#bring back proper narratives
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Lamenting again about the lost art of multiple LI’s with substance and personality
#playchoices#pixelberry#choices#bring back actual characters with plot points and narratives#bring back proper narratives#NO MORE CUSTOMISABLE LI’S
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figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..
#to cheer me up.. i feel bad atm.. these things don't even make me feel very good tho bc i'm such a narrative/sketch-based artist..#but Proper Beautiful Finished Pieces are what grab attention and look good at the end of the year all neatly lined up lol.....#so looking at a “yearly review” where i can only choose 'the best image of the month' (??) is like...What have i even been doing...#i did a month by month look back on twt for myself instead..but even that doesn't express the quantity of comic-based stuff..#that i do put a lot of time/heart into..but alas i feel bad bringing even them back..RTing/reblogging my own art simply feels bad lol..#AND WHY IS IT ALL B&W...trying to accept that i LIKE doing that and sketching and scribbling..not like i'm trying to like..Get Artist Job..#this year was so profoundly lonely at times bc i spent all my time drawing instead of socialising and trying to find friends....#please please please have achieved more of your dreams in the future so you can look back at 2023 and think..#It was good that happened so that it got me further to the future. Or whatever i guess.....................#regardless i did have a great amount of fun drawing and improving this year and dwelling deeply & heavily on witch hat atelier.#art-wise and emotionally....march july & september were the best months i think..AUGUST WAS SO WEIRD SUMMER IS SO EVIL ALWAYS.#thank you very much if you are reading this for enjoying & leaving nice tags & such like <3 i've realised how fulfilling that is to receive#really keeps me posting stuff here instead of keeping it all to myself in my head#i wish everyone in this world could have a safe and happy end of year. i wish living in this world were easier
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this is petty n most likely an issue of ive just been exposed to entirely different shit but those posts about how people complaining about redemption arcs is bad bc its important message that people can change is just completely ignoring why people are actually complaining cause the big two examples i can think of for why people complain about redemptions are 1. the redemption is poorly written n ignores and/or retcons the previous seriousness of their wrongdoings just because the writer(s) want them to be good now n its kind of hard to do that if (for example) we take the lives they intentionally n mercilessly killed into account and 2. this character is an abuser but instead of taking accountability n bare minimum apologizing n letting their victim(s) choose whether they wish to still have them in their life the writer(s) choose a narrative where the abuser doesnt really have to change as a person they just dont abuse anyone anymore n the framing is weirdly unsympathetic to their victim(s)
#bonk.txt#annoys me even more bc of it using the good place as an example bc THE GOOD PLACE HAVE AN ABUSER WHO BECOMES A BETTER PERSON#AND IS SYMPATHETIC TO HER VICTIM FOR BEING HURT N UPSET THAT HER MOM WAS CAPABLE OF CHANGE BUT DIDNT CHANGE FOR HER#its not the concept of someone improving n growing as a person as a person that people dislike they dislike bad inconsistent writing#n (intentional or not) narratives of abuse victims having to forgive their abuser and or ignore the harm done to them!!#the elements of ''its kind of facist to not forgive people'' and ''i was kind of a shit person so its important for me to see characters#who are also kind of shit change as people'' also suck#first thing it is an actual issue that people are unforgiving n ignore how someone's changed to go after them for shit that is years old#but as already stated thats not the usual reason people complain about this shit n it feels disingenuous to bring that up#cause people thought a show you liked is badly written when that tactic is usually used to target minorities n silence them for disagreeing#with someone or being mildly annoying#usually they didn't even do anything to warrant this response n the shit being dug up to vilify them is like a nonissue twisted into harm#second thing is like ur probably perceiving urself as worse than you are you definitely never killed anyone n you most likely havent#intentionally cultivated a situation where u can get away with multiple people with no consequences ur at worst probably just an asshole#n its a weird overreaction to reach for these kinds of characters when theres more out there that resemble#ur situation n the growth u experience as a person that as a bonus are also probably better written#this is just like straight up brain vomit i i need to go back to bed n also im probably mixing posts in my head but hhh#people dont like bad writing it is mostly that simply n when its not for either of the proper reasons ive stated#then its usually related to some kind of bigotry n holding minorities to a higher standard than they would if it was just some white guy#which is still an actual issue but again unrelated to people disliking that we're capable of change#i complain about it a lot whenever a character is widely hated for at best things they'd forgive their (canonically cishet male) blorbo for#n at worst genuinely nothing just bc the character happens to be nonwhite/a woman/a kid/traumatized/not whatever's considered#to be ''palatable'' but thats a separate issue n not even the point the posts im complaining about are trying to make#the second example (in the actual post ive written n not in the tags) is probably like too specific#n also i havent like touched the thing im vaguing there in years n its how the situation was when it was last touched upon when i still#somewhat kept up to it but whatever the gist is still there even if its not one to one
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I've been thinking more abt raccoon universe Olivia again and I love her sm she's so fun imagine if your wife plagiarized years of your work and then cut you out of her life with no warning and then had the audacity to invite you to work at the company she founded on the basis of the very work she stole from you. Id have considered murder Way sooner than she did Jackie is lucky Olivia went with the thinly veiled threats route for several years before finally getting a bit bloodthirsty
#rat rambles#oni posting#raccoon uni jackie is such a desperate dumbass like girl if your ex who you stole from went this long without publically calling you out#dont fucking invite her to work under you that is not going to fix shit and in fact will make things Way worse#she Did feel incredibly guilty abt what she did to olivia but not nearly enough to have not done it and to actually try to fix shit#and she was even stupid enough to think that olivia might have been willing to let it go when she agreed to work at gravitas#olivia was still clearly pissed at her but at first she was trying to not express it directly so she wouldn't get immediately fired#she needed to become too intregral to the company and to jackies work to be easily disposable#and as she climbed the ranks and contributed more and more to gravitas she slowly became more and more aggressive towards jackie#and as jackie picked up on it more and more she began to freak out more and more#at first she tried to throw more money and resources at olivia as an extension of she shitty attempt at an apology but that didnt help ofc#in fact it mostly just made things worse for jackie as it became abundantly clear that olivia wasnt just still mad but also vengeful#she severely underestimated how much she hurt olivia both professionally and personally#because from olivias perspective jackie didnt just steal her work she also spent years love bombing her and using her only to stab her in#the back the second she stopped being useful#and jackie was the first proper friend and then girlfriend that olivia had ever had and without jackie she had no one to fall back on#and jackie knew this olivia Knows she knows#so even though it was a impulsive decision on jackie's part olivia had no way of knowing that and every reason to feel horribly betrayed#and since jackie kept doing everything except directly apologizing and making real efforts of correcting her wrongs it only strengthened#that narrative to olivia and helped bring her deep stewing rage to a roiling boil#olivia obsessive spiral would reach smth of a tipping point once she realized that jackie had become scared of her#the feeling of having that sort of power over jackie after decades of her being worlds out of reach was intoxicating#and at times olivia hated it. no matter how justified she felt there was always a part of her who hated that she had become someone who was#toying with her prey and enjoying it#but that part of her had already spent years being slowly suffocated by the rage that had come to define her life#jackie and their research weren't just important to olivia they were her Life#and with them gone and stolen from her it left her with nothing but her emotions
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ANSWERS TO AUTHOR GUESSING GAME
1: me (bittersweetResilience)
2: @consistent-chaos-corporation (TrishaCollins)
3: @paracosmicfawn (paracosmicfawn)
4: @ninadove (NinaDove)
5: @wackus-bonkus-maximus (wackus_bonkus)
6: @ultear-tigra (Ultear_Tigra)
7: @keeperofthebox (gentlefist)
After the Diamonds' Dance, Félix makes it to sunrise.
A collaborative story by, in no particular order, @ninadove, @consistent-chaos-corporation, @ultear-tigra, @wackus-bonkus-maximus, @keeperofthebox, @paracosmicfawn, and me.
#🦚#about to ramble in the tags about what i think are each of our dead giveaways#first of all i'm a pretentious mfer and i love félix and i love émotion so i started us off with some nonsense. third person limited baby#i also... love... amélie... hruuggu#next trisha slammed us with sentitwin dialogue emotionally vulnerable félix and some well needed paragraph breaks#autumn introduces nathalie and some killer imagery interspersed with more sentitwin dialogue and bonus gabriel moment#nina brings us even more absolutely beautiful dialogue and description along with a theme my seven in the morning no sleep brain#is interpreting with the queer neurodivergent sentikids lens again#wackus draws together a killer lune rouge motif as well as twin telepathy propaganda and feligami featuring her amazing way with words#ultear pulls us back into canon proper and seeds an excellent feligami idea in between a lot of relationship reflection and exploration#and peyton takes us home with callbacks themes connection and a relentlessly beautiful narrative of moving forward despite it all#god i love you. i love you ALL#i love félix the most though. suckers#💜💚💍#i edited everything for formatting spelling tense perspective and consistency so certain hints to authorship will remain hidden#but to me a fan of everyone here this was a bonanza of distinct writing styles#can't wait for blind drabble guessing game 😎
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bullfight of love
ੈ✩ choso x reader
ੈ✩ tags: flirting, masturbation, porn watching, vaginal sex, riding, soft sub!choso, 2000s au, coworkers, workplace relationship, film bro stuff
ੈ✩ wc: 4.7k
ੈ✩ a/n: i wanted to write choso being a weirdofreak pervert boy that's all. this is part of my fics for gaza <3 there will be a part two for this. do not ask me about a part two because it's already being made
Maki could kill you for being late again. Five missed texts, the final exaggerated with periods and exclamation points �� and she never used proper spelling, let alone punctuation. It wasn't serious the way she made it out to be.
Toji never cared about your track record. The bastard was never in the shop anyway, probably high off his ass in whatever shed of a place he lived in. Maki already hated her cousin enough for the rest of the crew, running that stupid video store like it was a real family business. It was a summer job to you and nothing else.
She sighs when she sees you walk through the door, handing you your name tag without a word before fucking off to the storage room to look at the new shipments.
“Don’t give me the silent treatment!” you yell after her. In response, you only get a middle finger, chipped black nail polish with half a skeleton decal hanging on.
It’s always slow on Mondays. Considering the new cinema that opened across the street, it's slow every day. You should’ve taken a job there, scooping buckets of buttered popcorn instead of telling off porn-stached men who continually mistook the shop as the old adult video store.
You mindlessly watch Reservoir Dogs on the CRTV, shaken by the sudden flood of middle school students paving their way to the used video game section. Fumbling with the remote, you meet a hard-faced Maki once again.
“You can’t put on Tarantino, dude. Kids are in here.”
“It was already on,” you shrug.
Maki rolls her eyes and points to a small stack by the register – some John Hughes VHS tapes. Sixteen Candles. The Breakfast Club. Most shit that both of you hated.
“Gotcha.”
“Can you deal with the new kid, today? Toji didn’t scan all the new shit in like he was supposed to last week.”
“New kid?”
“Uh, yeah. Goth-ish. Like he got spit out of a Hot Topic or something,” she snorts. “No hazing.”
“I should be saying that to you.”
She scoffs at you before rushing back. You’d had a crush on her when you started working there, back when she still had an eyebrow piercing before she let it get infected. She had that Silent Hill look about her for lack of better words. Resting bitch face with a raspy pout.
Your head swims a little, pounding from dehydration. The morning joint didn’t help, either, nor did the fact that you had to train a newbie today.
It’s quiet after the kids leave, snatching up some forbidden R-rated movie that’ll traumatize them during a basement sleepover. You nearly doze off once the clock hits three, but loud footsteps bring you back to life.
A boy that couldn’t be much older than you stares into you, narrowed eyes boring into your soul. You see the dark birthmark across his nose first, as if someone had slashed him with a blade in one straight swoop. He smells like cigarettes and his eyes are decorated with some reddish eyeshadow. Either that or he had the complexion of a sickly Victorian child.
“Hey,” you deadpan. “Can I help you?”
“I’m the new hire,” he says. His voice is low. He reminds you of the goths that would hit on you at high school parties. He's prettier, though.
You give him a once-over quickly – he’s taller than you expect, for some reason, and you notice the blooming swirls of abstract tattoos peeking from beneath his sleeves.
“You don’t sound so sure about that,” you smirk.
He rolls his eyes and introduces himself. Choso. You repeat his name, tasting it on your tongue. He has half a mind to shake your hand but pulls away awkwardly. You take note of the silver rings adorning his fingers.
You tilt your head. “I like your, uh, space buns…”
“Uh, thanks,” he narrows his eyes.
“Okay, so… have you ever used a cash register?”
“Yes.”
“Great. That’s basically half the job.”
You show him the ropes – how to make sales and deal with teens. Cash drops and tracking inventory. You ask him what attracted him to the idea of working at a run-down video store and he says he likes movies and easy money. His brother liked the place, too.
“You got the Human Earthworm series, boss?” he drones, bored.
“Yeah, think so. You like romance-horror or just terrible practical effects?”
He snorts. “My little brother likes it. Wants to have a marathon with me.”
“Cute.”
Hours pass and he’s gotten the hang of it. If anything, there are more customers than usual today, because you suppose that Choso is conspicuous in appearance and the teenage girls that hang around at the food court need something new to play with.
It stirs something uneasy in your gut, the waft of saccharine perfume in the air. Girls with tongue piercings, lollipops staining their lips as they bend over the counter to talk to Choso. Ripe girls.
They probably thought he could buy them alcohol, take them for a joyride. He’d only offer them an aloof, blank stare in return. It makes you almost giddy. By the time night comes around, you tell them to fuck off like flies.
“Closing time.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Choso mock-salutes, an amused smirk on his lips. Half-lidded eyes like a cat, maybe a stoner, though he didn’t smell like it. You saw him on his break anyway, sipping down an Asahi Super Dry in the back as if you weren’t looking.
He already knew his place, knew that you wouldn’t rat him out. It was the way something flickered in his eyes when you caught him. A taunt, a quiet challenge.
You watch him count cash. Chipped black fingernails looked odd on his veiny hands like they were painted in a rush by a child. You notice scrawled pen on his pale skin. Smudged phone numbers.
“Getting hit on already?”
He glances at you and shrugs, hiding a smile. “Half were just from bored teenagers. Other half bored single mothers.”
“Any takers?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
You narrow your eyes.
“Ha. Don’t be jealous.”
“I’m not,” you snort. “As long as we get customers I guess.”
“Oof. You’re cold. You don’t care how I get these people to buy these movies as long as they buy ‘em, huh?”
“You’re not whoring yourself out by being a cashier. Relax.”
He shrugs on his jacket. Crumpled leather, the kind that held the smell of smoke over generations. It made him look like Takuya Kimura in that way, maybe if his hair was down.
He grins when he finds you staring.
“We done for the night, then, boss?”
You roll your eyes at the nickname. “Uh-huh. Night, newbie.”
He smiles sardonically, looking out and noticing the rain. He curses inwardly, knowing that skating home would be a bitch, and the next bus to his side of town wasn’t for another half hour. He clears his throat.
“Leaving already?”
“Yeah. What, don’t have a ride home, kiddo?”
“Fuck off. I’m not a damn kid. I’m just not someone with a car,” Choso mutters dryly. “I work at a movie rental place for a living. I take the bus everywhere.”
“Sucks to suck then,” you smirk, saluting him goodbye. You throw him the keys. “I trust you to lock up then, yeah? See ya.”
He lets out a frustrated scoff but doesn’t bother to convince you, opting to watch you go. Once you’re out of reach, he sighs and turns, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking around the dim store.
Yuuji was probably out with that sea urchin–haired punk again. He had to remind himself to save up for a car instead of constantly having to share their parents’ beat-up Toyota.
He could take advantage of the shitty TV in the office, maybe. Watch a stupid re-run while he waits, because he sure as hell isn’t going to wait out in the rain. He walks in and settles on the black leather couch straight out of an amateur porno. He snorts and looks through a fat stack of DVDs in the corner.
His mouth twists when he picks up something with a racy title. His eyes widen when he realizes it’s an adult film.
“Holy shit,” he mutters, scoffing. He lets out a low whistle, glancing around the office as if someone’s out there, ready to jump him. It’s eerily quiet. He can’t even hear the pitter-patter of rain from in here.
He skims the back cover. It looks crude, but Choso has never really been one to turn down something raunchy. He liked stupid movies, gory ones, art films with weird unsimulated sex. He’d gotten off to In the Realm of the Senses when he was thirteen. Skimming through something this cheap shouldn’t hurt. It wouldn’t arouse him — it would be as entertaining and silly as watching a sitcom for him.
He inserts the disc into the DVD player and waits for it to load. There are no cameras in the office, he notices. Figures. The way you talked about the owner made it seem like the place was barely being held together if not for you.
And then, he thinks of you. He immediately thought you were pretty, not that he’d ever let you know that. Plainer than his usual type, but something was alluring about the curve of your mouth, the way you spoke. He liked that you didn’t take shit most of all. It was probably the hottest thing about you.
He knew better than to fuck around with a coworker, however. It never ended well and resulted in petty drama. He was too old for that shit, wasn’t in high school anymore — he was a man.
When the intro to the film finally loads, a woman in a skimpy, barely-there dress appears on the screen. It’s something vintage, for sure, given the grain. She’s in a love hotel.
Choso fast-forwards through blurs of messy kissing, colored lights illuminating a heart-shaped tub. He pauses on a frame of the girl riding, her mouth wide open in ecstasy. He presses play.
After about ten minutes, he finds himself in a trance watching with rapt attention at the way the actress moves. His cock twitches when he realizes that she looks a little too much like you.
She moans particularly loudly and his mouth parts. Something snaps inside of him.
He has to pause it again. Jesus.
Choso feels like a pervert. No, he’s a man with urges, needs. It’s a pure coincidence that the actress in the porno looks like you of all people. It’s not like he sought her out himself. A movie like this shouldn’t even be in here.
He grits his teeth, hands clenching around the couch leather until his knuckles are white. He takes a breath before pressing play again and his eyes widen when the girl gets even louder.
Ah, fuck it.
He mutters under his breath, shifting on the couch. Glances at the blowjob lips on the screen, soft and plush. He thinks of you and swallows. He bites his cheek, conflicted.
Maybe he shouldn’t.
Then again, no one has to know.
He lets out a shaky exhale, trying to resist the pressure building inside him. It feels like trying to contain a geyser with a cup, and he hasn’t even touched himself yet.
After contemplating for a beat, he sighs and unbuttons the fly of his jeans, using his other hand to press play again. A gasp escapes his lips as he watches the girl on the screen. The curve of her back, the bounce of her tits. She looks soft. He wonders if you’d be as —
No. No. He’s not doing that.
He spits in his hand and strokes himself, his breathing starting to come out in short, uneven pants. There’s a rush of heat in his gut as he watches. His head tilts back slightly, eyes roaming the ceiling before closing them as he attempts to calm himself down. It’s no use.
His breath hitches, eyes glued to the screen. He’s memorized by the slick flowing out of her. Fuck, he hasn’t gotten laid in a long time. It’s killing him.
It’d be okay if he pretended it was you. It’s not like you would find out. He could imagine fucking your face the way the guy was doing right now in the video, making the bitch gag and moan. Whimpering at being called a good girl.
“Oh, god–” he mutters, his voice a strangled gasp. She really did look like you. Disturbingly so. When he’s done, he’ll have to wash his hands for five minutes straight from the shame.
He pants, his grip on himself firm as he squeezes his shaft. Precum smears over his tip and he groans at the sound of the woman’s whimpers getting louder and louder. It makes his lungs seize. He’s getting close.
He doesn’t even register the jingling of the doorknob.
Choso’s head jerks up, his eyes widening in shock as his head turns to see you in the doorway blinking at him.
“Oh.”
His throat’s dry. What a cruel fucking joke from the universe. There’s no coming back from this. Not when the video’s still going and he’s still half dressed, hand on his fly in mortification.
You tilt your head, smirking. “Nice cock.”
Choso’s at a loss for words, staring at you with embarrassment and utter daze. What the fuck?
“I, uh…” he chokes out, his voice rough and more high-pitched than usual. Face burning.
He’s going to get fired. No – he has to quit before you even get another word in, save the little dignity he has, maybe convince Yuuji to move to another shitty town with him so he never has to see you again —
“Forgot my wallet,” you say, snapping him out of his thoughts.
You walk into the room, peering at him. Your eyes fall on the TV, which is still going. The moans feel cheap and tacky now that he’s back in reality.
Choso scrambles to press the stop button on the remote, his other hand moving to put a pillow on top of his leaking dick. His eyes flicker wildly between your face and the screen.
“You find that in here?”
“Uh… yeah… I, um—”
You snort. “Forgot to tell you that this used to be an adult video store.”
“That explains the selection,” he mutters sheepishly.
You eye him carefully. He blushes. “Didn’t finish?” you taunt.
He feels too fucking humiliated to say anything, so he mutely nods instead. He fumbles with the zipper of his jeans underneath the pillow.
“Need some help?”
He gapes at you for a moment before looking away. You look amused as you scan his face. Was he hearing you correctly? Was he dreaming?
“Are you— are you offering?” he gasps out, dumbfounded.
“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done something like that in here.”
Choso’s jaw drops.
He stares at you for a moment at a loss for words. Curiosity begins to win out over embarrassment.
“With… who?”
“None of your business,” you chuckle.
He doesn’t like that answer. His jaw clenches, knowing that it’s stupid that it hurts his ego a bit for no reason at all. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t press the issue as his gears turn back to your previous offer.
“Then you… uh… want to…? With me?”
“You want to, right?”
He swallows nervously, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He looks at your body shamelessly for a bit. He’s still so fucking hard. Finally, he nods shyly.
“Okay. Take your clothes off, then.”
For a moment, he wants to protest. This is the last thing he expects from you. Maybe it was a blackmail situation — if he doesn’t let you fuck him, would you fire him?
He realizes that he doesn’t care either way if he gets to fuck you.
He pushes his jeans down with his boxer briefs, shoves the pillow in his lap away with a blush. Slowly, he strips off his t-shirt, leaving him completely exposed. He can feel your gaze on him, raking his chest and arms, the tattoos on his skin. He looks up at you again almost desperately.
“I meant it,” you drawl. “You do have a nice cock.”
“Th-thanks…” he croaks.
“Why so nervous?” you tease. “You were flirting with me all day.”
“Yeah, but–” he mutters, huffing defensively. “I didn’t think you’d actually—”
“Wanna fuck you?” you finish for him.
You say it so bluntly that it catches him off guard. He hadn’t really given it too much thought. You were somewhat receptive to his advances if he could call it that. It was mostly him being himself. His sarcasm was meant to be flirting, but none of it was that serious. He found you hot and interesting. He liked that you could keep up with him.
When he started touching himself with you in mind, everything was thrown out the window. He wanted you, and would probably dream about you when he got home, but the guilt and shame of doing something so depraved in his place of work made him embarrassed. He wouldn’t have been able to face you on his next shift, and then you decided to barge in and ruin everything.
And now, you’re offering yourself to him on a silver platter. It was absurd.
He narrows his eyes. “What’s in it for you?”
“I think you’re hot. Isn’t that enough?”
“You… you actually wanna… uh–”
“Yeah, Choso,” you roll your eyes. “I wanna fuck you.”
He shifts on the couch, eyes roaming hungrily over your body as his breaths grow labored. He swallows a lump in his throat.
“Then… do it,” he mumbles.
You grin, moving to straddle his lap. His hands flex and he has to remember to not appear so eager. This is just a casual hookup with a coworker. One born out of bizarre circumstances, sure, but he needs to play it cool. He grips the edge of the couch.
“Don’t wanna touch me?”
He feels even more meek, if that was possible. He hesitates, throat bobbing as he swallows. He’d had girls in his lap before. Bouncing them on his cock until they cried. For some reason, he feels like the submissive one here just because you’re on top of him.
“Uh,” he stammers. His voice is quiet, nervous. You think it’s cute. “I didn’t know if I was, uh, allowed to—”
“Go ahead.”
He holds back from kissing you. Instead, he smoothes his large hands over your hips, the curve of your waist. He lifts his hands to the edge of your shirt and hooks his fingers into the hem, slowly tugging it upwards. The reveal of skin is tantalizing, makes his mouth water like a man stranded in a desert.
Sparks jolt the length of his spine as his fingers brush over the bare skin of your stomach. Fuck, you’re soft. He knew you would be. He pulls the shirt over your head and ogles stupidly at your chest.
“Someone’s worked up,” you tease, playing with his hair. You undo his buns, leaving his hair down.
“Of course I am,” he mutters, his voice strained. “You’re sitting on my lap, looking like that—”
“Can I kiss you?”
His eyes widen.
“Please,” he breathes. It almost comes out like a desperate whine. “I mean— yeah—”
You raise a brow, laughing. It makes his face heat up down to his neck.
“Begging already? Thought you’d be more of a dominant type.”
You’ve thought about me?
“I— I am,” he grumbles.
“Uh-huh. I’ll let you prove it later.” You lean in.
“Promise?” He looks at you with something eager in his gaze and your eyes soften.
“Mhm.”
Finally, he captures your lips with his. You sigh into it and it makes his cock throb underneath you. He takes that as an invitation, his tongue immediately pushing past the plush of your lips. He reaches up to grab the back of your head and tangles his fingers in your hair as if he’s done it all before. It makes you moan a little in his mouth.
He moans back, pulling you flush against the hard planes of his chest. You pull back slightly, leaving him to chase your lips for a moment as he lets out a small huff of protest. When you look at him, his eyes are half-lidded, lips slightly parted and shiny with spit.
“You’re pretty,” you say without thinking. “Real pretty.”
He flushes, unable to form words. His expression immediately floods with disappointment when you get off his lap to stand.
“Where are you going?” His voice would be whiny if it wasn’t so gruff from desire.
“Relax, idiot.” You unbutton your pants, sliding them down slowly. He assumes you’re teasing him, which he doesn’t particularly mind. You’re a sight to behold. His cock twitches as his eyes look at your smooth thighs.
“Get over here,” he huffs. You laugh, moving to straddle him.
He doesn’t have time to react before you lean in to immediately nip at his neck. He lets out a moan, hips bucking involuntarily. You can feel his pulse quickening, the vibration of his moans underneath your lips.
“Fuck,” he gasps. His fingernails dig into the meat of your waist.
He can’t stay still. It takes him everything in him to not rock his hips up into you. It doesn’t help that he can already feel your wet heat hovering over his cock. His brain nearly short-circuits. He preens under you, grabbing at you like you’re going to fly away.
“Be patient. Wanna play with you first,” you mumble.
Choso’s eyes flutter closed as you speak. You sound so fucking sexy right now, he can’t stand it. It’s better than the stupid filler plot he scrubbed through in that damn porno. Miles better.
“Play with me,” he grits. “Fuck — later.”
“Oh, yeah. Forgot you were pregaming this before I walked in.”
He glares at you. It’s entertaining watching the expression melt off his face when you lift your hips and immediately slam down on him. The moan he lets out is guttural. His hands immediately find your hips.
“Hah – fuck,” you breathe. “You’re bigger than you look.”
Choso lets out a strangled chuckle, head falling back on the couch. It makes him look even hotter, the way his tattoos flex with his collarbone.
“Told you I wasn’t a kid.”
Your laugh tapers off into a moan when he gives a small, tentative roll of his hips. Testing the waters. You’re so fucking tight that it’s making it hard for him to even think. When he hears you gasp at being filled by him completely, his eyes widen.
“Shit,” he gasps. “Wanna make you do that again—”
“H-Huh?”
His eyes lock on your face as he grins, grinding into you slowly.
“That noise–” he groans, his throat taut and dry. “You made this little gasp—”
“Ah–”
“There it is,” he snickers. His eyes gleam. “Just like that.”
Your eyes roll back, mirroring the roll of his cock inside you. Your cunt clenches around him and it feels like fucking heaven. He can feel all your wetness drool into his lap. He had the urge to push you into the leather, cant his hips up like something rabid.
It feels like his brain was going to fall out of his nose, the head rush in tandem with the blood pumping into his cock. Impossible tightness. Snug cunt, petals closing into a bud.
When you wrap your arms around him, it almost feels romantic. It’s dangerous.
He kisses you, then. Quivers when he feels you getting lost in it, tasting nicotine in your swapped spit. He whimpers as you start to move your hips with more intention. You smile wryly at his reaction, pulling away, eyes fixed on where your bodies meet.
You’re a fucking wet dream while you’re riding him. The way your hair brushes messily over your jawline, the way your mouth parts with a gasp every time he feels you pulsate on his cock. Choso grabs your ass greedily and kneads it, mesmerized at the softness of your flesh.
“God, you look so fucking good right now—”
His eyes flash as he watches you move. He tries to match your tempo, rutting up into you with frenzied effort. His cheeks are flushed as he nearly unravels himself for you, his expression raw and hungry. He leans in to suck on your tongue, descending his wet mouth down to your jaw, your tits. Oral fixation.
You can feel him deep in your stomach, buried in you. It’s as if he could pierce you through the throat. You’re sure that you’ll ache everywhere by the time you get home. You’d never taken a cock quite this big, never been this wet, your insides swirling around like a washing machine. Your guts all muddled with something that felt too warm for just lust.
“So fucking hot,” he mumbles, hands pressing into your bare thighs.
All his preoccupations with you had disappeared. He didn’t care if you thought he was a pervert, since you were one too, in a way. Letting him fuck you like this when he barely knew you at all, yet a repressed part of his brain made his heart flutter at the thought of you. It didn’t help that he could practically feel your heartbeat with his cock.
It isn’t romance — it has to be the sex. He can’t think about it too much right now. Not when he’s in a state of delirium inside your cunt.
“Choso, I’m close,” you whine.
“Yeah?” he rasps. “Fuck, me too.”
His hair is tousled and sticky. Eyes glazed, chest rising and falling rapidly.
He grabs at your hips, guiding them to grind on him faster. Your wetness makes it all so smooth — all buttery, no resistance. You feel full.
He feels like he’s being squeezed to death, to heaven. It sends him over the edge at the same time he feels your pussy clench around him. You tremble in waves as you gasp out a moan. It’s more like a choked breath. He can’t stop watching you as you come, the way your eyes roll back.
A whine escapes his throat as he cums. Everything that seeps out is slick, feels like something new and primordial at once. Seraphic, he’d say, if he happened to be drunk. He certainly feels drunk.
Choso doesn’t expect you to kiss him so sweetly after such a vulgar affair. He lets out a long exhale into your mouth with eyes closed, letting his head fall back a little while your hands cup his cheeks. His body is all melted limbs, languid sex.
“Jesus,” he mutters.
“Hey.”
He opens his eyes and gazes at you through sleepy lids. He lifts a hand lazily, brushing the hair away from your face.
“Yeah?”
“Did you pick an actress that looked like me on purpose?”
He freezes. His hands tighten around your waist as he looks away.
“No,” he scoffs. “Just thought she was hot—”
You chuckle.
“I didn’t pick it, I found it,” he gruffs. “I’ll admit that… she looks like you… I guess.”
“Was I as good?”
He scoffs again, his eyes flashing with a mix of playfulness and irritation. You were as much of a little shit as he was.
“You’re better,” he rolls his eyes. “I already told you what I think, dumbass. Real pretty.”
“Oh, did you?”
There’s a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. “I’d be pretty pissed if you weren’t better than some stupid video—”
“Idiot. Those girls are probably like, Olympians at fucking. Porn isn’t like real sex anyway.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he grins. He pauses for a moment, suddenly looking timid. “It’s just… a decent placeholder for when I… y’know.”
“Just call me next time.”
Choso’s eyes widen slightly, unable to hide his surprise. He sputters for a second.
“What? I’m, uh— not gonna call you every time I—” he groans, “That’ll be way too many times.”
You raise a brow.
“Wait, no— that came out wrong. I’m not some horny freak or something—”
“I mean, given how I found you…”
“That’s—” he stammers, unable to complete a sentence without his brain completely blacking out every millisecond. “That was a one-time thing.”
“Hope so. I don’t wanna fire you, newbie,” you grin.
His pulse quickens at your smile.
“Like hell, you will. You’re too understaffed to fire me.”
PART TWO
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I learned how to be quiet about pain when I was very young. I learned how to fold in on myself like laundry, to take up less space in the cupboard. I learned how to keep the peace around me by sweeping the dirt under my own rug.
I have been taught that expressing my less favourable emotions is just complaining—something weak people do when they're too incompetent to solve their own problems.
Incompetent. Incompetent. This word is very important to me. Incompetent is the word I am always running from. To run from incompetency means to run from feeling dejected, feeling lost, feeling hurt. To run from incompetency is to run towards goodness. To run towards a me who knows all the answers and shoulders all the burdens and shrugs off all the pain.
Some days I am not very good at this race I am running. Days when the past lurches forward to bite my ankles, or days when the future looks back to scorn my present.
On these days I am weak. The poise slips. It's all too easy to cry a little and vent my fears. I forget that I am supposed to be keeping all of this shut away where no one else can see. I forget that I am not supposed to be dragged down by these feelings in the first place.
Today I feigned nonchalance and I feigned it well. No one noticed that I was hurt by the thing that happened, and sitting alone in all my hurt, I was bitterly gratified. I had fulfilled the proper narrative of an animal who is injured and returns to its cave to lick its wounds only in private.
But there is a desperation for the hidden pain to be noticed. This is the Achilles' Heel of the whole stealth operation; it threatens the little play I have constructed in which I suffer alone and inconvenience no one and am all the stronger for it.
Today I stood upright to talk to my mother and doubled over in pain the moment she left the room. It is satisfying, knowing I did the valiant and honourable thing of keeping the damn pain to myself. It is infuriating, the way my eyes flickered to the door in the dark and private hope that she would come back in and witness me while I was down.
I want to be strong and hide all the hard things away. I want someone to see my efforts to hide all the hard things away and realise I'm strong. I want to bring to life this character I have created who suffers without complaint and is loved when the truth is revealed. Who suffers well.
This is the person who stores up agony to a breaking point, to justify the ultimate snapping of composure. This is the person who wants to be depended on relentlessly and one-sidedly, so that someone someday might notice the unfairness of it all. This is the person who virtuously and righteously take all the hits without a sound, so that when they finally, inevitably break, their pain will come to light all at once and inspire awe and guilt in equal measure.
Who am I, really? Is it terrible to want to play this character? Perhaps some old wound craves acknowledgement and understanding and doesn't know how else to ask for it except by hiding until it festers.
Strength. Competency. Resilience. Dependability. Independence. They have all become synonyms in my black and white dictionary. They have all become straws for the drowning man.
I self-impose silence. I take pleasure in denial and secrecy. I take pride in successfully keeping a problem to myself.
Pride. That's another important word. I think I have too much of it, although it pains me when others point it out. Pride implies I think highly of myself, which is something a good person should never do. Pride is so audaciously self-absorbed, so high-and-mighty, so filthy with ego. There's probably a lot of it in this damn thing I've written.
Pride is the other thing that keeps my mouth shut. The thing that says I should be austere, untouchable, immovable. Pride is the thing that says look here, you don't have a lot going for you so you better keep this mask on right if you want to be good. If you want to be admired.
These terrible things keep me safe. I can't let go of that stupidly noble character or that cowardly pride. I need them to shield me from the reality that I am emotional, not all that put together, and honestly hopeless most of the time.
I need to have something worth liking about myself. I need to have a grit that makes me undeniably good. I need to have a strength that goes unsung, that lies in wait of discovery.
What an exhausting way to live. But it's the only way I know.
#my writing#writing#prose#prose poetry#poetry#words#literature#art#my art#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#spilled poetry#spilled writing#spilled words#poem#vulnerability#pain#shame#strength#self portrait#vent#inspo#stream of consciousness#aesthetic#web weaving
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I have a lot of mixed feelings about Arcane Season 2, especially after Act 1.
I enjoyed the season and there was a great deal I loved about it. The animation, in particular, was spectacular. But I had a lot of issues about its pacing, characterization and key narrative choices.
(Spoilers)
Why does the finale of a show that's supposed to be about two sisters revolve around two men? Why were all of its other female characters also sidelined to focus on them? Why was Sky fridged yet again?
Vi had no proper arc or goal across this season and was very inconsistently written. Jinx had comparatively more consistency but still had major issues. Their relationship, as mentioned above, was also not handled properly or given adequate attention.
Vi and Caitlyn's relationship was a mess in almost every way, I'm sorry.
Mel and Ekko were both almost entirely sidelined after Act 1 (and the Firelights barely played any role at all?)
The way they handled Viktor's terminal illness, specifically how Jayce spoke about it, was fucked up
The socio-political conflict between Piltover and Zaun was almost completely swept under the rug by bringing in a new Big Bad and common enemy for them to "unite" against. Piltover's oppression of Zaun was also massively minimized after Act 1 and ignored altogether; after defeating Noxus, there is no reason not to believe that they would go back to the status quo of inequality and martial law. Sevika getting a seat on the council (still Piltover's council) is mere lip service with no discussion on what that actually entailed, or what they planned to do in the future. Zaun is still not free. I've seen people try to justify this by claiming that "that was the point, it's meant to show that things are imperfect" but the fact of the matter is that there is no indication that the show wanted to make this point at all (and if they did, it was very badly done). They should have addressed the oppression of Zaun directly, which they never did. What they instead did was actively downplay it on far too many occasions.
There were some plot points I personally disagreed with, like their decision to bring Vander back, but those are personal grievances that I could have made peace with if they were written well. Unfortunately, they weren't.
A lot of these problems stem from pacing, tbh. The show also introduced far too many plot threads last minute without resolving anything properly. If they had three seasons, or even a longer second season, maybe they could have committed to addressing what they had previously set up. But it doesn't seem to have been their priority in the first place, so 🤷🏻♀️
Also, the way the fandom is relentlessly attacking anyone who dares to critique/criticize this season is pathetic and needs to stop.
#arcane#arcane critical#this was very hurriedly written and are just my first impressions but. yeah.#mine#arcane spoilers#anti arcane#(not really I love the show - just so people won't have to see it if they've blocked the tag)
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I’ve been deliberating for a couple days now and have decided to discuss in-depth about Kim Dokja and the tendencies of putting his life on the line. For most of the novel, I was split on whether I should view KDJ as a self-sacrificial bastard or a suicidal character. And by the end, I’ve reached the conclusion that he is both.
Before I elaborate further, it should be noted that while we all meme about KDJ’s dying count, he actually isn’t that careless with his life. What I mean is he sacrifices himself usually as a last resort, plans A to F didn’t work and it’s the only option left to hope for kimcom’s safety-ditch effort. Usually. We’ll circle back to that when we bring up OD. But his sacrifices are always done as granting his companions salvation, utterly blind to how they feel about it. But to understand his constant need to do this you have to first start with where he learned how to love. Lee Sookyoung’s love was sacrificial, she’d take the brunt of her husband’s rage to shield KDJ, she’d take on blame for his death and be incarcerated for years so Kim Dokja won’t discover the truth. All of this, in my opinion, unbeknownst to KDJ, imprinted onto him this interpretation of love. As nobody else until the scenarios began had loved him (Yes HSY technically but he doesn’t know that). Which gives the irony that multiple characters KDJ resent in the story such as Kim Namwoon, his mother, the constellations are ultimately revealed to be reflections of himself.
Another component to his self-sacrificing is “Kim Dokja the reader”. I’m not going to dive deep into how orv interweaves dissociation and escapism into its narrative, I’ll do that some other day. But KDJ views himself as the reader, an outsider, the sole member in the audience watching the story unfold before him. Yes he grants commentary, the players notice and acknowledge his existence, but he isn’t part of the play. So if he decides to step out of the auditorium for a while, if he decides to leave a bookmark where he left off and close the book, nothing should change. The story will continue in his absence, the characters cannot possibly miss him because Kim Dokja was not a character. He was not part of their world so even if he’s gone, the ending will still happen. And that is something I want to stress here.
KDJ says “he wants to see a certain story’s epilogue”. Specific choice of words, “see”. He doesn’t say he’ll be part of it,that he’ll be with them, or any close variation of those phrases.
This is where I want to diverge to talk about KDJ's suicidality. You can say “Ok then, KDJ has a clear goal in mind to reach the ending he desires. Yes he may feel the need to step out of the story every now and then, but he does so reluctantly. So obviously, he doesn’t want to die.” And you wouldn’t be wrong really but that simplifies it to an overwhelming degree. That’s how I initially thought of it until I realized how complicated it actually is. Because most people who deal with suicidal thoughts aren’t searching for death but rather feel there’s no other choice. It often isn’t as clear cut as 1863 YJH who, anyone that read this arc will say with certainty that he was suicidal. Yes KDJ isn’t chanting in his mind over and over that he wants to die but why does he want to live? To see the proper ending of a web novel that stopped him from attempting again to begin with. Over the course of orv he finds people he loves and who love him back deeply. People he longs to live for but despite that because of the disconnect between them, his self-loathing, accompanied with what I said before, believing he has no other way out of these threatening situations. Yeah it’s to save his companions but in the end Kim Dokja still feels the need to die. Even if you do not see KDJ as a suicidal character, it is undeniable that so much revolving him, the impact it has on those who care for him, and the visceral descriptions used to convey their thoughts, is a direct metaphor for that.
Or in a few cases, straight up what’s going on and now we arrive at what I think was the final straw for Kim Dokja. Meeting the Oldest Dream. For me, this is THE scene of orv. The biggest twist and what finally irreparably broke KDJ. Prior to this, Kim Dokja had become the “Enemy of the story” but it was unlike his previous dances with death. This time he truly had no intention of dying, he wants to be a part of the ending with his companions, he understands now that his sacrifices do hurt them. That according to him “I, someone of no redeeming quality, could be loved by the others.” That he is a character and that just maybe, he does deserve to live happily ever after with them. And then Kim Dokja meets a 15-year old boy with the same face as his, doodling in a notebook his ideas for Ways of Survival and a notification tells him to ‘Please end the Oldest Dream’. All of that progress is shattered in an instant.
KDJ tries to excuse himself by recalling his promise to SP to kill OD but we all know if that was any other kid, he would not have tried to kill them. He would’ve hesitated much more, he’d look for a loophole, he would’ve tried talking which is his biggest strength for every corner he gets into. Killing them would not be the first option but now it is. Because this isn’t an instance of sacrifice anymore, KDJ is sick of himself. OD is a presence that confirms KDJ’s worst fears. That he’s meant to be weak and pitiful and alone, that he was always an outsider, that he unintentionally causes pain and misfortune to people he loves, that everyone would be perfectly fine and better even without him. And Kim Dokja is the physical manifestation of them: a monster. And there’s only one way to get rid of this monster.
The chain of events from him swinging his sword at OD, trying to stab himself with the blade only for YJH to stop it desperately with his hand, everyone restraining and begging him to stop, KDJ crying and screaming for SP + the other Outer Gods to kill OD. Everyone else is forgiving him and KDJ is only thinking of getting a blade.
This is Kim Dokja’s relapse. It’s real, it’s harrowing, and he never recovers from it. He reaches the conclusion that he has to be alone, it’s his atonement, it's what he deserves. So he splits himself 49-51. I interpreted this when I first read it as presenting 49% of what you believe people want to see. More real than a facade but it’s not the true you. The true, fucked up version of who you are is trapped in a prison of your making, trapped in a darkness you feel you don’t deserve to escape. Which is why it’s so powerful that KimCom went after that 51%. They didn’t want just their version of KDJ, they wanted everything KDJ is including the larger side of him that he wishes didn’t exist. But the plan fails, they managed to turn that full stop into a comma but they couldn’t save KDJ. Because you can’t drag someone out of that train, out of that mentality, you can’t force someone to love themself. All you can do is reach out to any corner, every worldline you can and let them know you’ll always love them. That you’ll always love every aspect of their story and hope that perhaps one day, they’ll accept your hand and believe it.
[ID: Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint art by Blackbox: first of Kim DOkja smiling, seen through a space in a bookshelf, and second of astronaut Yoo Joonghyuk floating upside down as letters float around him. End ID]
#The pain rollercoaster that is orv#Kim Dokja is one of the best characters ever#love that potato#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#han sooyoung#orv novel#orv spoilers#dark thoughts#TW#tw sui ideation#essay#character breakdown#tags#manga tumblr#manhwa#sing shong#kdj#orv
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I don't think Mobius is happy in his timeline. Don, as we find him, is different from Mobius.
He's less confident.
He's more desperate.
He's less responsible.
He's more lonely.
Owen's delivery of "Are you really my friend?" Didn't sound skeptical to me. It sounded more like longing.
I originally thought his wife died, but upon second review, the delivery of "long gone" was rather flippant. If it was a divorce, however, it seems like it wasn't an amicable parting. It rather leans toward a marriage that struggled to work.
I still stand by the notion Mobius isn't making enough money. Yet, the kids stayed with him. That, to me, suggests the wife cheated and left to be with her lover. To prevent disruption in his kids' lives (changing schools, leaving behind friends, etc.), I think Mobius argued for primary custody.
Again, he needs the money. He brings up his wife, but it's not her he misses.
He misses the sense of adventure, the fun, the companionship. Someone to share a drink with, someone to share a meal or something sweet with.
Even in his timeline, he doesn't actually get to ride a jetski. The most he can get is fantasizing about it.
While Loki sacfricing himself to ensure his friends are safe, to ensure Mobius's kids are safe, to ensure MOBIUS is safe, feels like a forgone conclusion, I don't think this feels like a proper ending for Mobius.
I think Loki will survive, and I hope he and Mobius will find a way to make it work since Loki explained to him he can take Mobius back to any point in time. Meaning, he could have Loki in his life without abandoning his kids.
But where will Loki go? Even if OB and Casey want to stay full-time at the TVA (I honestly don't see either of them wanting their timeline lives), it doesn't feel right for Loki.
This house looks like it can fit one more person.
I don't care that I know I'm about to get hurt, but the narrative set-up is all there, and it's driving me crazy. There's an indisputable basis for a romantic relationship, there's Loki's powers enabling a timeline life and a TVA life to work, and there's a fucking HOUSE that can fit one more person that we know would be welcome there.
Adding to all of this is that Mobius shows up in Deadpool 3.
This is driving me absolutely bananas. The happy ending is there. It's mechanically feasible. But it's Disney, so what the hell ending is it going to be???
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Woah there. Coming in a little hot. Take a step back, take stock, and chill. Even when we're discussing (read: "arguing") about stuff, it's Star Wars. It's a fictional universe. We're talking about movies and TV shows and comics aka... having fun.
(Which is advice that applies to me too, for the record)
That said, you trimmed out what I said, so I'll copy-paste it below (blue text) before expanding.
For context, someone said that (paraphrasing) the clones are referred to as “property of the Republic” by Shaak Ti in an argument with Nala Se regarding Fives and there is no rejoinder, so this acknowledgment of the clones being property of the Republic makes the Jedi complicit in their enslavement, as they partake in a flagrantly immoral command structure that sent slave soldiers to their deaths.
My response:
Tone and context are everything. There's an intonation on the word "property" when Shaak Ti says it. She isn't saying:
"Fives is property of the Republic."
She's saying:
"Correction! Technically, Fives is 'property' of the Republic."
She's taking Nala Se's cold, callous term and turning it around on Se with a technicality to score a point and pull rank, in order to save Fives' life. The subtext isn't "Fives is my slave," it's "you don't get to take this living being's life without my say-so."
Ti is regurgitating Nala Se's lingo to tell her to shut the fuck up.
In-universe, "there is no rejoinder" because Fives is aware of this subtext and knows Shaak Ti's in his corner. His life was on the line and Shaak Ti saved him.
Out-of-universe, "there is no rejoinder" because it's the ending of a 22-minute episode from a children's TV show 😃 and the point of the scene isn't to argue semantics about the ownership of the clones it's to save Fives' life. The beats of the scene can be boiled down to:
Nala Se argues fervently for Fives to die.
Shaak Ti is like "stfu no, I'm taking him to Coruscant"
Fives is grateful that Shaak Ti saved his life.
If the argument Nala Se used was, I dunno... "he must be terminated because the virus is contagious" then the beats of the scene would play out the same. Because again: the narrative, the story being told in this episode, ends with Shaak Ti coming in with the clutch and saving Fives.
The lore/sci-fi-ness of it all are mere details to move this children's story along.
You can read the rest of my response here, but since then, the user expanded on their point, explaining that while they acknowledge that Fives knows Shaak Ti's in his corner, what they meant is that there is no rejoinder from Nala Se. If it wasn't true that Fives was "property of the Republic", Nala Se would have said so in her cold and clinical terms.
Thus, for them, the point still stands.
And, uh, I'm not sure it does. Because the episode right before, Nala Se does counter Shaak Ti's argument by saying "nu-uh, the clones are property of the Kaminoans and we're leasing them to you."
So at some point, we either:
Point and go "IT'S A PLOT HOLE, BAD WRITING!" and acknowledge the point is thus moot.
Headcanon our way through this, theorizing that this point of semantics was argued by Shaak Ti and Nala Se and subsequently solved off-screen, in-between the two episodes. In which case, Shaak Ti's word on the subject is indeed final.
Acknowledge that this is a 22-minute story for kids, it was the end of the episode, and they needed Shaak Ti to come up with a technicality so as to save Fives without seeming unreasonable, and this is the best the writers could come up with.
I'm gonna go ahead and take option #3.
But, anon, this reaction of yours does open the door on a bigger point I've argued before.
All I did was bring proper context back to Shaak Ti's words, when they had been taken out of it.
And in discussion about the Jedi, this gets done very often. A sentence - or even words within one - will get plucked out of context and lore or fanon will form around it.
Here's some examples.
"Obi-Wan said that Anakin is pathetic!"
Context:
A pathetic life form.
He's comparing Anakin to Jar Jar, y'all.
AKA someone who had been exiled and was later about to be executed when they found him. AKA someone who has pathos, who inspires pity. Aka someone PATHETIC.
George himself describes Vader as pathetic.
That's because "pathetic" isn't just a judgmental term.
Resulting interpretation: Obi-Wan isn't saying Anakin is "ew, pathetic!" he's disagreeing with Qui-Gon's tendency to pick up strays and fails to see the point of them tagging along on the mission. He is proved wrong later and this ties in to his character arc about learning to see the value in listening to Guide archetype characters like Jar Jar or Ep. 1 Anakin.
"Yoda said the Jedi are arrogant."
Context:
Obi-Wan is bitching about Anakin being arrogant due to being so skillful, and Yoda tells Obi-Wan:
Resulting interpretation: Yoda is speaking in riddles, as per usual. He's being cheeky and implicitly telling Obi-Wan that he can be arrogant too sometimes, in his own Yoda-esque way.
Yoda is not "lamenting how far the Jedi have fallen". It's just another way of saying "we're all human, nobody's perfect."
"Mace said he doesn't trust Anakin."
Context:
Obi-Wan: “Anakin did not take to his assignment with much enthusiasm.” Mace: “It’s very dangerous putting them [Anakin & Palpatine] together. I don’t think the boy can handle it.”
Resulting interpretation: Anakin - not, by his own admission, the most subtle Jedi - is being asked to secretly spy on someone he considers a close friend, a mentor, a father even... aka someone who'll read Anakin like an open book (which is exactly what ends up happening).
Would you trust Anakin with that mission?
Because I sure as hell wouldn't. And that's what Mace is saying.
If it's "fucking disgusting" to point out the context in each of the above situations, during a Star Wars analysis or discussion, I fail to see why.
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One detail I really like in Nimona is that everyone is a terrible detective
Ballister is in the spotlight the most bc he’s actively trying to prove his innocence. Except he’s real bad at it. Like the first time we see him after the whole Queen killing fiasco, his notes on the wall show that he already suspects the Squire knows something.
But then he does literally nothing about it.
Instead he strolls into the Institute with an iron-clad “trust me bro I’m innocent” argument that leads to extremely predictable consequences.
After Nimona gets him out of that mess, he actually talks to the Squire and miraculously get proof of his innocence! And then he promptly decides to not make a backup copy of the recording... or secure a witness statement... or even ensure the safety of his single witness (some knight he is). Instead Ballister simply walks straight back into the Institute again with a new “trust me bro, I’m innocent just look at this thing in my pocket first” and predictably looses all his evidence.
Then a third time, he and Nimona get sneaky and record the Director’s actual confession, uploading it for everyone to see. But they only take a small soundbite, which backfires on them later when the Director makes the very logical “we have proof Boldheart is working with a literal shapeshifter, so maybe it was a shapeshifter that said that.” Ballister and Nimona didn’t even show that the Director was in possession of Ballister’s sword or that she tried to stab Ambrosius.
And Ballister (and by extension Nimona) aren’t the only terrible detectives. It’s implied that nobody did a proper investigation after the Queen’s death or else the Squire’s testimony would have been uncovered.
Plus Ambrosius‘ suggestion that ‘hey maybe we should watch the clip for ten seconds longer to see if there’s anything else we missed” seems like a novel idea instead of standard practice. And upon discovering Ballister’s real sword, Ambrosius also makes no attempt to secure evidence of it’s existence within the Institute (which could prove Ballister’s innocence) and instead gives it away.
Taken at direct face value, this makes the characters seem incompetent and unintelligent. But the genius is that it makes perfect sense within the larger narrative of the story why the knights are not taught investigative or problem solving skills.
They live in a society where “monsters” exist.
If monsters were allowed to have a voice, to prove to others that perhaps they are actually innocent, it would fundamentally shatter the perception that the accused were evil monsters to begin with. And this, in turn, would bring the entire system crumbling down.
Their society is one where anyone can be labeled a monster and there is no room for questions or analysis.
Truth does not matter.
Facts do not matter.
There is simply blind obedience to those already in power.
And this leads to innocent people being hurt.
#nimona#nimona meta#nimona analysis#original post#i promise this was going to be a funny post about how the knights are all dumbasses but then the allegory was RIGHT THERE
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ok, I'm too cowardly to actually reply to your post about Rolan/ Dammon headcannons/ prompts but here are a few:
Rolan:
-He finally gets to be hero, he saves Tav from some scenario and when Tav is thanking him he has no idea what to do with himself.
-Cal and Lia being siblings and absolutely embarrassing him anytime Tav is around. (Sharing embarrassing but endearing stories from when they were younger, hinting at his feelings for Tav, making kissy faces from behind Tav when he's trying to have a conversation.)
-Also, I just have a feeling that he's a jealous green monster whenever someone who isn't any one the companions try and talk to Tav.. especially if its another wizard.
Dammon:
-Him trying to muster up the courage to ask Tav out when he has his shop in Baulders Gate.
-Dammon would 100% be the type who wants to court someone the 'proper' way, but could be convinced otherwise.
-He seems like he would act like a love sick puppy when he's in love.
Thank you for this delicious bouquet of ideas!! 🖤 Twirling my hair over these!! I do want to save a few for fics, but I couldn’t look at this in my inbox any longer without writing out some headcanons:
Rolan
[Cal & Lia embarrassing him around Tav]
The three of them have a super close bond underneath all the bickering. So the absolute second Rolan catches feelings, Cal & Lia smell blood in the water
Honestly they probably catch it before Rolan admits him to himself
When Lia starts to drop hints or Cal asks if he’s gotten up the nerve to kiss them yet, Rolan is like "what? stop being stupid"
But then he turns away & checks in with himself for a second & he's like "oh fuck"
Rolan makes an effort to only interact with Tav far away from his home, his workplace, the general vicinity of his neighborhood in Baldur’s Gate—basically avoiding anywhere they might run into his sister or brother. They already make him nervous enough
But once they start getting closer he also really wants to bring them home, so at some point, he’ll suck it up and face this potential trainwreck head-on
His siblings make light conversation over dinner about what Tav’s been doing or working on lately. Lia’s like “oh yeah Rolan mentioned that, you know he talks about you a lot, like all the time”
Tav’s hand silently taking his under the table is the only thing that could distract Rolan from snapping back
Somehow, Rolan is even more embarrassed when his siblings start genuinely reminiscing and telling Tav stories about the three of them growing up in Elturel
He’ll chime in if Tav asks him a question, but otherwise he’s pretty quiet. Rolan doesn’t want them to think about him as a refugee or an orphan
In his mind, he still thinks he needs to be powerful and significant in order to truly deserve Tav’s affection
If Rolan paid any attention, he’d realize that Cal and Lia talking up what a stubborn, protective big brother he’s always been is putting stars in Tav’s eyes
[Jealousy]
He’s so fucking jealous and it drives him crazy
Rolan likes controlling the narrative, keeping any vulnerability under control & well hidden from others, etc.
Falling in love with Tav creates a big complication in the way he usually operates
Once he’s master of Ramazith’s Tower, he has a certain amount of social obligations—hosting members of the wizarding community, professional gatherings, etc
And Tav is an integral part of his life now, so they'll always be involved to some extent
Midway through the evening, Rolan glances across the room and sees one of his colleagues talking much closer than he'd like to his beloved. As he watches, their hand actually reaches out to touch Tav’s elbow
Whatever he's doing or whoever he's conversing with is abandoned without ceremony
Rolan does that thing where he casually walks up to join the conversation and places a hand on the small of Tav's back, just resting there with a slight smile as he pretends to listen. But he’s staking his claim
In his head the gesture means step the fuck back, this person is with me. It’s honestly about as subtle as a sledgehammer
After they're finally alone again he'll probably want to fuck Tav on his desk or against one of the bookstacks in the Tower
Capturing them for himself and hearing them moan his name and making sure they know they’re his
Dammon
[Working up the courage to ask Tav out]
He’s been really glad their paths have converged here and there along the way, but nothing could make him prouder than when Tav comes to visit the Forge of Nine Hells in the city
Dammon is completely in his element in Baldur’s Gate
He’s pretty modest and down-to-earth, but he feels a swell of pride when Tav finally sees him running a proper forge. It’s how he always hoped they’d see him
And is it just his imagination, or does he see them…often? Almost every day they’re dropping by for one reason or the other, and they seem to linger to chat and watch him work
The hints that they’re interested are all Dammon needs to start working up his courage to make a move
He's alone and tied to his work most of the day, which gives his mind ample time to run through different options
Getting the timing right drives him a little crazy. So often Tav is in a hurry, or with their companions, or he's got a rush commission that he has to get finished
When he finally finds the moment, he’ll probably come right out with it & ask them out for a drink. He wants something simple where they can talk, plus smithing is thirsty work
When Tav agrees with a smile, Dammon drops everything, his leather apron snagging as he pulls it over his horns in his haste to get going
Gathers his courage and puts an arm around their shoulders as they walk
With anyone else Dammon would be self-conscious about how he smells like iron and smoke and sweat all the time. But if anyone can look past it it’s Tav, with everything they’ve been through
A feeling that's confirmed when they lean further into him with a laugh
[Being totally lovesick over Tav]
The definition of devoted
He would 100% be that type of boyfriend who likes to be always touching Tav when they’re close
Prefers to rest his hand on their hip while they’re side by side, maybe on the curve of their ass if he can get away with it. The contrast against the doting look in his eye is classic Dammon—sweet and hot
It's not a possessiveness thing, and he'd tone it down if Tav asked, he's just super into them & touching them feels natural
Just in general, he loves telling Tav yes and has a very hard time telling them no
At the end of the day, Dammon likes to pull Tav down to sit on his lap and talk about their days. He might stroke their hair or rub their back while he listens, just helping his love relax at the end of a long day
Dammon’s used to being a single bachelor and taking care of himself, but he discovers that he adores when Tav does little things to dote on him or pamper him
One night he comes home with the usual soot stains on his skin and ache in his shoulders to find that Tav has drawn him a warm, pleasant-smelling bath. Ignoring any mild protests, Tav insists on helping him peel off his sweaty layers and sink in, then loosens his knot of hair to gently lather and wash his locks. The feel of Tav’s fingers and nails massaging his scalp is the most loving, tender thing. Dammon feels like he could fall asleep right right there in the water under their hands
He calls Tav all kinds of pet names: darling, love, dearest, gorgeous, sometimes angel if he's feeling especially whipped
Dammon is one to say "I love you' freely and often, but hearing Tav say it back never fails to make him sigh with happiness
#mildly spicy#dammon x tav#rolan x tav#bg3 dammon#bg3 rolan#rolan bg3#dammon bg3#bg3 headcanons#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers
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How to Use Absurdist Humor
I will often excuse away the “worst” of Marinette’s behavior with a very dismissive, “It’s an obvious joke, so there’s no point taking this as a serious character beat. Let’s not waste our time here.”
While I stand by that statement, I can see why some people struggle with this approach. Miraculous has made the unfortunate choice to tie the humor to parts of the narrative that have actual meaning to the audience. This undercuts the power of the humor, making it hard for some people to separate the humor from the actual character beats, so let’s step back and look at a show that did this right to show what I mean.
That’s right, folks, it’s time for more gushing about Kim Possible!
For today’s case study, we'll start with episode 17 of season one: The Twin Factor. In this episode, Kim is stuck babysitting her little brothers while on a mission to stop her arch nemesis. You may be thinking that Kim's "flaw" in this episode is the fact that she brings two 10-year-olds on a dangerous mission.
You would be wrong.
This is the lead-in to Kim bringing the twins along:
Kim: Er, speaking of forgetting, I totally spaced on the baby-sitting. Mrs. Dr. Possible: Kimmy, you made a commitment. Kim: Two commitments, actually. I'm suppose to go on a mission today. Mr. Dr. Possible: You'll just have to take the boys. Kim: Mom, can you please tell Dad that's a bad idea? Mrs. Dr. Possible: Oh, Kimmy. I'm sure Jim and Tim would love to visit a secret lab with you.
This is how you do absurdist humor. Is this technically horrible parenting? Yes, but there is no way that anyone is taking this seriously. It’s just so over the top that anyone trying to criticize the Possible’s behavior comes across as completely missing the point.
The other important factor is that Kim’s parents are played as genuinely loving and supportive parents, just in a really absurd way. This is a very natural bit of loving family dialogue about a totally ridiculous version of a normal family conflict. None of these three characters show off flaws that we expect to see address here save for their complete lack of concern about Kim’s life-risking adventures.
If Kim’s parents were shown to be genuinely neglectful or if Kim’s adventures were played more seriously, then this humor wouldn’t work anywhere near as well as it does. It would still be an obvious joke, but it would stumble the landing if you knew that the episode would go on to see Jim and Tim die. (They don’t, btw. The absurdist humor carries on, I’m just giving an extreme example of a plot beat that would kill – or at least weaken – this humor.)
Another example of Kim Possible doing absurdist humor right comes from the next episode in season one: Animal Attraction. In this episode, Kim is up against Senior Senior Senior, an eccentric billionaire who pursues villainy as a hobby, leading to exchanges like this one between him and his son:
Jr.: Did we not leave Kim Possible on a conveyor belt to her doom? Sr.: Yes. A proper villain always leaves his foe when he's about to expire. Jr.: Why? Sr.: Well, it would be bad form just to lull about, waiting for it. Jr.: Why? Sr.: Tradition!
This episode has a lot of moments like this. Moments where Jr asks why they don't do the obvious, more easy/effective thing and his father blows him off because that's not how villains do things! It's totally illogical logic and it's great. I love it! Perfect example of absurdist villains and a great way to keep the show from getting too serious. The writers never wanted you to feel like Kim was in over her head.
If you look at these two examples and compare them to Miraculous, you'll notice a big difference. While Miraculous does occasionally pull off good absurdist humor, a lot of the absurdist humor is more questionable because it's tied to the show's central conflicts.
As an example, let's talk about Marinette's inability to confess to Adrien and all the nonsense tied to that. Her many failures and attempts to know him better are clearly jokes, but they have this serious edge because the show has not set up the love square as nothing more than a source of humor. This is our end game couple. The audience expects to see their romance developed. The longer the show goes on without doing that and the more absurd Marinette's attempts get, the less the comedy works.
Another good example is Lila's lies. There is a solid argument to be made that the writers are trying to be funny with Lila's extremely obvious lies, but it doesn't work because the lies are a source of serious conflict. Lila is working with the villain! She gets Marinette expelled! We want to see her outed! Every obvious lie she tells just grates on our nerves because this is not the time for jokes!
To be fair, you can use absurdist humor in more serious shows. Another of my personal favorites is The Good Place, which relies heavily on absurdist humor, but has a very serious and heartfelt overall plot. The humor works there because the show knew when to use the humor and when to be serious and also because The Good Place is not a formula show. It's a serialized show. One big story told in 20-minute chunks. This meant that the humor had more room to breath and could be more closely tied to serious conflicts. When every story has to stand alone and be finished in 20-minutes, that blending rarely ever works. You're trying to do too much.
Kim Possible's writers knew this, too. The two tie-in movies (Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time and So the Drama) are still comedies, but they both have far more serious tones because they had the time to do that. While the episodes run about 20 minutes, both movies run a little over and hour which meant they could be more serious than in a standard episode.
So why did I write all that up? Because I was watching Kim Possible and thinking about how much better the humor generally was and I suddenly realized how easy it would be to be confused by Miraculous' humor if you didn't have this kind of background. I've seen enough absurdist humor to identify it with ease and even I struggle with Miraculous at times. Like I'm still not sure if Lila's lies are supposed to be a joke or not.
If you're new to absurdist humor or struggle to interpret less overt humor? Then I can see how you'd take Miraculous way more seriously than the writers intended because a lot of the absurdist humor simply isn't absurd enough. That doesn't change the fact that it's humor and I'm still going to treat it as such, but I can see why it goes right over some people's heads and leads to complaints like, "Marinette has his schedule for the next three years!!!" That was a joke, but I get why you're missing it.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#kim possible#adrien deserves better#marinette deserves better#writing advice#This was mostly an excuse for me to appreciate how well written KP's humor was#But I figured we'd take a writing lesson angle with it since I get comments about this stuff from time and time#And I don't know what to say because I don't know how to respond if you are treating bad jokes as serious character flaws#Adrien and Marinette have real flaws too it's just that people are so overly focused on the bad jokes that I just *sigh*
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ok I have to talk about 'the dialectic of sex' by shulamith firestone because it was one of the first proper feminist books I read and I didn't have the confidence back then to address this book:
so this is still the only book I've read so far that actually uses the words 'radical feminist' - except her definition of this politics is essentially transhumanist luxury space communism. because her understanding is that the 'root' of women's oppression is our reproductive capacity and therefore no matter what happens society will never fully be able to share the burden of childbirth and child-rearing across both sexes.
this book feels so evocative of its time - like there was a small window of pure hope shortly after the invention of the pill and the hippy movement where everything entirely changed for women. like, think about it: up until that point unless you use some sort of condom (which men don't like using - and also not 100% effective anyway) you're basically always vulnerable to being impregnated by a man during piv, which is considered the basic form of sexual intimacy wth men, which women are expected to engage in to be considered full members of society. so women would have all been in some sort of constant state of low-key fear; one sex - or rape - away from having a child that would change their entire existence. that's got to really fuck you up, especially your relationship with your own body. and you could get an abortion but only if you're incredibly lucky, and still getting an abortion is probably more like surviving a car crash than anything - like you're glad you made it through but also you're still damaged psychologically and probably physically as well. and it's such a silent fear as well - because women are supposed to want babies and babies just happen so you're not allowed to complain that this is because your husband always wants sex and he's the one who impregnates you but if he does people say 'she got herself pregnant again'. like there's layer upon layer of psychological terrorism surrounding men's impregnation of women and that's gotta mess you the hell up.
so the invention of the pill - holy shit, just imagine it. the hope. you can take the pill in secret, you can take the power back, you're not uniquely vulnerable to your own bodily forces anymore, that gives you time to fucking think, to be alive, to feel, to feel vulnerable, to feel free. it's like literal magic. if the most basic of happenings - pregnancy - can be actually prevented, then what else can we do to the body? what else can science do for us?? how more free can we get?? It's women's first time to (ironically) feel like a god, able to transcend the body. I'm actually surprised that I've not found more writings like shulamith's - that there weren't more women spurred on by this amazing discovery into further transhumanism. I guess the problem was that women were starting to notice that whilst women were able to change their own individual lives with the pill, that wasn't making men behave any differently.
but I still find it fascinating how this definition of radical feminism hasn't survived at all. as it stands on radblr, the 'root' of women's oppression is men, and therefore the only real solution is separatism. but like, what happened to the brand of feminism that says, uhhhh isn't it actually kinda fucked up that half the human race are burdened entirely with pregnancy, birth and child-rearing? and could we maybe be freed from that if we used science to bring about children another way? I'm not even agreeing with her that that would solve everything (because regardless even if we *could* make babies in a tube, that doesn't mean all women are going to magically become infertile, and it certainly doesn't mean than men are going to be less violent against us), but I'm very interested in questioning what the 'root' of women's oppression is - because modern 'radical feminism' has a lot of gaps to allow for a simplistic narrative that I'm sure many in the community, definitely myself included, are rapidly tiring of. and I think it shows in the separatism debate, which rages on because no one can think of any other solution, because the unspoken tenet is that what the 'root' is is solved and agreed-upon, and therefore the answer is just so damn obvious that the women who don't agree must be scared and stupid. I've been wanting to address this in some form or another for years now, and I guess I'm dipping my toes in it now.
at the very least, I'd like to know if someone has a good source on where the term 'radical feminism' came from and how its meaning has evolved over the years. in ariel levy's 'female chauvinist pigs' she touches on this debate that started in the late seventies that led to the fracturing of feminism and the creation of liberal feminism - and it seems to be along these same lines of separatism vs fucking men. I've always found it odd that there's essentially no middle ground here - like you don't need to embrace 'sluttiness' in order to want to have a healthy sexual relationship with a man, but it seems the liberal feminist side chose that, meanwhile the only other 'mainstream' option seems to be separatism. obviously a lot of the women in radblr don't actually fully agree with that - but all us hetties are suspiciously silent on that subject.
to me the issues with separatism go further than simply sex with men - sure it's psychologically good for you to only purchase from women owned businesses and only read books by women etc etc, and it financially uplifts other women. but also we live under capitalism, which obscures our reliance on each other. when you buy from that woman-owned business, the person delivering your package is likely to be male, the person who assembled the vehicle he drives is likely to be male, the person who constructed the roads he drives on is likely to be male. this is not to say that men are vital - but rather, your 'separatist choice' is a fundamentally capitalistic one that exists more for your peace of mind than being anything actually radical - as in, nothing about the 'root' of women's oppression is addressed in doing so. there's no ethical consumption under capitalism yadda yadda. and only speaking to women irl is also less of a capitalist action but still ultimately an individual one. there's so much emphasis on personal actions as the height of feminism and it screams liberal individualist to me. like you took 'the personal is political' and ran with it.
but if the root of the problem is men, then that's simple, isn't it? just don't interact with men. don't have sex with men. don't pay men, apart from the men who happen to be an inescapable part of the supply chain, they will inevitably get paid by your actions anyway, but you don't have to think about that because that's what capitalism does: it makes you think you have this magical power as an indvidual to make real radical choice in the world, to 'vote with your dollar'.
I'm not exactly calling for firebombing a walmart but I'm bored with the capitalism-loving individualistic liberalism of what this community calls 'radical feminism' - but that same thought-terminating cliche keeps getting thrown at us: 'we're radical, which means we grasp at the root, and the root is male violence, so you can't call yourself a radical feminist if you don't want to do the basic things of not wearing make-up and not fucking men'. and nobody ever seems to stop and question, does any of that actually address the root of our oppression? capitalism isn't the only economic system that has ever oppressed women, but it's the one we live under, and it's very good at sneaking into the backdrop of our lives and naturalising hierarchies - capitalism becomes its own justification, e.g. women choose low-paying jobs just because that's what we gravitate to, yanno?
being genuinely anti-capitalist recomplicates politics all over again, because suddenly it's not an easy men vs women but also men vs women vs rich people, some of whom are women??? and like, what's the solution to that? do we stand with men agains the capitalist system and risk our voices getting silenced, or do we go full single-issue and just go fuck it, capitalism was created by men for themselves like solanas said, so if we stand against men then idk capitalism will just sort of fall by itself? or in reality it's just not addressed at all. separatism itself always sits there as a thought-terminating cliche in and of itself - an accusation ready to be levelled at anyone who wants to question any of these unspoken tenets of radblr. and the goal-post is ever-shifting - separatism is women's land, but if you say that's not a real solution in our capitalist interconnected world then you get accused of not wanting women's spaces because that's obviously what separatism has been about this whole time. also separatism is not fucking men, actually it's not about that it's about prioritising women (vague), and on and on and on - the argument always shifts so the word stays pure. but like, is separatism an end-goal? a political tactic? something you do to enrich your own life and psyche? something to give space for consciousness-raising? I saw someone ages ago claim that the suffragettes wanting the right to vote was somehow separatist because idk, the women were making spaces for themselves? but wanting to involve yourself in male politics is literally assimilationist, no??
I'lm going to stop rambling for now but this was good to get my thoughts out there - I enjoy my theorising in this space but I'm also deeply interested in questioning. I've noticed time and time again that discourse is always stopped by 'you're not a real radical feminist if you do/don't do x' and I've found it really odd and telling that no one's questioned that? like sure I know we've built our whole political framework on 'words mean things' but also it's always worth questioning the definition of 'radical' and what the 'root' of our oppression is, and what we can actually do to address it, and if our narratives and assumptions are too simplistic. the community would be all the better for it imho. I already think the influx of 'tirfs' in the community and the khelif debate has been opening up these unspoken simplistic narratives on the nature of gender vs sex, of socialisation vs low-key biological essentialism, and I think we can push that kind of questioning even further. ramble over.
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The main premise and events in the Intertwined Opposites AU
It's finally here!!!
I've managed to finally make a proper info post for my personal take on this silly possession AU craze as I've planned to do for a while since I'm totally normal about this concept (lie) /silly
Before proceeding, keep in mind that this post is gonna be pretty long as I'll be diving into important story events troughout the first half of it, so it gets the read more treatment as usual!!
There will be no crk spoilers here (except for the beast-yeast episodes), just a ""prologue" to current narrative events in the AU
[[Little edit but there now are some ref sheets for both Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla!!! They can be found here]]
•The beginning•
Everything starts in beast-yeast, once peace has been returned to the fairie kingdom
Now that the area is mostly free from danger with the silver tree's seal being properly mended, the crowd decides to start repairs and preparations to further celebrate everyone's victory for the remainder of the day.
However, as everyone starts to leave the area, something starts creeping out from the shadows created by the tree's roots
Turns out that Shadow Milk, now severely weakened from the blow taken in battle, has managed to flee from being forced back into his prison once more.
During Lily's blast of magic, he essentially "split" and discarded part of his own power as a last resort, separating what was already being sucked into the renewed seal from himself to avoid getting dragged into containment once more.
Unfortunately for the beast, both his panicked and sloppy procedure combined with the added strenght of the new guardian's spell left him with a very poor amount of strenght, with it not being enough for anything useful.
Needless to say, his mind is filled with hatred and anger as soon as he emerges
he can't really do much with this state, and thus lingers on formulating a plan to get what he wanted from the start, but how?
How would he get back on track, rid himself of the guardian, and break the seal once more like this?
The answer eventually comes to him, just right on top of a bridge alongside the one who restored his prison.
His souljam, the one he was once the owner of
Now "purified" and held by Pure Vanilla, it binds the two together with the virtue of knowledge, split in the lights of truth and deceit during the purification process.
These lights are owned by the beast, and the figure by the bridge in front of him, yet come from the same thing.
Shadow Milk has finally decided on a proper plan.
◆ What comes after and what it leads to ◆
Days pass, turning into a few weeks and ending with a trip back home to take a break and write down what happened during the beast-yeast expedition.
Everything seems to have gone well in the end, yet something still feels..wrong?
It's not the best term for it, but does the job well enough.
The vanilla kingdom is peaceful, and Pure Vanilla's return safe and sound brings back some joy to the citizens.
Yet it just doesn't feel right, he doesn't know what precisely, but the ancient is riddled with an odd feeling almost like being watched.
He might not realise it for now, but he had been right. Someone has been following him inside the castle for the entire duration of the trip.
Pure Vanilla slowly grows more wary as days pass, and his doubts are confirmed as Shadow Milk's idea is proven successful.
In the void Pure Vanilla is confronted by Shadow Milk cookie, he spills everything he's done without esitating twice, as there's no reason to hide it anymore.
Shadow Milk had always been there ever since the re-sealing of the tree, following Pure Vanilla and draining magic at a slow enough rate to not be noticed, until it was enough to take over his body without trouble.
Now that he had a "vessel" to work with, he could keep recharging power and be finally able to do his bidding.
He's questioned multiple times by Pure Vanilla, but he wouldn't budge, and the ancient manages to gather only their location and a few loose details.
This was not a void, this was a ""mind space"" where he was bound to stay while shadow milk used his body as a disguise, and he could not use magic to fight back against the beast.
Being out of options, Pure Vanilla quickly tries to think over what to do, and lingers over the situation to come up with something.
Shadow Milk proposes an idea to Pure Vanilla, sharing the vessel that both are confined in, to be sure he doesn't get caught.
This is only to one condition: the ancient must work in favour of the beast under it's watchful sight at all times
The Ancient complies, and a deal is sealed.
It's not a loss nor a victory, only a beginning
◆The current situation◆
Now that the main prologue is set, what happens precisely to both?
So, Shadow Milk cookie is essentially ""possessing"" Pure Vanilla, but not completely.
The two switch up control of the ancient's body in certain times of the day and night, sometimes Pure Vanilla is granted the lead and when he's not needed Shadow Milk takes it. He's pretty much using the ancient as a puppet, a disguise and a tool for his own gain, assigning him certain tasks so that his plan will work as intended.
Whenever one of them is not in control of their shared ""vessel"", they're send in the mindspace until the shift of control takes place and so on. Shadow milk never gives Pure Vanilla full "freedom" or personal space, having control of the shifts in lead and constantly keeping the ancient under watch trough mirrors and reflective surfaces (The only moments in which he's given alone time is when the beast is asleep in the mind space to retain magic).
The ancient, on the other hand, accepted Shadow Milk's offer right away without esitation, but for a much different reason.
Pure vanilla is trying to get the best out of his situation, and thus feels forced to go against his own morality to keep cookies safe and attempt to alarm them trough hints and hidden messages scattered in the kingdom.
Even if he doesn't like the means, what else could he do to keep everyone safe?
The difficulty of his situation causes him great stress and paranoia, which worsens as time goes on and Shadow Milk regains his powers bit by bit, making his actions more difficult to get away with unnoticed.
Here's some more info regarding the effects of sharing a vessel in two:
• Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk's connection by souljam makes sharing a body possible, otherwise it would be fatal to most cookies (As they're not made to be vessels).
• The slit in the souljam is a shared element which hints at Shadow milk's presence in both, during control shifts it flickers in different shades of gray.
• Remaining on the topic, control shifts are not plesant in the slightest to both parties involved, being defined by acute physical pain on the area covered by the souljam. This is inflicted on the current cookie in charge of the vessel during the shift, fading away only when back in the mindspace.
•The two can see eachother and comunicate trough reflective surfaces, with them displaying the current entity in the mindspace instead of the one leading the vessel.
• Pure Vanilla's voice sounds somewhat overlapped or distorted when shadow milk is in charge of his body, he can't change this aspect unfortunately for him.
• Certain factors like hunger and thirst are shared between the two due to their predicament, they can sometimes be heard debate over what to eat and when during the day.
• Sleep in the traditional sense is the only factor distinct to the two instead of being shared, as it's strictly based on "individual energy" rather than "shared energy"
#RAAA IT'S FINALLY OUTTT#The first 3 panels are kinda old now but that's okay#the art gradually gets higher in quality I promise/silly#cookie run kingdom#pure vanilla cookie#beetle's art#shadow milk cookie#crk au#intertwined opposites au#cw scopophobia#cw eye contact#just to be sure#in some panels sm stares at pv but it's from “pv's pov” soo#I'll give this a final check for any grammatical issues tomorrow#I listened to some jekyll and hide broadway songs while making this au and imploded can you tell/silly#long post
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