais quoi, a...bigger hole. i will make one.
Wardens: yes, good plan, blighted magister man. we are in control of the blight inside us and also heroes *in death, sacrifice = divine justinia's ritual sacrifice under thrall*
The veil:
O
Corypheus: >:( but like...not dead
Solas: well, i did not see that coming
Lavellan: *in chains, threatened with execution*
humans: KNIFE EAR >:(
Lavellan: *hole in the sky, hole in her memories, hole in her fucking hand* fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, wait, this hole in my hand helps close holes in the SKY
Solas: *.* It seems you hold the key to our salvation
Lavellan: i'm sorry what
humans: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!! *falls to knees*
Lavellan: I'M SORRY WHAT
Chantry: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra: time for you to decide the fate of the world
Lavellan: I'M. SORRY. WHAT???????? you know what? fine. *stops alexius from blood magicking his way through redcliffe and time itself, gets punted into a hellscape of nightmares and makes it back with the help of a rebel tevinter mage* the mages i rescued from becoming probable slaves to tevinter are our allies and dorian is my new best friend for being the only reason i made it back alive and the whole world didn't die *dabs*
Cassandra: >:(
Mother Giselle: >:(
Lavellan: ffs
Corypheus: *dragon temper tantrum*
Lavellan: *somehow escapes both dragon and Corypheus, trudges through blizzard, collapses*
Mother Giselle: *.* I FEEL A SONG COMING ON
Literally everyone but Solas: *falls to their knees*
Solas: a word?
Lavellan: OH THANK HEAVENS
Solas: these people are wack and aren't going to like that Corypheus is using elven magic *cough*, they're a hairsbreadth from executing us at all moments lol, btw here's a castle, you know, for you cos i highkey see myself in you and god i'm so fucking lonely
Lavellan: me too but wait, what the fuck is happening. you know what? fuck it. solas, what if we kissed,,, in the fade
Solas: what IF we kissed,,, in the fade *fade tongue*
Solas: ...you continue to surprise me. you show a wisdom i have not seen...since my deepest journeys into the fade!
Lavellan: don't you dare walk away from me now
Solas: okay vhenan i stay
Vivienne: this is a DEMON and NOT A PET
Lavellan: *blinks* right, no, this spirit kid who is the literal only reason we escaped Haven alive is my son now. if he hadn't read roderick's mind we'd all be avalanched or blighted dragoned, so SUCK IT UP
Vivienne: >:(
Cassandra: >:(
Sera: >:(
Bull: >:(
Varric: >:(
Solas: :D
Wardens: btw we're doing blood magic and raising an army of demons. not really our fault but also not NOT our fault? idk, blight in the blood, morally grey area. get it? grey...war--never mind, we'll be at adamant xoxo
Cullen: lotsa soldiers gonna die
Lavellan: fuck, is there another choice?
Advisors: ...no
Cory's dragon: *burninating the adamant, burninating the wardens, burninating all the people and this crumbling ROCKY BRIIIIIIDGE! CRUMBLING ROCKY BRIDGEEEEE*
Lavellan, flying through the air hundreds of feet towards the ground: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *opens a rift into the fade*
Everyone but Solas: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WE'RE IN THE FADE
Solas: we're in the FADE!!!!!
Lavellan, after escaping the nightmare's lair: glad half the team is pissed at me, what's next, an imperial ball? how hard can that be?
Orlesians: they invited an ELF SAVAGE >:(
Lavellan: you know what, fuck this and fuck Celene for genociding the entire Halamshiral alienage and fuck you, Gaspard, you can be Briala's little French Orlesian bulldog
Half the Inquisition: *shocked pikachu*
Morrigan: allow me to shemsplain all of elven history to everyone, including Solas, yourself, and all the ancient elves in this temple
Lavellan: you know what? okay. *rubs at Mythal's vallaslin, makes eyes real big* who is this "Mythal"
Solas: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra, muttering: i do not want to do a ritual to a false god
Morrigan: lemme have the well, lemme have it, i deserve it more than you
Lavellan: ...abso-fucking-lutely not *drinks from the well out of pure spite*
Solas: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, VHENAN
Lavellan: idk vhenan, this world sucks and i wanna make it better and i love you
Solas: ...you are everything and you inspire me, hurry, i need to tell you i'm the dread wolf but am going to break up with you and remove your slave markings instead and btw they're basically a drawing of me in my true form and honestly, this whole thing is real fucked up and you're the only real person in my entire life who sees me
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i'm bad and don't deserve you and had to harden my heart to save the world before and everyone hated me for it so i'm projecting when i say you must harden your heart to a cutting edge to kill Corypheus, I'll explain after we kill him
Lavellan: ...oh yeah guess we should do that but I gotta go meet Mythal first
Solas: wait what
Mythal: *is Morrigan's mum, is only mostly dead, also 100% cool with overriding her servants' will entirely for shits and giggles, 0/10 do not trust* i'll help you if you fight this dragon lol
Morrigan: *choking in the corner*
Corypheus: *has a mahoosive temper tantrum when Mythal's pet dragon kills his pet dragon, dies*
Solas: ;-; ilu, inky, what we had was real but i'm afraid to do to you what Mythal did to me. I MUST AWAY
Lavellan: ....
World: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*some restrictions may apply, like in a couple years we're going to forget everything you did and be real mad at you
Solas, somewhere: been there, vhenan
World, two years later: :D we're here to hate you, right on schedule
Qunari: you are in need of the gentle path. therefore, we are coming to kill you all
Solas: like hell you will. but come to think of it, this is a good excuse to see vhenan again
Lavellan's arm: TIME TO DIE
Solas: defo another good excuse to see vhenan again. probs should study that arm anyway
Lavellan, after several Qunari too many: CAN ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD STAY FIXED
Inquisition, including Divine Victoria: *shocked pikachu*
Lavellan: i'm going back through the fucking looking glass to talk to some ancient elven sentinels with Mythal's magic whisper well, they're the only fucking thing that makes sense here
Qunari: *destroying everything in sight but getting hounded by the dread wolf at every step*
Lavellan, whose arm is trying to kill her but is following Qunari through her own people's magic mirror world: ...i think i'm in love with the dread wolf
Companions: pfffffft
Cole: :D YES, YOU ARE AND HE LOVES YOU TOO
Lavellan: thank god i have you, cole, my spirit son
Solas, in a statuary garden of petrified Qunari: i suspect you have questions
Lavellan: honestly, fen'harel, not really
Solas: *shocked pikachu* well done
Lavellan: i'm real tired and you could have just trusted me back in Crestwood.
Solas: this world is broken, i must tear down the veil
Lavellan: yep, i'm one "knife ear" away from putting a knife in the next human's ear who says it tbh, i'd rather live in the fade with you and my spirit son, can i help you pls vhenan
Solas: ...no
Lavellan: wtf
Solas, internally panicking because he followed Mythal wherever she went and she dragged him to literal hell and trauma and now his one true love is offering to follow him while he probably makes things worse again: absolutely not, no, but i love you forever
Lavellan's arm: >:(
Solas: ...right, i gotta take that
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i will never forget you *trundles through mirror with severed arm*
Lavellan: oh fuck my entire life, you know what, Ferelden and Orlais? Inquisition is no more, i'm going on sabbatical to Stone Bear Hold where at least people are not insane and Storvacker loves me, and then i'm going home to the castle vhenan gave me. don't call me. byeeee
ten years later
Varric: gonna go stop Solas, who invented the veil and is From Fade, from doing things i don't understand, wish me luck, inky
Lavellan: WAIT ONE GODDAMNED SECOND I'M COMING WITH YOU
Varric: no <3 i found a complete rando who will fuck everything up
Rook: hey, what if i drop a statue on this nuclear arsenal protecting the biggest biological weapon of mass destruction known to all of thedas? that'll help
Neve, a literal mage who should know even small rituals can blow up and kill you: probs not a good idea but Varric, a dwarf who knows nothing about magic or the veil or the Fade whatsoever says this ritual must be stopped At All Costs By Any Means Necessary so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Varric: Solas I will shoot you with Bianca
Solas: ffs stop *breaks Bianca*
Varric: can you promise me your way is better
Solas: i know way better than to make promises like that, have you seen this world???
Varric: GOTCHA, YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Rook: TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR
Varric: defo going to attack the guy whose millennia of existence has been centred on this massive magical problem i do not even comprehend a little after waiting ten years to ask a single question about it when he'd already got going *tries to stab Solas*
Solas, feeling everything he's spent all of world history protecting the world from breaking out of jail: turns the dagger and stabs Varric instead
Elgar'nan: >:)
Ghilan'nain: >:)
Solas: oh for fucking FUCK'S SA--*exit, stage Fade Jail*
Blight: >:)
Rook: oops
Neve and Harding: omg this could not possibly be our fault at all, not even a little. it's Solas's fault, the lying liar who lies
Lavellan: i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child
Morrigan: we have to help the stupid child
Lavellan: we have to help the stupid child
Morrigan and Lavellan: *look at each other*
Lavellan: when this is over, i stg--
Morrigan, who has millennia of memories of Mythal abusing Solas and decades of Flemythal abusing her: yeah no i will throw you a going away party and take care of Dorian for you and help you get your boyfriend back and no way will i fight him, this is actually ridiculous
Ferelden, Orlais, and the Free Marches, all of whom turned on Lavellan ten years ago: hELP help HELP there's BLIIIIIGHT
Lavellan to Leliana: you owe me a hundred gold
Leliana: *hands over a solid gold nug*
Ferelden: X_X
Orlais: X_X
Free Marches: X_X
Lavellan: *grits teeth* i better go meet with rook
Rook: andaran atish'an, honoured inquisitor
Lavellan: yo. sure would be nice to be meeting without our gods, you know, destroying absolutely everything i've spent a quarter of my life protecting and rebuilding after the last apocalypse but here we are i guess
Morrigan: *smirks at shade*
Northern Thedas: ROOK IS THE BEST
Southern Thedas: is rook tho
Ghilan'nain: muahahaha i have so many drago---nooo you killed my dragons and i am BLEEDING LIKE A MORTAL PIECE OF MORTAL SCUM
Elgar'nan: my dragon used to be bigger :(
Ghilan'nain: your dragon's fine
Elgar'nan: Ghilly, make it bigger again
Ghilan'nain: can't, too sad. blood. :(
Southern Thedas: *throwing nugs at blight* hELP
Lavellan, with half of Southern Thedas crammed into skyhold: thanks for the castle, vhenan, we'd all literally be dead without it, again
Morrigan: erm, Inky? seems everyone's telling Rook Solas is just a big monster lying liar who lies and blaming him for everything
Lavellan: that's what people do, blame Solas. had a bad day? blame Solas. Mythal wants to sever the titans' dreams? Blame Solas. Rashvine nettle sting? Blame Solas. Bring the veil 5/7 or so of the way down themselves after releasing the blight? Blame Solas. Rook let the gods out? Blame Solas
Morrigan: Inky.
Lavellan: you want me to go pour out my heart to the person who imprisoned vhenan and let out Ghilan'nain, Mother of Tentacles, and Elgar'nan "My Dragon is Bigger than Your Dragon" First and Worst of the Evanuris, don't you
Morrigan: yee
Lavellan: FINE but you better spill every ounce of tea you've got on the stupid child before i go because i need to at least make rook squirm a LITTLE
Morrigan: i thought you'd never ask
Elgar'nan: you won't make my dragon bigger??? fine i'll move the moon instead
Northern Thedas: i'm sorry what
Anyone at sea anywhere on the planet: I'M SORRY WHAT
Ghilan'nain: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Elgar'nan: >:(
Solas: fuck this shit, i'm getting out of Fade Jail
Rook: :(
Minrathous: fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK
Solas: hello, people who enslaved my people for millennia, i am here to save the day i guess
Minrathous, slapping blight tentacles out of their faces: ...honestly thank you
Solas: wait what
Rook: I ESCAPE FADE JAIL SOLAS YOU BASTARD LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Lavellan: i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child
Solas: you know what, fair play, here's the dagger, there's elgar'nan, ima bite his dragon, you go have a great time. have fun storming the blight tentacle
Venatori, poster children for the Leopards Who Eat People's Faces Party: nooo the leopards keep eating our faces
Minrathous: wow who could have possibly predicted that
Everyone who has ever met a Venatori: yes, yes, very sad
Elgar'nan, eating every face in the magesterium and effectively cleansing Tevinter of the worst of its monsters in one fell swoop: ah, rook, you can't kill me, i have the biggest dragon ever to dragon
Dread Wolf: honestly he's kinda not wrong, this dragon is a bastard and i am like a fifth of its size and getting p tired, ngl
Rook's Blighted Companion: welp gonnae put this trauma to use for the greater good. go go gadget blight tentacles, release the Dread Pupper
Elgar'nan: *shocked pikachu*
Dread Wolf: *chomp*
Elgar'nan: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Solas: oh ffs finally
Rook: not so fast
Solas: oh ffs here we fucking go
Rook: i don't actually want to fight you
Solas: wait, what
Rook: i think this is all my fault but everyone keeps telling me i'm the hero and that's fucked up. and your vhenan, she's nice to me, no one really else is, i'm just everybody's apocalypse therapist, and i even kinda like you tbh, my whole team basically does fun stuff without me and doesn't even invite me to book club and emmrich's the only one who asks me about my feelings instead of just asking me to do stuff for them, and anyway, i'm going to trust the inquisitor here because i'm honestly starved for connection and she thinks you're worth saving so can we talk i don't wanna fight
Solas: what
Lavellan, out of sight, reliving the litany of "i will not murder this stupid child": oh haha awkward
Solas: look,,, i've been bound to the service of an ancient elvhen god for millennia and everything i do, whether i know it or not, is for her, so i can't do what you want and this sucks
Lavellan: even if i'm here, walking the din'an shiral with you?
Solas: ...vhenan
Lavellan: ;_;
Solas: ;_; ...I cannot
Morrigan: yo dread wolf, my mum's a piece of work and i have all her memories and everything she did to you was fuuuuuuuuucked up, anyway, over to her, honestly not pissed you killed that part of her btw, she reeeeally fucked you up, but rook somehow managed to talk her out of her essence, so that's impressive
Solas: what
Mythal: yeah i kinda tore you out of your home and twisted you from your purpose and made you do murder and worse for me for millennia and said i wanted your wisdom and then never ever listened to you ever and just dragged you through every atrocity i created and perpetuated
Solas: it hurts and i guess you're going to kill me now so here's the dagger ;_;
Mythal: it's still mostly your fault but i was there too i guess, anyway, i release you from my service, which i could have done at any point in the past several millennia but instead I tortured you endlessly, lol god of retribution, that's me. k bye
Solas: what the fucking fuck
Lavellan: right there with you, like literally forever, our love is a miracle and the only thing i can even cope with
Solas: yeah honestly fuck this shit, i'm out, i will put myself in fade jail
Lavellan: you are not going by yourself i stg take me with you i wanna go home
Solas: ...home is a literal prison now
Lavellan: sealed away from all this shit? from getting blamed for everything we do no matter how much we sacrifice? if it's you and me there together, i don't care if it's a grey box full of darkspawn
Solas: there's no darkspa--
Lavellan: ffs i said i want to go, you don't have to sell me on it. you're the only person in this world who Gets It. we go on together, forever.
Solas: *.* my wife
Lavellan: *.* my wolf
Northern Thedas: and rook saved the world from the dread wolf, who was a lying liar who lies
Southern Thedas: *busy being dead and blighted*
Lavellan: yeah, fuck this shit, we're out

You can now download this shitpost in beautifully formatted PDF, courtesy of @amburuthings. Thank u for your service *salutes*
You all have had me howling with the tags on reblogs, thank you, I am absolutely dying in deadline hell and needed that
#i did not mean to do a chaos retrospective on DAI through veilguard but here we are#soz rook you did indeed fuck up bad but your heart's in the right place in the end#this got away from me a little#rook can sit with us (emmrich can come too)#someone get rook some therapy#actually someone get everyone some therapy#tevinter better be in better shape next time#solavellan#elgar'nan really just took all the trash with him on the way out (and a shit tonne of innocent people too)#veilguard spoilers#solas#solas x female lavellan#da4 spoilers#solas x inquisitor#datv spoilers#fen'harel
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i feel pretty comfortable saying that dai shouldn't have been made. dao and da2 were enough, they weren’t perfect they both had problems ofc but they were good and enjoyable and had some pretty good writing despite their flaws. dai is fun to play in some aspects but in terms of story, character writing, and worldbuilding its so bad like comparing dao/da2 to dai is like hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
#and btw this isn't to say that every character from dai was bad#but even the good characters in it were fucked over by the writers#and not to say it's bad to enjoy playing dai like sometimes i get into it but as a deep roleplaying game with intense interesting stories..#well it's not one.#idk how to word what im trying to say but basically the writers did not try with dai.#not to mention how the made so many things worse. like turning the mage/templar thing into a 'both sides were wrong' scenario#and similarly bringing cullen back as a GOOD character?? as a love interest??? as if he wasn't a pathetic creepy guy in the first two games#i think the best thing about dai is the exploration/environments. like thats it thats one of the only things it has over the other two game
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There's a lot to be said about the weaknesses and strengths of the writing in Dragon Age games, but for me there's nothing that trumps the way the writers' implicit biases shine through in their treatment of various characters. Anders and Solas showcase the very worst of this. Functionally Anders and Solas could (and I would go so far as to say should) operate as foils to one another. Anders is a victim of decades of abuse at the hands of both individuals and a system that demonized him from a very young age. We are given information about his childhood and time spent in the circle that makes it explicitly clear that Circles are an unjust and abusive system that traumatized him so much that he fled multiple times regardless of the fact that he knew the abuse would escalate each time he escaped. In the end, he chooses to chance death and lifelong struggle via conscription because it is his only shot at escaping his current reality. After that, in DA2, it's made clear that Kirkwall's circle is even worse. Karl is made tranquil, the templars are mad with power, and it's heavily implied that the tranquil are utilized as sex slaves and that some templars may even be selecting mages for tranquility based on their desire for them alone. In the light of all of that, Anders makes a very desperate and destructive choice. Regardless of how players feel about his actions, it's not really up for debate that the context surrounding them creates mitigating circumstances and a sympathetic backing. He was attempting to affect positive change for a group of people facing fates that the game makes clear are worse than death. Despite this, the game's writing treats him as an unsympathetic villain whose actions are not only reprehensible, but completely beyond the realm of human understanding. That dynamic at the end of DA2 carries into DAI. Solas, on the other hand, is on a quest to undo his own actions. His initial construction of the Veil and the problems that it caused can be viewed with (some) similarity to Anders circumstances in that Solas was attempting to right a wrong done by someone else, but the key difference is that, unlike Anders, who was a powerless victim attempting to free other powerless victims, Solas was on a revenge quest to avenge the death of his friend and had an incredible amount of power within the system that he existed as a part of.
His actions had horrific consequences that birthed what is essentially an entirely new existence for everyone in Thedas eons before the start of any of the games. He finds the outcome of his own actions intolerable, and seeks to reverse them. He harms friends and allies to do so, and makes it explicitly clear that he does not care who he harms or what the consequences are to Thedas or the people who live there in his quest to bring back the version of the world that he liked better. Functionally, Solas makes an excellent villain. He stands out from Anders (who operates in his narrative as a symbol of the rage and disenfranchisement of the powerless) as a representation of power and ego unchecked and the damage that they can cause.
Unfortunately, the writing of the game treats him as though he is the tragically complex victim of forces outside of his control when he is in fact the over-powered puppeteer. He is very much the master of his own destiny and he intends to be the master of everyone else's destiny as well by ripping apart the fabric of reality. No character in the series better demonstrates the writer's biases than Varric, who, as a narrator for DA2, essentially acts as the moral arbiter telling players how they should and should not feel about events, explaining what is and is not moral. His reactions to Anders stand out in sharp relief against what we see of his reaction to Solas in the Veilguard releases so far.
To be clear, I don't hate Solas as a character. I think as a villain, he works very well. His complete and total disregard for the wellbeing of others paired with his affect of wise and gentle mage are compelling to witness. His motivations are understandable from the selfish and self-centered core of us as people. He's a fantastic reminder of what happens when we decide that we know what's best with no input from others, when we pursue our desires above all else beneath the veneer of wisdom. He's fun, well rounded, and interesting. He is not, however, a tragic and morally justified sadboi victim of circumstance, and I resent that the writers treated him as though he was.
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actually. 🫷😀🫸 THOUGHTS ON AVELINE
i think aveline is a CORE da2 character, and her relationship with hawke is super super interesting. she’s hawke’s oldest friend in the game & by act 3, maybe the only enduring connection to their homeland & childhood besides the mabari. her voice, her bearing, her stated values are all very noble & movingly fereldan—but her actions both as guard captain & as a party member should be so profoundly disappointing to hawke almost no matter how you play them, which generates a powerful tension. imo it’s really poignant and adds a lot to the game’s central tragedy.
because how can hawke cut her off! but look at how she behaves: ignoring the serial killing & sexual assault of isolated older women and elf girls, baiting the arishok, slut shaming isabela, condescending to merrill. but how can they cut her off? the question is a privilege and a torment!
in this way i think she strikingly complements gamlen. like no matter what gamlen does and says to you, your love interest, leandra, the surviving hawke twin—he’s family and the only way into kirkwall. hawke is not permitted to sever those ties. and no matter what aveline does and says to you and all the women in your party, she remains your oldest friend and the only way back to ferelden, emotionally.
both aveline & gamlen will maintain a warm relationship with hawke as long as hawke tolerates their picking on those in proximity to hawke—but if hawke pushes back with aggressive dialogue options, both will tone match and became sour and hostile. aveline can be really quite awful to a red hawke, and will throw them to the ground and beat them at 100% rivalry. so there’s kind of an underlying challenge in both of these characters: how much will hawke, as gang leader & player character, put up with when it’s not directed at them?
of course, for all the nostalgia that seems to occlude av’s wrongdoings in kirkwall, she’s not really a childhood friend of hawke’s. she was a grown woman when they met, lothering was lost, and the moment was pretty heated thanks to aveline’s hostile templar husband.
and yet hawke is no more reliable & objective in their treatment of the past than varric is. and aveline is what they have! she’s standing in for all of ferelden, all of the past before the blight!
and likewise hawke for her! hawke is the only one left in act 3 who remembers wesley! aveline is the only one who remembers the dead hawke twin!
and as reprehensible as some of her decisions are, aveline’s grief for wesley and her enmity toward the old corrupt guard captain are sympathetic and her voice is sexy and husky and beautiful enough that. well im sorry i just lost the plot for a minute. uh
there’s also the act 3 subplot of the templars trying to take over the city guard, which sets up aveline as the only thing standing between kirkwall’s mages & absolute templar authority in the city. it’s literally her or cullen at his most brainwashed & violent. (to cullen’s credit he also thought it was a bad idea. but i won’t give him so much credit that i believe he’d turn down the position if aveline was removed.) between a knight-commander and a hard place, a pro-mage hawke has to choose the hard place.
so both of my playthroughs i’ve felt like hawke’s friendship with her is at the very least strained, if not completely ruptured, but they have to back her. how much that feels like fucking sandpaper may vary from hawke to hawke.
ultimately i just think she brings a lot to the table. i don’t necessarily understand why she’d be anyone’s all time #1 favorite companion, but you know.

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i need to do this to lucy immediately
abstergo should be doing some severance shit to their employees
#the lucy inside abstergo manipulated into being a templar…. vs lucy outside abstergo who is genuinely working for the assassins#all while abstergo still have tracking or shit on her to bring her back to heel once this is over#she can’t betray the templars if she literally doesn’t know she’s with them.#THROWS UP. LUCY KILLED FOR A BETRAYAL SHE HAD NO IDEA SHE’D EVEN COMMITTED.
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THE ENTIRE DRAGON AGE AMA IS A DUMPSTER FIRE
They avoided all the high-rated questions with genuine criticism (not blind hate!) and went for questions that were safer and allowed them more leeway. After that awful IGN article and that treatment of Davrin...God, just put it down. I have no faith that BioWare will be able to continue Dragon Age or Mass Effect with the respect it deserves.
Edit - They had an opportunity for genuine discussion with fans who were concerned/unhappy with the way Veilguard was -> people unhappy with the story, the marketing, the lack of 'RP' options in an RPG, etc... Instead they just doubled-down even more, avoiding those critical questions, with no real acknowledgement that fans have very reasonable problems with this game.
Some Highlights & My Initial Ramblings Below:
The Executors
"They attempt to manipulate events in the most subtle way they can manage."
So, very clear that they're not simply observers of what is happening in Thedas: they're manipulators...
"Magical Illuminati Confirmed! Lizard People Did 9:30 Dragon!!!!"
All that complexity of character -> his hatred of Orlais, his experience as a general, his relationship with Cailain, and the influence of Howe...all diminished. Any influence from a shadow cabal is too much influence - all the humanity of Loghain's choices/consequences...God, what a waste.
Not to mention what this does to other events/characters in the series -> they imply they've been intervening as far back as the magisters breaking into the golden city. I do not find this compelling! At all!
2. Solas and the Executors
Oh my god, he sounds like such a fucking Mary-Sue I'm so sick of Solas at this point -> "Actually, I know more about the Executors than anyone alive - not even the rest of the Gods know as much as me."
("I'm also, like, an Ancient Elven God, I'm responsible for the Blight and the Veil, and I kind of locked the Gods away cause they were evil - but, like, I'm really sad about it. Also the Herald of Andraste thinks I'm cute <3")
<- Previous comments: massive oversimplification, obviously
But I miss the days when not everything was about Solas. It removes so much interest and wonder in this world when the fucking egg is behind it all. I loved him as a character in DAI and now I just feel this bone deep tiredness when I see his stupid face.
Don't you dare threaten to bring Gareth David-Lloyd back -> keep him away from this mess!
3. The Fate of the Rest of the Evanuris
Yay. I'm so looking forwards to "The Return of the Elves: Electric Boogaloo 2" - it was done so well the first time!
"It was the elves all along!"
The only character with any potential to be interesting is Andruil*, but how they handled all this lore was done so shallowly and so poorly that I find it hard to give a damn anymore. Not to mention that the game literally mentions Ghilan'nain mourning Andruil - so is this a retcon/redirection/or have you confirmed that one of the most interesting members of the Evanuris' is dead?
*interesting in that she's established in lore to potentially have a tonne of really cool things attached to her (the void armour, the great weapon she has etc...). The rest of the evanuris are nowhere near as well established as she is.
4. Southern Thedas, Sociopolitical Issues, and Future Games
NOW YOU WANT TO INCORPORATE GEO-POLITCAL EXPLORATION?? You avoided any meaningful discussion like the plague in DATV but now you're acknowledging it?? OkaY. okAy.
They couldn't even give us the long-term ramifications of the mage/templar war how the hell am I supposed to believe that they will be able to pull off 'elven gods are real' etc...? For a game series that totes : your choices matter -> they have not proven that they have been able to show that in a meaningful way. They literally cleaned the slate with this game to avoid doing that.
So, what, does that mean that the Veil is never going to come down now? Or are you going to have the entirety of Thedas build themselves up again just to have the Veil fall and send things into chaos once more?
What a fatalistic, miserable outcome for Thedas -> why the fuck would anyone bother to live in Thedas if you're going to keep throwing meteorites at them? By all means, change/conflict has to happen for the series to move forwards...but this is just so miserable at this point.
(The Elder Scrolls, at least, gives people room to breathe between crisis' or sets them up in different areas of the world! Bethesda treats past installments/your decisions with greater respect than DATV does.)
Even, then, if the Veil remains up, that means that the spirits are just trapped in the Fade being miserable for the rest of existence. The entire series has been humanizing spirits, from Justice to Cole, and now they're just throwing in the towel? I guess they can stay in the fade now! Problem solved!
What do you mean the Evanuris are not a threat anymore? IN A PREVIOUS QUESTION YOU LITERALLY SAID SOME ARE STILL POTENTIALLY KICKING AROUND THE BLACK CITY?
Weakened, sure, but Solas was 'weak' in DAI. You're giving yourself an out if you decide to go back to the elves again. Please do, I'd love more content on how the elves alone fuck everything up!
5. More Southern Thedas, the Chantry, and Tevinter
Thanks for the confirmation that things in the South are so fucked up that they have to work alongside the 'Slave Capital' of the known world to rebuild!
Slavery was one of the biggest things that caused a rift between the north/south chantry system -> one of the reasons why there were exalted marches -> a uniting belief in the south is that slavery is fucked. They didn't address slavery in DATV - what hopes are there that they will do so effectively in a future game?
Don't tell me that Dorian fixes everything off screen either -> either he solves slavery off-screen or the south is being forced to work the slaver-capitol because their land is nuked and they have no ground to stand on.
I'm so thrilled.
6. Solas and the Idol / The Blight
I will never get over Solas fucking curing the Blight off-screen and no one asking questions/giving a shit. Hello?? The Hero of Ferelden would like a word with you???
So the Blight is calcified in Minrathous, at least, but everywhere further away is still fucked! Once more, the South is doomed to suffer from the long-term effects that regular blights have -> not to mention the red lyrium (which still exists according to the AMA) across the south.
I don't care; it's lame. It's a lame way to conclude the blight and I hate it. This game did not earn 'cure the blight from thedas' at all. You could have had us learn how to soothe a titan and see how that can diminish the blight but you did it this way.
Another 'magical ritual' because Solas has such a good track record with them lmao.
7. The Agents of Fen'Harel / The War with the Qun / The Crows
Turned him against the idea of being a leader???!!
Fen'harel's Call to the Elven People After the events at the Winter Palace, elves left the Inquisition under mysterious circumstances, as did elven servants across Thedas. None could say where they went, but those who believed the Inquisitor's story about Fen'Harel wondered just how large the Dread Wolf's forces were... and what the ancient elven rebel had planned. This is from the Trespasser Epilogue, Epler!
Your concept art for Joplin literally had him as a leader of a faction of elves. Just be honest that it's a retcon and you changed course - don't try to save face with this reasoning.
About the Antaam: "We needed some big mindless bad guys to fight and so we did this because we didn't want to address the Qunari War/Invasion we set up in Trespasser".
You had to canonize Sten as being alive and Arishok in order for this reasoning to work -> you didn't even come up with an alternative Arishok to take Sten's place.
Yeah, the exchange that set up the Crows we see in the game as "idealists" did not make the game. I can confirm that!
I'm sorry, "Caterina kept Illario in check?" as in, 'kept him an idealist and not the usual Crow'? The woman that beat him with a cane and starved him and his cousin to train them as Crows. Fuck off.
lmao -> tell me you're coming up with this on the spot without telling me that you're coming up with this on the spot.
8. World State Discrepancies - Isabela
Outright ignores the very real criticism about the marketing from this game and World States.
"there are absolutely places where we unintentionally suggested there was a hard canon (...that Isabela is always assumed to have joined Hawke's party.)"
Unintentional?
Excuse me, you have her talk about Merrill and the Kirkwall Crew as family - that was not unintentional in the slightest. Not to mention Sten, Blackwall, Sera, and Cole are canonized as being part of your world state no matter what.
You had a story you wanted to tell - one that only fit a few world states - and you went ahead with it and disregarded those choices. Don't try and lie about this all being a big misunderstanding.
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Edit - They could have taken the opportunity to address the very reasonable criticisms that people had with this game but they cherry-picked questions and avoided/minimized anything remotely critical.
They could have provided us some insight into the game development time but each time they approached the topic they settled for "we're happy with what we delivered and it was well optimized."
They had an opportunity to acknowledge that people were bothered by the handling of the lore/stories (to potentially mention they could course-correct/ rethink their plans) but instead they doubled down on everything that they did and even 'justified' some decisions. They doubled down on the Executors, Solas's changing motivations, the destruction of Southern Thedas, and the elves/Solas being at the heart of everything etc...
This AMA basically confirmed that the only reason they did what they did to the south was for a reset -> It's not a compelling or fulfilling narrative to have everything we've done reset back to ground zero off-screen. BioWare games differentiate themselves from other RPG's by their import system from previous games - it was compelling and exciting! With DATV they set the expectation that BioWare can outright throw out entire games worth of choices/build up, not solely retcon them.
Justifying your choice to water down the lore/world of your story by saying you'll address it in the 'next game' does not instill me with confidence, BioWare! It doesn't explain that lack of it in this game either!
They avoided every question that, rightfully so, pointed out the misleading comments made by devs in the pre-order period of the game:
the fact that there were only 3 imported choices from previous games was leaked by a reviewer -> BioWare was vague from the start about choices
that this game was the most 'romantic' in the series
that world states/ headcanons wouldn't be disrespected
that there are 'lore' reasons for bad darkspawn design
that there are lasting, impactful choices/consequences to be made in this game
that the lore/world was not watered or toned down
that companions are deep and you can disagree with them etc...
BioWare's behavior towards their customers in the lead up period to this games release was downright scummy. I absolutely felt misled after playing the game for myself and recalling what I read in interviews put out. While EA is undoubtedly poison, you can't hold them solely accountable for this.
I feel for the individual developers who worked on this in what was undoubtedly a toxic environment from EA - but I feel that it's pretty clear that BioWare itself has a lot of problems within and in their leadership/executives. Working for EA does not give them an excuse to mislead their customers.
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I already had a very grim outlook on the franchise from the end of DATV but this literally look my interest out the back and sent it to God. What a disaster.
#what a dumpster fire#I thought it would be bad but not this bad#obviously don't attack devs! no one deserves to be harassed or anything - bioware as a studio is not in a good place imo#if you like it then I'm glad but this series is going in a direction that has absolutely no appeal to me :/#its just such a grim way to end the series - with everything blighted and ruined#this game feels like it punishes me for caring about the world they created#that IGN interview was awful too - how did anyone think it would help their public perception???#the lore and story has absolutely been ruined by the game#epler that was a godawful take on davrin - that needed to be clarified way clearer#does bioware's pr office hate them? is this some internal fuckery?? lmao#edit - my bafflement has died down and I can add some more critical thoughts about what they could have taken this AMA opportunity to do#I've loved this series for around 12-13 years now and its just sad that its ending this way for me :(#datv spoilers#datv critical#dragon age the veilguard#bioware critical#veilguard critical
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Together
Pairing: Demetrian Titus x FemReader
Warning: Things get a little spicy toward the end, but nothing explicit
Description: A sequel to Revelation, in the aftermath of the destruction of DeathWatch Kill Team Kasaeran on Kadaku, Titus's serf grieves and reminisces.
“Wait! Please tell me-”
The door hissed closed in your face and you heard the input of a locking code. You stood in a dark room. No one had bothered to light the candles. Voices and footsteps sounded from the hallway beyond.
But you had never felt more alone.
“Is he even alive?” You found yourself asking no one.
Is Titus still alive?
Tears threatened for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day, ever since the news about Kill Team Kasaeran. You’d never forget Frigg’s wail of grief upon learning Ulfar’s fate. You wondered where she was right now. Did she miss you? Did anyone at the Watch Fortress care that you were gone?
Swallowing a surge of panic, you inspected the room and gasped in relief when your searching fingers found a bundle of matches on the floor. With the candles lit you realized you stood in quarters almost identical to the ones you’d shared with Titus for the past year.
The only difference was the insignia. An inverted omega marked nearly every surface, including the robes of the serfs who had brought you onboard this battle barge. The symbol of the Ultramarines.
You traced one with your fingertips. Titus had taught you much about the Astartes’ chapters you encountered. You knew to smile at Salamanders, steer clear of Black Templars, and be cautious around Space Wolves.
Only once did he ever speak of the Ultramarines.
“You and I will have nothing to do with them, Little Healer.”
You were no fool. You’d had your suspicions about his past. And now you stood on one of their ships.
But, why? If he was gone, then surely you would have been given another position in the Watch Fortress. Assigned to another Astartes, perhaps.
“Emperor,” you sank to your knees, “please, please.”
He can’t be gone.
***
Months Earlier
You jerked awake, thoughts muddled. Shoving blankets and pillows aside, you sat up in what Titus referred to as your “nest”. The artificial light remained off, and only a few stubby candles flickered. Still the night cycle.
You rubbed your eyes and tried to remember what had awoken you. Then you heard it. Deep, panting gasps, almost animal-like in their intensity. The chemical tang of Astartes sweat filled the air.
“My Lord?” You yawned.
“...go back to sleep, Little Healer.”
Something in his voice worried you, and you scrambled out of your pile of cloth. Or tried to, anyway. A pillow shifted under your feet and you tumbled back into your nest with a yelp.
A strained huff from the cot. “Clumsy.”
Grumbling and now fully awake, you stood, straightening your sleeping robe around you. “Are you all right, my Lord?”
“Yes.”
He did not sound all right.
In the dark, your thighs hit the edge of the cot and you toppled forward, hands landing on scarred, warm skin.
“I’m so sorry, my Lord! I just wanted to- eep!”
Hands came out of nowhere, dragging you up and forward until you sprawled on what could only be an impossibly large chest.
“Titus?!”
“Stay.” This close, you heard the unsteadiness in his voice. “I need….”
You understood. “Nightmares?”
A deep sigh was your only answer. Something bumped the top of your head, pressing into your hair, and you felt a warm rush of breath.
“Your scent is… calming.”
“Um. All right, then.” You hoped he didn’t notice the way your breath quickened.
***
Present
Time passed. The voices and footsteps outside your room ebbed and flowed, but no one came to unlock the door.
You prayed. You drank water from the sink in the lavatory. Prayer. You lit a few more candles. More prayer. Finally, worry succumbed to sheer boredom and you rose from aching knees.
The silent serfs who’d brought you here had also brought Titus’s chest. A good sign. Why bring his belongings if he was… if he….
You pushed the thought away.
Kneeling before the chest, you put your shoulder to the lid and heaved it open with a groan. Titus’s Death Watch pauldron met your eyes first. You traced the engravings and cringed when your fingers came away sticky.
They didn’t even bother to clean it!
With an indignant huff, you rummaged further for your cleaning supplies, but touched worn leather instead. A pair of gloves.
***
Months Earlier
The fork slipped from your cold-numbed fingers onto your plate with a clatter. “Oh, Throne damn it!”
Frigg slapped hand on your shoulder. “Don’t fret. Ye’ll get used to it soon enough. Why, with how hot Astartes run, ye should be grateful the powers that be keep the Fortress as cold as it is. Otherwise only the Salamanders would be happy!” She chortled at her own joke.
You rubbed your hands together, but the heat from the friction faded all too quickly.
“It wouldn’t be so bad if I had-”
“I know.” Frigg rolled her eyes. “Allfather’s Balls, lass. I told ye I’d see if I had a spare pair to lend ye, didn’t I?”
“You did. A standard month ago.”
She waved a dismissive hand. “It’s good for ye to toughen up a bit.”
You sighed and tried to grasp your fork again. At this rate, you’d starve to death.
Another serf scrambled into the dining hall. “Astartes coming!” He hissed. “Black Templar in a foul mood!”
Frigg swore in Fenrisian and pulled you to your feet. “Eyes and head down, lass.”
You obeyed as armored boots pounded into the hall. For a long moment no one moved or spoke, and the cold crept back into your bare fingers. Without thinking, you tucked them inside your robe.
“You!”
Your head shot up to meet the gaze of the Templar. “M-my Lord?”
“You dare prioritize your own comfort in the presence of an Angel of the Emperor?”
“N-no-”
“And now you compound your sin with lies? Come here!”
Frigg shot you a look of pity as you shuffled toward the seething Astartes. His armored gauntlet grasped the back of your robe, dragging you upward. The collar jerked tight around your throat.
“You will be punished for your insolence, woman.”
“Unhand her, Beren.”
With an oath, the Templar dropped you and pivoted to face the second Astartes to enter the dining hall. “This is what comes of coddling serfs, Nullus. Sin and insolence!”
Titus ignored him and reached out a hand to you, lifting you to your feet. “Are you hurt, Little Healer?”
“No, my Lord.” You smiled up at him, almost melting with relief.
Beren snarled. “If she were my serf-”
“But she is not..” Titus turned and took a step closer to the Black Templar, his voice lowering to a growl. “She is mine.”
A wave of heat washed over you at the words.
Beren snarled something unintelligible and stomped away. Titus huffed a breath through his nose.
“He never takes well to losing in the sparring ring.”
You bit back a nervous giggle. “Thank you, my Lord.”
He glanced down at you, one corner of his mouth twitching upward. “I brought you something.”
In his gauntlet lay a pair of worn, leather gloves.
***
Present
More time passed. The door remained locked. Your stomach cramped with hunger.
You’d scrubbed Titus’s pauldron until it gleamed. Then you’d scrubbed everything else in sight. You’d prayed more, but the Emperor didn’t seem to be listening.
Your mind whirled with awful scenarios. Everyone had forgotten you. One day someone would open the door to find nothing but your withered corpse. And the worst of all….
Titus was gone.
Gone.
Gone.
Gone.
You crawled onto the cot and wrapped yourself in his red cloak, the same red cloak you’d noticed when you first saw him back on your homeworld. His scent surrounded you.
Safety. Companionship. And more.
So much more.
***
One Week Ago
When Titus kissed you, your mind went blank. You didn’t know what to do. Except kiss him back.
He pulled you to him, pressing your body to his. You felt the difference in your sizes like never before. He could do anything he wanted to you. The thought should be terrifying.
But it was Titus. You ran your hands up his bare chest, running your fingers over his scars and tracing the metal ports. You’d touched him before, of course, when he clung to you after his nightmares.
This time felt different. When he pulled away, you whimpered.
“Little Healer….”
The rasp of his voice made you tremble. He cupped your face and you saw uncertainty, desire, and something deeper in his rich brown eyes.
“Did you mean your words just now?”
Love. You’d said you loved him. Some part of your mind whispered words of caution, of the perils of the door you were about to open.
“I meant them with all that I am, Titus. I love you.”
For the first time since you’d met him, he smiled.
You kissed him then. He grunted in surprise, then chuckled, arms wrapping tight around you and lifting you off your feet. His mouth moved from your lips to your throat and you felt the brief brush of teeth.
“You are mine. Say it.”
Molten heat rushed through your body. “Yours. I’ve always been yours, Titus.”
“Call me by my given name.”
“Demetrian….”
“Throne!” He growled.
The world spun and you felt your back hit the thin mattress of his cot. He loomed above you, massive body outlined in the flickering candlelight. For a moment he reminded you of one of the predatory cats of your homeworld, poised to strike and devour.
But he hesitated. Uncertainty crept back into his eyes.
“Do you want this?”
You reached up to him. “Demetrian….”
He actually shivered at your touch, eyes closing tight. “I… I must hear you say it.”
“I want you, Demetrian. I’ve wanted you for so long.”
He groaned. “As have I.” With hands that you swore trembled slightly, he slowly pushed your robe off your shoulders. “So soft, so small… I will be gentle, my love.”
And he was.
***
Present
That had been the night before he left for Kadaku.
You remembered waking to him shifting out from under you on the cot. He’d seen you wince as you tried to rise and gently pushed you back. You remembered the touch of his hand on your face as he told you to rest.
He would come back to you, he swore. He kissed you and was gone.
Then the terrible news. The arrival of the Ultramarines. Your transport to this battle barge, to this locked room. Days ago.
Was this punishment? Had the Emperor deemed your actions a transgression against Him?
You buried your face in the red cloak and collapsed onto your side. The cramping of your stomach intensified. You felt weak, but found it hard to care. You’d gladly starve to death if it meant your soul could find his again.
If you could be together again.
The door hissed open. You heard a muttered oath, then the clanking of armor.
“Little Healer.” His face appeared in front of yours, creased with worry. “They locked you in here?”
You reached for him, and he lifted you. “I have little time, but I will get you to the infirmary.”
“You’re alive.”
“They did not even tell you-,” he growled. “Warp take them all.” His arms tightened around you. “I was wounded. I awoke in the Apothecarion earlier today.” He paused. “I am… different now.”
You pressed your face against his armor, his blue armor. “You’re alive.”
“I am, my love. I came back to you.”
Together, you thought as you slipped into unconsciousness, as we always should be.
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#warhammer40k#demetrian titus#demetrian titus/reader#ultramarines#death watch#space marine 2#i know i keep saying this but I am desperately in love with this man
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