#booking list

[norapotwora]

I've been pretty quiet for a while because I'm working on the projects I can't share just yet, but the time comes to my annual BOOKING LIST OPENING, which usually take place around October/November.

Tomorrow I will publish a post with google form in which you can find offered art types and base prices.

Slots will be limited!

[animentality]

kicking a hornets nest.

[atalana]

but seriously i do find it so funny that ford was like OH GOD MY PRECIOUS REPUTATION after bill possessed him around other people for all of one night

and then he gets back to this dimension after thirty years and this is now the photo the press associates with his name

[thorinds]

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

[lannegarrett]

Writing Advice:

1. Write what's in your heart

2. Wait, hold up

3. THIS is what's in your heart?

4. Dear god

5. Your poor characters.

6. Why is there so much blood and death?

[reclaiming-god]

thinking about this today

[specialagentartemis]

Also picking up new books you’ve never heard of before because the premise sounds neat or the cover is pretty or it’s on a themed library display or you’re just trying to read your library’s entire catalogue of 90s cyberpunk is just fun. Sometimes it’s not your thing but you get to mull over new ideas or the diversity of people and opinions and thoughts in the world. Sometimes you discover your new favorite book of all time

[lunarrosette]

I understand bill cipher bc if I fumbled Stanford pines I’d also start the apocalypse

[stormyskies-writes]

Forced Proximity Dialogue Prompts

Haven't done one of these in a while.

"Come on, this isn't funny." "I'm not joking. It's locked."

"Is that the only tent we have?"

"There's only one bed." "Well, darlin', I'm not sleeping on the floor, so I guess we'll have to share."

"I'm your bodyguard. It's in the job description to protect you at all times." "Well, could you at least 'protect' me from over there?"

"You have got to be kidding me. I have to share a room with you."

"What do you mean there's only one sleeping bag? You had one job."

"Quit following me!" "I was hired to follow you, princess, better get used to it."

"What the hell is that noise?" "Uh, yeah, slight problem. We're out of gas."

"Where are you going? We're in the middle of nowhere!" "Yeah! And whose fault is that?"

"Look around, love. In case you hadn't noticed we're snowed in. So unless you plan to freeze to death, we'll have to find a way to keep each other warm."

"I may be stuck with you, but I don't have to like it."

"Is now a bad time to tell you I'm claustrophobic?"

"Your heart's racing. Now, I know being pressed up against me is exhilerating and all, but I'm trying to concentrate on picking this lock."

"What are you? Afraid?"

"Uh. Slight problem. We're trapped."

"Well, which way, smartass?" "Uh. We might be lost."

[egophiliac]

idia was an absolute treasure this update. you agree.

Idia really went "time for me to be a hero! but in, like, a super meta way" and if that isn't incredibly in-character then what is.

and of course we can't forget

I kinda hope he and Riddle get to do another game jam again sometime! it's nice to see them get along! and now they have, inexplicably...shared skills and interests???

[doctorsiren]

“It would eat you alive, Sixer”

(Available as a print on my Etsy shop)

[muffinlance]

I appreciate the lovely science museum volunteer who saw my four-year-old and started carefully explaining basic magnetic properties

I appreciate EVEN MORE that when firstborn went "oh, like a maglev train" and "that's an electromagnet!", said lovely volunteer totally code-switched, and we quickly ended up at

"Want to see a gaussian rifle?"

Oh boy did firstborn EVER

[teaandspite]

The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 1)

Context: For many years now, I have been collecting funny lines from Goodreads reviews to share with my coworkers. (I do collection development, reader's advisory, and weeding at a public library, so I read a LOT of reviews)

Are some of these, perhaps, rather mean? Yes, but they are also very funny, and come from a place of honest frustration. In the tradition of Bargepole threads and lists everywhere, names and titles have been censored.

"First, I want to say that I understand how hard it is to write a book and how amazing it is when it is actually published. Congrats to the author for that accomplishment. That said--"

"Warning: This review will be lengthy due to pure hatred."

"I found myself feeling really, really annoyed with the world that this book is allowed to exist. We live in a universe where the passenger pigeon is extinct but this book goes along merrily being read by unsuspecting lovers of words and ideas and stories? It just seems like too much, you know?"

"Don't do it. Don't spring the cash for the hardcover. Instead, eat an entire bag of Twizzlers, spend some money you don't have at a high-end department store, look up on Facebook the shady college boyfriend that made you cry, research the current value of your home or 401K and then read all about how the big hedge fund managers are faring during the economic crisis. You'll feel about the same stomach pain if you waste your time reading this book."

"This wretched novel begins with the mugging of an old lady and it appears I may be in the process of repeating that loathsome crime as [author] was 78 when she wrote it. It is not nice to put the boot into such a poor defenseless old creature lying there with only a damehood, a Booker Prize and a few million quid. It’s a nasty job but somebody has to do it."

"I think this is the way dead people would write, if they could."

"I am considering setting up SPABB: Society for the Protection of Accurate Book Blurb. This blurb appears to have been written by someone from the publishers who met [the author] the night before, got very drunk, lost his notes and then constructed something in a fug of hangover the next morning."

"I congratulate [the author] on the early half of his book, which was thoroughly fun and made me laugh and think. I congratulate [the author] on the second half of his book, for finishing it. It reads like that was difficult."

"…a woman whose taste in contemporary literature has roughly the same batting average as a pitcher in the National League."

"The author is a pompous windbag."

"Recommends it for: No one. Recommended to me by: A friend who apparently wished to cause me great suffering."

"Makes me wonder: is it possible to obtain similes at a volume discount?"

"The repeated phrases made me want to mail a thesaurus to the author."

"I'm disappointed in myself for finishing this book."

"if the author described [character's] eyes as "obsidian" one more time I was tempted to write her and ask if her thesaurus broke."

"They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, if given infinite time, eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. [This book], on the other hand, would probably take the average monkey just under two hours."

"I can't imagine what the author had to do to get this nadir of Western literature printed on innocent trees, but he does seem to know a LOT about being well-connected in New York."

"This book is so bad it is almost worth reading just to make you appreciate the other books you are reading."

"Reads like it was written by a brilliant author, the night before it was due."

"raises interesting questions, like: can a book be so bad as to constitute an act of terrorism"

"has this author ever spoken to a human woman"

"This acorn has fallen so far from the tree that it can’t even see the forest."

"I’m guessing they are touted as ‘beach reads’ because no one will care if they get dropped into the ocean."

"This book begins with all the energy of a hand vacuum near the end of its battery life, and the pace doesn't quicken much from there."

"At least everybody’s eyes stayed the same color this time around.”

Part 2

Part 3

[seasicksilver]

reading the Iliad is an experience

[shallowcloudz]

Kind of ironic how one of Xie Lian's titles is "The god-pleasing crown prince" when the one thing he does consistently without fail is piss off the Heavenly Emperor.

[deoidesign]

sleeping beauty (available in print!)