#brain fart ???

[storywonker]

They call me Johnny Six-Bowls. No, I don't smoke weed, it's - yeah, I know. It's cause when I cook I need a buncha those little bowls to put my stuff in. You know, cut up veggies and stuff. What's the word. Mise en place. Yeah. So I gotta have a bunch of em with stuff all prepped before I start. Elsewise it's all chaos. Anyway. You here to duel? Or should I give you head

[rapplesart]

Random fic idea

Tim drake but instead of loosing his spleen he lost part of his leg.

Tim thought it was obvious he was missing his right leg from the knee down. It was a whole leg that was missing after all. Sure he was wearing a prosthetic made by Ra's' best people.

One he painfully earned after that crazy fucker made him fight a bunch of his assassins one legged in order to "proof himself as the true heir of the bat he saw in him" or something. So sure, the leg might be more advanced than most, and it imitated natural steps a lot easier and even made it possible to easily run without switching to a different leg. Truly it was a perfect leg be vigilante with. But he never even bothered to give it human like appearances.

But apparently the Fam didn't notice. When he returned with Bruce everyone was too reliefed to give Tim a closer look and it just never came up afterwards.

Tim thought they just didn't want to ask about it in a weird attempt of being polite or even caring. Bruce surely did enough research on how it happened on his own. The man spend the whole travel back to Gotham with Tim after all. Tim truly believed the world's greatest detective would have noticed his missing leg.

Except he didn't. Not if he interpreted the way they looked so incredibly disturbed by is nonchalant way of handlinh the boiling hot chemicals that landed on his metal leg. He just brushed it off, the battle continued and since nothing seemed to be injured no one pressed him when he said "Must've missed me after all"

Now, how do you deal with a family that didn't notice you're missing a leg? That's right you fuck with them.

First thing he did was buy himself a few more realistic looking prosthetic leg. It had to be custom made to fit his stump so it took a whole but it was a worthwhile investment.

The first one was Jason. Call it a twisted revenge for trying to kill him but Tim just really wanted him to be messed with the most. So one day when he knew it was only Jason and him on patrol he strategically set himself down to fall. Crunching some spaghettis to ass in a sickening way only to stand up and walk away as if nothing ever happened.... With his foot toned the wrong way around. Insisting on nothing being wrong and Jason being delusional whenever the older boy tried to get him to get medical treatment. He switched it up the whole evening, whenever he was out of sight he turned the fool right and wrong. Driving the guy insane.

Jason did not sleep well that night. He was also top weirded out and unsure if what he saw was real to talk about it with anyone else.

Then, he challenged dick to a flexibility contest seeing how far they han bend their knees and feet. Even Mr bones are a social construct gymnast Richard Grayson looked horrified as Tim stood there, food bend almost in half, knee twisted to the impossible and what looked lihe a bend in the middle of his leg. Dick claimed cheating except the thing that greeted him when he demanded Tim to puch up his pant leg to expose his trick was a normal looking leg. The first Robin did lots of stretches in the following weeks. His pride was hurt after all.

Finding a way to mess with Damian was a bit more difficult. The brat still made a bunch of harsh comments again and again and he really wasn't close enough with Tim to be easily gaslit. The kid was a trained assassin and was probably used to a bunch of weird shit considering everything Ra's. So Tim decided he could go a bit more gory on Robin than the others. So one night he sat in front of Damians room, in the dark hallway and waited till one of his pets passed him. Once Alfred the Cat came along he made some louder coping noise that would Definetly make the kid look out to check on his animals. It worked just as planned, Damian peeked out his door to see Tim, crosslegged and barefoot on the floor, seemingly cutting off his toe to feed the cat. In reality it was nothing more than a cat treat and carefully picked, animal safe food coloring.

The kid scremed at him, threatened to stab him, punched him real good for harming his cat and took off with said cat to find Alfred so the older man could check on the poor kitten. Of course not beforeaking sure Tim was in an adequate amount of pain on the floor, with his 'injured' food secured to the floor with another knife. Only to return with a worried Alfred on tow to see Tim, standing two whole bare feet with a confused expression and a bag of cat treats in the hall.

Tim got a broken nose for it but it surely was worth it. Especially once he quietly whispered a 'no one will ever belief you' to the kid in passing. He might have traumatised the boy a little but Tim fought it justified for all the attempted murder he suffered.

[fltner]

Tim gets so used to making up cover stories under pressure that it becomes his first instinct when questioned about anything that stresses him out, completely autopilot.

—

Tim sighed. “Well, I guess I'll start from the beginning: my name is Alvin Draper, I lived in the Narrows with my grandma — until I was ten, that is. A rogue attack went wrong, and she was killed in the crossfire; it hadn't even been intentional, just collateral damage, couldn't pin a revenge scheme onto it if you'd tried, and trust me, I did.” He spat, bitterly.

“Placing the blame on Batman for not coming to rescue her hadn’t felt right, and seeking revenge against Two Face made me feel wrong. The blame game was cut short however, because I was soon starving. Long story short, I decided it'd lessen the internal turmoil if I robbed the. . . more fortunate, up in Bristol, leading me to Drake manor.” He let out a breath. 

“Arguably lucky for little Alvin Draper: the young Drake heir, tiny eight year old Timmy, had succumbed to illness and passed away during the very same week. Jack and Janet hadn't been concerned about more than the question of who'll pass on their legacy and family standing within the public eye. Their eyes landed on the black haired, blue eyed intruder, sharing a similar build and height to their late son, and decided the job was —

“Replacement, I asked why my spicy marinara sauce was missing.” Interrupted Jason abruptly, after the two minute mark had passed, looking somewhere between incredulous, confused, and done-with-this-shit.

Tim blinked for a second, as though remembering where he was. “Oh, sorry, reflexes.”

[whereifindsanity]

Hahaha!

[fangirl-nadir]

I was talking about pop culture dinosaurs vs scientifically accurate dinosaurs, only my brain glitched and I ended up saying "biblically accurate dinosaurs" instead

[radioducky]

Lucifer: So… are we flirting right now?

Alastor, licking his lips: I am literally drinking your blood!?

Lucifer: That doesn’t answer my question.

[suljaffs]

Nanami Dabble - Surprise Dinner / fluff

Warning: this may not be that good it was just a random brain fart I wanted to write about sighfhfghfgfhhh

It was 11:30 pm. The apartment was dim with a scenic nighttime view, a couple of your vanilla candles around the dining room to set an ambiance with a somewhat nice layout of food: Mac and cheese, fries, pizza rolls, and even home made heart shaped cookies for desert. “He should be getting home any time now.” You thought, stepping back to view your creation in full. Your body tense with excitement waiting for the door to swing open.

Nanami always came home at late hours, leaving at the crack of dawn, entering while you slept. It bothered you not being able to spend much time with your lover but you never held it against him because you understood his job was hard, draining even, and you wanted nothing other than to provide a safe space for your husband. Today, you decided to do something for him. For the longest, you two have postponed plans of going to dinner because of work. The two of you could’ve just gotten in the kitchen but he wanted it to be a day where the two of you could simply relax. At first, it seemed like a good idea but with each date night turning into “I don’t have enough time after work.” And lots of cancellations on reservations because of last minute work issues, You decided to take matters into your own hands and what better than a quick at home dinner?

“That carpet fragrance is quiet strong.” Hearing not only his voice but also the lock hitch and the knob shuffle, you pulled out your phone to take a quick picture before ducking under the table, snickering to yourself.

Nanami creeped the door open, he was always careful as to not wake you up. “My.. love?” He stopped in his tracks, tucking his lips as he watched you come up from under the table, a small smile creeping its way on his face as he watched you bump your head in the process. “Su-ouch-prise!” You jumped up, a big smile on your face despite your minor injury. He softly shut the door behind him, keeping his body turned towards the closed door, back facing you. “Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me big boy.” You snickered, making your way over to him. “I just wanted to do something special but in all honesty, it’s not my best work.�� You dismissed your hard work, but you hadn’t known what else to say to ease the moment.

“It’s perfect my love.” He turned to you, two tear trails visible on his face. Seeing him cry wasn’t crazy to you as he had been a softie: that time when you said yes to being his girlfriend in high school and even that time when a cute squirrel approached him on your guys walk through the park. You took a hand to his face, drying his tears as his head hung low. “It’s all for you.” You cooed. “Now come eat. I only really had time to actually cook the Mac and cheese so you better appreciate my hard work.” You teased, untying his tie which you know he would hate to get dirty. He took your hand before you could walk over to the table. “You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, y/n.” He whispered before planting a deep kiss on your hand, another tear dropping.

He guided you to the table, seating you before seating himself. “I thought the smell was that carpet fragrance got you, never would’ve expected it to be this…” Nanami looked around the table, a nod of approval. “oh how I love you.” He whispered. The night was full of giggles, conversations of work, and old memories between you two like the times when he thought it wasn’t obvious he had a crush on you, when you rejected him because you didn’t know him well enough, and most importantly the cute moments you two shared every now and then.

As the time ticked close to 1, you two had wrapped up dinner, he had taken him a shower, and you two decided** to reside yourselves in bed for the night. For once in a long time, you two were finally going to sleep at the same time again and it wasn’t just him cuddling you when you were already asleep. This time, it was you who was big spoon. Playing with his blonde strands as his head rested in your chest, you couldn’t help but to sniff him. He smelt of tréseme hair conditioner but you had no issue with it because it was him… his smell.

[batwynn]

You ever just... watch something fall?

[moonyswarmsweaters]

James: Look at this book I found in the library

Remus: You? In a library ? What could have possibly cause that?

James: Shut up

Regulus: are you going to tell us about the book or not?

James: Right! It a muggle book called “72 ways to make your dog behave” Do you think-

Regulus: that we can use it on my brother? I can tell you it works

Remus: Yeah, but he is usually pissed when he finds out

James:

James: Have you tried this before?

Regulus: This is your first time in the library in a year. We practically live there and run a betting ring on the basis of my brother’s dramatic behavior.

[stef-rambles]

Wriothesley, in the middle of a conversation with Neuvillette: "fuck me if I'm wrong but–"

Neuvillette, interrupting him without looking up from his papers: "you're wrong."

Wriothesley: "e-eh...?" 😅

Neuvillette, now intently staring at Wriothesley with narrowed eyes: "I said, you're wrong, Wriothesley."

Wriothesley: 😳

[martagrayfox]

I'm starting to wonder if everyone who had a Sergal fursona just dropped it because of the racism stereotype, actually where the fuck did it came from I want to know the origin of it

[flatskin]

All my designs so far and a A. Sphere concept that I'm not liking 🙁 (I'm to lazy to draw hex's brothers 😒

[myguiltyartpleasure]

Hear me out: zukka x mulan (disney version). Sokka is pretending to be from fire nation colony, Zuko is their general. He isn’t hiding his gender, but his origins. Probably hiding swt tattoos or water tribe trinkets (imagine piercing with water tribe themed beads!)

Why? My brain stuck on this image as zukka and I want to make it zukka

[urbvncoffee]

"Changing" means that nothing new will happen until you destroy the person you've been.

I read this sentence in a manga I'm a big fan of, and maybe they've exaggerated it a bit with the "destroy" part, but I think the point they want to make is understood anyway, so I'll leave it here, as a reminder that If I want something to change, that change has to start with me.

[0bananadog0]

I think about random stuff way to much but anyway I came to think about the two main languages in warhammer. High and low gothic.

And like I don’t think I could explain how fucked one would be if you just got warped to that shit. And I’m not even meaning the endless war part I mean actually being able to COMMUNICATE whit the people around you.

You can’t speak or written because to languages to day will be long since dead and the chances you meet someone who understands it is next to 0.

Symbols? Forget about it. Hand gestures? Yeah no that won’t work either.

[radioducky]

The next morning at the breakfast table

Lucifer: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. 
Angel: You were flirtin‘ with Smiles the whole damn time. 
Lucifer: So what? We‘re together already, it’s no big deal!
Angel: You asked him if he’s single. 
Lucifer: …
Angel: And then you cried when he said he wasn’t.