#booo burn out sucks

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

The voices from inside the office raise to an aggravated, insistent pitch 'n Pony flinches back in the hall, presses both his shoulder blades to the wall until his back aches.

Darry's low baritone rumbles out but Pony can catch the irritation, a low B note in the bottom of his voice. He sighs, drops his head down into his hands. He was dead. Actually, he was more than dead. Darry was gonna kill him, dig him up, 'n killl him again. Jesus Christ.

"I understand that but-"

"Mr. Curtis-" Darry's sittin' the closest to the door so Pony can distinctly hear the low, long breath he lets out in frustration.

Good, Pony thinks, smugly 'cause if Darry's gonna whoop his ass he should at least have to understand what Pony dealt with all the goddamn time.

"Mr. McCoy. I understand that Ponyboy-"

"Mr. Curtis. I don't believe you comprehend-" Pony can't see him but he can distinctly envision Darry grindin' his teeth together, poppin' his knuckles in that way he did when he was tryin' to get a hold of his temper.

Pony kicks his sneakers on the tile, fiddles with the zipper on his backpack. He didn't know what the hell he was here for. Sure, he'd gotten a shitty grade on his last math test 'n he'd skipped chem Tuesday. Maybe he'd smoked out the bathroom window 'n lost track of time 'n showed up late to gym. But those weren't call Darry on his day off offenses.

He especially didn't know why they'd gotten his goddamn English teach in on the little reunion. The guy seemed to have it out for him. There was no way he was here to sing Pony's praises.

That man had somethin' against Pony from the day he'd first met him. Pony scowls, kicks at the floor, calls the memory up in his mind since he didn't have anythin' better to do but wait for Darry to come kick his ass.

Pony hadn't even done anythin' really. Truly he hadn't. He'd been a little late, sure, but that hadn't been his fault. Steve had driven him to school 'n they didn't call that shitty old car a beater for no reason. Steve had kicked the thing three times (in three separate places) to get the thing goin'. But then the lady at the front desk wouldn't give him a note so he'd just had to show up late with no excuse. Sue him.

He'd expected to get the run-of-the-mill jab, gettin' shook down a lil' for interuptin', on the first day no less. He'd hustled down the hall as fast as he'd dared, cracked the door with anticipation sittin' heavy in the back of his throat.

When he'd gotten his class list he'd showed it to Soda so they could compare notes 'cause Soda had been swapped around to nearly every teacher 'n had the low down on every single one. Soda had pulled a face, jabbed a finger at his English teacher.

Watch out for that one.

Why? Darry had rolled his eyes 'n paused in fixin' dinner to glance over his shoulder at Soda. He actually make you do your work? Watch his test answer sheet too closely?

'N usually Soda would grin all wide 'n crooked but he'd gotten a real serious look on his face, darted his eyes around like he wasn't sure how to say it. Naw. But... he's got a real problem. With, like, greasers. It's McCoy, Dar.

He'd walked in late that day 'n his teacher had gotten this real nasty look on his face. Somethin' vindicated 'n high 'n mighty like all the worst folks at church Mama used to insist they went to. Like they just knew they were better than you. 'N there was nothin' you could do to change that.

Curtis, right? I should have known. Off to a bad start already. Pony had drug his toe across the floor, stared down at his shoes, mumbled out his apologies. He shifted to slip into the first empty seat he saw, not lookin' up anymore than he had to. The man's hand had shot out quick smart, wrapped around his bicep 'n jerked him to a stop. 'N then hissed out, all low so only Pony could hear, I should have expected it. It's the same with all you Curtis'.

"This isn't the first time Ponyboy has been called to the office for a similar issue-" Pony jerks back to the present moment, the voice still ringin' in his ears.

"No, it's not but as we've spoken about before-" Darry tries to cut in, gets barrelled right over.

"I hate to say, but perhaps it's time Ponyboy followed the path of his brother." Pony lets out a low, keenin' noise from somewhere deep in his chest. He'd know from the day he met the man that he didn't think nothin' good of him. But it still stung, sliced him clean through.

He should just hedge his bets 'n drop out. Go work in a gas station 'cause that's all he was worth. 'N it makes his blood boil, not only for himself but for Soda too.

A chair slams against the wall inside the office, jarrin' the door open so Pony can see through inside. Darry's on his feet, face red, fists clenched tight by his sides so the knuckles are white. When he speaks, his voice is low, tightly leashed.

"Let me make one thing clear."

...

Soda kicks his feet a lil', scrapes the toe of his sneakers across the tile 'n leaves a rubber mark. McCoy's runnin' his mouth down the list of crimes Soda's committed, startin' right up with simply bein' alive.

It's nothin' he hasn't heard before. Soda probably spent more time sittin' outside that office than he ever had sittin' in a class. He'd skipped again today, probably just one too many, 'specially 'cause he didn't have anywhere to go but loiterin' around under the bleachers 'til someone snapped him up 'n drug him inside.

He still hadn't figured out exactly why they'd insisted on callin' Dar in. Or why in God's name his fuckin' English teacher seemed to be headin' the stupid meetin'.

"I don't understand why I needed to come in today. No disrespect, meant. Soda in some kinda trouble?" Soda chuckles to himself. He was always in some kinda trouble. Darry should know that by now.

"I confess, I only called you in today on the request of Mr. McCoy." The principal finally gets a word in edgewise 'n he sounds tired. "I understand there's been some problems with Soda."

Problems was a goddamn understatement. Soda was used to teachers dislikin' him. That was fine by him. He tended to run his mouth 'n distract his classmates 'n forget the work. But it really wasn't his fault. Soda was just dumb. He wasn't like his brothers. He just didn't get it. 'N teachers just didn't have time for someone as stupid as he was.

But then he'd met his ninth-grade English teacher. Who didn't just dislike him. He seemed to hate him.

"I've had Soda in my class for the past couple months 'n I've seen little to no improvement from him." McCoy starts up 'n Soda wants to tune him out. He really does. But it's too quiet in the hall for him to focus on anythin' else. "He rarely does his work if he shows up at all."

Ouch. But nothin' he hasn't heard before. It didn't mean anythin'. He was just stupid. His teachers all knew it. It didn't bug him. Maybe if he tells himself that enough it'll stop achin'.

"I understand Soda's had some issues in school. But it's been tough on them both since-"

"Mr. Curtis, if I may." Soda cringes. Darry had his fair share of patience. Really he did. Whether Pony would agree or not. But he hated that. Bein' cut off. "I believe this goes beyond your recent circumstances. I simply do not think Sodapop has a further school career here."

He wasn't sayin'- he couldn't be. Soda's heart climbs up his throat like when he took the hills comin' home a lil' too fast, flips over 'n dives down to the pit of his stomach.

He should have known. 'Cause everyone else sure did. "I hate to say it, but I would suggest that pullin' him out may be the best for him."

The doors been easin' itself open for the last five minutes like it always did. Like the pressure in the office was just higher then anywhere else 'n all that energy had to escape somewhere. Soda could understand the feelin'.

When he looks over he can see Darry rise to his feet, face flushed 'n more angry than Soda had seen him in a long time. Or maybe ever. When he speaks his voice rocks a little on the gravelly rasp it takes to not shout.

...

"I can't understand what your prejudice is regardin' my family." Pony's on his feet, hoverin' just outside the doorway. He feels sick to his stomach.

...

"I didn't come in today to hear you're opinion on the intelligence of my brother. But while we're sharin'-" Soda's leanin' so far over in his chair the arms dig into his stomach painfully.

...

"I have had multiple issues with the way you've behaved towards Soda 'n Ponyboy. You continue to blame your inability to teach on your students." Darry's speakin' all low 'n slow 'n Pony knows he's pickin' his words real careful like.

...

"I'm tryin' to put this professionally. 'Cause I know you already look down on us 'n I don't want to give you the wrong impression. But simply-"

...

"Leave my boys alone. If I hear another thing about you speakin' down to another kid like some of the awful things I know you've told my brothers, losin' your job will be the least of your worries." Darry snaps his jacket off the chair, turns sharply on his heel, nods once to the principal. "Now. If you'll excuse me."

...

Darry turns 'n almost barrels straight over Soda. "C'mon, kid. We're leavin'." He's still hot under the collar, takin' long lopin' steps 'n damn near draggin' Soda along behind him.

"Jesus Christ, Soda. I knew he was bad but I didn't know he was that bad. Who the fuck does he think he is?" He's mutterin' to himself 'n haulin' Soda along all through the parkin' lot. It's not til he gets to the truck he finally stops to look Soda in the eye.

He's not cryin' per say. But he's embarrassin'ly close. Darry freezes, grabs him by the shoulders to get a better look at him. Soda tilts his head away, swipes at his eyes hastily, cues up a laugh in his throat to brush it off.

"What's wrong, Pepsi?" 'N the stupid nickname is just the cherry on top 'cause then he's pressed into Darry's chest 'n he opens his mouth 'n just lets it all slip out.

...

"Maybe he's right, Dar." Pony's got his foot kicked up on the seat, head restin' down on his knee as Darry drives them both home.

"Huh?" He damn near swerves off the road, whips his eyes off the windshield to get a look at his brother.

"I dunno. Don'cha think it's a little, I dunno, pointless? We can't afford college for me, right? Maybe it'd be better if I just dropped out like Soda." Darry tears over four lanes of traffic 'n into the first empty lot he comes up on, Pony white knucklin' the seat.

...

"Sodapop Curtis. I wouldn't ever let anyone else talk about you like that. I ain't about to listen to it from you. Understand?" Darry's got him all held up tight to his body, ear pressed to his chest 'n Soda can hear the steady thump thump thump beatin' on.

"But-"

"No buts. Listen to me. There's always gonna be someone tellin' you you aren't smart enough or good enough-"

...

"But it ain't true. You got places to go, kid. You're my brother. 'N if you ain't got anyone else in your corner-"

...

"You always got me."

[evilminji]

Okay, you know how bird don't ACTUALLY look the way we think they do?

They are far more colorful? But only to the eyes of other birds?

And it has to do with how light reflects off them and how their eyes are shaped etc etc.?

Well..... humans can see the most shades of green, right? But! We sure as shit can't see UltaViolet and InfraRed? Or shades BEYOND those. Ectoplasmic colors. Magical ones. Third eye, need to see with your SOUL type ones.

Danny? Could very well still have lil baby "kitten's eyes who haven't open yet" syndrome.

He thinks the Zone is Green and his hair is white.

But it's not.

His hair is Starlight colored. Frost. His suit is specifically "the void between stars" colored. Which looks... different? Then black? No, no, guys. How can you guys not see it? It looks REALLY different! How did he not NOTICE before?! They're not ever CLOSE to the same shade! It's like calling salmon and hot pink the same. You know... if you were to compare an actual fish and some irradiated, violently glowing version of "hot pink".

......guys?

His gloves are.... guys, these ares stars. Pressed so close together there's no gap. His body is the night sky, all rearranged. He's wearing SPACE, guys.

*continues to stare at his gloves for the next five hours*

Now... why is this relevant? Because! Danny slowly, as all humans do, adjusts! It's like finally having glasses after years of blurry vision. He... forgets, what it was like, not NOT See Zone Colors. Not completely, mind you, but enough he has to be reminded.

And the Zone? A Realm of the Dead. Specifically, the great catch-all and highway of the Dead. They get EVERYBODY. Misfits and vagabonds. Those who don't quite fit. Funky lil dudes. And of course, assholes, but everybody has those! See, Zone colors?

Are DIFFERENT.

They're all of um!

It's like looking at the technicolor, stobe light, multi galaxies in one, Sun. Tingly(tm)!!! You get used to it. What helps? Is that as garish as the Zone is? The painting and grand tapestry of it all? Keeps changing. Like weather. If it's too much for you, you can stay inside your Lair until the current Color changes. Until the designs shift. Vibe changes.

There are even glasses for that! "Temperate" areas for people to set up, that get headaches or are just... kinda killjoys. Too each their own. Though the stormy areas? Those guys are freaks. Watch out for those guys. They're the kind who stare directly are stars until their eyes burn out.

Where was I? Oh yeah! Danny!

No longer a wee baby, smol baby, twig-o!

Sad. We miss it.

But he did get used to Seeing The Colors. Got a handle on his powers. And! Finally worked with his parents on how to safely turn the portal OFF. There was much booing. Cries of "kill joy" and "booo! You suck!". But? Like? Dude DID have the right to protect his home. Go to college. What can you do?

Problem with THAT is? Baby grew into his "built like a brick shit house of constantly running off to literally tackle the Supernatural excellence" Fenton genetics. He Tall. Muscles! And he PUMPING out "somethings fucked up with me" Vibes!

Add in his DEEPLY Sus off hand comments. Weird ability to tell when someone has or is about to die. Basic immunity to the cold. Fuckin EYE GLOW?

Ha ha... *Horror movie screams from his college dorm mates*

Clearly a demon!

He gets kicked out. Well... not kicked out. He's a model student and broken no rules. They'd never survive the lawsuit. But... he's? STRONGLY INCOURAGED to finish his education elsewhere. Repeatedly. By like... 15 colleges.

Sam is not just livid, she's actively foaming at the mouth.

Breathe, Sam! Remember what your doctor said! Your mortal body can't handle that kinda Vengance spiral! Think of your blood pressure! Breathe!!! (Were not for the laws of this land... and the weak, fleshy constraints of her mortal form!)

Thankfully? Tucker's been interning, remotely of course, with Wayne Industries. He asked his manager where he could find some of those scholarship forms. (Since Gotham University is just a touch out of Danny's price range.) Manager wanted to know why. And oh! Oh holy shit. Apparently? Danny is the hot new office gossip.

People in the main office are OUTRAGED. Danny's "too spooky"?! Too FUCKIN SPOOKY!? Are you KIDDING THEM? Even juicier, a Meta kid from some wacky ghost hunters turned scientists. From a line of Supernatural hunters. Wants to be a aeronautics engineer.

Ooooooh how SPOOKY! Better watch out! He'll design an ENGINE at yooooou!

Fuckin casuals. Non-Gothamites are WEAK. "Too scary" their collective asses. Yeah, maybe the kid SHOULD come too Gotham. He can be the weird kid. Mildly unsettling or something. His powers won't be SHIT in Gotham. Just remind him to buy a gas mask.

So! Danny gets his Scholarship! Merrily packs his bags for darker, Gothic hellscape hills. Unaware... that Constantine has been following reports of a "demon" that he's? 80% sure is a Banshee but MIGHT be a winter spirt with a shtick? For the past 13 colleges. He's getting closer. And this sucker is a strong one.

Not "this is going to cause me serious, life imperilling danger" strong. But more? "Man, that cat is HUUUUUGE". Could he still get mauled a lil? Yeah. Scratched to all hell and back? Probably! But DIE? Unlikely.

He just needs to know why the FUCK this spirit his hanging around colleges.

Which is made harder... by the fact that what HE sees? And what OTHER people see? When they look at this guy? Separate things. Yeah, he'd LOVE to give you guys a description! IF HE HAD ONE.

@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @hdgnj @spidori @babbling-babull @nerdpoe @lolottes

[addsalwayssick]

The sun and the moon

The moon loves the sun like fear loves the shadows. They love it like a devil who never lets go.

The sun loves the moon like the rain loves the summer. They love like an angel who can’t let go.

The problem with their love is that it’s dead as the sun. Everyone should’ve known that the moon would live longer than the sun. The sun shined too bright; they should’ve known the sun would burn out. So the stars were the only ones left.

please everyone comment: booo addie you’re flopping you suck what is this ??

[bleachbleachbleach]

You've mentioned you Headcanon Yumichika as the one actually keeping squad 11 going behind the scenes as it were, and that him threatening the squad 11 lackies about cleaning properly vs Ikkaku going “lol loser don’t get caught next time” was proof, I totally agree,

And there’s more supporting subtext in the Post-TYBW chapters; like Ikkaku might be the one to bring up that “hey isn’t the ceremony at the 1st not the 13th?” to Kenpachi, but he looks to Yumi for clarification who's like “wtf that’s your job (lieutenant) to know not mine (3rd seat)?” And the joke is that haha Kenpachi STILL gets lost, while also giving time skip exposition (aka the new ranks of the 11th). But it’s also Yumi foolishly thinking his Captain and lieutenant could at least READ an invitation that is addressed to THEM, not him. Also! Notice Squad 11 is the only one there with a +1/non Captain&Lieutenant in attendance (Yumichika) and no one is like hey what are you doing here? (like not even Ichika or Hanataro got an invite to Rukia's big day lol, or at least the Official Biznezz part). Like Yumi is the official 14th lieutenant

(I think it was mentioned in one of the light novels that Lisa's first choice for her lieutenant was Yumichika and she did ask but he said no. Love that he’s the #1 pick for a promotion but is always turning it down haha even without his Shikai powers truly being known! Also, Lisa and Yumi would have been an iconic Captain/Lieutenant duo y/n?)

and in the Hell Chapter, Ikkaku gets the “honey you are going to be late…what do you mean ‘late for what?’?” treatment from Yumichika. Like Yumi has learned from the last time! He’s gonna keep track of all the ceremonies Ikkaku and Kenpachi gotta attend because clearly Ikkaku being promoted changed nothing and he was a fool for taking his eye off the ball last time lol

(Also, can I say I love how Yumichika and Ichika interact here? She calls him Chika-san! That’s so cute! Do you think they are called the “Chikas” when they hang out together? And she immediately tells him he looks very pretty today and he compliments her right back. idk if it’s cuter that 1. she genuinely thinks he’s very pretty and knows he likes to hear it 2. she’s sucking up to her teacher by sucking up to teacher's SO or 3. she’s trying to stay on Chika-san's good side because she’s scared of being on his bad (she could tell a scolding for SOMETHING was about to happen and she wanted no part lol). Also, Yumi looks AMAZING in this chapter <3)

I also vaguely recall there being a filler arc scene/omake where it’s revealed Yumichika got sent on a mission because he was sorting documents while everyone else was fighting/sleeping/training and either Yaruchi or Kenpachi was like, booo boring go have fun fighting something.

A Lisa/Yumichika division would serve so hard the Gotei wouldn't know what to do with itself. But it would also cease to have a functional 11th, so they will never know the majesty. I'm imagining a Paris is Burning division. Then they'd really know the Gotei under Kyouraku was on a different path than previous!

As to your last paragraph I feel like that might've happened to him a FEW times, ahaha. The one I remember is from the Cake Episode, and it's Hitsugaya who throws him under the bus:

[Bleach e134]

Somehow, in all of Bleach--yes, including main plotline Bleach--the thing that most canonizes Hitsugaya's vindictive streak for me is the fact that in this instance, he does not express or act in deference to one single iota of sympathy for the situation Yumichika has found himself in, despite most certainly having experienced it himself.

Also worth noting that the episode right before this one was *Ikkaku terrorizing a high school kendo team* so no one was doing shittttttt lolol

[thewoollyviking]

Yes, Rose fucked up. She fucked up interpersonally with the gems and with Greg. And those choices were hers. She should be judged by those actions.

But why exactly do you think she kept those secrets? You think it’s because she’s some manipulative monsters or selfish coward?

No, it’s because she grew up under a living hell under the Diamonds.

Lemme give you some context here, friend;

According to the art books, all four Diamonds are rough around 20,000 years old. To give you an idea how old that is compared to irl history…

There are figures early humans carved from mammoth ivory and spear tip of flint that were made when the bottom of the North Sea was still a mammoth steppe in Doggerland.

Subtract the time Rose spent on Earth after the war (give or take a few centuries) and assuming the craptastic treatment she endured under the Diamonds has pretty much been the norm for all that time, and she had been abused for roughly 10-12,000 years. Rose’s pain predates written language and agriculture.

I. Do not. Give. A single. Chicken. Fried. Fuck. How sad the Diamonds think they were after losing Rose.

Oooooh booo fucking hooo Blue sulked in the middle of a human zoo Rose never even wanted in the first place.

Yellow knew she wanted to spare Earth and wanted to blow it up.

And White’s first action seeing “Pink” return was to send a mind controlled version of her original Pearl to greet her as a power move. To remind her what happens when she doesn’t control her power.

They didn’t mourn Rose. They mourned the person they wanted her to be.

And that’s made all the more clear once they realize Steven isn’t Rose. No moment to think about how Rose being gone was actually their own fault, not the act of some outside gem. Not moment to think about why Rose was so desperate to run away.

“Aww Pink’s gone? Gee that sucks. Welp, time to find a new pink!”

Fuck dude, some people mourn Healthcare CEOs more than the Diamonds actually mourned Rose.

And yet they get that nice fairy tale happy ending where they can be quirky space grandmas who think what they’re doing will ever hope to make up for the suffering they caused.

Meanwhile, Rose’s own loved ones feel like they have to apologize for daring to mention her in a positive light and say they’re making excuses for her.

Steven by the time of Future isn’t facing any gems that are actually a threat (bluebird is a joke character she don’t fucking count). He’s spent 5 seasons demonstrating why it’s better to talk about your feelings and the gems offer to help him at pretty much every turn and yet Steven chooses to forego that in favor of taking everything out on Rose.

The Diamonds have been the instigators who make every worse without fail. They’re the reason Rose came out as such a broken fucking person and yet we’re asked to pass more judgement on her for not being enough of a perfect fucking princess to solve things Steven’s way?

Rose spent her entire goddamn life clawing her way out of that pit of misery but we’re supposed to scoff at her for getting mud on her dress along the way?

What the fuck was the point in showing that Rose spent that lifetime trying to be better to just end it with “maybe her family would be better off if they just stopped thinking about her altogether.”

There’s a fucking reason this stupid fucking fandom took glee in harassing me and friends of mine for not joining them in burning Rose at the stake and it’s because of how Future, either due to time constraints or genuine creative decisions, completely dropped the ball on her.

I still love this show. But I cannot and will not ever watch Future. And if Rose ain’t there to heal, than at least let me take comfort in making the Diamonds hurt.

Sometimes I think about how and why some people had such a *bad* reaction to the end of Steven Universe, specifically in regards to the Diamonds living.

Even though they no longer are causing harm to others and are able to actually undo some of their previous harm by living, some folks reacted as though this ending was somehow morally suspect. Morally bankrupt, even.

And I think it might be because so many of us were raised on a very specific kind of kids media trope:

They all fall to their deaths.

Disney loves chucking their bad guys off cliffs. And it makes sense- in a moral framework where villains *must* be punished (regardless of whether their death will actually prevent further harm or not), but killing of any kind is morally bad for the hero, the narrative must find a way to kill the villain without the protagonists doing a murder.

It's a moral assumption that a person can *deserve* to die, that it is cosmically just for them to die, that them dying is evidence that the story itself is morally good and correct. Scar *deserves* to die, but it would be bad for Simba to kill him. So....cliff. (edit: yes, cliff then hyenas. But cliff first. Lol.)

Steven Universe, whatever else it's faults, took a step back and said "but if killing people is bad, then people dying is bad", and instead of dropping White Diamond off a cliff, asked "what would actual *restorative*, not punitive, justice look like? What would actual reparations mean here? If the goal is to heal, not just to punish, how do we handle those who have done harm?" And then did that.

Which I think is interesting, and that there was pushback against it is interesting.

It also reminds me of the folks who get very weird about Aang not killing Ozai at the end of Avatar. And like, Ozai still gets chucked in prison, so it doesn't even push back on our cultural ideas of punitive justice *that much.* and still, I've seen people get real mad that the child monk who is the last survivor of a genocide that wiped out his entire pacifist culture didn't do a murder.

[inact-ice]

Season 2 episode 9 let’s go!

- I’m so excited to learn more about hennn

- hen wtf is on your head. Ope not the men awkwardly laughing. White people cant recognize a black queer person if said black queer person was wrapped in a rainbow flag

- hen girl I hope you have savings or a backup plan.

- she’s at a career counsellor? This counsellor has fantastic hair, hen you should learn from her. Though this look does fit this time period.

- HEN AS BATMAN?!!

- this career counsellor is useless, im pretty sure she’s gonna have a medical emergency- oop down she goes! Ohhh so she’s a life coach. Yay hen you saved her life! I’ve been taught cpr twice and I wouldn’t have been able to save that lady

- hi hens ex girlfriend! I hate you. And right on track she’s being dismissive about hens dreams, Karen would never!!

- ooh ok they’re getting a little intersectional wit it.

- I’m pretty sure this is the episode where we meet Tommy and the severity of his bigotry will influence how I view him through the whole show, I still hate Billy from stranger things for being racist to Lukas

- hell yeah cherry bomb!

- OMG YES BURN THE HELL OUT OF YHAT UGLY WIG JESUS CHRISY THANK YOU

- cherry bomb kinda is the perfect song for this montage wow

- GO HEN GOOOOO

- WOOOOO SHE DID IT! GIRLS IN BLUE! GIRLS IN BLUE! YIPPEE

- oh I can sense the bigotry about to come. Hi Gerard. Ugh I hate him already

- TOMMY! In 5 seasons people go crazy over you and so far I cannot see why. CHIMNEY! Ugh chimney you’re constantly raising the bar, love you

- Tommy being workplace bullied for being gay… ok I’ll hold my judgements- WOAH! New York BITCHINESS… guys come on

- Gerard you are the worst and the fact that they trivialize your mess in the latest season is actually so horrific

- BOOO WHO CARES WHO THESE WHITE LOSERS SIT WITH ANYWAY! POC SOLIDARITY I KNOW THATS NOT RIGHT!!! See if Tommy could be a bit more like chimney that would go a long ways, like just a little ‘we’re in this together’… but I guess at the end of the day marginalized white people will always choose their whiteness over their marginalization, and gay white men are kinda notorious for being really bad for that. Hope he gets a good redemption arc ig

- hens gonna save the hell out of this woman!! Tommy shut the hell up, why question the paramedic oh my lord. GERARD SHUT THE FUCK UP SAME QUESTION TO YOU

- ATHENA AND HEN MEETING EEK! Omg yeah hen really is staking her whole job on this. But ofc it’s working bc she’s a genius!

- Gerard please be so fucking for real right now you useless loser trash goblin

- at least we have poc and black woman solidarity. But chimney being so nice to her really highlights how much certain other people suck… but lemme not repeat myself too much.

- hen you can’t hard work yourself into being respected by this awful bigoted man. Oh I’m so glad Buck punches this man in the face or whatever, I hate him so much… and this is the guy people were calling silly and goofy and funny? Oh I see how it is

- yay hen and Athena friendship hours! Marginalized first responders club, aw I love this for them. I like these guys, especially Casey! Hell yeah Athena, even tho your job is like inherently awful, this is valuable advice

- aw wait guys I feel so bad I already hate Tommy and his stupid face😭 I just can’t believe he called her a bitch completely unprompted like what. I was under the impression that he did all this stuff like totally prompted by Gerard

- oh hen this speech is so goooood, 10/10 monologue! And ofc chimney supports her instantly, solidarityyyyy

- will tommy be nicer to hen now that he knows they’re both gay

- hen fuck that guy, you are so right as always. CHIMNEYYYY, you are suuuuch a fave I love you! Sooooolidarity! No bc he’s like risking his JOB for her! Where’s Tommy??? Nowhere to be found. I wish I hadn’t known he was gay beforehand bc that makes it feel more like a betrayal

- oh shit I really hope this kid survives. YAY! YAY CHIMNEY AND HEN VULNERABLE CRYING BEST FRIEND SOLIDARITYYYY

- oh yay they’re giving hen her flowers! Ok! All is not forgiven bc I didn’t hear an apology, but that was pretty ok!

- YAY GERARD GOT FIRED?!! Oh the guys stepped up! Yippee, hen I’m so happy for you. Not to make this about Tommy but I hope it’s revealed that he was one of the guys to complain bc that would fix a lot for me

- chimneyyy you mischievous little MAN! I love you chimney, you’re the best!

- they did such a good job of writing hen without making her a mammy bc I can see how these writers would’ve messed that up but damn

- hen redeeming herself with her outro speeches love it

Ok that’s definitely my favourite episode so far, the writing was very good (even though they dropped and picked up some themes on intersectionality kinda abruptly) and I feel like I know hen a lot better now! Like I’ve thought before that she can be kinda snippy sometimes, not in a bad way or anything, it’s just something I’ve noticed! And this episode really showcased that it’s not that she’s snippy, but that she’s one of those people who’s really outspoken and very principled. It’s kind of refreshing to see from a show where our other main black representation is Athena…. But lemme not go on my cop rant. Yeah this episode was just great for the most part, and the emergencies were strangely more grounded than other emergencies in other shows, so I felt more anxious during them. Ig part of it was the knowledge that hen could be fired at any moment too. This whole episode has made me feel so happy for where hen is now, she has such a strong support system who’ll protect and support her against things like racism or sexism now, it makes me so happy!

I gotta say, I’ve been thinking of some posts I’ve seen regarding Tommy while I watched this episode, and while I think the posts that say he didn’t really do anything wrong of his own fruition are like lying for some reason, he’s definitely not irredeemable! I’m cautiously optimistic to see the development of his character all the way in season 7 and to see how he’s changed and stuff. I don’t get why everyone likes him so much yet, but ig this is just like the point in the character arc where he’s at his lowest and I do see potential!

[sharksrcool2]

ive realized pretty quickly im treating this like my 9-5 lmao, so im gonna make it a rule that once my break ends im only allowing requests every other week unless i specify otherwise !

art requests are tiring me out and i have bad memory (booo adhd) so i forget stuff if its out of sight and tumblr isnt on a whiteboard in my room underlined twice with red marker so i do tend to forget it once in a while

i think im gonna start taking requests for matthew monday specifically with exceptions sometimes (still cant hurt to ask dont NOT request something because it isnt matthew, just keep in mind i might say no or youll have to wait quite a while)

i love taking art requests and everybody who has so far has been absolutely fantastic and so nice but if i continue with the pace im going i just know im gonna burn out, and i wanna make sure art stays a fun thing for me

again, thank you all so so so much for your requests nobody did anything wrong and my asks ARE staying open, but i cant have a list of things to draw by the end of the week every week because the soul WILL get sucked out of me and i WILL be like that image of the guy with the shackles at the drawing tablet

tl;dr changing the rule to drawing asks being every other week unless i specify otherwise and i encourage everyone to give me matthew drawing requests but non-matthew ones are still allowed

[rsbry-beret]

watching vox machina for the first time!!

SPOILERS BELOW. SO MANY. FOR ALL THE EPISODES IN SEASON 1

telling apart vax and vex is gonna SUCK

liam obrian my beloved

they’re so stupid this mean council guy is OBVI a dragon who can shapeshifte,, these fools

the king is a dilf

awwww vax with kids

AWWWW THE KIDS ARE DEAD UH

gnc barkeep nice

this show is rly gross like. barf blood ew

THSI INTRO SLAPS

thought fince the dragon was just trying to drive down real estate prices until he mentioned bargaining w gold

TUSK LOVE in gilmore’s shop omg

WAIT THE SCOTTISH GUYS THE DRAGON WHATTTTT NOT THE RAISIN GUY ???

why is there a troll dick

this sad victorian stage coach??? apparently his name is DESMOND which. yeah.

omg vampire nevromancer power couple?? hate them but also love that for them.

i’ve been told to stop chanting “horsdeourves” (how spell)

oh 1% anime boy has trauma D:

THE SNAKES NAME IS SIMON 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

vax ur awesome

yea okay i love percy hes my fav

apparently he needs wooden bullets?

side note would silver work ???? bc ik silver works for “evil” creatures generally like werewolves and steel for “nice” creatures like fey?? so would vampires count hmmm

also btw their fancy outfits are so coooool i love them !!

we’re taking a break and i have many thoughts;

do grogs tattoos have significance??

also cleric struggling w faith hell yea cool side quest tho

vax being disaster bisexual ICONIC of him

surprisingly i am not struggling w vax vs vex names v much :0

BEADS OF LOVE

your soul is forfeit dude ur so cool

duuuude secret passages!!!

WHY did the guards keep the twins together??? big stupid moment ngl

woa the ever light kinda dark tho. just saying.

keyleth <3 ur so nice 🥰🌸😇

ghosts fuck yes

NOOO THE GUARDS WERE SO HOT NOOOOO

aw grog not wanting to break piles shrine

ghost grabbed grogs titties lol

why doesn’t ANYONE have the light spell omgggg

PERCY IS CURB STOMPING A GHOST RN WHAT

He’s my fav

oh my GOD grog’s “what if i need you?” 🥺🥺🥺

“you’re their light now” stfu 😭😭

omg gilmore’s back :0

ok but what the heck IS percys weird shadow smoke thing??? intriguing

oh my god vax is a bisexual disaster wow.

these scenery shots are sooo pretty oh my god

oh my god that’s a massive fuck off dog

woaaa cool omg it’s just a torso that’s metal as fuck

that’s awesome ok

wow

hahah cool blood dogs okie

it’s sorta trottin along aww

percy’s tutor guys is eugh

AWWWW VAX “kiki”

bruh “friend”

wow these guys. suck at not accidentally bringing up percys trauma lol

vex’s abandonment issues popping off okay

this whitestone flashback is GORGEOUS so it’s gonna be in ruins now :/

yea it sucks now 😬 sun tree looking uhhhh

fits the vampire aesthetic a lot more now ngl but i like the pretty version personally

oh damn. the ending of episode 5. damn. augh

percy V pale. vitamin deficiency? very very white boy

why tf are there giants/goliaths here?? does not make sense bestie like is it an ecosystem thing? additional guard force?? i am wondering.

whitestone? more like graystone OOOOO BURN it’s bc the city is dirty.

religious person keeping the peace? BOOOO RISE UP VIVA LA RESISTANCE

Oh nvm she’s in the resistance ! sick. good for her.

aww archie and percy childhood crushes?? adorable

everlight on FIRE?? i guess not dark now but that can’t be good oof

“those were bad ideas and you should all feel bad” so tru bestie

also vax and percy standing like a power couple in that scene polycule rights

that’s a RLY COOL gun scope omg

haha back door team are all bottoms

oh my GOD they can’t open the door jesus

help action unsuccessful yikes scanlan

scANLANS FOOT???

PERCY FELL OUT A WINDOW

oh my god archie is nice and i like him <3

keyleth going FERAL I LOVE THAT FOR HER

WAIT. scanlans piercing is on the gay ear !!!!!

FUCK YES NO MERCY PERCY

and the NAME melts off the GUN this RULES

Cassandra is alive!!!!! holy shitttt

percy was a NERD in his youth

still is lol

this tutor suuuuuuucks booo

“who’s the sixth barrel for?” THE SHADOW. OH.

awwww archie and percy <3 <3 cute

let. me. be. annoying.

oh this lute music is a VIBE.

scanlans song slaps as well this is great

OMG THE GUARDS ARE PLAYING DND HAHA

“he’s a really tall guy” “scanlans just got shrunk” thanks @a-human-pippin-took i’m dumb at moments

WHAT FIRE BREATH WHAHAHAT HA

HEY HE IS BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE!!!!

this rules.

DUDE HES A TRICERATOPS THIS IS AMAZING 🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖

So dinosaurs are real??? or are they like mythical creatures in this universe ?

i can’t believe this mission was a total success good job scanlan

dick lightning omg nice sam

oh shit. cass. fuck man.

FUCK this tutor guy !

this loser brought a sword to a gun fight. sHit nvm he brought golems

OH MY GOD SHES ALOVE SHE SURVIVED JESUS CHRIST AH THANK GOD

pikes side quest goin Wild rn

oh THATS what it’s supposed to look like. a bit more light-y

oh this possession thing is uhhhhhh Fucked Up

oh my GOD percy is cool. fucked up but cool.

cass is. she has trauma as well! oof moment

oh my god. keyleth and the de rolo crest. that’s cool as fuck 😌😌

this vampire building is cool af and definitely trustable!!

uhhh that’s some. strange looking ceiling mold. 😬

oh FUCK THAT the hanged children have been ununalived now

ARCHIE NOOOOOIIIIIIOOOOOOIIOJOOKOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD

still torn up about that but holy shit keyleth

aw “kiki” 💚💚💚

that was a V good speech percy!! i miss archie :,(

oh my god “you know i’m in love with you, right?” “NOW?”

PIKE YES

“marry me?” “yes right now let’s do it” “really?” “no”

aw fuck still zombos

necromancer lady tattoo is messy as fuck. stick poke?

vax u CANT just free EVERYONE who the briarwoods hate,,

woa percy what did she do tho

oh this credits song!! <3 cute

oh FUCK this doctor lady

egh i rly don’t like anna ripley eghhhh

i agree w scanlan lol the smoke is a Bit fucked up lol lol hmmmm

WOA

OH MY GOD WHAT PERCY WHAT UR SOUL DUDE WHAT WOAH WHAT

this is so sus

cass u better be chill and not not chill

OH THATS SO COOL OMG “you’re at the bottom of my list”

taliesin king of one liners and crow noises

i only just realized pike is astral projecting

sick dagger vax 🔥🔥🔥

WAIT THE NAME CAS NO

shit fuck balls i called it

shittttt

percys crying vex is crying i’m gonna cry

HEAVY METAL

grog why is ur dick named that,,,,,

oh scanlan u genius

WATCHING W SUBTITLES ORTHAX IS THE WEIRD DEMON WTF AHHHH

percy holding his arm back from shooting cass,,,

oh my god scanlans muted,,,, smart but UGH

PIKE !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕💕

KEYLETH THE LIGHT YEs

WEAKENS VAMPIRE FREES VEX THIS RULES YES

FUCK. YES. PIKE. THIS IS AWESOME KICK HER ASS

ok that fight was EPIC

And cass is more chill again!

aw fucks sake vampire lady pls stop it jeez

KEYLETH

the demon is orb

shittttttt

percy nooo ur soul is being overtaken haha

okay i got so wrapped up in the last episode i forgot to write ANYTHING but this show is VERY GOOD i highly recommend

!!!

[anythingandeverything1d]

Tensions

You were standing in the crowd of hundreds of screaming girls. You were front row, about to watch the love of your life perform his first show for his new album. You were beyond proud. You knew how hard he had worked to get to this point. You knew all of the pain, energy, love and passion he had put into the album, let alone all of the work that had gone into the tour. Originally you weren't going to be able to join him on tour for another 3 1/2 weeks. When that had changed, you had the band secure you a pass and tickets for the first show and now here you were, front row waiting to see Harry walk out on stage and kill it. The band began playing and you saw him walk out. He sang, his eyes closed, just taking in the moment like you knew he loved to do. 

When the first song ended he looked around with a smile, thanking everyone for coming. His eyes landed on yours as they traveled the arena and you grinned, giving him a little wave. His mouth fell open, tears were in his eyes and his smile, well it was enough to send every girl in the audience home wet. Harry reluctantly tore his eyes off of yours and continued on talking with the audience. He looked over at you again as the next song started and gave you a wink. 

“This song is very special to me. It reminds me of the day I fell in love. I actually fell in love singing What Makes You Beautiful, but that day I had this gut feeling. An aching feeling in body.” He winked and you gave him a smirk. “I wanted a song to reflect that feeling and well here it is, Watermelon Sugar.” He started singing watermelon sugar and you felt the heat inside you burn hotter as you watched him perform. Harry was running his hands down his body, moving to the music.”I just want to taste it...I just want to taste it...Watermelon Sugar High” You felt yourself dripping wet just thinking about everything Harry had planned for after the concert. He was biting his lip and smirking at certain lyrics, specifically at “I want your belly” Harry gave you the look. The look that said it all, your eyes traveled down to the bulge that you knew was already growing in size. You wiggled your eyebrow and he blushed. You bit your lip and took a breath. He looked good, his hair perfectly brushed back into a wave, the suit he was wearing with the shirt underneath unbuttoned enough that you could see the traces of his tattoos. 

He finished the song and took a drink of water, sweat was dripping down his neck and face. “Take off your shirt!” you yelled from your seat. The fans around you screamed in support and Harry raised an eyebrow at you trying not to laugh. 

“I am not taking my clothes off.” he answered giving you an amused look. “This is a family show!” He was teasing you, almost as if he were asking you to take it off for him.

“Booo!” you jokingly yelled up to him. He laughed and dropped the jacket to the floor and unbuttoned his shirt. 

“OR IS IT?” he yelled again, causing everyone to go wild, along with you. You jumped up and cheered. Fuck, did he look good tonight. There was just something about him, he had his confidence back up and it was attractive as hell. 

Harry picked up the mic and started singing Adore you. “This next song is going to be dedicated to a very special guest here tonight. She looks stunning and I just...I just adore her.” The crowd screamed and you gave him a little clap before laughing and singing along. “Walk in your rainbow paradise, strawberry lipstick shade of mind” Harry licked his lips and wiggled his eyebrows at you. You blew him a kiss and he pretended to catch it. His hand extended out, was brought back to his lips. Harry moved to the other side of the stage but when he sang the lyrics, “Lately you've been on my mind” he walked over to where you where, knelt down and reached his hand out. Your fingers brushed against his and he smiled. His eyes playing games with you and traveling up and down your body. When he noticed the heels he nearly forgot the words to his song. Luckily he finished, took a drink of water and spit it out over the side of the audience where you were. “Saw some hot looks over here and thought you could cool down a bit. We’ve got quite a lot of show left.” His eyes sparkled in your direction and you blushed. 

Harry’s eyes said enough during the show to drive you crazy. All you wanted was to be in his arms, kissing his lips, and celebrating. Once Harry had moved onto the last song you pushed your way out of the audience and backstage. You stood there listening to him kill it and were filled with so much pride and happiness. You were also anxiously waiting, your body was ready and there was only one thing on your mind right now. 

Harry finished and ran off stage, his head looking both directions for you. He was unbuttoning the rest of his shirt when his eyes found yours. You sprinted to him, jumping into his arms and kissing him hard on the lips. Harry stumbled back momentarily but he shifted your weight and smiled. Your legs tightened around his waist, your skirt allowing the heat of your body to press into his bare waist. Harry laughed deeply and carried you to his dressing room. He dropped you to the floor, locked the door and turned to you with a shake of the head. “You...:” he laughed. “You have been driving me mad all night.” He closed the gap between the two of you and pushed you into the couch. 

“What are you going to do about it Harold?” you asked teasing him. 

Harry dropped his pants to the floor and grabbed your legs. He spread them apart and stood between them. He grabbed your chin and tilted your head up to look at him and he kissed you. His kiss was forceful enough that your lips had already started to swell. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth and tangled with yours. His hands went up your skirt, tugging off the already wet panties. Harry pushed you back and layed over you. His hands were tearing off your shirt and unhooking your bra. His lips were trailing down your neck. Your eyes were glazing over as he kissed his way down your neck to your chest. He wrapped his tongue around each nipple, causing your back to arch and a moan to escape from your mouth. Harrys hands cupped your breast and he squeezed, his length already anxiously pushing against you. Harry yanked your skirt off and tossed it to the floor, his hands rubbing between your newly exposed areas. “Fuck babe youre already so wet..” His fingers rubbed the clit and you moaned his name. He laughed, loving the reaction he was getting out of you. He pushed three fingers in and twirled them around moving them in and out quickly. You gripped the cushion for support and your head rolled to the side, his lips taking advantage of the newly exposed skin behind your ear. He pulled his fingers out and sucked the warmth off them one by one before returning his lips to yours. Harry’s length was pulsing through his briefs. You tugged them down, exposing it. He rolled his hips into yours, his length just barely entering. You whined and he smiled. “Tell me...” he breathily got out. “Tell me what to do.”

You whined again and tried pulling his hips down further but it was no use. He laughed deeply and looked at you waiting for your answer. “Fuck me.” you whispered. His lips collided with yours, his hips shoving themselves into yours. His length diving deep into you. Your fingers tore at his back, leaving red welts down the entirety of his back as he moved in and out faster and harder. He turned you over, his hand firmly on your back, his breath falling unevenly down your cheek and your ass clapping together as he moved faster. You groaned his name, letting out deep moans and holding onto the couch. Harry was acting on adrenaline, his body pulsing with energy. He pulled out and then shoved back in, rolling you back over and kissing your lips, pulling your bottom lip with his own. His hands dug into your breasts and you had reached your limit. “I-Im close...” you managed. 

Harry laughed and kept going. “Hold on a little longer love.” He pulled completely out and pushed back in hard. “I want to make this last...” He lifted your legs and pushed farther in, his hips smacking against your skin.

“Harryyyy” you groaned. “Fuck.” 

He kissed you, cutting off more groans escaping from your mouth. “Im ready.” he said. He let go and you let go. Harry’s eyes glossed over. He froze. You felt him fill inside you, the warmth falling out as he pulled his length slowly out. Harry kissed his way back down your chest and kept going down farther. He gripped your legs tightly and pushed them farther apart. His head was in between them, his lips against you. His tongue flicked inside you and your head rolled back again. He pushed harder against you, sucking, trying to get the taste of the two of you combined into his mouth. After he was satisfied, he returned his lips to yours. 

You tasted yourself on his lips and pulled his body to yours. “I’m so fucking proud of you Harry.” you whispered between kisses. He smiled and pulled away. 

“For this?” he was out of breath and so were you. 

You laughed and smacked his bare ass. “For everything. All the work you've done, your show was amazing...you were incredible tonight Haz/” 

He stood up and grinned. No you were incredible.” He winked and pulled on his briefs. “I still cant believe you're here.” 

You stood up and wrapped your arms around him, your chin resting on his chest. “I wasn't about to miss this.” He laughed and picked up a t-shirt from the floor and then handed it to you. 

“Come on, if we don't get back soon the band will worry.” He turned and gave you a smirk. “That’s if they aren't already worried about the screams you were giving.”

You smacked his arm and pulled on his shirt and your skirt. “And who’s fault is it for me screaming.”

Harry just laughed, he gripped your hand in his and wrapped his other arm around your neck. He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek and winked. “Just wait until later tonight.”

--

Got this request (kind of...I changed it up a bit), hope its okay!

xoxo

[rhysreece]

Business End

5/7

It's usually Remus on the delivering end of a messy bloody bash to the head, being on the receiving end sucks, he decides. His head is all foggy, and the usual stream of thoughts and ideas is eerily quiet. He tries to get out of the bed, so painfully white it feels like his eyes are going to shrivel up and turn to dust, or something.

That cotton-stuffed brain feeling won't go away, and it makes it very hard to think. When he goes to get up, though, flashing spots dance across his vision and the world takes LSD for a second, before stilling. The movement stirs something in his stomach, and his throat spasms as he gags, and does eventually throw up, shaking and dry-heaving. The sudden movement sends him into another dizzy spell, and his stomach churns again.

The ringing in Remus' ear hasn't subsided either, adding more substance to the 'cotton-for-brains' theory with how it muffles the sound of him moving. He vaguely notices that he's not wearing his usual trash bag style, but a white t-shirt and matching trousers, but no socks! His octopi socks are gone! The travesty!

He winces at the throbbing pain in his skull as he moves to get a better look at the scars and doodles on his feet, poking at the area with reckless abandon, and only letting out a long string of very vulgar language when he hits a spot which sends those blossoming spots in his eyes again, and the world goes black for a second.

When he wakes up, it's a physical effort to open his eyes, like they'd been glued together, or they'd melted. The feeling of a head stuffed with itchy, but soft cotton grows, to the point where he struggles to stand up off the floor, and doesn't even notice the blood staining the white floor red.

Instead, he flops onto his bed. The lights above him burn like the hottest flames, drawing involuntary tears, so painfully bright, far past the point of pleasure, and it feels like his skull is on fire and trying to escape his flesh. The pounding in his skull, his own heartbeat, seems slower in his semi-conscious state, so he does the sensible thing and manifests an image of Logan.

The not-Logan sits at the end of his bed, kisses his hand with a feeling like the wind from a butterfly wing, and starts looking him over.

"You have to stay awake, my morning star, stay with me, dear."

Remus, being the lover man he is, would do whatever his love askes, and so he forces himself awake, slowing his drift into the inevitable comatose state that comes with sleep.

Elsewhere, the actual Logan, along with Virgil, are ready to enact their plan. Patton, being the predictable puppy-lover he is, has given the keys to a golden retriever, with a bandana to match Patton's shirt. Logan remembers its name from previous appearances, usually during the summer.

Virgil calls out to Lucy, the sweetheart, because of their bond, her doubling as Virgil's emotional support dog behind Patton's back. Because why would you tell Patton something like that unless you wanted to die.

Lucy, the good girl she is, drops the keys in Virgil's cell, gets lots of belly rubs and a dog treat he has on him. Virgil reaches through the bars, and unlocks the door to his cell with such uncanny ability that he intends to look into later. With support from Virgil and a bit of rudimentary first aid, they're able to hobble out of the dungeons, and sink into Virgil's room.

It's Patton-proofed by the greyhound-sized spiders Arachne and Athena, who guard the main room. Virgil carries him to the actual bedroom, and then sets about sewing him back together.

"Virgil, I believe I have found my Halloween costume this year- ow."

"Hold still- Right? What's that, then."

"A shorter, grumpier alternative of Frankenstein's monster"

"Booo."

"... So who do we target next? Roman, or Remus?"

"There's someone else we need first. He'll help us a lot, unfortunately."

"Who?"

[trufflerabbit13]

A Dove’s Ripped Wings: Chapter 5 | I Hate Volleyball

prologue / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

Chapter 5

Word Count: 5.4 k

🏐 🏐 THIRD PERSON P.O.V.🏐 🏐

Sawamura Daichi had always been pretty sure about himself. He knew his likes and dislikes, understood what he strived for, what he had to do to succeed. He liked to think he was a reasonably nice guy, with a small group of people he could call his close friends. He liked keeping an eye out for these friends, making sure they were okay.

Recently, there was an addition to a group of people he called his friends. While Daichi usually tended to stay with people near his age, he hadn't had an issue befriending this younger girl. While their meeting was somewhat dangerous, seeing as he did stop her from tumbling down the stairs, it was probably what solidified their relationship. It was a day Daichi was glad he decided to leave his house early, no matter how tired he had felt.

Ibato Chiaki was someone that he wanted to keep around him because he was concerned for her. Some may ask if he pitied her. But that wasn't the case. Instead, he admired the tall, silver-haired female. She was a strong young woman with a heart of gold. She loved from the bottom of her heart, loyal to those she cares, warm and accepting.

However, Daichi also knew that behind those characteristics, she hid something deeper within her, unwilling to share it with him or Sugawara. Not yet, at least. Something Daichi was hoping would change as they grew closer. The Karasuno VBC captain was pretty sure that it was the same for Sugawara, his closest friend.

On multiple occasions, Daichi had seen Chiaki shrink back, a distinct look flashing in her eyes. While she stayed strong, there were times when she could become so fragile that he couldn't help but want to stretch his hand out to her. And, as much as his heart hurt, he knew the younger girl wouldn't take it.

In moments like those, Daichi never pushed her, allowing Chiaki to have her space. Or if he can, swerve her away from whatever that made her like that. He's been successful in doing precisely that with the help of Sugawara in the past.

But right now, he wasn't too sure if he'll be successful in doing that. Especially when a certain orange-haired first-year had no knowledge of the healing scars Chiaki had.

"Ace?! Wow! Wow! Wow! That has such a cool ring to it!" Hinata gasped, his brown eyes wide and shining as he jumped around in excitement. "And number one wing spiker, woah?!"

In his excitement, the ginger didn't notice the VBC members waving their arms frantically behind Chiaki, trying to stop him from continuing the conversation. Even Kageyama looked a bit panicked, the dark-haired boy's eyes widened as he opened and closed his mouth.

Daichi and Sugawara shared eye contact, the two third-years already getting a bad feeling as the conversation escalated without anyone being able to stop the excited boy who stared at Chiaki with starry eyes. The captain sent a glare to Tsukishima, who was the instigator of this conversation, the blond seeming to be pleased being the shit-starter.

"Aki-senpai is Japan's number one female spiker?! I want to see it! I want to see it! C-Can I have the honor of seeing your spike and serve?!" Hinata spoke fast, his whole body shaking out of excitement. If he was a dog, his tail would be wiggling so fast, his head would also have been vibrating.

Kageyama seemed to snap out of his stupor, angrily stomping his way to Hinata and yanking the back of his shirt, making the orange-haired boy stumble in surprise.

"Huh?! Wha-What are you doing, Kageyama?! Gyaaa! You're stretching my shirt!"

"Bōke! Shut up! You're loud, and you're troubling Aki-senpai!" The setter barked, his eyes darting between the smaller boy and the female, a hint of panic in them as he realized how silent Chiaki was.

Hinata being the clueless little bean he was, only pouted, turning to Kageyama with a scowl, "stop being so stingy, Kageyama! Are you jealous that I'm talking to Aki-senpai? I know she was your senpai in middle school, but now she's also my senpai! I should be allowed to see her amazing serves and spike as well! Booo!"

A irk mark popped on Kageyama's forehead as he moved to hit the shorter boy, "t-that's not what I'm trying to say, bōke! Ugh! Why are you such an idiot?!"

The two boys jabbed and dodged each other, starting to scuffle much to everyone's disbelief. Eventually, they moved away, breathing heavily. But it seemed like Hinata hadn't given up, turning his head to Chiaki. Kageyama also noticed this, his eyes narrowing sharply as he moved to stop Hinata again. However, the tall setter froze, his eyes widening.

"Aki-senpai! Please, I'm beg-...." Hinata's words trailed off as he too took in Chiaki, who stood in front of them.

Kageyama swallowed thickly, realizing Chiaki was mad. Knowing her since he first entered middle school, the setter knew the older girl didn't get angry easily. And on the rare occasion she did, Chiaki wouldn't show it, hiding it with a chilling smile that could freeze anybody. He had seen that a couple of times and each time made him think he didn't want to be at the receiving end of her anger.

But Kageyama could tell that the anger Chiaki held today was different from the times he saw in the past. Today, anyone who sees her right now would be able to tell Chiaki was angry. The others who had stood behind Chiaki weren't able to notice, but the female had turned slightly red, her eyebrows furrowed. Her hands were curled in a fist beside her thighs. And her eyes were burning with a fury that made both Hinata and Kageyama suck in a breath.

However, Kageyama was pretty sure that her anger wasn't aimed at either of them. But that didn't mean he wasn't terrified to see the usually level-headed senpai of his look like that.

Chiaki slowly breathed in before letting the air out, her shoulders dropping as well.

"Uh- I-" Hinata stuttered, seeming to not know what to say. He nervously looked at his other senpais who stood behind Chiaki, but they too looked like they didn't know what to do, keeping their lips sealed tight at the tense atmosphere.

Chiaki curled and uncurled her fingers, realizing they felt numb. Eventually, she moved her focus on the shorter boy in front of her. "Hinata-kun."

Hearing his name, Hinata flinched, cowering as he realized how cold Chiaki sounded. The said female notices this, but she didn't care enough to change her tone.

"Sorry, but I can't do either of what you ask me. I don't play volleyball anymore. And I'm not the volleyball club's manager, so you won't be seeing me around here anymore," Chiaki explained, calming down enough to be able to smile at the boy.

Seeing this, Hinata seemed to relax a bit, seemingly relieved to see the female smile at him. On the other hand, Kageyama doesn't look to be convinced by her expression, sending her a doubting look and refusing to come closer to her.

"Huh? Really? Then, why are you here today on a Saturday morning, Aki-senpai?" The ginger questioned as he tilted his head to the side, looking a bit confused. Chiaki would have found the action cute if her mind wasn't where it was at the moment.

Seeing the chance, Sugawara quickly stepped in, smiling brightly, although it twitched a bit because of how he was forcing himself. "Daichi and I invited Aki-chan to come to this match, hoping it'll be convincing enough to make her our new manager!"

"Eh? Really?" Tanaka and Hinata chorused, their eyes shining at the new information revealed to them.

At that moment, Sugawara mentally realized he may have made a mistake, screaming in his head. Koushi, you're an idiot! A big, big idiot, who probably made this whole thing even worse! And to confirm, when the silver-haired male looked at Daichi, his friend had a faraway look in his eyes, seeming to want to facepalm himself. Just as Sugawara had those thoughts, Daichi smacked his head to forehead, shaking his head. Oh- we're fucked...

"No," a chilling voice made Sugawara freeze, slowly turning his head to Chiaki, his movement looking like the tin man from the Wizard of Oz before he was oiled.

Hinata was either clueless, or he ignored the tension, looking at Chiaki with an innocent question. "Eh? Why not? You may not play volleyball anymore, but you have the knowledge, right? And you're friends with Kageyama, Captain, and Suga-senpai. Being a manager would be fun with us!"

"I hate volleyball."

Hinata and everyone in the gym froze, none of them expecting an answer like that to come from her.

"Eh? Why?"

Hinata, you idiooooooot!!! Everyone thinks, wanting to grab the short first-year and strangle him with the insensitive and immediate question to Chiaki's statement. Sugawara felt faint, and Tanaka was flustered, his hand getting waved around, not knowing how to stop the younger boy from causing more damage. Daichi pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling an intense headache looming over his head. The instigator of this whole thing stayed silent with Yamaguchi, slowly realizing he might have stirred more trouble then what he initially wanted. Yamaguchi was pale beside him, keeping his mouth zipped tight as he watched what was bubbling with anxiety.  

Chiaki couldn't move her gaze from Hinata, her heart twinging at the earnest look he sent her. Seeing that, the anger she was trying to put a lid onto seemed to overfill, the bitterness she felt leaking into her tone. It was like a dam that held her emotions together broke, all the words, all the frustration she held flooded out in a huge black wave.

"I hate it because I can't play anymore. I hate that I got this damn injury and how much it took away from me. I hate how all my future plans were about volleyball, and now I have nothing. I hate having to watch you all play it with that bright smile on your face, having so much fun. I hate how my wish to go to my dream school and go to nationals and see the top in high school isn't possible for me anymore. I hate how as much as I want to stay away, volleyball is around me! I hate everything about volleyball!" Chiaki didn't realize she was shouting by the end, her voice raising the loudest it has ever had in her life.

The boys and Shimizu stared at her in shock at her outburst, Sugawara and Daichi looking away as they saw the pain in their friend's eyes.

Chiaki was heaving, her shoulders rising and falling as she felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment and anger, the back of her eyes stinging as her emotions went haywire for the first time. It was the very first time she had let her anger out about her injuries. And in front of people that could almost be considered strangers, excluding a few of them.

It takes another second for Chiaki to realize what she had just done. Her hands shakes, horrified at her own outburst and feeling humiliated at the same time. It's a miracle that she hadn't run out of the gym. Which she would have done if her damn legs would move.

"It doesn't look like you hate it, senpai," Chiaki froze at the clear voice, slowly turning her head to look at who spoke. The boy with orange hair stared at her with his brown eyes.

Everyone else stared at Hinata in bewilderment, "Wha-"

"I don't think you hate volleyball, Aki-senpai. Because when you said you hate it, you looked like you wanted to cry. I think you love it so much, it makes you really sad knowing you can't play it."

Chiaki is at a loss for words, her eyes wide as Hinata faced her, his brown eyes seeming to stare straight into her. The said boy crossed his arms as he closed his eyes, tilting his head to the side as he thought deeply.

"I'm an idiot a lot of times, so I don't understand a lot of things. But I don't think someone who once loved volleyball could end up really hating it. At least, I don't think I can," Hinata spoke as he scratched the back of his head, smilingly sheepishly. He, however, grew a bit serious as he looked at the frozen female in front of him. "I don't know what happened to you, Aki-senpai. But from what you said, I think you got an injury that prevents you from playing volleyball. That must really suck. Actually, it's uh, more than sucky, I guess. I'm pretty bad at volleyball, but I can't imagine not being able to play again because of an injury."

The others in the gym also seemed to not know what to say as Hinata spoke, a mixture of astonishment and confusion as they tried to understand what he's trying to say.

"I'm sorry that you have to give a lot of your dreams up. B-But, you don't have to give up the one where you go to nationals! Uh, what I'm trying to say is that, if you're a manager, that means you're part of our team, right? You may not physically be able to stand on the courts and play with us, but you can still go!" Hinata seemed to grow confused at his own words, his eyes spinning as he tried to sort his thoughts.

Kageyama seemed to be growing annoyed as he smacked the boy's back. "What are you saying, Hinata Bōke?! You're not making any sense!"

"Gah!" Hinata ran his hands through his hair, pulling on his roots in frustration before a look of determination entered his eyes as he turned to Chiaki. "What I'm trying to say is! Senpai! We'll take you to nationals, just as you dreamed. Maybe its not exactly how you imagined yourself, but still, if we can win, we'll go to nationals! You'll be able to see the very top with us! So be our manager!"

A silence fell over all of them, Chiaki staring at Hinata in awe, her grey eyes as wide as saucers.

When no one said anything, the confidence that Hinata was emitting slowly began to dwindle, the boy curling into himself in embarrassment. With flushed cheeks, he spoke, flustered out of his mind. "I-I mean! I m-mean it's not something I can do alone but.... What I'm trying to say is- uh-"

A hand slammed into the orange-haired male's back, making him gasp in pain, stumbling forward in surprise. When he looked up, Tanaka, who was responsible for the hit, grinned widely, wrapping an arm around the shorter boy's neck.

"Hell yah, Hinata! I like your spirit and the way you think! Of course, we'll go to nationals, as your senpai, I'll lend you my help! Right Suga-san? Daichi-san? You'll help too, right?!" The second-year with shaved head looked back, turning his gaze to his two senpais who watched everything in a stupor, taken aback at what Hinata said.

Daichi and Sugawara share brief eye contact before nodding with a smile. This makes Hinata smile brightly, seeming to be delighted.

His eyes turned back to Chiaki, who was still frozen in place, trying to process what was happening. She's amazed by the way Hinata thought. His simplicity was something Chiaki would never be able to do herself, and it took a bit to completely understand what he was saying.

Hinata, however, obviously doesn't seem to notice, opening his mouth. "For me, because I love volleyball so much, as much as it would hurt to not be able to play anymore, I feel that it would hurt even more staying away from it. Just watching it makes me feel excited! Isn't that the same for you, Aki-senpai? You looked super stoked watching Kageyama set earlier!"

Hearing this, Kageyama looked at the female in surprise, his mouth parting a bit. But he can't see her whole face, her eyes getting covered and shadowed by her silver bangs.

"Really....? Are you serious about nationals too...?" A meek voice finally comes from Chiaki, the female is barely loud enough to be heard from everyone in the gym. But, her voice and question were heard by Hinata, the said boy grinning widely as he gave the girl a thumbs up.

"Really! I promise we'll work really hard!"

Chiaki can't help it, a light laugh leaving her lips. Suddenly, everything seemed stupid. She felt ridiculous and silly over the bitterness she had been feeling. She indeed felt jealousy and resentment when she watched the game earlier. She had wished it was her that was leaping into the air, her hands that hit the ball and spiked it down to the ground. But with the bitterness, like Hinata said, she felt the excitement watching them play. An enthusiasm that had been missing in her life since the accident over a year ago. And there's no denying how much she had liked that feeling, the way the adrenaline pumped in her veins, and the way her pupils dilated wide.

Hinata's words were right. The past year had been hell staying away from volleyball. It hurt that she couldn't play it anymore. But hearing Hinata's words, she realized staying away from it hurt even more just like he said. Her love for volleyball was just too strong. And during the last year, she only truly did felt happy when she was watching a game.

Her gaze shifts to Kageyama as the boy takes a step closer to her, a look of determination is his dark eyes. A conflicted look was on his face, his lips pointed in a small pout, however he finally looks at the female with unwavering eyes. "Hinata may be an idiot, and he may suck at volleyball, but he's right, Aki-senpai."

Hinata, who heard this looked at Tanaka with a pout, "is he praising me or dissing me?!"

Kageyama pays no mind to Hinata's complaint as he continues to speak. "You may not be able to play volleyball like in middle school, and you may not be able to go to nationals with just your own strength. But, if you become our manager, you become one of us. You taught me many things about volleyball, you were the one senpai I looked up to the most when it came to the sport. I learned so much with your input and advices. And I hope you can continue to give me advice like in middle school to help me improve. I promise you, I'll do my absolute best to show you the tallest stage of nationals! So please be our manager!"

Chiaki doesn't expect the setter to give her a deep bow, his back bending at a ninety-degree angle. The other members, excluding Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, who were watching, shared an eye contact before joining in a line, bowing deeply in front of Chiaki.

The said female watched them in awe. The boys continued to bow, and Chiaki released an audible sigh that made them all peek at her. She had made her decision.

"No, I won't be your manager."

Everyone looks at the silver-haired female in shock, seeming to not think she'll reject them so quickly. Especially Kageyama, the dark-haired setter looking visibly dejected. He looks down with his shoulder slumped, biting his bottom lip with his teeth.

"I won't be your manager because I'm selfish and while I know only one manager is allowed to be on the court for each team, I still want to be able to stand there. But I'm not taking that privilege away from Shimizu-San," Chiaki explained, eyeing the said female who stood couple feet's away. "And there are multiple things that a manager is supposed to do that I can't do. Many of my movements are still limited because of my injury, I can't carry heavy stuff like water bottles, and I can't exactly run around. But I can also do a lot of things a normal manager can't. I can be your medic and help with what I can with the knowledge I have with sports medicine."

At Chiaki's unexpected words, everyone looked at her in surprise. In response, Chiaki smiled gently, her gaze shifting over them all.

"R-Really?" Sugawara questioned, seeming to be touched at what Chiaki said.

The female nodded at her fellow silver head, "yeah, but I warn you. I'm still planning on graduating after this year. While I'll help with whatever Shimizu-san needs, you'll still have to look for a manager for next year," Chiaki warns, which the other eagerly nods at, "and-"

Everyone intently listened, ready to hear her conditions. A mischievous look appears in her grey orbs, "there'll be a painful punishment if you guys can't keep your promise about nationals."

Suddenly, all of them felt like a shiver ran down their back, paling a bit as the female sent them a rare wicked grin that made her usual sweetness melt away. Shimizu covered her mouth with her jacket's sleeve, hiding the snicker that threatened to slip. Chiaki laughed wholeheartedly, sounding like light bells making them all look at her in awe. Daichi's lips were parted, his eyes wide, realizing that was a genuine laugh, something he has never heard come from his friend in the past.

Chiaki released a giggle before turning to Daichi, the male straightening his back under her gaze, snapping out of his stupor. "Is it okay if I turned the registration form tomorrow? I don't have one on me," she questioned, her droopy grey eyes seeming to shine brightly.

Before Daichi could answer, Shimizu stepped forward, the glassed female smiling as she pulled a portfolio out, slipping a crisp paper out and handing it to her. Chiaki blinked at the registration paper in her hand in surprise, and Shimizu's response made her chuckle.

"We should seal it before you change your mind."

With amusement and neat handwriting, Chiaki signs the paper, eyeing her signature with her heart feeling content. Just as she's about to give it to Daichi, Kageyama and Hinata come to either side of her. She blinks, eyeing their wrinkly registration form and their messy handwriting with mirth.

Daichi doesn't seem to mind, staring at the three pieces of paper in his hand quietly before turning to his manager. "Shimizu, those have already come in, right?"

In response, the glassed beauty nods, going to grab a cardboard box.

Chiaki feels somewhat touched, the back of her eyes stinging for a brief moment as the female hands her a black jacket. The silver-haired female can't help but hug the still wrapped cloth to her chest.

The third-year watched her action with a smile while the first-years were already ripping open the plastic and trying the jacket on in glee.

"Uooooohhh! Look how cool this is!!" Hinata cried, twirling around happily.

Sugawara approaches Chiaki, the male smiling at her as he motions to the jacket in her hand. "Come on, miss medic. You're the only one who hasn't tried it on yet," the male teases.

With slight hesitance, Chiaki slips her arms into the jacket, the fabric smooth and comfortable against her skin.

"Ohh! You look lovely, Aki-san!!!!" Tanaka yelled out, looking touched, "with you and Kiyoko-san together, it would be the ultimate duo that will be undefeated!!" The male roared in excitement, his fist clenched in front of him.

This makes Chiaki laugh, the female gripping onto her sleeves, bringing it to her face and inhaling the familiar scent of new clothes washing over her.

Just as the older members admired the new members adorning their club jacket, the door of the gym slammed open, revealing a disheveled man with glasses. Chiaki blinked, recognizing him as Takeda-sensei, her Japanese Literature teacher for this year.

"Guys! I've secured a practice match! The opponent is one of the prefecture's best four! Aobajousai High School!" Takeda breathed heavily, seeming to try to even it out quickly. However, as he does, his gaze lands on Kageyama and Hinata, a bright smile spreading across his face.

"Oh! So you two must be the problematic Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun, huh?"

With the way the man acknowledged them, both boys blinked, not being able to greet him with anything but a weak, "...Osu...." looking a bit dejected being recognized as troublemakers.

The glassed teacher then turned his gaze to Chiaki, a look of surprise appearing in his round gaze. "Oh, Ibato-san! I didn't expect to see you here as well."

Chiaki bows in greeting, Daichi immediately coming to her aid as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Ah, Takeda-sensei, Aki-chan has agreed to join our club. While not exactly a manager, she's able to help with the medical aspect of the club, and we decided she could help as our medic!"

This makes Takeda blink before nodding with a broad smile on his face, "oh, I see! If I recall correctly, your mother does work with sports medicine, does she not? Your help would be greatly appreciated, Ibato-san!"

Chiaki nodded, and Takeda moved his gaze back to Hinata and Kageyama, who was listening to the conversation with a bit of confusion, obviously wondering who this man was.

"Starting this year, I'm the volleyball club's advisor, Takeda Ittetsu! I don't have any volleyball experience, so I can't offer any guidance on the technical aspects, but aside from that, I look forward to us giving our all and doing our best!" Takeda explained, quickly getting a response from Kageyama and Hinata, who beamed. The teacher's attention went to the other members, the man releasing a laugh as he scratched at the back of his head, "wheew! Since I went to various places asking directly for a practice match, I didn't think I'd end up making this meeting at all!"

This makes Sugawara look a bit concerned, nodding, "Seijou is a powerful school, so how did you pull this off, Sensei?"

Daichi seemed to suddenly realize something, sending the adult a look of worry, "don't tell me you kowtowed again...?!"

This makes Takeda laugh as he waved his hand in front of him, "I didn't, not at all! Kowtowing is my strong point, and I'm good at it, but I didn't do it this time!"

Chiaki blinks, processing her sensei's words with a sweatdrop. So, he has kowtowed before....

"It's just, there's a condition for the match..."

This catches everyone's attention, looking at Takeda to continue. "They requested that Kageyama-kun will act as the setter the entire game."

Chiaki's eyes narrowed, a thoughtful look appearing in her face. Aobajousei was a school she knew well. How could she not when she had multiple acquaintances who went there? And seeing who went there, this request wasn't something too surprising. However, that didn't stop her from looking at Sugawara, Daichi doing the same thing.

Tanaka was obviously ticked off by what the condition was, a dark look appearing on his face, "so they're saying that they've got no interest in Karasuno itself, huh? Right now, they only want to go against Kageyama, is that it? What the hell? Are they mocking us? How about I mock them up?"

Takeda flinches at the aggression Tanaka shows, taking a timid step back, "n-no... erm, they probably don't mean it in a nasty way like that...."

Chiaki watches as Sugawara closes his eyes for a brief moment, seeming to decide what he is going to do. He steps forward, placing a hand on Tanaka's shoulder, stopping the male, "that's fine. This isn't a chance you get every day."

This seemed to be a surprise to Tanaka, the male looking at his senpai with a frown. "Suga-san! Are you really okay with that?!"

The said male swallows as he speaks, "I want to see just how good Hinata and Kageyama's attack will be against one of the top four."  

Chiaki closes her eyes, thinking about the position Sugawara was in. With a sigh, she looked at the ceiling, the artificial orange light making her squint. This sucks...

"Aki-senpai, are you, uh.... Are you going to be alright going to Seijoh?" Kageyama questioned as he walked beside the female. Chiaki blinked, tilting her head to the side a bit.

"Hm, yeah? Why are you asking that, Tobi-kun?" Chiaki questioned in confusion, swinging her arms a bit, smiling as her new black jacket fluttered a bit at the movement.

Kageyama scratched his chin before stuffing his hand in his pocket. "Uh, last time we talked, you said you also cut off Iwaizumi-san. Doesn't he go to that school?"

Chiaki blinked, swallowing hard as she realized what Kageyama was saying. His face popped in her head, and just doing that made the silver-haired female pale. Why did I forget such important information...?!

Feeling suddenly gloomy, Chiaki spoke up, "d-do you think I can skip out on this match?" She meekly questioned, her hand shooting out to grab Kageyama's. The male almost sweat dropped feeling how she shook so much, the vibration going up his arm.

In response, Kageyama shakes his head, making Chiaki release a devastating sigh. "I might end up getting murdered after the match then..."

"Did I just hear you trying to already skip?" Chiaki jumps as a large hand lands on her head. Daichi grins down at her in amusement as she denies, shaking her head with a pout.

Daichi laughs as Kageyama and Chiaki share a guilty look, "come on, I'm treating you all to some meat buns. You guys must be hungry."

This brightens Kageyama, the first year following his senpai eagerly. Chiaki, on the other hand, drags her feet, entering the Sakanoshita Shop. She smiles at the man behind the counter, the said man raising his hand in greeting.

"Aki-chan, can you stay in here for a bit. Suga, Kageyama, and I want to have a meeting, and we want your input as well. Let me just go out and give the others their meat buns, and I'll return." Daichi explained as he handed the female a steaming meat bun before making his way outside.

Hot potato-ing the hot bun, Chiaki finds a seat at one of the tables in the shop, Sugawara quickly joining her, followed by Daichi and Kageyama. The four of them huddle with their heads together, quietly muttering to each other.

"I've been thinking about Hinata's position in the upcoming practice match. What are your thoughts?" Daichi questioned, looking between Kageyama and Chiaki, who sat next to each other.

The two of them shared eye contact before nodding, both of them knew they had a similar idea going on.

"I think..."

                    🏐 🏐EXTRA 🏐 🏐 (none related to this chapter)

🏐 🏐9 YEARS AGO🏐 🏐

"Onii-chan!!"

Minato blinks, volleyball he plans on setting to his spiker landing on his face, bouncing off of it before rolling to the ground. Tears gathered at the corner of his eyes as he held his nose.

None of his teammates voiced their concern for him, their attention on the small girl that stepped into the gym, her brown hair being a fluffy mess that crowned her face.

"Ah, our cute team mascot is finally here!" One of the boys cooed, his cheeks flushing as the small girl trotted into the stadium, diving to her brother's legs, wrapping her arms tightly around his thighs as she hugged him.

Minato sighed as he bent down, picking up his eight-year-old sister into his arm. He pressed a quick kiss into her sweaty temple, his lips curling as Chiaki released a happy giggle, wrapping her thin arms around his neck.

"Chi-chan, you know better to just interrupt my practice," Minato gently scolds, the tiny girl grabbing onto his white shirt sadly, "what would have happened if one of my teammates were spiking? You could have gotten hit by one of the balls."

Chiaki looked down in shame, "sorry, Onii-chan..."

Minato sighs, squeezing his little sister once more. "As long as you don't do it again."

The other boys in the gym watch the scene with warm eyes, some of them envious of the relationship between them.

"Minato."

At the gruff voice, Minato stiffened, immediately turning and bowing to his coach. "Sorry, coach!"

This makes Ukai release a low chuckle, "it's fine, I've gotten used to it. Although, I can't deny that practice was abruptly stopped. Give her to me and go back on setting before those other brats get impatient," the man with white hair comments, spreading his arms.

Chiaki beamed as she opened her arms as she's passed from her brother to his coach, Ukai cradling the small girl in his arms before placing her on his lap where they watched practice.

"Did you have practice today, too, little one?" Ukai questioned as patted her head as she watched the high school boys intently.

Chiaki beams at the question, nodding with a smile, "I did! I stopped Wakkun's spike today. He wasn't that happy, but it's not scary like my daddy's or Onii-chans', so I was fine," the little girl proudly explained.

Ukai chuckled as he ruffled her hair once more, the softness under his fingers making his eyes soften. "You'll end up being strong too then, like your father and brothers."

"Mmhm," Chiaki nodded, her eyes back on the court. However, she spoke up with a tilt of her head, "is it break time? No one is tossing the ball."

This makes Ukai's head snap back to his team, a tick mark appearing on his face as he glowered as he sees the boys all staring at little Chiaki in hopes of getting a stress relief they craved during practice. Using his hand, the adult covered Chiaki's little ears.

"YOU BRATS!! GO BACK TO PRACTICING, OR I MAKE YOU DO THIRTY SUICIDES!!!"

Chiaki released a childish giggle of glee.

                                       🏐 🏐 A/N🏐 🏐

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I wondering if you all noticed a little Easter egg in the EXTRA, hehe. I'm not gonna reveal anything but I hope it caught some of your attention and raised an eyebrow.

I'm positive some of you will have questions about it but ahhhh! So exciting. I have like six chapters in stock rn for this book, so I can promise you'll we'll be having updates until December for sure. I'm actually working in chapter 11 and I'm almost done as well. I'm having so much fun writing this book!!

Don't forget to vote and comment, I love hearing all of your thoughts!

Next chapter | EX is coming out on October 2, 2020!

And happy early birthday to Chiaki, Tsukishima, and me! September babies!!! I made Chiaki's birthday same as mine as ours is a day before Tsukki's

-Ember

Posted: 9/18/2020

[thejadedjewel]

Game Grumps Live - Asbury Park, NJ - 8/24/19

Game Grumps Live:

Left to Jersey 9:30-ish

Got to Jersey by 2PM.

Had lunch at Wendys – terrible bathroom, great food.  Checked in at Inn afterwards, but did a check of the Stone Pony Summer Stage to see how it looked.  Chilled at the room until a little before 5PM.

Was dropped off and got in line.  At the time, it had almost completely circled around the whole area (building and outdoor stage).  Doors opened a little before 6 because the line soon went all the way around TWICE. Talked with the guys and ladies in line and made friends with them.  There were folks as Danny Sexbang, Arina, and Daniella.  Got in around 615-ish.  Got water and waited over an hour in line for the merch table.

A ‘burgie’ chant started up at one point.  Lots of awesome music played – Rush, Queen, etc.

There was a chopper circling around and many of us joked that Dan and Arin would make an entrance from it.  Cheers always happened when someone came on-stage, one point tossing water into the audience.

Got shirt and poster and left my drawings at the table.  Then hit the bathroom.  By this time it was 740-ish and the screen suddenly pulled up the Wii-U main menu.  A voice came on and started to hype the crowd that the show will be starting a few minutes later.  By this time, the sun was setting and nearly gone.

Show started around 8 with Vernon coming on-stage to hype the crowd.  He notes that this was the biggest Game Grumps Live ever – 4 thousand fans.  To prep everyone, a fan – Chris – is brought up from the audience to play Super Mario Bros world 1-1 blindfolded.  Chaos ensues, but Chris ended up beating it after two game overs and on the last life of attempt 3.

Afterwards, Vernon joked that he was out there stalling for time due to Arin pooping and joked about making an attempt of standup comedy.  Before he leaves, he gives some homework to everyone: make a new friend at the show – it’s easy.  He also tells everyone to be kind and tells everyone to get loud and do the theme song. V: Hey, I’m grump. Us: I’M NOT SO GRUMP!  AND WE’RE THE GAME GRUMPS!

Coming out to music (Pour Some Sugar On Me) Arin and Dan ate up the applause. Dan was extra-hyped due to the show not only being the first outdoor show, but also in his birth state of New Jersey.  “Welcome Home” chants ensue.  There’s also a joke from Dan about how Arin would make cracks at live shows about the place they’re doing it, but Arin refused to do one due to fears of being beat up by Jersey folks.

Game time – Mario Party 10!  Dan was Yoshi and Arin was Peach.  The crowd was split into two sides – side one was Player 3, Waluigi and side two, my side, was Player 4, Toad.  We were given chants to shout out (“Wa-Lu-Igi!”/”Go Toad!  Go Toad!”)

Danny: (after giving each team their chants) I’m drunk with power!

To compensate for Player 3 and 4’s rolls, Arin would do that.  When Dan told the crowd to boo Arin when he rolled wrong, the crowd started to boo anyway.

Arin: Don’t boo yet!

Dan: Your Jersey hate is like vitamins(?) to me!

For Mini-games, someone to represent for each player team would come up onstage to play alongside Dan and Arin.  Mini-game 1 had Jonathon for team Waluigi and Devon for Team Toad.  When asked for something to get their respected teams hyped up, they said “Waaaaa” and “We’re the video game boys” (Us: We’re the ones who win!)  The game was a memory-esq game, which was gonna be bad for Dan (because of the weed he smoked in the 90’s killing his memory) and Arin (because he’s “an idiot”, in his words).  The game was intense with Jonathon winning.  This was when Dan noticed that, for some odd reason, Waluigi had ‘boob physics’.

Mini-game two came soon with Marcus (wearing a Dream Daddy T-shirt) and Kirsten (wearing the sexy Sonic costume) for Team Waluigi and Team toad respectively. The question asked, by Arin, was which sandwich is the favorite – Dan jokingly said that was the stupidest question ever asked… then asked “same question” for the other player (something similar happened later) and it was Tuna Melt VS BLT.  We were also asked to do a giant Golf Clap during the mini-game shenanigans.

The post-Golf clap comment from Dan: You have given Daddy the ASRM tingles.

Daddy Chants ensued.  Dan would do another “Daddy” comment shortly afterwards – “So many stars for Daddy”.

When it was time for the third Mini-game of the night, Dan and Arin noticed some cool stuff in the crowd – A “Bienvenue Power Bottoms” sign and a “Burgie” paper craft being held up.  Player 3 and Player 4 were Divan and Chris, who was dressed like Danny Sexbang, and their question was to say something to badmouth the opposing team.  Divan’s was “Boo, Toad, you suck!” while Chris was “This is why you weren’t in Smash!”  Burn comments ensue.  Mini-game turned out to be a three on one battle… everyone vs Arin.

Dan: It’s New Jersey VS Arin!

Arin eventually won that game and during and after the game, there was a “Fuck You, Arin” chant from everyone.  Dan “OK! OK!  Hang on!  Hang on! Hang on!  Don’t get me wrong… I love it…,” but he asked if they should do “Heck you, Arin” but decided nope and let the crowd continue.  He then joked about how the folks on the boardwalk were probably wondering what the hell’s going on at the show.

Mini-game four was with Erid and a tall guy named Roger.  Dan also noted that his dad, Avi, was in the audience.  I began to chant “Avi” and pretty soon a large chant for “AVI” started.  Team Toad/Roger won the mini game.

Mini-game five was Bowser related with a lot of stars up for grabs.  Both players were ladies – a female Danny who, like Dan, was Jewish, from Jersey, favorite color was light blue, and loved dinosaurs, and Renee, who had an LED helmet and had apparently been there since 6AM.  There were 6AM chants for her.  Dan noted that he smelt weed in the audience, which I thought was a stupid thing to go.  Dan then picked the wrong mini-game chosen for that round.  His reasoning for the screw up? “I HAVE GIANT THUMBS!”  Team Toad won that round again.

Final mini-game was up and it was Sophie and Bethany as players 3 and 4.  They were asked to say something to hype their teams.  Sophie said “Mycaruba” (a old-school Game Grumps joke) while Bethany’s was “We got this, dude!”  Team 3 won and the finally tally was Waluigi/Team 3 victory.

For the last bit of the show was a Q and A with the audience.  Ground rules were laid out: No selfies, no hugs, not songs, and you can’t touch Dan’s hair… so Dan touched his hair for us.

Q: Favorite Cartoon Network cartoon? A: from Dan, it was Aqua team Hunger Force and, since it was aired on CN, Starlight Brigade music video while for Arin, it was “Mighty Magisword”, which he worked on.

Q: Favorite game they got into via Grumps? A: Dan went with House Party while Arin couldn’t think of one.  They hyped the new version that was going to include them as characters coming soon.

Q: for Arin, favorite voice to do around the office? A: the Grubba voice and the “Ball-sniffing adventure” one.

Q: A request for some more Snipperclips, which they would love to do.

Q: For Arin, it was about the frequency of his pooping and asking the “Yum to Dump” ratio.

A: Arin talked about a incident from eating at Whataburger.  He pulled off at an exit and ate a burger from Whataburger. Got back on the interstate… and pulled over at the next exit to do a 2 at that exit’s Whataburger.

I think I’m gonna avoid Whataburger…. Q: Can Claud come back? (I have no idea who Claud was, but they want him to come back.  I think they meant “Claudio Sanchez”, who had appeared on Guest Grumps.)

Q: For Arin, favorite 3D Zelda game? A: first game he said was “A Link Between Worlds”.  When asked for a second, he picked “Wind Waker”.  Good choice.

Q: A request for more Dog Island and Princef Taaanx.

The next question was right by me and I managed to get two pictures of Vernon, who was out in the crowd getting the questions from the crowd.  I thanked Vernon for the second one, which he smiled for. Before the question was asked, there were some “Furry” jokes and Dan went into a long rant about being a Furry in reference to the running gag about him being one.  The question was about Starbomb and hopes for new stuff in relation to it.  Dan and Arin threw around some possibilities like a boxed set for the CD’s/vinyls.

Q: What’s gonna be the new format for live shows.  They have no idea.

Q: An offer to do later framing for CDs/Vinyls/etc.

Q: for Danny, since he and the asker are from Jersey, is it Pork Rolls or Taylor Ham? Dan picked Taylor ham, prompting booos.

Q: the original asker game his question op to his friend, who asked since they looked alike and had similar likes, does Dan know who the doctor was that cloned the two of them?

Dan thinks it was Def Leppard’s lead singer Joe Elliot (?)

The last question: "the band bowling for soup...are they bowling to receive soup or are they bowling on behalf of soup?"  Dan thinks they’re bowling on behalf of soup while Arin thinks it’s the former.

To end the show off, Dan notes this show meant a lot for him since it’s in Jersey and the best night.  “Danny”/”Jersey” chants.  Dan and Arin thanked everyone and left with a message: They don’t care what your race/religion/gender/political stance/etc. is, they love us.

Show ended a little around 950 and I got my ride back to the Inn to chill.

Pictures to come later

[trulymadlysydney]

The Boy Next Door- IV

Of all the things she could’ve ordered, it had to be a sex toy.  And of all the people who could’ve been her neighbor, it just had to be coffee shop Harry.

*takes a big, long, deep breath*  I... am so sorry for how long it took to upload this.  I am also very sorry for this entire chapter in general.  Truly.  I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. 

(Part One HERE) (Part Two HERE) (Part Three HERE)

Playlist HERE

***PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION***

-Not even a sappy post it note left on the pillow saying goodbye?  Worst sleepover ever

Nova yawns and smiles sleepily to herself as her fingers type out and send the text message to Harry.   She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit disappointed to not wake up in his arms, but still.  Waking up in his bed was the next best thing.

His room is so cozy, and the curtains he has on his windows are much better than the ones she has on hers.  They’re thick, and they keep the room fairly dark, save for the light oozing out from the sides.  If it hadn’t have been for her alarm on her phone, Nova reckons she could’ve slept all day.  His covers are thick and his sheets are smooth and he has the type of pillows that are squishy in all the right places.

Speaking of pillows, she takes the one that Harry had been sleeping on and hugs it close to her.  She closes her eyes and inhales, then lets it all out in a satisfied hum.  It smells deliciously like him.  (Nova can’t help that she’s a sap when she’s sleepy. And she can’t help that she’s falling ridiculously hard for this boy.)

Her phone buzzes a few seconds later, and she grins when she reads Harry’s response.  

-Someone kept me up all night and I almost overslept.   I was almost late to my 8am.

-Texting in class?

-...yes?

-Shame on you

-Get up.  Get ready for your 9am, and stop judging my life. x

-I don’t know if I can, actually.  Your bed is ridiculously comfy

-It is, isn’t it?  You’re welcome in it any time you’d like.

-Thank goodness because I don’t think I’m ever going to leave

-That is more than fine by me, gorgeous.

Nova bites at her lip and lets out the girliest giggle when she reads his text.  Gorgeous.  He called her gorgeous.

-I actually should get up though :((

-Booo.  You can skip one day of class, it won’t hurt.    -Skip, and be there when I get back.

-Ha, I wish -You’re a terrible influence

-What can I say?

-I’m going to miss your bed when I get out of it

-I’m sure my bed will miss you, too.

-So, a date in your bed again tonight? -Or mine.  I’m sure my bed would love to meet you

-Meeting the bed, huh?  This is getting serious. -I can’t tonight, unfortunately.  Staying over at Jeff’s place.

-Aww man :(  That’ll be fun though! 

-Will it?  He invited me over because he’s been having work issues.  Again.

-Poor guy :(

-It’ll be fine.  Just needs a guy’s night I think. I would much rather be meeting your bed though.

-Well we could still hang out today! What are you doing after your classes?

-Can’t get enough of me, can you?

Nova rolls her eyes and her cheeks are burning.  She rolls out of Harry’s bed and walks back out into his living room, but she hardly even looks up from her phone.

-Fortunately for you, I can’t -But keep being a cocky little shit and we’ll see what happens.

-Cocky? Me?  Never. -But I actually have band practice today.  

-You’re in a band?!

-Thought I told you that!

-You mentioned you sing, you didn’t mention you had a whole entire band!

-Oh. Well surprise, then! I’m in a band.  -And we’re practising at the apartment this evening, which sucks because otherwise you’d absolutely be over at my place.  No questions asked.

-And I could finally kick your ass at that game of Parcheesi you mentioned, am I right?

-Can’t believe you remember that.  But yeah, sure.  Keep telling yourself that you’d be the one doing the ass kicking.

-Cute how you think I wouldn’t...

-Cute how you’re probably still in my bed.

-GOOD TRY but I’m in your living room now

-Going through my things to see if you can dig up any dirt on me?

-You know me so well

Nova takes a moment to actually look up and take in what his apartment looks like, because she hadn’t really paid that much attention the night before.   The one critique she has is that it doesn’t smell anywhere near as good as her and Jessie’s place.  It doesn’t smell bad, necessarily, but it smells distinctly like “boy,” mixed with a few old candles.

Her eyes fall on a large case over by the window, and she’s immediately intrigued.  She walks over and realizes what exactly she’s looking at, and she adores it.  Each shelf in the case is crammed with records.  There must be at least a hundred in there.  Some old classic vinyls, some newer pop albums that she recognizes. All different genres, and all of them look to be in excellent condition.

She immediately shoots Harry another text.

-Impressive record collection!

-So you are going through my things?  Sneaky sneaky.

-I’m not going through anything, you pest, I just saw the collection.  And I’m serious, it’s impressive

-Thank you!  Been working on it for basically my whole life.

-I can tell! What’s your favorite?

-God, what a question.  That’s like asking me to pick a favorite child. -Ever heard of The Stone Roses?

-Can’t say I have, no! 

-Check them out.  Should be on the second shelf down.  

Nova follows his instructions and sees the exact album he’s referring to.  She pulls the oversized record sleeve from its place and examines it as Harry sends another text.

-They’re actually from my hometown.  Formed in Manchester in the 80s I believe.  They’re sick.  -You can take the record home with you if you want to.  Give them a listen.

-I don’t own a record player :(

-What?! -It’s like you live in the year 2018 or something.  Crazy.

Nova realizes she hasn’t stopped smiling during this entire conversation when her cheeks start to hurt a bit.  Her phone vibrates with another text.

-Look them up on youtube then. I think you’ll like them.

-I definitely will!

Nova returns the record to its home on the shelf before standing up and heading towards the door.  She knows she needs to go get ready for class, although she is tempted to crawl back into his bed and go back to sleep.  When she spies a some paper in his kitchen on her way out, she giggles to herself as a plan forms.  It doesn’t take long for her to find a pen, and with a smile on her face she scribbles “Here’s a sappy post-it note for you, since you didn’t leave one for me.  You’re welcome. Xoxo, Novocaine.”

She sticks the note to his pillow (and shamelessly gives the pillow one more sniff) before slipping out of his apartment and heading back to her own.

---

As it turns out, the effect of seeing Harry’s name on her phone never fails to make Nova’s stomach flip.  At around 3pm, he texts her again with a simple “is it ridiculous to say that I miss you?”

It is ridiculous, really.  Of course it is.  But she’s so happy, and she’s so happy to see that he’s feeling the same way.  

Her response is immediate and, not surprisingly, sarcastic.  Mentioning how it would be more ridiculous if he didn’t miss her, and then following up with a quick “All jokes aside, I suppose I miss you too,” and adding “but not as much as I miss your bed.  That was comfy as hell.”

It’s when he tells her that, if his band weren’t coming over in fifteen minutes he’d invite her right back over to his bed, that she gets an idea.

Is it a good idea?  Decidedly not.  But it’s an appealing one and one that she’s sure he’s going to enjoy just as much as she does.

She double checks the time, and then triple checks it as she heads into her bedroom.  She knows Jessie isn’t going to come home until around 6:30 so she’s safe in that aspect.  But still, just to be even more safe, she closes and locks her bedroom door behind her.  (Call it force of habit, but its truly just a security thing for her at this point.)

Nova reaches under the bed and pulls out the exact thing she’s looking for-- the little white wand that brought her and Harry together in the first place.  She beams as she flips the vibrations on and off for a quick second, just to make sure its fully charged and ready to go.  It is.

She can’t remove her pants fast enough, and soon she’s climbing onto her bed and relaxing back onto the pillow that’s pushed against the wall she’s almost positive that Harry is on the other side of.  She’s already shivering, partly from anticipation and partly from her newfound lack of clothes.  With a cheeky grin that she can’t even contain, she shoots him a text.

-Oh yeah?  With completely innocent intentions I have no doubt

She chews on her lip as she waits for his response, hoping that she hasn’t taken too much time setting up her plan.  She doesn’t want to go through with this if his band is starting to arrive at his place.  Having just Harry overhear her the first time was embarrassing enough, but his entire band?  She’d never be able to show her face ever again.

Luckily, he does reply quickly.

-Completely innocent.

-Just like you, right?

-I wouldn’t be so quick to point fingers, little miss, lest you forget how we first began talking.

Nova rolls her eyes at how proper that text reads, before reminding him that the first time they actually spoke was at a coffee shop.  But she digresses. That has nothing to do with the task at hand.  With a flip of her thumb, she hears the vibrations that send her stomach swirling before even touching her.  

-Who said I’m pointing fingers, hm? -If I wanted to do anything with my fingers, it wouldn’t be pointing.

She reads and rereads the sentence she just sent, hoping that it comes across the way she wants it to.  Just because she’s feeling sexy does not mean that Harry is, and for all she knows he could have interpreted that message in an absolutely different way than she’d intended.  She bites her bottom lip, scrambling to think of something to say to possibly change the situation, when his response lights up her screen.

-Interesting.  What would you do with them?

Her stomach floods with butterflies at his words, and she becomes aware of the buzzing in her other hand.   She quickly lowers the vibrator teasingly down between her legs.  The minute it touches her skin, she shudders and involuntarily exhales a soft whisper of “Oh my god.”

With the vibrator rubbing light circles at her clit, she uses her free hand to type out her response.

-I can think of a few things -But then again, those are things that could be much better done by the vibrator -Or, by your fingers preferably. 

The vibrator is still only on low, but the tingles it sends up through her spine have her unraveling torturously slow. 

No teasing, she reminds herself.  

At least... no teasing herself.

She flips up the speed of the vibrations and lets out an exaggerated moan that is, admittedly, much louder than necessary, but loud enough that she knows it’s going to get his attention. Her phone vibrates again.

-Jesus.  Somebody’s in a mood isn’t she?

-Not if you don’t want me to be

-No believe me.  I want you to be. -I actually haven’t stopped thinking about last night.  I mean that in the least perverted way possible, because I don’t want you to think that I’m only into you because of that. -But god, love.  I’ve never seen anything as sexy as you cumming from just my fingers.  -Is that too much to say?

Nova is too preoccupied to respond right away, but his words make her throb the moment she reads them on the screen.  She allows her mouth to fall open and her head to loll back against the wall.  She mutters a soft “fuck” before remembering her objective here and saying it louder.

Almost immediately the gray dots appear on the screen once again.

-...Nova, was that you?

She pulls the vibrator away from her clit momentarily, just to force herself to focus and respond to him.

-Was what me?

-That noise. -Are you doing what I think you’re doing?

Nova lets out another exaggerated moan that, in honesty, isn’t all that exaggerated because the combination of his words and the vibrations between her legs really is making her feel this good. 

-Jesus, Nova are you trying to kill me?

She goes full force now, not responding to his texts but still reading them when they pop up at the top of her screen. Fully immersed in the experience, her thoughts go in a billion different directions.  She lets out another loud cry when she thinks about the way his fingers had curled inside of her last night.  The way he’d spoken to her as he was making her cum.  The way he’d looked at her.

When her phone vibrates again, she realizes that she’s closing her eyes.  She opens them to read the text that’s appeared at the top of her screen, which is soon followed by another text.  And then another.

Oh yes, he knows exactly what she’s doing.

-God you really are a brat. -Fine then.  Let’s see how long it takes you when you’re on your own.   -Because you and I both know that if it were me doing that to you, you’d be cumming in seconds. -Last night was just a preview of what I can do to you, sweet girl. And if I were there right now, I wouldn’t stop at just one. I’d keep going and going until you’d beg me to stop. -And I wouldn’t limit myself to my fingers either.  I’ve been dying to know what you taste like. -Love hearing you like this, but if you think you aren’t in trouble for being a fucking tease then you’re wrong.  -You’re already close just from my words aren’t you? -Aren’t you, Nova?  Answer me.

Nova can’t even bring herself to text back.  Its all too deliciously overwhelming.  She knew that Harry was good at dirty talk, but its almost even more intoxicating reading his words instead of hearing them, because she knows that eventually he’s going to follow through.  

The most she can manage is a loud moan of his name followed by a long cry of “yes, fuck fuck fuck!”  Harry responds shortly after.

-Good girl. -God, listen to you.  Do you know how fucking hard you’re getting me right now? -You’re in for it the next time I get you alone, I swear to god Nova.  -If my fucking band weren’t coming over at any second I’d come over there and finish you off myself. -Holy fuck, Nova, those noises... -Do me a favor, darling?   -Scream my name when you cum.  Please.  Need to hear that again.

She almost contemplates going against his wishes, just because the thought of being punished by him is even sexier than the thought of being rewarded by him.  But then she feels that familiar twinge in her stomach, and suddenly things are spiraling out of her control before she even has time to process them.  Next thing she knows, she’s practically crying as the high overcomes her.

The fact that she doesn’t have to limit her volume makes the experience all the more enjoyable.  She’s shouting and whining and gasping, and babbling some type of word that doesn’t quite sound like his name-- but its all she can manage at the moment. 

She’s imagining his reaction.  In a perfect world, she’s imagining him hard, touching himself on the other side of the thin wall.  In reality though, she knows he’s probably only halfway chubbed up-- not enough to become desperate, but enough that its an uncomfortable and inconvenient little reminder of her.

She’s got him exactly where she wants him, and the feeling is euphoric. 

Nova pulls the vibrator away when the feeling becomes too much, but she’s practically in shock.  Her ears are ringing, her eyes are wide, and she has to blink a few times to get her eyes to focus again.  It isn’t until her phone vibrates with another text from Harry that she only somewhat comes back to earth.

-Fuck Nova you’ve got me so hard right now.  -That was your plan all along, wasn’t it you little brat?

Nova swallows, weakly pushing herself to sit up a bit.  She notices the sheets are a bit damp beneath her.  Had she been sweating that hard?

-Did it work?

-I swear to God... -Come over. -I’ll be quick.

It makes Nova giddy thinking about running next door for a quickie with Harry and knowing that his friends could pop in at any moment.  She’s absolutely in for a punishment after what she’s done, and the thought makes her heart pound and her head swim.

-Don’t want you to be quick

-I’ll cancel on my band.  Right now. -Need you so fucking bad.

Nova knows she shouldn’t be a tease any longer.  She knows full well that what she’s doing is bratty, but she’s got to get her kicks while she can and frankly, she wants him to be as mean (in the loveliest way) as possible when he does finally get his hands on her. 

-You can’t cancel on your band, Harry -You don’t need me that badly -Do you?

-I do. -Not sure you deserve it after that little show you put on, but that is neither here nor there. -I. Need. You. Now.

Nova bites her bottom lip, smirking at her phone and the desperation that is seeping off of his texts.  She’s about to just say fuck it, invite him over without giving his band a second thought, when he texts her again.

-Fucking hell.  They’re here.

-Oh noooo.  You poor thing :(

She knows she should relax but right now she’s having too much fun tormenting him.  She rolls off of her bed, shimmies into a clean pair of panties, and hurries into her living room just in time to hear voices coming from the hallway on the other side of her front door.

“Shit, H! You took your sweet time coming to the door, didn’t you lad?”  It’s a male voice and it makes Nova snicker, especially when she hears a faint “fuck off” coming from Harry.  She listens through all of their muffled greetings until she hears Harry close his door and their voices fade away.

Satisfied with her work, Nova decides to set her phone down and hop in the shower.  It’s still early and a lovely day outside. She has the fleeting thought that maybe she can convince Jessie to head out for sushi tonight, and her stomach grumbles in response.  So with one more smug little giggle she tosses her phone onto her bed and heads to the bathroom.

When she returns however, she is met with a text from Harry that sends her heart into a frenzy all over again.

-You have no idea what you’re in for little girl.

------

It’s Friday when Nova finally gets to see Harry again. 

Neither one of them has brought up up her little production since Monday, and Nova isn’t sure whether or not that’s a good thing. 

All of that aside, however, she does enjoy the fact that she and Harry speak constantly. They’d exchanged several texts and even a few phone calls throughout the week-- and it was during a phone call on Wednesday that he’d invited her here tonight.

“Bit silly that we talk on the phone so much when you live next door to me,” he’d said.  “I could get up right now and be in your bed in under ten seconds.”

To which Nova had giggled and replied,  “Well for one thing you know I’m not home right now.”

“Didn’t say I needed you in your bed with me.”

Nova rolled her eyes, but he’d only continued.  “But anyway, that’s also silly that you aren’t home right now.  You could easily be studying in my bed with me instead of at that damned coffee shop.”

Nova’s stomach had twisted at that because, god, was it tempting.  But no.  She picked at her nails casually as she spoke.  “Then we wouldn’t be doing much studying would we?”

“Depends how you look at it.”  Before even knowing what Harry was going to follow that statement up with, Nova had known it was going to be cheeky.  “Technically we’d be studying biology.”

“Harry.”

“Or anatomy, even.”

“Harry!”

They’d continued on like that for a bit until Nova felt her skin was practically on fire, and then just as swiftly as he’d turned her on, he’d changed the subject.  Telling her about this gig that his band was playing Friday night at a local bar, which he referred to as “vibey.”  Nova had rolled her eyes at his choice in adjectives, but he’d only continued.  “Absolutely sick.  I think you’ll dig it.”

Which is how she’s ended up here, bopping along to his band’s fourth song of the night and giggling like a little girl whenever Harry looks over at her and winks.

The entire band is beyond brilliant.  Not that she expected anything less.  She’d briefly met the other members before they’d gone up on the stage, and they all seemed to be incredible people who were passionate about what they did.  Watching them up there now, she’s absolutely mesmerized.  

It is hard, however, to focus her eyes on anything but Harry.  Especially when he looks as delicious as he does tonight.  The combination of the suit he’d opted to wear plus his slightly messy hair and thick hands on his guitar is absolutely deadly to Nova.  And despite the fact that she’s there to listen to the band and their music, she can’t stop her mind from thinking about how fantastic it’s going to be when she gets him alone tonight.

Nova is torn out of her thoughts when she feels someone nudge her.  She turns to see a guy, probably a little bit older than her, holding a beer and smiling at her.  He nods his head up at the stage.  “Ever heard them play before?”  

Nova shakes her head.  “No! This is the first time.”

They both have to speak loudly to be heard over the music.  The guy nods his head.  “Ah.  I saw them a few weekends ago up at some other bar.  They’re sick!”

The pride emanating from Nova’s chest causes her to smile, and she allows herself to glance back up at Harry one more time before nodding.  “I agree.  I’m kinda... seeing that guy up there.”  She doesn’t know how else to word it, because “dating” seems to be too formal for what she and Harry currently are.  She wants to further explain, but her new friend thinks nothing of it.

“What?  The lead singer?”  When Nova nods, his jaw drops.  “No way! That’s awesome.  Met him the other weekend.  He bought me a couple drinks. He’s a good guy. You know he’s from England?”

Nova giggles.  “I did know that, yeah.”  

The song comes to an end and the crowd goes wild. Nova beams up at Harry, cupping her hands around her mouth and letting out a loud cheer.  He smirks but he doesn’t look back at her, busying himself instead with switching guitars.  As soon as the strap of the new guitar is over his shoulder and adjusted, he leans into the microphone.  “Alright.  We’ve got some adjusting to do up here... because this next song we’re going to be covering is a bit different.”

The guy beside Nova holds out his hand.  “I’m Jason by the way.”

Nova shakes his hand, still speaking a bit loud to be heard over the feedback from the amps onstage and the crowd around them.  “Nova!”

His jaw drops again and it makes Nova snort.  This guy is so easily amused by everything she says.  “What a cool name!”

“Thanks!”  

“You ever been here before?”

Nova shakes her head.  “Nah. This is the first time.  I only came because of Harry.”

“I feel that.”  He nods his head seriously.  “Can I tell you a secret? I come for the keyboard player.”

“Really? Do you know her?”

It’s Jason’s turn to shake his head.  “I wish.  I’m hoping maybe your boy can introduce us though.”

Nova giggles.  “I mean, I only just met her today.  Her name is Clare.  She’s a really cute person from what I can tell.” 

“Obviously.  She’s fucking adorable.  Talented as hell, too.  Ask your boy if he can hook us up, yeah?”

Nova giggles.  “Alright.”

The band fumbles around the stage, switching out instruments and mics, and someone is bringing a stool on the stage.  

“You need another one of those?”

“What?”  Nova’s a bit distracted by the way Harry looks as he communicates softly with his fellow band members.  He’s beautiful without even trying, and Nova can’t believe how much she’s falling for this guy.

Jason nods at the empty drink in Nova’s hand.  “You need a refill, girl.”

“Oh.”  On any other occasion, Nova would have probably said no.  But she’s in a very good mood right now and, honestly, another one would probably only add to it.  “Yeah, I do actually.”

“You want me to go grab you one?”

“No no that’s okay.  I can get it.”

“You sure?”  Jason holds up his own empty drink.  “Headed over there anyway.”

Nova glances back at Harry, who’s got a guitar pic between his teeth and is skillfully tuning the guitar in his hands.  God, he’s perfect.

“Yeah I’ll just go over with you, actually.” 

“Oh! Alright.”

Nova and Jason squirm and bump their way through the crowd of people and over to the bar, talking the whole time.  Nova learns that he’s lived in California his whole life, but only moved to Los Angeles for film school about a year ago.  He’s 27, but the reason he’d waited so long to come here was because he’d had a long term girlfriend who he’d thought he was going to marry back at home. 

As they’re ordering their drinks, Nova can hear Harry saying something into the microphone.  She believes its a back story for the song they’re about to do, but its hard to understand him what with the story she’s currently telling Jason.  She makes a mental note to ask Harry what he was saying later.

It isn’t long before the song is starting.  It’s slower than the other songs they’d played, and Nova can instantly tell that the vibes of this song are different. Jason pays for both of their drinks (despite Nova’s protests) and the two bump their way back through the crowd just as Harry starts to sing. 

The crowd has gotten thicker since they’d left, and when Jason holds his hand out for Nova to take so they can stay together, she instinctively takes it.  He looks over his shoulder and says, “Gotta get you back up to your man,” which makes Nova laugh.

When Harry’s voice goes into falsetto,  chills rise all along Nova’s body.  The lighting is dim, save for one bright light on him.  He looks different, too.  More serious.  Less happy, but not necessarily sad or upset.  Every now and then, the girls in the band will join in with a harmony, but otherwise its just Harry.

Although Nova is focused more on getting back to her original spot and apologizing to the people she bumps into, she feels like she’s practically in a daze listening to Harry sing whatever song this is.

Jason leads Nova as close to their original spot after much struggle, and when he finally stops walking he grumbles, “Jesus.”  But then he’s right back to being the happy, friendly guy Nova just met.  “Anyway!”

Instead of letting go of her hand, he raises it, signaling for her to twirl under it.  Nova smiles, moving slowly.  Maybe its the slow, dreamy song.  Maybe its the boy singing it, or the way her skirt swishes as she twirls.  Whatever it is, she’s in a trance. She’s happier than she’s been in a long time, and this is all thanks to Harry.

Jason smiles at her and sways a bit himself before dropping her hand.  “Your boy is really good, Nova.”

Nova smiles up at Harry.  “I know he is.”

Oddly enough, Harry doesn’t look at her much during this song like he’s been doing throughout every other song.  It’s strange, but Nova just assumes its because this is a slower song.  It sounds sad, and Harry keeps repeating the words “Wishing you were mine” over and over.   Maybe it is a sad song, and Nova had missed the explanation earlier.  Maybe its a breakup song that Harry had absolutely fallen in love with during a tough time.  He does have such an amazing music taste, after all, so it wouldn’t surprise her.

The song ends shortly after, and everyone including Nova once again goes wild.  The band all smiles down at the crowd reactions, but for some reason, Harry doesn’t.

Harry isn’t even really looking at the crowd, actually.  He’s looking straight ahead, and his jaw is set.  He’s got the same look on his face that he did earlier-- not sad, but definitely not too pleased-- and it leads Nova to conclude that that really is an emotional song for him.  She cups her hands around her mouth once more and calls out to him, cheering and clapping with the audience and fully prepared to greet him with an encouraging smile to bring him back to earth. 

But he doesn’t even budge.

When the crowd relaxes, he seems to come back a bit.  He clears his throat and leans in to the microphone.  “Thank you.  Eh.. we’ve got one more song for you guys, and I’m sure you’ll all know it.  So... if you like it, feel free to sing along.”

There’s hardly any hesitation before he nods at the band and counts down the beginning of the song.  As soon as he plays the opening chords,  his head lowers.  He doesn’t lift it again.

Nova furrows her eyebrows and turns to Jason.  “Is he being like, totally weird now, or is it just me?”

“What??”  Jason seems to know the song they’re playing, and he’s bopping and swaying around like a madman.

Nova smiles in spite of herself.  “Nothing.  Nevermind.”

“Why aren’t you dancing?!”

She shakes her head  and laughs when Jason takes her hand and twirls her once more.  He chants “Dance!” at her until she’s finally making a bit of an effort to move without his help.  

And soon all is forgotten.  Soon she’s laughing and dancing, assuring herself that its all in her head and reminding herself that she gets that beautiful, talented guy and all of his post-show adrenaline to herself after this show.

She is going to absolutely ravage him.

During a long guitar break, the band says their final thank you’s and goodbye’s, and before Nova knows it the song is over.  The crowd is going even more wild than before, and rightfully so.  But now, Nova is getting pushed and shoved to the side as everyone tries to rush in separate directions.  Some run towards the stage to try and talk to the band.  Some are making a desperate attempt to leave the dance floor and head over to the bar before everyone else has the same idea.  And then there’s Nova, caught in the chaos while unsuccessfully trying to keep her eye on Harry so she can find him after all of this.

By the time things finally do calm down even the slightest bit, the band is off the stage and has most likely blended into this crowd.  Nova frowns as her eyes scan the room and she comes to the realization that Harry didn’t come find her. 

She hardly registers it when Jason asks her if she wants another drink.  “What?  Oh, no.  I uh... I have to go find Harry.”

“Ooh yes.  Go get your man.”  Jason wiggles his eyebrows.  “But don’t forget what we talked about, alright?  I’ll be hanging out here all night.  I want to meet Clare.”

Nova half-heartedly laughs, too consumed by her own concerns at the moment. 

Why didn’t Harry come find her?

“Alrighty, will do.  It was nice meeting you, Jason!”

Jason gives her a sweaty hug and, annoyingly, reminds her one more time about how badly he wants to meet Clare.  Of course.

Nova pushes her way through the crowd and her panic levels begin to rise.  She knows Harry wouldn’t leave without her, but still.  Being at a bar alone, knowing nobody around her-- its a terrifying thought.

Relief washes over her when, finally a few minutes later she spies him, leaning on the bar.  He’s surrounded by a group of people; mostly the people from the band from what she can see.  They’re all talking and laughing with drinks in hand, but Harry isn’t joining in the jokes.  Harry’s barely even smiling as he sips something brown from a clear glass.

“There you are!”  Nova pushes her way through the crowd.  The minute Harry sees her, whatever trace of a smile he’d had disappears. When Nova wraps her arms around his middle and gives him an affectionate squeeze, he only drapes his arm loosely around her.  Uh oh.

“I didn’t know where you went!” Nova says, unaffected by his lack of enthusiasm.

“Was right here,” he mutters.  He looks like he’s about to say something else, but instead he raises his glass to his lips and takes a long sip.

Nova blinks, but she shakes it off.  “Harry, you were so good!  The whole band was outstanding.  I love your music!! I don’t know why you didn’t show me sooner, seriously.  Because wow.”

Harry shrugs.  “Sorry.”  

He takes another sip, and now Nova is starting to get uncomfortable.  She opens her mouth to ask him what’s going on, but she’s cut off when the band’s bassist makes his way over.  “Heyyy, there she is!  How’d you like the set?”

This guy, Adam if Nova remembers correctly, is a total sweetheart.  His smile is blinding and he seems to really love this band and what he does, because he’s never not smiling.  Nova beams right back at him.  “It was incredible! Seriously, you guys are so sick.  And you’re insanely talented!”

Adam smiles so wide it looks like his eyes are barely even open.  Its adorable.  “Thanks!  Felt really good tonight.  Loved the crowd!”

“So did Nova,” Harry mutters, and both Adam and Nova fall silent for a moment.

Nova blinks, taking in what he’s just said.  “I... what?”

Harry shakes his head and shifts his weight so he’s standing upright.  “Nothing.  ‘Scuse me.”  He puts his hand on the drummer’s back to gently let her know that he’s trying to get through, and then he’s maneuvering his way through the room. 

Nova gapes dumbly after him.  She doesn’t even know what to say, and apparently neither does Adam, because they both just stare at the crowd that Harry has disappeared into. This isn’t the Harry that Nova knows.  Not by a long shot.  But what on earth had made him so moody all of a sudden?

Adam chuckles, raising a nervous hand to run through his hair.  “Sorry about him.”

It’s then Nova realizes her mouth is still open, and she turns her attention to Adam.  “I don’t understand what just happened.”

Adam shrugs.  “He gets... weird sometimes.  Gets in these shitty moods.  He can be a real asshole when he wants to be.”

“But what did I do?” Nova’s frowning, and she realizes that she has a slight whine in her voice when she asks.

“Nothing that I know of.  You came to his show to support him, and now he’s being a prick to you.”

Nova holds her breath as she considers her words, but she blows it all out when her mind comes up short. 

Adam leans against the bar.  “Hey,” he says with a smile.  “I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you, alright?  It’ll pass and he’ll be right back to being the Harry that we all know and love.”

Nova frowns.  “He doesn’t get a free pass to be a douchebag without explaining himself.”

This makes Adam chuckle into his drink.  “You’re right, he doesn’t.  But I don’t want this to ruin your night.  Have a drink.  Let him sulk.  He’ll come around.  Here, what do you want?  A beer?”

Nova smiles at him.  He’s being such an angel to her and she’s only just met him tonight.  She shakes her head.  “Nothing for right now.  I’m gonna go find him.”

“You sure?”  His words are laced with genuine concern, and Nova nods.

“Yeah.  It’ll be fine.”

Adam takes a deep breath and nods.  “Alright then.  Good luck.”

Nova chews the inside of her cheek nervously as she makes her way through the bar.  It’s sweaty and crowded and dark, and the drunk people are just as annoying as ever. Her eyes scan the crowd as she walks, covering nearly every square inch of the bar, and she frowns when she doesn’t see him anywhere.  He wouldn’t have left without saying anything.

Would he?

She sees a group of girls heading towards a back door with lighters in hand.  One girl is holding a pack of cigarettes, and it’s then that Nova realizes there’s a back porch here.  She turns on her heels and hightails it to go catch up with the girls and follow them.

Its another warm night, which Nova loves,  There are a few people out here, and almost all of them are smoking.  She lets out a cough when a particularly thick cloud of smoke floats towards her.  She uses her hand to clear the air a bit, and then she sees him.

He’s leaned over the back railing.  His drink is still in his hand, but now his phone is in his other hand, and he’s scrolling mindlessly through some social media feed.  Nova is suddenly overcome with nerves, because although confrontation has never really been much of an issue for her, this is Harry she’s confronting, and somehow it doesn’t feel right.

She takes a deep breath and walks over to him.  He doesn’t look up, but he does audibly sigh when he sees her in his peripheral vision.  Nova frowns.  She’s about to open her mouth to say something, but Harry beats her to it.

“What are you doin’ out here?” He asks.

“Um, I could ask you the same question,” Nova blurts.  She feels awkward and exposed for some reason, and she doesn’t know what to do with her hands.  This is weird.  This is not right.

“Didn’t want to distract,” Harry states matter-of-factly.  He hits the power button on his phone before shoving it in his pocket and finally turning to face her. 

“Distract?  From what exactly?  The whole reason I came here was to see you.”

“Did you?”  Despite his mood, he’s still got the hint of a smirk on his face.  It’s different now though.  This one doesn’t turn Nova on.  This one makes Nova feel small, and not in a good way.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your friend.  He couldn’t have stood any closer to you if he’d tried, you know that?”

Nova wracks her brain to try and remember what “friend” Harry is referring to, until it clicks.  “Jason?”

Harry scoffs.  “Oh, s’that his name? Jason.  What a guy.  Good dancer, too.”

“Are you kidding me?  That’s really what this is about right now?”

“Guess it is.”

Nova shakes her head in disbelief.  What happened to him?  The sweet, romantic guy who was a little shit in the best way possible?  “Harry--”

“I know you’re a friendly girl, Nova.  I get it.  People can’t get enough of you.   But when I invited you tonight, it wasn’t just a ‘lets go out and get drunk and meet new people’ thing.  It wasn’t just a ‘friend’ thing, Nova.  It’s never been just a ‘friend’ thing.”

Nova takes a step towards him.  “Of course it’s not a ‘friend’ thing.  What are you even saying right now?  I came here because of you!  To see you!  I didn’t ask the guy to dance with me--”

“But you danced with him didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, actually!   I’m so sorry I had a basic interaction with another human being before checking with you first! Won’t happen again, sir!”

Harry rolls his eyes.  “For fucks sake, Nova.”

“No, really!  By all means!! Tell me what else I’ve done wrong! I complimented some girl’s shoes in the bathroom, is that okay with you?”

“Nova--”

“Also,  I hope it didn’t offend you just now when I told Adam he was insanely talented! I totally should have checked with you first!”

 Now that Harry’s actually making eye contact with her, Nova wishes he wasn’t.   He looks angry and hurt.  It’s a look she’s never seen on his face, and a look she never wants to see again.  “You know damn well that isn’t what I mean.”

Still, Nova stands her ground.  “Is it not?  Cause I’m kind of getting the feeling that it is.”

 “Did you tell him why you were here?”  His question is very to the point, and now Nova’s ears are ringing.

“Of course I--”

Harry cuts her off.  “Or did it not come up? I mean, no reason for it to come up, right?  Doesn’t mean anything.”

“Harry that’s not--”

“Doesn’t matter.  We’re just neighbors.  ‘Neighbors with benefits’ if you will. Right?”

Now Nova’s getting upset.  “You know for a fact that that’s wrong...”

“Do I?”  Harry’s posture is tense.  Where he seems to be looming, Nova seems to be shrinking.  She doesn’t like it. 

“It was just dancing!” Nova’s voice raises a bit.  Not enough to cause a scene quite yet, but enough.  “Holy shit, Harry, you don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do.  Are you kidding me?  You don’t get to be jealous like this.”

“And you don’t get to tell me what I get to be, Nova!”  Harry shakes his head.  They stand there in their horrible, angry tension, and then Harry lets out a breath.  “Christ.”  He raises his glass to his lips and takes another sip.

“I can’t believe you,” Nova spits.  “I came here to support you and you’re getting jealous over nothing.  Something so fucking insignificant--”  Harry snorts at her words, “--and for what?  You haven’t asked me to be your girlfriend.  You haven’t even asked me on a date.”

“Did you even listen to a word I sang tonight?”

“Of course I did!”

“And did you hear what I said before the song you danced to?  Hm?  Were you listenin’ to that?”

“Harry, I was.”

“What did I say then?”

Nova’s jaw drops.  “Am I being fucking quizzed right now? Are you accusing me of lying?  Are you gonna fucking punish me if I get this wrong?”

“Did you hear what I said about you before that song?  Hm?”  

And now Nova’s mouth closes. 

Harry continues.  “No.  You didn’t. And you know why you didn’t?  You were getting a drink with Jason when I said it.”

Suddenly, the night feels a bit colder.  Nova has nothing to say.

Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair.  His voice softens.  “Fuck.  I’m not saying that in order to be with me you can never talk to guys again.  I would never in a million years fucking say that to you.  Christ, have you seen yourself?  The day you stop getting attention is the day that hell freezes over.”

“Stop.” Nova’s voice is so quiet it’s hardly above a whisper.  

“But what I am saying...”  Harry lets out a long breath and takes another sip.  “I don’t know.  I’m saying I really fucking like you.  You’re always going to have male friends.  And you’re always going to be beautiful.  I hate to sound like a whiny little pissbaby, because I know... ha.  I know that’s what I fucking sound like.  But Nova, I said... a lot tonight.  And you didn’t hear a word of it.”

Nova feels that familiar lump in her throat and begs herself not to cry.  “What did you say?”

Harry laughs and shakes his head.  “Doesn’t matter.  None of this fucking matters.”

“Harry, it does matter.  Will you please just--”

“No,” Harry cuts her off.  “No I won’t ‘please just’ do anything.  I’m going to go home.  And I’m going to get in bed, and probably fucking hate myself for a long time.”

“But I don’t want you to--”

“But I’m going to, aren’t I?  I’m going to, because I fucked this whole thing up.  I invited you here.  I tried to confess my feelings in a very... stupid, fucking idiotic way.  And you weren’t even paying attention.   So now I feel like a fucking idiot, and I feel even more of an idiot for having this conversation in the first place.”

“Harry.”  That’s all Nova can even think to say.

“No, you know what?  You’re right.  I don’t get to be jealous like this.  I have no claim on you.  Whatsoever.  And I don’t know why I thought I did.”

Nova feels the first tear prickle at her eye, and she refuses to look up.  “You do.”

“I don’t. I really, really don’t.  And I’m sorry that I tried to force that into being a thing.”  Harry finishes off the rest of his drink and sets the glass down on the railing.  “And,” he adds,  “I’m sorry for this conversation.”

When Nova looks at him, she can’t stop herself from letting a tear fall down her cheek.  But she has nothing to say.

They they both stand there looking at one another.  Both of them wondering what the hell just happened between them.  Both of them wondering where they stand now.

Harry still looks mad, but his voice softens to an almost unrecognizable amount. “You have a safe way home?”

“I can take an uber.”

He nods his head as if thinking about something.  “Alright.”

He turns to go, but Nova reaches out to grab his arm.  “Can I leave with you?”

“Nova--”

“Please?  I want to go home.”

Harry’s eyes dart down to Nova’s hand on his arm, and even he looks like he could cry. Eventually, he sighs.  “Fine.  Let’s go.”

The shared uber ride back to the apartment complex is completely awkward, with the radio playing and the uber driving chatting cluelessly about a ride he’d had earlier.  Harry and Nova add their polite comments every now and then, but it feels so stiff.  So forced.  They’re sitting on opposite ends of the backseat, and Nova feels that if she were any closer to the car door she’d be outside of the car.  

Where Nova wants to be is on Harry’s lap.  She wants to taste whatever it was that he was drinking on his lips while they share giggly, post show adrenaline kisses.  She wants to be showering him in praises, hinting at what she’s going to do to him when they get home.  Would they have stayed at her place or his?  He hasn’t been to hers yet, and Jessie is gone for the night. They’d probably stay at hers.

But life is not a fanfiction, and Nova has to remind herself of that.  Things don’t work that way. 

Neither says a word once they get out of the uber either. The elevator ride up to their apartment is silent.  There are a few sniffles from Nova, who’s trying her best not to cry.  And Harry clears his throat every few moments.  But he won’t even look at her at this point, and Nova doesn’t know if thats a good or bad thing.

Its when they reach the space between their doors that Harry finally breaks the silence.  “Have a good night,” he says.  He doesn’t stop to hug her.  He just inserts his key into the door.

“Harry I’m sorry.”  It comes out fast and desperate, but somehow the words still don’t convey everything that Nova is feeling.  Right now, she’s hurt.  She’s hurt, and she’s guilty, and she wants to sit and talk this through with him.

He doesn’t look at her, but he does halt his movements for a brief moment.  “Me too.”

Nova allows her eyes to drop, because she isn’t about to stand there and stare at him until he disappears into his apartment.  Of course, the moment she looks down, her eyes come across something on the floor in front of her door. 

It’s small and square shaped, and it has a little red bow on it, as well as a note that reads:  “To Novocaine” in big letters.  After a split second of intrigue and endearment, her heart drops even lower than it was before.

“What’s this?”  She asks.

She is answered only by the sound of Harry’s front door closing.

Nova closes her eyes and allows the thickness of the situation to sink in for a moment before letting out all her air and leaning down to pick up the item.

She instantly recognizes it as a CD case, and when she picks up the note she notices a smaller message written below her name. 

“I promised you I’d introduce you to new music.  These are just a few (100 to be exact) of my favorites that remind me of you.  I know mix tapes are old fashioned and all the kids are using iTunes these days or whatever, but I knew you’d appreciate this. Thank you for being wonderful always. H x.  (PS.  Listen to track 36.  If tonight went the way I hope it did, you’re going to love it)”

A hot tear rolls quickly down Nova’s cheek and hits the case in her hand.  It lands right on the plastic CD cover, which is a poorly drawn illustration of the night sky that Nova knows immediately Harry’s done by hand.  And, in font that Harry probably traced, is the word “Supernova” in purple ink.  Fuck.

She reaches up to wipe at her eyes before disappearing into her apartment.  She doesn’t even bother taking off her makeup before she gets undressed and climbs into her bed, and five minutes later, she’s sitting under the covers with her laptop resting on her thighs.  She pushes the CD into the disc reader and waits.

A new tab opens with a list of every song burned onto the CD (and Harry was right, there are exactly one hundred), and seconds later, the cheerful intro to the very first song plays.

Fake young when we met, everything seemed alright...

Nova smiles in spite of herself.  She’s barely heard three seconds of only one song out of one hundred, but its such a sweet gesture and so ridiculously “Harry” that it makes her happy.  

She glances back down at the hand-drawn CD cover and the note that Harry wrote, and her heart sinks just a little bit more as she’s reminded of her current situation.  Things aren’t as happy as this song would lead her to believe. 

And Harry wants her to listen to track thirty six.

She scrolls through the song titles until she reaches thirty six, and her throat feels dry when she reads the title.  “Mine-  Dayo Bello (Cover by Harry Styles).”  It takes her fifteen seconds of reading the title before she finally plays it.

She doesn’t know when he recorded this, or how he’d kept it a secret from her.  But her eyes blur with tears as she listens.  She can hear him shuffling in his seat, she can hear his guitar strings squeaking under his fingers, she can hear him clearing his throat softly just before singing.  

Nova recognizes the song as one that Harry played tonight.  More specifically, it’s the one that she had danced and swayed with Jason to. She hadn’t listened to the words very carefully and realizes quickly that her assumptions about this song were not correct.  They’d been entirely off, in fact.

She hadn’t realized that Harry had chosen that song specifically for her, because it was how he felt.

His cover is beautiful.  It’s raw, and it makes Nova’s chest feel as though it’s being sat on by an elephant.  His falsetto causes chills all along her skin, just as it had earlier.  Even though she knows she’d heard him sing it a few hours before, this cover is different than it had been.  This cover feels more intimate because it’s just him.  There’s no band behind him doing backup vocals.  No other instruments.  It’s him, his guitar, and his feelings being poured out to her through the speakers of her laptop.

Nova lets out a shaky breath, trying and failing to get her breathing under control before eventually giving up.  She reaches up and rubs her face with her hands, over and over and over.  

“And you don’t even know, you’re like my wildest dream Held captive in stone, held captive in stone, Wishing you were mine Wishing you were mine...”

Nova swallows the lump in her throat before reaching over to pick up her phone.  She types and retypes apologies. She dials his number, but hangs up before hitting the call button.  She moves her laptop to the side, multiple times, and attempts to get up out of bed so she can go apologize in person.  She goes through the motions over and over, wash, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat until she finally gives up and lets out a long sob.  

Could he hear that?  Does she care?  She feels restless, exhausted, helpless, and she can’t even begin to think of a way to fix this right now.  And all the while, Harry’s voice croons through her laptop, holding her frozen in place.

Wishing you were mine... Wishing you were mine...

Nova finally surrenders, allowing herself to just sit there and listen.  Listen to his voice, listen to the words and the emotions behind them.  This version is much, much longer than the one he’d played live tonight, and Nova doesn’t know if she’d rather the song never end or stop completely, mid chorus.

When it does finally end, fading into the next song, Nova just closes her laptop.  The room falls silent, and her throat feels thick.  She hadn’t realized that she was sitting straight up, and she relaxes back into her pillows with a defeated sigh. She has to say something.  Do something.  Anything.

She picks up her phone without allowing herself a second though, mindlessly types out a text message, and hits “send.”  Her heart is racing, pounding in her ears, and another tear rolls down her cheek.

-I am so, incredibly sorry Harry.

Read at 11:36pm.

[yeah-sure-amanda]

Emmerdale Not So Live but Organized - January 3, 2018 (Vacation Edition)

Welcome to the super late preshow! I’m slightly drunk. Hung out with my mom and drank a lot of champagne while trying out some new dishes from our friends at Borgata. So, it’s a late review but it’s a review. Enjoy! (Thursdays review will be super late so yeah. Mini vacay ahoy!) I won’t lie, I’m glad I won’t be watching Thursday live. I’d rather not see Alex if I have to. If something big happens I’m going to rush to write a review. If something major happens with Robron…I’ll find a way to watch before I go back out with my mom.

*Scouts honor!*

This review will be different. No speculation gif or what to do at the bottom. Welcome to the vacation reviews which will last to Friday. After that, it goes back to normal around here. Sorry for the weirdness. 

Moira’s Farm

What was the point of rebuilding Victoria’s place if they are using Moira’s? Just saying.

I still think they left it so Adam could come back someday. Next year. Just saying. Robron wedding. WHAT? Who said that?

That’s what I do when I’m sad. Feed chickens.

Wait? Is Cain burning that sweater? Not that it could help. Harriet was right yesterday in saying that it can’t be used in a court of law. *shrug*

WOAH. WOOOOAHHHH. Domestic violence is NOT COOL. WTF. I hated seeing Aaron throw a wrench at Robert. I HATE Moira hitting Cain. I don’t care about the circumstances. THAT…I DON’T LIKE IT AT ALL.

The Café Crew

Robert and Cain in a scene together! HELL YEAH.

KNEW IT! Robert picked a porn. HA. I love him so much.

Cain and Harriet. Why are they a thing again? Seriously. Move on Harriet. SAVE YOURSELF.

I’m still entertained that Sam acts one way and the actor acts another. It blows my mind. *Amanda its called Acting* *I know but it throws me*

Leyla running for Greece. *WINK* *BABY GREECE* *DOUBLE WINK*

Megan/Leyla/The Bartons

How random. I haven’t seen them in a long time.

Those two seem to be connected at the hip these days. The Bartons. Odd.

Jacobs Fold

“I don’t want to see you again!” – Debbie *HONEY. He is the new Home Farm family. DEAL WITH IT.

Tom is in love with Debbie? Get in line.

Tom’s hair is extra high today. Just saying.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. The Dingles know Alex better than Tom? FUCK THAT.

I like Tom over Alex. Alex sucks. He doesn’t even suck well.

If think Charity hates all men. Just saying.

The Pub Crew

Danny looks hot today. Whoops. Is that the alcohol talking? *GIGGLES*

Robert backed Aaron and Cain to protect them. *HEART EYES* I love that. Only for Family. We all know Alex would NEVER do that. Lame-o. I already hate the idea that he is around tomorrow.

“Robert…Sugden. My Ex….” – BOOO! Robert is your ex but not for long! *ROBRON FTW*

They both look so guilty by the way. Aaron and Cain. They owe Robert big time.

Aaron smiling about Roberts choice of film was so great. *wink*

The Sugdens

Robert playing annoyed and confused is great. *HIGH FIVE*

“After dumping me…” – Robert Sugden

“Could you arrest him for being a miserable git?” – Robert about Aaron *SNORT*

AWWWWWWWW! A Sugden Family hug! I LOVE IT. I have to say that Victoria isn’t on my nerves anymore. She has finally come back from PLOT POINT LAND. Welcome back Victoria! I missed you!

[saltandlimes]

This is so awesome that I’m posting it so the rest of the world can see. I hope you don’t mind, dear! Also like super random, but wow is this awesome research and information for people. (Also I slightly edited because, as you say, mobile sucks)

[SW headcanons at the end]

WELL OKAY IF IT’S ESSENTIAL INFORMATION and I’m procrastinating on some technical writing like nobody’s business HERE IS AN ATTEMPTED BREAKDOWN OF WHAT DIFFERENT KINDS OF “GLORIFIED METAL STICK” MOBILITY AIDS ARE GOOD FOR FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF WHY I’M DESIGNING WITH THEM

Insert disclaimer that the only person whose body I have extensively studied these things on is my own and I’ve been using various mobility aids for less than a fifth of my life so this is not magic gospel etc whatever MOTION INCLUDING VIOLENCE TIME

Basic-as-heck term definition party: canes are what you think they are, o reader; forearm crutches are those things that look kind of like canes that go up to your elbow (for example, these are mine https://www.ergoactives.com/products/crutches); armpit crutches are the design family that, uh, go up to your armpits, I guess that is kind of obvious. This includes the off-the-shelf ones you see people with broken legs and stuff with, as well as fancy shit like my beloved www.djoglobal.com/products/donjoy/rebound-crutches that spawned this discourse in the first place.

The way I walk it’s a successively escalating trade off of increasing quality of walking with my hands at the expense of being able to use my hands for other things. Canes I have a free hand no matter what, and all the ones I’ve had have been aluminum with a wrist loop and so very easy to either just drag up off the floor when I pick my hand up or hook the handle over my wrist and treat like an awkward bracelet. Nothing else has that degree of unobtrusiveness, but it’s at the expense of the least increase in physical function. They’re the most versatile for combat because they’re just three feet of metal with a handle; I can flip one up into my hand to hold it like a sword with the handle as the pommel in one gesture without taking the wrist loop off, or throw it in the air and catch it at the base and swing it using the handle as a hammer. Most of my sparring with fencers has been with canes; any higher than that up the scale (the scale is both figurative and my arm) requires moving to a set of combat motions that are fairly unique.

Forearm crutches are kind of like canes without the wrist motion; my wrist is locked straight and it doesn’t make any sense to flip them upside down to use as a bat instead. I can swing from the elbow–even aside from trying to hit people, one of the tics I have with forearm crutches that I don’t with anything else is swinging them in a little sideways arc with each step instead of just back-and-forth if I’m on uneven ground, because that motion is much easier from the elbow than either the wrist or the shoulder–and I can bend my elbows, which means I can, for example, cross one or both crutches in front of my body to prove a point or block projectiles. Motions are increasingly exaggerated and unsubtle, but generally have more force behind them.

The only armpit crutches I can speak for are mine–the question-mark shape as opposed to the kind of triangular ones, I’ve tried them, we had deep disagreements–but given what I know about playing soccer with the other kind of armpit crutches there might not be a huge difference here. At any rate, they move with my arms and not only do I not have wrist rotation I basically have none in the elbow; what I can do with them is limited to the range of motion of my shoulders with a metal bar jammed under them. Trying to hit things with armpit crutches without taking them off (see below for the alternative to that) is all big, openhanded or overhead swings and jabs, and I can’t cross them like forearm crutches.

On the other hand, armpit crutches have the second-largest range of motion when standing still, and the largest range of motion without taking them off! Where propping my elbows up on forearm crutches so that they stay put without my hands on the handles is weird and a bit precarious and the added motions are basically “ability to use a phone”, and the versatility of a cane is mostly just that I can lift it easily, if I stand still and don’t lift my upper arms above my shoulders armpit crutches will just stay put. So I can text, or read, or do fine manual labor, or curse people out with appropriate gestures, or even stick my hands in my pockets or behind my back. There’s way less violence/other uncommon physical actions one can do without preparing for it, but if you’re going to be standing still and need continued physical support (strictly you’re not supposed to put weight through your armpits and also no one actually follows that rule) it’s the closest you’ll get to a loophole giving you the range of expressiveness of someone without crutches. The best physical example I can think of is if I was teaching a class and I had to use a high whiteboard frequently (ugh) I’d probably just give up and use one forearm crutch or a cane so my writing hand would be free, but if I’m /lecturing/ armpit crutches are basically invisible.

Which is how I got here: thinking about gesturing relating to giving orders etc., versus hitting people, and who I would prioritize those around! Which brings us to: MEANWHILE BACK AT THE STAR WAR as long as we’re here and in a format I can do links here’s where I’m at for the grab bag of characters I’ve slapped stuff on so far. Sorry for the ugly links and the fact that I am in love with a few designs specifically, I very much play favorites.

It would probably make more sense for at least some lightsaber users to have canes instead of forearm crutches but I am the boss of me and also working off of not having any specific disability headcanons and instead going “what would I need to cosplay this person” so forearm crutch party it is. Between https://www.ergoactives.com/products/crutches and millennialmedical.com/forearm-in-motion-crutches.html the canon saber colors are covered and I haven’t gone through Jedi-by-Jedi to figure out which handle is more their #aesthetic for the most part.

I haven’t seen any Rebels let alone S3 (booo me, etc.) so I know what color I’d give Thrawn (the Millennial blue anodized aluminum) but not if the way he moves would tip him over into forearm crutches vs the fact that I’m giving most high command kinds of people armpit crutches. So blue millennialmedical.com/in-motion-pro-crutch.html versus millennialmedical.com/forearm-in-motion-crutches.html and disclaimer that it’s not just aesthetic; I get the impression if forced to pick a color he’d pick a definition of what he is that includes species over rank, I think?

On the complete other side of the “how much of your identity is your rank” spectrum, we have established that I can’t /not/ give Krennic those same Millennials in white, look at this shit, I am being personally persecuted. millennialmedical.com/in-motion-pro-crutch.html Even aside from being the right color they’re nominally severe and elegant while also being kind of weird and having a lot of potential for casual damage. Also this became a character analysis project at some point.

Hux gets mine (www.djoglobal.com/products/donjoy/rebound-crutches), that’s kind of just a given. “Black metal with a single red bar is The Aesthetic” is what got us here. …That and the fact that things I have established I can do while wearing mine include standing still with my hands clasped behind my back, and wandering around wearing a (leather) greatcoat as a cape, so… They fit him more than plain black armpit crutches would, and that train of thought is how I realized that was the general model (damn it. Puns. Go away) to go with for command staff in the first place.

Speaking of black and red, my roommate’s reaction (“Darth Emo Douchebag (sic)”) when I got them aside there’s not enough red in them for Ren BUT there is in the red-bodied version of the Millennial ones!

Also I’m giving Ren armpit crutches despite having established that forearm crutches are my favorite for combat for three reasons. Two and a half? His canon saber is fucking absurd in design in general and also in /size/, this is not a dick joke, it is a fucking magic space broadsword, having it be in the same design family as everyone else’s would be weird. And the caveat to how limited my range of motion for hitting people with armpit crutches on is that they’re about a foot longer and if I take one off and hold it like a bat while leaning on the other I suddenly have four feet of metal to swing–which is the most effective/intimidating combat option for me, and also the one involving highest burn-out rate (I have two crutches for a reason) and undermining of the purpose of having crutches itself. Which seems appropriate. (And if you’re weaponizing forearm crutches you can block. Even without taking them off the range of motion for armpit crutches–like, imagine your arm is four feet long, entirely straight, and there’s about 20 degrees less range of motion from the shoulder–makes them offense-only, and a form of offense with long, telegraphed strikes that require complete commitment to the arc.)

Back to people who aren’t primarily hand-to-hand combatants: the fact that I’m flying by the seat of my pants basing these choices off of what they would mean for my daily life means that, basically, command staff etc get /either/ canes or armpit crutches–because they’re the two options that give you the most expressiveness with hands without dropping them–based on whether I think they’re also someone who’d prioritize increase in daily walking range versus increase in dexterity.

So Sloane, in the continued tales of ‘not-very-anon just really wants to upgrade to the In-Motions but has literally no justification for it and so is giving them to space fascists instead’, gets these, too millennialmedical.com/in-motion-pro-crutch.html but in the gunmetal/charcoal gray. Even though she now holds a rank that means a white uniform, she doesn’t strongly identify with it; metal in the steel-to-gunmetal range registers to me personally as much more of a generic authority thing, and it wouldn’t clash with her olive/black uniform or the white one.

But I gave Tarkin one of these instead https://smile.amazon.com/Hugo-Mobility-Adjustable-Handle-Reflective/dp/B005IV0AZ6/ref=sr_1_8_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1486768005&sr=8-8&keywords=Hugo%2Bmobility&th=1 because I feel like he’d prioritize use of his hands to what on me would be a fault, and similarly take the narrow tip for pinpoint turns over “being sure that you won’t fuck up your entire balance if you miss the ground by more than ten degrees”. I briefly considered the amber color because it matches the highest rank he’s attained but honestly the 'it’s the gun color’ logic holds here too.

The other thing canes are easier for is getting up/sitting down quickly, so for someone who either alternates between desk work and short distances, or is going to be probably seated but jump up and yell at people on short notice, it’s the intuitive choice there too. So the other cane-user I have a solid design claim for is Carise Sindian and she gets the cane that’s actually my current backup/job interview cane (it intimidates people less, idk, I don’t get it and I don’t like it but oh well): https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B005IV0C2W/ref=sr_ph_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1486768449&sr=sr-1&keywords=Hugo+mobility, in aquamarine. Bright, obviously a deliberate fashion statement without being frivolous if you have any idea what you’re looking at, I like the wider bases even though they make me less graceful in specific circumstances because they also stand up on their own so if you need to look like you know what you’re doing in unfamiliar environments (like, say, Random Politics Events) you don’t have to play the game of “whoops where can I lean these up against oh they fell on me again ow this was definitely intentional”, and for her I’d want to prioritize the appearance of intentionality and dignity.

I know I want Sinjir (hey, look, it’s someone who isn’t a villain! I swear I like them sometimes!) to have a cane with a molded left-handed grip and the tack-hammer-shaped handle that is a good, well, hammer in a pinch if you flip it around and hold it by the end of the cane, but I haven’t found one I can link.

Similarly, Leia strikes me as either a walking stick person or as someone with a folding cane who actually disassembles it, with no middle ground, and I have no idea what to look for there because I am not either of those kinds of people, so I am going to stop now and do my overdue Thing instead and hope that the stream of consciousness didn’t make this unreadable and that it was in fact interesting!

[csjmadhouse]

“Blue Dynamite” is the debut album from American Metal-Pop band COCAINE + ABEL. Comprised of breakout solo artist Cody St. John and the remnants of Candice Cornell’s self titled bandmates CANDICE, these four men have delivered an album focused on drugs and their effects on human interaction. With all the sounds that made Cody a rising star fused with the band’s signature sound of yesteryear, this one-off will leave people wanting more and is sure to become a classic in its own right. DEVIL’S BITCH Warned me not to sell my soul to the devil Never said I couldn't give it away for free So I went and did just that And now he won't let me be He's got his hands in my pockets And his ears to my door I'm struggling to break free The devil's a pimp And I'm his whore He uses my voice To make him more He abuses my body Until I'm sore Am I even a fucking human Or am I just a slave How'd I become the devil's bitch Am I even fucking breathing Or was that my last breath I just gave How'd I become the devil's bitch How'd I become the devil's bitch? Should'a known he was no good When he had me sign my name in blood Noah would've let him drown If he'd been there for the flood Now he's holding my head Beneath the water Outside this pool These flames grow higher I couldn't be hotter At lease the fire's delivered me From the darkness Am I even a fucking human Or am I just a slave How'd I become the devil's bitch Am I even fucking breathing Or was that my last breath I just gave How'd I become the devil's bitch How'd I become the devil's bitch? C.O.W.B.O.Y. Won't ride in on no white horse Like to let destruction run its course Know you were holding out for a knight Yet you fell for the dragon Now that you've hopped on There's no gettin' off this wagon You want this You want that Can't offer what boys offer you I'm a man Stuck in his head Can't offer what boys offer you They promise this They'll buy you that Can't offer what boys offer you What I can give you is the truth No matter how dark or fucked up it is Can't offer what boys offer you Won't be weighed down by some shining armor I'll bare it all no matter who gets hurt People will call me a monster Ask me how could I harm her How could I hurt him Never pretended to be a saint If you wanted a halo You should've found a man in church Shouldn't have called for me From the gargoyles perch You want this You want that Can't offer what boys offer you I'm a man Stuck in his head Can't offer what boys offer you They promise this They'll buy you that Can't offer what boys offer you What I can give you is the truth No matter how dark or fucked up it is Can't offer what boys offer you RED, WHITE & FUCK YOU Don't care if you fell down from heaven Or you rose up from hell We're all stuck on this rock  Living under a deadly spell  Fires are blazing Where we once shook hands Now each side's ready  For their victory dance  Love has been devoured  By a soulless hate Understanding is trapped Behind heaven's gate  Can we recover  Before we crumble Or are we doomed  To continue to stumble  Let's put down hate While teaching to love Regardless if you believe in nothing Or in the big man above  Since birth we've been told to love her America, the brave and rich America, the beautiful and powerful What about America, the corrupt bitch She's turning us on each other So we weaken the collective While she grows stronger  She's the parasite, we're the infected  We will dine on these ashes  While she eats caviar in her castle  Each one of us tossed aside Not one of us worth the hassle  America isn't our provider  America isn't our protector  We're supposed to defend each other In times when she's imprisoning defectors  Fuck you, America  Only offered your lighted torch  So you could extinguish it when we needed it Shooting our neighbors from our porch In the dark we can't tell friend or foe apart  Trust me, she's not our last hope One-on-one is the best place to begin Together, on three, drop the tug-o-war rope GUILLOTINE Let's burn this fucker to the ground Turn all these laws to ashes and dust Kick them up when I lift my legs Make a street show out of lust Rebels rising from the dirt Made of their own brothers and sisters Trigger happy hands Covered in blisters From so much fighting White knuckles ready To fire at will Gotta save the final bullet For the king of the hill Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine Whatcha gonna do When he comes When he comes for you He wants your head On his platinum platter Grinning ear to ear As your blood splatters Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine You wanna just smile Pretend everything's alright Guess that's what happens When you bring a poster to a knife fight Get mad, get angry It looks so good on a screen But out here on these roads You've gotta be mean Your words won't hurt out here Guess you should've bought a gun Before they took them from the shelves And turned the barrels on us Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine Whatcha gonna do When he comes When he comes for you He wants your head On his platinum platter Grinning ear to ear As your blood splatters Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine See, there's two types of people In a kingdom like this Those with the crown And those who want it Then there's the outliers Bless their little rebel hearts That only want the crown When the king's head is still on it Bloodied and severed So that no one will ever Want that gold on their head Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine Whatcha gonna do When he comes When he comes for you He wants your head On his platinum platter Grinning ear to ear As your blood splatters Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine MAKE YOU MISS ME Say you miss my attention Or was it my affection Think you missed my erection Tell me what's your intention Why you showin up here This damn late Looking at me With eyes of hate All I did was settle down Not my fault you weren't around Didn't want me when you had me And now you miss me Ignored my lips day and night Now you wanna kiss me Drove me further into madness You did this to me Ohhhhh you think it hurts now Boy wait till I make you miss me Booo-ooy just wait till I make you miss me Say you missed my face Or was it the lace That I tied 'round your wrists Gave me that look of bliss Well now I've moved on I've fallen in love Won't be your tiger Or gentle dove Only he can feel me now Hope you're here Hope you hear When he screams out loud For the man above Didn't want me when you had me And now you miss me Ignored my lips day and night Now you wanna kiss me Drove me further into madness You did this to me Ohhhhh you think it hurts now Boy wait till I make you miss me Booo-ooy just wait till I make you miss me Shared my name Thought that was good enough To keep me bound to you Let me teach you something new I don't like to beat the horse dead So stop looking at me like that So I don't have to tell you again That I'm walking away my friend It's done, I'm done, we're done Boy it's time you moved on Didn't want me when you had me And now you miss me Ignored my lips day and night Now you wanna kiss me Drove me further into madness You did this to me Ohhhhh you think it hurts now Boy wait till I make you miss me Booo-ooy just wait till I make you miss me DOMINO Shattered windshield and leaking fuel Broken jaw and a pool of drool Empty bottles in his backseat He may have hit me from the side But the first domino Knocked me forward Into a decline Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Threw a pebble into this pond And I lost my cool After the shockwaves Met my spine Caught me in a lie Sayin everything is fine Got bottles of my own Filled with little blue pills I'm the second domino And I'm fallin' for you Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Bruises on your neck Look just like my hand And the hole in the wall Looks just like your head We're all just links In this chain reaction Hopelessly waiting on one to break But this cycle's relentless And there's nothing we can do Soon you'll be the third domino Pretty boy, you're gonna fall too Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! BANG BANG Dreams are for children Aspirations are for teens Work is for adults Don't come to the battlefield  If you wanna keep your hands clean There's so much dirt out here I've only just begun to dig Smoke billows from my mouth From one too many cigs  You shot your cannon at me Love the way your hole looks in the ground You shot and you missed  Now that ball's coming back around 
 It was a cannonball Now it's a boomerang  I flipped my safety off Listen to that bang bang  I'm the man behind the smoking gun I'm the man who'll say he won Bang bang 
 Won't tell you to watch your back Cuz I love a fair fight  Don't like to throw punches from behind  Like a speeding train you'll see me coming  Not a damn thing you can do to stop me These tracks run right beneath your feet Chugga-chugga-choo-choo Can't get off the tracks  When the trains coming for you   
 It was a cannonball Now it's a boomerang  I flipped my safety off Listen to that bang bang  I'm the man behind the smoking gun I'm the man who'll say he won Bang bang Yeah, I'm a little bit psycho Bet you like it when I bite though Ba-a-a-ang Ba-a-a-ang Bang Bang Bang Ba-a-a-ang Ba-a-a-ang Bang Bang Baaaaaaang 
It was a cannonball Now it's a boomerang  I flipped my safety off Listen to that bang bang  I'm the man behind the smoking gun I'm the man who'll say he won Bang bang 
 
 ROCK GOD You painted me these perfect skies Then you brought the overcast  With all your clouds of little white lies  Think it's funny how you formed the Conditions for the perfect storm  With a brush in your red hand  Then screamed when the lightning struck Right where you like to stand  I'm a tsunami  I'll drown you, baby I'm a tornado  I'll suck you up, baby I'm the thunder I'll fuck you up, baby I'm the lightning You're the lightning rod That's what happens When you fuck with a rock god  You painted me these greener pastures  Then used up all your yellow To create a sun so deadly  Dried up all the pretty land  Killed every flower I could've felt You were my one chance to Break down these walls Now I'll make your cold heart melt   I'm a tsunami  I'll drown you, baby I'm a tornado  I'll suck you up, baby I'm the thunder I'll fuck you up, baby I'm the lightning You're the lightning rod That's what happens When you fuck with a rock god  I'm the storm, storm, storm And I'm hanging over you I'm the rain, rain, rain And I'm pouring down on you I'm the hur-ri-ca-ane  And I'm spiraling right towards you I'm the rock rock rock god  And I'll never share the light with you I'm a tsunami  I'll drown you, baby I'm a tornado  I'll suck you up, baby I'm the thunder I'll fuck you up, baby I'm the lightning You're the lightning rod That's what happens When you fuck with a rock god  ‪BLUE DYNAMITE‬ ‪Confessions of a rockaholic‬ Doin' lines in the back of his Buick Can't find his wallet, that's because I threw it Don't blame me, percs made me do it Might be a cowboy But taught myself how to pharm Been busted twice Forgiven for my southern boy charm Now it's back to the backseat Back to the basement Did someone turn up the heat My face is on fire Told y'all I lost my voice Looks like I'm a liar How many more pills until I'm high? How many more pills until I die? How many more pills until I'm high? How many pills 'till I touch the sky? Another night, another fight Explosion of blue dynamite Got the same stream playing on a loop Pencil tips for pupils eying it up Like I'm seeing it for the first time Making a mark of my favorite parts That I won't even remember Three seconds from now Three seconds from never Will this deliriousness ever end My body is broken My mind is fucked My soul has left me Now I'm wide open Crying out to a god That I don't believe in To rescue me from this hell He does what I knew he'd do He left me here to die God, your love is a lie How many more pills until I'm high? How many more pills until I die? How many more pills until I'm high? How many pills 'till I touch the sky? Another night, another fight Explosion of blue dynamite Oh, the devil won't let me pray No, the devil won't let me pray Devil won't let me pray But lord knows I need a prayer today Oh, the devil won't let me pray No, the devil won't let me pray Devil won't let me pray Cuz he wants to take my soul away How many more pills until I'm high? How many more pills until I die? How many more pills until I'm high? How many pills 'till I touch the sky? Another night, another fight Explosion of blue dynamite APOCALYPTIC IMMINENT DEATH SONG He was strong He was hard World did him wrong So he lost his way Had to keep warm Too scared of suffocating With rubber wrapped around his head Found heat in darker places Warmth housed a plague Won't be long now Till he's dead One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Forces of death knocking at your door One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Letters make you feel like a dirty whore Too ashamed to be with someone Too scared to be alone Stabbed himself With a double edged sword Stared at the ground As his toxic blood poured Save him Lord He never knew your love Your people told him He never could Now he's dying Because he didn't take precautions That he should One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Forces of death knocking at your door One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Letters make you feel like a dirty whore Red ropes held his hands To a bed with a man Whose name he didn't know All for the sake of Scoring blow Now they'll wear Red ribbons to Remember him by Tell me Why Lord, why? One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Forces of death knocking at your door One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Letters make you feel like a dirty whore KING OF THE DAMNED God or gods or goddesses Whichever one of you saved me  Thank you for keeping me afloat  When I was drowning with a red hand Wrapped around my throat  Submerged myself for months on end Thought I'd forgotten how to swim Turns out I was still too scared to drown So instead of sinking to the bottom  I took the devil down  I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. Big Bang or Eclipse or Full Moon Whatever event put air in my lungs Thank you for reviving me When my veins were flooded With poison from a vile He gave it to me once, That wicked red man Told me it'd clear my head Well it flushed my bad thoughts Right into my blood Knew he'd come back for a sip Forgetting poison would be in it Every time it'd drip I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. I set Satan on fire! I killed the angel of death. I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. ©️CRC Entertainment / YM Records / CSJ Madhouse