#branches babbles

[babblingbranches]

At the risk of being beset by a bunch of BotW players who vehemently disagree, I’m gonna come out with a bit of a hot take…

I… actually like the weapon durability system.

No, really.

I actually like having weapons that eventually break (with some exceptions, but I’ll get to that later). That said, I’m also well aware that has more to do with how I like to play games. Namely that, I like resource management and strategizing. 

With a weapon that doesn’t break, every battle is a war of attrition of wailing on the enemy with whatever deals the most damage. However, with breakable weapons, you have to think more about what weapons you use and where. Like sure, you could use a royal guard claymore to take out a lizalfos in a couple swings, buuut you’re in need of a lynel hoof; so you would rather save your harder hitting weapons for that future battle. 

It also encourages the player to make use of the game environment. It was rather kind of the developers after all to put these conveniently placed boulders on top of a hill leading to an enemy camp. It’d be a shame not to use them. Whatever little bit it takes to whittle down the enemies before the player has to go in with their finite amount of weapons.

Additionally, it allows for a wider variety of weapons with different properties. Instead of one bow that never breaks, the player can use a sniper bow or a three shot bow. You could use a sledgehammer, or use a giant boomerang or giant, glowing chainsaw. If weapons didn’t break, there wouldn’t be as wide a variety of weapons as there are, because that would clog up inventory space fast.

The only exceptions I don’t really like this for are the champion weapons and the Hylian shield. Yeah, I know they can be replaced with the right materials, but then it’s just a replica of the weapon, not the same weapon once held by your comrades who fell in battle 100 years ago. Kinda feels a little awkward slinking back to whatever settlement that weapon was from and going “Heeey, so I was kinda sorta fighting with a moblin with the weapon of great emotional and cultural importance to your people, as well as one of the last few reminders of your beloved Lady Mipha, when I sorta accidentally broke it over its head. You’re not too mad at me, are you Muzu?”

Same thing goes for the Hylian shield. Sure, you can buy a replica, but you had to earn that shield by fighting a stalnox. On top of that, you only get one chance to get a Hylian shield with a modifier on it. Once that breaks, only standard Hylian shields are available.

This would’ve been an easy fix, though. Just have the respective blacksmiths be able to repair the weapon in addition to replacing it. It would still cost resources (maybe even money because there isn’t a whole lot to spend rupees on in the late game), but then there’s at least the chance of them being used instead of hanging on Link’s weapons display, collecting dust in a house he’s barely in.

[ficauthor]

Cant stop thinking about how Trolls Dreamworks made sure everyone knew that Branch is Hot for a Troll. Truly they did not need too but it does make the entire story like 10% funnier.

There's a non zero chance as he sang true colours around the pot someone went "oh no hes hot!" Like there's a chance that as he intruded parties and shit someone in the background sighed in disapointment that such an attractive young man wouldnt just dance with them. Someone (Poppy) probably saw him brooding through the forest and went "owwooga gotta get me a slice of that depressed cake!"

Imagine explaining to the other genres that just one short year ago the town hottie thottie was rejected and loathed by everyone bc singing killed his grandma.

Funnier imagine being pop trolls you've been privy to his top ten worst mental breakdowns but now everyone from the other genres thinks hes soooo competent. Hes sooooo good at singing and the way he was able to just pick up dancing with all the other groups is soooooo cool. Meanwhile you know he flipped a coffin over like three years ago mid panic attack. You've seen Branch hide perfectly in a puddle of mud Peeta hunger games style because he thought an earthquake was a sign of the apocalypse.

Imagine being his bros seeing him display unparalleled riz around town and then learning that for about twenty years no one acknowledged that bc he was paranoid as hell. Imagine being his bros and learning that, yes he pulled the queen of your nation but also just about every troll capable of attraction to him.

Character of all time Branch is.

[sandflakedraws]

May I prompt... more Floyd and Bitty B interactions? 🫣 Lots of untapped potential in their shared snarkiness...

(Also, hi! I've been a fan of your art for a long time and I've been so happy to see you posting Trolls art recently! You make them so Squish....)

(hello!! glad to have u along for the ride ^^ the Beans are here to stay)

not so much snarky as sentimental with this one, but here u go. this is based on my experience of holding my newborn sister for the first time when i was five

[thebeeshaveknees]

All the brothers have unique names for Branch since he's the babiest brother, Branch cannot fight this

[natasha-in-space]

Being an adult sucks so bad, because all I want is to start a snowball fight and get tackled into the snow until I'm drenched and can't stop laughing, but I'm forced to just walk over the snowy streets like a normal responsible person

[twistedappletree]

as much as i love everyone’s long ass hair in mdzs i’m constantly paranoid it’s gonna get pulled during a fight or get caught on a tree branch while they’re flying through the air or get shredded by the claws of the damned while falling into an endless abyss, as danmei boys usually do

[txmxkis]

last post for the night and then I'll shut up but i will be posting the thing i've been writing tomorrowwwww

[alaskan-wallflower]

does anyone know which branch of judaism kyle follows? like was it ever said or referenced? genuine question.

[queenpanpan]

He can have…a little murder…as a treat…

[g4yr4t]

accidentally ordered spicy drunken noodles instead of mild so... we'll see how that goes.

[teenagefeeling]

as a dropout.tv subscriber im finding all the people upset about watcher kinda funny......

[paleinc]

arryn zech's great in hsr so far

[sandflakedraws]

For trolls request, either Floyd interacting with Veneer, OR Reigan Troll-Sona (love your art!)

hilariously ... i actually had one of these on hand from when i first watched TBT mnbdkjnkdjb.

behold! Reigen, the sweatiest troll this side of Pop Village.

i also. had drawn this one.

[tojiphile]

ONE PIECE LIVE ACTION MEN + DICK HEADCANONS & SIZES

a/n. i wrote this last night at 5am while sleep deprived so the further it gets the more wack it gets LOL

cw/tw. f!reader, rough sex, blowjobs, dirty talk, slight exhibitionism, body hair, skinny penis, unprotected sex, for 18+ readers

MONKEY D. LUFFY

— 6.5” but thinks he’s average, so he doesn’t stretch it out with his abilities. not too girthy, but he makes up for it with his unrelenting stamina. it curves up against his stomach and leans left slightly. a little bit messy because he tried to shave it once and nicked himself, so he just settled with the hair. honey-toned towards the base and a deep red at the tip, especially when he’s raring to go.

— he wants to do it in every position, on every surface. he has you bent over the dinner table, one leg up and slamming into you mercilessly. he has you spread eagle in the bathtub, legs locked behind his back as he stuffs you full. it’s almost as if his dick is made for you, the curve perfectly abuses your g-spot as every orgasm overwhelms you, and you’re left a sobbing, babbling mess. he wants to know if he’s doing well, and he gets his answer when you chant “s— so, ah! good, fuck, d— don’t stop!” like a prayer.

RORONOA ZORO

— long, fat and heavy. he’s blessed with a stunning 7.3” length, though if anyone asks, he rounds down to make them feel more at ease. veiny. the mushroom tip is flushed purple, and it’s rests nicely on your tongue!! probably messy down there, he doesn’t see the point in shaving or trimming, but if you ask nicely, he’ll grunt, roll his eyes, and do it for you.

— you insisted that you didn’t need any prep, but as you straddled him, lining up your cunt with his cock, you soon realised your mistake. you have to spread yourself open, face scrunching up, and slowly sink down. he loves the feeling of your pussy walls fluttering as you start riding him. when your eyes flutter shut and your hips stutter, he takes control—holding you tight by the waist and fucking into you until you’re screaming.

SANJI VINSMOKE

— 6.4” and so so pretty. slender, with a pale shaft that leads into a rosy pink at the tip. it curves up and to the right. the carpet matches the drapes. he keeps it neat, though he probably doesn’t grow much hair anyway. he trims it once every few days, but he’ll never admit to it. smells the best AKA smells really clean, like soap.

— he goes crazy when you maintain eye contact and drop to your knees. you take his cock in hand, lifting it to run your tongue on the underside, tracing a prominent vein. you swirl your tongue around his sensitive head and his whole body is shaking, knees buckling as he chases that familiar high.

USUPP

— coming in at 5.8”, he makes up for it in his thick girth. when he jerks himself off, he can barely wrap his hand around it. he’s soooo sensitive that the wind can blow and he’s be hard. fat fat fat mushroom head that’s olive, golden-hued, and always oozing precum. heavy heavy balls. he might be clumsy and inexperienced, but his size alone is enough to make you drool. trims sometimes but only when he thinks he might get lucky.

— his hand grips your hair as you worship his cock, working magic with your mouth. as you jerk him off, you give small kitten licks to his leaking tip, tasting his salty precum. you whisper, “i want you” and before you know it, he has you pinned under him, rutting his thick cock into you desperately. his eyes are fixated on the way your cunt swallows him, and only strangled groans escape his lips.

BUGGY

— sorry buggy simps but he’s definitely a shower not a grower, though he still does comes in at a nice 6”! also, it’s ya boy, skinny penis. built like a tree branch but at least it’s really veiny, AND he knows how to talk you through it. so really, it might not be the most impressive but with his confidence when he’s fucking you? he’ll fuck you out and make you believe he’s 8” and 5”.

— he loves admiring your sopping cunt as it swallow him whole, your princess parts stretching to to accommodate his cock. he likes to fucks you. he presses you up against a window and fucks you from the back, choking you with his forearm and practically purrs, “taking me so well, ya dirty slut, fuckin’ cunt was made for my cock.”

SHANKS

— he doesn’t act like it buuuuuuut monster cock. it’s 7.8”, thick, and curved so much it slaps against his happy trail. let me tell you that when he sun tans, he does it naked. he lathers that horse cock up with sunblock and spreads eagle on the sand, hands behind his head, so he’s bronzed and beautiful. trims when he feels like it or if you ask, he doesn’t really think much about it.

— he doesn’t look like he’s putting in much effort when he fucks, barely breaking a sweat, but he has you writhing, hands gripping the sheets, eyes hazy and choking on your own spit. he knows what he’s doing to you. his thumb finds your clit, rubbing in delicate circles making you cum over and over again until you’re absolutely wrecked. when he’s close, he picks up the pace, grunting heavily, hips stuttering as he spills his seed inside of you. when he pulls out, he takes the time to finger fuck his cum back into you, your body shaking as you work through the aftershock.

[blackdykegirlblogger]

nsfw abby hcs even tho tlou tumblr is dead bc i'm very horny and very gay for ms. anderson!!! there's a slight mention of knifeplay towards the end, but nothing too crazy or in-depth.

i'm terribly sorry to all of the sub!abby truthers out there, but let's snap back to reality now. this woman does not bottom. believe me, i loveeeeee me some subby butches (vi, ellie, etc)....but she is not that.

in fact, i'm going to rock the boat and dare to call her a stone top. it's nothing personal against you ofc, but some people just prefer to give rather than receive yk? you getting your nut is the equivalent to her getting one in her eyes, and she loves loves loves playing with you until your brain literally turns off.

her best friend is a black 9 inch strap that she drags around everywhere. if she sees an opportunity to rock your shit at any given time, best believe that she's going to take advantage.

she's a creamer. anyways-

she's at least 6 foot, built like a machine and has the biggest (see what i did there?? i'm funny) size kink known to man. it doesn't matter how fit you are or how much you work out bc she's always going to be stronger than you. and since she's a little shit, she's always going to flaunt how much stronger she is by manhandling you into whatever position she wants on her dick. or pulling you into a headlock as she hits it from the back and admiring how far your eyes roll with the cockiest of grins.

has a very, very, very, very strong dumification kink. so don't be surprised when she fucks you until you're babbling absolute nonsense and your knees lock and you can't even recite the damn alphabet (all on a random tuesday afternoon). that's how she knows she did a good job <3

swallows your cum and honest to god will spit it back into your mouth. nasty nasty nasty.

she's had a few casual sexual encounters prior to meeting you. she's not a virgin (vi) or a whore (sevika), but kind of somewhere in between? like she has enough experience to know what she's doing but her body count rlly isn't that high tbh

her favorite position is a full nelson and she will say it to your face with no shame (with mating presses being a close second). she's making sure that you aren't running from ANYTHING!

she fucked you on the first date. actually, correction. she fucked you halfway through the first date.

^^^ branching off that, she may or may not have stated very very clearly that she wanted to make a baby with you whilst being balls deep in the backseat of her truck. this was about *checks watch* 2 hours after she first picked you up from your apartment.

her tits aren't all that sensitive, but her neck definitely is. suck on her pulse point for long enough and she is putty in your hand.

she moans when she eats it. yes ma'am.

she's very much all or nothing. if she isn't fingerfucking you with 3 fingers, then she might as well not be fingerfucking you at all. ik that sounds a tad bit painful, but trust. you're so wet from the hours of mind-numbing clit sucking that they just glide right in

has fucked you with the handle of one of her knives before. stay with me now

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere King Naga // Part 1

Thinking about living in the forest once you’ve transmigrated to another world. Instead of getting caught up in some romance plot or adventure you decide to just live in a little cottage. Where you catch and cook your own food, making some passive income when you do venture into the town. On your way back from one of these trips you happen upon a little bundle crying on the dirt path.

“Oh my, who forgot you little sunshine?”

You smile when their crying ceases when you lightly rock them, beginning to notice a few odd-looking patches on their cheek. Then when those tiny eyes finally open little slits look back up at you while their mouth with little budding incisors open to coo at you. All of it leads to you opening up the bundled wrappings around them to find a wiggly and stubby little snake’s tail. It is then you make the perilous decision to raise this little naga in secret. 

In this world, you could tell it wasn’t advanced enough to accept monsters or anything not human into the community. That you might be branded a monster as well just for caring for the creature. Nonetheless, you rationalize that this is perfect for your forest life–where you’re more likely to meet other monsters than humans. Thus your life with this little one begins and you thank his naga-biology that he grows up fast. 

“I caught a mouse! Are you proud of me!”

“Yup, I’m real proud! Now come on you need a bath.”

But not too fast. Life is good for a while while you tend to the house your little one—Nox ventures to the perimeter of the forest to play before returning to you. He is still a child. Things go on normally until he comes slithering to you with snot in his nose, tears in his eyes, and babbling through tears. Hugging and holding him you check for injuries and when you find none you try to convince him to talk to you.

“What’s wrong, Nox?”

“I-I-There’s a guy out there! A-a-and he keeps following me! Look!”

Hiding behind you and clutching your pants, following his finger to the underbrush of the forest around you harden your stance. Thinking about the knife in your pocket and your other hand holding onto Nox, keeping him behind you. Watching the leaves and branches rustle with movement you prepared yourself for a fight. 

“Are you this child’s guardian?”

It’s another Naga, standing tall on a tail adorned with patches of gold in his white tail. Hiding further in the brush you can tell there are black rings around the tip of their tail which seems to be coiled a lot closer. He’s lean but muscular and his golden eyes are glaring at you. 

“I am. Why?”

He hisses, “To think a human would take in a hatchling purely out of goodheartedness is ridiculous. I’m going to take this child home where he belongs.”

“Nooo!”

“He’s my kid and if you want to fight for him I will do that.”

With a final pat on Nox’s head, you tell him to stay near the house. You goad the naga man into a place near the forest saying you’d rather not do this in front of Nox before taking off running. You know he’s following as you hear him angrily hiss and slither through the wood. Bringing him to a desired spot you turn keeping your knife behind you as he launches his tail in your direction. Expecting it, you dodge finally revealing your knife and aiming it at his tail creating a gash that has him hissing. 

“Haaaa Insolent Human! How dare you!?”

Usually, with a knife like yours, you never would have broken the protection of the scales but taking care of Nox offered some invaluable insight. You tried to dodge again but failed as his tail coiled around you in the blink of an eye. Squeezing immediately it took you a moment to turn your knife around to stab at what scales you could. He grunted but seemingly had settled for the stab at the expense of strangling you. 

“I’m going to enjoy watching the life leave from you, human! Your kind makes me sick.”

The pressure was unbearable but your adrenaline was high and with the simple gesture of bringing you closer to spit in your face you took a leap of faith. Abandoning your knife for some wiggle room you launched forward clamping onto his neck your only weapon left—your teeth. 

That seemed to catch him off guard his tail unraveling enough to let the rest of your body go. Now allowed to pin him down, using your feet and hands to pin down his own as you continued to bite into his neck you didn’t stop until you heard him moan.

“Aaaa~! Wait no, please! You’ve got to let aah~!

In your peripheral, you could see his alabaster tail twirl and twist oddly. From your position, you couldn’t see his face but you could imagine what his expression was. Considering you could feel the connection of his hips bucking against your own. The final nail in the coffin other than his constant streams of wonton moans you could hear the familiar worried slither of your son coming through the wood. 

He was calling for you. Hopefully, so loud he would miss the Naga continuing to make the loud moans despite you standing over him and wiping your teeth of his blood. Finally, looking at him you could see the darkened tips of their ears and cheeks as they continued to oddly curl on themselves. You didn’t bother trying to stop him, not wanting to trigger another fight you just ran scooping Nox up and barricading you both in your home. Hopefully, by the time the Naga man comes to his senses, he will have accepted his loss by then and leave. 

Unbeknownst to you that Naga would spend all night shifting and rolling in their ground replaying the fight. All the while moaning and groaning, driving all the smartest predators far away. This would continue until daybreak when he finally stopped but the heat in his cheeks was far from gone.

“That–that human is perfect…a human…who would’ve guessed.”

After a day you venture out, Nox sticking close to you while you undo the locks of the door with a knife in hand. Looking out you hoped you’d find no one in the clearing near your home—that was not the case.

“Hello human!”

Slamming the door on his face, you replay the expression and the closeness that they were standing outside the door. If only to sate your curiosity you opened the door again. 

“Hi–”

Slam

“How are–”

Slam

“You?”

When he seems to stay in that same place the whole rest of the day, you eventually encourage Nox to keep his nose down and help you with your chores.  Ignoring the smiley Naga who was oddly no longer hostile.

“What are you doing? Hanging your human clothes? How cute can I help?

“Is this how humans catch their food? How human-like so clever I would’ve never thought a net would be how you do that!”

“You are such a good parent to your little one? Would you like to have some more?”

Once you're able to shoo the intrigued Nox away, you decide to hose this guy down for answers. Good thing he’s happy to provide them. He finally introduces himself as a King of Naga who was coming to pass judgment on a Naga child living with a human from the smaller snakes of the forest. You hold your complaints about his presumptuous assessment, to ask why he’s still here assuming the fight said that you were capable enough to raise Nox.

“Yes well, now I’m courting you!”

“Excuse me?”

“You not only bested me in battle, you also did the most submitting action and claiming that a Naga could do. You…bit me~”

“Even so…I’m not a Naga.”

“Well usually that’d matter but I am the King of all Naga once my neck has been bitten and claimed there can be no others that is until you die.”

“Can’t you just pretend I died in the battle?”

“Preposterous your my destined mate! No other will do!”

Thus your days are spent trying to explain to Nox why the Naga you fought with was hanging around so often. On top of that the King Naga whose real name was Shian, had begun to ramp up his advances. No longer happy to just wave at you behind trees or happily follow you with your chores. He gets closer, testing your boundaries and breaking them as he intends to instigate some kind of reciprocation.

He is a King, And he’ll get what he wants....eventually.

Part 2: Here