#brain's barely online

[llycaons]

4 am...good god it's all so terribly real

[falmerbrook]

[youssefguedira]

K or N for Joe and/or Nicky

K. On the edge of consciousness.

Yusuf wakes slowly, so slowly that he can’t see and isn’t even sure he can open his eyes, only half-sure he still has eyes, and that’s how he knows there’s something very, very wrong. He can’t move, can’t hear, can’t even smell anything. He doesn’t remember exactly what happened to him, but every part of him is burning, and he’s fairly sure the weird aching sensation in his head is his skull knitting itself back together, which. He really, really didn’t need to know what that feels like. 

There’s a scraping in his chest when he breathes in, but at least he’s breathing. 

Where is he? He could be anywhere. He could be in the middle of the street, could have been dragged away from the fighting from someone who had seen him breathing through a wound that should have killed him immediately. When he wakes, what will he find? Will they have taken his weapon? How long has he been dead? 

Will Nicolò be able to find him, if they are separated? Will he even try?

Slowly but steadily, he starts to hear something: a high pitched whistling that sounds like it’s coming from deep inside his own head. The darkness begins to lift, leaving flickering amber lights across his vision, and a shadow in front of him. 

There’s a voice, too, one that sharpens into words as Yusuf’s hearing begins to return. He doesn’t understand their meaning, but the cadence of them and the voice itself is familiar. 

“Are you awake?” Nicolò asks softly, switching to Arabic. 

Yusuf tries to make a sound in response. Whether it’s audible he doesn’t know, because the only noise he can really make is a rasping exhale, but Nicolò hushes him anyway.

“Do not… you can be slow,” Nicolò says. He’s more comfortable with the sounds of the language now, but still doesn’t always string sentences together well. “We are safe. I am here.”

He’s made aware of where his hand is by the feeling of Nicolò reaching for it. Yusuf manages to make an actual sound this time, but still can’t form words. Nicolò squeezes his hand gently. 

“I am here,” he says again. 

Eventually, Yusuf’s skull seems to piece itself back together fully, and his vision sharpens, letting him see that they’re backed into the corner of the two remaining intact walls of a house ravaged by fire, Nicolò crouched in front of him with his sword in hand. There’s a trail of blood leading to where Yusuf is lying now, and a section of the room that has collapsed. He can piece together enough. Nicolò would have had to drag him over here.

This time, he manages to make a sound, even if he can’t quite form words. Nicolò looks down at him over his shoulder, and there is blood on his face and in his hair, and only then does Yusuf notice the bodies in the room. 

“Okay?” Nicolò asks. 

Yusuf manages to nod, and it sends a spike of pain along his spine. Nicolò turns slightly to look at him properly. 

“You are almost done, I think,” he says. “You did not… you were asleep for a long time. I did not know if…”

“Nicolò,” Yusuf finally manages, hoarse.

“Rest,” Nicolò says. “I am here.”

(letter asks)

[icewindandboringhorror]

me every morning: I need to post online today.. i have to post online.. to be a successful artist person one MUST have an "online presence".. i have to be online.. i have to post things to the internet... the internet world, i need to post upon it.. i hafe to post On Line now

me 5 minutes later:

[anatomicaltheatre]

"No specific DNI if you suck, I'll block you." You suck yourself. Real mature for someone your age.

this is so funny lol. i went to nuance island and nobody knew you

[sangcreole]

damn. this is genuinely the only space on the internet where I feel completely at peace.

[bookinit02]

literally what a day i am still shaking

[orcelito]

Dear fucking God

So I've been dreaming more about my most recent ex lately (likely bc we started dating around this time last year), which is frustrating me Immensely. So I decided, Fuck it, I'd try to join a dating app after all. At least to try see.

Tried looking into what app to use, and it seems like it's an entire goddamn cesspool of bots and disgustingly expensive subscription services. Nothing is rated well. What's rated better is reviewed elsewhere to just be full of hot air. Tinder seems to be mostly for hookups, not interested. Her sounds nice for some, but I'd be uncomfortable there as a nonbinary person. Hinge and Bumble seem to be viewed generally badly too. And it all leads back to OkCupid, which sounds nice In Theory with the selection options, but a lot of people are saying it's gone to the fuckin dumps. But it seems like *everything* is a fucking cesspool, so if something is even a Little bit useful, then maybe it's still worth a try.

So I said fuck it. Let's try OkCupid. Downloaded, started trying to sign up.... and then I get an error message saying it can't create the account????

Like ok. Fuck me I guess. This was a stupid idea anyways.

[hoovse]

has anyone else noticed lately that as you fall asleep, the scenarios that start to play as you drift off are no longer perceived by your brain as "dreamlike". Instead your mind flags what you're seeing as ai-generated

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

Spider m //

I’ve been watching some tarantula feeding videos on youtube and like honestly, i don’t know what it is but even being quite intensely arachnophobic, pet tarantulas are just such little babies to me. Like I am the type of person who will literally have an anxiety attack if I see a spider irl, but seeing people loving and appreciating their own pets always brings out this warm wholesome feeling…

[6-2-ansalewitofhate]

one of the management people in my apartment gave me an early christmas gift including a plushie and some candy and some notes trying to cheer me up. probably because of the incident where i got locked out of my apartment.

[gingerwerk]

Finally finished rewatching my silly comfort show that I stopped 5 episodes before the finale because I didn’t want to deal with the emotions of the finale :’) time to be all nostalgic and melancholy I guess

[mansplainmanipulatemalewife]

I think the reason I like oldboy so much is because deep down I too an a bitter old queen

[scarefox]

Ok I kind of mentioned I make Sun x Junior playlist. I started one, but I don't know when I get the right vibe to continue it, so here have the start for now

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[doctorodyssey]

how are we doing guys