#book recs on her bc why not

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

I'm sorry but "Sappho wannabe" is the BEST first impression I've had of anyone ever

Thanks! And is 100% true.

I’m obsessed with her, she’s actually my favorite writer.

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT,

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!

So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)

I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.

[johnnyy-guitarr]

( vaguely ) rambling about lego endurance under the cut lol

when i went to the lego store in person i talked to a guy who worked there about how excited i was about endurance and he told me i was the first person he knew who had expressed interest in it and i felt SO proud and so cool honestly . i wish i could tell him i got it ! and the lifeboat too ! bc he's a big part of the reason i was there online immediately when it dropped, he told me they go so fast and i was like oh shit okay and waited in the fucking queue and spent 45+ minutes in a panic trying to get her but i don't actually live near the store so i can't tell him and i'm so unnecessarily bummed about it . please mister lego store employee i know you'll never see this but i hope somehow you know i got her anyway 🙏

[neonsbian]

reading this book that someone in my writers group recced me bc they said it reminded them of the novel im working on and uh....these characters need stop talking abt twilight before i kill myself

[vanhelsingapologist]

how's the weezer-taylor swift fusion goin?

well it wasn’t worse than raditude so it has that going for it. but! being slowly pressed to death by puritains from salem massachusetts is a better experience than listening to raditude so that’s where I’m at.

[xespa]

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY ✶ YU JIMIN 🗯️

⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝖥𝖤𝖠𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 karina x fem reader ⋅ 𝖶𝖮𝖱𝖣 𝖢𝖮𝖴𝖭𝖳 1,616 words ⋅ 𝖦𝖤𝖭𝖱𝖤/𝖳𝖠𝖦𝖲 dom!reader, college au, angst, explicit smut, sub!karina

𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲 ⟳ reader gets overly jealous and is hella mean, rough sex, fingering, oral (f. rec), degrading, dacryphilia

[ 𝖠𝖴𝖳𝖧𝖮𝖱’𝖲 𝖭𝖮𝖳𝖤 ] — new fic out yasss !! i’m not 100% sure how i feel about this bc i was slightly drunk when writing most of this so if it’s kinda ass i’m sorry- LOL, but i’m down bad once again and need to top karina sososo badly 😣

The harsh click of your mary-jane heels echo through the corridors as you made your way to the library, pushing open the door to look for your girlfriend. Instinctually, your gaze shot to the rental counter she works at. Today was no different, she was there as usual— talking to some blonde girl who stood far too close for comfort. Jimin twirled her dark hair between her fingers, leaning forward to hear what she was saying, her tits practically spilling out of the top from how low-cut it was. Your jaw tightens, feeling your heart clenching in your chest as you watch the situation unfold.

What the fuck is she doing? It was clear to you that she was flirting, she even set her hand on hers when handing the book over. Why wasn’t she pushing her away? Screaming at her that she isn’t interested and has a girlfriend? The fact she’s even entertaining this was enough to set you off— and you’re going to make her pay the consequences the minute this bitch leaves.

You watched from the doorway silently, filled with nothing but rage and disgust; not only with that girl who’s trying to make a pass at Jimin, but more so with your own girlfriend who’s doing everything but being loyal towards you. You were thinking of all different kinds of ways you could punish her for this. How badly you wanted to bruise her ass, spank her until you have her dripping wet for you, and then shoving your digits into her tight cunt, fucking her with your fingers until her stupid little hole is sore and her cunt is clenching for no one but you. There’s no way she’s getting out of this without crying— that was only the bare minimum of what you wanted in return.

After a couple minutes of more flirtatious banter, the girl finally gathered her things and left, pushing past you as she heads towards the exit. Your fists clenched when her shoulder brushed up against yours, taking all your strength not to haul off and shove her into the wall. Teeth nearly cracking with the force of your grinding, you stomped towards the counter your girlfriend was still seated at, throwing your arms up as you reached Jimin.

“What the hell was all that?” Your voice was venomous although quiet, and she visibly flinched at your tone.

“Huh?” Her brows knit together, head tilting to the side innocently. You almost couldn’t stay pissed. Almost.

“You were basically throwing yourself at that girl, are you a fucking slut now or something?” Jimin’s eyes shot open, mouth agape. Her head shook vehemently, and she flipped the ‘Away’ sign down, rushing to your side of the counter.

“What’s going on?” Her voice low as she reached down to grab you. You ripped your hands away, glaring at her with daggers in your eyes. Her face was a mask of confusion and something else, something you couldn’t really identify.

“What’s going on is that I came in here to fucking check on my girlfriend and I see her whoring herself out to some random chick!” Jimin raises her eyebrows, an imperceptible smile playing at her lips.

“What…?” She muses, poking your shoulder playfully, “are you jealous or something?”

“You think this is a joke?” Your chest bumped into hers as you walked closer, backing her into the counter. You trapped her there with your hands on either side of her body. The library was empty, as it usually was after school— so you didn’t hesitate as you dove in, biting at the crook of her neck.

“You were practically begging her to fuck you,” you whispered into her skin, “I can make you beg for me harder.” Jimin let out a soft whine, her back arching softly. Bites trailed up her neck, teeth grazing her earlobe. Your hands moved to cradle her hips, bunching her skirt up in your grip. Trailing up her body, you tweaked the hardening nipples underneath her sweater.

“You want me to touch you, don’t you?” You purred, low and seductive. Your fingers rubbed circles over her sensitive buds. Jimin pushed into your hands, soft, sweet noises escaping her parted lips. She bobbed her head almost aggressively in agreement.

“Then show me how sorry you are.” Your tone was cold and unforgiving as you put your hand atop her head and harshly shoved her down to your feet. She gazes up at you with big, brown doe eyes and a pout. Putting one foot on top of the counter, you pulled your panties to the side, your short skirt leaving you fully on display. Jimin was practically drooling already. You nod expectantly to the floor in front of you, and she obediently crawled to you like an obedient lapdog. Propping herself up on the dingy carpet, she promptly shoved her face under your skirt— mouth buried firmly in your cunt.

Letting out a satisfied groan, you gripped her black hair in your fist, pulling her into you harder. Her tongue lapped at your juices with greedy enthusiasm. The wet sounds of her slurping filled the library, your head lulling back as you rested your elbow on your knee for stability, knees nearly buckling underneath you. Jimin moaned softly into your folds, slick dripping down her chin. Her tongue felt incredible, licking at your pussy with unbridled eagerness. Tightening your hold on her hair, you guide her head up and down.

“You’re such a fucking slut, Jimin...” you hissed, biting the inside of your cheek. You spread your legs wider, giving her full access to your swollen cunt. Jimin drew your clit in between her lips, sucking softly. Head falling back, a guttural groan of pure pleasure left your throat. Your legs started to tremble, threatening to give out underneath you. You rode her tongue, hips bucking wildly against her eager mouth. She moaned into your core as your fluids spilled out over her tongue, soaking her face.

You pushed her back roughly by the forehead, sending her sprawling out onto the floor. Her chest heaved, cheeks flushed as she tried to regain her composure. Her face was coated with a generous layer of your slick, eyes glazed over with a lustful haze. Shifting your foot off the counter, you pinned her down by the chest, heel holding her to the floor. She licked her lips, savoring the taste of you as she gazed up at you with blown out pupils. She looked like an animal in heat.

“Please…” She whispered, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, ‘m so sorry…” Her plea came out more like a pathetic whine. A pout fell over your lips, brows furrowed sympathetically.

“Aww…” you cooed, condescension dripping from your tone. “I guess I could forgive you…” your foot pressed harder into the center of her breasts. “But where’s the fun in that?” You dug in more, the heel of your shoe boring into her chest and eliciting a soft whimper from her throat. Releasing your weight, you reached down, pulling her to her feet by the collar of her shirt. Flipping her around, you pushed her against the counter hard enough for her to release a soft ‘oof’. You forced her upper body down, pressing her cheek into the polished surface. One hand kept her pinned down by the face as the other flipped up the back of her skirt.

You didn’t give her any chance to recover, forcing her wet panties to the side to reveal her glistening slit. Your movements were deft as you gripped her ass hard enough to leave a bruise. Soft whines fell from her lips, distorted by her face being forced into the counter.

“Spread. Don’t make me do all the work.” You spat harshly, nails digging into her scalp as you held her head in place. Her trembling hands reached behind her body to spread her soft flesh, exposing herself to you further. An instinctual growl left your chest as two fingers prodded against her pulsing core. Pressing deeper, her warm wetness enveloped you, squeezing your digits. Jimin let out a muffled moan, pushing back against your hand. Your hand moved in a slow, deliberate motion, taunting her with every aching curl of your fingers. She rocked against you, digging into her own skin.

Her body trembled beneath your touch, each thrust forcing a pathetic mewl from her mouth. You increased the tempo, digging into her g-spot with every movement. You could feel the heat radiating off her cunt, warm center clenching around your digits. Jimin’s body tensed beneath you, legs quivering with each plunge of your hand inside her. Her arousal spilled over your hand, a wet spot forming on the carpet beneath where she stood. An increasingly loud string of subdued cries left her as she slumped against the counter, hands falling from her backside to hold herself up. Before she even has time to recover, you’re grabbing her by the waist and flipping her around. You come face to face with a very flustered Jimin, cheeks red, watery streaks of mascara staining them from crying, and hair sticking to her sweaty forehead.

Grabbing her chin, you look her square in the eyes. You take a second to brush the loose strands of hair from her eyes, your expression firm.

“Don’t ever fuck with me like that again,” your grip on her chin was tight, hard enough to hurt. She swallowed thickly, sucking in her bottom lip between her teeth as a flush creeped up her neck. “Got it?” Jimin nodded vehemently, gaze fixed on yours. You worried to yourself though, that the nature of her punishment would lead her to possibly re-offending.

[dream-with-a-fever]

What is your favourite hinny fict of all time?

ooh this is a great question!!! several come to mind, because there are some really incredible writers out there who i think capture harry and ginny perfectly in their writing. and i can’t pick one so here goes:

Orchards by @whinlatter

this oneshot is incredible, building up hinny’s relationship over the summer that we see so little of in the books. it’s just so in character, funny and beautiful. you really see their easy dynamic and how perfect they are for each other. i’ve reread it several times and i will do it again it’s THAT good. also her other work Beasts about post-dh ginny and everything that follows the war with lots of flashbacks and added details. it’s really honest and gritty portrayal of grief & recovering from the trauma of a war

The Path From You by @takeariskao3

i am obsessed with this fic. it’s wonderful bc it has all the canon elements but it’s set a few years after the war, and the main plot is completely fresh and new. it’s like a harry x ginny second chance romance, harry is super protective and they’re both like still so in love with each other it’s ughhh *chefs kiss*! it’s so well-written too. i LOVE it.

quick-fire and warm front by @jiilys

these are two oneshots that i think perfectly capture hinny’s relationship after the war. the writing is just beautiful.

Come Stay for The Summer by @ashotofogdensoldfirewhiskey

this is such a fun and hilarious text-fic. i’m such a fan of hinny in a different universe, like regular high school / soccer fics. just another fun exploration of their relationship. also basically any of the oneshots by this author are so good.

Bewitched by @starlingflight (apologies for tagging the wrong author!!!)

i loved this fic so much. such an orignal concept — it’s mainly a non-magical storyline but with a twist. loved the characterisations and the non-linear format. so cute and fun and the ending is perfect.! also this author has lots of other wonderful works.

FloreatCastellum on ao3 is also wonderful - their missing moments works are so on point.

i also might take this opportunity to self-rec my fic too (lmao sorry) which is-

but i’m a fire, and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm by me hehe

it’s a fic about the beginning and blossoming friendship of harry & ginny during order of the phoenix. basically missing moments and build up to explore how and why these two eventually end up together !

but i am always looking for more fics to read so pls give me recs!!<3

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I’m trying not to be an annoying pre med anymore bc I realize I babble about that a lot on here but also this job is the cutest thing that happened to me bc why did a patient literally leave her book recs for me on a napkin after we talked ab the book she was holding

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 20

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

farm to table by @buoyantsaturn*

“There’s another group of kids here,” she said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. “Said they’re looking for the Ghost King.”

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SERIES. NO WORD OF A LIE IM OBSESSED. i got an ask a couple weeks ago on what i see will & nico doing in their futures and i havent answered it yet BUT this series in particular is never what i would have thought for them and yet it fully and completely convinced me. i love the way their relationship is portrayed here, i love the nuances about will's gender, i love them figuring adult demigodhood out! i love the solace family! this series is another one of those stories that i think back to when im writing bc it's so spectacularly done

2. hopeless case by @restinreesespieces

“Nico,” Jason wheezes as he slams the door to the Hades cabin open. “Nico, I think I’m in love with my best friend.” “No, really?” Nico drawls, barely looking up from his book. Or: in which nico is jason’s wingman this time around.

i was sold on the 'jason is a disaster. nico is also a disaster but more subtle about it' like that SENT me 😭😭 such an apt description of their friendship. and leo wearing crop tops bc there's less clothes to burn and jason losing his mind over it is so real and true

3. seize the day by @restinreesespieces

“-Hey, Jason? Are you okay?” “No,” Jason snaps. “You’re distracting me.” Silence. Leo comes forward. Jason’s back digs into the wooden edge of the table. “I’m distracting you?” Leo’s hand twitches, like he’s not sure where to put it. It lingers in the air between them, making a choice. Instead of a friendly shoulder pat or slap on the back, Jason’s fingers are met with the familiar warmth and completion of Leo’s. Their hands interlock, sliding into place as they’ve done so many times before under the cover of darkness. But this time there’s light, and they can’t escape the bright truth that it brings. “How, exactly, am I distracting you?" or: valgrace dead poets society au (with a happy ending)

this fic was so FUN like jason in theatre....ur so absolutely right. loved loved this story it was such a delight to read like who cares about reality what if everyone is gay at whatever time period we wish forever

4. crush the size of jupiter by @restinreesespieces

“Aw,” he joked. “And here I thought we had a connection.” “Yeah, maybe that’s because we’re tied at the ankle, Solace.” Or: In which Nico thinks he can ignore his budding feelings for a certain son of Apollo, and fate decides otherwise.

the flower symbolism had me GAAAAGGGGEED and nico going oh. oh, no had me CLUTCHING MY CHEST SHDNSJDNS. WHY IS HE SUCH A MESS

5. stars on my skin by @restinreesespieces

“Will,” he says, “I think you’re being silly.” “What?” Will tries to hide his confusion, and Nico rolls his eyes. “You’re being silly,” he repeats. “I told you your bedside manner is okay. So why don’t you believe it? Do you think I’m a liar?” “No! I just-” “Hmph,” he huffs, pretending to be miffed. “I think you’re afraid of nothing. Nobody’s gonna be mad if you’re a little enthusiastic about healing them. That means you want to save them! That’s what heroes do.” “I’m - I’m a healer,” he says quietly. “Yeah,” Nico replies. “Isn’t that what I said?” or: after the quest group to rescue annabeth leaves camp, a ten-year-old nico winds up in the infirmary and meets will for the first time.

BABY SOLANGELO BABY SOLANGELO BABY SOLANGELO IM LOSING MY MIND WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS GOOD AND EASY WHAT IF THE WORLD WAS KIND TO THEM

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[writtenbyan-aries]

hello!!!! This is actually my first time asking and like I would want to stay anon bc why not?? HAAHAHHAHAHA but anyways my question is like if it's okay for you to make san golbach smut?? The plot could be about friends to lovers or enemies to lovers, it's fine either way. I hope you receive this thank you!

∶ Summary: reader lets not telling Sam about her feelings get the best of them

∶ Warnings: smut, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, best friend!Sam, hiding feelings, slight fighting, kissing, unprotected sex, oral (m rec), angsty with a fluff ending

∶ Word Count: 3.9k

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

You made your way down the street, clicking the lock button on your key fob as you made your way towards the coffee shop.

As you reach for the doors, your phone rings, “Hello?”

“Did you stop for coffee yet?” Colby asks on the other end and you step back from the doors, “Are you stalking my location?”

“No.” He laughs, “I just know that that’s a routine for you. Anyway, can you get me a coffee?”

You laugh, letting out a sigh, “what do you want?”

“Just get what you get.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in a few.” You hang up and walk in, smiling at the barista as you make your way towards the counter, “Hi, can I get two large iced vanilla lattes please?”

“Anything else?”

You shake your head, “No, that’s everything.” You pay and make your way down to the end. As you’re standing there, you text Colby, Sam didn’t want anything?

Colby replies rather quickly, Sam isn’t here yet. He was meeting a girl for coffee.

As soon as you read Colby’s texts, that familiar laugh cuts right through you. You didn’t look, you already knew. You stay focused, tapping out a reply, Oh, really? I didn’t know he was seeing anyone.

You were hoping your slight jealous disappointment wasn’t able to be read, partly why you didn’t want to look at Sam. He could read you from a mile away.

You were fighting yourself not to look. You hoped and prayed that the barista didn’t call out your name, but you just weren’t that lucky today.

“Order for y/n.”

“Yeah, that’s me. Thanks.” You gave her a quick smile, grabbing the cups before turning to walk away. You lost your battle, looking over at the table and Sam was already looking.

You looked away, quickly making your way towards the door and down the sidewalk to your car. You set your coffee on the roof, dragging your keys from your pocket and unlocking the car.

You grabbed the coffee, got in, and drove away, all while your mind was racing.

Sam was one of your best friends, like best friend. You go way back to elementary school together. Same with Colby, but the only thing is, you didn’t have this load of feelings for Colby.

Just Sam.

For the last few year, it’s been an ongoing battle for you. You wanted to tell him, but a part of you was always telling you no, it’s a bad idea.

So, you sat on them, and sat on them, and now, thanks to you not taking a risk, it looks like you need to just let go of everything.

You were too late.

As you pull into the driveway, you let out a sigh. You grab the two cups of coffee and make your way inside.

“Here you go. One basic iced latte.” You laugh slightly, handing Colby the drink, “Oh, Sam already got coffee.”

That came out way bitchier than intended.

Colby just stares at you, “Um, okay?”

“He was at the coffee shop with a pretty blonde.” You force your drink to your lips so you stop talking, sipping and sipping until Colby breaks the silence, “It’s sounds like you’re jealous, y/n.”

“Jealous? Over what?” You walk over and sit down on the couch, “I have nothing to be jealous over.”

“You’re like..” Colby walks over, “An open book right now.” He sits down, “And judging by the tone of your voice, you hated seeing Sam sitting with that pretty blonde.”

“I’m happy for him.” You look at Colby, keeping your face as straight as possible, “I promise you.”

He flicks his brows up, humming as he brings his cup to his lips, “Mm.” He chuckles, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, so.” He points, “Did those people answer your emails?”

You were silently thanking Colby for changing the subject.

“Three got back to me. The other four did not.” You shuffle through your notebook, “The Greenridge Hotel said yes, the old campground owner said yes, and the owner of The Stanley would love to have you guys back.” You look at Colby, “Do you want me to email them back with dates that work for you?”

He nods, “Yeah. You can also add-“ He glances back as the door opens, “Hey, just in time.”

“How many do we have?” Sam asks as he walks over, sitting down next to you on the couch. You stay quiet, handing him your note book, “I’m going to go email these people back.”

You stand up, making your way out to the kitchen. You set your computer on the counter, walking over to grab a drink from the fridge before sitting on the stool. As you’re typing, you notice Sam walk in, but you don’t acknowledge him. You keep tapping the keys on the keyboard.

“So I seen you were at the coffee shop today.”

“What days work for you again this month? It’s for the Greenridge Hotel.” You look over at him and he furrows his brows, “Um, second to last week, any of those days.”

You nod, returning your focus back on the email in front of you.

“Are you not going to acknowledge the fact-“

“Sam.” You sigh, “I’m trying to type up this email.”

He raises his brows, taken aback by your sudden lash, “oh..Kay.. sorry, I’ll just-“ he motions to the door and walks out.

As soon as he’s gone, you let out a sigh, shaking your head before finalizing the email. You move on to the second, and get an email from one of the four you were waiting on. You grab your laptop, walking back in, “Hey. That place you were hoping would answer, answered.”

“The old school?” Colby looks around, “No way.”

You nod, walking over, “Yeah, they said the only time someone can be there is next month on the twentieth.”

“Tell them we’ll be there.” Colby nods and you sit down on the chair, working on typing out the email.

“Did anyone else answer, or was it just the three, well, now four?” Sam asks and you nod, “Just the four.”

You glance up at Colby, “They attached a number to the email if you want it?” He nods, “Just forward the whole thing to me, would you?” You nod, clicking a few times, “Sent.”

His phone beeps and he nods, “Got it. I’m going to call them now, just because this is the one we were really hoping to get the okay for.”

You swallow, giving him a nod as you look back down at your laptop.

You finish up with the third email, then you were just randomly reading emails. Anything to not give your attention to Sam.

You were all over the place. Mad, sad, disappointed, jealous.

You felt partly mad at yourself because you didn’t say anything, but then again, you were partly mad at him, he should have known you liked him, right? He knows you well enough.

Another part felt like you could burst into tears because you were upset he was with someone other than you, and him looking at you, made it hard not to.

“Are you coming with us next week?”

Will it be okay with your girlfriend, is what you really wanted to ask, but you bit it back, giving him a shrug instead, “If you really need me to, I will.”

“What’s going on with you?”

You look up at him, “Nothing?”

He furrows his brows, “Really? Because ever since-“

“We got the school.” Colby walks back in, “They’re going to let us stay for two nights.” Sam raises his brows, “That’s awesome, dude. Fuck. That’s- that’s going to be intense.”

You smile at Colby, “Yeah, that’ll be really good for the channel. People like when you sleep over at haunted places.”

“You’re doing that video with us, right?” Colby asks and you scoff, “You’re insane.”

“What? Come on!” Colby sits down on the couch, “Picture it. We’re asleep in one of the classrooms, and your blanket just gets ripped away and you hear laughing in the hallway.”

“Fuck you. That-“ you shiver, “That gave me chills.”

Colby laughs, “has anyone else responded yet?”

You shake your head, “Not yet. But you’ll be the first to know if they do.”

He sighs, “Good. So let’s go get some lunch.”

“I’m down.” Sam nods, and you check your phone, “I actually have to go meet my mom. I’ll check in with you later, yeah?” You stand up, grabbing your bag to pack your stuff away.

Sam hands you your notebook and you take it, not giving him another look.

“Oh, Sam. How’d your date go?”

Colby’s words make you want to puke.

“It went actually good, really good.” Sam sighs, “She said about being in one of the videos. I told her I’ll talk with you to see about which one you wanted her in.”

“I’ll see you guys later.” You walk away without another look back. You walk out to your car and that’s the last time you spoken to either of them in two days.

You stayed home. Ignored your phone, most of the time at least.

Every now and then, when it would vibrate with an incoming call, you’d check to make sure it wasn’t someone you actually didn’t mind talking to, but most of the time, it was just Sam or Colby.

You would text Colby back, telling him you were lying down with a migraine or something. He called bullshit, but you didn’t feel like arguing so you just left it on read.

Sam seeing someone actually sat with you the wrong way.

You hated it.

You hated him, well, not really, but you wish you could hate him. It would be easier, you wouldn’t have to fake everything each time you saw him.

Your phone buzzes with a notification, Your driver, Mabel, is delivering your pizza. As you set your phone down, there’s a knock on your door.

You open the door, your smile dropping as soon as your eyes meet Sam’s, “How did you get that?” You point to the box and he shrugs, “Don’t worry, I tipped her.” He nods, “Can I come in, please?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to know why you’ve been, not only avoiding me, but Colby for the last two days. You don’t look sick to me.”

“I haven’t been avoiding you. I woke up this morning feeling better, now can I-“ you reach for the pizza and Sam turns it away, “Let me in, and you can have your pizza.”

You clench your jaw, taking in a deep breath as you turn and walk away from the open door.

“Thank you.” Sam sighs, walking in before closing the door, “So, are you going to answer my question?”

“You didn’t ask me a question.” You grab plates from the cabinet and set them down on the counter, “You more or less made a statement.” You glance up at him as you slide the box over to you.

You get out a piece of pizza for you and lean on the counter as you take a bite.

“Oh okay, let me rephrase that then.” Sam clears his throat as he slides the box back over to him, “Why have you been, not only avoiding me, but Colby as well?”

You shrug, “I told you, I’ve been sick.”

“Liar.”

You scoff, raising your brows, “Excuse me.”

“You heard me.” Sam raises his brows, “I know you, y/n, and I know there’s something going on with you.”

“What make you-“

He cuts you off, “For one, you won’t fully look at me. And two, the way you treated me two days ago. You’ve never ignored me, or told me you were trying to work, and if you have, you were always laughing while saying it.”

“People change, Sam.” You shrug, tossing your pizza down on the plate, “If you know me so well, then you should probably already know what’s wrong, right?”

“So you admit there’s something wrong?”

“No, I just- is your girlfriend going to be okay with the fact that you’re at my house at ten o’clock at night?”

He smirks, “Hmm.”

“What?”

“There it is.”

“There’s what?” You stand up, hands slapping against your thighs, “If you think-“

“Say it.”

“I don’t have anything to say.” You shake your head Sam presses his hands onto the counter, “Yes you do.”

“What do you want me to say?” You stare at him and he tilts his head, “Why your face dropped when you saw me sitting there with her. Why you rushed out of there so fast when normally you wouldn’t have any issue coming up to me and saying hi, I mean. We are best friends, are we not?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” You lean forward, hips pressing into the counter up, arms crossing over your chest, “If you think I have an issue with you being with her, you’re mistaken. I couldn’t be more happy for you.”

“Then why did you shoot me down when I brought up seeing you there the other day?” He tilts his head, “Why’d you rush out of my house so fast when Colby asked how my date went? Which, I can tell you how it went, since you left without hearing my side of it.”

“Please, Sam. Enlighten me.” You tone dripping with agitation, now you want to realize how much I care about him, you think as you keep your eyes on his, “I’d love to hear how well your date went.”

“Do you even care?”

You jerk your head back, taken aback by his words, “Um, what makes you think I don’t care?”

“You’re tone. It’s like you’d rather be anywhere other than right here.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes. You were fighting that word vomit back so hard, but it was getting too close to the top, “Just- if you’re happy. I’m happy. Isn’t that what friends do. Push down how they actually feel for the people they really and truly care about?”

“Tell me how you really feel.” His words were soft, almost like he was pulling the knife from your chest instead of shoving it in deep, “Please.”

Your face relaxes and your heart starts beating faster, if there was a time for your word vomit to spew, now is that time.

“You want me to tell you how I really feel?” You swallow, not even giving him the change to answer, “No one is ever going to be good enough for you Sam, and by that, I mean no matter who you talk to, who you go one dates with, to me, I don’t think they’ll ever be good enough for you because they won’t ever be able to love you like I love you.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell me that?” He tilts his head, and you shrug, “I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same about me. I got so mad, because I partly felt like you should’ve have known but then I know that that shouldn’t be on you. It was a mental battle every day and I just- I hated seeing you with her. I hated hearing Colby ask you how the date went. My feelings are just.. so up there that I hate the thought of you being with anyone else but me.”

He taps the counter a few times before taking a deep breath, “When I saw you at the coffee shop and seen your face drop, I ended things with her then and there.”

“You.. you what?” You shake your head, “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I tried!” He laughs, “When I said about seeing you at the shop, but that’s when you went all, Sam, I’m working leave me the fuck alone, on me.”

You hold up a finger, “One, I didn’t say that, and two, I don’t sound like that.”

“Are we going to argue about my impression of you, or are you going to come over here so I can kiss you?”

You try to fight back a smirk, but fail as you walk over to him. He turns his body to face you, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek, “I’m sorry I’m an idiot.”

“We can talk about that later.” You pull him in, your lips smashing onto his. His other hand grips your hip, pushing you to spin towards the counter.

The kiss depends, growing hotter by the second.

He bends down, lifting you up to set you onto the cool surface. He pulls you to the edge as he leans in. You lean back, using your hand to hold yourself up, while your other lays on his cheek.

He kisses down your neck, “I’ve been dreaming of the day you’d let me touch you like this.”

You let out a small whimper as his teeth sink into your skin, “Yeah.” You breathe out, “Tell me about it.”

He slides his hand up, pulling you back in for another kiss. Your legs wrap around his waist, fighting as your hand slides around to tangle in his hair.

He pulls you from the counter, walking back to your bedroom.

He lays you down on the bed, his lips trailing down to your neck. His hands snake under your shirt, pushing it up before skipping over the bunched up fabric to kiss down between your boobs.

He sits up, reaching down to pull his shirt up over his body. His eyes are fixated on you as sit up, your shirt revealing the skin he can’t wait to have his lips on.

You reach down, pushing down your sweats and he reaches down to pull them the rest of the way down your legs.

He falls forward, his hands catching himself on either side of your head, “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world to me.”

You smile, lifting your head to close the space.

He shifts his weight to his forearm as his other hand drags down your side. His grip tightens on your hip as your legs pull him into you.

A small moan leaves your lips and slips between his as he grinds against you.

You drag your nails down his chest, pushing him to roll over. You follow, straddling his waist as you reconnect your lips. You trail down, kissing down his chest, torso, and stopping at the top of his pants.

Your fingers drag up his thighs to slip into the waistband, and he willingly lifts his hips, watching as you shrug them down.

You don’t hesitate, leaning in to wrap your lips around the tip, which earns a gasp, “Fuck.” He lets out a shaky breath as you work your head down, tongue swirling to make his cock slick.

You bob your head a few times, earning groan after groan from him before sitting up. You move up, and before you can reach down, Sam beats you to it. He pushes and holds your panties to the side and you sink down onto him.

Your hands press into his abdomen.

Your lips part to allow a loud moan to flood through them.

Your head tilts back and you gasp, snapping your head down to look at him as he bucks his hips up slightly.

His eyes are on yours, his brows furrows with pleasure as he takes in feeling you wrapped around him in a way he’s only ever dreamed of.

You slowly rise up, head tilting forward as you sink back down. You repeat those actions, only a few times, before Sam pulls you down for a kiss. Your lips move with his as you quicken the pace of your hips.

His hands slide around to your ass, gripping tightly to guide them up and down, “Doing so good.” He whispers, “Fuck.”

He bucks upward, earning a louder moan from you, “Feels-feels so good.” You bury your face into his neck, moaning repeatedly as you slam your hips down to meet his.

You lift your head, pressing kissing into his neck as you move back up to his lips. He wraps an arm around your waist, rolling you over so you both are on your sides.

Your leg lays over his waist, hand sliding up to tangle into his hair as he takes over thrusting.

He holds you close, his forehead resting on yours, “Fuck, baby.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, moans spilling from his lips, “You feel so fucking good.”

His lips crash onto yours as he rolls over to fully be on top of you. His thrusts grow harder, your moans grow louder.

“S-Sam.” You whine, “F-fuck don’t stop.”

Your back lifts from the bed as your nails sink into his biceps, “F-fuck, fuck, yesyesyes.” Your legs tighten around his waist as your walls pulsate around him, indicating that you were right there.

He lean in, kissing and sucking a mark into your neck, and that sends you right into the pool of pleasure.

Your moans fill your bedroom, your nails leave red streaks across his back as they slide up to tangle into his hair. You turn your head, crashing your lips onto his and he swallows each of your moans with ease.

“You sound so pretty, holy fuck.” He groans, “I love making you sound like that.”

Without another thought, “I love you.”

Sam lifts his head up, his hand coming to caress your cheek, “I love you.” He presses his lips to yours, his thrusts slowing down.

He holds your face, lips slowly moving with yours as he thrusts into you at a slow pace, “You mean everything to me. I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”

“It’s okay, Sam.” You press your lips to his, a small moan leaving your lips, “I have you now.” You wrap your arm around his neck, gasping as he thrusts into you deep.

He presses a few kiss to yours face before picking up the pace of his thrust. You feel them growing slipping and he pulls out, spilling onto your waist. You rest your head back, looking up at him with a smile.

He smiles down at you, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead, “Be right back.” He gets off, moving to grab a towel before coming back to wipe you off.

He tosses the towel down and moves to lay next to you. He pulls the comforter up your bodies and pulls you into him. He presses a kiss to your head and lets out a sigh, “So does this mean you’re coming to spend the night in the haunted school with us?”

“As long as I don’t have to sleep alone.”

He laughs, tightening his arms around you, “Never.”

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Thank you so much for reading! I love you all so much! I will catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[girlsdogmotif]

HIII!!! YOUR ONE SHOTS ARE SO COOOOL!! LOVE THEM <3333 are you planning on writing series or books? IM SURE THEY COULD BE STUNNING!! Also I saw your recs and THEY ARE SOMETHING 100% MY TASTE, if you cam give me some recs? Preferably if the main characters are males? I don't mind either way tho!! Thank you very much. <3

AHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I really need to finish the few one shots I've started and post them because people are actually reading them ! which is crazy ! but makes me very very happy :)

I would definitely be interested in writing some series, once I think of some characters or a rough plot I might try it out, but in the meantime I would also love to continue any one shots I post if people are interested 👀

For my recommendations (which is why this took me a while to get back to apologies):

(also you might have already seen the first few bc I can't stop telling people to read them!!)

@whumblr The "Home is Where the Hurt" series is one of the BEST stories on this app and has the best whump, if you haven't read it yet GO READ, and also "Crossed Out", the main whumpees and whumpers are male in both those series; but I also can't go through a whump rec post without recommending their other series Bookish!

@chaotic-orphan another blog I can't recommend enough, i'm literally part of the #notifcationsquad I'm obsessed with Intoxicating Fear, Vendetta, Defiant Leader x confident villain, Partners in Crime, and everything else as well, Heroic Betrayal is also my ALL TIME fav and features my one of my fav female whumpee Morgan <3 all the stories are somehow both funny and heart wrenching at the same time and I feel like I'm watching a movie every time I read them

@there-will-always-be-blood I talk about The Crow and The Dove so much but I will forever kai and kyriel are so fascinating and the world building is so good in the story and the WHUMP. UGH truly unparalleled. you know it's good characters, world, plot, and writing when I-ME wants a character to have a break and not get tortured more (well okay I also still want him to get tortured more) only thing I will mention is the story does contain nsfw stuff and pretty dark whump but everything is tagged so avoid if it's not your thing but if you're okay with it (and over 18) then I highly recommend!!!!

@defire also has a TON of writing to read, stories, prompts and general whump musings that include some whump tropes that you don't see that often. Back to The Dregs is FANTASTIC angsty and whumpy and it also maybe kinda reminds me of one of the first whump stories I ever read when I was like 11 that was a newsies modern au fan fiction so I think I'm also partial to it

@holidayinhell literally every single piece of writing is so well written and give me whumperflies (do people still say that? I rarely see it anymore, am I old now im 20 I can't be) anyway Role Reversal is so good but THE CLIFFHANGER (nsfw)

@save-the-villainous-cat has such great stuff, really anything you're in the mood for there's a piece for it particularly I love the hero villain stuff

@jumpywhumpywriterlove's Vampire Captures Vampire Hunter to Use as Bloodbag series I def recommend if you like vampires, even if you don't I'd give it a shot, also Drugged Hero Whumpee used as Party Favor at Villain's Party is great. I have to admit I haven't read her whole blog but the few series I've read are amazing and she has SO MUCH WRITING (im not gonna make a Hamilton reference I've already made a newsies reference I've embarrassed my self enough)

and then here's a few other whump blogs that I enjoy and would recommend checking out!!

@whump-queen

@whump-in-the-closet

@shywhumpauthor

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast

okay for now I'll cut myself off but obviously there are so many more amazing whump blogs and stories out there!!! I hope this list can help you find something you like, thank you again for your kind words!

[1eos]

I got the purple reader too! I hadn't thought about my taste like that honestly. Though I think the book recs didn't seem to interest me necessarily. (Or well, I just donnnt like Murakami :/ ) Do you have any book recs that you think would also suit this kinda style?

i thought i was being snooty when i wasn't vibing with any of the book recs but everyone else was like 'damn these recs are ASS'. like i saw ishiguro's never let me go on there and honest to god scrolled back up thinking the quiz was for summer reading 😭 and GOD i hateeeee murakami. ppl keep toting him as some kind of revolutionary but every time i try to read his shit its deadass just man making his objectification of women verbose and 'deep' but if only if you're like 17 and have no life experience idk.

but YES i do have some purple reader recs! the description focused on books being dream-like, innovative, pushing the envelope or being experimental so i'd say:

in the dream house by carmen maria machado - a memoir but packaged in a way that's more like a domestic horror short story anthology about how abuse escalates in a relationship is akin to a haunting in a way. not easy to explain but it's SO good and carmen maria machado just has a very dream-like way of writing

ring shout by p djeli clark - one of the most unique books ive read concept wise. its an alternate historical supernatural novel where in the mid 1900s the kkk is actually like a demonic clan and these black hunters are tasked with taking them out. and omg the main character has this recurring nightmare and there's a major reveal abt that and it's stayed with me FOREVER

a tale for the time being by ruth ozeki - the book that got me back into writing. ruth's a writer and lives on an island and finds a lunchbox on the beach that has the journal of a japanese girl named nao who is being bullied in school and wants to chronicle why she's gonna kill herself. and it's such a long lasting story abt not hope per se but the infinite amount of growth and resilience of the human spirit and how buddhism is the wave basically lol

the nine lives of rose napolitano by donna frietas - i've never encountered a book that focused on alternate timelines without being heavy into scifi like this one. the book starts with rose on the fritz with her husband bc she's never wanted a baby but he's now pressuring her to have one and from this one confrontation it explores all the different ways her life can splinter and it's so interesting bc it doesn't go the cliche 'this is the life where im happy with a baby and here's a life where i'm miserable without one' it truly explores the deeper aspects of her marriage and how rose can find contentment no matter what. i really liked it at the end

jungian symbolism in astrology by alice o howell - i never know if ppl ever check out my astro book recs BUT this one is SO purple book coded. its abt astrology but you don;t need to know much because she doesn't talk abt methods but rather breaking down the meaning of astrology symbols. and it's not in a classic format its written like letters from the author to a dear friend. AND it goes beyond the basic astrology shit and really breaks down the importance of symbols and connects astrology to carl jung's ideas and it was such an interesting read that changed how i look at a lot of things

the night guest by hildur knutsdottir - a short but bold psychological horror. idunn realizes she's been sleepwalking and things happen. this is very dream like and very cold. very sparse. in a good way. a lot of american horror writers overwrite so this one was interesting in that it was more bare bones. the ending and the the reality of the horror is left really open ended and on goodreads a lot of ppl didnt like that but i fawking loved it

there's no such thing as an easy job by kikuko tsumura - follows the main character as she goes thru 5 different jobs after getting burnt out and the pitfalls of each job as means of 'escaping' the jobs that cause burn out if that makes sense. all of the 5 jobs are pretty unconventional and the main character accepts that even tho these jobs are 'easier' than her old job there's always just something that makes even an easy job complicated.

the secret lives of color by kassia st. clair - this is a nonfiction book about colors! like literally how we got the names for colors how we got them etc etc. i read it a long time ago but i remember that it was formatted really uniquely and written well

room by emma donoghue - read this for my humanities lit class in college a while ago but i never forgot it because i don't think i've ever read a book from the pov of a child in this kind of situation. basically jack's 5 and he's lived in a single room his entire life with his mom bc theyve been held captive by this weird ass old man. and the whole book you're like okay the mom's actions are kinda weird what's going on and then the reality of the situation sinks in and it's like...oh! all from the pov of a child that literally has only ever existed in a single room

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/14/2024

"surely this will be the worst book i read as part of this gay and lesbian erotica project," i say with faint hope. while i was discussing it with my bestie via facetime mackintosh completely gave up killing mr cactus so i can only assume she was KO'd by this book too

patch notes: split up the reading section into "article" and "not an article" for easier navigation

listening

another one for the "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)" playlist. just fun horny pop with some sick riffs. thank you spotify weekly recs.

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reading (article)

sometimes i think i've found a completely new type of guy, and then i find out what flavor of engineering he's retired from (metallurgical) and it suddenly makes him a known and cataloged typed of guy and i know where to shelve him. very charming home website, very charming writeup about buying out failing pinball businesses, the difficulties of production, and just like the love of the game? as a loving maintainer of things myself, i am fascinated by other loving maintainers.

i also had some very loose thoughts about cycles of games in various categories of play in general but then looked up some stuff to make sure i knew what the fuck i was talking about and guess what! i don't.

"There's a cycle of pinball. It's like a seven-year cycle, ups and downs and so forth," Young said. "Peak might have been about 1992 if you look at the number of games produced. It was like 120,000 games." But, from there, Young said, it was a steady decline of roughly 10 percent per year. ... Young eventually bought out Gottlieb's backlog of parts and numerous pieces of manufacturing equipment, operating a revenue share with the company for a time before taking outright control of the inventory. That's how The Pinball Resource became the de facto source for all things Gottlieb, but it wouldn't end there. "We've picked up all these pieces as the pinball business has shrunk and fallen apart," Young said. "I sat down once with a yellow pad, and I started writing down the number of distributors that I bought their stock, right? And I filled the side of the page and turned the page over before I got done." ... "This is probably one of the world's largest collections of schematics," Young said. "Every Gottlieb schematic in the world is in that filing cabinet." Schematics from other manufacturers sit nearby, along with endless manuals covering games from many brands and eras. I told him that the 1986 Williams machine High Speed was my favorite. Ten seconds later, he had the original manual in hand.

-

reading (not an article)

and now for the erotica. this has four stars on goodreads and i have zero fucking clue why.

this is published in 2010 by Intaglio and is the author's eleventh novel. it is difficult to believe this is her eleventh novel and that she had beta readers (who she thanks) bc there is very little internal consistency. unpleasant paper texture also.

Professor Tess Rawlins spent the last twelve years teaching agriculture in California, away from Montana and her heart. When she’s called back to the sprawling Double R cattle ranch and her ailing father, Tess is thrown back into the world she had nearly forgotten since the death of her brother two years earlier. Unsettling memories boil to the surface for Tess, and her only pleasant distraction is the new cook Claire Redman and her son Jack. However, there is more facing Professor Rawlins than dealing with the memory of her brother or her attraction to Claire. Tess must figure a way to save the Rawlins’s five thousand acres of rich grassland. It has thrived for five generations, when her great-grandfather started the dynasty in the 1880s; now she may lose it all to an unscrupulous land developer. Set in the foothills of the Bitterroots, Tess and Claire find themselves in the fight of their lives—for love and the sea of grass.

the only fun bit of construction is the beginning, with a prologue starring Tess's beloved great-uncle at the university he teaches at, and then a time skip to his great-niece in the same room teaching at the same university worrying about a lot of the same things. other than that, not a well constructed book, from a technical standpoint. in the first eighteen pages: seventeen laughs, ten grins, seven smiles, four cheek kisses, and three regular kisses. and a partridge in a pear tree. this will continue throughout the book. sometimes people will laugh more than once in a sentence. sometimes three people will laugh as a dialogue tag back to back. it has a very Go Dog Go early reader feel at times. it is difficult to believe real alive humans would say some of this dialogue. erotic. EROTIC. extremely erotic!!!

not a lot of internal consistency either: they get very worried about how they lost more calves than they thought they would and then ten pages later they are like actually we lost almost none! there are abrupt seasonal changes from what is established to be early April with snow on the ground to a blazingly hot afternoon necessitating dunking your whole head in a water trough within a (again, established! In the text!) week. one chapter it’s September and the next chapter they’re talking about the Fourth of July rodeo next month. i had to reread a page three times to figure out how they teleported to the middle of the pasture from the middle of the kitchen and not in a “and they found themselves outside” way. someone goes from leaning on a counter to leaning on a fence post.

the murder mystery resolves by someone going to jail but we never actually find out what happened. like ever. there is a fade to black after a fight in the street bc Tess has a hunch and suddenly the guy is in jail. how did her brother die? and why? who knows! the romantic progression also makes wild stuttering leaps forward. there is a very halfhearted jealousy subplot with a man. there is a third act breakup for no plausible reason, and the love interest is essentially kidnapped off a train, dragged back to the ranch, and everyone claps. literally claps.

not very coherent or detail-oriented. some of the most lackluster sex scenes i have ever read. not really sure why this one is sandwiched between two fade to black scenes.

this made me appreciate last week's book way more bc while it was not for me, it was at least coherent and had interesting progressions of both characters and events.

-

watching

Night Train to Munich (1940, dir. Reed).

Carol Reed’s Night Train to Munich is a twisting, turning, cloak-and-dagger delight, combining comedy, romance, and thrills with the greatest of ease. Paced like an out-of-control locomotive, Night Train takes viewers on a journey from Prague to England to the Swiss Alps as Nazis pursue a Czech scientist and his daughter (Margaret Lockwood), who are being aided by a debonair British undercover agent, played by Rex Harrison. This captivating, long-overlooked adventure—which features Paul Henreid and a clever screenplay by Frank Launder and Sidney Gilliat, best known for writing Alfred Hitchcock’s The Lady Vanishes—is a deftly concocted spy game that could give the Master of Suspense a run for his money.

i don't think it's as briskly paced as the criterion collection (above) thinks it is, but it was a good, tense watch. darkly, dryly funny-- there's a copy of Gone With The Wind on a newsstand between copies of Mein Kampf.

THE most high-stakes fake dating ever devised. they are constantly swooning over each other and the instant they are alone they are hissing at each other about how if you could FIND it in your HEART to find me ANYWHERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF ATTRACTIVE, maybewecanwiggleoutofthispickle!!! i do not typically like fake dating but this fucked, thank u carol reed director of my heart

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playing

i have been playing genshin impact since 1.0 and this week have discovered one chest in each of the two earliest areas. do i have eyes at all. do i know how to use them. the first case i had to pick every carrot in a patch, in the second case i had to kick some medium-strong enemies to the curb before accidentally knocking over an archery target. and apparently i have not done either of those things for four fucking years! it's kind of wild how much the game has moved away from hidden chests and puzzles like that.

one other annoyance: this game Does Not Want to let me climb on balloons. this is in the teapot, a place where you can stash furnishings and companions and make little scenes, but can i go to the cool balloon? no. fuck you.

-

making

my allergies have been acting up even after diligent cleaning and filter changing and vigorous cat brushing and letting the debri from all that die back down. have YOU ever taken all the little glass shades off all your ceiling fans and bathroom light fixtures and put them through the dishwasher? i don't think anyone had ever cleaned the fans in this apartment. ever.

[lambergeier]

2024 book post

this was simply not much of a reading year! middling start, uneven from month to month, slight revival during mine and emma's scotland trip in august, and then a HARD stop after which i gave up even trying and comics took over in full. the comics will be a separate post lol. recs in bold! except if they're from my vonnegut streak at the start of the year, in which case it would be ridiculous to attempt to recommend or not-recommend individual vonnegut books. it's vonnegut. you know what's up.

JANUARY

Sirens of Titan - Vonnegut (i loved pieces of this book in high school and didn't understand the rest of it and picked it up again to see if maybe a second attempt would assist. really funny bc as it turns out the pieces i didn't understand were like 80% of the book. catie age 15 knew this book was good but didn't know ANYTHING else that was going on. really good and funny and sad--shocking, it's vonnegut. inspired me to start reading the rest of his stuff in publication order)

The Book of all Books - Roberto Calasso (book length of cultural criticism on the subject of the bible, almost wholly the old testament, by a man I had not previously heard of but was apparently a monumental figure in european literary criticism prior to his recent death. as a cultural christian who was raised with truly 0 contact with christian faith at any point, this was a fascinating way to learn about some of the actual events of the old testament--as described by an incredibly impassioned old italian man, and with a whole chapter dedicated, suddenly, to freud. i skipped the freud chapter, but the rest of the book was intensely interesting and, huge credit to both calasso and his translator, beautiful. check that opening paragraph. also made for some engrossing conversations with my beautiful jewish wife who did have some religious education growing up and was extremely helpful in laying out what was more mainstream thought on david and solomon and what was mr. calasso getting On some Shit.)

Player Piano - Vonnegut (vonnegut's first book. good, even great at times, but lightly overwritten by normal standards and incredibly overwritten by what would become his own standards. the leap from this to sirens, his second book, is astonishing. NEVER stop writing, at ANY time you could go from writing perfectly interesting spec fic to producing some of the greatest american fiction of the century. also very interesting to read as a book about automation now, in the time of Newer automation. i think possibly nothing ever changes!)

Mother Night - Vonnegut (i really should have taken more notes at the time lmao. emma says i thought this one fucked. that feels correct. discussion of ww2 and the holocaust and the consequences of both are so eminently more valuable when written by people who lived through them, shocker. and, again, when those people were some of the most observant writers of their generation lmao. the israeli contempt for holocaust survivors that became obvious to me, christian american lady, only within the last year or two, is front in center in the mother night frame story. kinda want to read this again right now. what can individual guilt and responsibility even mean in the fact of all that death?)

Cat's Cradle - Vonnegut (REALLY should have taken more notes!! emma says i didn't vibe with this one. i believe her, but would love to remember why. i read cat's cradle in high school as well, but apparently it didn't click this time. who knows!!! not me, the dummy who doesn't write things down!!!)

God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater - Vonnegut (this one washed over me a bit. vivid memories of senator rosewater decrying deodorant as a liberal feminine luxury propagated by those fairies on madison ave, which was sooooooooo fucking interesting to me. bro sometimes the past just LEAPS out at you when you least expect it. this was probably also a masterpiece, i should read it again.)

Slaughterhouse-Five - Vonnegut (exactly as good as it always is. i should also read this again. idk i really should have taken more notes because i think i would have had more things to say, but once again all i really remember is the emotion, which is: man! the children's crusade!)

The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity - David Graeber and David Wengrow (OKAY GREAT NOT TALKING ABOUT VONNEGUT ANYMORE SO I CAN GET REAL. I LOOOOOOOOVED THIS BOOK. I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK FOOOOOOOR REAL. this is graeber and wengrow over and over again taking the wildest most cherry-picked possible interpretation of the archaeological evidence and being like okay so this is what this pre-history civilization could have been like. and you're like okay well hold up guys. and then they prove that the traditional, mainstream conception of these civilizations is EQUALLY wild and cherry-picked, so why the fuck shouldn't we consider their thing! if we're doing cherry picking! and it fully just opened my third eye re: other/non-western/non-modern-western modes of society building and i love it. i was already uninterested in books that conceive of Society and Nature as deeply opposed forces that can never mix without one or the other being destroyed, and this book really put the nail in the coffin. there are so many other ways to live. people did them. people still do them. it's time to incorporate SEASONALITY into our PARADIGMS!!! anyways please read this book.)

FEBRUARY

American Midnight - Adam Hochschild (emma talks about this one as well, she recommended it to me, but just a fantastic history of american democracy under wilson/during and after ww1. spoiler: it was weak, threatened, and overall bad. fuck wilson and fuck teddy roosevelt fr! i listened on audiobook, but still what i would call a very readable style by a very smart guy.)

MARCH

We Both Laughed in Pleasure - Lou Sullivan (a birthday gift from @brella that i really loved but that i think was still a bit too repetitive in the middle for me to recommend to all comers lol. the collected and abridged diaries of lou sullivan, a trans man originally from the midwest and living in san francisco in the 80s and early 90s (he was killed by AIDS in '91), who was a trailblazing community organizer mostly, by his own admission, because he was a guy who was willing to organize zines and meetings and etc for other trans men before anyone else thought to. the repetitiveness is the fault of the diaries' curators imho--they focused primarily on pulling the passages that focused on sullivan's trans and gay identity and his experience with his own sexuality which was, don't get me wrong, hugely fascinating, but also this guy had a lot of sex and wrote a LOT about it, so eventually it was like. well i think i've read about this particular sexual partner of yours for a few pages now, maybe we could get something else going on? still really loved it. the opening passages, from when sullivan was like 13, focus on his intense, intensely fannish love for the beatles. the paul mccartney do-be problem: it never goes out of style!!)

APRIL

The Traitor Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - still dickinson, yeah (traitor i read in college, monster i read when it came out, tyrant i BOUGHT when it came out but never read, and so when we went out of town in april for passover i was like fuck it. i'm finally reading tyrant. ALAS: it's not that good. traitor is good on a functional level if not the most compelling: gets through its story with limited uneven-ness, characters are barebones but interesting, story itself is interesting, etc. monster is my favorite: nuts, deeply compelling, but not necessarily good. the plot's a bit of a mess but every character leaps off the page--not just baru, but ever side character introduced as little more than a name in traitor is suddenly vivid, breathing, sexy, homosexual, and deranged. srivakir you will ALWAYS be famous. tyrant, unfortunately, is deranged but so so too long. plot throughline is muddled, action is jumpy and erratic, characters are still great but just can't overcome the lumpen nature of the story. i'll still read the last book, but i'm not surprised tyrant took dickinson so long, nor that the fourth book has been so long in coming. svirakir and your lover and your non-sexual throuple and your child and your lightning madness fr call me when you are free tho.) (WAIT ALSO EVERYONE WHO ACCUSED TRAITOR OF HOMOPHOBIA FOR BEING KILL-YOUR-GAYS WAS FOR SURE A HATER THO. EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT THAT CRITICISM WAS WRONG HAVE BEEN PROVED VALID AS HELL. TOXIC YURI STAY WINNING!!!)

The Spear Cuts Through Water - Simon Jimenez (refreshing in that it believed very badly that prose should be beautiful, but i do not think the prose was actually beautiful. huge huge points for trying. pacing in the first half actively bored me, second half picked up, and the metanarrative twist at the end got me good. i don't recommend it recommend it, but i do recommend it on the basis that jimenez should for sure get credit for trying)

Solitaire - Kelly Erskine (read this bc my wife mentioned it and it was like, really funny. good, but then not good? intensely interesting, but then went somewhere else entirely that was like super normie and boring? sci fi written by queer women who really fully believe in the uplifting power of corporatism and MBTI specifically. three short stories mashed together than only vaguely have any relationship to each other. still had a good time.)

MAY

The Saint of Bright Doors - Vajra Chandrasekera (loved this loved this loved this. there IS good debut genre fiction out there. we just have to believe!!!)

JUNE - nope

JULY

Out for Good: The Struggle to Build a Gay Rights Movement in America - Adam Nagourney and Dudley Clendinen (political history of the american gay rights movement pre-AIDS. had some fascinating insights into the history of lesbian separatism/animosity towards the mainstream gay rights movement (turns out, in the 60s and 70s, between the male-dominated gay rights movement and the mostly-straight feminist movement, one of those things was offering more personhood to lesbians than the other!), and how the gay rights movement failed to respond to AIDS when the first warning signs started to appear. that was crazy. having moved in gay political circles myself, one can really see why everyone did what they did, and it sucks, because it resulted in a lot of death. recommend if political history is an existing area of interest, it wasn't a standout (like last year's Coming Out Under Fire) otherwise.)

Night Theater - Vikram Paralkar (really good, honestly not as depressing as i thought it would be. but only because emma tricked me thinking it would be even worse!)

AUGUST

Meet Me by the Fountain: An Inside History of the Mall - Alexandra Lange (cultural history of american malls. interesting, but towards couldn't decide whether it was history or cultural criticism or architectural criticism or what. happens all the time. made me think more kindly towards malls as community spaces at least, and the short history of pre-mall shopping and the social forces that led to the creation of urban malls/department stores in 1800s france (including, among other things, paved streets!) was really interesting.)

The Future - Naomi Alderman (wanted to be a cure for tech-poisoned futures, but was itself still too tech-poisoned in its understandings of power/individualism. oh well!)

The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Books 1-3 - Jonathan Stroud (posted about these more extensively at the time--adored them in middle school, read them again for the first time as an adult. still so good. of middling quality all the way up until the end, at which point you are struck dead by god. emma can confirm. got struck dead by god on the train between glasgow and edinburgh. i was there.)

Call for the Dead - John Le Carre

Murder of Quality - John Le Carre

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold - John Le Carre (first three books in what was intended to be a much longer le carre read, and which i should really get back to. call for the dead is a debut, murder of quality is a rightly abandoned attempt to go the classic murder-mystery route, and then spy who came from the cold in is, much like described above, a sudden psychic assault by god. brutal fucking spy fiction, and the only kind of spy fiction worth reading, as in so cynical as to be basically suicidal. spies have never solved a problem they didn't create themselves and perpetuate by means of, at minimum, five innocent lives. NEED to read our game. love and kisses to mr le carre!!)

Martyr! - Kaveh Akbar (love is REAL and so is POETRY and is so fucking your GAY ROOMMATE! very very lovely.)

SEPTEMBER - also nope

OCTOBER

Long Live Evil - Sarah Rees Brennan (svsss retelling meets fe3h character dynamics, fumbles the best elements of both, creates a great premise (brennan grappling very publicly with her own near-death to cancer is the best part of the book and makes for a great framework for an isekai protagonist) but the execution can't keep up with the ideas. alas! not the best book to finish out the year on, but what can you do. at least i read something!)

and that's the end of books for the year!!! 29 total (one not listed here), so a low since 2021, when i only started reading again in like august of that year following a cool post-depressive episode no-reading-spell that lasted several times longer than the actual depressive episode did lol. i have not recently been depressed so i think the dry periods this year were simply dry periods. and, especially the comics started happening, it's not like i've been lacking things to spend brain power on. now those things are just american superhero comics! which is a whoopsie! even a whoopsie-doodle! but i've got a tbr pile as tall as my hip so hopefully i circle back to real books at some point next year. and if i don't, i don't!

[bluiela]

"Why was Gwyn even in the BC if SJM wasn't intending to make her Azriel's endgame??"

Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why was Azriel wanting to get on his knees for a taste of Elain and pulling her hair back to kiss her if SJM intended on ENDING them in a BC?

It's not like they had any of those types of scenes anywhere else in the book. But yeah ... sure... SJM chose to end Elriel in a BC by writing the hottest, most anticipated almost kiss scene in the entire series ..... instead of you know.... not mentioning them at all....

The "hottest" (please get some good book recs) e/riel scene SJM put that may have given you the indication that e/riel is endgame:

If this is what you consider "hottest" then I mean.. I hope you read other books than ACOTAR.

SJM made Elain reject Az, she wrote Az not planning for Elain beyond sexual Fantasies when Cassian was planning for Nesta for the Next life because this one was ending, she made Rowan plan for Aelin even though the major chances of her living was literally in negative, made Rhys plan for Feyre even though she loved another and he had no plan to pursue her if she was happy and so on.

She wrote this and wrote another character who calmed and settled not only him but his shadows. She wrote Clear Contrast b/w Gwyn and Elain's interactions how the shadows dance to her but vanish from Elain, how he plans for a snowball fight for a year but had 0 problem not planning for Elain.

How he NOT ONCE yearns to kiss her again. Thinks how he CAN'T stay away from her BUT has to. He has 0 issues from satying away from her.

Maas ended the chapter with Gwyn buried deep in his heart, of him smiling unconsciously thinking of her smile and eyes. Of her making him tell us that he sings. Of the same language she used for other mates.

If you read other SJM books and you see the same language used for other mates also being put here, you think to yourself hmmm....why the same wording...why the banter and highlighted interactions in the book..why after the BC there is 0 interactions for e/riel but in the actual book Maas not only made him her ribbon with her making Gwyn challenge him and amuse him.. why give them past..why make them equals.. why connect Gwyn to the plot and set her up again and again.. and a million other stuff but I'll make it short.

If you for once remove the self-insert biased glasses, you'll see the obvious set up.

[watermelinoe]

Manga recs????

of course!! so my all time favorites are: kimi ni todoke, kanata kara, koe no katachi, and kamisama hajimemashita (idk why they all start with k lmao??) but then i have more specific recs

hetero manhwa recs: for better or for worse and your eternal lies are my favorite het manhwa. for better or for worse is an isekai that reminds me of jane austen and shakespeare and it's my second favorite isekai after kanata kara. your eternal lies has some heavy subject matter including domestic abuse and trafficking (the female lead is sold to her much older husband as a teen by her orphanage and is arrested for killing him) but it does such a good job with its theme of witches and witch hunts and it's ultimately so cathartic and worth the journey

yuri: if you haven't read her shim cheong please read it, it's so good, misogyny is a major theme, there's twists and court intrigue, it's all done so well. kakeochi girl is also fantastic, the art style is so charming and the characters felt real. sukeban to tenkousei has a retro feel to it and it's so sweet, but i heard it was cancelled and the last chapters haven't been uploaded anywhere that i've found, so i don't know if it was given a satisfying conclusion :( but i quite liked what i read! and then of course there's the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all (green yuri!!). great art, great coming of age story, it's getting an anime!

stuff i've been reading lately that isn't finished yet: the apothecary diaries!! mao mao my beloved. if you like mysteries and court intrigue, here you go, and there's also an anime :) megane, tokidoki, yankee-kun is a surprisingly wholesome high school manga that i stumbled upon and enjoyed catching up on with a "reformed" delinquent and a girl who's not book-smart or athletic but she's such a good person you can't not root for her (i have a soft spot for shoujo protagonists like this. total rays of sunshine. always does her best even if she's not good at it. low self-esteem but sees the good in others. i lov it, that's my shit). and finally a bit of a twist on the isekai villainess concept, futsutsuka na akujo de wa gozaimasu ga hinamiya chou nezumi torikae den. in the running for longest manga title but i've seen longer. but it's a super fun body-swapping villainess story and i don't wanna spoil things but it doesn't end where you think it would end, that's just the beginning of the premise.

bonus weebfemmery: colette decides to die has an official english release!!!!! i thought i'd never get to see the ending bc the scanlation team seems to have abandoned it two thirds of the way through and it wasn't licensed in english (shoujo enjoyers know the struggle) but then in 2024 they started releasing paperbacks in english and i can finally die happy once i see the end. it's so good and touching and is everything you want in good shoujo. definitely reminds me of kamisama hajimemashita

i also have a tag for recs i think but i have to find it lol