#book overview

[second-wolf]

Sooo, I was gonna make this blog about the book I’m writing, and then I just… didn’t.

Anyways, here is information on the book I’m writing!

Side note: This book is in it's early stages of development so take a decent number of names, character description, and places with a grain of salt, as they may be subject to change. I will try to update them as the book develops.

Themes!

The main theme of my as of yet unnamed book is all about how we can process the world around us, especially when issues arise. A lot of the themes are somewhat personal, as I first conceived the main idea of this book during a fairly tumultuous time in my life.

The main idea is that there is no one way to work through issues. Even if one idea may work the best, one tool in your tool belt can only take you so far. A hammer won’t screw something together like a drill.

It also has a few minor themes of dealing with chronic issues or disabilities, but since this is a fantasy novel, of course the disabilities are kind of superpowers. They do have their moments where it’s anything but though.

Magic System!

The magic system is fairly simple in all regards. In the broad strokes we have:

Molders- Basically alchemy. They can change the shape or material of anything they touch so long as they are aware of what the material is made of. The higher their understanding of what they are molding, the easier it is for them to mold it. One drawback though is organic material is usually fairly hard to shape, mostly things like food or anything capable of sustaining life, mostly because its fairly complex chemically.

Adapters- Kind of similar to Molders. They can change the shape of stuff, but only metals, and it has to be absorbed into their body first. How easily they can essentially shapeshift using the metals depends on the metal's softness, like gold is one of the easier ones to use because its fairly soft, whereas tungsten is one of the harder ones.

Enforcers- They can boost their strength, speed or durability by up to a total of 100%, with that 100% being equal to around 10x what their current body strength can be able to handle. The only drawback is that they have to be mindful of how quickly they boost their 'stats' and how they divvy up that 100%, like if your strength is suddenly 10x more powerful than normal, you might break your leg by taking a step, so maybe balance it out with a durability boost too, because although you'd be weaker, you'd be tougher.

Illusionist- maybe the most broken of the four abilities, idk. They are able to create any sort of hallucinations they want, so long as they can clearly imagine it. Depending on the skill level it could range from crappy visual hallucinations to a full on sensory nightmare, affecting all five senses. Granted, the more complicated the illusion the greater the mental toll it take on the user, which can lead to things like headaches or even brain bleeds if one pushes themselves too far. Also, when it comes to making illusory sensations, its hard to make sensations that one has not directly experienced.

Characters!

Eli/Elijah- the main character

He’s around 16 or 17, and grew up in not quite a negligent home, but it wasn’t very loving either. His mom was mostly working as a kid and his dad was always too tired to do much. He also never had much luck with friends either, as they always found him odd or annoying given that he almost was always reading rather than playing or hanging out with everyone else.

Tobi- my favorite

Tobi is trauma incarnate. He grew up in an underground lab and was the product of human experimentation, which in this case was more of a “mess around to keep our funding but it actually worked” kinda way. Tobi is blind, because he has no eyes. He still can see, kind of. He’s more able to ‘sense’ than see, and more of the different materials that are around him than anything like color or light. He also has a nigh crippling fear of crowds and major trust issues, mostly from growing up in an underground lab. He also has horns, because this is my book and I can do whatever fantasy bs I want. Oh also he’s like 12 or 13.

Sylvana- the sassy lady

Sylvana is a noble, kinda, from the wealthiest nation. The reason it’s kinda is that the society is a strict meritocracy, where someone’s skill in adapting (one of the magic macguffin powers) determines one’s status in society. She’s the mc’s love interest too. She’s around the same age as Eli. She has a very sharp tongue and is extremely skilled, given her father is one of the most powerful people in their country. I haven’t quite fleshed out her character more than this, as this book is still in fairly early stages.

Ollie/Oliver- big buff boi

Oliver is Australian. But like. Caricature Australian. He’s really buff and strong but also very wholesome and optimistic, sometimes borderline toxic optimism. He’s kind of the reigning champion fighter of his country, but only in his age group, which is everyone under 20 (he’s 19). His mother was the one who trained him to fight, and also schools the others in fighting.

Artun- The old cranky lady

She doesn't really show up till more towards the end, but she basically acts as the mom of the group for the final stretch. To her, the entire group are a bunch of children who have seen way too much, even just that they got to her door, as she lives in a very remote place. She is about to throw hands with everyone who traumatized her kids.

King Greed the Avaricious- the antagonist

He is literally greed personified. His kingdom has been in shambles for hundreds of years and he wants everything. Not even for the good of his people, he just wants what everyone else has to the point they get as poor as he *thinks* he is (he actually is rather rich, but not to him).

Setting!

The world the main story takes place in is called Kordra, an unusual landmass, as it looks very similar to a compass. It has four main countries.

Aur- A golden country with massive amounts of wealth and influence, as it provides food to most other countries, but is a heavy meritocracy based on one's Adapter abilities, even to the point of a noble title not being handed down simply because one isn't skilled enough.

Ruin- Capitalism if it was mixed with the storyline of Fallout with a hint of the Lorax. It was the most prosperous nation for a long time, with it's Molders able to make piles of dirt into pure gold, however this made the leaders of Ruin very greedy and shortsighted, and they ended up using up all of their natural resources and nearly starving their people as they couldn't just transmute food into existence. As such the old kingdom fell till not even it's name remained, hence it now being called Ruin, with only the capital of Matus still standing.

Enta- Basically Australia. Its a mostly desert climate where everything is deadly and you're either crazy or a criminal to live there. It's very survival of the fittest, but not in the way Aur is.

The Hallowed Hollow- Not many know much about it. The people there used their illusory powers to keep up a massive misty illusion that confuses anyone who walks into the forest, to the point they either luck into the exit or starve trying to find it. The people there are very unsure of the outside world, as several decades before the story, an extermination was carried out against them by Ruin, thinking that they may have been hiding some sort of treasures inside.

Here's a map for the visual learners:

Plot!

Finally, the fun part.

The plot of this as-of-yet-unnamed-book is fairly simple in terms of basic structure. Eli goes into the otherworld, meets friends, gets traumatized, gets healing, happy ending.

I don't want to spoil a lot of the story, as I am trying to make it into an actual book, however I will divulge a bit.

Eli starts in Matus, having freshly fallen from the sky, somehow, still working on that, and gets shipped to that lab that Tobi is held at, and they spend many months there before breaking out, basically brothers at this point. Then they go to Aur, then Enta, then HH, and then kick the kings ass somehow. This book is very in it's early stages and so I only wanna give out the barebones, so a lot of it is still a TBD.

I hope you stick around to see the progress, as I'll probably be asking for feedback to see where things can be changed. I do welcome feedback on any of this, but just please be respectful, as this is also a very personal story for me. Thank you!!

[leroibobo]

when the homes in the depopulated palestinian village of lifta were originally built is impossible to tell and most likely varies from house to house. the area's been known since ancient times, including having been written about in the hebrew bible. it's retained multiple different names throughout history - lifta by romans, nephto by byzantines, clepsta by crusaders, then lifta again by arabs. in more recent times, the area saw battle in the early 19th century, when it saw a peasant's revolt against egyptian conscription and taxation policies. (egyptian-ottoman ruler muhammad ali had attempted to become independent from the ottoman empire, and sought to use the area of "greater syria" which palestine was apart of as a buffer state.)

the village was predominantly muslim with a mosque, a maqām for local sage shaykh badr, a few shops, a social club, two coffee houses, and an elementary school which opened in 1945. its economy was based in farming - being a village of jerusalem, farmers would sell their produce in the city's markets. an olive press which remains in the village gives evidence to one of the most important crops its residents farmed. the historically wealthy village was known for its intricate embroidery and sewing, particularly of thob ghabani bridal dresses, which attracted buyers from across the levant.

lifta also represents one of the few palestinian villages in which the structures weren't totally or mostly decimated during the 1948 nakba. 60 of the 450 original houses remain intact. from zochrot's entry on lifta:

israel's absentee property law of 1950 permits the state to expropriate land and assets left behind, and denies palestinians the right to return to old homes or to reclaim their property. it's estimated that there's around 400,000 descendants of the village's original refugee population dispersed in east jerusalem, the west bank, jordan, and the palestinian diaspora.

like many depopulated palestinian houses, some of those in lifta were initially used to settle predominantly mizrahi immigrants and refugees, in this case 300 jewish families from yemen and kurdistan. the houses weren't registered in their names, and the area generally saw poor infrastructure and no resources including water and electricity provided by the government. most left in the early 1970s as a part of a compensation program to move out people who'd been settled in depopulated palestinian houses - if they didn't, they were referred to as "squatters" and evicted. (holes were even drilled in the roofs of evacuated buildings to make them less habitable). the 13 families which remain there today only managed to do so because they lived close to the edge of the village.

in 1987, the israeli nature reserves authority planned to restore the "long-abandoned village" and turn it into a natural history center which would "stress the jewish roots of the site", but nothing came of it. several more government proposals on what to do with the land had been brought up since then. this culminated in in 2021 when the israel land administration announced without informing the jerusalem municipal authorities that it issued a tender for the construction of a luxury neighborhood on the village's ruins, consisting of 259 villas, a hotel, and a mall. since 2023, they've agreed to shelve and "rethink" these plans after widespread objection.

the reasons for the objections varied significantly between the opposing israeli politicians - who see the village as an exemplar of cultural heritage and "frozen in time" model of palestinian villages before 1948 - and palestinians - who largely see the village as a witness of the nakba and a symbol of hope for their return. lifta is currently listed by unesco as a potential world heritage site, a designation netanyahu has threatened to remove several times.

many palestinians who are descendent from its former residents still live nearby. like with many other depopulated palestinian villages, they've never ceased to visit, organize tours of the village, and advocate for its preservation.

[communistkenobi]

actually one thing that has been very elucidating while reading academic scholarship on anti-vaxx movements post-Covid is that a lot of seemingly “apolitical” or non-fascist participation in anti-vaxx and vaccine skeptical protests/demonstrations/social media activity is the result of decades of neoliberal governance - everyone is a ‘critical consumer citizen,’ a subjectivity that produces a public who is deeply invested in ‘shopping for alternatives’ and ‘getting the best deal,’ meaning that mass vaccination programs and mandates, even when universal and socialised, are viewed with suspicion by the public. These people are then primed to listen to the fascists who lurk among these movements, even if they’re a minority. I think one of the larger, more devastating takeaways of the pandemic is that our current situation in North America - low vaccination rates, high infection rates, lots of Covid variants - is the direct result of decades-long neoliberal projects to gut public infrastructure and turn everything into a privatised consumer product. Public goods like universal vaccination programs are therefore seen not as such but as authoritarian, anti-competitive disruptions of a free and open marketplace. To call it a PR disaster would be massively underselling it, but the public appears to have disappeared, replaced instead with an infinite mass of individuals in a market who all have to come to their own decisions about every aspect of their life, even at the cost of everyone around them. what a miserable place we’re in

[qilingxiong]

so presenting at friend group powerpoint night in a hijacked lecture hall went well

[manuscripts-dontburn]

[stuckinapril]

i love anthologies. anthologies are so sexy

[siilverwiitch]

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝑶𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍'𝒔 𝑩𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑽𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒆 𝟏

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓: 𝑴𝒐 𝑿𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑿𝒊𝒖

𝑪𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 & 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑰𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒃𝒚: 日出的小太阳 (𝒕𝒂𝒊𝟑_𝟑)

𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒓 𝑰𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒃𝒚: 𝒁𝒆𝒍𝒅𝒂𝑪𝑾

𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚: 𝑺𝒖𝒊𝒌𝒂 & 𝑷𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒆 (𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒐𝒓)

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚: 𝑺𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝑺𝒆𝒂𝒔 𝑬𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

★★★★☆

𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑬𝒈𝒈: 𝑩𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒖𝒆 (𝑽𝒊𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆 𝒋𝒂𝒓) 𝑩𝒂𝒅 𝑬𝒈𝒈: 𝑴𝒖𝒅𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 (𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆'𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏) 𝑯𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏: 𝑺𝒂𝒏 𝑳𝒂𝒏𝒈 (哥哥 (𝑮ē𝒈ē) 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒆) & 𝑿𝒊𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒂𝒏 ("𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄. 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏. 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆, 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒚. 𝑾𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒔, 𝒏𝒐?")

𝑵𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒍 𝑨𝒓𝒕

[pencilofawesomeness]

What is Twisted Wonderland and how would you sell someone on it?

Ohoho. Ohohohoho. Anon. You have activated my trap card >:D

(I'm about to be soooo annoying/unhinged and I'm sorry. I'm not.)

Alright, so:

Twisted Wonderland is a Disney mobile game made in Japan and co-produced by Aniplex. (Yes, that Aniplex.) I'm not here to sell you on the game, so much as the story, but it is a sort of story-book rpg with turned based fights and rhythm games, where you build character units from a gacha pull. As far as gameplay goes, it's very simple, and most of the emphasis lies on the characters and the story. And it's wonderful.

The on-the-box description of this game doesn't do it justice, per se, but that might be because Disney has a little bit of influence on it and they suck at knowing who their target audience is. It is about a high school based on classic Disney villains—but no, not in the way you're thinking, because I once made that mistake too. It is not a villain school. Rather, the world of Twisted Wonderland is its own entity, with characters built as sort of nods or foils to classic Disney characters. The world itself is somewhat built with these films as its past, and history has become so twisted (ha) that modern society views some of these classic villains as the heroes or supporting characters of their stories, and respect them as The Great Seven. (The seven in question being the Queen of Hearts, Scar, Ursula, Jafar, the Evil/Raven Queen, Hades, and Maleficent. None of them are remembered by name, though.)

The game takes place in the modern era, a society with both technology and magic. Specifically, it takes place in a magic high school called Night Raven College, an all-boys dormitory prep school where the only requirement to get in is a magic mirror that peers into your soul and determines whether or not you can a) do magic and b) kin the Great Seven. And, of course, the player character is a regular-ass human who gets isekai'd in and gets stuck with a talking magic cat direbeast named Grim.

Now. That is the general synopsis. I, on the other hand, affectionately call this the Mental Breakdown game.

See, here's the kicker. The magic system is pretty nifty; while it's functions as a standard magic-is-magic sort of soft system, it has ✨consequences✨

Magic has this byproduct called blot. It's this icky stuff that builds up when you a) use too much magic and/or b) are emotionally distressed. But less so in a "I'm panicked right now" sort of way and more so in a "I have chronic depression and/or anxiety" sort of way. And, when a mage is powerful enough, and sad boi enough, and then goes and uses way too much magic and sad boi juice in one sitting, this amazing phenomenon occurs called "overblot"—which is pretty much a super-powered evil form that turns the mage into the darkest form of themselves and then uses magic until they die.

Naturally, this happens in the game. A lot. The formula is pretty much that each "book" of the story, there is an overblot. One for each of the seven dorms, which are based off of the seven villains/the movies they come from. (And "based on" is pretty loose. Yes you can see the similarities, but these are dumb teenage boys with their own hopes and aspirations, and, sometimes, the game completely lies to you about what character they emulate the most. The guy who's Jafar? Well yes but he's actually just a really stressed out Genie stand in. The Hades guy? Whoops that's Meg. Is that a card soldier or the White Rabbit? Doesn't matter, he's got problems.)

The characters are so well written. I could gush about them forever, and they are the driving points of this plot and it means everything to me. They are some of the most traumatized and messed up individuals, but also, they are dumb teenage boys who do dumb teenage boys things. It is all incredibly well balanced and startlingly realistic for a game that amounts to beating the emotional constipation around people. Mostly because it cannot be beat out of them. The blot can, but they have to deal with their emotions with their own two hands, with varying levels of success.

And the shenanigans!!!! Oh, the shenanigans. I call this the Emotional Trauma game but I have once laughed so hard someone heard me through the floor. It's not all doom and gloom for sure. Sometimes you're watching your friend fall apart because his toxic mother instilled debilitating perfectionism and slowly start making enemies of everyone and sometimes you're sending three of the most gremlin students plus one cinnamon roll to infiltrate a gala that a bunch of weather fairies are throwing in the greenhouse because they stole your temperature regulating magestone to be shiny jewelry and you want it to stop snowing inside your dorm room. And sometimes you can have the exact same character who experienced losing his little brother right in front of him gush about a magical girl sledding anime and all of his gacha games. It is the best of both worlds.

And, that's not all! No, no. We get amazing character interactions. Not just pre-determined friend group interactions, but also random interactions. Yana Toboso (the writer/artist) really likes to stick names in a jar sometimes and make them interact and it is the best thing ever. Every single one of these characters I hold in my hands. Every single one of them gets to have their moment to shine. You can emotionally invest in all of them and be rewarded for it.

The game itself is free and pretty easy to get into. There's not really a bad power creep so you can get through it with what you got. Of course the fun part of collecting cards is that there are stories attached to them that you can watch, and those are also sources of joy. (And it's well documented, so you can find things online pretty easily to catch up and see more.)

I just think it's neat. (Read: I accidentally became wholly obsessed with this game and its characters and they are all blorbos to me.)

You should definitely fall into this rabbit hole with me :))) It's so worth it :)))

[markantonys]

one of my earliest WOT book-related memories is reading the brief wikipedia summaries for each book and getting to one of the slog books that mentioned "perrin continues searching for his wife" and i thought "damn, he still hasn't found her yet?" little did i know

[boosstergold]

Didn't get a reply back on this but I'm going to post a few (DC) recs anyway? These are mostly places I think are good to start. (Disclaimer that these are influenced by personal taste).

Easy mode: Short contained run, probably less than 30 issues (can be more), very unlikely to have any crossovers, does not require much (if any) further knowledge of characters.

Medium mode: Approx 40-75 issues, will have some crossovers but you won't need to read them if you don't want to, may require a little wiki-ing about some characters/events but only if you're curious.

Hard(er) mode: We're reaching 100+ issue territory, many crossovers (some which can be ignored, some which may be confusing if ignored but you can wiki those if you don't want to read them). Believe me it is fairly easy to ignore a missing crossover/event issue and barrel on back to the main story in most cases.

Green Lanterns

Easy: Far Sector, Green Lantern: Legacy - both self-contained, introduce new characters.

Medium: Green Lantern Corps vol 2(2006-2011) - a few crossovers events here, (don't feel you have to read every blackest night crossover lmao just read what you want even if that is just this comic alone), Green Lanterns (2016-2018) (Jessica Cruz and Simon Baz).

Hard(er): Green Lantern vol 3 (1990-2006) (Kyle Rayner's run) #48 onwards, long run, not all of it is amazing quality but it is more good than not. Significant number of crossovers because this spans 12 years.

Superman

Easy: The Man of Steel (1986) six issue mini reintroducing Superman post-crisis, Superman Red & Blue (2021), Superman Smashes the klan (2019-2020), Batman/Superman: World's Finest (2022-ongoing)

Hard(er): Superman (1987-2006) + The Adventures of Superman (1987-2006) + Action Comics (1938-2011 starting at #597) These 3 titles run concurrently and the story sometimes moves from one to the next meaning you will miss something if you're not reading all three. (I am currently reading these and am only in the first quarter so cannot say anything about quality of later issues).

More under read more

Blue Beetle

Easy: Blue Beetle vol 2 (1986-1988)(Ted Kord), Blue Beetle vol 3 (2006-2011)(Jaime Reyes)

Hard(er): Justice League International/America (it renames at issue #26) (1987-1998) Team book (obviously) and a long run where quality is not always consistent but is fun overall and essential for Ted's character.

Booster Gold

Easy: Booster Gold vol 1 (1986)

Hard-(er): Justice League International/America (see above)

Misc.

Easy: Young Justice (1998-2003) (if you like Tim, Kon, Bart, Cassie etc an essential read)

Medium: Wonder Woman vol 5 (2016-2023) #1-#54 a good re-introduction of Diana post n52 (side note that I've heard Wonder Woman vol 2 (1987-2006) is good but I have not read it yet).

[the-mononoke-facade]

Waaaaaaait if I'm understanding this setup right it might have some major implications for how Kusu moves through the world holy shit

[magic-swords-art]

About my worldbuilding: the Tega'si

The Tega’si are a species of aliens from the planet Tega. Tega is almost completely covered on water, and Tega even means “water”—“Tega’si” means “from the water.” Tega’si live both on land and underwater, and as a result have both gills and lungs and have better night vision than humans. A lot of what’s edible to Tega’si on Tega is harmful to humans, but Tega’si cannot have dairy—they’re all lactose intolerant.

Some more interesting things about them: Tega'si are born with no legs and no working lungs. Instead, they have a tail and must be kept underwater until their lungs fully develop around 1 year of age. (They can be taken out of water for short periods of time). Their legs also grow in around the same time, and their tail continues to shrink until they reach anywhere from 8-13, and it drops off. They live around the same length as humans. 

Some of them are also born with markings--like these jellyfish rings.

They also have the possibility to develop magic, either aethermancy (light magic) or umbromancy (shadow magic). Each type of magic has their own subset of abilities, which magic users can choose which ones they specialize in—or dip a little into them all! (I'd talk more about the magic system, but that would take it's own post)

[i-psofacto]

Hi, welcome in! So glad you've visited. Have a seat!

I made some tea, would you like some?

Maybe a bite to eat? I only have canned goods...

Just the tea is fine? No problem, let me get you a cup... here!

You know, it's such a nice day outside, why don't we make it a picnic?

Ahh, isn't the view so nice? I love the beach!

Did you hear something towards the tea?... oh my gosh what is that watch out

[essektheylyss]

I JINXED MYSELF I opened a book I wanted to read and then my third course site got published and there's an optional book to read THERE AS WELL THAT SOUNDS SUPER INTERESTING THAT WOULD PROBABLY GO REALLY WELL IN TANDEM WITH MY CURRENT BOOK, FUCK

[anwhitebooks]

Everything I read, watched, listened to, or played in October 2024

November 5, 2024 Hello, book nerds! October felt like a long month for me, in a good way. Between multiple concerts and spending a lot of quality time with friends and family, it was an enjoyable and relaxing month. GLINT: Book 2 in the Plated Prisoner series. I’ll be doing a full review when I finish the series, but overall I felt pretty much the same about book 2 as I did for book 1. THE…

[spurgie-cousin]

ok i know i've been talking about Robyn a lot lol but I'm prepping for a deep dive video on her and I think I've finally figured her out:

Her mom was the secondary wife from the time she was 8 or 9, and secondary in the sense that her (step)dad didn't even claim her mom's family publicly. Likely under the guise of "I can't be public about being a polygamist or they'll throw me in jail" (which has been used to justify a lot of abuse in the fundie mormon community).

Anyway so she grew up being part of the less important family, which from everything I've seen *so far* is something she seems to justify publicly. But something like that has gotta do a number on anyone right, like imagine your dad not publicly acknowledging you until you're in your 30s (she was actually the exact age I am now)? Her stepfather though, who she considers her dad, was very very conservative and from everything I can see, he really drilled it into her head that polygamy was the most holy way to go, and that his actions were for the good of the entire family.

So like Christine has pointed out, she has never actually lived in a plural marriage setting where multiple moms and kids have to negotiate every day life, and that apparently wasn't something she was interested in learning or that Kody required of her when she married him. Despite that, she is an adamant advocate for plural marriage and basically all evidence points to the fact that she really does want to be considered a sister wife.

And lastly (and I say this objectively not hatefully) Robyn is a compulsive liar. She twists details about the past to fit a certain narrative in her head and this may be a hot take, but I don't really think she does it consciously or to be *knowingly* manipulative. Like in the last episode, she tells a blatant lie about Kody not wearing the gold ring Meri gave him when they first started dating (if you don't know that story let me know bc OOF is it a doozy). There's thousands of hours of video that proves her wrong, but if the ring story is true the way Meri, Christine, and Janelle tell it, the narrative of her not being responsible for the tremendous shift in the family dynamic can't be true.

So I really think her trauma response to her upbringing was to ignore, suppress, and reframe a situation until it resembles something that is not so painful, just like she did with her childhood. That's not to justify her behavior because as adults, it's our responsibility to be introspective and heal ourselves as much as we can, but I don't know why else someone would lie so often and so blatantly when they can be so easily proven wrong. Lying is like taking a Tylenol for a headache if the headache is painful truths about her life that she can't reconcile.

I think she really did want to live polygamy but the part of her she suppresses was definitely going to take advantage of any opportunity she got to be the primary wife. And not just for ego reasons, but maybe to avoid some of the pain her mother experienced. Almost like she was owed it bc of her past, and I think she dismisses the other wives legitimate concerns because her mom was "happy" and devoted to her husband and she had it way worse.

Anyway sorry to rant about Robyn Brown on a Tuesday lol but I'm mostly just thinking out loud and trying to organize my thoughts for my deep dive. If you have any Robyn thoughts or lesser known stories/pieces of info let me know‼️‼️😊