#brian vahaly

[alacants]

ok so i went back and listened to brian vahaly on beyond the baseline in 2017 and tbh highly recommended. really frank and interesting conversation overall. couple moments so awkwardly Straight Dad Trying To Be Cool About It that i laughed aloud but overall wertheim is fine. but the part that i found most interesting, for its self-directed ruthlessness, was this: 

Vahaly: I think in general you'll find a lot of players talk about a feeling of relief, with victory, as opposed to wow, this is an amazing moment... What is there is the feeling of pain of loss. And especially losing to people you're not supposed to lose to. And doing it in a very public forum, in front of friends, family, and your peers. And that loss sits with you all day, it can sit with you, you know—depending on the size of the loss, the size of the choke, it can sit with you for a year. Wertheim: "I have a UVa degree to fall back on." Is that blunting your—I mean, is that a help or a hindrance, when you're out there trying to make it? Vahaly: For me it was a big help because it was able to take the pressure off... I always tried to rely on, "this is not my everything." This is about me going to be the best I can be, to have the most fun I can, and for—you know, you're always trying to find what that lie is you need to tell yourself, to enable you to relax in the big moments. Wertheim: I wouldn't say that's— Vahaly: And for some people that's, "I'm the greatest person in the world, I can beat anybody," for other people that's, "This isn't that big of a deal, I have an education I can fall back on." You know, there's always stories you're telling to yourself— Wertheim: I was going to say, stories, uh— Vahaly: —songs you're singing to yourself to— Wertheim: "Narratives" sounds better than "lies."

[esqrever]

Tenista Brian Vahaly foi homenageado no US Open com a presença do marido e filhos

Atleta, que esteve entre os melhores mundiais, só revelou após abandonar os cortes: “Foi uma longa curva de aprendizagem e estou feliz por estar do outro lado agora.” Tenista Brian Vahaly foi homenageado no US Open com a presença do marido e filhos 🎾🌈

O US Open, que está a decorrer em Nova Iorque, homenageou o antigo tenista Brian Vahaly num momento de inclusão no desporto. Antes da partida com Carlos Alcaraz, vencedor do torneio em 2022, a organização fez uma pausa para celebrar Brian Vahaly, o primeiro jogador masculino no top 100 a assumir-se publicamente como gay. Vahaly, que atualmente é o primeiro vice-presidente da Associação de Ténis…

[qnewsau]

Joao Lucas Reis Da Silva becomes first active pro tennis player to come out

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/joao-lucas-reis-da-silva-becomes-first-active-pro-tennis-player-to-come-out/

Joao Lucas Reis Da Silva becomes first active pro tennis player to come out

Joao Lucas Reis Da Silva has made history as the first active professional male tennis player to publicly come out.

The Brazilian athlete shared a series of photos with actor and model Gui Sampaio Ricardo on Instagram, writing: “Happy birthday. Happy life. I love you so much.”

The 24-year-old is currently ranked 401st in singles on the Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) Tour, having reached a career-high of 259 in May 2023. He reached the semi-finals of the Temuco Challenger in Chile last month and was a finalist at his home Florianopolis Challenger earlier this year.

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by João Lucas Reis (@joaolreis)

His highest doubles ranking was 204 in November 2023. In the same year, he won his first doubles title at the Challenger de Santiago, alongside teammate Pedro Boscardin Dias.

While Da Silva is the first active male player to come out, former World No. 63 Brian Vahaly disclosed his sexuality after retiring.

Speaking to The Telegraph in 2018, Vahaly opened up about some of his negative experiences as a gay tennis player: “I heard homophobic comments all the time in the locker room, to my face, behind my back… That was just a part of the culture.”

“Tennis is perceived as that country club sport, a highly competitive individual sport played across every country of the world. There are a lot of reasons not to come out as a gay man.”

“Outside of the States and Europe, there are a lot of countries not accepting of gay men. It’s not a team sport; there are not teammates on whom you can rely – you practice with your competitors.”

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[yourdailyqueer]

Brian Vahaly

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay

DOB: 19 July 1979  

Ethnicity: White

Occupation: Former prof tennis player

[muhammaddahab]

Ex-Tennisprofi Brian Vahale spricht über ein neues Fitnessprojekt und Schwulsein im Profisport

Ex-Tennisprofi Brian Vahale spricht über ein neues Fitnessprojekt und Schwulsein im Profisport

2004: Brian Vahali gibt während der RCA-Tennismeisterschaften einen Schuss an Ivo Karlovic aus Kroatien zurück … [+] 20. Juli 2004 im Indianapolis Tennis Center in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Foto von Elsa/Getty Images) Getty Images Brian Vahale, ein pensionierter amerikanischer Tennisprofi, übernahm im Februar 2021 die Position des CEO von YouFit Gyms, um die Transformation der nationalen…

[meawslove]

Former professional US tennis player Brian Vahaly comes out as gay

#Brian_Vahaly #Celebrity #Coming_Out #Gay #Tennis

The former ATP top 100 player has ...

[howtallcelebrity-blog]

All about Brian Vahaly : height, biography, quotes

How tall is Brian Vahaly

See at http://www.heightcelebs.com/2017/04/brian-vahaly/

for Brian Vahaly Height

Brian Vahaly's height is 5ft 11in (1.80 m)Brian Vahaly (born July 19, 1979 in Camden, New Jersey) is a former American professional tennis player and graduate of University of Virginia. Born: 19 July, 1979Birthplace: Camden, New Jersey Height: 5ft 11in (1.80 m)Weight: 180 lbs (81.6...

[alacants]

> looking up former atp players who've come out bc of prev post > the only one is brian vahaly > vahaly the usta guy... right... ok but i'm sure i know that name from somewhere else. why is this ringing a bell.

ಠ_ಠ

[sportsmovers]

Brian Vahaly Bio, Height, Wiki, Affairs, Family & Net Worth

Brian Vahaly Bio, Height, Wiki, Affairs, Family & Net Worth

Brian Valley is a popular former American professional tennis player. He was born on  July 19, 1979, in Camden, New Jersey.

Discover some quick info about Brian Valley.

Quick Facts  Full Name Brian Valley Nick Name Brian Birth Date July 19, 1979 Birth Place Camden, New Jersey Nationality American Profession American Tennis Player Religion Not Known Family Details Father Not…

[biofunmy]

What to Do This Week at the U.S. Open (Yes, There’s Stuff to Do)

The United States Open’s five-year, $600 million renovation of the U.S.T.A. Billie Jean King National Tennis Center is complete, so there are no new stadiums to debut or roofs to unveil at this year’s tournament. But the Open has expanded its programming for Fan Week, which began Monday and is free to the public. (Those Fuku fried chicken sandwiches and Honey Deuces, though, you’ll have to pay for.) Here are some of the activities on the schedule.

How to get there: Take the 7 subway line or the Long Island Rail Road to Mets-Willets Point.

Monday-Friday, 11 a.m.

An Extra Day of Qualifying

The qualifying tournament started Monday, a day earlier than in years past, and runs through Friday, with 128 men and 128 women competing for 16 spots in each main draw. The players entered in the qualifying tournament this year include veterans like Bethanie Mattek-Sands, Shelby Rogers, Donald Young and Nicolas Mahut. There are young Americans like Taylor Townsend, Tommy Paul and Hailey Baptiste. There are local players like Long Island’s Noah Rubin and Christina McHale of North Jersey. The women’s draw includes a pair of cancer survivors: Vicky Duval, who had Hodgkin’s lymphoma as a teenager, and Nicole Gibbs, who recently returned from treatment for salivary gland cancer.

How to watch: ESPNews, ESPN+

Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.

Watch the Stars Practice

Throughout the grounds, top players will be preparing for their opening matches, and not just in front of the small galleries at the practice courts. On Tuesday through Friday beginning at 10 a.m., some ATP and WTA stars will practice at the Grandstand, which seats more than 8,000. Each day’s practice schedule is available on the U.S. Open website. Maria Sharapova is one of the featured players on Tuesday.

For the first time, fans will also be able to watch players practice at Arthur Ashe Stadium, which is usually closed to the public until the tournament begins. But fans wishing to attend those practices need to register for a Fan Access Pass on the U.S. Open website.

Wednesday-Friday, 4:30 p.m.

Watch the Legends Play

Unlike the other Grand Slam events, the U.S. Open holds its Legends matches during qualifying week. From Wednesday to Friday, the Grandstand will host a series of matches featuring, among others, Martina Navratilova, John McEnroe, Jim Courier, Andy Roddick and Tracy Austin.

Evening entertainment options include D.J. performances from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., and free concerts at 8 p.m. by LANY on Wednesday, Brett Eldredge on Thursday and Leon Bridges on Friday.

Thursday, Noon

Attend the Draw Ceremony

Who will play Serena Williams in the first round? What about Roger Federer’s opponent? Fans can find out at the draw ceremony in the South Plaza of the National Tennis Center. The ceremony is expected to feature appearances by ESPN tennis analysts and the defending singles champions, Novak Djokovic and Naomi Osaka.

Thursday, 6:30 p.m.

Go to the First ‘Open Pride’

The first official pride event for the LGBTQ+ community at Fan Week includes a panel discussion about being out in pro sports, with the former N.B.A. player Jason Collins, the former M.L.B. player Billy Bean, the figure skater Adam Rippon and the tennis players Billie Jean King and Brian Vahaly.

Friday, 11 a.m.

Listen to the Stars at Media Day

For the second year in a row, fans can watch players’ news conferences at Louis Armstrong Stadium. Among those expected to speak are Djokovic, Williams, Federer and Rafael Nadal.

How to watch: ESPN3

Sahred From Source link Sports

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2P7modE via IFTTT

[ultrasfcb-blog]

Brian Vahaly: Ex-tennis pro says it would be

Brian Vahaly: Ex-tennis pro says it would be

Brian Vahaly: Ex-tennis pro says it would be

Brian Vahaly retired from the sport aged 28 because of an ongoing shoulder injury

It would be “helpful” if a male tennis player came out as gay, says former professional Brian Vahaly, who did so 10 years after his retirement.

The 39-year-old American says he received thousands of “pretty nasty” messages after he came out in 2017.

Vahaly said he feared there would be financial implications had he made it known while still playing.

“I have seen and felt homophobic remarks throughout my entire career,” he told the BBC’s Sportsworld.

“Tennis is a very conservative sport.

“For the first few days after the announcement, I probably received two to three thousand pretty nasty emails and communications from people who were disgusted by me and my family.

“I didn’t hear much from former players – most of the positive outreach came from the LGBT community or friends.”

No openly gay man has played in a Grand Slam during the Open Era.

In contrast, Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova – two of the greatest female players of all time – came out as gay during their careers.

And former world number 63 Vahaly believes their success forced others to be accepting of their sexuality.

“Martina and Billie Jean were at the top of their game,” he says. “They could set a culture – other players had to be accepting because they were the best.

“When they came out it was difficult for them, so they deserve a lot of praise for their courage.

“On the men’s side it would be helpful if someone at the top of the game would make an announcement like that.”

Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova won a combined 30 Grand Slam singles titles

Vahaly, who is married with two surrogate children, says one of the reasons he did not come out while still playing was because he was not sure how sponsors would react.

“At the time people wouldn’t have known what to do with it,” he said. “To bring this level of distraction didn’t feel advantageous.

“It would have been a very scary variable. I wasn’t prepared to have regrets about potential financial and tennis implications.”

In an interview last year, 24-time Grand Slam winner Margaret Court – now a Pentecostal Christian pastor – said tennis was “full of lesbians” and she would not fly with the airline Qantas “where possible” in protest at its support of same-sex marriage.

In response, King was among several former and current players to say she would consider boycotting the Australian Open, where a court is named after the 76-year-old.

Andy Murray, then the British number one, said: “I don’t see why anyone has a problem with two people who love each other getting married.

“If it’s two men, two women, that’s great. I don’t see why it should matter. Everyone should have the same rights.”

Vahaly said: “That is the kind of voice, from the people who are most admired and most respected in the sport, that I think can really change people’s minds.

“Hearing the voices of the most popular and the players at the top of their game serves wonders.

“I don’t think it’s a homophobic environment, but there are blocks of people who are uncomfortable with it. That conversation is not being had.”

BBC Sport – Tennis ultras_FC_Barcelona

ultras FC Barcelona - https://ultrasfcb.com/tennis/11496/

#Barcelona

[baselinewinner]

It would be "helpful" if a male tennis player came out as gay, says former world number 63 Brian Vahaly. via BBC Sport - Tennis

[dariusblogpl]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Gays With Kids (@gays_with_kids)

Były tenisista Brian Vahaly dziś ma męża Billa Jonesa i bliźniaków, Bennett i Parker. Nie przewidywał dziesięć lat temu, że będzie mieć męża i zostanie ojcem. Gdy był graczem jeszcze tenisa zaliczał się do 100 najlepszy graczy tenisa. Vahaly, obecnie mieszka z mężem Jonesem i ich synami w Annapolis, stanie Maryland.

Po tym jak odszedł od tenisa jego życie zmieniło się, zaakceptował kim swoją orientacją i być szczęśliwym. Vahaly to pierwszy pro tenisista w rankingu Top 100 w epoce nowożytnej, aby kiedykolwiek publicznie ujawnił się jest gejem. Wcześniej Francisco Rodriguez, który ujawnił się w 2008 roku ale Rodriguez był w rankingu ATP dopiero 373 miejscu.

Vahaly miał na miejsce 64 w 2003 roku, jego najlepszy sezon kiedy pokonał trzech czołowych 10 zawodników, w tym ówczesny rankingu nr 1 gracza. (Bill Tilden, trzykrotny mistrza Wimbledonu, który zmarł w 1953 roku, był także gej w czasie, kiedy ten temat nie był omawiany publicznie) - Out Sports.

[rtawngs20815]

Former Pro Tennis Player And Gay Dad Sounds Off On Margaret Court's Homophobia

This article originally appeared on Outsports

Brian Vahaly has two main points to get across to Margaret Court: When it comes to same-sex parents, she doesn’t know what she is talking about and her words hurt. 

“I think if she met little Parker and Bennett and actually came into our home, she would understand why her words were so hurtful to so many people,” Vahaly, a former men’s tennis Top 100 player, told Outsports about the twin boys he and his husband, Bill Jones, are raising. Parker and Bennett Jones Vahaly turn 1 on Wednesday.

Vahaly, 37, who retired from the sport 10 years ago and was ranked as high as No. 64 on the tour, was reacting to the anti-LGBT comments made numerous times by the Australian Court, 74, a tennis legend who won 24 titles.

In addition to opposing same-sex marriage, Court is also critical of same-sex parents, saying a child raised without a male and female parent would be “deprived.”

In addressing the birth of a child to tennis player Casey Dellacqua and her female partner, Court wrote in a letter to a newspaper:

“If we continue to dismantle the traditional family unit as old fashioned, archaic and no longer even necessary, we will create a fatherless generation.

“Indeed, the lines are becoming increasingly blurred as the march towards such partnerships, even gay marriage, is fueled by minority voices rising in opposition to respected Christian beliefs which many cultures believe.

“I simply want to champion the rights of the family over the rights of the individual to engineer social norms into their relationships.

“I really want to see a society where traditional family values are still celebrated and every child has the best possible start in life.”

Court’s comments about same-sex marriage — along with ones that had her equating LGBT people to practicing mind control tricks used by Hitler, communism and the devil — have stirred controversy among current and retired players, with many urging Tennis Australia to rename Margaret Court Arena, site of the Australian Open.

Vahaly first publicly discussed being gay a month ago on a podcast with Sports Illustrated senior writer and tennis expert Jon Wertheim. After he saw my write-up of Court’s comments, Vahaly agreed to discuss her remarks in the context of being a dad. “It is my background as a father that makes the Court article so troubling,” he said.

Vahaly is a venture capitalist, while Jones is a real estate agent. They live with Parker and Bennett in Annapolis, Maryland.

Q: Margaret Court is against same-sex marriage, and says, “I have nothing against gay people but a child needs a mother and a father and the first two chapters of the Bible are all about family.” What would you like to say to Court about her views both as a dad and a gay man?

Vahaly: I would encourage Margaret to actually spend time with gay people who have families. Gay people do not just wake up with children. It’s a serious, intense, and exhausting experience that takes years and a lot money.

If there is one thing you must know — is that every child in the family of a gay couple is so incredibly loved and wanted. These kids have two parents who love them and are crazy about them.

Her insinuation about my little boys not being OK because they do not have a mother — well, I would ask her to share the data to support that claim.

In my experience, I have often found that most people who discriminate and stereotype people or families tend to lack first-hand knowledge. I think if she met little Parker and Bennett and actually came into our home, she would understand why her words were so hurtful to so many people.

Q: Do you think Margaret Court Arena needs to be renamed and if so, why?

Vahaly: I would be incredibly moved to see Tennis Australia take a stance on behalf of the gay and lesbian tennis players and remove Margaret’s name from the arena.

I would encourage them to think through the message they are sending if they allow this discrimination to stand. I will say that I have tremendous respect for what Margaret Court accomplished on the tennis court. But it’s a slap in the face to countless tennis players and tennis greats — Billie Jean King, Martina Navratilova, to name a few — who are expected to play on a court and be told their lives are equated to what Hitler did to children in Germany. It simply cannot be tolerated.

Q: Assume for the moment you were able to still be playing pro tennis — would you have an issue playing in an arena named for Margaret Court?

Vahaly: I played against Andre Agassi in the 2003 Australian Open in Margaret Court Arena. If I were still competing, I would have a difficult time playing on that court.

Q: Are you encouraged by current players speaking out about Court?

Vahaly: Seeing that the current No. 1 player in the world, Andy Murray, is speaking on behalf of gay and lesbian players is incredibly inspiring to watch. He has no reason to step into this discussion, but he is doing it because he knows it’s the right thing to do. Having the support of the No. 1 player speaks volumes.

Q: Had you always wanted children and was there a moment after realizing you were gay that you felt that being a dad was not possible and how did you cope with that?

Vahaly: Once I had come to terms with my sexuality in my late 20s, I did take the time to mourn that my life would likely be one without marriage or kids. Similar to sports, things do not always go your way and while its OK to be upset about it, at some point, you just have to move forward. I believe there is tremendous meaning to be had in a life, with or without children.

Q: How did you and your husband, Bill, come to the decision to have children?

Vahaly: Bill and I talked about having kids very early in our relationship. For Bill, it was non-negotiable and so it was always on the table. We tended to talk more about kids than we did about marriage, and began the long two-year surrogacy process earlier in our relationship. When we got married in Georgia in 2015, we found out on our wedding night that our surrogate was pregnant.

Q: How has your life changed since having children?

Vahaly: I believe the best way to say it is — our life exploded after having children. We relied on so much help from our family and friends, and we feel so fortunate to have so many wonderful people who love these little boys.

We certainly do not travel as much as we once did and certainly never get as much sleep, but it’s been so much fun. I will tell you having twins for the first four months can about drive you insane. But we got through it — and now it has been an absolute blast.

Q: What has been the most unexpected thing you discovered about being dad from the mundane to the meaningful?

Vahaly: These boys just bring a different meaning and sense of purpose to our lives. I finally feel I have a sense of purpose that I have not felt since my tennis playing days. You live for the moments where they rest their heads on your shoulder. You quickly learn that you don’t know as much as you think you do.

You realize someday that you will actually die — and these boys and this family will be the legacy that matters most.

I will say that having little boys provides a new sense of perspective for me, which even changed the way I even experienced my marriage. He was no longer a chosen partner and husband — he is now my family.

Brian Vahaly can be reached via email: Brianv22@gmail.com

For more from OutSports, check out these stories:

Transgender Muay Thai fighter makes history

Rise and shout, the Cougars are out

Did Christian soccer player Jaelene Hinkle skip U.S. women’s team trip because they wore pride jerseys?

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rEX1Uf

[realestate63141]

Former Pro Tennis Player And Gay Dad Sounds Off On Margaret Court's Homophobia

This article originally appeared on Outsports

Brian Vahaly has two main points to get across to Margaret Court: When it comes to same-sex parents, she doesn’t know what she is talking about and her words hurt. 

“I think if she met little Parker and Bennett and actually came into our home, she would understand why her words were so hurtful to so many people,” Vahaly, a former men’s tennis Top 100 player, told Outsports about the twin boys he and his husband, Bill Jones, are raising. Parker and Bennett Jones Vahaly turn 1 on Wednesday.

Vahaly, 37, who retired from the sport 10 years ago and was ranked as high as No. 64 on the tour, was reacting to the anti-LGBT comments made numerous times by the Australian Court, 74, a tennis legend who won 24 titles.

In addition to opposing same-sex marriage, Court is also critical of same-sex parents, saying a child raised without a male and female parent would be “deprived.”

In addressing the birth of a child to tennis player Casey Dellacqua and her female partner, Court wrote in a letter to a newspaper:

“If we continue to dismantle the traditional family unit as old fashioned, archaic and no longer even necessary, we will create a fatherless generation.

“Indeed, the lines are becoming increasingly blurred as the march towards such partnerships, even gay marriage, is fueled by minority voices rising in opposition to respected Christian beliefs which many cultures believe.

“I simply want to champion the rights of the family over the rights of the individual to engineer social norms into their relationships.

“I really want to see a society where traditional family values are still celebrated and every child has the best possible start in life.”

Court’s comments about same-sex marriage — along with ones that had her equating LGBT people to practicing mind control tricks used by Hitler, communism and the devil — have stirred controversy among current and retired players, with many urging Tennis Australia to rename Margaret Court Arena, site of the Australian Open.

Vahaly first publicly discussed being gay a month ago on a podcast with Sports Illustrated senior writer and tennis expert Jon Wertheim. After he saw my write-up of Court’s comments, Vahaly agreed to discuss her remarks in the context of being a dad. “It is my background as a father that makes the Court article so troubling,” he said.

Vahaly is a venture capitalist, while Jones is a real estate agent. They live with Parker and Bennett in Annapolis, Maryland.

Q: Margaret Court is against same-sex marriage, and says, “I have nothing against gay people but a child needs a mother and a father and the first two chapters of the Bible are all about family.” What would you like to say to Court about her views both as a dad and a gay man?

Vahaly: I would encourage Margaret to actually spend time with gay people who have families. Gay people do not just wake up with children. It’s a serious, intense, and exhausting experience that takes years and a lot money.

If there is one thing you must know — is that every child in the family of a gay couple is so incredibly loved and wanted. These kids have two parents who love them and are crazy about them.

Her insinuation about my little boys not being OK because they do not have a mother — well, I would ask her to share the data to support that claim.

In my experience, I have often found that most people who discriminate and stereotype people or families tend to lack first-hand knowledge. I think if she met little Parker and Bennett and actually came into our home, she would understand why her words were so hurtful to so many people.

Q: Do you think Margaret Court Arena needs to be renamed and if so, why?

Vahaly: I would be incredibly moved to see Tennis Australia take a stance on behalf of the gay and lesbian tennis players and remove Margaret’s name from the arena.

I would encourage them to think through the message they are sending if they allow this discrimination to stand. I will say that I have tremendous respect for what Margaret Court accomplished on the tennis court. But it’s a slap in the face to countless tennis players and tennis greats — Billie Jean King, Martina Navratilova, to name a few — who are expected to play on a court and be told their lives are equated to what Hitler did to children in Germany. It simply cannot be tolerated.

Q: Assume for the moment you were able to still be playing pro tennis — would you have an issue playing in an arena named for Margaret Court?

Vahaly: I played against Andre Agassi in the 2003 Australian Open in Margaret Court Arena. If I were still competing, I would have a difficult time playing on that court.

Q: Are you encouraged by current players speaking out about Court?

Vahaly: Seeing that the current No. 1 player in the world, Andy Murray, is speaking on behalf of gay and lesbian players is incredibly inspiring to watch. He has no reason to step into this discussion, but he is doing it because he knows it’s the right thing to do. Having the support of the No. 1 player speaks volumes.

Q: Had you always wanted children and was there a moment after realizing you were gay that you felt that being a dad was not possible and how did you cope with that?

Vahaly: Once I had come to terms with my sexuality in my late 20s, I did take the time to mourn that my life would likely be one without marriage or kids. Similar to sports, things do not always go your way and while its OK to be upset about it, at some point, you just have to move forward. I believe there is tremendous meaning to be had in a life, with or without children.

Q: How did you and your husband, Bill, come to the decision to have children?

Vahaly: Bill and I talked about having kids very early in our relationship. For Bill, it was non-negotiable and so it was always on the table. We tended to talk more about kids than we did about marriage, and began the long two-year surrogacy process earlier in our relationship. When we got married in Georgia in 2015, we found out on our wedding night that our surrogate was pregnant.

Q: How has your life changed since having children?

Vahaly: I believe the best way to say it is — our life exploded after having children. We relied on so much help from our family and friends, and we feel so fortunate to have so many wonderful people who love these little boys.

We certainly do not travel as much as we once did and certainly never get as much sleep, but it’s been so much fun. I will tell you having twins for the first four months can about drive you insane. But we got through it — and now it has been an absolute blast.

Q: What has been the most unexpected thing you discovered about being dad from the mundane to the meaningful?

Vahaly: These boys just bring a different meaning and sense of purpose to our lives. I finally feel I have a sense of purpose that I have not felt since my tennis playing days. You live for the moments where they rest their heads on your shoulder. You quickly learn that you don’t know as much as you think you do.

You realize someday that you will actually die — and these boys and this family will be the legacy that matters most.

I will say that having little boys provides a new sense of perspective for me, which even changed the way I even experienced my marriage. He was no longer a chosen partner and husband — he is now my family.

Brian Vahaly can be reached via email: Brianv22@gmail.com

For more from OutSports, check out these stories:

Transgender Muay Thai fighter makes history

Rise and shout, the Cougars are out

Did Christian soccer player Jaelene Hinkle skip U.S. women’s team trip because they wore pride jerseys?

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rEX1Uf