#break my internet addiction lmao.

[snekdood]

youtube not working bc its so upset ppl wont let them abuse ads might be a blessing in disguise for me bc its just gonna train me into thinking the site just doesnt work and then just stop using the internet as much. literally helping me kill my social media addiction.

[darlinguistics]

'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'

heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.

*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3

first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.

dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.

-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!

if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'

listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc

this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.

-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.

find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.

-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever

get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful

practice grounding. in general.

spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here

-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!

do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not

speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? if you have designated fan accounts, are they still a source of joy or of stress? do you need them on all the platforms or just one or two? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere, maybe even offline? (again you dont have to stay one way forever, just encouraging checking in with yourself!)

if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?

in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.

and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3

[vide0-nasties]

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME EMILY @lemon-bats 🥰🥰

1. Were you named after anyone?

To the best of my knowledge no, at least for my real name! My internet name, Rags, I actually just ended up snagging from one of my OCs - a washed up rockstar named Cosimo Ragatz, who was a recovering drug addict that founded an indie record label with his wife.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh god, it was some time last week?? So much real life stuff had piled up and I think it was honestly some kind of mini-break or smth, god only knows. But I’m feeling better now lol.

3. Do you have kids?

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT LMAO. My mom passed when I was young and I raised my younger siblings, I’ve done my time in the child rearing mines and I’m never doing it again.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

For a really long time I rode horses and I was a really good three day eventer. I also really loved archery and swimming. I also rode dirt bikes too, and I’d love to get back into it!! 🥰🥰

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes indeed!! But I’m not sure that I use it as much as I used to. Not for any particular reason, I don’t think dgheh.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I’m boring and predictable and I pretty much always notice height first 😂😂 I do also notice face shapes and noses, though!!

7. What’s your eye color?

Dark brown that leans pretty close to black dfhjd.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Each have their own benefits and negatives!! A time and a place for everything 👏👏

9. Any talents?

I’m a good writer, and I’m pretty good at accents! I also like to think I’m the funniest asshole in any given room at any time 😂😅

10. Where were you born?

Commonwealth of Virginia babeyyyyy 🦩 there aren’t cardinal emojis, but I’m still barely south enough to be southern lol.

11. What are your hobbies?

I like posting video games, writing, playing dnd, a lil bit of digital art. Painting my nails. Dfhjd. Running outta stuff here, uhhhh. Panicking trying to remember my meds, but that’s more a full time occupation lol.

12. Do you have any pets?

Four dogs (a cocker spaniel, a border collie, a pit bull, and a boxer lab 🥰🥰), some barn cats, and a little grade paint horse named Rooster who’s a complete ASSHOLE.

13. How tall are you?

5’6” or 5’7”, it depends on how tall I want to feel that day dghjd

14. Favorite subject in school?

History and English!!! I really wanted to be a historical researcher for a career when I was in school and I still think about it. I would’ve liked to study Appalachian history from pre-Civil War to present.

15. Dream job?

LOL 😂😂 historical researcher, possibly an author, or a rare and antique jewelry shop owner siiigh. I really fell in love with fine jewelry at my last job, and I would DIE to be able to do it again, but in a much more niche fashion.

No Pressure tags: @smoggyfogbottom @brilliantblasphemer @dotcie @kastlequill @skinnyazn @snail-eggs @lunarvicar @siriusleee 💖💖

[space-station-collective]

some of the less pretty parts of plurality

we talk a lot on this blog about the funny or nice parts of being plural, but there's also a lot of bad shit that can come with it. it's not all good, just like it's not all bad. it just is! sometimes, seeing posts like this makes us feel a little better, knowing we aren't alone in these struggles and seeing other people who have come through it, so, here's this

this is going to require a lot of me being vulnerable on the internet lmao

everything is going under a cut, and i'm marking applicable TW and CWs here as well as in the tags. i tried to keep it as light as possible (if there's any tags i missed, PLEASE do let me know and i'll add them ASAP /gen)

(this is also quite a long post, under the cut the word count is: 437)

WARNINGS: addiction mentions, physical illness, exotrauma mentions

-) developing an addiction/dependency that everyone has to manage, due to one headmate's actions

-) trying to collectively recover from addiction when not everyone wants to, and some headmates actively working against the progress and goals

-) more specifically, having to maintain a clean streak for everyone, not just one individual. not just yourself. we have an agreement- we stick together with this stuff

-) headmates who actively dislike people we know, and generally collectively like, and having to manage and ignore secondhand emotions towards those people when the headmates in question are around (not to say, ignoring how those headmates feel about people, but moreso not letting the emotions bleed through into our own interactions)

-) panicking because your job directly relates to helping other headmates, and despite your best efforts, things keep getting worse (not directly applicable to me who is writing this -host)

-) having to agree with headmates, who have done nothing wrong, that they can't be around front, because they're symptom holders, and the body is ill enough all the time that we physically can't handle them fronting

-) fighting. constant fighting. i can't think of a day since our syscovery that there hasn't been some sort of fight, argument, breakdown, violence, some sort of incident internally

-) so many headmates with so much exotrauma. some of their triggers have bled into our collective triggers, and holy shit is it hard to explain thost to people who don't understand exomemories, or even who don't know about the system

-) having to watch littles who are far too young for any of this experience this whole ordeal

-) "Atlantis" by Seafret. it's about an extremely different topic, but the lyrics hit home. "i can't save us, my atlantis, we fall. we built this town on shaky ground." because holy fuck, it feels that way sometimes

several of these things are now managed, several are not. being human is a weird, messy, fucked up experience, and when you shove a bunch of consciousnesses into one human body, it gets even more convoluted

whoever you are, whatever reason you might have for reading this: i love you. you are not alone in your struggles. you have support from so many places, and you will get through whatever you're currently experiencing, be it so simple as your favourite pencil breaking, all the way to personal tragedy. you are loved

-the host (he/they), expressing thoughts of the collective

(scheduling this to post outside of the queue because our content is usually much more lighthearted than this and i don't want to take up a spot for that)

[irlcats-bracket]

Bracket 1 SEMIFINALS 1

AVIE VERSUS RUSTY

AVIE

AVIE

Her full name is Avalon but that's too regal for her so she's just Avie. Yes submitter named her. She's an unrepentant food thief that makes the most (adorable) indignant sounds when they remove her from the source of temptation, purrs loud enough to be heard from across the room, and is so SO very tiny with tiny legs and the smallest little dainty paws. But her most important feature... is the tongue. She forgets it out so often. Asleep? Tongue. Grooming and something made a noise? Tongue. Just casually staring? Tongue's peekin' out a lil bit. Submitter loves her so much. And SHE loves YOU. Guaranteed. This is a lap cat. If you come visit, park it anywhere and she is on your lap to say hello.

PROPAGANDA

this is her RIGHT NOW (not anymore lmao) look at her she has no idea that she has fans. not a care in the world. tongue still out. no thoughts head empty.

also look what a cute lil ball she makes

Fun fact: She often does the maneki-neko pose, and it is always adorable. Here it is on full display during last night's snuggle sesh.

RUSTY

Rusty used to be a stray and then he had An Accident and now he has three legs (he had been living at a vet's office for a month when submitter adopted him). But he's doing great! Submitter taught him how to climb stairs and built him some steps out of cardboard boxes so he can get on their bed whenever he wants. They think he could be anywhere from 6 to 12 years old, it's hard to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. To their pleasant surprise, he does not mind wearing a harness at all, which is good because he still loves the outdoors. He often gets his ear turned inside out while bathing and weirdly prefers dry food over wet.

PROPAGANDA

breaking: semi-feral baby learns to cuddle, becomes addicted to laying on my face

and here he is chillin on the patio with me!

vote for rusty #1 best at sticking out leg

when i first got Rusty he could not go up stairs... but he could go down, so he would get stuck at the bottom of them and meow for help. Of course he also hated being picked up and carried up the stairs.

but now he just goes ZOOP up the stairs doing audible damage to my carpet the whole way, which is so valid of him because i hate carpet on stairs

[wubwubnparmaham]

I think I've told you this before, but I would absolutely read books you write that aren't fanfiction. if you write actual books would you tell us how to find? i'll buy them so fast, i'm seriously addicted to your writing style tehe :P

A TEHE AND A COLON P?!? IN 2024? BLESS YOU, child. It is as though you are speaking to me from the ancient scrolls of our internet past.

Regarding your actual message, it's funny you should say it now, because actually, I AM writing real books, yes, and I took a break from clacking away at one of them to check tumblr. The current manuscript for the first book in my series in its beta reading process right now, and then I'll work on the long road to publication. Probably there will be 3 books in this series, but idk yet. It's sexy and demonic, annnnd hellish and violent. And sexy >:) enemies to lovers trope, yaddayaddayadda. If anyone is interested in being a beta reader for this actual book book and sworn to secrecy in the process, you can message me about it.

In any case, thank you kindly for your support. I love getting messages like this, it makes me feel like I'm actually doing all of this for a reason lmao

[hoghtastic]

"Thank you for your input, anon! 😊 And I'm glad you enjoy the blog, even if you don't seem to be a fan of the subject this is about. 😆 Have a wonderful day as well!"

Thank you for letting me share my opinion! I can't share it with anyone else's since I'm the only one that i know who watched vikings!

"If you were never Alex's fan then why are you here?"

If this question is for me, I was a fan of ivar (the character) during the 4th season, I think I stopped watching during season 5, which should be the season when ragnar dies, if I'm not mistaken. I never get interested in actors, I don't even know their names unless they are very famous , but I recently discovered that vikings continued with some other seasons, so I searched for spoilers on line, I came across cast's interviews on youtube, got curious about two of viking's actors behaviour, bjorn (alexander ludwig) looked high during an interview, searched on line about him, he had addiction to alcohol and substances, mistery solved in three seconds, but what's wrong with ivar's actor ( alex høgh andersen)? searched on line, I still haven't found a real answer to my question, found this blog, read the ADHD thing, but I have no idea if it explains the behaviour i saw during the interviews (I will read more about the subject), I liked the blog, in particular the chucky the doll memes, and i wrote my opinion as a former fan of ivar!

"LMAO ANON you took no prisoners"

XD no! but, to me, he was casted amazingly on vikings, BECAUSE of how he looks!! BECAUSE he is ugly and dislikeable!! and i mean it as a compliment to an actor that has a peculiar look! an actor that maybe, in the future, could be recasted the right way as a good horrible villain! as a person i don't know him of course, from what i read here and around the internet, both, he and his gf (for some reasons there are more things to read about his gf, who should be basically unknown, than about him) and from what he and his gf are trying to sell, they come off as totally negative to me, and i see very much the narcissism, and other things i very, VERY much dislike in people. Let's hope that MK, the boxing girl i read here about and you are a fan of, will break all the thick pink glasses in the world with her powerful punches!! Have a nice day again!

Anon to anons. 😊 Thank you for replying! And if you ever want to talk some more about Vikings, feel free to do so!

[imaginaryspace53]

A great review. As someone who really enjoyed Snoot-Game I ought to give Goodbye Volcano High a go. Both games are for different audiences, Snoot-Game for a crowd coming over from 4Chan, a Cis Male crowd. Relating to Anon, a shitposter/internet addict like them. And Goodbye Volcano High, which predominantly contains a LGBT+ cast, which would appeal to the LGBT+ community. I related to Anon in SG (Snoot-Game) since I'm around the same age/situation the game portrays them, at a dead end, friendless which a not so nice outlook on the future, something I think a lot of. I find Fang in SG is written as a sort of mirror to Anon, both have awful experiences in front of the school, are nihilistic, can't get new friends, get physically hurt either by self harm or falling down the stairs from the joker movie and both go to work on the garden. I think it's a shame that people see snoot game as anti-LGBT, whenever Anon misgenders Fang in the beginning on the game he gets promptly karma'd both by being screamed at and the other getting his foot stomped on. I do wish we saw more moments where Anon does correctly gender Fang since the only time I can recall it is right before Fang switches back to she/her pronouns. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ !!! Spoilers for Snoot Game ahead !!! \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ In ending 2, you lose Fang as a friend and partner. Anon, who hasn't grown in this path but just short of pushing Fang to the bottom you call them a slur. This is the 2nd worst ending, and as punishment Anon falls into the same pit that Fang ends up in. The 3rd ending has some growth for both characters, but its very much a bad ending. Oh sure you get together with your high-school sweetheart, but both of you are broken. "Lucy" relies on being a woman in the traditional sense, dressing like a "proper" woman with high-heels and a dress. She's thrown her friends, her experiences and past away for a life dedicated to being perfect, like how Naomi was written in SG. Becoming a shadow, a clone of her mother. Anon broken by war first thinks that Lucy is some enemy charging him down. He's clearly gotten PTSD from his time in the military. I don't need to talk about ending 1... Ending 4, is perfect, at least as good as it can be. Fang found her preferred Identity, a relationship with her friends even Naomi and a supportive boyfriend. Anon has made up with Trish, avoided the service, got recommended some real anime and has grown from that reclusive and isolationist shit he was before going to Volcano high.

Plus I'm pretty sure that Rosa and Stella are dating or married in this ending or at least Roommates. Snoot-Game helped me break out of my shell, connect with people, and reinforced righteousness and confidence in how I want to treat others with respect and support.

It'll be interesting to see how GBVH portrays the same characters in a different way, and I look forward to playing Goodbye Volcano High and Cavemanon's new project I Wani Hug That Gator.

I didn't think I'd write this long. lmao thanks OP

Well... i finished both snootgame and volcano high, i needed to talk a bit about them

First of all: I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS SOO MUCH, FANG I LOVE YOU I HOPE TO YOUR HAPINNESS

2:. . .jeez, it's so difficult talk about both games without making parallels or comparing them

SG is a very simpler visual novel with a... very questionable reason to exist to begin with, but even with that it surprises you with a very beutiful story of self development and young love in the modern times. The multiples endings all of them are EMOTIONAL DESTROYERS, even the obvious joke-shouting-super edgy ending 1, but just 'cause all the care and love you have for the characters, you feel it in a more deeply way and you suffer watching them like this, giving you strenght to do the best ending possible and. . .oof, that destroys you too, but in a different way

I love Fang an Anon soo much, i wish them nothing but hapinnes

And talking about the elephant in the room? Well... i don't think snoot game is anti-LGBT propaganda

"B-but it's about fang doing destransicion"

That's the take talking about SG in GVH wiki and i'm not with that

Yes, anon is openly an ashole about lgbt themes and always talked shit about it

And the game treat the whole fang(they/them) with humor. . .both of those things happens between the first hour and the bad ending

As the game progress and anon makes the RIGHT choises you can see him at least try to comprenhend the pronouns thing, and perhaps he makes mistakes about it,but he get that is something important to fang

And yes, there's an ending where fang simply leaves behind all that identity and becomes a generic femenine wife? That's not the true ending

The true ending actually respect that side of fang, with her still liking that style,style being like that, still being fang, the only thing she doesn't keep is the pronouns

To me at least, fang's story isn't just about being no-binary. But being a young person trying multipples sides of their persona and life to try and found itself, with the help of the ones who cares about them to grow as a person

Fang could be a She,a he or them, and i would be perfectly fine with any of those

But if at the end she found herself more happy in this new version. What's the problem? If precisely that's the goal with this theme right?

BUT.... snootgame have a very heavy sin to carry and is. . .it's a 4chan game, and is a parody made to make fun about an openly pro-LGBT+ game

Even with how good the story is, with how NG never attacks directly the community and the movement, it's very hard to believe there's no bit of bath fait in the people behind

We still have all this early shit-talking about this theme after all

But having all in mind. . .i just can't hate snootgame, with it short experience it turned those characters in a very big part of my life (at least for this month lol), and the story touched me in various levels 'cause personal reasons (let's just say i had a "trish" in my life)

And well. . .thank you cavemanon for this very beutiful experience, i'm hoping your next project can shine your talent even more without so much controversy around it

And talking about conteoversy....

*sigh*

Goodbye volcano high. . .with you i have less things to say but still they're important i think

First of all: its FUCKING UNFAIR what happened to this game. An openly pro-LGBT+ visual novel with "tumblr aesthetic" being the first fucking thing they show about the fucking ps5??

What the fuck

It was throwed to one of the most savage and closed-minded fandoms in all the internet: """hardcore gamers"""

And just when they're waiting to some assasins creed, GOW or any other super big HD IP with muscles in the muscles of the characters

I can't think about this choise as nothing but an homicide, forgive for the comparation but. . .this shit was taking your 8yo cousin of color to a place you KNOW is full of neo-nazis with guns and criminal precedents. You know what you're doing or you are extremely stupid

And then internet folks started all this controversy and harassement and hate to the game and the studio by a lot of sides and themes and. . .i feel so sorry for the studio and the people working in volcano high, as a snootgame fan i'm truly sorry for what you passed trought, im hope with all my heart this doesn't make you to give up this style of game, and i'll be waiting to see your next project with heart ^^

And now talking about the game. . .fuck

Fuck fuck fuck

I'm sorry,i know what i said but. . .volcano high is broken by so much sides

I really wanted to enjoy it, i really wanted to love this version of the characters and the story but. . .fuck, i can't

Almost all the characters are soo flat (personality i mean)

All and everyone of them talk about ona (1) thing that they like and never shut up about it, you can be talking about anything else and- OH here's comes trish to talk about her worm. . .again, or sage and their cooking, or fang and their band. . .i get it, they're character traits and you need to use them but... i don't know these people, i don't know at all these characters at all.

In the first hald of the game you need to at least try to tell me something about them, their relationships, their past and problems, give me a reason to give 2 and a half shit about them... and they try, but everytime they talk and seems to be about to give some context they start to just talk about that one and only thing they like, leaving me with nothing to work with

And that's the problem of volcano high in general to me. Is obvious there's a story, there's a background to these characters and there's real context to almost every conversation they have. . .but we don't know it, we can't see it, we don't KNOW these people and is frustrating. After the 2 hours i just shuted down my brain and every time this happend i just go "oh yeah,some cute experience we don't know about them)

The two musical montages (there's 2 right?) With photos of the group living their lives and interacting with each other. . .they're very cute and seems to be fun, but we don't live any of this. Fuck sake i WANTED TO BE SAD in the ending, i wanted to feel the characters and their lives sliping away at the end

See al these beutiful and impactful moments? Well. . .i'd love to see them, to live them with them

But we don't. They're just a bunch of PNGs passing by at the end as the music continues. And that upset me a lot...

And what upset's me the most. . .you know why i care so much about the characters? Why i need to know their lives and feel something in this story?

BECAUSE OF FUCKING SNOOT GAME

They made me to care about fang and the gang, abour nazer, about naomi, about stella and rosa, i cared about this characters soo much that. . .i feel attatched to the GVH ones too. Even if volcano high do close to nothing to make me care for them at this level

It's to sad and so unfair, volcano high obviously was made with a lot of heart and they OBVIOUSLY cares about the characters a lot more than almost anyone in both fandoms, just the "memories" from above show it. But with the game story and characters as they are right now. . .i don't want to compare them so much, but honestly without NG being so important i wouldn't finished volcano high

And about the story itself? Well... is very rushed to say at least

As i said earlier they spent too much time trying to made us meet the characters (but without letting us know them)

To sudenly introduce the meteorite plot and. . .it feels zero important. Yeah it drives the characters to the harsh decisions they're making and how they interact with each other, but for half the game the meteorite is just there in the background and just mentioned over here and there as a reminder. Just to sudenly be the most important thing in the world at the last hour and half of the game.

Before that all the plot is about fang,the band and the battle of the bands (wich i hardly care about at this point)

But. . .fang and the band? Here they made it a very good work

Yeah, fang talk almost exclusively about the band as is their (1) personality trait, but still they manage to make me feel and understand how important is this to them, and. . .wow, i really felt how fang was feeling reed and specially trish leaving them behind and not taking the band seriously (and still having fang at the edge with promises of being a team but without helping them AT ALL)

I mean, there's no problem with reed and trish don't seeing the band as something more than some fun friends time after school and wanting to make something else for their life. The problem is they seeing fang talking 24/7 aboud the band their future together and openly taking life decisions about it and never saying "hey pal, i think you should focus more in a solos career, we don't want to live with the music but we're still friends" or something like that. . .and they do

Trish says this to fang. . .in the battle night, just in the most important night in fang's life, just to say that she's leaving the band in this very important moment and taking choises she never discussed with fang (as fang did talk with trish about theirs)

And the story insist on pointing out fang as the bad person here, who makes all the bad choises and burn all the bridges with everyone. . .but they doesn't

Even at the end with everyone crying and yelling each other, is fang who talk to everyone and says they're a horrible person and you can blame everything on fang because. . .reasons? Idk because with all the choises and talking options we taked at this point, we clearly made fang a very patient and caring person, but still there's one and only way the story was made and was with fang being constantly a bitch with everyone, so it doesn't matter if you take the bad or good options to talk about 6 hours, the dialogues are all about the bad ones almost constantly. And that's fucked and unfair for my dude fang the pterodolphin, i love them so much

But. . .not everything is bad with volcano high

The background arts are beautiful and very colorful, a lot of cute dettails and i love them

The characters? Well. . .it's weird, i love them a lot and they're very unique, in the special images and animations they look soo good

But in the normal gameplay...

They look kinda derpy all the time, and the few animations they constantly use for everything get repetitive after a short while (take a shot everytime trish does the eyebrow rise grin animation, tell me how you died)

((Btw perrito tacita epic cameo))

The art style in general of the game is very cute and i love it, but for the in-game animations they needed some more time to make them. . .feel alive and les akward

And the music?

Hell yeah this is good shit, i love fang's voice and definitely i'm gonna check more of their music soon

In conclusion...

I can see where all of this came from, if that leaked script is real it just makes soo much sence about how the final product ended,i can see every original plot being planted as seeds in the final game but never having the chance to grow or even blossom, just a little sapling in the dirt, and that make me so sad. . .

Even with all of that,they managed to launch the game,and leaving out all the controversy i think the game got very descent sales and everything was kinda worth, i really hope they don't give up again with this type of story

But Ko_On and cavemanon are full of talented people and they deserve a chance to grow and shine by themselves

Both without being a perhaps-bad-faith parody, or without so massive backlash from the wrong people who's not are even interested in the quality but the politics in the games

I don't make this kinde or post so often,but i had to speak my mind about something so important to me

Thank you very much if you readed it 'til here and sorry for the mess,i was typing things as they apeared in my mind lmao

Check it out my art, i just recently made this piece of fang and i really loved the result ^^

[balamist]

could you please share your meditation ways? (writing to you from adhd hell)

IDK how useful what i can say about my ~meditation ways~ might be for others as i've only been practicing for 2 weeks + i work from home which allows me a lot of flexibility with hours and all that.

(Spoiler: 10/10 activity if you can commit to it, i recommend. With it i can actually get myself to do chores that i sometimes put off doing for days - like cooking, putting away dried laundry, or vacuuming.)

I meditate for 10-15 minutes right after getting up + ideally once somewhere in the middle of the day and one more time before going to bed. There are many ways to meditate (google "adhd meditation techniques" or smh similar), personally i just turn lights off, sit down in a comfy position, and focus either on my breath or on some random made up word that i don't associate with anything. Whenever i notice that i'm thinking about something else i force myself to focus on the subject of current session again.

The goal is to enter The Zone (no idea how it's officially called lol) in which i notice stray thoughts pretty much as soon as they start forming, and not when i'm already 3 minutes into an elaborate daydream. Thoughts become easy to discard. It's a genuinely addicting state of mind because your brain goes so, so quiet. You get to choose what to think about. You start noticing the world around you. Buuut i don't always manage to achieve it because i'm very easily distracted. Literally any sudden noise or physical sensation like my hand beginning to itch can get me ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ )

But even when i don't manage to enter The Zone by the end of a session meditating still has a great effect on me. For a while i can easily switch between tasks; tasks that used to feel repulsive stop being so; and cravings, obsessive thoughts, and anxiety die down.

(One thing it doesn't do though, is helping me with work that requires intellectual work. Unless i manage to enter The Zone, my ability to focus on demanding tasks remains the exact same.)

Meditating in the morning helps me to stick to my morning routine - exercise, shower, breakfast - without taking long breaks to browse the internet. I've been meditating every morning for the last two weeks and haven't broken the routine even once, which is An Achievement. Meditating mid-day helps with stuff like cleaning/cooking/shopping/whatnot, or simply tunes down anxiety if i was feeling too agitated. And meditating before sleep helps me to complete remaining small tasks that i have a habit of leaving for the next day, like washing my tea cup or putting away my clothes properly lol.

So yeah, while my experience is nowhere close to that of people who claim that regular meditation has cured their ADHD (maybe it really does after a couple of years, who know lmao) it has definitely improved my life a bit and helped me to deal with daily chores. Like i said at the start 10/10 activity, definitely give it a try ( ´•ᴗ•)ก

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

your tags 🥺 ❤️❤️❤️ honestly it's so hard to find someone who has critical thinking in the entire euphoria fandom. like, just last week- well, the last couple of weeks, actually, people have been calling cassie just the vilest thing, and even though she's done some questionable, if not outright bad, stuff, I don't think it's deserved. all in all, she's still a kid, and she was at THE LOWEST of her life when nate jacobs decided to sink his claws into her and infected her with his poison. i just think she deserves a little bit of a break.

and this week is what really got my blood boiling. like, lexi literally said in the episode she was afraid people (cassie, especially) would take her play the wrong way, while she only had good intentions. people be out there praising her for "ruining lives" while that's very much not what she intended. she said it herself, she's an observer, and she's observed all of these things, and now she's only reporting them back. i think she intended it more as a way for people to reflect on their actions and relationship, how they might look through in other people's - namely, lexi's - eyes.

do correct me if im off the mark tho. i would love to hear what you think ❤️

BESTIE!!! sorry i waited a while to respond, i didn't want euphoria tumblr to interact with me again lmao it should be quiet now though 👀

i think people start to fuck up when watching euphoria when they assume anyone is a good person. lexi knew she was being messy but deserved to vent, cassie is extremely unstable and self destructive but also not innocent, and nate is psychologically damaged and emotionally neglected, so i am begging the show to get him help at this point.

every character is abusive, and every character has been abused. cassie has been awful to people but she also had a secret abortion last season that everyone forgets about like ???

maddy apologists are my biggest issue tbh. she is a victim of a toxic relationship but she enabled a lot of anger out of nate such as lying about being sexually assaulted by an adult. she was a selfish terrible friend (especially to kat in season 1) and has been physically/verbally/emotionally abusive to multiple people, even beating up random students at school. after the incident in season 2 which i won't spell out for spoiler reasons, i am sympathetic and hope she gets the support she needs. but since season 1 there has been a LOT of support for her bad behaviour because alexa demie is gorgeous and tumblr loves a "girlboss moment" to the point i've seen takes like "well it was NATE who made her do all that bad stuff, she was just psychologically manipulated to be a mean person" as if nate could just "break up with his father" and was totally 100% responsible for his behaviour because childhood and lifelong inescapable abuse from a family member means he's too far gone to be saved. like, pick a side— are abuse victims conditioned and shouldn't be blamed for any toxic abusive actions they perform, or are they fully responsible and unfixable monsters? the true answer is neither/both but since the internet has 0 critical thinking skills, the fandom answer is to sort all the faves as innocent and the unlikeable characters as permanently damaged abusers.

like, people hate jules and always shove the "she's a slutty male-affirming cheater" identity on her every fucking second because they love zendaya and rue. there are also people who get mad at rue for being mean, self destructive, and for doing drugs, but that's literally the point of her character??? she's an addict and it's an atrocious battle that is going to harm her and result in irrational toxic decisions?

a lot of people are mad about kat this season but have missed the entire point of her segment earlier on in s2: kat still can't love herself and ethan's love feels superficial and sappy in the face of her own self worth issues. she gave ethan a shallow, blatantly false reason for breaking up with him so that he'd hate her and not say something like "i know you have self worth issues but i love you!" or "we can make this work!" because kat sees herself as undeserving of love and made it so ethan wouldn't forgive her, and therefore treat her like the monster she sees herself as. THAT is why she went back to cam work and embraced/validated the dark/taboo side of her identity she keeps tucked away: perverted appreciation is all she is worth because it's all she can process people valuing her with.

TLDR: everyone in euphoria has been hurt and have hurt other people: some more than others. the fan favouritism and cherry picking is the reason "fandom mentalities" don't work for a show like this!!! i enjoy/love every character and that doesn't mean i excuse their behaviour, but in fandom-terms it's assumed that liking someone like nate means i justify all his actions by refusing to wish death upon him and the other male characters like mckay and elliot.

ultimately, i want everyone to get the help they need even though i don't expect it to go over that way, and i will spend every other second i have actively hating the "hot takes" people have online that are just supporting female abusers and ignoring the fact that real people and three-dimensional characters are morally grey so liking a character doesn't mean they're a good person 🥴✌️

[blacktoothcomics]

*ur secular elders, especially brown and gypsy elders whether ur blooded to them or not.

don't overtax your relationships with your peers for any of the wisdom and grace we can better find in the longer lived. we all just stupid baby idiots bumping into each other for lack of love, especially if our own personal grandparents were victims of trauma and abuse and can't provide any of these things for us.

my SECULAR catholic grandpa never GAF if i wasn't baptized or was trans or autistic, he always laughed his ass off whenever i fought with the town bishop. and then he would agree with me, take me aside to explain to me and my cousins why we are secular but still engage in catholic culture, dietary restrictions et c, and keep up on migrant history and immigration policies in local and presidental policymaking.

that's right, migrant workers are in every technicality gypsies too, no matter the country they were displaced from, nor their race, nor the flavor of abrahamic cult, nor secular governing powers that (all) failed to keep them safe.

and i would really hate it if cultural catholicism was ever maligned with those fanatics in the cults building churches and hoarding riches, it would break my entire heart for our modern discourse to erase the distinction between abrahamic history and abrahamic fanaticism (toxic church fanatics are rarely brown, u ever notice that?).

if your catholicism ISN'T queer and brown and gypsypunk-foreward mission goal of socialising your town FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE ACCESS TO, yes especially homeless and addicts and the disabled and elderly and ESPECIALLY THE POORS AND REFUGEES, then that "religion" is just a fascist grift and you should probably tax that as a business, noinch.

anyway my point is this is pique "boomer" meme for a reason, as surviving brown boomers survived to meme on the internet bcos they treat elders as equals and friends with lots of support to lend to the family unit.

but no yeah no lol don't uh, don't list this as a requirements for same-age peers, cos being young is about making mistakes and getting in scuffs and we don't want to try to pressurize kids into trying to be too perfect or too full of grace before they have any actual life experiences to base any of that grace on.

cos that's howcome tumblr dot com and other webbed sites are struggling with a rise in purity culture and abusive abrahamic supremacy on display. it's just kids feeling pressure to be their own elders to each other and it suuuucks

get offline go hug an elderly neighbor lmao

[alain-mich]

With all that happening in the world (🇵🇱❤️🇺🇦) I’m just gonna sit here and rant about some petty stuff because honestly I need to get my mind off the more serious ones for a moment.

Well… I don’t know how to start it so… here are some things I’ve noticed about Beatles fandom to which I’m still pretty new.

First and foremost- why so bitter? 🤨

I’ve noticed there are quite a few people who just wanna remind us all the time how terrible the members of the Beatles actually were…

I’m not saying we should make saints out of them- no no! But being a fan and constantly looking at the dark side…? Kinda weird in my opinion. However, the worse thing than being a common killjoy is stucking in someone else’s past. I know there are people stuck in their own but stucking in the past of someone else is a whole new level.

Ok, so let’s focus on Ringo’s not-so-great deeds, because his case is best known to me (and because it is already known that John beet the wif lmao)

I’m not a biographer so long story short:

After the break up of the Beatles he became depressed, which led him into a heavy alcohol and drug abuse which resulted in the appereance of empty spots in his memory. It is no shocker those substances won’t leave your life uneffected in the long run.

Once, while drunk, Ringo beat up his wife so bad he later thought he’d killed her. That was the turning point. He got scared that he could’ve end up actually killing her and so decided to get help. Then Ringo overcame his addiction and he and Barbara are together till this day. Happy ending!

Well… kinda.

I ofcourse DO NOT believe it’s ok to beat your other half, even only once and while you’re wasted as hell. That without saying should never happen to anybody. But I also think it’s important to understand the whole issue. Ringo didn’t do that because he’s a terrible human being but because he was… ill. Yes, any addiction is an illness and from what I see on multiple occasions, many people forget about it.

But that aside. Some people on the internet like to pick on what he’s done to Barbara and say things like: ,,he should be held accountable”

Well… yes but there are few ,,buts”:

a) He’s already suffered the consequences.

b) None of us is here to held anyone accountable especially if -read the point ,,a”.

c) They both healed and moved on…

…aaand so should we. Maybe that’s just me but I believe people can improve and change.

And why on earth do we have this stupid idea that famous people are suppoused to be perfect and have no sceletons in the coupboard?? We all have!

We need to get rid of that way of thinking.

I’m not saying we should turn a blind eye on shitty things people do and don’t want justice to be served for those who deserve it BUT it can’t be the ,,angry mob” kind of justice. And I also think we should be more empathetic with each other.

Pfff… I got off topic a bit. Well, it happens.

Soooo this is just my train wreck of thoughts the Beatles fandom caused me to have.

So anyways ✌🏻❤️

[daydreamer-bby]

Withdrawal, but make it * r o m a n t i c *

Okay so the withdrawal symptoms from love addiction are no joke.

This happens every time he goes to visit his family. I get chills, migraines, nausea, the works... almost like a hangover. I am okay for the moment except that I'm not okay because he left last night around 8pm and I have yet to sleep, which is a real shame because it's half past 5am and my sleep schedule only became regular and semi-healthy again in the past week. A life long struggle in that department though, oh well.

Um but yes basically I've been shaking for the last six hours or so and I feel agitated and maybe like breaking things. The next few weeks are going to be rough as shit.

I ordered McDonald's but tried not to go too crazy since food is also a life long struggle department. I ordered a hash brown thingy, a sausage burrito, and egg McMuffin with a large unsweetened iced tea. I hate that that's 'behaving' myself lmao, but here I am, behaving.

Anyway I hate being separated from my love. He's in Charlotte now on layover, probably feeling just fine because he's not a pathetic, sappy hearted bitch like me. He left wearing a grey outfit my mama brought home for him as a gift so he'd be cozy on his flight. My mom is legit the sweetest???

I'm going to take some gabapentin and a hot shower and put on some mood music and hopefully pass tf out in the next hour or so.

I am actually shaking quite a lot so off I go.

Sure is nice having a little corner of the internet to talk to myself. I rationalize a lot of shit as I type and backspace and reword and so on.

[purplesurveys]

1131

survey by lilprincess

Approx. Time you began this survey: 6:46 on a Wednesday evening.

Describe your mood right now: Erm, a bit exhausted because I just ended a work shift; but content for the same reason. Right now I’m simply looking forward to dinner and crashing on the couch or my bed, wherever I feel like sleeping tonight.

Spell your first name without vowels: Rbn. Let’s just also remove y for this one.

Age you will be on your next birthday: 23.

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Do you believe what your horoscope says about your sign? I do not believe in astrology whatsoever.

What state/region do you live in? Somewhere in the Philippines somewhere close to Metro Manila.

Height: Like 5′1″ ish. I had a massive growth spurt in 4th grade that also ended in 4th grade, which will always be a funny story to tell people lmao. I went from being placed at the back of the class line to the front really quickly.

Do you smoke? Super occasionally. My last cigarette was like...all the way back in February last year. It was easier to hide the smell around my family before, but because my parents and siblings have mostly been staying at home in the last year it would be so easy to weed out the smell. I never feel like smoking anyway since I vape, so there’s been no reason to seek it out.

Do you drink? Yeah, sometimes socially and sometimes on my own if I wanna unwind and feel a lil buzz come through.

What's your ethnic background? Southeast Asian, specifically Filipino.

What's your religious background? Technically my ~background~ would be Catholic since I was born and baptized in that faith, but I’ve long let go of this. Excluding one very brief period in high school, religion was something I never held much belief and faith in, even if I've been taken to literally every Sunday mass for the last 23 years and even if I was enrolled in Catholic school from preschool to high school.

What's your natural hair color? Black.

What;s your natural eye color? Dark brown, almost black.

Do you have any bad habits you want to break? I do overtime work a lot but used to seldom file it on our company shift log sheet because I get shy that they must think I’m doing it just to be paid more, lol. I’m starting to file them every time I do OT though because fuck it, pay me.

Name a few of your positive habits. I like that I always find a way to meet deadlines. I like that I’m selfless, even though some would see it as a flaw. I’d rather do too much than say I never did anything at all.

Have you ever lived in a foreign country? No, the most I’ve done was travel to one for a week.

Did you vote in the Nov. 6 2012 presidential election? No because I am not American -___- The last election that took place before I was eligible was in 2010, and had I been able to vote then, I would’ve given mine to Gibo Teodoro, who I believe was the most qualified at the time.

Are you even eligible to vote? Yeah, I’ve been for the last 5 years. I’ve voted twice - once for the presidential elections back in 2016, and the next was for the senatorial elections in 2019.

Are you right handed or left handed? Right-handed.

When you write, is your penmanship usually neat or do you tend to scribble? It starts off neat for the most part, but it gradually gets messy and becomes more like a scribble if we’re talking about writing several essays in one sitting, which was usually the case in my exams in college.

Have you ever experienced an accident? (of any type): Sure, I’ve been in car accidents before. I’ve also been shocked once.

Do you have/want children? They would be nice to have, yeah. 

Are you environmentally conscious? For the most part, yeah. But there are some things that can’t be helped, like me driving. Unless the government does something about the shitty public transport system that we have and have had for decades, I refuse to take it.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? Like I said, my own car. If I’m traveling, by plane.

Do you prefer 80's - 90's music compared to today's music? Eh, not at all. I prefer music produced these days.

Are you more of an introvert (quiet/shy), or extrovert (social butterfly)? I’ve been more of an extrovert in the last few years but I will always be shy at first upon meeting new people, like that will never change. I warm up a lot quickly now, though.

What's your favorite emoticon? :)

Do you miss the good old days of hand-written letters? I caught the super super super last part of this era, so I didn’t even get to experience it. I know snail mail was still kind of a thing when I was a kid, but at the same time that was happening my mom was also already using email to keep in touch with my dad, so.

Nowadays, though, when I do write letters to loved ones, I will still prefer to make handwritten ones, especially for a significant other or best friend. I don’t think I’ve ever sent out a computerized long letter.

Do you enjoy receiving or giving more? Giving, but it’s nice to be treated too sometimes.

Are you good at keeping secrets? Sure.

Do you take or give advice more often? I don’t usually get into situations wherein I’d have to do either, but I think I’ve been asking for advice more, especially over the last few months.

Do you have your driver's license? “I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always talked about...” Haha this question made me sing a bit. Anyway, yeah, I got it shortly after I turned 18 since I needed to quickly learn before college started.

Would you rather be poor & happy or rich but miserable? Rich but miserable. Soz but I’d solve 4854983594857 of my problems if I never had to worry about money.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Never.

Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Probably not blocked, but I’ve unfollowed some current Facebook friends and unfriended others entirely.

Do you think recreational marijuana should be nationally legalized? Idk much about the topic since it’s taboo enough where I live, but sure, I guess?I haven’t heard one bad word about the effects of marijuana.

Describe your perfect first date. I’ve never really had a first date, but I imagine an ideal one would be pretty lowkey, just a stroll around a nice city and maybe have fancyish dinner somewhere.

Have you ever been high? Nope.

Have you ever watched a NC-17 rated film? Sure. A good handful of Kubrick films pass for NC-17, right? I’d be surprised if they weren’t, lol. I’ve been scarred by some of them for sure.

If you ever become reincarnated as an animal, what would you want it to be? A dog.

Do you remember where you were/what you were doing on September 11, 2001? No; I was 2 years old. I did ask my parents where they were in those moments, and my mom understandably missed most of it since the entire thing unfolded in the late evening in the Philippines. The only thing she can recall was being insanely worried for my dad, who had just started to work in the US back then.

Do you ever wish you were of a different nationality/religion? Yeah, to a certain extent, just because the political and socioeconomic situation here is very messy and it doesn’t really give us the nicest reputation in front of the world. I’m proud of my Filipino culture and heritage though.

Are you more of a junk food addict or health nut? Health nut is the last thing anyone should be calling me. But I’m not so much a junk food addict either? I do like spoiling myself with food, but I still monitor my intake.

Do you believe Antarctica should be considered the 7th world continent? Isn’t it already though?? We’ve always been taught there were 7 continents and Antarctica is one of them lol.

Describe your own sense of humor in 1 word: Gen-Z, if that counts as one word.

Have you ever quoted the Bible (or any other Holy Book)? If I ever did it was probably meant to be sarcasm.

Have you ever completed a Sudoku puzzle? No. Never figured out how to play it either.

Would you rather be a nuclear physicist or marine biologist? Marine biologist. That’s one step closer to one of my loves, biology. Plus I was never any good with physics, so.

Do you have a deep, dark secret you're hiding from every one? I guess.

Would you rather be able to soar like an eagle or swim like a dolphin? I’d make my childhood self happy and go with flight.

If you wanted to learn a foreign language, what would it be? Korean so I can finally stop reading subs, hahah.

Are you bi-curious? No.

Did you watch the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon more as a kid? The Nickelodeon cartoons were far more interesting to me. I think I only got into Disney when I got a little bit older, once I was able to appreciate the more mature content in shows like The Suite Life, That’s So Raven, etc. But for the most part our TV was always tuned into Nick Jr., Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron and the other Nick shows.

Name 5 films that were made the year you were born: American History X (great watch), The Truman Show, Mulan, La Vita e Bella if I’m not mistaken (one of my faves, no matter how gut-wrenching it is), and Shakespeare in Love.

Did you have a lot of friends in high school? Yes, eventually I did.

Do you rely more on the newspaper, Internet or TV as your news source? Social media these days since I find that online writers are far more discerning in their reporting than TV anchors, who stay neutral at best.

True or false: Bigger is better. Very vaguely put, but not always, I guess.

Do you think religion is the primary cause of war? No? There’ve been plenty other reasons for war.

What's your favorite pizza topping? ...Cheese.

Think of your wardrobe. What color do you wear the most? It’s still black, I think.

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Just once, on a middle school field trip. I’d love to come back, though.

Do you feel like you connect more with animals or other people? I don’t get to be with animals a lot other than my dogs, so I’ll go with people.

Do you feel like sometimes you have to lie in order to protect yourself? Wow so dramatically put haha but yeah, I suppose it does feel that way sometimes.

How often do you exercise? Literally never. I’ve stopped working out this year since I didn’t see the point, and I’ve stopped feeling like I had to ‘get back’ at my ex just by getting a more toned figure. I’m totally at peace with how my body looks, plus I never want to give up on my favorite foods and snacks lol so there’s that.

Can you swear in a different language? Putangina mong bobo kang gago ka. That’s three for ya.

Do you think teachers/doctors deserve to get paid more than pro athletes? Everyone deserves to be paid fairly to the point that no comparison should be necessary, period.

From a scale of 1- 5, you would rate this survey: Erm, a 4.5. I had to delete some questions I didn’t feel comfortable answering or that I found a little meh, but the rest I fairly enjoyed.

Do you think most of these questions were more original or more ordinary? It’s a bit in between.

Approx. time you completed this survey: Hahahahah 10:38 PM. I took a million breaks.

[weyheyjxlya]

Ｔｉｍｅｌｅｓｓ

*•.¸♡ pairing: asahi azumane x reader

*•.¸♡ genre: sfw | fluff | a lil angsty (hehe) | wc: 2.3k

*•.¸♡ prompt : Amnesia

*•.¸♡ warning: anterograde amnesia | blind panic attack | fist fight | a little cursing

*•.¸♡ a/n : so henlo! been so busy recently but I promise! I’ll continue where I left off You’re Back. so this is my second time writing for a prompt for the server collab of Haikyuu Headquarters. this is a hard one and it is expected to be long so this will have two parts. also, I created a playlist for this in spotify so listen to it as well. so ya, I hope u enjoy this mi lovely people.

also, I just reached 100 and I’m crying because this is a milestone for me. I did not ever expected that I would write for tumblr and here I am enjoying it. so omg thank you very much minna!! ilysm!! <3

[♬• playlist •♬]

part I | part II

Life never felt so good every time you are talking to this specific person over the internet. May it take minutes or hours, error messages, internet connection problems, etc. You both never failed to stall conversations. It's like the world revolved around the two of you. You two found each other's presence like it's the most precious thing in the world. Hands may get tired from making the keys clack and eyes may hurt from looking at the screen for a long time but it's all worth it. Every single word you receive from each other is worth it. It may seem addictive to the eyes of other people but for the two of you, it's like a heaven-sent gift. Both of you are hopeless romantics. Both of you are each other's shoulder when problems set foot into your lives. You found comfort in each other, a loving comfort that made the both of you yearn for each other. Yearning for each other while slowly realizing that the two of you are already falling into the depths of love together. That should've been the case already but there's one thing. One thing that' stopping both of you. Real names and real faces. Recognizing each other by only your original created avatar and usernames made the love stop its way into the battlefield. You don't recognize each other genuinely, doubt, and fear still in place between the two of you. Therefore, one day you both agreed to take it to another level. You both decided to finally meet one another.

02 | 11 | 2018

depressed_epiphany: ha! u got me there

insouciance_flower: well, that's how smart I am lmao

depressed_epiphany: but hey, let's take this to another level. how bout we meet next week?

insouciance_flower: so eager to see my beauty huh?

depressed_epiphany: you disgust me. but how bout the hamaya isobashi next town? I wanna try their foods so badly

insouciance_flower: deal! 7:30 pm it is?

depressed_epiphany: oh yes it is! see you!

insouciance_flower: see you <3 (ew)

02 | 18 | 2018

"Ma, do I look good?" you asked for affirmation as you twirl around in front of the mirror while admiring the frills upon the ends= of your dress

Excitement made its way upon your whole system as today is the day that you'll be seeing the other person that you've been talking for months with. Despite the animosity, you've found tranquility in the hands of the guy with the username "dxpressed_epiphany". For the whole day of wondering, you've been wondering about what's his name, age, height, personality. Is he the same in person or he's just nothing like when he's online. You've been worried about those pieces of information throughout the waiting process for this day to come. What if you wouldn't like each other after meeting up? That would be devastating, you thought. But despite all of those unending thoughts, you've decided to just let it be and go with the flow then walked your way to the driveway to fetch your car.

With trembling hands, you hopped into your car and started it. As you go out of the driveway, your resolution becomes firmer.

"Don't be nervous now Y/N," you scolded yourself

As you got further away from your house, your speed also accelerated. The restaurant's a bit too far from yours so that's why you've decided to drive there an hour earlier, so if in case of loss you can still find your way back again to the right track.  As time pass, roads are getting darker and less crowded. Trees and open fields filled your peripheral view. As the sun makes its way down to exchange places with the moon, your eyes wholeheartedly admired its beauty and followed it, forgetting for a while that you're driving. Just as you put your eyes back on the road, you've noticed that you're going towards the end of the road. So you reflexively stomped on the breaks and shakingly took the wheel and forcefully steered it which made your car turn 360 for plenty of times until you...

~~~

05 | 18 | 2018

"Pa, what am I doing here in this hospital bed?" you asked

"Oh thank God!" your parents sighed as they hug you together tightly as if they lost you

"What am I still lying here for? I'm supposed to be having a date today," you've mentioned

08 | 17 | 2018

As months passed, after being stood up by the girl that he had been hoping for. He received no replies after that day. The program where they had been talking to got out-of-date. And those lead Asahi to who he is right now. Negativity got its way on his system, even if Sugawara karate chops the negativity out of him. He thought there's no way in hell that he'll ever be able to be in a proper relationship anymore. Asahi got into various kinds of relationships and got off with it in just a short time. He thought that there's something wrong with him.

"Why are you still in my mind insouciance flower?" he wondered as he skims through his finished business in his laptop

"Please let me go," he agonized as that day left a mark on his heart that made all of his hopes flew away with the wind. He is certain that that girl would be the one once they would meet. That incident left him in a devastating state as he waited hours for her to arrive in the restaurant. His heart broke and contacted Suga and Daichi later that night as he drank his sorrows away at the nearest pub that they can get laid off to.

As he reviewed all of his thoughts, he came up with a thought of finally letting go with all of his yearnings and hopes that he could once again talk to and meet her for once, even if it's just a coincidental event. He has decided to repeat that day, to do all the things that they were supposed to do, and to go to the place where they're supposed to meet. It's more of a pilgrimage just so he could let go of the sorrow that he had been feeling ever since.

08 | 18 | 2018

Asahi wore the same attire that he wore on that specific date. While readying himself up inside the car, hands are shaking as he grabs the handle of his car as he went down and tidied his clothes as he walked into the restaurant where they're supposed to meet.

Fingers fiddling with the buttons of his cuff links, nervousness crept its way into his system as he recognized some servers that had seen his terrible state from the last 6 months. He came a little later than the actual time that they've agreed together. Eyes scanning throughout the restaurant as he subtly hoped for the last time that he would encounter a coincidental event where he could meet her for once.

~~~

As Asahi continued to scan around the whole restaurant, one subject caught his eyes. It's a lady, alone, has been circling her wine glass ever since, and has been circling her pasta with a fork and made portions of it as she successfully twirled it into mini pyramids of pasta.

He didn't noticed that he had looking at her for quite a while now and got snapped back to reality when he saw the lady stood up from her seat and started walking towards his table, in which he doesn't know because he flinched and returned his gaze over his food. Fear came into him when he felt someone poking him from behind but he slowly turned his head and...

"Hi! Are you my date for today?" you innocently asked the lone guy as you wore your wonderful dress that has the frill that you've wasted your time with as you admire how pretty it is made

"Hi I'm sorry, but I don't think so" he gulped as he continued focusing on his food because your face is too divine to look at it much further

"Oh sorry for disturbing you then," you replied with a courteous smile as you go back to your seat

Thirty minutes have passed since the time that you should've left. Also, you've noticed that the lone guy had been alone for a while, who's just there, aloof and lost in his sight. Devastated, you nonchalantly walked over to him.

"Hi! mind if I just take the other seat?" you inquired

"Sure," he replied and right away, you asked for assistance to transfer your tables from yours to his and started conversing the night away.

~~~

"I've had a great time. Can I see you tomorrow as well Asahi-san?" you asked

"Yes Y/N, same time and place right?" Asahi giddily confirmed

"Yes, see you tomorrow then!" you giggled as you walked out first from the restaurant

Asahi never felt happier as he paid for his bill because for once he forgot his purpose for revisiting this place. He became certain that he finally would get to let go of the insouciance flower.

"Hi, Sir!! Thank you for finally making her enjoy and smile for this night. She had been here for 6 months already but still, thank you!" the staff at the counter thanked wholeheartedly

"You're welcome?" Asahi replied as he can't register what's inside the all of the sudden gratitude of the staff but he just brushed it off and started walking towards the car

08 | 19 | 2018

"Hi, Y/N!!" Asahi blurted as he walked towards your direction

"Uhh hello? I'm sorry but I don't think I know you?" you replied as you wondered how did this guy get to know who you are. You've thought for a moment that this stranger just saw your name from a name tag or something, so you've checked yourself and your table if there's any but there's none. How did this guy even got your name?

"Uhm but we just talked yesterday, we even got to agree to meet here again after yesterday," he mentioned while you noticed that he shakingly fiddles with his fingers

"I'm sorry, but as long as I can remember, I was picking out a dress with my mom yesterday. Don't you think you're just mistaken?" you justified

"But what just happened yesterday? I know I'm not mistaken, it's you. I remember perfectly just how beautiful you are," he replied

"Hi, I appreciate the compliment but the thing that I don't appreciate is flirting with someone I just met," you replied with a straight face

"But," he replied, and before he gets to explain himself more staff that he recognized from 6 months ago approached him and dragged him out of the restaurant.

~~~

"Hi, sir! I've heard that my staff yesterday thanked you but I want you to please dismiss it and I hope you just don't meddle with Y/N-chan anymore. She's a special case. So please sir! could you please just stop it here." the staff that looked like the head one pleaded and bowed

"I'm very sorry to hear about that but I just can't. Before I would give you a yes to your request if you could just please explain to me why she's a special case?" Asahi begged as his hopes are being crushed furthermore

"Well if that's the only way to stop you. Everyone in this restaurant and the community knows about her case. Y/N-chan has anterograde amnesia meaning she cannot create new memories right from the event when the accident happened. So after she sleeps the night off, all memories from today will be erased. So every day she always thinks that it's still Sunday and she has a date for tonight. It's the same routine for 3 months now, she had the accident 6 months ago and they've mentioned that she has a date in this restaurant back from that day. But on the way here, the accident happened. So to prevent her from knowing everything and to blind panic, her family mentioned to us to just don't mind her when she's doing the same routine every single day,"

"6 months ago right? can you please provide me what Sunday that day is and the time that she usually goes here," Asahi pleaded as he's realizing something from the sudden shock of tonight's event

"Yes, it's February 18, the year of 2018. She mentioned that she goes here one hour early from the actual time of her date to prevent her from getting lost so it's 6:30 pm" the staff answered

"I think I got all the details that I need. Thank you very much!" Asahi thanked the staff wholeheartedly but got his heart to soften as he believed and realized one thing. It was you. You are insouciance_flower. The one that he had been waiting for. The one that he loved dearly over the animosity. So that is the reason why he forgot things yesterday because you had met his vibes and taste. It is you.

Asahi blankly walked to his car and drove home as this sudden news hit him so bad. His heart was filled with guilt. Blaming himself why you got involved in an accident.

The idea of giving up from meeting you came to him once, but he persisted. Persisted to make it up to you. He absorbed Sugawara's words from 5 years ago that he needs to get rid of that "negative goatee" in himself. He would do everything to meet you up every night so that he could fulfill that agreement that you two made before you got into that accident. He would do everything even if every single day and effort would be disregarded as you'll soon as you sleep and forget about it. That is his resolution and will be his only resolution to make it up to you.

Meanwhile. back from the restaurant. The head staff contacted your parents as this sudden threat to their daughter came.

[plastography]

Wait, how is it anyones fault that John didnt love his wife anymore and asked for divorce? Isnt that a thing people do when they Are unhappy in a marriage. Sometimes its the right thing to do, even if it hurts the other person. Would you rather they stayed married while John wasnt happy,just because Anna loved him? Also, he doesnt own her anything for being with him, when he was addicted.

And seriously he may not even be dating this new chick, but even if he was? It is normal to move on from divorce, especially if you are the one asking for it, because you felt unhappy and fell out of love.

To claim John hates woman seems unreasonable, And the same goes for the "He built his career on Anna" He Is one of the best comedian And you think Its because of his wife and not his talent? Give me a break

this whole ask is putting words in my mouth lmao. if they’re unhappy, then obviously i’m glad theyre not together anymore. say the cheating rumours are false, and i actually believe they are, its still a shitty thing to be dating someone else less than three months after divorcing your wife of six years, especially when they have stuck by you with something as difficult as addiction. its very clear she’s been blindsided by it.

and yeah, he did build his career on anna. he built his career on the “i love my wife” jokes, stories about his wife, etc. sure, he’s a talented comedian, but if the internet didnt eat him up as the “untouchable soft guy” he’d have nothing more than a mediocre career. i’m pissed off at him because i thought better of him, and i think we all did, but he’s currently going through a shitty time, and is going to make some shitty decisions, but it doesn’t mean he’s exempt from criticism.