#breaking free from the narrative

[nenjuu]

Breaking Free From the Narrative

Synopsis

The moment I remembered was the moment it all ended. Everything I was, everything I had to live for, was all a lie. My only purpose in life was to be the darkness that allowed her light to shine even brighter. After all, isn't that the job of the titular villain in any novel? So I'm done. I refuse. If the life I wanted is not meant for me, then I will create one of my own.

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Main Story

This a story about a villainess that suddenly remembers her life the moment before the start of her very downfall. As the daughter of a duke and the center of noble society, she is a very proud woman. She believes that all the luxuries in life is meant for her. So when realizes that she is a character in a fairy tale novel meant to elevate the heroine, she's pissed off. She's feels betrayed, humiliated. Everything she did, every action she took, didn't matter. In the end, all would be given to her filthy half-sister.

So at that very moment before her downfall, she gives up. She walks away. She's done living the life set out by the whims of someone else.

Personal Notes

The reason why I wrote this story was because I was tired of the villainess' personality always getting rewritten by the previous life's personality. Their personality always does this complete 180. They never share any aspects to the current life. In this story, the only thing that happens to the villainess is that she remembers. However, she still maintains the beliefs and personality she had before. She still believes her sister to be a filthy half-blood. She still believes she deserves the role of crown princess. Even though she willingly chooses to abandon that life, she still truly does believe that she is the most deserving of it over everyone else.

Surprisingly, the place she ends up going is the very convent she's banished to in the original story. But this time, she's going there on her own terms.

There's a certain character arc I want for Lucia. At the very start of the story, she loses all sense of purpose other than screwing up the author's story. But from the people in the convent, taking care of the orphans there, I want her to find herself once more. I want her to genuinely find purpose there. But the biggest thing for me, what I want the most, is for her not to change. I mean, she will change, don't get me wrong. But I want her to walk out of this still a proud woman to be respected and feared.

[gayofthefae]

Will haunting the narrative as both the innocent who was wrongfully destroyed AND the one that got away.

Season 2 Will impacting everything Mike does from that point forward just as much as Will's death impacts everyone.

El thinks of him when she confronts Brenner about the mind flayer, we know things like that. But Mike also thinks of him when he tells El he loves her.

They're all thinking of him. The last time they saw him.

The way he was never the same.

But Mike is thinking about the last time he saw him.

Losing him.

The way they were never the same.

(The way he can't get him back)

Yes, Will's disappearance changed everyone's trajectory forever. But he also changed Mike. He also made Mike's personal and romantic life impossible to return to after him.

He haunts more than just the people who mourn his death.

(The sole purpose of Mike's season 2 separation from El in the first place is so that he can never truly go back after Will)

[anxiousapplepie]

Oooo hey if you separated the AU’s into groups based on role, how would it go? Ie all the Travelers in one group, all the Researchers in another group, etc.

two birds of the same type with one stone, lessgo! Thanks to watching Overcooked shenanigans with my twin, I think all five Cooks would be a combination of hilarious and LOUD. Bonnie's asserted dominance over half the cooks but they also get distracted helping Odile and Mira with their food plans. Siffrin would be frozen in place and overwhelmed by the activity and noise until Cook!Isa calls out "help me chop veggies?". You know something catches on fire at some point. We've already had a "what if 5 Fighters" moment, and briefly talked about what 5 Housemaidens would do, but 5 Researchers is a new thought! I think everybody would form one massive study group and then do anything except share what they are studying. It ends up becoming a bookclub and Isa and Odile discuss the religious symbolism of crabs for an hour. Siffrin somehow includes constellations into the conversation. And 5 Travelers...? Well. It'd be a disaster, I know that with all my heart and soul. A fun disaster! An angsty disaster! A disaster full of love and affection! But a disaster all the same XD

[cataclysmictide]

She's Got Away

can't catch me now - olivia rodrigo/the subway - chappell roan/lady bird (2017)/pink pony club - chappell roan/the last of us part II/@kentucky-fried-goth-attire/life is strange/pink pony club - chappell roan/the subway - chappell roan/the last of us part II/can't catch me now - olivia rodrigo

[cassandrva]

the spiderverse movies, especially across the spiderverse, are perfect stories to analyze through a metafictional lens (for context: metafiction is when a story deliberately draws the audience's attention to its status as a story)

it's almost inevitable for a spider-man story set in a multiverse to build commentary on what it means to be a spider-man story. itsv certainly does it, but atsv doubles down on it tenfold.

throughout all of the film we see characters imposing a narrative on miles, telling him not only what to do but also how to present and even think about himself and his place in the world. they want him to distort his story, make it palatable, to conform to the beats and tropes everyone expects from him both as miles morales and as spider-man.

his guidance counselor wants him to be poster boy for the stereotypical american dream "poor child of immigrants pulls himself up by his bootstraps to become a great scientist" narrative

miguel insists on subjecting every single spider-person to the same traumatic tropes— sorry, "canon events" that (according to his algorithm) define the very nature of a spider-man story. he's like the comics authority of this spider-verse. any divergence miles attempts from the standardized narratives that are thrust upon him is heavily policed and disciplined

both the counselor and miguel are essentially saying the same thing: being who miles is is about sacrifice, and it's about suffering. to prevent that suffering or to acknowledge its absence means erasing his identity respectively as an afrolatino young man and as a superhero

and he is having none of it. this is not a spider-man narrative, this is his spider-man narrative. he's not going to reduce himself to fit into a nice cookie cutter generic marketable version of his own life

and in his literal main character moment he graduates from guy who is doomed by the narrative to Guy Who Dooms The Narrative. he's taken control of his own story. bet in the next movie he's gonna make the whole canon theory unravel. bet he's gonna break canon so hard it explodes.

[soo-won]

Nobody is asking Yona to sacrifice herself or stay with the dragons forever. That's not why ppl are upset with her imo. What's disappointing was that when the gods say Kouka would turn into hell, we didn't saw any hesitation in her. She could've argued w them or showed some determination like: "hey, I won't let you play with me or my country no matter how hard you try" something she did while zeno was trying to kill himself. But no she's like oh hell sounds fun as long as I'm with my family. She even hesitated when Hak's life seems at stake. So what does it mean? And there's is a difference between her running away from the gods vs Suwon not depending on the gods. She's ok to enjoy the blessings but when it comes to pay back, she's running away. Yona acted like a selfish brat like she used to be in the castle, which is disappointing if we consider her development in the past

I'm not gonna lie in this case I feel like people are just looking for something to be mad at her. Like, in chapter 257, I was more bothered by Yona not hesitating because the consequences of that decision were 100% assured and known : all the dragons of the past waiting and suffering in vain until the current generation. And the whole time paradox twist was a lot to process and swallow in a few pages, that Yona's reaction felt sudden too. I wanted to see her hesitate then because I was affected as a reader by the twist that it was technically Yona that made the cycle happen? Even if from her POV it was about not erasing the past like damn that's a lot.

But the circumstances are not the same at all here imo. Yona has been in this chalice for like an entire volume. She tried already to negociate with the gods. It didn't work. They went against their words. They hurt the dragons. She tried everything she could here. They're basically bullying her, they keep tormenting her, she's not getting through them at all. Yona is affected and upset when they tell her about the dragons' limbs. She came here to begin with to save them, she made a deal with the gods that made her stuck inside the chalice against her will but supposedly in exchange of the dragons being freed, and now she realizes that even that failed and that they lost body parts. It's devastating. And Yona looks sick of it. From this point, it's clear to me she realized it's useless trying to get anything from them, because she won't. They're only toying with her and her feelings. All she can do is leave with them and defuse. There's NOTHING she can do more from the heavens, she can't ask the gods to save the dragons and even less protect Kouka.

Yona has been having nightmares about natural disasters and wars breaking out since chapter 257, she's already past hesitating about this too. So I don't mind she doesn't hesitate for it here. Yona in chapter 257 was scared of even falling asleep because she was scared of this future where she's all alone and it's hell everywhere. But she can only stop it by facing it and standing against it. It didn't happen yet, she has to keep her eyes open... She already learned this lesson. As we've seen with Yona protecting Hak from Zeno, her nightmares can be prevented, but this won't be if she stays still in heavens. Staying in a peaceful garden and shivering because intervening outside could cause more problems is much more like Yona of the beginning before her development, than Yona leaving to live in Kouka and fight against problems arising there. Yona was told her existence and actions were a pain that could create more problems at different occasions, and her conviction has always been to make her own place in the world anyways. Before she asks for the gods' divine protection, she should face her own fears and try to do something herself...that's how she always worked. She has always refused to rely on the gods alone.

The motif of living outside and in not the most comfortable place but finding purpose in getting through struggles together has been a thing forever that Yona's reaction about life outside being preferable only seems natural to me. I don't know... Her hesitating here would have felt redundant and would have surprised me. Yona has long ago developed the conviction that she finds more purpose in life in the struggles and difficulties because of all the people reaching out their hand to help, than her peaceful and confined, lonely days in the palace. She always found more purpose in helping people on the ground than to take decisions from above. Even in the castle and south kai arcs it was visible how she wanted to go help prisoners herself, and the way she went to rescue Meinyan shows it well too. I don't want her to hesitate for this. She already said she'd rather live in the mud in chapter 263 too. That's the most Yona thing ever imo, it makes me happy personally. It doesn't need to be said she's concerned for others, and she will keep running to their help to do something with her own hands. I don't need her to hesitate because personally I have no conflicted feeling about the situation and I think Yona is 100% right, here. I have no doubt she is intelligent enough at this point to say this too.

You could argue it would have been better if she had a speech like the one she had in chapter 43, and I can't argue about that (it's true it's very good!). I can understand, I just personally don't need it, because the fact chapter 43 exists is enough in itself to me and the present automatically resonates with it and everything before. I can't be mad at Yona not saying word for word "I'm going to save people struggling outside" because I already know that. I personally don't need that reassurance at this point.

The chapter shows her being concerned for Kouka and everyone on Earth when she flies on Ouryuu's back. Yona always planned to return from the chalice for everyone and everything she left behind on Earth. Of course she's concerned. She wants to bring her friends back from the chalice AND help everyone in Kouka. She promised Yun she would come back with everyone, she planned to return to Suwon too and not abandon her duties as Princess. All these things exist inside of her. Anyways, Yona doesn't need to tell the gods to stop toying with her country like she did with Zeno before too, because the ways things are presented, it seems like it's not like the gods cause this on purpose either? It's a consequence of everything going to shit, and it's also Ouryuu who is on her side talking to her before she says she prefers hell than here. So she doesn't reply angrily, she replies with hope. That's why that page is beautiful too, imo. The gods might not see and understand the value in such a world that Hiryuu and Yona are so fond of. But they can't help but love this messy, "hellish" world. Talking angrily to the gods didn't work in ch263/264 either, so I feel like it was also her trying a different approach when she told them she would live in Kouka maybe? Like she doesn't want to let herself be affected and be upset by them and she simply, intransigently voices her intentions to them?

You say you don't want her to sacrifice herself and stay with the gods forever, but also accuse her of "running away" from the gods and call her a selfish brat for her reactions in this chapter, so I really don't understand your point here. How on earth is Yona supposed to not depend on the gods in this situation but by not making a deal with them? Staying in Heavens, contract done to protect Kouka from doom and ending it at that (because she would be stuck there) would be truly the coward move imo. Yeah she's turning back and trying to get out of Heavens but... it's...good to stop moving forward and further if doing so brings you to extreme loneliness and/or death I think...? I think that's the point...Getting desperate, leaving everything behind and sacrificing more and more of your true wants and isolating yourself has been a pattern that never brought anything good to the characters that tried before. She struggles and things didn't happen as expected, many things are still unresolved, but she can only do so much in this situation. She tried. She tried discussing with the gods, asking them to free the dragons, to let her out. It didn't work, it was a blow on her when they forced her under a sea of flowers, when they tried torturing Zeno, and when she learned the dragons got injured. From that, she adapted and tried to leave. That's it.

I think Yona wavering when they threaten to kill Hak and what it means is pretty simple and is no secret. Yona loves and cares about Hak. Hak is someone important, personal and intimate to her, so obviously she's not unaffected. Yona from the very beginning has been trying to get stronger and do all she could to protect Hak again and again. Losing people dear to her is what scares her more than anything, it always has been so, even if it coexists with her caring about the world around her too. And you know, even if Hak is special to her, I honestly think that if the gods had threatened the lives of the dragons and not only their limbs, Yona would have been affected too. She would have also faltered had they threatened the life of people she doesn't know in the same terms. It's just extra cruel to use Hak in particular against her. It shows again the gods atp are only interested in destroying everything that might be connecting Yona to Earth. It's the exact same form of abuse that Chagol used against Meinyan. It's about isolating her. It's also not really the same as claiming people will die without the gods' divine protection that is more like a potential consequence than a term of a contract like it is at the end of the chapter. She can stand against conflicts outside and protect people there, but what can she do against Hak just, being killed by divine intervention if she doesn't return to heavens (supposedly)? They fucking coerce her here. Maybe it's just bluff, and she should not give a fuck about Hak and still leave. After all, what is one person against the world and her freedom! But well, she cares. She never discarded her loved ones and never compromised Hak and her friends' life. She never compromised the life of anyone really (which is different from sparing and refusing to kill anyone). That's who Yona is. Yona doesn't sacrifice and compromise people's lives, That's why she wants to save everyone AND wants to go home. And that's why she's stuck now. Yona wants to live. But she can't sacrifice someone innocent either, especially not someone she loves. It's the perfect dilemma for her. And that she's forced into it is what is heartbreaking. She shouldn't have to choose. That's why she needs help now.

Bringing up payback like this rubs me a bit in the wrong way...This damn idea of paying back is what has been haunting the narrative for so many years i can't conceive repeating it for Yona too. To me it comes from the same mindset that asks for retribution, punishment and karma for every character that upset Yona in some way or should be grateful and kneel to her and Hak that has been so sickening for so long. I don't want anyone to be forced to pay anything back ever. Every character should get all the help and support they need for free at all times imo. I don't think Yona nor the dragons should have to pay such a harsh price either. Because that's what a blessing is. That's what love and kindness are. That's what wishes are. If the gods really cared for Hiryuu, they wouldn't ask her anything in return, they wouldn't torment her, they wouldn't punish the dragons either. It can just...stop. (Because yes this favor shouldn't be at all to begin with) Which is what Yona wants.

Aren't we so tired of all this "contracts" and "punishment" and "paying back" bullshit by now? I so am. It's exactly what has been ruining the lives of the characters forever and now (and my mental health as a reader lol). She's paying back right now by being in this situation already. And that's not a good thing at all. It's very good narratively though because yeah, they want her to pay back! They make this about contract when she was asking a favor! She's paying the price for her decision in ch257, for ever using the dragons, for entering the chalice as Hiryuu's reincarnation...But it's nothing but sad. There doesn't need to be this payback. That's what the story is exploring. Looking for the dragons to survive (whom she never forced, even if yes they were bound by their contract thing) and protect Hak is not a crime, not erasing the past to save her friends isn't so evil that she deserves to sacrifice herself. Making it end is enough. It may be selfish that yeah she enjoyed the good parts of it until it bothered her but honestly I think it's okay lol. As long as it ends. As long as no one has to pay back anything for doing their best to survive and struggling to protect something. Like Meinyan doesn't need to apologize or to pay back anyone for all she did and was done for her, just like Suwon doesn't need to be even and be punished, like Shinah doesn't need to executed for attacking Suwon, like Zeno doesn't need to be punished for betraying Yona and the ddhhb, etc... Because it's better to look at the bigger picture and at people's circumstances you know...That's how I interpret this arc, at least.

Yona doesn't pay back by sacrificing things, she "pays back" by giving back out of gratitude. That's precisely what she does by doing all she can to save the dragons right now. The dragon warriors gave her so much without ever asking anything back, they saved her from danger and they saved her from despair, she's so grateful and loves them so deeply she wants to bring them happiness too. But Yona can't give the Gods what they want without sacrificing important things to her, and not when they're the way they are now. So she can only leave.

Of course Yona/Hiryuu alone getting this treatment from the gods was always unfair and it shouldn't be at all, especially not at the cost of so many dragons suffering for so long. But well, she did. And when learning how this "favor" was hurting the people around her, she was affected, grieved it in ch253/254, and then she opposed it and tried to stop it in the present. (Also she's been concerned by the dragons' use of their powers for a very long time even if she doesn't go deeper) But the gods don't care. You can blame her for not questioning things more before, I'm critical of this too, I still conflicted about chapter 257 as well, plus everything irt the crimson illness etc but like, she says it, she doesn't want their powers if that's the price. She only wants the human them. She doesn't need the dragons' powers and she doesn't need the gods' protection. When she throws away Hiryuu's sword they give her, it's her rejecting that again. She doesn't want that special power and favor, that's not what she's asking. She wants agency and power, but not at the price of the agency and free will of others. She wants everyone to have normal lives where they can decide things for themselves, to live with their whole free will. That's her development in this arc. I like that she finally faces these things.

Maybe it's just a question of preference, and you might be affected by Yona's reactions in a way I can't relate. But personally I like the chapter this way and I like Yona in it. I don't think she's a selfish brat (god. it's...such a thing to call her honestly it irks me sorry, despite all criticisms I have of her character.) I don't think she doesn't care about Kouka and its people at all. Ive seen people say that too but...Even if yes Yona is still a 16 years old girl with struggles and feelings and still some immaturity which is important to take into account, I don't think she's as childish and inconsiderate as people make her either. People often seem to say her reactions and decisions are emotional and with no reason but I think they're emotional AND with reason, at least here. Yona doesn't say this about Kouka struck by disasters being preferable than Heavens from emotions alone (because yes, she just wants to go home and she genuinely loves the people in Kouka), but also from experience and conviction. They don't cancel each other out. It doesn't make her a hypocrite to have personal interests in it too.

[kradogsrats]

I'll be doing a scene-by-scene breakdown of Viren's dark magic fever dreams at some point, but I just want to get out the part making me go absolutely feral:

In the first sequence with the mirror, he says, also for the first time:

We meet again. Only this time, here I am on the other side. The path of fate is already chosen. Every step I took, I took because I had to.

Now, who is he speaking to? His reflection? Well, maybe... but at literally no point in this sequence is the shot angled to see the face of the mirror:

He seems much more to be addressing the mirror itself, as a symbol of where everything went horribly wrong pivoted to the events that brought him to this point. He's on the other side of a whole bunch of things: history, death, several moral event horizons—but, figuratively, he's also implying that he's on the other side of the mirror. Which, you may recall, is a literal prison.

Now, just to quickly summarize the thesis of the eventual big meta on this: every single thing in this entire dream sequence is about choice and free will. Yes, including the Twin Peaks section. Exactly like Callum's was.

The second time we see the mirror, we do get to see Viren's reflection, as it changes from showing his younger self to his corrupted self. This is much more explicitly referencing a crucial pivot point in his past—immediately before this we had the section with Soren, at the end of which Viren protests, "I had to do something. I had to save him. I had no choice!"

Then we have the final mirror sequence, also the final sequence in the dream:

Viren again stands before the mirror, and delivers the exact same monologue... but this time addresses his younger self, seen on the other side of the mirror.

I think, because of the shot framing and various other things, this is almost definitely what Viren saw when he had his first dark magic vision, years earlier. The mirror, and himself—older, more powerful, but also ravaged by corruption and regret—delivering this warning. That's why the monologue sounds weirdly rehearsed, he's literally delivering the lines he heard years earlier. As he must.

And this is again a pivotal moment in the path Viren took—the first time he did dark magic—but it's also a pivotal moment now. Because, like younger Viren says:

No matter where you are on the path, no matter what you've done before, every step forward is a choice.

So why does he apparently not remember his own reaction? Well, Viren is quite possibly the only person to ever have two of these visions, which we now know occur only the first time a person does dark magic, so we're already deep into some weirdness. Maybe he remembers it happening differently. Maybe he didn't remember it at all, until now. Maybe he remembers it clearly, but years of poisoning himself with pragmatic bitterness have twisted it in his mind into something he could dismiss as naivete, and only now is it suddenly hitting different. (It's that one.)

But ultimately what we have here is young Viren asserting to himself and to current Viren that no, he has a choice, and always will have a choice. That is, in and of itself, a choice he is making—he's choosing to reject the excuse that his older self made the foundation of his life, I had no choice. He also extends the same choice to current Viren—I am free, and so are you. And current Viren, having now been given that choice, chooses to take it. It's an absolutely crazy time ouroboros of choices, and I fucking love it because the absolute crux of Viren's arc here, at the end of this season, is knowing he still has a choice.

[rin-hanarin]

Subverting expectations.

[lepetitloir]

I love rereading retrace 33: echo of noise, like, you have no idea how many times I've reread it now.

Something that always gets me is this interaction:

Because it's such a good example on how Vincent is portrayed as the villain - by Jun and by himself - while if you return to it later it turns out it was just deception. Just... man, the way Gilbert's question ends with "Is there something important you're keeping from me?" and Vincent answering "no" because from how he sees it, there really isn't anything important he's hiding... Like, the thing he's hiding is just how bad of an influence Vincent had on Gilbert's life (according to Vincent), and he thinks that to Gilbert that wouldn't be important to know because (1) why would it be good if Gilbert remembered something so awful and (2) Vincent will undo it anyway by committing suicide in an absolute way, erasing his existence with it.

And then the way Vincent says "I wouldn't lie to you" because he's technically not lying! But he knows that this is not what Gilbert asked, I mean. Look at his face! Look at the dark background!! He takes this opportunity to make himself seem evil, so nothing would remain of him aaaugh

He makes it all come full circle: Gilbert asked a question which Vincent took a different way but aswered honestly, and now makes it seem as if he was lying ON PURPOSE

[birdricks]

i realllyyyy love the interpretation of prime as being not much more than a reflection of who c-137 COULD have been. like in the sense that his motivations and backstory are really not all that important because his sole purpose in the story is to mirror c-137 and ricks as a whole

[nenjuu]

Breaking Free From the Narrative Chapter 1 | 2k words

The moment I remembered, suddenly everything felt so dumb. So useless. As if I had been making a fool of myself before a laughing audience this whole time, striving after the wind. Did it really have to be now that I finally remembered, the very moment right before I was about to sign the contract that promised her death? The very moment that marked the start of my downfall? Placing down the quill, I let out a sigh.

“I changed my mind. That filthy woman is not worth it. We are done here,” I announced as I stood from my seat. Seeing me walk away so easily, Allaide Caruso, leader of the assassin’s guild, jumped to his feet in confusion at the sight. Noticing the guards make their way in front of the door to cut me off and my personal knight reach for his sword, I paused and glanced back with a brow raised.

“Lady Eligos, please understand. It took a lot of work to meet me today. I don’t show my face before just anyone. If there is no deal to be made, I hope you understand why I can’t just let you walk away so easily,” he said in a voice that couldn’t be described by any other words, but ‘slimy.’ I sighed. How filthy.

“Ezekiel, hand him the payment,” I ordered my personal knight. Though his eyes widened in confusion, I held his gaze, rendering my order absolute. “Lord Caruso, I believe this will pay back any trouble I have caused you. And if that is not enough, we may draft up a magic contract to ensure my silence.”

But as he opened the chest Ezekiel placed before him and saw the gold bars shining inside, I knew I would not have to stay here any longer.

“No, this is perfectly fine, Lady Eligos. I’ll have my men see you out.” I wanted to snort. Fools, the lot of them. Always blinded by greed. And–

I gritted my teeth as I turned away. Though I came wearing a charm that changed my appearance, I was quick to throw on the hood of my robe when we made it outside. There, in the back, was an unmarked ordinary carriage waiting for me. Had I not known everything that was about to occur, I would have boarded it with the heady rush of success flowing through my veins. Now…

“After we exchange carriages, head to the Eligos manor through the servant’s entrance,” I ordered Ezekiel. Though he once again looked surprised, I gave him no further explanation. Had I not known the future, I would have been on my way back to the palace to take my rightful place as top pick for the Moon’s Competition, the event the king himself started to choose the rightful bride for his son. But there was no point in going there any longer. 

Arriving at the manor, I quickly made my way back to my room and took out the suitcase I used whenever I spent the night elsewhere. Into it I threw all the jewelry I amassed over the years. With it I also placed inside the clothes I wore whenever I snuck out to the common city, saving one that I chose to change into. Once I finished, the moon was high in the sky. If I dallied any longer, no doubt I would be tied to my fate. 

Thus, after penning a letter that I made sure to have sent to the palace and one to my father, I took my suitcase and made my way back down to the carriage where Ezekiel awaited. Though he was my loyal knight and very well knew not to question my orders, I still could see the worry and confusion evident in his expression. After all this time and despite everything I put him through, it was sad that I only realized now how lucky I was to have someone like him.

“I know it will take some time, but make way to the Lowhaven,” I ordered while boarding the carriage. To say that it would take some time was an understatement. Lowhaven was located on the very northern edge of the empire. And with the seasons beginning to change into winter, no doubt it would take at least a month to get there. “Also, be discrete, Ezekiel. I do not want anyone to know where we are going.”

Taking my seat, I glanced out the window as the horses started off. This would be the last time I laid eyes on my childhood home for perhaps the rest of my life. And yet, as I watched it pass by, there was nothing I could feel about it. I always knew I was not going to spend my whole life there. I was destined for greatness. That’s what I believed wholeheartedly. That was, until I remembered my previous life and learned that everything I believed I was meant to be all turned out to be a lie. 

I almost couldn’t believe it at first. I wanted to pass it off as a mere delusion. After all, how could I, Lucia, the daughter of the great Duke Eligos, be nothing more than a villainess? But no. The story told it all. 

Drunk on her power, she cruelly bullied and berated the main character of the novel, her filthy half-sister, Angela. But as time passed and Angela became popular, even managing to gain the affection of the crown prince, Lucia fell to a deranged jealousy. After she was caught attempting to murder her sister, she was sent to a convent. Not even her father could save her as he had been caught guilty of tax evasion and selling national secrets to the enemy nations. 

Everything I did, every action I took was written plain to see within the novel. Like a little conniving rat following me around, it made sure to detail every moment of my villainy. And as for Angela? She was portrayed as a saint. Never mind her filthy blood. Never mind her eyes the color of demons. She was beautiful, the epitome of kindness and grace. The story was written for her.

The moment I remembered everything was the moment I realized what my true role in this world was. I was the opposite side of the coin, the ugliness of the world. After everything, after all I had been through, my purpose in life was to be the darkness that made Angela more beautiful. I was meant to make her shine into a precious gem untouched by the world. That was all.

Staring at my hands, I couldn’t help but giggle. Soft to the touch, nails manicured to perfection, dainty and clean—even down to my hands I was perfect. So how could this be? Running a hand through my hair, my giggles grew even louder. How disgusting. How invasive. How cruel. I was perfect. Everything about me was to be awed. But when it boiled down to it, all that I was meant for in the world was to make someone else shine brighter. 

Scrambling for the knife kept hidden under the seat, I grabbed a hank of my hair, the long locks that I spent a fortune maintaining, the curls that sparkled like gold under the sun. Pulling it taught, I forced the knife through. And to the floor those golden tresses fell, the treasure I was so proud of. And with one bunch done, I grabbed more. I couldn’t stop myself. It was addicting, chopping and hacking. What a delight it was. Such things were of no use to me anymore, after all. 

Ezekiel couldn’t help but gasp when he let me from the carriage a few hours later to rest. Lord knew how I looked with tear stained cheeks, red eyes, and hair so unevenly hacked. But I couldn’t help but smile. My heart beat with joy as a heady rush filled my chest. Gone were the expectations of me. Gone was the pride I held so closely to my chest. Was this what it felt like to be free?

But perhaps what gave me the most joy was the shock and great concern in Ezekiel’s features. Though I knew I should have felt at least a bit of guilt forcing him to stay at my side as I lost my mind, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t make Angela pay for this, let alone anyone else. I could wreak havoc no more. So if I could have at least one person witness the wrath that boiled so violently within my blood, I’d let myself be satisfied with that. 

As the days passed, I let one thing go after another. The makeup I brought with me sat unused in its case. The lotions and creams I spent fortunes on stayed at the same height. I didn’t bother to eat much anymore, and when I did, the manners so drilled into me as a child remained unutilized. 

I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. What was the point anymore now that everything I knew and believed in growing up was a lie? That no matter how much I tried and struggled, the only ending that was left for me was disgrace? That everything I achieved mattered for nothing in the end? All because of what? The whimsy of some author? 

So as I marched ever closer willingly to the ending this author penned so thoughtfully for me, certain giddiness bubbled through my veins. Now that I knew, I refused to march to their tune any longer. I refused to play along anymore. So how would they react when the great climax they dutifully prepared for decades would ultimately be ruined by a participant that failed to show up? Would they cry? Would they beat their chest in fury? Would they search for me to punish me themselves? How lovely it was to imagine. 

But as the weeks passed and the more I thought about it, in a way, it was almost amazing for me to think how I abandoned my previous goals so easily. I was raised to believe that the side by the crown prince was my rightful place. I was taught that my half-sister was beneath me. I was groomed to be the jewel of society. I was born raising my head high and knowing my place in the world. And now?

I simply could not care anymore. Though it delighted me to ruin the story, I did not mourn what I left behind. Remembering the past made me realize that that world was never mine to covet. More than that, there was nothing that was mine. I was temporary, meant to be thrown away. I was just a character in someone else’s love story. 

Though a younger me would have sought for revenge, battling for what I felt I deserved, I could not see the point in it now. What was the point of trying in that world that was not meant for me? Failure would be the only ending. If abandoning everything—my life, my pride—meant I could take control of my life and create a world purely for myself, then there was no other path I could take. That was the life I would live. 

So when we finally arrived at the gates of the convent in Lowhaven, I finally met the eyes of my loyal knight that stayed with me all this way. Holding my head high, I gave him a smile and thanked him for the first time. 

“Take this,” I said as I handed him a bag of gold coins, an amount that would do more than support him in whatever endeavors he decided to take in the future. “From here on, you are dismissed as my knight and as a knight of Duke Eligor. With that, I give you one last order. Live for yourself, Ezekiel. Be free. And… for what it’s worth, thank you for staying by my side for so long.” 

And with that, I turned away from him, from any and all protests he had to give, and entered the very doors of the convent. 

[psalmsofpsychosis]

Hello~~

Do you think that it is absolutely insane to start watching 'Gotham' just because I might be interested in the BatJokes situationship?! 'cause I do have other shows queued and some sort of life going on so the timing isn't that right but smh I feel like I need to do something for my curiosity, tho I'd like some of advice lol

Thank you anyway ;)

LMAO hi, i mean, i started watching Gotham just because i was interested in the batjokes situationship, so *cheerily honks clown nose*

hmm, i dont quite know your context, so i dont know what kind of "advice" are you looking for exactly, but some general notes would be; This is a 100 episode 5 season prison sentence home arrest show. The batjokes situationship/s start from season 3-ish OR near the end of S4 depending on your definition of batjokes lmao, so you're kinda looking at a long pretty batjokesless ride here. Personally i knew that information going in, so i was like "i'm gonna try Gotham for flavour, and if it sticks, then i guess i'm in for the ride." And boy i wasn't ready for how well it sticks, one of the worst industrial grade glues i have ever had the misfortune of being subjected to in my life 34.6/10 experience would do it again.

Gotham TV is such distinct and paculiar and singular Batman production, it sacrified being an official part of canon continuity in order to portray some of the most bizarre, deranged, delightful, heartfelt and heartbreaking moments in live action Batman media, and the batjokes situationship is absolutely a part of this throne, if not the crown jewel. So like, prepare to have your life be lost on you if you ever decide to give it a try 😂❤️ i got into it for batjokes, but i absolutely stayed for *motions hand in the direction of everything* the whole circus. It's such an unexpected live action Batmanverse experience with a very distinct quality of storytelling, and you'll know if you like it by the pilot episode alone, you dont have to wait on the narrative to grow on you.

[sunofaraven]

Oh my god, my boi!!!!

Scar did so fucking GOOD and I've never been prouder. People saw him as the weak link--said look at this man with no friends who's clumsy and silly. Gem literally went after him first when she was the boogeyman because she saw him as an easy kill.

Scar, the man who was disregarded. Even by the fandom. He was just a reason for Grian to hurt--someone for Grian to kill and cry over. Even the Watchers laughed at Scar, forcing him to make enemies. Forcing him to say no to Grian when he asked for an alliance.

"Can we still be friends?" Taunted the universe.

And Scar said "I'm not playing your stupid games."

Scar wore those poppies and lilacs on his cloak as a warning. Not to Grian, they had nothing to do with him. It was for us--for the Watchers. Scar was saying "I am not afraid of your narratives."

Scar was not honourable in the same way that Scott was. He was not driven to madness by loneliness like Pearl. He did not give in to the bloodlust and betrayal like Martyn.

He was fair; lawful evil in its purest form. Scar refused to kill Pearl because that felt lame. If he was going to win, it would be on his terms.

And he did it.

In the most beautiful character arc of the last five seasons, Scar DID IT.

And oh boy was it deserved.

[sisterdivinium]

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Category: Gen Relationship: Sister Camila & Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun) Characters: Sister Camila (Warrior Nun), Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun), Yasmine Amunet, Mother Superion (Warrior Nun), Jillian Salvius, Father Vincent (Warrior Nun) Additional Tags: Rated for some gore

"To see the friend, not the demon… Camila had both hands atop Lilith’s in trying to yank herself free, but she dared to detach one of them and raise it towards her foe, to her face, aiming to stroke her cheek." Scarce as it is, all evidence points to the same culprit... Camila is sure she is the only one who can uncover the truth.

[flugame-mp3]

SEASON NINE FINALE WAS WILD. I HAVE MANY MANY THOUGHTS. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER FOR SURE

[blorbou]

#NewProfilePic THEYRE BESTF RIENDS. DO NOT SEPERATE.