#breaking my tumblr silence to say this wow

[shy2-29]

omg I love seeing new creators on tumblr! But hear me out.. do you know how Jake was showing engene a video or smth on his laptop, then an ad came out and it sounded like a girl moaning?? Could you make it seem like it was actually jake and y/n’s intimate moment from last night that Jake recorded and it happened to be saved on his laptop? Tysm also early happy new years 🎉🥳

Uncovering Secrets: Jake’s Weverse Slip-up

pairing: sim jaeyun x reader

wc: 941

synopsis: your boyfriend Jake decides to go live on weverse in one of HYBE’s studio rooms, while you’re sitting off camera, waiting for him to finish. A specific comment comes up, leading Jake to turn on his laptop, revealing an intimate video of you two that he took from last night.

authors note: wow. Okay I’m proud of this one 🤓 also I’m pretty sure you meant this video but if not, I’m so sorry ��� it took me quite some time to write this but lmk if you have any more suggestions as my requests are currently OPEN 🤗

warning: nsfw, harsh language, jake is an idol, minor degrading, protected sex, mentions of jungwon, not proof read recorded sex. lmk if I missed anything

age: 18+ minors dni.

—

As Jake began his Weverse Live for engenes, the viewer count were already at 900k people. Sitting at a desk, he placed his phone against a laptop, allowing them to see his face, but not his screen.

He scanned through the chat, which was brimming with comments, and a particular one caught his eye—“What song have you been playing non-stop?”

“Non-stop, huh?" Jake grins into the camera, contemplating for a moment before his lips curve into a sly smirk.

“There's this one song I can't seem to get out of my head recently." He looks back at his laptop, clicking on his mouse a couple times before turning back to the camera.

He momentarily diverts his attention to the laptop, his cursor clicking a few times before he refocuses on the camera. "So the song is called 'Overdrive' by Post Malone," he explains, his expression showcasing a cheeky yet playful side.

His gaze subtly flickers in your direction, noticing you scrolling on your phone with your legs crossed, waiting for him to conclude his live. “It came out-like yesterday, and it’s really good so imma play it,” he says. A sound of a mouse being clicked is heard afterwards.

Jake impatiently taps his foot, waiting for the laptop to come back to life. And then, without warning, the sounds of rhythmic slapping and guttural grunts, mixed with high-pitched moans, start echoing through the live feed.

Your heart sinks as you realize what's happening—it’s the video he took of your guy’s intimate session from last night. Frozen in your spot, you glance nervously at the laptop, hoping that his fans won't catch sight of you.

Jake panics as he tries to keep a casual demure, hoping there aren’t too many questions from engenes coming in. He mumbles something under his breath that no one can’t quite make sense of, a look of panic in his eyes.

“This is not it,” he says casually, the sounds of clicking getting faster as his laptop is frozen in place.

“Uh,” Jake says, his mind racing at the sight of the comments flooding in. “Wait,” he mutters. His eyes flicker back and forth between the frozen laptop and the camera. You then decide to take action, stepping behind the camera to end the live.

As the live feed abruptly ends, Jake lets out a sigh of relief, his heart racing. He turns to face you, his eyes wide with panic and embarrassment. “Fuck, fuck, fuck...” he grumbles, running a hand through his black hair, tugging at the strands.

The room fills with the sounds of the video you captured and Jake's labored breathing. You break the silence, your voice cutting through the air. "Jake, what's that video doing on your laptop?" you inquire, your gaze locked on the laptop, the video now showing Jake pounding into you relentlessly, your hair all messed up and ruined as you hear him saying, “yeah? being such a good girl for me huh?”

Jake's face turns beet red as he quickly slams the laptop shut, the sounds of your moans and his grunts immediately silenced. He avoids your gaze, his ears burning with embarrassment. “I-I don't know, it must have autoloaded or something...”

He shifts uncomfortably, his eyes darting around the room, avoiding your accusing gaze. He knows he's caught red-handed, the evidence of his secret recording plain as day on the laptop screen. He swallows hard, his mind racing for an excuse, any excuse.

Finally looking at you, his cheeks still flushed with embarrassment, he admits in a small voice "I... I recorded it because I wanted to watch it again. You were just... I got carried away..." He runs a hand through his hair again, tugging at the ends nervously.

You sigh at his words, slouching back down into the couch. “Okay..” you start off, “well what are you going to do with engenes? the whole video is downloaded onto weverse..”

His expression turns grave, his mind racing with the implications. He pulls out his phone, navigating to Weverse and seeing the numerous screenshots and clips being shared among engenes. He swallows hard, his palms sweating, then letting out a mixture of a sigh and a laugh, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"They're either going to assume I'm just really horny or that I forgot to click off porn," he chuckles, attempting to lessen the tension as he stretches his arms behind his back.

His eyes meet yours, a mix of embarrassment and amusement in them* "Or both, probably," he adds with a faint smile, trying to lighten the mood. He stretches his arms behind his back, trying to ease the tension.

Suddenly, the door swings open forcefully, and Jungwon stomps into the room, an urgent tone in his voice.

"Jake, what did you just do?"

—

idssoowosos:dkskwi lwk I’d freak 😭 reblog to show support <3

[sieglinde-freud]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YUKIMURA GETS INTO HEROES BEFORE SCARLET AND BASE REINA ARE YOU KIDDING ME

[suiana]

SHUTUP I GOT AN IDEA BECAUSE OF THIS TUMBLR POST I SAW

imagine being the spouse of a high ranking court judge. the problem is that you're a big ass criminal (like, tax evasion and stuff idk) and you finally get caught by the police.

thankfully, your yandere! judge has decided to save you.

"you are convicted for several accounts of tax fraud and love scamming. do you plead guilty?"

"yeah, i did it. I'm not trying to lie or defend myself. anyway, is it really my fault if those guys were so gullible-"

"silence in the court."

you can only stare awkwardly as the judge enters the cout room and silences everyone. why was his voice so- oh. it's your husband..? IT'S YOUR HUSBAND?!

you weren't really sure what happened throughout the rest of the court session. you heard something about how you weren't in the wrong and how your husband would often go on tangents about why your crimes weren't considered crimes because it was you who did it.

before you knew it, you found your lawyer cheering in joy as the judge announced the results of the case.

"partially guilty. punishment is to be on house arrest for a month and to give their husband attention. case dismissed."

"s-sir! there is clear evidence of them committing-"

"you heard me the first time and i won't repeat myself. case dismissed."

you were in a daze the rest of the way home. was it... really that easy? i mean, you knew your husband would bend the world and back for you but to blatantly excuse your crimes like that... in front of tons of people too! isn't that-

"honey, you-"

"why would i put you in prison? that would be a punishment for me as well. also, have you forgotten who i am and my status? i'd break any law ethics for you, and no one would be able to say anything."

wow.... you never knew he was so... romantic.

i mean, you knew he was obsessed and loved you when he stalked and practically forced you to marry him but this had to be the ultimate act of love!

"also, i killed the guys you love scammed."

wait what?

[april015]

More than Expected - S.R.

Pairing: Spencer x Bau!Reader

Word Count - 1.05K

A/N - this is my first time posting on Tumblr. Hope this isn't too long for you guys. And don't be afraid to request something cause I want some ideas :)

For as long as you’ve been at the BAU, you would’ve thought that the feelings you felt for this man would go noticed. By someone. Anyone. It’s been years. The feeling of hopelessness beginning to eat at you. With such a great team of profilers, it’s hard to imagine that not a single one of them has caught on. Not even the doctor himself.  

“I need a drink. Anyone else?” Morgan asks as he begins to get up from the couch. A few accept the offer while others decline.  

While the others continue their conversation, you can’t help but steal multiple glances at Spencer who was sitting next to you. You always found it odd how he would always sit next to you but would stay too quiet for his usual self. You get lost in your thoughts and begin to imagine various scenarios where you confess your feelings for him. Some of those ending horribly and others ending with a passionate kiss or even a hug. You’re pulled out of your thoughts when a soft voice calls out to you. Repeating your name several times before successfully grabbing your attention. 

“What’d you say?”  

“I asked if you were ok.”  

God that look. That look had the same effect on you as the hot blazing sun has on ice cream. It made you want to melt. Melt into him. Maybe it was nonsense. Maybe not. 

“Oh, yea I'm ok.”  

“You were pretty deep into your thoughts, are you sure?” You nodded back to him in response to his question. He cared so much. It almost hurt. You couldn’t think of him like that. It was incredibly unprofessional. You couldn’t cross that line. Or maybe you could. No. Unless....  

“Hey. Could I talk to you for a minute Emily?”  

You both walk out to your room. You wanted somebody to know. Anybody. Since you were hosting this little get together, your room was only a couple steps away. You swiftly closed the door behind you. You look at her to see a confused and worried look.  

“Ok so. Imma just say it cause there’s really no other way of going around it. You can’t judge me. You know what. Never mind. I shouldn’t be thinking about any of thi-”  

“Spill. Now.”  

“I have feelings for Spencer.” Wow. Just like that. Really? You didn’t even get a chance to think to yourself, but here you are. Spilling everything to Emily. There was a moment of silence before she responded.  

“I hate to break it to you, but we all already know. Except for Spencer. God you both are so oblivious. Makes me wonder how you two manage to be such great profilers.”  

“Seriously? I thought I was being discreet.”  

“Far from it. Listen. I thought you two were going to figure this out on your own, but apparently not. He likes you. You like him. Tell him.”  

“No, he doesn’t. You don’t have to try to make me feel better. I just don’t know what to do.” You want to believe Emily. You really do. But you also do not want to get your hopes up.  

“Have you not noticed the way he is around you? On the plane, at the bullpen, in the conference room, here, he always chooses to sit next to you. He gets all quiet instead of his usual rambles. Just talk to him. One on one and you’ll see what we all have been seeing for so long.” She walks out with a comforting smile. If only there was a way to know what Spencer was thinking about you. Maybe you should just say Fuck it and go talk to him.  

You sat back into your spot. Your knee touching his. Shoulder and shoulder. Thigh and thigh. Arm and arm. You were testing out the waters. Wanting to know if he would move away from you or not. You saw Emily and JJ shooting you knowing glances. Almost telling you to just say something to him.  

While you were busy talking to Emily and JJ through looks, you didn’t notice the looks Derek had been giving Spencer. All of which were not discreet and were telling him to do the same and go talk to you.  

“I need some fresh air.” You say while getting up. You went out to the balcony. Admiring the city and its views. Give or take 5 minutes when you hear the door being slid open. You didn’t bother looking to see who it was.  

“Mind if I join?”  

It was Spencer. He took a similar position as you did. Leaning against the railing of the balcony. You give him a smile that lets him know you were perfectly fine with him being there. If anything, you were more than fine with it.  

“Feels like we haven’t had a conversation in a long time. Even though I’m aware that we talk on a regular basis.” You let out a sigh before responding to him. Not sure of what to say.  

“Hmm. Yea. You’re so uncharacteristically quiet around me. Wasn’t sure you did want to talk.”  

“It’s not by choice.”  

You look at him. Confused.  

“What do you mean by that Spencer?”  

“You make it almost impossible to speak. Feels like a lump in my throat when I’m around you.”  

“I’m not sure if you mean that as a good thing or not.”  

“I want to talk to you. I really do, but...” There was a long pause. Tenstion surrounding the both of you  

“I guess what I'm getting at is that I like you. A lot more than I expected to.” There was silence. Nothing was said for a moment. You were enjoying it. However, Spencer was beginning to worry that he had said all the wrong things. Before he could take back his word or apologize you smiled. Instead of saying anything you kissed him. 

You quickly pulled away when you heard a couple woos and “about time!” from the team inside. Ew. You forgot the doors were made of glass. You opted for a hug since you didn’t want to worry about the big deal your team would make.  

“I’m never doing anything remotely PDA in front of them ever again. What an odd group of people,” you said as you went back inside with Spencer close behind you.  

I apologize if this was too long. Hope you guys enjoyed! <3

[smokingchagga]

Throatslitter is a precious babygirl and here is why...

Some weeks ago I said that once I finished the Crippled God I would write and essay about why Throatslitter is a precious babygirl. Well. Here I am. Now THIS is the serious & interesting Malazan content that Tumblr needs more of. Honestly, this is just me gushing about how much I love this one weird little dude.

This does spoil some things about MBOTF, but not that much at the end of the day since I’m only talking about one very minor character.

So, let’s look at how his story evolves throughout each book he appears in.

House of Chains

Throatslitter does basically nothing in this book. It’s mentioned that he exists and that’s it. There is a little funny scene where Strings and Balm talk about his name though. 

Strings glanced over at another soldier from the 9th squad, a man standing nearby looking as if he wanted to kill something. ‘And what about him? What’s his name again, Throatslitter? Did his ma decide on that for her little one, do you think?’ ‘Can’t say,’ Balm replied. ‘Give a toddler a knife and who knows what’ll happen.’

The Bonehunters

The first time we properly see Throatslitter is in the Bonehunters. My first thought was, “wow, that’s a ridiculous name for a character. What a little freak.” I honestly wasn’t particularly intrigued by him by this point. But it is funny (and appropriate) that the first description we get of Throatslitter is of him laughing.

“Throatslitter hissed - what passed for laughter, Bottle supposed…”

Throatslitter also gets automatic cool points for being one of the soldiers who crawled through the bones of Y’Ghatan. He doesn’t really do many things in this book except be a murderous lil dude. His name appears in this book only 26 times but he’s neat enough for the little he gets to do. 

Reaper’s Gale

Now this is where things get fun! The first thing Throatslitter does in this book is talk about how hot Shurq Elalle is (fair enough) and then think about his freaky laugh. 

The last thing he wanted to do was break into another one of his trilling, uncanny laughs that seemed to freeze everyone within earshot. Never used to have a laugh sounding like that. Damn thing scares even me. Well, he’d taken a throatful of oily flames and it’d done bad things to his voice-reed.

Wow. That’s kinda unfortunate, isn’t it? Now let me present to you the scene that sold me on the character of Throatslitter. It’s a little long but bear with me. (Context: they are talking about Shurq Elalle)

‘Trust me,’ the corporal replied after taking a deep draught. He belched. ‘Sure, she’s hiding it well, but that woman died some time ago.’  Balm was hunched over the table, scratching at the tangles of his hair. Flakes drifted down to land like specks of paint on the dark wood. ‘Gods below,’ he whispered. ‘Maybe somebody should … I don’t know … maybe … tell her?’  Deadsmell’s mostly hairless brows lifted. ‘Excuse me, ma’am, you have a complexion to die for and I guess that’s what you did.’  Another squawk from Throatslitter.  The corporal continued, ‘Is it true, ma’am, that perfect hair and expensive make-up can hide anything?’  A choked squeal from Throatslitter.  Heads turned.  Deadsmell drank down another mouthful, warming to the subject. ‘Funny, you don’t look dead.’  The high-pitched cackle erupted.  As it died, sudden silence in the main room of the tavern, barring that of a rolling tankard, which then plunged off a tabletop and bounced on the floor.  Balm glared at Deadsmell. ‘You done that. You just kept pushing and pushing. Another word from you, corporal, and you’ll be deader than she is.’  ‘What’s that smell?’ Deadsmell asked. ‘Oh right. Essence of putrescence.’  Balm’s cheeks bulged, his face turning a strange purple shade. His yellowy eyes looked moments from leaping out on their stalks.  Throatslitter tried squeezing his own eyes shut, but the image of his sergeant’s face burst into his mind. He shrieked behind his hands. Looked round in helpless appeal.  All attention was fixed on them now, no-one speaking. Even the beautiful woman who’d shipped in with that maimed oaf and the oaf himself – whose one good eye glittered out from the folds of a severe frown – had paused, standing each to one side of the cask of ale the tavernkeeper had brought out. And the keeper himself, staring at Throatslitter with mouth hanging open. ‘Well,’ Deadsmell observed, ‘there goes our credit as bad boys. Throaty here’s making mating calls – hope there’s no turkeys on this island. And you, sergeant, your head looks ready to explode like a cusser.’

Oh my god. This poor babygirl. Can’t a man laugh without being judged? And Deadsmell called him “Throaty”! Throaty. What a fucking nickname. It perfectly encapsulates his babygirlness. I’m convinced that Deadsmell secretly loves hearing Throaty’s laughter. 

And then we get Throatslitter’s backstory! He recalls his father’s story about the day Kellanved and his Logros T’lan Imass took over Li Heng. His father’s story shows lil baby Throaty just how formidable Kellanved was. All of that and then for Kellanved to die by being stabbed in the back. Throaty realizes that a single person with a knife is enough to change the world.

Command the T’lan Imass didn’t stop the knife in the back, did it? This detail was the defining revelation of Throatslitter’s life. Command thousands, tens of thousands. Command sorcerors and imperial fleets. Hold in your hand the lives of a million citizens. The real power was none of this. The real power was the knife in the hand, the hand at the fool’s back. 

Throatslitter’s father makes and paints pots for a living. He has no respect for his father’s profession because of how fragile pots are. His father will never leave a mark in the world and that’s not the type of life Throatslitter wants for himself.

Eldest son or not, mixing glazes and circling a kiln on firing day was no the future he dreamed about. But you can paint me, Father, and call it ‘The Coming of the Assassin’. My likeness to adorn funeral urns - those who fell to the knife, of course. Too bad you never understood the world well enough to honour me. My chosen profession. My war against inequity in this miserable, evil existence. And striking my name from the family line, well now, really, that was uncalled for.

And then this guy goes out and joins the Talons! I think it’s quite impressive that he manage to evade Surly’s culling of the Talons where his senior Talons didn’t (or most of them anyway).

I also really like the fact that he (unlike many others) is completely down with Tavore’s speech about them being unwitnessed. Most of the soldiers can’t stand the idea that their sacrifice won’t be appreciated but Throatslitter genuinely doesn’t seem to mind. 

Still, the Adjunct has asked for loyalty. For service to an unknown cause. We are to be unwitnessed, she said. That suits me fine. It’s how assassins conduct their trade.

Unwitnessed. Most soldiers don’t like that idea. True, it made them hard - when she told them - but that fierceness can’t last. The iron is too cold. Its taste too bitter.

Throatslitter’s POV in Reaper’s Gale chapter 14 is very neat in my humble Throaty simp opinion. The guy spends the entire time judging the people around him. This POV shows that the guy is not a complete idiot (especially for a minor background character). Gods, I love the fact that Erikson gives us these small bits from the POVs of random, mostly inconsequential characters. I know some people dislike it and think it drags the story down but I disagree. I think it brings a lot of life to the army and its different squads. 

Shurq correctly judges Throatslitter’s character  and comes to the conclusion that he’s a little fucked up bloodthirsty freak. 

Throatslitter, who sat opposite Shurq, now cleared his throat - producing an odd squeak - and smiled across at her. She looked away, pointedly. That man was not a nice man. The way Gerun Eberict hadn’t been a nice man. Took too much pleasure in his job, she suspected. And even for a soldier, that wasn’t sensible. People like that tended to linger when lingering wasn’t good. Tended to put other soldiers at risk. Tended to get carried away. No, she didn’t like Throatslitter. 

And Throatslitter appreciates how much of a snack Masan Gilani is! Just look at this little bit from chapter 24.

Ahead, Masan Gilani did that unthinkable thing again and rose in her stirrups, leaning forward as she urged her horse into a gallop. From behind Balm, Throatslitter moaned like a puppy under a brick.

Same, Throaty, same. 

Dust of Dreams

Throatslitter is a nosy dude. He eavesdrops on the sergeant’s meeting. What a greedy little delinquent. 

He cursed himself for being so damned nosy. He spied to feed his curiosity and - he had to admit - to give himself an advantage on his fellow soldiers, reason for his sly expression and sardonic, knowing smile, and a man like him wasn’t satisfied if it was all just for show. 

Later on in the book he threatens to murder Deadsmell for cheating in a game of toughs which was amusing. That’s legit the only thing that happens in that scene. The boys are playing a nice game of troughs and then Throatslitter starts threatening the shit out of Deadsmell. Oh and then he lunges at Ebron when he finds out that he also magicked the game. The babygirl has gone feral. It’s such a useless scene and I love it. 

‘Deadsmell, might be it’s a  safe thing to be magicking the casts and whatnot, so long as you’re playing nitwits or fellow spooks or both. But, see, I’m Throatslitter, remember? I kill people for a living, in ways no reasonable, sane soldier could hope to imagine. Am I getting through here? You bring your talents to this game, maybe so will I.’

Just look at how bloodthirsty he is! What a babygirl. 

A tiny interaction that made me smile:

‘Never mind Hood,’ snapped Widdershins. ‘Wasn’t him made me wet my trousers.’ Balm stared with huge eyes. ‘Did you really? Gods below.’ Throatslitter burst out a sudden, piping laugh. Then ducked. ‘Sorry. Just… well, never mind.’

And then comes the scene where Throatslitter keeps laughing, making the whole army uncomfortable. I swear, I love these Malazans but holy shit can’t a murderous babygirl laugh in peace?

Another piping laugh from Throatslitter. Cuttle scowled. ‘What’s so fucking funny?’ Corabb had been sleeping, or pretending to sleep, and now he sat up. ‘I’ll go find out, Cuttle. It’s getting on my nerves too.’ ‘If he’s being a bastard, Corabb, punch his face in.’

Throaty and his pals are cackling about these weird brainless greasy magic rats. It’s kinda fucked up actually.

‘So, Throatslitter, they stopped being funny?’ ‘Aye, now go.’ ‘Cos if I hear another laugh, I ain’t coming back to talk.’ ‘It’s just a laugh, Corabb. People got ‘em, right? All kinds-’ ‘But yours makes the skin crawl.’ ‘Good, since it’s how I sound when I slit some bastard’s useless throat.’

Look, I love Corabb as much as the next person, but damn. I will not tolerate this disrespect to my boy Throatslitter. On a side note, I would love to see how a live action adaptation would execute Throaty’s fucked up laugh. I imagine him sounding a bit like that one hyena (Ed) from the Lion King, just more fucked.

The Crippled God

So, Throatslitter’s throat got messed up even further in the battle of the Nah’ruk at the end of DoD. Poor dude. He just can’t catch a break. Anyway, Deadsmell makes a funny joke. In fact, most of Throatslitter’s scenes in this book are just his squad making him laugh. There are so many little scenes where people just make him laugh. It’s quite wholesome actually.

Widdershins crowded up behind Throatslitter, Deadsmell and the sergeant. ‘Did any of you hear Bottle back there? That stuff about our name?’ Throatslitter scowled. ‘What?’ ‘He was asking about how we got our name.’ ‘So?’ ‘So, I just think… well… I think it’s important. I think Bottle knows something, but he’s keeping it quiet-’ ‘Bottled up?’ Deadsmell asked. Throatslitter’s high-pitched laugh triggered curses up and down the line. The assassin hissed under his breath. ‘Sorry, that just came out.’ ‘So give him a shake, Wid,’ pressed Deadsmell, ‘until it all gushes out. He’s got a cork somewhere, go and find it.’ Throatslitter snorted, and then choked as he held down another squeal.

What really gets me is what Badan Gruk says about Throatslitter afterward. I just think it’s amusing that Badan Gruk immediately thinks the worst of Throatslitter when in truth Throaty is just laughing at puns about Bottle’s name. What a dork.

Sinter winced at the cry behind them. ‘Gods, I wish he’d stop doing that.’ ‘Nothing very funny about this,’ Badan Gruk agreed. ‘But then it’s Throatslitter, isn’t it? That man would laugh over his dying sister.’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t get people like him. Taking pleasure in misery, in torture, all that. What’s to laugh about? Talk about a messed-up mind.’

God forbid a man have a little fun around here.

Helian is absolutely hilarious.

‘Hear that?’ she aksed. ‘That was a damned hyena.’ ‘That was Throatslitter, Sergeant.’ ‘He killed a hyena? Good for him.’

Throatslitter gets shot in the ass in this book when the army is going through a little bit of a mutiny (thanks Blistig). So that’s unfortunate. And in this scene his squad start calling him “Throat”. Fucking THROAT. Oh my god. It’s so goofy. 

So. Now we come to a scene that actually made me tear up. It’s the bit where the Bonehunters split off and Fiddler leads the marines to their final battle. The plot is finally coming to an end and soon it’s time to say goodbye. Deadsmell has some thoughts about everything and it really got me in the feelz. 

Deadsmell didn’t want to say goodbye, not to anyone. Not even Throatslitter limping one row ahead of him, whom with a choice comment or two he could make yelp that laugh - like squeezing a duck. Always entertaining, seeing people flinch on hearing it. And Deadsmell could do it over and over again. It’d been a while since he’d last heard it, but now was not the time - not with all these regulars on either side. All these men and women saying goodbye to us. The Bonehunters were in their last days. This tortured army could finally see the end of things - and it seemed to have come up on them fast, unexpected, appalling close.

Back home - in the Empire - we’re already lost. Just one more army struck off the ledgers. And this is how things must pass, how things simply go away. We’ve gone and marched ourselves off the edge of the world. I don’t want to say goodbye. And I want to hear Throatslitter’s manic laugh. I want to hear it again and again, and for ever more.

Man, I don’t wanna say goodbye either! We’ve spent the whole book squeezing out cackles from Throaty and now we’re nearing the end of  the road. Goddamit. This scene hit me hard. The scenes where Throatslitter’s buddies made him laugh were some of my favorite moments of levity in this book. And now it’s ending. This book hits like a fucking brick in the face. 

This scene doesn’t directly describe Throatslitter but we know he’s involved. The marines have just halted another charge of the Korerlii. Only 20 or so of them remain to protect the Crippled God. 

Someone coughed nearby, from some huddle of stones, and then spoke. ‘So, who are we fighting for again?’ Fiddler could not place the voice. Nor the one that replied, ‘Everyone.’ A long pause, and then, ‘No wonder we’re losing.’ Six, a dozen heartbeats, before someone snorted. A rumbling laugh followed, and then someone else burst out in a howl of mirth - and all at once, from the dark places among the rocks of this barrow, laughter burgeoned, rolled round, bounced and echoed. 

And so the story of Throatslitter ends in one more burst of laughter. And he’s not laughing alone, making others uncomfortable. No, instead all of the remaining marines laugh together. No wonder those Korerlii got intimidated with Throaty and the rest cackling like maniacs. I don’t know how to put into words just how perfect this moment was. 

Malazan is amazing at making me get attached to minor characters and then using them to emotionally torment me. I get that Throatslitter is minor enough that he doesn’t matter to the plot. He’s not the deepest, most complex character out there but he’s my precious little freak. He’s just a boodthirsty babygirl with a fucked up laugh and I love him for it. 

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Oh my goodness, I recently read a post on ask-ganondorf & holy cats! Like, I know that it's not actually Ganondorf, but I can't imagine someone I don't know just suddenly asking ME how my first sexual experience was regardless of if I'd had one or not!! Like, dude! Forget that it's Ganondorf. You don't just ask anyone that! Especially not of someone you don't know!

What surprised me was that he actually freaking answered!

Of course, then he made a swiping motion with his hand while glancing at a monster, who nodded at him. So, my guess is the inquirerer is no longer an issue.

And now I can't help but imagine some dummy walking up to him & asking this, but before he can even respond (most likely because he was stunned into complete silence by the sheer... I don't even know), his wife just basically says ���How rude!! You don't just walk up to someone & ask that sort of thing! Forget that he could practically crush your skull with his bare hands, which tells me that you possess no sense of self-preservation. (Seriously, are you okay? Is this a cry for help? Do you need assistance?) But, you don't ask this of anyone in public, let alone a stranger! What's wrong with you??? I admit, the audacity is admirable, but there's audacity & then there's… whatever it was that this was supposed to be. This is the sort of inquiry you pose to your closest of bosom buddies at an intimate gathering between close friends! Not someone you don't even know! How incredibly disrespectful! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

She then points towards the door assertively. “Out! Go think about what you’ve done!” As though she were sending a child to their room, to which the invader deflates even further & scurries out the door like a scared little mouse.

Even after they left, his wife appeared to retain a stormy expression, pouting quite cutely from his perspective with arms folded over her chest. “The nerve…” She mumbled under her breath.

So, now, I need his thoughts, feelings, & reaction, because I just can’t with this! 🤣

Like, what does he say to the scene & her fierce, scathing remarks that very obviously cut the rude individual more deeply than him simply cutting them down would’ve. I mean, that was a veritable undressing.

I... Wow. The audacity. I mean, it's Tumblr, so I understand the weirdos here, but YEESH. HAVE SOME MANNORS.

************************************************************************

Oh my goodness, imagining the scene with the Ganondorfs and Demise in that situation is hilarious! Let’s break down how each of them would react to such an audacious and inappropriate question, followed by their wife’s amazing and assertive defense. They’d definitely have some interesting thoughts and reactions!

Wind Waker Ganondorf (Wake):

Wake is the most philosophical and introspective of the Ganondorfs, but that doesn’t mean he’s not caught off guard by this incredibly bold question. Initially, he’d be stunned into silence, not used to such casual invasions of privacy.

Reaction: He’d blink a few times, taking in the sheer audacity of the person. But before he can process a response, his wife steps in with her assertive scolding. As she lays into the person, Wake watches with a mixture of admiration and amusement. He remains quiet, but the corners of his mouth lift in a subtle smirk as she sends the rude person packing.

Once the invader leaves, he’d gently place a hand on her shoulder, calming her down from her stormy expression.

"You handled that well," he’d murmur, his voice low and calming. "I admit, I wouldn’t have been nearly as diplomatic." He might even chuckle softly at the thought of her mothering the intruder as if they were a child. Deep down, he’s amused by how protective she is over him and appreciates her no-nonsense attitude.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf (Bandit):

Bandit, being sharp and quick to anger, would not take kindly to someone asking such a personal question. His initial reaction would be a raised eyebrow and a simmering fury. He’s used to people fearing him, so this would catch him completely off guard.

Reaction: Before he has a chance to unleash his wrath, his wife jumps in with her perfectly phrased lecture, and Bandit is left watching the situation unfold with growing amusement. He crosses his arms, a smirk creeping onto his face as she scolds the rude individual into submission.

As the intruder slinks away, Bandit’s eyes would gleam with dark satisfaction. He’d let out a low chuckle, turning to his wife.

"You saved them from a much worse fate," he’d say, a bit of humor lacing his voice. "But you handle fools better than I do." He’d pull her close, pleased with her fierceness, though part of him still wishes he could’ve dealt with the offender in his own way.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf (Noctis):

Noctis, the cold and intimidating version of Ganondorf, would be completely dumbfounded by such a question. His icy exterior would crack just a bit as he processes the sheer audacity of the inquiry.

Reaction: His first instinct would be to obliterate the fool who dared ask such a question, but before his temper can flare, his wife’s stern lecture cuts through the tension. Noctis watches her assertive takedown with narrowed eyes, his anger slowly dissipating as she effortlessly handles the situation.

Once the invader scurries away, Noctis would remain silent for a moment, his icy expression softening just a little. He’d let out a soft, almost imperceptible grunt of approval.

"You’re far more patient than I am," he’d say, his voice low and cool. "Next time, though, I may not be so merciful." Despite his cold demeanor, he’s secretly impressed by her ability to handle the situation with such grace.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf (Hedony):

Hedony, the most theatrical and grandiose of the Ganondorfs, would initially be too stunned to react. He thrives on control and power, so someone brazenly asking such a personal question would definitely throw him off his game.

Reaction: As his wife steps in and delivers her scathing rebuke, Hedony would slowly recover, a grin spreading across his face. He’d watch the whole scene with barely contained laughter, thoroughly entertained by her fierce defense of his honor. When she finally orders the intruder out, Hedony would burst into a hearty laugh, clapping his hands in approval.

"My queen, you never cease to amaze me!" he’d declare, clearly impressed. "Such fire! Such wit!" He’d dramatically sweep her into his arms, spinning her around with exaggerated flair. "I couldn’t have handled it better myself. Truly, you are a treasure!" He’d find the whole situation delightfully amusing and would relish her fiery spirit.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf (Vendettas):

Vendettas is the most brooding and dangerous of the Ganondorfs, so such a bold and personal question would immediately set him on edge. His first reaction would be a deadly glare, and he’d already be calculating how to dispose of the offender.

Reaction: Before Vendettas can make a move, his wife steps in, unleashing her tirade. He watches with a cold expression as she effortlessly reduces the intruder to a cowering mess. His initial anger fades into quiet amusement as she handles the situation with an unexpected assertiveness.

Once the person scurries away, Vendettas would turn to his wife with a rare, small smile.

"You have a way of silencing fools," he’d say quietly, his voice carrying an edge of approval. "Next time, though, I may not be so patient." He’d appreciate her defense of him, but part of him would still long for a more... final solution to such insolence.

Demise:

Demise, the embodiment of destruction and raw power, would immediately be offended by such a disrespectful question. His first instinct would be to crush the offender underfoot, his temper flaring instantly.

Reaction: Before he can act, his wife jumps in, scolding the rude individual with a righteous fury. Demise watches in silence, his fiery anger slowly cooling as her words cut through the tension. He’s not used to such patience or diplomacy, but he can’t help but admire her fiery defense.

Once the intruder is gone, Demise would let out a low, rumbling growl of approval. He’d look down at his wife with a fierce pride, his eyes gleaming with appreciation.

"You spared them from destruction," he’d say, his voice deep and menacing. "But you did well. Next time, though, I may not be so merciful." Despite his love for chaos, he respects her ability to handle situations in ways he cannot—through words rather than force.

Summary:

Wind Waker Ganondorf: Amused by his wife’s motherly scolding and glad she handled the situation.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf: Darkly amused, but appreciates that his wife spared the offender from a worse fate.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf: Quietly impressed by her ability to handle the situation without violence.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf: Thoroughly entertained, finds her fiery spirit delightful and full of flair.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf: Appreciates her ability to silence fools but is always ready for a harsher response.

Demise: Respects her fiery defense but still longs for a more destructive resolution.

The Demon Kings would all have their own reactions to the situation, but they'd certainly appreciate their SO’s fiery spirit and willingness to defend them, even if it’s in a far more diplomatic way than they would normally choose!

************************************************************************

BONUS: How would The Ganondorfs (Wind Waker, Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess, Hyrule Warriors, and Tears of the Kingdom) & Demise react to someone walking up to them and asking what their first "romantic" experience was like?

Each version of Ganondorf and Demise would have unique reactions to being asked about their first romantic experience. Given their respective personalities, their responses would range from dismissive to reflective, or even amused. Let’s explore how each might react:

Wind Waker Ganondorf:

Wind Waker Ganondorf, known for his philosophical nature, might take the question more seriously than his counterparts. Despite his focus on power and conquest, he’s capable of reflecting on deeper emotions.

Reaction: He would narrow his eyes at first, surprised that someone would dare ask such a personal question. After a moment of silence, he might sigh and say something like, "Love? Romance? Such things were irrelevant in my pursuit of power... until recently." He would be more introspective, perhaps thinking back to a long-forgotten or suppressed memory. "I have lived too long without such trivial distractions. But… perhaps, there was a time when I allowed myself such a luxury." He’d brush it off in the end, but with a hint of hidden longing that suggests there’s more to the story than he’s willing to admit.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf:

This Ganondorf is focused almost entirely on power, conquest, and domination. Romance would have taken a backseat, if not been completely irrelevant to him. He would likely find the question insulting.

Reaction: "Romantic experience?" He would laugh coldly, crossing his arms. "I have no need for such weakness." There would be an underlying sharpness to his tone, as if the idea of romance were beneath him. He might add, "Fools waste their time with such matters. My first experience with power—that is what you should be asking about."

If he were feeling particularly menacing, he might make the person asking regret their curiosity. However, there’s a chance that deep down, Ganondorf might wonder what he missed by forsaking such emotions in his quest for domination.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf:

Twilight Princess Ganondorf, who embodies a cold, calculating demeanor, might find the question laughable or irrelevant. His stoic nature suggests that romantic experiences were never on his radar.

Reaction: "Romance?" His voice would be low, almost dismissive, but there would be a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "I do not concern myself with such mortal indulgences." He would probably turn away, as if the question were beneath him.

If pressed, he might say something like, "My first experience with power—true power—was far more important than any fleeting notion of affection." He views love and romance as distractions from his greater goals, so he wouldn’t linger on the subject for long.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf:

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf is fierce, direct, and aggressive. He would likely find the question amusing, perhaps even entertaining, given his confidence and swagger.

Reaction: He would smirk, his eyes flashing with mischief. "My first romantic experience? Bold of you to assume I concern myself with such trivial matters." He might chuckle, clearly entertained by the audacity of the question. "Romance is a fleeting pleasure. Power is eternal."

Despite his dismissive attitude, there’s a chance he might have a story or two buried under his bravado, but he wouldn’t admit to them easily. If anything, he’d turn the conversation around, challenging the person who asked with a smirk, "Why, do you have a story to share?"

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf:

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf is charming yet menacing, with a deep connection to dark magic and ambition. He might entertain the question more than his other counterparts, though with an edge of danger.

Reaction: He would pause for a moment, then laugh softly. "Ah, romance. How curious that you should ask me this." His smile would be sly, and he would lean in slightly, as if sharing a secret. "My first 'romantic' experience? I have had many pursuits in my life, but none as intoxicating as power." He would likely use the moment to toy with the person asking, enjoying the discomfort his answer might cause.

He might add, "Romance is but a fleeting game. True conquest lies in the heart of a kingdom, not in its people." But there would be a glint in his eyes, perhaps suggesting that romance, while fleeting, has its uses.

Demise:

Demise, the embodiment of destruction and raw power, would almost certainly find the question absurd. Romance has no place in his world of domination and chaos.

Reaction: "Romantic experience?" His voice would be a deep, rumbling growl. He would glare at the person asking, his fiery eyes narrowing. "I am not concerned with such pitiful emotions." His tone would be dangerous, as if the very question insulted his being.

He might continue, "My only love is destruction. Power is my companion." Demise would leave no room for further questions, making it clear that romance, affection, or love are irrelevant to him. To him, such emotions are a sign of weakness, something that cannot exist in his world of domination.

Conclusion:

Each version of Ganondorf and Demise would react differently to being asked about their first romantic experience, though all would initially reject the notion as trivial compared to their pursuit of power. However, some, like Wind Waker and Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf, might reveal a hidden layer of reflection or amusement, while others, like Demise and Ocarina of Time Ganondorf, would treat the question as beneath them. Ultimately, their reactions highlight how distant romance is from their core motivations, yet for some, there may be a lingering curiosity about what could have been.

[mister13eyond]

Any tips on how to silence the "don't tell people you feel sorry/you wish them to get better/you understand them because if you do you're the most tactless inconsiderate monster to walk on earth and you should feel bad for yourself" voices in my head?

Because me growing up on tumblr meant that teenage me had internalized all the poor counseling tips HARD and every time somebody opens up to current me I enter a stupor because wow, what do I say to them? Surely they'll hate me if I say I'm sorry

And like, from personal experience, how many times have I flipped out at people who told me they're sorry or everything will be alright when I opened up to them? That's right, zero. And how many times have I re-read my awkward tumblr lingo ridden attempts at counseling and thought to myself "damn this is the most awkward thing I've ever said. I should have told them something like "I feel you, everything will be alright". It would have been a lot better I think."? Wayyyy too many

BOY OH BOY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN ANON, im shaking both your hands because this one is HARD and i still haven't fully managed to turn that part of my brain off weeps

in my case i think it comes from being the person that apologized for everything, and then got scolded for apologizing, so i turned around and tried to stop saying "i'm sorry" reflexively and Way Overcorrected

but yeah i'm right there with you- when i open up to friends and they tell me "i'm sorry" or "it's gonna be ok" i never think twice about it, i know they care and are listening to me and want to console me. but when i do it? oh no, not allowed

HOWEVER i have been trying to do things a bit differently to work around that bad reflex so maybe it will help you too!

personally, i think part of my approach has been going "what do I actually want and/or need when i am opening up to someone?" and part of it has been going "what do i MEAN when i say 'i'm sorry' to a friend opening up to me?"

for the first part, usually what i really NEED is just like, for someone to genuinely listen, for me to feel heard, and for someone to say they understand! like, i don't frequently come to my friends expecting Solutions or Counseling- they're not my therapist and i'd never ask them to be, I don't need them to give me sagely advice or solve everything because, well. we're all a bunch of mentally ill queers struggling through life and trying their best and i don't think they'll be able to magically solve all my problems because most of them have the same problems i do! i really just want someone to listen, to go "yeah that IS unfair" or "you're right, that IS really hard" and then tell me they care about me and they hope it will get better soon.

for the second part it really ties into the first- a lot of the time when i would apologize after a friend vented to me it didn't really mean "i am personally responsible for this problem and i am apologizing for it", it meant "that sucks and i wish it wasn't happening to you". so i've kinda just... started saying the latter? like i mentioned above, i really just want to know my friends understand and care about me when i'm struggling, so i've tried to do the same when i can by just like.... validating what someone is saying. "yeah you're right that WAS an unfair way for your manager to treat you" or "god it's fucking hard when mental illness acts up like that and you're understandably struggling under it!" or "i wish all this wasn't happening to you and i hope you catch a break soon because you deserve it." i can't, like, counsel someone because i'm not a trained professional and i don't want to mess things up worse, but i CAN say "you're right, that sucks, i love you and i get why it's making you feel [stressed/upset/angry/etc]" and "i care about you a lot and i hope things get better soon"

it's hard!!! changing a reflex like that super ingrained in you is hard. i kinda started using workarounds like this so that i could... trick my brain? "well, you didn't actually use THE WORDS "i'm sorry" so it doesn't count" (even though i just rephrased the sentence to say what i mean when i say sorry without actually using sorry)

i wish you the best of luck!!! wanting to be good to people and give them what they need when they open up to you or rely on you IS genuinely hard but i also so badly want to be good to the people i love too, so i think it's worth it. here's to hoping we both get it figured out ;o;

[holyguardian]

Meet the Writer

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

(CANON MUSES) - Hyperfixation or go home. Aerith has been a character I have written since about 2016, but before writing for her I always had a strong attachment. I was actually scared to write her because of how attached I was, because what if my thoughts didn't do her justice? She was my first heartbreak in a videogame, and I know for a fact when I discovered fanfiction I was only interested in Aerith-centric stories. I'll have to break them out of baby jail but I have the Play Arts Vol. 1 Aerith and Tifa figures from around 2005, they're stowed away under my bed "for safe keeping" from my era of not displaying the things I love most. (OCs) - I began roleplay through creating original characters in original settings, and to be honest it's way more fulfilling than worrying about canon portrayal because you bend and grow your own character as you see fit. I think my roleplay journey is something embarrassing like 8 year old Muddy honking with other 8 year old friends with tabletop RPGs, then 12 year old Muddy honking on neopets writing one liners with other 12 year olds, to 13 year old Muddy being introduced to teenchat which had chat rooms specifically for roleplay that were flooded by horny old men (asl?) and a few actual writers, and from those few actual writers I learned that we could simply write over MSN messenger to each other without the creeps! Then a 14 year old Muddy was introduced to something called IMVU which was like sims but chat bubbles wow cool! Insert a period where I dropped off from that noise for a couple of years because of schoolwork. 17 year old Muddy returned, and started over new with this nonsense, and I eventually met my viking of a friend Odin and shifted to the IMVU forums into a little RP group, proceeded to roleplay little pieces over MSN until that exploded and then over to AIM. Then life happened and I fell out of roleplay for a while. By the time I swung back into wanting to write again (fueled by my discovery of fanfiction) I didn't know where to go so I googled "where do people write together" and some crunchy old yahoo answers post pointed me to Tumblr. This is all to say that in my writing journey, before I started writing here on Tumblr, I only ever wrote original characters.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Combat scenes. Cool to imagine, cool in media, cool concepts. Writing those fuckers out? Hard pass, I'm absolute garbage.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

Let's be honest, I love me some fluff. I think happier moments are the kind of thing I write the most, and when there can be a deep emotional connection that then allows me to have fun with the not so happier moments. It might be a surprise but I really enjoy grim dark kind of gritty themes too, but I have to be in the right mindset, preferably writing with behind the scenes hollering and still have a theme of hope. If it's a hopeless setting and nothing matters and it's all bad I tend to feel crushed.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

They come to me in visions. I think I form headcanons the way most people do, I had a life experience (I DID THIS THING, WOULD MY CHARACTER DO???), witnessed something in media (fast motorbike COOL LADY ON FAST MOTORBIKE maybe could be my cool lady) or there was a headcanon prompt that made me think about something specific.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

I can only write in silence. If I manage to write with noise, I'm distracted and the product is usually... meh.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

The vast majority are winged, but my best replies tend to be for threads where behind the scenes we have "AND WHAT IF THIS" anywhere up to 10 years into the future already. Even having those "AND WHAT IF THIS" moments it's nice to reach the actual moment in a thread and realise how the characters might react way differently at that point.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Yee. Romance is fun, but I also enjoy 'shipping' in a sense of 'exploring a deep relationship' which can be completely platonic. Found family. Friendships. Mentors.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Muddy. Real name Kristy, also misheard a lot as Krissie which I surprisingly like better.

ᴀɢᴇ?

Fossilised.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

May 20 BC.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

This answer always changes. At the moment it's deep greens / turquoise / white.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

My favourite songs tend to be the ones that can stir emotions at more than a surface level 'oh this sounds nice!' Aerith's theme is an obvious hard hitter and I know that I appreciate a lot of the FFXIV OST for the emotional damage it gifted to me in the past. Then there are artists like Aurora Aksnes and Florence Welch who always captivate me.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

My answer for this and the next question is still the same as the last time fhreugwiq. Damsel on Netflix.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Last show I watched was when I joined a discord stream to watch through a dear friend's favourite anime with them. I'm horrible and don't know the name. Next show I intend to watch was at the suggestion of a best fren. I have a problem with only rewatching my favourite shows or only watching things people ask me to.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

O' Death (Haunted Version) — Bobby Bass.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Flavour slapping me in my face, please. Begone my childhood of boiled wet vegetables without seasoning. If I have to pick an all time favourite, it's gotta be this chicken tikka masala curry recipe my oldest brother introduced me to, which coincides with the time that I started to realise food didn't have to be boring.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

I don't much take notice tbh, I live in North Queensland where there isn't an insane amount of difference between the seasons — Summer real hot, Winter wear your light jumper for a week or two but peel it off by the afternoons. I guess Autumn is my favourite because that's when fresh figs and persimmons are on the supermarket shelves.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

Gestures at Skit and Vers like I'm Chris Pratt and they're the raptors. Can bang on about anything with this pair, there are rare moments where I have that "oh, that wasn't very normal of me" thought about something I said but then they return the same energy.

Tagged by: @slumberingchaos

Tagging: ANYONE! YOU! STEAL IT! I don't know who has done this one already.

[ohchosen]

GET TO KNOW THE WRITER - VAL EDITION !

what  made  you  pick  up  the  current  muse(s)  you  have?   i  first  played  ffxv  back  in  the  fall  of  2017  and  fell  head  over  heels  in  love  with  the  game.  to  this  day  i  don’t  think  there’s  ever  been  a  cast  of  characters  that’s  had  such  a  lasting  impact  on  me  as  the  boys  have,  and  at  this  point  ever  will.  i  actually  first  started  off  writing  prompto,  sometime  in  early  2018  and  shortly  thereafter  kind  of  fizzled  out  of  that  because  i  was  new  and  super  shy  and  didn’t  really  know  anyone  in  the  community.  i  was  around  18/19  then  and  actually  took  a  break  from  tumblr  for  a  little  while,  but  always  kept  in  touch  with  the  xv  community  on  twitter/instagram  so  the  love  i  had  never  went  away.  fast  forward  to  2020  and  after  replaying  the  game  i  decided  to  pick  up  noctis  who  at  that  point  had  been  my  end  all  comfort  character  for  a  few  years.  he very quickly became my little pincushion and then unintentionally a processing tool i used to process a lot of issues in my own life. i notice  a  lot  of  nuance  in  my  old  notes  and  ramblings  that  100%  reflect  my  struggles  at that  time and its like huh! wow! didnt know it did that. regardless, noctis is the muse i hold most dearly to my heart and someone i will love for the rest of my life. < he 3

is  there  anything  you  don’t  like  to  write?  ive  seen  it  all  brother.  i  can  be  convinced  with  one  skimmed  over  ao3  tag  and  then  some.  regardless,  i  don’t  have  any  hard  no’s  that  aren’t  the  incredibly  obvious,  and  i  think  rp  is  a  great  way  to  develop  and  analyze  your  likes  and  dislikes  in  a  safe  environment.  it’s  okay  to  be  into  something  in  one  thread  and  then  change  your  mind  later,  that’s  something  i  had  to  learn  the  long  way  but  i'm  better  off  for  it!

is  there  anything  you  really  enjoy  writing?  i  really  love  angst.  not  sure  what  happened  developmentally  to  get  here  but  we’re  here.  i  think  that  shows  a  lot  in  my  preferred  range  of  media  i  write  in  (or  just  consume  casually,)  there’s  just  a  certain….  je  ne  sai  quoi  🤌  in  writing  your  character  going  through  the  absolute  extremes  of  the  human  experience.  besides  that,  i  really  go  crazy  with  character  analysis/general  meta.  i  love  to  deep  dive  into  mundane  (or  otherwise)  aspects  of  a  character  and  build  up  traits  to  fully  flesh  out  a  muse. 

do  you  write  in  silence  or  do  you  play  music?  i  need  complete  silence  or  i  will  literally  never  finish  a  sentence.  i  am  way  too  scatterbrained  to  focus  on  two  things  at  once  and  need  to  lock  the  fuck  in  when  i’m  writing  a  reply. 

do  you  plan  your  replies  or  wing  them?  who  do  i  look  like  shakespeare.  i’ve  never  planned  out  a  thing  in  my  life  im  consistently  operating  strictly  off  vibes. 

do  you  enjoy  shipping?  im  a  dirty  little  shipping  whore. shipping is god's gift to the planet what else would i do if not daydream about my two little guys passionately kissing in a field of wheat.

what’s  your  alias/name?  val  :3  my  psn  tag  is  a  variant  of  valkyrie,  and  after  i  was  tired  of  my  old  alias  i  looked  there  for  inspiration.  say  thank  you  god  of  war  (2018)  for  shooting  me  into  another  norse  mythology  frenzy,  feels  just  like  middle  school. 

age  &  birthday?  my  golden  birthday  is  this  july  (25th)!!!  ((mild  existential  dread))

favorite  color?   green,  brown,  black  and  purple❗️

favorite  song?  recently  rediscovered  since  u  been  gone  by  kelly  clarkson.  having  daily  religious  experiences  for  it. 

last  movie  you  watched?  lord  i  have  no  idea.  i  don’t  watch  too  many  movies  and  the  last  one  i  can  place  is  catching  the  second  half  of  47  meters  down  when  i  was  having  dinner  with  my  dad  a  few  weeks  ago.  yay  sharks.  and  mandy  moore!!!!

last  show  you  watched?  i  love  a  good  netflix  documentary  and  i  just  finished  one  called  the  program:  cons,  cults  and  kidnapping,  which  was  about  exposing  the  troubled  teen  industry.  it’s  a  super  interesting  watch  but  deals  with  quite  a  few  heavy  topics  so  if  you’re  interested  please  heed  caution!   i  also  just  started  american  nightmare,  but  im  only  about  30-ish  minutes  into  the  first  episode….  gotta  lock  in. 

last  song  you  listened  to?  according  to  spotify  it  was  safari  song  by  greta  van  fleet  but  according  to  the  fortnite  festival  session  i  just  had  it  was  carry  on  my  wayward  son  by  kansas.  literal  war  flashbacks. 

favourite  food?   dude  there’s  this  fucking  sandwich  place  by  my  house  and  they  literally  make  the  best  chicken  sandwich  i’ve  ever  had.  imagine  grilled  chicken  on  a  brioche  bun  w  cheddar,  bacon,  a  corn  salsa  and  slathered  in  chili  aioli.  walk  with  me.  it  sounds  wack  but  it’s  SO  GOOD.  i  dream  about  her…

favorite  season?  i  love  winter  i  love  being  cold  and  tucked  into  my  electric  blanket  listening  to  the  rain  outside.  all  of  you  summertime  elitists  need  to  get  off  my  lawn. 

do  you  have  a  tumblr  best  friend?   i  have  my  gaggle  of  tumblr  friends  turned  irl  friends  in  my  pockets  at  all  time  and  i  wouldn’t  trade  any  of  them  for  the  world.  i  met  one  of  my  oldest  friends  in  ye  olde  supernatural  rp  back  in  2013?  and  over  ten  years  later  WE’RE  STILL  FUCKING  HERE.  so  many  of  the  most  important  people  in  my  life  i’ve  met  through  tumblr and the amount of shit we've seen through the rpc's we've been in has bonded us all for eternity lmfao.

tagged by: @13nth thank u tea my love :* tagging: my homies @sherez @tactition @liegacy + anyone who's interested :3

[camaro-and-smokes]

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Chapter 19: (Everything I Do) I Do It for You

Tags for the chapter: Oh hey some more angst wow, Steve Harrington Loves Billy Hargrove, like really really much, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eddie munson is bad at apologizing, but at least he's trying. See tags for the whole fic on AO3.

Summary: Billy knew that like anyone, Steve had limits, too, but he never imagined how easily, in the end, he could break him.

All chapters on tumblr >>

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Eddie listened to Billy and left, leaving Steve staring at Billy, his big brown eyes wide, looking like a deer in headlights. “Yo-you...you want...you want to run away? You want to leave me?” he stuttered in disbelief.

Billy had never seen Steve like that. He'd always been confident and composed and strong enough to support him when he broke down. Billy knew that like anyone, Steve had limits, too, but he couldn't have ever imagined how easily, in the end, he could break him. He had known that Steve loved him, but never had he really understood how much.

He walked to Steve, shaking his head furiously, and kneeled next to him. “No! I want to get married to you and spend the rest of my life with you. No one else.” “Well, what the hell did Eddie mean, then?” Steve spat. “He's an idiot,” Billy started, and looked down, before meeting Steve's eyes again. “But it's true, I felt like that." He paused. "Maybe I still do.” Steve looked at him, worried, his lower lip trembling and trying to form words that never came. Billy placed a hand on Steve's cheek, wiping the tears that had fallen on it with his thumb. “I don't want to run away from you. Just the massive event that's going to be our wedding. Saying our vows in front of hundreds of people, I don't want that.” “Then why didn't you tell me? You've been organizing the whole thing, seemingly quite happy! I didn’t know! You should've said something before,” Steve said, clearly hurt. “I was scared.” “You were scared of what, exactly? Telling me how you feel? Have you any idea how learning of all of this in a way like this makes me feel?! What the fuck does it take for you to understand that you don't have to be scared to tell me anything?” Steve huffed. “I won't leave you if you don't agree with me on everything!” “You've been so excited about it I didn't want to ruin anything! And it seemed to matter to you a lot that all those people are there. I don't know if it's for you or for them, but it sure as hell isn't for me!” Billy exclaimed. Steve closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair, covering his face with his hands. "It wouldn't have ruined anything if you'd said something. At least I might've spent just a little less on everything. Even though it's not about the money." The silence that fell between them was thick. Billy sat on the floor, chewing his cheek.

After a while, Steve pulled his hands down from his face and looked at Billy. “Is this how it's going to be? Always?" He shrugged. "That you only talk before you have no other option? Or someone else has to push it out of you? Even when the issue concerns only me and you and our life together?" "It wasn't his place to..." "But were you going to say anything? Mhh? Would've you told me if he hadn't pushed you? Unless he forced your hand?" Billy looked down and shrugged. "I can't live with you not telling me what's going on, or that it's Eddie who gets you to speak up your mind. In fact, not that I'm bitter or-or jealous or anything, but the less he's around, the better. He's messed our lives enough already. My life. He's your friend, but what he did on the tour, and what he used to be to you..." Steve shook his head clenching his teeth. "Being friends is one thing, but I won't ever share you, not even a part of you. You're supposed to be..." his voice cracked, and he had to take a deep breath. "You're supposed to be mine. We're supposed to get married." By now he was full on crying, and tears poured from his eyes like a waterfall. "Past is past, but if he keeps interfering in our lives like this, directly or indirectly... I can't live with that. I won't. I won't live in the shadow of someone who never loved you back the way you loved them. Not when I'm here loving you more than I love life. When I'm laying everything I have at your feet after just one night together, and all the years he had you he gave you absolutely nothing. He treated you like garbage and you, gorgeous, who deserve everything in this world, you stayed because you thought he was the best you could do." Tears blurred Billy's vision. "I'm sorry." He looked up at Steve. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to keep anything from you! I just... It's still new to me. To have someone like you. Who really cares..." "Loves, Billy. Loves you, just the way you are. Like crazy." Steve smiled a sad smile. "Come here." When Billy sat onto Steve's lap, Steve wrapped his arms around his waist, tight, and they hugged like their lives depended on it. "Never scare me like that ever again. Please," Steve whispered leaning his head on Billy's shoulder. "I won't," Billy breathed.

They sat like that for a long time, just hugging and crying, sharing the pain and relief. Finally Steve spoke. "So, what do you want me to do?” “I don't know.” “I'm asking you. You. Tell me, what do you want me to change and I'll make it happen. If you want to call the whole thing off, then...” Steve shrugged. Billy kissed Steve's temple. “No. Let's not call it all off. If we just could... I don't want to say our vows in front of strangers. Can we do something about that?” Steve sighed. “Is that enough?” he asked softly. After a while, Billy nodded. “I think so.” “You think so?” Steve chuckled. Billy smiled shyly. “I mean...I've done a massive job with the planner to get everything just right. And who wouldn't like to have a big ass cake, massive flower decorations and just the whole fucking hotel at Martha's Vineyard rented just for us and the guests for the whole wedding weekend? Yes, I'm not entirely fond of the number of guests, but having a party like that once in a lifetime is maybe not the worst thing in the world.” "Then we'll do that. Have the ceremony in private and a big party later. See, that wasn't so hard," Steve whispered, and placed a kiss on Billy's shoulder. "You're too good for me." "You're all that matters. If you're happy, I'm happy. And if you're not happy, I'll do my darnest to make you happy. Just talk to me. I don't know what's going on in that nugget of yours otherwise. I still haven't been able to develop telepathic skills, and with you, God knows, I've tried.” Billy rolled his eyes, chuckling. Then he leaned his forehead against Steve's and looked into his eyes. "I love you." "I love you more, gorgeous." Steve said and smiled. "Kiss me." Billy smiled a mischeviously, and did what Steve asked.

-:-

Billy woke up to the sun shining straight on his face. He groaned, turning on his back away from the light, and reached out his hand to the other side of the bed. When he didn't find what he was looking for, he opened his eyes and looked at the untouched pillow. He turned to look at the window and realized that the sun was shining from quite high. Suddenly, he remembered where he was and what day it was.

Fuck.

He scrambled for his phone that was on the nightstand. With the rush he was in instead of catching the phone, he nudged it with his fingers and it took a straight dive onto the floor and under the bed. Fuck me if I'm late he cursed under his breath, and plunged on the floor after the phone. "Chrissy!"

When he finally fished it out and saw the time, he sat on the floor and leaned on the bed, taking a deep, relieved breath. He hadn't overslept and there were still two hours before he'd have to be on the beach.

There was a knock on the bedroom door, and Chrissy peeked through the slit into the room. "Is everything alright? I heard something falling." Billy waved the phone in his hand. "Just this piece of shit giving me a heart attack." "You thought you were late?" she smirked walking to the bed and sat on it. "Yeah,” Billy snorted. “It would've sucked big time when I asked for this almost at the last minute and then I wouldn't have been there on time." "Steve's really sweet that he did this. And you didn't have to cancel the entire party." "You don't know the half of it," Billy said smiling.

They ordered breakfast and, after eating, prepared Billy for the small wedding ceremony that was taking place on the beach, just with their closest friends and family. Steve had offered to get Billy an army of groomers to help him look as pretty as he wanted, but he wanted just Chrissy to help him instead. “So, are you terrified?” Chrissy asked as she applied mascara on Billy's lashes. Billy chuckled. “I have been fucking horrified the whole time I've been organizing this thing.” “Yeah, I know that,” Chrissy said, smiling. “I mean tying the knot, for real.” Billy looked at Chrissy, who was examining the result. “You know, that's a thing I've never feared; marrying Steve.” He smiled when Chrissy met his eyes. “Spending the rest of my life with him. I'm actually looking forward to it.” “Do you think it's going to be different from what you have now?” Chrissy asked, walking behind Billy and looking at him through the mirror. “Well, my initials remain the same, but my last name is going to be Harrington instead of Hargrove. I think there's going to be a lot of that, things remaining the same, yet different.” “I'm thrilled for you,” Chrissy said, and hugged Billy from behind. “So, what do you think?” Billy looked at his reflection and smiled. His hair was in a loose bun, decorated with some Baby's Breaths. The only sign of him wearing make-up was the mascara and eyeliner and the gloss on his lips that just emphasized their natural shade. “It's perfect.” He glanced at her. “Thank you.” “We can check everything again before it’s time for the photographs,” she said as she started to pack away the make-up and hair products. "Thanks for organizing everything last night. It was the best stag party I've ever been to." Chrissy laughed. "You got what you asked for! No booze, no naked women, just chilling with me." She paused. "I'm just sorry that Max couldn't make it and you didn't want Eddie to be there. He was bummed when I told him that he wasn't invited." Billy lowered his gaze onto the ring on his finger, but said nothing. “What happened between you two? Did you fight or something? Something's been different for the last few weeks.” Billy contemplated for a moment whether or not to tell her. Then he looked back at her and shook his head, smiling as a genuine smile as he could muster. “We had a bit of a quarrel. I'm just still raw about it. But you don't have to be concerned about it.”

There was a knock on the suite door, and Chrissy went to open it. Billy got up and turned around in front of the full-length mirror to check his looks. He was wearing a white silk shirt, three buttons open, and his favorite light blue jeans. There was no need for shoes because the weather was warm and his favourite heels wouldn't have worked on the sand, anyway. Steve had agreed to his wish for them to wear just something casual for the ceremony. All I care about is that I get to marry you, with or without clothes had been his only remark on the issue. The whole problem Billy had been so concerned about for weeks solved so easily.

Billy looked at the ring on his finger again, running his fingers over it. He'd imagined this moment over the years so many times. Sometimes with someone he'd thought could've been something more. More than a few times with Eddie. But never had it felt this right and never had he imagined how excited he would be when the actual right one came along.

He heard the door opening, and when he raised his gaze into the mirror, he saw Eddie walking into the room. The good mood he'd had was all gone, and he shook his head. "I haven't forgiven you," he growled. Chrissy, who walked into the room behind Eddie, stopped in her tracks when she heard Billy's words and saw him glaring at Eddie. "Eddie, what did you do?" she asked, and smacked him in the back with her hand. Eddie turned to look at her. “Chrissy, baby. Love of My Life,” he said as calmly as he could, “could you please give us a moment?” he asked. Chrissy glanced worriedly at Billy, who was glaring at Eddie, his hands clenched into fists. “Ok. Just...we're supposed to be on the beach in fifteen, so...” “We'll make it on time, I promise,” Eddie assured her. “I just need to set some things straight.” “Okay,” she said, turned and closed the door behind her.

“Do we have to do this now?” Billy spat. “Yeah, we do,” Eddie said, nodding vigorously. “Because you haven't replied to any of my messages, emails, or calls. I gave you space and didn't come unannounced like I did last time. Even when you asked Chrissy to organize your stag night. Which hurt, by the way. But I didn't want you to go out there and feel...” “You didn't want me to feel bad?” Billy mocked. Eddie raised his hands. “No, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. Please, just hear me out. I want to apologize now so that we can do this celebration thing for you and Steve—and actually have fun.” Billy clenched his teeth. “You should apologize to Steve. Not me.” “I just did. I came here straight from his room.” “Okay, good. I hope he gave you hell.” Eddie took a deep breath and looked at his feet. “He did. And...I deserved all of it. Look, I'm...” he said, and squeezed his eyes closed. “I'm really sorry about it. It wasn't my place to say that you wanted to run away. I should've been...” “Oh, no! No, no, no, no! Don't you even try that. That part wasn't what you should've apologized!” “I know! And I did!” “You should've kept your mouth shut to begin with!” “Yeah,” Eddie agreed, nodding. “But you know why I did it. I care about you.” “Fuck! You! Caring my ass! You were out of line!” “I know, I know! But please, see my side here a bit. I've been looking after you for years. I've been worried this whole time that he'll hurt you and that I can't save you...” “I don't need saving, Eddie! I'm getting married to him, for fuck's sake!” “Yes, I know. Which is why I'm apologizing, Billy! It's fucking hard to let go! I mean, from looking after you.” He paused and looked back at his feet. “I'm sorry about all the shit I've caused over the last months. I'm so sorry I..." He swallowed, and then he continued with his chin quivering: “I'm so sorry I caused a wedge between you two. I was a selfish idiot...and I'm so glad he didn't hold it against you." He looked back at Billy, who was blinking rapidly and biting his lip. "And I'm sorry for all the times that I've hurt you. Way too many of them," he said quietly. "I won't interfere in your relationship with him anymore, I promise. It's your life, not mine." They looked at each other in silence for a while until Billy went for the tissue box on the table. “God fucking dammit, Munson,” he sniffled. “You're ruining my make-up, and I was saving that fun for Steve.” Eddie chuckled, relieved, as he walked to Billy and took a tissue from the box to wipe his own eyes. “I'm sorry for that too.” “Yeah, yeah, be glad that I forgive easily,” Billy said and turned to the mirror to see if he'd need to ask Chrissy to fix the make-up. Eddie looked at him through the mirror. “He's so lucky to get you.” “He knows,” Billy said with a lopsided grin. After confirming the make-up was fine, he glanced at Eddie. “I'm sorry I asked Chrissy to organize...” “It's okay, that's on me.” Eddie smiled. “But I still want you to be my best man. If you're up for it?” Billy smiled. “I would've kicked your ass if you didn't ask me.” “It wouldn't be the same with anyone else.” “Listen... You can come stand on my side of the altar. I'd like that.” Eddie's face brightened. “Yeah, man. I'd love that.”

Billy glanced at his phone, and his eyes widened. “Shit! I'm going to be late for my wedding if we don't go now! Chrissy! Do you have my flowers?” Chrissy opened the door and smiled as she gently shook the bunch of sunflowers in her hands. “I have them, and there's someone over here who wants to walk you down the aisle.” “Max!” Billy squealed and strode through the bedroom door to Max, who was grinning from ear to ear when he scooped her up into his arms. “I was worried you wouldn't make it!” “I wouldn't have wanted to miss my big brother getting married for the world! Though, I'm getting my ass chewed on Monday from the producers of the film. I was supposed to be on set the whole weekend.” “Well, me not having to walk the aisle alone is clearly the more important thing. Not that I wanted you here for any other reason,” Billy smirked when he let her down. “Hey!” Max said mock-offended and smacked Billy's arm with her hand, making him raise his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, maybe I wanted you to be here for you, too." “So, did you two settle whatever you needed to?” Chrissy asked Billy. He nodded, glancing at Eddie, and smiled. “I'm ready to get married.”

[midnightbears]

reader tending to gyomei's injuries??

✿ let me hold your heart like a flower.

#STARRING: himejima gyomei. ft. fem!reader

#TAGS: sfw!! mention of wounds. established relationship.

#NOTES: this was so bittersweet wow. i genuinely don't know if this was what u had in mind sorry. eng is not my first language!

you are silent as you work, and it internally kills your lumbering pillar of a husband.

he wants you to say something to him, anything, yell at him for all he cares! but another minute of your silence and the tears already sliding down his cheeks might turn into something much deeper, much worse.

gyomei’s immense frame trembles slightly as he sits there, feeling the careful touch of your hands on his wounds. he can sense the sadness radiating from you, more intense than the pain of his injuries. each of your delicate touches is laced with the hurt you are trying so hard to mask. your eyes are focused, your movements precise, but your silence is deafening.

"beloved…" gyomei's voice, usually so calm, grounding, and composed, cracks slightly. he seeks your gaze, gently grabbing your chin, realizing that it is faintly trembling in his hold. "please... i know i’ve caused you pain. forgive me."

you pause for a moment, hands hovering over a particularly deep cut, pondering, pondering. you bite your lip, refusing to let the tears brimming in your eyes fall. your silence isn’t out of anger (he knows this, he knows), but fear—fear of losing him every time he comes back injured, fear of the day he might not return at all.

the implications of your silence suspended in the air like a viscous fog. he reaches out, his large, calloused hand gently covering yours. the contrast between his rough skin and your delicate fingers is stark, yet it is this very difference that embodies the solidity and tenderness of your relationship, it seems. the warmth of his touch seeps into you, a silent plea for forgiveness, a reminder of the love you share, an imploration for that tenderness you give so willingly.

"please," he whispers again, his voice softer this time, if even possible, "my beautiful wife, do not shut me out."

apparently, that's all it takes for your resolve to finally break. tears spill over, and you drop your head, letting them fall freely. without a word, you move closer, resting your forehead against his broad chest while very diligently skipping over his wounds. he wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as if trying to shield you from the very world he fights against.

"i’m so afraid," you finally admit, voice trembling. "every time you leave, i’m terrified you won’t come back. what would i do?"

gyomei's gentle heart stings at your confession, the dull ache of his wounds now forgotten as you sob into his chest. gods above, what kind of husband is he? he tilts his head down, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head, keeping his lips on the crown of your hair. "it is such a privilege to matter to you, my dearest one. you, and only you, make my life peaceful."

"I just want you to be safe," you murmur against his chest, your voice muffled but clear in its desperation.

gyomei nods, a soft smile stretching his perfect lips. his hand pats your head affectionately, his other arm winding around your body. "i will do everything in my power to return to you. every time. you are my reason to fight, don't you know?"

you lift your head to meet his gaze, his blank eyes empty but filled with the same vulnerability and love that you feel. "promise me you'll be careful? for us."

tears slide down his cheeks once again, although this time, you know they are fueled by the burgeoning love in his heart. "for us."

© midnightbears on tumblr, july 2024. please do not repost to another platform, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.

[olivereactsaboutgarbage]

Higurashi When They Cry - Watanagashi Chapter 12

After the tragedy of people not being dead in One Piece, I can always count on Higurashi for the refreshing palate cleanser known as "the comedy of people being dead".

(EDIT: WHAT THE HECK THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GET POSTED ALMOST A WEEK AGO!!! WHY DIDN'T THAT HAPPEN??? AN ENTIRE WEEK OF ME NOT POSTING HAPPENED INSTEAD???

this is the last time i'm trusting tumblr to do what i tell it to

anyway enjoy your monday post at 4 AM which i wrote ages ago)

Keiichi's dad wants to CANCEL SCHOOL.

Keiichi uses TIME TRAVEL to enter the Applause Dimension.

Keiichi wants to CANCEL SCHOOL.

Rena reminds Keiichi that Keiichis are now mandatory for school or you get expelled, so she needs a Keiichi. Keiichi says "Touch luck." Rena puts her face right up against the microphone and makes breathy noises.

Keiichi receives a death pamphlet from Rena.

truest shit keiichi's ever said

Rena wields her trademarked violence against Keiichi. Damn!!! I wasn't expecting that. She also calls him a spoiled little brat. Neat

Keiichi and Rena have a meet cute, except instead of meeting Rena, Keiichi meets the sentence "I'm Mion and I'm a soy sauce vendor now so you should obtain and consume all of my sauce." Rena has already met that sentence though, so this is only interesting to Keiichi.

Keiichi and Rena decide to party up and face Mion as the final boss.

A Random Ooishi Encounter slithers up to the party. "Oh good," Rena says. "We needed a paladin." It's true that they didn't really have a tank. Rena is obviously a monk and I think Keiichi must be a cleric? So they had DPS and a healer but no tank. Actually, why is this entire party so overtly religious?

They all get in a car, which I guess in this extended metaphor is a horse. Rena says "Keiichi, I think our paladin absolutely sucks shit." Why is Rena always insufferable during the good times but then dope AF when the going gets tough?

I wonder what clever ways Higurashi will use to eventually make me feel bad for asking that.

The party enters the sprawling final dungeon, but not before splitting the party so that the paladin isn't there. The dungeon is called Camera Mountain even though it very much isn't a mountain. Typical RPGs and their bullshit...

"I bet Mion is in her dark surveillance lair, watching the footage from all these cameras on her vast array of screens..." Keiichi says. "No, not really," Rena says.

The party reaches Mion right away without even needing to fight any mooks, let alone a miniboss. Unless you count their paladin as a miniboss because he sucks.

Mion invites everyone to her boss fight arena. "This boss fight arena is interesting," she says. "I want to make it boring." What the hell, Mion? Why do you like boring things? I thought you were the Chosen One, not the Boring One.

Rena tells Keiichi not to be such a scared. If only Keiichi had a perpetual Rena at all times.

Mion owns a pile. She says Keiichi should substitute it for a shoe, but this is just her awesome poop prank.

Mion reads Keiichi's blue text and takes it as a cue to talk about winter, and how much snow there is in winter. I'll stash that away as an extremely important clue.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "SHE" DID IT??? KEIICHI??? HELLO??? I think this kid needs a lesson in pronouns from his teacher with the pronouns.

Everyone stops talking. "HEY GUYS!!!" Mion says. "BREAK THE SILENCE!!!"

Ah, see, I need a friend like Keiichi who I can verbally abuse relentlessly. This is why Mion is still the best. Yes.

Mion is getting Sherlock Holmesed at, so now it's her turn to breathe directly on her microphone. She also praises Rena's Toddler 01 impression.

Mion has her obligatory Ace Attorney breakdown. Keiichi wishes it was a Kaiji breakdown instead.

Rena and Keiichi ask Mion if she was the One and Only Culprit and if Higurashi is already solved two arcs in. "Hi there," says Mion, "I'm new to this conversation."

"...Then... in that case... what does your underwear look like...?"

Wow, I'm worse than the men in Higurashi. Wait, extreme self-deprecation is bad.

"What does... your

Okay joke over

Anyway, Exposition Mion is doing her thang. It's all very interesting.

Incurable diseases, huh? Okay that's going in the evidence folder of my extreme genius.

Ah, cooties, I know about that.

Oh, Mion's grandfather stole a bunch of food from the army and used it to gain wealth and influence. It's like the mundane and boring version of Umineko.

Oh, it was cannibalism. It's like the original planned premise of Bob's Burgers. All the voice actors decide to shut up so they don't accidentally talk over the funny jokes in Bob's Burgers.

AREN'T YOU FOURTEEN??? WHAT DOCUMENTARY WERE YOU WATCHING

Mion says that Hinamizawa is mean because of the Awesome Solidarity. Keiichi asks if they've tried normalcy instead. Mion's like "Pft, if only."

Mion lets everyone know about her secret wordplay surprise, and then says "Wanna see my tattoo?" and starts taking her clothes off. "I don't," says Rena and everything stays television-appropriate.

"By the way," Mion adds, "I am the one true culprit and Higurashi is solved." Well that's good, I guess I can immediately stop reading Higurashi.

Oh, now Keiichi is saying that HE'S the one true culprit. Give your guilt complex a rest, my dude.

Wait is Mion just Keiichi-ing out right now actually? That would actually explain why there's six more Higurashis after this Higurashi. Although it would leave a lot of things much more mysterious... which would also explain it. Guess I'd better keep reading.

Um. Dumbass?

Rena tells Mion to go to jail. Mion says "You first." Rena says "Only if Keiichi wants me to."

Keiichi and Mion decide to go outside. Rena tells Keiichi that it's his responsibility to keep everything normal. RENA, NO!!! THAT'S THE ONE THING KEIICHI'S WORST AT!!! RENA WATCH OUT!!!

Now it's time for Keiichi and Mion's adorable date where they talk about Shion.

No, Keiichi is ambidextrous.

Mion says Shion's not dead. Nifty thing to say.

Niftn't thing to say, I think.

GOD, MION FUCKING GETS IT

Mion takes Keiichi to the Nice and Fresh and Modern Death House. Huh, I guess there was a Nice and Fresh and Modern Death House all along. I guess in this chapter I'm finally starting to realize why Watanagashi was said to have a lower difficulty than Onigafuchi. Which definitely DOES make me wonder what the deal is with the Onigafuchi sequence of events.

Keiichi asks to peruse a variety of dead bodies.

WHAT??? NO!!! A WATER SUPPLY IS ABSOLUTELY NO PLACE FOR BUGS!!!

Keiichi says hi to Shion. Shion ignores him and says to please stop with the elaborate murders. I'm sure that's fine.

Mion says "No, I don't want to." Keiichi loses interest in his surroundings. This also seems pretty alright to me.

Man, this voice acting is really good when it's not busy being dubious.

Is Keiichi planning on pulling some shit?

Foot licking. Phew, perversity. I'm glad When They Cry didn't forget to include perversity. Anyway Keiichi is definitely planning on pulling some shit.

Oh, Keiichi's hands are getting restrained. That'll make it harder for him to pull some shit. I wonder what kind of fucked-up shit he's gonna pull.

Ah, it's Scary Keiichi. I want to see the red glint in his eye...

I mean, not that he's as scary as these green people this time around. But that's what makes his scariness better.

Keiichi says Mion isn't Mion and Mion is like "UH WHAT NO" as if Mion hadn't been talking exactly like that fifteen minutes ago. Wow, that sentence was completely unintelligible.

Oh I misread "I wish I couldn't" as "I wish she wouldn't" and I was gonna give him shit for stating the obvious but I guess I am the one who is the fool. Carry on Keiichi. Keep lamenting.

...You know, five years ago, she sure was... 9? 10? 8? How old are these bitches again

WHAT??? THIS IS STILL THE DOLL ARC??? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN SAY ABOUT ITS PLACE IN THE LARGER ANTHOLOGY

HUH???

Oh that's true LOL. So much has happened since then, such as me spending months not thinking about Higurashi.

yeah me too girl

You drama queen.

L M A O

This really IS the comedy of people being dead! I was right, as always.

Anyway, the monk and paladin have teamed back up. This is why you never split the party I think. So Mion changes her awesome final boss plan.

Keiichi falls asleep so hard he turns into a police report.

Rena was MISSING??? Since WHEN???

Oh shit, the police report turned back into Keiichi. This didn't happen when he died!!

Keiichi's parents have the right idea. Keep holding out to eventually get THE MOST MONEY POSSIBLE.

Oh wait, Keiichi's parents tragically didn't get money, and instead got The Letter That Makes You Get A New House.

Oh this is basically the same thing which happened to me.

Rena gets sad because Higurashi would be really boring if the mascot character was the literal only character. Keiichi reminds her that the other characters aren't dead, they're just living on a farm upstate. Actually, Hinamizawa IS the farm upstate, so I don't know where they're living.

Keiichi also gets mad at the mainstream media for making light of tragedy. Wow, it's as if his feelings actually matter even though there's gonna be a time loop. This is fucked up.

Keiichi once again anticipates the obligatory Shion section of this chapter. Wait, that sounds really fake.

Oh shit I hit the image limit. Well the rest of this post is cancelled

This is fucked up though, Keiichi and Rena lingering with their regrets. This never happened in Umineko (except for that one time). Or the first arc. Or--HIS WINDOW GOT ASSAULTED BY MION???

Mion says "Hi Keiichi" and immediately breaks down

Keiichi is about to be nice to her, but then he gets stabbed. Oh thank god. Keiichi not being dead was making me feel so weird.

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK HE STILL ISN'T DEAD??? THIS IS SO FUCKED UP!!! SOMEONE PLEASE KILL KEIICHI I'M BEGGING YOU!!!

Wait the police report is saying Shion fell over at approximately the SAME time??? But Mion said she did them BOTH! Did she do a Rube Goldberg murder machine?

OooOooOooOOOoh "it sounded like two people fighting and then shion was either murdered OR committed suicide" I guess Higurashi has a mystery in it.

I don't know why I said that like that. To be honest I've spent an entire day writing this post while multitasking so that's why it's increasingly dubious.

Oh, and Ooishi is still! Bothering! Keiichi! SOMEONE JUST KILL KEIICHI ALREADY!!!

I wish I could take pictures of Keiichi's extreme sass here. I could quote it since it's literally just text, but... the magic is ruined if I do that...

Even though Keiichi doesn't want Ooishi's peace offering of pornography, he and Ooishi are still finally on the same page for once, that Mion is murder. So this is Cleric and Paladin synchronicity...

OH OOISHI FOUND THE MURDER WELL. It had all the victims and also random other guys.

Oh, Ooishi found a special Toddler 02 syringe. Just like in Onigafuchi but radically different. It all fits together... but radically different...

Oh, Ooishi noticed the same "same time" thing I did. It's obvious from his interrogation.

Oh, the witness of Shion's death was Shion's bodyguard... oh noooooo...!!! I don't want Ulki from Fire Emblem to experience grief...

Oh... the murder well had all the victims and also random other guys and also Mion.

MION DYING HAPPENED PRIOR TO SHION AND KEIICHI SIMULTANEOUSLY DYING AND KEIICHI SURVIVING IT??? WAIT, REALLY??? So Keiichi hallucinations are CANON and I was SUPER CORRECT LAST TIME. Clearly. I'm a genius!!!

What? Camera's girlfriend was also dead for an entire day before dying with multiple witnesses including not Keiichi? Wait that's actually insane. That's actually crazy. What is this stupid story about.

Oh I wish I could show you this awesome bed picture. You're just gonna have to trust me.

Keiichi has a nice conversation with a Mion hallucination about a fun prank they could play on Ooishi where Keiichi dies.

Oh, even Keiichi is sick of waiting for Keiichi to die so the arc can have an actual ending. It was a deliberate writing choice all along.

"Can this arc PLEASE just end already?!" begs Keiichi. "No" says the Mion hallucination, and the arc ends.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my barely-paying-attention coverage of a highly anticipated climax! Tune in next week for when I give me undivided attention to the goofy bonus chapter.

[jimbleswrites]

Pantheon 2022

A/N: wow, it's been a hot second. i feel like i say that every time but it's the truth. between IRL issues, ADHD and depression kicking my ass, and my job changing my hours every week, i have had no time or energy to write. but in the words of my dad, "the world keeps spinning, so learn to roll." also apparently tumblr's line break is not working in rich text, and the html option isn't working either. so y'all are gonna have to scroll. shoutout to this hellsite.

Chapter 11: The Escape

I was meditating on my bed, simply thinking of options to leave. I had looked the room over for any options twice and found nothing. The cuff attached to the bed, while letting me reach the toilet and sink, was not long enough to reach the other walls or the door. The left cuff continued to beep, with no sign of stopping. I sighed a little, the silence making the time feel so slow. I wished I could reach out to Vida for some guidance.

“Yeah, I could do that.” Her chipper voice popped into my head.

OK, cool, Vida was talking to- wait, wait?

I opened my eyes, looking around to see no one in the cell. Yet I could have swore that-

“You did hear me. I’m just in your head.” Vida spoke clearly from nowhere.

I was confused. How is she-

“I’m a goddess, I can read minds and all that. I also keep tabs on you so you don’t get out of your league. Like you are now.” Vida giggled, more amused at the situation then I was.

I closed my eyes again. Having Vida to talk to again was nice. I needed to know where I was.

“Nice to talk to you too. You’re currently on a United Nations Sea platform, in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.”

OK, so I'm somewhere on the sea. No problem, I'll just open a portal and… no, they could have cameras everywhere, I needed to make sure I was out of here before I could try for a portal. Maybe I could grab a boat and shove off.

“All they have are life rafts for emergencies. Not impossible, but not fast or discrete for an escape.” Vida chimed in. “Most personnel come in from airdrops or plane refuelings.”

So I could grab a plane instead? I don’t know how to fly a plane, and I doubt anyone here would help me escape. Maybe I could stowaway? That seemed like the safest choice. I looked up at the security camera in my room. The lens stared back at me. There wasn’t any way to sneak out that they wouldn’t see.

“You’re so focused on using aura for fighting, when you could do so much more.” Vida spoke, obviously hinting me into something. I looked closer at the camera’s base, noting a small wire that connected to the wall. The light on the camera blinked as I focused. A small golden sword formed next to the wire, out of the camera’s view. I was able to move the sword cautiously next to the wire, slowly cutting through it. As the wire finally cut in two, there was a small spark and the light on the camera stopped blinking. I finally had some privacy from my captors.

“Not bad, but still a weapon.” Vida sounded smug as she continued. “How about the cuffs next?” I looked down to my right cuff, the simple metal chain clicking as I lifted my hand. I formed another sword, only to find the metal tougher than the wire. Vida laughed a little, but I thought of something else. I formed my aura into an orb on my finger, and it sloshed around. It was similar to what I had done before, but not what I wanted. I focused on my vision, and the orb began to bubble, then spark, before becoming a small flame. I smiled as I moved my makeshift blowtorch to the chain, heating it until it dripped apart, freeing me. I quickly did the same to my left cuff, the beeping stopping as the melted cuff fell off me.

“Alright, hot stuff, well done.” Vida congratulated me. “But now you need to actually leave the base.”

I needed my stuff. I don’t suppose the goddess watching me would happen to know?

“I do happen to know!” Vida beamed. “Go down the hallway until the third door on the left, then check the locker in the back.”

I repeated my fire trick on the door’s lock, then slowly looked outside. There didn’t seem to be any guards at the moment, so I quickly walked to the door Vida described. The base’s cold gray walls didn’t do much to show where you were, but I found the room and looked inside. It was also empty, with several lockers and cases. I opened the door, found my locker, and got back everything except my phone. If only someone knew where it was…

“Yeah, yeah, hold on.” Vida was quiet for a moment. “There’s a research lab across the hall. They’re trying to crack it open with some program.”

I quickly changed into my clothes, then moved to the lab door. I looked inside to see someone hunched over a computer. I crouched out of view, and cracked the door a little to see if they’d notice. They didn’t even move, their back facing me as I fully entered the room. I now recognized him as Dr. Prunty that was running some program. I then noticed my phone plugged into the computer, putting two and two together. Now it was a question of how to get my phone. I moved to be fully out of view, when Dr. Prunty sighed loudly. He was checking his own phone and seemed to be annoyed by something.

“Of course he wants more firepower.” Dr. Prunty muttered to himself. He was busy tapping away on his phone and ignoring everything else. I focused my aura toward the cord connecting my phone to the computer, hoping to break it without being noticed. A small section of it glowed gold, before smoking a bit and snapping apart. The computer beeped in response, popping up with some error messages. Dr. Prunty groaned, seeing the cord broken, and began to turn. I came forward, grabbing him in a headlock and covering his mouth as soon as he saw me. I pulled us back down out of sight of the window.

“You aren’t going to scream if I take my hand away, are you?” I prompted. Dr. Prunty nodded, and I took my hand away, still holding him down.

“You’re insane! You think you can just walk away?” Dr. Prunty hissed. “We’re-”

“On a sea base with all the planes on a schedule, yeah yeah.” I cut him off.

Dr. Prunty looked surprised. “How did you know? Actually it doesn’t matter. I don’t think Commander Leblanc will hold back if he finds you again.” He wiggled a bit against me, but had no real way to break free. “Look, maybe if you answer some questions, we can make your accommodations better.”

I was a bit insulted by the offer, but it wasn’t like I was going to tell him anything anyway. “Listen, I’m getting off this rock, and I just need to know when the next plane comes in.”

“And if I don’t talk?” Dr. Prunty asked.

“Look, if you don’t tell me anything, then I just have to get the info from someone else. And I'd really prefer to not have a trail of bodies leading back to me.” It was a complete bluff but they already thought I was a criminal, so I decided to lean into it.

Dr. Prunty gulped. “There’s a shipment of food coming in about 20 minutes. Helipad 2.”

“See, that wasn’t that bad.” I squeezed my arm, knocking out the doctor. He’d be fine, but I needed him to stay hidden until I escaped. I went over to the computer, grabbing my phone, and began to look for any files on me. The computer was seemingly blank, but I made sure to melt the drives inside with my aura to make sure. Now I just needed to make my way to the helipad.

“Just follow my directions, Robert.” Vida began, and I set off to escape.

The route out was mostly uneventful. A few close calls, but I was able to get up to the Helipad with no one the wiser. I found a few crates I was hiding behind, and the shipment should be here in a few minutes. The main issue now was getting onto a plane while it was being unloaded. I heard some people shuffling around, and looked up to see a helicopter in the distance flying in. I laid in wait, hoping to get a window once the people were distracted. Suddenly, the alarms started going off, with red lights flashing and a blaring siren.

“SUBJECT PALADIN HAS ESCAPED! LOCK DOWN ALL RAFTS AND HANGERS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!” A voice yelled over the intercom. The helicopter slowed to a halt, hovering there. My exit was forced to stop, with the people at the pad awkwardly standing there. I needed to get that helicopter to land, or at least close enough to get on board. I looked around for something, anything to help. There were some crates, people staring at the copter, a small station with some controls to something. Maybe there would be a radio to tell the pilot to land? I began to move away from the crates, keeping myself near the wall. Luckily, the workers were just making small talk, likely more annoyed than concerned. I managed to get within reach of the panel, only for the doors to suddenly open. I dove behind the console, with it barely covering me from view as someone walked in. A guard in body armor entered, locking the door. He motioned the helicopter to land, and was slowly checking some crates on the other side. The helicopter lowered down, touching down while keeping the rotors spinning. The guard seemed preoccupied checking crates, so I decided to make my move.

I slowly moved into the open, quickly sneaking to the copter. The others on the platform were busy searching boxes, so moving around undetected was pretty easy. I hid myself behind some netting, keeping an eye on the main doors. The alarms kept blaring, as eventually the guards gave up, returning to normal posts.It was clear no one was going to leave until the alarm stopped, and that only happened if I was caught. Not an option.

“Just fly the helicopter out. It’ll be easy.” Vida popped back in my head. “I’ll give you the basics.”

This was a terrible idea. The moment that I started to fly away, I would probably be shot down. But I only had to get far enough away to portal back to Vida’s plane. Which meant not being in range of people seeing, then the helicopter could crash and I would be ‘lost at sea’.

“A D.B. Cooper plan? I like it.” Vida chuckled. “The engine is still running, so just grab the pilot’s chair and I'll start filling you in on how to fly.”

I moved forward, sneaking behind the pilot. The woman flying was busy looking at her phone, not even paying attention. I pulled the seat belt loose, scaring the pilot, and quickly pushed her out of the helicopter. She fell to the ground, as I sat in the seat. I was suddenly rocked with a flash of several images, diagrams and mechanical blueprints, like a migraine, but only for a moment.

“Congrats, you can fly it now.” Vida spoke. “Sorry for the headache.”

I looked at the panel, now recognizing the dials and instruments. Vida beaming all that info in my head was definitely not what I thought would happen, but that thought was cut short by the doors opening to reveal Commander Leblanc storming in. Our eyes locked, and his were full of rage. I started throttling, trying to lift off as soon as possible. The helicopter started to rise away, only for me to hear thudding behind me as I flew away.

“You’re not going to escape me!” Leblanc was yelling, grabbing the landing rail. I quickly gave the motor more power. I looked back, only to see several guards with guns taking shots as I cleared the base. I heard pings as bullets struck the copter, but I was now outside the landing pad. The helicopter swung as I tried to steer towards open water.

“Confirming Visual.” The radio buzzed to life, apparently tuned to the base’s channel. “The commander and the prisoner are heading North via helicopter. Holding fire until outside of base.”

Well, that was a relief, at least until Leblanc came over the same radio. “NO, FIRE NOW! THAT IS A DIRECT ORDER!” The order rang between the radio and the commander, echoing as I looked to see him still hanging on, trying to climb in.

There was a pause, as if the guard had paused to think about this, then the gunfire got louder. Gatling guns rang out, sending lines of bullets into the air. I managed to fly the copter to the edge of the sea platform, just in time to hear beeping going off. Something had been hit, and the helicopter was slowly losing power. The motor sputtered, trying to spin. I looked down to see the sea below. This was my chance. I set the helicopter into a nosedive, then kicked open the door. I tried to jump out, only to be grabbed by a metal hand.

Leblanc had a rage in his eyes, completely vacant of logic as he held me in the cockpit with him. I struggled against his grip, trying to break away, as he leaned in closer. “No more clever moves, no more escapes.” Leblanc breathed heavily, swaying as the helicopter dropped. I looked down to see the water coming up closer and closer. I realized he meant to have me crash with him.

“We’ll both die!” I tried to bargain with him, even if it would buy me a second to think.

“Then I’ll die happy, knowing I took you down.” Leblanc locked eyes with me, grip as tight as ever. The helicopter finally fell into the water, immediately taking in water. Leblanc had me pinned to the inside of the body, water quickly filling inside. I struggled against the metal, taking a breath as water enveloped the space. Leblanc and I fought each other as the wrecked copter sunk farther into the sea. The sea water stung my eyes as I tried to break free from his grip. He kept me in his reach, punching me as I tried to move. I started to feel faint, I needed to make a move. I focused behind Leblanc, with golden sparks spawning in response. A portal spawned into being, and I put my last strength into a push, tackling us both into somewhere new.

[skyfcx]

     hm.

[petalstoashes]

NaruHina Fic Recs

NaruHina fanfics that I feel like don't get recommended enough

(Ratings from M to E)

Compounds by Midnightrain19 (Highschool AU)

"By definition, it means when two or more chemical elements bonded together that - wait, are you even listening Naruto?" Hinata paused looking up. A lazy smirk etches his face and shivers go up her spine, face warming. Leaning in, his grin widens. "Of course, I'm enjoying this talk on heat dynamics; especially with you!" She stutters and he beams, chemistry just got interesting…

Surprisingly this is the first naruhina highschool au fic I've read, and WOW. I really like how the characters are written, and this story will definitely catch you by surprise in the middle. It seems like an unassuming fluff fest, but it really hits you with the angst and the action. I can't say any more about it because I might spoil it. A MUST-READ.

Status: Complete



21 Days by BunnyHoodlum  @bunny-hoodlum (Modern AU)

Hinata answered a simple post from a flirty, and blatantly horny guy. She thought that might break her out of her shell, help her practice establishing her boundaries and all that stuff.

She never would have known that the flirty anon on the other side was someone she actually knew.

(I think this is a pretty well known fic? But I don't really see enough people talking about it.)

This is one of those fics where the tags would either frighten or intrigue you.

Something about Naruto being a military brat lights a fire in me (a very hot, smokey fire). I really love how Naruto's brain works in the fic. We dive in so deep into his own troubles with his family life, with his relationships, and with himself. Hinata's troubles are so well written, and I love how even if she's meant to be a bit closed off, she doesn't come across as meek and mild. 

The team 7 dynamic in this is adorable, and the smut is smutty.

Don't let the fact that it's incomplete sway you the story is so SO worth it.

Status: Incomplete (On going... I hope)

Another fic where we have Hinata "breaking out of her shell" is:

Money Shot by Orphan_Account (Modern AU)

As he drew closer to pay, the hairs on the back of his neck rose registering a faint scent for the first time - coconut. Immediately Naruto was flooded with memories of PearlPrincess’ stream from the night before. The sensual arch of her spine, her exquisite, high-pitched moans—

No. Hinata didn’t deserve to be compared to PearlPrincess. No matter how attractive she was, she was just too pure. And yet.

Hot. Hot. Hot.

Unfortunately I can no longer find the original author for this fic, but if you know who they are please tell me!

Status: Complete

Echoes of Silence by ellaroundpanda  @ellaroundpanda (Modern AU)

Hinata Hyuga was trapped. Her relationship with Toneri was leading to nowhere and she wanted to find a new Dom. Naruto Uzumaki seemed to be the answer to all her prayers, but her fiancé wouldn't give up that easily…

There was a time in my life where I would go onto AO3 every. single. day. hoping for an update on this, and by the grace of the author, it’s been recently updated. (July 29, 2022)

Again, the tags would either frighten or intrigue you. It’s definitely not for everyone (there’s one-sided sasuhina in this) but everything that might sway you is what’s going to keep you reading. The fluff is tooth-rotting. The tension is gripping. The smut in this is what 50 shades wanted to be. 

The author included warnings for very explicit scenes so I think you can just skip over those if you need to. 

Status: On going

edit: I found the tumblrs of the authors of “21 Days” and “Echoes of Silence” and tagged them accordingly! 

I still can’t find the tumblr of the author of “Compounds”, and I still can’t find who wrote “Money Shot”. If you know who they are please tell me!

[1kook]

commercial break: thirteen

this is part of my netflix & chill series

SUMMARY Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today.  WARNING jk ventures into puppy play a lil,(he makes her fetch) ITS A VERY LOOSE INTERPRETATION OF PUPPY PLAY, not even close/as intense as the real thing. also he wants to lick oc. and wants oc to lick him MISC just nc jk being nc jk WC 1k

NOTES testing da waters 😐 barely proofread n will probably fix later </3

He wishes he could lie and say it happens by accident, but the truth is, Jungkook has been sitting on this idea for weeks. 

“Fetch,” he says, tossing his popsicle stick across the room. 

It’s dead silent. The air conditioning, which usually fills in any silences between the two of you, is turned off today, as well as every other electrical appliance in the house. There’s maintenance going on this week, so the entire street is powered off. Among those appliances was Jungkook’s freezer, recently stockpiled with ice cream and popsicles meant to keep him cool through the hellish summer heat. Now melting, he had honestly just considered throwing them out, restocking next week. 

But, as always, he’s forgotten one critical bit of information— he’s dating you. You, Jungkook’s cherished other half, who would rather die than let him toss out perfectly good ice cream, forcing the two of you through brain freeze hell as you begin on your mad dash to finish all of the frozen treats. And it’s somewhere between his fourth popsicle and his fifth ice cream sandwich that the idea decides to show itself at the forefront of his mind. Disclaimer, this part is entirely your fault. 

There’s corny animal puns written on the popsicle sticks, the punch lines only accessible once you finish them completely. Honestly, Jungkook hasn’t been reading his. He knows you are, because occasionally you’ll randomly laugh mid-conversation upon learning pampered cows produce spoiled milk. But for all intents and purposes, he’s totally reading them (no, he isn’t) and finds them super funny (no, he doesn’t), before passing them onto you to enjoy. 

(He doesn’t care for them at all, but your laugh is really cute and Jungkook is really in love.) 

Anyway, before he can perform his regularly scheduled laugh, his grip falters and he drops the now popsicle-less popsicle stick. Without missing a beat, you reach down and pick it up, placing it back on his thigh. 

Flash forward a few minutes and approximately twelve inner monologues later, and he’s here, asking you to fetch. Like he said, dead silence. He can’t even bring himself to look at you, really. Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today. 

His skin feels hot, and he’s not really sure if it’s from the sweltering heat or the nerves that climb up his spine the longer your silence drags on. From the corner of his peripheral, he can tell you're looking in the direction of the discarded stick, sweat glistening down the length of your own neck as well. He wants to lick you clean— it’s so filthy, he’s so filthy —but he also wants you to lick him clean. Run your tongue along every inch of his skin like an overexcited… puppy greeting its owner after a long day.

Maybe he should just cuddle you and pretend this never happened, hide his blushing face against your shoulder until you eventually let it go. 

Just as he’s resigned himself to his rather humiliating faith, you move. Carefully, as if you’re also trapped in your own deep, inner monologue. Knowing you, you probably are. The popsicle stick is retrieved slowly; you don’t even bother to crouch down or anything, just swipe it off the ground quickly. And then you’re back, carefully setting it against his thigh once more. 

In less than thirty seconds, you’ve opened the door to an entirely new world. 

“Good girl,” he exhales quietly, picking up the stick carefully between his fingers. You linger in front of him for a second, just as unsure as him about how to proceed. Should he give you another command? Another treat? Jungkook doesn’t know, Jungkook is just as knew to this as you are. 

Before you can sit back down and possibly close that door once more, Jungkook’s brain fills in and has him tapping the wooden stick against his knee. Your eyes instinctively flicker down towards the object, the sound, lips pursed together. 

Slowly, he lets it slip between his fingers purposefully, watching as the sticky stick quietly lands on the carpet right between his feet. “Pick it up,” he commands, tries to shake the excitement from his voice, but his dick nearly jumps in his pants when you obediently sink down before him. (He didn’t even have to ask, you’re just so good for him.) You give him one final look, one that shakes him to his core, and then place both hands flat on the floor. 

Your behind comes up, your face disappears down below, and when you return, the stick is carefully held between your teeth. 

Oh, this was bad. It takes everything in him to keep from surging forward and enveloping you in his arms. “Wow,” Jungkook breathes instead, carefully taking it from your mouth. You part your lips, let your mouth hang open for a second too long, a second that has Jungkook’s cock straining beneath his clothes. 

He’s a little startled by the hand that comes to rest on his thigh, too caught up in the pretty gleam in your eyes. “You know,” you purr, hand crawling up his thigh. “I know a lot of other tricks too.” It settles over his bulge, gives him one teasing squeeze that has all the air leaving his lungs. 

Jungkook wants it so bad. Your mouth is always so warm and inviting, fits around him like a glove. 

But today, he can’t. He can’t falter. The popsicle stick is discarded, tossed across the room, and your gaze follows it in confusion until his hand comes forward to rest on your neck, squeezing and squeezing until your eyes roll backwards. “I didn’t know dogs could talk,” he spits, leaning forward to brush his lips along your cheek. A strained breath escapes you, but it sounds so good to his ears. Still, he knows when to stop, loosening his grip until you’re gasping to regain your breath. 

“Bark,” he says then, doesn’t doubt for even a moment that you won’t— you’re so good for him, always good. “Bark for me.” 

And you do. 

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr