#both of them have such a martyr complex and underestimate their own importance

[shivunin]

Hi there! 💜

For the WIP asks... What about 6 and 9? :3

Thank you for asking, Arja! <3

(question list here)

6. Does this chapter/fic have any twists that you’re proud of?

I'm answering for the fic instead of the chapter, but there is a scene in the Black Emporium that I think will be a little unexpected, but I'm really (really really) proud of it. I don't think there are many twists in this fic in general, because it's really about the kind of slow healing that must be done after a deep hurt. Recovery has its ups and downs, but it's not necessarily as plot twisty as other types of plot.

9. What is your favorite dialogue you’ve written so far?

hehehe well, I love writing a good argument, so here's this from the most recent chapter:

“And you,” he snapped at last, unable to bear the silence, “Would you rather let yourself be pummeled than allow me to do my job and block the blow?”

“What?” Elowen said, turning toward him, and Cullen looked at her at last, “But you—”

“You stood between me and that—that thing. You—and you do not even have a shield! Why would you—”

“You’re too important to lose, Cullen,” she said, frowning, “Of course I stepped between you. No shield? I had a barrier on the whole time, or I’d be a bloody smear on the floor by now.”

That was not reassuring. Cullen scoffed and looked away again, hands tightening on the reins. 

“I am too important to—can you hear yourself? You’re the Inquisitor. I am only the—”

“I don’t know why you’re angry with me. I was only—”

“Only showing a potent disregard for your own safety,” Cullen snapped, “When I’d read the field reports I thought they must surely be exaggerating. You said you wanted to know how to protect yourself better in close combat—I thought you intended to do so in the way it was meant to be done, with ample protection and forethought. I did not think you would be throwing yourself bodily at threats instead of—”

“Instead of what?” she snapped, angry at last; Cullen did not think he had ever heard her properly angry before, save perhaps when she’d raised her voice to him in Haven over the message from her clan. 

“Instead of allowing you to be exposed to a substance when we don’t know what it might do to you?” she said, “Instead of—watching someone I care for be beaten to a bloody pulp?”

“You are supposed to let me—”

“Let you stand between me and danger? Cullen, despite the way you’re acting right now, I am not one of your charges. Either you have faith in what you taught me or you don’t, but I won’t apologize for taking a blow meant for you, and I won’t take it back. I do this every day when I’m not at Skyhold; I know how to handle myself, no matter what you seem to think.” 

Cullen sat back in the saddle. His horse, alert to his every motion, began to slow immediately. Elowen didn’t stop; she looked at him over her shoulder when she finished speaking, and face was fixed in an uncharacteristic frown. 

“Be angry with me if you have to; I’ll be here when you’re actually  ready to talk.”

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 27)

The closer we get to the end, the more nervous I am, and maybe you are too, because things are going to go horribly awry and only suffering is to come. Fate is adamant that a specific twelve year old must die, and we really have no choice but to watch it all unfold.

In this part, we will discuss the chapters building up to the New Year's Concert, where Reo will attempt to assassinate the ESP.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Six

Ruka finds Natsume in the snow. He asks where he’s been, and Natsume responds that he went to see Mikan. Natsume imagines that Ruka will be jealous, because he feels guilty. He’d been putting his own wants first this whole night, and he hadn’t even considered Ruka.

Expectation vs. Reality. Ruka, best boy.

But Ruka is not jealous, or he’s very good at hiding it. He beams at Natsume, offering only congratulations and support. He’s happy for them, that both of their wishes came true. In fact, Ruka was also wishing for it, that Mikan and Natsume could find each other.

Natsume apologizes, because Ruka’s cheerful support only makes him feel more guilty, but he doesn’t tell him for what. He will not recount the details of the night, particularly of the many kisses shared between him and Mikan.

There’s a happy moment between Natsume and Ruka until, of course, Natsume starts coughing violently. He coughs up blood again, and when Ruka asks him if he’s okay, he’s ready to downplay it, already hiding his hand so that his best friend won’t worry. But Ruka grabs his hand and looks at the blood on the glove, and there’s a somber moment between them. Natsume tries to talk, but Ruka knows he’s just going to try and downplay it again, so he interrupts.

The best friendship in all of fiction. I stand by this forever. You can't change my mind.

Ruka has watched Natsume suffer the whole time they’ve been at the academy, even before then. He might not have had all the details, but he’s known that Natsume’s life was agony. He was helpless, and even became a burden (in his own view, not Natsume’s). He pleads with Natsume not to hide from him anymore. They’re meant to be best friends, and all Ruka has ever wanted was to be Natsume’s support system, but Natsume shut him out in the guise of protecting him. He keeps all his pain locked away and deals with it on his own.

Watching someone you love suffer and not being able to do anything about it is a tremendous pain, Ruka says. Natsume must sympathize. He will say something similar later on about Mikan’s situation.

Ruka loves Natsume. Natsume might have thought that he dragged his only friend into a bottomless pit of despair but Ruka asserts he’s never once regretted following him to the academy, not even for a second.

Ruka is confessing now. Natsume must know now that his existence is important to at least two people who love him unconditionally, but he doesn’t internalize it. Maybe he can’t. He’s too stuck in the role of martyr that straying from it would go against the very fabric of his own identity. He exists and has always existed to protect others. Protecting himself or even considering himself doesn’t align with that identity. No matter how much Mikan and Ruka plead with him to keep himself safe, he can’t abide. They’re more important than he is. He fails to see how much heartbreak and sorrow he will leave in his wake of self-destruction.

Natsume can’t internalize it. He can’t take it in and change course. It’s too late for that, in his mind. But he can tell Ruka the truth, because supporting Natsume is all Ruka wants.

He confesses too. He’s afraid. He doesn’t like thinking about the future, not even a year from now, because he’s scared he’ll be dead by then.

He says his secret fear out loud, that he won’t be able to protect her, and it’s still so heart-breaking that he still only sees his own value in how much he can protect people. He will shorten his own life to get her out of the darkness she’s ended up in. He doesn’t see worth in his existence just for the sake of living, of breathing, of smiling and laughing and crying and existing. Instead, his value is conditional. He is only so good as he is able to protect others and when he can’t anymore, then he is no longer valuable. It’s a glaring sign of a ridiculously low self-esteem.

He wants to choose life! He wants to live! Oh, this makes it worse...

But something has changed. He doesn’t want to die. He wants to live and be with her forever. He can’t be with her if he’s dead. It’s a selfish thought, and as I’ve been saying, that’s a wonderful thing. If only that selfish impulse were stronger, than maybe things wouldn’t be so doomed in the coming week. But Natsume’s ingrained martyr complex is stronger than anything, and his new flicker of selfishness doesn’t stand a chance.

Ruka promises he’ll do anything to support Natsume and Mikan’s future together. And so Natsume asks Ruka to protect Mikan if he’s no longer able to.

I personally don’t think he’s handing Mikan over here. This whole conversation’s context is specifically about protecting Mikan, and how Natsume wants only to keep her safe, even at the expense of his own life (though he’s actually more cavalier with that than he lets on, so it’s not much of an “even”, is it?). If Natsume is dead, he wants somebody he trusts to watch over her and prioritize her as he has. Who better than Ruka, who loves Mikan too and will want to keep her safe as well?

Or. You could just. Not die. Just a thought.

Natsume has never treated Mikan as an object to be won. He’s in fact made several comments about not “competing” at all. If he was able to give Mikan to Ruka, those two would be together now already and Natsume wouldn’t be the one holding Mikan’s alice stone. He is not any more capable of giving her away then he’s been before, and he’s less motivated to now than he’s ever been. Mikan is his, after all. Why would he “give her away” so soon after promising to be together forever?

He’s only concerned with Mikan’s safety and freedom here. If he dies in the pursuit of that, which he will, then someone else needs to make sure she’s safe and free. What she does with that safety and freedom is not in his or Ruka’s or anyone’s hands. I imagine Natsume, who got jealous of Mikan thinking of all her important people when making her alice stone would also get jealous at the thought of Mikan falling in love with somebody after his death. It might occur in the distant future, but it probably wouldn’t be any fun to imagine.

You may disagree with me, but I just can’t see it that way. I just don’t see it.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Seven

It’s New Year’s. Mikan’s birthday. There’s a celebration happening in the dorms, just like last year, but Natsume isn’t dressed in traditional garb to welcome the new year and feast like all the other students.

Instead, he’s waiting for Narumi in a hallway.

He wants all the information he can get, so he can get Mikan out of her cage sooner. Narumi isn’t talking, always willing to act dumb to get out of things. But Natsume knows better. He saw Narumi in the flashbacks, and knows how much Narumi loved Yuka. He would’ve done anything for her, even if it resulted in his own death. Narumi should understand how Natsume feels, then. He knows Mikan is suffering and in danger, but he can’t do anything about it. He says something to the effect that he shouldn’t even be living at this point, again reiterating that his life only has value if he’s able to protect people, particularly Mikan. If he’s unable to do that, then he might as well die. There’s really no difference, he says.

Jeez, kid, relax.

Narumi tries to point out that Natsume is dying, as if perhaps the kid is unaware of this, but Natsume grabs him and declares that he will not end up like him. Natsume seems to understand Narumi (probably more than I can! Haha) and that his life has been empty and soulless for a long time. Narumi is full of regret and has been for years, but Natsume won’t be like that. He won’t live with regret. He’ll do anything he can to save Mikan, and he’ll die without a single regret. He also claims he won’t give up on the idea of sharing a future with Mikan, and that makes the inevitable doom of their romance all the more tragic. Natsume isn’t planning on dying. He’s not imagining that he doesn’t even have a full two days left to live. He’s thinking he’ll push himself to the end of his rope, save Mikan, and then live happily ever after. It’s naive and childish and ridiculous that he really believes he can have his cake and eat it too, but he does with his whole heart.

"I want to live," is enough for me. I stopped reading after that. LET THIS KID LIVE.

Natsume tells Narumi to stop underestimating him for his age. But Narumi agrees: he doesn’t want Natsume or any of the other kids to end up like him and his generation did. He wants things to be better, for the new generation to have a happy and hopeful future to look forward to instead of surrendering to a life of misery and regret.

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine

Natsume and Ruka are something like partners-in-crime now. They both know that taking out the ESP is the only way to free Mikan. They are spying on Reo, who has come under the guise of performing for the New Year’s concert, who spills that Z wants to assassinate the ESP.

Tsubasa and Tono quickly join the conversation, although they’re somewhat unwanted.

Reo keeps talking, and now all four of them are privy to his plan. Tono scolds Natsume for trying to get involved when it’s obvious Z is already on the case. Let them do it, he says. Keep yourself safe instead of putting everything on your own shoulders. Naturally, this is Natsume we’re talking about, so no amount of logic will get into his head, but it was worth a try, Tono.

Natsume's little face here is my favorite. His little angry expressions are always the highlight of any page.

Hearing this warning, Natsume can see the sense in it. He doesn’t want to leave his fiancee alone and heart-broken by his loss (more proof that he doesn’t really believe he’ll die) tomorrow, but to his horror, Koko was reading his thoughts aloud.

Natsume is embarrassed to be put on the spot, and he didn’t want to hurt Ruka’s feelings, so he takes out his anger on Koko. Then he punishes Tsubasa for teasing him about how fast he’s going with Mikan when Tsubasa is actually just slow with Misaki. Then it’s revealed that Tsubasa did finally confess to Misaki and got the answer he wanted, which only pisses Natsume off more, inexplicably. He’d be angry either way, just because it’s Tsubasa. He probably just wants to take the focus off himself and the fact that he’s already proposed to Mikan.

Tsubasa was in fact inspired by Natsume’s commitment to protecting Mikan. He confessed because his kouhai was so determined. But he also expresses concern for Natsume’s recklessness. Protecting people is a worthwhile pursuit, but so is valuing your own life. Other people depend on him and love him, and losing would hurt. He doesn’t have to do everything on his own. Working as a team can ensure his safety and keep him living longer. They’re all on the same page, after all, so why not join forces and get it done more efficiently without Natsume being the martyr again?

Yeah, Natsume, go to therapy. Like, yesterday.

But as the group splits up, Ruka holds Natsume still. He wants to talk about what happened on Christmas, but Natsume doesn’t. He’d rather keep that to himself, not at all willing to hurt Ruka’s feelings after he’s been nothing but supportive.

But he can’t lie, and Ruka has expressed interest in hearing all the truthbombs Natsume can dish out, so he comes clean. They exchanged alice stones. It looks like it pains Natsume to admit it. He’s consumed by guilt for the role he’s played in hurting Ruka. But Ruka is still just happy for him. He again offers congratulations, and all is well until Koko announces that Natsume and Mikan kissed a lot too. Apparently, Natsume has been thinking about the kisses so often and shamelessly to the point that Koko is concerned.

Ruka gets upset, but not out of jealousy. He hits Natsume rather pathetically, adamantly demanding that he be honest and tell him everything instead of keeping secrets all the time. Ruka doesn’t care that Natsume has been “selfish” and has kissed Mikan and gotten engaged with her and met with her. He is a fan! He’s Team NatsuMikan now too! He just wants Natsume to stop lying to him, not even to spare his feelings. If Natsume can’t be honest, then Ruka can’t do his job of supporting him. Friendship is a two-way street and can’t work if the friends can’t rely on each other for help and support. Going through good and tough times together is the key to any lasting relationship, and for that to work Natsume needs to talk to him instead of holding back.

Ruka is so cute here. Absolutely adorable. I shall adopt.

Natsume apologizes and the chapter ends on a light note, with the four of them teasing each other and laughing.

But tomorrow will be a different story. Many horrible things will happen tomorrow night, and the bright future Natsume has finally allowed himself to consider will burn up and die.

Conclusion

In the Rapunzel story, the prince was blinded and forced to walk around the forest unable to look for his lost love. I imagine that's why the chapter title image for Chapter 147 has his face covered in bandages. The story of Rapunzel is a tragic one, but it ends in a happily-ever-after. The consolation we have is that the story of NatsuMikan is more like the story of Rapunzel than of Romeo and Juliet, though it certainly doesn't feel like it for the next thirty-something chapters.

I didn't reread this at all before posting because I'm really tired. Thus, I claim no ownership over any mistakes. They can't be helped.

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[marjanefan]

Inside No. 9  ‘The Stakeout’ review (includes spoilers)

Spoilers- please only read after watching the Stakeout.

Also includes spoilers for The League of Gentlemen Christmas special, Don’t look now and The Wicker Man

This is a fascinating and thought-provoking episode for several reasons.

It very deliberately plays with and subverts the tropes of police drama Thompson and Varney discuss these tropes as they bond over the episode, particularly around the portrayals of an older more knowledgeable policeman taking a younger ‘rookie’ under his wing (which is apparently the relationship that is being set up in the episode). This helps misdirect the viewer way from the true nature of the story we are watching.

The Cop Buddy genre is regularly used to explore male bonding and friendship and the codes of behaviour between men. It is particularly rare in mainstream media (particularly Hollywood films) to see explorations of men relating to and relying on each other emotionally . The cop buddy genre seems to be one genre where this is not just accepted but expected. Possibly because of this in recent years there has been a move to include knowing jokes about the latently homoerotic nature of these stories and to play up the elements of ‘bromance’ (Hot Fuzz is a good example of this). At the same time these knowing jokes end up actually affirming heteronormativity and disavowing these undercurrents by turning them into something that can be discounted as not serious and something to be laughed at. The heterosexual order is always left in place. However the Stakeout ends with an act of a violence that upends the standard endings of cop buddy movies/shows where the two male police acknowledge their friendship then move on.

The relationships between men (in particular how the power dynamics play out) is a recurrent theme in Inside No. 9 in episodes such as ‘ Tom and Gerri’, ‘The Bill’, ‘The referee’s a wxxxer’ and ‘Bernie Clifton’s Dressing Room’ amongst others. Indeed this is along with ‘Bernie Clifton’s dressing room’ almost entirely a two hander between Pemberton and Shearsmith. This episode plays out very differently indeed but in its own way examines how men relate to each other .

We see Varney and Thompson bond over the three nights of the story. The banter between them is beautifully observed with Varney trying to win over Thompson (I particularly like the use of the fortunately/unfortunately game on the first and third nights with their subtle indications of changing dynamics between Thompson and Varney).

It is even more fascinating as a vampire story (or more specifically as Adam Tandy referred to it at the BFI preview as a hidden vampire story). There are only subtle indications during the episode such as Varney’s disgust at the smell of Thompson’s curry and his knocking on the door of the car so Thompson invites him in to indicate his true nature. It is interesting to compare The Stakeout to the recent BBC adaptation of ‘Dracula’ which was co-written by Pemberton and Shearsmith’s League of Gentlemen colleague and friend Mark Gatiss. This adaptation explored and questioned the tropes around vampire stories (such as why do vampires need to be invited in and why they dislike garlic). Varney actually says ‘And I’m not a cliché, I hope’ to the audience at the beginning of the episode, almost expressing Pemberton and Shearsmith’s desire to bring something new to the telling of such stories and to entertain the audience. ‘The Stakeout’ may take an apparently more straightforward approach to these tropes but it does explore their deeper meanings in a subtle manner.

Worth noting here the name Varney was inspired by the character of Varney the vampire who appeared in Victorian ‘penny dreadfuls’. Varney actually introduced several tropes to vampire lore such as fangs and superhuman strength (both of which Varney in The Stakeout has!) but many of the tropes included in the episode came later. Varney’s name deliberate nod to the history of vampires in popular culture and possibly Varney’s use of a Victorian stiletto blade is also another nod to the character.

The viewer if they wish could read ‘The Stakeout’ as a supernatural riff on ‘Line of duty’ with Varney’s vampirism being a metaphor for corruption. Certainly it fits in with current police dramas where other members of the police are as much to be mistrusted and morally comprised as the criminals.

However Pemberton and Shearsmith are very familiar with vampire lore and the tropes of vampire stories, and more significantly with their deeper significance and psychological meanings.

It is of course not the first time Pemberton and Shearsmith have given us a vampire story. One of their most memorable and loved pieces of work is the League of Gentlemen Christmas special from 2000 which includes a vampire story concerning Herr Lipp with it’s eventual revelation that it is Herr Lipp’s wife Lotte, not Lipp himself who is the vampire.( At this point it is worth flagging up that in this story Matthew Parker mistakes Herr Lipp’s sexual interest in him for him being a vampire but Lipp actually saves Matthew from becoming a vampire because of his feeling for him).

Vampires remain a perennial obsession in popular culture, especially over the past twenty-five years. We have seen the success of Buffy the vampire slayer, The Twilight series (both films and novels), True blood (both films and novels) and the Blade series, amongst other vampire franchises in various media. These series portray vampires dealing with life in the modern world. These series portray vampires as complex characters with inner lives who are capable of emotions such as guilt and love. The young human female central figure (Buffy, Bella, Sookie) form romantic relationships with vampires (Angel and later Spike, Edward, Bill) and these stories use male vampires to explore female desire and female fears about the nature of their male lovers. Indeed, vampire stories have long been used to explore both female and male sexual desire and anxieties around sexuality. This is an important point when discussing the episode.

In the South Bank show on Pemberton and Shearsmith which was filmed during the filming of series five Steve Pemberton spoke about why he loves some of his favourite horror films specifically ‘The Wicker Man’ and ‘Don’t look now’. He spoke of how powerful he found the tragic endings of these films and the fact that evil prevails. It is worth discussing The Stakeout in relation to these films. (Please note these are very simple overviews of both films!) In both these stories two decent, if misguided men (Neil Howie in ‘The Wicker Man’, John Baxter in’ Don’t look now’) end up getting killed as a result of misinterpreting and underestimating the forces they are up against. Both men attempt to be logical in an illogical world, but fail to deal with the illogical parts of their own personalities. Both men are destroyed by their failure to address and deal with underlying desires. Howie behaves with open contempt toward the Summerisle residents and their beliefs and practices, while holding his own hard-line religious beliefs (Lord Summerisle taunts he is getting to die a martyrs death which is something that should please him). He also fails to look at his own desires and motivations for wanting to protect Rowan as a symbol of purity. Baxter tries to support his wife Laura through her grief for their daughter Christine and is troubled by her desire to contact Christine beyond the grave. He ignores his own deep grief and desire to have Christine return. Ironically he gets his wish to be reunited with her when he is killed.

Like Baxter in Don’t Look Now, Thompson fails to deal with his grief for his former partner Dobson (Malik Ibheis) in a constructive way. He also fails to properly deal with his feelings of guilt that he was absent from the car (getting food) when his partner was killed. He decides to go on a one man mission to find his killer without informing anyone, not just ignoring the actual surveillance operation he and Varney are supposed to be working on but also putting his job and as it turns out his life at risk. It could be argued Varney kills Thompson because he is the one person who shows any interest in answering questions around Dobson’s death. Thompson is reunited in the most horrendously ironic manner with Dobson in the last moments of the episode. The vampirised Dobson will feed on Thompsons blood just as Thompson’s grief and feelings of guilt have eaten away at his personality. Steve Pemberton manages to convey Thompson’s horror at the situation in his final seconds as Dobson approaches but also conveys almost a sense of acceptance and affection.

It is worth discussing here what the psychoanalyst Ernest Jones wrote about vampires in his 1931 book ‘On the nightmare’ (as an aside this book is available as a free pdf online). He argues that vampire lore speaks to the desire to be reunited with dead loved ones. He also discusses that where there was unconscious guilt associated with the relationship (as Thompson has ) these feelings may get subverted into something darker. As the Wikipedia entry for vampires puts it ‘Jones surmised in this case the original wish of a reunion may be drastically changed: desire is replaced by fear; love is replaced by sadism, and the object or loved one is replaced by an unknown entity’- this certainly fits the description of what occurs to Thompson’.

Jones also wrote about how vampire lore also is informed by sexuality and repressed sexual desires and how repression can ultimately turn them into something cruel (the oral fixation of vampire stories was also commented on by Freud)

It can also be argued that this is a story about Thompson being destroyed by his failure to acknowledge his latent homosexuality. Varney represents both Thompson’s desire for intimacy with other men and his fear of what will occur if he allows himself to become close to another man. Varney is handsome, outgoing and (apparently) courageous – all attractive qualities. Varney finally attacks and feds on Thompson only after they have gotten to know each other and he has won Thompson’s trust by apparently saving him during the shoot-out. We know from what he says early on Varney feds once a month. He could have attacked Thompson the first night of the stakeout. However he waits until the point where Thompson has bonded with him. This seems to indicate that Varney possibly needs to feel a connection to the people he feeds on. But it also is possible further evidence that Varney represents Thompson’s fear of what would happen he allows himself to open up to the possibility of a relationship with another man . Varney is only able to enter the car (symbolic of Thompson’s emotional space) and finally attack Thompson because he was invited to…

We also never discover what exactly what the relationship between Varney and Thompson’s dead partner Dobson was. But it could be assumed there was some bond as Varney chose to turn him into a vampire who will be his companion (It is a well-known trope in vampire stories that vampire chose to turn potential lovers into vampires- however Varney refers to Dobson as ‘my child’). Could it be that they were involved in a relationship? Varney turning Dobson into a vampire represents Thompson’s fear of being imitate with another man as being something unnatural and corrupting. Varney also gets to have the relationship with Dobson Thompson could not bring himself to have. Thompson makes a point of describing Dobson as a married man and father, focussing on him as a model of heterosexuality, possibly disavowing and discounting any feeling he himself had for him. But the fact Thompson is willing to go so far to get justice for Dobson and that he carries his photo around does testify to the depth of his feelings.

Varney, with his interest in veganism, healthy diet, Chai lattes, yoga (a cut scene involved Varney teaching Thompson yoga techniques to help him relax) and openness in discussing feelings represents quite a different model of masculinity to both Thompson and Dobson (Thompson mentions how different he is to Dobson who could apparently be moody). Varney tries to get Thompson to take both his physical and mental health more seriously and tries to show him useful tools to help him with this. However every single one of these suggestions actually turns out just for the purposes of helping Thompson be a better victim /feed in the end . For example as noted in the podcast (although cut from the final episode) Thompson undoes the first button of his shirt exposing his neck as a result of a relaxation technique Varney showed him. Varney’s concern about Thompson’s blood pressure and not giving himself food poisoning is more to do with insuring he will be ready to feed on him at the right time. Could Varney represent Thompson’s anxieties about men who do not necessarily conform to his view of what constitutes masculinity (and how in the end it may make men like him behind )?

The conversations about Thompson and Varney about food also indicate aspects of their character which are worth noting – particularly in light of how psychoanalysis discusses oral fixation in vampire lore. Thompson’s appetite for food which is commented on several times throughout the episode can be said to indicate several things. On one level it is ironic someone who is so concerned with feeding himself becomes food. Also as I pointed out earlier Dobson was killed while Thompson was collecting food, which exacerbates his feelings of guilt. But Thompson’s appetite for food could be said to be a way of connecting to others. He remembers his feasts with Dobson affectionately (including relating a very novel use for an empty pringles tube!) and he offers Varney food (namely his curry) as a way of getting to know him. Thompson could be seen as a comfort eater and as using food as a substitute for affection and bonding with those he cares about. Varney’s repulsion at Thompson’s curry could possibly deeper than a vampire’s dislike of garlic but because he senses it is a symbol of Thompson’s disconnect from his own feelings and desires. When Varney describes himself as a flexitarian who only feeds on meat once a month early on in the episode he is indicating he in control of his appetites and desires but also aware and willing to acknowledge them. This gives him a power which Thompson lacks and why he ultimately gets the upper hand in the relationship. In the final moments of the episode Varney instructs the now vampirised Dobson to feed on Thompson’s blood .Thompson who used food to try and connect to both his dead partner and Varney is finally gets his moment of connection with both in the most ironic way imaginable.

The moment when Varney finally reveals his true nature to Thompson and attacks him has erotic power that it occasioned a question at the BFI preview., and which Pemberton and Shearsmith discussed the homoerotic nature of the moment on their podcast about the episode It could be seen as the point where the relationship between Varney and Thompson’s relationship is finally ’consummated’. It could also be read as a metaphor for a sexual assault.

Just some final observations about the episode…

The episode is beautifully shot (at some considerable expense apparently!) by Mattias Nyberg creating both a dreamlike and disturbing atmosphere. The way both Pemberton’s and Shearsmith’s faces are lit are astonishing. Christian Henson’s (as ever) wonderful score with it’s Hungarian influence and soaring distorted strings further adds to the sense foreboding. The graveyard background is also used in a subtle manner but does help convey an foreboding mood. And of course the direction by Giullem Morales (who has directed several episodes of the show) is as usual excellent but as a director who came from a background in horror this story in particular must have appealed.

The poster for the episode places Varney and Thompson against the backdrop of barren branches which almost become a spiders web (of course we only eventually find out who the spider and fly in the relationship is).

I also have to note Pemberton and Shearsmith wrote this episode in a few days after another script was turned down. This makes the fact this is such a powerful episode with such beautifully observed dialogue and skilful seeding of the final reveal even more impressive.

This is just my own take on the episode. It is enjoyable on many levels- as a police procedural, a vampire story and a brilliantly acted two hander between Pemberton and Shearsmith and is further proof of their enormous gifts as writers and actors and their ability to transcend and enrich genres.

[eyesanddragons]

GOD YEAH! I find the Epilogues frustrating in Multiple Ways that I have Detailed in posts that involve me swearing up a storm because I can't keep my composure when concerning the Epilogues, BUT MY GOD THE KINKAJOU TRUST THING HAUNTS ME IN MY NIGHTMARES.

AND THEY REALLY DO UNDERESTIMATE HIS INTELLGENCE, WINTER IS SMART, Winter isn't just "Fight first ask questions later" he's analytical, he considers things, he's often very put together during a crisis, really the "fight first ask questions later" mindset only occurs when his friends are being threatened, and even then he doesn't put them at risk, he puts himself at risk, it's him being a MARTYR, Winter has a really strong Martyr complex but when that's not affecting his judgement he tends to be rather calm, he was calm when the fire in class happened and didn't do anything rash in fear of hurting someone, he was calm when Kinkajou got hurt and used the available information to get Kinkajou a way to get to a Doctor, he's calm during THE DIAMOND TRAIL and figures out how to get both him and Hailstorm out, he's not dumb, he's a 15 year old who believes his life his worthless and wants to protect people.

AND THE WORST PART OF THE EPILOGUES IS THAT THE WAY WINTER ACTS MAKES S E N S E, epilogue Winter is Winter, just a really subdued one, one that has taken steps back in there character progression, and that's frustrating cause the books are Trying to make it seem like it was a good thing, but Kinkajou Saying To His Face that they "trust him to be loyal" but not with INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION THAT AFFECTS HIM PERSONALLY, is a problem, They don't mean to hurt him, and Winter DOES have anger issues, and tends to be a jerk, and friends don't need to share every secret, but this isn't a personal secret it's "Oh we won't tell you what happened to the mass murderer that killed your aunt and mind controlled you." that's a problem, that's a giant problem, the books treat as "oh Winter needs to earn there trust back" but that's not what's going on here, and really it makes his friends sound like a manipulative jerks who's using Winter's trust in them for their own gain but wont give Winter anything back, like, important information on someone who killed his aunt, planned to kill his entire people, and mind controlled him. They don't owe Winter Trust but damn do they owe him information about his DEAD AUNT AND IF HIS PEOPLE ARE SAFE FROM GENOCIDE.

AND ACTUALLY GOING BACK TO THE "Trust him to be loyal" LINE, THATS EXACTLY WHAT HIS FAMILY THOUGHT, THEY KNEW THEY COULD MAKE WINTER DO ANYTHING, EVEN LET HIMSELF DIE FOR HAILSTORM, BECAUSE THEY KNEW HOW FAR WINTER IS WILLING TO GO FOR THEM, ICICLE EVEN CALLS HIM WEAK FOR THIS-

Okay let me calm down before this devolves into a screaming mess, I want to portray at least some level of professionalism on Tumblr dot com.

Anyway Winter took multiple steps back on his progression, at least that's what I think, I think Winter took a few steps back, so it's frustrating to say the least that's its portrayed as a good thing.

The Jade Winglet are teens, I expect them to make really bad mistakes, but I don't like that this is being depicted as a good thing. Because it's not, it really isn't, and it's so upsetting.

I’m sleepy but I just want to say that Turtle should get to go wild. WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR SOUL! Turtle, you’ve been mistreated and lived in fear your entire life, you are allowed to feel negative emotions. You aren’t going to murder people because you felt a bad emotion once.

On that note don’t you think it’s a Tad Messed Up that the books answer to the animus soul issue was just…making it so Turtle and Anemone couldn’t feel superior and have an ego boost, like don’t be an egoistical jerk obviously and believe your better than everyone but I feel like making it so that magically Turtle and Anemone just, can’t feel those emotions is…not a good thing, like, statically speaking I feel a normal dragon is more likely to kill you than an animus is, but also, I feel like that has an enormous butterfly effect that could mess with there entire personality, oh and also I think it’s just a Tad, Just A Tad, Messed Up to magically make these two teenagers not feel “Bad Emotions” purely cause you think there more at risk at becoming a bad person due to them.

And Also Winter is Well-Known for Hating any animus magic that alters someone’s mind in some way, I doubt he’d be okay with this, I feel like he would of said something when they were thinking about this