#both of us deal with depression

[tacthescribbler]

I hate complaining in public (in this case, on my blog where strangers on the internet can see it), but I need someone (other than my close friends who hear me bitch about this all the time) to know how much I need my sibling to move out.

I am a solitary person. They were only supposed to live with me "for a few months," to quote their own plans.

They have been living with me for over 5 years.

There are a myriad other issues I have, but this is what I'm frustrated with at this moment.

It's dumb. Cost of living is high. Groceries cost too much. 5 years isn't even that long, in the grand scheme of things. I should be happy that my sibling isn't on the street with no roof over their head.

But in this moment, there is nothing I want more than:

To rearrange my apartment back to the way I had it before my sibling moved in.

To not have the presence of another human being pervading my space for all hours of the time that my sibling is not at work

To not be forced to leave my home to get any time/space to myself

To be able to do things without feeling like I'm always being heard/watched

To know that when I put my dishes away, they go where they belong and won't shift places every time they get washed

My sibling flew to visit our parents a few years ago. They were gone for a month. The moment they left the apartment, I felt so much freer and happier. My depressive symptoms practically evaporated.

I'm sorry I feel this way, but I'm also having strong feelings and I'm frustrated.

[mamawasatesttube]

timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[kyuala]

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

[maliro-t]

as a bona fide vaxleth lover i am more confused than ever about how they are portrayed on the animated series i'm not gonna lie 😭

[soft-serve-soymilk]

help I’ve started listening to my chemical romance 😭

[legendariium]

Maeglin had to grow up so fast and yet he died so young, too. somethingsomething dior parallel and the difference having a loving parent vs. an abusive parent can make

[philsmeatylegss]

I made a uquiz a few months ago and one of the questions was pick one of my unpopular opinions that you hate the most and my far the most picked answer was “it’s okay to drop your friend/partner because of their mental illness” and i was truly not expecting that one i was pretty sure that wasn’t even unpopular

[cyberstabbing]

i hate bad and abusive parents so much. they're the reason my best friend has so much trauma and so many mental health issues. and then to kick her out? and then to somewhat reconcile like nothing happened? it's just so awful to see my best friend struggle mentally and barely (and not even tbh) make rent and Knowing that her parents won't be any help at all. like if she has to move back with her mom it's going to be okay for a while and then her mom will start drinking again and all hell with break loose. and her dad is either incredibly oblivious or just chooses to pretend like nothing is wrong while he plays house with his new family. when my best friend lived with me for 9 months after she got kicked out, even my stepdad daydreamed about going to meet her dad so he could yell at him for not taking care of his daughter. anyways now she's trying drugs with her equally unwell partner and they're not being safe and her eating disorder is getting worse. so her other best friend and i are meeting up to figure out what to do.

[kingdomoftyto]

Anyone interested in a Sea Grunkles fic that'll make you bawl your eyes out? Have I got a rec for you

Please enjoy this fic about Stan and Ford's post-canon adventures in the Arctic, featuring selkies, Atlantis, and so, so much hurt/comfort

I frequently find myself dramatically flailing around at fics when they're depicting something funny or embarrassing, but this is the first one in a long time to make me cover my face with my hands out of pure visceral emotion. I literally almost sobbed. But in a good, cathartic way? Man. I can't explain further without spoiling the best parts.

(Please mind the content warnings because mental health struggles are a central theme, but trust when I say everything turns out okay in the end!)

[phagodyke]

why are glasses so expensiveeeee

[incrcls]

Growing up without support has left me in the strange position where I do not know if my urge to isolate now, amidst having another rough period, is a result of that or if I can blame my strange mental gymnastics. When things get difficult, there's a variety of ways it can manifest, but, like now, a common version is the 'dangerously low self esteem, hopelessness, mistrust / paranoia.' I want to pester everyone I know until they've told me fifty different ways that they care for me, get the reassurance that I am not too terrible. I don't, usually because I recognize that urge as "irrational" or "bothersome when done frequently," or, quite simply, "abnormal." But because I'm tangled in a pit of bad thoughts, the rational solution is always to isolate myself. Isolation, as you can imagine, isn't exactly pleasant though. I've forced myself into a box where the most company I have is a negative feedback loop from my thoughts. There's so many things I can't do that it becomes maddening - I essentially have to be the pinnacle of Rationality & Kindness or else I'm another abuser in the making. However, it's also just bizarre asking for reassurance after getting used to handling everything myself.

[alittleemo]

.

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

#the people upset about Criston being Dornish are constantly stating Dorne is white so why does it really matter? (via @thewitchqueenofharrenhal)

i say ‘i’d love to know why’ but i know the reason people on twitter are actually weird about criston being dornish is that they view media in terms of overwatch diversity points and the team with more overwatch diversity points is morally superior. same as the alicent wasn’t a child bride argument it’s a concern to concede like. abused(5points) woman(3points) dornish(7points) lowborn(6points) because, if diversity is morally weighted, that would imply you think the greens are morally defensible or even superior to rhaenyra. leading to this bizarre refusal to acknowledge these morally neutral traits characters have. anyway clubfoot(10points) so unfortunately larys still 🔛🔝