#boy advice

[traveller-of-the-knight]

[ohhowihatebeingagirl]

Dating In Highschool

The majority of people I know have already had a relationship(most of them not even serious ones). They've also gone on dates, had their first kiss, etc. I haven't had any. Kids my age are shocked when I tell them this. Is it okay that I don't have any dating experience? I'm worried that I'll bring this lack of experience with me to college, and then dating will be very challenging. Or is it okay and should I stay a kid for a little while longer? But it's hard to not feel left out when everyone around you seems to be experts at talking to boys. Any advice?

[scar1et-st4rl3t]

he follows me on all socials so this is the only place i can post abt him.

if a boy asks you to watch him play basketball and points out that he takes his shirt off does he like you or does he just want to hook up ☹️

[femmefatalevibe]

Guys tend to only see me and a girl who could be a best friend and never nothing more, it’s suck because sometimes I want to be seen as a girlfriend. What could help me to a stop being seen as like a girl friend, to being a actual girlfriend? 😕

Hi love! Ugh, this can be frustrating. It is not a nice feeling to not feel desired by those you're attracted to. Sometimes, the chemistry and attraction just aren't a match, and it's better to just be friends. However, for the times you sense a spark or feel sexual tension with someone, here are some tips to make your desirability more obvious to your object of affection:

Be more open and playful: Smile, laugh, and lightly touch their shoulder or arm in a playful, consensual manner. Make it clear you're open to a connection.

Show interest in their life: Hobbies, daily activities, career, values, etc.

Respond to messages/plans to hang out directly and promptly: Nothing makes you look more disinterested than ambivalent around hanging out

Send fun or thoughtful photos: I don't mean sexual, but about inside jokes, interesting things that happen throughout your day, meals or places they also enjoy, etc. Build the emotional connection

Compliment them: Their outfits, accomplishments, smile, intelligence, athletic capabilities, etc.

Ask engaging questions: About their friends, family, hobbies, career, life goals, etc.

Find ways to talk about their turn-ons: What they look for in other girls, such as the qualities, hobbies, values, lifestyle habits, etc. they've found really attractive or endearing, etc. This can help them picture you in this role if you're compatible and have mutual interests or allow you to know you're both better off as friends without having to go through the saga or looming insecurities that comes with an incompatible relationship.

Hope this helps xx

[fka-aj]

ISO BOY ADVICE

Ill try to explain this without too much extra bs.

So 3 years ago i met a guy from Grindr and we were attempting to do a fwb during COVID to limit interactions with others. It was ok initially but i found him insanely attractive and became increasingly anxious bc i couldn’t fathom someone that hot being interested in me. So much so that i had a very embarrassing panic attack mid-penetration. He actually handled it really well and we agreed to stay friends after.

So now we’ve been friends for 3 years and have def gotten closer. In this time he started dating a guy, but they recently broke up. I liked his bf and it was almost a nice block bc it was easier for me not to have feelings knowing he was in a committed relationship with a good guy.

I always struggled with having sexual and romantic and platonic feelings for him. He’s been an amazing friend and positive influence on my life, but now that he’s single again it’s hard not to think about being more than friends with him.

I feel like he’s not into me that way anymore, but it’s harder for me to be around him without being flirty. I really like him as a friend and would hate to jeopardize that, but it’s just so hard for me not to want to act. I feel like it’s unrealistic (we share the same name and have 7 yrs between us), but i can’t tell whether i need to just come clean and risk losing him or just work on mitigating these feelings to remain friends. We talk often but we haven’t spoke in a bit bc I’ve been so eaten up about this.

[jaesdolphin]

i need advice

okay guys✴️

so WHAT IF you were friends w a guy who had previously dated your friend

and then said guy confessed to you but later got back w your friend

but it’s been 2 months and he still hints and acts sus around you

it’s like we can never just be friends after he confessed

like when it’s just us two he acts so different and ugh i can’t explain

it’s not like i still like him but something is off

help

[ultimateboy]

ive been considering swapping from fortnite to a more adult game, but my parents say rainbow six siege is too adult for me :( 12m

Have a talk with your parents about swapping to more mature games. You need to let them know that you can be responsible, mentally well, and stable enough to play mature games. You have to prepare yourself to play with adults who are not as nice and forgiven as the ones in Fortnite.

If you can't convince your parents to get you Raindow Six Siege, I have some other games that I would recommend telling your parents about. Apex Legends and Halo are both family-friendly FPS games that I would mention to your parents if you can't get Rainbow Six Siege.

If both of these methods fail, you still have other options. For example, you can always go look in the custom games for more adult content, or you can go to roblox. Roblox has a lot of customs FPS games available that are like Raindow Six Siege and still being more mature than Fortnite.

Here are some affirmations to say/keep in mind while trying to swap from Fortnite:

I have the strength to break away from Fornite

My parents will listen and understand me

It's going to be okay

I can always try again

I am mature enough

[westsidedolly]

I feel like he does care for me in his own little fucked up way…. Ik for a fact he really wants me to b sober but it’s sooooo 🫥

[mikithehands]

akira's been acting really strange lately and im genuinely concerned for him. it's like he's hiding something from me. the fact that he's in gay love with his other friend? i know this already. he doesn't need to hide this from me! how should i talk to him about this?

[royaltea000]

he could not control the class 😔

[yet-another-heathen]

On conditioned whumpees...

Y'know, I think one of the things that people get wrong with conditioned whumpees is their rules. Specifically, when a whumpee was in long term captivity/training and they later get released or escape.

Most people write them as latching onto a caretaker or new whumper, and begging for new rules so they know they're doing something right. A new set of laws to live by, a new framework to behave to.

And that's... not really how conditioning works.

Conditioning means automatic reactions. Your body doing something that was trained into you without consulting your brain first.

There is no decision making. There is no choice. The trigger hits, and you are immediately performing the correct action regardless of anything else.

You're told to kneel? Your knees have already hit the ground. You're supposed to be standing in one part of the house when a certain noise is made? You've launched into movement before you even realize what you heard.

These rules are woven into the fabric of your body. And they are insurmountable. The conditioning overrides emotion, internal conflict, hesitation, beliefs, wants... everything.

Your whumpee may very well hate what is being done to them, and after the moment has passed they're cursing themself and their whumper. They're still a person on the inside. And that person is still very much alive. Most of the time, they will have some level of awareness that what's being done to them is wrong. They'll be angry. They'll be hurt. And they will hate that there is nothing they can do about it.

But the next time that trigger occurs, the response still hits them exactly the same.

So now take your whumpee out of that situation. They ran away, were rescued, were sold. They got out. Now they're with new people, a new caretaker, a new whumper. Or they're on their own and trying to make their own way in the world.

But those conditioned responses are still there.

There's no turning them off. You don't just replace them with new rules. They are in your every fibre. They have been built into the very framework of who you are.

The next time someone says the word "kneel", your knees are on the ground again. No matter where you are, or who you're with. The response happens before you can stop it. If they don't know why, everyone looks at you like you're insane. And you feel like you are.

Deconditioning is an agonizing process that takes more effort than I can even begin to describe to someone who's never experienced it.

Every time they hit that trigger, that response will still be there. Over, and over, and over, and over.

Breaking those rules down takes YEARS. And it is a constant effort that the whumpee has to choose to undergo every single time. Progress is measured milimeter by milimeter. You're told to kneel, and you kneel. You're told to kneel, and your mind catches up with the fact that you already did it— but a little sooner than it did before. Then a split second sooner. Then as you're doing it. Then you feel the impulse just before your knees hit the ground. Then you have a split-second of resistance before you go down. On and on and on and on, inching toward progress despite the fact that you're fighting with all your might. And that progress is anything but linear.

You don't just start obeying new rules. You don't latch on to your caretaker's new way of doing things and drop everything that you were conditioned to do before. These rules don't just get replaced.

Conditioning is not a belief system. It's a flinch response. Programmed deeper than the instincts you were born with.

You can be ordered not to obey the old command, and moments later when the trigger comes, you will anyway. Because in conditioning, the action comes before the choice.

These rules, these laws of your existence, come above everything else. And if your new whumper wants to replace them, they are going to have to beat the new rules into you so often and so severely that the pain becomes stronger than the old conditioning. At which point, the newly desired response will very, very slowly start to take over.

You're not swapping out new rules. You're layering new, worse conditioning on top of the old. And your brain will spend time stuck in that split-second between both responses before one finally grows stronger than the other. And even then, the change will not happen quickly.

That is what your conditioned whumpee is up against. That is what makes it such a horrible—HORRIBLE— and powerful tool.

[writerthreads]

Fantasy names ideas (with meanings!)

By Writerthreads on Instagram

I always have trouble coming up with names for side characters, so hopefully this can help you as much as it helped me! The names in brackets are additional ones that are similar.

Male Fantasy Names

Aldric – (Germanic) old ruler / wise ruler

Caelum – (Latin) sky / heaven

Druvan(/Dhruv) – (Sanskrit) steady / immovable

Fenris – (Norse) named after the mythical wolf Fenrir

Kaelen(/Kaelan) – (Celtic) warrior / mighty

Leofric – (Old English) beloved ruler

Maelor – (Welsh) prince / lord

Rurik – (Slavic) famous ruler

Torin – (Gaelic) chief / thunder

Zarion – (Hebrew) full of sadness

Baldric(/Balrik) – (Old Norse) mighty warrior

Garron – (Irish) strength / protection

Ithran – (Arabic) crowned / majestic

Jorah – (Hebrew) autumn rain / early rain

Oberon – (Germanic / French) noble bear, associated with royalty

Female Fantasy Names

Ariella – (Hebrew) lioness of God

Brienne – (Celtic) noble / strong

Elysande – (French) noble / gracious

Isolde – (Germanic / Celtic) ice ruler / beauty

Lyra – (Latin) derived from the constellation Lyra, lyre

Mirabel – (Latin) wonder

Seraphine – (Hebrew) burning one / angelic being

Taliyah – (Arabic) blooming / rising

Yvaine – (Old French) evening star

Althea – (Greek) healer / wholesome

Calantha – (Greek) beautiful flower

Elira – (Albanian) free spirit / liberated

Selene – (Greek) moon goddess / light of the moon

Eleanor – (Greek / French) shining light

Gender-Neutral Fantasy Names

Aeris – (Latin) air / ethereal

Elynor(/Aenor) – (Greek) light / shining

Lior – (Hebrew) my light

Orin – (Celtic) pale / fair

Rune – (Old Norse) secret / mystery

Selwyn – (Old English) good friend / companion

Vesper – (Latin) evening / evening star

Aenor – (Germanic) strength / honor

Ilan – (Hebrew) tree / oak

Soren – (Scandinavian) stern / severe

Next up, country name ideas?

[cosmicmagicbitch]

How do you not text him saying you miss him when you're aching to? I feel like it was such a fleeting amount of time but it burned so intensely that I accidentally fell for him.

He's staying back because he doesn't want to relapse in a relationship again, he knows his track record. I fell for him so hard.

[tea-luvr]

Tip!!

However many c4ls are in that snack, do that many jumping jacks and/or sit ups

[puppys-tiny-space]

🩷How to tell someone about your regression🩷

🧃This is just some tips on how to do it, aka how I usually do it. If another way works for you that's great! This is just some idea on how to do it and be comfortable with it!🧃

🩷videos and online resources, if you are shy about explaining it yourself there are some great Textposts and videos online that explain regression and what it is, I have some myself on my tik tok and Instagram (I'll link the TikTok below) and there is a short film on YouTube called "too little" that's awesome🩷

🧃explain, I like to start by explaining what agereggression is, or even ask if they know something about it already, sometimes they do and that can be a great point to work from🧃

🩷be open, be open about why you regress at least as much as you are comfortable, people are kess likely to react poorly if they know why and can understand it🩷

🧃text message, preparing a text message or letter in advance, maybe even with a friend or cg, can be super helpful, especially if you experience going nonverbal🧃

🩷be sure, do not open up to someone because you feel forced or scared, be sure you feel safe with the person and exposing such a vulnerable side to them, nobody is entitled to your safe space🩷

🧃test the water, I like to hint at regression and test the waters first, wearing jewelry with kiddo nicknames or similar on it or having merch from more well known brands, if someone recognizes them and asks about it you know there is base knowledge🧃

🩷open up, I like to let people know about my trauma and other trauma-responses first, once they are aware of certain things it helps with the talk later on as it won't be as much if a shock that you might have to cope in unconventional ways🩷

Fun fact of the day: it would take 19 minutes to fall to the center of the earth

[thatsbelievable]