#bring back tatiana she was so cool

[angelic-charlie-kelly]

we don’t talk enough about how charlie canonically scissors

[narcolini]

for brothers, pt. 3

angel reyes x oc: tatiana ‘pidge’ clarke, hurt/comfort, 2358 words

for day 10 of whumpril : shivers & ‘i’m scared’

a/n: omg i knOW i know. i know i said the last one was just an extra scene/epilogue but now theres another part and kjSHFgj`hfg its fine. its fine. the fic is sentient. thanku to @cositapreciosa for prompting this

tagging: @drabbles-mc @hausofmamadas @darqchilddaydreamz​

Tati’s shaking when she finally finds the courage to knock, stood on Angel’s doorstep at God know’s what time. Not from fear, but from the cold that’s sunk itself beneath her skin, gripped the bones like a vice. She shouldn’t have left without a coat, shouldn’t have abandoned the Jeep three miles down the road. She shouldn’t be doing any of this at all.

He takes a minute to answer. She stares at the chipped paint in front of her, hearing him shuffle behind, before light finally tips out into the night. He’s got the door open just enough to see who it is, and his arm's tucked back behind his shoulder, gun in hand. She knows to expect it.

‘Woah. Shit, Tati.’ He swings the door open, stepping in front of it. He’s half dressed: jeans, a-tank, handgun. ‘You okay?’

‘No, not really,’ she answers, not bothering with pretences. He’s knows her well enough to know she’s not from looks alone. Her teeth are chattering between the words. ‘Can I come in?’

He hesitates, just long enough to make her feel real shitty about herself, real stupid and careless, and selfish for showing up here, for letting her feet carry her here on autopilot, but then he nods. Steps aside. Lets her in without any judgement at all—well, with only a hint of it.

He locks the door behind her, leaves the gun on the side table. ‘You couldn’t call or something?’

She scans the room. Dark, minus a lamp in the corner and the glow from the muted TV. Warm, too. Like he’s had a fire lit, but that’s just her. Just the difference of being in here and not out there, with the cold that’s chilled her so thoroughly. There’s a throw along the floor by the couch, thrown off, no doubt, at her arrival.

‘Were you asleep?’ she asks, forgetting he had wanted an answer out of her first.

‘Nah, I was just… I was up, yeah, watching TV and shit.’

Couldn’t sleep either, then. Probably as worried as she is, though he’d never admit it unless he had to. Unless he was having a fucking panic attack and she just happened to be there when he did. Vulnerability was the one thing that didn’t survive their break-up, a sacrifice that she didn’t used to mind. Now, she wants to ask how his chest feels, how the anxiety sits beneath his ribcage. If it weighs the same as her’s does, if it makes him do dumb shit like walking around in the middle of the night. If it’s even there at all.

‘Sorry, I should’ve called, you’re right.’ She nods, pulling her arms into herself. He may as well know the truth of it, the order of bad decisions that led to her being here. ‘I got, I don’t know, freaked out, and I just had to go for a drive or something. Couldn’t sit inside anymore. But then the jeep reminded me of EZ, and I kept picturing him there, in the back. The blood.’ She gulps. ‘Really fucking crazy shit, man.’

Angel walks past as she explains, then bends to hook the throw with his fingers and bring it up from the floor. Not to put it back on the couch, she realises, but to put it over her shoulders instead. No comment, no disruption to her story. Just the blanket around her, a tight-lipped smile, and then a sigh as he drops into the couch afterwards.

‘I pulled up at a gas station and left it there,’ she continues. ‘Walked around a bit and then, I don’t know. I realised I was walking here and I’d come too far to turn around again, and it was so fucking cold that I just thought—’

‘It’s cool, Tati,’ he interrupts, dragging it out. ‘I’m not mad’

‘But it’s not fair for me to just show up like this.’

‘So? None of anything we’ve seen this week has been fair.’

Not exactly true, though, is it? Because EZ started the shit with Yuma, but she can’t say that to him now.

When she doesn’t reply, he rolls his eyes and gestures to the seat behind her. ‘Will you just sit down, Pidge, we’re past all this shit. You know I’m here for you.’

She does as he says, landing with a thud. ‘Still feel like shit about it, though.’ If she had anyone else to go to, she would, but it’s just him. Especially at this hour.

He laughs, rubbing a palm over his brow. ‘Yeah, likewise. You think it feels good every time I need you for something?’

No, but she doesn’t mind helping. It’s the only thing that brings them together anymore. Besides, he’s yet to show up at her place in the middle of the night, shivering and desperate for it. Who knows how she’d feel then, how disrupted sleep would shape itself in he. She might not be generous at all, if roles were reverse. She might not wrap him in her blanket and let him babble about his night unprovoked.

‘You want a coffee?’ he asks, leaning his elbows on his knees. ‘A sweater?’

She nods. ‘Both would be good.’ She’d never have asked for them herself.

When he’s back, with two coffees and a hoody that smells like him, she’s finally starting to warm up. The extra layers and the caffeine does more than she expected them too. She’s no longer shivering, no longer doubting her right to be here, to come to him, no longer focusing on the tightness of her breath. If it’s not them, it’s him. His company has drawn the chill out and put her head straight again.

He’s sitting opposite her now, looking the same as he had when she arrived. Tired, indifferent, lived-in like she’s seen a thousand times before. If you went back a year, this is how it always was. Angel tired, worn through from the day, and Tati awake, just to be awake with him.

‘You gonna tell me what it is then,’ he says, resting the mug on his thigh. ‘Don’t think I’ve ever seen you worked up enough to go walking round, freezing your ass off. Not since that Potter bullshit, anyway.’

Not since the DEA had a target on Angel’s back and she was helpless to it. Just like now, really. Different shooter, same victim.

‘What’s got you so spooked?’ he asks, insistent on it now, and nudging the hesitance out of her.

‘Honestly,’ she pauses, incase she changes her mind last minute, and tucks the confession back to bed, before deciding, no, fuck it. She is, and she’ll tell him. ‘I’m scared, Angel. Like, really fucking scared.’

He frowns, which isn’t the reaction she was expecting. She didn’t think he’d crumble, obviously, or rush over to comfort her, but she expected more than that at least. More than brows tucked together and a squint like he can’t make her out.

‘The shit with EZ, Yuma. You.’ She forces a breath. ‘It’s freaking me out.’

‘But why?’ he asks. ‘None of this is new to you.’

She scoffs, yeah, that she’s aware of. It’s been years since she had the right to be surprised, or overly concerned, about club business. But this is different. Because they’re different.

‘Before, if something happened to you…’ She puts her hands to her face, fingertips against her temples then combing through her hair. ‘Fuck, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I’m saying something I’m not.’

His lips pull down around the mouthful of coffee he’s just taken, a grimace, almost, as he swallows. ‘You wanna translate that for me?’ he says afterwards, nervous humour in his voice. ‘The fuck does that mean?’

He expects her to laugh back, probably, to tell him to engage his brain for once, but the words are already fighting through the lump in her throat. Now’s not the time to waste them with jokes, or bickering. Whatever the fuck it is they do now.

‘If something happened to you,’ she explains, slowly, ‘like, right now.’ She gulps, and the more she speaks, the more she’s sure she shouldn’t—but there it goes, out of her lips anyway. ‘I don’t know that I wouldn’t spend my whole life regretting how we left things. How we’re leaving things.’

He looks down, away from her, like the woven rug beneath his feet is calling his name. She carries on like she hasn’t noticed. Don’t read into it, Pidge. It’s too late to go back now.

‘I’m not saying we should get together again. Or assuming you’d even…God. I don’t know.’ It’s not making any more sense now she’s putting it out there, a voice to the thoughts that’ve been tormenting her all week. If anything, it’s just tightening their grip on her, stirring the worry into a real threat. ‘It just feels different now, and it scares me.’

She waits for a nod, a reaction. He doesn’t move.

‘I can’t stop thinking about wasted time,’ she admits.

He snorts then, so sudden that it’s a surprise to both. ‘Wasting what? I see you all the time, Tati. We’re, y’know.’ He shrugs. ‘We’re good.’

‘Are we?’

‘Are we not?’

He isn’t getting it. Or maybe she’s the one not getting it. Maybe the only thing stopping her from saying that she would want to fix things, to get back together, is the self-awareness that she shouldn’t. Can’t. Won’t, until he gives any sign that he’s thinking it too.

‘Let’s just leave it,’ she says, falling into the cushion behind. ‘I’m clearly not thinking straight.’

Clearly, the shock of their rescue mission, of EZ half dead and bloodied, has taken a week to hit her, caught up at last and pushed her off the rails—straight into Angel’s easy-lounger. She doesn’t want to be with him—it doesn’t work, didn’t work—she just can’t face losing him, either. That’s all it is. If the worst happens, she doesn’t want to have forfeited her right to mourn.

Angel sighs, leaning back as she had, in his own seat on the couch. His arm goes up behind his head, face pointed to the ceiling. Thinking, hopefully, running desperate through his rationale the way she is. ‘You know, for once, Pidge, I actually think you should keep talking.’

She snorts. ‘Let me guess, so I can bore you to sleep?’

‘Nah.’ He rocks his head—a shake without any of the effort—and ignores her sarcasm completely. ‘So I can understand,’ he says. ‘You know I don’t think about stuff like this. Just block it out and keep shit moving.’

‘Yeah, maybe I should try that.’ Her method hasn’t helped tonight. It’s only made things worse, made her problem, his. ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying,’ she admits. ‘I’m just so fucking scared of regretting things. I don’t want to regret this,’ she points between him and herself, though he isn’t watching, ‘but I know that we don’t work.’

There’s a mark still, invisible but printed around them both. They had gotten worse and worse; bickering, arguing, fighting until they hated each other. It’s been six months now, and it only just starting to fade. Only loosening enough for moments like these.

‘Well, you must know something I don’t,’ he jokes, ‘cause I’m really not seeing the problem.’

‘Yuma,’ she stresses. ‘That shit isn’t just gonna go away, Angel.’

‘Not that part. The you fucking regretting this, part.’ He looks up at last, head lifting from the back of the couch to catch her gaze. ‘Does it look like I’m going anywhere? Shit, does it look like I want you to either? Whatever we got going on, it’s as much as a relationship as it was before.’

‘Angel.’

‘I’m serious.’ A smile creeps onto his features, eyes alight with the joke before he’s even said it. ‘You think I have time to get another girl while you’re still all up in my shit?’

Tati laughs, against her will, but it helps. ‘Asshole.’

‘Like, you really are cramping my style, Pidge.’

‘Okay, stop it. I’m fragile.’ But smiling, somehow, and then the laugh drops into a sigh, and the point of it—the actual point of what he said—comes back like a freight train. He’s not going anywhere. He doesn’t want her to either, regardless of where things stand.

‘Fuck,’ she breathes. He’s made her cry, somehow, but she can lie to herself and say that it’s not him, it’s the night she’s had. It’s the Jeep at the gas station, it’s the blanket round her shoulders and the almost-dead, almost-brother, and not Angel, that’s brought the wet to her eyes. ‘God, I hate this. ’

There’s a gap beside him on the couch, under his bent elbow, and he invites her to it, flicking his chin. ‘Come here,’ he says, soft, familiar. Too late into the night to care about their boundaries. ‘Gonna make me fucking depressed, watching you cry and shit.’

She snorts, standing and bringing her bundle of comforts with her. ‘That was my plan all along,’ she replies, barely managing the sarcasm. ‘Gotta drag you down with me.’

‘Yeah, real sweet.’

His arm drops as she does, settling around her shoulders, as she settles around him. Cheek to his chest, arm threaded between his waist and the cushions. As normal as it used to be. One thing less to regret.

‘You wanna crash here?’ he asks, thumb smoothing over her arm. ‘I’ll take the couch. Drop you back at your car in the morning.’

She should say no, but there are worse things she could do. And he’s warm, warmer than she has been all night, hot beneath her like he’s running a fever.

‘Are you sure?’

He tuts. ‘Man, if you make me beg, I’m taking it back. You can walk your ass right back to where you came from, Tatiana.’

‘Alright,’ she laughs, ‘fine. Thank-you. I’ll take it.’

There are worse things she can do, there are worse things that could happen.

>>> bonus scene

[imaginationofomi]

Come Together

Eight

The days were beginning to shorten. Just after 6 p.m., the sun had fallen behind some buildings while Nayeli cleaned the empty display cases and hummed along with the music playing from her phone. They'd sold out of stock early that day, around 1 p.m. It gave her time to run errands and finally get her massage before Tatiana and Ezra arrived to claim the former's birthday present.

She was doing a little extra cleaning to keep busy. The hard work was done, but she'd completed With Pleasure and hadn't found her next read yet. She didn't want to sit and twiddle her thumbs until she was no longer the only person in the building. Her energy was still high.

As she finished wiping down the last case and counter, she began to cramp and groaned. The tell tale sign of her cycle starting. It was a blessing and a curse. She rushed into the adjoined bathroom of her office and grabbed a pad from the woven basket on the lowest shelf above the toilet. Equipping herself for the oncoming mess, she scrubbed her hands and popped extra strength Tylenol.

"Please kick in quickly." The cramps were light, but they would gradually get worse, and she didn't want to be in a foul mood for Tatiana. Pulling the spiral hair tie from her curls, she let her bun loose and massaged her scalp as she walked out of the office with eight square cards of paint samples.

Narrowing them down to just two was difficult because they all inspired a vibrant decor plan. Ideas filled her head to the brim. She sat down at a table and held each card against the wall for several seconds, no further along than when she first brought them in.

Her chin rested in her palm, pondering over eliminating the plum or the sunset orange first, minutes ticked by and she was unsure of how many until a little fist was knocking on her glass door and waving wildly when she looked up. Her father stood behind her, handsome as ever with a small smile on his face as he watched her walk toward them to let them inside.

Tatiana jumped around, waiting for Nayeli to twist the lock so she could rush her for a hug that almost ended with them both on the floor.

"I'm a little person, Princess. If you push me too hard, we're both going down," Nayeli chuckled and hugged her back. "How was school?"

"Good. We had music class today, and I got to play the xylophone."

"How cool! What song did you learn?"

"Hot cross buns. Miss Amanda was gonna teach us Baby Shark but we ran out of time."

"Maybe you can remind her the next time you see her."

"Yeah! That way I'll be able to play it when Daddy finally brings me a little brother or sister."

"Sounds like you have a mission to get started on." Nayeli grinned at Ezra, taking in the relaxed attire of his Nike tracksuit along with a faint whiff of his Armani cologne. He smiled back at her, their dimples battling to see whose could go the deepest.

"I have to find a woman to marry first," he said, longing to hug her the way his daughter had. They weren't that far along, and though he didn't give a shit about her sorry excuse for a boyfriend, he didn't want to leave her with the impression that he made a habit of disrespecting relationships.

But she was so damn beautiful. Top to bottom. East to west. North to south. Inside out. He didn't know what to do with himself in her presence. Damn the man that was wasting her time and energy. He was better than that clown would ever be, and yet, she chose him for a reason. As much as he wanted to snatch her away, respecting her choices was more important.

"In order to find someone, one must look. Are you looking?"

"Not really."

"Hoping she'll just fall in your lap?"

"It hasn't been a priority." But the older Tatiana got, the more she would need a consistent mother figure in her life. There were questions he wouldn't be able to answer without a lot of research, and even then, the information would be better coming from a person that actually lived through it. He did need to start looking, "Did you close up early?" he asked and looked around. He was surprised that the place was empty. Every other time he'd been in, it was packed or on its way there.

"Yeah, we sold out of everything around 1. I was shocked. We usually sell out on Fridays, but not that early. I'm gonna put this stuff away and then we can get started," Nayeli said, picking up the colorful cards and stacking them neatly before she walked to the rag and spray bottle of cleaner she abandoned when she ran to the bathroom and put them back in their rightful places.

"What's that?" Tatiana asked and pointed to the cards

"Paint samples. I'm going to redecorate here and at my house, and I'm having a hard time choosing what colors I want to use."

"I can help. Grampy says I have good taste."

Ezra laughed quietly, hands in his pockets, shaking his head at his little girl. When his father said that to her, he was talking about a chicken wing cook off they had her judge. She chose his wings. Of course he would tell her that she had taste.

"We'll pick later. It's time to start your lesson. This way!" Nayeli led them behind the counter and through the swinging doors to the kitchen, stopping them before they could go any further, "First things first, hairnets," she told them, winding her curls back into a secured bun and grabbing three nets from the box to pass them out. She helped Tatiana put hers over her space buns and smirked at Ezra who was still holding his, "You too, Pops. Everyone wears a hairnet in my kitchen."

"I was just gonna watch and let you do your thing."

"You can do that.....with the hairnet on." She meant business. Cleanliness wasn't an option to her. That A in her front window needed to remain firmly planted. She waited until he had the black net over his taper to move onto the next step, "Now we thoroughly wash our hands." The sink was just a tad too high for Tatiana, so Nayeli grabbed the stool she had to use on occasion to reach the upper shelves for her.

They went through the process of washing, rubbing in between their fingers and the backs of their hands, cleaning underneath their nails, soaping up to their wrists. Tatiana listened closely while Nayeli explained the importance of keeping things clean to avoid sickness and contamination.

Ezra stayed back, listening closely as well but more focused on the way Nayeli handled his daughter. She was gentle with her instructions, encouraging when Tatiana seemed unsure about something. She answered all questions with a tiny smile.

The woman he married had to be the same way. Gentle, loving, understanding. He needed someone to balance him the way Nayeli did at the birthday party. Someone who could catch him before his worst impulses took over.

He didn't always think with a clear head. The first choice to pop in his mind was usually the one he went with. He needed someone who could see the other side and tell him where he was wrong because for years, he only ever heard the word yes. It made him insufferable for a time.

He and Savannah had that in common, a large reason they weren't together and hadn't been since Tatiana was almost three. Two people that refused to take no for an answer didn't belong in a relationship. It was impossible to compromise when everything was "my way or the highway".

But that was just one reason on a very lengthy list.

"Have you ever cracked an egg before?" Nayeli asked Tatiana, picking up one of the three sitting on the counter.

"A boiled one."

"That's a little different. Here, I'll show you with the first one, and you can do the next. You want to hold it with your fingers here, tap it against the counter or the side of the bowl. Not too hard because we don't want to smash it, not too soft because we need the shell to crack," she explained as she went through the motions, "Put your thumbs here and use the tiniest bit of pressure to separate the shell, and voila. Now you try."

Tatiana tried to mimic exactly what she did, cracking the shell too much on the first tap and almost getting a piece in the bowl when she separated it. Nayeli smiled at her.

"You're a strong one, huh? Really good first try, Princess. A little less pressure. We don't want any pieces of shells in our batter. Do you want to try again?"

"Yeah," Tatiana said and picked up the last egg. Nayeli repeated her instructions and clapped when the yolk and egg white dropped into the creamed butter and sugar. The mixer did the rest of the work for them.

"Look at that! You'll be a pro in no time."

"Daddy, I did it twice! Did you see?"

"I did. Good job," Ezra praised her, loving that she was smiling so hard. He wasn't a wiz when it came to cooking. Basic meals he could handle, like tacos and spaghetti. Anything beyond, he outsourced. Neither he nor Tatiana spent much time in the kitchen, but she seemed to enjoy it.

Leaning back against an empty spot on the wall, he continued watching them, hoping one day soon he'd be able to recreate the scene in his own home. He longed for a family; a wife, kids running around the yard, sporting events, Christmas recitals, holiday pictures in matching pajamas and outfits. He wanted all of it. Especially after not having it for so long.

Being a single parent was difficult. Being alone was difficult. He had women that kept him company when asked and available, but he was tired of that. He wanted to love and be loved, to shower someone with affection and receive the same in return, to have someone to hold at night and build a life with.

A few years shy of 40, he was ready, and when he told God he was ready to find his wife, the dreams of Nayeli started. Once a week at first, then a gradual increase. As of late, he was having them almost every night. They grew in intensity, often waking him up in a sweat and heavy between the legs. He got the message.

He recalled the first time she looked at him. He was getting ready to run past her, but she was in the middle of the already narrow sidewalk. A quick warning made her turn around, and those green eyes from his dreams tripped him up.

She didn't get to see him stumble. She was already apologizing to the woman she crashed into and slipping. And then the car came. He didn't even think before he reacted, breaking into a full sprint to haul her out of the way just in the knick of time.

They were both stunned. He was holding a woman he thought only existed in his sleep, yet she was very tangible, and each moment spent with her was better than the last, something he was grateful for.

Because looks could be deceiving. He didn't want to expect the worst, but the women he dealt with in the past all ended up being the same; pretty, shallow and emotionally unavailable. That worked for him when he, too, was shallow and emotionally unavailable. Having Tatiana changed him. Having her with a woman that had no desire to be more than a social media parent expedited the process.

He'd been pretty one-track minded for most of his life, skating by on his good looks and uncanny ability to knock a nigga in the dirt. Growing up, he only wanted two things; money and women. He got both, and it just showed him that in the end, none of it was worth anything without someone real by his side. The money, houses, cars, "friends", even with all of that, he still felt lonely.

His father thrived because of his mother. Rakim was getting his doctorate because of his long time girlfriend. A woman that truly loved her man could push him to heights he might not have seen for himself otherwise. He wanted that, the real deal, someone to make him better.

Nayeli was the real deal, from what he could see. It ticked him off to think that she wasn't being appreciated or loved the way she deserved to be. Jalen gave off bitch energy, from his attitude down to the way he spoke to her. How could a man that had been with her for so many years never surprise her at work? He wondered what their life was like, if she was on her feet for hours during the day only to go home and cater to somebody that couldn't be bothered to do simple shit for her.

That wasn't a life she deserved.

"Ezra!" He blinked and looked down. Nayeli was standing in front of him, hand raised like she'd been snapping next to his ear, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, just thinking. Sorry."

"It's okay. We're waiting for the cupcakes to finish baking. Do you want something to drink or eat while we wait?"

"Nah, I'm good. Thank you." She was close enough to touch, and had his daughter not been in the same room, he probably would have reached for her. He had to remind himself that she wasn't his to reach for, that her heart was with another man.

"Are you sure you're alright? You have angry eyebrows," she said.

"That's his thinking face," Tatiana added.

"So he looks like that a lot?"

"Yeah. Mostly after he gets off the phone with Mommy."

Nayeli tucked her lips into her mouth. No more needed to be said. He was thinking about something upsetting, and he probably didn't want to have a conversation about it in front of Tatiana. She backed off, turning around and trying to shut her ears off when Ezra scolded Tatiana for her comment.

She understood why it was difficult for him to find a woman to be with. The time constraints of dating a fully present parent could easily do a woman in, but Savannah probably ran everyone decent away. Who wanted to deal with her attitude?

"Do you give private lessons a lot?" Ezra asked.

"Not at all, actually. This is the first one."

"Why?"

"Time. I'm pretty involved in the community. I help out at a few shelters in the area, I help my grandparents, I garden, I'm in a book club with my friends. The last four months of the year are consistently busy for me because I cater for the annual festivals plus all of the holiday parties. I guess I could do them, but someone else would lose out on my time."

"Who did we take time from today?"

"Just me. I planned carefully for the week."

"Sorry. You need time to yourself. You do a lot."

"Oh no! Don't be sorry. I'm not missing anything but a big bowl of popcorn and a movie. This is much more fun," she said and smiled reassuringly.

"Do you ever sit still?"

"Yes. When I'm in my garden. It's very peaceful back there."

"You have one at your house?"

"My backyard. I have four planter boxes and six trees. I grow fruits and vegetables year round, rotating through the seasons. Right now, I'm growing broccoli, celery, carrots and potatoes. My citrus trees grow pretty much year round except for the kumquats, although that one's really more of a bush. My pomegranates are almost ready, and the avocados will be gone soon."

"I wanna see! Daddy can we go see Nayeli's garden?" Tati asked and tugged on her father's jacket. Both adults froze, knowing that might be a step in a strange direction. It wasn't public domain but her home, and an obstacle stood in their way.

"If it's okay with you, it's okay with me," Ezra said. He trusted her not to put them all in a precarious position.

Nayeli felt conflicted because she wanted to say yes, but there were quite a few reasons to say no. They didn't have many boundaries, and considering she was acutely aware of his feelings for her, it felt like toeing a tightrope over a hungry shark infested pool.

Letting them in her personal space meant letting them in her life for real, because surely she wouldn't be able to cut contact after. Not that she would want to. She adored Tatiana already. They were in a weird place, and she wasn't exactly in a position to take another step forward.

"It's okay with me." But she would anyway, treading carefully because the last thing she needed was to hop from one situation to a messier one that involved an innocent child.

"Yay!!! Let's go now!"

"It's dark back there, Princess, and we still have to wait until the cupcakes are done. Maybe on Sunday after I get home from church," Nayeli suggested and looked at Ezra. They knew they needed to talk without Tatiana around at some point.

"That sounds good. You got plans for tomorrow?" he asked in hopes she would have some time to meet him for coffee or lunch.

"I'll be here for the first half of the day, then I'm going to my check on my grandparents. After that, I'm going out with my sisters."

"It doesn't seem like you sit still to me."

"I will on Sunday," she stated, touching his forearm the same way she had at the birthday party. And just like the first time, she shocked them both, "Sorry."

"I told you, a little electricity never hurt." He felt daring and grabbed her hand, taking note of how much smaller it was in comparison to his. Her skin was soft and smooth, nails short and neatly manicured without polish.

"And I believe I told you that's not that goes." Gazing up at him, her cheeks started to ache, "One of us is walking around with too much static."

"Gotta be you. No one else gets shocked when they touch me."

"I don't shock anybody but you."

"Nayeli, the timer's about to go off," Tatiana said, reminding both adults that they weren't alone. Nayeli reluctantly pulled her hand back, missing the warmth as soon as they separated. Ezra's eyes followed her as she grabbed pot holders and walked to the oven. When the timer went off, she opened it and slid the rack out.

"Come over here, Princess. I'm going to show you how to make sure the cakes are done. Grab the toothpicks for me. They're on that shelf," she said and pointed. Tati did as she asked, bringing the small plastic container of toothpicks to her, "Take one out, and stick it in the middle of the cupcake. If it comes out clean, they're done. If there's some batter, they need a little more time. Go for it. Careful now."

"They're done! Can we frost them?"

"We have to wait a little bit for them to cool otherwise the frosting will melt and slide right off. This is a good time to look at the paint samples." Nayeli put the cupcakes on a rack to cool and turned the oven off. They walked out of the kitchen and into her office.

Ezra stood in the doorway while the two lights in his life went back and forth over color combinations. He made his decision then. His hat was being thrown the ring. There was no other option. It wasn't like Jalen could beat his ass anyway. He was going to snatch Nayeli from that man one way or another.

[kimberly-earthfriend]

MEET THE WIZARDS: Anya Silverblood

Anya was a Duchess of Polaris, back before the Pingouins started to revolt. She was badly injured in one of their attacks, and fled to the Kataba ice block to escape the torrent of violence. Here, she encountered the Borealis crystals for the first time. She observed the patterns within them and began to trace them with her own mind. And as she did so, she felt a new strength course through her. Her blood turned to silvery ice, she was hardened and protected from the outside world. At night, she watched the moon, and learned to change her shape as it changed the tides. Never again would she associate herself with the Walrusks that she had called family. They had done terrible things to her world, and she would stand for it no longer. Like a selkie, she shed her seal skin, and she promised never to let another control it again.

She hijacked the first Sky Ship that came by and drove herself to Dragpnspyre. Although it was a touch warmer than her home, the ice in her blood kept her cool, and the language and dress was familiar enough that she felt comfortable at least. She hid out in abandoned buildings for a while. Then the wizard found her.

Together with Rowan, Kimberly and a wandering construct by name of Tatiana, she traversed the war-riddled lands of Dragonspyre and approached Malistaire’s hideout on the great spire, bringing him down at last. She decided that she rather liked the adventure of questing with these people and stayed with them right until they returned to her homeland of Polaris. She had changed so much that the pingouins did not recognise her, and gladly took her on as an ally for the Revolution. She turned the tides against her former family and stayed in new Pinguinonia, heralded as a hero.

When the Pinguoins branched out to Novus, Anya went with them. She had always dreamed of seeing the stars up close. They travelled the skyways and journeyed to the unformed world, where they found their old friends. Kimberly, Tatiana and Micah. Together, they continued their story onwards into the future.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.151 thoughts

[But I Stay Billy]

...So I was sorta right last week. Fuuko did not scare off two military groups with lasers

She scared them off by activating Disc at all

Which I guess makes sense, the whole point of the operation was to steal Disc because it’s an unbeatable superweapon; if someone else gets to it first, no matter who it is, they’re automatically too much of a threat to simply fight for it, aren’t they?

Plus, with the military out of the way, we get to jump right into the juicy stuff: developing Billy’s character!!!

I mentioned to another user recently that even if an Undead Unluck character seemed unlikable at some point, their backstories never fail to make me fall in love with them, and Billy is a particularly interesting case for me because we just keep learning more facets of him while seeing that they’re shockingly consistent with what we already knew

Billy being a bit of a goofball, screaming for Tella to save him when Disc starts flying only to stand at attention and start smoking all cool-like when he realizes that Fuuko’s looking at him, is so perfectly in-line with what little we saw of him back in the beginning of the story. “Huh? I’m gonna die?” when Juiz forced Tatiana to point her lasers at him, the long-cake bars that he designed himself for Tatiana; we didn’t get to interact with him much, but it was clear from the beginning that he’s an overall silly person, which was just enough to throw us for a loop when we learned that he was the leader of Under

The thing about that, though, is that it was just enough; we understood conceptually that Billy’s betrayal was upsetting to the cast, but I’ve seen a lot of readers who found the twist itself to be fairly weak because it was so abrupt. We only knew the bare minimum about Billy, so this didn’t feel like a huge betrayal of our expectations, it admittedly felt kind of lazy, like it was just the Aizen reveal from Bleach without any build-up

And this brings us to the current loop: everyone we met in the first loop had a similar level of simplicity that is only now being deepened. While the entire cast was kind of shallow in the beginning, it ultimately served as a way to pique our interests, a teaser for the real story to come. Once we learned that the loops were even a factor, it became something of an inevitability that we would meet the dead cast again; Loop 100 was just a preview for all of the characters that would get to develop later, and it gave us the opportunity to think “I want to know more about them”

Every character that we’ve seen this time has made me so excited. “Oh! We finally get to be properly introduced to Void!” “It’s Yusai!!!” “Oh great, it’s Sean...actually, wait, maybe I’ll come to like Sean!” While I do think that everyone could have stood to be a bit more fleshed out early on, I’m grateful that things went the way they did now, because it means that the first half of the story focused on the most important thing, Andy and Fuuko’s relationship, while still serving as a solid introduction to our supporting characters, and the second half allows us to focus on the team itself, more specifically Fuuko’s relationship with them

I guess that’s really the main thing: everything is about Fuuko’s relationships in the end. Part 1, she gets to know Andy, Tatiana, Chikara, Rip, Latla, Isshin, Juiz, and Nico (through Andy’s fight with him); Part 2, she’s getting to know everyone else in sequence, and even gets a do-over with Gina, something I had been hoping for since chapter 20 when I pieced together that the loops existed in the first place. Tozuka never lost sight of that idea, and while he didn’t completely eschew the supporting cast, he chose to only worry about telling us things that were centered around Fuuko for the most part, and that’s paying dividends now

Circling back to Billy, that’s actually a fantastic parallel between them: Fuuko’s entire story is centered around how she builds her friendships with people, partially because Unluck is dependent on her love for others and partially because she’s the leader of the Union; Billy’s Unfair, conversely, is dependent on the hate others feel for him, so he actively destroys his friendships and builds a team specifically of people who feel no loyalty for him and whom he can turn on at a moment’s notice if stealing their powers would be advantageous for him. By Billy’s current interpretation of Unfair, he cannot use his ability if he has the sort of relationships that Fuuko seeks to cultivate, and thus must become a lone-wolf who actively pushes others off of the battlefield to scowl at him from the sidelines

This is why Fuuko’s plan to recruit Billy necessitates a battle with him, even if he technically isn’t an enemy at this point: she needs to prove to him that he’ll be stronger with a team. To Billy, having people weaker than him on the battlefield will only result in their loss, so he tries to protect them by keeping them at arm’s length, whereas Fuuko’s approach is to keep them within arm’s reach so she can protect them and be protected by them in turn. If the Union can beat Billy in combat, that should prove to him that they’re not so weak as to need his protection, and that they are just as capable of protecting him should the need arise

This is why it’s especially poignant that while the Union is ganging up on him, Tella swoops in and evolves Untell to protect Billy. Tella took a seemingly useless ability that only seemed to hamper communication and turn it into an impenetrable shield. How his interpretation changed, I can’t say, but if I had to guess, I would say that he interprets an attack as an incoming communication, and uses Untell to negate any form of communication involving himself, not just outgoing messages such as speech. I’ve theorized this to be the case since we first saw him use his ability just prior to the Winter battle, so it’s a little frustrating that they still haven’t properly explained it, but I imagine we’ll either get a more detailed explanation soon or in an omake in the volume where this chapter is published

Anyway, it’s really nice to see Billy’s closest friend jump into to save him when he thought he could get away with fighting alone, it really helps make the transition in his thinking more believable. That, and the fact that Fuuko got the upper hand against him in their fight, which seems to have impressed him; even if he couldn’t see, the smile Billy and Fuuko exchanged before Tella stopped the fight was surprisingly heartwarming, as if he acknowledged and appreciated that Fuuko was in fact strong enough to stand by him and not need his protection

It’s especially appropriate when you realizes that Fuuko specifically is one of the Negators that he didn’t want on the front lines in the previous loop. He thought that she was too weak to use Unluck effectively, and only brought her with him to the Spring fight because he couldn’t get her to view him as an enemy and needed her to overcome Spring’s games of chance. He never thought she had this kind of ability in her, but now it’s been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she does. He says that this feels nostalgic for some reason, and I think that this line ties back to what Fuuko said about Sean’s soul deliberately being born early to meet her; I think that Billy’s soul remembers the previous loop, that somewhere deep inside him he knows that he’s finally been proven wrong

Of course, he has to put her to one final test, if for no better reason than for his own pride; a direct confrontation, a one-to-one duel in his area of expertise. If she can surpass him here, that will be the ultimate proof that she really is strong enough to be his equal, and after how he managed to fend off the rest of the Union by himself just a moment ago (very impressively, I might add), that would clearly be no mean feat. Most importantly, though, being one-on-one, using the same weapons (Billy even giving Fuuko the same kind of gun that he has), with no powers makes this fight the most important thing it could be: fair

How Billy got his understanding of fairness, how Unfair would come to manifest within him, we still don’t know. Until we learn that, his backstory is still incomplete, we’re learning everything about him completely backwards, but we know that he does value fairness above all else. He views himself, being one of the strongest Negators, as being the one most responsible with shouldering the burden of defeating God. He views himself, as a tactical genius and skilled soldier, as being the one most responsible for uniting the world as a common enemy (which I mistook for Creed’s motivation last week, so I’m glad my analysis didn’t completely go to waste). He always talked tough, saying that it was unfair that the Negators were saddled with powers and forced to bear that responsibility for the helpless masses, but we now know that those weren’t his true feelings: if anything, it was unfair that the Negators were forced to fight at all, but he never really blamed those who weren’t chosen, he only really blamed God for burdening anyone in the first place

It also occurs to me how meaningful it is for Billy, as the leader of Under, to carry Unfair, while Juiz, leader of the Union, carried Unjustice. Depending on the context, those words are almost synonymous, a cruel imbalance in the natural order that skews events one way or the other. The powers they gained were completely different, but both negate the balance and either require or force people to shift to either side of the scale; Unjustice forces the target to betray themselves while Unfair requires the user to betray their friends in order to stay true to themself. I can’t speak for how much of this Tozuka planned, but it lines up quite beautifully

Billy really has gone from being a seemingly bland, poorly implemented trope to one of the most fascinating and nuanced characters in the story. I enjoy him so much, and while he hasn’t become my favorite character or anything, I am massively endeared to him in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to predict almost two and a half years ago. I don’t know exactly how this fight is going to conclude, whether Fuuko will lose an ear but force a draw or if she’ll have an undisputed victory, but I know this duel is going to be good. Maybe this is where we’ll get the final piece of BIlly’s backstory, maybe we’ll watch him gain Unfair in a spectacular fashion, or maybe he’ll be a mystery just a little longer. Either way, Billy has shown himself to be not only one of the strongest in terms of ability, but character, and I’m so glad he became so much more than I ever gave him credit for in the beginning

[warwickroyals]

what styles of wedding dresses do you have in mind for each of the warwick brides? 👀

Well, it depends on the decade when the marriages happen, but I hope to make wedding gown sets in chronological order based on the prevalent fashion trends of each decade. I'll give you examples of the wedding gowns I'm taking inspiration from. This would take a long, long time, but I'd work on these over the course of months.

Queen Katherine (1941): Katherine was a wartime bride, so her dress was cheaply made and very understated, most likely made of silk. INSPO: Gloria Vanderbilt's FIRST wedding gown, Babe Paley's wedding gown, Brenda Frazier's wedding gown

Princess Elizabeth (1952), Princess Alice (1954), Esther, Duchess of Glencairn (1956): For Louis's three aunts that were married in the 1950s, I was hoping to make a miniset of wedding gowns inspired by the Kennedy sisters particularly Jaqueline Bouvier, Eunice Kennedy and Joan Bennett's

Queen Irene (1968): I made Irene's wedding gown a while back but I don't know, it's fallen out of favour with me and I want to redo it with a different vibe? I love Julie Nixon Eisenhower's gown so much, so maybe expect something similar to that?

Phyllis, Duchess of Pape (1980): Probably the only opportunity I have to make an obnoxious 80's wedding dress that looks really ugly in hindsight. Maybe something similar to Olivia Newton-John's wedding gown or Lisa Vanderpumpp's. Obviously, these gowns are derivative of the ultimate 80s wedding gown (I don't even have to name or link it, you know).

Princess Jaqueline (1997): I really like Marie-Chantal Miller's wedding gown (probably the only thing I like about that woman). I think it would suit Jaqueline very well: a 90s wedding where a blonde socialite marries in a wedding way too grand for her status.

Tatiana, Princess of Danforth (1999): The late 90s - early 00s were a time of hideous royal wedding gowns (awful, just awful, don't argue with me, don't bring up Crown Princess Mary, I hate her gown) so I had to look elsewhere for inspiration. Mette-Marit of Norway's gown is the rare exception to this, so is Princess Clarie of Belgium whose dress really resembles Anne Hathaway's gown in Princess Diaries 2.

Courtney, Duchess of Woodbine (2005): I've always imagined Courtney in Vera Wang. Think Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian's first weddings, those types of gowns dominated in the mid-to-late 2000s. I envision her in something similar to Chelsea Clinton's wedding gown, or maybe Avril Lavigne's, she's named after Courtney Love, so keeping that punk princess theme with her would be cool.

Shelby, Duchess of Sherbourne (2019): I did her wedding for my story, but that was so long ago and so terrible that I sort of want to reimagine her wedding gown because I never really liked the one I used anyway.

[pbandjesse]

I'm glad to be at camp but also camp's been very obnoxious to me. I just hate when things cannot be on schedule. I hate when the food is bad. I hate when people can't respect my space and my things. It just makes me really frustrated. And like I can get rose colored glasses for here very easily but this year has been a challenge and I just hope that it improves.

I slept okay last night. I would feel a little bit better and would sleep okay. James gave me Oreos before bed and that helped a lot. And I remember saying goodbye to James before they left. But only a little bit. I wish that they had gotten a slightly later trained so that I could have actually been awake but instead I slept till 7:30 and I think I needed that.

I did feel pretty good though. All of my aches and sickness feeling from the booster seems to have gone away. I still have soreness in my arm and I feel tired but more emotionally than anything else.

I did forget a bunch of stuff at home that I'm annoyed about. I forgot to bring more washcloths. I do have one but it's not ideal. And I forgot my Teva's. And it's a couple other little stupid things that are just obnoxious but it's fine. in the long run it's not going to matter it's just those small conveniences. The sandals were the worst thing but thankfully I have emergency sandals that have backs in the trunk of the car. So I was not completely without.

I stopped for breakfast and decided to have hash browns breakfast and save the sandwich for lunch. Which was a great idea because they only gave salad and cut up fruit for lunch today. What I don't understand what's happening in the kitchen because it has been nothing but a nightmare and it doesn't make any sense.

So I just tried to carry my good mood because when I got ready to leave I saw that James had left a gift for me in my backpack. A little velvet pouch with a tiny gold heart carabiner. It is so cute and has such a nice weight and it's a working carabiner. It actually untwists! So I think I could keep my rings on it if I really wanted to. But I love it so much. What a thoughtful gift. James says that I have their heart on lock.

I got to work and got stuck in the day camp line. It didn't actually matter I just wanted that first hour to set up. And I had thought getting married 820 would save me from the line but it did not. So I had to sit in the line for 15 minutes but it was okay.

I was not thrilled when I got up to the art building now and found that all of my tables had been moved in the back and all of the paint from color wars was all over everything and all of the paint brushes that have been used have been left and not washed. So they were essentially garbage. I was able to rinse most of it out so I think I can still save them but I was so mad. Just so furious. I don't know how many times I can ask people to clean up after themselves. I did find out who the group leaders were later and they told me that they were never able to come back up because of the schedule of the day. But I'm going to have to talk to Kieran or Charlotte about that because They can't use my materials if they're going to just ruin them. It's not cool or fair or something that should be expected for me to clean up after that. I wasn't even here! So I did not start my day in the best mood.

After I cleaned up all their mess I went down to the office and I found out that there is no top bar 3. So I was like cool I'm going to have a whole extra hour to do prep and that thing's ready and everything was going to be great. So I come back up here and then Heather calls me and says I'm going to have a YLP come and help me this week. Excellent. And Tatiana is lovely. A little quiet but super helpful. I had to remind her to come outside but when she did come outside she was super helpful and engaged and she worked on her own project which I always love when people do. So I think it was a pretty successful person to have here and I hope she continues to be with me because she's really nice. The only real issue I have is that she doesn't go away during the break times so I don't have the little bit of a loan time that I want. I'm hoping tomorrow I can get her to just leave the inside space so I can be in the dark for a few minutes.

But I don't want to be rude and I don't want her to feel unwelcome. It's not that I don't want her in the art area I just need to be alone for a few minutes. Just to reset.

But it turns out that the schedule I had was not the schedule that the groups were following. For some reason our week 2 and the week 2 schedule that was sent out to the counselors was different. So silver City showed up and I was like why are you guys here an hour early? And they're like no our schedule says now. And it absolutely did. So I sent one of the counselors to the office to try to figure out what the heck was going on and it turns out they messed everything up so they were like well everyone can just stay where they are now so I ended up having silver City for 2 hours. Which is fine except I really wanted to read my book on the little break I was going to get. But the girls were super engaged and it took them a minute to really understand the weaving but once they did they really did a good job. And Tatiana really excelled at it too. I hope she continues on with weaving because she's really good at it. I hope that we can find her a bigger room. Maybe I can bring in that lap room I have that I don't really use for anything. We'll see if I remember that. Or if she's even interested.

Me and Tatiana both decided not to go to lunch. And apparently that was the right call because it was a nightmare. I laid in my hammock and read my book and enjoyed my sandwich and things felt fine. At 12:30 I went down to the nurse's office to use the bathroom and was very annoyed when I came back and the group was 10 minutes early. And I said absolutely not go do something else. I get my break you're not coming in here yet. And the counselor was like sorry we're early! And I'm like the sorry is you going to do something else. So they went and played Gaga for 10 minutes. Thank you so much guys.

They weren't the only ones because every group I had today came 10 minutes early. Why. And it was always right after I had a break or when I had another group there still. So I was not thrilled. I will not let them come in early though. I have other things going on there is a schedule. You have been told to stick to the schedule. You have been told not to be early. So I just would tell them to go do something else or wait because I am not ready for you.

Eventually though we kind of got a good clip going. My afternoon groups were all lovely and they did a great job. The older girls were not into the weaving which is fine. I'm going to have the metal casting ready for them next week hopefully. So we'll see what happens with that but overall everyone seemed to have a lot of fun and Tatiana was great help and that made my life a lot easier.

I also got a lot of sewing done today. I'm taking a break from my loom knitting and working on some bears. I got three and a half bears done today. I still need to figure out how I'm going to do their new faces because I want to try some embroidered ones but not entirely sure how to do that so I'm going to have to do some research. But I am having a great time making my little bears and doing the new color limbs is very fun but it does take a lot of time. So I'm not as fast and I'm hand sewing them instead of using a machine so it's a little bit different. But I'm having fun. And it's fun to show the kids what I'm working on. I always think that it's better to be working than hovering over them and then they know where I am and they can come and get help for me as needed.

I also just had some nice chats and one of the YLPs fell asleep in one of my hammocks and I had to very gently wake them up. Which was very cute. And it was just kind of a nice day. There was a lot of stress on the outside but thankfully most of the stress stays away from my building. I can let go of a lot of things.

At 4:15 I packed my little tote bag and I walked with the kids towards the pool. I decided I did not want to swim but I did want to take a shower. And it was a very nice shower. The water actually got hot and the pressure wasn't sad. I felt so much better afterwards.

And then I came back to the art building and I was already sweaty. So I laid in my hammock and put on my fan as high as it would go. And I read my book. And I did that until dinner.

I was determined to finish this book today. And I did. And it was really good and so sad. I really appreciate that the Dear America books have so many highs and lows and real things but always kind of end with a happiness. I think I've only read one where the girl didn't go on to have a beautiful and amazing life. And that one absolutely devastated me. So I mean it makes sense But I really appreciated the story and that one ended in 1860 and the second one that I started today starts in 1860 so I'm curious on the storyline for that one too. I don't have any more dear America books after that though and I'm going to start one that's apparently a classic next. I also have a comic book that James gave me. And a book on cults. We'll see where the mood strikes.

I did go to dinner. Celia came and sat with me in the art building at the end of the day. Her schedule was even more bizarre than mine because no one knew what was going on. But she did catch a bunch of frogs that had tails which looked very cool. And then we walked down to dinner to see what the vegetarian option was.

They were having sloppy joes and I appreciate it how hard the cook worked to make the vegetarian option taste like a sloppy joe but I think sloppy joes are disgusting So I did not love either of the things that they made. One being a mushroom-based fake meat thing that was supposed to be like the sloppy Joe meat and the other being some kind of quinoa salad that tasted like nothing. I did like that I had edamame in it but I just ate that. And ended up giving the rest to CJ who went and found salt and apparently that made it a lot better. I enjoyed the cornbread. But I did not really eat anything else. So I think once I'm done this post I will have a snack.

I came back up here to finish my book. And as I did some girls came over to get some help with the project that they had asked me about last week. Putting jewelry ends onto friendship bracelets. So I was able to help them with that and as we were finishing that it started to storm really bad. So they hunker down in the building with me while I started working on figuring out the metal casting.

And it was so stupid easy. I love this little crucible. I'm definitely going to have to get more metal but it melted down so fast and it cast so easy. It is hard to pour so I still think I'm going to get a little metal spoon or something but I'm still pleased. Does turn out you cannot touch the pot with metal directly. You will get zapped. So I got zapped a few times before I figured that out and scared the shit out of myself. But once I was grounded with a pair of needle nose pliers with rubber handles I was fine. And I never even burned myself. I carved out my cuttlefish a few times just to see what things would look like but I'm going to have to start a new one if I want an actual example. I think a ring is going to be really difficult because it's really hard to control the pour. But super thrilled and I think as far as small objects go we're going to be great. I think we're going to try to make a little tiny bear tomorrow and see how that goes.

Ty came and sat with me for a while. After the storm come down you had been walking around. I had been standing outside with my dress tied up trying to use a broom to sweep the flooding water away. I'm going to have to talk to the office about figuring out a way a diaper some of it cuz it's coming into the building and rotting away the one wall. The building's going to need to be torn down and restarted I swear. But there has to be something we could do to mitigate because it's going to be a problem. But it was nice sitting and talking to Ty. He's struggling with all of the disorganization of camp which is absolutely understandable. But it's still somewhere I love even if it's ridiculous.

I also help Tony make shorts today. The fancy brought me last week would not work but the sweatpants he brought me today did and I was able to cut and hem them and I'm very happy with how that project worked out. I think he was surprising how fast it went but it was easy because sweatpant material so easy to sew. And it was nice chatting with him. It seems like all of senior staff feels a little lost this year but so does everyone else so I'm not shocked.

Now though I am ready to have a snack and get ready to go to sleep. I'm a very long day. And it's storming again. Alexi just said over the walkie to make sure no one's outside because there's lightning really close by. I haven't heard that any trees or anything I've gone down and tonight's storm but seriously its just never ending it seems like now. The rain is insane. But I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day. I hope you all have a great day and sleep well and our cozy and comfortable. My James is in Philadelphia with friends and I hope that they are having a great night.

I love you all. I hope you are safe out there. Good night.

[delporteart]

I remember painting this one. It got accepted into a juried show at the Wayne Art Center… It was kind of a cool show. @thebobartlett had a painting in the show and the press showed up for the opening. The woman who posed for me, Tatiana, was there standing by his painting and the press overheard her say that she was the model. (She was talking about my painting, not Bo’s) So the press did a long interview with her and at the end she walked them over to this painting and said, that this was the painting she had posed for! Ha ha! The press was not to happy! It was a great show… it corresponded with another show they had in one of the other galleries… this painting brings back so many fond memories.  On a side note… Tatiana posed for me on another painting… it was a painting that I had started and did 99% of the painting with another model, but she ghosted me… so Tatiana came and sat for the final part… the head. Ha ha!

copyright. - Thomas Del Porte

www.delporteart.com

[smytherines]

I have a few thoughts, not sure how coherent they'll be though

So in A1P1 we've got Owen in warm tones and red, and Curt in cool tones and blue. That's pretty self-explanatory.

We've got the neutral suits, representing Curt on the job again- alone.

I think the purple might not just represent Curt and Owen (although that's the logical conclusion and heavily implied) but maybe it's just Curt having a genuine connection with another human being? Someone else knowing who (what) he is. The only people we know for certain know that Curt is gay are Owen and Tatiana- so maybe it's meant to represent him trusting someone else enough to share that secret with?

So purple is the color that represents partnership- romantic or otherwise.

Then it gets interesting, because realistically its probably just that its actor Curt Mega's actual real life coat and it looks cool so they used it. BUT it gains some beautiful symbolism if you subscribe to the belief that within the show, that coat used to be Owen's. That either Curt stole it when Owen was alive (a cute couple thing), or somehow got it after he died (saaad).

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the first time we see the red and black jacket at Mrs. Mega's house after the Gala? After he screws up pretty massively and is still injured from DMA's gunshot and sits on the floor covering himself up with the jacket? Like maybe he kept the jacket at the safehouse, and he gets it out because having this thing that was Owen's makes him feel comforted and secure? He's literally covering himself with it.

But interestingly, he has the jacket and is not wearing it yet. Maybe he just can't bring himself to do that until he finally opens up to Tatiana about Owen? Until he trusts someone enough to reveal his secret to them?

Maybe then he is finally able to wear Owen's jacket without breaking down in tears. Just being able to remember him and keep Owen with him without it derailing his whole life. You get to keep the red vs blue symbolism then, because Curt is still wearing a blue t-shirt, he just has Owen's red coat over him like armor he's wearing into battle.

There's also this, which I find very interesting.

Curt is framed in the panel that is glowing purple. Owen is in a ghostly pale blue light. Maybe that represents that Curt is thinking about their relationship, their partnership. He's still in that headspace. He's mourning what he and Owen used to be. All the most heartbreaking Curt faces happen with that framing of him back-lit by purple.

But Owen? Owen is bathed in very pale blue, ghostly blue. Blue is Curt's color. As much as I'm always looking for Owen symbolism, this color choice is all about Curt's character. He's thinking about their relationship, but Owen as an actual person is still a ghost to him. A ghost from his past.

You can even fold Tatiana's last appearance into this. She still has the purple shirt, but it's obscured by a large orange coat (that looks cool as hell). It feels like Curt wants to ask her to stay and work with him, but she's going off to be with her family. They'll always be close, but she isn't going to physically be with him for awhile.

Honestly, if you subscribe to the Owen's coat theory everything works in terms of color symbolism

i need someone to explain to me the colour symbolism of spies are forever before i go insane. because WHY does the show start off w curt being assigned cool tones (mostly blue) and owen assigned warm tones (mostly red/brown)

(owen is in red light wearing a brown (warm tone) top and curt is in blue light wearing a white jacket and dark blue (cool tones) turtleneck) and then after owen's "death" curt is in mostly monochrome on his mission where he insists that he is a CAPABLE AGENT and can DO THIS ALONE, ACTUALLY

but then after his talk with tatiana he walks around in both red and blue????

(the jacket, which is the flashier part of the outfit has red accents but also the shirt underneath is light blue??) BUT DURING ONE STEP AHEAD HE'S ASSIGNED RED AND OWEN ASSIGNED BLUE???

(red boat for curt, blue boat for owen) BUT AFTER THE STAIRCASE SCENE HE'S BACK TO COOLER TONES

(the dress shirt underneath the blazer is slightly blue/purple and UNDER that you can see the blue shirt from before sticking out. also idk it just gives cooler vibes to me)

AND ALSO, WHY ARE TATI AND HALLUCINATION OWEN ARE BOTH ASSIGNED PURPLE. WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

(thats a gorgeous image of hallucination owen i know)

WAS THIS ON PURPOSE? AM I READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS AND MOST OF THESE ARE RANDOM COLOUR CHOICES??? DID MARY KATE JUST LOOK REALLY GOOD IN PURPLE??? SOMEBODY PLEASE DECIPHER THIS FOR ME BEFORE I ACTUALLY LOSE MY MIND

[goatskickin]

     “This place is a dump.”

“Shh! Olivier might be here today. Don’t let him hear you say that.”

…

“I really wish we had somewhere nicer to meet people.”

“Me too. Like, a coffee shop? Or even a park.”

“We have the skatepark.”

“Ha! Yeah, littered with beer cans and it smells like piss. Pass.”

“…so, how will we know it’s her?”

“Well, if she walks up to us and her name isn’t Tatiana, then we will know it’s not her.”

“Okay sassy! Jeez.”

…

“Sorry.”

…

“I’m just nervous. She came a long way, and she’s pretty young…I just hope this works out.”

“Riverblossom Hills, right?”

“Yep. Wonder how she got here.”

…

“Hey! I think that’s her!”

“Is that a dog with her? Ooh, I don’t know about that…”

“Yeah, where did she get a dog anyway?”

“Morning!”

“…good morning.”

“Hey…uh.”

“You can’t have dogs in here. There’s a sign.”

  *gasp*

   * cough*cough*COUGH*

“Mercy and Cheyenne?”

“You’re the only other people here…

“…so I have to assume-“

“Yes! Hi! Wow, come on, yes! Come sit!”

“So! It’s so great to meet you – so, uh, sorry if this seems a little formal, well not this place, but like - oh I’m Cheyenne, by the way…so like, meeting outside of the radio station –“

“…I just needed to make sure you were like, you know, ‘normal’, and that we could have a, you know, little meetup before we go to the station, seeing as how that will be your home now too-“

“Riverblossom Hills. That’s farm country.

…

Kind of a rough place to grow up, things being as they are – were – after the fall.”

“Mercy!”

“No, it’s okay. It’s a fair question.”

“It was a rough place to grow up. I imagine anyplace is right now. I was hungry a lot.”

“Riverblossom Hills is pretty far from here. How did you get here?”

…

“I walked.”

“What?!”

"Well! There’s no one I could catch a ride with, and I can’t drive. So, I walked.”

…

“That’s…that’s so far…”

“And you didn’t encounter any danger? Wasn’t it cold?”

“Oh! Well, Ibrahim would never let anything bad happen to me.”

“Yeah…about that. I personally love dogs, Mercy does too, but there’s a, uh, local, uh, criminal element, that uh, takes issue with uh…dogs.”

…

“Hm. I see. Well, Ibrahim can protect himself.”

“Uh, yeah! And stay out!”

“Uh, wow, he’s uh, well trained.”

“So did he like…where…did he-“

“Like I said, Ibe knows how to protect himself! He’ll come find me later. Probably after the sun goes down.”

…

“Well, let’s get on with the interview then?”

“So! I know that you’d done some audio-visual classes in high school. And you said that you were able to bring some cassettes from home?”

“Yeah! I have the tracklist - I didn’t want to risk taking them with all me, all the way here in the snow. Hang on.”

“Oh wow! You’ve got some David Bowie? And not that 80’s saxophone crap either…uh, Wagner? Sure, we can do that for our classical music mixes…I’ve never heard of Blonde Redhead but uh, sounds cool…oh, what’s this? ‘L. Broadsheet Summer Mix #3’?”

“Oh, that’s my dad’s! He left behind a lot of what is now my cassette collection. It’s all unlabeled tracks. But it’s like…some Silver Jews-esque guys, some indie-folk stuff, uh one song that sounds like Bjork but isn’t Bjork?”

           “Great!...oh, Kool and the Gang! Nice!….um, Mother Earth’s Plantasia?”

“Oh! Yeah, that one is more nostalgic for me…I didn’t know if you’d heard of it, but it was apparently music to play for plants to listen to? My grandmother loved it, she was nuts for plants.”

“Well, cool! We don’t mind the weird stuff at Pitstop Radio.”

“So. Sam Poole finally made an honest woman out of Saskia? About time.”

“Shh! Knock it off.”

“I like that Saskia is happy. Oliver never made a move.”

“Serves him right.”

“Oh Tatiana, don’t encourage her.

…

In addition to the very best music Pitstop Valley can offer, we report honest, unbiased news at Pitstop Radio. Not gossip.”

“What, like how Wendy Waters’ cat got out again? Or how someone claims they saw bats flying over the old Indiana theater?”

“Boooring.”

~~~

"Hello?"

"Hello."

[likesrandomstuff]

Avalance Fic Recommendations Part 4

The final part of this series. Thanks to everyone who reblogged and liked, and a huge shout-out to @heywhereisperry who encouraged and motivated me into doing this.

As I said in Part 1, feel free to add any more stories you think should be recognised to any of these posts, and my ask box is open if you would like more detail on anything.

Part 1: Bite Sized

Part 2: Snacks

Part 3: Meals

Banquets (Over 75,000 words)

When you do not have anything you need to do in the next couple of days

You're My Miracle by bihexualmess

My tags: Ava is FBI, Sara is a Private Investigator, Rip brings Sara on for a case

This just got updated the other week and ruined multiple nights of sleep for me. At almost 350k words, still going, I don’t know how to explain without spoiling stuff that happens a long way in. There are so many layers to both Ava and Sara here, and the trauma, and the issues, and the fact they will not talk to each other about anything. I jumped on this a bit late, as the title and description didn’t grab me, but oh boy, I was missing out. I did get to read a heap of it in one go, but that doesn’t help the slow burn. I would start this even though it’s still a WIP, just because it will take you a while, to read, and also the storylines need time to settle in, because they are heavy, but just amazing. It is now the longest Avalance fic with the latest update.

this is the way that we love (like it's forever) by CoffeeAndArrows, moonlitprincess

My tags: College Avalance dated and broke up, five years later they meet again, Ava’s dating someone else

This fic had me crying in the lunchroom during my second week of work because I couldn’t not read during my lunch break, and it was hitting me so hard. That was after starting it at 10pm, reading to 2am, sleeping until 6am, reading until 11am a couple of days before. Warning for major character deaths; the funeral for one is alluded to in the description. If anyone says something bad about Jordan, I will not be happy; one of the best original characters I have ever read in a fic. Sara’s not in a great place initially, but she gets there. And there’s some cute flashbacks to college Legends too.

you make me smile (please stay for a while now) by CoffeeAndArrows, moonlitprincess

My tags: High School Rivals AU, Ava’s class president, Sara is the superstar soccer captain, they have more in common than they thought

I just looked at the word count for this, and it must be the first time I have, because wow! It is a journey! There’s a couple of prequel, sequel and interjection stories in this universe too. Ava has to deal with her family not being super supportive when she comes out. Sara has to deal with Laurel struggling and their mum having a clear favourite (Laurel). Most of the Legends have really great arcs in here as well. Ava’s family is great. I wanna hang out with her little sister. Don’t be like 2018 me who gives up after the first chapter because they are mad about what Laurel is going through. She’s fine, and there’s a heap of great Sara and Laurel moments. I recently re-read the last 10 chapters, and I still couldn’t stop myself from reading like it was the first time.

i am who you used to love (and you are just a memory) by justpalsbeingals

My tags: The Vow AU, but Ava makes some better choices early on, they’re married, Ava gets into an accident and loses all memory of Sara

I hate the movie this fic is based on. The movie’s fine, and it was a delight seeing Tatiana Maslany in it while I was watching Orphan Black, but basically it is my worst-case scenario, losing my memory. The fact that this fic kept me hooked despite that, is a testament to the quality. The fic itself says “light angst”, I say it’s much, much heavier than that, but that’s just me. Warning, there are some intense twists in here, and everyone is a bit OOC to me, memory loss being considered, which might not be your thing.

and i will stumble and fall (i'm still learning to love) by lucylikestowrite

My tags: SwanQueen kid fic AU, yes, I know go with me on this, Ava adopted Sara’s unexpected baby, said kid finds Sara years later

In general, as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t like kid fics. Fics with future children coming back to meet their parents, or the couple going into the future? Some of my favourites ever. This has no time travel, but I trust Lucy. This story is under 75k, but the sequel is almost as long, so combined they’re over. The sequel is a WIP. I didn’t watch Once Upon a Time, but it’s the plot of the start of that, except the gay actually happens. There are a lot of issues our girls have to work through here, but the kid is so cute.

and we could try by plinys

My tags: it’s a story mostly told on twitter through fake screen shots of social media, Sara drunk messages Ava, Ava doesn’t block her

I’m sure this format of storytelling is not for everyone, and that’s okay! I was so confused by it at first. I would recommend starting with the shorter one, I can be your hero (in Part 2), just to see if you like it, before jumping into this. I read this when the epilogue, the fic, was released, and I was up until 5am because I couldn’t stop. It became part of my personality. Story wise, Sara and Ava are on different coasts, but both know Nate, Ray and Nora. Ray and Nora get engaged, and Avalance have to deal with planning that wedding, and whatever is going on with them.

take my hands now by plinys

My tags: Another Social Media twitter AU, Sara is The Canary, Ava is trying to arrest vigilantes, Nate accidently gives Ava Sara’s number

Another brilliant twitter story. Some of our gang is trying to arrest the other half. Sara knows who Ava is, Ava doesn’t know that Sara is the person she’s chasing. Everyone has public twitter accounts. Sara actually gets [spoiler villain] to stop an attack by sending them money for a drink.

your eyes, they shine so bright by plinys

My tags: Social Media AU, everyone works for not Buzzfeed, a colab series is pitched, Sara and Ava’s teams have to work together

Ava makes factual videos, Sara does not, they are forced to work together. Nate is everyone’s boss technically, but they do what they want. Nate and Ava are non-biological siblings, and Satan Camp is a running gag. Oh, fake dating is in there too!

right to the top, don't hold back by SJAandDWfan

My tags: American Ninja Warrior AU, Sara’s a veteran and the Legends train together, Ava’s a rookie, rivals to training partners to friends to …

I re-read this every year when the new Australian season comes out. It’s so burned into my brain that when I was watching the speed climbing at the Olympics I genuinely thought “I wonder how Amaya would go in this?”. Amaya’s pre-Ninja experience is rock climbing in this fic. I learnt so much about Ninja Warrior and how the show (at least in this universe) works, and it’s fascinating. Would recommend watching some clips if you’re unfamiliar with the concept. The story goes pretty in detail about the courses. For recommendations, either Jessie Gaff, who was a S1 Supergirl stuntwoman, or Australia’s own Olivia Vivian, who is just stages better than our next female.

biding our time (until tomorrow) by TheTruthAboutLove

My tags: Period setting AU, Ava’s too noble for her own good, Oliver’s dad is the villain

This was a really cool experiment. Basically, told in lots of mini chapters like a soap opera. I do not know much about this period of American history, but it did not matter. A lot of different Arrow-verse peeps show up along the way. I’m sure I complained out loud “you’re allowed to want things Ava!” at some point. There’s an attempt for fake dating, and it’s not the homophobia but the second daughter problem that gets them.

Click here to see all the parts

[the-official-account]

Chapter 3: waistcoat

"That's it," Xbala says, leaning a massive hand onto Spar's desk. "You're taking me out to lunch."

Spar looks up from triple-checking his triplicate, and cocks an eyebrow. "Isn't it my celebration day?"

"Yes. And you're a weirdo who likes taking people out to lunch. So get up. We're going. You pick where — And do not sigh at me. If I have to hear you sigh one more time, I'm asking for a department transfer.”

Spar feels himself take a deep inhale, and stops himself, holding his breath as he locks eyes with one deeply amused Xbala.

"Fine," he says, careful of his air.

Spar takes his jacket and heads for the stairs, knowing the elevator is uncomfortable for Xbala's stature. He doesn't look back, certain she's trailing behind, because he knows her. And because she knows him, he's smiling. He does like taking people to lunch.

As they walk the busy avenue outside HQ, Spar tells Xbala about the place he's found nearby. Aimed at Crocadilians — and altered of predatory natures, though not advertised as such — where the food comes on a rotating buffet of many, little enchanted dishes you've gotta catch before you can eat. Xbala's face is sometimes unreadable, so Spar pretends to glance over his shoulder to check the movement of her tail is excited rather than offended, and he guessed correctly.

"Cool," Xbala says neutrally, but he knows.

The place is cozy, with high ceilings and dark-wood decor, orange lights hidden in the recesses of heavy foliage and velvet curtains. A mouth-watering smell of ginger and frying meat is wafted around by large, quiet fans in the ceiling. An attendant waves at them to seat themselves and Spar chooses a booth for two. They haven't sat down before Xbala snatches a saucer off the line, bringing it up to her face to examine the twiddling porcelain legs.

"That's realistic," Xbala says appreciatively, setting the plate down. At their table, the legs go stiff and still. "The city approved this?"

"Yeah, I checked. They're charming and they seem harmless enough. I wouldn't have come if not. Would've hated to report the place," Spar makes half hearted swipes at what looks like a bowl of French onion, letting it evade his grasp. Xbala grabs it with a flick of her arm too fast for Spar to really see, and taps it on the table to paralyze it, sliding it his way.

Spar grins at her. "Thanks."

"How was your break?" Xbala asks. "You did take a break, right?"

"Oh yeah. Went somewhere with some friends, the usual," Spar says, and winks.

"Ah," there's amusement in her eyes, then a moment of brief surprise as a perfectly portioned section of the dish comes away under her tooth with ease. She chews — Spar watches, equally pleased with his choice of restaurant— before she continues. "I'm still curious about them, I'll admit."

"You've met one, topside."

"Who?"

Spar shrugs. "You know, I find myself forgetting… as an investigator, I'm just so bad with names…You'll just have to head down with me sometime and figure it out yourself…You're cool."

Xbala grins, and snatches up two shallow bowls of something fizzy and sweet-smelling for the both of them.

The chatter is easy. Much of it is reminiscing, over Clovenheart and cases before that. Spar makes a mental note of how many times the name "Anya" floats between them with a mix of dread and interest. Yes, she's good. Yes, back at work. Yes, she's pretty easy to contact, working in Cindershore and all. Then the conversation turns, and Xbala leans forward onto her elbows.

"You know we want what's best for you."

"Show yourself, Tatiana. Whatever my aunts paid you I'll double it."

Xbala rolls her eyes. "I'm not joking. I'm glad to support you, and I'm used to your…You know, behavior."

Spar searches intently for another little bowl of soup, not meeting her eyes. "I know."

"But I want what…I want you to be happy. Things change, and I won't always—" Xbala must catch the intent, panicked way he looks at her, because she cuts herself off. "Forget it. Forget I said anything."

"No, what do you mean by that?" Spar presses.

"It's nothing."

"You aren't doing something dangerous are you?" Spar laughs, not out of humor. "Because you don't get to die on me—you don't get to die without me. If you need help with something—"

"This is exactly what I mean!" Xbala says, them glances over her shoulder and lowers her voice, mindful of other patrons. "This is what I mean. You can't keep doing that, you can't sacrifice the world's problems away, Spar. Don't you give a shit about the people around you?"

"Of course I fucking do—"

"Than think about how I'd feel if something happened to you, okay? You scare me. You scare us, all the time. And we want…" her nostrils flare as she leans back in her seat. "I'm not gonna push you, okay? I just wanted to try and…explain."

"Explain what?"

"It's nothing."

Spar searches Xbala's face, but it's back to careful neutrality. He toys with his food a moment, waiting for her to finish up. When Xbala doesn't reach for anything else, pulls out his wallet.

She lays a hand on his. "Your celebration day."

"But—"

"Don't make me fight you on this, because I will. I can hide cash in places you won't find for years." Spar would be more irritated if she wasn't smiling. After all that, it's a win in his book. "Make things easy for yourself."

Spar's chuckles. "Fine," He says. "Fine. I'm probably gonna walk ahead. See if I can catch Jack to ask for a case."

Xbala sighs, but doesn't argue.

Back at S.U.I.T.S, Spar walks right past their desks, yielding only to send a glare at his paperwork. He charges right up to the glass windows of Jack's office, the blinds cracked, spots Jack sitting there, paws perched on an open file, and raises his fist to knock.

Then he spots Vellum, turning to pace towards him, and all the fire under Spar's feet goes out.

Vellum's brow is furrowed, his eyes tracing nonsense shapes onto the floor in front of his feet as his free hand waves wildly, each movement of his cane coming down with a firm thump.

Spar can make out the basic words, "case," "assignment," "radio," and what is probably "bullshit", but the details are lost to him. Spar thinks about going back to wait at his desk, but then he notices the discarded jacket on the back of a chair opposite Jack, and Vellum's shirt sleeves, which have been — not rolled — but pushed carelessly back. When he turns to pace the other way, Spar get's an eyeful of perfectly tailored, pinstripe waistcoat, belted tight.

Spar's hand falls loose by his side. "Damn," he whispers to himself, then glances around to check no one one overheard his moment of weakness.

Spar tells himself he's worried, and that Vellum look's like he's about to finish up and leave, perfectly reasonably excuses to stay and stare. Not because the sight of Vellum so passionate is addicting.

He resists the urge to press his ear to the glass, that'd be too obvious, but there is a frustrating moment when Vellum turns away again and he's hard to hear. Then he stop, turns, and faces Jack.

Spar is pretty sure he hears the words "Agent Felspar."

No, he's certains he hears "Agent Felspar."

Spar knocks.

Vellum open's the door with a frown weighing heavily on his face, then they lock eyes and it lightens as he lets out a surprised "ah."

"I came to ask for a case?" Spar says, half to Vellum and half to Jack, behind him.

"Agent Felspar, step inside. Agent Vellum," Vellum turns to look over his shoulder, "Please go get yourself established. I'll be right there."

"Of course, Jack," Vellum says, walking past him without another word.

When Spar looks over his shoulder to watch him go, Vellum is watching him back. He gives a smile and a little wave, which Spar, of course, returns.

"He left his jacket," Spar says in lieu of a greeting.

"How long were you waiting there to know that?" Jack asks.

Spar shrugs, grinning. "I came to ask for a case. I haven't had anything assigned all day."

Jack jumps down from his chair and ambles toward his filing cabinet, placing his front paws on two peddles at his base. He pressed the left one until a marker moves to the top drawer, and then presses them both to make the door open, continuing to flip through the files as he stares up through the drawer's clear base.

"I may not have anything for you," Jack says. "Things have been slow."

"Things are never slow, especially not after—"

"Maybe this." Jack presses both peddle again, and a file drops down into his open mouth. He waddles back to his desk, and flips it open. Spar steps closer.

"Beginning next week, our agents in Stoneloft should be done with the first phase of their inquiry into—"

"Next week?"

Jack levels him with a blank stare, and Spar corrects himself, taking the chair that isn't occupied by Vellum's jacket.

"What else am I supposed to do for a week?"

"We could use assistance in archive analysis. We have two employees on parental leave."

"Oh, Daniel and Jonah had their baby?"

"Yes."

"Good for them, I'll send a basket — But I'm not really good with standing around holding clip boards. You can't exactly question a pile of mysterious gems."

"You could take more leave?"

Spar just stares.

Jack heaves a long sigh, staring past him for a moment. "Okay." He says. "If you insist on keeping busy, I may have something for you to do."

"Thank every fucking goddex."

Jack huffs a laugh. "Takes Vellum's jacket. Come with me."

Five times Spar noticed Vellum's style + one time Vellum noticed him back

Because if I wanna have mindless fluffy shit to read, first I gotta write it.

Read on AO3 or below, except on Tumblr I can't be damned to worry about formatting or notes. Tws in tags.

Chapter 1: Pins

It feels different to be back at S.U.I.T.S again, like slipping into a pair of shoes Spar hadn’t worn for a while and remembering, in a moment of pleasant surprise, that he’d already broken them in. The bustle of too-early risers follows Spar off the street and through the antechamber. In the lobby, sunlight leaps through rows and rows of square windows, hitting the floor tiles at just the right angle to shower the room in warm iridescence. A smile reached Spars lips without his thinking. Things feel right.

“Agent Spar!” A voice calls. Naomi, his favorite security guard, an insectile altered. “How was Cloven Heart? I hear you had quite the time.”

“I couldn't complain about the company, at least. Visiting family was nice.," Spars says. "Though I’m glad to be back.” He accepts a firm clap on the shoulder, and gestures Naomi on hir way.

But si doesn’t move, letting hir hand linger as she stares at him with a knowing set of compound eyes. Si takes a long sip of hir coffee. “The company, huh?”

Spar hesitates, long enough that a human carrying a tower of file boxes has to swerve suddenly to get out of their way. Spar only just manages to catch the top box when it slips, and tuck it under his arm. The human slips away, oblivious.

“I, uh, don’t know what to tell you,” He lies. “My aunts are sweet, I’m gonna miss Hilde’s cooking every day ‘til I head back.”

“Some of us can see in infrared, you know." Naomi points a spindly finger at hir eye. "Even if most folks can’t tell, you’re blushing.” With a wink, si finally, mercifully gets on hir way.

Spar watches hir go, and only when he’s absolutely sure si’s turned a corner does he allow his grin to shrink to something small and private. There is someone he’s looking forward to seeing, today.

But Agent Vellum is nowhere to be found among the swarm of field agents that ambush him when Spar steps off the elevator. There's only a split second of peace for his eyes to rake through the crowd before Spar feels a familiar grip on his waist. He pulls up his knees just in time to avoid kicking anyone as Xbala lifts him overhead, to much applause. Someone grabs the file box from his hands, and Soare shrugs it off.

Xbala's hollering something that shifts rapidly between aggrandiosities, wordless, excited sounds and the chorus "that's my partner!" And Spar is laughing without being entirely sure why. He shakes any hand that grabs his and responds to the statements he can't quite hear over the din with a "thank you, thank you," and a few well placed winks. Someone hands him a shot glass of clear liquid, to which he says, "What time is it?" And hands it to the person calling something like "if you won't-" He endures bumps, and shoulder rubs, and one brave soul ruining the perfect coif of his hair — he barely spares a thought to the knowledge it'll dry all wrong. Spars with his people again, one group of them, anyway. And things feel right.

Eventually Agent's trickle away, and Xbala sets Spar back on his feet. He gives her a glare, the bite of which is probably dulled by the aforementioned bad hair.

She shrugs, "Wasn't my plan."

"Yeah, and Mayor Governor Thorne's alive and well," Spar gripes light-heartedly, following her back to their adjoined desks. "Who else could it be?"

Xbala's incredulous look is enough to suggest an answer, but the presence of two travel cups on his desk confirm it. Spar snatches one at random and holds it close. Close enough to his face to the infrared appearance of his cheeks. Underneath — those he's distracted momentarily by the incredible smell of oolong — is a note.

Sorry, I'm not very big on crowds, but I know you are. We did good. Welcome back. Let's talk soon. X

-V

Spar keeps the tea near his face while he slips his coffee, and only puts it down to take a closer look at the note, reading it over a few times, and checking the back.

Only then, when he looks up, does Spar notice Vellum. He stands with his back toward the room, head bent far down in that way that can only mean he's speaking to Jack, who's hidden from this angle. As if on cue, Vellum glances over his shoulder. He's smiling around a cup, identical to the two on Spar's desk. He blinks, once, slowly, in greeting. He looks…nice.

A moment too late to be smooth, Spar holds up the note.

Vellum closes his eyes, and shakes his head fondly.

Spar takes a half step forward, and Vellum glances at Jack.

It's pointed — not just yet.

So Spar nods, and stares, and feels his cheeks start to ache with the force of his face's determination to make him look like a lovesick idiot first thing in the morning. As Vellum turns away, with the briefest expression of regret, Spar is struck by the slight curl of his hair, how it falls freely behind his ears and sways when he moves. It's not moussed back, he realizes, Vellum uses pins. He always used pins, before pieces of their luggage disappeared in the train incident.

Vellum is back at S.U.I.T.S, back in Vassa Natura. He looks comfortable. He looks like himself. He looks right.

There's something about the mental image of it — Vellum holding his hair back, lips curled carefully around the delicate metal, placing each pin with that expression of absolute focus Spar finds so adorable. Spar can't help but imagine the scene in his apartment's bathroom, Vellum making eye contact in the mirror, keeping his lips pressed tight together while his eyes narrow in a smile. Maybe Spar would brush his hair. Help somehow. Heck, learning to give a Sorel braided pigtails without yanking her out of his lap had been a challenge, braids on Vellum would be easy. It would give him a reason to run his fingers through the salt and pepper strands, to feel Vellum lean into his palms, his shoulders going slack with a sigh that filled Spar's chest with an infinite sense of warmth.

Spar forces himself to look anywhere else in the room, sinking into his chair with a long-suffering exhale. Xbala is staring over her spectacles when he gathers the wherewithal to notice.

Spar raises an eyebrow, but she only goes back to reading her report, letting out an amused huff.

[princessfbi]

I know I already asked for Maddie, but after that take on eddie, I really wanna know about your vision on Shannon!

Well, honestly I'd love to read your take on every single character, but.... we'll get there 😂

OK this is so late and I'm so sorry. Our dearly departed: Shannon Diaz

How I feel about this character

I...

Ok, here's the thing. I don't like Shannon. But my dislike for Shannon doesn't negate just how important she is either.

Because I really, really LIKE my dislike for Shannon and here's why.

The really cool thing about Shannon is that she's one of the few morally grey female characters that we've seen in mainstream media. Often times with female characters (particularly the side characters) you find yourself looking at ranges of two types: The Angel or the Shrew. Both end up as a result of kind of lazy writing in my opinion and make characters into cardboard cut outs. It's an inherent form of sexist objectification to characters that aren't really supposed to be that important and are more plot points than they are characters.

And unfortunately, this is more apparent with female characters. Look at Ana for example. She borders onto The Angel end of the spectrum. The reason I personally don't see any chemistry with Eddie and Ana is because Ana is being (perhaps intentionally) put up on this pedestal as this Angel archetype. She's the dotting girlfriend who fits perfectly and causes no waves in the relationship. It's so jarring because, for the most part, 911 does a pretty good job about not falling too far onto this spectrum. Even Ali had a nice balance and I think even Tatiana, though closer to shrew, was written in a way that we at least understood her motives. This happens with male characters as well ie the dumb hot guy that always ends up being the butt of a joke.

But Shannon is grey. Shannon is complex. She made some bad, selfish decisions but that doesn't make her a bad person. It doesn't make her evil! It makes her deeply human. We see her pain. We see her struggling with guilt and being overwhelmed with what it means to be a wife, a mother, and a daughter all at once. Shannon was being pulled into a million different places and her biggest issue with Eddie was that she didn't feel like she was being heard.

There's something I think a lot of us could really get behind because at some point in our lives we also have felt like we haven't been heard.

Do I agree with her choices? Absolutely not. Do I think it was kind of childish to run away and stay away? Yes. Do I think she's an evil person? Not at all.

I like not liking Shannon because she's a well rounded character with flaws and strengths. She loved her family but she didn't feel loved in return.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

No one... cus she's dead. RIP.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

She be dead.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't actually think she and Eddie would've co-parented well had she survived. This goes back to what I said on my Eddie character analysis. Shannon desperately wanted a partner in Eddie (rightfully so) but I don't think she realized that she wasn't all that willing to be a partner to Eddie in return. I think in a lot of ways, Shannon is similar to Eddie's parents. She didn't listen to what Eddie was trying to say. She kept pushing him when he needed space (showing up to his work to discuss just because she knew it would put him in a tight spot). She's been pushing him for a while (as seen in Eddie Begins) and when he would finally push back, she would shut him down. She would lash out when Eddie would finally snap.

But I think the reason we have a hard time seeing those similarities is because unlike Eddie's parents, we see Eddie accept this lack of support from Shannon. Again not to bring back the Perks of Being a Wallflower quote but it's a good one: We accept the love we think we deserve.

Shannon didn't feel like she was being heard. She didn't feel like Eddie had her back (even though I think it's because he didn't make these big grand gestures to prove countless times that he did.)

But I don't think Eddie felt like he deserved to be heard either.

Shannon's needs were not being met and it was tearing her down but I don't think she was willing to meet Eddie's needs either. I think she got used to the fact that Eddie would often swallowed what he would need and move on. His inability to process his trauma but rather sweep it under the rug both frustrated Shannon but also gave her an excuse to lash out that I don't think she realized she was taking advantage of. Eddie could "suck it up" and I think part of Shannon's resentment was that she wasn't able to do that like he could. So, rather than saying, "hey let's talk about this" it became a point of contention between them.

I think the thing that Eddie and Shannon loved about each other the most was how much they loved their child. But they would've needed to do some serious work on how they respected one another to be able to be coparents because their relationship should not/could not survive simply on the shoulders of Christopher.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I think I wish we had gotten to see her acknowledge that Eddie was not completely at fault for the breakdown of their relationship. We got to see her realize that she needed to focus on bettering herself for the sake of her own sanity and to strengthen her ability to be a mother again but... Eddie feels so deeply at fault for the way things went. Shannon was so broken down by the end of Eddie Begins but I think Eddie is still sort of cracking. I think the way Shannon treated him (and the way his parents treated him) makes it hard for Eddie to feel like he deserves better. Had they had Shannon acknowledging her part in breaking Eddie down then I think I could've gotten behind the idea that they would've been good coparents but alas... we did not get to see that.

Give Me A Character and I’ll Break Them Down

[reginaofdoctorwho]

ok so i started this as a draft days ago and barely remember where i was going with this idea but i tried to fill it out a little more. basically it’s just that anytime Curt says he misses being a spy he misses being a spy with Owen or the spy he was with Owen. so probably everything is what everyone knows already

Curt ties being a spy with Owen. completely, intrinsically, whatever, okay?? in Spy Again Curt says “Owen would want me to do this”, and lists

hop in a jet and fly again

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again

wear a suit and tie again

drink martinis and drive again

get by again

feel like a real important guy again

as what he’s going to do as a spy. let’s check off what happens before Owen’s reveal (i’m trying to include some)

hop in a jet and fly again

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again (i’m trying to be nice here he’s probably doing his best despite what happens)

wear a suit and tie again (literally part of the mission)

drink martinis and drive again (he’s sobering up)

get by again (barely my dude)

feel like a real important guy again

which, decent, but our dude is also having gay flashbacks, messing up a very simple and clear mission, and mistakes flirting for fighting (to quote my friend “Amelie” “he’s,,, so bad at pretending to be straight”) this all being with him having been one of the greatest spies, to the point of recognition years after he retired.

and post Owen’s reveal

hop in a jet and fly again (we’re going to count whatever that in

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again

wear a suit and tie again (i mean he doesn’t need it??)

drink martinis and drive again (ok i don’t know maybe?? he does shots before and THEN chases Owen and then he’s drinking whiskey when he meets with Tatiana)

get by again

feel like a real important guy again (look at him at the end

more below the cut because this is already long and it’s going to be even longer

Okay, to be more in depth, (this’ll sound like a lot of my other posts) at the beginning Curt Mega is truly a great spy. yes, he was captured by Oleg, but the entire interaction with him Curt is still in control. he mocks Oleg, breaks his fingers, hits the bat back at him, all while holding a conversation (and flirting) with Owen. he’s confident the entire time, he’s willing to go against plans and is overconfident to a fault. While Cynthia is somewhat rude and pays more attention to Owen in the beginning (”finally someone who knows what the hell they’re doing!”) but i think she’d treat him the same as Curt if he ever did decide to work for her. it’s partially a “bring in new talent” and partially a “keep the old talent from being overconfident” thing. i don’t think it’s an actual mark on what pre-fall Curt was like as an agent. but either way, their record was six minutes to get out of a building presumably set to explode (or implode. fuck if i know) and they were still both confident and eager to lower the time even more. and they would have accomplished it, if not for Owen falling. what i’m saying is pre-canon Curt was a very effective agent, was good at his job, and was likely almost never out of his depth.

in Spy Again, he’s talking about becoming a spy again, but he links this to Owen, believing that being a spy again would enable him to work past Owen’s death (”but maybe this time’ll be different, it might be what I need”). he’s haunted by the “memories” not “memory”, which could be taken as any time he and Owen worked together, not just when he died. he wants to be a spy, but even stating that and the things he misses about being a spy (above lists) starts to remind him of Owen (”and i know just where i’m goin’, me and my partner Owen!”). he sees himself post-fall, with his beard, alcoholism, and trying and failing to improve (”i do what i can, try to make a plan, to be a better man, but nothing seems to stick”) and again relates it to Owen (”Owen please, if you could see what’s become of me, what would you think?”). Curt decides Owen would want him to be a spy again (”i once was a spy. i think you’d want me to spy again”) and repeats it to make it stick (”Owen would want me to do this”), and that is what truly starts him off again. or so it would seem.

in his first mission back, Curt can’t start again. he has to talk himself into doing his job again (”looks like that someone has to be me. you came here to do this, so do the job, stop acting like a little pussy”), and then mostly rides along on what Tatiana does anyway (”i second that motion!) a far cry from the beginning Curt who did his job eagerly. and we are again reminded that Curt was a great spy when Sergio recognizes Curt on sight and says “is that Agent Curt Mega? ... i can’t believe this, the most famous spy in the world busting my arms deal. hey, would you mind signing something...” followed by DMA immediately being able to disarm Curt with ease, showing the contrast. Curt does recognize the baked goods are the way to hurt Sergio, but also loses the bomb to Tatiana

Curt is, at this point, still waiting [in a way] for a partner. it is not implied in the beginning that he and Owen worked together every mission, rather the opposite in fact (“MI6 didn’t tell me you were on this mission”), but he still seems to almost expect a partner, and goes off what Tatiana says even though they’re not working together, and they both train their weapons on the baked goods.

Cynthia points out that he’s been on an early retirement for four years, which Curt is very quick to correct as a grieving period. his hands shake during Cynthia’s drill, he fumbles the gun, and he has none of the grace or style of the beginning. when Cynthia mentions Owen and Curt’s alcoholism (”i remember when i got the call that Owen died and you lived, i screamed into Susan’s neck for fifteen seconds, then i locked it up and moved on. you on the other hand, you drank yourself to rock bottom...”) Curt doesn’t even look at her. when she poisons him, he’s still able to repeat back (in essence) what she said, showing that the spy of the past is still there, deep down.

Eyes on the Prize II is the (i think) first time we see Gay Flashback-Owen. he is notably not slipping and dying, as would likely be going through Curt’s head if he were haunted by that specific memory alone (going back to the “haunted by any memory of Owen”) thing i mentioned, but is instead also saying “keep your eyes on the prize” with the ensemble, again lining up Owen with Curt’s idea of being a spy.

during the casino scene Curt is clumsy with his acting, and is trying to get information from Tatiana (it’s all very awkward. “make it a white russian, hold the vodka, please, thank you so much” “excellent choice. one vodka martini bone dry, and one glass of cream”), but as soon as another person joins it (Dick Big), the relationship between them turns from enemies trying to get information from the other to an uneasy team (”i’m hardly alone, the woman and i were just about to-”), with Curt even giving a russian toast, and although Tatiana definitely notices when Curt is given a gun by the dealer, she politely declines to mention it, and when Curt offers her his arm while Dick is off finding a waiter, she smiles. and while it could be argued that it is just them working undercover, this did feel more genuine than when they are alone and back in their assumed positions (”besides, without that horrible face fungus, what will i have to yank?” “we are talking about fighting, right?”) Tatiana also recognizes that Curt is alone in more ways than one, both without backup and without anyone he can trust fully. in the short time they’ve been together, they already are close enough to friends that Tati apologizes for bringing him to DMA

despite the two of them being on opposite sides during this encounter, they are already beginning to act as partners/friends, and Curt takes her betrayal more personally than he should have

i’d also like to take this moment to point out that DMA almost instinctively stabs the Nazi henchman for saying “seems his noggin’s a bit dense!” of Curt

during Torture Tango, it seems like he’s having a natural reaction to getting tortured. Curt is nervous, he’s afraid, he’s ready to die (”you sick bastard, why don’t you just kill me already?”/”i can’t deny that i’m gonna die”). but this is NOT how the torture scene at the beginning went, even before he knew Owen was there. at the beginning scene Curt is arrogant, throwing Oleg’s words back at him, breaking his fingers, keeping a cool tone and staying in control the whole time. this time he barely talks to the DMA, he doesn’t fight back, he just accepts it. also, he sings “i once was a spy but i won’t be a spy again” and “thought i could say goodbye, but i can’t lie i wanna be a spy again” despite the fact that he is a spy again. he says he wants to be a spy again, but he already is a spy again, what he’s missing is Owen. he was once a spy with a partner he loved and could trust completely, and the partner felt the same way about him. that is what i believe enabled him to be such a good spy, he had someone who knew everything about him, being gay included, and he was able to act more confidently as a result. what he misses is less of the “go get the girl and go save the world” and more seeing his partner even for short periods and having the confidence that comes from being known. also, curt is on the verge of death and is still thinking of Owen (”doesn’t even matter if i killed my best friend”)

back to Tatiana, who’s having her own crisis. “is Mega my enemy do i let him die? i’ve got to think about my family ‘cause no one’s looking out for me...” she, at this point, has not interacted with Curt beyond the arms deal, the casino, and betraying him to von Nazi and DMA. despite this she still sees him as a possible ally, and ultimately does decide to betray von Nazi and DMA for him (to his understandable confusion). when she unties him, he only calms down when she holds her arm out to him, but he becomes so distracted by it and Gay Flashback-Owen that he doesn’t notice DMA is waking up until he’s already been shot.  i’d also like to point out that Gay Flashback-Owen is doing the same arm out pose Tatiana is doing while holding Curt’s arm

end of act 1. can i get a wahoo?

when Curt is with Barb, he acknowledges that he’s fucked things up, but still catches himself on saying he is a [great] spy again ”i was, i am, supposed to be the best”

i think during the gala he is trying to be the Curt from the past while ignoring why he was that way. he insists on going rogue, he confidently (and foolishly) announces that he is a spy, the prince will be assassinated, and that the Russians and Americans know, despite the fact that it doesn’t seem like a good idea if thought about at all. With blowing up the facility at the beginning there was some merit to it. they had been seen, they stole the plans and possibly wished to muddle why they were there, the facility might have had more plans they didn’t know about and they were already on a time limit. they also had a limit on the tech items they had (no rocket shoes :’( ).

when Tatiana rescues him again and takes him to his mother’s safe house, who mentions a “constant parade of drinking buddies, for poker or wrestling or whatever you boys do in the rumpus room” and while we could make an argument about Curt trying to move on after the fall, i think this youtube comment on the video is a fucking treasure and i will forever remember it.

i’d also like to point out now that Tatiana is truly the only character that i believe could “replace” Owen for Curt. he needs someone in his life who can know even the parts he hides from those closest to him, someone on equal footing with him, someone who doesn’t idolize him, and someone who works well with him. he can’t tell his mother, because she wants grandchildren, she wants a daughter-in-law, she wants to plan a wedding. it can’t be Cynthia, she’s his boss, it’s set during the Lavender Scare when he could lose his job for being gay. it can’t be Barb, who has an intense crush on him, and even when she does act in a platonic way, she is willing to risk her job based on the fact that it’s him (in an almost awestruck way). Tatiana is unimpressed with Curt when they first meet, they become friends quickly, work together to stop von Nazi and DMA, they are both spies at the top of the field, and she accepts him (”you’re cool with me?” “till the end!” “cool :)”). also, i think it’s interesting that Tatiana believes she is saving someone (her family) by leaving them behind, while Curt believed he killed someone (Owen his lover) by leaving them behind. just kinda parallels i think

before Doing This, Curt says he is is afraid that “[he’ll] never be the spy [he] once was” and that he believes he shouldn’t need anyone else. when Tatiana says he’ll get everyone who cares about him killed with his line of thinking he says the line “i already have.” explains about Owen, and adds “and that was back when I was the old Curt”.

during One More Shot, Curt acknowledges that he tried to get past missing Owen by trying not to need anyone else, which was wrong (“i used to think i could do this by myself i was fine, i didn't need any help“). this is him starting to take his friendship with Tati and being able to use it to see that while he cannot work alone, he doesn’t need one specific person to make him the man he is.

this of course promptly goes out the window when DMA is revealed to be Owen

however, Curt still calls Tatiana “partner” before going after Owen.

when he does go after Owen (One Step Ahead), he still thinks of Owen as the man from 1957 (”what happened to the man i knew?”). when Owen begins to explain, Curt tries to remind him of what they did “together. two of the greatest spies to ever live”. once again associating him and Owen together with being a spy

also, once Owen is dead (idk if i hope for real or not) again, Curt does make a change for the better. he’s able to be fairly confident around Cynthia, he tries to be enthusiastic about Barb’s tech/data analysis merge, he is able to talk about his “ex lover returned from the grave” with Tatiana. i do find it interesting though that he does not tell her about the other facilities, again taking it upon himself to fix it, and only telling her “give me a ring if you’re ever stateside”.

in a final moment, Curt is able to move on from Owen, and acknowledge “i once was a spy, i’ll always be a spy” with or without Owen.

[beviate]

The cgi in the moonknight tv series is so distracting and they depend on it too much, I know the costuming and cgi industries are different in unionization but geez the actual moonknight costume would look so cool if it wasn't CGI in every single scene he's wearing it. Just thinking about it bc it looks like it's gonna be the same thing with the she-hulk series, the cgi is very off putting to me, bring me back to the bill bixby/Lou Ferrigno era and just get a more buff lady to switch out with Tatiana Maslany when she's hulking out

[queenlilith43]

Chain of Iron Plot Rant

I wrote this back shortly after Chain of Iron came out. So be warned, it's crazy.

Tags: @apple-bottom-jeansx @the-blackdale @murderbabies @unorganisedbookshelf @revvs-trash @patalliumapples @tenacioushubb @hardlymatters @pjo-tsc-trc-otherthingstoo @wannabe-warlock @clarys-heosphoros @gabtapia

You don't have to read this if you don't want to, I was just going through my drafts and found this.

OMFG, this book. I thought I had everything planned out. I thought I knew what was going to happen.

I got three theories right, and one of them was half-right.

Let me start by saying that the plot twists were insane. I had to actually get up and take a walk around the block to process that fact that Belial had stolen Edom. WTF-out of all the dimensions in this world, why that one?

And I should have seen it coming. The foreshadowing with all the stuff about Lilith in the first chapter-it had to be there for a reason.

The random detail about the protection spell made to keep out Lilith in particular is interesting, to say the least, especially after reading City of Fallen Angels. (I have added it to my TBR list as the rest of the books on my TBR list stare at me.)

Jesse was always supposed to be a pawn for Belial. At least since he was born. That's why he couldn't be a Shadowhunter, because of the demonic essence in him. It makes a bit more sense.

When Tatiana was talking to Magnus in The Midnight Heir, he had told him to kill five Shadowhunters.

The serial killer killed five Shadowhunters.

That was supposed to bring Jesse back-as a vessel for Belial. God, that guy keeps wanting to circumvent his curse.

I don't know what the next step in Belial's plan is. But there is a high chance whatever he wants to do (most likely involving the Shadowhunters' weapons) can destroy everything the Shadowhunters are fighting for.

In first book, Belial looked like he was going to mess with the Iron Sisters. And he is closer to this by the end of Chain of Iron. So is what he doing here part diversion and part of his larger plan?

And Lilith will come back. James may have shot her, but we know demons don't like to stay down for long. (Prime example: Belial)

So . . . . Cordelia kinda made a deal with Lilith. Oh boy, this is gonna backfire.

If it was actually Wayland the Smith . . .I wouldn't be so worried. He seems like a benign character.

But it's Lilith. And Lilith is the opposite of benign. She is malignant, a force of evil.

Some part of me feels like Lilith being in this book means it's going to foreshadow something about the Wicked Powers.

What control does Lilith have over Cordelia? How does that affect her as a Shadowhunter, as a person? Will she be yet another pawn in these demon's seven-dimensional chess?

Speaking of which-James's power is super-cool. I would like to have that power, minus the possibility Belial could posses me one day.

Though the Magnus telling him how to use that power was Lilith . . . That throws me off.

How did Lilith even get into our world in this book? I know we already had to deal with her in TMI, but she was summoned by Valentine before the Sebastian insanity started. Why is she here now, and somehow knows everything about everyone?

At least I got the Cortana angel sword theory somewhat right. Cortana had a feather from Micheal-a little scary. And it had a SOUL. Though, then again, I take all this with a grain of salt, because it was Lilith telling us this.

The serial killer plot made me cry. I was not expecting Filomenia di Angelo to die. Or Elias, for that matter.

At least we know now where the "you could have saved me" quote came from.

Speaking of quotes and snippets, we got what was basically Malcolm Fade's villian origin story. And Grace told him. (Damn you, Grace!)

And I'm worried for Lucie.

This is where I finished but this should help with theories. I tagged some people to see what that think. You do not have to respond, I just think this could help in theories because these are my raw, unfiltered thoughts.