#both of his parents died unexpectedly within 6 month of each other what are you supposed to do with that

[letbuckfuck]

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[writerwithfluffysocks]

BB Fic Rec List

Remember to kudos, like, favorite and review! Authors love that love and support for their work!

Most of these fics are rated T or M so if you're underage or that's not your thing then these probably won't be for you. Fics are broken down into categories to make it easier and each states number of chapters, rating and word count. Enjoy!

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CANON FICS

A Dream Within a Dream by BlindAssassinUK (M, 25 chapters, 125k words)

Booth struggles to recover from his brain surgery and with Sweets' assessment that his feelings for Bones aren't real. As if this wasn't enough to keep our favourite FBI agent busy, a serial killer comes to town. Mostly written in tandem with Season 5.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5392047/1/A-Dream-Within-a-Dream

A Lotta Heart by nelliesbones (M, 10 chapters, 18k words)

"Bones, she believes in the system." Except that she didn't. Not completely. Not anymore... This is a story about a woman protecting her family. A story about the man who loves her. Spoilerfree, warm-hearted and M for a reason.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8186135/1/A-Lotta-Heart

An Aggregation of Maladjusted Companions by Jazzyproz (M, 43 chapters, 250k words)

Suffering from a declining solve rate following their returns to DC, Booth and Brennan are forced to attend a team-building convention. Neither of them think they need the workshops or exercises, but it's apparent to everyone around them that if they don't do something, the whole team will soon be falling apart. Can they fix their broken partnership?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11132403/1/An-Aggregation-of-Maladjusted-Companions

An Unexpected Outcome by BB-loverr (M, 5 chapters, 8k)

Before she could do anything Booth had her pinned. He made sure most of his weight was on his elbows so he wasn't crushing her. Someone is after Bones & Booth is protecting her. Set in early season 5

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5590619/1/An-Unexpected-Outcome

Becoming One by nelliesbones (M, 21 chapters, 83k) 

He is handsome, she is beautiful, and somewhere in between… they have made a baby. Warm-hearted and M for a reason. Slightly spoiler-y AN's, the story itself is spoilerfree.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7012130/1/Becoming-One

By Any Means Necessary by Heather Wyatt (M, 45 chapters, 433k, DARKER FIC)

When an overseas trip for Brennan leaves her in terrible danger, Booth does what is necessary to save her - even if what he is forced to do has the potential to drive her away from him forever. Set in season 5, pre-100th; Inspired by the movie "Taken".

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11549096/1/By-Any-Means-Necessary

Can You Save Her, Agent Booth? by Jazzyproz (M, 62 chapters, 464k)

Booth receives a disturbing text in the middle of the night aboout Bones - will he be able to find her in time? Or will he lose her forever? Will this guy really kill her, or is it just a bluff?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7723263/1/Can-You-Save-Her-Agent-Booth

Coitus by willgirl (M, 5 chapters, 4k)

After a date, Brennan finds herself unexpectedly at Booth's door. B&B, Rated M for Smut!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4126515/1/Coitus

First a Dream by Firstadream (M, 17 chapters, 53k)

"I don't want you to move on..." Post 5x16 story. What should've happened between Booth and Brennan.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5900783/1/First-A-Dream

For You, I’d Bleed Myself Dry by coffeehelps (M, 1 chapter, 11k)

The night that Booth took a bullet for Brennan in front of that karaoke stage was forever ingrained in Brennan's mind. Every year, on the anniversary of that night, Brennan experiences those volatile feelings all over again… and they help her realize just how much Booth means to her.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13382298/1/for-you-i-d-bleed-myself-dry

Learning to Fly by Shelly (T, 3 chapters, 8k)

It was never his intention to hurt her. And, yet, she was sitting on the edge of the tub, his bathrobe consuming her small frame, tears cascading down her cheeks. He didn't know how to fix this. Post "The End in the Beginning."

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5231358/1/Learning-to-Fly

Recklessness and Repercussions by Nothing But Bones (M, 7 chapters, 29k)

Booth overhears one of his colleagues crudely reliving an intimate rendezvous with Brennan, and his ill-conceived reaction threatens to end their partnership on a permanent basis, leaving their emotions running dangerously high.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4605409/1/Recklessness-Repercussions

This Secret Dance by ALottaHeart (M, 14 chapters, 43k)

But this secret dance, it goes on. This. This is for them, between them, and they're not ready to share that with the world. Not yet. They've waited too long. Booth/Brennan. Spoilers for 100th episode.

CASE FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6062651/1/This-Secret-Dance

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Bone of Contention by Mochi-girl (M, 15 chapters, 33k)

During a murder investigation, a man from Brennan's past returns, and spins her relationship with Booth in a new direction.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5558981/1/Bone-of-Contention

Case File 2010c by lexeb (M, 1 chapter, 40k)

Booth and Bones face their worst case to date. Will our duo catch their man? Dark themes and imagery. Note rating. Written as an episode. Most characters appear.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5789374/1/Case-File-2010C

Crimson Catastrophe by Dangereux (M, 5 chapters, 24k)

Booth and Brennan work a case that pushes them both to their limits, and into each other's arms.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5929308/1/Crimson-Catastrophe

Fear and Faith by Some1tookmyname (M, 35 chapters, 59k)

When a suspicious note is discovered in an unexpected place, Booth and Brennan fight against an unknown enemy to protect the life they've built together.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7981371/1/Fear-and-Faith

Getting Clean by blc (M, 1 chapter, 11k)

Brennan feels soiled after catching a serial killer. Booth helps her get clean again. Long Angst/Romance

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4621793/1/Getting-Clean

Hearts in Overdrive by Christi Whitson (M, 22 chapters, 136k)

After stumbling upon the suspicious deaths of two men from Brennan's past, she is determined to learn the truth about how they died. Booth and Brennan deal with the emotional fallout of their discoveries as the events of S3 unfold.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12190876/1/Hearts-in-Overdrive

The Effects of the Fan by gatewatcher (T, 1 chapter, 9k)

Someone is stalking Brennan. Will Booth be able to keep her safe? What will the effects be from his attempt?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12568373/1/The-Effects-of-the-Fan

The Gentleman in the Club by TheModernLeper (M, 11 chapters, 10k)

The team tracks a serial killer to a popular night club. With Brennan as bait, can Booth and the team keep her from becoming his next victim?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4764864/1/The-Gentleman-in-the-Club

The Remains in the Rain by forensicsfan (T, 45 chapters, 70k)

What starts out as a trip to Seattle to promote Brennan's latest book turns into much more as secrets surface in flood waters and Booth and Brennan find that a few of their own secrets surface in the process.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3934573/1/The-Remains-in-the-Rain

The Two in One in the Park by ShaViva (T, 17 chapters, 80k)

Brennan and Booth are called in to investigate the remains of two victims arranged to portray a killer's twisted vision of a romantic forever. As they close in on the culprit they find themselves closing in on each other as well. AU early season 6. B&B

AU FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6054481/1/The-Two-in-One-in-the-Park

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All My Yesterdays by cardiogod (M, 36 chapters, 134k)

Booth has been taught since early childhood that a wise man builds his house on rock, not sand, but it isn't until the ground starts shifting under him that he realizes he never learned how to tell them apart.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7801702/1/All-My-Yesterdays

Burdens Which Allow Us To Fly by Mis Chi Evous (T, 1 chapter, 9k)

An alternate universe, where Brennan's parents are both killed, and Russ is in the Army with Booth. A study in how some things are meant to be.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6290511/1/Burdens-Which-Allow-Us-To-Fly

Desert Storm by Alonzo Anonymouse (M, 12 chapters, 13k)

Operation Desert Storm: Sergeant Seeley Booth was captured and tortured. His first assignment back is to stand guard over an Anthropology professor and his grad students, sent to identify bodies. One of those students is Temperance Brennan.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6032735/1/Desert-Storm

Hostile Takeover by F.H. Blake (M, 22 chapters, 70k)

Booth is a billionaire businessman hell-bent on buying Bones' club, The Lab. Bones is hell-bent on keeping Booth as far away from her club as possible. The two worlds collide one night over too many shots, and Booth and Bones soon realise that enemies don't constantly want to rip each other's clothes off.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12538952/1/Hostile-Takeover

Killing Two Birds by dmnky (M, 34 chapters, 171k)

After six months in Maluku, Brennan is summoned to Afghanistan to identify remains from a military helicopter crash and assist Sgt. Maj. Booth in investigating the cause of it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7710873/1/Killing-Two-Birds

The Couple in the Alternate Universe by perscribo (M, 12 chapters, 22k)

Booth and Brennan are not who we know them to be. One is on the right side of the law and the other isn't. Their love story under conflicting circumstances.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12583235/1/The-Couple-in-the-Alternate-Universe

His by Athena Alexandria (T, 40 chapters, 99k)

AU. Post The Critic in the Cabernet. Booth struggles with his decision to let Brennan raise their child alone after she uses his sperm to get pregnant.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6660822/1/His

The Opportunity by BtrixMcG (M, 8 chapters, 49k)

AU: Seeley Booth is the CEO of a prominent communications company and one of the most powerful men in the industry. Temperance Brennan is a brilliant young analyst who comes into his employ and gets far more than she bargained for.

COLLEGE/HIGH SCHOOL AU FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6582371/1/The-Opportunity

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Follow You Down by ButterflyWhisperer (T, 26 chapters, 85k)

The year is 1989 and our favorite group of crime fighters meet 16 years prior to 2005. Temperance Brennan is a lonely foster kid that just moved to D.C while Seeley Booth is battling demons from his past. What happens when this unlikely pair of teenagers & their friends end up trying to solve a murder their favorite teacher was framed for? And will love blossom?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10640406/1/Follow-You-Down

Healing Two Souls by cmol8806 (M, 43 chapters, 146k)

Temperance Brennan is almost eighteen and entering her last foster home after barely surviving her last one. Seeley Booth is just returned from war, with new nightmares. What happens when they meet?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6867582/1/Healing-Two-Souls

Purak: A Less Cheesy Way of Saying You Complete Me by boothaddict77 (T, 35 chapters, 163k)

14-year-old Tempe Brennan, recently abandoned by her parents, moves into a new home with her brother and his friend. Of course, the young man they will be sharing a roof with is none other than Seeley Booth.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7764189/1/Purak-A-Less-Cheesy-Way-of-Saying-You-Complete-Me

White Knight by LordLanceahlot (M, 17 chapters, 52k)

Temperance 'I-don't-know-what-that-means' Brennan. At a fraternity party. Drinking heavily and being mauled by some punk frat boys. Booth scowled at the thought. His freaking forensics tutor. Time to go play white knight.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5785872/1/White-Knight

Beginning of Forever by JulesSC (M, 37 chapters, 301k)

Chicago, 1988. Tempe, 14 year old foster child. Seeley, 16 year old jaded junior. Can these two help each other and change each other's lives?

SMUT HEAVY FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6346762/1/Beginning-of-Forever

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Any Way She Wants It by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 7 chapters, 33k)

When Booth's prodding makes Brennan snap and reveal the extent of her frustrations, he offers to help her out. He thinks, he can handle it, but nothing is ever that simple.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6343873/1/Any-Way-She-Wants-It

Bad Excuses by Pereybere (M, 4 chapters, 7k)

Brennan and Booth are using work stress as an excuse to get naughty.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4134057/1/Bad-Excuses

Breaking All The Rules Tonight by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 25 chapters, 57k)

Brennan tells Booth she has a sex date and he doesn't take it very well. He's determined to show her why she should be his.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5303079/1/Breaking-all-the-Rules-Tonight

Silent Surrender by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 25 chapters, 27k)

Brennan shows up at Booth's house needing only one thing: him. One silent night could never be enough but it's months later and they still find themselves going crazy at night and pretending during the day. How much longer can they keep silent?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5398682/1/Silent-Surrender

Exercise in Self Restraint by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 8 chapters, 30k)

B&B are in an established relationship and Brennan has a naughty proposal for Booth which involves tons of frustration.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5617523/1/Exercise-in-Self-Restraint

Fighting Words by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 26 chapters, 71k)

Collection of one-shots. Some heated words, an argument, and tons of B/B hotness.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5448139/1/Fighting-Words

Hours by Dispatch22705 (M, 25 chapters, 47k)

A look at 24 different sexy times between Booth and Brennan. One post for every hour.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7506156/1/Hours

Colors by Dispatch22705 (M, 12 chapters, 50k)

12 separate one shots: each one based on a color idea.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5845810/1/Colors

Rooftops and Invitations by Space77 (M, 5 chapters, 17k)

You can’t stop thinking about him, you can’t stop looking at him. So do something about it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4516879/1/Rooftops-and-Invitations

Talk to Me by SSJL (M, 31 chapters, 118k)

All he wanted was a moment of honesty from her. All she wanted was to be able to give him this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3458085/1/Talk-to-Me

Morning, Nooner and Night by Dispatch22705 (M, 1 chapter, 9k)

A 'one shot' so to speak, of a few firsts between Booth and Brennan. He made love to her in the morning, had sex with her at noon and broke a few laws with her at night.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7239541/1/Morning-Nooner-and-Night

Only Between Us by sleeplessinatlanta (M, 100 chapters, 142k)

Collection of one-shots, some really short, others longer. Some funny, some angsty, some sweet. But ALL should be steamy/sexy/sweet. ALL revolving around B/B and their smoking hot dynamic.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5329849/1/Only-Between-Us

Alphabet by OrigamiFlower (M, 15 chapters, 22k)

A whole load of one shots of Booth and Brennan dedicated to the Alphabet.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6088489/1/Alphabet

Alphabet Recurrences by Dr Madness (M, 25 chapters, 51k)

The Alphabet means a lot to Booth and Brennan. It captures every single romantic, hot, steamy and dirty moment between them.

ONE-SHOT FICS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5666368/1/Alphabet-recurrences

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A Family Business by nelliesbones (M, 14 chapters, 20k)

A story of one-shots and scenes around the beautiful and highly anticipated season seven of Bones.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7449862/1/A-Family-Business

An Epic Before Bed by eitoph (T, 1 chapter, 3k)

She's written this life and she's lived this life, and now she knows which one she prefers. 4.26/6.22/6.23 and how they all fit together.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7037787/1/An-Epic-Before-Bed

Anything by CupcakeBean (M, 1 chapter, 3k)

“I’ve flown across the country, pulled strings, broken the law, risked my career, risked my life, *lost* my life - all for her." Booth and Brennan realize how much they mean to each other and give in to their attraction.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4961754/1/Anything

Don’t Mess With Booth by Aisho9 (T, 1 chapter, 2k)

Caught in the middle of someone else's battle, Brennan is hurt. The perp is in hot water enough, but now he's got a pissed off Booth to deal with, too.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5869658/1/Don-t-Mess-With-The-Booth

Ferocious Love by rhyme time (M, 1 chapter, 1k)

Booth is feeling possessive of his wife.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9789714/1/Ferocious-Love

Lies and Life by Tadpole24 (T, 1 chapter, 1k)

“I’m not this person who can’t tell if it’s reality or fantasy and I’m not this person who shows up on someone’s door step, crying at 3 am. This is something Bren would do, not something Bones would.”

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5693685/1/Lies-and-Life

Pray for George who offends Booth and Brennan by Hannah Taylor1 (M, 1 chapter, 6k)

A cautionary tale for those who would cross Booth and his lady love.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5890044/1/Pray-for-George-who-offends-Booth-and-Brennan

The Finally in the Holding by carol204 (M, 1 chapter, 5k)

Booth appears in Brennan's house on a rainy night with unresolved issues. She's pushed him too far and now they've reached their breaking point.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6630976/1/The-Finally-to-the-Holding

The Standard by RositaLG (M, 1 chapter, 1k)

"Tell me again." He said, his voice strained with anger and his jaw ticking in restraint. "Tell me that you don't need me."

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7421321/1/The-Standard

We Belong Together by Dispatch22705 (M, 1 chapter, 5k)

While Booth is away, Brennan goes to a crime scene. Booth is furious when he finds out. When he calls her on it, it's in a place he wouldn't have expected, but is all so familiar to both of them. Angsty, angry sex but with a resolved B&B ending in bed

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5846725/1/We-Belong-Together

You With Me by mia101 (M, 1 chapter, 3k)

Takes place after Booth's fight in Vegas. Brennan is tending his injuries and recalling how it felt to watch him fight, wondering what it would be like if she were the kind of woman she's been pretending to be.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4224265/1/You-With-Me

[hollandsrecs]

completed series masterlist (1)

links last checked 16/12/2020 | more masterlists here

2 hearts, 22 calibers by heyhihellowhatsup0

summary: despite discovering the new owner of the club you work at may have his own secrets hidden, the temptation to get closer to him outweighs your trepidation...

12 days of christmas by keepingupwiththeparkers

24 hour, long lasting by madmadmilk

summary: a clumsy you, a tube of long lasting lipstick, a small case of stumbling, a stain, and a boy you never imagined to meet.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

against the agenda by cosmetologynerd

summary: he was tom holland; love was not on the agenda. 

all of the lights by spiderboytherescue

always, yours by angelicholland

summary: you always knew you loved your best friend but you figured that he would never feel the same way, so you set those useless feelings aside. how will you cope when you find a box of letters that tells you otherwise? is it too late to let go of the butterflies trapped deep within you? would he even feel the same way anymore?

apartment 509 by sweetlysilent

summary: tom brings girls home almost daily, something that bothers you to the end of the world; whereas on the other hand you rarely go out, spending majority of your time focused on your studies, something that drives tom insane, the tension between the two of you becoming thicker, even more when he finds out you have a study date.

attachment by hazinhoodies

summary: maybe you held on a little too tight. you were only trying to salvage the most important relationship of your life.

beneath the waves by cosmetologynerd

summary: “please, i wish to be free.” 

black beauty by blissfulparker

summary: tom, the king of hell, has no time for love or any woman in his life. he spends his days finding new punishments for the people who deserve it. you, spend your days in heaven making everyone happy. never wanting a soul to feel down. what happens when heaven decides to send you down to join tom in hell? why would they send their best angel to the devil himself?

born king by spiderboytotherescue

breaking curfew by wazzupmrstark

summary: when you got the job to be a counsellor at the summer camp you’d grown up attending all your life, you expected to see some familiar faces. but you certainly hadn’t counted on having to work alongside the boy who had made it his life’s mission to make your life a living hell every summer. in fact, you thought you’d never have to see tom holland again. but he’s is in the cabin right across from yours with campers of his own- smirk, jawline, and all. if you didn’t know any better you might’ve thought that he applied for the position just to spite you, but who were you kidding? what kind of asshole would do something like that?

clear by peeterparkr

summary: y/n is in town for summer, she wants the sea to wash away the pains of the past, however when a certain surfer comes into her life, the remaining salt might not decant, but maybe some sweet surprises might come to shore

complications by loserparker

summary: being roommates with tom was easy, fun. that is until feelings started getting involved. throw in the fact that both of you suck at communication and things are bound to get complicated.

contrapposto by madmadmilk

summary: you desperately needed a figure model for your upcoming art final and you find a friend willing to pose for you.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

dare you to move by starksparker

summary: friends with benefits is supposed to be just that. friends with the benefits of fooling around and not having anything more than platonic feelings. easy, fun, thrilling, no one gets hurt…right?

determined by blesshimnorris

summary: you are enjoying university life with your fellow housemates, except for tom, who seems to avoid or tease you every chance he gets. but with your birthday slowly approaching he finally tries to make amends.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

dine and dash by blissfulparker

summary: tom comes into your diner every tuesday and thursday, it is no secret that he only goes for you. when will he ever be brave enough to say something, when will you ever be brave enough to let him in?

eighteen by angelicholland

summary: y/n is tom’s math tutor and needed a date for sunday dinner. tom has tattoos all over and just looks like the type of guy who would piss off her parents. will their fake relationship turn into something so much more?

eloped by worldoftom

summary: you and tom have been in a secret relationship for a long time, but what would you do if tom proposed unexpectedly during your vacation in casablanca, morocco?

every step of the way by sunshinehollandd

summary: you and tom are best friends, and you have been for as long as you can remember. after one night, everything changes. but, tom is by your side every step of the way.

ex on the beach by heyhihellowhatsup0

summary: eight months after your ugly breakup with tom, you find yourself stuck together for two whole weeks at a private beach house. just you, tom, some mutual friends, what could possibly go wrong?

for king or country by avengers-sweethearts

summary: from the time you were a child you always lived in the castle. your mother and father were both servants and even after they died you stayed on as one yourself. prince yom was always someone you admired from afar. he was the nicest out of all the holland royalty and incredibly handsome. along the way of your daily duties the prince begins to pay you more attention when you save him from an awkward situation. things get more complicated when his jealous betrothed princess zendaya comes to court and stirs up trouble for the forbidden romance. will prince tom follow his heart or stay true to his country? most importantly of all, will you even make it out alive?

forbidden rose by avengers-sweethearts

summary: if there was one person who knew how to throw a party, it was tom holland. in 1922 partying wasn’t uncommon, but a tom holland party was like none ever seen before. the young billionaire thrived off of rumors and speculation. despite the parties being held weekly, no one had ever seen the mystery man. tom intended to keep it that way until one night an enchanting woman caught his eye. but what happens when her cruel fiancé is tangled up with demons from his past. will their love be enough to overcome the trouble that lies ahead?

forever by starksparker

summary: what happens when a fuckboy with some anger issues and a bad streak is forced to work alongside someone who’s his opposite? and what happens if they can be ripped from him in seconds?

ground rules by madmadmilk

summary: you just love holding someone, and being held. It’s not a hard thing to ask for, but it sure can be hard for someone to understand.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

happiness is a butterfly by blissfulparker

summary: you and tom spend your whole lives looking for your soulmates. how could you not see that you two were right under each other’s noses both coming from a mob family?

heart eyes by madmadmilk

summary: tom holland is a friend that you only see once or twice a year, but when the stars align and you finally start to get close to him again you realize that… you’ve never really known each other at all. he has an emoji tailing after every contact on his phone… but none for you. hm. a soft and bumbling story about how you get to know him, and how he gets to know you.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

heartbreak weather by t-holland2080

summary: after getting out of a rough relationship, you meet tom, who pulls you out of your heartbreak weather.

heavenly yours by tomsrebeleyebrow

summary: angels live in a perfect world. in a complete ivory tower. but loving someone else is forbidden. a true sin.

hostility by starsholland

summary: everything was going well in your life, living in LA, trying to make it big as a journalist, but all of that is foiled when tom holland walks into your life bringing drama and negativity. how much will you be able to take before you finally lose it?

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

hotlanta by hollandorks

summary: a fun night in atlanta forces the reader into a fake relationship with celebrity tom holland in order to save both of their careers.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

how to unlove someone by whatevsholland

i only feel you by stuckonspidey

summary: a world in which soulmates feel their other half, physically and emotionally. y/n has given up on finding her soulmate, given up on trying to decipher the sensations he feels and the lifestyle he leads–prompting her to give up on him. her other half, she’d come to find, is the leader of the holland crime family, and in no means the easiest person to love.

kiss currency by madmadmilk

summary: swapping underwear with your best friend’s best friend, while maintaining your cool composure. he’s cute, he’s funny, and you’d be down to kiss him at least once. :)

chapters: 0 | 1 | 2 | 3

lacuna by thollandss

summary: being friends with benefits with a celebrity isn’t easy. nobody said it was.

limits of desire by peeterparkr

summary: you met tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize how you really feel.

london boy by tonguetiedholland

summary: you’re a famous singer and actor whose break up with ex boyfriend, shawn mendes, has just hit the media. when it all feels a bit too much you do the only reasonable thing you can think of, escape to london and lay low for a little while. who knew that tom holland, the boy you’d only met once but had you in the palm of his hand when you did and vice verse, would also be in london at the same exact time?

lucky number by tomhollanders2013

summary: what happens when one of the world’s most famous celebrities accidentally dials your number instead of his new assistant’s... is it a happy accident or a recipe for disaster?

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

miss yer kiss by angelicholland

summary: a one-night stand turned something more, you and tom meet again against the odds. an aspiring tattoo artist and a famous actor with “i miss you” on the tip of your tongues meet again and again as you slowly realize what love looks like.

model for me by thollandss

summary: in which you are a photographer for GQ, and during a private session with tom holland, you find yourself getting to know him very well.

money can’t buy you love by hilllsnholland

summary: y/n has worked her whole life to get into the prestige university of her dreams. nothing can stop her, right? maybe tom holland, son of billionaires and the poster child of privilege, who has made it his mission to woo the ‘scholarship baby’.

more than i know by lauras-collection

summary: you need a date for your sister’s wedding and the stranger in the coffee shop seems to be the perfect choice. until you see pictures of yourself and him all over the internet because apparently he’s an international movie star and now the whole world thinks you’re dating. and you have to give the people what they want, right? even if it’s fake.

naughty or nice by avengers-sweethearts

summary: the holidays are the worst time to be alone, especially in a brand new city with a brand new job. when an unexpected meeting with famous actor tom holland ends in the exchanging of phone numbers you find yourself in the dangerous position of falling in love with hollywood’s hottest and most eligible bachelor. unable to help yourself, you being to fall for the handsome actor and will do almost anything to earn his affection. trying to balance work, love, and the holiday proves to be more of a challenge than you had initially thought. the million-dollar question is what side of tom’s christmas list will you end up on: naughty or nice?

of broken promises and heartbreak by softspiderling

summary: it’s been six years since you and tom broke up, six years since you’ve last seen each other. a lot has happened, tom got insanely famous, making countless billion dollar movies, attending one red-carpet event after the other. but now he was attending one event, he wasn’t sure he was ready for. your wedding. and he wasn’t attending as your groom.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

paint the grass green by lauras-collection

summary: a complicated relationship ends when tom breaks up with you after a fight. but it’s about to get more complicated. because how are you going to tell him that you’re pregnant if he won’t let you talk to him? so you don’t. years later you run into harrison, and there’s no denying that it’s tom’s son who’s tightly holding onto your hand. harrison gives you an ultimatum: either you tell tom, or he will.

peppermint by hollandandi

perfidy by peeterparkr

summary: tom and you have been sworn enemies since you were young. however you happened to be best friends with the twins. when one of your friends challenged you to break tom’s heart, you immediately accepted to get back at him for all the times he’s hurt you. old feelings might come back, while both of you try to go past your pride and your lies.

philanthropy by museinmind

summary: things seemed to be going too well in your life when you became your sorority’s president. so of course something has to go sideways somehow, and you end up having to take a chemistry class if you want to graduate next year. so what better person to tutor you than tom, the frat ultra hot boy who hides the fact he has textbooks nearly memorized?

pinky promises by sunshinehollandd

summary: being a single dad to a four-year-old isn’t easy, but tom figures out a way to make it work with the help of his best friend.

season of reunions by unbelievableholland

summary: you were adopted by 2 mysterious agents. you knew you were adopted and you never thought about your original family. being content with the life your parents gave you, why would you? that was, until your parents are killed and you’re left to fend for yourself and with a lot of questions unanswered.

seeing the thing by angelicholland

summary: you’re stage-managing your school’s spring show, almost, maine when you’re taken out of your element by a cocky boy with a dazzling smile and a way to your heart that makes you hate him before you can see the thing.

sincerely, by whatevsholland

summary: you and tom were childhood best friends. but when he started dating the girl who got everything you ever wanted, it began a falling out between you and tom. now he’s back home in london, just in time for your sister to host her engagement party.

single all the way by heyhihellowhatsup0

summary: when tom finds out he has to go home for christmas, he decides to formulate plan so he doesn’t have to run into his ex alone. you.

soulmate by spiderboytotherescue

summary: sometimes finding your soulmate doesn’t always happen where you expect it too. and sometimes, you’re just not ready to fall head over heels in love just yet.

sweetener by keepingupwiththeparkers

summary: okay, so maybe lecture hall proximity and roast calibre weren’t the only reasons for your frequent visits to this particular coffee shop. maybe there was a certain brown eyed brunette who worked there, and maybe he always gave you two stamps on your loyalty card instead of one, and maybe you liked watching his back muscles shift under his stupidly tight t-shirt while he pumped sweet vanilla syrup into your cup. maybe.

take me out by angelicholland

summary: you killed people, people who deserved it, but you killed people and that was your reality. killing is a job for one person. add another and it gets messy. things don’t happen by chance, not in your line of work. you held people’s lives in your hands and made the active decision to end them. what happens when you team up with a gorgeous man with a charming british accent to take out a prolific user of a sex trafficking website? but it was not by chance that you fell in love with him, it was the worst decision you could’ve ever made.

the fame game by duskholland

summary: there’s just something about tom holland that makes your blood boil. he walks around like he owns the world, always with an unhelpful quip or irritating smirk on hand. you can’t stand him, and your feud has burned hard and bright for three years. everything changes following an explosive evening at the oscars, when a questionable encounter with the paparazzi lands you in some hot water with PR. the only way to save your shattered public image is to agree to the unthinkable: tom will be your boyfriend, and you will be his girlfriend - and this might just be your hardest performance to date.

the jar series by libertybarnes

summary: tom holland, notorious mob boss, meets a single mother and her bubbly child and has to learn to live life with something to lose.

the king by sadchappuccino

summary: y/n is an angel who fell from heaven, tom is the king of hell. will they put that aside and fall in love?

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

the missing piece by avengers-sweethearts

summary: when you graduated with an elementary education degree you were lost. you thought you wanted to be a teacher but you weren’t entirely sure if it would make you happy. as you’re in between jobs, you’re lucky enough to stumble upon the opportunity to be a nanny for the very rich and very handsome single father, tom holland. tom is busy running a company and he doesn’t want his daughter ella to be alone or sent to a daycare. things get crazy when you move in with the little family. between some secrets about alla and the undeniable attraction between you and tom you’re not sure what your role is to this family. do you keep it professional or do you risk it all and take the chance of falling for tom? only time will tell if you’re the missing piece.

the situationship by fairytelling

summary: a cup of tea can solve just about any problem. except, it can’t solve your confusing, headache-inducing ‘situationship’ with your university flatmate, tom holland.

to new beginnings by petersshirts

summary: it’s time to settle down and when your best friend asks you to have a child with him, how could you say no?

two lies and a truth by lauras-collection

summary: you wanted a fresh start. and uni seemed like the perfect opportunity. until you bump into tom. he says he’s sorry for everything he’s done to you. but can you trust him?

untitled by marvelbws

summary: suits, smirks, and a major sex appeal.

vlogs by spideyyeet

summary: being in the vlog squad was dope af but having david dobrik run into tom holland and getting him to surprise you was a whole other thing. now let’s see what’s it like to have tom meet the vlog squad and be with the girl that’s making him rethink some decisions.

we’re only kidding ourselves by wazzupmrstark

summary: you work as a production assistant for the spider-man: far from home crew, or rather as tom holland’s handler. the two of you don’t get along very well to say the least, but you won’t quit and he can’t fire you so you’re stuck with each other.

wicked games by captainmarvels

summary: in which tom holland, overwhelmed by his personal demons, seeks comfort in the only ways he knows how; spending money and rough fucking. the hotheaded ceo with major daddy issues can’t seem to get it quite right when it comes to you, but is there hope for his heart?

with love, tom by thollandss

summary: when an envelope addressed to tom makes its way into your mailbox, you realize he has enlisted in the army. your walls begin to crumble down at the idea of him leaving you like this. alone for eight weeks. he makes a promise to you, a promise that every week he is gone, he will send you an update letter... but soon enough, you start to not receive them.

yellow roses by grussell63

summary: tom’s mother has him participate in a bachelor-like dating competition, because she is tired of him sleeping around. furthermore she decides to bring in his best friend to spy on the contestants. is tom going to find the one amongst the 12 candidates or is he just going to play his little games?

chapters: 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | EPILOGUE

[ladyartemesia]

▨ Lady Artemesia’s Milestone Message and Milestone  Fic Preview ▨

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Dear Mutuals and Followers,

When I started this blog nearly six months ago(ish?) I never expected to fall so in love with the lovely people in this community. You have been wonderful and supportive and I have truly enjoyed getting to know you, and talking to you, and loving BTS proudly alongside of you. Thank you for every moment, I have so many truly incredible moots - ALL of whom are SIGNIFICANTLY cooler than I am - and if I attempted to list you all, my perpetually scattered brain would no doubt forget someone and I’d have to fall apart dramatically about it. So...to all of you - thank you for following me. I am so bloomin thrilled that you do. To my amazing mutuals - each and every one of you are brilliant creators and supportive members of our community and I benefit every day from the art and positive energy you bring to my dash. Thank you so much...

to my hearts... 

There are a few of you who have been much closer than others and you I must recognize with only these inadequate words...

I utterly adore you. Thank you for being my friend.

▨ Amazing Ana @xjoonchildx​  ▨ Wonderful Lindy @ppersonna​ ▨ Sweet Sunshine Donna @taetaewonderland​ ▨ My First Friend and Angel Jahni @glossyfever​  ▨ Fabulous Lemon @lemonjoonah​ ▨  and my fellow Thirst Queen Reese (there is a line in this fic I wrote just for you - you’ll prolly know right away) @luxekook​ ▨

Honestly there are many more names I could put on this list, Many more people I have grown close to and I will continue to grow close too - believe me when I say - I luv and appreciate you all, but there are 7 members of BTS and these 6 ladies are - in many ways - my “other 6.” The roles they have played in my growth as a writer and a creator have been significant. They read my work, encourage me, hype me up, share my finished products, and - most importantly - share their friendship. I am blessed to be a part of their world.

Thank You All... My Lovlies...

- Viola

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Heart of the Storm

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• FIC PREVIEW •

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Genre: Fluff • Smut • Hint of Angst • Secret Feelings/Strangers to Lovers

Word Count: 4kish (preview 1kish)

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort • Hints of Classism • JK is Soft and Strong (full fic has more warnings)

Rating: Explicit/18+ (for the full fic)

Summary: Jeon Jungkook is the handsome RA that you could never quite bring yourself to talk to, and you are the ice princess whose status kept you far out of his reach... But a selfless act of kindness in the midst of a terrible storm forges an unexpected bond between you - one that could break your guarded heart... or finally set it free. 

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This is the song JK sings...

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You’re afraid of storms. 

Born to privilege (at least so you’ve been told), but money could not buy the love of absent parents, nor could it purchase any sort of freedom from the kind of fear that gripped you now. 

You shouldn’t even be here...

Alone in a dorm while everyone around you caught planes and trains and buses back to their diverse points of origin. 

The girl who usually slept in the bed across from yours is your roommate and  best friend since sophomore year of high school. She was a scholarship case at the elite private prep where the obscenely wealthy dynasties of Southern California sent their entitled spawn. 

A lone pair of Chuck Taylors in a sea of Jimmy Choos.

And a breath of fresh air.

Her father worked in stores; your father owned them. Yet you had become sisters in the truest sense of the word.  

When the storms came, she climbed into your bed and held you till the thunder died down. 

But she and the comfort of her familiar embrace were 30,000 feet above you now; well on the way to celebrate the spring holidays with her chaotic tribe. 

You could have escaped for the week - like the majority of your peers - but your father was on vacation with his new wife (who graduated from high school a mere four years before you did) and the dorms were infinitely more inviting than the sterile halls of your family’s real estate holdings. 

So here you were. 

Alone in a storm.

Or so you thought...

Being an RA looked good on resumes and paid better than most work study jobs, but for Jeon Jungkook, the obligation to stay in the dorms over spring break (when he could be chasing music festivals along the California coast) was a definite downside. 

He heard the sobs on his way up from the laundry and dropped the basket of clean clothes on the stairs. 

Only one person signed up to stay over the holidays - the only person who managed to spark shivers down his spine without effort or awareness. 

The princess. 

That’s what they called you when they thought you weren’t listening - an unoriginal label laced with jealousy and petty bitterness. 

But it fit you, nonetheless. 

Elegant even when you were clumsy. Distant even in a crowd. Reserved in ways that spoke of intensive social training and endless expectations. 

And you were screaming. 

His hand wrapped around your doorknob in a matter of seconds, but you could not hear him calling out to you over the thunder and the ringing in your ears. 

You did not hear the lock splinter when he slammed his body against the frame like his father taught him to do in case of a fire or an emergency.

Jungkook saw you often in and out of the dorms - yet you never really spoke to him, never offered him more than the occasional pleasantry or disinterested smile. 

He was out of your orbit and you were out of his league. 

But the princess was nowhere in sight now...

Now you were just a terrified girl curled up on her bed and Jungkook felt his heart wrench painfully at the sight of you so untethered. 

You could not see him - even though he stood right in front of you. It wasn’t till his hands connected with your shoulders that you finally registered the presence of another human being and slowly brought your eyes up to meet his.

There was a moment of silence as your gazes melded together in a strange intimate haze unlike anything either of you had encountered before. 

Then you reached out - curling your hand into the loose fabric of his shirt as you yanked him down on top of you. 

“Please,” you whispered into the firm plane of his chest, “please hold me.”

Strong muscled arms wrapped around you.

And for the first time in so very long...

You felt safe.

He smelled like fresh laundry and a hint of vanilla.

But oh...

He felt like home.

Not the many houses you grew up in - but a home. The kind you only ever heard of.

“It’s ok,” he whispered, lips pressed intimately to the sweet softness of your hair, “I’ve got you.” 

Thunder shook the room again and you burrowed impossibly closer to him, too frightened to notice that you wore only a t-shirt and nothing else, too terrified to care that the haven you sought was the beautiful man you passed by countless times in last few months, but could never quite work up the courage to speak to. 

Now your body tangled desperately with his, drawing immeasurable comfort from his solid warmth and the soothing circles he traced over your back. 

Jungkook was profoundly aware of both your state of undress and the soft curves of your body pressed insistently against his own, but that awareness paled in comparison to the fierce wave of protectiveness swelling up within him. 

You were no damsel in distress. You were brilliant, beautiful, and president of the self-defense club. He’d seen you flip a linebacker over your shoulder like a pancake during a demonstration once (which had given him an immediate boner for reasons he deliberately never explored).

But right now - right here - in this moment - you needed him... and holding you close - keeping you safe was the only thing on his mind. 

The tremors came and went sporadically as the storm raged on around you. His arms were an anchor each time the fear threatened to sweep you away. 

It took a few minutes for your scattered senses to identify the new sound braiding hypnotically in between the rolls of thunder and the rhythmic cadence of your own breathing. 

Jeon Jungkook was singing to you. 

Another time it might have amused you to consider that a man whose face and form bordered on sinful possessed a voice that was utterly angelic. The notes he sang curled through the air, piercing effortlessly past the fog to wrap over your heart like a warm blanket. 

“I see you getting sad... I see it running through your blood...”

Your muscles began to relax. The pounding in your chest began to slow. 

“Let it run like water out of mud...”

Your breathing gradually evened out.

“Yell the sadness loud... Throw it up against the wall...”

Sensation crept back into your limbs. Awareness returned. 

“See what stays then go and put it on... It keeps you warm…”

And suddenly you were in his arms - truly in his arms for the first time that night. 

“I will love you anyway with all your demons in the way… Nothing can keep us apart...I walk through walls into your heart…”

His warmth was everywhere. The gentle comfort he brushed over your skin swirled around you till the sound of the storm faded away. 

Till there was only him. 

“I don’t mind… I don’t mind… I don’t ...mind…”

He felt the change in you, the incremental return from disconnected terror to tentative presence of mind, but you made no move to disentangle yourself, content to let his touch and his voice chase away the last trace of your nightmare. 

You would stay in this moment - safe and surrounded and so unexpectedly content - forever if you could. 

Jeon Jungkook had found you adrift and pulled you back from the edge. He’d done what no one else could..

What no one else (save your best friend) had even bothered to try.  

And he’d done it selflessly.  

As a corporate princess, you were worth millions in assets, but so often left begging for pittance when it came to genuine care. 

You would have paid millions to be held like this just once. 

The adrenaline raging through your body finally began to dissipate, and in its immediate wake, exhaustion crashed over you heavy and hard. 

Sleep tugged insistently at the corners of your mind, but one last coherent urge burned so brightly that it could not be ignored or overtaken. 

Your fingers twisted into the thick curls at the nape of his neck, drawing him down till you felt the soft press of his lips against your own. 

You had never kissed like this; intimately - languidly - as if the brush of his mouth against yours was familiar across worlds and lifetimes. The small intake breath before he gave in to your gentle exploration was the loveliest sound you had ever heard. 

He was the song that drew you - not like a siren to your doom - but like a lighthouse to the shore. 

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FULL FIC POSTING TUESDAY 6/30

COMMENT ON THIS POST IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST

Ask My Muse: Have a question for the characters in this work? Send it to my ask box and hear their side of the story.

Endnote: Please let me know what you think so far? Theories? Ideas? Anything really... Feedback is really the only compensation I will ever receive for producing this content. I swear I treasure each word like the gold. 

Masterlist: I got more where that came from...

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[rowankingsleyy]

Like this if you want to plot with Rowan and I’ll come ramble

NAME: ROWAN JESSAMINE KINGSLEY

NICKNAMES: Ro, Winnie (close friends only)

AGE: 28

PRONOUNS: She/Her

OCCUPATION: Published Author/Freelance Baker

HEIGHT: 5′1

BIRTHDAY: May 11th, 1992

ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

PARENTS: Cassandra and Tony Kingsley

SIBLINGS: Damien Kingsley

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

MBTI: ISFJ

MORE UNDER THE READ MORE =)

TW: domestic violence, sexual assault, anxiety, eating disorders, mention of death, illness, drugs

SEQUENCE OF EVENTS

Rowan was born to Cassandra and Tony Kingsley in the early summer of 1992, at which point things were already strained between the two-some because of Tony’s alcohol problem and Cassie’s generally meek personality.

Rowan’s brother took a leading role in her care from a very young age, not just because her dad was useless, but also because their mother was so distracted by her need to please Tony that she dropped the ball often.

Both her brother and her saw things they certainly shouldn’t have, were told things that no children should be told, and occasionally went without for no reason other than Tony liking control, but he never hurt them physically.  However, he did hurt their mother.  

Less than a year after her brother turned 18 and moved out of the house, their mother died of an aneurysm suddenly and unexpectedly.

Despite how Rowan’s father treated her mother, the loss of her broke him and send him on a 3 month bender that only ended because he was booked with vehicular manslaughter and his 3rd DWI.

Luckily, Rowan only spent a few weeks in foster care before the court allowed her brother to assume custody over her.

From the moment her brother joined, the Valencia became her family.  The women, wives and daughters of the organization were the people who taught her everything she knows about being a girl, doing make up, doing her hair, navigating boys.  (This is probably why she went through a blue eyeshadow phase at 17)

Rowan is a textbook overachiever and perfectionist, she always had all As, was always in 6 clubs, and held officer positions in every single one including the dance team.  While she did hold officer positions, she never really was one to take front and center--she prefers the positions of the people behind the scenes keeping things together.  (secretary, treasurer, anything that has to do with organizational skills.

While over her high school years she wrote a lot, and even published one of her short stories in a local newspaper, she didn’t write her first full novel until she went away to college at 18.  No one ever read that novel, it hit the trash during its 5th round of editing.

At 18 she received a full scholarship to the University of Nevada--Reno and left Red Ridge for the first time to go to school first time.  She lived in the dorms all 4.5 years and graduated with a degree in English, minoring in Psychology.

If you ever ask Rowan what she’s afraid of, she’ll tell you losing control again.  She notes two prominent times of completely losing control over her life, one fairly recent, and the other while she was away at college.  While she was away, she went out fairly often with her friends and one night someone slipped something into her drink.  Nothing happened, she made it home without incident, but the way it made her feel, the way she felt victimized or the potential of being so set her off.  She had two drop three of her classes and extend her time in college an extra semester because of how hard she spun out, trying to control things that she wouldn’t typically even think about.  She started her senior year 20 pounds lighter with 0% of the friends she had started her Junior year with.

While she was away at college her brother became a father, which meant frequent trips home to visit and help out with her niece who quickly meant enough to her to be her own.    

She returned home from school at 23 and worked in a bakery until she could live off of her cookie business (at 25 her cookie business was self sufficient).  

While she was growing her bakery cookie business, she began writing her first professional novel and completed it at 26.  She sold it that very same year, and published it at 27.

While it changed her life or the better and got her foot in the door with the publishing world, publishing her book also led to the the single most traumatizing thing she has ever experienced.  

While she was marketing her book, the marketing manager became very demanding of Rowan and her time, which often led to them being together very late at night.  One night, while out of town for a book reading, he pushed himself on Rowan.  This assault led to the second occurrence of Rowan losing complete control and her life suffering because of it.

After the assault, Rowan threatened to blow the whistle, and in return he threatened her career so she is still with that publishing company with him as her marketing manager.  

As of now, Rowan is in the process of getting her second book published, filling in as mom as best she can for her niece, running her cookie business and holding cookie classes, and trying to make amends for the bonds she broke when she spun out last.

TENDENCIES

Because of how contentious Rowan’s early childhood was, she has a pretty anxious mind that is always running on 100.  Her thoughts come a mile a minute and they can be pretty difficult to stop.  Melatonin is her best friend.  

When she loses control over things in her life (hELLO we meet again control-less childhood) she controls everything she can, and that manifests differently every time.  Controlling what she eats to the point of malnourishment, controlling every single word of what she’s writing, putting herself on lockdown until whatever she’s working on is      p e r f e c t.  

She fixates on her mistakes, in high school if she answered to the wrong name during roll she would be thinking about it for the rest of the day.

She bakes in excess when she’s trying to think through something, the measurements and muscle memory movements help calm her brain into being able to process whatever is on her mind.

She’s always been a writer, from the very first time she had to write in her 4th grade ELA class.  That only grew through Middle and High School creative writing classes.  She’s always loved exploring the stories and that it was something that she could perfect through six or seven round of editing.

Sticky notes cover her bedroom walls because of how quickly her thoughts come and go, her ideas for books do NOT come in order and she can often be found starring at her walls with her little scribbles trying to figure out what order they should go in.

For someone who would be considered the ‘bright & shiny’ type, she has a thing for researching and watching shows about serial killers.  She can rattle off facts like its her day job.  

Because of how quiet she can be, sometimes folks assume she’s innocent or that she doesn’t know anything, but in reality the opposite is true.  She’s spent so much time watching and analyzing everyone and everything that she knows much more that she lets on or that any civilian should.

She learned how to play guitar in college (not very well) and is a pretty damn good singer, but she’d never be the type to want to be front and center in front of a crowd.  She mostly uses these talents as a means to an end in writing mini stories with lyrics.  It appeases her in the in between period of having finished a book and being able to start a new one.

All floral, all the time.  Enough said.

GENUINELY afraid of birds and giant frogs

I’ll probably add to this it’s 1am and I’m tired.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

**ex boyfriend, who she really fucked up with.  message for more**

high school friends/enemies

someone who works in the bakery with her

women who influenced her growing up within Valencia

Valencia members who are like family

someone who mentored her in her baking

friends she lost when she spun out during college

literally anything

ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS

wherever i go, you bring me home Damien Kingsley// her brother.  her parent.  rowan is extremely close to her brother, as kids they were all each other had.  he’s done everything he could to give her a normal childhood, to make up for her parents’ lapses.  she would do just about anything for him or his daughter.  

can't stop staring, at those oceans eyes, burning cities, and napalm skies. fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes Lev Yegorov// no title.  but he’s the only man who has ever quieted her brain long enough for her to both lose her breath and catch it.  they’ve kissed a few times and have something comparable to a magnetic field between them, but lev broke it off out of respect for her brother.

i'll stand up with you forever, i'll be there for you through it all Natalie Cassadaga// her sister.  they may not have grown up together, they bonded to an extent that would have been unfathomable had she not experienced it.  barring childhood, they’re sisters, no buts.

i’m a mess, i’m a loser, i’m a hater, i’m a user Freddie Dawson// her confidant.  this is the only person outside of nat who gets to see rowan admit to being a mess.  freddie gets the 100% honest version of rowan, usually with a little bit of liquid courage.

you can leave me in the dark if that's all I get from you ??????? OPEN // her ex.  they dated in secret for 8 months before her assault.  when she spun out after the assault, she didn’t tell him and she pushed him away.  she fucked up the relationship, but she’s a little bitter about how easily he gave up on her.  

'cause they’re gonna tell you all the rules to break, to take away that light OPEN // her roommate.  the boldness to rowan’s softness.  how different they are makes them work, they bring balance to each other (and rationalize the one another when they go too far).  

If you’ve made it this far, you deserve a baby Rowan picture, here.

[twelvehumss]

Lifetime

My name is Shaina some call me cheng and some call me yours, char!! I am a 17-year-old girl living in Manila, Philippines. I was born and raised in the City of San Fernando Pampanga, my parents are both from Pampanga but decided to move to Manila to start a business. I am currently in grade 12 but still undecided about the program I’m getting for college. I personally want to be a businesswoman but my brain says...meh. I believe that education is a big advantage for your future but it is not the main deal for you to learn and grow the real essence of life. I look up to my father the most for being successful yet so humble despite not having a degree and for only being a high school graduate. He teaches me and guides me on the big decisions I have to make.

My dad was born in Pampanga while my mom was born in Novaliches. According to my mom, they moved to Pampanga from Novaliches when she was about 8 years old. While my dad had to move every year since his parents were separated, My childhood is very much nostalgic for me since it is one of the best memories I ever had, I grew up being with my cousins and being taken care of by my grandparents. I would say I am the type of person who loves her grandparents very much and would turn back time to the days where life wasn’t stressful, my cousins are who I consider as my best friends since most of us are girls and we were taken care of by the same grandparents. My childhood is pretty much normal and happy until 2010 where my oldest cousin committed suicide. A lot of us noticed that since he died the fun times from our family stopped going and problems and complications started growing, may also be from growth since we’re not kids anymore and we became involved in grown-up talks.

I am very grateful for the life I have right now although it may be full of downs. I am proud of myself for taking it maturely and getting to be strong each and every day. My parents are the most influential person in raising me since they have been by my side ever since and they are the ones who raised me to be the person I am today. I am not a bright student academically, but I am thankful for my parents and friend for supporting me nonstop. My absolute best friend from middle school would be this one girl who never changed even though she had to move to another school when we were in grade 6, last month I was at the mall with some friends and I unexpectedly saw her with her boyfriend. At first, she was very shocked but when she talked to us you would really know that nothing changed.

I am currently in high school and I go to Philippine Cultural College, the most important thing to me in high school would be the friendship I built with my friends/ best of friends and close friends. They made me strong and kept going even if sometimes life doesn’t feel right.  I would say I am in different types of groups because there are people I get to be within the classroom and outside the classroom. The first group would be the longest group I’ve ever been since and we started becoming a group since gr.7, we’re 8 girls in the group which you may already have an idea what type of group we are. The second group I am is  called siniGANG. We started in gr.10 because they have been the ones we have been there for me since most of my OG friends are busy – in their extra-curricular activities and also because some may have fallen out of the group for personal reasons. Personally, If I could go back to high school I would take my grades seriously so that some people would have taken me seriously too and understand that I am not just a student who fools around and omits her responsibilities.

I don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook since a lot of social media platforms have risen. I don’t think my social life is improved by my time investment in Facebook. No, I don’t think the “face” I present on Facebook reflects my true self. As a teenage girl, I would love to travel across the world, that’s why if it’s possible for someone to hand me a diploma today, I would go out of the country and spend time with myself exploring the beauty the world has and come back with better and more positive perspectives in life and start helping my dad in our family business. Or if ever I would get a chance to win on a lottery I would save up some for my future family, donate most to charity and still continue on going on with my life like I never even won the lottery, because I am a type of person who doesn’t want to feel different in what normal is to others. Recently I learned to appreciate hanging out with myself and taking care of myself more which is what I do most in my free time. But if I had more free time I would go home to my hometown and spend most of my time with my grandmother and make most of her time in this world doing the things she wants to do and make her strong enough for the people around her.

Life is very short and way too fun to waste, as a 17-year-old girl I have insecurities and questions that always make me wonder why this life is given to me. I kept in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it's one of those things that will forever be subjective, although you may not realize it, to someone else you are the most beautiful soul in the world. No one has the ability to appeal to everyone, stop trying so hard to get everyone else to like you, and make sure that you actually like yourself. I tell myself little affirmations everyday such as ‘I am enough’ and ‘I am loved’. You essentially just gotta fake it til you make it because eventually those words will become true. Self love is an ongoing process but I know I’ll get there.

-chocovanillaswirl

[casuallydeliciousphilosopher]

Tagged by @ships-sailing-in-the-night :D 

rules: answer these 85 statements (god damn, what is this a tumblr exam?!?!?) about yourself, then tag 20 peoples

I tag: @theleafpile @kanshou87 @m0urningd0ves @adastratostar and anyone else who wants to do it becasue I’ve already annoyed too many people by tagging them lol. 

last

1. drink - green tea w/ honey

2. phone call - my boyfriend

3. text message - to my beta reader is also an awesome friend <3

4. song you listened to - Never Be The Same is playing on the radio as I type this. 

5. time you cried - oh god...like two days ago I think??? I get really emotional over little shit when I’m sleep deprived.

6. dated someone twice - I’ve never broken up with someone and gotten back into a relationship with them again...but I have broken up with someone before and then went back for a one night stand because the sex was really good...so does that count??? Idk. 

7. kissed someone & regretted it - I’ve never regretted it

8. been cheated on - Sit down, it’s storytime! My first boyfriend texted me before one of our dates once and said he head the flu so he couldn’t go out. Me, being the wonderful partner I am, decided to go to the store and buy some chicken noodle soup, and ginger ale, and cold medicine and visit him. So I get to his place, nobody answers the door so I use the hide-a-key (we’d been going out for about 6 months so I knew where to find that shit). So I’m walking upstairs and I can hear people fucking, like hardcore fucking *faster, harder, choke me daddy* that kinda shit. And I just kinda pause on the staircase and think to myself OH HELL NO!!! So I rush up to his room, throw the door open, and low and behold he’s fucking some blonde bimbo and he looks over and we make eye contact and I can see the oh shit look on his face. So I screamed something like you whore fucking bastard and threw the bag of groceries I’d gotten at him and the hot soup container broke open and splashed all over him and his side hoe and the last thing I heard as I stomped back downstairs to leave was his frantic voice yelling oh god it’s on my dick! Needless to say, I never responded to his texts after that. 

9. lost someone special - too many people. But recently I lost my grandfather earlier this month on super bowl Sunday, my whole family was there when he unexpectedly died on us. And back in October of last year, I lost a close cousin in a mass shooting, and it’s really hard to heal from that because every fucking time I turn on the TV I see that another shooting has happened. So...

10. been depressed - all the time??? Like...why do you think I’m almost never sober????

11. gotten drunk & thrown up - I drink a little too much too frequently to be honest, but I’ve never thrown up because I was drunk.

fave colors

12. dark bright blue

13. candy apple red

14. fresh grass green

the last year have you…

15. made new friends - What are friends??? I’ve made new acquaintances, and I’ve made a few online friends if those count.

16. fallen out of love - Not within the last year.

17. laughed until you cried - Yes. The last time was back during Christmas when my boyfriend was doing some stupid shit while badly singing along to some weird song that screamed snow every other second.

18. found out someone was talking about you - People talk shit, I don’t bother to keep up with it. 

19. met someone who changed you - I’ve met a lot of people who changed me, but not within the last year. 

20. found out who your friends are - I have no friends???

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Haha! Does my boyfriend count??? Cuz otherwise it’s a hard no.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in irl - Almost all of them, but they’re really only acquaintances/family members. 

23. do you have any pets - my boyfriend just surprised me with a puppy this last weekend as a belated valentines day gift. She’s perfect and I love her. Say hi to Korra, she’s a husky.

24. do you want to change your name - Yes. I want to change it to a “guys” name because gender discrimination in any STEM field is a legit thing. Also I don’t really like my given name. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - I went to Vegas and the Grand Canyon with my boyfriend (because our birthdays are only 3 days apart so we always combine them into one celebration). Gambling, drinking, debauchery in general and then a nice relaxing weekend of hiking and sightseeing. It was pretty awesome. 

26. what time did you wake up today - 6:00am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - the sweet embrace of death??? Idk. 

29. what are you listening to right now - a local radio station

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes! Tom was the name of the first guy I ever danced with. He was super cute, also we were both named “most likely to succeed” for our senior yearbook (Lol who the fuck picked me for that???) so we talked a little bit then when we were waiting for our photoshoot. He’s super cool. He’s an engineer at Tesla now...and here I am...wtf am I doing with my life????

31. something that’s getting on your nerves - trying to potty train the new puppy. Lord give me strength!

32. most visited website - Oh sweet fucking Jesus...please don’t do this to me...You don’t want to know my search history...But, I just pulled up a new tab on my phone and my top three are (unfortunately) PornHub, AO3, and my College Login Page...I’m gonna go hide now...

33. hair color - Brunette

34. long or short hair - Medium. It’s mid-back length. Maybe that’s long??? Idk.

35. do you have a crush on someone - my boyfriend and many fictional characters.

36. what do you like about yourself - Nothing??? There’s not a whole lot to like???

37. want any piercings? - I have all the peircings I want. I want more tattoos. 

38. blood type - Why the fuck do you want to know? AB+

39. nicknames - Dez, Dezzzy.

40. relationship status - Been in a relationship for 4 years now. He’s an asshole. But he’s my asshole. 

41. zodiac - Gemini

42. pronouns - She, Her

43. fave tv shows - Lucifer, The Magicians, iZombie, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Westworld, Avatar, 11-22-63.

44. tattoos - I need more, right now I have an Unalome on my sternum. What is an Unalome you ask? It’s my Tumblr icon. And a Buddhist symbol that represents the path to enlightenment. Yes. I am a Buddhist. 

45. right or left handed - Right handed

46. ever had surgery - Nope. 

47. piercings - Ears and Navel

48. sport - I don’t play sports. I don’t watch sports. I do autocross...but I don’t consider that to be a sport, just a hobby.

49. vacation - My boyfriend and I bought tickets to Paris for this summer! :D

50. trainers - ??? What am I missing here??? I need context. 

more general

51. eating - Again. I need context. What? Eating? Yes. I eat. I’m destroying a Snickerdoodle as I write this, crumbs cascading down onto my grimy pitiful keyboard. 

52. drinking - Whoo boy! Don’t get me started on drinking! My liver is dead and so are my emotions! :) 

53. I’m about to watch - Nothing. Because everything is on haitus. 

54. waiting for - The inevitable release of death???

55. want - CONTEXT!!! I want these questions to have some damn context!

56. get married - I’m gonna tell you a secret, but you can’t tell anyone. My parents are crazy christian religious nuts and my boyfriends parents believe in marriage later in life. But, my boyfriend and I are actually already married on paper lol. Like, we’re both happy together and we cohobitate well and we have the same goals in life so we signed some paperwork at the courthouse to get the taxbreaks mostly lol. This is the first time I’ve aver actually told anyone the truth about that. But we both agreed that our parents dont need to know, because why the fuck is it thier business?? Anwyays, we always still refer to each other as boy/girlfriend because if we slipped up in front of them then things would get ugly lol. 

57. career - I’m in school getting my Architecture degree. 

which is better

58. hugs or kisses - Hmm...it depends. I’m not exactly a big touchy feeling person. I’m gonna go with kissess. 

59. lips or eyes - Eyes. I love me some pretty eyes. 

60. shorter or taller - I’ve been with people both shorter and taller than me, and they both have their advantages and disadvantages. Taller people can reach the top shelves of cabnites and grocery stores, but you have to lean onto your tiptoes everytime you want a kiss. Shorter people are nice because you get to card your fingers through their hair and cup their cheek/jaw, while they have can really only wrap their hands behind your neck. Hmm...idk. I have no preferance. 

61. older or younger - People or in general or like romantic partners? I like people of all ages lol. But like, romantically, I’d have to go with older. 

62. nice arms or stomach - Hmm. Arms. You see a persons arms way more often then their stomachs. 

63. hookup or relationship - I’ve done both. And it depends on the person wether or not a hookup or relationship is better. Hookups are for lust, relationships are for when you actually invest on an emotional level. 

64. troublemaker or hesitant - Hmm...I can say that troublemakers will bring drama. I like hesitant. 

have you ever

65. kissed a stranger - Aquiantances yes. But not a stranger. 

66. drank hard liquor - Why is this even a question??? I’m not even sure I can function without hard liquor anymore. 

67. lost glasses - I don’t have glasses. 

68. turned someone down - Yep. Never date someone just to spare their feelings, you’ll just hurt them more down the line. 

69. sex on the first date - I have. Sex is fun. 

70. broken someone’s heart - I try not to but I probably have. 

71. had your heart broken - Obviously. 

72. been arrested - Nope. I was always the one who did the arresting. 

73. cried when someone died - How can you not cry when you watch someone die in front of you? Like? What kind of cold boded robotic motherfucker must you be??? People who feel no emotion while watching that kind of thing scare me, run away, that’s a fucking serial killer. 

74. fallen for a friend - Yep. It can be hard not to. 

do you believe in

75. yourself - I believe in my ability to drink one bottle of tequilla a night, and my ability to hit a moving target from 300 meters. 

76. miracles - Nope.

77. love at first sight - Nope. Love is emotional, you don’t form emotional connections at first sight. Lust is the only thing you can form at first sight. 

78. Santa Claus - Nope. I’m not three. 

79. kiss on a first date - Isn’t that like the bare minimum for a first date??? I’ve never not kissed on a first date.

80. angels - Nope. 

other

81. best friend’s name - My bestfriend is my boyfriend. 

82. eye color - Blue

83. fave movie - At the moment, Wonder Woman. But the Lion King will always hold a special place in my heart. 

84. fave actor - Tom Ellis, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Pine, Chis Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt, Hugh Jackman.

85. fave actress - Gal Gadot, Lauren German, Lesley Ann Brandt, Amiee Garcia, Hallee Berry, Mila Kunis. 

[iammarylastar]

The Exception. 6. Epilogue 

They had 4 kids, Britany their little Bree, Luke, Adam and Chris. Life took the third back to God just a week after he was born. 

They cried, they mourned, weeks turning into months and Chris came unexpectedly, bringing happiness and joy back to the family.

Stefan stroked the old picture with his thumb.

Mieke and he were standing on the Sydney Bridge, Bree in his arms, Luke in his mother’s. Adam was still growing inside his mother’s womb, little angel who had been ghosting his memories for more than 50 years. 

Cora, as she was used to on each Sunday, took this picture in May 1945, Adam was born in June, about two months early.

They were celebrating the end of that damn war, the World sighed in relief but there was so many wounds to heal.

Europe, Russia had been devastated; Germany and Japan would pay for their faults for decades. Mankind would recover, maybe, and have its dignity and faith in humanity bringing goodness back.

Chris was missing in the black and white picture. He came the year after Adam died. 

Stefan felt a stab in his heart at the reminder. Mieke and he had been more devastated by his lost than any city blown up to ruins by bombings. 

They cried again and again, fighting hell to get up in the morning, trying their best to keep up a smile on their tired faces and raise their other children. Mieke had acted like a ghost for months and all his attempts to cheer her up failed miserably. She closed her heart and her thighs to him, slowly fading away. 

One night where she was silently crying, he took her in his arms and rocked her gently; his chin on the top of her head, whispering soothing love words in her ear as she finally let it go. 

She cried and hit her fists on his chest, biting his shoulder to keep herself from screaming too loudly. She dug her nails deep into his skin, leaving marks, and then slapped his face with all the force she had left. 

Like it was his fault. Like it could be someone’s fault. 

He let her straddle him as she was beating him up, until she crashed down on him, exhausted and panting. He wrapped his wife close to his chest and sat up; combed back her hair damped with tears, stroked lightly her perfect lines, then brushed her lower lips, red from being bitten to blood.

“Mieke, I love you.”

He just said.

She stared at him for a solid minute, reading deep sadness in his eyes, along with hope. And love.

She leant over to brush her lips on his, and then pushed him back to the mattress. Grabbing the hem of her nightdress, she rolled the cloth up her thighs and lifted her ass up to line up with his shaft. Her fingers grasped his pec, and she sighed as she slid down his cock, her eyes never leaving his.

She made love to him, the same way she always had, in their other life.

Chris came 9 full months later. They welcomed this strong young boy, healthy and bald. Happiness filled their house again, along with the cries of the newborn, hungry both for life and milk.

The Kaiser was right; they fought for human rights and equality on each occasion. 

They fought for the rights of the natives, and drove to Canberra that day in 2008, when Kevin Rudd apologized officially for the shameful way Australia treated Aboriginals and the stolen generation.

They fought for the equality between men and women, between all human beings, whatever colour their skin was.

They fought against the ‘gay panic defense’ law, which allowed people to justify a murder in the name of their fear of homosexuals.

More recently they fought for gay and lesbian’s rights, hoping for them to be allowed to get married one day. Love was love after all.

They were involved in several causes and proud to teach this to their children. Goodness and justice as a legacy. 

And Australia was on its way to the fairness she claimed.

Mieke died the year before, in her mid 70s. Breast cancer. At least, he had all his family back home for the funerals.

Stefan let a sob out, it still hurt so much. They had a good life together; they could tell they knew love and happiness. Which he wished to all his children and grand children.

Brittany married twice and gave birth to three girls. She had to follow her latest husband to Perth and he missed his little Bree so much. She called her mom and dad every day by phone or Skype. 

Handwritten letters and much awaited mails were bygone days. He wondered how things would have gone if Mieke had been able to call the Kaiser with her IPhone and get an answer by fax or e-mail within an hour. 

Anyway, the two or three times a year he had them home was never enough to enjoy his beloved daughter and her team, to which he loved telling stories of their mother as a child. She still thought she was born here in Sydney, as written and stamped on her certificate of birth.

Luke had always been a lonely and introvert child, only fully alive when talking about ocean and what’s beyond. He was eager to travel the world, dreaming of being a sailor or working on an oil rig. He loved staying all by himself and told his parents he didn’t feel like he belonged there. He was only 6.

Mieke had cried many rivers, blaming herself not to have been able to take care for him after Adam died, foreseeing their son leaving their household at an early age, which she wouldn’t survive as she repeated again and again. 

She survived though, when he came home at 17, hired as a steward on a yacht, bound for a cruise to French Polynesia. He was over excited, about to ‘live the dream’ , jumping up and down through the house, packing his stuff and shoving them in a big duffle bag.

Pulling his crying mother in a huge hug, he begged, subtly delivering the speech he had prepared for the occasion.

“Mom, this is what makes me happy. I promise I’ll send you postcards from every single place I land on. Mom, please, let me go.”

Stefan looked at the wall where thousands of cards were pinned. There was no country in the world Luke had not put a foot on. 

He tried to settle down in Sydney when he was 30, even took a wife and had a son. But this was not a life for him. He had stayed at bay for 4 years but the ocean screamed his name so loud every fucking day and he had to struggle too hard not to pack and leave within the second.

Chris had always been his favorite. Not really his fav but they always had been very close. Thinking alike, same sense of humour, same skills in teasing and winking, same no skill in taking pics. Mieke was use to mocking them, saying they couldn’t take a good picture to save their lives. 

Chris married a blonde beauty who brought two children into the world. A girl and boy. 

They named their first born Bree, after Chris big sister. And the boy was weirdly called Jai, a name he had never heard before, Stephen as a middle name. Like his beloved grand pa.

Bree had dark eyes and hair, she reminded him of Mieke so much. Smart and beautiful, she wanted to become a teacher like her mother. She was surprisingly -not that much- very skilled in foreign languages.

The boy was the perfect Aussie bloke, blonde curls, amazing blue eyes, sporty, cheeky and kind of a womanizer. He had inherited his frame but looked so much like his mother. Pretty allergic to each foreign language that was not deep accented australian.

He often paid a visit to his grand parents, shamelessly skipping school to sip a beer with his grand pa, chitchatting about girls, life and acting. It had always been his passion, playing someone else, telling stories.

He was chasing the gig, dreaming of a career in Hollywood.

Stefan chuckled. He and Mieke had been very talented at it. Being someone else, telling stories, lying about their roots.

Mieke made him swear to never ever speak about their former life. Too dangerous. The shadow of what happened when they arrived in Sydney haunted her brain and she told him she’d rather kill him than relive those bad times. 

Their deepest secret had laid under a floorboard since they moved in this house, after Luke was born. Sealed like their lips. 

The ID they made whilst in London before leaving, Nietzsche’s 'Beyond good and evil’ he still remembered Mieke’s note and the first page by heart. The letter the Kaiser wrote to save Stefan’s life. The official court decision that made him a free man. Their wedding pic. Few pics of them taking pose with Cora or Marvin before they had to cut ties with them. To keep the secret.

It was a miracle that none of their children or grandchildren ever asked about their roots, their story, where Mieke’s name came from or why she kept calling his husband Stefan instead of Stephen.

The rules of family secrets. No questions.

At some point, he would have to tell his family the truth. 

Stefan Brandt and Mieke De Jong. 

The Kaiser Willem II. The spy, the murders, the war, the run. The real story of Bree’s birth. Her real name. The reason she named all her dolls Cora. The real reason why Luke lived for sailing. Running from Oz to find where he was really from. 

The reason why Jai wanted to be somebody else for a living.

The real story of the Courtney’s.

@captstefanbrandt @kenzieam @beautifulramblingbrains @pathybo @beltz2016 @bookwarm85 @jaicourtneyseyes @oddsnendsfanfics @frecklefaceb @writingismyhappytime @badassbaker @anditcametopass @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995

@tigpooh67 @societalfailure @singingpeople

[ruminativerabbi]

Abe at Pearl Harbor

I was very moved—and unexpectedly so—by the remarks that Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe delivered at Pearl Harbor last month on the seventy-fifth anniversary of the day FDR said would “live in infamy,” the day that Japan bombed our naval base in Hawaii in a surprise attack that took the lives of 2,403 Americans and left another 1,178 seriously wounded.

Pearl Harbor was a watchword for perfidy in my parents’ home. My father would never have considered buying a Japanese car because, as he repeated to me a thousand times, to do so—in his mind, at least—would have been to betray the memory of the thousand-odd American servicemen whose remains rest, even today, inside the wreckage of the U.S.S. Arizona on the floor of the sea. And to do business with their murderers—my father was not one to mince his words—merely because we are technically speaking no longer at war with Japan was simply not something my Dad was prepared to do or would ever have considered doing.

My father once commented to me that 12-07-41 was the 11-22-63 of his generation, the day that everybody always recalled, that no one forgot, that even decades later could prompt any American adult alive at the time to say exactly where he or she was when news of the attack came over the radio. I can see that and, indeed, it’s hard to think of a period of just a few days that changed the history of the world as conclusively as the ones following the attack on Pearl Harbor. On December 7, Japan declared war on the United States and the U.K., and also invaded British Malaya and Thailand. The next day, the United States and the U.K. declared war on Japan. The day after that, China declared war on Japan, Germany, and Italy. A few days later, Germany and Italy declared war on the United States, which was followed later that same day by the United States declaring war on Germany and Italy.  Within four or five days, the fate of the world was materially altered from what might have been to what eventually was. But although there is surely some truth to the theory that Germany might well have won the war in Europe if our nation hadn’t ever joined the fray—and thus that, at least in some convoluted way, the Jews in Europe who survived wouldn’t have escaped the Nazis had the Japanese not forcefully and violently brought the U.S. into the war—that was not how Pearl Harbor was remembered in my parents’ home. It was, in both my parents’ estimation, an act first and foremost of unprovoked barbarian butchery, a day of infamy and perfidy that should live on forever as an example to future generations of why the American military simply cannot be too strong…or too prepared. To find a silver lining in the horror by drawing some sort of direct line between Pearl Harbor and V-E Day would have struck my father as beyond grotesque.

So that was the background I brought to Prime Minister Abe’s visit to Pearl Harbor, which was, of course, intended to complement—and also to compliment—President Obama’s visit to Hiroshima last May. (To review my thoughts about that visit, click here.) Technically speaking, each man was walking in at least some of his predecessors’ footprints. President Obama was preceded at Hiroshima by Richard Nixon in 1964 and Jimmy Carter in 1984, the former before he became President in 1968 and the latter after he left office, but no sitting president had ever gone. Prime Minister Abe was following in the footsteps of the three of his predecessors (including his own grandfather) who had previously visited the memorial at Pearl Harbor, but those three visits all took place in the 1950s, and none was made in the company of an American president. Both men’s visits were, therefore, not something unprecedented but nevertheless something new.

No one apologized for anything. President Obama spoke eloquently and movingly at Hiroshima, but his speech was crafted specifically to make it impossible for anyone to construe his remarks as an admission of guilt. Indeed, a neutral listener who didn’t know who actually dropped those bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki would not have found out by listening, even carefully, to the President’s comments. (You can decide for yourself by clicking here.) Nor did Prime Minister Abe apologize, not even obliquely.

And so was the stage set by the President and the Prime Minister for a new way to think both about Hiroshima and Pearl Harbor—as each other’s moral equivalents, as bookend events not because one initiated the war between Japan and the United States and the other ended it, but because, presumably, both were ghastly acts that seemed justified at the time but now, after all these years, we can see for the acts of barbarism they truly were.  

Does that sound right to you? The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor because they wanted to guarantee that the United States would not interfere in the establishment of an empire that already included most of China and all of Korea, but which they clearly intended eventually to include all of southeastern Asia, presumably including Australia and New Zealand, regardless of whether the lands on the “to be conquered” list were independent nations or overseas territories of the U.S. or any of its allies.  Indeed, on the same day that those 353 Japanese fighter planes and bombers attacked Hawaii, the Japanese also launched air attacks against the American-held territories of Guam, Wake Island, and the Philippines, and against the British possessions of Malaya, Singapore, and Hong Kong. So there really wasn’t any ambiguity about the point of the attack. At least, Prime Minister Abe didn’t fall back on the traditional argument that the attack was justified by the oil embargo placed on Japan by the U.S., the U.K., and Holland in the wake of the “protective” Japanese occupation of French Indochina and by FDR’s decision to freeze all Japanese assets in the United States, particularly given the fact that the attack occurred while negotiations between the U.S. and Japan were ongoing. On the other hand, the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was intended not to initiate a war, but to end one. And, for better or worse, it worked: Japan offered to surrender conditionally the day following Nagasaki, and then finally surrendered unconditionally on August 15, 1945, a mere six days after the bombs fell on August 6 and 9.

All that being the case, I was completely primed to be offended by Prime Minister Abe’s remarks…and, even more so, by the expectation that they would somehow end up equating Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima as gigantic errors perpetrated by similarly benighted parties unable to understand the depths of their own moral depravity. But that wasn’t how I responded, and no one was more surprised by that than I!

Abe spoke from the heart, and these were his opening remarks:

Even 75 years later, the USS Arizona, now at rest atop the seabed, is the final resting place for a tremendous number of sailors and marines. Listening again as I focus my senses, alongside the song of the breeze and the rumble of the rolling waves, I can almost discern the voices of those crewmen. Voices of lively conversations, upbeat and at ease, on that day, on a Sunday morning. Voices of young servicemen talking to each other about their futures and dreams. Voices calling out the names of loved ones in their very final moments. Voices praying for the happiness of children still unborn.  Each and every one of those servicemen had a mother and a father anxious about his safety. Many had wives and girlfriends they loved. And many must have had children they would have loved to watch grow up. All of that was brought to an end. When I contemplate that solemn reality, I am rendered entirely speechless. “Rest in peace, precious souls of the fallen.” With that overwhelming sentiment, I cast flowers on behalf of Japanese people, upon the waters where those sailors and marines sleep.

By framing his remarks as a kind of eulogy for the dead, he struck a note that I found deeply resonant. Like President Obama, Shinzo Abe was born years after the war. He hardly had to note that he had personally played no role in the deaths of the thousands of Americans who died at Pearl Harbor, but that he chose to begin his remarks by focusing solely on the dead themselves—and that he signaled his personal understanding of the depth of tragedy that their loss entailed not solely for their nation but for their own families, for their own people—that seemed to me precisely the right note to strike.

And then he went on to talk neither about blame nor guilt, but about reconciliation as a sacred undertaking, as the almost holy framework—he didn’t use religious language in his remarks but that’s somehow how I heard them—in which enemies can turn from enmity to live in peace. He observed, entirely correctly, that his nation and ours cannot be compared in terms of the challenge this prospect of reconciliation posed in 1945. Japan lay in ruins, its economy in tatters and its right to a place among its former enemies in the forum of nations uncertain even to its own citizenry. It did not take much, therefore, for the Japanese to yearn for reconciliation. But it did for our nation. We were the victors, they the vanquished. We dictated the terms of surrender and we had it in our power to make Japan a vassal state, to deny it a place in the world community of post-war nations, to find in the national humiliation of the Japanese a way to see a brighter future for our nation and for the world.  But we did not take any of those paths forward.

Abe said this as well:

The Japanese people managed to survive and make their way toward the future thanks to the sweaters and milk sent by the American people. And it was the United States that opened up the path for Japan to return to the international community once more after the war. Under the leadership of the United States, Japan, as a member of the free world, was able to enjoy peace and prosperity. The goodwill and assistance you extended to us Japanese, the enemy you had fought so fiercely, together with the tremendous spirit of tolerance were etched deeply into the hearts and minds of our grandfathers and mothers. We also remember them. Our children and grandchildren will also continue to pass these memories down and never forget what you did for us.

I found those words moving and satisfying, partially just because they are so true…but also because they reminded me just how remarkable—and how remarkably noble—our nation has the capacity to be, using the fantastic might of our military not to dominate but to make peace, not to bend other nations to our will but to create a world in which even the most dastardly of former enemies can move forward to a better future. And that was the Prime Minister’s wish as well. “It is my wish,” he concluded by saying, “that our Japanese children, and President Obama, your American children, and indeed their children and grandchildren, and people all around the world, will continue to remember Pearl Harbor as the symbol of reconciliation.”

One of the things I admired the most about my father was the fact that he continued to grow morally and intellectually throughout all the years of his life. Very late in life, he became a vegetarian. His political views also morphed forward throughout the years, partially because of his supple intellect but also because he considered ongoing ethical growth a badge of honor not a sign of mental instability. I mentioned above that he never bought a Japanese car, but I’m not sure he ever bought a Japanese radio either. He felt that Pearl Harbor was a symbol of barbarism and inhumanity, and of militaristic depravity. But I think he would have responded warmly to Shinzo Abe’s remarks and found some sort of closure in them. To no one’s surprise more than my own, I felt the same way.

[rowankingsleyy]

Like this if you want to plot with Rowan (we know we’re not new but we could always use new connections) =)

NAME: ROWAN JESSAMINE KINGSLEY

NICKNAMES: Ro, Winnie (close friends only)

AGE: 28

PRONOUNS: She/Her

OCCUPATION: Published Author/Freelance Baker

HEIGHT: 5′1

BIRTHDAY: May 11th, 1992

ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

PARENTS: Cassandra and Tony Kingsley

SIBLINGS: Rett Kahale (half sibling)

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

MBTI: ISFJ

MORE UNDER THE READ MORE =)

TW: domestic violence, sexual assault, anxiety, eating disorders, mention of death, illness, drugs

SEQUENCE OF EVENTS

Rowan was born to Cassandra and Tony Kingsley in the early summer of 1992, at which point things were already strained between the two-some because of Tony’s alcohol problem and Cassie’s generally meek personality.

Rowan’s half-brother took a leading role in her care from a very young age, not just because her dad was useless, but also because their mother was so distracted by her need to please Tony that she dropped the ball often.

Both her brother and her saw things they certainly shouldn’t have, were told things that no children should be told, and occasionally went without for no reason other than Tony liking control, but he never hurt them physically.  However, he did hurt their mother.  

Less than a year after her brother turned 18 and moved out of the house, their mother died of an aneurysm suddenly and unexpectedly.

Despite how Rowan’s father treated her mother, the loss of her broke him and send him on a 3 month bender that only ended because he was booked with vehicular manslaughter and his 3rd DWI.

Luckily, Rowan only spent a few weeks in foster care before the court allowed her brother to assume custody over her.

From the moment her brother joined, the club became her family.  The wives and daughters of the club were the people who taught her everything she knows about being a girl, doing make up, doing her hair, navigating boys.  (This is probably why she went through a blue eyeshadow phase at 17)

Rowan is a textbook overachiever and perfectionist, she always had all As, was always in 6 clubs, and held officer positions in every single one including the dance team.  While she did hold officer positions, she never really was one to take front and center--she prefers the positions of the people behind the scenes keeping things together.  (secretary, treasurer, anything that has to do with organizational skills.

While over her high school years she wrote a lot, and even published one of her short stories in a local newspaper, she didn’t write her first full novel until she went away to college at 18.  No one ever read that novel, it hit the trash during its 5th round of editing. 

At 18 she received a full scholarship to UC Berkley and left Charming for the first time to go to school first time.  She lived in the dorms all 4.5 years and graduated with a degree in English, minoring in Psychology.

If you ever ask Rowan what she’s afraid of, she’ll tell you losing control again.  She notes two prominent times of completely losing control over her life, one fairly recent, and the other while she was away at college.  While she was away, she went out fairly often with her friends and one night someone slipped something into her drink.  Nothing happened, she made it home without incident, but the way it made her feel, the way she felt victimized or the potential of being so set her off.  She had two drop three of her classes and extend her time in college an extra semester because of how hard she spun out, trying to control things that she wouldn’t typically even think about.  She started her senior year 20 pounds lighter with 0% of the friends she had started her Junior year with.

While she was away at college her brother became a father, which meant frequent trips home to visit and help out with her niece who quickly meant enough to her to be her own.    

She returned home from school at 23 and worked in a bakery until she could live off of her cookie business (at 25 her cookie business was self sufficient).  

While she was growing her cookie business, she began writing her first professional novel and completed it at 26.  She sold it that very same year, and published it at 27.

While it changed her life or the better and got her foot in the door with the publishing world, publishing her book also led to the the single most traumatizing thing she has ever experienced.  

While she was marketing her book, the marketing manager became very demanding of Rowan and her time, which often led to them being together very late at night.  One night, while out of town for a book reading, he pushed himself on Rowan.  This assault led to the second occurance of Rowan losing complete control and her life suffering because of it.

After the assault, Rowan threatened to blow the whistle, and in return he threatened her career so she is still with that publishing company with him as her marketing manager.  

As of now, Rowan is in the process of getting her second book published, filling in as mom as best she can for her niece, running her cookie business and holding cookie classes, and trying to make amends for the bonds she broke when she spun out last.

TENDENCIES

Because of how contentious Rowan’s early childhood was, she has a pretty anxious mind that is always running on 100.  Her thoughts come a mile a minute and they can be pretty difficult to stop.  Melatonin is her best friend.  

When she loses control over things in her life (hELLO we meet again control-less childhood) she controls everything she can, and that manifests differently every time.  Controlling what she eats to the point of malnourishment, controlling every single word of what she’s writing, putting herself on lockdown until whatever she’s working on is      p e r f e c t.  

She fixates on her mistakes, in high school if she answered to the wrong name during roll she would be thinking about it for the rest of the day.

She bakes in excess when she’s trying to think through something, the measurements and muscle memory movements help calm her brain into being able to process whatever is on her mind.

She’s always been a writer, from the very first time she had to write in her 4th grade ELA class.  That only grew through Middle and High School creative writing classes.  She’s always loved exploring the stories and that it was something that she could perfect through six or seven round of editing.

Sticky notes cover her bedroom walls because of how quickly her thoughts come and go, her ideas for books do NOT come in order and she can often be found starring at her walls with her little scribbles trying to figure out what order they should go in.

For someone who would be considered the ‘bright & shiny’ type, she has a thing for researching and watching shows about serial killers.  She can rattle off facts like its her day job.  

Because of how quiet she can be, sometimes folks assume she’s innocent or that she doesn’t know anything, but in reality the opposite is true.  She’s spent so much time watching and analyzing everyone and everything that she knows much more that she lets on or that any civilian should.

She learned how to play guitar in college (not very well) and is a pretty damn good singer, but she’d never be the type to want to be front and center in front of a crowd.  She mostly uses these talents as a means to an end in writing mini stories with lyrics.  It appeases her in the in between period of having finished a book and being able to start a new one.

All floral, all the time.  Enough said.

GENUINELY afraid of birds and giant frogs

I’ll probably add to this it’s 1am and I’m tired.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

high school friends/enemies

someone who delivers cookies for her

women who influenced her growing up within the club

club members who are like family

someone who mentored her in her baking

friends she lost when she spun out during college

literally anything

ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS

wherever i go, you bring me home Rett Kahale// her brother.  her parent.  rowan is extremely close to her brother, as kids they were all each other had.  he’s done everything he could to give her a normal childhood, to make up for her parents’ lapses.  she would do just about anything for him or his daughter.  

can't stop staring, at those oceans eyes, burning cities, and napalm skies. fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes Lev Finnerty// no title.  but he’s the only man who has ever quieted her brain long enough for her to both lose her breath and catch it.  they’ve kissed a few times and have something comparable to a magnetic field between them, but lev broke it off out of respect for her brother.

i'll stand up with you forever, i'll be there for you through it all Natalie Cassadaga// her sister.  they may not have grown up together, but because of how her brother took Nat in the very same way he did her they bonded to an extent that would have been unfathomable had she not experienced it.  barring childhood, they’re sisters, no buts.

i’m a mess, i’m a loser, i’m a hater, i’m a user Freddie Dawson// her confidant.  this is the only person outside of nat who gets to see rowan admit to being a mess.  freddie gets the 100% honest version of rowan, usually with a little bit of liquid courage.

you can leave me in the dark if that's all I get from you Maximo Sanchez // her ex.  they dated in secret for 8 months before her assault.  when she spun out after the assault, she didn’t tell him and she pushed him away.  she fucked up the relationship, but she’s a little bitter about how easily he gave up on her.  

you're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece Angela Hunter // the best friend.  an unlikely pair given their age difference.  regardless of the time that’s passed since angie left, they picked right back up like no time had lapsed. they did so without judgement or awkward pauses.  they eat, they drink, they gossip.  they support each other when needed.  rowan is considered an aunt to Lily.  lots of cookies and weed cupcakes to be had.

'cause they’re gonna tell you all the rules to break, to take away that light Leyla Aslan // her roommate.  the boldness to rowan’s softness.  how different they are makes them work, they bring balance to each other (and rationalize the one another when they go too far).  

If you’ve made it this far, you deserve a baby Rowan picture, here.