#brat diet Forest Lake

[twistednuns]

August 2019

India // It’s incredibly hard to sum up my feelings about India and Nepal. It was a truly incredible trip. And so exhausting. It was enriching, interesting, hard, disgusting, educational, everything. This is not the place to talk about my experience at length so I’ll just write down some nice moments I collected along the way //   

on the go // the huge corner toilet at MUC airport departures / Rischart coffee / the smell of the Emirates airline NOIR lotion they offer in their bathrooms / cherry-flavoured Skittles //    Delhi // brightly painted buses and tuk-tuks / eating at AB veg restaurant in Hauz Khas, inredibly delicious and cheap / being lucky enough to choose the hostel in Hauz Khas village; meeting Dominique, Christie, Ayush, Samar and Julia / all those talks we had about linguistics, education systems, the future, politics, travelling, home, friends, experiences with magic mushrooms, Hannah Arendt, travelling (…); talking to Christy about her past, family, criminal record / Mosambi juice / Nici constantly flirting with me, trying to seduce me. She told me I’m posh, assertive, regal and I know myself very well. Making out with her was fun but honestly… not worth the drama. / Mosambi juice / a consultation with a renowned Ayurveda doctor - I loved talking to her even though she wasn’t able to tell me anything I hadn’t known already; sometimes it’s nice to get the confirmation that what you found out on your own is exactly the right thing / eating momos and Kathi rolls, the best Thalis / parties on the rooftop until the sunrise interrupted us; grilling whole fish, saying goodbye to Julia, singing along to Louise Attaque and Cher songs / riding rickshaws through Delhi; extra fun: squeezing 5 people in and listening to club music / the sheets smelling chalky with a hint of grape sugar / dancing at Raasta / petting cute street doggies / a cooking class with Mansi and her family in North Delhi - delicious food and really nice people, I fell in love with the mum / eating at Social (that building is just amazing) and strolling through the little alleys and stores at Hauz Khas village with Christie; she showed me the place where she got her linnen dresses and we talked to a jewellery store owner for quite a while / the spice market, climbing up a building and watching the men flying their kites, tasting some street food and spices, realiszing that there is a market street dedicated to a single group of things like the shoe market, the jewellery market etc. / the Brit Brats sharing their joints; tripping to Bayonne / the hidden merchant streets with colourful wall art around the entrances / PANEER (!) / stand-up comedy with a female comedian / elevator selfies / learning about the development of Indian scripts and letters/characters in Sanskrit in the National Museum; erotic sculptures, very detailed paintings depicting badass, tiger-hunting ladies / I saw a peacock. Cows, chipmunks, pigs, horses, monkeys, goats, guinea pigs, bunnies, cats and dogs, bats, herons, boars, caterpillars, centipedes, horses, donkeys (…) / finding the perfect triangular earrings with gemstones at the Dilli Haat market; getting some nice dresses, too / living on water and mango juice, feeling very light and clean, having an empty stomach all the time / Gandhi Smriti, retracing Mahatma’s last steps before his assassination / feeling human again after a few days in bed - I love the power of make-up, bananas, fresh clothes and those pink little Pepto-Bismol pills the Canadian lady gave me / Delhi central station; just WOW. It’s places like that which make you realise just how many people there are in India. //   

Rishikesh // the man helping me with the bus to Rishikesh; the kindness of strangers / “I thank the Lord for the people I have found” (Elton John - Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters) / emotional bus rides: crying for no reason, letting go, for the first time in a very long time; emotional turmoil, softening up; leaving people and whole countries behind / seeing the huge Shiva ceremony at the Ganges from the bus / my yoga teacher training, getting to know the other students / learning about a magic trick against bad posture / instant karma / the view from the rooftop, watching the sunrise over the lower Himalaya mountains / the simple, vega, ayurvedic food they offered at the ashram / visiting the temples with the apprentice yogi and his scooter; walking up 13 stories in the blazing sun, receiving a blessing and some red string around my wrist; taking part in the Ganga ceremony at sunset / the Beatles Ashram; it’s just this amazing place with incredible street art, and those ruins, the meditation caves and eggs on the rooftop… climbing up there was one of my highlights in Rishikesh / close second: visiting a meditation cave at the Ganges, a bit further up in the mountains; a monk had spent 15 years in that cave practising meditation / all the beautiful shops around town focussing on yoga accessoires / putting my feet in the Ganges #blessed #moksha / learning about my aggression during silent yoga / all the animals around town: horses, donkeys, cows, monkeys and whatnot //   

Varanasi // taking the night train for the first time; I shared my little compartment with a family and three little children but they were surprisingly dramafree and actually quite cute / a sunset boat trip on the Ganges, seeing the ghats, the ceremonies, the moon rise / the little alleys behind the ghats; the stores, the surprises / Marnikarnika Ghat was really impressive; it’s the cremation place and I saw dead bodies for the first time / accidentally discovering the Dirty Chai Cafe (chocolate peanut butter shakes and fresh, cold mint lemonade), finding a Kamala Das poetry book on the shelf / spending an afternoon with the German journalist (so weird how the atmosphere shifts when you’re accompanied by a man there; also our dynamic made me feel so glad to be travelling alone, to only be responsible for myself, to be independent); sharing a banana and water surrounded by goats in Hanuman Ghat; the view over the river from his room; him gently stroking my cheekbone / buying two saris in a little corner shop / my jewellery quest (unsuccessful) / eating fresh fruit salad after hardly eating solid food for days / checking out that little park on my last day, the air buzzing with dragonflies / watching the sunset from the hostel’s rooftop, filming a slow motion video / India brings out trauma and deep emotions; the people kept staring at me for whatever reason; I kept having disturbing dreams about my dead father and grandmother; and the mob-video Christy showed me didn’t help either (the whole village carried a man through the streets, eventually beating him up because he couldn’t pay off his debts) //   

Nepal // the first view of Nepal from the bus windows - how much greener, how much emptier it is than India / meeting some nice people on the bus - an American, a Brit and two Frenchies; grabbing dinner in Kathmandu with the latter / watching the sunrise at the border between India and Nepal / sitting next to the mayor of small town council on the bus ride; communicating with hand and feet / the Kathmandu valley is such a gorgeous sight / I got lucky with my hostel; Yakety Yak was a really nice and quiet place to stay; they even had laundry service and a shelf with free books - I read two or three of them because I behaved like a good (home)sick German abroad: bed, Haribo, carbonated water, trashy literature / visiting Bhaktapur, a gorgeous small town in the Kathmandu valley / watching the latest Tarantino movie at the cinema; the tickets were incredibly cheap / walking up the hill to the temple and the monastery, enjoying the incredible view over the surrounding hills; meeting two ladies from Austria, they live close to my old university town; walking to the centre through back alleys, stopping at a rooftop cafe, ordering three drinks at once (liquid diet) / that one jewellery store near the Pokhara bus station - I found some gorgeous brass rings with precious stones for little money / the busy square, the markets / hanging out in the hammock in my hostel in Pokhara, overlooking the lake / watching the skydivers land / the ayurvedic cafe and the other place serving smoothie bowls by the lake - it’s such a fantastic moment when you finally feel hungry again and eat a little solid food after fasting/suffering for a few days / two incredibly weird guys from Latvia and Berlin who provided a nice, mellow ending for my shitty day and even made me survive the mosquito attacks / meeting my travel agent who actually took me out dancing and gave me a ride on his motorcycle to the bus stop; he even gave me some fruit for the ride / By the Way starting to play while waiting for Vietnamese food / hunting down a place that sells semi-precious stone columns in Kathmandu; negotiating with the old lady selling them; getting some brass souvenirs for my friends and family / the view from the airplane - seeing the Himalaya for the first time; I pity people who’ve stopped looking out of windows //   

Coming home. I’ve NEVER felt happier entering my apartment after a trip. Being alone. Truly alone. Silence. Three rooms just for me. My bed. Having all my stuff back. Toiletries! Nice body lotion. My favourite perfume. Going to the supermarket. Unpacking all the jewellery, clothes and knick-knacks I bought. Taking care of my plants.   

Making a huge batch of my favourite ratatouille / pasta sauce.   

Visiting Manu in hospital. Cheering him up a little bit.   

Finally receiving my black and white analogue photos. I loved the shot of Andre looking like he’s being kissed by a dementor. And Lexi looking dead cool at ADBK.   

Pizza party at Grano with Lena. Eating sorbet out of a lemon.   

Riding my bike through the forest on a sunny morning. Stopping to take pictures of the beautiful light, the yellow flowers. Spending too much money at the garden center. Driving home, IKEA bags full of plants.  

 Inventing my signature manicure: a little black dot just above the nailbed.   

Having an evening beer outside at Sofa So Good with Andre.   

Stumbling upon Konsti. The one who ghosted me years ago after a beautiful summer spent kissing in lakes because his therapist had told him so. Well, we talked for a few days, but guess what - he just ghosted me for a second time. Fool me one - shame on you. Fool me twice - shame on me.

[myaekingheart]

57. Shinobi Guidebook: The Basics of Being a Ninja

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3

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               Rule number one: Never let your guard down. This was the first of many proverbial guidelines Chikara had presented to her young pupils. Their first mission involved escorting a nobleman across the Land of Fire to a small seaside town where he had business. It was a seemingly simple mission but with the Third Great Ninja War roaring outside of Konoha’s walls, any assignment had the potential for danger. It was this fact that Rei kept in the back of her mind always as she prepared her things for the trip.

               Hana watched with teary eyes as her daughter closed up her backpack and then sucked in a deep breath. “Please stay safe, sweetheart” she croaked, forcing a smile. “If anything were to happen to you, I’d—”

               “Mom” Rei interrupted, “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?” It wasn’t until after the question fell from her lips that she realized she never should’ve asked it to begin with. She could see the composure in her mother’s face beginning to slip even further, her mind racing with worst-case scenarios. Rei hugged her tight, bid a brief farewell to her apathetic father, and then met Grandma Teiko at the door.

               “Stay safe out there, girl” she said, grasping her granddaughter’s hands tightly. “Remember, this is only the beginning.” She kissed Rei’s forehead and then sent her on her way.

               Rei’s eyes darted to the house next door and a grin spread across her lips. She hadn’t had a chance to tell Kakashi yet but she couldn’t wait for when she did. They had started to grow so distant in the years following his father’s death, but his kindness to her still overpowered whatever metamorphosis their relationship had been facing. He believed in her when hardly anyone else did. He encouraged her despite her parents’ protests and assured her that she would be a great ninja. As she made her way to the village gates, she envisioned running up to him and wrapping her arms around him in a big hug, screaming with joy over her accomplishment. He would hug her back and congratulate her, maybe they would even bake a cake together to celebrate, stuffing messy slices into their mouths as they sat by the lake at sunset. They would laugh until their sides hurt and run through the muggy summer air. It would be just like old times. Pure bliss.

               Rei was the last of the squad to arrive at the gates, signaling a very disgusted expression from their client. “This is who you’ve been waiting for?” he asked. He leaned down to poke at Rei’s chubby cheeks and assess her outfit. “She’s a child!”

               Rei grimaced up at him and swatted his hand away. “I may be a child but I can still kick your butt!” she insisted. If she had known she would be belittled, she likely never would’ve come. Her first mission was certainly getting off to a very bad start.

               A chuckle broke past Sekkachi’s lips. “Are you even sure you’re tall enough to reach his butt?” she asked. Rei then turned her glare to her comrade, who appeared seemingly unaffected.

               The merchant man shook his head and frowned. “I’m sorry, but I thought I was hiring real shinobi to accompany me, not a group of bickering little girls!”

               Chikara crossed her arms and cocked a brow. “I’m sorry but do you have a problem with little girls being far more capable than you?” she asked, a sickening smile touching her lips. The man stammered but no comprehensible words made it past his lips. The group departed, and he said hardly a word for the entire first three hours of the trip. If only the same had been true for everyone.

               The issue, as Chikara soon discovered, with travelling alongside three prepubescent girls was that they never shut up. Not only did they never shut up, but they never stopped quarreling, either.

               “…and he never even made it past genin—how pathetic is that? I mean, I guess with a fashion sense like that, it only makes sense for you to be a little dense but…” Naru rambled on, as if she knew anything about what she was talking about. “He and his son look exactly the same, and I honestly don’t expect him to get very far as a ninja, either! I mean, if you ask me, I don’t think anyone who can’t use ninjutsu or genjutsu should even be accepted into the academy. Nip in the bud before you get too far down the line! Then they won’t go around thinking they have as good a chance as everyone else to become ANBU level ninja.”

               Rei restrained an awkward laugh and nodded. “I mean, I guess if his taijutsu is good enough then there’s a chance but, I mean, I don’t know, I guess you’re right.”

               “Of course I’m right!” Naru nodded definitively, “I’m always right.” Sekkachi rubbed her temples and chewed on her lower lip as she listened to her comrade speak. Chikara could see the temperature gauge inside of her rapidly rising. The merchant man looked to each of them expectantly, feeling very out fo place in the audience of this strange encounter. Naru rambled on. “Honestly, I can’t say I’m totally surprised, either. With fashion sense like theirs, it’s no wonder they’re all a little dense. If I didn’t know any better, I’d even question whether or not this kid was gay! I mean, you can’t possibly walk around in a green jumpsuit like that and be totally straight, it’s just impossible.”

               For some reason, something about Naru’s words suddenly struck the last nerve in Sekkachi. Her hands felt tingly and her heart rate started to pick up. Every thought and memory and pondering in her mind went haywire. She no longer had control. Fists clenched, she finally snapped. “What makes you think you know anything about it?” she exploded. “Since when are the authority on everyone else in Konoha, huh? As if you know everything! You’re only a genin!”

               Naru coolly replied, “Don’t act so superior, Sekkachi. You’re only a genin, too, remember? We all are.”

               “Well, I certainly don’t plan on staying that way” Sekkachi growled. She was beginning to pick up the pace, soon growing further and further ahead of the others. “So what if he can only do taijutsu? I was unaware that other people’s abilities affected your existence, Naru. As far as I’m concerned, that doesn’t make him any less of a ninja than anyone else. I bet he could make it all the way into the ANBU on just that alone if he really wanted to. I bet he’d be great. I bet he’d leave everyone else in the dust.”

               The blonde smirked and brushed her hair back out of her face. “Statistically speaking, most ninja who can’t do anymore than taijutsu aren’t even considered for the ANBU as far as I’m concerned. I doubt he would get that far even with luck on his side.”

               As the two of them bickered back and forth, Rei glanced to each of her comrades with great uncertainty before finally gazing up at her sensei. There was an expression of panic in her eyes and Chikara noticed her digging under her fingernails anxiously. She truly had no choice. She would have to intervene.

               “Enough!” she shouted. Her booming voice was enough to shake an entire forest free of its leaves. Naru and Sekkachi paused momentarily, glancing back at her but deep down had no real intention of stopping. Chikara stalked forward and grabbed the two of them by the backs of their shirt collars, pulling them to her side. “I didn’t agree to this just to babysit two whiny brats, you know. If you’re going to act like children, however, then you ought to be treated like children. Keep it up and neither of you will get past genin, either. I’ll send you right back to Konoha with no compass and then you’ll really wish you hadn’t pissed me off.”

               Rei’s heart pounded at the thought of it, and she wasn’t even the one in trouble. Still, she was fully aware that they were no longer enveloped in the protective sphere of their village. If they were to be abandoned by their own sensei out in the wilds, they would be labeled as rogue shinobi and likely eaten alive by whatever godawful beasts lurked in the night. They didn’t stand a chance.

               Come sunset, they stopped and set up camp for the night in a secluded meadow. Sekkachi started a fire despite protest that it would probably attract enemy-nin to their camp, to which Chikara offered up another morsel of advice.

               Rule number two: when engaging in escort missions, it is the only hospitable option to offer a proper meal to guests.

               As far as she was concerned, clients were far more fragile than shinobi were and therefore couldn’t handle the same rugged parameters. And so makeshift dinner it was. Naru elected to do the cooking, stirring together basic forage foods to create some sort of mismatched ninja stew. It smelled mildly strange and unnerving, and would likely taste just as much, but at least it was something. Once finished, Naru grinned proudly at her meal and encouraged everyone to dig in. Sekkachi was the first to reply.

               “Nope, not happening” she said, raising her hands in surrender.

               Chikara furrowed her brows, displeased. “If not this, then what will you eat?”

               “Anything that isn’t going to kill me” Sekkachi replied. “Which, if I’m smart, will be nothing at all.”

               Their sensei was not impressed. “Do you think not eating makes you come off cool and unaffected, Sekkachi?” she asked. “Do you think not eating will benefit you in any way, shape, or form in the field?” The young kunoichi rolled her eyes and clenched her jaw. This was one of many things she did not want to get into. Chikara, however, continued onward.

               Rule number three: a shinobi must live an active and healthy lifestyle in order to be in top physical condition for their career. This includes eating a balanced diet with three meals a day plus snacks and training often to increase stamina, strength, agility, and ability.

               As Chikara rambled onward about health and wellness, Sekkachi was beginning to yet agan lose her grip. Before her sensei could even finish her sentence, she exploded. “Can you just get off my back?!” Sekkachi shouted. The entire group went silent. Huffing like an angry bull, Sekkachi clenched her fists and turned her gaze to each of her comrades. “I don’t understand what the big deal is. If I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to eat, so back off!” And with that, she stormed off into the woods to blow off some steam.

               Naru and Rei looked to one another awkwardly, unsure of how to move forward in the wake of such an outburst. The merchant man shoved large bites of food into his mouth—anything to avoid the massive tension—then said in a muffled tone, “Well, I think the food is splendid.”

               Chikara met his gaze with an apologetic expression. This really was becoming an absolute disaster, and deep down it was killing her to know she was failing at her job. But now was not the time to dwell. Something had to be done. Rising from her seat, she sucked in a deep breath and instructed her remaining students to stay on guard while she went and tracked down Sekkachi. Genin she may be, but this was likely her first time out of the village and therefore she needed to be monitored. Chikara refused to lose one of her students on the very first assignment solely because she was careless.

               Nobody ever knew for certain what was said that night between the two of them but when Chikara returned with Sekkachi in tow, there was something drastically different. Rei couldn’t put her finger on it but the mood had definitely changed and it made her mildly uncomfortable. All that night, she could feel the presence of something inexplicable hanging over her, and more than anything between Chikara and Sekkachi. She tossed and turned and tried to distance herself from it but it was no use. That night, she barely slept at all.

               The rest of the trip went as smoothly as it could under the circumstances. The merchant man barely spoke and when he did, it was never anything ill-intended. Naru babbled incessantly, per usual, drumming up conversations about politics she didn’t truly understand and people she didn’t truly know. The strangest, however, was Sekkachi. She seemed guarded but at ease, and she stuck close to Chikara’s side. It was a strange sense of symbiosis, and Rei never could stop thinking about it.

               When they reached their destination, it was clear the town had been ravaged by war. Houses were in shambles and villagers ran along struggling to scrounge up food. Is this what happens when conflict gets out of hand? Rei wondered. The scene sent shivers down her spine. They escorted their client the rest of the way to his destination, to a rundown shop where his wife and teenage son stood awaiting his return. The man greeted them, then turned back to the girls and thanked them each personally.

               “I know we got off to a rough start” he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “but I am grateful to have had you girls as my bodyguards. You have reminded me of what is important in life, after the war had made me so jaded.” Then, turning to Chikara, he smiled and said, “You’ve got your work cut out for you, miss.”

               Chikara smirked and shook her head. “It’s nothing I can’t handle” she said confidently.

               When they returned to the village, Rei was suddenly reminded of her next greatest mission: to find Kakashi and tell him the good news. She bid her comrades goodbye and then scoured the village, but he was nowhere to be found. He can’t be on a mission again, she thought to herself, though she knew it must be true. He had been working so hard, but this was a time of war and he was a higher rank than she was. He was needed there. The sake of the nation was more important than herself. Defeated, she made her way home.

               Hana greeted her daughter with open arms, pulling her into a tight embrace and crying with joy that her baby had made it home safe. “Mom, it was just an escort mission…it wasn’t really a big deal” she said, but Hana wouldn’t hear of it. Anything that may have put her daughter’s life at risk was worth worrying over.

               Grandma Teiko, at least, was sane. She slapped Rei hard on the back with a grin and told her, “Good job, girl. You’ll be a jonin in no time!”

               Her father was not there to welcome her home.

               That night, as she lay in bed, Rei thought of Kakashi. She wondered where he was, what he was doing, if he was okay. She peered out her window to the lake out back and reminisced of the old days when they hadn’t a care in the world and nothing was impossible. He couldn’t hide from her any longer. She was a genin now and for once, anything was possible yet again.

[thealternatediet]

[thealternatediet]

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