#both of them performing legally blonde 17 years

[personinthepalace]

17 years later, and they still got it 🥺

[bibiuksha]

seeing footage of LBB performing legally blonde songs makes me so happy ahh…17 years ago man. both her and christian still got it in them haha. her doing the spinning choreo and the jump at the end of so much better wahhhh 😭😭😭

[freddyfreebat]

Jack Dylan Grazer Discovers Who He Is in Luca Guadagnino's “We Are Who We Are”

After supporting roles in the It and Shazam!, the young actor shifts gears with his turn as a capricious army brat in the Call Me By Your Name director's new HBO series.

by Iana Murray / Photography by Nik Antonio  —  September 14, 2020

A few years ago, Jack Dylan Grazer took a trip to the movie theater. He was in Toronto and it was one of his days off from filming Shazam!, the DC comedy in which he plays the shape-shifting hero’s foster brother. He decided to watch Call Me By Your Name, and he immediately fell for it. Grazer took note of the director’s name that appeared in the credits—Luca Guadagnino—and turned to his mother.

“I want to work with him,” he told her. With eerie prescience, she assured him: “You will.”

Whether Grazer, now 17, has a knack for manifestation, or it was all just happenstance, his wish came true in the form of We Are Who We Are, Guadagnino’s coming of age drama which follows a group of army brats living on an American military base in Italy. Thematically, the show is something of a spiritual successor to Call Me By Your Name: Grazer plays Fraser, a tempestuous 14-year-old with a pair of headphones constantly plugged in his ears. He’s the new arrival at the base with his mothers (Chloë Sevigny and Alice Braga), and quickly forms a deep bond with his neighbour, Caitlin (Jordan Kristine Seamon), as they both wrestle with their sexuality and identity in the midst of domestic troubles and teenage debauchery.

“He’s an enigma to himself,” Grazer says of his character. “He doesn’t really understand a lot of the things he does but he’s so forthright so he convinces himself that he knows everything. He feels like other people don’t deserve his intelligence. But he’s also very volatile and aggressive at times, and not because he’s coming from an angry place but because he’s constantly questioning who he is.”

If Fraser is just beginning his coming of age when we first meet him, Grazer is inching closer to the end. Starring in enormous blockbusters including IT, he became the Loser Club’s resident hypochondriac at age 12 and a superhero’s sidekick by 15. His films have grossed a combined total of over $1.5 billion. Suddenly the stakes are multiplied tenfold during what are ostensibly, and horrifyingly, the most awkward years of your life. Every misstep is now being monitored, examined through a microscope of millions. (See: His 3.8 million fans on Instagram, to say nothing of the countless stan accounts.) Child fame is a disarming transaction like that: a stable career and all the other perks of being a celebrity, but at the cost of normalcy. That unalleviating pressure forces a kid to mature fast.

Grazer is acutely aware of this fact, admitting outright that he’s “not a normal person.” But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I became 70 when I was 7!” he laughs. “I don’t know if I really had much of a childhood. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to grow up really fast.”

Nevertheless, he’s still 17. When we meet over Zoom, his shoulder length curls are damp and disheveled (he just got out of the shower), his black painted fingernails contrast with his brightly-lit, white bedroom as he rests his face on his hand. It’s a Saturday morning and he looks tired: It’s his first week back at school, which has traded classrooms for hours of video calls reminiscent of the one we’re currently on. “It feels like the days are shorter because the teachers don’t want to torture their students by keeping them on a computer for six hours a day,” he tells me. “You do miss the social aspect of being at school.”

If you were to judge Grazer by what’s out there on the internet, you’d expect an anarchic and relentless bundle of energy. A quick YouTube search brings up results like “jack dylan grazer being a drama queen” and “jack dylan grazer being chaotic in interviews for 4 and a half minutes straight.” He trolled a YouTube gamer on Instagram Live. His TikToks are inscrutable.

But here, he’s incredibly earnest, as he excitedly talks about his skateboarding hobby (a skill he picked up after auditioning for Mid90s) and his attempts to learn the flute (“I need to learn how to read sheet music, but it’s like reading Hebrew!”). He’s calm and thoughtful, as if this project we’re discussing requires a shift in sensibility.

For Grazer, acting had always simply been fun. While other kids might take up a sport or get hooked on video games, he performed in musical theater with the Adderley School because he “just wanted to play.” His roles so far have been reflective of his carefree approach to the job: Up until now, he’s portrayed best friends with biting one-liners, or the younger version of the protagonist in a flashback. IT is a prime example of both. In the horror franchise, Grazer plays a neurotic germaphobe running from a fear-eating clown, but in reality, the film felt like “summer camp.” Both films never felt like work; he just learned his lines and got to hang out on extravagant sets with his best friends. Likewise, school amounted to being pulled off set by a teacher in between takes to cram in the mandatory hours.

But with We Are Who We Are, he steps into his first leading role, one that required him to convey longing and confusion through Elio-like physicality and subtext. It’s abnormal to talk about the show as a turning point for an actor who isn’t even a legal adult yet, but Grazer explains that the show required him to radically change his approach to acting. He spent six months in Italy (“It felt like I was in Call Me By Your Name.”) and built up the character beyond what was on the page in collaboration with Guadagnino. “His philosophy is that we know our characters better than anyone else—even the writers—because we are the characters essentially,” he explains.

In many ways, Grazer absorbed that philosophy entirely. He describes the experience less as a performance and more like a “rebirth”—perhaps even an attempt at method acting. Over those months in Italy, the distinctions between actor and character gradually became indistinguishable. “I had no other choice but to act and surrender to Fraser entirely and throw Jack Dylan Grazer out the window,” he says. “I would go out and get a coffee as Fraser and walk like Fraser. That was just me trying to get into [character], but then I slipped at some point and just became Fraser.”

One day on set, he looked at himself in the mirror, and the hardened kid standing there with a bleach-blond dye job and oversized shorts was unrecognizable to him. He could only see Fraser. While talking about his character, he seems to unintentionally switch pronouns, from “he” to “I”, as if the two still remain one and the same.

The process was so transformative that it forced him to re-evaluate himself entirely. “I never really struggled with identity before,” Grazer tells me. “But I think the show opened up my eyes to question myself. Being Fraser forced me to question what I wanted and what I stood for and what I believed in. At some points, the show bled into reality.”

When asked how he has changed, he takes a pause and a pensive swivel in his armchair, unsure of how to answer. “I think I was more ignorant before I did the show,” he says, and he leaves it at that.

Coming of agers are a particularly well-trodden genre, but there’s a naturalistic, raw energy to We Are Who We Are that is distinctive from what we’ve seen before. Each character quietly struggles with their own problems and growing pains—for Fraser, it’s his sexuality. Caught in a fraught relationship with his lesbian mother and an infatuation with another man, his story doesn’t tick off the familiar beats. His personal discovery is instead internal and intimate. "I think every single person born as a boy has this guard. It’s this guard that they don’t even realize they have, where they’re initially like, ‘Being gay? I could never.’ But we’re all born as humans who are attracted to whatever we’re attracted to," he says. "I think that’s how Fraser interprets it as well. Yes, he’s reserved and nervous about it in the beginning because he’s unlocking this new idea for himself. He’s figuring it out, and that’s what you see in the show: him coming to terms with this idea."

As our conversation winds to a close, I ask him if Martin Scorsese ever visited the set—his daughter, Francesca, plays the confident cool girl of the show’s teen cohort—and his eyes widen. “That was actually a really stressful day,” he divulges. Still, he revels in the memory, speaking so fast it’s like someone has put him on 2.5x speed as he shows off his impersonation of Guadagnino. The director was so nervous about Scorsese’s presence that production halted that day.

“Luca was like, ‘I cannot do this today because Martin Scorsese is on my set. I don’t know what to do, this is not good for me. I will have a panic attack before the day ends,’” Grazer says in his best Italian accent. “It’s like if you’re a painter and Van Gogh shows up.” 

Admittedly, Grazer is also a self-proclaimed superfan of the Wolf of Wall Street director, and afterwards, he got to spend several days with his idol, as they went on lavish restaurant outings in Italy and talked about anything and everything.

He takes a second to compose himself. A giddy, Cheshire cat smile spreads across his face. The kid in him comes flooding back.

“...Oh my god!” he yells. “I met Martin Scorsese!”

[ag-celestina-gorillaz]

Daisies and Daffodolls Day 17: Book Series

Sorry I've been MIA a lot. I've been busy doing sewing stuff (next photo challenge I'll prepare a few weeks in advance). But anyways, I took a pic of Celestina in what would be her meet outfit. Celestina's story is different in many ways than other AG characters. For one thing, she's my Gorillaz OC as well, so her story involves some Gorillaz lore as well, and her story starts at age 11 in middle school in 2016 and goes to at least 2020 when she's 15. Basic outline, Celestina is a cheerful creative girl living in Orbitz Ohio. She was raised by her mom Sharon and her stepmom Mia, (they got married in 2015 when gay marriage became legal in the US), and her dad is Stuart "2-D" Pot, the lead singer of the British band Gorillaz. In her story, Celestina faces many changes, such as her Mom starting a new paramedic job, her dad returning to England to reunite with the rest of Gorillaz to record Humanz, as well as starting her first year in middle school. I'm actually planning to write a whole book, maybe more, about Celestina, and post the chapters here on tumblr. I think I'll go ahead and post the first chapter here as a preview, but I'll post the full story later, maybe with illustrations.

Summary - It's the year 2016, and Celestina is starting her first year of middle school.  While she's excited for a fresh start of the new year, she's also nervous.  School uniforms, more classes, more teachers, and new classmates.  Unfortunately, the school year starts out on a sour note, she barely shares any classes with her best friend, and in homeroom class, she gets paired up with Lucy Phillips, a cold, aloof, yet mysterious, new girl from Britain.  Meanwhile, things aren't easier at home either, her dad ends up returning to the UK to reunite with his fellow band members to record their next album, and her mom begins work at her new paramedic job.  But when Celestina begins to get close with Lucy, the new girl's iciness starts to melt, and they both learn they have more in common than they thought.  

Celestina's Family and Friends

Celestina Damon - An excitable 11 year old girl starting her first year of middle school in the year 2016.  

Sharon Damon - Celestina's mother, a practical, but cheerful, lady.  She starts working a new job as a paramedic.  

Mia Lucci - Sharon's wife and Celestina's stepmother, a funny and kind woman, she's always there when Celestina needs advice.  She runs and works at The Leaning Tower of Pizza pizzeria with her twin sister Gina.  

Stuart "2-D" Pot - Celestina's father, and lead singer of the British band Gorillaz.  He isn't quite wired like other people, but in his own 2-D way, he's very deep, and he's also got a big heart.  Despite the troubles that come with being a long distance parent, he loves Celestina immensely and tries to be in her life as much as possible.  

Kailey Green - Celestina's next door neighbor and best friend since childhood.  A smart and sweet girl, if a little awkward.  A self proclaimed theater nerd.  Often gives Celestina the nickname "Lessie".

Lucy Phillips - A new girl in Celestina's homeroom, who's family arrived from Britain.  She seems mysterious and comes off as cool and guarded, but in reality, she's a little shy, and becomes much kinder and sweeter once you get to know her.  

Chapter 1

New Year, New School, New Hope

The alarm clock on the bedside table chirped on and on as Celestina Damon slept in, nestled in her soft, pastel colored, blankets.  She was dreaming a wonderful dream; Celestina, rocking a sparkly, purple, galaxy print dress, was singing in front of a sold out crowd on her first performance.  Fans in the crowd were holding handmade signs and cheering her name.  Here she is posing for pictures with fans!  There she is signing autographs!  She finishes her last song of the show, wishing the audience a good night.  The crowd erupted into a thunderous roar of applause, fans shouting her name "Celestina!  Celestina!  Celestina! -"

"CELESTINA!!! WAKE UP!!!"  

That did it!  At the sound of her mom's voice, the young girl jolted up from her bed with a start. "Gah!" she exclaimed.  Her wavy blue hair was messy and needed brushing, and she was no longer clad in galaxy print, but rather, blue and white pajamas with panda bears printed all over.  Celestina ground the sleep out of her eyes and smashed the "stop" button on her alarm. 

"Okay, I'm awake Mom!" said Celestina, slightly irritated.  Her mom chuckled.

"Hey, if I let you have your way, you'd be asleep until lunchtime." laughed Mom.  "I told you not to stay up too late."

"I didn't stay up late!" Celestina protested, "I'm just, not used to waking up this early."  She was kinda right.  Today was the first day of the new school year, after three months of staying up and sleeping in later than usual, it can be hard to get back on a schedule.  

"Fair enough," said Mom, "but I can't always be around to make you wake up, especially now, you understand?"  Celestina nodded.  What her mom had meant was that she just got hired to work as a paramedic at a new ambulance company, which meant that some days she had to go in early.  Unfortunately, it also means that she would come home later after working many hours, some nights possibly after when Celestina was supposed to go to bed.  Luckily, today was only her orientation, which wouldn't start for a few hours, so her Mom could drop her off on her first day of school, but she was still dressed in her work uniform, black boots, navy blue pants with lots of pockets, and a wine red shirt with the ambulance's logo embolized on the left breast, and her curly blonde hair was tied up in a long ponytail.  

Speaking of uniforms.  Not only was Celestina starting her first day of school, but it's the first day of a new school, specifically, middle school.  Okay, so technically this school is a combo middle and high school, so not only does she have to deal with the 7th and 8th graders, but also all the high schoolers as well.  And all the students have to wear uniforms.  Actually, the uniform itself wasn't that bad, it was pretty cute, the top was a rich shade of purple with a white collar and ribbon, and a white pleated skirt that fell below the knees, had a "sailor suit" sorta look to it, kinda like what an anime character would wear.  All the same, Celestina couldn't understand why she just couldn't just wear her regular clothes to school, you know, like everyone did in elementary school.  Sigh, another change to have to get used to.  Mom caught Celestina eyeing her uniform.  

"Well get dressed, hon." said Mom, "And come downstairs for breakfast.  I think Mia made some chocolate chip pancakes!"  Mmm, just the thought of those pancakes made Celestina's mouth water.  

"Okay, you win." laughed Celestina, giving her mom a hug.  "I'll be down in a few."  After Mom had left the room, Celestina got dressed, brushed and pulled her long wavy blue hair into a ponytail, using a hairband with two pink poofballs on it.  Before she left to go downstairs, she looked toward the corner of her room, and saw Scratchy, her fluffy gray bunny, stirring around in her cage.  

"Hey there Scratchy!" she cooed, giving the bunny little pats.  She then slipped a little chew treat for her to play with.  "Be good while I'm at school, okay?" 

The young girl grabbed her backpack, filled to the brim with school supplies, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.  The aroma of chocolate chip pancakes and maple syrup filled the room.  Mom had seated herself at the kitchen table, eating her small stack of pancakes, and Mia, Celestina's stepmom, was busy flipping the pancakes at the stove.  Her mother, Sharon, and Mia have only been married for less than a year, but Mia has lived with Celestina and her Mom her whole life.  They probably would have married sooner had it been allowed before last year!  Mia is a pretty lady, tall, tan skin, and shiny dark brown hair, and she's a great cook.  Her and her sister Gina (Aunt Gina to Celestina), run a pizza place called Leaning Tower of Pizza.  

"Pancakes, comin' up!" shouted Mia to Celestina.  Mia still spoke with a New York accent, despite the fact that she's been living in Ohio for at least 15 years.  She served the girl her pancakes before sliding her own onto a plate.  Celestina took her breakfast to the table and poured on the sweet maple syrup.  She cut a piece and took a bite, mmmm, was so good.  Her smile fell slightly looking around the room.  She couldn't get used to the empty space at the table.  

"What's wrong?" asked Mia, noticing Celestina's frown, "Don't you like chocolate pancakes?"

"I LOVE them!" exclaimed Celestina. "I just wish Dad was here to have some."  Mia and Susan exchanged a look of understanding. 

"You miss him don't you." said Mia.  Celestina nodded. 

"Yup!" said Celestina.  It was actually more than that.  She paused a bit, trying to think of how to put it into words, "I mean, I dunno, I guess I'm also a bit worried, you know, about him leaving again."  Celestina's eyes looked down at her pancakes.  Talking about stuff like that always made her uneasy.  

Celestina's dad, her whole family life in general really, was, well, unusual to say the least.  For one thing, her parents weren't married when her mom had her, in fact, they split up shortly before Sharon found out she was pregnant.  Whatever, no biggie, there are lots of kids whose parents are like that, people who have children before they got married, or had kids and didn't stay together.  However, it was even more complicated in Celestina's case, because her mom is American and her dad is British, meaning it's harder for her to see her dad on a regular basis because he lives so far away.  Also, her dad is famous.  Celestina's father is none other than Stuart Pot, better known as 2-D, the lead singer of Gorillaz.  Yes, that 2-D!  It's been awhile since the band did any songs together though, the last album, Plastic Beach, was released when Celestina was 5, but a couple years before that, something else happened, and that's what worried Celestina.  For a short while after Celestina was born, 2-D would often call the house to say hi, sometimes even visit.  But after a visit that Dad made sometime when she was 3, he had gone on a trip somewhere, and suddenly vanished.  Her mom tried to keep calm around her when she asked where Dad was, but even as a kid, Celestina could kinda tell that her Mom was worried about him.  The sudden release of a new Gorillaz album didn't help either.  At one point, her Mom told her stories that 2-D and Murdoc Niccals, the band's foul mouthed, green skinned, bassist, were taken by pirates and trapped on an island called Plastic Beach, an island in the middle of the ocean made of garbage and spray painted pink.  Looking back, Celestina wasn't sure if this all really happened or if this was something Mom was making up, but she knew something happened that made her dad unable to contact her for awhile.  Shortly before Celestina was 8, her dad had called her on the phone for the first time in years.  

"Celestina, is that you?" said 2-D in his thick Londoner accent, "You sound so big!  How old are you now?"

"I'm gonna be 8, Dad!" answered Celestina proudly, "I'm a big kid!" 

"8!?  Wow!  You really grew up!" exclaimed 2-D, Celestina could hear the tears caught in his throat. "I've missed you so much!" 

After a brief vacation, or "holiday" as her dad called it, in Guadalupe, he visited Celestina and the family for the first time in a while, right in time for her 8th birthday.  And since then, he had been able to keep in better contact, and came to visit Celestina in person more often these last few years, as if to make up for missing out for those last 5 years.  She even got to fly with him to England one time and met her grandparents, David and Rachel Pot, for the first time at the amusement park that Grandpop had owned.  This year, 2-D stayed in the guest room for a few months, he was able to keep Celestina company during the summer while Sharon was taking paramedic classes, and Mia was working at Leaning Tower.  2-D had been helping Celestina with her budding interest in music, teaching her how to play her new blue Melodica, a small keyboard with a flute-like pipe in it.  When they weren't practicing, the father daughter duo would watch scary zombie movies, or listen to some older Gorillaz songs on Celestina's old CD player.  On June 23rd, the whole family, and a few of Celestina's friends from school, celebrated her 11th birthday with a bonfire cookout in the backyard.  It was a wonderful summer.

But all this fun and excitement of summer had to come to an end.  It was now time for school, and just as well, Dad left to go back to England, rather suddenly at that.  Somehow, one of his old band mates, Noodle, the guitarist and the only girl in the band, (and Celestina's favorite band member, next to Dad of course), ended up getting back in contact with him.  Apparently, the band was getting back together to make a new album called Humanz, which would be released sometime next year.  Like always, Celestina was sad to see him leave, but she was also worried too, maybe because a part of her is scared he would go missing again.  

Sharon put a comforting hand on Celestina's shoulder.  "It'll be okay," she reassured her daughter, "He said he's gonna text us when he arrives to meet the others.  Plus, he said you can visit him during spring break."  

"I know," nodded Celestina.  She finishes up her pancakes, thinking about everything going on.  Mom's starting a new job, Dad's going back to England, I'm starting a new year in a new school, and we have to wear uniforms!  So far so good, she thought sarcastically.  She rinsed her dirty plate in the sink and slipped on her black flats to meet Mom out in the car.

"Are we taking Kailey today?" asked Mom.  Kailey Green is Celestina's best friend and next door neighbor.  

"No, Mrs. Green wanted to take her this morning," answered Celestina, "but she's picking both of us up after school."

"Okay, good," said Mom, "let's get going, you don't wanna be late," she checks her watch "and neither do I!" she laughed.  Celestina gave Mia a hug goodbye.

"Have a good day at school, rockstar." said Mia lovingly.  "I'm coming home from Leaning Tower about an hour after you get home from school, okay girlie."

"'Kay 'kay, I got it." smiled Celestina.  She gives Mia a fist bump, complete with a little explosion sound effect.  

"You have a good day at school," then she turns to Mom "And good luck with orientation Sharon."  Mom gives Mia a loving kiss on the cheek.  

"Bye honey," said Mom grabbing her keys.  "I should be home by dinner tonight."  Celestina and her mother wave goodbye to Mia before getting in the car.  As Sharon drove on to the school, Celestina sat in her seat nervously, her breakfast doing flip flops in her stomach.  

"Are you doing okay back there?" asked Sharon, looking at her daughter in the rearview mirror.

"I dunno," she answered.  "Honestly, I'm pretty nervous.  Middle school sounds kinda scary.  All these classes, new teachers, ugh, no recess, school uniforms," she grimaced.  She had so many thoughts, so many "what-if's", that they started coming out one after another.  "What if I don't like my teachers?  What if me and Kailey don't have any classes together?  What if all the classes are too hard?  What if I get bullied by the older kids?  What if -" 

"Celestina!" said Mom suddenly, "sweetie, sweetie, it's alright." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I know this isn't something you want to hear, but I kinda know how you feel.  I was nervous starting middle school when I was your age.  And, if I'll be fully honest, I can relate to how you're feeling right now.  I'm a bit nervous starting this new job."

Celestina looked up in surprise, "You are?" she wondered.  "But you said you were excited."  Mom gave Celestina a loving smile.

"And I am," answered Sharon, "But I have so many mixed feelings.  I'm worried I won't be good enough, I'm worried the boss could be a jerk, or that I won't like my co-workers.  So many things can go wrong.  But," she paused before continuing, "There are also good things I'm looking forward to as well.  I'll be able to use the skills I worked hard learning in all these classes, I'll be able to help people, I'll be bringing home a little more money, which means we will be able to go out more often." she said with a smile.  "It's normal to be scared and nervous, it's okay in fact.  But you also have so many good things to look forward to.  Yes you have more classes, but you get to have more classes you enjoy, like music and art.  And even if you don't have any classes with Kailey, you'll always be able to see her because we're neighbors.  If you're having a problem, whether it's classes, mean kids, or even a mean teacher, you can always come to me or Mia.  I just want you to know, even if the bad things do happen, there are also a lot of good thing to come, I want you to remember that."  Celestina thought over what her mom had said.  She did have a few good points.

"I did hear that the music department puts on a school musical every year," said Celestina, feeling a bit more hopeful, "And there's all these fun clubs".  Sharon's eyes lit up.  

"See, there you go!" said Mom. 

"It just seems like so many things are changing at the same time." Celestina admitted, "it just feels so fast, I feel like I can barely take a breath."  

"I know, it sucks, it really does." said Sharon in an understanding tone.  "The funny thing is, is that the only thing that never changes, is that everything changes."

"That's so confusing to think about!" said Celestina laughing.  

"Ah, but that's the truth," said Sharon with a chuckle.  "But you know what else will never change?"

"No what?" asked Celestina.

"I'll always love you," Mom answered warmly, "The same goes for Mia, and for your dad, we will never stop loving you.  You are our child, and nothing will ever change that."  

"Aw mom, I love you too!" she exclaimed.  At that moment, Celestina's cell phone chirped with a new message.  Oops, better silence it before class, she thought, making a mental note.  But seeing who the message was from made her smile.  

"Ooh I got a text from Dad!" shouted Celestina in excitement.  The text read "i made it to studio 13 in london.  about to start recording for the new album.  I miss you already, but i'm happy to be home again.  russ, noodle and murdoc say hi.  say hi to your mum for me.  love you little panda bear."  Celestina smiled at the mention of the special nickname her dad gave her.  Attached with the message was a picture.  It was a group photo of the whole band in what looked like the inside of a recording studio.  Celestina had yet to meet the other band members in person, but she knew who they were from the music videos and interview clips on YouTube, and from a few stories from her dad.  There was Murdoc Niccals, the band's bassist, and probably the biggest troublemaker of the band.  He has an odd scrunched up nose, and green skin and black hair, sorta made Celestina think of the Gangreen Gang from The PowerPuff Girls.  Then there was Russel Hobbs, the drummer, a heavyset black man from New York, with bright white eyes lacking pupils, a result of being possessed by a demon when he was young.  He seemed to be the voice of reason in the band, and when he speaks in interviews, he has a gentle voice.  Then there was Noodle, the guitarist, and the only girl in the band.  Celestina almost didn't recognize her at first, she's so used to seeing her in the music videos back when she was a kid or a young teen, and now she's a beautiful grown up woman!  Noodle was not much older than Celestina is now when the band released their first album, and according to her dad, when they were first looking for a guitarist, Noodle traveled from Japan all the way to England, in a FedEx delivery crate, and gave such an epic explosive guitar solo, that the band ended up giving her the part on the spot.  Celestina likes to imagine that if they were the same age, she and Noodle would be great friends.  And in the middle of the pic was her dad, 2-D himself.  He's tall and wiry, the tallest of all the band members in fact, he has spikey blue hair, and due to two separate car accidents (which were Murdoc's fault), he lost his front tooth, and his eyes were injured, they now look like blank black circles.  Murdoc gave him the nickname 2-D because his black eyes made it look like he had "two dents'' in his head.  Surprisingly, her dad liked that nickname, at this point, the only people who really call him Stu anymore would be Nana and Grandpop, as well as Sharon and Mia.  People would often describe her dad as, well, not very bright, sometimes saying he's thick and calling him names like "space cadet", but Celestina doesn't like any comments like that.  To Celestina, her dad has his own 2-D way of thinking, and his creativity with making music is where he shines the best, and he's got a kind heart.  In the attached picture, all four band mates were smiling (even Murdoc), and that made Celestina happy, seeing her dad and his old friends all back together.  

"That's great!" said Mom, "What does the message say?" 

"Dad said he got to England safely, he's excited to work on songs again, and that he loves and misses me, plus he sent a pic of him and the rest of the band." said Celestina.  "Oh yeah, Dad says hi, and so does Russ, Noodle, and Murdoc."

"Aw that's awesome!" replied Mom, "See, I figured he would make it there okay.  How do the other three look?"

"Murdoc is as green as ever," Celestina replied with a laugh, "Russel pretty much looks the same, but Noodle looks so different!  She's a grown up lady!"

"Yup, I believe it," said mom with a chuckle.  "Oh man, I haven't seen her since you were a baby, she was still a teenager then.  Grown up so fast, both of you." she said with a sigh.  "It's good they seem to be doing well." She paused, thinking, "I got an idea.  We're almost there, why don't we take a few back-to-school pictures of you when we get there, and you can text them back to your dad?"

"Ooh I'd love that!" said a delighted Celestina.  She was quiet for a bit before continuing.  "Hey, I know I was sad before with Dad leaving, but, well, it's also really cool that the whole band is back together and they'll make more songs again."

"I know, I can't wait to hear them," agreed Mom, "but like I said earlier, it's okay to feel sad about missing him.  Just don't forget that there are also a lot of good things to look forward to."

"I understand," answered Celestina.  Mom had just pulled up to the school.  There it was, Orbitz Public School.  Mom was lining up to park at the entrance where the middle school classes were.  While Celestina had seen the school many times when going on errands with her mom's around town, today the building somehow seemed larger and more intimidating.  Her breath slowed down and her hands grew sweaty the closer they got to the entrance.  Mom had found a parking spot and Celestina nervously left the car, carrying her backpack.  

"This place is way bigger than South Lincoln," remarked Celestina, referring to her elementary school.  Sharon gave Celestina's hand a comforting squeeze.

"I know it's scary," said Mom. "But you got this."  Even though Celestina was still nervous, she somehow felt a bit better with her Mom hyping her up.  

"I got this!" repeated Celestina.

"You're the star of your own stage," encouraged Sharon, "You knock 'em dead!"

"I'll knock 'em dead!" repeated Celestina, feeling pumped.  "Oh yeah, let's get that picture taken to send to Dad" she remembered.  Celestina and Sharon walked around to find a spot with good lighting in the courtyard. 

"Ooh, we can take one here," said Celestina, handing the phone to her mom.  She struck an adorable Sailor Moon style peace sign pose in her new uniform with the school in view in the back.  After the picture got taken, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder.

"Huh," said Celestina, before turning around to see her best friend, "Oh hey there Kailey!"

"Hi Lessie!" greeted Kailey, using the nickname she used for Celestina since they were little.  Kailey was wearing the same purple and white school uniform that Celestina was wearing.  She kept her short brown hair in her natural curls, and her red square glasses framed her blue eyes.  The giggly girls greeted each other with a hug, before realizing that both their moms were standing by with their phones.  

"Smile you two," said Mrs. Green.  Both girls smiled for the camera with their arms around each other.  

"Perfect!" exclaimed Sharon before handing Celestina her phone back.  Celestina then quickly sent both the pics to her dad with a special message.

"So glad you made it home safely Dad.  Mom and Mia say hi back.  Today is me and Kailey's first day of school.  Can't wait to see you again, and maybe meet the rest of the band (even Murdoc lol).  Have fun recording.  Love you lots!  We got this!"

Shortly after she sent it, her dad replied with another quick "I love you", and Kailey got Celestina's attention.

"C'mon Lessie," said Kailey, "We still need to get our schedules."

"Oh my, that's right!" exclaimed Celestina.  "We gotta get going!"  

The girls gave their Moms a quick hug and said goodbye, and headed into the school.  Celestina still felt a bit nervous, but she felt a lot better than this morning.  She headed inside the front doors of the school with Kailey, walking through the purple and white crowd of students, feeling determined to take on the day no matter what happens.  

"Celestina, you're on!" 

[sagestupidity]

Upcoming long-ass post ahead. Warning you now. It goes deep and it is long. There is a lot of personal information, but I wanted to get it out there for pride month. There is a tl;dr at the end. If tumblr mobile allowed for a page break like the old days, I'd use it now

Tw: homophobia, religious bigotry, sexuality, biphobia

I remember the first time I heard about homosexuality. I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, at daycare, in a tree house with 2 other kids my age. They had just learned a new word and were throwing it around every other sentence that day. Lesbian. "What, are you a lesbian?", "so and so is a lesbian hahaha" "only a lesbian would say something like that". I had no idea what this word meant, I was a sheltered 8 or 9 year old. These daycare friends explained what it meant. "It's when girls like other girls, like boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're both girls". For a half second, my world was rocked. I had no idea that was something someone could do. That was a option? 🎆. Before I could even think about it further, the next sentence came out of their mouth "that's so gross, right?". Well shit, they were explaining it to me, they must have been the expert. "Yeah, that's so gross". I couldn't possibly be a lesbian, I'm not gross, I'm Megan, I like bubble baths and art and fairytale stories of princes and princesses. I'm not gross, and therefore definitely not a lesbian.

When I got a bit older about ages 10-12, my parent's signed me up for a week of vacation Bible school out in Pine Idaho every summer. For most of those summers, I went with my mom's boss's granddaughter who was about my age. Her name was Alex. She was super cool and a nice friend. Very much a typical tom boy. Had a bionicle collection, wore a lot of sporty clothes, even got some of her clothes from the boy section. I was sooo jealous of how cool Alex was. But whenever I was shopping with my mom, and tried to pick out less feminine items, I'd get lectured "that's for boys Megan, you can't have that, it's weird that you like this, Megan". no matter how much I liked it, how much I thought about how Alex was allowed to branch out like that. Why couldn't I?

From then to grade 7, I was in my femme bubble. I wore a ton of pink, because I looked up to Elle Woods from legally blonde. I'd have an occasional crush on the class emo. Loving long hair and eyeliner on guys, but otherwise despising everyone else in middle school because i was getting bullied mercilessly. I reclused into books and movies, like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean

I was transfered to Idaho arts charter school. Where the girl to boy ratio was about 7 to 1. We had no sport program besides competitive dance. My family started going to a WELS lutheran church, and for a while, none of this conflicted. Little did I notice, that my church and my upbringing were compiling into some bad homophobia on my part. I was taught that gay people were against God and were going to hell. Gay people were "gross" after all. I was told by my own parents that if I *became* a lesbian, they'd drag me to the pastor's house and have an exorcism performed on me. The idea of even kissing a girl with romantic intent made my stomach flip and my chest hurt. That's just proof of how disgusting and wrong it is... right?

But being in a school dedicated to the performing arts eventually caught up with that. Sure there were gay kids at my school. Our main export was musical theater and dance. But I wasn't friends with any of them, so it was fine. Until someone from my friend group came out. For his privacy, I'll call him A, since I still know people that know him IRL. I had been friends with A for a while before he came out as gay. I wouldn't say we were close, but I'd say we were friends. When he did come out as gay, it was like a dumb homophobic light went out. A wasn't any different just because he was gay, he was still my friend, and nothing changed except my worldview.

Nothing.else.changed.

Whenever I brought A up when telling a story to my parents, they'd interrupt with "you mean the friend that's going to hell" as if that was his name and they were correcting me now that he was an out gay teen. I dug my heels in and became a gay ally for my friend, A. Delving into gay rights as a special interest.

By the time I was 16, I was approaching the next metaphorical hurdle. I noticed I didn't really have any crushes... on anyone. I had friends. I liked fictional characters from books and anime and the occasional celeb. I just thought I had high standards for boys I would date. But I couldn't like girls. What would that even look like? It was pre 2010. The only girls into girls I ever saw were on posters in boy's rooms, or straight girls kissing to get male attention. It took a lot of work to realize God didn't hate gay people and even more work to realize that that could apply to me too. I came out as bi to only my friends at age 17.

I graduated, went off to college. Got a dorm mate, who we will call M. M was also bi, and she had the experience to back it up, supposedly. More experience than me, who hadn't really dated anyone at all. M somehow forced me back in the closet. She insisted I wasn't bi because I had never dated or kissed or anything with a woman. I had just barely had my first kiss with anyone that summer. I was only "bicurious" because how could I possibly know until I finally had experience like she did. So I shrunk myself, and only saw boys, because they gave me attention. Girls only saw me as straight, because I wasn't bi, I was "bicurious".

It took a lot of work to bust out of the bi closet a second time.

I lived my life as a bi woman. Constantly changing my spot on the kinsey scale until these past 7 years or so. I made a realization.

I don't really like guys. I'd sleep with them. I appreciated the validation I felt when I did. But I didn't really like them.

So I juggled with the queer label. Because my sexuality was complicated. Sure, I'd sleep guys, didn't mean I was attracted to them, it's not like it meant anything.

Any time I tried on the lesbian label, I'd get yelled at by a lesbian for being biphobic. They'd say stuff like "lesbians don't like guys", "stop bring men into lesbianism" "lesbians don't want to sleep with guys". No amount of me explaining that I don't like men would convince them. So back to the queer label I went.

I got married to a woman in 2019. And was content with the queer label.

But this year, 2021-

I started reading The Lesbian Document™. Learning that my occasional crush on a male celeb didn't really count as attraction to men.(sorry Bo Burnham).

I made a bit of a realization. I knew I didn't really like men, I was just ok with the idea of sleeping with them. But the idea of being with men felt similar to binge drinking.

They were both

Easily accessible

Toxic

Dangerous/thrilling

Coping mechanisms for deeper issues

I realized I was using the idea of sex with men as self harm, and I should probably stop that.

To wrap up this whole long-ass biography- I'm coming out a third time.

My name is Megan.

I'm 28 years old.

My pronouns are she/they.

And I'm a lesbian.

tl;dr:

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

 Ok guys its finally finished!!

Introducing the last two main families in my anxciet au!

Please meet the princes

The Prince family

( from left to right)

Rebecca Prince

The boys’s Mother, goes by the names Mother, Ma, and Bec-bec

Her and Diana have been married for 7 years at this point, and been together for about 10(they met and started dating on and off since high school until they got back together permanently during college)

Punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom-

She raised roman on her own for his first year before remus was born, in which she started dating Diana again more seriously

She majored in nursing and later in  sociology in college before dropping out to take care of her boys and raise them right

Shes currently going back to school for the sociology degree inbetween her current job

She works as nurse and receptionist at a doctors office in town

Shes in her mid forties current time( where roman is 22, remus is 21, and kingley is 14)

Shes a pretty tough love kinda parent, and doesnt mind rough housing with her boys when they get too out of line and rowdy( they all enjoy the playfullness of it)

But compared to Diana she is not the scary when angry parent, and she can actually be pretty lenient with the boys depending on the situation

She also tends to be the one who gives into their requests and in kingley’s case, puppy eyes, though she puts on a tough front when she does

Rebecca is such a softie for her family I just i cant she loves them so much

She makes dad jokes just to annoy and embarrass her sons, but only makes either classic dad jokes or purposely really bad ones

100% supportive of her older boys’s relationships, and loves to tease Roman about Patton all the time

She also enjoys building things, and helped build the play structure and treehouse that are in the backyard.

Shes probably the reason Remus has no filter, as she has little filter herself

Her hair is naturally honey brown but she dyed it recently to make a statement to a shitty coworker so currently her hair is purple blue and pink

Shes usually pretty reserved around anyone thats not her family, so its a bit of a shock when people see her playful and rowdy compared to her reserved, professional front

Remus prince

The middle child at 21 but hey he can (legally) drink!

Wild feral trash man no matter what, but now hes got a switchblade and two brothers hed fucking kill for( though he wont admit it about roman)

Hes dating Logan and shows a slightly softer side to him only, and hes ride or die with his boyfriend

He tried college but it didnt suit him, so he ended up dropping out and instead getting two part time jobs: one as a vet assistant and one as a bartender, both located near his current apartment

Hes been best friends with Ethen for as long as he can remember, they grew up together and he considers Ethen a brother practically, and remus would probably be in a bad place without him and Remus recognizes this

He has a love for theater and acting that he shares with his older brother Roman and was in pretty much every school performance growing up, and even majored in theater for a bit when he was in college

He also writes alot of original short horror stories 

Hes an adrenaline junkie and loves doing reckless things for the fun of it( usually dragging Ethen or Logan along with him)

He doesnt have a youtube channel of his own but he pops up frequently enough on Ethen’s channel when joining him for explorations that Ethen’s subscribers know him well, and love seeing him in videos

Hes only got two filter and their names are Logan and Ethen 

He wants to get a snakes as pets just as much as Ethen but Their apartment has strict rules 

That did not however stop him from bringing home a in rehabilitation small fresh water turtle home from work one day, and its the only exception to the no pets rule because Remus fought tooth and nail over the fact it was part of his JOB DAMMIT HES KEPPING THE TURTLE IT NEEDS CONSTANT CARE--

ahem. anyway the turtles name is Sir snappy and he adores her

He LOVES teasing both his brothers, even if it means getting teased back he can usually take what he dishes out

usually.

He also has a drivers license but does not currently have a car as he is trying to save up to buy a motorcycle 

Kingley “King” Prince

The youngest of the family!! The also the shortest!!

He goes by the nickname “ King” and has for a couple years now

Hes fourteen and hes very upbeat and cheerful!

Hes also one of Andy’s best friends( He isnt crushing on andy dont listen to remus) and theyve been friends since second grade

Did I mention that they have sleepovers as often as they can? Because they try to. Usually King, andy, and Liam are nearly glued to the hips unless they cant be

Hes got a wild imagination and lots of ideas that he loves to share and try to put out as songs, stories, drawings, etc

He has severe ADHD and takes medication to help him narrow his focus more, as well as to keep his energy levels more consistent so he wouldnt be hugely energetic in the morning and dull and falling asleep by noon. But the medication doesnt effect his creativity sometimes it even helps boost it because he can focus better on his ideas instead of getting too many ideas at once to focus on and work on

His hair has blonde highlights in the winter and looks nearly fully blonde in the summer

Hes got his mama’s caramel brown eyes and tanner skin, as apposed to his ma’s more peachy skin and green eyes

This boy loves to wrestle and roughhouse, hes got alot of energy that needs to be ran out by bedtime and what better way then wrestling his older brothers for the tv remote when they visit? Or playing games at the park or in the backyard until the sun goes down 

He also loves to sing and draw, he can usually be caught humming and you can find doodles all over his homework and school assignments

He also got braces when he was 12 and he loves them and always gets new colors for them as often as he can convinces his parents to agree to

Roman Prince

The eldest brother at 22!

He works at the local theater as a theater tech and assistant director and also performs in a good chunk of the plays put on as well

He loves his job, especially when they put on musicals

He has a college degree in directing and one in music composing

Hes known his boyfriend patton since they were kids since their families are really close, 

He also writes his own short plays and stories that are sometimes performed at his work!!

Oh and this boy our boy roman can cook, hes learned all his cooking from his parents and absolutely loves cooking and learning new recipes and experimenting with old recipes! He also brings extra food into work to share with his coworkers and the actors in case someone doesnt have food with them or the money to buy something( as some of the workers there are broke college students or high schools trying to get experience) He and Patton share this hobby and sometimes have playful cooking competitions in their kitchen!!

Hes got a huge dvd collection that fills tree shelves of a bookshelf in their apartment 

He also holds some acting lessons to younger workers at the theater in the case someone is struggling with a role or performace

Roman is also a very smooth motherfucker in the romace department when he wants to be. Hes romantic and pays alot of to little details and goes all out for date nights, whether theyre at home dates or going out dates he tries to make it as perfect to you as possible

Also he speaks spanish and likes to sing to Patton in spanish to swoon him on a bad day

Diana Prince

The boys’s other mother! Goes by Mama, Mum, and baba

Shes in her late thirties early fourties

did I mention theyve been married for years? I did? Good good

Diana is a blunt sweetheart with a bubbly, snappy personallity and a fiery temper

Shes really good with kids and has a degree in child psychology and works as a guidance counselor at the local high school

She also helps out at their neighborhood’s church with events and sometimes helps with services as an organ player

She plays piano and has been since she was young, she can also play the guitar

She absolutely adores her family but watch out if they break a rule or get themselves into trouble she is the stern one and does not let them get out of trouble. Puppy eyes are wasted on her you do the crime you do the time and the extra chores no arguing.

That is not to say that she wont listen and hear her boys out though, its just normally after hearing them out theyre still in the wrong( pray for remus is he ever got arrested for anything cough cough the homecoming incident cough cough)

Shes been friends with Emile since high school and sees his boys almost like her own, and cares for them as such. 

She speaks spanish and told Roman and the others from a young age, but Roman is the only one who kept with it strongly, Remus only uses it when he angry and King is still learning

Shes an amazing cook, on par or even better than Emile( a statement that has been yet to be confirmed)

She is also a confirmed lover of making big meals 

She loves being outdoors and playing with her kids

She also enjoys doing embroidery as a relaxing hobby

And lastly introducing...

The Daniel family!!

(from left to right)

Olivia Daniels

Logan and Liam’s mom! Shes a psychology professor at the local college! 

Shes been going by the name Olivia for about 16 almost 17 years now and shes never been happier!

Olivia is technically their step mother, as she joined the family after Logan and Liam were born, but very early in their lives( Logan was 10 and Liam was three)

shes in her mid thirties

Her and richard have been married for 12 years and are still going strong!!

olivia is more of a gentle soul kinda person, shes peppy and softer spoken and has a very soothing and trusting presence to her. Shes easy to make laugh and loves making people smile

She also enjoys bringing treats to her classes for her overworking students

Shes not much of a cook but she does try dammit

Looks super sweet but shes a force to be reckoned with if you fuck with her children let me tell you

She wouldve made an excellent therapist had she gone into that field, shes good at listening and offering solutions

She also paints in her spare time!! And sells her paintings at local art shows!!

Shes got the worst sweet tooth ever Richard has to hide sweets in the house

She also works at the same college Logan attends, same with his father

Shes the only blonde in the family with green eyes

 Logan Daniels

Out sassy skeptic! He’s 20 years old and currently attending college with a biology major and a astrology minor!

Hes pretty reserved at first glance, being the calm and common sense to both his best friend Virgil and his boyfriend Remus

But hes such a dork when you get to know him. He could go on for hours and hours about his interests(something Remus loves listening to)

He lives in a single person dorm on campus and works in the student union as well as does tutoring sessions for high schools for extra credits

Hes been dating Remus for a good four almost five years , and they met in freshman year of high school

His dorm room is covered in various posters for astrology and bands he enjoys, as well as a few old theater posters from Remus’s old performances

He was  goddamn punk during high school, and Virgil loves to bring this up to embarrass him

He likes to always wear business casual unless hes staying in, and even then sometimes he keeps to his fashion habits a little too hard

Hes a decent cook, but he doesnt refuse the offer of someone else cooking for him either( or even going out to eat now and then) 

Hes a very large and firm skeptic and greatly enjoys debating with virgil different aspects of his beliefs and paranormal experiences, and functions as the one between them to reason away happenings with logic as a way to ease Virgils nerves. 

But he IS willing to see his best friends side of things if he is provided solid proof. 

He also makes plenty of appearances on Virgil’s channel for a variety of reasons, and his fanbase really likes him

Hes also a very protective older brother, and is not afraid to verbal destroy anyone who hurts his little brother(much to Liams angsty horror) 

He does have a car that he put Remus on his insurance for, so if his boyfriend ever DID need to drive it he would without complications

Logan also does join the boys on explorations, though this is a more rare occurance as he’d rather help them edit the videos and put them out in a timely manner

Hes pretty good at managing his student budget, but he has those moments of splurging randomly for things( as we all do sometimes)

Hes got a really REALLY nice laugh that not too many people outside his inner circle have heard

His eyes are a dark blue just like his dads, and he keeps his dark brown hair messy but practical

Liam Daniels

Logan’s baby brother! Our boy is 13 years old!!

Hes andy’s other best friend, and the final link to their little trio

Hes the more stoic of the three, as he is entering his rebellious angsty teen years a couple years early. 

He loves space and the ocean, and wants to be a marine biologist someday.

Hes not the best at being social, thats why hes got King as their talker and hes the snarky fighter

This boi is alot fiestier than he looks but only his friends and family know that, and he will throw down if you even just look at his loved ones the wrong way( despite his height)

He doesnt always get social cues either which makes him come off kinda rude in situations but I promise he doesnt mean it 

Someone got his mothers sweet tooth but cant have too much sugar because it messes with his body too much

like when he crashes from a sugar high he crashes hard and its BAD

Hes the shortest of his friends, just barely half an inch shorter than Andy

He always looks half tired and like he needs coffee but he cant have coffee so...

he loves to read and his room is filled with so many books!!

He also has a stuffed animal collection but shush about that its a secret

Hes also a spicy food lover( at least to a point, nothing too extreme) 

He likes baggier clothes because theyre more comfortable, and he prefers comfort of fashion

His eyes are a brighter blue and he keeps his hair alot neater than his brother’s

Hes also very snappy, with a comeback for almost everything

Richard Daniels

The dad!! He works as a chemistry professor at the college and a part time physics teacher at the local high school( switching days)

Hes very tall at 6′2(compared to the rest of his family)

He looks really strict but hes surprisingly laid back about alot of things( though rules and discipline are NOT one of those things) 

He is in his early fourties

He took care of the boys on his own for logans first ten years and Liams three before he met Olivia

Hes got the scolding parent look and The Tone mastered and sometimes even uses both on his students to get them to behave, with wildly successful results

Hes very logical and skeptical of things “unrealistic”

Was a stressed out stick in the mud before he met his wife, as he was a new single father trying to secure tennure in a teacher job

Hes the cook in the house, and is really good at it.

hes a more silent understood supporter of his children, as he is much more reserved than his wife

But he as the biggest soft spot for her 

He always tries to raise his boys with a strong balanced set of values and manners

He also can play lacrosse, and was considered the best player back in school

He doesnt have a good relationship with his family aside from his mother, so the boys have only met their grandma on that side, as he doesnt want any toxic mindsets or ideals influencing his children( especially Liam)

compared to Olivia  he isnt soft spoken at all but he would rather dissolve issues with communication and clarification, not anger or violence( yeah LIAM)

He also enjoys watching documentaries and doing casual photography from time to time

And its finally done!! All for families are complete and posted!!

Im really proud of these!! Especially the prince family photo! It took me days to figure out the poses...

All art referenced is credited to @aimasup @underdog-arts and @fangirltothefullest !!

Anyway i hope you guys enjoy! And hopefully soon ill be posting some writings for this au too! And posting more drawings! Enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@strawberryjellystuff

@aimasup

@unsocialchapeau

@underdog-arts

@fangirltothefullest

[enthusiasticmusicalquotes]

QUESTION OF THE DAY #6: Send me your most unpopular theatre opinion. Something that might make someone want to fight you. Please don’t be offensive (racist, misogynistic, etc.), but other than that…go as hard as you want. Spill all the tea.

MY ANSWERS: 1) The Pretty Woman score fucking slaps idek, 2) Come From Away (or even Bandstand...) should’ve won the 2017 Best Musical Tony, 3) I prefer the West End Heathers cast album to Off Broadway, 4) Shows shouldn’t sweep the Tonys just because they’re Best Musical worthy...shows that aren’t too critically acclaimed but have really impressive elements should get recognition too.

SUMMARY: Out of 37 responses: 5 were about Dear Evan Hansen, 3 were about Hamilton specifically, 2 were about: Rent, ALW, Wicked, In The Heights, Be More Chill, etc. etc....if your favorite musical is one of these and you get easily offended i wouldn’t read these.

NOTE: I agree with some of these, I highly disagree with others. I do not endorse any of the things that were said, I am simply sharing them with you all. These were what was sent to me. I’m going to number them so if you want to complain about or agree with one you can send me an ask with the number you’re referring to. 

1. howmuchchildrens said: unpopular opinion: i really liked the 2012 version of les mis. i liked russel crowe as javert.

2. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion: Bootlegs harm to local theatre communities, though I do not believe anyone intends for that to be the case. While it's possible to bootleg responsibly (and I might even say it's beneficial to do so), those who may not know the intricacies of theatrical copyright law or who haven't heard the horror stories from a theatre that's been hit with legal action DUE to a bootleg may record or watch a show irresponsibly, which can greatly harm other routes of theatre accessibility.

3. Anonymous said: Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals are mostly terrible. He only got and stayed popular because a lot of other musical creators and taste makers died in the AIDS epidemic

4. Anonymous said: Almost all musicals using the songs of one artist are cash grabs with no plot or point.

5. Anonymous said: If your musical only has 1 woman OR the women only get sad/romantic songs you need to do something else with your life.

6. nerdshrimp said: Unpopular opinion: Next To Normal does a better job of portraying the effects of mental illness than Dear Evan Hansen does. N2N also doesn't romanticise mental illness & excuse shitty behavior like DEH tries to

7. Anonymous said: Hadestown is a lesser show on Broadway. I fell in love with the live album, and I was so excited for it to come to Broadway. I was so disappointed to see the changes they made. Orpheus and Eurydice's relationship is less interesting and more generic. The changed lyrics are often sloppy and not as good as the original. They fucking wrecked Epic III. Also, no hate to R/ee/ve, but he's just not a good enough singer to convince me that he could soften the heart of Hades. His high notes are awful.

8. Anonymous said: opinion: we are the tigers deserves a broadway run or at least a proshot

9. bimystique said: e/c is NOT A GOOD FUCKING SHIP. the ENTIRE PLOT OF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is christine trying to escape erik's abuse. WHAT FUCKING PART OF THAT IS ROMANTIC TO YOU PEOPLE.

10. Anonymous said: unpopular theatre opinion(s): Dear Evan Hansen is Very Bad for its handling of mental illness, Hamilton is overrated and praised too much, and high school/college musical theatre programs can be just as good as Broadway. (also, musical movies would be better if they hired broadway actors, but that's not an unpopular opinion)

11. Anonymous said: I don’t like Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton is overrated

12. Anonymous said: I don’t like dear Evan Hansen..... at all. I think it’s kind of boring and really overhyped.

13. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion: in the heights is far better than Hamilton. both are good but ith hits different yknow

14. Anonymous said: The bring it on and legally blonde musicals are BAD! The movies are 100 times better

15. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion? wicked is the epitome of white feminism. it's preached as super great for representation but we literally got the first black glinda in 2019?!?!?!? and before that woc could only play elphaba who's villainized and deemed evil by the whole city

16. Anonymous said: Not so much an opinion as a reaction, but of all Lin's works (ITH, Bring it On, 21 Chump Street, Hamilton), 21 Chump Street gets the biggest emotional reaction of all the cast recordings. The second Justin is like "I don't want your money" (And then later on with the "...what the heck did you.... dooooo", I am a complete goner. Worse than Abuela Claudia and Philip Hamilton's deaths combined

17. Anonymous said: Whenever Je.ssie Mu.eller hits certain notes, she sounds like Tommy Pickles from Rugrats.

18. Anonymous said: aotd6: not everyone knows what im talking about, but the cats 2016 broadway revival choreography was WAYYYY better than the original. the original had a lot of creepy uncomfortable moments and the new one looks way cleaner and up to date

19. Anonymous said: raoul is better than the phantom in every conceivable way

20. Anonymous said: I hate Anastasia so much. it's such a boring show and the music is uninteresting. I wanted to like it so bad but GOD is it boring.

21. Anonymous said: In the Heights.... Overrated.

22. Anonymous said: I do not know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but here is my opinion: Musicals that are entirely or nearly entirely songs (Hamilton, Hadestown, In The Heights, etc) are the most valid bc I can understand the plot without using wikipedia (I'm looking at you, Jagged Little Pill, I love you but what is your plot????)

23. Anonymous said: I'd rather have a bad film adaptation than no film adaptation

24. Anonymous said: Rent sucks and while it was a stepping stone for more ""controversial"" topics to appear on Broadway it's actually biphobic and features several generally terrible people doing generally terrible things and doesn't actually address the real crisis at all; it's all performative wokeness. The only real good it did was cast a bunch of "nobodies" for the time and make theater somewhat more accessible.

25. stardust-and-seas said: Dear Evan Hansen doesn't properly address mental health despite being about mental health and resolves nobodies character arcs satisfactorily. It's another show that reaches its hands around the throats of marginalized teenagers saying "look I'm relatable!!" The songs taken out of context are significantly more powerful than when placed in the context of the show, which gives us exactly zero evidence of Evan's work to improve and also never resolves Evan's u healthy goals in the first place.

26. stardust-and-seas said: Be More Chill is a raging dumpster fire and the only decent song from it, Michael in the Bathroom, reads as a whiny rich white boy whose potential social anxiety and depression is left ambiguous, which is exactly what it is. When taken out of context it better exemplifies the othering that happens to marginalized groups but lets be real here: bullying/cliques don't happen to "just anyone"; it's the marginalized groups that are othered and abandoned for not being "normal"

27. stardust-and-seas said: There's a difference between shows that don't take themselves seriously because they're meant to be fun and light and shows that pretend not to take themselves too seriously but want to be taken seriously by the audience and the latter always ends up mediocre at best

28. redueka said: i think that dear evan hansen handles every issue it presents badly. i also think that beetlejuice was badly directed

29. Anonymous said: Well I don’t EVER condone cheating, I’m team Jamie in the last five years. He tried so hard to make their relationship and life good, and Cathy gave him nothing in return

30. youcanlolyoucansayohwell said: The answer of the day- I don't get the BMC hype. I'm out of the age bracket it's meant for that might it be. I enjoy it but I don't think it's the greatest thing in the world like some theatre fans do.

31. Anonymous said: i like the rent 2005 recording better than the obcr

32. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion ? : the music of wicked just like isn’t that good. like it’s good but it’s not like, Good, yknow. it’s pretty standard it doesn’t stand out to me. kinda boring

33. Anonymous said: mari.ah r.ose fa.ith is not a good regina george. everything she says sounds monotonous and while i understand she's trying to play off the ""whatever"" teenager (she does this a lot with her teenage characters), 90% of the time she sounds and looks like she doesn't want to be there; her voice is great but most songs feel unnatural and forced and she changes them too much. she's just not selling regina to me as a believable character (this is all from a technical point of view)

34. Anonymous said: Unpopular Opinion: as much as i like musicals based on movies (like waitress), i think not every movie needs to be a musical.

35. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion (?) the emojiland musical Kinda Slaps

36. Anonymous said: as one of my high school tech theatre teachers once said: "Andrew Lloyd Webber is overrated"

37. Anonymous said: sorry to whoever likes it but Seussical is an absolutely nonsense crackpot plot disguised with okay-to-good music, like I don't even know where to start. I was in the show and didn't even know there was an entire secondary plot line featuring sending children to war until we were halfway through rehearsals

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: Nope. I didn’t say any curse words as a kid for one, but also I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t have done that if I did. They would have just talked to me about it and tell me not to say them. I personally don’t like the soap punishment, I think it’s dumb. I’ve heard of some parents who use hot sauce instead, which is just horrible. I understand if you don’t want your kid to curse, but you don’t have to torture them. Just talk with them and explain why it’s not nice to say and that kids shouldn’t speak that way or whatever. Don’t make too big a deal about it. Try not to curse around them either, that’s where they likely hear it and you can be an example for them. If talking doesn’t work then take something away like a toy or some computer time or whatever. I think it’s also important to reward kids when they’re behaving, even just acknowledging it. That can go a long way.

2. what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: Well, I personally don’t think kids should watch that at all. I’d say wait until they’re in high school. 

3. do you know what the word “polyamorous” means? and did you ever hear that song by breaking benjamin?: Yes I know what it means, no I haven’t heard that particular song by them.

4. how many bug bites do you currently have?:  Zero.

5. what’s one word you always have trouble spelling and can’t remember the correct spelling of?: Whenever a question like this comes up, “onomatopoeia” always comes to mind. That’s a word I never use except for these questions haha, but yeah I can never seem to remember the spelling, I have to Google it each time.

6. what’s one band that really sucks live?: I’ve never seen a bad live performance, but I’ve heard things about some bands that I haven’t seen, such as Maroon 5. I’ve heard they’re pretty bad. :X

7. do you go to warped tour? why or why not?:  I’ve never been.

8. do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: Yes, a couple. 

9. do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?:  I’ve never heard of that lol but awww how corny and sweet.

10. which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: Firefox out of the two, but I use Chrome.

11. who is the most attractive person on your street?: I haven’t seen all my neighbors, but I don’t find the few I have seen attractive. 

12. do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?:  I have a flat stomach, but noooo you’ll never see me in a crop top. I’m waaaaay too self-conscious for that.

13. which do you prefer on yourself, long or short hair?: Long, which is what I have, but it takes more energy and maintenance than I can give right now and I should just cut it short again. :/ I just can’t bring myself to do it for some reason, though.

14. what about on your preferred sex? long or short?:  Short.

15. with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?:  I don’t care for eyebrow piercings, personally.

16. have you ever pierced something yourself? why and what was it?: Nooooo. I would never. I’m terrified of needles and don’t do well at all when getting blood work done, and that’s by professionals. I could never attempt to pierce myself with no experience at all. I’d also be scared of doing something wrong or causing an infection.

17. would you date someone who was five years older than you?:  Maybe. I think that’s the oldest I would go.

18. i heard of a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with a 13yearold (he’s 18) and got her pregnant, so she left him. what would you have done if you were in her situation?:  Omg. I’d have left him, too, but I also would have reported him.

19. how old was the youngest person you ever found attractive? and how old were you?:  Just a year younger than me.

20. isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to start conversation with someone and all they say is “yup” or “really now” or something like that?: Ugh, yes. If they’re clearly not into it or they’e distracted then forget it, what’s the point? I can’t keep a conversation going if the other person isn’t putting anything into it nor would I want to even try.

21. if you have aim, do you have any linked screen names? how many?: AIM died.

22. which of your favorite bands released a new album last?: Hmm. I’m blanking at the moment.

23. are you waiting for any bands to release new albums? which ones?:  Not in particular, but I’m always down for new music.

24. what’s your favorite store for buying cds and such at?:  I haven’t bought a CD since like 2011. I usually just went to like Walmart or Target. I also bought a few CDs from a place that sold old records/albums/cassettes, though. That’s also the place I sold all my CDs to.

25. what’s the point in buying dvds like “girls gone wild” and other porn if you can get tons more online for free?: I don’t know, ask someone who watches porn. 26. if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: Marijuana is legal here, but that’s the only drug I would do.

27. would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?:  No. I only want one little one.

28. do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: I have a laptop, so it has a built-in trackpad and keyboard. 

29. do you think your biological parents love each other?: Yes.

30. do you have callouses on your feet?:  No.

31. did you see the commercial for that “foot grater” on tv that basically shaves the callouses off of your feet? isn’t that nasty to think about?: Gahhh, yes. 🤢 It was so gross.

31. what’s your favorite color combination (ex. pink and purple)?: I love pastel colors together.

32. ever been to watchmovies.net? what do you think of the quality of the movies there?:  Yeah, back in the day. I totally forgot about that. The quality wasn’t too, too bad on the ones I saw.

33. what’s one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet?: There’s a few movies that were supposed to come out this year that I wanted to see, but that’s obviously not going to happen. 34. would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: I don’t want to live alone at all, but if I had to choose I’d definitely choose the small studio apartment. I wouldn’t want to live in some huge house by myself. That would make me a lot more anxious and uncomfortable. I don’t even want a big house like that for my family and I, it’s just so unnecessary. We’d only need a house big enough for 4 adults and a doggo to live in. 

35. if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?:  Omg, that would mean I was hacked somehow. I’d be disgusted and horrified and try to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Are you supposed to report that kind of thing? I would think so, so that it could be taken down and hopefully catch whoever distributed it.

36. what’s the last computer game you played?: The Sims 4. It’s been a couple years, though. I get urges to play, but I’m too lazy.

37. what’s the name of the street you live on?: I’m definitely not sharing that.

38. would you ever dye your entire head blonde?:  No.

39. what’s the randomest thing you ever heard of someone collecting?:  *shrug* I have a rock collection, so who am I to judge. lol.

40. how often do you use “<3” or “:]”?: I don’t use :], I use :) Anyway, I don’t use emojis or smiley faces super often, but sometimes when I feel they’re fitting. I know some people who get a little carried with them.

41. isn’t it annoying how people walk around thinking hollister logo tshirts and ripped jeans are preppy, even though those things would never be allowed in a prepatory school because of the dress code?: >> *stares blankly in “I don’t care”* <<< Hahaha, for real. 

42. how do you feel about abortion?:

43. what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?:  She doesn’t do anything that I can’t stand. My grandmothers were/are (my maternal grandmother sadly passed away 15 years ago) sweet, loving, and adorable. haha.

44. did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?:  Loss of my grandparents was heartbreaking for me, I had a really hard time with their loss. Them being older didn’t make it any easier. I think why people find it even more devastating when a child dies is because they were so young and hadn’t even had a chance, yet, like their life had just begun. There was so much still to experience. They should have had a lot more time. Even a young adult because it’s like their life is also kind of just beginning in a way, perhaps they just started or finished college, were about to start a new job, or were about to get married and start a family. They, too, have so much still to experience and should have had more time. But still, losing someone who is older is still just as sad. I think some people just can sometimes find a little comfort in the fact that they had lived a long life and got to experience a lot. 

45. when’s the last time you snuck around, and where did you go?: I don’t have to sneak around. Never have.

46. how often do you wash your hair?: Every couple days.

47. do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: Well, these days movie theaters aren’t even open. However, I don’t think it’s the movie ticket price that’s too high, it’s getting stuff at the concession stand that racks it up. The food and drinks are ridiculously overpriced. I just have to get some popcorn, though. I miss movie theater popcorn with salt and lots of butter.  48. have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?:  Yeah, a few times as a kid. Actually, the last time I went was to see the Willy Wonka movie with Johnny Depp when it came out. I wish they still had drive in theaters where I live. I think they should make a big comeback, I mean that’s perfect for social distancing. We can stay in our own cars, closed off from others, but still enjoy movies on the big screen.

49. what’s your favorite musical?:  Sweeney Todd (the one with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter). 

50. what do you think of dr. seuss?: I was a fan as a kid, I loved his books. They’re classics. I actually have a Star-belly Sneetch stuffed animal, which is a character from his book, The Sneetches. 

[eldritchsurveys]

862.

1. have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: >> I did get soap in my mouth, but not for cursing; for “talking back” or being “fresh”, mostly. I was (understandably...) too afraid to do anything as brash as curse. I don’t think it’s an appropriate disciplinary measure at all, unless your mission is to confuse and frighten your child into obedience... which, apparently, is a lot of parents’ ultimate goal, it seems.

2. what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: >> I really don’t have a solid opinion about this. I tend to skew a little unorthodox on this front, which is probably best left unexplored (fortunately, this is all hypothetical and I’ll never have to address this situation in real life).

3. do you know what the word “polyamorous” means? and did you ever hear that song by breaking benjamin?: >> I know what it means, and I do remember the Breaking Benjamin song.

4. how many bug bites do you currently have?: >> Zero.

5. what’s one word you always have trouble spelling and can’t remember the correct spelling of?: >> I don’t think there’s any word like that. Spelling and phonics is one of my few strong suits.

6. what’s one band that really sucks live?: >> I don’t know, I haven’t seen any that I thought sucked performance-wise (I have seen a few whose music I just didn’t care for, like some opening acts, but that has nothing to do with the quality of their performance).

7. do you go to warped tour? why or why not?: >> I have never been to Warped Tour. I just never got an opportunity to go, or I was never interested, or whatever.

8. do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: >> No. Some neighbours have them, I think.

9. do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?: >> I’ve never even heard of that.

10. which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: >> Firefox.

11. who is the most attractive person on your street?: >> ---

12. do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?: >> I no longer have a flat stomach, and you wouldn’t catch me dead in a crop top.

13. which do you prefer on yourself, long or short hair?: >> I like how I look with long hair, but I prefer the low maintenance of short hair. So, I buzz my head, and I wear wigs when I feel like it. Best of both worlds.

14. what about on your preferred sex? long or short?: >> ---

15. with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?: >> I have no opinion.

16. have you ever pierced something yourself? why and what was it?: >> Yeah, I pierced my ears a few times. I did it because I wanted to? And also because I couldn’t afford to have them professionally done. I also did it when I was 16 because my father wouldn’t let me get a cartilage piercing, so I pierced my own ear at work one day. (My father eventually noticed because I put the most ridiculously obvious jewelry in it... hold on, I’m going to find a photo of what I’m talking about because like... what did I expect to happen)

looked something like that. I straight up deserved to get caught.

17. would you date someone who was five years older than you?: >> I don’t date, but that wouldn’t be a dealbreaker if I did.

18. i heard of a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with a 13yearold (he’s 18) and got her pregnant, so she left him. what would you have done if you were in her situation?: >> I... just can’t imagine being in this situation, sorry.

19. how old was the youngest person you ever found attractive? and how old were you?: >> Oh, I don’t know. Probably not much younger than myself; my tastes always skewed older (oftentimes much older).

20. isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to start conversation with someone and all they say is “yup” or “really now” or something like that?: >> Not necessarily, unless they’re usually much more exuberant and participatory than that. Then I’d wonder if something was wrong (and if it was my fault).

21. if you have aim, do you have any linked screen names? how many?: >> ---

22. which of your favorite bands released a new album last?: >> I’m not sure.

23. are you waiting for any bands to release new albums? which ones?: >> No.

24. what’s your favorite store for buying cds and such at?: >> Back in the day when that was my primary mode of listening to music, my favourite music stores were Virgin Megastore and Tower Records. Ah, nostalgia.

25. what’s the point in buying dvds like “girls gone wild” and other porn if you can get tons more online for free?: >> Well, people generally do watch more porn online nowadays, I think. But the benefit of having a DVD is that... you never have to worry about the video being taken down, and you always have it available (so, even if you don’t have internet connection, etc). It’s the same argument for having paper books or movies/shows on DVD, really.

26. if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: >> Well, marijuana is technically legal here (although I think new recreational dispensary openings in this city have been kinda interrupted by the whole pandemic business, so it’s still a bit hard to access for now). The only drugs I’m even interested in anymore (besides maybe a little low-THC weed, just to see) are psychedelics, and I don’t just want to take them casually, I want a tripsitter or a therapist present. So it’s more complicated than just “getting the drug”.

27. would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?: >> I would love that. I have had the idea to have a tree-rings tattoo down my left arm like the astronaut character in The Fountain for years.

28. do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: >> No, my keyboard and mouse are both wired, which is logical. Wouldn’t it suck if I was in the middle of a boss fight in FFXIV and the battery in my keyboard or mouse just fuckin died? Yikes.

29. do you think your biological parents love each other?: >> They did not love each other, from my perspective. I don’t even know if my father is capable of loving anyone, the way he fucking acts.

30. do you have callouses on your feet?: >> No.

31. did you see the commercial for that “foot grater” on tv that basically shaves the callouses off of your feet? isn’t that nasty to think about?: >> That is nasty to think about, and I don’t think it’s even necessary. Anything to make a buck, I guess.

31. what’s your favorite color combination (ex. pink and purple)?: >> I don’t know, I like a lot of colour combinations.

32. ever been to watchmovies.net? what do you think of the quality of the movies there?: >> Yeah. I don’t like sites like that because I can never get good subtitles and also they’re always buffering and shit. I can’t put up with that anymore, I paid my dues back in my literally-broke days.

33. what’s one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet?: >> Everything on my watchlists across the four streaming services I patronise. I just don’t always have movie-watching energy (or time), so it’s slow going to get through all my watchlists.

34. would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: >> Alone in a small studio apartment. Unless the huge mansion had a staff, because I really can’t fucking imagine keeping a mansion clean and maintained otherwise. But... huge mansions often come with a lot of acreage... and no neighbours... that’d be nice.

35. if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?: >> How the fuck would that even happen? Let’s not get silly here.

36. what’s the last computer game you played?: >> Final Fantasy XIV.

37. what’s the name of the street you live on?: >> Eh, let’s not.

38. would you ever dye your entire head blonde?: >> No.

39. what’s the randomest thing you ever heard of someone collecting?: >> I don’t know, most things people collect seem random to me.

40. how often do you use “<3” or “:]”?: >> Rarely.

41. isn’t it annoying how people walk around thinking hollister logo tshirts and ripped jeans are preppy, even though those things would never be allowed in a prepatory school because of the dress code?: >> *stares blankly in “I don’t care”*

42. how do you feel about abortion?: >> I am pro-choice.

43. what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?: >> ---

44. did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?: >> It does seem that way to people, but I don’t see it that way myself. Of course I’d rather die when I’m old than, like, right now, but hey. It be like that.

45. when’s the last time you snuck around, and where did you go?: >> I don’t have to sneak around.

46. how often do you wash your hair?: >> Once a week, provided I remember.

47. do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: >> Not here, it isn’t. In NYC, it was fucking astronomical.

48. have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?: >> No. I’d like to one day, that seems fun. But only if I have a convertible, lol.

49. what’s your favorite musical?: >> Phantom of the Opera.

50. what do you think of dr. seuss?: >> I’ve never read him (that I can remember) and I don’t care.

[ava-avery]

                                                  Ava S. Avery 

GENERAL INFORMATION ➤

Full Legal Name: Ava Sairose Avery Nickname(s): Aves, Av Age: 19 Gender & Pronouns: Female, she/her Sexuality: Heterosexual Date of Birth: March 21 Horoscope: Aries Hogwarts House: Gryffindor Nationality: British Occupation: Currently working at the Ministry of Magic, at the office for International Co-operation. Summarized in One Word: Spiraling

APPEARANCE ➤

Faceclaim: Lily James Height: 5.4 feet Hair Color: Dark blonde / light brown depending on the season Eye Color: Brown Noticeable Features: can you really pick some her eyes twinkling when she laughs, her long hair whenever it falls loose.  Typical Outfit or General Fashion Sense: Ava’s sense of fashion could probably be described as ‘relaxed rich’. She likes going for the classy, minimalist kind of clothes; jeans or slacks, plain jumpers and low-key jewellery. Clean lines, monochrome colours- usually in colours such as white, black, beige etc, but she also has no shortage of clothes in red. Although her daily style tends to be simple, on the grounds of not having the energy to put in the effort, Ava still likes to dress nice and incorporate some accessories. 

HISTORY ➤

Hometown: Her family manor is located in Oxfordshire, close enough to town that they’re not isolated, but far enough away to avoid the muggles. While she has a lot of fond memories there and Sage has done her best to make it into a home, the vastness of it gives it a feeling of emptiness and Ava always looked forward to finding somewhere of her own one day.  At the moment, Ava has a flat in Mayfair in London, and while she likes the neighbourhood, she is still restless and considering a move. It has been months but she still can’t shake the feeling that it isn’t really hers.  Financial Status: High upper class.  Spoken Languages: English & Spanish, some French.   Dream Job: The question of the ages, which she’s trying to figure out. Ava never had a burning passion towards a particular field, always thinking that she’d figure it out somewhere along the lines. Her main plan was always to become head of the family, but now that that plan is slipping away too, Ava is on square one with what she wants to do.  Bad Habits:  Where to start? Exessive drinking, carelessness, her general eating / sleeping habits, not the best at taking care of herself

FAMILY BACKGROUND ➤

Mother: Sage Avery Father: Axel Avery Sibling(s): Aiden, Archer Pet(s): A grey main coon cat named Circe, small for her breed but still large despite her dainty behaviour, and a black mutt named Archimedes. Grandparent(s): Both her paternal grandparents, Atticus and Helena Avery, are alive have moved to warmer straits due to health reasons. On her mother’s side, she has her grandmother Marion Selwyn left, currently retired and spending her last years somewhere around northern Wales last Ava checked. She has little relationship to any of them besides sometimes seeing them at holidays.  Cousin(s): She has a few distant ones running around, due to the crossing of the British purebloods, and is vaguely aware that she might have some over in America on her maternal side. 

MAGICAL ABILITIES ➤

Wand: Redwood, unicorn tail hair, 12 inches Patronus: A kestrel. Normally, her chosen happy memory is a fuzzy one from when she was young and their mother took them to the beach when visiting relatives near Scarborough. Even from a young age, the siblings had to be at best behaviour when out and about, but that once they were allowed to run wild. Even Sage wasn’t above getting in the water and splashing them that day, and for just an hour the rules of society and proper standing didn’t exist. Until her seventh year, Ava was able to cast a mostly corporal patronus, but after Archer, she hasn’t been able to cast it at all. She’ll likely never know the full shape of her patronus.  Boggart: Although she doesn’t know it yet, Ava’s boggart has changed. It used to be the broken self she sometimes knew, the girl fracturing into pieces, exposed for all to see. Now she knows that there are worse things to fear, and her boggart reflects her nightmares; losing Aiden. Being helpless, useless as he dies in front of her. After Archer, Ava would rather die herself than go through that again- but with the world getting more turbulent, the risk of loss is increasing each day and it terrifies her. She’s scared to death of another hit like that and being left alone in this world. OWLS: DADA, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Herbology and Astronomy.  NEWTS: While Ava was planning on taking more NEWTs, she ended up downsizing her exams last minute, narrowing them down to the basics; Transfiguration, Charms, DADA and Potions. What Kind of Magic do They Excel at: Ava has always been a natural at magic related to charms; little spells of various complexity that spare her a hassle and are fun to do. Cleaning charms are the only reason her apartment is somewhat livable and even though she is out of school, she still sometimes picks up new spells to try.

PSYCHOLOGY ➤

MB Type: ESFP-A / Entertainer Enneagram: Type 7  Moral Alignment: True neutral  Archetype: 

48% rebel

35% explorer

17% performer

Temperament: Sanguine (Phlegmatic)

[itsinvisiblelocket91]

13 years of Taylor. (This is long. I’m sorry)

So I’ve decided to tell my story on how I found Taylor and the Impact she’s had one me, and what she’s helped me through the past 13 years. I figure it’s appropriate to do this during the Lover era and 13 years of Taylor!!

I’ll start with when I was 16 (almost 17) and sitting in the dark on my couch with a blanket wrapped around me. I was just skimming through the channels and landed on the ACM Awards. There was a tiny, tall, kinky ,curly, blonde headed girl in a black jacket and denim jeans and a guitar, sitting on a stool. All the sudden she tears it off and goes into dramatics of why this boy should have said no. Soon to go into a rain shower of “no’s”. I absolutely got chills and could not take my eyes off her. She sang in the rain, just drenched, soak and wet but singing her heart out about the boy who did her wrong. She ended the song and I was stunned! She was so happy after her performance. There was a standing ovation and she was so giddy and couldn’t believe the reaction she was getting. So genuine and honest. I replayed and watched it a couple times but at some point I HAD to stop and go to bed. I remember walking up the stairs to my room and decided that I was never gonna forget this girl and I needed to look her stuff up and soon.

Later on I had discovered her debut album “Taylor Swift” but didn’t go into a whole spiral of obsession like I am currently. I had her music on my laptop. I remember me and my friends making horrible remakes of “our song”, “tryin to find a place in this world”, and “Tim McGraw “ if only those video still existed. I started finding posters in magazines of her to hang up on my wall.

One day, my mom came home with the new “fearless” album for me only days after my birthday. I didn’t ask for it, she just got it but I’m so glad she did. The rest of that year, we played that CD to school and back in my moms Jeep. My school was 45 mins away so you can imagine I learned this album QUICK. I was 100% a hopeless romantic in high school and had crazy amount of crushes happening but also learning that they don’t have to like you or they can break up with you through a piece of paper at lunch. I remember wishing the song “15” came sooner for me, but greatful it was there cause even at 17-18 I didn’t know who I was. I felt Taylor was there to help me find that in myself. I was supper shy and definitely made fun of/ bullied in school. It was nice to know someone knew all about it and could let me know how to maybe handle it and all the other things high school came with.

January 13th 2010, my grandpa died of cancer. He had, had it for years at this point. I suddenly couldn’t listen to breathe anymore and still can’t to this day. For some reason it just hits different sense then. He was a father figure to me sense me, my brother and mom lived with my grandma and grandpa after her divorce. Not that my dad wasn’t around. It’s just he was always there to protect me and care for me as much as my mom was.

Soon it was time for me to graduate high school (I graduated early) and I remember being in like a limbo of “what now”. I watched the VMAS that year....2009. I remember watching it live. I burst into my moms room while she was sleeping to tell her what just happened to you. I was so angry. How dare he? You WORKED SO HARD! I laid in bed to mad that I couldn’t do anything. But what else could I do.

Speak Now was then released and I downloaded the album that night. Idky, but I listened to “last kiss” on repeat tell I fell asleep. (Weird I know). At the time I was talking to a certain someone that I never thought would have ever batted an eye in my direction from my high school. I had dated him for a week but it just wasn’t the right time for either of us. Clearly Speak Now said something to me. That night I was in the dark on the phone with him while the moonlight blazed through my blinds. He told me “I would always be of high importance to him and that he wanted to take me out on my birthday” At that moment, I new I needed to jump. I didn’t jump before because I was scared and with other boys I did the same thing before. Nothing.

Speak now told me to do this before you keep regretting not jumping.

I jumped.

I absolutely didn’t have my drivers licenses.

My mom was absolutely out of town

And I absolutely took my car that I would get when legal to drive to go see this boy who gave me a romantic conversation over the phone.

I felt like I was gonna throw up. 100% scared and blaring sparks fly in what was technically my car.

I met him at the park and we went to eat from there in his car.

I couldn’t believe what I was doing. This was jumping.

After that night, that was it. He was it.

I was 19 and 100% sure that this was it.

(Good thing I was right 🥰)

My mom was furious. I even moved out.

I listened to speak now that entire time. It was a huge part of my life. I would cry every time I left him and put on speak now and it would comfort me and I would be ok.

Years go by and then low and be hold RED is debuting

(19 year old jumping from house to house just to be with him. I slept on peoples floors)

My mom had gotten married and moved to Kentucky so I went to visit her. Engaged and sitting in my moms car, my mom comes out of Walgreens with a RED T-shirt, and album for me cause I was begging. I remember hear IKYWT and thinking oh hell, we’re going into something new? I sat in my moms guest room and listened to RED and loved it. I remember thinking how sad I was for Taylor. That this is what love has become for her. Red. Something that will probably end at some point.

That was about the time that the honeymoon phase was fading out for me and my fiancé. It’s funny how that’s like a light switch and you don’t realize what kinda care you have to give and put into your love life until one day, reality hits and you want certain things. Maybe things you both don’t agree on. You start having to grow up and dealing with actual life problems you didn’t see when you were blinded by the infatuation you have for each other. That’s when RED started making sense to me. Fighting and hurting each other cause we’re 20-21 and have no idea what we’re doing. Engaged and love each other but have no clue about life and doing it. That year was my first Taylor Concert with nose bleed seats of course cause I made $7.25 an hour and a friend of mine paid for them. I screamed every word with my poster board and almost broke into tears during the entire thing. I had only wished I could get closer because I wanted to see her face to face for once. I still had the time of my life screaming and jumping around to 22!

(My sign for the red tour)

The RED era started to come to an end and me and my fiancé FINALLY got out first place together. A home that was falling apart, and illegally made into a duplex. No central a/c or heat. Insulation was probably 0% as well. This was the hardest year for us. It was Texas and Texas is brutal with heat. Shake it off debuted and I desperately tried, I promise. I was so excited for this step in Taylor’s Career and was so excited to see what the next step in my life would need to get through it. Another album to help me deal with unknowing in life and my relationship with my fiancé.

One night at midnight, I had no internet to buy an album not any money for album, let alone food in the house. I stayed up all night waiting for the album to download on YouTube that someone posted. I would buy the album which I did and still have but that night I just needed to hear it. I was up tell 5am. I didn’t know that a week later I was going to need this album more than anything.

We had a fight

The fight.

It was horrible. I sat in the dark in our broken home thinking “this can’t be it” I left to my grandmas house the next day in tears and for a week me and him argued, trying to work it out. I couldn’t understand it. I listened to All you had to do was stay like there wasn’t another song to exist. There was a night that I finally got angry. I formed my entire life around this man. How dare you give up on us so easily? I drove down scared and angry and ready to get my stuff while listening to 1989, trying to calm down but the adrenaline was crazy. I get there and that night we both break down and try to ACTUALLY work things out. I listened to Taylor so much that year. 1989 ended up being a staple. I finally got a job and we found a new apartment together. One where our electricity wasn’t $20 a day and I didn’t have to share my trash can with the neighbors. A completely new beginning and trying to heal after such a hard year. Still engaged after 3 years. We finally are getting on track. I even met some amazing people and finally a swiftie who GET ME! Shake it off came on and work and we looked at each other and I’ll never forget it. I made some great friends that I really needed that year. It’s amazing what can happen in 1 year. They ended up being a bridesmaid in my wedding and makeup artist.

YES I SAID MY WEDDING

06/25/16 we finally made it. I walked down the aisle to your in love.

I couldn’t breathe and the a/c in the church was broken in the summer. He was sweating, my dress hit a lantern twice, we joked at the alter with the crowd. It was personal and real and small. Hectic and stressful too.

You disappeared for awhile after this. I couldn’t believe the existent the media, and some reality stars/ rap singers were taking. I was very angry. I was a little confused even and wasn’t sure of what to think. I knew of all the battles at this point that you already were fighting and then this happened. Another limbo without you happened. I had all your music but you were gone. I’m thankful knowing what I do now and that you ended up ok. Better than ok.

You vented your feeling and brought out reputation!!! Naturally this ended up being the year I had to get rid of any toxic friends that I had. I had some actual good friends and I started to see the difference in what I deserved. It also could also do with my age and growing up but still. On top of that, things still ended up being hard for me and my husband that year. We were seeing each other a lot cause of work and we were becoming distant. There was a temptation I had that I didn’t give in to but it hurt. We ended up deciding that we needed to go. Get out of town and leave. We picked up our important belongings and left in 2 weeks tops.

We moved to Kentucky which made me closer to my mom and helped a lot. My husband moved for us away from his family for us and that was everything in itself. I listened to all of her albums on my 14 hour drive from Texas to Kentucky. I was scared beyond belief and with some bumps in the road. We finally made it.

Fast forward to know and it’s been a year in Kentucky and Lover is out.

Me and my husband have decided to try and start a family. That’s how good this move has been for us. We have a 2 bedroom apartment and 2 fur babies. I love the fall here, and Lover has a special place in my heart just like the others. This year has been very good for me and my husband. I was putting up fall decorations a couple days ago and I teared up at the line “this is our place we make the call” I looked around and it WAS ours. I was decorating while he was laughing at his xbox game. We did it. This era is different. I can’t wait to see what this era will show me.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[ageofavalon]

My WIPs

  ↪ Introducing: Mier School of the Arts. [8k of 70k]

❝ ‘What none of you seem to realize is: if we don’t have this school we have nothing. We don’t have each other, we don’t live out our dreams, and if MSA goes, then we become nothing. Raven, do you really want to go back to sulking around public school? Dal, could you imagine how smug your parents would be? And what about you, Dylan? Can you give up your one chance to become somebody?’ Ace’s words stared them in the face, sobering and unrelentingly true; if they couldn’t pull this off, their lives at MSA, their lives period, were through.❞  — an excerpt from MSA.

↪ Synopsis (work in progress)

Mier School of the Arts had once been the pride and joy of the Holt family. Founded in 1976 by Carolyn and Andrew Holt, Mier School of the Arts was the main attraction for the small coastal town of Mier, Washington. A prestigious academy, MSA was founded for the purpose of providing the best education for the gifted students in the surrounding area, and even for out-of-state transfer students. Eventually, the grandson of Carolyn and Andrew Holt, Elijah Holt, assumes the role of director and is left to shoulder the burden of past irresponsibility.

After the untimely death of Director Holt’s younger brother, Mier School of the Arts is in jeopardy. Funds are lacking, and Director Holt is questioning his passion for the arts. Cue Raven Lee, and her not-so-voluntary admittance to MSA. Through a series of unexpected relationships, peculiar learning experiences, and the growing bond of nine friends, Raven and her new-found companions must save MSA, as well as the students relying on it for their future.

↪ Characters

🌠 Raven- Raven is sent to MSA after getting into a bit of a ‘mishap’ with the law. A mural artist, Raven is admitted into the art department after her father pulls some strings with his many connections. While she’s at MSA, her family is moving across the country for her mother’s temporary new job. 

، female, 17, black hair, dark brown eyes

🌠 Ace- According to himself, his name is Ace because he’s good at everything. Ace is currently enrolled in four different departments at MSA: art, photography, acting, and music. He’s outgoing, goofy, and obsessed with music production. Prides himself in being Raven’s tour guide at MSA. 

، male, 17, dark brown hair, brown eyes

🌠 Leia- Star dancer of MSA. She is a lover of ballroom and freestyle dance, but forced to do ballet because of her ‘natural talent’. Her parents are pushy, and she despises them for it. She can be a bit snippy at times, but only because no one ever cares to ask about her instead of her dancing.

، female, 16, brown hair, gray eyes

🌠 Colton- He’s in the photography department. Colton can be uptight at times,but his personality isn’t too unbearable as long as he’s around his girlfriend, Grayson. He spends a lot of time doing wildlife photography, and knows many facts about animals because his father is a zoologist. Dreams of shooting for a big company like National Geographic. 

، male, 18, blond hair, brown eyes

🌠 Grayson- Also in the photography department, Grayson is the self-proclaimed ‘candid photographer’ for the group. She is extremely laid back and likable. Her favorite shots are candid portraits, and action shots of the performances. She puts orchestrates slideshows for fundraisers and other events at MSA. 

، female, 18, mousy brown hair, blue-green eyes

🌠 Dallas- Dallas is the best friend of Ace. Despite their somewhat conflicting personalities, the two of them get along well and cause a lot of trouble around MSA, though they never get caught. Dallas is in the music department. Though he is a little bit of a mess, Dallas brings charm to the group, while Ace works as the glue that holds them all together.

، male, 18, very light blond hair, nearly-black eyes

🌠 Corryn- Corryn is in the theater department. She is both a playwright and an amazing actress. She also sometimes works backstage and does directing for some of the plays, but for the most part she enjoys being in the center of things. Sometimes she can let people walk all over her, but has her friends there to watch her back and help her learn to defend herself. 

، female, 15, golden brown hair, brown eyes

🌠 Ross- Ross is one of the two living younger brothers of Director Holt. His passion lies in sculpting. He’s extremely laidback, and handles his grief very well. He’s popular around MSA for being likable and helpful, as well as being the Director’s younger sibling. He’s the twin of Dylan.

، male, 17, brown hair, hazel eyes

🌠 Dylan- Dylan is in the theater department. He’s an all around good kid, enjoys sports as well as acting, but is overwhelmed by everything going on in his life. The lack of funds as well as the recent death of his brother has been trying for him. To lose his brother and then MSA directly after would crush him.

، male, 17, brown hair, hazel eyes

🌠 Director Holt- Elijah Holt is the director of MSA. He is the older brother of Jack, Dylan, and Ross Holt. He is unsure if continuing his work at MSA is worth it after Jack is killed in a car crash, and so refuses to organize a fundraiser in order to keep the school afloat. At thirty years old, he is the legal guardian of the twins after his parents irresponsible actions while managing the school and parenting. Now, in his devastation from the loss of eighteen year old Jack, he is lost and unable to fathom why he should continue to live out his dreams when his brother cannot. 

، male, 30, brown hair, brown eyes

🌠 Rhea- Rhea is the younger sister of Raven. At thirteen years old, she has the attitude and mannerisms of a forty year old woman. She’s extremely overprotective and opinionated. She has an undiscovered talent for music, but refuses to attend MSA because she believes its a ‘rich kids’ school for ‘spoiled brats and band geeks’. 

، female, 13, black hair, brown eyes

↪ Notes

MSA is a major work in progress at the moment, and is on hold until I have time to flesh out the whole draft. I will provide links to moodboards/extra information on MSA once they have been posted. If you would liked to be tagged in any of my posts pertaining to Mier School of the Arts, please message me or let me know below. Feel free to provide feedback, suggestions, or anything else of importance. Happy writing!

[theaterdisneynerdsunite]

Tony Awards Thoughts

So it looks like, at least for now, the CBS website lets you watch it for free (at least in the US). Here are my thoughts using those time stamps (be warned I have a long running commentary)

0:23 Oh is this going to be a parody of her playing the piano on last year’s Tony’s

1:05 How has neither one of them won anything? I mean I get if they said neither one of them one a Tony cause I mean, they both did shows that one time…but anything?

1:18 Is there anything more Broadway than saying the same rehearsed thing at the same time and pretending it was just part of the banter? Oh theater tropes I love you

1:36 That’s always been something that bothered me, people assume that just because something didn’t win the Tony doesn’t mean its not a great show, and the show that wins might not even be the best one that season (you know who you are). I love the Tony’s but its an award show, people don’t stop watching tv shows and movies or listening to artists that didn’t win or weren’t nominated, it makes me sad that so many shows close post Tony’s just because they weren’t the big winner. Anyways…

1:53 THEY CELEBRATED THE LOSERS LIKE ME, these A list celebrities that are totally not losers are soooo relatable ;)

2:40 A few years ago Something Rotten did what I thought was a brilliant advertising campaign listing amazing shows that lost the Tonys like them, so the fact that it was put into song gave me a fond flashback. See? SEE??? Oh it feels so good to be vindicated on tv

3:49 “If you make art at all your a part of the cure” :)

4:10 THEY HAD THE ENSEMBLE MEMBERS BE THE ONES IN THE OPENING NUMBER RATHER THAN THE LEADS THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. If only my high school self could have seen this she would have felt so much better

6:42 I didn’t see any of the plays this year but I heard the most about Angels in America this season so not surprised. Looks interesting

7:45 Happy Pride Month

8:40 Bake a cake for everyone who wants a cake to be baked would actually be a pretty good diction warmup

14:10 Kinda surprised that they didn’t pick Rather Be Me or Apex Predator considering those are the really marketed songs. “Where We Belong” seems a lot like “Status Quo” from High School Musical. I mean you’ll get that about high school clicks in the lunch room with a blond queen bee but like, even the dance moves felt similar, and the lunch tray dancing, even the giant cat decal. But like, it's not as catchy? I didn’t expect them to win anything tonight but I really don’t think they’ll win anything now? Is that mean? Just cause it feels like it was supposed to be a high energy number and it didn’t have that energy I thought it would. Also come on, just cause you want the girls to be shallow and dumb doesn’t mean the lyrics have to be that cringey. This feels like a less good version of if Legally Blonde and High School Musical had a baby (I absolutely love Legally Blonde that was not intended to be an insult to either show).

15:00 Is it me or did Amy Schumer look like she wanted to say something but Rachel Bloom kept talking. But it didn’t really have any joke setup or serve as a good segway for commentary, what could she have wanted to say?

15:35 Later on I’m going to see if I can find the award speeches that didn’t get televised. most of the world doesn’t get broadway they get regional theater, I wanted to hear what they had to say

15:45 Nick Scandalious feels like a cartoon name you’d see in an Onion article about the Me Too movement. His face even looks like the generic celebrity that had a TMZ scandal five years ago. I thought I read it wrong at first lol

16:40 I was cracking up they know their brand so well. The air quotes on emotional, perfect!

17:10 Mini Sara and Josh are so cute!

17:50 Ok I missed the reference, what is the giant bird lady from?

18:10 oh

20:57 celebrity child picture counter: #3 Amy Schumer. Also guess which year the musical described as “a comedy about class and sexism” is from? Yup it’s My Fair Lady, the audience laughed like I did in that sort of this is funny but also sad kinda way

26:00 This was so overacted and hammy and one day I aspire to that level of loud printed robes. Coincidentally my name is also spelled like Eliza but my voice is not nearly that good. Also does it count as drag if they are clearly men in dresses with some comical makeup or is there another name for it when they aren’t actually trying to look feminine?

26:18 The twitter usernames were too small to see on my screen who were the twitter pictures of?

26:30 See above comment

27:00 What show did Billy Joel work on? Also Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, and Josh Groban maybe my mom will finally enjoy theater

29:12 Oh my gosh that picture of Titus Burgess is amazing as is that suit. And that intro is so Titus its great

30:07 Renee Fleming we’ve got the Opera world here too? It’s so many famous musicians from outside broadway on broadway, think of all the crossovers

32:50: Yes spongebob get Josh Groban to sing more thank you for your service. Ok I’m not a huge fan of spongebob but they have to win for sound design that guy is on overload

33:27 Lol it explains so much why the songs sound disjointed cause they got a billion people to write them. Also lol I was waiting for that joke

33:50 Also what I thought would happen would be a medley that way Spongebob who really is the driving energy of the show and Squidward played by the Broadway darling would both have a song. This wasn’t how I expected them to do it, but I was sort of right so I’ll count it. I’m not really a fan of Spongebob the musical (I’ve listened to it twice once when it first came out and once during Tony Season. I’m not one of the people who hate it off the sheer premise and won’t give it a chance, but I just thought it was meh and not worth having the most nominations.) But Squidward’s song is very me, not in terms of melody cause that is I find most of the melodies to be rather generic but the lyrics are 100% me trying to convince myself. Also all I will be thinking about for the rest of the will be what tap dancing must feel like its gotta feel weird how long do you think he spent practicing it with and without the extra legs. Or it might be nightmare fuel with the sea anemone contributing to it, who knows? Probably both,

38:07 still don’t know whose handles those are

38:28 ^^^

38:40 Ok when I saw the outfits I was expecting a Chorus Line Parody, but this Sia parody fits this every genre but musical theater theme of this Broadway season

39:20 Eight times a week, and all the subsequent puns

40:28 Can I just say I love this return to singing interludes over awkward award show banter?

41:44 I saw the Bands Visit a few month’s back and I still don’t know how to describe it. Normally I would guess it would be the second fiddle of the Tony’s but considering the “purists” it’ll probably win most of the awards

44:16 With all the previous reaction shots you knew it had to be Nathan Lane. I always forget how well spoken he is because of his typical roles but he is really well spoken and sincere rather than trying to wise crack and it was so sweet. It made me smile

47:43 His face saying “blow high” has got to be a gif right?

51:45 The entirety of the Carousel number was me thinking if I had a higher sex drive this would totally make me thirsty. They also used very creative ways to physically embody the shape and workings of a ship but then again I’m admittedly biased. Listen to that number you know their vocal prowess was not why they picked it

52:12 I mean, I know that crew gets less attention than cast and plays less attention than musicals but I would watch the full version stop cutting out the speeches. C’mon I love costumes

53:04 I know your joking but that hurts

53:19 yes #4 famous kid photo Uzo Aduba

55:49 Ari'el Stachel’s speech is made all the more poignant when you realize everyone else in his category were white. Despite this season’s commerciality you actually do have shows and casts with Asian leads and African American leads and Latin American leads and Middle Eastern leads somewhere between the sea of shows like Spongebob and Frozen. Show these shows some love, prove that Hamilton wasn’t the anomaly but the rule

56:55 They brought the Parkland teacher for the theater education award! Fitting 65 students into a high school teacher’s office for hours to protect them is not easy, she saved lives that day

58:17 I thought #5 Matthew Morrison was a girl in his child pic

58:40 They went to Parkland?!

59:35 OMG they’re performing!?!

1:00:10 Seasons of Love is the Perfect song for this, they sound so good too!

1:01:18 Girl has an amazing voice! Dang to get up there in front of all of these famous performers on live TV after the media has already hounded them and putting yourself out there is courageous

1:02:45 I can’t see the handles

1:03:11 Will they be able to top NPH’s Tony magic trick though??? Probably not but let’s see

1:03:31 So cheesy but tbh if I had a Harry Potter wand I’d be even cheesier

1:03:46 Was that line improved or was the tech delay intentional?

1:04:22 C’mon Squidward already pulled the same “trick” you have ensemble block the audience pov while someone enters from the back. Didn’t even come close to topping NPH

1:04:43 Little Patti Lupone I can’t believe she allowed them to include her picture of lil’ Patti

1:05:04 I just wanted to include Patti’s line about a “deep appreciation for outspoken women” cause I actually said “you go girl” out loud

1:05:35 Yeah, fun fact, Tony wasn’t a man but was actually short for Antoinette. They referenced it multiple times before, including earlier tonight, but it was stated most explicitly here

1:06:35 Is that a young or modern Claire Danes, I can’t tell

1:07:39 Also it’s really cool that an older woman won something, I feel like the stage gives more roles for older woman that other acting industries, also if people argue that she was political she served political office. Also how cool is it that apparently people were there from every recognized country?

1:09:27 so that’s how they do Sven, I knew Olaf was supposed to be an Avenue Q style puppet but the way they move Sven is really cool (it’s the technique they used on things like War Horse, I don’t know if it’s considered costuming or puppetry or what the official name is)

1:10:20 Anna looks exactly as I pictured her, and they changed a few minor lyrics for it to fit the stage

1:10:44 There are so many quick changes tonight

1:11:22 Elsa did not look like what I imagined her to be, but the costumes are on point

1:12:00 The chorus versions of these songs have beautiful harmony, but Olaf shouldn’t be there yet right? Isn’t he “born” in Let it Go

1:12:47 Alright I’ve been waiting to see how they’ll do the snow effects!

1:14:00 They got out of building the castle by already having it built at the beginning of the song, which is smart technically but I wanted to see how they do it, unless it’s one of those things that’s a surprise for when you see it live.

1:14:25 Never call it “Daddy’s Day” ever again. Never.

1:14:46 I can’t see the handles

1:14:59 How could you not show Chita Rivera’s lifetime achievement? I’ve been lucky enough to see her in more than one show and she is incredible.

1:15:13 And you also cut out Andrew Lloyd Webber’s?? You made the wrong cuts Broadway

1:15:25 It looks like they’re going to show a tribute I’m excited!!!

1:17:42 Two things: Andrew Lloyd Webber has written a weird collection of musicals, like when you see clips of them back to back you realize just how weird of a collection it is, and Josh Groban needs to be the next Phantom

1:18:08 That exchange was so physically awkward they haven’t even started talking yet and I feel the cringe

1:19:18 Is “I swore I’d never do something like that” shade against the La La Land debacle? In 2018? Or am I reading too much into it

1:19:21 I saw the Band’s Visit but I also saw Once on this Island and I thought that one would win Direction for sure but I guess I was wrong

1:22:36 I read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, it’s a weird read, but I haven’t seen it live so maybe it’s directed brilliantly, who knows? Who else thinks its a weird read?

1:23:56 He’s getting the Tony audience to sing his boyfriend "Happy Birthday" instead of giving a speech and that is both adorably sweet and such a power move. Also a rare occasion of Happy Birthday being sung on key

1:25:10 They’re having DEH perform? You cut out people who actually were awarded tonight for people who already were featured on the Tony’s last year? And that song is a weird choice for a In Memoriam considering that show doesn’t really…respect the deceased. Weird

1:28:17 Give the tech more time in the limelight! You cut out Chita and Webber’s speeches for a weird tribute and you have weird stunts with tech like the magic thing yet cut out all their stage time. I know this is standard Tony procedure but it is something I will comment on every year until it changes

1:29:20 That move for “work hard for the money mom” line was uncomfortable

1:30:30 They really do sound like the original singer

1:31:53 So that’s how the performers follow the conductor. They have a huge teleprompter-like screen in the back of the audience

1:32:52 This cast seems specifically tailored to gather different subsections of internet geeks and I will not tell you which categories I fall into

1:33:18 I never knew “the Jimmy’s” were a thing when I was in high school

1:34:54 THOSE are the great themes of Harry Potter? Really?

1:36:10 Aww look at little Cinderella

1:36:34 How are they going to build that stage for the Tonys? They built a river inside the theater for it before!

1:37:00 Well it makes sense that they’d only include part of the set, you can’t really recreate an entire building. Yes I’m so glad they included Mama Will Provide. That song is like the definition of a Tony performance song. Why did they include the Daniel bit, that was so awkward and broke up the flow

1:40:40 If anyone would be chill with the goat it’s Nathan Lane. Yup, there a live goat at the Tony Awards

1:41:21 Don’t joke about that

1:41:41 Are you going to cut out every technical award

1:42:32 Too relatable

1:43:16 Is this that song from Chorus Line in real life

1:44:10 English Major life

1:46:03 The angel from Angels in America is so Extra TM

1:46:54 That Tony Kushner line was forced

1:47:18 Awkward segway but REMEMBER TO VOTE

1:47:38 That Judy Garland line ties in perfectly with the Happy Birthday to the gay couple

1:48:04 That reaction to the word “money” is me. And also is a gif right?

Am I so much of a Tony nerd that I both knew and was shocked that the accountants weren’t the normal ones from Ernst and Young but instead were from Grant Thorton. Why do I remember what company normally tallies the Tony votes? Why did they change companies? Why do I care so much? But seriously what happened

1:49:00 That phrase just sounded so odd, just the way it was said “my television Daddy-O Tony Shalhoub”

1:53:15 I don’t have the accent and I’m about as white as white can be, but I really want to perform this song somewhere at some point. I have family in this area even though I don’t look like I would but and I just connect to it. The melody is gorgeous and the chorus reminds me of the lullabies of when I was very little.

1:54:15 Every time the young photos come up it puts a small smile on my face

1:54:37 Good on them for putting their money where their mouth is. They actually helped fund arts programs in places where they were cut

1:55:05 I wonder what the rest of the scenic guy’s speech for Spongebob was because this tiny clip seemed so passionate (and just has such an interesting aesthetic). Gosh darn it Tonys stop pretending the only backstage people that count are the directors and producers, you have all these other people who put in so much hard work yet you consistently ignore them. Even orchestrations, choreography and score?? Orchestrations, choreography and score are crucial for musicals to exist as unique entities from plays. You make jokes about people sitting through 5 hour plays but I would gladly sit through a five hour award show if you just included the technical awards.

1:57:10 me trying to open anything ever

1:57:14 Yes! I was so worried they would go with the super old school ones that get constant revivals. I mean, they picked the show that had “1000 pounds of sand, a 100 gallons of water, a goat and 2 chickens into his theater” when you have safer, more conventional bets. Everyone kept sleeping on Once on this Island this Tony season to talk about their feelings about the Spongebob’s and Mean Girl’s of the world but this is such a good show. Maybe this’ll get this show the love it deserves.

1:59:30 what did Robert DeNiro say on the recording the sound cut out. Did the mic cut out did he say something inappropriate, I’ve been avoiding Tony news what happened?

1:59:55 It’s got more than just a big cast, dancing, and a history lesson. You know that applies to, idk like 60% of famous Broadway musicals lol

2:00:06 when someone gives that pregnant of a pause you gotta wonder what the story is there

2:00:27 Truth

2:00:40 “Jersey Boy” that’s such a good one liner, actually, it might sound sarcastic online but that was a funny one liner in context

2:03:00 Is Bruce Springsteen really going to just do spoken word poetry the whole time? Also I don’t know why but this makes me think of Fun Home

2:06:05 Oh he’s going to sing after all. Though that story is about as Americana Fourth of July as anything I’ve ever heard on the Tony Awards ever and that’s saying something

2:07:39: who are these people?

2:08:00 Didn’t Kristin Chenowitz and Alan Cumming do this exact same shtick when they hosted, what 2 years ago? And there’s was much bigger I mean really go big like that Glinda the Good dress or go home.

2:08:23 Was there really no punch line? Also aww baby Kelli O’Hara is precious

2:09:07 The actor’s name sounds like his character’s name and I enjoy that

2:09:39 Well these actors are very different from each other

2:11:28 I am a sucker for genuine sincerity and that combined with some of the earlier moments like the Parkland moment brought me close to tears

2:12:45 Look at this award shows actual diversity, and not just using one show for diversity and nominating a bunch of actors you have 3 out of 6 female leads be people of color and none of them are a “token” and they all support each other. Hailey Kilgore is so young and such a good actress and I wanted her to win so much but she seemed so excited for the person who did win and they all seem happy at the result you don’t have any of that polite loser face they are all genuinely supportive and this makes me happy. I’m happy, look at those smiles I’m smiling, I love it when they show women supporting each other.

12:14:06 “my stupid little heart with so much joy” is me watching these people tonight.

12:14:27 Still can’t identify these people

12:15:00 Josh Groban’s reaction to Bernadette Peter’s name is me. Honestly Josh Groban is killing the potential gif game tonight

I’m sorry I just can’t take this description of them as “empowering stories” seriously when half of your nominations are Spongebob and Mean Girls

2:16:10 Tonight the Band’s Visit really swept. Honestly some seasons shows don’t win any awards that deserved it and other seasons shows that (while still deserving) probably wouldn’t have won win and it’s all kind of arbitrary, but I’m glad out of this batch it won, it was really the only show out of the four that would have gotten the Tony Award ticket sales boost and it got it.

2:17:35 “Music gives people hope and makes borders disappear”

2:19:08 yes another Josh Groan duet!

2:19:25 I love Miss Peters too

2:20:44 This number made me smile, this whole night made me smile. I was worried I would get frustrated by the night with Spongebob and Frozen and Mean Girls and all the potential for it to be a cynical snark fest or a capitalist money grabber spectacular. There are about 10 billion ways I saw myself not liking this year’s Tony Awards before it started and not only am I relieved that I was wrong about the mood of the night but I am elated. I love me some deadpan humor and some snark but you rarely see one of these nights just wholly be genuine and not tongue and cheek and it was such a breath of fresh air. Even the hokey bits like the stupid magic jokes and banter or weaker songs like that Mean Girls number, because everything was in such a kindhearted atmosphere, didn’t feel as bad as they otherwise would have.

[xornwaswrong-blog]

Bootlegs!

I would love to trade, but I can gift if you’re new to the bootleg world. I did not film any of these. Please don’t try to “trade” YouTube videos with me. Also, respect NFT dates. If I forgot to include one, please message me nicely and I’ll put it up. Feel free to ask whatever questions you need to ask. If you’re only interested in VOBs, please ask if I have VOBs of what you want, because I have them for a lot of the shows I have, but it’s easier for me to access my mp4s and I may forget.

Abbreviations I use: OBC = Original Broadway Cast OOBC = Original Off Broadway Cast OBRC = Original Broadway Revival Cast NFT = Not For Trade

3 Musketeers with Aaron Tveit

9 to 5 OBC

13 OBC

1776 (1997 Cast)

21 Chump Street

25th Annual Puntnam County Spelling Bee OBC

A Bronx Tale

A Christmas Story OBC

A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder OBC

Aida with Idina Menzel

A New Brain Original Cast

A New Brain Jonathan Groff

Annie Get Your Gun Bernadette Peters

Annie Get Your Gun Megan Hilty

Aladdin OBC

Altar Boyz

Annie OBRC

Anyone Can Whistle Patti Lupone, Michael Cerveris and Audra McDonald (Ravina production)

Anyone Can Whistle Donna Murphy, Raul Esparza and Sutton Foster (Encores Production)

Anything Goes with Stephanie J. Block

American Idiot Broadway

American Psycho OBC

Anastasia Hartford

Anastasia OBC (NFT until Nov. 1)

Avenue Q OBC

Bandstand OBC

Bare the Musical Off Broadway

Bat Boy Kerry Butler

Beauty and the Beast OBC

Blood Brothers 1989 Proshot

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson Broadway

Book of Mormon OBC

Book of Mormon Nic Rouleau Ben Platt

Book of Mormon London Gavin Creel

Book of Mormon Workshop

Bridges of Madison County OBC

Bright Star Closing Night

Bring It On OBC

Cabaret 1987 (Joel Grey)

Cabaret (Raul Esparza)

Cabaret (Emma Stone)

Cabaret 2014 OBRC

Camelot Richard Burton and Christine Ebersole

Carousel 1994 (Audra McDonald)

Carousel Live from Lincoln Center (Kelli O’Hara, Jessie Mueller)

Carousel (Steven Pasquale Laura Osnes)

Carrie (Off-Broadway)

Catch Me If You Can OBC

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Broadway

Chess in Concert

Chicago OBRC (Ann Reinking, Bebe Newirth)

The Color Purple OBC

The Color Purple OBRC

The Color Purple with Heather Headley

Come From Away OBC

Company in Washington DC (John Barrowman, Alice Ripley)

Company Raul Esparza Proshot

Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime OBC

Dear Evan Hansen OBC

Debbie Does Dallas Sherie Rene Scott

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels OBC

Dog Sees God OOBC

Dogfight OOBC

The Drowsy Chaperone with Bob Saget

Evita OBC (Patti Lupone)

Evita Tour (Raul Esparza)

End of the Rainbow with Tracie Bennet

Equus with Daniel Radcliffe

Falsettos OBC

Falsettos Mandy Patinkin

Falsettos OBRC (2 angles and the proshot rip)

The Frogs Nathan Lane

Fun Home OBC

Fun Home Tour Kate Schindle and Carly Gold

Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum (Nathan Lane revival)

Grey Gardens OBC

Groundhog Day OBC

Guys and Dolls 2009 Revival

Gypsy with Tyne Daly

Gypsy Bette Midler movie

Gypsy with Patti Lupone

Gypsy London proshot

Hair (Encores with Idina Menzel and Jesse Tyler Ferguson)

Hair Actors Benefit Concert (This cast is crazy awesome, PM me for details)

Hairspray OBC

Hairspray OBC conductor cam

Hairspray Aaron Tveit

Hairspray Andrew Rannells

Hairspray OLC

Hamilton OBC

Hamilton OCC

Hamilton Javier Munoz u/s

Hamilton Javier Munoz & Lexi Lawson u/s

Hamilton Act 1 Andrew Rannells

Hand to God (Jim Parsons and Sean Hayes)

Hands on a Hardbody

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Heathers (understudy Heather Chandler and JD)

Heathers Full OC (bad angle, bad filming, only Act 1)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Off Broadway proshot, JCM

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Andrew Rannells

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Darren Criss

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Jason Cameron Mitchel (Crate Show)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Taye Diggs

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Lena Hall as Hedwig

Hello Dolly Bette Midler OBRC

Hello Dolly Donna Murphy (NFT until October)

Honeymoon In Vegas

How To Succeed… Daniel Radcliffe

If/Then Jackie Burns

In The Heights OBC

In The Heights Krysta Rodriguez

In The Heights London (a LOT of understudies, though. PM me for details)

Into The Woods 2002 OBC Off-Broadway

Into The Woods Regent’s Park

Into The Woods (Amy Adams, Donna Murphy)

Into the Woods (Heather Headley, Rob McClure)

InTransit Broadway

Jersey Boys with Andrew Rannells

Jesus Christ Superstar Arena Tour proshot

The King and I Donna Murphy

The King and I Kelli O’Hara

The King and I Marin Mazzie

Kinky Boots OBC

Kinky Boots Brendon Urie (starts at Sex is in the Heel)

Kiss Me Kate Rachel York proshot

La Cage aux Folles (both revivals)

Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill

The Last Five Years Norbert Leo Butz and Lauren Kennedy

The Last Five Years OOBC

The Last Five Years Betsy Wolfe Adam Kantor

The Last Five Years Katie Rose Clarke Adam Halpin

Legally Blonde OBC (proshot)

Les Miserables (Sutton Foster as Eponine)

Les Miserables (Drew Sarich as Valjean)

Les Miserables (Lea Salonga as Fantine)

Les Miserables (Kerry Ellis as Fantine)

Les Miserables 2011

Les Miserables Dallas

Les Miserables 2014 OBRC

Les Miserables 10th Anniversary Concert (proshot)

Lightning Thief Concert

Little Foxes (Laura Linney as Regina)

A Little Night Music Bernadette Peters

The Little Mermaid (Broadway, not out of town tryouts)

Little Shop of Horrors Florida Tryouts (Alice Ripley, Hunter Foster, Billy Porter)

Little Shop of Horrors OBC

Little Shop of Horrors Jake Gyllenhaal

Love Never Dies

Man of LaMancha (2002)

Matilda w/Lesli Margarita

Memphis OBC (proshot)

Merrily We Roll Along Raul Esparza

Merrily We Roll Along 2013

Miss Saigon Lea Salonga Will Chase

Miss Saigon London Revival (Proshot)

Miss Saigon London Revival (bootleg)

Miss Saigon Broadway Revival

The Music Man (Robert Sean Leonard and Rebecca Luker)

The Mystery of Edwin Drood (Revival Cast)

Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 OBC (two of them, one from December)

Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 Scott Sangland

Newsies OBC

Newsies Jeremy Jordan Kara Lindsay (proshot)

Next To Normal OOBC

Next To Normal OBC

Next To Normal OBC (Matinee, VOBs)

Next To Normal 2nd Broadway Preview

Next To Normal Alice Ripley, Jennifer Damiano, & Brian D'Arcy James’ Final Performance

Next To Normal Jessica Phillips & Kyle Dean Massey

On Your Feet OBC 10/17/15

Once OBC

Once with Arthur Darville

Once Upon A Mattress OBRC (Sarah Jessica Parker)

Pacific Overtures OBC (proshot)

Pajama Game Kelli O'Hara Harry Connick Jr.

Parade in Concert (Jeremy Jordan and Laura Benanti)

Parade 2009 LA Production

Passion Patti Lupone 2005 (Lincoln Center)

Pippin Toronto (proshot)

Pippin 2013 OBRC

Pippin with Kyle Dean Massey and Ciara Rene

Phantom of the Opera 25th Anniversary (proshot)

Phantom of the Opera Norm Lewis and Sierra Bogress

The Pirate Queen OBC

The Prom World Premiere

The Producers OBC

Priscilla Queen of the Desert

Ragtime OBC

Reefer Madness OOBC (Kristen Bell)

Rent OBC Opening Night

Rent 10th Anniversary Reunion Concert

Rent Closing Cast with Renee Elise Goldsberry (proshot)

Rent Hollywood Bowl

The Robber Bridegroom (Steven Pasquale)

Rocky OBC (Andy Karl)

Rocky Horror Show OBC (Daphne Rubin-Vega and Joan Jett) [yes, that Joan Jett]

Saved! (Aaron Tveit)

Scarlet Pimpernel

School of Rock OBC

Scotsboro Boys OBC

Secret Garden Concert

Seussical (Rosie O’Donnel)

Side Show OBC

Sister Act OBC

Shuffle Along OBC

Something Rotten OBC

Something Rotten Rob McClure

South Pacific Kelli O’Hara (bootleg)

SpongeBob Musical Chicago Tryout

Spring Awakening Krysta Rodriguez (PM me for details on the understudies)

Spring Awakening Deaf West

Streetcar Named Desire John C. Reilly and Natasha Richardson

Sunday in the Park with George OBRC (Jake Gyllenhaal & Annaleigh Ashford)

Sunset Boulevard 2017 (February 24th)

Sweeney Todd OBC

Sweeney Todd Angela Lansbury proshot

Sweeney Todd 2012 (Imelda Staunton Michael Ball)

Sweeney Todd Concert (Emma Thompson, Christian Borle)

Sweet Charity with Sutton Foster

tick… tick… BOOM OOBC

[title of show]

Thoroughly Modern Millie OBC

Twelfth Night (1998)

Urinetown OBC

Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike OBC

Violet OBRC (Sutton Foster)

Waitress OBC

Waitress Sara Barellies

War Paint OCC

War Paint Broadway previews

We Will Rock You (Kerry Ellis)

The Wedding Singer OBC

West Side Story with Karen Olivo OBRC

Wicked OBC previews

Wicked OBC but Taye Diggs is Fiyero

Wicked Kristin Chenoweth’s Last

Wicked Shoshana Bean, Jennifer Laura Thompson, and Joey McIntyre

Wicked Idina’s “Last performance” Joey McIntyre’s last performance (Shoshana Bean, Jennifer Laura Thompson, and Joey McIntyre)

Wicked Julia Murney Broadway

Wicked Victoria Matlock

Wicked Megan Hilty’s Last Broadway Show with Eden

Wicked Eden Espinosa’s Last Broadway Show

Wicked Eden Espinosa and Megan Hilty LA

Wicked Stephanie J. Block and Analeigh Ashford

Wicked Dee Roscoli

Wicked Willemijn Verkaik and Katie Rose Clarke

Wicked Mandy Gonzalez and Andy Karl

Wicked Lili Cooper and Kara Lindsay

Wicked Laurel Harris and Kara Lindsay

Wicked Kerry Ellis

Wicked Jackie Burns (no fly)

Wicked Jackie Burns 2010

Wicked Donna Vivino tour

Wicked Donna Vivino and Ali Mauzey

Wicked Rachel Tucker and Jonah Platt

Wicked Kara Lindsay and Jennifer DiNoia

The Wild Party Encores!

Wonderful Town Donna Murphy

Xanadu OBC

You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown Revival

I haven’t watched all of these yet, so I may have some cast details slightly wrong (understudies and the like). Please PM me for trading. Be sure to follow me.

Wants:

Avenue Q with Rob McClure

Any Carousel I don’t have

Evita with Eden Espinosa (ready to kill to get this)

Last Five Years with Samantha Barks (one of the only audio trades I will accept)

Any Last Five Years I don’t have

Les Mis in general

Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 w/ Oak and/or Ingrid Michaelson once the NFT date passes

Any Natasha Pierre…. I don’t have

Next to Normal Marin Mazzie

Any Rent that I don’t have (especially if it’s with Sherie Rene Scott)

She Loves Me in general (not the 2016 livestream)

Sunset Boulevard in general

Wicked with Susie Mathers

Wicked in general

And generally anything I don’t have

[talislibrary]

Neil Perry/James Wilson

TWS! // s*ucide attempt, brief mention of drugs/alcohol abuse, brief mention of a medical procedure, gay slurs

Neil was enraged with his father and after the old man stormed out of the room, he remained in the living room to talk with his mom about how he couldn't leave acting and the boy he loved behind, but his mother, too afraid of her own husband, just ushered Neil to bed. Instead of sleeping, he went up to his room, enjoyed the last few hours of the day in which he got a role in his first play, the main role, that was. He then scrambled to the bathroom, rummaging through whatever pills he could find, the water from the sink aiding them to go down his throat. Knowing fully well what he had done, he rushed to his father's office, uncovering the gun hidden in the drawer of his desk. He sat on the floor for hours on end, the gun aimed at his head, when the pills finally kicked in and he collapsed on the rough carpet, his hand falling right next to him, pistol aimed in his direction. He did it to get a new life, to forget about his first love and the adrenaline he got from being an actor; it was a new role he had to play, the role of a medicine student at Harvard. Ten years of sleepless nights, numerous studies engraved in his mind, needles, blood, gloves that would tug at his skin, screams, tears. But most importantly, it meant the years he had left until his last breath, without the Todd Anderson he so dearly cherished, without the creaking of linoleum under his boots, without the fading claps of the audience and flashing lights distancing themselves from him by crimson, velvet curtains.

He woke up with bright, white lights shining in his face, an uncomfortable gown, too tight at the waist, embracing his shivering form. The crook of both his arms hurt, his pointer finger being held stiff by some sort of white clamp. A faint, rhythmic beeping in the background, covered by the voice of his mother and a stranger's.

His eyes fluttered as he groaned and frowned, pain shooting down his spine and throughout his whole body, his words coming out rasped as he struggled to breathe properly. "Wh-where am I?" The 17-year old spoke, his lids finally fully opening, allowing him to observe his surroundings. He was in a hospital, his mom chatting up a young male nurse, his dad nowhere to be found. Upon hearing his broken voice, Mrs. Perry jumped and rushed towards the bed in which Neil was resting, worry painting over her features.

After letting him know what went down and why he was there, his mother went to fetch Mr. Perry, to let him know his son was now awake and feeling better. Neil couldn't help but smirk, as subtly as he could without his face muscles hurting; had his father been framed for his temporary death? Was he feeling too guilty to look his son in the eyes?

His questions were quickly and negatively answered, as his old man stomped in the salon, his brows furrowed and the veins on his forehead visible, just as they usually are when he gets angry. And as he expected, he heard the following:

"No son of mine is ever going to be a fag and taint the family name in such a way, you hear me?! You're going to Harvard whether you want it or not, and if I hear or see you mingling around with any boy for too long, you're out and off to military school! I will not stand around and watch you throw dirt on my name as if I didn't raise you to be the man you are today!"

Ah, yes, of course. Mrs. Perry succumbed to fear and sang like a birdie for her husband. To Neil's surprise, the words that spilled out of his father's mouth didn't leave the same pang in his heart as they used to. Sure, maybe it was because his whole body felt numb, and yet it was excruciatingly painful to move, or maybe he did become a grown man after faking his own death.

There he was. A medicine student at Harvard. Nothing but another soul to be drained, another brain to be so proudly filled with heaps of information, more or less necessary.

He was 22, half of those 10 years of agony had passed, when he started practice. He was nothing but an observer, another one of the kids who sat in the corners of checkup or surgery rooms, jotting down whatever intricate words the doctors would blabber whenever they bothered to look at the students. He was but a young boy when he met the woman who would turn out to be his first wife. She was one of the first patients he got to perform a physical on, his fingers shaking and browbone sweating as he hesitantly palped around her torso, his first case of cancer sitting right in front of him. Poor boy felt so bad after he was pushed by the supervising doctor to deliver her the devastating news, that he had invited her out, to help her feel like she had at least one person in her life who didn't treat her like a ticking clock, but rather the human she was. A 30-year-old blonde, a preschool teacher who had few years left of her life, dating a barely-legal man, aspiring doctor, who wanted nothing but to comfort her and give her a safe space for the last few years of her life. See, he didn't mean it to escalate, he just wanted to treat her to a coffee, but after a few outings, they easily fell for each other and at 24, Neil Perry was now a widowed man, sulking through the hallways of Harvard dorms. His eyes would scan some of the men who he had seen in his classes every now and then, but he would quickly shake his head, cursing himself in his mind and moving on with his life as he did until then.

Fresh out of Harvard and a helping hand for one doctor which was, back then, the best one in Oncology, Neil Perry had his wallet bursting at its seams, money flowing in bank accounts so much that he felt overwhelmed; he had nothing to spend his salaries and bonuses on. A house in a secluded area - more like a villa -, a new car, more shirts and dress pants than he could count, a new watch, a new phone - a new life. He was swimming in money and he needed someone to take care of it for him, someone to spend it on.

Before he knew it, he was having lunch dates with one of the nurses at the hospital they both worked at. Faster than he could comprehend, she was now living with him, having quit her job because "he was the man of the house, he had to support both of them financially". His father was exhilarated, his son was finally marrying someone who was fit to carry the family name further. His mom, on the other hand, was too deep into alcohol, and the antidepressants Neil previously sneaked home for her to find some relief in, and she couldn't feel anything but constant sorrow over the life she gave up for a man who was now self-absorbed.

Despite being treated like nothing but an ATM with a high-sex drive, he still found himself at the altar, fingers trembling as he held her hands and exchanged vows, promising his whole being to her will. 

Except she didn't seem to take that seriously. One night, when the clock struck 12 am to be exact, young doctor Neil arrived home from his 24-hour shift to park in an empty driveway, his wife's car nowhere to be found. With his brain working on nothing but desire to save lives and watery coffee, the 27-year-old hid his car in the garage, closing it so his wife and whatever companion his mind made up wouldn't see he was already in the house. In the kitchen, he grabbed a cold bottle of beer, popped the cap open, and took a drag of one of the cigarettes he had hidden in his coat, sitting at the island where he and his partner would usually share hurried kisses as they headed to bed after his long work shifts. He should've seen it. She stopped staying awake for him, stopped calling or texting him to check if he was okay or missed her, his money now went out of his account without any permission requested beforehand. She didn't even call him pet names anymore, he was only "Neil" or "Dr. Perry". In his own house, he was being treated as he had a job there.

Another puff of smoke engulfing his lungs and the empty sound of glass on the marble counter were the only ones that greeted him as he jolted from his seat, the front door unlocking. 1 AM, read his watch. One in the morning and there he was. Tie thrown on the floor, shirt wrinkled and hastily half-unbuttoned, his sleeves above his elbows. Tipsy, intoxicated by the cigarette smoke and enraged. It summed up his current state. He was nobody's, or at least he was about to be.

As soon as his wife and one of their banker neighbors stepped in the house, the older man obscenely sucking at her lips, Neil stood up and walked towards the pair. The cigarette fell from between his slender fingers as he tugged his wedding ring off of his left hand, throwing the golden jewelry next to the cigar, both stopping at his now ex-wife's feet.

'I can't do this anymore.' he thought as he hopped in his car and drove off to a hotel close-by, not wanting to see anybody familiar for the night. The woman that he loved, or at least thought he loved, cheating on him. It clicked into place faster than it should've. With her drifting away, he now knew the reason behind it. Of course, she was too tired to wait for him from all the fooling around she did with their next-door neighbor, who only worked 9-5 and still had more money than he did. He had more free time, more free will; he was able to leave when he wanted to, nobody depended on him. Unlike Neil's situation, where he was playing the game of life and death. He had millions of lives in his hands, figuratively and literally. He was one with the numerous folders in the archive of the hospital he worked in.

The next few days were nothing but chaos, work papers over divorce papers over legal and court papers. Not only did he still have to report and procedure that he or his co-workers performed on patients for the head of the department to take note of, but he also wanted to turn his life around. Gone were the days of foolish little Neil Perry, who was being strummed like a harp by egotistical people, including his father. He now embraced the feeling of belonging to nobody but himself. 

After a few painkillers for his circumcision and a quick dip in a ritual bath, he was part of the Jewish community, known under the name of James Evan Wilson. 

A thirty-year-old doctor, head of the Oncology department at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. A middle-aged man, dating one of his best friend's ex-students.

Cutthroat bitch, or Amber, which was her actual name, was now all over Dr. Wilson, who had come to teach the group she was in. One glance at him was all she needed, and a couple of wine glasses later, she was what Wilson needed too.

It didn't take too long for both House and his friend to realize that the younger was, indeed, sleeping with the female version of the Head of Diagnostics. The only differences were a few body parts, hair color, one limping leg in minus, and a lot less misery.

There he was. Wilson, in all his sleep-deprived glory, after three wives (one of which left him because her yoga instructor was more "exotic", and of course House had to comfort him after the divorce, he just had to show he cares while still coming off as an asshole). James, who was now lying wide awake in bed, tossing and turning in his small apartment. Evan, who lost all his purpose, who felt like something out there didn't want him to be fulfilled. Neil, who had to give up his paradise just to escape hell, who still felt like a little boy, wandering around the world with foggy vision and a scarred heart.

[angeltriestoblog]

I watched a couple of movies! (Part 1)

Back when I regularly had the luxury of long breaks, I spent my days binge-watching films, as you can see from my extensive knowledge of 80s chick flicks and all the cheesy tropes and disgustingly adorable, predominantly white leading men that come with them. Sadly, a side effect of growing older in the digital age seemed to be the diminishment of my attention span: the only things I could focus on were academic requirements, simply because I had to. But, thanks to several factors—the suspension of online classes, the sudden annoyance I developed towards Barney Stinson that prompted me to discontinue How I Met Your Mother, etc.—I decided it was high time to rekindle this lost love. So, here is an unsolicited review of the 17 films I managed to finish in a little over a week! Rest assured, I tried my best to venture out of familiar territory and brush up on some of the more cultured picks, according to Letterboxd, at least.

Bar Boys (2017, dir. Kip Oebanda) ★★★

The film that kickstarted everything, which I never would have seen if the director had not uploaded the full version on YouTube. This well-meaning tale of four best friends (Carlo Aquino, Rocco Nacino, Enzo Pineda, and Kean Cipriano) and the challenges they face in law school—terror professors, fraternities, and financial difficulties included—does have a lot of heart, and is sensitive enough to show how the effect of this experience differs depending on a student's background. But, what it lacked for me was a certain degree of specificity: I think the same premise would have been applicable in med school, or any other post-graduate degree for that matter. So, why did the characters choose law? I also would have appreciated some commentary on the shortcomings of the country’s justice system, and further fleshing out of the characters so the audience could have seen why we could count on them to fill in the gaps.

Legally Blonde (2001, dir. Robert Luketic) ★★★½

The rating might be surprising, considering that the courtroom scene was responsible for the short law school phase I had in Grade 5. As if I could ever make use of the rules of haircare in an actual cross-examination. Of course, I am compelled to admire Elle (Reese Witherspoon) and how her motivations for going to Harvard shift from winning back a boy to discovering what she never knew she had and using these gifts to help those around her (especially the manicurist, who I feel was given way more exposure than what was due to her). Ultimately, though it was inspirational at some points, it felt too good to be true and impossible to relate to. (But then again, shouldn’t there be a willing suspension of disbelief when consuming forms of media such as this?)

Lady Bird (2017, dir. Greta Gerwig) ★★★★★

I’ll probably end up making a separate post dedicated to this movie and how it singlehandedly called me out, as a sensitive, occasionally self-important product of an all-girls Catholic high school. For now, I am forced to condense my overflowing feelings into a couple of sentences. Lady Bird takes place over the course of the titular character's senior year, a pivotal moment in the lives of all teenagers. But, instead of focusing solely on the formulaic firsts like the normal coming-of-age film would, it shines a light on her dwindling relationship with her equally strong-willed mother. Saoirse Ronan’s colorful performance as the human embodiment of my pre-teen self's conscience, and Greta Gerwig’s tremendous ability to make even oddly specific scenes speak to any viewer shine through and speak to me the most, and easily make this gem something I will be recommending this to anyone who bothers to ask for as long as I live.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018, dir. Bryan Singer) ★★★

There’s a lot of controversy surrounding Bo Rhap, particularly its failure to portray Freddie Mercury in a manner that does him justice. While I understand that it is a valid concern for fans of the band, I admit I don’t know enough about who he was as a person to criticize the film in this aspect. Regardless of its factuality, this still was just average for me, the typical rise-and-fall type of biopic that is indicative of a rockstar’s legacy, but with laughably faulty editing. The redeeming factors were Rami Malek’s brilliant portrayal of the legend himself—his Live Aid performance gave me chills that lasted the entire 20 minutes, how alarming—and, obviously, the soundtrack that I kept on loop for several days.

About Time (2013, dir. Richard Curtis) ★

Apparently, this movie focuses on Tim (Domhnall Gleeson), who discovers at age 21 that the men in his family have the power to time-travel and thus revise and repair certain parts of their lives. He uses this to address the fact that he’s never had a girlfriend, and effectively so as he ends up bagging Mary (Rachel McAdams), a charming American who is the settler in this relationship by default. But, of course, this gift is not without its dire consequences—or at least, that’s what it says on Wikipedia. It’s hard to trash on this and admit that I bailed halfway because so many of my friends swear by this. But, I just couldn’t stomach the lack of chemistry between the two leads; the surprisingly boring dialogue for a screenplay crafted by Richard Curtis of Notting Hill fame; and the story that, although bore enough of a resemblance to “The Time Traveler’s Wife” to be interesting, was still not powerful enough to sustain my attention.

Your Name (2016, dir. Makoto Shinkai) ★★★★★

I’m a huge fan of plots that are sure to make my eyes swell and heart hurt—I can’t explain the psychology behind this either. So when this was recommended to me and I had made it through an hour without shedding a single tear, I was prepared to be disappointed. But, the events leading up to the conclusion proceeded to rip me into shreds, as if to taunt me and say, “You asked for it.” Mitsuha (Mone Kamishiraishi) and Taki (Ryunosuke Kamiki), teenagers living on opposite sides of the country, suddenly start switching bodies following the appearance of a comet. This unexplainable phenomenon causes them to forge an unbreakable bond that transcends the very limits of time and space. I know the description is not much, but it’s best to experience this unique plot for yourself. Besides its storyline, its charm lies in its excruciating attention to detail in depicting life in urban and rural Japan, both in the realistic animation of one picturesque scene after another, and the use of cultural elements to arrive at a twist viewers will not see coming.

Booksmart (2019, dir. Olivia Wilde) ★★★★½

I can't summarize what I imagine Booksmart to be for teenagers in the future, so here's an entire scenario: It's the year 2070. Two young girls of around 16 are sprawled on their bedroom floor, watching this on whatever device they use for streaming. (Maybe it's from an LCD projector embedded in their foreheads, who knows.) The credits roll, and they instantly think to themselves, "Man, we were born in the wrong generation!" (They simultaneously think of doing a high-five, and without raising their hands themselves, it happens because that's technology.) Anyway, Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) and Molly (Beanie Feldstein) are best friends who played by the rules all throughout high school and realized too late that they could’ve afforded to have a little more fun. On the eve of their graduation, they decide to cram four years’ worth of adventure in a single unpredictable and outrageous night, getting to grips with everything that comes their way in an exceedingly comedic yet refreshing fashion. Also, the protagonists have such a genuine and wholesome relationship: the way they hyped up their most ridiculous looking outfits, or overshared borderline uncomfortable stories is honestly my personal definition of an ideal friendship.

When Harry Met Sally (1989, dir. Rob Reiner) ★★★★½

Despite this film’s constant presence in every “chick flicks you must watch” list I’ve bothered searching up, I spent a huge chunk of my teen years in constant protest against the decision to cast Billy Crystal as the male lead instead of, I don’t know, literally any other actor on the planet. But, once I finished it, I realized that he’s a much better fit than I thought. The laidback Harry to Meg Ryan’s finicky Sally, both of them spare no effort exploring and debunking truths and misconceptions about modern relationships: examples of which are the idea of being high maintenance, and the quintessential question of whether a guy and girl can ever be just friends. Although their dynamic is the definition of slow burn, audiences can’t help but earnestly root for the pair—the frustration brought by the several almosts pay off in the end, as they lead to one of, if not, the most romantic love confession scene.

Hintayan ng Langit (2018, dir. Dan Villegas) ★★★★½

This tale adapted from a play by no less than Juan Miguel Severo is set in purgatory—a grandiose art museum-four star hotel hybrid of sorts—where souls can stop and rest while their papers for entry to heaven are being processed. It is here we meet Manolo (Eddie Garcia) and Lisang (Gina Pareno), ex-lovers with unfinished business. Things admittedly start off a bit slow, but it's understandable since there needs to be ample provision of context regarding the standard operating procedures of this unique waiting area. Once that’s done, the focus stays on the main actors, who drive audiences to tears with their powerful performances, and thought-provoking questions on matters of betrayal, forgiveness, and the afterlife. The ending had me rocking back and forth like a baby, my shirt soaked with tears, so do take heed and stock up on tissues!

The Social Network (2010, dir. David Fincher) ★★★★★

Within its packed first 15 minutes alone, you can easily see what makes The Social Network an example of cinema at its finest: an intoxicated Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) hacks into the websites of all Harvard dorms to create Facebook’s oldest ancestor from scratch, in an attempt to get back at his ex-girlfriend. The atmosphere is tense, the dialogue is loaded with witty one-liners and powerful insight, and the actors are so in touch with their characters they practically fuse into a single person. This remains consistent for the next two hours or so, making for an enjoyable and fast-paced, yet still informative glimpse into the human side of what is arguable the most powerful company of this era. I also heard that it’s much more fun if seen with the cast commentary on, so I’m gonna have to find a copy of that for myself!

Pretty in Pink (1986, dir. Howard Deutch) ★★★★★

I’m cheating here, I know: this has been a long-time favorite, but I guess I can still give a review if I was still 15 when I last saw this. Andie (Molly Ringwald) and Blane (Andrew McCarthy)’s classic “poor girl + rich boy = happily ever after” story is masterfully tackled by John Hughes, who manages to inject equal amounts of swoon-worthy romance and biting criticism of the inherent class divide in society. Others would argue that Duckie (Jon Cryer), Andie’s devoted best friend, is the true star of the show, and while I do agree that he has his shining moments (if you listen closely, you can hear Try A Little Tenderness playing softly in the background), I sadly inherited my mother’s adoration for Andrew, which I will pass on to my child and so on—truly the defining characteristic of our lineage.

St. Elmo’s Fire (1985, dir. Joel Schumacher) ½

I understand that being an adult in the Real World is bound to come with some grave mistakes and lapses in judgment. But, not a single character in this friend group redeems themselves by the end. While Ally Sheedy’s Leslie and Mare Winningham’s Wendy were just borderline forgettable (why did the latter even end up here with the Brat Pack?), Judd Nelson’s Alec cheats on his girlfriend and believes that marriage is what will make him change his ways; Rob Lowe’s Billy neglects the family he didn’t plan on having by fooling around with other women and making a home out of his favorite bar; Demi Moore’s Jules relies on cocaine and extramarital affairs to hide trauma she refuses to process, and Andrew McCarthy’s pretentiously cynical Kevin suddenly claims he knows what love is when Leslie pays attention to him for 10 minutes. But, none of them compare to Emilio Estevez’ Kirby, the sociopath obsessed with a girl he barely knows. It honestly resembles some sick contest of how many problems this gang can cause before they end up behind bars, with the last scene being a lazy and rushed attempt to wrap everything up, in the name of this surface-level “friendship”.

Before Sunrise, Sunset, and Midnight (1995, 2004, 2013; dir. Richard Linklater) ★★★★★

Guess it’s better to admit it now, but I made this post as an excuse to rave about how beautiful this trilogy is, the most authentic depiction of love in its purest form. Sunrise has been recommended to me by both friends and the Netflix algorithm, but I put off watching it again and again and again. I mean, what could I possibly get out of looking at two strangers roam around Vienna? Well, to answer that question: quite a lot. Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy)’s relationship spans an entire trilogy, and throughout that period, they manage to define then destroy the idea of having a soulmate to call your own in approximately six hours. But certain constancies are present in each movie: the emotion intense even in the smallest of gestures (you don't understand the anguish I feel when the scene at the listening booth randomly pops in my head), the dialogue truly thought-provoking and natural, the settings so picturesque, and the chemistry of the actors so electric I have trouble believing that the director didn’t actually invade the personal space of a real couple and eventually get issued a restraining order.

High Fidelity (2000, dir. Stephen Frears) ★★

I’d like to think of this as an essay: I'm confident that the introduction is the protagonist Rob's soliloquy on his five biggest breakups to understand why he’s so flawed that everyone always leaves him, and the conclusion his attempt to win his ex Laura (Iben Hjejle) back. But as for the body, I’m not entirely sure. Interspersed between these moments are thoughtful top five lists of anything that can be enumerated, and occasional banter with the employees at his record store that may be charming, but do not enhance the film in any way, shape, or form for me. Also, I normally enjoy seeing John Cusack onscreen, but more often than not, he was nagging in front of the camera instead of talking to the people around him; no wonder his relationships failed!

Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010, dir. Edgar Wright) ★★★

I wanted to enjoy this so bad, I swear! Sadly, the one thing I gained after seeing this is knowledge of where the “I’m So Sad, So Very Very Sad” meme came from. I get that it’s supposed to resemble a comic book or video game, and maybe the reason why I failed to appreciate this as much is because I was never a fan of either. I found the prolonged action scenes surprisingly boring, the storyline too fantastic, and the whole quest of having to defeat seven monstrous exes for the hand of a manic pixie dream girl not worth it in the end. Although I can’t give it less than three stars given its impressive visual effects, and appeal to the entire Tumblr community (gamers on one end, millennial film connoisseurs on the other), it’s definitely not something I would watch a second time.

There will surely be more where that came from! (I mean it. Since completing this post, I’ve finished another five films.) If you wanna keep tabs on what I’m watching without having to wait on another post, you can give my Letterboxd a follow. Wishing you love and light always, and don’t forget to wash your hands and pray for our frontliners!