#book feedback

[woodpengu]

To the fans of ACoTaR...

I urge you to read The Black Jewels by Anne Bishop, the books Maas ripped names and ideas directly from. Not "took inspiration" from, definitely yoinked verbatim.

[unless content of an SA, pedo, or like behavior is triggering, then please don't subject yourself to reading the book; instead, seek out a synopsis or summary or video essay]

I read Black Jewels first (it came out first) but didn't give ACoTaR a try until too many people hounded me about not giving it a real try. So I did... and now - though it's not without flaws - I won't be swayed from deeming Black Jewels superior.

ACoTaR... ripped too much from too many places and left me a mighty disappointed bibliophile. Please stop recommending it to me.

[As a note: I read and enjoyed Throne of Glass, wishing it had been given more attention in the development stages, so it's not author bias; don't eat me]

[jebmungall]

About Antiphon: Fire and Stone

Antiphon: Fire and Stone is a fantasy novel I recently published. I’m quickly learning that writing the story was the fun part. Promoting it has been much less fun. Nevertheless, it’s a work that I’m proud of. Recently updated cover art for Antiphon: Fire and Stone featuring Kord Maratha It is set in the world of Irden, a world in a state of transition. While medieval fantasy is still…

[iwillreadyourbook]

YES, I WILL ACTUALLY READ YOUR BOOK.

I’m a self-published author who loves beta reading! And I’ve always loved giving feedback to my fellow authors.

For any up-and-coming authors looking for feedback, my DM’s are open!

SOME NOTES:

1. I work full time and write my own work under a pen name. So if you aren’t paying me, don’t expect any sort of concrete timeline.

2. You do get expedited service if you pay for it. You’ll have to ask me for my pricing.

3. No personal queries/DMs. I’m taken and I just like beta reading. Let’s keep it to that.

[filurig]

so i might be making a picture book about my blorbos for uni...

[writingwithfolklore]

Questions from Beta Readers are Rhetorical

You know when people leave you questions on your work during the feedback process like, “why is she doing this?” or “who is this again?” or “how does this relate to what was just said?” You’re not meant to reply back and answer those.

They aren’t asking because they want you to explain it to them—or at least, that’s not very helpful to the actual work. They’re asking because something in the manuscript is unclear. Most readers won’t have the benefit of having you next to them to answer questions as they go—the work has to hold up on its own. If something is unclear, it should be addressed in the text, it’s pretty useless if it’s addressed only in your answer back to your beta reader.

So actually, when people ask me questions about my manuscript, I don’t answer them at all. I go back into the work and try to clarify, and then I have them read it again. If they have the same question, it means I need to try again until the confusion is cleared up.

Sometimes the people I edit for reply back with paragraphs of explanation, and I tell them that it’s great that they understand it, but I don’t need or want them to explain it to me afterward. I was asking the question so they knew what exactly was unclear to me (a bit more helpful than saying “this is confusing”). I want the understanding to come from just reading the piece.

That being said, some beta readers might want you to chat about it further with them—it’s up to you guys! But if you don’t also address the question in the work, you’re not doing yourself or your piece any favours.

[heretoobsessstuff]

“we’re all gonna miss major Cleven, sir”.

Major Cleven John thought bitterly. Gale. Sweet beautiful Gale. Gale who was there. In the cockpit. Fighting for his life while John was sleeping next to a random woman. Gale who was falling from the sky. Living his last moments. Losing blood. In pain. Scared and cold and alone. While John was here in London. Drinking and coaxing a random woman to spend more time in his bed. Where was Gale now? His Gale. Laying on the dirt and mud somewhere? Lost in some distant German field with no one to look for him? His ocean blue eyes forever closed? What had become of him? Of his Gale? Was anything even left of him?

John felt sick with anger. His thoughts ran wild with no one to tame them. I should’ve never left him alone. I should’ve been up there with him. Protecting him. Looking out for him. It was supposed to be me and him left up in the sky. Not me in London and him lost somewhere I can never reach. It’s all my fault. I failed him. I failed him. Grief clawing at his throat. Suffocating him. His eyes stinging with unshed tears and the lump he had swollen down a hundred times with the alcohol. He needed to go. Avenge Buck. Or find him. Or join him. Wherever he was.

“Don’t worry Kenny” he said. Jumping into the Jeep. Hands shaking. “I don’t even feel it”.

Read Another drabble from Gale’s POV here:

[mikiib]

Pomni Possessed by Bill Cipher >:3c What do you like better? With or without the shading?

I, uh... Couldn't stop at just ONE outfit. First one was my original color pallet, then I tried to make a yellow suit - inspired by Playdough (the clay). I changed the eyes back to white because it was just- TOO MUCH YELLOW. Then lastly for all my fellow showtime shippers- "How do I look, Caine?"

[littlecrow4]

How we feeling about this??? Good? Bad?

Part of a fic I’m writing

[squoobest]

this pleasant étoile shows up at your door

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi! I'm a big fan of your blog and love reading all of your posts. You always have such interesting perspectives and incredibly thoughtful points to add! I'm not quite sure if you're open to answering questions like this right now, and if not, feel free to ignore! But I was wondering if you have any information about the Island of Woe and what life is like there? Like do they ever have to import or export things, do they have more there than just S.T.Y.X to keep them occupied/entertained, etc.? I was trying to figure it out myself and all that I learned was that most people live on the upper walls in the Oceanus section. Do the Shrouds live there too, or do they live within the S.T.Y.X. headquarters? And do they ever have to travel for their jobs, beyond the little mishap that happened in Book 6?

Anyways, again, totally disregard this if you don't want to answer! Thank you for even reading this. I look forward to seeing more of your posts and enjoying your writing and input!

Aaaah, thank you!! ^^ Glad you enjoy my content, whatever it may be!

The bulk of lore for the Isle/Island of Woe comes to us from 6-40 of the main story. We (comparatively) have more information about Styx and how it is run, so I had to isolate what lore is about the island itself + life on the island and what lore is about the organization.

To begin with, here is a map of the area:

Most of the island residents don’t live in Ancient City at the seabed level. Instead, people tend to live in the residential block of Oceanus, which is the outer wall which covers the island. (This is how Ortho describes it to us in game, but it’s sort of confusing what exactly he’s referring to since we don’t see land above the water; based on Epel’s dialogue, the “outer wall” may refer to the upper levels. This means that technically all of the Island of Woe is underwater.)

Ancient City refers to the seabed level of the Island of Woe: It seems to be the community that surrounds Styx HQ, which lies at the center.

The giant pillar in the middle of the city connects to Oceanus Gate, the entrance at the surface of the water, and ends in Tartarus at the other end.

Trains, elevators, and Styx-made technomantic flying vehicles called Chariots are used for transportation. (I assume that only Styx agents are allowed to use Chariots, but this isn’t made clear.)

There is an artificial sky over the isle. This is because natural light provides mental and physical benefits to humans.

Styx makes efforts to use advanced technologies to emulate life on land. This results in the Island of Woe having seasons, weather, forests, and rivers even at the bottom of the sea.

Idia’s post-OB flashback implies that there may be strong security systems in place not only in Styx HQ, but also around the entire island (since he talks about wanting to leave the island and having to disarm the security in order to achieve that; Styx is also shown to control the Oceanus Gate and therefore controls entry to and from the isle).

Going hand-in-hand with the previous bullet point, Ortho states that it’s dangerous to wander the area.

The architecture is a remainder of the Island of Woe’s olden days as part of the Kingdom of Heroes. The buildings are relics there have been well-preserved.

The entire isle used to be spoken of by the common man as like… some kind of superstition or boogeyman?? Lilia tells us that “People believed the Island of Woe would punish any wizard who abandoned their principles and went mad with power.” This is attributed to the isle’s origins as being the place where the Jupiter family sentenced the Phantoms in the Age of the Gods (a period of time in which mages were feared and the relationship between magic and blot was not yet established). Since Styx is not an organization that the general public knows about, it’s possible that the public assumed residents of the isle themselves were vigilante agents of justice against mad mages.

Idia describes the Island of Woe as "filled with the lamentations of give billion people [...] It's dark and gloomy 365 days a year." He also refers to the island as his hometown.

The Island of Woe has bugs, but different kinds than what you would see in the outside world.

To address your specific questions (and please keep in mind that these points are not directly answered in TWST and instead relies on inferencing):

Do they have to import or export things?

While the island does receive sunlight and have seasons + varied weather, I don’t think they’d be entirely self-sufficient depending on the population size and its needs. Styx seems to run the show, but I’d imagine they need to focus their efforts on research and not food production or something. This could easily be automated with tech, I guess??? But some things they just couldn’t get, even with automation. They may have to import some stuff from the outside, though I imagine there are multiple security measures in place to convolute the supply chain and to keep the location of the Island of Woe hidden.

I’m not sure about exports since the island isn’t noted to produce anything significant (other than Styx tech, which I’d imagine they want to keep confidential).

Do they have more there than just S.T.Y.X to keep them occupied/entertained, etc.?

Being that there’s an entire city down there, yes, I’d have to think that the people don’t just work all day. Idia himself is one huge example; how did he get into anime, games, idols, etc. if no entertainment exists in the isle? We even see him as a child playing his beloved Star Rogue in his post-OB flashback scene—and his childhood bedroom is also littered with other signs of his hobbies and interests. Ortho has also mentioned that their family celebrates birthdays and go on outings to parks and such. This implies to me that there are definitely recreational activities around on the isle.

Do the Shrouds live there too, or do they live within the S.T.Y.X. headquarters?

I believe the implication is that the Shrouds technically live in Styx HQ. (A researcher remarks that “Idia hasn’t come out of his room for over two years now” while the background shows the Styx interior.) I’m not sure if this is true of the entire Shroud family, but I think it would make sense if they did since it would add to their vibes of isolation and gloom.

Additionally, it’s stated that it benefits the Shrouds to reside in a blot-dense area like Styx HQ so that their hereditary curse burns through blot in their immediate surroundings rather than burning through their own magic (and potentially life force). I don’t think the Shrouds are forced to stay IN Styx HQ all the time though; they clearly leave and explore the seabed city since Ortho says their family used to go on trips like that.

Do they ever have to travel for their jobs, beyond the little mishap that happened in Book 6?

I don’t know how often travel for work occurs, but it does happen. Styx agents are deployed as needed to secure Phantoms, as well as to speak with important figures. Leona, for example, mentions seeing Ferrymen lurking at the palace of the Sunset Savanna.

[physalian]

The Dos and Don’ts of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism

Some of these should be painfully obvious and yet. They come from experience.

Receiving feedback:

Do

Understand that a criticism of a character’s thoughts, actions, morality, and choices are likely not a criticism of you as an author, unless the character is an author insert

Understand that they are being paid to critique how successfully you told an entertaining story, not pander to your trauma dumping

Understand that critiquing a book’s success as an entertaining story means that how much you yourself connect with or love a character or scene or plotline is irrelevant if it doesn’t make a compelling narrative

You might have written your book for yourself. Your editor is a different person with their own human biases and perspectives. If you just want to pay someone to stoke your ego, make that 100% clear up front.

Stand up for yourself and clarify where necessary if some details were overlooked or if explaining outside the narrative can better contextualize anything confusing or lacking detail.

Stand up for yourself in what feedback you are expecting, and what degree of criticism you’re willing to endure. An editor can let more or less of their own views show depending on what you ask for.

Stand up for yourself if your editor delivers inadequate or useless feedback. You’re paying them for a job, and you deserve to have it done properly.

Try to separate dislike of a book from dislike of yourself. It’s not easy, but the goal is to fix your book that you’ve already spent a lot of time writing, and they’re only trying to help.

Remember that your author insert is subjected to the same level of criticism as any other character, and that you asked for this.

Keep an open mind and be prepared for feedback that you don’t like, because you can’t please everyone. Your editor should be able to tell you whether or not a scene or character, or plotline works separate from their own personal tastes.

Don’t

Argue with your editor over their religiosity or lack thereof and insist that adhering to genre expectations means they “worship the god of [genre]”. (really, argue with your editor over anything like this, e.g. their own sexuality, religiosity, gender, socioeconomic status).

Argue with your editor while still expecting more work from them as if your aggression will in any way positively impact their perception of your book.

Insult your editor’s intelligence for not understanding your jargon and attempts to sound smarter than you are.

Get mad when your editor sees right through your BS and calls it like they see it, specifically your self-insert Mary Sue protagonist.

Insist that the solution to better understanding your book is for that editor to do extensive homework on your niche topic. If it’s a niche book for niche audiences, hire an editor who’s already knowledgeable about that niche topic.

Equate a bad review and opinion of the book with unprofessionalism. These can overlap, but they are not interchangeable.

Forget that your book is probably meant for leisure and entertainment, and your audience is under no obligation to read “until it gets good,” when they can go do literally anything else. Your first job is to entertain, if you write fiction.

Giving Feedback:

Do

Pay attention to your client’s wants and needs and expectations. If they’re more sensitive to bad feedback, do your best and stay as objective as possible. You can’t please everyone, either.

Helpful feedback includes an explanation of why an element needs work and how it can be improved. Saying “I hate this” with nothing else helps no one and just makes the author feel bad with no direction of how to make it better.

Communicate beforehand how much of your own personality your author wants from you. Do they like personal opinions and your personal reactions to the text, or do they want it as impersonal as possible and solely focused on the structure of the narrative? This might avoid a mess.

Remember to leave notes of where things worked well to balance the criticism. Even a simple “this is good” highlighting a line or a paragraph or two helps keep authors motivated to keep writing. I firmly believe that no book is completely unsalvageable.

Make it painfully clear with no room for debate that criticism of a character is not criticism of the author, unless it's an author insert, in which case the author absolutely asked for it.

Make it clear that you are just one person and these are all suggestions, not laws.

Don’t

Let your own personal opinions cloud your judgment of whether or not someone with different tastes could enjoy the book.

Unless given permission, get too personal with the narrative and reach beyond what’s written on the page.

Do more than what you’re paid for. You’re an editor, not a therapist for the writer’s trauma dumping.

Forget to wrap up all your thoughts in a condensed format that the author can reference, as opposed to endlessly scrolling through the manuscript trying to summarize your points for you.

Walk away with absolutely nothing positive to say about the manuscript. Even if it’s awful on every front, the writer still tried and that deserves merit.

This is from my personal experience beta and sensitivity reading, and dealing with other beta and sensitivity readers. We are all human and these jobs are not one-size-fits-all and there aren’t really hardline rules as every author, editor, and manuscript is different with different needs.

Just some things to keep in mind.

But also, for the authors who do write self-insert Mary Sues: You are in for a very rude awakening if you expect anyone other than yourself to adore your book with zero criticism. If you really just want someone to proofread and look for typos, tell them.

[beepbooopbooop]

Bill Cipher/GN! reader

I lowkey hate humanized Bill but for the sake of this he's going to be humanized but don't imagine him like all super conventionally attractive and skinny more like what he embodies like how he'd see himself ig?

Warnings: none really?? You just put him in his place lmao, based off a dream I had, reader is a being as powerful as him but not defined to be anything in particular. This is BEFORE the series takes place BUT after stanford!! Uhm basically Bill gets into another situationship??? He cares more than he wants to he's emotionally repressed uhhh au! Maybe??

To say that he wasn't manipulative and evil would be unrealistic however that didn't mean he hadn't possessed emotions or faults....at least....not that he knew of...

The multidimensional dream demon couldn't admit many emotions beacuse to him it was at the cost of his own ego. He couldn't have that then he'd just be like one of those fleshy freaks all weak and stupid. He wasn't like that. The thrash of water hitting rocks was loud and hard, much like the inner workings of his mind when he spiraled. Bill stood up and dusted off his suit jacket, he looked similar to a scumy casino manger,stubble on his face and he smelled of cigarettes and alcohol.

This was a testament to his oh so sudden betrayal as he would put it. Although it had been more than that but it practically burned his insides reminiscing on it. The wind and rain is slapping the leaves around, the sound is dark and cold and he is uncomfortable feeling everything and nothing all at once. A figure stands out in all this they border between the realm of reality yet not really having too much of a physical form, much like himself. Bill snaps around as the sound of his hat hitting the grass alerts the figure. Someone with an umbrella and an ethereal glow, someone he'd known distantly

Your voice is thick and deep almost as if it overpowers the weather and hits him in the gut. "Well.Well.Well. what do we have here" it escapes your lips seeping into his very being. Bill looks up his eye striking your own as he grumbles incoherently a bit snapping at you. "Woah there, watch yourself" you say sternly folding your umbrella making him look up at you. Bill grits through his teeth as he speaks "what do YOU want? Leave me alone before I try and rip apart your being" you scoff at that quite honestly. You both were similar both two sides of the same coin...but without missing a beat you say "I don't think you really want that" and from there...the situation spiraled into something that wasn't quite hatred...

[pannathottafughoe]

Right, so I don't know if this can be said for the Japanese version, but whenever I revisit the English translation of Purple Haze Feedback I always find myself pleasantly amused by the prose.

It is surprisingly well-written for a light novel based on an obscure character from the side-quest JoJo part.

The prose is dry and straightforward in an entertaining way that's fitting for Fugo’s POV. It's how I imagine he sees the world. It's lowkey but you can palpably feel just how done he is with everything and everyone. Fugo's annoyance is the undercurrent of the entire novel. I feel like after every interaction he's staring sarcastically into the camera like they do in The Office. God I love this book.

[dykedvonte]

I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.

Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.

[writingwithfolklore]

You don’t need thick skin to be a writer

              One thing you’ll hear a lot is that to be a professional writer/artist/etc. is that you have to have thick skin. This isn’t true. Or at least, it’s not entirely true.

              You’re allowed to feel upset when you get negative feedback on your work. You’re allowed to cry, or scream into a pillow, or want to destroy your work and your laptop and give up on your dreams. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel in the moment.

              What you actually need as a writer is not to numb these feelings out, but to make sure you don’t act on them. Cry, but don’t beg your editor or beta reader to take back their comments. Scream into a pillow, but don’t argue with the people who gave you feedback. Shut your laptop and think about getting rid of your work, but please please don’t actually delete anything.

              Because really, to be a writer isn’t to have thick skin but rather the determination and courage to keep going despite negative feedback. To critically reflect on feedback rather than just tossing it out because it upset you, and to keep your work even if you’re frustrated with it. If you can keep going, you can be a writer—no matter what your initial emotional reaction is.

[pangur-and-grim]

okay I’ve been rewriting the same paragraphs over and over for days like an insane person, but I think this is it. I think I can send this (just gotta personalize it for each agent)

though obviously if you see any flaws, or have critiques, etc, I’m still very open to that!