#both for a request and for myself ive been wanting to draw them for a while! double win

[sopuu]

some sticks on your puter

[nahoney22]

Hello! I absolutely love love LOVE your work. I be rereading on here and on Ao3 and your writing is just phenomenal!! I wanted to know if I can please request an NSFW fem reader x Hunter.

Reader is mad or annoyed with “The Great Sergeant of clone force 99” always on top of her ever since she joined the batch like how she almost got injured but it was only Hunter’s overprotectiveness that might have been the problem and at some point they get in to a really heated argument on the Marauder where she wants to leave the batch and Hunter will be glad because he doesn’t have to look after someone…. until something snaps between them and all hell breaks loose. Even hidden feelings are let loose lol. Also, there’s this song that I picture it with for some reason. It’s “when you coming to see me?” by Mawr if you wanna take listen :).

Anyways, again I love your work and ive never requested something to anyone before so idk if the request is well written and/or too long😅 but i know you can execute it so well if you decide on accepting my request. Thank you!!!! ♥️♥️♥️

Later’s Better Than Never*** 🌊

🫧 Pairings: Hunter x Female!Reader

word count: 3.6k

prompts: none

When tensions finally reaching breaking point, your need to leave becomes evident. Hunter however makes it harder than it should be.

warnings: NSFW, 18+ only. Female reader, explicit sexual content and language, dirty talk, light dom!Hunter, very light breathplay ie choking, fingering, finger sucking, cum eating, oral ie blowjob, p in v sex, enemies to lovers, mutual pining, love confessions, Hunter is overprotective, light angst, arguing, not proofread.

authors note: Sorry for the wait my lovely @lamiliani, enjoy, I hope this is okay! 🩵

Hunter had been unbearable since the mission briefing.

The plan was straightforward: infiltrate a high-stakes gala, seduce the host, and extract crucial information about a new Imperial weapon. The client you were working for had specifically chosen you for this task after witnessing your charisma and capability. The rest of the squad respected and trusted you, but a certain Sergeant seemed determined to undermine your confidence at every turn.

"Remember, stick to the plan," Hunter ordered for what felt like the hundredth time as you adjusted your attire in the Marauder. The sleek dress you wore was perfect for the gala, accentuating your figure in a way that was both elegant and seductive. Which was a total change considering your normal attire of battered and worn armour and civvies that were desperate for a good wash.

You sighed, your patience wearing thin. "I know the plan, Hunter," you retorted, turning to face him. The frustration in your voice was evident.

Hunter's eyes bore into yours, a mix of concern and frustration etched into his features. His jaw was set, the muscles in his neck tense. "One slip-up, and it could all go wrong. We can’t afford that."

You narrowed your eyes, knowing he was referring to the time when the plan had not gone exactly as intended. It had been a life-or-death situation, but you had learned from it. Besides, the only person you had put in danger was yourself, so you didn’t understand why he was still bitter about it.

"That 'slip-up' was months ago," you shot back, your temper flaring. "I’ve proven myself since then."

"I’ll believe it when I see it." Hunter’s tone was cold as he stormed off into the cockpit, leaving you staring daggers at his back. How insufferable could one man be?

You took a deep breath, trying not to let it get to you. You mentally and physically prepared yourself, going over the plan in your head with determination. You had this.

It was just a shame someone else didn’t think so.

The gala was in full swing. You slipped into the crowd as planned, your eyes on the target. You were enticing and seductive as you engaged him in conversation, your charm drawing him in instantly. Everything was going according to plan as he began to let slip his plans.

Then Hunter appeared.

His sudden arrival, a shadow in the background, disrupted your focus. The target noticed your concerned distraction, suspicion flickering in his eyes. Before you could salvage the situation, a gentle hand on his arm to draw his attention back to you, his arm wrapped around your neck into a chokehold as alarms started to blare, and chaos erupted.

Cursing under your breath, you freed yourself with ease and struck a punch straight to his gut before ducking to cover as blaster fire whizzed past your head. Everything happened so fast and so slow at the same time. You barely managed to escape with the others, the mission a total failure. And this time, you refused to let it be seen as your fault.

Back on the Marauder, you let everything out. You marched up the gangplank, ripping the bangles off your wrists and the pins that had secured your hair in place, tossing them across the ship carelessly. You let everyone file in, steam practically blowing out of your ears as your eyes landed on the Sergeant.

"What is your problem? Why can’t you trust me?" you yelled as soon as the ramp closed behind you, your voice echoing through the ship. Your chest heaved with the effort of keeping your anger in check, your hands trembling slightly.

"You weren’t getting the job done!" Hunter growled, his tone dripping with frustration. His eyes were dark, his brows furrowed in anger. "You just stood there twirling your drink around all night."

You stared at him in disbelief, looking to the others who avoided eye contact at all costs. "I wasn’t doing anything? Hunter, he was about to tell me his plans, and then you just swooped in like you have some damn savior complex."

His jaw tightened, the tension in the air thick enough to cut. "Maybe if you weren’t so reckless in the past, I could have let you get on with it."

"The client wanted me to do it. I wasn’t being reckless!" You seethed, turning red in the face. Your fists clenched at your sides, nails digging into your palms. "One mistake, Hunter! Just one!" You stepped closer, your voice low and dangerous. "How many times do I have to prove myself?"

Hunter’s eyes narrowed, his fists just as tightly clenched as his jaw. His breath came in short, sharp bursts. "You don’t get it, do you? One mistake is all it takes to get you killed."

His words cut deep, a mixture of anger and hurt swirling within you. Your heart pounded, each beat echoing your frustration and the feeling of being made to feel useless. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, a mix of rage and something more primal simmering just beneath the surface.

"Guys, stop it!" Omega’s voice trembled, her distress clear. Her eyes were wide, shimmering with unshed tears.

Echo placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Let’s give them some space," he said softly, leading her towards the exit with Tech and Wrecker following. "They need to sort this out." He looked at both of you with a stern gaze before he left.

As the door closed, sealing you in the Marauder alone with Hunter, silence fell.

Finally, you both started to speak at once, voices overlapping. Hunter gestured for you to go ahead, his expression begrudging.

"I’m tired of this, Hunter," you began, your voice steady despite the storm inside you that was waiting to tear this ship apart. "Tired of you treating me like I’m not good enough. If this is how it’s going to be, maybe I should leave."

Something flickered in his eyes—hurt, anger, maybe something more—but he masked it quickly. "Maybe you should go," he said, his voice rough. His expression was a mixture of frustration and something else, something softer. "I am done having to watch over you, babysitting you."

You scoffed at him, shaking your head in disbelief. "Has it ever come to your attention that maybe you’re the problem?" You pointed at his chest, your finger almost digging into the fabric of his shirt. "You’re weighing this whole team down recently, and I want to know why."

"There’s nothing wrong with my leadership," he snapped back, his voice sharp. But as he spoke, the space between you seemed to shrink. You were close, so close. His breath was hot on your skin. "You just don’t know how to be careful."

Your heart raced, the anger giving way to a heated flush spreading through your body. The proximity was intoxicating, his scent, his presence overwhelming your senses. You could feel the tension morphing into something you never thought you’d feel.

His breath was on your skin, his presence overwhelming. "Say the word, Hunter," you challenged, voice low into a whisper. "And I’ll go."

He didn’t move, didn’t speak. His pupils were blown the more you looked at each other, breathing shallow. You watched his throat work as he swallowed hard, struggling to find his voice.

Your hands rested on the underside of the console, securing you in place as you were practically backed up into it. And confusingly, you were a different type of riled up.

Then, you saw him wet his lower lip, just a touch that made your heart momentarily stop. And he noticed—he noticed. And he smirked. Of course he would; his heightened senses would be picking up on everything—the quickening of your pulse, the heat pooling between your thighs. You sincerely hoped he didn’t notice.

"Hunter," you spoke louder and hopefully more sternly, but the slight tremble in your tone begged to differ. "Tell me you want me to go."

His eyes momentarily closed, conflict spreading across his features. "Tell me to go," you whispered again, but again came no reply.

You waited for a few more moments before you found yourself laughing, almost pitifully. For yourself, and for him. "I don’t have time for this," you grumbled and turned to move away from him, but there was a sudden hold on your arm, stopping you completely.

Your gaze snapped back to him, eyes wide. His, however, flickered down your body, lingering, then met yours again, blazing with an intensity that made your heart stop once more. The silence stretched, electric, until you could bear it no longer. "Hunter?" you whispered.

Suddenly, he pulled you closer, body flush against his and his lips just inches from yours. With a soft murmur, voice hoarse, he said, "Don’t go."

Your breath hitched, your body responding to the unspoken desire in his words. The bitterness, the anger, it all melted away, leaving only a new and raw need. You both closed the gap, lips crashing together in a fierce, desperate kiss.

His hands roamed your body, finding their way to the small of your back while your hands tangled in his hair, running and tugging the textured locks through your fingers. You gasped as he pulled you even closer than before, his body pressing you back to the control panel. The heat of his touch pushed shivers of excitement down your spine. How was this happening? And why didn’t it feel wrong?

Hunter pulled back just enough to mutter against your lips, “I’ve always cared. More than I should.”

You met his gaze, seeing the vulnerability there, and whispered, “Then show me.”

His response was immediate and fervent. Hunter lifted you effortlessly, placing you onto the console before his strong hands slipped under your dress, his touch rough and impatient, yet undeniably thrilling. His fingers traced the length of your legs, caressing your thighs and emitting electric jolts of desire through you.

"You were so worked up when we were arguing," he muttered, his voice low and gravelly. "I could smell how wet you were for me."

You were speechless. Then, you gasped as his fingers trailed further up, hiking your dress higher until his hands cupped your sex. The realisation that you were bare beneath the dress, no panties to obstruct his touch made him breathless.

"Fuck," he breathed shakily, his fingers slipping between your folds, feeling the slickness there. "No panties? That’s… that’s so sexy of you." He purrs, gauging your reaction as he brushes a thumb over your clit. “And you’re so wet.”

Your breath hitched, a moan escaping your lips as he began to explore you. His fingers moved expertly, teasing your entrance before slipping inside. You arched into him, your body responding eagerly to his touch. “H-Hunter!”

"Is this what you wanted?" he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. "To be fucked by me?"

You could only nod, biting your lip hard as your voice lost to the sensations overwhelming you. His fingers thrust in and out of you, his thumb circling your clit with an agonisingly beautiful precision. “Mmm, you like this don’t you? You feel beautiful.” The pleasure builds quickly, a coil of heat tightening in your core.

“I love it, Hunter.” You gasp. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Hunter’s other hand gripped your hip, holding you in place as he worked you towards the edge. "So tight around my fingers."

You whimpered, your hands clutching at his shoulders, desperate for more as your body shakes. His pace quickened, his fingers curling inside you to hit that perfect spot that made you see stars. Your body trembled, the pleasure almost too much to bear.

"That’s it," he growled, his voice a rough caress as his lips breathe down your neck. "Come for me. I know you can do it. Come all over my fingers, baby girl.”

With a final, desperate cry, you shattered. His fingers, the pace, his pet names, everything makes your climax crash over you in throbbing waves. Hunter didn’t stop though; his fingers continued their relentless thrash on your clit, prolonging your pleasure until you were a quivering mess, your juices pouring down your thighs.

When he finally pulled his fingers from you, they were slick with your cum. His gaze locked with yours, dazed and in awe as you watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean with a greedy hunger. The sight of him, the feel of his lips around his fingers, sent another jolt of arousal through you. “You l-look good doing that,” you say bashfully, even more so as he collected more on the fingers he just sucked and placed them flat against his tongue, groaning desperately.

"You taste incredible," he murmured, his eyes dark and hungry. "I never thought someone could taste so sweet."

Without another word, he sank to his knees before you, spreading your legs wider to grant him better access as he pushed your dress up again. The sight of him there, between your thighs, was definitely a sight to behold.

His hands grip your hips, pulling you to the edge of the console. His breath was hot against your swollen folds, making you shudder in eagerness. "I want to taste you again," he smirks, his tone low and gravelly. "I want you to come on my tongue."

“Take me, Hunter, it’s all yours.” The first swipe of his tongue was both a shock and a relief. You gasped, your hands flying to his hair, gripping the locks to hold him in place.

"Hunter," you moaned, your voice trembling. "Oh, fuck."

His tongue moved with a desperate hunger, lapping at your folds and circling your clit with a precision that made you writhe. He groaned against you, the vibrations adding to the intense pleasure building inside you. “I love hearing you swear… such a dirty mouth.”

Your hips bucked involuntarily, seeking more of his mouth, more of that intense sensation. Hunter’s grip on your hips tightened, almost bruising as holds you steady as literally he devoured you. He alternated between long, slow licks and rapid, flicking movements that had you teetering on the edge of another orgasm. The sounds he made—groans, grunts, and the slick noises of his mouth on your wetness—only heightened the moment as you matched his sounds with tender moans of your own.

You tugged at his hair, needing him closer, deeper. "Don’t stop," you pleaded, your voice breathless and desperate as you begin to roll your hips against his face. "Please, don’t stop."

He didn’t. If anything, your words spurred him on, his tongue working even more fervently. He sucked on your clit, gently at first, then harder, drawing it into his mouth and flicking his tongue over it before plunging his finger into you for that extra push. Your entire body tensed, the pleasure coiling tighter and tighter until it was almost unbearable.

You cried out, your nails digging into his scalp as you came again, the orgasm crashing over you with a force that left you shaking, more so than before.

Slowly, he pulled back from your cunt, his lips glistening with your aftermath. He looked up at you, his eyes blown and satisfied. "Stars, I can’t get enough of you… I’ve dreamt about being between your legs.”

His words surprised you, wondering if he was just saying it in the heat of the moment or if he was saying the truth but for now, you could only nod, still trying to catch your breath. Your body hummed with satisfaction, every nerve ending still tingling from the intensity of your release. Hunter stood, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips.

"You’re amazing," he murmured, leaning in to kiss you again. This time, the kiss was slow, languid, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips, sharing your taste between you. You sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer.

When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavily. "I’ve wanted this for so long," he confessed, his voice a soft rumble.

“But… I thought you didn’t want me.” You whisper against his lips, eyes closed as you try to get your head around everything.

He sighs, shaking his head slowly. “I’ve been pushing you away because… I couldn’t imagine if anything bad were to happen to you.”

“You’ve been cruel to me,” you reiterate, a little bitter as you pull your head back, “but you…” you piece it all together, his obvious jealousy of you and that guy tonight, his toughness of overprotectiveness. He cared. In a bad way. But alas, he cared. And a part of you always wanted him. You were just too determined never to admit it.

“I’m sorry,” he says with honesty, his hands leaving your hips to take a hold of each of your hands, “I really am.”

You search his face, coming to your conclusion. Hunter's eyes blazed with need as you gently pushed him back. At first he thought you were going to push him away completely, telling him this was a mistake but then, you dropped to your knees before him.

Hunter's eyes widened in surprise but then glowed with hunger while your hands were steady, moving to his belt, undoing it. With your voice husky with desire, you whisper. "Let me?”

He nodded, swallowing hard. You freed his hardened cock from the confines of his pants, the sight of it making your mouth water instantly. “You have such a beautiful cock,” you say sweetly, giving it an experimental pump. You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the tip, tasting the precum that had already gathered there from earlier antics.

Hunter groaned, his hands finding their way into your hair, gently guiding you. "Fuck, you’re beautiful," he muttered, his voice thick with need.

You took him into your mouth, your tongue swirling around the head before taking him deeper. His grip on your hair tightened, and you could feel the tension in his body, the restraint he was barely managing to hold onto. You hollowed your cheeks, sucking him in deeper, your tongue tracing the vein along the underside of his shaft.

“Fuck,” he hissed, his head falling back, exposing his throat. You glanced up, taking in the sight of him—the way his lips parted, the way his eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. It spurred you on. It made you want to give him everything.

You started a steady rhythm, bobbing your head up and down his length, taking him as deep as you could. Each time you pulled back, you flicked your tongue over the sensitive tip, making him shudder. You could feel his control slipping, his hips starting to thrust gently into your mouth.

“Just like that,” he groaned, his voice ragged. “You’re so good at this.” His free hand grasps your jaw, holding your head in place as his gentle thrusts become more eager. “That’s it baby.”

His words sent a thrill through you, and you doubled your efforts, sucking him harder, faster and matching his thrusts. You reached up, cupping his balls and rolling them gently in your hand, feeling his body respond to your touch. His breathing grew more ragged, his grip on your hair tighter. Soon his hand on your jaw moved to your throat, chuckling as he practically felt the way your throat contracts and tightens with every time he moves in and out of your mouth.

“Stars, you’re amazing,” he panted. “Keep going, keep going.”

But then he pulled you back, his cock slipping from your lips with a wet pop. He was breathing hard, his eyes wild with need. “I can’t… I need you,” he growled, pulling you up to your feet.

You barely had time to register what was happening before he was lifting you, your back pressed against the console again but with your dress being ripped away from your body. He spread your thighs, and then he was there, his cock pressing against your entrance.

He slid into you in one smooth thrust, burying himself to the hilt. The sensation of him filling you completely made you cry out, your breathing harsh. “Hunter,” you gasped, your voice trembling.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, his hips starting a relentless rhythm. “Such a nice pussy, so perfect.”

He moved with a desperation that matched your own, each thrust deep and hard, hitting that perfect spot inside you. You start to grin, never having been so fucked desperately in all your life. He was disheveled, panting your name like a man starved as his cock sinks deep into you. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, needing more. A lot more. “You’re fucking me so good, Hunter! D-don’t stop.”

“You’re mine,” he growled, his lips brushing against your ear. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

His sudden words sent you over the edge, your body tensing as another orgasm ripped through you. You cried out his name, your nails dragging down his back, leaving marks and claiming him.

“Yes, come for me,” he urged, his thrusts growing more erratic. “I want to feel you come around my cock.”

You did, your body spasming around him, milking him. His grip on your hips tightened, his own release imminent. He buried his face in your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “I’m going to fill you up,” he panted. With a final, deep thrust, he came, his body shuddering against yours. You held him close, your own body still trembling from the intensity of your orgasm. He stayed there, buried deep inside you, his breath slowly evening out.

“I love you,” he whispered again, his voice softer now, more tender.

You smiled, your hands gently caressing his back as you both succumbed to the evening. “I love you too.”

Tags: @lulalovez @photogirl894 @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder r @mysticalgalaxysalad @yunggoblin @imalovernotahater @sithstrings @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari i @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi

@greaser-wolf @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420

@ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @cw80831 1 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @jesseeka a @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino

[lizaluvsthis]

What got you to start drawing the boys do you take requests? Cause I like the cafe au

IT MIGHT SEEM CRAZY ON WHAT IM BOUT TO S-

When I said I've been a SMG4 fan for 4 years, I left the channel for i dunno how many weeks or months has it been. Then one day I saw WOTFI 2023 recommended in my youtube page and was.

"Wotfi 2023? But I thought- wait- who are these characters again?"

Turns out I forgot that Ive only seen SMG4 and SMG3's (cocomelon ass) designs during wotfi 2022 where it was both of their first redesigns from the movie. I stopped watching for a bit cuz I got busy.

Then I came back to see they were both redesigned in a better version now. Now that I thought about "where was their second redesign then?"

So I knew that I had to binge watch every single episodes from smg4's channel right after wotfi 2022

I then saw how much Three has changed ever since after the 2022th christmas episode.

If I were to be honest, watching igbp for the first time in my life even Mar10 day. I was about 85% sure that Smg3 worries too much for Smg4's sake.

They both are cosmically linked and three can feel what the other of his partner is feeling soooooo?

*circles both of my hands*

Three's gay. He looked fruity he felt fruity. During the movie and during right after he helped four's ass to get his channel back from running again.

It suddenly gave me some time for my brain to tell me "DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS COULD BE A HINT- THIS IS MAYBE AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS!" I responded to my brain like- HELL YEAH I'M NOTING THAT DOWN.

Cuz I cant just sit here and just "watch the movie without sayin nothin" I HAD to do something AND make analysis about it because thats what I do when I notice simple details!

So when smg3 confessed those feelings of his to Smg4 and even running to save his life back again and even after saying "we're friends!" This gave me a bit of a shock. Three. Did you know what you did? Did you realize how much it meant for smg4? Did you FORGET- that you said you and him werent friends during the 2020th wotfi?

So then after all of this time... that means smg3 has been the one and always a tsundere to smg4

Even after the castle disappeared, him and three's chemistry started going into an actual progress from both of their chemistry from the relationship.

Thats a dedication for me right there. I do it not only for fun, I do it for my wants, have, and needs.

I know its funny for a minor like me to do all of this dedicaded in just a simple job, I have all kinds of specialities to include my works and skills and use them for this fandom again from how I did to the past ones. (But those past fandoms are dead-)

Ahem- what was I talking about again? Oh right- 3 and 4... sorry got a little bit too chatty-

So I noticed even more about Smg3's notebook and was like- "gahd damn- three had his own personal notebook this whole time?! Whats even inside of it? I'm curious..." so yeah-

Now jumping to where I watched 2023 of wotfi again (twice now) to see its context about it- I was flabberGHASTED in after the "drawing" and also the mysterious tv guy whose also appearing on as the final antagonist in the modern era and a new one from the new era.

"Holysht. This is about to go bonkers for the fans making up stuff about those 'what-ifs' that smg4 made from the previous video back then. (The part where waluigi won or desti being alive)

I'm curious enough to see what happens and even if its about tv adware. Yes too.

(THERE. In November I started to become quite more invested from the fandom and decided to drop in my luggage and load out all of my junks called Info-Analysis?)

So- hello! (Again-) :D it was a pleasure meeting every and one of you all- I stopped in just to come back from the fandom that I never made commentary about but now I can ^^

I started with doodling and knowing basic anatomy and shapes of SMG3 and SMG4's design (the new one) so that I could start on doodling about them. But what I didnt expect for myself is that I had created a long time chapter of "Indigo Secret" that wasn't supposed to be there on purpose.

It was just supposed to be a "silly" comic about it from where ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■ about the problem and then the part in this that came into ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ from ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

*BEEP*

I took myself a big motive after my blog gained 10+ followers and more notes. I thought working here 24/7 would make me feel something more for destiny and the trip!

So- yeah. Work. :) even when I'm at school I also complete my assignments and all of the shts and after that I can continue on with continuing the pages and with some cute doodles with the boys from a scenario playing through my head.

Now you have me making all of this and that ^^

Thats whay I'm popular for :)

--

---

--

2nd answer...

Thank you for liking the cafe au! It means so much to the both for me and shay from the collab to move on!

I did say from my boundaries I take free art request 1 at a time only- and I could allow a second art request if I do have the time ^^

Yes I do take art request :)

(Except for-

oc-shipping with SMG3/SMG4 cuz they're both together in the au

NSFW

Some stuff that I can't approve on-)

Ask away :)

Thanks for asking me stuffs anon I really enjoy talking ^^

[stargazer0001]

(art from above is by @/sleepinginmute.)

Hello everyone! I’m Stargazer0001! But you can just call me Star :3

my pronouns are she/they/he/it/astro in no particular order. I like em all so use them interchangeably

I'm your local lil space critter, who has declared themself the CEO of the rainworld ship Stargazer (spearmaster x rivulet x nightcat)

I'm a silly littol spacegender fellar :3 How can I be lesbian and spacegender at the same time you ask? Fuck you thats how!/j Im also asexual so no NSFW please! This blog is meant to be at least a bit more kid friendly, even if there are more mature topics

I am also a furry so if you do not like them then please leave here

I am also questioning if I am a therian and fictionkin. I have done research on both and I am now taking them into consideration. Im not gonna label myself yet because I still might not be, but if anyone has helpful info on them then please do share :)

I have a secret draw box! if you wanna draw for me anonymously, you can go here to do it! I check every couple days.

Ask box: Open

Ship requests: closed. Uhhh i frogor to update this for a while so uh yeagh.

Ask me stuff: Always open unless the ask box is closed

Tell me silly things: Yes I want to talk to people!! Please give me silly asks i need them....

art requests: not open sorry :( artblock is blocking my art so

I wanna make my blog more organized now so I am going to start tagging stuff

#my art Art that is made by me

#Art request anytime my art requests are open I will tag it with this

#ask An ask that I have answered, this also applies to anon asks

#Star.TXT document this is for anytime I am just talking

#vent this if for anytime I just need to talk and vent about stuff

#lil starz art this is for my really old art, such as the ones near the beginning of my Tumblr journey

#Silly chat this is me and my mutuals little chats! Like if they send a lighthearted friend ask I will tag it with silly chat

IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE A CERTAIN TAG THEN FILTER IT

I rarely block people but I still will on occasion. Please don't take any hard feelings if I do block you.

Basic DNI such as NSFW blogs, homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, racists, antifurries and antitherians, and zionists

Cool moots who you should go check out if you like my blog:

@critter2: My IRL bestie that ive been with for a long time. We've been together through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The bestie ever :3

@cookieeevee: An amazing friend! The first person to ever really DM me on here and I'd like to say that we've grown to be good friends. We have amazing little chats and she's an amazing person! Their art is also so soft and squishable! Go check em out

@sleepinginmute: one of my first moots! Such an amazing and silly creature. Its art is amazing, and even though im unsure if it considers me a friend, I know that I do. I really do wish the best for it and I hope that it can be truly happy someday

@cumulusbrume: we dont interact very often anymore, but I still find him a great moot to this day

@athofear: I fun lil fello!! Always a fun time interacting with em. Their art is also superrr shaped and silly!! Always a treat to see them on my dash

@meowyncherry: we dont interact much but he gave me the kinitopet brainrot and their art is also super blorbo so :3

@suburbandrifts: once again, we dont interact very often but they seem very cool and silly/pos and their art is incredibly good! mm the colors are coloring/pos @weeeeblr:!!! The art ever actually!!! Idk how we're mutuals cause hes super cool actually. Great art, and his designs for basically everything is peak/srs

@bananacat76: the bestie does indeed make art!!! And said art is amazing!! Such a cool person and fren :3 their style is also incredibly interesting I need to study it under a microscope/aff

@keeper-of-magic:!!! Cool person alert!!! Their art is amazing and their worldbuiding skills are super awesome!!! I also gotta try and play DND with them sometime.... I have no idea how to but it seems fun, just like them!

@badgerfrost: the silly ever!!! Its art is very well colored and its basically eye candy at this point, and ever time we interact I KNOW its gonna be a goood time

@draagu: ohhhh the silly!!! We dont interact much but shes a super cool moot and idk how we're mutuals like. ??? awesome person with awesome art FOLLOWED ME????? Awesome

@dazzoot: we have interacted a total of like 1 time but cool mutual deserves an honorary tag

GO CHECK ALL OF THESE SILLY PPL OUT!!! THEY'RE AWESOME :333 (if I forgor anyone i am so sorry. Also if you want me to untag you just ask. I dont wanna make anyone uncomfy)

Talking to people spooks me

I have anxiety so please be patient with me, I usually overthink what I am going to say and then end up saying something either really stupid, kinda weird, or I just don't respond.

I am mentally a 5 year old so please inform me if I did something wrong, I usually wont notice or I will think its not an issue. Please be patient with me.

if you sat through all of that, congrats! You get rw gifs now :)

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hey

a while back I asked for a request themed around One Piece im back today requesting the same for Tokyo Revengers

I would like a personality match up, As before , I am an ambivert, I can talk with people but i do have a burn out point, I always try to think outside of the box and when i get interested in a subject I loose myself in it, I would class myself as loyal and caring though i can be dense when it comes to others also ive been told i can't pick up on sarcasm, i guess my main negative trait is my tendency to apologies too much and i self sabotage when things are going well for me, I also wear my heart on my sleeve I also enjoy a drink from time to time .

I am Bisexual and I am Nonbinary, My pronouns are She/ her, they/ them, In the match up I would like to request a male character.

My likes are: Anime and manga (a given), geek culture, listening to music whilst i draw.

My dislikes are: (i know i might get hate for this) Pineapple on pizza, Baked beans, tomatoes, conflict, sudden loud noises, I absolutely hate it when people say one thing and do the opposite.

My hobbies are: writing even though i never publish much on here, and I enjoy running as to me its the best way to take my mind off things, I would like to learn how to cook so in the future i guess cooking.

Hello friend. I’m excited for this one! Obviously you know who I romantically match you up with (Mikey). But I am excited to show you who I think you are most like. So let’s go!

You Got….

Ken “Draken” Ryuguji!!!!!!!

I know this from the hours of talking to you, you are super loyal just like Draken.

You both can be social if you want but value your alone time as well

When you both love something, you’re all in. You want to know all.

I don’t know why but one HC I always felt with Draken is that be doodles when he’s bored.

You both hate dishonest!

And you are both amazing listeners and advice givers!!!

I hope you like it!

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

HIIII I see that u hv a match up goin on and Id like to try! Would u mind doing one for me with Obey Me?

Pronouns : She/they

Sexuality: Im not sure exactly??... still discovering but I know that I like both sexes

Infp 4w5 / Cancer sun Taurus moon n Scorpio rising (I saw some doing not just the sun sign so i think it would be fun if i include all 3 lol)

Appearance: Im South East Asian. Around 5'2. I hv shoulder length black hair, black eyes and olive toned skin. My hairstyle is akin to the jellyfish hair. I rarely wear makeup and would just hv my bare face out due to its sensitivity to breakouts. And my clothing, its mostly modest/covering for academic places or just comfy and quick with any cool baggy tees i hv. Its my current closet, since i dont hv much occasions to go grand and i just wanna blend in with everyone around me lookin like an npc. But id love to wear more self expressing stuff in the future, to my desire. More accessories, colorful makeups and fashions like dark couquette/gyaru or so!

Personality: My personality, id say its two sided. I guess hv an open mind and easy going (to some degree ofc). A dream chaser and a listener. Sometimes (just sometimes), i can get my mind through a problem and stay grounded. Im also empathic? I like consoling with people and I appreciate the smallest details. I feel for people's struggle and I hold hopes in them. However, i can get moody, its so unexpected and intense that even im scared of it. I can be very quiet then, and dissociative. Id just want to be alone by that time to figure out my situation. Ive been said to appear gloomy or hard to approach too :cry: If im pissed, im venomous. And im actually an anxious person, of all sorts of things. Self deprecating too, i almost forgot abt that. But if i feel suitable, i get funky and enjoy myself hehe.

Likes/Dislikes : I like visual novels, rhythm games and those with good storytelling; a variety of music genres that focus on melody, instrument, composing; local asian food; sleeping with plushies; arts n crafts; esoteric things; philosophy study; my friends; solitude and continuation; aesthetic or hidden values and uhhh nice, mannered intriguing people.

I dont like smelly people doe. People who are narrow minded icks me oops. Pls dont tryna barge in on me when im busy unless it helps. I hate the sun... And not getting myself tented after a long day. I dislike my parents as well, yikes. Worst of all, being opressed.

Hobbies : doll, bracelet making; drawing, online shopping, rhythm game arcade, reading philosophy works, uhh getting invested in random medias...

Anyways, thats my submission! If u do reply, tysm for the matchup!!!

Hi Anon! Thank you for the request! I hope you like your matchup!

In Obey Me, I match you with...

Asmo is the best person to hype you up about wearing more self-expressing things. He’s great at putting outfits together and will give you honest and genuine feedback.

Doesn’t mind your personality changes. He knows what mood swings are like so he’s very understanding.

Please go online shopping with him! But set a budget because you’re both liable to get caught up in the energy and spend too much. But online shopping with Asmo would be so much fun.

Not great at giving you alone time but if you say you need some space, he’ll respect your wishes. While you’re enjoying your alone time, he’ll do a spa day or hang out with some of his friends.

Asmo loves your plushies. He thinks they’re really cute and, if you’re okay with it, would love to borrow some of them to sleep with as well. He’ll take good care of them and swaps them out occasionally so you’ve got a constantly rotating roster of plushies in your room.

[daemonwritesstuff]

hello hello!! if its alright, could i request a matchup for project sekai and/or twisted wonderland? (o´▽`o)

my name is clockwork, or just clock works too!! im transmasc (16) and i go by he/they pronouns. im a leo, infp, and hufflepuff though i dont know what most of that means, haha! i think i have undiagnosed autism but its something i still have to talk to my doctor about. ive been on t for a year at this point and im hoping to get top surgery the second i turn eighteen. i mostly have an attraction to dudes, but i also like girls!

i’m pretty short (5’3”) and i have black hair that i like to bleach/dye as well as dark brown eyes. i still look pretty feminine, but i have a deeper voice (thank you testosterone) and i dress masculine though im not against dressing somewhat femininely in my freetime.

my main interests as of current are reading and watching different animanga series, playing video games, and watching vtubers!! my hope is that one day i’ll be able to audition to a talent agency one day and start streaming as a vtuber! i also want to expand myself musically, so i’m currently trying to learn the violin and want to pick up the piano one day! i also love band and i want to learn guitar or the drums. i also love drawing, though i dont do it much and im not very good at it, haha! its more of a hobby than something i want to perfect and become a professional in.

personality wise, i’ve been told i can actually look pretty intimidating but i’d like to think im a pretty nice person! i can be a little bit shy when first meeting someone, but once i know i have something in common with someone, i never shut up, haha!! i’m a really passionate person when it comes to the things im interested in and i do my best to make sure the people around me are happy. i can be super spontaneous and i’m not good at thinking before i act so i’ve done quite a lot of stupid stuff before. i’m super loud and i never know how to control my volume, but its mostly because im having fun. i have tendencies to overthink and my thoughts spiral way more often than i’d ever want to admit, but that’s just how it goes sometimes. i also get pretty irritated/frustrated easily, but i’m learning to get better at controlling that.

i guess my type would be someone who can both match my energy, as well as be patient with me. like, someone who can understand whenever i get too overstimulated or whenever i want to be affectionate even when i dont say it out loud, you know?

thank you for listening to my request, or if anything comes up and you can’t do it or have questions for me, then you can message me!! remember to stay hydrated and get enough sleep!! mwah mwah (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

A/N: Hi there mootie! I apologize for taking a while 🥹 but I really hope you enjoy this. Anyways, here I go!

Your soulmate for Project Sekai is…

Akito Shinonome

Honestly, I was gonna go for Toya but I truly feel like akito is a best match for you, honestly people say that akito can be intimidating and so can you and there’s so much more that I’m gonna explain on why akito is perfect.

He loves hearing you talk, usually about whatever like your interests that your passionate about, he also loves hearing your voice all the time too, he finds it attractive.

He also supports all your dreams and goals in life! Whatever you wanna do or wanna be he’ll always be there for you, cheering you on.

Since your learning violin and you wanna learn piano, his friend Toya will teach you how to to play them anytime, and since you draw as well I’m sure Ena would love that!

Potentially, if you wanted too, You, Akito and Toya could be in a poly relationship together, but that’s all up to you.

No matter what y’all just compliment each other so well.

Now, for your Twisted Wonderland Soulmate you’ll be with…

Idia Shroud!

So, since your shy and he’s shy he would definitely become friends with you at first.

You guys share a lot or interests with each other such as animanga, video games, etc, you guys would have weekly gaming nights with just you and him and you guys would also watch anime together as well.

You would be the one talking a lot and he would be the one always listening, he enjoys you taking about your passions and he’ll ask questions and do small reaction noises.

He is very patient with you, and he definitely understands when you get over stimulated as well and will try his best to help you even when he’s freaking out on the inside.

He supports you when you say you wanna become a vtuber! He will definitely help you out with that stuff!

Also if you want affection from him you may have to speak up some points.

[castielsparkle]

hii angelsdean here, i saw you reblogged my art ask game so i wanted to send you a few! palette, inspiration, crayon

omg angelsdean hi!! thank u so much, and thank u for making it its very cool!! ^_^ sorry about the late response, was working on a piece actually lol!

palette: ooh, this ones tough, im like split right in the middle with two choices hehe. i quite love using varying shades and hues of blues! but most of my art ends up being kind of a peachy, almost rosy orange-pink-purple kind of palette :P it always starts out very blue but if i fully finish a piece it usually ends up shifting towards the latter. i love blue seeing as i am a blue guy myself but i can def appreciate both of those palettes!! very fun to work with :)

inspiration: OOH this is so so dear and special to me,, i draw inspiration from most anything that i can!! which includes but isnt limited to: davinci's sketches, baroque art in general, 70s-80s and 2000s retrofuturism (tbh 50s-2000s retrofuturism entirely is just so<333) i was big on the deviantart 2010s like, furry and mlp scene as well LOL so i get insp from there too from time to time! i also have an appreciation for other forms of art such as music, makeup, poetry, dance, etc, and i love kind of translating stuff from there into physical/drawn art :) i also take huge inspiration from my day to day life, the things around me, and my friends, and ofc, all of the media im interested in! (spn, mlp, dexter, stranger things, teotfw etc!) i think i am most inspired/motivated by my life experiences and animals and my passion for biology/anatomy :) i love to create just to create!

crayon: ive been drawing quite literally as long as i can remember! there wasnt ever a time where i wasnt in my memory, i am very very passionate about art in all of its forms and a strong believer that there is so much soul and life and Humanity in creating and sharing and viewing/observing/experiencing art, whether its telling stories or dancing or singing or drawing, i just love love love art. dont get me started on ancient cave drawings LMAO. but anyways sorry that was a tangent, point being that art is very intrinsic to my being, but to get back on topic, ive been drawing for my entire conscious life :) i remember as a wee boy i won an art trophy in my schools district for like, some water safety contest i made a poster for lol. my elective in high school was art, and i spent most of my time physically *in* high school spent in my art teachers classroom, any spare time i had, whether it was supposed to be my spare time or not 😭 as a small small kid i did horse riding, and was very passionate about horses, and had many horse anatomy books and how-to-draw horse books etc etc, was big into bella sara and i adored drawing horses. (later that manifested into an mlp special interest when g4 came out which fueled my art even more, i even run an mlp art request blog w my bf to this day!) but anyways! in my youngest days id draw horses, my family, any animal i could, webkinz, and as a tween-teen it was a bunch of furry art, then youtuber art, then fandom art, etc etc... now its mainly my original stuff and im very into spn right now so! lots of that too :)

sorry for going on such a long rant ahh! 😭 these questions are so cool i just had so much fun answering them lol!! thank you again!!!<3

[phalacrocoraxdreams]

upset there was no mention of palestine at tonights conversion class, it felt like an impossible ask to think and talk about rest at a time when no palestinian is able to.

i think the zoom format is cheapening the experience of this class much more than it should be as well—maybe this will change once our regular teacher is back, but we haven’t introduced ourselves, and theres no way to get in contact with each other unless we know or ask individuals, and theres been no talk of in person meetings/attending services together/etc… obviously the material is important! but the cohort experience of this class is i think very important, and i’ll bring it up of it goes a couple more classes the same way but it feels like such a clear goal for a teacher of this class to have. i dont understand why the effort has not already been made. perhaps it is clearer to me because i have so much difficulty speaking/thinking in classes, and something that makes is much easier is actually knowing my classmates; i just find it ridiculous that we are lowkey expected to share things that are for some people deeply personal, like its a personal class, to such total strangers.

ive been having feelings about how much i want to share about my identities/lived experiences (lived-experiences-as-identities, often) with people… i feel pressure both to share and not share these pieces of me that are very personal. i feel deeply threatened by the idea that sharing about things like autism/mental illness/abuse/etc might attach me to more or more specific stigma and assumptions about me. i am a very private person as well and very bothered by assumptions made about me in general… i prefer to share information about myself that cannot be used to draw a conclusive picture, i try to remain personally invisible as a matter of course. and i really am trying to fight this urge because i want connection! i want people to know me! and giving people the actual words i use for myself (by telling them im autistic, labeling myself in relation to abuse, etc) helps them to know me 😐…

lol i think i do also have some they-wont-believe-me feelings about all of these things. unsurprisingly i have lots of feelings about the idea of not being believed 🙃 and some* internalized ableism

2 other things i am thinking about:

emotional overwhelm of trying to figure out how to respond to things that are personal to me** -> overstimulated, find it harder to speak from thinking and physical speech standpoints -> triggers shame which adds to the emotional overwhelm of trying to figure out how to respond…

i dont really like telling people im autistic if i dont have to but i worry that if people dont know im autistic no one will like me or want to be my friend. because people are more likely to be understanding about how you are weird and bad at talking to people if they know why lol

*unfortunately its actually so so much. when i say i hate being autistic i mean it for real.

**ntm the regular overwhelm of trying to process what the speech request was and come up with any appropriate answer, whether the request feels personal or not. talking takes up so much processing space >:(

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

also ive been trying to get to the root of my CONSTANT art block. like i want to create things as a career! but oh the misery......consistency is my enemy........i get so burnt out so easily and so i only draw things a few days out of the month and thats No Good!!!! i want to work out how to build better drawing HABITS instead of just getting mad that im not drawing. i found a few articles online that are helping me re-assess my art habits and that give good tips on avoiding burnout and art block. so im hoping i can actually stick to some kind of plan or habit tracker to keep me accountable so i can draw ALL THE THINGS

besides drawing habits i also am not sure on how to proceed with making things?? like i want to focus on my etsy shop and make all this new merch. but also id love to post smaller, easier youtube videos so i can push myself to make content instead of trying to do these big projects. but ALSO i want to make music content on tiktok (cause i dont want youtube to get salty at me when i talk about my favorite music) but it might be hard to juggle both youtube and tiktok where im making different content for both, as WELL as working on my shop. and on top of all that i want to draw more often, and draw more interesting stuff like comics. i want to draw comics with my ego boys so badly. i also havent drawn porn in awhile. i should do that too. because my art is probably the most important thing to me that i create and i want people to see my stuff!! so how does one juggle like 4 different things at the same time. who is severely tired all the time and also works full time in retail.

idk, just some thoughts. i have a list of current things i need to finish that ive been working on, including month-old drawing requests and actually picking up writing my ego iceberg. i actually havent been thinking a ton about my egos this past month so motivation to talk about them has been LOW. but ive been talking about the damn thing for months now and i want to make progress one way or another!!!!

i think time blocking and habit tracking are a good place to start, i just need to find some kind of solution to keep my art creation in check. i do be needing some discipline if i ever want to be successful within the next few years lol

[shadyhouse]

Your art is so fuckin good and I lose my mind every time I see it! You pretty much top the list of artists I want to commission one I have digital money again. Do you have any art advice you'd wanna give a fellow (though less experienced) furry artist?

OMGGGG THANK YOU!!! :D that means so much, i'm glad my art can have so much of an influence on you! that seriously makes me so happy 😭 i'm honored to be one of your favorites!!!

as for art advice.... i feel like im not qualified to give Good advice since im pretty much completely self-taught, but also maybe that makes the advice better? idk ive been "serious" about art and doing commissions since 2017 so i have quite a bit of experience but i still feel like a beginner gdhkgjldsgdskg but anyways here's my own personal things ive learned over the years

absorb as much art as you possibly can. art of all mediums. tv shows, movies, music, visual art, animations, books, comics, ect ect ect EVEN bad art! i am a huge believer of the idea that both bad art and good art is extremely important to you as an artist because not only does the bad art show you what Not to do, but sometimes bad art has GREAT ideas that you wouldve never thought of before. whether they're just executed poorly or the ideas arent touched upon as in depth as you'd like. i'm giving you permission to steal ideas right now PLEASE steal ideas from all the stuff you love and put your own personal spin on them i'm BEGGING you!!!! just don't claim other people's art as your own and you're golden

if you want to open commissions but you don't think you're "good enough", open them anyway. i swear it will do nothing but help you improve and give you experience for the future. i started out by drawing things for $10 a pop and it did SO MUCH for my improvement, i'm always drawing stuff that i wouldve never drawn otherwise and it's helped me a ton with my own personal art too. the variety of the prompts you'll get will be intimidating Because it'll be stuff you don't typically draw, but you'll feel such a sense of accomplishment by the end Because it's a challenge. all this being said, don't let people take advantage of you. stand your ground and don't be afraid to refund/deny a commission request because you're excited to get paid. for every client who's a dick to you there's like five clients who will gladly respect you and pay you what you deserve irt your skill and quality. i Promise

DRAW WHAT YOU LIKE TO DRAW!!!! Don't draw what you think other people want to see! at the end of the day, it's YOUR art, and you should be building a gallery full of things that make YOU happy and Spark Joy when you create, regardless of how "niche" the subjects may be. i'm in the process of unlearning this myself, but the best thing that you can do for yourself as an artist is be self indulgent and cater to Yourself above anyone else. if you only draw stuff to pull in followers/commission clients/ect you'll end up getting burnt out EXTREMELY easily and start to resent your art. the best thing to do is to slowly acquire the community that cares the most about your art, and you as an artist. that way you'll feel better about your craft and you'll be able to REALLY feel the love. the people who look at your art can absolutely tell when you're passionate about a piece vs when you're just doing it for attention/money/ect. that's why people who claim they're going to "stoop low and draw furry porn for money" never get anywhere unless theyre TRULY passionate about the craft, because people can TELL when their heart isnt in it

TL;DR draw whatever you wanna draw, be open to try new things, and take in as much art as you can and be open to new life experiences so you can stay inspired even when you're not making art. i hope this is helpful!! i feel like im kinda rambling about my own learning experience haha

[yesimwriting]

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 

-- 

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 

“More than I should?” 

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 

“Kirigan--” 

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 

“I have to go.” 

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 

 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 

“Soon,” he promises again. 

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[glazelilyy]

lazy day snoozes

request from @claybiirds - "hi! i just wanted to say i enjoy your works! i was wondering if you could write a diluc x gn reader taking a lazy afternoon nap. lately ive been stressed bc of school and i find myself taking lazy naps. thank you and have a great day/night!"

a/n - a nap sounds like a dream right about now, school sucks for stressing people out so much >:( time for some fluff with our favorite redhead!

pairing - diluc ragnvindr x gender neutral reader

word count - 607

genre - fluff

format - drabble

warnings - none! just pure, tooth rotting fluff

summary - you're tired, he's beyond exhausted. a nap seems to be in order!

content under the cut!

rays of sun beat down on your sweaty nape like a whip as you trudged forth, a crate of grapes in your arms. you spent the better part of the morning helping to inspect and pluck grapes from the wiry vines that surrounded the winery. your skin burned, the broad sunhat on your head did little to protect you from the sun's angry leer.

under normal circumstances, you kept indoors to tend to the paperwork involving transfers of goods and imports on foreign products. however after waking up this morning to see a haggard looking diluc scribbling away at papers on his desk, you figured he could use the extra help in the vineyards. as much as he opposed the idea of you taking his place for quality inspection, the bags under his ruby red eyes spoke volumes for him and he reluctantly caved in when you promised to take frequent breaks.

thankfully, the work was finished and you were looking forward to grabbing a glass of water and checking up on your beloved. after setting aside the crate and exchanging your outdoor clothes for something more comfortable, you padded towards his office and knocked two times. "di? it's me!" you called after hearing no response. you knocked again, this time receiving a response. well, if you could count a garbled "come in" as a response.

the oak door felt heavy under your hands as you pushed it open. the bags under his eyes had grown three shades darker in color, his frazzled hair originally in a ponytail, had been let loose and ran rampant around his shoulders. "you look exhausted," you frowned, moving forward to hold his face in your hands. he exhaled and melted into your hands, a lethargic smile drawing itself onto his face.

"i'll be fine, just a few more pages..." he mumbled, brushing his nose into your searing palm. "you said a few more pages four hours ago di, have you eaten breakfast?" he merely hummed in response, eyes closing against your skin.

"come on, take a break hm?" your eyes pleaded silently with him. he peeled his eyelids back, revealing the scarlet gems encased in his face that lacked their usual glow.

"but these documents-"

"-can be taken care of later, what you need," you cut yourself off with a yawn of your own, "and what i need too, is a nap with the love of my life." he flushed, seemingly more alert now. "i-if you insist..." he shied away from your gaze, scarlet hues dancing across his cheeks. you giggled and kissed the top of his head, pulling him to his feet. he stumbled forwards into your arms and couldn't help but chuckle. "excuse my clumsiness," he drowsily muttered, stifling a small yawn.

strips of noon sunlight bathed your room in a honeyed glow, dust particles danced along the glass panel balcony doors. you led him to the elaborate bed in the corner and got into bed with him, positioning yourselves so his face fit snugly in the crook of your neck, scarlet locks tickling your nose. his arms wrapped firmly around your waist and held you close to his burning body. you took strands of his mangled, firey locks and raked your fingers through them. he seemed to like this very much, judging by the pleased throaty hum he let out. diluc's hot breath tickled your neck as his breathing slowed, and went limp in your arms.

you kissed his head one last time, whispering a "rest easy" before shutting your own eyes, relishing in the warmth of both the afternoon sun and the exhausted man in your arms.

date published: may 20th, 2021

[existingispetty]

Hi! Can i request a matchup with a Bsd and Assassination classroom male? Im a female , INTP, capricorn sun and aries moon, capricorn rising, Initially im very quite and serious but when we get to know each well enough i can be talkative playful and energetic. I get excited easily and ive been told that im very gullible and don't doubt anything im told (not street smart). Im very straight forward but when it comes to what im thinking and i get embarrassed easily and tsundere is something i get called a lot too .

I just have a hard time being vulnerable cuz i wanna come off as strong and reliable even tho I am prone to being careless and naive but i love being someone my friends and family can rely on and i try to be a good listener even if i suck at verbalizing things myself. I act tough but secretly want to be taken care of and be spoiled (not that ill ever admit it). Im passionate about my job and hobbies which include drawing or writing.

Likes - Food, music, walks, watching sports, people who are good listeners bc usually im the one who listens most of the time when my friends ralk so its nice be listened to as well.

Dislike- clingy people, indecisiveness, people who are moody or way too emotionally dependent , instability, gray relationships, tardiness.

Thank you 💕

Hello! Thank y oh for the ask! I apologize for the wait! I’ve been both very tired and busy lately. I hope you enjoy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Your matchup is…

Doppo Kunikida 

Kunikida can be a little naive when you’re a persuasive person.  Kunikida isn’t the most talkative he is much more of a listener that adds in his own comments every once and a while.  Kunikida isn’t exactly a  tsundere but he gets flustered very easily and he tries to hide it.

We’ve seen the entire agency put their trust in Kunikida because of how reliable he is.   Kunikida is very patient about not only his morals but his hobbies as well. As we all know Kunkida is a big writer. Kunikida is anything but clingy, he’s not cold he just would rather you be independent. Kunikida is only tardy when Dazai hold him back forcibly. 

Tadaomi Karasuma

Karasuma appears intimidating and has a terrible sense of humor but he’s much softer once you get to know him. Karasuma is brutally honest… he also gets flustered way too easily but he’s decent at containing it. 

Karasuma has learned to hide his emotions for his occupation so you won’t see him emotional very often. Karasuma struggles to communicate his emotions a lot. Karasuma dosent have many hobbies but there hobbies he does have he does them very often.  

Karasuma loves activity being active makes him feel productive. Karasuma isn’t the best at conversations so listening is preferred. Karasuma has never been the type to depend on others. He may seem grumpy 24/7 but he just isn’t very good at displaying how he feels. Tardiness isn’t a word is Karasumas mind. He is always on time. 

[shattersstar]

evergreen

and if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent (part four)

pairing: adrian tepes x reader

excerpt: You were grinning, running through all the most beautiful, fullest, dreamiest of adjectives to capture the face of your love. You tilted your head to the left, and he followed, the two of you grinning at each other with soft, soundless laughs. You closed your eyes for a moment, inhaling and blinking at him with a new found clarity, the words flowing effortlessly.

warning(s): brief injury mention, fluff, this is so,,hopelessly romantic, heart shape lockets making a reappearance

a/n: sorry ive only been writing for adrian my brain has been in alucard lockdown and it wont end (although this might be my favourite thing ive ever written so i’m..less sorry)

—

It was quiet, the distant din of the forest brushed over the two of you. It was a reminder of the life surrounding the desolate place you called home. Your eyes were closed as you focused on the sound, the breathing of trees and humming of streams. You supposed Adrian heard it all so clearly, the animals and plants alike all alive in the surrounding forest. You strained to hear the crunch of fallen leaves by foxes or snap of fallen branches by deers.

It was autumn and the world was alive with harvest. Animals prepared for winter, plants returned to the soil and tree lines morphed into flame. It was one of the last warm days, the sun high in the cloudy sky, shining onto the picnic you two had set up. You were laying down, letting the sun soak over your while Adrian sat cross legged behind you. Your head was in his lap, the book you were reading was resting on his thigh above your head, opened onto the page you were on. Adrian had brought a book as well, but discarded it after a few minutes of reading. It was out of date, he explained, the science was false and he decided to draw over the useless words instead.

You assumed there was some value in its history, but didn’t question it as he silently sketched. Adrian was always such an artist, often drawing you, or other’s he cared for. He could sketch Sypha and Trevor from memory, yet often butchered some detail of the latter for his own amusement you supposed. He drew his parents often too, but was quick to erase such images, as if even seeing their face was still too painful.

He had begun painting more recently. You liked sitting and working on something while he painted, catching occasionally glimpses at his work. Adrian was never shy about what he created, often showing you without prompting, and never dismissing your request to see his art. He had agreed he was good at it, the technical precision was there, but the heart was not. You were quick to disagree with such sentiment, and yes you could see it within the landscapes and dull memories he created on paper or canvas, but the love was there in the faces of those he cared for.

Each line he added to you, each bit of shading and highlight showcased you in a way that held more adoration than any words could supply. You liked seeing yourself from Adrian’s eyes, seeing your beauty as he perceived it. It was more flattering than anything anyone before him had said to you, not like Adrian would want to hear such things.

You weren’t sure how you knew he was watching, sketching you as you laid in his lap, but you knew he did. You even remained still, forgoing reading to be his muse for the last moments of fall. You didn’t mind getting to lay in the lap of the one you loved, a soft blanket underneath while the sun started to arch towards the west. You could’ve fallen asleep there, nature washing over you and Adrian watching over you. It was a place of peace, a moment you’d engrain into your mind and have a memento—a piece of art to show for it.

You only opened your eyes when Adrian let out an uncharacteristically loud sigh, he didn’t need to breathe, he only did so on his own volition. You peered up at him, sun dancing in his dark lashes. “What is plaguing you so beloved?” You hummed, tilting your head back more as you spoke.

"My chest, it aches.” He admitted with a soft voice. You sat up as his words registered in your ears, worry lacing your features as you moved to sit on your knees, beckoning him closer.

“Still? Why?” He turned his head to the side as your hand smoothed down his slender neck, brushing his collar aside and revealing the tip of the scar that cut diagonal through his torso. You kept your fingers off the injury, but untied the front of his shirt to reveal more of it.

“I am unsure, it just does some days.”

“This has happened before?”

“A few times, yes.” He sighed again, you felt it under your palm that rested next to the pink, raised skin.

“I wished you told me.”

“I did not wish to worry you.”

“And yet I am worried.” Adrian turned towards your other hand, resting on his shoulder and dipped his head down to kiss your wrist. It was a gesture of apology and you accepted it was you let your hand cup his face, lips pressing a kiss to your palm. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I don’t think so.” You frowned, shifting your knees against the blanket. “And somehow I’m not surprised you aren’t pleased with that answer.”

“How can I be pleased when you, my dear, are living in pain?”

“Don’t be pleased then, be appeased.” Adrian shrugged, still speaking into your palm. You let your fingertips graze the edge of his scar before dropping both hands from him.

“If I must.” He chuckled at that, low and warm as your hands found his knees. You gave them a squeeze, almost to check if he still existed before turning, and placing yourself into his lap. You were careful not to lean into his chest, but Adrian eased you against it, his forearm wrapping around your stomach while his other hand brushed your book from his leg. “Now show me what you were drawing.”

“Of course beloved.” He hummed from behind you, picking up his green covered book and letting you flip through the drawings now masking the words. And you were right, many—most were of you.

A few trees, a tired outline of the castle, faces you didn’t know, but still somehow, every few pages was you, lounging in his lap, or from some other memory he stored away. They made you smile, less worried as warmth overtook you.

“Do you ever draw yourself?” You asked once you reached the last sketch, lingering on it.

“No, the image of myself in my mind changes far too often.”

“Oh?” You were surprised by Adrian’s answer, you expected something darker you supposed.

“I see myself one way, and then...I do not. I cannot draw what constantly changes.”

“Why does it change?”

“You.”

One syllable was more breathtaking than a single drawing he had ever done of you.

“Oh.” You found yourself on repeat, closing the book and letting out a slow breath.

“And I supposed other’s I’ve met, but mostly you.” It’s always you, he does not say despite how well it sits in his mouth.

You knew you had impacted Adrian, only a fool would say they didn’t, but to know that the way he constructed himself in his brain, how he felt when he thought of it, how he saw himself in his dreams, how he saw himself with you were all changed by you and how you loved him felt like a deeper proclamation than i love you.

“I still wish you would though, what am I supposed to put in this locket?” Your voice held an air of teasing, but a current of seriousness laced it as well.

“I could try, if you could like.”

You were silent for a moment, you didn’t want him to settle on a version of himself to etch into existence. Not when he was ever changing in his mind's eyes. “What if—“ You twisted carefully to look at him, noses brushing as you did. “What if you drew yourself from how I saw you?” You asked, wanting his art to convey his beauty as it did yours.

Adrian pondered it for a moment, before tilting his head and surprising your lips with his. “Yes.” He whispered against your mouth before finding his book yet again.

You slipped from his lap to give him space and studied him for a long moment. He didn’t shift under your gaze, or look away, but instead studied your back. You were grinning, running through all the most beautiful, fullest, dreamiest of adjectives to capture the face of your love. You tilted your head to the left, and he followed, the two of you grinning at each other with soft, soundless laughs. You closed your eyes for a moment, inhaling and blinking at him with a new found clarity, the words flowing effortlessly.

Serious mouth, something that hides smiles and fangs. Lips that slope into something heartbreaking—a smile like no other.

He grinned at that, eyes dropping to the page as he began drawing.

Soft eyes, set deep, but still shining. Sharp like daggers and holding handfuls of sunrays in them. Not cold with sadness, but heavy with it.

“Heavy with love too.” He hummed, earning a kiss on his forehead before you settled back to describing him.

Nose…

You paused your words, letting Adrian catch up to your lovely description, while you pondered on it too. You knew this was much for him, so much love filling his ears, outward and heedy. Yet it didn’t feel like enough, like it captured how much his appearances enraptured you, but as his heart did too. You wanted him to see your love through your eyes.

It was a daunting task, and yet you carried on. You reached out, brushing over his nose with your index finger, as if the words lived in your fingertips and could only be released by touch. You furrowed your brows, lips parting before you took Adrian’s hand, the one holding the book. He kept his gaze on you as you brought his slender fingers to his nose, tracing it as you did. You loved all Adrian’s features, but his nose especially, and no words could describe the beautiful feature that pulled his whole face together.

My favourite thing.

He let his attention fall back to the drawing, a bloodless blush could’ve warmed his face with the kind descriptions you imparted onto him. He knew you loved him, you proclaimed it enough, but the sweet words that overtook this dimming autumn day were even more dizzying than he expected. And you weren’t done yet, unrelenting in your words and adoration for him.

Sharp contours—jaw, cheekbones—with an underlying kindness, youthful softness to the angular curves.

Beautiful forehead, my favourite place to kiss. And press myself to.

Brows low, very precise—too serious most of the time.

Hairline like the ocean, framing the sand and sometimes sweeping over it.

You twirled the forever loose curl that hung forward, always draping against his smooth skin. He wanted to lean into your touch, but his attention was on the page.

Hair long, softer than any silk. Golden—not like honey, but wheat fields blowing in the breeze. And thick, with lazy waves throughout it.

You stayed quiet after that, hoping it was enough. You were all warm throughout now, despite how the evening had fallen over you two. You wanted to climb back into Adrian’s lap, but instead you moved to sit cross legged, toying with a loose thread on his pants, twisting the string from the seam by his knee around your finger until his shoulders dropped and the pen stopped moving.

You let your hands rest in your lap, and you watched him study it for a long moment. You wanted to ask if it was okay—some version of him he could agree with, yet he brought the pen back, scrawling something in his tight, professional handwriting and tearing the page from the book with precision.

The drawing took up one corner, the words printed in the background barely noticeable to the bust drawn over them. He folded the piece of paper, once, then twice. A tiny square sitting in his palm, before Adrian finally met your gaze. He reached out, cool fingertips grazing over your neck as he brought your heart shaped locket to sit in his other palm. He used his thumb to open it, placing the piece of paper inside and closing it again.

He kissed the smooth metal before letting it fall back against your sternum, smiling with a haziness that made you feel drunk of love as well. You took his hand in yours, Adrian quick to intertwine fingers before you could settle your palm to his. He urged you closer, uncrossing his legs and letting you take up space between them. “Do you feel better?” You hummed, the pain that had overcome him before not leaving your mind.

It wasn’t like you to forget so easily.

“Hm, better? Yes.” He nodded, pressing a kiss to the side of your nose.

“Are you just saying that?”

“No, of course not.”

“I find that hard to believe, you often dwell in pain my dear. Especially alone.”

“I know,” He sighed yet again, bringing his free hand to your chin and drawing your attention to him. “If you’d like, I believe I have found a way that you can help, make me feel better.”

“Yes, what is it?”

He smiled—heartbreakingly. “Marry me?”

For a quiet beat, you paused, the words reaching your ears, settling in your short term memory before they processed into something that rang forever in your head. You and Adrian had talked about marriage, he had settled on the notion it was a frivolous display and he had everything he needed with you. And you agreed. He was everything you needed.

And now, he needed to be your husband.

You tucked some of his hair behind his ear, leaning in with a low voice, “My love, don’t you know?” You asked, blinking up with a slanted grin, “I’ve been married to you from the moment we met.” He breathed out a chuckle, reedy and low.

“Then,” His palms cupped your cheeks, forehead pressing into yours. “Let me marry you.”

“Yes,” You breathed into him, “Yes you can marry me.”

-

It was the first day of winter when you finally opened your locket. You unfolded his drawing carefully, the likeness you wanted to convey hung in every inked line. Your fiancé existed in both your hearts now.

Your fingers brushed over the words, creased from the folding, but still clear.

It’s always you, my betrothed.

[spicycreativity]

Yooo I’ve been reading your fic Intertwined and it is super good and giving me major moceit brain rot! Since you’re thinking about taking prompts, mayhaps moceit with something enemies-to-lovers and/or secret relationship?

Ah yay my first ever request! I wrote this as a series of vignettes because I knew if I gave myself half a chance I would go waaay overboard with it. Thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺❤❤❤

Length: 3.5k

Content Warnings: N/A; ask to tag

Oh also I did try to make it obvious, but just in case it isn't, I is post Can Lying Be Good, II is post SvS, III is post DWIT, IV is immediately post PoF, and V is later after PoF

I.

Some nights, Patton's head felt like a pressure cooker with no vent valve. The weight of his covers seemed to crush his chest, forcing him to hyperventilate as he desperately tried to pull in a full breath. Emotions swirled in his head like hot steam, a sickening mix of betrayal and shame, anger and guilt and fear. The knowledge of what Deceit had done, had tried to get Thomas to do, sat heavy in his stomach and brought the temperature up, up, up, until Patton was forced to move. He had to do something, dispel some of the steam before it boiled over into-- Well, something. Sometimes he felt on the verge of something scary and wholly out of his control, some kind of terrible explosion that would liquefy the support joints in Thomas' psyche and send all of them crashing down.

But not tonight. Tonight, Patton would scream into his pillows or pace the halls or talk to the mirror, anything to slow the roaring boil in his mind. He threw himself out of bed, bare feet touching down on the carpet, and was out the door before he could even think of grabbing something to cover up with. Not that the others had never seen him in boxers and a T-shirt, but Roman preferred to sleep in the cold and dropped the temperature accordingly.

Patton had smiled when Virgil had pulled him aside to explain what had happened. That Deceit had impersonated him and, like the Pied Piper, paraded the others behind him with a beautiful song. Thinking about it made the world tilt a little, but Patton had smiled and would have ruffled Virgil's hair if he'd thought Virgil would let him. Because it had turned out okay, hadn't it? And Patton was stupid for still feeling the way he felt. It was stupid to feel hurt that the others hadn't noticed right away. Deceit was a good actor and they had eventually noticed anyway. It was stupid to be scared. Thomas had rejected Deceit's temptation.

And then all Patton's thoughts vanished like a bursting soap bubble, because Deceit was in the hall. His look of wide-eyed astonishment was already morphing into a much more familiar expression of contempt.

"Oh," said Patton, once he'd recovered his own wits.

"Fancy seeing you here," said Deceit, who, Patton noticed with a jolt, was also in his pajamas. It was hard to be scared of someone wearing sweatpants decorated with little cartoon snakes, but it didn't entirely ease Patton's trepidation. It certainly didn't slow his pounding heart.

"What are you doing up?" Patton asked.

Deceit rolled his eyes like Patton's question was unprecedentedly stupid. "I was on my way to kill you in your sleep so I could take your place permanently." He shifted awkwardly as he talked, and Patton realized he was trying to gesticulate with his hands jammed deep in his pockets.

Patton didn't know what to say to that, so he did what he did best and smiled. He needed a way out. Forget feeling like a pressure cooker, he wanted to run back to bed and hide under the covers. He wanted Deceit to go away.

"Anyway," said Deceit, glaring, "I could ask you the same question."

Evil. He was evil. And here was Patton making small talk with him. Abiding him. "Are you sorry?"

Deceit's snake eye caught the light and almost seemed to glow under it. "Am I sorry?"

"For doing wrong." Patton scrambled to find confidence, find righteousness, conviction, faith. Anything he could use to keep Deceit at bay. "For encouraging Thomas to do wrong."

Deceit smiled, but not the way Patton had. This was cruel and mocking. He shook his head slightly as though in disbelief and almost seemed to laugh, his hands drawing the fabric of his sweats tight as he clenched them into fists. "Oh, yes, Patton, I'm so very sorry for trying to help. Yes, I repent! Shall I get down on my knees for you so you can forgive me for looking after Thomas? Hm?"

"I…" Patton took in a shaky breath. "I don't think we have anything more to say to each other. And I don't think I want to see you again."

"Don't worry," said Deceit as Patton turned his back on him, "you definitely won't."

II.

"I'm not angry," Janus said for what felt like the billionth time. He adjusted his arms where he had them crossed over his chest, huffing out a breath through his nose.

"You," said Remus, pointing at him, "have been throwing a tantrum ever since you got back. 'They're too stupid to manipulate, Remus! They didn't even listen, Remus! You're so sexy and well-hung, Remus!'"

"The are too stupid to manipulate! Is that my fault?"

"I'm just saying, you're kind of harshing my mellow."

"You've never been mellow in your life and you know it."

Remus only grinned and shook out the contents of another matchbox to add to his pile. He was planning on building a life-sized Roman out of matches and burning it in effigy. Janus remembered with a twist of guilt that Remus had seemed remarkably at ease in the two seconds before Janus had popped up and started ranting.

"Alright, since you're such a zen master," Janus huffed, "what do you suggest I do? Burn Patton in effigy?"

"I mean…" Remus held out a matchbox. "We can take turns with the Krazy Glue."

"Oh, forget it." Janus took the matchbox more by instinct than anything. "I'm going for a walk."

"You could burn down Virgil's door," Remus suggested.

Janus just shook his head and continued to stalk away. A few hours had passed since the courtroom disaster. It was now early evening and the matchstick of rage still burned quietly in Janus' chest. They were all so stupid! So naive. And it was all Patton's fault.

Janus turned the matchbox over in his hand, careful not to drop it. Scorched earth had never been his preferred modus operandi, but if Patton kept pushing back at him like this, Janus was going to shove, consequences be damned.

Oh, and speak of the angel. Janus didn't much feel like playing it coy, but he forced himself to. He leaned because against the wall, the matches still in his palm, and looked Patton slowly up and down. "We've got to stop meeting like this."

"Deceit!" Patton stopped dead, the smile sliding from his face. "What are you doing here?"

Janus brandished the matches, barely controlling the furious hiss building in the back of his throat. He'd already slipped once today, lost control of his temper. He couldn't allow that to happen again. "I've come to burn it all down."

Patton's eyes went wide, his gaze hot on the matches. "You should know better than to play with fire."

The knowledge of Patton's fear burned hot and triumphant in Janus' veins, filling him with the idea that he could still win something. He got closer to Patton with measured steps, slipping behind him when Patton tried to back away. "No, Patton," he purred, silky and cool in Patton's ear. "You're the one who's playing with fire."

"What…" Patton's voice shook and he cleared his throat, turning his head to try to look Janus in the eye. Janus was momentarily distracted by the freckles' on Patton's neck, the soft pulsing of his jugular vein. "What do you mean?"

Annoyed at himself, Janus backed up. The paper matchbox felt feeble in his grasp now, as feeble as his pathetic little display of power. He could bully Patton all he wanted and it wouldn't change a thing. "The Duke and I, we're the one thing you can't control," he boasted. Might as well see this through, since he started it.

"I have to try," Patton said. "My friends trust me, Thomas trusts me to keep him safe from the likes of you. I won't let you make Thomas into a liar. I won't let you lead Roman astray. But Deceit?"

"What?" Janus growled. His frustration was directed inward now, that he had thought any of this might make him feel better. Right. He should just go read Hobbes in the bath with his fire extinguisher handy.

"If you ever decide you want to… Well, be good. There's room for you at my table."

Janus crushed the matchbox in his clenched fist. If Patton applied his arbitrary standards fairly, he would see that Janus was good. But no, he was quite content to wear the blindfold of his own hypocrisy and leave Janus out to rot. "You're impossible," Janus said through clenched teeth. Before he could change his mind, he palmed the ruined matchbox into Patton's hand and turned to go.

"What's this for?" Patton asked.

Janus paused and gave his well-practiced supervillain smirk. "A promise."

Time to unleash the beast.

III.

Now more than ever, Patton was certain he was in over his head. He sat on the kitchen floor, hot chocolate untouched beside him, and stared at the crumpled matchbox in his palm. 'A promise,' Deceit had said. Patton hadn't been sure what to make of that, but he had an idea now.

Deceit was right. Patton couldn't control Remus. But that just meant he had to try harder. So now what was he supposed to do? Thomas was looking at him for guidance, but… He was supposed to ease up on judging Thomas for having evil thoughts, while simultaneously not letting Thomas be evil. Was he being too harsh or too lenient? And why did it feel like both?

"Well, well, well." Deceit's voice grated on Patton's ears. He made no effort to bolster himself, no effort to look anything other than despondent. Deceit must have been feeling truly bold to venture so far into enemy territory.

"Did you get what you wanted?" Patton asked, still staring at the matchbox. He didn't want to see that smirking face.

"Obviously not," said Deceit. "Chaos for chaos' sake was never the endgame."

"Then why are you here?" Patton asked, finally looking up. The angle and the brim of Deceit's hat kept his eyes in shadow, so all Patton could see was the mouth housing that forked serpent tongue.

"I'm here to offer you one last chance, Patton. Get out of my way."

"You can't put this on me," Patton said, looking again at the matchbox. "You said you were going to burn it down. If you're willing to hurt Thomas to get your way, then you shouldn't get your way."

Deceit twitched slightly and Patton could tell he was rolling his eyes even if he couldn't see it. "Have you heard of prescribed burns?" He didn't wait for Patton to answer. "It's when humans deliberately set fires to destroy some of the forest underbrush. Now, it seems counterintuitive, but regularly burning parts of the forest actually prevents wildfires from raging out of control. Does it hurt the underbrush? Yes. But sometimes things that seem harmless or even good are actually quite deadly if left unchecked. So a little bit of destruction actually serves the greater good. Do you understand?"

Patton furrowed his brow, trying to navigate this. "So you are willing to hurt Thomas to get your way."

"Why," said Janus, flexing his hands, "do I even bother?"

"Why do you bother?" Patton asked. He had never thought to wonder before. Evil was just evil and there was understanding it. But something in him had broken a little today; he could feel the edges of it poking at his chest.

Deceit sighed and shifted his weight. For a moment, Patton thought he might sit or kneel so they could talk at eye level but no, of course not, Deceit would never give up an advantage like that. "Because!" he said, agitated. "Because I know I'm right. I know Thomas needs me. I can help."

"If you truly loved him, you wouldn't be willing to hurt him," Patton said with conviction. That, he could be sure of.

"This is precisely why I've had to take such drastic measures!" Deceit actually stamped his foot, and Patton watched as he balled his hands into fists, the knit of his gloves straining at the knuckles. "None of you ever listen to me! You decided what I am long before I made my entrance and you only hear what supports that illusion." He took a slow, deep breath, and his voice was back to its usual silken glide when he spoke again. "I am asking you, one last time, to get out of my way."

"And I'm telling you" --Patton got to his feet so he could look Deceit in the eye-- "no."

IV.

They found each other in the aftermath, both their worlds shattered and still on fire. Janus, for once in his life, didn't know what to say. The walls around them flickered from the force of their combined imagination, showing crumbling drywall and collapsed framing, the smoldering ruin of everything they could have sworn was truth.

Janus had known that Patton was wrong about him, but he had never suspected that he might be wrong about Patton. The realization buzzed through his veins like electricity, along with a fatal determination that he and Patton were inexorably linked now.

Janus never thought he would say the words now coming out of his mouth and mean them, but Patton's magnetic draw seemed to pull them out as it pulled Janus closer and closer. "I was wrong, Patton. Maybe not about everything, but I was wrong about you."

"I did this," Patton said, gesturing at the broken-down walls. He seemed to feel the pull, too, if his gentle shuffle toward Janus was anything to go by.

Sarcasm seemed far beyond Janus' reach tonight, but perhaps not a few well-placed lies. "It's okay, Patton. Everything is okay." The flames moved in closer, consuming some of the wreckage, but Janus knew they were safe. It was all made-up, all of it. He could put the fire out if he could just focus on something other than Patton's tear-streaked face and oh, they were still getting closer and closer together. They'd be chest-to-chest soon. "I think…" said Patton. He wasn't crying now, thank God, because Janus didn't know what he would do. "Is it bad to find something beautiful in all of this?"

And there it was. The contact. Their foreheads touching, their hands intertwined. The two survivors of the wreck, drawn toward each other like magnets. "Very bad," Janus murmured, and he knew that Patton knew he was trying to talk himself out of what he did next.

He kissed Patton.

It was a terrible thing to do, probably his most selfish act to date. Here was Patton, devastated and willing to take whatever comfort he could find, and Janus was taking advantage. Even he had morals, but, oh, this was nice. He hadn't realized just how tense they had been with each other until it all suddenly snapped. And Patton was kissing back and had released his grip on Janus' hands so he could wrap his arms around him. Janus pulled away. "I shouldn't have done that," he said. "You don't need that. "

"Am I that bad at kissing?" Patton asked innocently.

"You didn't want that," Janus explained. "You're upset and you're not thinking straight." Patton was still holding him and despite the tear tracks still gleaming on his cheeks, he looked amused. Something ached at the back of Janus' tongue. "You don't want me."

Patton kissed him again, sweet and chaste this time. "Tell more about how I feel, Janus."

"I--" Couldn't think, couldn't think. "You--" Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Short-circuit. "But I-- You don't--"

"I didn't learn anything today," Patton said, "but I think I realized something that I've always known. Does that make sense?"

"This doesn't solve all our problems," Janus said. This couldn't be real. He couldn't allow himself to delight in this, not when it was going to go away. "You still don't approve of my methods and I don't agree with yours. We're going to disagree."

"You think I don't disagree with the others?" Patton asked and was that hope in his eyes. Here in the fire and ruins, here at the end of the world, Patton had hope. "I want to make this work."

Janus kissed him. This felt like less of a decision and more of a necessity, like breathing.

"So you believe me?" Patton asked when they parted. "You trust me?"

The answer was already yes despite the fear eating away at Janus' insides. It was more like a thrill than existential terror, and on some level he knew he must have been high on endorphins and adrenaline. "I trust you. But Patton?"

"Yeah?"

"What do we do now?"

"We make it work."

V.

There was something undeniably thrilling about seeing Janus in secret. But mostly, Patton just felt awful about it. Sneaking out of his room at night like a teenager was fun, tip-toeing down the hall to hide away in Janus' room definitely had a sort of teen movie appeal to it. It was the pretending that made Patton feel all sick and guilty.

"You look tired," Roman said. He still wasn't back to his vibrant self, but Patton had vowed to be gentle with him until he found his footing again.

Patton was tired. He and Janus had spent most of the night just talking, innocent as could be, both tucked beneath the covers of Janus' bed. He tried and failed to think of a good pun, something that might distract Roman. "I was up kinda late, I guess."

Roman nodded. It was just the two of them that morning, Virgil being a late sleeper and Logan having been increasingly reclusive as of late, despite his reconciliation with Patton and the others. "I'll make you a coffee. Something fancy. Dare I say, the best coffee you've ever had."

"Oh," said Patton, cheeks heating up. "You don't have to!" Guilt flooded his chest at the idea of taking advantage of Roman.

"I'm offering," said Roman. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll make one for myself, too."

That did make Patton feel better, if only a little. He sighed as Roman got up from the table and started bustling around in the kitchen. These days, Janus was always on the tip of his tongue. He didn't want to risk ruining Roman's good mood by bringing up such a painful subject, but… Patton couldn't keep going like this.

Hiding the relationship had of course been Janus' idea, but Patton couldn't deny the safety of it. For the first time, he realized how Deceit and Self-Preservation could share an identity. And while Patton knew his reasons were noble, he also understood that lying hurt. His friends would be devastated regardless of how they found out, but the destruction would be much worse if they found out accidentally.

"Something's bothering you," Roman said when he got back, holding two mugs piled high with whipped cream covered in chocolate shavings.

"I don't want to talk about it," Patton said.

"C'mon, Padre, we've talked about this. Sharing your feelings doesn't make you a burden. Especially if I'm asking."

Oh, Patton really didn't deserve Roman. "I know, kiddo, I just-- I'm not ready yet."

"Is this about J-- Him? Because I swear, if he hurt you, if he did something--" Roman cut himself off, and Patton appreciated that he looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry."

"I promise I'll tell you when I'm ready," Patton said.

"I suppose that's all I can really ask," Roman said with a nod. "Well, I'll be here when you're ready. It's the least I can do."

"Thanks, Roman." He was still having issues with negative self-talk, but Patton didn't feel like nagging him about it today. So he smiled and picked up a spoon to scoop up some whipped cream. "You're a good friend."

When Roman wandered off to go work on a new creative vision for Thomas, Patton booked it to the Other living room (he was no longer comfortable thinking of it as the Dark Side). While he wasn't exactly on friendly terms with Remus yet, he might be able to navigate a conversation with him if required.

But thankfully, Janus was sprawled out on the couch reading a book of blank verse poetry and Remus was nowhere in sight. “Everything okay, angel?” he asked, tilting the book down so Patton could see his eyes. He sat up so Patton could sit next to him, cuddling closer when Patton put an arm around his shoulders.

Patton fidgeted with the hem of Janus’ capelet. “I’m thinking I want to, um…” He paused, looking for the right words. “Bring you up? See what the others think about you coming around every once in a while. Or all the time.”

Janus stiffened. Patton rubbed his arm. “I’m sure they’ll be thrilled at the idea of having me around.”

“I wouldn’t leave you alone with them!” Patton said. He had learned, more through hints and inference than anything Janus had outright said, that Janus was deeply afraid of rejection and guarded his heart closely. “I just want… I want to stop lying to them and I want to stop sneaking around.”

“It’s safer this way,” Janus said, nudging Patton.

“But it’s not fair to them or to us to keep going like this,” Patton said. “I promise I won’t let them hurt you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Janus asked archly, one hand inching up Patton’s thigh. “You’ll be my hero?”

“You don’t need a hero,” Patton said, putting his free hand down on top of Janus’. “If you decide to go off on them, what you’ll need is a referee.”

“That is true,” Janus said, and Patton noticed with a rush of affection that he was trying not to smile.

“So can I?”

Janus turned and kissed him softly on the forehead. “Yes, angel. But only because you’re cute.”