#bonus points if they put spikes in front of it

[ao3topshipsbracket]

Bonus statistics: the Really Funny Graph Awards

As I've pointed out before, it's often hard to notice voter fraud— even in large quantities— if you can't see, not just how many votes came in, but when and in what patterns. Accusations of fraud don't track fraud, they track controversy; the most fraud often happens in polls that nobody particularly objects to, because nobody was paying attention.

Unless you have a graph in front of you. Fortunately, we do! So here's a brief review of the graphs that made it very, very clear to the mod team group chat that someone was playing silly buggers.

Round 1:

Davekat vs Zolu would almost even look natural, if it weren't for that enormous spike at the day 4 mark. But what a spike! And Akeshu vs Supercorp has those spikes in the middle, but the beginning stages of the graph look maybe fine... if you weren't watching for the first two days, and didn't get to see the progression:

Round 2:

This, on the other hand, couldn't be mistaken for natural by anyone. Look at this nonsense. The stairstep lines! The sharpness of the peaks! The sharpness of the dropoffs, which is how you can tell that this isn't just the poll being reblogged by large accounts, it is one person putting in truly insane amounts of effort! The fraud continuing long after Hualian had a significant lead, apparently just to make sure Buddie couldn't possibly launch a counteroffensive! Isn't it beautiful!

Round 4-5:

And once again, Hualian voters— or, well, some particular Hualian voter— goes nuts. Usually in 1-day polls, the votes come in fast enough that even with a graph it's hard to see if anything's gone wonky. Not so here; that bend in both graphs at around the same time, where I can only assume our frauder stopped for the night and went to bed, is a work of art.

Round 6:

No visible irregularities in the graphs (I assume they were just happy with getting to the semifinals?) but I did see this ask pop up:

I didn't see responses from anyone who took them up on it.

Real talk: This sort of thing is the reason I run poll brackets. This is proof that one person with insane dedication and a lot of time really can be the backbone of a fandom. This is, and I know this is melodramatic but I am being entirely sincere here, a chart of human passion.

Davekat, Akeshu, and especially Hualian— someone loves you very, very much.

[kitscutie]

amicable (drew starkey x reader)

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗐 ꜱ𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗄𝖾𝗒 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀ꜱ: 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝗉𝗅𝖾 ꜱ𝗎𝗂𝗍 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗐 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖺𝗐𝗍

ꜱ𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗏𝖺𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝗂𝗋 '𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋' 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗐 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝖺ꜱ𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝖮𝖡𝖷 ᖯ𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 Ⅾ𝗋𝖾𝗐.

𝖺/𝗇: 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 ꜱ𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂'𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 ꜱ𝗈 𝖨 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒. 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺 ꜱ𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗐 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗍𝗆 :𝗉

Everybody in the cast was extremely excited for this interview as is included everyone together which very rarely happened sadly.

Drew was dressed in a lavender suit which made your heart swoon, he was so handsome and somehow suited any colour his stylists shoved him in, nevertheless he looked especially good today.

"You feeling okay?" He asked as he took his seat next to you in the top row of seats above Austin, Carlacia, Madison and Chase. He knew the nerves you got before interviews, sadly you didn't have the best experiences with interviews. Constantly picking yourself apart during and after.

You never knew if you had spoken too much or too little. Too loudly or too quietly. However, since you started dating a member of the same cast as you it became a lot easier, his presence enough to pull you back in times of need.

"Yeah, it's nice to have everyone together." You smiled, grabbing his hand to help him up into the seat.

He smiled back and took a sip from his water bottle, before putting it down he offered some to you which you gladly accepted while listening to the crew around you prepare.

"Good, we're on in a couple minutes." He replied, screwing the lid back on the bottle and placing it at the legs of the stools you sat on.

You watched as Madelyn was taken to the chair at the front, separate from the rest, and realised the interview was most likely starting earlier than expected.

Hearing the camera men begin to count down Drew sent you a comforting smile as well as two pats to your thigh which was partially exposed between the slit of your dress.

"I'm Madelyn Cline and we are the cast of Outer Banks, and we are here to test how well we know each other." She finished with a relieved sigh after multiple failed attempts.

Everybody in the room laughed all while clapping, Drew even let out a few wolf whistles which made you laugh ten times harder, he was one of those people that you found hilarious no matter what he did, and finally the interview began.

By the end of Madelyn's round you had one point for knowing her second favourite astrological sign though this was the round that would pull you in the most points. Drew.

"Purple Nurple, in the hot seat." Chase said as Drew sat down which made you burst into laughter all over again while Drew sent you a dirty look, but the fact he wasn't truly mad was given away by his smirk.

"First question, what's my secret talent?" He asked, deadpan. "Bonus, where did I learn my talent."

Everybody in the room turned to look at you though you were squinting in thought. "I'm not sure you have loads." You said innocently, though it seemed to sound dirty as everyone else began to laugh while Rudy repeated 'woah' for a couple of minutes.

"I just mean he has a lot of weird talents to it could be any!" You defended, blushing face buried in your hands as Drew reached over to rub your knee gently, though even he was laughing.

"Guitar, piano, it's an instrument." Madison said, which was true, he did play a few instruments but it could of been any of them.

"Write it down, cause what's happening right now is were just giving you ideas." Carlacia said, always the voice of reason.

"I feel like I should know this." You said under your breath, feeling a tad bad for having no clue which one he would write.

"You do know it baby, I do it around the house." He said while writing.

Your heart rate spiked hearing his use of the pet name in an interview, knowing it would be mentioned in the comments, but seeing as no one else mentioned it you relaxed and continued on with the game.

"All right my secret talent, I do think someone said it, uh- Rudy, it's juggling." He revealed and you could've kicked yourself in the face. Of course it was.

"Who's my favourite Outer Banks character?" Was the next question and you smirked while the rest of the cast all said y/c/n in unison, before bursting into laughter.

"No, it's Barry." You answered after the giggles had died down.

He began to write again, a smile on his face. "It's those gold teeth, they really get you going."

"Let's stop playing around." Jonathan said to the camera, everybody shipped Rafe and Barry so it had become a sort of inside joke.

"If I could live anywhere in the world where would I live." He asked, making direct eye contact with you and signalled to zip your lips. You chuckled before zipping your own and throwing away the key. This was one you very obviously knew seeing as you currently lived together and so you didn't want to give it away so easily.

"I'm tempted to say bikini bottom, but..." Carlacia started.

"North Carolina." Jonathan and Madelyn said at the same time, before laughing. They had seen the card.

"Ashville, North Carolina. That's my favourite place on earth. The Outer Banks." He smiled to the camera and you couldn't help but think he was adorable. You too cherished that place dearly and so you had both spoken about moving there.

Moving back into his seat next to you, he gave you a high five, signalling you had done well.

Finally, at the end of the interview it was your turn and the cast hooted as you got into the talking seat. You smiled at their antics before beginning your questions.

"Who is my celebrity crush?" You asked, smiling and trying not to laugh as Drew looked incredibly cocky, though he knew the real answer.

"Drew Starkey." Rudy shouted, making everybody laugh though they quickly went back to thinking.

"C'mon Maddy we watched one of his movies the other day." You hinted, her face twisted in thought and then realisation.

"Oh my god, I can't remember his name!" She yelled, desperately while everyone else laughed at her downfall.

"Drew please just spoil it." Chase asked after no one could remember and Madelyn was on the verge of an aneurism.

"Dylan O'brien." He revealed, a cheeky but pleased smile on his face as he was very comfortable in your relationship and knew it was something you had spoken about on live before.

"Tut tut, I expected better." You joked. "Okay, what is my birthmark and where is it?" You revealed the next question.

"This is rigged!" Carlacia shouted as they were all relatively intimate questions which Drew would most likely know.

"Hey! It's not my fault I'm a good boyfriend." He faux-pouted.

"Don't listen to 'em Joseph, they are just ashamed they're crappy friends." You sighed jokingly, bowing your head and pretending to be sad.

"No! I actually know it. It's on the inside of your arm and it's a heart." Rudy proudly stated, though everyone knew not to ask as he had seen it when your character and JJ were filming a not so PG scene. Awkward.

"Correct! A real friend." You grinned, blowing a kiss to him which Drew pretended to reach out and grab before it reached him which once again, gave everyone the giggles.

The winner was announced as Madison as you and Drew jokingly sulked at the back.

"This is blasphemy!" Carlacia yelled and then the cameras cut, just missing Drew picking you up bridal style and running away in protest of the loss.

[sleepingdeath-light]

hades smut hcs ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (17/05/23)

fandom(s) ; disney’s hercules

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; hades

outline ; “hiii :] i was wondering if you could write some nsfw and sfw hcs of hades (disneys version) being your s/o? thank you so much!!!! im 19 btw, less then a month from turning 20!”

warning(s) ; sexually explicit content, dom!hades, temperature play, impact play, orgasm denial, edging, punishments, hand jobs, bondage (including with the use of a pillory), pet name kink (sir / my king), dirty talk, public teasing, collaring and leashing, choking kink, oral sex (male receiving)

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

hades is a dominant person by nature because of his desire to be in control and in a position of power over others — which lends itself to him being a very strict dom both in and out of the bedroom who isn’t afraid to punish you for acting out of turn

his go to final punishment (i.e. his last resort punishment after you’ve exhausted his warnings) is putting you in a pillory and subjecting you to all sorts of sensation play: light burning with just his hands combined with open palm spanking whilst making you count each hit, playing with your [pussy/cock] until you’re on the edge of climax before pulling away and repeating that several times over until you’re sobbing and begging for release, making you state your ‘offences’ whilst he plays with you and stopping every time you stutter or make a mistake to make you start over again, etc.

of course he’s mindful of your boundaries and will stop when your safe word is called, but before that point he’s very strict with punishments when it comes to you

he loves it when you’re vocal, especially if you call him things along the lines of ‘sir’ or ‘my king’ — the former lends to your dom/sub dynamic and will cause him to praise you for your obedience, and the latter will get you fucked stupid because he really loves when you highlight the role he is owed

hades is the absolute king of dirty talk and knows exactly what to say to drive you mad and arouse you in front of others without ever laying a hand on you — or what to say when he’s deep inside of you just to make you whimper or sob for him

he definitely gets off on seeing you in positions of complete submission — such as when you’re kneeling with your wrists tied behind your back, mouth open and ready to suck him off as he sits on his makeshift throne (bonus points if you have a collar and leash on for him to tug on and choke you every few seconds just to feel your pulse spike)

for as dominant as he is, hades is also extremely playful with you in the bedroom: teasing, mimicking some of the little sounds you make, joking around with you, and just generally making you laugh and keeping the mood relatively light — he’s still in charge, make no mistake about that, but when he’s not punishing you he’s also got an affinity for having fun in the bedroom

[theamityelf]

vampire komakamuegi au What if Makoto started looking at meat in disgust. I feel like he'd see the meat as himself in the blood sucking shit. Vegetarian makoto And, how do the others survivors support makoto bc being the vampire hosts' 'favorite' can't be easy.

This is a great question. I could definitely see him walking into the kitchen while Hiro is cooking some kind of meat, seeing the red in it, and just really feeling woozy and repulsed. Bonus points if it's the morning after he's been fed on and he was already feeling kind of out of sorts before he saw the meat.

Nagito and Izuru have to make sure to supplement his diet with things like eggs and beans to make sure he's still getting enough protein.

As for the other survivors:

Kyoko is doing her best to plan out an escape. She can't talk about it out loud with the vampires in the house, so when she needs to loop the others in, there's a lot of hastily-scribbled notes that later get burned to ashes, on the stove.

The acuteness with which the vampires seem to notice when the humans are feeling especially hopeful means she has to be careful; if she told everyone 'We're going to escape tomorrow,' the vampires would know something was up when everyone suddenly smelled tastier than usual. (She could tell Byakuya, since he wouldn't have too strong an emotional reaction until a plan actually starts working, and she could tell Hina, since her emotional reactions are always strong anyway, so a spike in hope from her could mean they're escaping tomorrow or she remembered she left half a sandwich in the refrigerator.)

As far as directly supporting Makoto, she can't always keep him in the loop about what's going on, but she checks in on him and remains vigilant about how much time he's spending with the vampires. When Nagito or Izuru tries to subtly separate Makoto from the group, Kyoko notices immediately and protests to it. If she overhears them in Makoto's room at night (and she sleeps with her door open for that exact purpose), she knocks on Makoto's door loudly to make sure they can't get lost in the moment.

Through the locked door, she calls out, "Makoto, are you okay in there?" If he's too drained to answer, she picks the lock and lets herself in. She can't stop the vampires physically, but she can potentially cramp their style enough that they leave. Next time there will be a chair blocking the door in addition to the lock, though, so she needs to use this skill sparingly. (Also, Nagito might take to feeding on Kyoko earlier, on days where he knows Izuru is going to feed on Makoto, so she's too tired to interrupt.)

Initially, Byakuya's main way of helping Makoto was by calling out Nagito's weird behavior toward him. Basically, trying to (for lack of a better word) kink-shame Nagito into leaving Makoto alone. This did succeed in dissuading Nagito from being too openly bloodthirsty in front of the others, since he knows Byakuya will just consistently ruin the moment, but ultimately it just moved the behavior behind closed doors.

Byakuya is pretty openly testing out what kills vampires. He might set Nagito's sleeve on fire, but Nagito just casually puts it out. He might casually try to stake him, which also doesn't work. This is treated very matter-of-factly by all parties involved; it's not even an "Oops, it didn't work," kind of thing; Byakuya just crosses something off his list and moves on.

And Byakuya is often telling the others to check on Makoto or stay with Makoto, if he can't do so himself. When he can be around Makoto himself, they sit close together and he glares at any vampire who enters the room.

Hiro and Hina stay positive, both as a means of keeping the energy up for their eventual escape and lowkey because it means Makoto isn't the only one with appetizing blood. Kyoko does this a bit, too. At first, Hiro was really scared of being bitten, but after the first few times, he's just slightly off-put by it. And being a good sport about it, again, takes some of the heat off Makoto.

Hina specifically is the first to pick up on the fact that they can use Nagito's adoration for Makoto to earn more stuff. Like, if Makoto isn't eating all that much, Kyoko or Byakuya would initially chalk it up to him not wanting to have his blood sucked, but Hina will observe, "It's because you don't have any of his favorite foods in the fridge! How come he's giving you your favorite food if you won't give him his?" And they get a better variety of food. She's also the one who first argued that they need to be allowed to open windows for fresh air. Basically, while Kyoko and Byakuya are focused on finding a way to escape and finding a way to be safe once they do escape, Hina is covering the conditions they're living in now.

Toko is doing a little bit of all these things; she's trying to stay alert, and she's staying positive by her standards (just very determined to not be deadweight). She's new to being a part of a social group, so she isn't really sure how to help, so it usually takes the form of staying with Makoto when Kyoko or Byakuya asks her to. Like, if the other survivors are leaving the room for some reason and Makoto has to stay behind, Kyoko will ask Toko to stay with Makoto.

And when he's feeling unwell, maybe they all sleep in his room to make sure the vampires don't mess with him.

[kendrixtermina]

The Hamburg Defamation Case Update

To summarize from here:

What was ruled as defamation:

the I dare say obviously fictional 'hearsay' stories from "a friend of a friend who knew a former crewmember", such as the italian man story, the idea that they called it a 'slut parade', Till & richard arguing over some girl. Frankly it's ridiculous they even printed that. Obvious fiction, exaggeration, no one behaved like an actual human, tons of ambulances called but no one noticed?

spiking with KO drops (only ever claimed by Shelby, who was on meds that shouldn't be mixed with tons of booze, kind of caused a mass panic where people who were drunk or saw drunk people (Kayla) retroactively wondered if there may have been drugs involved - plus every single witness has confirmed the “bottles opened in front of guests” thing)

That the parties were intended primarily as sex things / to get Till potential partners or that people were deliberately gotten drunk with the intention to sexually prey on them/ that sex was expected (which is consistent with statements of loads of former party-goers on social media that they were just normal parties where he occasionally hit on someone)

What they're still allowed to write: (in the sense that it was ruled 'plausible enough' and/or 'in the public interest')

that Till may have sex with people in at least potentially questionable states of drunkenness (seems all but indisputable at this point, multiple accounts with affidavits)

that there was a 'system' where people were explicitly 'recruited' to parties with booze and some chance of later sexual contact - hm. Certainly technically true it was the case that influencers or just ppl from the metal scene in the town the concert was in were contacted on insta (also confirmed by posters here) but with that word choice allowed one wonders if it will be sufficiently distinguished from the third bullet point above. 'Inviting people to parties where there may be booze & flirting' =/= 'inviting people with the explicit purpose of perving on them'. There is booze and flirting in most parties, after all, some even have discounts for women.  the main point of row zero was ultimately to have some pretty, rocker-looking ppl standing in front of the stage so it looks good on photos, bonus points if they're influencers or something. So there's nothing per se nefarious about contacting pretty, rocker-looking ppl on insta. I suppose some might find it objectifying to put up attractive ppl as 'decoration' but they're getting free booze, backstage passes & exclusive invitations out of it so no different from being a model really.

This is all just related to the case with Till for now.

The stuff that was ruled defamation wouldn't have been dismissed if it wasn't too ridiculously lacking in evidence to even consider reasonable report, and the criminal investigation will only be stricter about evidence.

So unless some wild new unprecedented evidence turns up now suddenly several weeks in, I think we can confidently say at this point: 

Roofies thing 100% debunked

the idea that it was some bordello-like thing where ppl were deliberately picked to be pressured into sexual stuff, 100% debunked.

& having drunken sex in a hotel room, whether criminally relevant or not, is something any guy can do, so definitely not 'abuse of power'. (that would be, like, making your goons restrain someone or threatening their job etc.) - the moment it's just you & him alone somewhere he's the same as any lowly mortal. (Lowly mortals, of course, can still do ordinary crimes.)

We (or rather, the prosecutors) shall see about the rest, I guess.

Regardless of particular conclusions (I don't think I'm fully decided where I fall either, yet, i dont want to form biased, emotion-based conclusions and get attached to them), at least we all gotta agree that even if they’re guilty of some stuff,  we're dealing with a very different claim and level of potential ambiguity, severity and intent.

Any sane person would consider roofies or being pressured in a locked room to be rape, but drunk (but still walking & talking) is more of a gray zone.

Most ppl would say when someone is full on incoherent or unconscious & this was outwardly recognizable it’s obviously rape but almost no one would say that about being, like, slightly tipsy, and realistically, lots of people have shitfaced sex & consider it totally normal. These are evidently situations where everyone was smashed. No one’s gonna argue that this was the world’s most responsible behavior

So it depends on details & specifics that hopefully will be brought forth by fair judges asking the actual involved people non-leading questions. 

Defamations against jerks is still defamation even if it’s, say, calling a dude a serial killer if he only killed one guy. its not about defending anyone its about truth & logic. 

Far and wide you see people reacting as if the first three points were indisputably true seeing as they have been repeated over and over in the tabloids. Death threats, vandalism, random fans being accosted for wearing t shirts, calling for boycotts of any nightclub that lets them in (ironically with Michael Jackson T-shirts for sale nearby) ... this isnt rule of law, guys. 

They even pulled Flake’s book from circulation on spotify which, like... even actual undisputed criminals shouldn’t lose the right to publish books. If there is ANY way that any citizen can be deprived of free speech, you create an incentive for that to be applied to people one wants to silence. 

You can buy books of war criminals & murderers. You can get the memoirs of OJ Simpson and the Austrian Incest Case guy, for crying out loud!  & most ppl who do that are probably motivated by morbid curiosity & wanting to know how a crazy person thinks, not any desire of “supporting” them. Understanding people is not condoning them, indeed understanding crime is how you stop & prevent crime, so this kind of censorship wouldn’t be ok even if they were guilty. 

Also don’t think for a moment that the labels, companies etc. care so much about morals (michael jackson... still on spotify), it’s about avoiding controversy for advertisers because ads & corporations rule everything and rage gets more clicks than anything. 

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Could Be Useful (short story)

Bella-May paced back and forth, her tail lashing and her fur spiked. “I can’t believe this! Outdone by a kittypet!”

Her great-grandson, Myrtlewing, watched her with a passive gaze as he groomed Alderstar’s fur, who’s eyes were half-closed. “Are you sure you’re not being dramatic?” 

Bella-May glared at him, her eyes narrowing further when she noticed the teasing glint on his face. She had come here hoping that Myrtlewing might share her feelings, unlike Houndtooth, but so far it didn’t seem as though her kin cared a whisker. “You know it’s frustrating!”

Myrtlewing shrugged. “How much did she kill?”

Bella-may bristled. “More than me!” 

“I don’t see the importance,” Myrtlewing replied. He paused from his grooming to do so, and Alderstar lifted his sleepy head to grunt in displeasure. Myrtlewing reasumed licking the back of his neck. Alderstar began to purr, resting his head back on his front paws. Meanwhile, Bella-May was holding back a hiss of frustration.

Myrtlewing dipped his head. “I get it, Bella-Ma. You had one of the best kill counts of all the residences, and now someone new comes along–”

“Named Styrofoam!”

“--Named Styrofoam, and takes that achievement from you. You can’t do much about it, because you’re dead. Well, you can lure living cats or kill the dead here, no difference to me, but I guess the distinction might matter to you.”

“You know what matters to me?” Alderstar murmured, eyes still shut. “Getting a good cleaning.”

Myrtlewing cuffed him playfully around the ears, then bent to groom them anyway. 

Bella-May bit the inside of her lip. Her kin was right, logically, but emotionally, she wanted to smack him for not agreeing with her. “No, it’s not the same to me. Does it not bother you?”

Myrtlewing shrugged again. “I don’t see why it should. It never mattered to me how many cats I killed, that was only a bonus. What mattered was how much fun I had.” Myrtlewing grinned. “And if her methods differed from mine, then I guess I got new things to learn and try.” It began to make more sense why Myrtlewing was so nonchalant about the situation–his favourite part of killing was when he got to try something new. Of course the prospect of meeting someone that could introduce him to more methods would excite him.

Myrtlewing leaned closer to his great-ma. “They’re almost as mean as us. They’ll earn a reputation. You know what I think? I think there’s more cats to blame when someone goes missing or turns up bones. That’s useful, isn’t it?”

“Someone’s not being useful,” Alderstar complained.

Myrtlewing responded by tugging on Alderstar’s ear, and the two began to wrestle, rolling around in a golden-brown whirl of fur.

Bella-May frowned as she padded away. Myrtlewing’s idea wasn’t very useful if she wanted to take credit. But she saw his point nonetheless. Still, she wanted to find at least one kin that shared her feelings, so that she didn’t feel so silly for having them. Maybe Dullahan. Maybe one of her kits.

=============

--The ending is sudden and weird, but I just wanted to put in what Myrtlewing would think about the whole Styrofoam thing--in short, he couldn't give less of a shit. But he is amused and likes poking fun at his great-ma, while also helping her out.

@ambitiousauthor

[explosionshark]

Okay so after saying things were a bit hit and miss I got like 8 episodes in a row that I liked so things definitely picked up, first off yeah you were right Hush is so good and it's even more impressive that it's so good standalone rather than like I Will Remember You which stands on the shoulders of all that came before. 'obscenestake.gif, my beloved' is direct from my notes and yeah that whole scene was an all timer for sure. But even in general killer sound design, great physical acting on all fronts, also the Gentlemen great designs, and real unsettling. Also getting to see Tara for the first time was very nice. And I give it bonus points cause I was sure it was gonna kill off Olivia because she was expendable but she managed to live so good for her.

Loved Doomed it was great having prime Hellmouth stuff and Buffy death impacts. Everyone getting to go back to school. Spike also got some great stuff in this episode with him feeling doomed himself and getting that turn around loving fighting demons now. Also from my notes and my now rarely appearing Faith Watch portion Buffy unprompted invoking her in a comparison to Riley, mirror all the love interests go ahead.

Similarly in A New Man I appreciate whoever made the decision to have Ethan Rayne talk about how he and Giles are sorcerers who own the night while drinking together and then immediately cutting to Willow and Tara having their very romantic rose magic night together, what could this possibly imply about Giles and Ethan's past relationship? Also just like whenever Ethan shows up I have a great time love that guy, and especially that this time there wasn't even a larger plan it was just he wanted to mess with Giles. Plus demon Giles teamup with Spike, very fun especially the last shot of him in the episode was crashing Giles' car.

On the Angel front Hero and all the fallout that's been happening on that front has been great, like I knew Doyle couldn't have been sticking around forever but I didn't realise it was so soon that "Is that it, am I done?" At the end of the episode hit so hard, loved it. Parting Gifts with some fallout from that and the return of Wesley loved it. I enjoyed Somnambulist's look at Angel's past siring coming back on him, surely the most lesser member of Angel's family. I also enjoy that to be Angel's friend you have to promise you'll kill him. Anyway then Expecting broke my streak and She wasn't that much better so Angel really letting the side down there.

The Initiative stuff across I in Team and Goodbye Iowa was okay. I liked all the Buffy really doesn't fit into that style of operation, but I feel like it was a bit of lazy writing to just kill off Walsh immediately after her heel turn instead of dealing with the fallout of Buffy having a human enemy she can't kill or anything like Ethan had suggested towards in A New Man where the answer was him being carted off to an off grid jail which can't be done to Walsh. And Adam has a floppy disk drive on his chest which is pretty incredible and is his greatest strength for me so far they at least put him over physically strong so he's got that going for him. I am wondering if he's kinda a mirror for Spike with him being too human for demons now and obviously was always too demon for humans and Adam is made of Demons and Humans but that might be pushing it and he's just a mirror for Riley. But good for Buffy getting a good sexual encounter with Riley that might help her start working off the s2 Angel trauma even if things did still rapidly deteriorate soon after. Also lotta cute outfits for Buffy in Goodbye Iowa, her sushi pajamas that bandana outfit she was hunting in, the disguise that at first was just her with a pair of glasses on until she found a lab coat in the elevator.

I am really enjoying Spike now I said it last update but he's such good fun. I've got This Year's Girl up next so I'm very much looking forwards to that.

Hush is SUCH a good episode. I honestly really love it when Buffy leans more into its straight up horror elements. And I love when it spends a whole episode on a particular gimmick and it really pays off. Ethan is ALSO really fun and you're so right the juxtaposition of him and giles/tara and willow is very :eyes emoji: - love ethan, wish he showed up more.

and hard agree re: walsh. i think this is one of the key places where the entire s4 big bad falters hard. it's tough bc the master in s1 was iconic and really more about buffy vs mortality/fate, right? and it set the tone, worked perfectly. s2/s3 had a great one-two punch in angel and faith, deeply personal an emotional. so s4 is in a tough starting place! i think keeping walsh around and leveraging her relationship with riley would have been more effective than the pivot to adam. alas.

re: riley also - he has many critics but i DO think it's nice that after much agony buffy finally got just a big handsome boyfriend she could be horny with and have it not be totally traumatizing. she deserves this.

Expecting + She are like two of the worst episodes of television ever made. augh. and i've got some major issues with hero BUT you're right that "Is that it, am I done?" hits so fucking hard. god. what a moment.

[spacexmagicxandxsheepxbleats]

"Where are those so called 'Gods' when you need them...?"

//: TW Gore, Body Horror, Blood, Violence Mentioned/Implied SA - over all awful things.

Someone asked, here it is - how Mar got the hole in her face. Bonus music to go with it (spoiler the words she's saying are from the song~ The female singer of Heilung, Maria, is Mar's 'voice claim').

Flames flickered around her, swaths of inferno crackling and licking at the trees. Sap seeping from the eyes carved in the bark like smoking tears, ash and smoke, the creaking of weak trunks and branches, their 'voices' adding themselves to the rotting figure's throaty chant...

"Bræðr munu berjask ok at bönum verðask, munu systrungar sifjum spitla," bells of brass and chimes of bone sang in time and tune with Mardoll's movements, punctuating each syllable as it hazed from the nose of her helm.

The Nightmarish visage, the proto-iteration of The Ram sold in the City, was carved of Ahamkara bone by the Warlock Arlo and gifted to the Risen post Six Fronts. Once perfect and whole it now sported a broken horn, it's blackened surface scarred, charred, carved and adorned with small charms and trinkets.

Fractured Ghost Cores whirred in it's sockets, the light of the fires shimmering in the cracks of their 'eyes'. Were they still alive....?

"Answer me! Where are your dead gods now?," the speaker, an Exo, paced the perimeter of the clearing. His face obscured by his helm, his cloak smoking as stray embers alighted on the fabric.

The Guardian's he brought with him were seeming to struggle to keep their footing and their wits in the face of the creature they harried.

He was met with that infernal chanting, the continued song, the same dead words and he was growing impatient.

Barking a command the group's Titan made to grab Mardoll in a bear hug from behind.

Hunching, curling slightly into herself and flexing her back she bristled her matted fur cloak, bracing hidden, forged and barbed iron spikes set amongst the hairs.

When the man grabbed hold and squeezed Mardoll lost a small amount of breath and momentum with her chanting, falling back into her cadence once the large Guardian cast her aside to slap and pull at a handful of the spines that found purchase in the flexible gaps in his armour.

Growling, pacing back the way he'd just gone, Outlaw - the Exo calling the shots, leveled his hand cannon and took the shot. Putting a hollow point round through the Titan's head, dropping him like a sack of sand from roughly thirty feet away.

"Useless cunt....," Outlaw hissed, pointing his gun and menacing the others to get on with it.

Turning their attention back to Mardoll they thought to attempt a united front, all four rushing the smaller woman. She'd already taken some damage in the hours long stand off, coupled with the constant chanting and sweltering heat of the Solar ignited blaze around them the Risen had to be getting tired, right?

"Gal anda viðr, gangla viðr, riðanda viðr, viðr rinnanda, viðr sitjanda, viðr signianda, viðr faranda, viðr fluganda, skal alta fyrna ok um döya," the words repeated in quick succession, rolling off an unseen tongue as desperation crept into the quartet pressing the charge.

Blades were deflected in flashes, blows exchanged in kind, a knife was lost to Mardoll's upper back - an iron thorn taking it's place in it's wielder's hand.

Even that did little to slow the assailants and the assailed.

A smile twisted Outlaw's face plates, catching sight of blood dripping from the hollow nose of The Ram, "See!? The Bitch Bleeds! She's not a god or phantom of the forest! Keep pressing her!"

'Will it work?' the voice whispered in the Exo's mind, pulling a sneer behind the visor of his helm. His Ghost, nearly shattered by the woman he now tried to kill, shuttered in Outlaw's eye socket.

It was afraid, like it was those centuries ago when Outlaw - under a different name- lost his status as a Warlord to Mardoll. All because he killed some dirt child he orphaned and she so happened to pick up....

"...It will...if not, we keep trying until it's enough...", his tone softened, his response quiet, but the rage still seethed in the syllables.

One by one the Guardian's fell but not with out dealing a decent amount of damage to the Ram headed creature...

Watching her stagger a step, swaying to keep her balance, Outlaw made his move. Marching with a purpose across the torn ground, stepping over the dead and grabbing Mardoll by the front of her armour, giving her a hard shake.

"Rumor has it, some Stormcaller blinded you... That why you keep these sad fucks in your head? Hmm?," another hard shake and he let her go, watching an unsteady step he cocked back and punched her. HIs fist connecting with the right side of her helm.

Outlaw laughed as she lurched, huffing impressed that she kept her feet under her, "What, you done singing? Or is this," grabbing her again he pressed his thumb into a bullet hole in her chest, just below her left breast, "Taking the piss out of you...?"

"Sér hon upp koma öðru sinni," airy and snarled, Mar responded, taking a swing of her own at Outlaw's head. Her hand connected, he reacted by stepping back, but also forcing his thumb deeper, now passed the first knuckle...

"That, almost, hurt...But I bet this," hooking his thumb in the wound he pulled, jerking her closer, "hurts more..."

The man almost purred, his forehead now pressed to her own, the Ghost Cores in Mar's helm shuddering before focusing on the Ghost in Outlaw's face, as if they could see it through the Exo's helm.

"It's a shame really, every thing that happened...that kid? Wasn't worth it... you should have just taken me up on my offer...we could have been great you know... Stronger than any other Lord's in the area...", his timbre changed, becoming low and husky as he lamented softly, "...you were hot back then, still are, all thing's considered... but rather than lay with your own you followed that god damned Ranger and his god damn friends..."

"....Those fuckers were using you, riding your abilities and power....", he cursed his laps, the fact he closed his eyes a moment. She reared back and head butt him, the visor of his helm cracking with the impact.

"Still a sore fucking thing isn't it?! You failed them and they fucking used your ass! Yet you still fucking mourn them! Their dead! Fucking Gone!," grabbing Mar by the throat he hauled her off the ground, drawing his serrated blade he plunged it to the hilt into her abdomen, "That little bastard is dead and you know what!? This is the same blade that slit his little pig throat!"

Drawing the blade back Outlaw struck again, stabbing just below the first strike, "I watched your Ranger's eat shit, sat and smiled while the tall one got his fucking head blown off....really got me going," twisting the blade slowly he drew it out, then back in again, "wished I could have had you broken and beneath me, to fuck you while you cried and begged to go to them...."

He groaned, stabbing her once more, "get's me hard thinking about it....", sighing he threw her to the ground, wiping his knife across his chest as he stepped towards her, kicking Mar to her back and dropping his boot to her wounds with a sigh, "...I might be made to reconsider this you know...."

Crouching over her, settling himself on her hips, he let his free hand press up the front of her armour, feeling the make of it and her curves beneath it while he sheathed his knife, "It'd truly be a waste to kill you...you really are a rare creature... unique Light, strange tattoos...a brute force and savagery that hides behind soft features and doe eyes... What I wouldn't give to have you on me..."

He peeled his helm off, letting it drop next to him as he reached for her's. Roughing it off so he could see her face he tutted softly, puling a cloth from one of his pockets.

"...Sheela did a number on your eyes...you really can't see shit can you...?," leaning down he dabbed at the blood beading from her nose, "Such a wild, untamed thing you are..."

Outlaw didn't hesitate, bending closer he pressed his alloy lips to hers, mechanical taste receptors picking up the blood on her mouth, "Not quick to struggle...are you submitting...?"

He pressed back in, kissing her again, "You don't have to di..!"

Mardoll's hand snapped up, having found one of the dead Guardian's blades in the grass beside her, and slammed the weapon to the hilt into the side of Outlaw's neck.

Sparks and fluids erupted around the knife as he recoiled off her, scrambling back and to his feet he drew his hand-cannon.

"Stupid whore!," he roared, leveling the gun, his finger flexing to pull the trigger.

At the last possible second, Mardoll's Ghost, Revenant, flashed into view, dropping a massive stone onto the Exo's forearm, disrupting the shot.

It wasn't enough.

The round ripped through Mardoll's left cheek, blowing her teeth and a considerable amount of bone and flesh from her face, sending her reeling back to the ground to lay still and staring into the dirt...

Revenant vanished, and before Outlaw could take a second shot a shadow in the flames across from him gave him pause.

A massive creature stood there, it's silhouette some where between a serpent, wolf and squid... a myriad of milky white eyes focused on the scene unfolding, a pressure formed in Outlaw's mind, a disquieted unease that built to panic and primal terror.

Something he thought he left behind when he traded flesh for metal...

With out hesitation, his Ghost transmatted him out of there.

".....You, came....," she could barely speak as she struggled to turn over, the words more or less fell out of her mouth, slurred and slick with blood, impeded by flayed flesh and pulped bone.

As soon as the words slipped out, she fell into the void of near death.

The creature entered the clearing, bathed in flames it shifted it's shape, taking the form of a man, drifting closer in the guise of a Tall Ranger...

[gertlushgaming]

Wildfrost Review (Steam)

 For our Wildfrost Review, Where the sun has frozen over, and the world has succumbed to the Wildfrost. The town of Snowdwell and its survivors stand as the last bastion against an eternal winter... Build up a deck of powerful card companions and elemental items, as you battle to reach the Sun Temple and banish the frost once and for all!

Wildfrost Review Pros:

- Decent cartoon-like graphics. - 523.88MB download size. - Steam achievements. - Controller support. - Graphics settings - display mode, max fps, and v-sync. - Blood can be set to normal or rainbow colors and a blood amount slider. - Card battler gameplay. - Three leaders to choose from each round and it randomized from avatar, to name and any abilities. - Each card has a countdown icon that once it hits zero, the card/s will attack. - You can rename your leader. - Redraw bell - use it to redraw cards at any time, it ends your turn immediately unless you charge it up by getting it's counter to zero. - Enemies come into the battle via waves and you can see how many plays it is until they appear. - Fast snappy interface. - Your leader must be on the board for you to play the cards below. - Companions can be recruited and placed on the board, put in front of the leader and the enemy usually attacks them first. - Inspect cards give a more in-depth view of a card both friendly and enemy cards. - Recall cards so they can heal, more a thing for companions as leaders cannot be recalled. - Boss encounters. - Leaders and companions will auto-attack once their counter reaches zero. - Combo counter bonus. - The map has multiple routes and different scenarios from treasure, and battles to claiming journal pages. - If a companion gets killed, they actually get injured and if they survive the next battle (lower stats/health) then they get fully healed. - Snowdell is the town you are tasked with helping. Unlock new buildings by completing challenges. - Daily voyage - a harder game type that randomizes a game every day with random cards and modifiers. You only get one shot a day. - Handy quick new run button after defeat. - The journal keeps the names of all leaders you have used and any pages collected that give back stories. - Charms can be equipped with a card to adjust their stats. - At any point, you can rearrange leaders and companions on the board. - Devilishly addictive. - Wooly Snail is the shop where you can buy cards, charms, and upgrade cards. - As you unlock parts of the town, you fall into playing more as it just keeps going and going. - The journal keeps tabs on all encountered enemies, charms collected, and companions. Wildfrost Review Cons: - For the first hour or so it feels very samey as you grind to increase the card types you encounter. - A lot to take in. - Slight learning curve. - Difficulty spikes. - Bare minimum graphic settings. - Cannot rebind controls. - The tutorial does miss out on a few key points. - Daily quests are daunting more because of the bombardment of new card types and mechanics. - A lot to keep track of. Related Post: RunBean Galactic Review (Xbox Series S)  Wildfrost: Official website. Developer: Gaziter  and Deadpan Games Publisher: Chucklefish Games Store Links - Steam Read the full article

[twodancingzombies]

Non Sexual Turn Ons - What Gets The Slashers Going

Minors Do Not Interact

Michael Myers

Seeing you handle knives, there’s something about the flash of the silverware in your hands that makes him want to take you right then and there, should you happen to have a hobby such as knife throwing he’s going to be all over you

When you end up covered in blood courtesy of Michael, you have no idea but he’s fighting god not to let into his urges, he also likes when you screw your face up in disgust 

If you have the courage to stand up to him and try and get in his face, be careful though because he’ll either find it incredibly cute thinking you can go against him and wrap a hand round your throat or he’ll get right up in your face knife in hand warning you off

Scaring you, part of himself loves that he can scare you it gives him a huge power trip and nothing gets him going like intentionally scaring you just to see that spike of adrenalin 

Jason Voorhees 

Jason is still dealing with the shame that comes with these thoughts, he thought he was impartial to arousal until being with you. The first time he felt such a way was when a deer got caught in one of his traps and you put all your effort to release it, he loved the nurturing side of you

Baking or cooking, Jason loves nothing more than coming home to the sweet smell of freshly baked food and seeing you fit right into his home made him want to show you just how much he appreciates you 

Patching him up after a long night, it is rare that he needs medical attention he can handle himself after all but on the nights he does he’s practically rushing to cover himself so you can’t see the extent of what you’re doing by taking care of him

Jason hates himself for it but seeing your body will never fail to get him going, even if he sees you on accident he can’t get the image of you out of his head and he cannot function for the rest of the day unless you help him out

Bubba Sawyer

Something about putting his brothers into their place to defend him or give him a break will have him rushing to hide the strain in his pants, he can’t get enough of seeing you taking charge when it comes to of people especially his brothers

Sitting on his lap in front of his family, despite the wave of embarrassment he also loves the fact that you’re not afraid to show others you’re with him or that you’re completely comfortable around him, just don’t do it too much otherwise he’ll stress

Wearing a nice flowy dress or relaxed clothing, he cannot put into words how gorgeous he finds you when you’re a tad dressed up and he’s desperate to get you somewhere private to release his tension, bonus points if you wear his clothes 

Rather specific but looking up at him when you’re on your knees, you could simply be grabbing something off the floor but when you look at him like that its painfully obvious that he is not composed, he feels filthy for admitting it but he can’t for the life of him help it  

Brahms Heelshire

Telling him what to do, not just everyday things but when you’re at your wits end with him and practically demand he take a bath or go to bed, sometimes Brahms purposely winds you up to to get that reaction out of you, he can never bring himself to leave you afterwards

Telling him he’s been a good boy will get Brahms riled up every time so please us it wisely he would throw a tantrum if you called him a good boy then just left, teasing or not he wants to be all over you especially after your words

After answering the door to Malcom, he gets angsty at the thought of someone disturbing your peace and visiting the house and he pleads you to claim him afterwards

Wearing his clothes, it wouldn’t happen a lot but if you’re in quick need of a change of clothes and Brahms are laid out somewhere you promise to clean it afterwards and slip it on, Brahms is the one slipping it off 5 minutes later

Vincent Sinclair

Being overly sweet to him, brushing his hair, cupping his face, sitting on his lap, Vincent never got much affection and he is a tad insecure around you due to the way he perceives himself, giving him love and care makes him want to take care of you as soft as he can 

Running your hands over his body, he already worships your touch but Vincent is blissed out when you run your hands over his shoulders or arms, if you happen to caress over his hands he will pull you over to him and hope you get the hint

Sometimes when working and sculpting wax, Vincent finds his mind wandering to you, reminding him of touching and running his hands over your body to the point where he wants you desperately 

Sometimes just seeing you being happy and smiling or laughing is enough to get him hard, he loves you so much and wonders what he did to deserve you, he wants to take you somewhere private when he’s in these moods

Hannibal Lecter

Hannibal is a sophisticated man with excellent self control you being able to make him lose his composure just with a look proves you’re more powerful than you know, Hannibal lives for the looks you give him they have more affect over him than anyone has ever elicited

Having blood on you, not loads maybe something as small as a nosebleed that allows him to see you almost untainted makes him want to bend you over the counter, if he can’t he’ll gently smear the blood a little and lick it off his finger

Wearing a certain outfit that shows you off in all the right places at one of his events has him ready to pounce, you look absolutely ravishing and Hannibal will sneak an arm round your waist possessively all evening 

Crying, as much as Hannibal hates seeing you hurt he can’t deny when a few tears slip down your cheeks he feels himself getting less and less composed, he’ll often push away those urges in favor of comforting you though unless you’d rather take your mind off things his way of course

[raainy-daze]

Hi, here again

Second request!

Leo x female!reader who is very muscly and just... scoops Leo up bridal-style. Bonus if Leo short-circuits with the most flabbergasted look on his face 😂 ~🌺👸

(note: I saw you don't usually write for female inserts, but I thought it would get extra fluster points if reader was female. Your call though)

What Happens In The Hidden City

rottmnt leo x strong!female!reader

summary: how is it that every nice outing ends in some sort of chaos? time to bail your boyfriend out of trouble - again.

word count: 832

a/n: i may or may not have taken this and ran. not sure how this mini-plot developed, but it did, so here we are. this may be a little ooc, the last few days i’ve been writing in a sleep deprived frenzy and a sleep deprived frenzy only.

also! to the lovely people who’ve commented on my previous posts, i’ve found there’s a glitch in my tumblr that’s giving me an error message whenever i try to respond to anything. i’ll say thank you here, and hope you see it! have a lovely day, everyone!

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Sometimes, you wondered just what was going on in the guys’ brains that convinced them that any of what they did was a good idea.

The Hidden City was amazing. You’d known that the moment you stepped foot in it. Filled with yokai, and with this magic that you only ever dreamed of as a child. You’d thought you were in for a nice, peaceful day for once, exploring.

At some point, you and April had split off from the group. You could’ve sworn you didn’t even leave their sight, but when you turned around, the turtles were gone.

You decided to meet up with them again later, and went on about your sightseeing. It had been maybe fifteen minutes - only fifteen minutes - when you heard April’s phone ring.

“Hey, Mikey.” You knelt down to examine the plaque of a statue while she picked up the call, noting it was meant to be of some historic figure.

“What did you guys do this time.”

That certainly wasn’t an encouraging statement. “What did they do?” You quickly looked back at her.

April took the phone from her ear and put it on speaker. None other than Michelangelo was on the other end. “So, uh, funny story…” He spoke in a panicked whisper. Definitely not a good sign.

“So Donnie-“

“Oh, so it’s MY fault now, is it!”

“Would you two be quiet?” On the other end, Raph took the phone. “We were just minding our business, and I’m-Not-Naming-Names-Donnie ran into this yokai.”

“Oh?” You could hear faint bickering in the background, accompanied by Raph trying to hush his brothers. Well, two of them, at least. “Where’s Leo?”

“Mob.”

“Excuse me?”

“There is a mob.”

Now that the word ‘mob’ was mentioned, you couldn’t help but notice the sounds of rage coming from somewhere in the distance.

“WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU SAY TO THEM?” As April yelled into the phone, you began making your way towards the racket.

About five streets down, you found the previously mentioned mob. And it truly was a mob, with pitchforks and everything. Above the crowd, on the rooftops of what you took to be a restaurant of some kind, you could see three of the four brothers hiding somewhat poorly behind a stack of boxes. Your boyfriend, notably, was missing.

“Look, I didn’t mean to take that little girl’s teddy bear, okay? I didn’t know!” There he was, at the front of the crowd, quickly being backed into a corner.

“God damn it, Leo…” Pushing through the horde wasn’t easy, especially a horde of yokai, who occasionally had spikes and other such appendages, but you made it through.

“HEY, HEY, PEOPLE, CALM DOWN!” Your yells quickly brought attention to you, which may or may not have been a mistake.

“Oh hey, y’don’t see humans every day ‘round here…”

“Who’s that lady?”

You laughed nervously. “Now look, I don’t know what happened here, but I can assure you all, whatever my boyfriend and his brothers may have said, or done, they apologize deeply and hope you can forgive them, and/or whatever they smashed can hopefully be fixed with super glue.”

Silence had fallen over the mob. Was that a good sign? The pitchforks were still up.

“… So now that that’s been said and done we’re going to take our leave now goodbye!”

You turned away from the crowd and hastily scooped Leo up bridal style. “OH-“ You barely had time to register his red face before you were running from a mob of angry yokai.

You’re not really sure how you got out of there without being burned at the stake. You had absolutely no plan, and the majority of your success was definitely due to pure luck. At some point, you managed to duck into an alleyway without being noticed, breathing heavily. Running who knows how far at who knows how fast wasn’t an easy feat.

Speaking of, Leo was still in your arms.

“I’m gonna put you down now.”

“Okay.”

You set him down gently before leaning back against the wall behind you, trying to catch your breath. “Think they’re gone? … Leo?”

You hadn’t previously been aware that turtles could blush just as red as humans, but here Leo was.

You couldn’t help but smile at him. “Aw, did I catch you off guard?”

“Off guard? Me, the great Leonardo, off guard? Never!”

“Your face says different.”

“Pff-“ Leo crossed his arms. “You didn’t HAVE to pick me up. What, (y/n), trying to impress me?”

“Maybe.” You were on a roll today. It wasn’t every day Leo got flustered like this. “Guess you’re just that lucky to have a big, strong girlfriend like me.”

Leo did that awkward laugh - you know the one - as he covered his face with a hand. “Oh, I’m going to get you back for this.”

“Yeah, sure, pretty boy.” You grabbed his hand, and led the way out of the alley. “Come on, let’s find the others before those yokai come back. What did you do, anyways…?”

[emmabirb8]

So I've been watching a bit of Buffy recently bc... y'know... vampires. And I've obviously immediately latched onto Spike (definitely the most compelling character and one of the true highlights of the series 💖) and I quickly realized - there are legitimately so many similarities between him and Laszlo Cravensworth.

So just for fun, I started keeping track of the similarities by jotting down bullet points. Here's what I have so far:

Vampires

Originally high class Brits

Outcasts of their communities

Wifeguys to the most insane, violent women on the planet (and as a bonus, both characters were portrayed this way by choice of their respective actors, Matt Berry and James Marsters <3)

Sired by their wives

Comic relief

Shitty black nail polish

Interest in the arts (music and poetry respectively)

Claim to have had things "stolen" from them by musicians (music/lyrics by various artists from Laszlo, specific look by Billy Idol from Spike)

Put up fronts of nonchalance only to secretly care way more than most

Iconic fashion choices

Depressing human lives

Parental issues from their human lives that affected them so deeply they still suffer the mental/emotional scars as vampires

Rivalries with specific other vampires (Simon the Devious and Angel respectively)

Friendly with slayers and have had their asses saved by said slayers

Genuine friends with humans

Like, damn, that's A LOT!

In the department of romance, Spike obviously has more similarities with Nandor (bad luck in love, goes for the wrong people, gets dumped [and seriously, screw Drusilla for treating Spike that way - he was ride or die for her 110%], falls genuinely in love with a slayer... etc), but I just thought it was kinda neat that he's THAT comparable to Laszlo, lol.

[picktheprick]

high lord primps

Hi everyone :))) This is my first post on here... I write alot on wp but I feel like it's kinda gone dead so I've decided to try something different. Hope you enjoy x

-

Rhys and Feyre go out to have some well-deserved time together. Plus some bonus Nyx fluff because I'm obsessed with him :)

***

(Feyre POV)

"Nyx, honey. Slow down a little there please. You've just had your dinner and you don't want to get an upset stomach," I pleaded gently with my five year old who was currently zooming around the room in excitement. Just watching him was causing my head to spin and a spiking feeling of anxiety in my chest as he very narrowly avoided running straight into every piece of furniture.

In general it had been a long day and all I was craving was a few precious hours alone with my mate. Both of our schedules had been filled to the point of exhaustion recently, what with running the court and raising Nyx, and some.

Tonight couldn't have come any sooner. Rhys had booked us a reservation at Sevenda's, and despite feeling the begining of a throbbing headache I was looking forward to it.

Nyx stumbled to a stop in front of where I was sitting, panting heavily as he gripped onto my legs to steady himself. His hair was sticking in all directions and his chubby cheeks were flushed pink.

"Momma, I'm fine," he argued.

"For now you are," I murmured, squeezing his cheeks affectionately.

Nyx squirmed but I knew he loved the attention. Like father like son.

I sighed, casting another glance to the ticking clock on the wall. In most cases it was normally the female who spent longer getting ready. But not in our case.

Rhys.

Almost done, darling.

I'm one heartbeat away from coming up there and dragging you out of the house myself.

All I received in return was an amused chuckle and nothing more.

"Nyx, love," I called.

A few moments later my son hurtled back into the room.

"Yeah, Momma?"

"Could you do me a huge favour please and check on Dada?"

"Sure," he barely got out before sprinting away again.

I couldn't help but smile at his chaotic energy. I only hoped that he would always be so happy and bubbly and full of life.

Not two minutes later, Nyx was back. But now he was wearing a mischievous grin.

"Wanna know why Dada's taking so long to get ready?" he asked.

I raised a brow in question.

"He's totally checking himself out," he giggled.

I joined him in his laughter. Now this was motive enough for me to get up. Teasing my mate was always worth the effort.

I dropped a kiss to Nyx's head. "Thanks, baby. I'll be down in a second."

I climbed the stairs and rounded the corner to our bedroom. Inside, the door to the bathroom was ajar and I could hear the unmistakable sound of Rhys humming.

When I reached the door, Rhys came into view standing at the sink before the large mirror. He wore his shirt but he hadn't even buttoned it yet, and of all things he was fussing around with his hair.

I leaned against the wall and watched with a small smile on my face as Rhys battled with a single strand of hair that kept falling in his face. With each failed attempt at getting the piece of hair to stay off of his forehead, he became increasingly annoyed. The humming stopped.

"Fucking piece of hair," he muttered.

I snorted at the sight.

Rhys's head shot to me.

"Feyre darling," he smiled in greeting. "You look beautiful."

I blushed. "Thanks. Prick."

I had made a reasonable effort to look nice. I did my hair and makeup, and put on a pretty dress and heels. And still I was left waiting.

"And what are you doing?" I pressed.

Rhys sighed in defeat. "Attempting to fix my hair."

I hid my smile. "That's what you've been doing this whole time?"

"Yes," he replied sheepishly.

I pushed off the doorway and went to him. "Let me."

After some minutes of trying, I was ready to give up.

"You're right," I said, tugging softly at my mate's hair. "This piece of hair is stubborn as hell. Just like you."

Rhys feigned hurt but I caught the smile pulling on his lips. "Ouch."

"You deserve it," I quipped, beginning to button up his shirt. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?"

"Sorry honey. But when you look like you do, I need to at least make an effort," he replied smoothly.

I pushed his chest. "Flirt."

Rhys let out a laugh. "By the way, I am perfectly capable of buttoning up my own shirt," he added.

"Obviously," I said, working on the last button. "But I like doing it for you."

When I was finished I took a slight step back and took my mate in.

His shirt was dark and perfectly cut to his body so that you could see every ridge and muscle. Maybe even a little too tight. It was half-sleeved. Rhys never wore anything other than full-sleeved shirts. Rarely.

"I like your hair as it is. I think it's cute," I said. "It reminds me of Superman."

Rhys scoffed. "I'm miles hotter than Superman."

"That's debatable."

Rhys closed the gap between us and lightly gripped my chin, but his fingers were firm enough on my skin to make my heart race. He raised a brow, violet eyes boring into mine. "Oh yeah?"

"Why? Are you jealous?" I teased.

"No shit," he murmured, pulling me closer to him.

"We should leave," I said softly, even as my heart begged to reason otherwise. "We're already late."

Rhys smirked smugly, knowing exactly the effect he had on me. Even after all this time.

"If you say so darling." He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips and then released me, sauntering out of the room.

I took a second to compose myself before following him out.

When I got downstairs, Nyx wasn't the only one being hyper anymore. Cassian had arrived and was chasing after him, the two yelling and laughing loudly. My heart filled with the sound of my son's laughter, and to see how much love Cassian held for him.

Nyx didn't seem to notice Rhys and I in the room until he barrelled right into Rhys's legs.

Rhys immediately steadied him, gripping his shoulders. "Woah. Slow down, buddy. Slow down."

"Done checking yourself out, Dada?" Nyx grinned toothily.

Cassian and I both snorted at the same time. Rhys narrowed his eyes down at Nyx, keeping his firm hold on him.

"You know.." he mused. "You're becoming a little too cheeky, bud."

He then proceeded to tickle the life out of Nyx, who fell to the floor in a squealing, squirming heap.

I smiled softly at the sight. It was such a simple, mundane moment. And yet it meant everything to me.

My boys.

Rhys stopped his tickling finally once Nyx had calmed down and he stood back, brushing himself down.

His violet eyes met mine. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, let's."

I went to gather Nyx in a tight hug. "Bye, baby. I love you. Have fun with Uncle Cass."

"But not too much fun," Rhys chided lightly.

I waved him off in reply.

Nyx burrowed his small head against my shoulder. "You look so pretty, Momma," he said.

"Aw. Thanks, honey." I kissed his forehead tenderly.

Rhys rolled his eyes at us. "She was mine first."

Cassian shoved him. "Jealous prick. Get out of here, you two. We'll be just fine. Right, Nyx?"

Nyx let go of me. "Sure, Uncle Cass," he grinned mischievously.

I couldn't decipher the look the two shared, but I knew that it meant trouble if anything. Good thing I wouldn't be present to witness their shenanigans. It was probably for the best.

"See you later," I called as Rhys took my hand and we left.

"Bye!" The two said in perfect unison.

"I really hope that they don't burn our house down," I murmured.

Rhys chuckled, squeezing my hand. "I wouldn't bet on it."

***

[mychlapci]

Maggy anon

The last post made me think about Magnus having to put a hand below his heavy belly, to ease the ache of it a bit - he's too stubborn to admit it's gotten too big by now. Kinda hot.

And Predaking "loafing about" ? Love that as well. Mf was dozing off while his breeder was being tortured with unending pleasure.. Magnus only forgives him because the sex that followed was amazing. But he better not do that again ! (Spoilers: it will happen again).

This time around Magnus is the only one sparked, so he doesn't want to be alone in bed all day, even when he starts getting too big. So he asks to be taken along with Predaking during the day. Which means that Predaking can flaunt his pretty, gravid breeder in front of everyone.

Still toys with the remote, because he does need to keep Magnus busy/entertained even if they're out. He loves showing off Magnus.. but if people stare too hard he gets jealous. So he pulls Magnus closer - his breeder is always on his lap these days - and tells him to keep quiet as he fills that greedy valve. Maybe he's nice and helps hold his big belly once in a while.

Now Magnus is stuck on his stud's large spike, too big to move enough to ride him on his own - forced to keep it warm, while Predaking goes on with his own work. Uselessly clenching around it, desperately needing more but not getting it.

Bonus points if his titties are way too big for his chestplates, so Predaking got him something made out of fiber instead - his titties covered and hidden by cloth, but easily accessed by his stud's large claws. Kneaded and pinched, milked by the pumps or Predaking's claws, depending on his stud's mood.

mhmmmm Magnus sneaking his hands under his belly, so heavy he would usually be in his bed at this point, but he protests, saying he has too much work to do- the truth is he feels a little lonely without an equally sparked Optimus in bed with him, but since the Prime is now taking a break, that's not very feasible... so he struggles through his days with a baby bump so big he can't close his legs anymore, barely fitting into his office chair...⬇️

When he's at the point where work is too taxing and he's having trouble focusing, Predaking takes him along as he fulfills his own duties (i wonder what kind of duties the king of predacons has...) Perhaps at first Magnus takes more direct interest in what Predaking does, but that quickly passes as the carrying cycle progresses and his focus switches to keeping his valve satisfied, his titties milked and his belly cradled.

But it's not enough, the overload is shallow and unsatisfying, he tries to rock against Predaking's lap, and eventually Predaking takes pity on him (how could he not when his poor breeder is moaning so much) and he holds Magnus' belly up to ease the weight, letting him ride his spike until his water breaks...

By the time he's ready to pop, Predaking has him sitting in his lap almost constantly, one clawed hand holding the underside of Magnus' full belly while the other teases the sensitive mesh of his tits, covered up so that no one who strays in gets to see them, per Magnus' wishes, but they're leaking so much through the fiber anyone would immediately get an idea of how good Predaking has it. Magnus sits on his spike, too tired and worn and heavy to start bouncing on it like he'd like to, valve dripping lubricant down Predaking's throne, while Predaking leans back and yet again dozes off... a big beast like him requires a lot of sleep, and Magnus hates it.

Sometimes it's too much and despite himself, Magnus starts whining, struggling and failing to reach around his full belly and touch his node... Predaking just shushes him, kisses his flushed face, the feeling of sharp teeth brushing against Magnus' finials making his valve convulse. Predaking's arm reaches around the underside of Magnus' belly, cold claws rubbing his clit until the commander is squirting himself silly all over the throne...

[iisuya-simps]

Could I please request TDD headcanons with an S/O (if a gender is needed then female) who loves to play with the boy’s hair?

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Ichiro Yamada

you just love to run your hands through Ichiros hair when you're cuddling on the couch

it may be a little greasy sometimes

but you don't care

you like to brush back his bangs up then let them fall to slap him in the face

"Hey!" Ichiro punishes you with a tickle fight

one time you tried to put it in little ponytails with some tiny elastics while he was sleeping

you managed to sneak a little selfie

but got caught

"H-hey, delete that!!"

"No way! Your brothers will love this!"

"Get back here! You're gonna regret sending that!"

"Too late!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Samatoki Aohitsugi

you love to play with Samatoki's hair while laying in bed

(when you're not wrapped in each other's arms that is)

you curl up against his back and give him a little scalp massage

"Mmh, that's nice baby"

"I love your hair slicked back like this Mr. tough guy"

"That's Mr. hardcore to you"

"Aw, what? It would look so good on you" :/

sometimes you poke and pull at the wisps of hair trying to escape just to get a reaction out of him

"Oi, quit it will ya? Or I'll have to make you." He pins your arms above your head OwO

he doesn't mind if you pull and tug at it when making out tho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ramuda Amemura

Ramuda loves it when you play with his hair

he thinks it's cute when you're twirling it around your fingers

you love to pamper him by brushing and straightening/curling it

sometimes even braiding the two locks of hair in the front

you're like his own personal stylist!

it's a nice change because he's always doing something with yours

"Hehe, what? Do you want some attention?"

"No, your hair is just fun to play with"

his hair has a few loose locks

you like to put cute little barrettes in it to keep it down

you even found a cute mic-shaped one at a gift shop

"Whoa! This is so adorable! I love it! Thanks, y/n!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jakurai Jinguji

you absolutely adore Jakurai's hair

it was one of the first things you noticed about him when you met

and the fact that he's just a gorgeous man

he doesn't mind you braiding it

it helps keep it out of his face when he's working

if you're good you'll french braid it

but he prefers a simple ponytail

"Your hair is so beautiful Jakurai" You say while combing your fingers through his long locks

"Why thank you, my dear." he grins pressing a soft kiss to your cheek

If he has a particularly tiring time at work he might let you wash it

he knows you'll treat him and his hair with care

he may brush your hair for you in return

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus+

~Post TDD era~

You were lying in bed with Samatoki, brushing your fingers through his spikes. "You should slick your hair back again like you did years ago." "Tch, yeah right." He sits up to light a cigarette. "What? It looked good." "Well, it's not like have any hair gel lying around anymore."

*spongebob narrator voice* ~Later~

"Hey, babyyy." You swing your arms around Samatoki's neck. "Look what I have." You laugh and show him the small bottle. "Where the hell did you get that?" "From Jyuto." "Of course." He clicked his tongue. "But he only let me borrow it if I can take a picture of you afterwards." "Tch, as if." "Awww, come on Toki. You're at least gonna let me do your hair now, right?" He rolls his eyes. " There's no point in stopping you now."

You sit him down on a chair and grab the bottle of gel and his comb. Combing it back you work in the gel from front to back. Alright, are you ready to see? You grab the mirror and hold it in front of his face. Samatoki studies it and nods approvingly. "You look so handsome!" "Well, don't get used to it... it's only for tonight." "I love it, lets go!" You giggle and cling to his arm.

After your date, you sit down on the couch and try and tuck a strand of hair that's trying to escape. "I think my hair forgets how to stay down." "Hehe, it's hard to contain those spikes. This was nice." You kiss his cheek. "Thanks for letting me do this, Sama." "I'm gonna take a shower and wash this out now." He winks. "Are you coming?"

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Thanks for reading!

[joshslater]

Cross Contamination

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I'm fucking furious. To most people Jack Wilson is a hockey hotshot, but to me he is just my wife's ex that can't let go. She said they had another encounter, but wouldn't go into details, saying it wasn't just his fault. She couldn't help herself, she said. Knowing how much she loathes him I suspect she was afraid of him turning violent. He is a star athlete after all, known to have punched more than a few players on the ice.

I know he's training at the stadium right now. That's how bad it has gotten, that I even know his schedule. I'm probably speeding getting there, but nothing else is important right now. I park the car in the huge, but almost empty parking. Neverending slabs of concrete to allow for the cars of thousands of cheering fans during game day. Well, I'm certainly not a fan. Still fuming as I exit the car and heading towards the arena I see him and a few others from his team running towards the same building from across the car park. They must be out for cardio or something. I stop and shout towards them "Hey! Jack!"

I can see them slow down a little, Jack saying something to them, and then breaking apart jogging in my direction while they continue at speed towards the stadium building. I remain still, just glaring at him as he closes in on me. He slows down quite a bit away and saunters towards me, still panting. He has an aura of smug superiority. He's good looking, despite his matted, sweaty hair and week-old beard. It's not just because he's in top shape, but he has that classic athlete chin cut, and mesmerizing eyes to go with it too. He's quite a bit shorter than me, and way denser and muscled, but I would bet my weekly martial arts practice can match him if needed. "Hey, cocksucker! You managed to find your way here," he yells back at me.

"I want you to know..." "Shut up"

I don't know why, but I can't look away from his intense eyes. It's like they can see into me, see every part of me. I'm frozen in place just watching him getting closer. "I said hey cocksucker. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and suck my cock." He says this as calmly as he can, never breaking eye contact. I don't think he blinks. I don't think I blink. I slowly go down on my knees,  grabbing the hem of his sweatpants, and pull down. I still keep eye contact, so I have to feel my way for the waistband of his underwear to pull it down too. I can feel the heat radiate from his steaming body. There's a smell of sweat, not the stale, musky kind, but from someone who showers every day and uses fresh clothes for each workout. He's professional and they got staff. I can hear his heavy breath as he is still recovering from the sprint. And I can feel a rather large cock in front of me that is erect, or at least a good way there. I grab it in my hands and guide the tip to my lips and begin to lick it. It doesn't really taste of much. I open my mouth and get more and more of his compression shirt wrapped abs and pecs in my view as I stare into his deep eyes, and take his big cock deeper and deeper into my mouth.

The tip reaches some point at the back of my mouth and I start to gag, making horrendous gurgling noises. I move back from him. "All the way. I want to be balls deep down your throat, cocksucker." I do as he commands, and push it in again, further. It's somehow much easier this time and my lips are tickled by his moist bush of pubes. I then start to work it, in and out, in and out. The noise I'm making is still horrendous. A wet, sloshy sound, and I hate it. "Yeah, you like that, cocksucker. Now, faster." I grab him by the hip and increase the pace. I get lost in the actions, like nothing matters but his cock, the noise, and his eyes.

I don't know for how long I was in a trance, but I feel him tensing up, pulling me tight to him, and shooting a big load of his cum down my throat. Suddenly the gaze that had held me like a vice breaks and he looks at my face rather than into my eyes. The spell is broken. I'm kneeling in a parking lot with Jack Wilson's cock down my throat, and my nose nuzzled into his pubes. His eyes suddenly widen, and his face turns into horror, like he is looking at a monster. Everything is going like in slow motion. I begin to push him away, to get his disgusting cock out of my mouth as he shoots his second load. Somehow in shock I manage to breathe in his cum. He pulls away from me as well, and his third load ends up just next to me on the concrete. "Fuck!" he says, visibly upset. "It's still in the bloodstream. Spit it out! Spit it out!"

I'm not sure I even have any in my mouth to spit out. It just went straight into my belly and into my lungs. Lungs that are desperately trying to cough up his spunky goo in phlegm-filled, deep whoops. "Fuck!" he shouts one last time, pulls up his sweatpants, and runs towards the Stadium building with one hand holding the pants up. I'm just folded over on my knees coughing and coughing while my mind is racing to make sense of what just happened. My chest is burning and I feel nauseated. There is the salty, bitter taste of cum in my mouth and a stench of athlete sweat as I gasp for air in between the coughs. I keep coughing, but less and less of substance is coming up. I spit out specks of Jack's spunk on the concrete in front of me, and realize what she had meant when she said she couldn't help herself. Did he fuck her? After what just happened I wouldn't put anything past Jack, and there is literally nothing I wouldn't forgive her for having done. She would have been helpless to stop.

I can feel my whole body burning as I get up from the concrete. I'm very aware how my clothes rubs against my body, like my senses have just gone into overdrive. Everything, every single muscle in my body feels sore. My head is spinning. Still coughing I stagger towards my car and get in behind the wheels. As I close the door the world goes silent. I can only hear my own exhausted panting. I'm confused about what is happening and feel sick as shit, but at least the world isn't spinning anymore. Somehow I must have been poisoned. What did he mean with "in the bloodstream?"

I start the car and carefully drive from the parking lot and out in the direction of home. Perhaps I shouldn't be driving at all. Crashing while driving is worse than crashing while sitting in a parking lot, but I really don't want to have to call anyone for help. Not after what I've just been through. I so sympathize with the movie cliché of a girl sobbing in the shower. I only want to cleanse myself in any way possible. To get rid of Jack from me. Even now I can feel the smell of athletic sweat, like it was clinging on to me.

There is a big pop accompanied by one of the chest buttons on my shirt shooting off in the car. The pop isn't so much heard as felt, as a reverberation in my body like someone just punched me in the chest, with dull spikes of pain in the joints. I swerve dangerously close to the side of the road. It feels like my shoulders pops into their sockets, like my chest just suddenly expands and the rest of my body catches up. There is no mirror I can look in, but I can clearly see something is off just by looking down at my body. What little movement I can make while driving the car feels different.

There is another big shift. Knees and hip joints this time, I think. I'm a little more prepared to handle that one without swerving, but this time I'm instead missing the brake pedal like the seat is set wrong. I scoot forward on the seat and reach the pedal. Now I'm getting real nervous what is happening. I'm almost home though, but I can feel my thigh muscles involuntarily flexing, my feet are hurting, and my stomach is gurgling like bad plumbing.

Her car is not home yet, thank God. I park mine as calmly as I can, screaming inside that I need to get inside and see what the fuck is going on. As I step out of the car I get a first inkling about the enormity of the changes. I almost trip stepping out of the car, and sit down again on the edge of the seat. The fabric on the trousers are straining, and I realize that my feet are probably hurting because they have swollen up inside the shoes. I try to kick off one of the sneakers, but it's stuck enough that I have to untie them. My movements feel off. It's not that it is hard to move. The opposite in fact, but different somehow. Me feet thanks me in relief as they are freed,

With the shoes off I awkwardly make my way into the house and step into the nearest bathroom. It's me in the mirror, of course, but me 5-10 years younger. I'm touching my face in disbelief. But this isn't just me regressed a decade in time. I was way taller than this then. Curious I unbutton the remaining buttons on my shirt and throw it on the floor. The chest and abs are not me 5-10 years ago. I've never looked this buff before. For one I've never had washboard abs, and the pecs and shoulders are wide and meaty. The arms more slender, though still muscular, and the core is built more for function than aesthetics. A bit too dense for the show off V shape. Dense, with a low center of gravity.

It's the body of a hockey player.

I rip off the straining trousers and the socks. Sure enough, massive leg muscles, big thighs, big ass, big feet. Jack the fucking cheater is a fraud in all areas. Whatever the fuck he is taking must have concentrated in his balls, shot into my lungs, and from there gone straight into my bloodstream to do whatever the fuck it's done to me. And there is nothing I can do to hurt him with it. Who would believe me? This is so far from any science I've heard of.

I take a closer look in the mirror again. Perhaps it isn't all bad after all.