#both these bands are really good and you should check them out if you havent already!

[andoutofharm]

Just wanted to share this article that was posted earlier today! Just seeing these women from different generations talk together about their experiences in music and in the world in general was very cool to read.

[hyewka]

or can u suggest any txt fic here (preferably the long ones w chapters) that u enjoyed?

sorry for the extremely extremely late reply but i’ll list some long fics + txt series’s that ive enjoyed with some comments attached to each one. spoiler alert, a completed txt series is pretty hard to find lol

series

lover = lo$er (sub!gyu, virgin fic)

it would be easy to just straight up recommend every @/wildernessuntothemselves series and i might just succumb to that later on but this is pure submissive beomgyu heaven, served as my first real awakening and i would probably attribute most of my sub gyu writing to this fic alone. 10/10, has a love triangle bit and beomgyus kind of insane

criminal conscience (dom!gyu, crime au)

on the other side of the spectrum, this is pussy clenching dom beomgyu goodness and i dont think it gets better than this. the writing is so compelling it fully immerses you in the narrative, even im getting sucked in to beomgyu’s manipulation (whats new really), blaring red flags and all. its currently on hiatus though but i would catch up either way beomiracles is a pretty consistent writer, she’d probably pick it up sooner or later :)

mosquito (soobin)

sorry this is going to be all over the place lol but this is also still ongoing (its only two parts in) but this writer is absolutely insane. narrative feels fleshed out and though it mainly follows soobin’s perspective and feelings, i am quite enjoying it so far. it has some idol x idol action as well, not the main focus of course but it is written in detail

one way (dom!beomgyu, themes of sadism)

this ones a three parter and its completed. by the same writer mentioned previously (soobrat), very very good storytelling, keeps you on your toes and has a hold on your emotions but like mentioned, it has a bit of an extremity in the smut and it is undeniably toxic but its good

sneaky link (dom yeonjun, the other woman trope)

i havent read this in a while but i remember staying up all night reading all of it lol. i would probably not recommend this to people who really cant read infidelity since thats what the fic is based around but it isnt cast in a very favorable light anyway. really toxic, seriously good

fuck you series (sub gyu, enemies to lovers, band au)

its really cute and the e2l set up is believable enough since theyre band rivals. beomgyu is so so so cute in this even if a little insufferable to mc lol. i would also recommend fairyofshampgyu’s now live series but its currently on an indefinite hiatus (its sooo good as well though so if youre willing, you should check it out)

nabi (best friends to lovers beomgyu, no smut)

two parts in, not completed but im following it currently and god i love them together their dynamic is soooo fun to read, you wont get bored

jerk! (enemies to lovers, beomgyu fic, no smut)

its another band au and its also ongoing. there isnt a consistent update schedule so that might be a minus but the most recent chapter was from a month ago so its safe to say it hasnt been left in the dust (thank god). very very good writing, excited to see how their relationship takes off

bullying choi soobin (sub soobin)

submissive soobin and its good, of course im recommending this. its finished and a 4 parter

sugar (dom!yeonjun, dom!gyu)

unfortunately probably forever incomplete but i love it and i might actually go back to reading it for the third time

let me into your world (non smut beomgyu series)

i havent read a soulmate premise in sooo long so this was refreshing to read, good stuff

supermodel (dom gyu and sub i believe)

its just. Amazing. a two parter but a goodie

the city that never sleeps (bsf smut)

also two parts but both parts are pretty long, really good stuff

ok for the life of me i cannot find this one huening series where he was getting bullied by reader and they were secretly fucking?? that one was literally perfect submissive men shit so if you find it if youve struck gold

long full fics (6k+)

telepathy (fantasy, dom!gyu)

a little out of the box compared to all the fics ive recommended so far and thats what makes it so special and good

duality (dom!kai)

i actually havent read this one yet but i will soon, i just thought id add it here anyway since i know ill love it

killer instinct (taehyun fic)

very plot heavy and it centers taehyun mainly. i could go ahead and cheat and just list out every single koqabear fic lmao but this ones a gem, very happy i set aside the time to read it

the redemption of choi yeonjun (dom!yj)

im not personally a fan of the trope but when it was originally teased the smut sounded heavenly and honestly, it is. such a good dom yeonjun here but beware hes a little (a lot) mean lol. he changes by the end

like cat and mouse! (sub gyu, inexperienced)

again, worth the reading time investment. i love submissive gyu, he is everything here and more

love love love (sub gyu, royal au)

i have probably read this a total of 30 times

i hate you (enemy!beomgyu, dom beomgyu)

ok sorry im cheating here a bit this isnt long but its so good you should check it out anyway

[caluski]

@moldavite tagged me to post my current music faves (thank u kalli a big fucking MWAH goes out to u in this gloomy april evening) so yay!!! i love posting spotify links of course... more belowww. trying so hard for everyone to only post things i havent shared before... trying!!

obviously justice is on repeat - both incognito and saturnine, but im putting here incognito bc it does have the coolest intro and outro everrr like ouuughhhh like justice goes so fucking hard when they choose to have some retro synths................ actually have you listened to planisphere today? you should (talking to everyone)

i havent actually talked about my thoughts on khruangbins new album... which is obviously good but i simply didnt have the time to get into it :/ ive been hoping to give it a good listen, no skips no nothing, on a day off but work has been kicking my ass a bittt... anyway! Pon pón is fun. it came out as a single few weeks back and ive gotten really into it.... sooooo groovy

vampire by sholto is what some of you might recognize from love and food playlist? but ohhhhhh fuckkkkkkk its so good. i dont even know this guy and i didnt think much of it other than "yeah its cool" when i added it to my library. such a great and sinister feeling jazzy number.... AND WHEN THE SAX HITS!!!!!!!!! thats so good. please listen to vampire.

more radio pop!!!!! MORE MAINSTREAM KEVIN PARKER!!!!!!!! i do love tame impala's older/more niche sound just as much as i love him "selling out" (whatever, i will defend his minions and elvis tracks until i die and i will MEAN it) so i am STILL excited for this album even though the roll-out of singles has been consistently awful. but i guess dua lipa is a slow riser always (however long did it take her to peak on charts with 'dont start now'???). plus obviously DANNY!!!!!! YAY FOR DANNY!!!!!

its been a really good spring so far, with so many of my faves releasing music, and obviously that includes sebastian. i remember watching the runway show this was made for, but for some reason i didnt hear the whole track - maybe it was just highlights or something? i really love the synths in this one. its unusual for him to bring the choral singing in the start instead of the climax of the track, but its really well done (as always)! i wish, i wiiiiiiiiish there was something happening about the new album, too.

charli's really being weird recently about everything but goddddddd this slaps so good. im usually not that big on gesaffelstein but i do love ag cook so much. its going to be such a good clubbing record like literally.... its crazy she STILL gets labeled hyperpop. i also like club classics, but b2b is TRULY superior out of this double drop....

the beat of this one is just stuck in my head at all times. its cute! fun! perfect for spring. theyre soon to release their debut album, i need to remember to check it out. while its not SOTY material so far, its just cool and pleasant.

more dance sounds - i like this one a lot! really catchy. ive never really been into 1tbsp but yeahhhhh with this one, i get it.

ok i for sure posted this one before, but its ok bc it got like 0 or 1 likes or something. starwolf is a band im really hopeful for!!!! their 2020 album was pretty interesting, but its their three last singles that got my ears all perked up. some daytime disco vibes in them, and its really cool considering i was somewhat.... underwhelmed by poolside's last album. so, i feel good about starwolf now! fingers crossed for summer, as it would be a perrrrrrrfect record to replay over and over during hot sunny days.

and SUUUUUUUUUUUCHHHHHHHHH a spring favorite for the end. kind of getting lost in this one.... number one song i keep thinking of during sweet sunny walks recently. unbelievably cute. 10000% recommend.

[meanhoeforcb97]

~•20:09pm•~

Pairing: Soft!Dom! Felix x Chubby!Hairy!Fem! Reader

Genre: Smut, some fluff

Warnings: Not! Shaved reader, shaved felix, mentions of insecurities, reader doesnt believe shes good enough, oral (f), fingering (f), nicknames (angel, love), unprotected sex (dont be silly wrap your willy) Felix is very soft and reassuring in general and stops multiple times to make sure y/n is alright lmk if I'm missing anything

Requested: No

Words: 4.5k

Note: this is not proof read, excuse my mistakes

You were on your phone when you heard the door of your apartment opening, even though you were focused on your boyfriend's latest performance video, just the thought that it might be him at the door made you quickly pause it and look at the door of your bedroom. Soon enough Felix's silver hair popped out of the dark hallway with a huge smile plastered on his face.

He was still in the same clothes he wore while filming but his make up had already been removed by his stylists.

He looked ethereal with his hair pulled back making his beautiful features all the more noticable, including his adorable freckles that were out in the open for you to admire. His body was covered by a pair of leather pants and a white dress shirt with a sleeveless blue jacket on top. Various earrings were adorning his ears and rings on his fingers. You almost jumped up to greet him but he was quick to cup your face and kiss you lovingly, your phone falling from your grip somewhere to the side. You giggled after he pulled back "Hello." He said almost breathlessly and you smiled widely "Hey.." And another kiss.

Kiss after kiss you found him sitting on your lap while you two were making out when his hardening cock suddenly pressed up against your stomach making him moan into your kiss and you quickly pulled back and placed your hands on his chest pushing him away slightly. Felix looked at you concerned as he got off and examined your panicked expression.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked and you gulped. "I-I cant do it today!" You let out embarrased. "Oh shit!" He let out in half realization hitting his forehead lightly, "Are you on your period love? Do you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?" He asked caressing your stomach tenderly and you blushed madly while shaking your head slightly pushing his hand away from your stomach out of embarrassment.

"What is it angel?" Felix asked his deep voice making heat rush through your entire body and juices to leak onto your panties.

"I-I havent shaved... down there.." You let out, your face burning from embarrassment. He looked at you quite dumbfounded eyes widened and lips slightly apart. "That's....it?" He asked cautiously and when you shyly nodded and rubbed your forearms a few times out of embarrassment and awkwardness he could only chuckle. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear and caressed your cheek softly.

"Baby, you know I dont give a fuck about whether you shaved or not, right? It's your body and even the fact that you let me connect with you through it means the world to me. Okay angel?" He asked with a small smile lingering on his lips that only got wider when you pouted slightly.

"B-but, I bet my ass that you are as hairless as a newborn baby under those fancy leather pants of yours." You whined pointing at his cock through his trousers. He blushed slightly as he laughed at your cute expressions. "Well yeah, because that's what I like and what makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. If you didnt wanna shave it means you don't need it!" Felix said as he softly caressed your cheek again and you leaned into his touch loving the feeling of his cold hands against your warm face.

He leaned in and captured your lips between his own initiating a passionate kiss which soon enough turned into a messy make out session. He pulled you closer by the waist until your chest was flush against his own. The position was borderline uncomfortable as you were both sitting next to each other and turning and twisting your bodies so you could face each other on your shared bed. His hand snaked it's way from your face down to your chest, then to your waist and lastly on your thigh as he pulled you on top of him and without much thought you complied.

Straddling his lap, his bulge that was growing with your every movement pressed against your inner thigh and he groaned into your lips. Panicking again you pulled back to check on him, he was panting heavily and looking at you as confused as you were—maybe more. "D-did I hurt you? Am i too heavy?" You asked raising your hips off of his. "W-what? No! Why would you think that?" He asked in disbelief pushing you down on him and you blushed again. "I dont know.. I'm just so big and heavy and I thought I hurt you.." You said avoiding his gaze but glancing back at him every few seconds. "Angel, we've had sex a million times now and you still dont know how it works?" Felix cooed at you almost mockingly as if he was talking to a child, the indirect degradation making you soak your panties as you whined at him.

Kissing again he started removing your clothes and you helped him remove his own. When you were in your bra and sweatpants and he was only in his leather pants, he pulled back from your mouth to admire you. His hands trailed up your thighs to your waist as his thumbs caressed your stomach, and he dived into you chest as he kissed, licked and sucked on every bit of flesh he could find at that very moment. You were a moaning mess, every single hickey making you more sensitive than the last, his hands on your sides never going unnoticed.

Pulling back from your collarbone, a string of saliva connected your marked up body to his wet and kiss-swollen lips making you lick your own at the beautiful sight. Felix held your waist tightly and his muscles flexed under your grip when he flipped you around making you yelp. "Lix.. dont do that, you know I'm too heavy." You pouted at him and only smiled down at you, "Weight is just a meaningless number to me, angel." He said before kissing you again, his hands traveling up your stomach caressing your tummy and snaking their way up to your covered breasts.

Caressing over the sensitive nipples through the fabric of your bra made you whimper quietly and grab onto his forearms tightly. Sliding them all the way to the back, you arched your body off the bed helping Felix take off the unwanted piece of clothing. His lips immediately attached themselves on your right nipple while his hand tugged and rubbed on the left one. After a few moments of you moaning and threading your fingers through his hair he switches to the other breast repeating his motions.

"F-Felix.. m-more!" You cried out as you felt your wet cunt pulse at just the mere thought of his cock inside of you. He hummed against your breast making a soft moan slip from between your lips. "Does my baby need me? How bad do you need me angel?" Felix pulled away from your chest to look you in the eye with that soft mocking look as if he's talking to a child again. You whined at the sweet degradation making you hot all over again, hiding your face behind your hands you nodded and he chuckled. "I asked you a question angel, how bad do you need me?" He repeated and with a shaky voice you replied, still not looking at him. "R-really really bad L-Lix. I need you to fill me up with your beautiful cock." You moaned out without even thinking before speaking. Felix groaned and quickly tagged your sweats off your legs and threw them somehwere across the room. Trailing his cold hands against the warm skin of your thighs up to your hips where he caressed your stomach. His hands lingered on the stretch marks on your inner thighs as he kneaded the soft skin. "You're so fucking beautiful baby. You make me wanna eat you up." He groaned into your stomach as he left multiple kisses at the swell of it. Finally moving down where you need him most he rubbed you through the thin material of your panties with his thumb making you moan at the tiny yet delicious sparks of pleasure. Placing a lingering kiss right on your clit made a breathy moan escape your lips and your head to fall back on the soft pillows. Felix hummed against your heat making you shiver from the vibrations, "I love your sounds more than anything angel, I love how needy you sound. Who do you make these sounds for my love?" He said, his hot breath was tingling your pussy as he was only a few millimeters away from touching it again. "For you, only you Felix!" You said more like whined as you let your hands find their way into his beautiful silver locks. They were still tightly held together by hairspray making them rough to the touch and quite hard to get your hands through. Gently and carefully you started brushing your fingers through his hair breaking the hair apart and making it soft and loose again. He sighed in content against your clit making you slightly tug on the silver locks emitting a moan from him. He hooked his ring filled fingers under te elastic band of your cotton panties slowly sliding them down the curve of your hips, his eyes remained glued to your face watching your expressions for any sign of discomfort.

After your earlier talk even though he wanted to prove that it actually didnt bother him at all, if it was bothering you he should stop. After all that's what partners do for their significant other, shower them with love and affection and listen to their worries as to not cause them any discomfort. When all he saw was desperation in your eyes as you bit your lower lip he smirked and slid the thin material off your legs. At that very moment the realization of your hairy core being in full display right in front of Felix' face seeped in through your horny mind making you snap out of your trance with a gasp and close your thighs. Before your hands could leave his hair to cover yourself he was alreay spreading you apart all over again.

He propped himself up on his knees to look at you, your legs spread apart and your hands now holding his wrists placed on either side of your inner thighs.

"Babe, we need to get this out of the way because I cant do this without knowing you're alright, okay?" He asked and understanding what he meant you nodded. "Are you just shy and embarrassed or are you genuinely uncomfortable with me touching you? Because I swear if you genuinely dont want to do this today I will stop right here right now. You know you're much more important than my needy cock right? I will stop at any moment for you angel, I just need you to be clear with me." He said as he caressed your cheek softly with his ring-filled warm hands.

The contrast between his warm skin and the ice cold jewellery was comforting. The rings cooled your heated skin down while his natural warmth made you feel like home. God you love this man with all your heart. You realised you were tearing up and so your grip on his wrists loosened as you brought both of your hands to cover you face as you silently cried.

Felix pouted, he didnt mean to make you cry, he didnt even know why you were crying but it made him sad.

"No no no no no!" He exclaimed in his soft calming voice as he caressed his way up to your arms and holding your hands over your face gently. As if you were fragile glass capable of breaking at any moment he ever so slight pulled your hands away from your face just enough to meet your teary gaze.

"Why are you crying baby? Did I do something wrong?" Felix asked with concern–filled eyes and god you wanted to punch him so bad. You scoffed through your shaky breaths as you wiped a few tears away. "You're too good for me Felix. Way too fucking good." You say, voice soft and weak, afraid that if you spoke up it would break from crying.

"Its what you deserve baby," he caresses your face softly and one hand slides to your thigh again caressing it. "you deserve all the best." He says as he leans in to capture your lips in a sweet loving kiss. Pulling away Felix looked into your eyes again, "Angel do you want to do this?" He asked again and your heart swelled with love for this perfect man in front of you. "Fuck Felix, I do. You're the only person that could ever make me feel this beautiful." You muttered out almost inaudibly out of embarrassment. He smiled his famous sunshine smile before kissing your lips shortly and moving down to your core again.

His mouth attached itself on your lower lips, your folds already glistening with arousal. One hand found yours and intertwined your fingers with his while the other one spread your pussy apart to grant himself better access. Leaving an open mouthed kiss, your breath hitched in your throat for a split second. Poking his tongue out he left kitten licks against your slit as if testing the waters. When he felt your grip tighten around his hand he decided to take it a step further as he laid his tongue flat against your entrance licking all the way up to your clit. Little hairs poked against his tongue making the sensation quite unfamiliar and strange but welcome nonetheless, because when he heard the beautiful moan that escaped your lips he'd swear he was in heaven — or hell most likely. But he couldnt care less if he was going to hell after this, nothing mattered but you, you, you, you.

His lips found your clit easily as he lightly sucked on the sensitive bundle of nerves making your legs twitch out of instinct and wrap around his head. He moaned against your core making you moan in return and your thighs to tighten their grip around him.

The hot muscle guided itself into your cavern. The friction against your wet walls making you whine, the hand that was previously covering your mouth tangling along his silver locks. His nose touched your pelvis with every thrust of his tongue making his nose slightly tickle from the hair, he could only smile at the feeling before pulling his tongue out and attaching his lips back to your clit.

He squeezed your hand in his lightly before retrieving it and placing both of his hands on either of your thighs, spreading them apart once again. When he figured your legs were open enough for him he guided his right hand at your entrance, his eyes never leaving your face. His middle finger teased against your slit collecting your arousal before slowly entering you. He could only bite his lip at the blissful expression occupying your beautiful face and he could swear to God he had never witnessed anything more beautiful than you. "F-felix!" You moaned out his name like a mantra and the man smiled against your thigh. "Does it feel good angel?" He asked placing a quick kiss against your clit before pulling back again to watch you. You could only nod desperately and clutch on his hair harder making him moan.

"How about now, how does this make you feel?" He asked adding a second finger into your tight pussy with the help of your natural lube. You threw your head back and pulled him closer to your core. "So good oh my god, so fuckjng good!" You exclaimed, your voice reaching barely lower than a scream. "Good." He let out before diving back into your heat. His tongue and his teeth took turns torturing your clit in the most pleasurable way possible.

The pleasure was beginning to to get too much as you felt yourself drift into cloud 9, your high arriving quickly. "F-felix I'm– Ah I–" was all you managed to say as you failed miserably at trying to warn him. And with one strong suck on your clit from him your high came crushing upon you. Your juices coated Felix's fingers and mouth and you spasmed on the bed moaning and whining uncontrollably. Felix helped you ride out your orgasm by slowing down his fingers until they came to an eventual stop and his tongue licked against your core very lightly until you whined at him to pull away.

He smiled and moved up your body until your faces were mere centimeters apart. He used his thumb to collect your arousal dripping on his chin and pushed it into his own mouth humming in satisfaction, "You're so delicious angel." he smiled teasingly. You whined at his words and at the sight, bringing your hands up to hide your face. He laughed and brought himself up to lay next to you. You turned towards him confused, "Felix.." You muttered as you slowly turned towards him, chest still panting from your previous orgasm. "Yes love?" He asked also turning to face you, his beautiful smile never leaving his handsome face. "You didnt cum.. actually you never even took it out of your pants." You exclaimed in realization pouting at him, he smiled even more widely at that letting out a chuckle.

"Its okay angel dont worry about me okay? You already came so it's all that matters alright?" He said with that overly sweet smile and you knew it wasnt alright, you knew he wished he could just cum by fucking you and not by his hand; and you did too. "No Felix, I want to help." You said as you raised yourself up and positioned yourself over the rough fabric of the leather. The cold sensation it gave off making shivers run down your spine. Your hands traveled over his heavily clothed erection making sure your touches were feather light, making his breath hitch in his throat and his hips twitch beneath you.

"Fuck dont tease me y/n I'm already painfully turned on and you know that." He panted out, his breaths heavy and voice ruspy from want. You nodded with a small smile knowing you caused this; your ego being boosted over the roof.

Unbuckling his belt you took your time undoing his buttons, wanting to see how long his patient and sweet facade could last before he was completely engulfed by lust and took matters into his own hands. He raised an arm to rest over his face his hooded eyes still fixed on you. His plump bottom lip was caged between his teeth making the already red (from previoys activities) skin a darker shade. His first was clenched and you could tell he was close. Close to giving up the battle between his want: to be as gentle with you as possible and let you take your time and need: to flip you over and fuck the living daylights out of you. His self control was running thin and even though you fed off of his reactions you took pity in him knowing he'd be upset at himself if he lost control. So with that thought in mind you pulled the zipper down revealing the top of his boxers and you felt giddy at the thought of his cock alone. A low groan left his lips as he raised himself up. "That's it I cant take this anymore" he grumbled, his already low voice going an octave lower. He placed both his hands on your waist and flipped you both over so he was standing between your open legs. He got off the bed momentarily to shrug his pants down, the only pieces of clothing separating him from you. "I have you naked and looking Oh so gorgeous right in front of me and I couldnt do anything" he continues to ramble to himself throwing the clothes somewhere inside your bedroom. "Imagine how hard it was having your perfect body all aroused for me like this and I couldn't even take it out of my pants." He said and at this point you werent even listening, your eyes staring at his perfect cock. It was impossibly hard, the tip an angry red color and already oozing precum. "I cant believe I have such a huge effect on you." You held yourself up on your elbows and muttered out and he immediately stopped rambling. "What?" He asked dumbfounded. You glanced up to meet his eyes and back at his dick and back up into his eyes again, this time maintaining eye contact. "I just cant believe that I can make you so hard that you are already dripping precum without a single touch." You repeated, awe obvious in your tone of voice.

Felix smiled and moved on the bed again settling himself between your thighs and pushing you to lay back again, nazzling his nose with yours. "I've already told you you're the most beautiful person in this entire world how could I resist?" He said as he kissed you again. "You know baby, I really love the small talk but i really fucking need to cum." He reminded you and you chuckled as you reached down between your bodies to touch his dick.

Your fingers barely traced the underside of his shaft and he sighed out in content at the small touch. You looked up at him with lust filled eyes, "Why dont you do something about it then?" You challenged and he smirked chuckling slightly. "Your wish, my command." He said and kissed your lips. Balancing his weight on his left arm, his right arm caressed the curve of your breast down to your waist and slid across your stomach to your heat. Rubbing a few circles on your entrance, he tested the waters before grabbing his cock in his hand and guiding it to your pussy replacing his fingers. You could only moan in his mouth, finally feeling his cock on you felt amazing, you couldnt wait for him to do more. Spreading your legs as wide as you possibly could underneath him you pulled back from the kiss catching your breath. "Felix~ please.." you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck and thrusted your naked hips up to meet his equally naked ones. He groaned and repeated the same phrase from earlier "You wish, my command." He kissed you on the lips one last time before finally pushing the head of his cock inside your pussy. You moaned out at the familiar feeling that you hadnt felt for a while, his busy schedule making it harder for the two of you to have any alone time recently.

Kissing along the side of your face his lips drew their path down to your collarbones with blooming hickeys. "F-felix that's so unfair." You intended it to sound more stern but it could only come out as a breathy moan as he worked his way to bottoming out. "What's unfair love?" He asked pulling back from your neck momentarily. "Y-you keep leaving hickeys everywhere and I'll have to cover them to go to work b-but I cant do the same cause e-even if you cover them it's too dangerous with all your f-fans" You moaned and at that moment his balls touched your ass and he stopped moving letting you get accustomed to the stretch his dick offered you. "I-I know how much you love doing that y/n and believe me I do too, but unfortunately that's g-gonna have to wait for my break. I'm all yours then." He said, his voice equally unstable from feeling your tight walls construct against his cock.

"I cant wait then." You said pulling his head down and giving him a long passionate kiss.

"Felix, please move!" After a few moments of kissing that was the first thing that escaped your lips other than silent whimpers. He moaned at the blatant order and started pulling his dick out to the point only the tip remained inside you before slipping it back inside all the way in slow powerful thrusts. You instantly became a moaning mess as your nails dug into his shoulders, the slight pain feeling way too good. "Remeber baby, no marks.." He panted as he kissed your cheek and you nodded your head quickly. "I-i cant help it, you feel so good!" You moaned out and he groaned in return. "I know baby, you're clenching around my dick like crazy" he replied in a breathy voice.

Suddenly a particularly hard thrust had your back arching of the bed and your legs quivering. "Oh my God Felix, right there!" You moaned out as your wrapped your legs around his waist bringing him incredibly closer to you. He moaned at the feeling of reaching even deeper inside you and he did his best to hit that spot that would make your body spasm in pleasure. And boy, he was doing a great job.

You continusly and unconsciously clenched around his length emitting moans and groans out of him. Soon you felt the familiar knot of release in the pit of your stomach and you pulled his upper body even closer to yours so your chests could meet. "I-im cumming Oh my God please Felix dont stop!" You moaned out loudly and he groaned at your words also feeling his release coming closer and closer with every thrust. Suddenly you were cumming around his dick, you're body shaking and your throat aching from moaning so loudly, the intimacy of the situation and the uncontrollable clench around him made him cum inside of you soon after painting your walls white with his essence.

After a couple more thrusts that aided the both of you to ride your highs, he pulled out and let his body fall limb next to yours.

"Fuck baby that was amazing, please dont underestimate yourself." He said basically giving you heart eyes, the after glow on his face making him look even more ethereal. "If it means we get to do this everytime I might do just that." You said with a giggle and he also chuckled and pulled you close to his chest, engulfing you in his warm embrace. "Let's sleep angel, I'm too fucking tired." He said finishing his sentence with a yawn. You nodded against his chest as you pulled the covers over the both of you. "I know baby, you did great today, I'm so proud of you." Referring to both his musical and sexual performances.

And with that you both drifted into a dreamless sleep with only thoughts of each other occupying your minds.

[robinrunsfiction]

A Long Way Home - Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!

As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.

It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.

Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.

Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.

Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.

Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story.  He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"

‘Where are you?’

The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.

‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’

‘Wanna hang out in my room?’

(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.

‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.

“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.

"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.

"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"

"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."

“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.

"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.

(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”

"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."

"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."

Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."

"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.

She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."

"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.

"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.

"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.

"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.

Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”

She nodded. “Ok, fine.”

~

The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.

‘Ok, you can come back now’

‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’

‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’

She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’

“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.

“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”

“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.

"I'd love that," he replied softly.

"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.

He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.

Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.

~

From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.

“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.

“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.

“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”

“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.

The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.

~

“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."

“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.

"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.

"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."

"What?! Why?"

"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.

(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.

Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”

“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

“Anytime.”

She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.

~

Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.

"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.

"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."

"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."

"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.

"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.

"Yea, that was something else.”

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."

"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.

"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."

Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."

"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.

"Remember what got you through back then?"

A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.

That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”

The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”

The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.

“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.

I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?

The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.

After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.

"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.

(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.

“Not him.”

"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.

“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"

"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"

"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent  nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."

"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"

“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"

"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.

"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.

Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"

(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."

~

The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near  the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.

(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.

She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.

As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?

That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.

As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.

Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.

"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"

"Liam told me.”

"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.

"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.

“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”

(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”

“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.

“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.

“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”

His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"

"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.

Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.

When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.

“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.

They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.

“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.

“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.

“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.

“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.

When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”

(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.

“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.

“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.

“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.

“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.

“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.

“We’re together,” she blushed.

“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.

“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.

When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.

“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.

[dearyams]

wanted to send you a prompt i was gonna do but i am too lazy prompt: mike and will have been dating but havent said i love you, mike is going on some trip for a week where cell phones dont work (obv future fic) and so Byeler is having a phone convo before mike arrives at his destination and they wont be able to talk to each other a week and will says tells mike he loves him but before mike can respond the phone disconnects as Mike arrives at the destinationn

[ crossposted on AO3 ]

“Finished packing yet?”

Mike turns from his suitcase and the clothes piles spread about the floor in his room and grins when he spots Will leaning on the doorframe a few feet away. He’s got two iced coffee cups in hand, indicative of finishing his part-time hours at the local coffee shop a few blocks north from the Byers residence. Mike wonders if Will biked his way over or took a lift with his brother to come visit before the Wheelers make their way on an impromptu trip to upstate New York at a cabin his dad had recently inherited.

The kneeling boy waves his hands at the disorderly state surrounding him and shrugs. “I’m trying and failing at packing the right clothes for this venture, I’ll say that.”

Will chuckles and walks fully into the room. He passes along Mike’s coffee, shoving around haphazardly folded pants to find a seat on the floor beside the other boy. Mike watches him grab a sweater and toss it aside. “It’s summer so you don’t need to pack heavy. Just grab some t-shirts and jeans; that should do. Shorts too if you’d like.”

“Sure,” sighs Mike before sipping from his cup. “I don’t want to make the visit miserable if I’m wearing the wrong clothes. Wrong for the weather and wrong for looking tolerable in the photos I know Mom is gonna force on me.”

Will laughs, a gentle breeze in the summer’s heat. “You’ll look good in whatever you put on.”

“As my boyfriend, you’re kind of obligated to say that.”

“Not really.” the brunette leans in to kiss Mike’s cheek. “I’ll let you know when you look bad if only for the sake of my own eyes.”

“And when you won’t be next to me, how will you judge my outfits properly?”

Will checks his watch and hums. “When’s your departure? If you have time, you can try out some of the outfits and I’ll let you know what works.”

Mike grins as he reaches over Will’s lap and snags a band t-shirt. “Sneaky aren’t you; tryna get me undressed.”

“I’ll cover my eyes.” Will places his unoccupied hand over his eyes but spreads his fingers between his middle and ring fingers to peek through the opening. Mike scoffs, tossing a stray pair of shorts at his face which makes the brunette laugh heartily. Mike already misses Will, the knowledge that they’ll be separated for a week squeezing his heart dry with romantic despair. He wishes Will could come with but the trip was pretty unplanned and though Mike's “job” as a blog writer and editor doesn’t require a remote location, Will’s job doesn’t allow the same ease when taking off work.

(Though Mike thinks he’ll probably still be working offline on an article if his mom doesn’t steal his laptop for “family bonding in the forest” time.)

Mike’s sudden fashion show lasts for about an hour and while Will does offer good input, most of that hour is spent playing around and Mike sneaking in as many kisses as they can get away with whenever Mike peels off a shirt and struggles to get his head through the tight collar of another. Afterwards, Will helps finish packing and when completed, they lounge about on Mike’s bed as Will discusses the customers he met earlier in the day.

Though he knows packing just mere hours before departure isn’t a habit he should develop, especially when the plans for his career require frequent traveling, he spent the night before editing a movie review scheduled for posting during the drive. Mike doesn’t regret his momentary time mismanagement if it means he spends more time with Will before the trip. The article can wait—he’s posting it early anyway—but time spent with his boyfriend is always coveted.

When Mike’s mom knocks on the door, Will pulls away from Mike’s chest where he rested his head as they page through Mike’s hard copy of The Golden Compass which he wanted to review in line with the show’s release. Shaking his head and straightening his hair as best as possible, Mike struts to his door and opens it with raised eyebrows. His mom looks up from checking her phone and offers Mike a tight smile before looking past him to wave at Will.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you two,” she starts warmly, “but Mike, we have to get going soon. The traffic through the city is getting dense thanks to an accident on the 70.”

“Got it,” replies Mike as he turns back to Will, who walks to his side with both their empty cups in hand. “I’ll see you in a few days, Byers.”

“‘Course.” Will grins and leans up to press a gentle kiss to Mike’s cheek. “Call me when you’re getting close to your destination.”

“Sure, worrywart,” he teases but turns his face to kiss Will’s lips one last time before he has to depart. He watches Will nod bashfully at his mom and give her a short goodbye before making his way downstairs. Mike doesn’t look away until he hears the front door closing and then he casts his gaze on his mom. “Are Dad, Nancy, and Holly waiting outside?”

“Yes,” she nods toward the front of the house. “We’ll all just waiting on you now.”

It doesn’t take long for Mike to join his family at the car, and as his dad pulls out the driveway, Mike turns in the direction of the Byers and smiles when he sees Will on his bike a little ways down the road watching. He sticks his hand out the window, his wave only growing more frantic when Will waves back. Holly giggles and Nancy makes a side comment about love sick teenagers as if she wasn’t one herself during her escapades with Steve, Jonathan, and now Robin. The first hour and a half fills with Holly saying “moo” every time they pass a cow on the way to the interstate and Mike feels like smashing his head against his window when they pass a farm and Holly moos until she nearly passes out. Pulling out his phone, Mike shoots Will a selfie of himself despondently looking out the window and groans when his cell service takes its sweet time sending the message along. Mike gets a reply a reply twenty minutes later: Will laughing at his misery with a short additional, “you’ll be there before you know it,” and a bunch of kiss emojis.

The next hour passes with Mike flipping through his ever growing Will gallery, a digital photo album filled with selfies and candid shots of Will, both solo and with Mike. He’s not one for being in photos himself but Will manages to drag him into a few selfies here and there. He doesn’t mind snapping a selfie either by himself or together—cheeks squished as they both attempt to fit in the frame as Mike holds the phone up and out—because Will always asks him to send the photo along and then makes it his lock screen until the next time he convinces Mike it’s photo time.

After settling on a candid shot Mike snapped when he and Will visited Lovers’ Lake and the sun framed Will like a bright halo of fire, Mike settles on playing a mobile game for about another two hours before staring out the window until the trees blend together and his eyes find themselves sliding shut. He wakes up a few times here and there when the family stops at gas stations and picks up snacks—he definitely remembers his mom arguing with his dad about stopping at a hotel which they ultimately don’t do—but he wakes up for the final time to his phone buzzing in his lap, startling him out of a dream he quickly forgets upon waking. Caller ID tags the number as Will and he immediately answers as he scrambles for his headphones in his pocket.

“Hey,” he begins, shoving the headphone plug into the slot at the bottom of the device, “Is everything okay back home?”

“Everything’s great,” Will’s voice crackles on the line and Mike peaks outside in the darkness to notice the forest surrounding him. They must be close to the cabin destination already. He didn’t think he had slept for that long. “Just checking in since it’s about time you’ve arrived if your dad didn’t take a rest.”

Mike laughs. “You’re cute, you know, checking up on me like this.” He hears Nancy snorting and reaches over Holly to pinch her bare arm. She glares at him and covers Holly’s eyes to flip him off. “Nancy says hello by the way.”

“Hello back to her.” Mike can hear Will’s grin and his heart clenches in sorrow at the current distance between them. “Are you doing okay there?”

“Yeah, peachy.” Mike yawns and covers his mouth. “Is it too cheesy to say I already miss you?”

“Maybe, but I miss you, too, so you don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

A sleepy smile curls itself on Mike’s lips. “One week, Byers; one week and then I’m back.”

“Yeah, but don’t spend your time counting down the days, alright? I’ll do that for us both; you just have a great time at the cabin.”

Mike would kiss him if he could. “I’ll try my best but you know how my brain works.”

“Are you telling me it actually does work?”

“I’m breaking up with you.” Will laughs heartily. “Why are you laughing; I’m serious this time.”

“Sure, Wheeler.” Mike frowns as the last bit of his name gets caught in static. “Hey, I know this is probably something that should wait until you’re back but this separation made me realize I should tell you either way.”

“This sounds pretty important.”

“Yeah. I, uh, you probably already know this though but,” and Will takes a deep breath and releases it, though Mike hears it in short, split crackles. “Mike, I love you.”

The clarity in those four words stuns Mike into speechlessness and his mouth dries as his heart thumps speedily in his chest. Will is right, Mike already knows Will loves him, but this is the first time Will has ever said the fact out loud. I love you echoes in Mike’s head at the reverb levels of a rock guitarist. It takes far too long for his brain to come back online, but by the time it does, the car speeds past a brush of trees and the call suddenly drops. Mike looks down at his phone screen as the loud call dropped tone passes through his headphones. His home screen—a playfully disgruntled selfie as Will kisses his cheek—stares him back in the face as Will’s voice continues to bounce about in his head.

Mike, I love you.

Mike quickly calls back but his phone spits back the message that he has no service. “Nancy,” he hisses even though the entire car heard his part of his conversation with Will anyway, “do you have any service on your phone? I need to call Will back and my phone is being homophobic.”

Nancy raises her eyebrows but checks phone and shakes her head. “Looks like you’re straight out of luck.”

“Ha; you’re quite the comedian, aren’t you.” Mike reaches forward to tap his mom’s arm. “Mom, can I borrow your phone to finish a call?”

“Sorry, sweetie, I’ve lost service, too. I don’t think any of us can use internet on our phones.”

“Does the cabin at least have wifi?”

“Nope,” snorts Mike’s dad as he drives the car down a dirt road further into the forest. “You kids these days need to learn what life is like without cell phones anyway.”

Mike rolls his eyes and mumbles under his breath, “Okay, boomer.”

“What was that, young man?”

“Okay, bummer.” Nancy bites on her bottom lip and Mike sends her a grin before settling in his seat.

Their mom reaches a hand back to rest on Mike’s knee. “It’s only 7 days, Michael. I’m sure both you and Will can last that long without contact.”

He told me he loves me, Mom, he wants to explain but Will’s words are too fresh and far too private to blurt out in front of the whole family. He crosses his arms silently and turns to stare out the window, hoping that Will can wait out these next few days and hoping he doesn’t think Mike hung up on him after such an important conversation. I love you, too, he thinks to himself, smiling as he presses his hand against the chilly window and imagines Will on the other side as if the car window is the window in Will’s room and Will’s inside watching Mike with that ever so lovestruck grin filled with appreciation that Mike came over despite the cold night to comfort Will from the nightmares that occasionally plague him to this day.

I love you, Will, he repeats inwardly, wait for me.

[lesbianbernardsumner]

Hey! Its thing >:)!

Its the thing i was teasing at in that post last night, and technically for like... four months? five? huh its been a bit since i second changed my url huh. Im not gonna go check or anything. If I were a bit more patient i wouldve waited for the archive collection become canon but im not. funfacterdroid is just more of my bran! Anyway! This post is my first impressions and opinions on each song on Back to the Egg! The Wings album i temporarily renamed myself after. (told ya i was gonna ramble wasnt i ydbfyufjd). It also happens to be the only wings album i havent listened to yet. And sure theres a bunch of singles and b-sides i havent listened to either, but this is the last one! I figured it should get some of its own treatment! I know that its gonna sound different to London Town and the two before it, cause McCulloch and English arent here. I’ve also heard that this album is bad and people called Paul a sellout because he transitioned to New Wave. New Wave is my favorite genre and I guess Wings werent ever that far from it? But they’re still a rock band at heart so i dont know how that change is going to fare. Enough introduction: Lets just go track by track! -Side One: Sunny Side Up-

Reception: Its just some radio garble, an instrumental meant to introduce the album. dont really have any opinions on it. Getting Closer: JAHBUDHSAUHJDHS WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! I didnt expect such a threatening title to be so upbeat. Like... opposite of Beware My Love. I do think its odd that there is barely any backup singing? Its not horrible just weird that this song, out of all the openers, doesnt. That outro is very much meant to be like a darker part of the song, like the dream sequence from A Day In The Life, but god dammit this song is just so upbeat! so weirdly cheerful and gentle! And... only 3 minutes? Rockshow and Jet were 4... eh those albums had a lot less songs, this one has 13 not counting Reception! Same as London Town, which i also really like! We’re Open Tonight: Oooohhh!! Very soft, I think I know what its about but when taken literally, to me it sounds like a quaint little shop trying to lure you in, sinisterly. I think the bass is making it sound evil to me, but thats a great thing! Clearly its trying to be like another I’m Carrying but that song fucking sucks!!!!!! I also really like how its only 1 minute, something so haunting about it. Not sure if thats positive or negative but the songs cool! Spin It On: hHEHEYEHY!! Getting Closer.... 2! kinda. Its much much faster and i can barely understand the words hes saying... or what hes spinning. The backing vocals are really cool though. the lyrics mention a pinball table? Y.. you know pinball doesn't spin right? it falls.... Questionable lyrics aside, theres really not a lot of SPEEDY Wings songs! Glad that one of the few is also extremely good!

Again and Again and Again: WOW OKAY! this is sung by denny, all of these songs start pretty fast unlike a good chunk of their past work, but i really like that! But it also means i cannot process a single thing denny is saying, i think he said something about a school? and being in a bad situation? ah whatever. Denny used to be in an R&B band and i really think thats going to work here! This isnt an exactly a Rhythm-y or Bluesey song, but He’s clearly having fun! thats why i love wings in general, its easy to tell that the band was having fun recording a song! Old Siam, Sir: A-hmm. Paul’s doing his squeaky voice again... I guess that can work sometimes but its absolutely not complimenting the piano in the background. Also, I feel like a squeaky voice wouldnt work the best for a story song. A story thats pretty incomprehensible too? Who is this lady! What the fuck is this village!! This is the song you wanted to make 4 minutes? and it fades out too... how much did they record... Arrow Through Me: So this is the one that the critics liked? Its the most synth heavy which i understand why people like, I like synths too! I like how the bass (which i think is also from a synth?) lines up perfectly with the horns! Its alright, it might grow on me later, but now its just a passable song. One i wouldnt skip. Plus I really like the reverb effects, the whole album has em but this one really makes use!! Kinda bad overall though.

-Side Two: Over Easy- Rockestra Theme: Just an instrumental. But one thats really important to music history! I don’t actually know the full story to this one, but I do know that i really like it! Plus the vocal effects on Paul’s... Scatting i guess you could call it? Whatever it is, it works! To You: This sounds... eerily like Getting Closer. But bad... Eh I like that organ. Not much to say really... theres only like one verse. After the Ball / Million Miles: Oh cool another medley. Last one we got was two albums ago! I guess since this is technically two songs id have to... review them both? After the Ball is exactly what it sounds like. A gentle rock song about seeing your love after a party :)! Pretty standard for wings. Million Miles! Sounds a lot like After the Ball but with an accordian? Fuck I’m not complaining. But also who the fuck is Deo. Winter Rose / Love Awake: Uh- Something is,,, wrong with Paul’s voice. like he damaged it? I mean its not horrible it just kinda takes me out of the emersion? Oh we’re already on Love Awake! his voice is fine now..! Man this song is mediocre! No wonder the 70s are regarded as lame./lh Weird that Linda isn’t singing backup here? Or if she is that Denny’s voice is just drowning her out. Winter Rose itself is kinda lame but its... sweeter I guess?  The Broadcast: SINISTER!!!!!!! I do not know who is talking but this sounds... dystopian. I don’t even know what the poem is about its just... the whole song is slightly off. But i mean that in a good way! So Glad to See You Here: MAN! They were trying so hard to be punk... Okay as a punk song this sounds horrible! But as a song in general i like it! It’s not mixed the best but i really like the lyrics! And I-HOLY SHIT WE’RE OPEN TONIGHT PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didnt expect that,,, thats.... genuinely cool! Baby’s Request: Oh the finale! H..huh... Jazzy! And its about going to sleep.. i think? Regardless, Paul’s good at writing songs to fall asleep to, this isnt an exception at all!! Although it is weird that at the end the same horn plays as the one in Thrillington’s Monkberry Moon Delight... Its probably just a coincidence, i thought it was funny though. ---- Okay! Overall, I liked Sunny Side-Up more as a whole since i like 4/6 of its songs, but MAN So Glad to See You Here and Baby’s Request are REALLLY GOOD-But then again. I only listened to all of these songs once, and i wont listen to them again until ive finished writing this post, just to keep my first impressions fresh. I don’t really know what else to say that album was fun as hell! So I’d give Back To The Egg a... 7.8/10! I really didnt expect to like it this much. even though New Wave is my favorite music genre, i didnt think paul would be able to do it justice! Especially since the genre was just starting itself up... heh.... hope it gets archived soon.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Name:  Stephanie.

Country: USA.

Age:  31.

Gender(s): Female

Height:  ~5′4

weight:  70-something lbs.

eye color: Brown.

skin color:  White.

Heritage: I’ve been really wanting to do one of those ancestry dna or 23 and me tests to find out exactly what I am. Relationship status:  Single.

Are you physically healthy?  No.

Are you mentally healthy? Nope

Job?:  No job.

school:  I graduated college back in 2015.

Favs:

Animal:  Dogs and giraffes.

Flower:  I don’t really have one.

Movie:  I have many favorites.

TV show: I have many favorites.

Music:  I like variety.

Band:  One of them will always be Linkin Park.

Video Game: Mario Bros games and Animal Crossing: New Horizon

Gaming Console: Nintendo Switch.

Name:  Alexander. ;)

Person:  My family.

Love life:

1: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope.

2: Do you love them? 

3: Are you still in love with an ex? No.

4: How many people have you dated?  Two.

5: Do you think you’ll get married?  No.

6: Have you ever been emotionally/physically abused in a relationship?  No.

7: Have you ever hurt your partner by accident without knowing it? I’m single, but no I don’t think I have in the past. But if I didn’t know it then I wouldn’t know?

8: Whats important to you in a relationship?  Communication, trust, understanding, patience.

9: Do you have to see them everyday? ( or hear from them)? I’m singleeee. 

10: Do you think you can love someone within 2 weeks? I personally don’t think so.

Friendship and Family:

1: How many friends do you have?  Zero.

2: What type of friend are you?  Not a good one anymore.

3: Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? Yeah. My former best friend and I were friends for almost 15 years.

4: Do you have one best friend, more or none?  One, my mom. 

5: Have you ever had a friend just stop being your friend and you never knew why?  Yes.

6: Do you get along with family?  Yes.

7: Do you have a family member you hate?  No.

8: Does your family accept who you are?  Yes.

9: Are you an only child or have siblings?  I have 2 brothers. 

10: Do you have parents that still live together? Yes.

School:

1:What grade are you in? I’m not.

2: Are you in Middle, High, or college? ( or neither)?  Neither, like I said I graduated college back in 2015.

3: Whats your favorite class?  English was always my favorite. In college I enjoyed most of my psych classes.

4: Do you have a fav school year?  Elementary school years.

5: Are you a good student?  I was, yeah.

6: Do you think homework is good or bad?  I wouldn’t say it’s good or bad. I mean, I get seeing if you’re understanding then material and whatnot and applying it. I guess it depends on the amount assigned and what type of assignment it is. 

7: Have you ever had a teacher who was really funny but had poor teaching skills?  Yes.

8: Is your GPA high or low?  It was high.

9: Do you like to particpate in conversations in the class room or are you the listener?  I was definitely a listener. I haaaaated classes that made class discussion apart of your grade.

10: Do you take part in extra school events? (eg. Plays, sports, leadership,clubs)? I was in clubs in high school and the psych club in college, even serving as a board member.

Health

1: Do you need to lose or gain weight?  I definitely need to put on some weight.

2: Have you ever had the swine flu? (H1n1)  No. I remember being scared about getting it and that whole thing wasn’t even on the level of covid. 

3: Do you like to go to the doctors?  Nooo. I’ve had more than my share of doctor appointments of all different kinds all throughout my life. They still make me anxious and stressed out, they’re definitely not something I find enjoyable.

4: Have you ever puked in school or at work?  I remember getting sick once in kindergarten and having to rush outside to the trash can.

5: Have you ever been extremely sick where you couldnt even leave your bed? Yes, I’ve experienced that several times.

6: Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? I hate actually doing it, but afterwards I usually do feel better. There are times where it gets to the point where I wish I would just do it already and get it over with cause I know it’d help me feel better. That’s when I’m really not feeling well.

7: Have you ever coughed up blood?  No.

8: Should you be eating healthier ? Yes.

9: Do you lie to your doctor?  I downplay some things or not share certain things, admittedly. :X

10: Have you ever taken too much advils?  No. That would make me sick.

Mental Health:

1: Do you have a mental illness?  Yes.

2: Do you take anti-depressants? No.

3: Are you mentally stable?  Uhhh.

4: Have you ever been misdiagnosed? Yes.

5: Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? Maybe.

6: Is self diagnosing good or bad? I don’t see an issue with researching yourself and thinking you may have something, but it’s important to take that information to a doctor. However, sadly I know that not everyone is able to do that. And I also have a problem with doing that myself, which I think can cause unnecessary stress. I also think people tend to throw around labels and say they have something when they don’t. Gah, it’s a slippery slope.

7: Should we give more money to mental health research?  Yes, absolutely.

8: Do you think everyone has a chance to over come their mental disorders?  I think many can learn to better manage some of them, but I feel like they’re always going to be there. 

9: Would you ever not date someone if they had a severe disorder? ( Schizophrenia,BPD, mood disorders)? I don’t know and I’m probably horrible for saying that. I have my mental disorders and I know it can be a lot for people to be around and handle. I just... I don’t know if I’d be able to be there for them in a way they might need ya know? I lack the experience. I can’t say no for certain. I think it would just really depend on the situation and if I learned more about it. 

10: Does mental illness run in your family? Yes.

SEX

1: Virgin?  Yes.

2: what age did you lose it? 3: Did you take sex ed? 6th grade, middle school, and a health and psych class my freshman year in high school.

4: Does size matter?

5: Whats your favorite poistions?

6: Does virginity exist? I believe so. I know some feel it’s not a real thing or a social construct, but to me it’s a thing. It’s someone who hasn’t had sex. When you have sex, you’re said to have lost your virginity and to me that just means in the very literal sense that you’re not a virgin anymore. I’m not referring to it as something deeper. Although, it can be for some people. And while I don’t think it’s like losing some part of yourself or something life altering, I personally feel like I would feel a change in some way. I also want to add that it’s something I want “lose” or share with someone special. I don’t know, man. I’m sure I’m not explaining it well. It’s just a personal thing.

7: Do you think sex is overated?  I wouldn’t know.

8: Is making love and fucking different? One just sounds more romantic and slow and passionate and the other sounds rough lol 9: Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies?  Yeah.

10: If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? If it’s not consensual or your choice then you can choose not to count it is how I see it. Like yes, technically they’ve had sex, but something so horrific and traumatic doesn’t count. Losing their virginity should be done their way, with someone they want to share that with. In the situation they were raped, they’re allowed to take their power and control back and count it when they do so with someone they want to do, consensually. 

Check the box:

1.My hair color is: [x] Brown [] Black [] Blonde [x]Red [] Funky colors [] Auburn [] more than one color <<< It’s a mix of my natural color and red because I haven’t dyed it since February.

2.Eye color: []Blue []Grey [x]Brown []Light brown []dark brown []green []amber [] I have two different colors of eyes

3.I am a : []Male [x] Female []Trans Male [] Trans Female []Gender Fluid [] I dont have a gender []Non Binary [] other

4: I am: []Fit [] Average [x]Skinny []Fat

5: I love my : [x]Hair []Eyes []Smile []Teeth []Skin []everything about myself []None of these.  <<< Italicized because I only like my hair when it’s been dyed and my roots aren’t showing haha... unlike now.

6: I hate my: [x]Hair []eyes [xx]smile [x]teeth [x]skin [x] everything about myself [] I dont hate anything about myself

7: My feet are: [x]Small []Wide []Narrow []long []large [x]Ugly []Pretty

8: I have a hard time: []Finding something to wear [x]Making Friends [x] making food [x]staying focused

9: I am: []Employed [x]Not employed []retired []I can’t work []Self employed []Looking for a job

10: I love: []the moon []the sun [x]the stars []our galaxy []planets

Bold what is true:

I am Funny

I am a girl

I have no hair

I have curly hair

^ I hate it

I have straight hair

I have a dog

I have a cat

I have both

I love to get drunk

I don’t drink

I love to smoke weed but i hate smoking cigarettes

I love both

I rather have one best friend than 20 friends who i am not close with

My dad died

My mom died

My parents are both dead

My parents are alive

I like to touch my bruises

I have funny teeth

I love Mcdonalds fries

Sometimes when Im alone I sing as loud as I can

even if i cant sing

I believe in God

I believe in the butterfly affect

I hate video games

I wish I was taller

I can’t understand math

I am very good at writing an essay

I never had sex before

I love Mac N Cheese

I love Disney Movies

I prefer Dreamswork over Walt Disney

I am going to College

I finished college

I wish I went to college

I hate my job

I am the boss at my job

I have a feelings for a friend but i cant tell them because it would ruin our friendship

^ I have feelings and i told them

I wish soda was healthy

I sleep with the window opened

This survey was too long

[squeakynico]

mental note, list of women-based manias

2010-11 - Deena (i thought this was a nervous breakdown... Deena is absolutely wonderful, although i havent seen her in ten years, we are still vaguely in tough online. her mother died still very recently. i once mailed her my grandmother's watch and a casette tape my father made for me when i was a child, out of compulsion.

early 2017 - Momi, a wonderful economist working on her phd who happened to be teaching economics to kids in high school on oahu. she was/is married, to another wonderful person named K.X., and i loved and respectex both of them so much, they were so nice to me and my friend when i felt very lonely out there. this was the mania that got me hospitalized for four months (off and on), and diagnosed (THANK GOD).

late 2017 - Wesley (possibly mostly weed related too) , she is a beautiful young person (well//lol, *30* now i guess? shit she used to complain about getting old and being a has-been, but i always tried to reason. i am all of 33), when i met her she was a recovering heroin addict, whose life love (FOR REAL HIS NAME WAS/IS LEO HE WAS A CHRISTIAN SCHIZO WHO JUMPED OFF THE ROOF OF A CHURCH NOW HE IS IN THE SKY WITH GOD) had died. she met a surfer bra the day we met and fell in love with him, which i thought was perfect because they seemed like a good fit, only he was (*much*, ha) younger at 21 (it's true, that *is* young). we talk sometimes and i give her money sometimes. she's had it very rough... Very rough, and is also bipolar, but once she got really mad at me for pushing her boyfriend who was sitting too close to me, and for leaving her most loved jean jack in a gas station bathroom (because i had just literally MMARCHED into, and Out Of, Chicago i was *really tired* and that thing weighed at least 10 pounds. i was staying at her place. nothing ever happened between us, but i still have her number. her dog Bear is the shit ❤

middle/late 2018 - Laura // Fletcher (the weird infatuation just sort of weirdly jumped from one to the other. mainly because i had been texting Laura about how Satan was misunderstood and an atom bomb may possibly have been getting rrady to be dropped on Houston while she was there. Laura is the Scene Queen of Dallas, and also i think her father and mother found her in a dumpster ((for *real*... whrn i ask who does that, sometimes you already know, she is really awesome and was about to move to spain to study Spanish and be a teacher. her cats' name is Freddie, he looked a lot like Jerry), and we used to sing karaoke at the same bar... for *Months*, always singing karaoke at the same bar but never talking. we hung out a few times before *i* got weird, and i think she thought she was bi, but she had a boyfriend too his name is Evan he is also very nice. she said she felt uncomfortablr once to the bartender of a club we both went to often to sing at, after i had been texting Very Weird, and all i did was empty my pockets in front of him (minus the essentials) and walk away.

i never saw her again, but i told Fletcher and Lindsay about her, and all that i had been feeling. i'm sure Fletcher let me go on as long as she could stand, because she is so kind and understanding. after she said she wouldn't kiss me, and literally *ceased* speaking to me altogether, i still told my mom that i thought she was still listening, without responding, and how *that*s how i Knew she loved me... i got seven tattoos during that time (mostly small line pieces - there is Jesus, and Jerrell, and Laura, and Judy Garland, and ABBA) but Fletcher's is the one over my heart. it's just a weird little cross-squiggle with her initials and a tinu heart and an arrow, because Fletcher means "arrow-maker". she is really cool, i used to play in her best friend's band when i was 20 or 21, maybe 22-23 or for, but we had *never* talked. silence is literally sometimes The Best Therapy. but still, i got *really* weird around that time, i had lost my job because of the Laura mania, and had tried twice to be a truck driver and failed, and a friend had died of an Aneurysm, and i was working at McDonalds (they were very kind to let me, i was a cashier but spoke next to no Spanish in a predominantly Mexican neighborhood). i used to drive to Fletcher's hometown for "fun" (drinking), just to have a look around. it was over an hour aeau from Dallas, and some weeks i would do that almost *every* *night*. that's mostly why i moved to Atlanta from Dallas, to start fresh

2020 - Sandra and i broke up. it was a kind of mutual decision - she had become distant again, after she started he new job which drained her a lot, and i was not being as supportive as i should have, but she had barely spoken to me in a month, and when i confessed that i had been commenting anonymously on her tumblr (well, i didn't confess, but after i told her i had been checking it out, she knew the comments were from me, i guess i have a messaging style that is difficult to mistake) she said something like "i wish you hadn't done that," and i blew up and wrote this longish rant on a prescription receipt at messaged it to her

then she said if i wasn't getting the time and emotional support i needed from her, we she call it quits. and i said FINE SEND ME MY BUNNY RABBIT BACK. it all seems so ridiculoys now, but i'm glad she did so quickly when it was called for. it's going to take a long long long time to get over her (if i ever really do... she once stitched the sleeve lining back into the sleeves of my most loved old coat that my friend gave me many years ago. and she fixed the pocket where i had been secretly hiding beer cans and tiny wine bottles in the lining), but i was mean and unfair when she needed space i didn't understand *how much* space, also all she ever asked for in her online profile was someone to hold hands and make out respectfully with... i guess i was a fluke/am a fluke. i miss her and wish i could see her again. as a confessed voyeur, i got two of the cabbage guys she drew when she was young, tattood on my ribs.

i have had enough manias to know now when something is up, but being on meds doesn't make me any happier. i think this journalling does - not happier, jues... Phew (:})

[robinskalechip]

home - chapter one

robin buckley x reader

not really reader bc i put a name in place of it but its a robin x character that doesn’t actually exist

a/n: this is my first fic so bare with me, im also taking requests for mostly hcs and oneshots

not my gif!

chapter one - the first meeting

robin was into her second week as a high school senior and she was already ready to be done and over with the school year. everyone was moping around and pointing out all of their precious “lasts” of their high schools years while robin didn’t care much. band was the only thing that came to mind that she would miss.

after school, robin worked at the video store with steve and it was as if nothing had changed. she still kept count of how many times he failed at picking up girls. the kids still rushed in to see them, minus will and el who would have loved the discounted movie rentals. most of the time the kids didn’t even buy or rent the movies. they just had steve or robin put the movie of their choosing on the television in the store and they would sit there and watch while robin would keep on eye out for keith so they didn’t get in trouble.

robin was currently in the back of miss foster’s second period advanced english class, her head buried in a book she had been dying to read for a while that foster had gotten her hands on specifically for robin. miss foster could see robin perfectly and didnt mind that she didn’t have her eyes on the board because she knew robin was at least 60% listening and she probably could teach the class for her.

robin’s head shot up when she heard a subtle knock to her right. she looked up to see a girl in denium pants with a matching jacket that seems sligtly oversized. underneath she wore a simple pink tee shirt that was almost a peach color and a pair of black combat boots to tie the whole outfit together.

robin was always one to notice the details.

on her hands, she sported multiple simplistic rings and robin could barely see the leather bracelet that was being hidden by the jacket sleeves. her hair was messy, but in a way that made her seem put together if that makes sense. similar to robin’s, just darker and a bit fuller.

the stranger had her head peaking from the slightly opened classroom door and knocked once more.

“is this a bad time?”

robin had never seen miss foster’s face light up so quickly. she hurried her way from behind her desk to approach the girl.

the girl met her half way, her face now as bright as the sun with a smile as she received a tight hug from miss foster. foster then turned to the class, hand still on the girl’s back, and said “this is one of the good ones ” as she pointed to her, still smiling.

“what have you been up to”

the girl still carried her bright smile as she spoke, “i’m actually a junior journalist at the times”

somehow foster became even happier but was cut short when a student at the front of the class cleared his throat.

“can we get back to the lesson please”

robin didnt know the kid, not even his name. but she knew she didn’t like him. he was one of those kids that took high school way too seriously. as if he would die if a couple of minutes of the lesson were taken out. maybe he’s not as smart as he thinks he is because robin is doing just fine and she’s barely paying attention half the time.

the girl was polite about it, not showing any negative response. “i have a few other stops to make but i should be in town a while, i’m sure i’ll see you the next time i go to get a bagel or get gas”

foster smiled, “okay miss milani, stay out of trouble”

milani

robin felt the name was familiar. she could see some students from the other side of the room whispering amongst themselves.

the girl started to make her way back to the back of the room. robin watched her closely. she saw her smile drop slightly as she saw the students whispering and she guessed they saw her because the noise came to a sudden stop.

on her way out, her and robin’s eyes met for a brief moment. a small smile appeared on both of their faces as the girl exited.

robin had never felt more vulnerable yet more as peace then she had in those three seconds.

about ten minutes later the bell rang and robin quietly gathered her things and headed upstairs to mr. andrew’s advanced biology class, aka the one class she was struggling with this year despite it being one of her best subjects in prior years.

as she stepped through the doorway, her heart began to beat a little faster.

the girl who had previously interrupted miss foster’s class was now sat on mr. andrew’s front lab table. the two were talking and laughing. robin thought to herself, i guess she got on with a lot of the teachers here.

robin tried to remain calm as she searched her folder for her lab report she was meant to turn in yesterday. she decided to take care of dustin while he was home sick, today was steve’s turn. we love parenting. robin didn’t know why she was feeling so hectic but she tried her best to calm herself down as she walked to the front of the class, directly to mr. andrew, whose back was towards her as he spoke to the girl.

“andrew you got a patient”

mr. andrew turned around, arms folded and still smiling as he looked at robin. “ah miss buckley, we missed you yesterday.”

robin could feel the girl’s eyes on her as she tried to maintain eye contact with her teacher.

“im sorry, sir. i would have turned my lab in the day before if i had known i was going to be out-“

mr. andrew cut her off, “it’s no problem, really. i havent even started grading any of the labs yet.” he gave her a warm smile.

robin wondered why he was in such a good mood and her mind only went to one place; her.

mr. andrew took the paper from robin’s possession and went to his filing cabinet to place it in the current period’s file. in this process he was approached by another student as robin started to turn around to return to her desk until she was cut off once again, this time from the body on the lab table.

“you were in foster’s class, right?”

robin turned around slowly.

“yeah, you were the one who interrupted the class and made that imbecile have a cow”

the girl laughed, causing robin to as well. robin liked her laugh. it reminded her of the way the smith’s music made her feel; euphoric, even if for a short while.

the girl jumped down from the counter and extended her hand, “i’m sofia”

robin smiled as she took her hand, “i’m robin”

sofia

why does robin feel like she knows this name

“you’ve got two of the best teachers in hawkins, i hope you know that”. it seemed like no matter what this girl was saying she had a brightness to her, robin felt like she was going insane but in the best way possible.

“yeah i’m really enjoying them so far, it’s only been a couple of weeks but i think we all have a mutual understanding of each other. foster knows i don’t directly pay attention but i know what’s happening and andrew knows i am only a unit in and i’m already lost”

she laughed again

“biology was a bitch for me too. try asking for mrs. samuel in the library, she helped me out loads before i left. that was just for regular bio but she seems to know what she’s doing.”

“how long have-“

robin was cut off by the mr. andrew telling the class to take their seats as he wrote down the days objectives.

the girl had briefly turned her attention to him to say goodbye and then followed behind robin as she went to leave, stopping once she reached robin’s desk.

she picked up the book robin had accidentally left on her desk as she was searching her bag and read to quietly to herself, “the price of salt”

robin was still standing by her chair as she looked at the girl staring at the novel, feeling slightly uneasy about the reaction she might recieve. but all that anxiety was quickly whisked away as the girl smiled at her, book still in hand.

“it’s one of my favorites. its an absolutely beautiful love story”

her face seems even brighter somehow, perhaps she really liked the story.

the two looked at each other a little too long, but surprisingly, despite just meeting, had no “awkward silence” between them

“i’ll leave you to andrew but um..check out mrs. samuel and i’ll hopefully see you around”

the girl headed out of the door and turned her head slightly at the last minute to give robin another warm smile that which robin returned as if it was almost instinctive.

robin thought about that smile for the rest of the day.

next chapter

[archivedatl]

AP web exclusive: All Time Low tour diary

Posted by Scott Heisel on 08-Dec-06 @ 04:43 PM

Last month, Baltimore pop-punkers All Time Low took to the road with Sugarcult for a series of shows on the West Coast. Here's some of what they saw, in words and pictures. Learn more at www.alltimelow.com.

#1------------------------------------------------------------ Ooohooo So last night we celebrated two awesome occasions...well 3 since matt's molars finally grew in...anyways yesterday was Haloween and our first night of our tour with Sugarcult. I must say, it is pretty strange touring with a band who I spent the better years of my middle school life watching on MTV. Regardless of where this band has been, it definetly didn't eff with their personalities. They were all super nice to us and each came up and introduced themselves. The show went pretty well but it wasn't a good judgement of our the whole tour is going to be because Sugarcult didn't even headline, the Eagles Of Death Metal did, and the tickets for $25 on Haloween night :) I'm sorry but I would never go to a show if those were the circumstances...I'd be out expanding my collection of holiday treats. Tonight the 'real' tour begins so we will see how it goes. We are playing Washington State University in Pullman Washington. We haven't done too many college shows, so this should be interesting...anyways before we got on the road a couple days ago we were couped up in Ben Harper's (formely of yellowcard, now in amber pacific) house/studio in long beach, CA working on our new CD :). We demoed some hot licks that were going to send over to our producer matt squire so that he can put in some input. I heard my blogs are going to be posted on the Alternative Press website for this tour, so if that's the case then...helll yeah! Well I just woke up from sleeping in the van so I am gonna walk out into the freezing streets of Pullman, WA crack my back and grab some Qudoba. Much Love, Jack --jbstar #2------------------------------------------------------------ Yoo dooodds, So I'm gonna update you guys on the passed couple shows...on Wednsday we played Washington State University. Those kids are freaking crazy! Everyone seemed to be having a good time and we made some awesome new friends. I cannot stress enough, how cool the Sugarcult guys are. Which is really cool because I have been listening to those guys since 6th grade! Anyways before we played, matt thought it would be a good idea to have a fork and knife fight backstage...yeah it turned pretty ugly and we should have some footage online soon enough. That night we partied at 'The Christmas House'. Lets just say that I'm pretty sure alex made out with a dog...I really miss Hit The Lights :( Anways...we played Seattle after the college show and it was offf the hoooook. Everyone in the room was dancing and it got pretty redic. As soon as we told them the alex/dog story they went nuts. We met up with the Pink Spiders that night. We were nervous about that because we've heard some stuff...but for real those guys are the shit. There all super nice and we have no complaints about them. We have yet to tour with a band who we don't get along with (fingers crossed). We also heard that we may be doing a few shows with Cobra Starship in Dec, if that happends that would be sick. I'll keep you guys updated. Someone made us a bucket of the craziest donuts ive ever seen at the portland show last night!! They were reallly good. Sorry for the lack of pics, I'll make sure my next post has more, its just hard to take good pics on a sidekick :). Talk to you guys soon!!Jacko #3------------------------------------------------------------ Yo Babaayyss, Last nights show was off the hook! I love playing at The Boardwalk in orangevale calii. The crowd was as wild as usual and a bunch of kids were singing along. A lot of the same kids who saw us there on the Amber Pacific tour came back. Its always cool to see so many familiar faces,,,cough cough hint hint nudge...you get the idea folks! The next couple shows should be interesting...reno and vegas. I wont be able to gamble but at least ill be able to look at a lot of lights. We all have family comming out, so that should be exciting. I havent seen my brother and sister in ages and i know their gonna be wasted so that means they will be even more friendly :) Also Meg n Dia join up in vegas which is sick, SO SIKED FOR THAT!!! We met them on warped and their super nice. anyways i think its time, i go to In and Out because after this tour im not going to be able to go back for a while :( im going to eat there everyday twice a day until we leave Arizona. Ive attached pics from our set on the Epitaph stage at this years Bamboozle Left and also some pics of our acoustic set the 2nd day! Thanks to everyone who watched us either/both days :) love you peace peace n a bottle o' hair grease, jack #4------------------------------------------------------------ Wow...vegas has to be one of the strangest places on this earth. First of all we showed up in Reno (shity city) only to find that only sugarcults crew was there and the show probably wasnt going on. We were welcomed by a hooker in a pink tanktop and no teeth asking if we had any shirts we could give her...Thankfully we have power windows and middle fingers. Thankfully zack was asleep or he might have took her up on some of her offers...he's getting desperate you know..just kidding! Anyways we decided to hang out with sugarcults crew for a little then start the drive to vegas early since it was 8 house. We got to go over the Hoover Damn which was sweet. It's seriously Vegas Vacation all over again! Anyways, we got to vegas around midnight and it was a fantastic site! My bro and sis were staying at the MGM so thats where i headed. Rian to the Excalibur, Alex and Matt to the Venecian and Zack to the Luxor. We all split up and hung out with our fam for the evening. My brother took me around vegas and boyyy was it interesting. I was approached by numerous drunk people. It was basically like an Ocean City, Maryland for older people. It's just a place for adults to drink, walk around drunk, act like teenagers and maybe gamble a bit here n' there. it was Akward to say the least. Anyways the next day was the show at the House Of Blues at Mandalay Bay...probably one of the nicest venues we have ever played. We introduced ourselves to the Meg n Dia folks and got to know our new tour mates as we shared a dressing room. We soon found they are awesome people and they share a love for getting wild! The show was pretty cool, and the crowd was big. It was weird though because the merch was not in the venue, it was in the cassino haha. Anyways Vegas was an experience we wont forget, and I cant wait till we go there again. I hope the next time we go, were 21...actually nevermind because that would be three years :)stay rad, Jack #5------------------------------------------------------------ Lame! Tonight was our last show on the Sugarcult Tour featuring The Pink Spiders and Meg n Dia :( Damone will be taking our place on this great lineup. I am jelous that they get to join up! Anyways we made some lifetime friends on this tour and it was a great experience for everyone. Every single show was amazing and the fans never let us down. Traveling to bumfuck arizona and hearing a couple hundred kids sing your song is the coolest feeling ever. Sugarcult was very warming towards us and their personalities suprised the shit out of me. they were such cool guys and even when zack was sick they made him soup and gave him Emergen-C. WHO DOES THAT !?!? Thats like something my mom does...so in a way Sugarcult are our parents. They actually reffered to us as their younger brothers on stage. At the last show of the tour in Little Rock, Arkansas us and Meg n Dia ran on stage during "Bouncing Off the Walls" and started bouncing around and took over Tim's Guitar n Mic, Marko's (my twin) guitar and Airens Bass. It was so fun to bro down with a band that ive been listening to since middle school haha. Alex also got to soundcheck with sugarcult at Texas AM College because tim was at the hospital taking care of his sickness (i think he had a nasty cold). It was so crazy to see alex soundcheck with a band who for the past few years have held a special spot on my ipod and in my cd player :) I attached a pic of him sound-checking for fun. At the end of the show we said our goodbyes and gave our hugs. This is'nt the end of these friendships though, only the beggining...now we head home to write a new cd. Catch us on the road in the northeast in december when we head out with Cobra Starship! Stay safe, Jack

[loverslibraries]

Sharing my Omegle Chats 13/?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like emo, twenty one pilots, and waterparks.

You: hello :)

Stranger: Hi :)

You: oooooh

You: it looks like we have taste here!

Stranger: Ah thank you!!

Stranger: What’s your favourite tøp song?

You: oh boy

You: i cant do an all time favourite

You: i can give you a favourite from each record though

Stranger: Go ahead :)

You: st - iofb

rab - anathema

vessel - the run and go

bf - hometown

trench - morph

You: wbu?

Stranger: I can’t really choose a favourite but atm it’s probably My Blood, Kitchen sink, ode to sleep or Level of concern

You: EF BHJMEF

You: I FORGOT ABOUT LEVEL OF CONCERN

Stranger: ITS SUCH A BOP

You: I KNOW

Stranger: AHH

You: what other artists do u listen to?

Stranger: Oh damn, a LOT, mainly mcr, fob, creeper, msi, the faim, green day, IdkHow and motionless in white

You: mcr fucks

You: fob fucks

You: i dont think i've heard a crepper song before

You: i havcent heasrd a mindless self indulgence record before

You: the faim fucks

You: havent heard their shit in a min though

You: like 4 years

You: green day fucks

You: idkhow fucks

You: miw fucks

Stranger: Creeper sounds like mcr mixed with the faim and tøp

You: ooo

Stranger: Honestly their new stuff is really good

You: should i check them out

Stranger: 100%

Stranger: They’re one of my favourite bands atm

You: what record?

You: i'll put it on ym todo list of records

Stranger: They’re bringing out a new album soon called Sex, dead and the infinite void, and the callous heart slaps SO hard

You: give me a creeper record, a msi record, and a faim record

You: it's called what?

Stranger: callous heart by creeper, If by msi and Summer is a curse by The Faim :)

You: those are records right?

Stranger: Ohh records

Stranger: Lmao hold on

Stranger: Born cold by Creeper, For the love of god by msi and My heart needs to breathe by the faim 😌

You: let me type it in

You: got em all

You: quick question

You: so, in a jist, when i listen to these recirds, i want to tell u what i thinkso

You: so

You: do u have any socia meida ur comfortable w sharing w me?

Stranger: Yeah! My Instagram is @------------------- :)

You: i dont use ig that much, and i might miss the notif

Stranger: Do you have snapchat?

You: but my ig is 386.pilots

You: same issue

Stranger: I’ll add your ig

Stranger: Ahh dude you’re so pretty!

You: ah damn you're so gorgeous

You: THANK U SO MUCH

You: MY HEART: FULL

Stranger: HELL YEAH

You: how old are u]

Stranger: 13 :)

You: BRUH

You: UR 13?

Stranger: YEAH

You: I DIDNT LOOK THAT GOOD WHEN I WAS 13

Stranger: I LOOK: ‘🥚’

You: no

You: u look like a bitch i'd-

You: let me stop

You: btw, i'm 15

Stranger: That is an amazing compliment ILoveYou

You: let me

You: send an image of what i looked like when i was 15

You: 13*

Stranger: You seem hella cool dude

You: fuckin

You: whats 20 - 2

You: also thank you

You: 18

You: that was so HARD

Stranger: LMAO SAME THO

You: damn it

You: why is there only pics of me in 2017 and this year

You: did i just not exist for 4 years

Stranger: I rarely take pictures but when I do, I cannot choose an aesthetic for my life

You: i take a lot of pics now

You: bc idc

You: but then?

You: my brain was Dysfunction Junction

Stranger: I just take pictures, post them and hope for the best

You: pfff

You: mood

Stranger has disconnected.

[simplygojo]

killer queen - chapter two

Series summary : Y/n, a native to London England, gets asked by the legend himself, Freddie Mercury, to help manage the band. Obviously she accepts, and it ends up being the best decision she’s ever made. Quickly she becomes close with each member of band, Roger Taylor specifically…

Chapter Summary : Y/n and the boys go to meet John Reid to hopefully get the band a new manager and a record deal, but a new manager means that y/n has to go...

Word Count : 3.2k

Pairings : Ben!Roger Taylor x Reader

Warnings : Swearing, unedited (whoops).

a/n - Just wanted to say thanks again, for all the love this series is getting!! I’m so excited to write this series bc I’ve had the idea since the movie came out!

chapter one  |  chapter three

           The morning after your night at the club was a whirlwind of events. You woke up and realized that you weren’t in your own bed. In fact you had never even been in this room before. You stood up and scurried out to find Brian reading a book while eating a plate of bacon. “Morning, want some?” He asked and you laughed a bit. “I’m so sorry.” You said to him, chuckling again at yourself. You walked over to him, the cold hardwood floors giving you the urge to put socks on. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” You told him before taking a piece of bacon off his plate and taking a bite. “Hey, it’s better than puking in your own car.” he said laughing. “Bloody hell!” Brian said after glancing at the clock. “We gotta go! Rog will be here in a minute to pick us up.” He said putting his book down and grabbing his shoes. “I guess I’m going in last night's clothes.” You laughed as you grabbed your heels from the door. “At least you’re in a dress, you look fine.” He said opening the door and grabbing his jacket. “You nervous?” You asked him as you walked out the door, Brian locking it behind the two of you. “A bit, but Fred’ll win him over.” You nodded in agreement. Moments after, you saw your car pull up to the side of the road. “Is that Rog-” the window rolled down and Roger sat there with a knowing smirk on his face. “Morning sleeping beauty!” He called and you rolled your eyes as the two of you walked up to the car. “Shove off Taylor!” He laughed and you got in the back with John and Brian. “Let’s do this.” Brian said before Roger hammered on the gas and you were off. “I’m loving the outfit Fred.” You said and he looked back at you. “I dress to impress darling.” He said with a knowing look on his face.

           You finally pulled up to the meeting spot and Roger slid on a pair of shades. “Rog it’s not even sunny out!” John said, causing Roger to look back at him. “It looks cool.” He said as everyone got out of the car. The five of you walked over to the one and only John Reid. They all began talking, Freddie explained how each of you are different, that you belonged to the misfits of the world. Reid mentioned that he might be able to get you on television. You leaned back in your chair. “And then..?” You asked, holding your chin high. “No one outside of England has even heard of you yet! I admire your enthusiasm. If this works out, I have a promotion towards your plan in mind.” He said, and you looked at him. “We’ll want more.” You said, which made Reid chuckle a bit. “Every band wants more Miss y/l/n.” he said, “Every bands not Queen.” You countered. Roger looked over to you, he was impressed, and luckily so was Mr. Reid. “You’re asking for quite a bit Miss y/l/n.” he said, but you knew he was on board. “She has an insatiable appetite.” Freddie told him, leaning back in his chair. You got it, a record deal, a future for Queen. After everything was settled you all piled into the car. “Holy shit y/n!” Roger said with a smile on his face. “You were amazing!” He said and you just shrugged. “It’s all for you guys, for the band.” You said as you began driving. “You’re part of the band y/n.” Freddie said, the others nodded in agreement. You smiled contently as you drove, you really were a part of something bigger than yourself now. Something bigger than the five of you. Now you knew that Reid was a manager, and he got you a record deal from someone else, meaning that you were no longer Queen’s manager. You got the feeling of a hole in your heart, as if something was missing when you began to think about leaving the band. You pushed the thought away quickly and began to drive to the recording studio.

          “Reid said he wants us to finish the album by the end of this week?” John asked as he sat down on one of the couches. Roger nodded as he twirled a drum stick between his fingers. “Yep, but I mean that’s only two more songs.” He said sighing a bit. “We can’t write and record two songs in a week, that’s fucking impossible.” Brian said. “Y/n, what do you think?” Freddie asked as he looked over to you. You were leaning against the doorframe lost in thought. What would you do without the band? You had always figured they would move on to do amazing things, but this quickly? “Y/l/n?!” Roger shouted at you, finally breaking you from your trance. “Hm?” You hummer in response. John sighed and Freddie stood up. “We know there’s something wrong darling, what is it?” He asked softly. You sighed and walked slowly over towards the seating area. “I’m not Queen’s manager anymore.” You said to them, they all exchanged concerned glances before looking at you again. “I don’t work for you guys anymore, I’m not supposed to be here.” You said. “You can be our assistant!” Roger said, quickly standing up. You looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “The band’s assistant? That’s not much of a job Taylor.” You said. “I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life as an assistant.” You told them, beginning to get frustrated. “I wanted-” You cut yourself off, “I wanted to be apart of something bigger than myself.” You said looking over at them. The four of them sat there, not knowing what to say. Then after a moment John spoke up, “If you think you’re getting away from us that easily, your wrong.” He said to you. “You’re a part of the band now y/n, your family.” Freddie added. Brian stood up. “Besides, your the closest thing we have to an actual queen besides Fred.” You laughed at Brian's comment, as did Roger and John. “At least be our assistant until you find another job.” Roger said as he got up and walked towards you. You looked up at him as he put his hands on your shoulder, he raised his eyebrow and smiled a bit. “Fine.” You said, attempting to hold back your smile. Roger winked at you and then turned back to the boys. “Alright, now that’s settled, lets make some music.” he said.

          Everyone got to their places as they tried to write a song, throw one together and not have it sound sloppy. Arguments broke out every hour. About the music, about girls, about everything and anything. Finally you had enough. You stood up in the middle of Roger’s argument about how they sounded like shit. “Shut up!” you yelled, staring at them, they all immediately stopped what they were doing and looked at you. “This isn’t working, we haven’t gotten anywhere, and the four of you clawing at eachothers throats is not going to help.” You stated as you waltzed over to the stage, their eyes following you. “You need to get experimental, make sounds that will surprise the ear, sounds that havent been put into song yet.” You said as you stood in front of Roger’s drum kit. You reached into your jean pocket and pulled out a handful of change. You glanced at the change, the drums, then at the four boys staring at you with confused looks. “Roger come here.” You said, he didn’t move at first and then you shot him an evil glare which made him move towards you. “Sit.” you said, and he obliged. Roger sat down and picked up his drum sticks from the floor. You placed the change on the drums in front of you. You looked at Roger and nodded your head, he nodded back and began to play a beat. “Now that’s good.” Freddie said walked over to the drums, John and Brian behind him. “We could try putting a tambourine on the piano, so when Fred plays-” “You can hear it in the background.” Freddie finished Brian’s sentence and they both rushed over to the piano to test it out. John walked up to you and smiled. “I hope you know, there’d be no Queen without you.” he said before he grabbed a triangle and mallet and walked over to Roger. You smiled to yourself and walked away as they began to write lyrics, develop riffs, string together chords, and create a song.

         You walked into the booth and sat down in the chair in front of all the controls. You looked up to see Roger staring at you from the drums. You smiled at him and he nodded contently before mouthing ‘thank you’. You watched as they worked together to make all kinds of new sounds. The four of them even started putting pots and pans on the drum stand. You watched them and laughed lightly from inside the booth. After an hour, you decided you would go check to see how they were doing, if any progress was actually being made. “Hey boys.” You said as you walked over to stand beside Roger, who had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He looked down at you and smiled a bit. “We’ve got a song.” Brian said to you as he stood up and walked towards the booth. “Let’s start recording then.” You chimed as you followed Brian into the booth. “Let’s start with you Fred!” You shouted, he nodded and waltzed over to the mic. You helped the boys record the song in the booth. You adjusted the volume, gave tips on how loud the bass should be, how loud the change on the drums should be, and how loud the backup voices should be. You were the ears of this song, and it felt amazing. They were relying on your judgement, which made you feel important, it made you feel wanted. You were listening to the song over, once everything was recorded. Something still wasn’t right, according to the boys. “It sounds beautiful.” You told them as you curled up on the couch. “No, something needs to be changed…” Freddie said as he began pacing. “Deaky, try bouncing it from left to right..” he said, which John did. “And dead center for the last!” Brian added. “And blast it!” Roger shouted as he stood up and put his hand in the air. “That’s angelic.” You said as you stood up. “Alright, I am exhausted, so I’m heading home. Does anyone need a lift?” You asked them as you grabbed your car keys from the small table by the door. “I could use a lift yeah.” Roger said to you as he grabbed his drumsticks from the couch he was previously sitting on. “Okay then let’s head out, it’s already 11. See you boys tomorrow, good work.” You said giving them a small wave before heading out the door. Roger yelled bye and then followed you out to the car.

          “Bloody hell it’s cold out, I should have brought a fucking jacket.” You laughed and shook your head. Roger smirked at you, “Would you like mine, love?” He asked, as he slid his bright blue jean jacket off his shoulders. You giggled and looked over to him. “What a gentleman.” You said, teasing him as he held it up for you. You slid your arms into it and immediately felt the warmth seep into your skin. You hummed and wrapped yourself in your own arms. Roger laughed as the two of your finally got to your car. You got in it and turned the keys clockwise, making the car roar as it came alive. You began to drive in the direction of Roger’s flat. “Just wanted to thank you again, for making sure we don't bloody murder each other.” he said, laughing lightly. You smiled and nodded, “Well I try my best.” You replied. Roger looked over to you, “You know, last night was the first night in a long while I didn’t bring home a random girl.” he said, in a serious tone. You glanced over at him, making eye contact for a brief moment before you focused back on the road. “Why do you think that is?” You asked curious for what stunt he was trying to pull with you. “Maybe I only had one girl on my mind.” he said, still staring at you, as if he was waiting for you to swoon. You rolled your eyes and smiled. “How many times have you used that line Taylor?” You asked, laughing lightly as you said it. Roger’s face dropped for a moment, was it really that hard for you to believe that you were on his mind? He then let out a laugh and looked out the front window. “Not as often as you’d think.” He said before you pulled up to his house. “I’ll see you tomorrow Taylor.” You said as he stepped out of the car. You were about to drive away when Roger stuck his head through the passenger window. “Do you want to come in for some tea?” He asked you, “No funny business, I just,” He let out a small laugh, “I haven’t been alone in a while, could you-” “Yeah.” You cut him off and gave him a reassuring look. You grabbed your bag from the back seat of your car and turned the car off. You slammed the door shut and locked it before you went to walk beside Roger.

          “I’ve never been inside your flat before.” You said as the two of you walked up the stairs, Roger leading the way. “Well, let me tell you it’s nothing special.” He said as he took out the keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. He gestured for you to go first, and he put his hand on the small of your back to guide you in. He shut the door behind him and stood beside you. “What do you think?” He asked you teasingly. “It suits you.” You told him as you took off your shoes and continued to walk around the flat. It had rustic brick walls and small windows on one wall. The furniture didn’t match, some were a light brown while others were bright blue or red. The lighting fixtures were wild, just like Roger. He laughed and nodded. “It does doesn’t it?” He responded as he put his hand under his shirt and onto his shoulder. “So are you just going to stand there or make your friend some tea.” You said as you sat down on the bright blue couch. Roger laughed, almost as if he was nervous, which you had never seen him before. “Yeah, um, sorry.” He said and he walked over to the kitchen.

           You curled your feet under your body and fixed the dress you wore from the night before. It wasn’t very comfortable if you were being honest, which was all part of your style. Roger walked over to the sitting area and handed you a cream coloured mug with some tea in it. “Thank you, Taylor.” You said with a bit of a smile. Roger sat beside you on the couch and took a sip out of his own mug. “I didn’t know it was possible to get this bloody cold in London.” Roger said as he looked out the window and then back at you. You nodded and sighed. “Rog, I don’t want to be an assistant.” You said to him as you took another gulp of tea. “I just, can’t help thinking that I deserve a bit more from life, you know?” You asked, your eyes focused on your lap. “You deserve everything, y/n.” He said quickly, almost too quickly. “You will have a better job, in the future y/n.” Roger reassured and put his hand on your knee. You forced a smile towards him and then you both put your mugs on the coffee table in front of you. “Ugh, this is the most uncomfortable dress I have ever worn.” You said in frustration as you tugged at the sleeves. Roger smirked as he looked you up and down. “Want me to take it off for you?” he said. You rolled your eyes and lightly slapped his shoulder. “Could I wear a pair of your joggers?” You asked him. “I can’t sleep in this for another night or I might die.” “No way! I want to see you suffer.” he said laughing, before he stood up and began to walk off. “I’ll be back, stay there.” He said. You sighed and walked over to the window in your bare feet. The ground was ice cold and only made you shiver as you walked near the window. ‘How is it this cold in June?’ You thought to yourself. You heard Roger enter the room once again, you turned to see a pair of jeans and a red and white striped T-shirt in his arms. You giggled and shook your head at him. “So turns out I don’t own a single pair of joggers.” he laughed and handed you the clothes he found. “Hope these’ll do.” He said and you looked at him in disbelief, but still smiled. “Where’s the loo?” You asked him as you inspected the clothes in your hands. He didn’t answer, which resulted in you looking up at him. He had a devilish smirk on his face and you shook your head, “I am not changing in front of you Roger Taylor. I’ll find the loo by myself if I have to.” You said as you began to walk down the hall. You heard Roger laugh as you walked away, which brought a smile to your face.

          You found the loo easily, as it was a small flat. You changed into the striped shirt and jeans, which was ten times as comfortable as that stupid dress. You began to walk back to the living room to tell Roger you were tired, but then you saw what you presumed was Roger’s bedroom out of the coroner of your eye. You glanced over your shoulder to make sure Roger wasn't looking and you proceeded to walk into the room. It was a small room, it had only a bed and a dresser, with the same Roger vibe as the living room. It had blue-grey walls with no windows on them. You sat down on the bed and felt how comfortable the mattress was underneath you. You sighed in pleasure as you laid down and rested your head on the pillow. You instantly fell asleep, your body curled into a ball and your face squished against a pillow. Roger called your name from the other room, when you didn’t respond he got up and walked over. He saw you were asleep on his bed, resulting in a smile and a slight shake of Roger’s head. “God y/n, you have a tendency for falling asleep.” He whispered. Roger picked up a blanket from the floor and placed it over your sleeping body. He pressed a kiss to your temple and shut the door behind him. “God you make me soft y/n. Goodnight.” He finally whispered before going to sleep on the couch.

Series Taglist : @triggeredpossum  @june-uk  @toger-raylor @antoouu @ironicsecretfae @harrysniallpolish @s-e-l-e-c-t-i-v-e-listener @creativedogs @wvnhedas @rockyroadthepastryarchy @sweetdayme4427 @pietrorunsforme @coltonthekanima @anna1523

[lynxandbadger]

Seventy-Two Days

(yes im reusing this banner but i dont feel like making a new one okay alkfdjlsjf) hey yall happy middle of the summer (or winter if ur a southern hemisphere pal) hope youre all doing well! i am currently in the middle of summer school which is Not Fun but you know, gotta do what you gotta do. i have a specific reason for this post but since i dont expect many people to actually see this its mostly just for me lol so im gonna ramble but in case someone is reading this and wants me to get to the point

tldr; im challenging myself to make an edit a day for the next 72 days (dont expect them to be quality though lol)

okay so onto the rambling bit for my own memory archive. putting it under a cut so yall dont have to suffer through if u dont wanna asdfljdks

alrighty so time for a monologue.

blah blah blah this summer is a summer and you know what im tired of hearing myself talk so im actually gonna try to keep this short anyway but we all know thats not gonna happen bc lets be real this is me talking and since when do i ever keep things brief lajsdfjs

uhhhh i swear i had a point when i started writing this post skdjlfsld bear with me its 3:30 pm and i got five hours of sleep last night so im tired okay and yeah i know i could type all this stuff out and then consolidate it into a nice soft and neat post and i should do that but also no one really follows my blog except for like a few people (lookin @ u naomi i know ur reading this) which is fine bc i never post lol so im gonna leave it here in the raw unprocessed form for me to look back at someday and be like yep sounds about right u came to write a short post explaining a thing and u made it an entire essay good goin eloise 10/10

hmm still havent gotten to my main point OKAY SO lets get there already smh its like im procrastinating my procrastination

actually nah fam im gonna keep rambling for that exact reason, procrastination

im supposed to be doing stuff lol i have a final on friday but have i studied at All? nope and im not gonna its an all or nothing sort of thing and yeah maybe im no longer a good student academically but you know what fuck it yall ill deal with that later

so lets chat

dnp both came out since i last posted well okay i guess dan was out when i made my last edit but that one was partially a joke edit so it doesnt count. i forgot what i was gonna say about dnp coming out bc i went to check when dan uploaded his video to confirm but like idk yall it was probably something about how im proud of them or whatever

okay so at this point this post is 100% for me to be amused at when i reread it someday so im just gonna fill it with stuff that might only make sense to me while also keeping in mind that maybe someone who isnt me is also reading this but thats just showbiz babey

okay so (oh hey future me look at that do u remember what thats a reference to) uhh okay so might as well ramble on the topic of why i started this post in the first place

summer 2019 what can you say

let me give u a briefprobablynotbrief overview of the summer so far

marianas trench (again)

stats class

listening to new music (two bands in particular) (pop quiz do u remember which two??)

national bee movie treasure rabbit

josh ramsay matt webb ian casselman mike ayley

being bored

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

marianas trench

s

HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN

um

Marianas Trench

yeah thats about it fam

did i mention marianas trench yet

okay im getting hungry lets wrap this shit up so i can go get some food

okay so might as well actually talk about why im doing this edit thing

i am bored. idk what im doing with my life. idk i wanna do something creative and really the only creative thing i have the resources to do is make shitty edits so that was really the only thing i could think of to do lol.

alright bud im out lol gotta go eat food come up with an idea for the first edit and also do a lot of actual productive stuff bc as u may remember as i type this im currently skipping something else

ooohhh nice! fun. and yum!

xoxo elowoise

[valhallamercury]

bassist | boh rhap!john deacon x female!reader

Summary: Ever since you’ve met John, you’ve happily thrown yourself down the rabbit hole of falling in love with him. And honestly, how could you resist? He was kind, sweet, and not to mention handsome. Now the only problem: getting to go on a date with  A/N: The requested part two of secretary, so make sure you read that before reading this! This was so much fun to write, tell me if you’d guys would like a part three! :) Warnings: none, except that this is unedited.  Tag list: @lizgarxo @josephhmazzello @tv-saved-the-teenage-girl Word count: 1,994

After your first encounter with the dark-haired man, you had practically thrown yourself into a pit labeled “in love with John Richard Deacon.” Could anyone blame you though? Every time John came in with his friends to record their album, he always made sure to stop by and talk to you. He would tell you about the album and the boys, and you would tell him about how work was going and your pride and joy, which was your cat named Fleur. On bad days, he would make you smile. On some days, he brought you flowers, on others he brought you tea with compliments written on the cup. You dreamed of the day John would ask you out, and each day you would be let down when he didn’t. But you wouldn’t give up.

You sat at the front desk, organizing papers for Mr. Foster that needed to be done before noon. You checked the clock again. 10:34. You’ve got this, Y/N, why are you even worrying about it? You know you’ll have these done in 10 minutes, You thought to yourself. You knew the real reason behind your stress, though you wouldn’t admit it. You hadn’t seen John’s sunshine face in three days, making you worry that you had said something to upset him. A tap tap tap against your desk made your thoughts end. 

You looked up, seeing a familiar smiling face. You’re little sunshine was back. 

“John!” You exclaimed happily, his fond smile becoming contagious against your lips. “I haven’t seen you in a while, I was starting to worry something had happened.” You admitted, resting your head against the palm of your hand. Y/N, your papers, a voice in the back of your head nagged. You decided to ignore it. 

“No, no, I’m perfectly fine. Really. We’ve just been so busy with the album, haven’t had much time to chat.” He explained shyly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. 

“Well, I’m glad to see your pretty face again. I’ve missed our little talks.” You smiled fondly at John, seeing his face light up to a bright pink color. It was a fun little game you liked to play: see how many times you could get John to blush. It definitely wasn’t one-sided though, for there were many occasions where Mr. Deacon had made your face go hot. 

“I’ve missed them too.” John returned your smile, leaning his elbows against your desk as he conversed with you. You could tell something was off though; he looked as though he was trying to tell you something, but just couldn’t find the words. Finally, he spoke again. 

“Hey, Y/N, I was wondering, what time do you get off?”

Your heart skipped a beat. Was this finally your moment?

“I’m actually off tomorrow.” You replied, trying to remain ‘nonchalant sounding’ but you could tell that it hadn’t been too convincing. 

“Well, what a coincidence! The boys and I have a day off tomorrow as well from pumping out songs for the album,” His signature dorky smile and pink cheeks returned, “I was wondering... well, I was wondering since we’re both conveniently off, if maybe you’d like to hang out tomorrow. Like, well, a date.” 

It took all the strength in you not to jump up and down in excitement in that very moment. But, you controlled yourself. That didn’t stop the big smile stretching across your face though.

“I would love to go on a date with you tomorrow, Deaky.” You cooed. He grinned, a soft chuckle escaping through his lips. 

“Great! Great.” He coughed, trying to calm his enthusiasm. “There’s this great tea shop I know that we can meet at,” He began, pulling a sticky note from your desk and writing down the address of the shop. He handed it to you, a bright smile across his features. You happily took the sticky note, folding it up and putting it in your jacket pocket. 

“I’ll meet you there around 10-ish?” You asked, practically bubbling over with excitement. He nodded quickly, checking the time on his watch.

“I must be going, but I guess, I guess I’ll see you around?” He guessed giddily, slowly backing up as he walked backwards down the hall. You nodded, giving him a small wave. 

“See you tomorrow, Deaks.” 

He grinned, turning around completely as he ran down the hall. You watched him run, seeing him pump his fist up in delight. You saw his three friends come out from behind some furniture of the main lobby, congratulating him. You giggled behind your hand before looking back down at your paperwork once more. 

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

Tap, tap, tap, tap

You blended your base in with your fingers, making sure everything was smooth and even across your face. Even in the most stressful of times, doing makeup had always calmed your nerves. However, you couldn’t stop the butterflies fluttering across your stomach or the way your face would heat up at the thought of John and the date that was in less than an hour.

You tapped a soft powder across your face, setting the base. You smudged a shimmery eyeshadow across the lids of your eyes, brushed mascara through your top and bottom lashes, and ran a clear mascara through your brows to hold them down. You applied a thick clear gloss across your lips, swiping some off your skin when you went a bit over the lines. 

Now the only problem you were faced with: what to wear. Everything you tried on just seemed to either be too much or not enough. You finally decided on denim overalls that were embroidered with elegant pink flowers, a long-sleeved pink and red striped shirt, and red Chuck Taylor All Stars.

“How do I look?” You turned, looking at your cat Fleur, who laid sprawled out across the bed. She lifted her head up, letting out a soft meow, before laying back down. You took that as a sign of approval. 

You only had fifteen minutes or so to get to the tea shop, so you decided to head out early. 

You made your way through the bustling streets of Britain, before finally stopping in front of the quaint little shop. With five minutes to spare, might you add. 

You looked around before spotting John’s familiar long locks. The man had his head in a book, tapping his finger along to the beat of some song as he read. You smiled a bit to yourself, shaking his head. You walked over, standing in front of his booth. 

“Is this seat taken?” You asked playfully. John looked up at you, a fond look appearing across his face. 

“It’s all yours.” He joked back, making you giggle. You sat down across from him, crossing your ankles out of habit. Your Gran had made sure that you always remembered to cross your ankles, not your legs. That was the proper way to do it, you could practically hear her remark. 

“This place is lovely, the scenery is so quaint and cute.” You remarked, smiling as you looked around. The shop was decorated like some sort of Woodstock-esque design. There were posters of the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and many more artists. It had flowers of all sorts of varieties hanging from pots and vases across the store, giving it a lovely dash of color in all the right places. The room smelled of different variations of tea, all of which smelled exceptional. 

“Well, I remembered you telling me so much about how much you loved tea and flowers, so I thought this might be a good place to go.” He said softly, looking back at you shyly through his lashes. You felt your face heat up. No one you had ever been with had been this considerate. 

“You’re sweet, Johnny.” You smiled, resting your hand on your chin as you looked at the flower vase in front of you. “They really should switch the dandelions with those pink asters. The pink would compliment the goldenrods better.” You said, looking at the flowers in front of you. John raised his brows, but his smile never leaving.

“You really know your stuff, huh?”

You looked down at your feet for a moment, letting out a chuckle. “I guess you could say that. I’ve been wanting to be a florist since I was young because my Gran was a florist. She taught me all about different flowers and the way things would compliment each other and all sorts of things. My parents didn’t really think I should become a florist, they said there was no money in it and that people don’t buy flowers anymore.” You shrugged, looking back up at the dark-haired man who had been listening intently. “Besides, if I had been a florist, I would’ve never met you.” 

He smiled at you warmly, glancing at the vase. “Well, I think you should go for it. There’s no shame in trying.” He appealed, looking at you with his soft brown eyes that made you melt. “You’d be perfect at it. You have a cat named Fleur, for God’s sake.” He teased, a playful grin tugging at his lips. You giggled, rolling your eyes playfully and gently tapping his foot with your own. 

“Do not make fun of my cat, Deacon.” You scolded jokingly, a laugh escaping from the two of you. Once the laughter settled down, it was your turn to listen intently. “Well, since you know everything about me, why don’t you tell me things about you?” You asked, arching one of your brows. 

He raised a brow in return, his chin resting on the palm of his hand. “Well, what would you like to know?” 

You tapped your chin, thinking for a moment. “Favorite color? Favorite music artist? Hell, you haven’t even told me what instrument you play in your band.” 

“Well, my favorite color is black. Favorite musical artist? Probably Hendrix or the Beatles. And I play bass.” He spoke softly, looking into your eyes as he spoke. 

“That’s all?” You said as you looked at him, gently tapping his foot with your own. “C’mon, Deaks, there’s gotta be more to you than long hair and a pretty face.” 

His cheeks turned pink, tapping your foot with his in return. “Pretty face, huh?” He blushed, your feet now in an all right war with each other. “I was born August 19th,  1951. I have a band with my best mates, Freddie, Brian, and Roger. I like electronics. I love soul and funk music. I love to tinker. Doesn’t really matter with what, but I’m always fiddling with something around the studio. I also know that I’m on a date with the girl of my dreams and talking to her makes me nervous and giddy at the same time.” 

You felt your face heat up, you knew immediately you were giving the man heart-eyes. “You truly are wonderful, Deaky.” You smiled, reaching over and timidly placing your hand over his. He smiled, interlocking your fingers as he returned your fond gaze. 

You turned to face the window, seeing the rain pour down against the window. You took a deep breath, turning back to John with a sad gaze. “I should be going soon, before the rain gets any worse.” 

John frowned, glancing outside. “I’m not letting you walk home in the storm. It’s too awful.” He began, glancing down at your interlocked hands, before looking at you once more. His cheeks had turned an even deeper shade of pink. “My place isn’t far, if you’d like to stay there for the night. Only if you’d like though. Otherwise I could surely walk you home.” He added quickly, looking down at your hands. 

You smiled a bit at him, reaching over with your free hand and grabbing his other. He looked up at you, and you gave him a loving look. “What are we waiting for, Deaks? Let’s go.” 

[lotus-0398]

A/N:Hello! Im back with a new one. Ive been busy but hope you huys like it!

You can ask me anything and request anything if you like! ✨

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You and Jin met in middle school. You were two years younger then him. He was your senpai in a way. He was alone and you sat by his side to make him company and thats where all started. You two love food, animals, coffee and other stuff. You two began to hang out and even though he graduated and moved to another school for high school. You two would still be in contact. You guys would hang out in arcades, at the pool, having picnic or just a sleep over in his house or yours. You guys were having the best days.

One day he came to you and told you he was a trainee at Big Hit. You were so excited and hugged him. You fully knew that was his dream and you were gonna be there to support him. Also you were beginning to have feelings for him. You dont want to be away from him, you want him to know that youll be there for him, that you care for him, you loved him and that he was everything to you. You didnt dare to tell him yet.

Months have passed, days, hours and you were close to all the members. You brought them food almost every day made by you so they will eat well. Also they debuted and they were being successful. You were happy to see Jins dream coming true, for you studying was hard but it was all worth it to have a future. Thank God you took clases online because you couldnt stand being in a room full of people and having to dress all days just to go to college was something you didnt want. But you could dress up all days for Jin. Yes you love him and still you havent confessed to him. You began to be very shy around him again and talking more to the others. Jin noticed this and one day he took you out of the practice room and placed you to the wall.

“Jin.. wh-whats wrong?”you stuttered. And looked down.

He looked at you and sighed” Why dont you talk to me so much? We used to talk a lot non stop.. did i did something wrong?” He said sad and you grabbed his hand

“No.. you havent done anything bad.. i just...”you kept silent. Thinking if you should tell him.

“Y/N... whats wrong? Is something bothering you?..i would do anything for you to be confortable you know?.. and i have something to tell you.. im gonna explode if i dont tell you.. i.”he bit his lips and looked at you in the eyes” i like you.. like a lot..and i cant stand you talking more with the others than me.. i know we dont like go together because now im a singer.. and having this life is difficult.. plus having someone its even more harder..i..”he kept silent. You looked at him.. you began to tear up and hugged him

“We can work this out.. i like you too.. Jinnie.. i.. ive fallen for you.. but i didnt know how yo say it to you. “You said all shy and he smiled widely.

“So.. you are telling me that.. like a year ago i could have tell you how i felt and we would be Girlfriend and boyfriend by now?”he got closer to you. You blushed immediately and nodded. He chuckled and placed a finger on your chin to make you look at him. He slowly got closer to you and your lips met. It was a sweet and tender kiss. It was better than you expected, he hugged you by the waist still kissing you gently and softly. After a few 5 minutes you two parted and immediately you hide your face in his chest. He laughed at your action and placed a kiss on your head.

“I have to go back sweetie.. ill text you or call you later okay? I love you..”he smiled and walked away waving at you. You only looked at him blushing and waving back at him.

Day by day your relationship was great, amazing, he was lovely, caring, made food for you and had the best dates. But there were times when you two fought because of his work. You knew it would be difficult but its more difficult when you see him on TV flirting with other women because thats his charm. You miss him so much, everyday. And the calls and text are less and less each day since they got even more famous. Going to USA, Japan, Europe and winning the billboard for the first time. You began to feel lonely in your home, you just wanted him to be there by your side. But even though distance is hard between a couple you knew he would never hurt you or chest on you. Besides his members wouldnt let him in any way.

4 years have passed already, four years of relationship, of good and bad moments. But you werent feeling good one day. You felt sick, your hair was falling constantly. You didnt know what was going on but you thought it was something you ate. So you didnt bother to go to a hospital. You told Jin and he immediately got home.

“Babe are you okay?? How do you feel?”he says softly.

“Im better.. but i still very sick..”you said softly..”can we cuddle? Ive missed you a lot... i feel lonely..”you said with tears and he hugged you.

“Im sorry... i know.. but bare with me babe.. im here.. imma do all i can to be here more often or bring you with me..”he says and you smiled softly.

You two cuddle until you fell asleep in his arms. He just admired you and brushed your hair when he noticed he had brought a lot of your hair in his hand. He was in shock. You were losing hair, this wasnt normal. Usually you dont lose that many hair when brushing it. He began to worry even more. He sighed and kissed your cheeks. “I love you..”he said softly..

“I love you too...”you said in your sleep and he giggled.

Three months have passed and you felt even more sick than ever. But you didnt tell anything to Jin. You just pretended to be okay for him. Today you were gonna have a date with him. He sent you a box with all you should wear today. You were very excited so you prepared yourself for today, doing makeup, hair and everything. Jin knocked on the door and you went to open it up and there he was with a bouquet of sunflowers and chocolate. He looked so good in that pink button up shirt and black pants.

“Hello beautiful. How are you today? You look stunning..”he smirked and gave you the flowers.

You giggled and smiled”Thank you handsome. You look amazing, that color suits you..”you gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Mm thanks. Shall we go princess?”he smiled and you nodded.

Both of you went out of the house. It was a very romantic and planned date, he was like a prince and taking good care of you. You loved him and that wasnt a doubt. You two had so much fun talking about everything, eating, drinking and suddenly the other members, your family and his got there. You frowned and looked at him quickly. He was on his knees and you gasped placing your hands on your mouth to hide it. You didnt expect this, you teared up and he began saying:

“Y/N.. we met in middle school in the cafeteria. You sat by my side and talked to me. You were my first friend and only one since then. We fell in love and began our love story 4 years ago. I cant imagine living without you. I promis to take care of you, to make you happy and be there for you always.. i knew from that start that i wanted to be with you forever. That you are the perfect one for me even thought we dont always match or get along in something’s. I love you and.. Y/N would you marry me?”he said wit the biggest smile. You looked at everyone around with tears in your eyes, you looked at him again and nodded non stop. He stood up placed the ring on your finger and hugged you. “I love you princess..” he said and you started crying even harder.

“Also babe.. i want to plan our wedding for the next month. I want to be your husband immediately. “He smiled and you laughed.

“Hahaha really? I mean if you want me that badly why not do it in two weeks?” You said joking

“Thats not bad! Lets do it! I already have things that i want. Lets discuss it later okay?” He said.

You blinked a few times and smiled.”okay..”

He kissed you again softly and you responded. After the dinner and date, he took you home and he made love to you.

Two weeks have passed and today was the day were you and Jin were getting married, everything was planned, it was gonna look beautiful and it was a simple wedding. The most expensive of it all would be the honeymoon and both of your dresses and his. Your friends were helping you get ready. One did your makeup, the other your hair, other helped you put on the dress. You looked perfect, like a princess thats gonna get married to her prince charming. You smiled widely looking at yourself in the mirror.. You still felt very sick but you did all you could to be fine today in your wedding. The girls told you to go since it was time and off you go.

Everything went perfectly and now you were at the reception to dance, eat and have a good time. You were in your second dress, more light and easy to walk. You were looking at Jin dancing with his band mates. You smiled widely but suddenly you felt dizzy, sick, headache, and you passed out.

Jin noticed quickly and went to you. Trying to wake you up but nothing helped. He quickly carried you and went off to the hospital.

*FlashBack to one week ago*

You went to the doctor to get a check up. Because you were still very sick and your hair lose was worrying you too. So you went, waited to be checked. When you went inside and they checked you, gave you a paper to do all the exams and test. You went that same day.. and in a matter of 30 minutes your resulta were available. You went to the doctor again and he gave you the news that you had Cancer. You looked at the doctor in shock at first, but you slowly came to realize what he just said. Tears started to fall, silence among the office and you cried hard. But the worst thing is that the cancer is very advanced and its taking over your body. You cried even more. You stood up and went out, you paid and got to your car. You cried non stop on the way home and you didnt tell anything to Jin. You want him to be happy, you would do anything in your hands for him..

*End of the Flashback*

When he arrived at the hospital, they immediately took you. They did blood test and everything. After a few hours they came to him and said the news that you had terminal cancer. He kneeled down and cried hysterically. His band mates came in that exact moment and hugged him.

“Jin Hyung.. whats wrong?”said JK

“Tell us.. we are here for you..” said RM..

“Y/N...Y/N has terminal cancer “ he cried out loud and they all looked at each other.

“You need to be strong for her Jin hyung..she needs you now more than ever..”Suga said and brushed his hair.

“Suga is right Hyung” said Taehyung.”Its gonna be tough.. but we are with you too Hyung..”he said softly.

Jin stopped crying loud and tried to calm down. He nodded and hugged them.”Thank you guys.. thank you..” he sat down and sighed hiding his face crying again in silence. He felt useless as if he didnt do anything for you. He wasnt home often, the fights, he remembered them all. “i need to do something for her.. i feel like an idiot..i need to show her how much i love her!..”he said softly to his band mates. They all looked at one another and RM smiled.

“I know what you can do.. write your feelings.. what you want to let her know..”RM said softly

“Yeah! Thats a great idea..”said suga”I can help you with the beat.”

Jin looked at them and thought about it” i think is the best way to express my feelings for her.. i love my wife.. i love her.. i.. cant live without her..”he says softly”She is everything to me.. she has been in all stages of my life.. “

Suddenly the doctors came and spoke to Jin. They told him everything and let him go see you. He quickly went and opened the door to see you with the oxygen tubes on your nose, your hair still on fleak, he approached to you and kissed your forehead. “Jagi im here.. i love you..”he said..

You opened your eyes and looked at him smiling softly”Hey honey.. i love you..more.. im sorry i didnt say anything to you..”you teared up and he hugged you.

“Shh.. its okay.. its okay.. im gonna make you more happy.. im gonna do everything for you.. we will go through this until the end.. i love you so much “he kissed you softly and you kissed back with tears. You really love this man very much. He is everything to you.

After two weeks you were released from the hospital. You guys went to have a dinner, then to the park and went home.

“Honey... i want to watch a movie and cuddle up with you...”you said with a low voice.

“What do you want to watch? Something romantic or something funny?”he smiled at you.

“Hmm... lets watch comedy. I want to hear your laughter. “You said with a smile and his heart broke. Why? Because he forgot how to laugh ever since he found out about your cancer. He wasnt himself and he would only pleased you. He looked at you and nodded

“Okay Jagi! Go to bed and ill be right there with the movie alright?”he went to look up a movie and you went to the bedroom. After a few minutes he went up and saw you on the bed all dressed up in a sexy silk short bed dress. He smiled widely. “Wow.. baby... you look amazing!”he hugged you tight and kissed your forehead.”so sexy.. you know how much that dress drives me crazy..”he smirk and you blushed.

“Haha.. it wasnt my intention..or maybe it was” you winked and he laughed hard. You smiled and hugged him. You loved and missed his laughter.. “i like it when you laugh... i know that you are trying to make everything for me.. to make me more happy.. to be with me and pleased me... but lets be happy together.. lets be pleased together.. yeah? It makes me happy seeing you laugh.. lets go normal again? Yeah? Lets just live the moment. Can you do that for me?”you grabbed his face and looked at him with teary eyes and he looked at you with teary eyes too. Jin just nodded and kissed you softly. But that kissed became a needy one and hungry. That ended up in bed making love to one another.

The next morning he had to work so he left you a letter, he made you breakfast and did everything before work. When he got to the company the guys were waiting for him.

“Jin hyung!”said suga very cutely for some reason.

“Oh.. hey Suga.. whats up?”he said relaxed.

“I fixed a bit the song you composed and its great. I cried so much just so you know”he smiled with his gummy smile.

“Really?? Wow.. thank you!”said Jin happy.

“Now you need to go to RM”suga said and Jin did as he said. He knocked on the door of his studio.

“Namjoon? Are you here? Its me..” said Jin

“Jin Hyung! Come on in.. Jhope just picked the beat and now we need to record” Rm looked at him.”You okay?”

“Yeah im okay. And thank you for helping me.”he smiled .

“Anything for you and your wife Hyung”Rm smiled”Now lets work”he giggled and Jin nodded.

They began the recording process, they record plenty more to make sure he was doing it right. Then the hearing if its okay, fixing mistakes, etc. After 9hr working and doing everything they finished it and it was done and good to go. He smiled and went home. When he arrived you were in the bathroom vomiting blood. You didnt felt good. Your cancer was killing you, it was advancing.

“Jagi? Are you here love?”he said softly. You didnt respond. “Baby? “He ran quickly to your bedroom, you werent there, he went to the bathroom and there you were sitting, looking all weak and pale. He bit his lips trying not to cry and sat down by your side rubbing your back.”You okay? Need to go to the hospital?”he said softly and you said no with your head. He picked you up and hugged you. He walked to the bedroom and laid you there softly, then he cuddle you up to his chest.”Jagi... i want you to hear me.. can you?”he saids with a smile and kissed your forehead. You just nodded weakly.

He began to sing softly.

‘We're too different

You know that well

We aren't able to embrace

Each other's realities

 "I don't understand"

"I don't remember"

Words that will always just be words

I don't expect them

 I love you (x5)

To your warm touch...

 I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

 To your warm touch...

 Please hold me

Please catch me’

You were crying softly and he felt your tear since the were falling on to his shirt.

“Dont cry Jagi.. i love you”he kissed you softly and you responded the same way. You loved this man so much. He was everything to you and you are everything to him. After a while both of you went to sleep. It was a peaceful night until you got up and ran to the bathroom. You were feeling more ill than ever and began to vomit and fell on the floor of the bathroom. “Agh... mm...”you tried to get up but you didnt have strength, hou felt your vision getting more blurry and blurry until you passed out. Jin immediately heard something hit the floor and ran to the bathroom. There you were all weak and unconscious. He panicked but tried to relax. He picked you up and soon he was driving to the hospital crying non stop. He texted his band mates. He got to the hospital and they took you. He just sat in the waiting room and cried in silence. The boys got there as soon as possible, saw him and hugged him tight, all of them and Jin broke crying out loud. “I dont want to lose her... i cant lose her please...”he said with a crack on his voice.

“Shhh she will get better hyung”said Jimin.

“Try to stay calm okay?”said Namjoon.

After a few hours the doctors came and talked to Jin. You were in a room but they said you wont make it. He froze and bit his lips. They had you in intensive care but you were no longer in the body. You were not gonna wake up. He immediately went to see you. He grabbed you hand softly, kissed it, kiss your forehead and your lips.”Jagi... i dont know if youll hear me but.. here i go.. i love you with all my heart... the day i first met you was.. like magic.. i fell in love with you in an instant. Youre my everything... with you i have it all.. without you. Im empty... i love you so damn much.. if i lose you ill lose my mind but... dont fight if you cant no more... if you have to leave me do it.. i know youll take care of me from heaven.. i know youll be watching me and supporting me.. i.”he broke crying but tried to finish” im so glad i met you and have you as my wife.. youre the love of my life forever and ever. Ill miss you..”he kissed your lips softly and when he finished kissing you.... you passed away. He could hear the machines going blank. He bit his lips hard and cried softly, he hugged you one last time. He went out the room and the boys were there outside.

“Hyung! What happened?”said Jungkook.

“She... she is not with us anymore..she passed.. away..”his lips trembled and tears were falling down his cheeks. Everyone gasped and their eyes went wide. They immediately hugged him.

Months have passed since you passed away, Jin was okay but he was missing his other part: you. They were on tour and nobody knew you passes away. Only Bighit employees and the guys. He misses you so much. When they went up stage and sang all of the song in this new comeback and stuff. They got to the end were they all thank and say how much they love ARMY. Bow it was Seokjins turn.

“Armyyyyyyyyyy!!!”he said with a smile. “Aaaaarrrrmyyyyyyy”he said playing.” Um.. i wanted to thank all of you and the staff for everything. Army is the reason why i wake up.. and keep going.. because..”he started to tear up.” As you all knew i got married.. and my Jagi is everything to me... i loved that woman with all my heart. But for the past few months ago she got ill and.. she died three month ago..”his voiced cracked and cried in silent ,the others cried too.”she was everything to me.. i feel empty but.. im glad im here today in front of you Army.. and sing this special song that.. is dedicated to my wife..”he smiled with tears and he began to sing ‘I love you’.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! 😭💜