#both for the 5 who survived and for all 8 main characters including the ones who died

[len-the-neverending]

"Average Hephaestus survivor has died 0.6 times" factoid actually just statistical error. Average Hephaestus survivor has died 0 times. Deaths Isabel, who has lived in space for five years and experienced at least 3 brutal deaths, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

[insert-random-account-name]

Crappy Character Analysis part 3

I didn't give up, so here's a third one. BTW, if you have anything to add, contest, or comment on, feel free to!

part 1 (Broken) part 2 (Skeptic) part 3 (You are here)

part 4 (Paranoid) part 5 (Stubborn) part 6 (Contrarian)

part 7 (Smitten) part 8 (Opportunist) part 9 (Cheated)

part 10 (Hunted) part 11 (Hero)

VOICE OF THE COLD

The Cold is rather famous for creeping people out. Me included. He doesn’t whisper, yet his voice has that whispery quality to it. Not to mention that all of his dialogue is existentially unnerving. He doesn’t mind being possessed, drowning, or burning alive. He survives being unwound in the Fury by the sheer depth of his apathy. Multiple times, he tells the other voices to just turn off their feelings, like he has. The only thing that seems to bother him is boredom. He dislikes doing the same thing over again, and suggests ridiculous courses of action just to change things up. He’s able to keep a straight head in absurd situations, such as the Moment of Clarity and The Fury (Through both Adversary and Tower). In the Moment of Clarity, he’s the only one who has any semblance of sanity left. In the (Tower) Fury, he actually helps Stubborn kill the Fury, by simply accepting that even though you are nothing, that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything.  The main misinterpretation I see people fall into is that the Cold is logical, due to his apathy. This could not be further from the truth. He purposely instigates the people who can make your life miserable (Opportunist, Narrator, Spectre, and Smitten) and encourages you to take actions that can end in your heart getting ripped out.

The Cold doesn’t really care what happens to you, as long as it isn’t just the same thing over and over. Seeing how you get the Cold by killing yourself, it stands to reason that he sees your life as something expendable, something that can be thrown away for trivial reasons. As shown in his mirror scenes, he is not afraid of death, again referencing his dark origins. His need to prevent boredom also comes from the motivations behind killing yourself (In most of the chapters you get him in, you end your life because you’re bored [<--simplified explanation]). The Cold’s desire for something interesting to happen is why he’s intrigued by incredibly undesirable and painful experiences. His response to getting hurt in the worst way possible (infinite tedium) was to numb his feelings, and now he craves something that could make him feel again. It also fuels his knack for getting on everyone’s nerves (Especially the Narrator and the Smitten), since bickering is amusing to him. He also isn’t scared of the Princess at all, which could be because, in Chapter 1, the Damsel, and the Spectre, you can kill her easily, so of course he doesn’t view her as a threat. That’s basically all my thoughts on him, he was harder than the last two.

[waveridden]

i would like to hear the more thoughts actually

slam dunking these under a cut because major spoilers for the new episode (also cw for discussion of alcoholism and suicide)

okay so tldr: bobby died. this actually leaked a few weeks ago bc someone stumbled on them filming his funeral, so it wasn't exactly a surprise, but there was a lot of speculation that it was a fake-out. it is almost definitely not. the actor posted his goodbye letter, people are making "it was a pleasure working with you" posts, the showrunner straight up said in multiple interviews that he's dead.

if you do not actively watch 911, the things you need to know are:

bobby was the captain of firehouse 118

he is a recovering alcoholic, and the son of an alcoholic firefighter

once, while drunk, he left a space heater on that started a fire that ultimately burned down an apartment building and ~150 people died, including his wife and kids

he was very suicidal for a while and planned on killing himself after he saved 150 people to make up for the ones he killed

he is estranged from his mother and brother

throughout the course of the show, bobby gets better. he struggles with alcoholism sometimes, he struggles with guilt (he is also very catholic), but he moves on. he remarries and adopts stepkids, befriends his wife's ex-husband, becomes the beloved captain and father figure and advice-giver for the whole station. he even becomes the pseudo-father to buck, who has a complicated relationship with his own parents.

the thing about long-running procedurals is that it is really easy for characters to stagnate, or to run out of things to do with them. 911 started in spring 2018; in the past 8 seasons (7 years!) they have had two main cast members join as first responders, one leave (in the first season) and one character become a first responder and then leave. that's it. that's all of the changes for the fire, police, and dispatchers.

so the question, right, is how do you move the show forward? there are a lot of ways, death isn't the only one, but you need things to change. there have been changes - bobby has been briefly ousted as captain twice, both times lasting 3-5 episodes - and it's always clear that he is incredibly central to the way the firehouse functions. he cooks the meals, he connects with his team on professional and personal levels, he cares so very much.

what are some interesting things you can do with bobby?

introduce someone who survived the apartment fire. i really didn't like this arc, because i think they fucking bungled it, but it's an interesting idea.

bring him to the brink of relapse, or of suicide, and walk him back, but after seven years, you need to do something new.

expose him to nuclear waste. talk about how his life is at risk because he wanted to save people. talk about what that means for him.

give him a happy married life, and friends, and good relationships with his kids.

give him a new pseudo-kid (which they even say in the show).

re-introduce his estranged mother and brother. make sure he says to them that they missed out on his life and they will never get it back.

make him die of a heart attack for 16 minutes, for some reason.

and the thing is - it's pretty unusual for procedurals not to change cast for this long. there are 7 main cast members. for comparison, NCIS has been running for 22 seasons, consistently with a size of ~9 cast members, and someone leaves/joins every few years. so this kind of change isn't unprecedented.

so what do you do to change things up? to me, the answer is so incredibly obvious. you pull out the keystone and you watch the bridge crumble. you have all of these people who rely on him for mentorship, for parenthood, for love, for whatever. what happens when you take that away? and not "he works somewhere else" - what happens when it's gone?

let me be clear, i love bobby and i'm going to miss him, and it's not that i think this was the only choice, or they had to kill him off, or anything like that. but it is a clear interesting choice to me! it is a way to change the status quo, one that has meaningful consequences for literally every other main cast member in one way or another. killing bobby doesn't just kill him, it alters the dynamics of the show.

moreover, i think they did a great job with it! the past two episodes have been about an incident at a biomedical lab with a highly infectious disease (sidebar, this has ruined a fic idea i really liked) where most of the 118 are trapped inside in various states of medical disasters, ranging from "infected" to "hole in chest." in these episodes, bobby does everything he can to save his team, only to reveal at the very last minute that he was infected and decided to use the one dose of antiviral to save one of his firefighters rather than himself. this is rounded off with emotional goodbyes with buck and with athena, his wife, and then he dies, having given everything to the job.

a lot of people on the internet, unsurprisingly, are pretty mad. they're calling it disrespectful or whatever because of his suicidal tendencies. i could not disagree more! first of all, because he says that he loved his life, and he wanted to live, and he is sad to be dying. and second of all, when you think about the specifics of it (wanting to die of penance vs. choosing to die because he loves his team) are very very different! it is done well, it is in character, it is beautiful.

there are three more episodes in this season, with next week being bobby's funeral, and i've gotta be real: i am so fucking hyped. i think that they did something interesting, and i think they did it well! i feel like it was rooted in strong characterization and i am really excited to see where this goes.

and most of all, i am excited that i have blocked so, so many people on twitter tonight. remember, kids, curate your social media experiences.

[fromtheseventhhell]

I'm not sure how to get it into people's heads that Arya is a female character. She's not a boy, not nonbinary, trans, agender, or genderless. I don't intend this in a way to be negative or wanky, but her girlhood is imbedded within her character. The problem isn't that Arya stans are missing the point by overemphasizing her femininity and wanting her to be a barefoot tradwife baby making machine, but that we're stating it exists when the majority of fandom and the show itself have gone out of the way to minimize the relevancy of her gender. I'm fully convinced there are a lot of people who think Arya would be the exact same character had GRRM created her as a male character named Arry instead, perhaps they'd do a better job at acknowledging her importance.

What's most ironic to me is how these same fans will gush and coo over the sisters being more alike than we think, but only if it involves giving Arya's characteristics to Sansa. Well acktually, Sansa likes to ride horses just as much as Arya does! They're so alike uwu! But dare acknowledge that Arya has traits and aspects commonly associated to Sansa then not only does that get accusations of wanting Arya to become Sansa, but that it's solely about showing Sansa up and wanting her to grovel in Arya's shadow and superiority 🙄 Hypocrisy and projection showing itself.

Somewhat of an aside, but I recently saw a post on reddit complaining about the fact that all four of Daemon's children survived the Dance specifically focused on the fact that both Rhaena and Baela lived. According to the OP, one of them should've died and their post-war roles in the story should've been given to only one of them. Which at its core is really the main conflict between Sansa and Arya stans, no matter how much the Stansas want to cover their ears and play dumb. It's not about Arya stans projecting their sibling squabbles onto the two of them but simply the fact that it's not possible for two characters to fulfill the same role in the story, specifically when it involves two female characters. The existence of two Stark sisters is an inconvenience for the people who want the story to revolve around Sansa.

I have to believe there's some bubbles that they don't want to admit will burst if TWOW will ever be released and that's why they cling to the idea that Arya stans are the delusional ones. They have to believe that the parts of Sansa's seasons 5-8 storyline they like came from GRRM instead of D&D or else their Jonsa and QITN fantasies will fall apart. I have no idea how someone can watch the scene where Sansa tells Arya she couldn't survive what she had while Arya can only sputter out that she was training and believe 1) it makes sense for their book characters and 2) D&D didn't blatantly favor Sansa and Sophie over Arya and Maisie.

This ask came literally seconds after I drafted a post talking about this exact topic and it's so wild to me that we were both up thinking about Arya + her girlhood and wanting to discuss it ����

As for this ask, you really hit the nail on the head. Arya's gender is an essential aspect of her journey but fandom ignores that because they've decided that there's only one "right" way to exist as a female character. Arya's self-esteem issues stem from her being a non-conforming Lady in a misogynistic society, she has to disguise herself as a boy in part because of the threat of sexual violence, in Harrenhal she is assigned gender-specific tasks/labor, political matches are made without her knowledge/consent, she is threatened with sexual violence multiple times, and even her role within the FM is influenced by her gender. Her being non-conforming doesn't mean she's the complete antithesis of everything feminine. The obsession with propping up Sansa has ruined people's ability to perceive complex female characters, ironically including Sansa herself. They genuinely would've respected Arya more if she had died passively rather than fight for her life and you can't tell me that isn't misogyny.

That Reddit post is a great example of how people genuinely can't (or refuse to) comprehend the idea of two female characters occupying the same space. Cause you're right, that is the root of the issue. I think the only reason they bother with the fake "Stark sisters uwu" crap is because they've backed themselves into a faux-feminist corner and they don't want to look hypocritical for disliking Arya. So instead, they pretend to care all while rewriting her to serve as Sansa's prop. This is also why so many Queen!Sansa truthers are also anti-Dany + think that Sansa becoming Queen depends on Dany's downfall. They desperately cling to the show as canon, when D&D have openly admitted they changed the story because they favored Sansa/Sophie. They're fine with how show!Arya is written because to them, that's exactly how she should be; a subservient lapdog for Sansa. TWOW is definitely going to ruin that illusion, and one of the reasons I'm optimistic about it being released is getting to see fandom's reaction.

[kanohirren]

How to Make Rendog in DnD

I’ll go level by level and explain the reasoning behind my decisions and how I think it fits them in character. This build assumes starting at level 8 but includes notes on differences if you start at level 1 and progress to 8. This is not intended as a guide on how to play dnd, just how to build this character. I also don't explain every feature, but I may briefly touch on it and explain my reasoning for taking it.

Class: Barbarian 5 (Path of the Beast)/Bard 3 (College of Swords)

Race: Shifter (closest to an official dog race in 5e)

Base Ability Scores:

Str 15 (+2) + 1 from race = 16 (+3)

Dex 10 (+0)

Con 14 (+2) +2 from race = 16 (+3)

Int 8 (-1)

Wis 10 (+0)

Cha 14 (+2)

Background: Folk Hero

Ren is a strong player with a good track record when it comes to pvp in the life series. What he lacks in game knowledge he makes up for with pure charisma, being able to swing many people to his side (renpire, shadow alliance). Depending on how you look at it, he really is a hero to some (especially martyn) and knows how to make a good show.

Before we get into the class features, here’s the race and background ones.

Shifter:

Bestial Instincts: Skill proficiency. Choose Athletics.

Darkvision 60ft.

Shifting: Become more beast-like as a bonus action and gain temp HP. Become doggier.

Shifter type: choose Swiftstride to be fast, but if you want tankiness then Beasthide is also a good option. Barbarians often struggle with movement speed which is the main reason for choosing Swiftstride.

Folk Hero Background:

Skill Proficiencies: Animal Handling, Survival

Tool Proficiencies: Any Artisan’s tools, land vehicles.

Rustic Hospitality: Common people like you and will help you.

Shifters get to choose their animal ancestry and traits, so you can choose to be a dog. Longtooth is usually the default option for dog (the other options are associated with other animals) but the feature is quite useless in this build, which is why we pick one of the other ones.

Time for class levels! At 1st lvl, we start with barbarian, which grants us:

Proficiency in Light and medium armour, shields

Proficiency in simple and martial weapons

Proficiency in Strength and Constitution saving throws.

Skill proficiencies: choose Intimidation and Perception

Rage: Core barbarian feature. Hit harder and soak more hits. Keep in mind you cant use spells while raging, which will matter after multiclassing.

Unarmored Defense: Add your Con to your AC if you have no armour. Goes well with being a bard…

The red king Ren was very vicious kind of king who goes to war leading his troops rather than hiding in the backline. Barbarian is a perfect class for Ren who is both very good at and goes unga bunga on occasion. Keep in mind both Shifting and Raging are bonus actions, so you have to use them on different turns. The temp HP gets doubled value vs weapon damage if you’re raging because of resistance, so it might be usually better to rage first but it also depends.

At 2nd lvl, we continue with barbarian and will do so up to lvl 5.

Danger Sense: Advantage on dex saves against things you can see. Very useful for avoiding traps.

Reckless Attack: Advantage on your attacks is always good to have if you don’t mind taking more hits.

These features fit Ren perfectly too since he is pretty good at surviving and avoiding traps (unless a stalactite is involved) and in combat he can go pretty wild.

At 3rd lvl, we get:

Subclass: Path of the Beast

Path of the Beast gives:

Form of the Beast: When you Rage, you get an extra bestial trait to be even more dog-like. Bite gives you healing at low hp, claw gives you an extra attack and tail gives you extra ac. All fairly useful in different situations.

Now Ren becomes even more doggy. I always envisioned Ren being more of an axe-wielding barbarian, but these are still good to have. Keep in mind you choose the trait when you rage and can’t change it until a new rage, so choose the right one for the situation (low hp? Bite for healing. Two claw attacks actually deals more damage than the axe because you add your strength mod twice. Tail is good for avoiding hits or hitting something barely out of reach.)

At 4th lvl, we get:

Ability Score Improvement OR Feat: Take the Ability Score improvement and bump your Strength up to 18 (+4).

The extra strength helps everywhere as a barbarian.

At 5th lvl, we get:

Extra Attack (more damage! Woo!)

Fast Movement: an extra 10 ft. of move speed if you aren’t wearing heavy armour which you can’t really use as a barbarian anyway.

If you took Swiftstrider at the start, you’ll now have a whopping 50 ft. of walking speed, which is pretty dang fast. You’ll be able to run across deserts in no time.

At 6th lvl, we begin multiclassing with a level in bard, which grants us:

Musical Instrument Proficiency: Choose a Horn.

Skill Proficiency: Choose Persuasion

Bardic Inspiration: Increase chances of success. Not a spell, so you can use it during rage.

Two Cantrips: Choose Message (whisper chat msgs) and Minor Illusion (fun spell)

Four 1st lvl spells: Speak with Animals, Identify, Charm Person and Color Spray.

Now we get to the more… seductive side of Ren. Ren’s a really fun person but is also known to be a little on the less PG side of things if you know what I’m saying (not to mention the fact that as a barbarian with unarmored defense… fully exposed while being beheaded). I also tried to pick spells that are more useful outside of combat since he can’t cast spells while raging.

At 7th lvl, we take a second level of Bard, which grants us:

Jack of All Trades: Half-proficiency in all ability checks is good.

Song of Rest: Listen to Ren sing Britney during a short rest and heal up extra good.

One more spell: Command (Kneel before your king!)

Jack of All Trades will make up for some of Ren’s poorer stat checks now.

At 8th lvl, we take a third level of Bard, which grants us:

Expertise in Two Skills: Choose Persuasion (man literally persuaded people to go to war) and Athletics (good in general for strength builds).

2nd lvl spells: See Invisibility (doesn’t use concentration)

Subclass: College of Swords

College of Swords grants us:

Bonus Proficiencies: Medium Armor and Scimitars. Redundant because we get that from Barbarian.

Fighting Style: Choose Dueling and use a battle axe with a shield.

Blade Flourish: Even more movement speed when you attack, and the flourish options are all useful on top of the extra damage they provide (more ac, knockback and aoe damage). The go-to would probably be Defensive Flourish to stack with your Tail. If you chose Beasthide Shifter, your AC will go even higher.

Flourishes are especially useful because they aren’t spells and they don’t take any action economy. This is a surprisingly good synergy between a barbarian and a bard multiclass, especially since you get access to a fighting style with this subclass for some extra damage consistency.

Summary:

Final Stats:

Str 18 (+4)

Dex 10 (+0)

Con 16 (+3)

Int 8 (-1)

Wis 10 (+0)

Cha 14 (+2)

Two Attacks

Battle axe attack: +4 (str) +3 (prof. bonus) = +7 to hit, 1d8 + 4 + 2 (dueling) slashing dmg.

Three Bardic Inspirations

Cantrips: Message, Minor Illusion

1st lvl spells: Speak with Animals, Identify, Color Spray, Charm Person, Command

2nd lvl spells: See Invisibility

In summary, lots of combat power (as is fitting for the Red King himself) and a decent amount of Bard utility. A similar build to Scar’s, though more towards the combat end of the spectrum.

And that’s it for Ren! I think I managed to capture a bit of his savagery but also his fun and charming side into this build. He’s built for combat but he’s also quite good in social situations and he’s gonna be a tough nut to crack!

[whatcha-reading-today]

Quicksilver | Callie Hart (and the commodification of romantasy)

This felt like someone took notes while reading ACOTAR and then played madlibs with all the main plot points.

I somehow wrote over 3000 words on my feelings on both Quicksilver and the romantasy genre so I'm going to put that below the break.

Here are our plot points so you can play at home:

Our main girl suffers and does not have parents. (Could also be vague, and a parent could show up in a later book for plot reasons). She does have siblings and possibly a friend or two. She has to steal/bargain/hunt to survive.

1b. Our main girl is ‘plain’ but has a ‘pretty face’. She’s conventionally attractive, white with brown hair that is very long and healthy even though she’s starving etc.

2. Magic, which either does not exist or has not been seen for a long time in the world, results in our FMC isekai-ing to another world.

2b. A very hot fantasy man, who is tall, has raven black hair and green/blue/silver eyes is there to facilitate the portaling.

3. Exposition dump: there's a war that's been happening for a long time (like centuries) and our FMC is the chosen one, our Luke Skywalker/Aang, who is integral to saving the world. Don’t forget to set up the world so people have an idea of what’s happening, I guess. There should be fae, humans, possibly a few more assorted fantasy creatures of your choosing, just remember to make the magic stuff tragic to our MMC.

4. Our FMC (who is very plain and has never washed her hair and only wears pants) and our MMC banter for 100ish pages. They are forced to work together related to the war/conflict laid out in step 3.

4b. More exposition related to our MMC. He is royalty but rejects it for tragic reasons. He’s gruff and annoys the FMC. But she also admits he’s smokin’ hot.

5. FMC does chosen one things, displays some kind of amazing uber power that hasn’t been seen before, or is the most clever.

6. Advance the plot forward, there should be some greater threat or one of the side characters is kidnapped or wounded because of the war.

7. FMC and MMC banter some more.

8. Depending on the spice level, the main characters either boink or kiss.

9. Final battle time. As a result of the final battle, bad guy, or other such event, FMC is transformed from boring human to uber powerful fantasy creature.

10. FMC is now the government.

Here are some things you should include:

Terms: Fae, male/female (for that dose of bioessentialism), cocks should 'spring free', breasts should be 'bound' during the daytime, pull your sex scene dialogue from 2014 Tumblr/AO3 for added cringe for your elders. Talk about people’s ‘orbs’, straight up quote the style of My Immortal (Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee).

Make sure you have a phrase like: “To the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered.” In Quicksilver we have: “For those who live their nightmares so that others may have their dreams.”

Don't forget about: shadow powers, growling, biting, fated mates, and for the audiobook, get Anthony Palmini to voice the Shadow Daddy. Everyone should smell something like smoke, earth, pine, and ozone. I remember reading a Thor fanfic a million years ago where he smelled like 'the Earth after it was struck by lightning' and honestly, if you want people to be stinky, they should smell like things like that.

When writing your Shadow Daddy, he should first of all have shadow powers that freak people out but is actually very sexy. Bonus points if he can use his shadow powers during the sex scenes. He should of course be very tall (like past 6ft), be brooding and dark, come packed with a tragic past tied to the conflict of the book, and be sassy. Our FMC should hate him (but recognize he’s hot) and then once she meets his friends realize he’s actually super nice. He also, of course, should be at least 1000 years old but act like he’s in his mid-20s. Oh, and there should be threats of or actual sexual violence against our MMC. The violence against Rhys is referenced thoroughly in ACOTAR, with Rhysand’s sexual slavery a major plot point in book 2. Here it feels like a throwaway line of yes the vampire king totally assaulted Kingfisher for about 50ish years.

When writing your FMC she should be plain, wear her hair in a braid, but actually be conventionally attractive. She should have some talent like hunting, or using a bow and arrow, or parkour-ing like in Assassin’s Creed. Whatever talent she has is different from her Luke Skywalker superpower needed for fantasy reasons, and whatever talent you gave her at the start should vanish midway through the series. Like in ACOTAR, Feyre is a good hunter and just seems to forget halfway through the book series. Here, Saeris is a thief and does very little thievery after the intro where she falls into a portal.

More specific thoughts on Quicksilver:

This book is fine and has a lot of elements that do work in the genre. But it desperately needed an editor. First, there were a surprising number of grammatical errors (I listened to the audiobook, so I can't comment on typos on page) that should have been caught.

Second, there were some issues with plotting and characterization. In terms of characterization, I found Saeris oddly and unevenly plotted. She is supposed to be either Aladdin or Han Solo with a devil may care attitude, but she spends large swaths of the books as a mothering, confused dum dum. Her motivation was inconsistent and unclear. She tells us up front I want to save my brother, kind of fucks that up, and then we don't hear about the brother for 80% of the book. So ok, then her motivation is to...be with Fisher? Go home to do what exactly? Back to being a blacksmith? This poor characterization ends up causing other problems when it comes to the plot structure.

When I think about plotting in any book but especially a fantasy there are two major considerations; worldbuilding and set up for the climax. The world building here is shockingly telling. And I mean telling. Saeris asks other characters to tell her what’s going on and they tell her. It’s some of the laziest exposition dumping I’ve seen since the Princess Leia hologram in CC book 3.

I also think this was a mistake to write this in first person perspective exclusively from Saeris’s POV. The author clued us in on things far too bluntly or explained things that Saeris should not have known. These are things that could have been caught by a good editor to make things a bit more subtle, or by changing this to third person OR having Saeris share narration duties with someone else. I’m a big fan of dual perspectives in fantasy as it’s a way to more subtly world build when one of our main characters doesn’t know anything. There are a lot of romantasies and fantasies that do this well, like the Villains and Virtues trilogy or the Song of Ice and Fire series. Our different characters know things that others don’t. We get that insight and then can see how each of the other characters react when they learn some explosive piece of information.

In terms of the setup and payoff, there were places where the narration kind of failed. For example, when Saeris and crew are in the library and someone asks about siblings and one of our side characters is like side eyeing Fisher and looking at him longingly, I already know the twist here. This also displays a lack of trust for the reader. I hate that this has become a trend to make everything so obvious because the reader might be, I don’t know, solving math problems while they’re listening to a book. Reading should require some brain power. Trust readers to put it together on their own. This does, however, require a good set up so the payoff feels earned in the third act. Because of the structure here, there are no surprises and things like, ‘my mommy left a magic book for me that told me everything that is going to happen’ just feels out of left field.

Consent, Sexual Content, and Violence

I’m not going to put this behind a spoiler wall but I think there are some weird things in romantasy books around sex. Yes, this is an adult book series so sex is an expectation of the genre. However, I think the negotiation of what sex looks like is always a bit of a question. This section also discusses sexual violence so if that isn’t for you, skip to the next section.

First, in many romantasies, our FMC is like 19 and has never even masturbated, let alone had sex. She relies on the older, more powerful, more experienced MMC to guide her through sex for the most mind-blowing orgasm of her life. Now, here’s the thing if you’ve never orgasmed in your life, the one our MMC is responsible for is of course the best one you’ve ever had. This framing removes the FMC’s agency. I actually liked in Quicksilver where Saeris tells us she masturbated thinking of Fisher (which should have just been on page, but oh well). It gives her some agency that she finds him attractive. I also liked that she’s 24 and has had sex before so using sex more carnally aligns with her character.

I’m also not opposed to characters being intimate before falling in love. That can be employed to have other complications or implications for our characters. For example, our characters have sex but still don’t really see eye to eye on an issue, ok, let’s negotiate what that looks like. An excellent example is Alexandra Rowland’s Yield Under Great Persuasion which opens with our characters having sex. One of our leads is a heinous dick and is convinced he doesn’t like the other lead. This whole miscommunication and misinterpretation are the drive of the entire book.

There can be some interesting conversations around sex, control, kink, and domination but it’s hard for me to root for two characters when one of them is so inexperienced and the power dynamic is so vast. Fisher tells Saeris that he could kill her if he fucked her the way he wanted. That’s insane and could be hot if they negotiated how they could safely have sex without his meat murdering her. For example, in A Fate Inked in Blood our FMC puts herself in control by cowgirling our MMC. By putting herself in such a position, it reinforces her character as someone strong and dominant and works to negotiate the power play between the leads. Sex should act as a way of reinforcing our characters and their actions. It’s fun set dressing too, but it needs to serve a purpose to propel the story forward.

I did appreciate that when Saeris and Fisher had sex for like the second or third time, he does check with her that she’s absolutely down to clown. I recently read Him by Elle Kennedy and Sarina Bowen, and the two MMCs negotiate every time they have sex. Those conversations are so critical and serve to reinforce the connection between the characters. It’s something I’d like to see more of in the romantasy genre. Sex can be an expectation of the genre, but it should tell us more about the characters.

Something that shows up in fantasy that should be discussed is sexual violence, whether as a threat or actual event. I’m not advocating for the removal entirely from books. I just think how it’s handled or used to explore a character can be…less than desirable. I find that sometimes, rape, especially against men is a gotcha moment or a way to make our invulnerable MMC vulnerable. It can feel like a cruel twist especially when it’s perpetrated by a man on another man. And yes, duh, this is a heinous thing to do, but like in Quicksilver, it’s used to emphasize that the Vampire King is incredibly evil. I got that though, from the murders and shit and didn’t need a surprise that the MMC was assaulted.

In ACOTAR, Rhysand’s sexual slavery is a major point of book 2 and something Rhys must accept and move beyond. Now, do I think he and Feyre recover a bit too quickly from their respective heinous shit? Yes. But it is something Rhys discusses with Feyre, has nightmares about, and must contend with for the rest of the series.

Two series that handle rape fairly well are Berserk and the All For the Game (AFTG) series. In Berserk, Guts is on page raped by his male guardian and gets his revenge by murdering him. In the AFTG series, Andrew is raped by his foster brother, mostly off page until an inciting incident during a Thanksgiving party, resulting in Andrew’s twin murdering his rapist. In both stories rape is used as a well to explore the characters identities and development. Both men have an aversion to touch and difficulty forming relationships with Guts struggling to have sex with Casca. The consummation of Guts and Casca’s relationship is central to Guts’ identity and character development. And makes later events in the story hit even harder. When Andrew and Neil start their relationship in book 3, Andrew and Neil must negotiate what sex can look like for them. Andrew allowing Neil to touch him, even non sexually, is central to his growth. There are also implications outside of these immediate relationships. For example, Aaron (Andrew’s brother) goes on trial for murder which has other implications for the story.

**As a side note, Berserk is one of the darkest pieces of media I’ve ever read. Not all of it has aged particularly well at all, but it is a pitch black grimdark fantasy that commits to its bottom line of extreme violence.

Did I like anything?

For me, one of the biggest redeeming part of the book was Palmini's narration which is so ridiculously gravely, it makes it fun. He's also clearly from the East Coast, when he says things like, 'water' as 'wa durr', I just giggle.

I also didn’t hate the idea of a magic silver for transportation purposes. That’s a fun idea and I would have liked to see it just go ham. Like, not only are there two worlds the human and fae, but maybe there are several more, and our characters use the quicksilver to go on a cross-world road trip to complete tasks or something. I did read the synopsis of book 2 and it sounds like this might exactly what book 2 might be, but between Fisher and Carrion. Which I think could work as a buddy copy type story. If the story turns into something like the Darker Shades of Magic trilogy that could also be cool.

I also was absolutely sure Fisher was going to have a knot when he said fae had 'extra body parts' and was pleasantly surprised when he had a normal (but of course, very large) dick. This for me was a huge win, because if he was fae, vampirish, and had a werewolf penis, I think I would have shriveled up and died.

Conclusion

Overall, this is not the worst book I’ve ever read or anything like that, and if you like it, that’s great. I just found the plot elements and structure so tired that it made copying and shuffling of other series transparent. This might be my breaking point for romantasy series because this is emblematic of the commodification of the genre. There is an expectation that these books need to be 500-1000 pages each, covering what I can only consider a full season of a television show, with the author able to churn out a new volume (or season!) every calendar year. It makes me harken back to the days of Syfy original series where each season was a relatively contained story with a larger one lurking in the background. Think of like Farscape, Eureka, or Warehouse 13. If romantasy goes in that direction—of comforting, escapist stories, that’s not a bad thing. But it does necessitate some breathing room for authors. The expectation that an author can write a satisfying series, with enough sexual content and fantasy set dressing is already a difficult task. Asking them to churn out volumes quickly to keep up with demand, is frankly unfair to authors. This is where copying and cribbing comes into play. If you want to get your books out the door fast, then the best way to do it is to either copy or publish an early draft that needs more time to bake.

Think of books like The Bone Season, Dark Rise, and The Locked Tomb, where each of the books take years to write and come out. And guess what, it’s fucking worth the wait.  

[ralexsol]

my brother, my sister, and i played the squid game board game earlier today, and we each had two different teams to play as. we like to have fun with putting our favorite characters into life-threatening situations (survivor and hunger games simulator, anyone?). naturally, i made one of my teams the beatles. the way the game works is you start with 7 characters on a single team, and then with each proceeding round (which there are 5 of, not including the 1st round), you add another. so my starting group was john, paul, george h, ringo, maureen, yoko, and linda. the other characters were pattie, george m, brian, mal, and eric. (i wouldve chosen olivia or cynthia instead of eric, but for some reason, the yellow team had more male tokens than female ones vs. my blue team which had a 8:4 female to male ratio, which i chose mlp for lol)

the 1st game is red light green light. paul goes out onto the field first boldly, being the confident prettyboy that he is. john follows close behind because he cannot let paul take all the glory. he is accompanied by yoko and ringo. unfortunately both paul AND john get taken out IMMEDIATELY, leaving the timid duo of ringo and yoko to move out on their own. the next duo is george h and maureen. and SUCCESS! ringo, yoko, george h, and maureen all make it through. unfortunately, as the last straggler, linda is also killed in the first round.

2nd round is the cookie game. the core four are joined by pattie. yoko chooses umbrella because she's quirky like that, while ringo chooses star because Hello. pattie and maureen team up on triangle while george h is like hm i think i will go with Circle because um Easy. and while pattie's unfortunately cracked, SOMEHOW. THE CORE FOUR ONCE AGAIN ALL MAKE IT TO THE NEXT ROUND, ALL IN THE SAME TURN.

3RD GAME! it's tug of war. the core four receive the new teammate of george m. this game i was really worried about george h because he got stuck on a team by himself, but all was successful. maureen and yoko stuck together while ringo joined up with my brother's Main Character (chase devinoux from carmen sandiego). YET AGAIN, the core four survive while george m fell into the abyss. look, i was just trying my best to keep them alive til the end at this point, even if it meant sabotaging any new characters.

next up is marbles. brian steps up to the plate. now, it's round 4, and this game involves a lot of chance rather than strategy. unfortunately, yoko loses a game of marbles to jordie, kaz's brother from soc (one of my sister's teams). but everyone else survives, including brian, so good for him! yoko was a real one. o7

now, the 5th game is FUCKING EPIC. ringo and maureen end up being 3RD AND 4TH IN FUCKING LINE. and guess who gets shoved up to the front? maureen. MAUREEN LEADS THE WAY AND SUCCESSFULLY GUESSES WHICH GLASS PLATE TO JUMP ON 3 TIMES. she only fails on the FUCKING 2ND TO LAST PLATE. i was so sad to see her go, she shouldve FUCKING ONE THE WHOLE GAME. IDEC ABOUT RINGO I NEEDED MAUREEN TO WIN. now the core two, ringo and george h both make it across, followed by brian again. mal joins in this round, but he doesnt even matter, im too focused on the others to bring him further than the first square, and he runs out of time.

the final game. tied for the 2nd largest team, the beatles are now a squad consisting of ringo, george h, brian, and eric fucking clapton. this is squid game. eric steps out first and is IMMEDIATELY stabbed to death. ringo decides to brave it. also gets shanked. brian makes a run for it and manages to get into the triangle zone, but is also killed by paperstar, another carmen sandiego character. finally, george h stands alone. he makes it to the triangle. he faces off with paperstar. and my stupid fucking ass accidentally pulls out the wrong card, playing a push instead of a shield. and i lose the whole game to the carmen sandiego team.

SO. beatles squid game au <3

[booksandwords]

Killing Gravity by Corey J. White

Series: Voidwitch Saga, #1 Read time: 1 Day Rating: 4/5 Stars

The Quote: I'm a spacewitch, I'm a goddess of death and destruction, and I start to laugh thinking of the look on Brigg's face. You think you know what you did to me? You don't know the half of it. — Mars

I picked up Killing Gravity on impulse at my local library while looking for a book to fit the adventure prompt for a reading challenge. I'm so glad I did. I personally found Mariam 'Mars' Xi to be a protagonist. She is angry, ruthless and powerful loyal while maintaining some traditionally feminine caring and empathetic characteristics. Honestly, I got strong Wu Zetian (Iron Widow) vibes at times. I found the plot to be an engaging and enjoyable ride. I wanted to know where it was going. I wanted to know what happened to these characters. The included violence and vengeance feels right. The universe Corey J. White has created for his characters is brutal. Especially the situations Mars came from.

The support cast is larger than I was expecting for a novella, it's not huge but there is diversity. It's queer and quirky and I adore it. Props to White for giving women the strength and control though. Because one of the other support characters, Trix, an amputee who we first meet in an exoskeleton and the Nova's main defender. The Nova is the ship that saves Mars from her critically damaged ship. The captain of that ship is so endearing to me. Squid is an enby but they feel like a bit of an anomaly. They are all soft power, meditation, near anti-gun and yet the captain, respected with ease by both Trix and Mookie. I get the feeling there is a terrifying spine to Squid we are yet to see. Mookie and Trix are poly or at least more than willing to share their bed. I can't really explain Mookie, he makes me smile. You'll get it if you read Killing Gravity. I really like computer AIs Waren and Einri. I looked up the name Einri, dual meanings Intelligent (from the Teutonic) and Rules the home (from the Irish). Can we acknowledge that Eirni is one of the best names for ship AI? Waren means Loyal (from the German). Given the arrangement Mars has with Waren that is important. Probably should mention Seven. Seven is Mars's pet (?), companion (?). From the descriptions, she kind of feels like part cat, part sugar glider. But she was a science experiment that Mars has had for most of her life. Loyal almost to a fault and but so, so adorable.

A random dump of thoughts and quotes.

I appreciate the explanation of the Wormhole physics. Fairly standard but it's nice to have a reminder now and then.

Mars talks to the reader, not breaking the fourth wall, she isn't aware she is fictional, but something close.

Ring One is where my people live. Well, not my people, but the closest thing I want to find: the freaks, the runaways, the perpetual wanderers, the organized crime, the genehackers, the bodychoppers, the digital-wannabes, the loose, the inebreated, the ones with the no common sense, no career and no desire for one, the fed up the fucked up and flamed out. The whole place is like a dangerous chemical concoction. You never know what might set off a reaction, and the threat of violence hangs in the air thick as the smell. — I just find this an appealing description of a group of people, the downtrodden and it definitely tells you whom Mars has lines herself with. That she is a survivor through and through, you don't get to consider these your people without that kind of survival trait. (Mars, p.37-8)

His chest is covered in tattoos—maroon and black ink, the tragically loyal fuck — You can almost hear the tone that belongs here. Okay, and I like the phrase tragically loyal fuck. (Mars, p.59)

"Smart-ass." "I thought Einri was sans personality." "No, just sans voice mod. I don't want some artificial voice construct convincing me Einri is a person. It's not a person, it's a ship. Without a voice mod it sounds like a ship I like things to be clear, you see?" — I find this quote interesting. I appreciate Squid's idea of delineation (because Einri really does have a personality). But that last line is kinda counter to part of their personality. They respected Mas' privacy and didn't push her to give answers. They have more sides than they admit. (Squid and Mars, p.70)

Euphemisms gain strength by hiding truth. Nothing is truth, nothing is reality, my mind contains multitudes, it contains universes, I contain multitudes. I am Mariam, I am Sera, I am every caretaker that ever had a hand in molding me, I am mold growing across every surface of Ergot. — I'm not sure why this appeals to me so much it's part of a whole section that has some really pretty phrasing that suits Mars' state at the time. (Mars, p.106)

[trowelaway-blog]

Something that never occurred to me when I was reading Stone Ocean, but that really popped out at me in the anime, was a certain thought about how the relationship between Jotaro and Jolyne parallels the relationship between Jolyne and Emporio.

Spoilers below the cut.

In her final speech to Emporio, Jolyne talks about all the sacrifices that people made to keep him safe, namedropping Anasui, Ermes, and Jotaro, but also including Weather and FF.

“Those who wished for your escape were Anasui, Ermes, and my father, Jotaro Kujo.”

But just before this, she explains why she’s sending him to safety, but she can’t follow:

“The priest can sense the Joestar in me. No matter where I go, I sense him, and he senses me to track me down.”

Is this not the very reason Jotaro was an absent father? In-universe, it’s because DIO’s followers and other Stand users kept giving him trouble (Stand users attract Stand users, as Jotaro says in DiU). But from a Doylist perspective, it’s because these main characters, most relevantly Jotaro and Jolyne, are doomed by the narrative: the narrative “can sense the Joestar” (the “protagonism”) within them. Anyone within their narrative is at risk - anyone who’s familiar with Jojo knows this well. So the hero must, tragically, leave their loved ones behind to keep them safe, to make sure that they are the only ones who are at risk - from their enemies in-universe, and from the narrative out.

“If I’m with you, you can’t get away.”

Jolyne entrusts Emporio with Weather’s disc, and therefore with saving the world. This is the contrast between her and her father: she passes on the burden to the next generation, whereas Jotaro made the mistake of trying to keep the burden to himself (note also that if Jotaro had succeeded in killing Pucci, he would also have kept the narrative to himself in the Doylist sense, in that a popular previous protagonist saves the day again). Notwithstanding the wisdom of delegating to an eleven-year-old in this situation - not that there was any other choice - Jolyne performs the ritual that her father never did for her.

“You have to survive. You are our hope.”

“I told you, I don’t understand!”

“No, you can’t...”

What are our children but our hope for the future? And what can we do for them but pass them our burdens as kindly and gently as we can, knowing that one day they will understand why we have cursed them with these responsibilities, as they pass it to their children?

Pucci is right that his Heaven would eradicate these burdens. But it would also eradicate any possibility of “growing up”, either for future children or for humanity as a whole (compare here the Rock Humans of part 8); it would eradicate any possibility of humanity changing fate through righteous and selfless action (compare parts 4, 5, and 8; Araki loves that idea). And, again from a Doylist perspective, it would ruin the concept of fiction to know exactly how a story goes as soon as you pick up a book or turn on a movie.

God, I have so many thoughts about Jojo, but especially parts 6 and 8, both of which are criminally underrated. Later I’ll post my rant about why SO is not appreciated as the postmodernist masterpiece it is. Eventually I’ll get around to finishing my rant about why it’s a postmodernist masterpiece specifically.

[getoutofmyjaneway]

Since Star Trek Voyager is Leaving Netflix, Here are 10 Episodes that you Should Watch Before the End of September

1. The Cloud

The Cloud is a great example of the early dynamic between the main cast. This bottle episode shows a very Star Trek episode dealing with some space creature they accidently harm, and being oh so very Starfleet, they assist. That, of course, is not why you watch this episode. It has some pretty great comedic moments, the iconic “There’s coffee in that nebula,” moment, and (if you can over look the cringy and incorrect portrayal of Native American culture) great moments that will let you better get to know the character we love.

2. Tuvix

Tuvix is was created when there was a transporter accident fused Neelix, Tuvok, and some plants together to create a new single sentient being. Tuvix loves being himself but ultimately it was decided by Captain Janeway that they would be separated back into there original beings. This episode is not only thought provoking, but has been the basis for many discussions of morality on a broader level. It is an interesting thought experiment that is so very Star Trek in nature - it is a don’t miss in my book.

3. Before and After

You remember Kes yes? She was definitely not given the most to do throughout the run of Voyager, but this is her best story by far. This story sees Kes aging backwards through death to birth, giving us a full picture of her life. This also brings us some of the very seldomly seen foreshadowing in the series, eluding to the Year of Hell (we’ll talk about that soon) and Tom and B’Elanna’s relationship. This is how I choose to remember Kes (we don’t talk about Furry).

4. Year of Hell Part 1 and 2

Yeah you knew this was going to be on here. There is a reason this is on most peoples lists of top Voyager episodes. And yes, I know I am cheating by putting both episodes on the same spot on my list, but like Janeway, I make my own rules. This is the most action packed two-parter in the series, serving as a kind of what-if scenario if the Voyager crew went down a more dangerous path. It ultimately ends with the ever present “Voyager-Rest-Button” but this is the best use of it. This is the most bad-ass episode by a long shot, also giving great character interactions, as well as commentary of grief and family.

5. Living Witness

This one is for all of my TNG lovers out there, you will love this one. Living Witness sees the Doctor’s program ending up in an alien museum in the distant future where an exhibit shows the species interactions with the crew of the Voyager. It is up to the Doctor to clear the name of his crew, and himself. This is amazing commentary of how history can be warped by those that recount it. Of course I also enjoy the absolutely savage portrayal of the Voyager crew - you can tell they had a good time with this one. Overall, this is a story you could only see on Voyager and is excellently done.

6. Timeless

This episode is iconic. If you have seen media referencing Voyager, you have most likely seen the image of the Voyager crashing into an ice planet in some amazing for its time CGI (that holds put pretty dang well even today). This is a strong episode for both Chakotay and Kim, two of Voyagers other most under used characters, seeing them try and create a slipstream with the Delta Flyer to get home. While the Delta Flyer is ultimately successful in this, the Voyager and the rest of the crew ends up dead. Chakotay and Kim take it upon themselves to change the events of the accident.

7. Counterpoint

There is a reason that this is Kate Mulgrew’s favorite episode (other then the fact that she gets to kiss an alien). This is Janeway at her absolute best - intelligent, cunning, and a master of her craft. This sees Janeway help a group of telepaths cross a region of space where a xenophobic ruling body does not allow them. After frequent inspections, Janeway takes in a defector from the xenophobic race, who tries to get her to divulge her secrets. She, however, was always one step ahead of him in a brilliant power play that I can only describe as spicy.

8. Someone to Watch Over Me

Someone to Watch Over Me is a story about what it means to be human, a theme often discussed in Star Trek. This sees the Doctor, a hologram, show Seven, a woman rebuilding her sense of self after spending most of her life in the borg collective, teach her what he has learned about relationships. It’s like the blind leading the blind, or in a more Star Trek example, the blind teaching an Andriod how to paint. Throughout their time together, they both seem to teach each other a lot - Seven gains many incites into how to be more human and the Doctor learns what it is like to be in love. A heartwarming episode.

9. Collective

Members of Voyager’s senior staff are abducted by the borg... children. Five who have been separated and awoken from there maturation chamber struggle between being borg and being individuals. This is, however, not a borg story, it is a story about being human. As Seven was saved from the collected, she went through a transformation under the guidance of her friends family and now it is time for her to help these children in the same way.

10. The Void

After becoming trapped in a Void with no way of escape, they soon find that ever ship is out for their own in this region, everyone stealing what they need to survive. It becomes a battle of morals - do you take back from those who have stolen from you and then some? Do you use what has been stolen from others for your personal gain? Where do you draw the line for the sake of survive. The Voyager spearheads a mini federation type alliance of sorts, finding strength in unity and numbers, and, in the end, it is the understanding of others that allows for the Voyager and the members of the alliance to escape

These are not necessarily the best episodes of Voyager, but I think these are episodes that you can watch on their own with no other knowledge of Voyager to really get a feel for the series and the characters. Of course, I would love to know what other episodes you would include. Personally, I would have loved to include episodes like Course: Oblivion, Author Author, and Dark Frontier, but out of context, these episodes will give that Voyager flavor we all know an love.

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

[alwida10]

Overview of Storytelling problems in the Loki series

Characters are suddenly acting entirely different in comparison with events that were in-universe just moments ago without giving any explanation at all: Loki climbs on a stone to talk down to the Mongolians (= acts pathetic and ridiculous) in comparison to him facing real threads like iron man being calm and with the thread-appropriate posturing (= acts badass and in-control).

Changing the characterization and/or the character’s motives retrospectively: in Avengers Loki’s motive was that Thanos pressured him into invading earth (torture signs, the other threatening and hurting Loki on-screen). In the Loki series it suddenly was because of his glorious purpose which never even had that much weight before. As far as I remember it was mentioned once in the Avengers, but neither in Thor 1, 2 or 3.

Major events not getting any further attention as soon they fulfilled their purpose for the plot: Sylvie bombing the sacred timeline and causing all those branches never gets talked about again, after it was supposed to be a major fallout. Also, we never get the explanation what exactly caused the nexus event on Lamentis.

Telling the audience what they have to believe instead of showing the character’s actions and let the audience come to their own conclusions: in episode 1, Loki pushes his (newly redconned) motivation in the audiences faces to make sure nobody can question it. This includes all those little things we are only being told and are supposed to accept without question, like the fact people supposedly stop aging in the pruniverse since kid loki was there longest.

The main character feels passive and only gets dragged along by other characters and/or the plot: up to episode 4, Loki does not show any motivation that goes beyond survival. After episode 4, he supports Sylvie‘s motivation, which still doesn’t give much flavor on his part.

The main character has no effect on the plot: the TVA!Loki has in fact that little impact on the plot that Sylvie would have gone through the same storyline without him being there. The only difference would be that she would have been there one episode earlier, because she wouldn’t have gotten stuck on Lamentis.

Writing a redemption arc without addressing why the character fell from grace in the first place: A redemption arc needs the audience sympathize with the character to forgive their actions. Without giving the characters motivations for the evil deeds the new behavior can only cover the former misdeeds but never erase them. Oh, also this bears the very real change that you never understood what the character has to be redeemed for and end up redeeming something that never even happened or mattered in the first place: Loki being mistreated by his family or tortured by Thanos never gets mentioned.

Failing to show well-defined characterization, subsequently causing pale, muddy characters: until the end of the series it‘s still not clear if the TVA is ‚good‘ or ‚bad‘. Mobius regretting what he was done in episode 5 feels empty because we never realized he did something ambivalent. Characterizations need to be shown clearly and make an impact. If someone does bad things those should be shown as bad. But Sif kicking Loki where it hurts most isn’t even shown as something bad. Neither is Mobius treatment of Loki shown as bad. The only scenes where it was entirely clear who‘s the bad guy where Sylvie‘s (her kidnapping in childhood, her killing the Minute men).

Double standards - heroes are forgiven the same actions the villain gets condemned for: Loki wanting to take away people‘s choices is baaad, but when Kang does it, it’s a good thing. Arguably, this point could also be attributed to failure No. 8.

Deus Villain ex machina - the villain should be introduced early on the show without being revealed to be the villain. Otherwise it‘s simply boring. Kang suddenly appearing and telling everyone it has been him all along? Please. That’s just an cheating those who are trying to keep to think along.

Forcing aspects that aren’t plot relevant for the sake of including them: this is true for the bi-representation and the genderfluidity representation that seemed to be included only to allure the part of the audience that wished for them. The problem is - people will notice if your heart isn’t in a part and likely feel worse than they would have entirely without those parts. In the end none of those parts felt important or even sincere. But representation has to come on top of well characterization and not instead of it. Otherwise it remains empty lip service, like mentioning once there had been partners of both genders but never even looking at a man. And don’t get me started on the genderfluid representation. I’ll excuse the alligator, though.

Being boring: what even were the stakes in the series? I remember Loki being threatened with getting pruned once, but the rest was more or less left for us to fill out? Yeah, so entire time lines got pruned? I won’t develop much empathy if we never get to forge an emotional connection to one before it gets blown away. You don’t have to go all George R.R. Martin, but a little investment wouldn’t have hurt. Also, this would have prevented point No. 8 and parts of No.9.

[akatsuki-shin]

REVIEW: 山河令 Shān Hé Lìng (Word of Honor)

Note(s):

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience.

This review is written by someone who has read the original novel, hence there will be reference and comparison between the two works

Summary:

After the sudden passing of his beloved master, young leader of the famous Four Season Manor, Zhou Zishu, brought his brothers and loyal followers to serve the Prince of Jin whose family had been the master of his predecessors, creating a secret organization of capable spies and assassins known as "Tian Chuang".

His decision later proved to be the downfall of his sect, however, for they were quickly swallowed into ruthless political conflicts and battle for power within the royal families, causing his brothers and followers to die unjustly one after another.

Ten years later, Zhou Zishu, now the sole survivor of the Four Season Manor, resigned from his position as the leader of Tian Chuang. In exchange for freedom, he bestowed upon himself the fatal punishment that is the "Nails of Seven Apertures for Three Autumns", a torture device created by Zhou Zishu himself that would gradually numb one's five senses and ultimately took their life within three years.

After several months passed, the now free Zhou Zishu had disguised himself as a wandering vagrant, enjoying his remaining time sightseeing, drinking, and sunbathing to his heart's content.

As fate would have it, however, his unshackled days abruptly ended when he saved a young boy, the only surviving descendant of the Mirror Lake Sect, one of the renowned Five Lakes Alliance, that was destroyed overnight by the mysterious ghosts of Mount Qingya. He was soon pulled into a conflict of the pugilist world dating back to twenty years ago, revolving around a legendary "Glazed Armor" said to hold the key to a secret armory filled with the secret techniques of martial sects from all over the world.

To further complicate matters, he somehow caught the interest of a strange young man of mysterious origin, Wen Kexing, who pursued him relentlessly with unknown motive.

---------

Before we get into it, I feel that it is worth to mention some of the major differences between the novel and live action because they do affect my impression and judgment over several points in the drama.

While there are always bound to be differences between an adaptation and its original works, most of these differences seem to have been made to avoid censorship, also in order for the drama to be able to become a "stand-alone" story (since the original work is a sequel to another novel).

1. Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing

In the drama, they are later revealed to have once been martial brothers of the Four Season Manor due to the fact that Zhou Zishu's master saved Wen Kexing's parents when they were pursued by both the righteous sects of the jianghu and the ghosts of Mount Qingya over the key of the Glazed Armor.

In the original story, they were strangers to each other that have no relationship whatsoever prior to their coincidental meeting at Jiangnan.

2. Prince of Jin and Tian Chuang

Word of Honor is based on the novel "Faraway Wanderers" by Priest, which is a sequel to her previous novel "Lord Seventh".

Originally, the master that Zhou Zishu and his Tian Chuang served should be the Emperor himself, Helian Yi, an important character from Lord Seventh - in which Zhou Zishu also made a major appearance. After Zhou Zishu punished himself with the nails and left Tian Chuang, Helian Yi and the Tian Chuang never pursued him. The story follows Zhou Zishu's journey in the jianghu and he never once went back to the capital city where Helian Yi was.

In the live action, Zhou Zishu and Tian Chuang served the Prince of Jin, a royal family tangled in internal strife for power. From what I understand, Prince Jin seems to have an ambition to overthrow the ruling Emperor to become one himself. After Zhou Zishu left, he kept an eye on him and later managed to capture Zhou Zishu, briefly bringing him back to the Jin as a prisoner.

3. The Scorpions

In Word of Honor, the Scorpion King Xie-er was portrayed as the adopted son of Zhao Jing, the main villain of the story. All the plots he devised, most of them were made with Zhao Jing's interest in his mind. There were also four remarkable assassins working under him (I don't remember their names, but you know who I mean, right?).

Originally, the Scorpions are an independent assassin group. Their relationship with Zhao Jing is that of client and service provider. The Scorpion King had his own plan to benefit himself and his organization with only his own interest in mind. There were no particular members of the Scorpions featured in the story other than him. Specifically, the Phantom Musician Qin Song was an independent assassin hired to kill Zhang Chengling, and he was believed to be dead after being defeated by Zhou Zishu on his very first attempt.

4. The Ten Ghosts of Qingya

Although the novel did mention the existence of the Top Ten Ghosts, only 4 (four) of them actually appeared in the story:

Xue Fang the Hanged Ghost (who was secretly killed by Wen Kexing in the beginning of the story, both in the novel and drama)

The Long-tongued Ghost who was also killed by Wen Kexing when he and Zhou Zishu were trapped underground in the graveyard (Zhao Family's Funeral Home in the drama)

Sun Ding the Delighted Mourning Ghost, one of the strongest ghosts who wanted to overthrow Wen Kexing's position as Ghost Valley Master; he was later killed by the Scorpions

Lao Meng (I forgot his title), also one of the strongest ghosts who wanted to overthrow Wen Kexing, but he was more lowkey and calm; he worked together with the Scorpions to first kill Sun Ding (his rival) and later to kill Wen Kexing when the jianghu heroes came to attack the Ghost Valley (although he didn't know that the Scorpion King had his own plan, hence meeting his demise during the war)

Wu Chang and his two henchmen, the Tragicomic Ghost, the Laughing Ghost, etc do not exist in the novel.

Additionally, Liu Qianqiao is also not part of the ghosts in the novel. She did have an affair with Yu Qiufeng and was manipulated by him until she died horribly in the hands of the two old couple (whose names I also forget).

5. The Ending

I think this is probably the biggest difference between the novel and the live action.

Originally, Zhou Zishu's nail wounds were removed and healed completely by Wu Xi AFTER the final battle at Mount Fengya (yes, the mountain's name is slightly different). He, Wen Kexing, Zhang Chengling, Jing Beiyuan, and Wu Xi lived temporarily at the top of Mount Changming because they need cold temperature for the healing method to work.

Wen Kexing did not sacrifice his life to restore Zhou Zishu's meridian and they did not become immortal.

Also, the Scorpion King was killed by Zhang Chengling and Gao Xiaolian after he got his hand chopped of by Zhou Zishu for trying to murder the already dying Wen Kexing (after he took his revenge on Mo Huaiyang).

There are of course, still many more differences, including when and where Cao Weining died, but the five things I mentioned above are probably the biggest ones because they directly impacted the entire plot.

---------

STORY: 8/10

Despite the changes and adjustments, the main plot of SHL amazingly remains loyal to the original story. The things they could not show, they would include it in the characters' dialog or tried to incorporate it in another way. Some examples:

Cao Weining and Gu Xiang's reincarnation story was included in Cao Weining's dialog (his dream and his wish to grow up together with her in their next life)

Wen Kexing's confession about wanting to build a grave for his parents from the Extra Chapter (where he cried and caused Zhou Zishu to let him top out of sympathy) was included in Wen Kexing's dialog when he got drunk and hugged Zhou Zishu after he defeated Zhao Jing (prior to Cao Weining and Gu Xiang's marriage)

In fact, I feel that most of the adjustments made to the story were able to deliver much better emotional aspects and intensity of the characters and important scenes.

Although more than half of the Ten Ghosts were made up solely for the drama, their existence was able to better portray Wen Kexing's image as the supreme leader of the Ghost Valley and why they all fear him.

Although many interactions between Zhou Zishu, Zhang Chengling, and Wen Kexing were either added or changed from the novel, here we could see them as a real, close family which is so much more heartwarming than the original.

Zhao Jing's pretense, evil deeds, and downfall were all arranged neatly from the beginning. If I hadn't read the novel, I probably would've been (pleasantly) surprised when it was revealed that he was the one plotting everything behind the scene.

The romance and relationship development of the main pairing (Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu, although it was masked as brotherhood as always) and side pairing (Cao Weining/Gu Xiang) were especially well done. It allows me, as the audience, to get to know them, sympathize with them, and ultimately rooting for them (despite already knowing how Cao Weining and Gu Xiang would end up).

Gu Xiang's anguish and fury after Cao Weining died were shown so clearly. Her final fighting scene until her death was particularly moving.

Explanations and plot twists were spread evenly so there was no info dump. The plot development was enjoyable to follow from the beginning, even if the ending felt a bit rushed.

This was a bit difficult to describe, but even if sometimes I feel like "hmm, this character did not do this in the novel", when I was following the drama from the first to the last episode, everything flows smoothly and does not feel out of place. So I realized that even if what the characters did was sometimes different from the original story, it is still loyal to the plot and circumstances of the drama, which is why their adjusted words and actions still felt natural to see.

Also, when reading the novel before, I have one critic about the Glazed Armor and the armory itself being the center of everyone's fight, but in the end they didn't seem to have much importance, especially because the armory was never found and opened. At the very least, although it was due to ending change and pretty much rushed, in SHL the Glazed Armor was actually used and the armory was shown.

Though there were indeed a few things that I do not quite agree(?) with:

Tian Chuang is supposed to be a secret organization that does their job secretly, but why is it that they always light so many lanterns when launching their attack?

The bond shared between Zhou Zishu and Prince Jin was pretty clear, but I don't think it's detailed and deep enough for Prince Jin to consider Zhou Zishu his soulmate. Furthermore, from the beginning we've never been told about Zhou Zishu's family, but in the last few episodes suddenly there were talks about his father being branded a traitor because of some secret hidden in the armory. While the story makes sense, to put new information out of the blue when the plot was about to end feels somewhat strange.

Lastly, I understand that danmei adaptations always face a lot of restrictions, as in they were not allowed to have a blatant happy ending - so most either resort to tragedy or open ending (cmiiw). However, I still feel that Wen Kexing faking his death without telling Zhou Zishu was......kind of silly.

After their life was spared by Ye Baiyi, Zhou Zishu had already warned him not to act without telling him again. When he wanted to fake his death, Wen Kexing told almost everyone except Zhou Zishu, the reason being they shouldn't make Zhou Zishu fight since he was in the middle of recovery.

Zhou Zishu is a rational person, I strongly believe that he would understand if Wen Kexing explained clearly. Him not telling Zhou Zishu led to:

Zhou Zishu actually ended up fighting to save him

Zhou Zishu thinking his soulmate is truly gone and proceeded to choose a suicidal move in order to avenge his (fake) death

Honestly, while I still enjoy following this drama until the end, I feel that the cause of Zhou Zishu dying when he could've been saved by Wu Xi, and Wen Kexing ended up sacrificing his life to save Zhou Zishu, was a bit ridiculous because really, Wen Kexing brought it upon himself.

In regards to this, even if I'm happy the two of them ended up living happily ever after as immortals on the mountain, it makes Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi's existence almost pointless. They were literally included in the story of Faraway Wanderers to save Zhou Zishu's life from the nails. But here, other than providing shelter after the Four Season Manor was burnt down by Duan Pengju, I don't see any reason why they should be there.

CHARACTERS: 9/10

Perfect casts and perfect character portrayals, both from visual aspects and acting. Some may or may not necessarily look 100% similar to their novel description, but they managed to bring out the characters to life so well.

I've said before that most adjustments made to the drama were able to deliver much better emotional aspects and intensity, and this is especially true for the characters.

Honestly, when reading the novel, other than the few main characters, others did not leave a lot of impressions on me. I don't even remember what Zhao Jing was like when he was revealed as the true villain. Gao Chong's introduction was pretty good, but then we didn't hear much about him until he was finally declared dead. Shen Shen appeared only for one chapter and the next time I heard of him, he's already dead, too.

I love the novel, but really do have so many complaints about the characters in there. Fortunately, all of these flaws had been fixed in the drama, and boy they did it so well.

Some that I found amazingly written and shown:

Wen Kexing's emotional instability and his protectiveness whenever Zhou Zishu got hurt (good job, Gong Jun)

Zhou Zishu's rich emotions to those he hold dear (good job, Zhang Zhehan)

Zhang Chengling's character being more detailed and "alive", especially his diligence, growth, and occasional mischief; he was no longer just a useless dumb kid who can't do anything

Cao Weining and Gu Xiang's dynamic is so lovely

Zhao Jing's change from the seemingly weak guy to an ambitious, manipulative mastermind

Gao Chong, Shen Shen, and many other side characters were given enough screen time + sufficient important scenes so they weren't easily forgotten

Special shoutout and kudos to the actor who played Duan Pengju. I heard he was actually the Assistant Director, but because they didn't have much budget, he was casted to play this character and he did great 🥺 Thank you for helping the team to save hundred thousands yuan!

I don't really have any complaints about the character except when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing have just delivered Zhang Chengling to Zhao Jing, Zhou Zishu clearly didn't want to mention his name (Zhou Xu), but Wen Kexing went ahead and introduced the both of them. Somehow I feel that Wen Kexing's character wouldn't disregard Zhou Zishu's opinion so lightly.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 9/10

Although this drama did not have much budget to start with, literally the only complaints I have about it is so minor, like:

A few scene transitions don't look smooth

Repeated use of sets, e.g. Gao Chong/Zhao Jing's residence is the same as Prince Jin's Palace, the Secret Armory Interior is the same as Tian Chuang's prison - but this has been mentioned in an interview with the Director(?) that they indeed use similar sets for multiple scenes to save budget

Other than that, I only ever have good things to say about this drama.

The fighting scenes should be given million kudos. Save for the flying and gliding part (which still looks kinda awkward, but better than some other Chinese dramas I've seen), the actions were just so cool and intense??? From the angle, the slow motion, to the techniques that are unique and different for each character. They even perfectly showed Zhang Chengling's awkward yet correct implementation of Zhou Zishu's teaching.

Costume designs are top notch. The visual of the seven nails on Zhou Zishu's body looks so real. His disguise was also very well done, I almost couldn't tell it's the same actor.

Some CGI and animations could've done better, but overall everything looks nice. I'm especially amazed at the visual of Longyuan Palace.

OVERALL SCORE: 8.7/10

At this point, I don't even know how to end this post other than saying please watch it, guys. It's a really well done job despite their limitations and restrictions. I've watched several Wuxia/Xianxia dramas before this and Word of Honor surprisingly exceeded every single one of my expectations. I enjoyed watching it so much, and I believe you guys will like it, too.

An additional kudos from me personally, because you can tell how the team creating this drama knows and appreciates the original author's works. It's a pleasant surprise when they incorporated a few things from Priest's other novel:

From Sha Po Lang: Zhi Liujin (the fuels used for the puppets in Longyuan Palace) and the Mechanical Birds used by Tian Chuang + Ping An Manor to deliver letters

From Silent Reading: The puppy that young Zhou Zishu and Zhen Yan played with, it was named after the cat owned by the main character of Silent Reading (also, fun fact, the name of Silent Reading's main character is "Wenzhou")

From Lord Seventh: Wen Kexing faking his death was exactly the same as how Wu Xi fooled the Emperor in order to "kidnap" Jing Beiyuan out of the capital.

Conclusion: Please watch it, guys.

[opbackgrounds]

so I was doing some research after watching movie 6...

...and apparently it was originally written as a comedy

Yeah, I was surprised, too

Baron Omatsuri is not my favorite One Piece movie—Film Z has too many of my favorite tropes to be usurped from that position—but I do think it is the most daring. Of all the supplemental material I’ve seen and read, it feels the least...One Piece-ish. 

Yes, that includes the noodle commercials. 

If you haven’t seen the movie and can stomach a little spookiness, do yourself a favor and give it a watch. Unlike movies like Strong World or Z that have the look and feel of a manga arc, Movie 6 transplants the Straw Hat Pirates into a world that doesn’t feel like a One Piece story, taking risks and exploring themes that would never fit in the manga proper. 

In addition to the obvious changes in art and animation style, there are supernatural elements that don’t make sense within the One Piece world. None of the Straw Hats win a fight—Luffy included, although he is heavily implied to have killed the big bad at the end. The moral of the movie, if it can be said to have a moral, is if you lose the people closest to you, the answer is to forget about them and make new friends. The story ends with many questions left unanswered and the main drama between the crew unresolved.

And, if you allow me to get philosophical for a moment, I wish there were more movies like it. As I wrote in my review of Novel A, I don’t go to supplemental material or side stories looking for a repeat of what’s in the manga. Oda has written 1000 chapters of One Piece—why not spice things up a little and try something different for a change?

I know the answer isn’t that simple, and by their very nature not all risks will pan out. There will be people who don’t like this movie because it’s different, both in look and tone. But there’s something to be said about a creator putting their heart and soul into a work and having it show in the final product. 

Which brings us back to the original premise. How does a movie go from a light-hearted comedy based on a variety show theme to...this

Baron Omatsuri was directed by Mamoru Hosoda and came out in 2005. To put that into perspective, the movie was in production when the Luffy vs Usopp fight was first seen in the manga. Manga!Luffy had not yet faced the challenge of an inter-crew disputes when the story was being written and boarded, nor did the creative team have the events of Sabaody and Marineford to see how Luffy would react to the loss of his loved ones. They were working without a full understanding of Luffy’s character, and to a lessor extent the character of the Straw Hat Pirates, and it seems like Oda was much less involved In production than has been in movies since Strong World and beyond. 

Likewise, Hosoda had just left a tumultuous situation at Studio Ghibli while working on Howl’s Moving Castle, and if this interview is anything to go by (https://instrangeaeonsblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/mamoru-hosoda-on-omatsuri-danshaku-animestyle-interview-part-1/) was going through a lot of personal shit when he was brought on as director. The script he was given was originally written like a variety show—something that was carried over into the various trials seen in the final movie—and meant to be a lighthearted affair after the relatively serious Movie 5 (which I have not seen am thus unable to compare tone). 

With that backstory in mind, it’s easy to see how the bickering and backbiting between the Straw Hats early in the movie is a metaphor for Hosoda’s time at Ghibli, which is something he admits to in the interview. Movie 6 feels different than any other One Piece movie because it’s the project of a man who has had to endure the loss of those who he was close with, at least in a professional capacity. 

There are moments in Movie 6 where Luffy doesn’t feel like Luffy. More than once a member of the Straw Hats ask him to intervene during arguments, moments Luffy either ignores or doesn’t notice. It’s a version of Water 7 where instead of fighting Usopp, Luffy ignores the underlying differences within his crew, and as a result loses everybody. 

The structure of the three trials follows a clear path of deterioration within the crew, the initial goldfish scooping game showing the Straw Hats at their best and inciting the jealousy of the Baron, the ring toss sowing discord among the crew even as they snatch a narrow victory, only for them to be utterly crushed in the third and final challenge as they’re unable help one another survive. 

It is somewhat implied that the Breaking of the Fellowship(TM) is magical in nature—that like the One Ring, the Lily Carnation was able to influence the Straw Hat’s thoughts and actions, but this is never stated outright and I prefer the more mundane interpretation: That without strong leadership the Straw Hats fell victim to the manipulative machinations of the Baron, and simply self-destructed as a result.  In the end, it’s up to the interpretation of the viewer. 

And speaking of things up to interpretation, I love how the Lily Carnation isn’t explained in the slightest. The plant that initially absorbs the Straw Hats looks more like the stem of a devil fruit than a flower, it for some reason rings like a gong when hit, and somehow is able to turn pieces of itself into facsimile of the Baron’s old crew who can somehow move around despite being plans. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and the element of the unknown works so well in the horror-lite setting. 

My personal theory is the island somehow managed to eat a devil fruit which manifests itself as the Lily Carnation (which due to the L/R conflation in Japanese, is pronounced ‘reincarnation’, which I think is a nice touch of foreshadowing that may or may not have been intentional).

(Also, I can’t decide if��little chewing animation it makes when it’s eating people or the weird bullseyes it makes when shit gets real are the most terrifying thing in the movie.)

Hmmm, tasty.

Anyway, this is getting long, so here are some final thoughts:

1) This movie has some low key fantastic outfits. The Straw Hats all look very cool without being over designed like a lot of recent movies. Big hat Robin is of course a fave, and makes me really want to see her in a Carmen Sandiego getup.

2) Screenshots do not do the animation of the movie justice. It’s very fluid and has a lot of excellent expressions/poses, although I admit the 3D is jarring at times. Do not let the art put you off if you haven’t seen it 

3) Also, I don’t think there’s any shading? Like at all? The movie does a lot of cool stuff with color instead. For example, the scene where Luffy initially loses to the Baron his skin goes all grey, and I thought it was because he was fighting at night, but it stays grey even in the better lighting of the underground tunnels and stays that way until he finds out the Straw Hats are still alive, where it returns to his normal color

4) There’s an extended Benny Hill-type gag when Luffy first chases after the little mustache pirate that’s perfectly timed to the music, and ends when Luffy just uses his power to grab him. The comedic timing is amazing and it’s probably my favorite funny moment in the movie, of which there are several despite the overall darker tone

5) The extended jungle shot from Nami’s POV? Very cool

6) I love how from the earliest scenes nothing is as it seems. The opening text is Robin reading the map, but the storm that’s seen on screen is the one that sank the Baron’s crew. Likewise the whole fancy city is shown to be fake panels early on, the goldfish catching game is a trap, etc., etc. It does a good job clueing the viewer in early that’s something’s very wrong on the island, even if they don’t realize it at first

7) I don’t think this type of movie would work in modern One Piece without somehow nerfing Luffy. Horror works best when the protagonist is weak and vulnerable, and that fits best with a pre-Gear 2/3 Luffy (same with the rest of the crew, tbh. I was waiting for Nami to use her lightning stick during the games, forgetting it hadn’t been boosted yet). 

8) I like how there are four captains on the island representing different levels of loss—the Baron has lost his crew and wants to destroy all others because of it, mustache pirate lost his crew and is willing to put it behind him to make new friends, Luffy has freshly lost his crew and hasn’t decided what path he will go, and coward dad hasn’t lost his crew yet but is at risk if he doesn’t change his cowardly ways

9) I think the reason why Chopper was the first Straw Hat to disappear is he’s the most likely to play the part of peacemaker. He’s also the only crew member needing rescuing at the end of the goldfish scoop game, when Luffy foolishly puts his life at risk trying to save him from drowning, just like he recklessly charges the Baron at the end of the movie. Except that time there was no Sanji to save him, leaving Luffy to get his ass thoroughly kicked

10) This is a very good Halloween movie, and I’m glad I watched it in October

[raeynbowboi]

Building the Titans as a DnD Party

A typical DnD party is best off being a 5-man band, with roughly five main roles to fill: the Tank, the Blaster (ranged damage), Healer, Stealth, and DPS roles, and the Teen Titans fit this very very nicely. So, I want to approach building the team as a cohesive unit. I’ve tackled building the characters independently, but some fall into a build in relation to other characters’ builds. The challenge here is to build the team to function nicely together as a unit.

ROBIN ( Party Role: Leader, Stealth, melee combatant)

Race: Human Background: Entertainer (Acrobatics, Performance) Classes:    Mastermind Rogue (12)    Battle Master Fighter (7)    Monk (1) Stats:    (SA) STR 11 DEX 20 CON 16 INT 14 WIS 20 CHA 9    (PB) STR 11 DEX 20 CON 16 INT 12 WIS 20 CHA 10 Skills:    Acrobatics    Deception    Investigation    Perception    Performance    Stealth Fighting Style: Dueling Battle Master Maneuvers:    Disarming Attack    Feinting Attack    Maneuvering Attack    Parry    Reposte Tools: Thieves’ Tools, Tinkerer’s Tools

With Robin’s subclasses, he can study an opponent and discern their HP, Level, AC, and any stat compared to his own, allowing Robin to be an expert in deducing the weaknesses of his adversaries. He also has the ability to give himself advantage, allowing Robin to make use of Sneak Attack damage even in a one-on-one fight. Robin’s 1 level in Monk is only there for the AC, and if you feel it’s unnecessary, he can drop it for another level in Fighter and another ASI or feat. This Robin excels at infiltration and finding clues like a classic detective, and with his maneuvering attack can reposition his party around the battlefield, moving injured allies toward Raven for healing, or helping melee fighters close the gap with enemies. Robin’s other maneuvers make him adept at creating openings in his enemies’ combat, such as making mages drop their spellcasting focus. If the DM is willing to rework Commander’s Strike maneuver to not be exclusively for melee attacks, letting Robin tell his party to attack instead of him can allow party members to exploit an enemy’s weaknesses that he can’t bypass himself, which is a good quality for a leader.

STARFIRE (Party Roles: Blaster, Tank, Talker)

Race: Protector Aasimar Background: Soldier (Athletics, Intimidation) Class:    Phoenix Sorcerer (20) Stats:    (SA) STR: 14, DEX: 12, CON: 18, INT: 10, WIS: 9, CHA: 20    (PB) STR: 14, DEX: 12, CON: 18, INT: 8, WIS: 10, CHA: 20 Skills:    Arcana    Athletics    Intimidation    Persuasion Feats:    Elemental Adept (Fire) Metamagic:    Empowered Spell    Heightened Spell    Quickened Spell    Twinned Spell

Between the boys who are all mostly melee combatants and Raven who is more of a support role, Starfire is the long-range magical powerhouse whose spell list is exclusively Fire and Radiant damaging spells. While Starfire lacks the superhuman strength she really should have, I figured her alien endurance was more valuable, as it made her able to get up and keep fighting harder. While I did in earnest consider a build where she’s an aasimar Brute Fighter or Zealot Barbarian (both of which would prioritize her super strength) while reducing her starbolts to the Firebolt cantrips she’d pick up with magic initiate, when it comes to party composition, the party already has Cyborg who tends to use physical combat more often than Starfire, despite her being stronger than him, as well as Robin and Beast Boy who are also close-range fighters. The party is better aided by her making use of immense magical power.

BEAST BOY (Party Roles: Utility, Wildcard)

Race: Longtooth Shifter Background: Folk Hero (Animal Handling, Survival) Class: Circle of the Moon Druid (20) Stats:    (SA) STR: 18, DEX: 20, CON: 12, INT: 8, WIS: 13, CHA: 14    (PB) STR: 18, DEX: 20, CON: 10, INT: 8, WIS: 14, CHA: 14  Skills:    Animal Handling    Nature    Perception    Survival

This one’s pretty straightforward. We need to turn into animals, a druid is the only way to do that. If you want to channel your Beast Within, feel free to do a 16/4 split and add some Barbarian levels with the Path of the Beast, but for standard Beast Boy, focus on wildshaping into the highest CR monsters that you can.

RAVEN ( Party Roles: Healer, Magic Utility, Diplomat)

Race: Asmodeus Tiefling (Variant: Winged Bloodline Tiefling) Background: Far Traveler (Insight, Perception) Classes:    Theurgy Wizard (Knowledge Domain) (19)    Rogue (1) STATS    (SA) STR: 8, DEX: 13, CON: 16, INT: 20, WIS: 16, CHA: 10    (PB) STR: 8, DEX: 14, CON: 16, INT: 20, WIS: 16, CHA: 10 Skills:    Arcana    History    Insight    Medicine    Perception    Religion

While the single level in rogue is not mandatory, it gives Raven the ability to have Expertise in two skills, letting her super charge her Insight and Perception. As Raven is an empath who can sense people’s emotions, read people like an open book, and even sense how many people are in a city on the other side of a bay, Raven’s extrasensory powers should be extremely impressive. So despite Raven not being much of a people person, her ability to sense emotions makes her invaluable as a negotiator and lie detector for her party, as well as scouting for lost children and fugitives. With her Wizard levels, Raven can have a truly staggering amount of spells, including abjuration shields, telekinetic spells to move objects, psionic blasts, messing with the senses or emotions of other creatures, and bypassing environmental hazards. With this extensive list of abilities, Raven becomes a veritable swiss army knife of dealing with problems. Between healing, defensive, offensive, and utility spells, Raven becomes insanely adaptable. While Psychic Soul Sorcerer and Fiend Warlock could work for Raven, those are CHA casters which steps on Starfire’s toes as a Sorcerer. So, Theurgy is the best way for Raven to be a healer, and makes her an INT caster. Knowledge not only gives her extra expertise skills, but it fits her character as the wise scholar of the party. Asmodeus, the Greater Deity of the Nine Hells, has Knowledge as one of his domains, allowing Raven to pray to him while fitting her character. Arcana is another good option, as it adds to her Wizard spell list and helps her break spell effects on her party, but at the loss of her extra expertise. Life Domain can also work if you’re leaning toward White Raven and making her a dedicated healer. Making Raven a Winged Bloodline Tiefling gives her the ability to fly endlessly, a good answer for her floating in the show, but not all DMs will allow it. Her WIS score can be lower, I used 16 to super charge her Insight and Perception checks, but if concentration and health matters more, she can easily get by with a WIS score of 14 or even 12.

CYBORG (Party Roles: Tank, DPS, Blaster)

Race: Variant Human (PB: +1 CON, +1 INT) (SA: +1 STR, +1 CON) Background: Athlete (Athletics, Acrobatics) Classes:    Brute Fighter (16)    Artillerist Artificer (4) Stats:    (SA) STR: 20, DEX: 11, CON: 20, INT: 18, WIS: 8, CHA: 12    (PB) STR: 20, DEX: 10, CON: 20, INT: 18, WIS: 8, CHA: 10 Skills:    Acrobatics    Athletics    Intimidation    Investigation    Perception Fighting Style: Unarmed Combat Feats:    Heavy Armor Mastery (V. Human) (+1 STR) Items:    Molten Bronze Skin (Plate)    Force Ballista (Tiny)

Some may cry foul that Cyborg is neither a Warforged nor a 100% Artificer, but Cyborg was born Human, that is is his racial identity. And with the Molten Bronze Skin from Theros, the metal can coat Cyborg’s skin so skin-tight that it can’t be removed, like having metal skin, making it a perfect parallel to Cyborg’s lore and character. While Starfire is physically the strongest Titan, she doesn’t tend to prefer physical combat, opting mostly for ranged combat with her starbolts, opening a spot on the team for the heavy-hitting melee combatant, where Cyborg comes in clutch. Between multiple attacks per round, and being able to fire his Force Ballista every bonus action, Cyborg walks away with about the same number of attacks per turn as a full level 20 Fighter as early as level 14. As a Brute, he’ll also add to the damage he deals with each punch, making Cyborg a serious bringer of pain. If your DM hates UA though, Champion works fine for him, it just doesn’t deal as much damage.

This party composition makes the Teen Titans extremely well-balanced, as every member of the party has a primary role, but also cover a wide variety of skills, play styles, and abilities. They’re diverse enough to be able to handle most anything as a unit, and can handle just about anything thrown at them in combat. There may be some shortcomings like that many creatures resist Starfire’s Fire magic, but her Elemental Adept can help with that, and her other party members can make up for her shortcomings in such fights.

[eyessharpweaponshot]

hi there!! are there any fics you’re reading right now that you would recommend? i need something good after the season we’ve been given so far 😣

hello there!

I agree, this season has been disappointing - especially considering it’s the last one. but thankfully, our fandom is full of amazing writers that serve us goods regularly. I have so much to recommend, it’s a joke. so prepare for a long fic rec. In no particular order, let’s begin:

1. Chasin’ You - @burninghoneyatdusk

okay. you’re gonna see a bit of a theme with me in these fic recs because the authors I mention are some of my favourites in the world - sam being one of the TOP TIER ones. this fic is a modern au, written about clarke and bellamy as exes (a favourite trope of mine) that have went their separate ways. clarke has moved away and hasn’t kept tabs on bellamy but he's soared to the top as a country star, his hit single being about her and what they had. if there’s any fic from this list you need to start reading, it’s this one.

2. Voices in the Water - @burninghoneyatdusk

It’s the canon version we all wanted. set on earth, clarke’s aunt (nia) forces her into an arranged marriage with king bellamy to unite the clans. but under it all, nia has tasked her to kill him. obviously, as clarke falls in love with bellamy, it’s the one task wanheda probably can’t complete. I'm in love with the imagery and descriptions in this fic. there are honestly some lines that sam writes that I want to frame and put up in my house. absolute brilliance.

3. All Because of You - @burninghoneyatdusk

*sheepishly raises hand* - hi, it’s me again, fangirling over another one of sam’s fics. if you have followed me for a while, either here or on twitter, you’ll have seen me screaming about this fic. I've pulled over while driving to read an update that came through to my email. no lie. I don’t say this lightly but it is definitely in my top 3 favourite bellarke fics of all time. sam DELIVERS with this one. bellamy knocks up his sister’s best friend when they’re both young and they grow together in raising their daughter. this fic flashes between present and future in the most seamless way and we see how in love they were back then but too scared to admit it, combined with how in love they are now that they are mature and older - but yet can’t seem to take the leap. I can’t tell you enough how good this fic is. I'm in love and it’s one of those fics that I would happily have as a book on my bookshelf, the pages worn and falling out from the amount of times that I re-read it.

*I just want to note that sam is doing a fantastic job at running @bellarkefic-for-blm. This is an opportunity for the bellarke community to directly support the Black Lives Matter cause through reading and writing fanfiction. For every fanfiction prompt a participating writer receives, they ask that you donate to an organization that supports the BLM cause. This initiative includes non-bellarke the 100 ships and requests for other content (e.g. gif sets, icons, moodboards, fanart). please check them out and request a prompt (this also includes updates for the above mentioned fics)*

4. Count Your Teeth - @icantloseyou-too

let me tell you, you guys will be well fed after reading this fic. It’s one of the most original idea’s and we get so much bellarke and the blake siblings in this one. bellamy is a treasure hunter and married to clarke, after leaving his thieving days behind him. that is until his past comes knocking and drags him back into that world again - and clarke along with him. absolute chefs kiss!

5. Cups and Sorcerers - @icantloseyou-too

again, such a unique plot with just the right amount of fluff. clarke is a witch who owns a coffee shop and she ends up meeting someone just as unique as her. I’m invested in this to an embarrassing degree and it always puts me in a good mood when this fic is updated. such a light and heart filling read and ciara does a fantastic job of world building in this fic.

6. Paint me in Trust - @pawprinterfanfic

I'm sure this fic needs no introduction. everyone and their mother has heard of it and if you haven’t read it yet, believe me, you’re missing out. a harry potter au that runs alongside the last few movies without being involved with the main characters. essie manages to make an already existing world so different, thrilling and gripping. it emotionally upends you and takes you along for the ride without any intention of letting you off. I'm just in love with it and rightly so!

7. When the Wolves Come Home - @pawprinterfanfic

I don’t know how people aren’t RAVING about this fic more because I certainly am. it’s massive for me to even say this because I love all of essie’s work but it’s my favourite fic that she’s written. I can’t describe the feeling I get when I read how she’s written bellarke in this. it’s a percy jackson au but you don’t need to have knowledge of that world to enjoy this. I actually started reading the books because of this fic. essie writes it so well and incorporates a lot of fantastic elements from greek mythology while also keeping me on the edge of my seat with bellarke’s journey. HERE FOR IT ALL THE WAY.

8. I’ll Find You in the Morning Sun - @cominguproses13x

I’ve never seen a fic talked about as much as this one. with 60 chapters, it’s bound to satisfy any hunger you have for bellarke. it’s set in a post apocalyptic world and it is beyond a shadow of a doubt, my favourite setting to read bellarke in. I've actually stopped reading this fic on chapter 5 because im currently writing my own post apocalyptic au as it was a trope on my bingo card and I don’t want any subconscious spill over, but I fully intend on reading the rest of the fic in one go once my fic is published and done. it deserves all the praise and hype.

9. For Blue Skies - @kombellarke

kayla’s fics make me actually weep. her writing style is just unbelievable and she sucks me into stories so fast. this one is no different. I live and breathe for bellarke as exes and this fic is one of my favourites. it’s a modern au with clarke as a mother and she cascades back into bellamy’s life without warning. perfect angst and anticipation. in love.

10. Love Like Fools - @talistheintrovert

the way I love talis with my whole heart. I'm always obsessed with her fics and the way this one was written was just magnificent. enemies to friends to lovers, roommates, angst, emotional comforting? SIGN ME UP. the perfect mix of all of those and I felt so good after reading this. always a fan.

11. It Had To Be You - @useyourtelescope

I had the honour of pre-reading some of this fic before it was published and I felt so privileged. a regency au with a prank war sprinkled in? perfection. hana honestly writes this so beautifully and I can’t recommend this enough. it’s so unique and we are all so incredibly lucky that there’s something in the bellarke fic world for everyone.

12. Veni, Vidi, Vinci - @carrieeve

Again, proof of the pudding that there’s something in fic for everyone. I’ve never read one like this before and it THRILLED me. murphy and bellamy working together to steal a Vinci? it was the fic I never knew I needed. the bellarke interaction in this was beautifully written and I am just completely obsessed. we really struck gold with the bellarke big bang works this year.

13. A Twist of Fate - @queenemori

let’s be honest, soulmate au’s are always wanted and needed in this fandom and kara does an excellent job of serving us this one. we got some team cockroach in here along with some top tier quality bellarke. what more could you ask for? if you haven’t read this fic yet, you need to. so thankful for kara being the absolute gifted babe that she is.

14. Power Over Me - @sparklyfairymira

okay, if you recently watched the witcher on netflix like I did, believe me, you NEED to read this fic. if you haven’t watched the witcher, this fic will make you want to watch it. the smut in this, the plot, the WRITING. absolutely phenomenal. have I mentioned how lucky we are to have such fantastic writers in this fandom?

15. There’s a Serpent Lying Deep Down in These Still Waters - @shaeheda

post apocalyptic au? SIGN ME UP. bellarke thrown together in unkind circumstances? SIGN ME UP. this magnificent human writing a fic? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. I'm so in love with this fic already and I haven’t even finished it yet. as I've said, I've stopped reading fics in this genre until my own is completed but I’ve read enough to tell you that this needs to be on your next to read list. forever in awe of the talent here and this fic makes me feel so lucky to be part of something so great.

I hope this satisfies you for a while and that you enjoy all the bellarkey goodness that comes from these fics. I'm gonna drop some of mine below because why not? just in case you’re in need of something more.

1. I Found Peace in Your Violence

clarke griffin has it all. she’s popular, an artistic prodigy and has a wealthy family to boot. so when her perfect world comes crashing down around her, it’s time to sink or swim. she tests positive for the Homicidal Tendency Syndrome gene, also known as the kill gene. clarke is plucked from her comfortable life and placed into a school with people just like her - carriers, delinquents. when she meets bellamy blake there, he looks like everything they say HTS carriers are. a monster, a criminal. yet, he’s the one who protects her.

2. I Am Lost This Time

a void!bellamy fic that we all deserved to have happen in canon. an au where bellamy hears clarke’s radio calls from earth, sees her memories in m-cap and where she really is the key: the one that unlocks his memories and brings him back to her.

3. Purple, Blue, Orange, Red

bellarke are childhood friends and teenage lovers, reuniting in the midst of the same grief that tore them apart.

4. Devil Side

post apocalyptic setting and my favourite fic to have ever written. both of them coming together to survive and protect those in their family, including two small children. bellarke started out as strangers, who would have thought that they’d end up co-parenting in the middle of a world that is too dangerous to survive out in the open?

5. Waste It on Me

a soulmate/reincarnation au that I wrote based off my own breakup and feelings. probably my most popular fic and should keep you going in terms of bellarke feels.