#bonehead boon

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO, WILD FUN

☠️ Bonehead Boon☠️  (½) - for Lifeblood Hades Comic Anthology

Zagreus wishes Skelly could leave the courtyard; Chaos ensues. (17 pages)

❗️Leftover sales of the anthology is on March 18, 2022! Link in pinned post❗️

[sleepy-pigeonn]

A Look Into My Hades Fan Animatic

I don't know to call this other than a collection of resources and reflections about the process of making the animatic. Hopefully it's interesting or helpful for someone. But feel free to ask questions if you'd like clarification/more info!

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Inspiration (A non-exhaustive list)

It's possible that I've seen/read fan works that may have inspired me unconsciously, so there's no way I can possibly include references to them all. However, the ones I listed here are ones I recall looking back at repeatedly.

The fancomics "First Flight" and "Bonehead Boon" by Liana Sposto

Robbie Elliot Art's animation "Take Tonight"

Toastyglow's animation "Glitter & Gold" and PMV "This Year"

Storyboards posted by Paige Caldwell (@/papernewt) on Instagram

Zag admiring some of these beautiful fanworks.

The following sections are below the cut: References, Songs, Script and Thumbnails, Studies, Drawing, Editing, Random Facts

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References

These were very helpful to creating the animatic!!

In-game references

Hades Wiki

3D Model of Zagreus by @/chunyou_ on Twitter

I also used screenshots I took while playing

General references

"How To Direct A Fight Scene" by Howard Wimshurst

Poses from the photo libraries of The Pose Archives and AdorkaStock

3D Model of Male and Female Heads by William Nguyen

I also just looked stuff up online or took videos of myself acting out some of the movements.

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Songs

I thought of basing my animatic on any of the following songs:

"Icarus" by Bastille

"Dirty" by grandson

"Underworld" by CYPRSS *

"I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme)" by John Rzeznik

"I'm Gonna Win" by Rob Cantor **

"Could Have Been Me" by the Struts

They all have a varied degree of "Zagreus vibes" but I wanted a song that could be used to show as much of the game as possible. "Could Have Been Me" was the song that I could imagine more things for, so it is the one I ended up using.

* Look at this awesome Zagreus fan art based on this song

** Some of the lyrics for this song are so fitting for Zag but others are pretty ooc.

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Script and Thumbnails

I've seen other artists annotate the lyrics to the song they are working with and attempted that here. But that process is a little confusing for me, so I kept these descriptions vague. It was helpful in keeping track of ideas, since some of them are faster to write down than draw. Especially for fight sequences.

I used Storyboarder for the thumbnails. I opted for this program because (1) it lets you add an audio file and (2) it has very basic tools. It can be used in a more nuanced way than I did. However, with 3 and a half minutes of frames to work out I needed something that helps me draft down ideas efficiently and without overwhelming me. And this was pretty good program for that.

The script and thumbnails happened in tandem a lot of the time. Think of it as brainstorming, both in vague writing and loose drawings. At this point I am trying to see if these ideas flow with the song, if they are readable, if they achieve what I had in mind.

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Studies

Okay. So I am happy with my ideas. Now. How do I make sure the drawings are identifiable as taking place in the game?

This is where those in-game references came in handy. I looked back at my thumbnails and made a list of everything I would need. From characters to locations. Once I had these down, I made folders to make sure everything would be nice and organized.

I tend to avoid backgrounds like the plague. However, for some of these shots to work I need to give the viewer a sense of where the action is taking place. I know that I struggle imagining three-dimensional spaces while drawing digitally. So, using my thumbnails and the references I gathered, I did studies of all the locations I thought would be important using good old paper and ink. This also served to fine-tune shot compositions.

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Drawing

The animatic itself was drawn using Krita. Usually, I worked on all the backgrounds using the studies as a base and then added the characters. My drawings started very rough for a couple of reasons. The main one was that with ~200 frames ahead of me I was afraid of letting my inner perfectionist get me stuck. I kept reminding myself that, being an animatic, the drawings could be rough as long as they are still readable. As I got more comfortable using Krita, I was able to create cleaner backgrounds.

Even so, I hit an art block around the two minute mark where I Could Not Draw. This is where I heavily relied on those References I Keep Talking About. They were my savior and are the main cause for the more "finished" look towards the end of the animatic. I think the best example of this was the shot featuring Thanatos. I was deep in the art block territory by the time I needed to go from thumbnail (top left) to final frame. No matter how much I redrew them, I didn't like how they turned out (top right). To work this out, I found references from The Pose Archives and used them as a guide (bottom left) to get a sketch that I liked (bottom right). I felt this look was more sketchy than I've would like so I ended up cleaning it. I followed a similar process for most of the frames following this one. As a result, the final frames of the video turned out cleaner.

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Editing

Once I had all my frames ready to go, I imported them into HitFilm Express and made a composite shot where I basically just matched the timing of the frames to the music. Frames that have camera movements (like the very first frame) were made in their own composite shots. I ended up having to delete some frames so some sections didn't feel rushed. In the end, there's like 5 versions of the animatic because I kept making little changes. The biggest was adding Zag's dialogue at the beginning since I felt the video started up too quiet. I don't have any images for this stage. Please have this comparison instead.

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Random Facts ✨

Adding color was a last minute decision, it was mainly because I thought a colorful sunset would be prettier. My original plan was to shift the gray tones of the background into more yellowish tones once Zagreus reaches the surface, but keeping everything monochromatic.

If you pause quickly on the very last frame you'll see I accidentally made Zag's leggings black instead of red. I was on auto pilot at this point. Adding color was worth it overall but so time consuming. My respects to people who do fully colored animatics.

I wish I made Meg a pinker (or blue) hue rather than purple. In my mind I saved purple for characters related to Nyx (hence why Hypnos, Than, Chaos, and Charon have shades of purple). But I guess it is a sweet detail because of how Meg confides in Nyx in the game.

I kept a log of all my progress. Apparently getting the thumbnails done took about five months (August 2023 - January 2024)?? Anyways I leave you with these entries.

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Thank you for reading! I hope it goes without saying but I really appreciate all the support this animatic has received. All the hearts and comments and tags, they mean a lot.

[bluewhale-news]

Police scrutinize Florida 'bonehead' who took sheriff's vehicle and killed 3 including herself

A Florida lady took a representative sheriff’s watch vehicle and sent policing a vehicle pursuit that finished with her and two others dead. The lady — later recognized as Kendra Boone, 33 — grabbed specialists’ eye on Thursday after she was accounted for supposedly attempting to take a more seasoned lady’s keys in Silver Springs, the Marion Region Sheriff Billy Woods said at a question and…

[st-louis]

hey i have a question if you don't mind: i haven't been watching the flyers games, i'll be honest but i've seen the scores - and I am happy for them obviously.. but i'm a bit confused too if i'm being honest lmao.. do you think john tortorella really was the thing they were missing ? - divingsave

of course i don't mind!!

the short answer is: no.

they are definitely getting a bit of a new coach boost—look how the canucks played under boudreau at first and look at them now. that particular effect will be bound to wear off in time.

what i will give tortorella credit for is that for however long it lasts, they ARE doing a shitload of the "little" things that they weren't doing last year that made me want to tear my hair out (i.e. actually backchecking, better coverage, less boneheaded panic mistakes etc). and whether that's trying to impress a new coach or whether he's actually motivated them somehow, it's hard to tell.

i think a lot of it is that the roster are underdogs and feel they have a lot to prove. there are some young guys who made the team for the first time who are fighting to stay there and have been doing a pretty good job (zamula has been great positionally; n. cates has been very good; frost has been great!). but the fact is that on paper, this is not a good roster. so things are going to regress there too. our fourth line is handsome maybe, but they're not very good at hockey. and like...kevin hayes is not a first line center. he’s just not. he might be playing on the first line, but if he’s on your first line that’s a problem.

all of these fights are going to come back to bite them in the ass. whether that’s through injuries or goals against on the pk, i don’t know. but i don’t like this trend i’ve been seeing.

tk playing at this level for a full season would be huge for them. beezer being healthy and taking a step forward would be huge for them. getting coots back (hopefully) will be huge for them. provy regaining some kind of his form from his first few seasons would be huge for them, but i truly don't think he's the kind of guy who can carry a pair on his own and uhhh. i do believe that him and t*ny d*angelo together for an entire season is not gonna be super great as a first pair.

(but also some of the minuses are helping. again i know we are all big risto appearance appreciators on flyers lb but uhhhhh. he is VERY bad at hockey and i honestly think him being on IR has been a bit of a boon. especially when i talked about doing the little things right. can't tell you how many times last season he did something dumb in his own zone that led directly to a goal.)

they're also getting the kind of goaltending that i know carter is capable of. .943 sv% over those three games. right now he is the third best goalie in the league by moneypuck's rankings for GSAx. whether he can keep that up over a whole season, i don't know. he definitely can’t play a whole season alone. and the backup goalie sitch is also a question mark. sandström and ersson have both looked good to me in small sample sizes but they also have both dealt with injuries and haven't gotten extended nhl looks. and the goalie depth behind them is...not great.

finally, this isn't the first time the flyers have come hot out of the gate. they won 6/10 of their first ten games last year and 7/10 the year before that. and both of those seasons were [screeching, honking]. so don't necessarily be fooled by good results early. not with the flyers. lmao.

that being said i will try to enjoy the wins while i can.

[parasite-core]

@faunscozyspace so here’s the looong answer

So Draven was a regular poor farm kid in Mendev, the country unfortunate enough to be next to a demonic rip in reality called the Worldwound. Because of it the land is mostly fallow so farming is not lucrative. His parents supplemented it by fishing in the Lake of Mists and Veils, but the lake is treacherous and they had to be cautious with their expeditions. His father also did odd jobs around town, helping to fix roofs and tools or tend to cattle, and was all around generally well liked, so they got by because of their community.

Then one day demons broke through the Wardstone barrier protecting the rest of the world from the Worldwound. This demon raiding party came across Draven’s family farm, and they tortured and slaughtered everyone inside. They were not fast about it, and at one point Draven lost consciousness from the pain and trauma of what was happening around him. He was saved by some local retired crusaders who’d heard the commotion and grabbed their old arms and armor to slay and chase off the abyssal scourge. Unfortunately, Draven was the only survivor. He was in a coma for close to a month while his wounds healed—all but a terrible mark on his left arm, the Mark of Deskari, the demon lord of Locusts and Pestilence, which never closed and scarred, but festered and bled. The cleric’s finally had him bandage it and told him to keep it hidden, as others would jump to the wrong conclusions about such a thing.

Unfortunately rumors had already begun to spread, and by the time he was taken into the Light-Oath Orphanage, owned by one of the retired crusaders, former captain Scarlet Jules, the children had heard of him. The boy who had survived what no one should have. The boy whose body had become strangely hardy since the ordeal, despite having been a somewhat scrawny kid in his youth. The boy who might have made a deal with a demon. The boy who might have demonic blood inside of him. The boy marked by evil. The boy who might not be a boy as all, but a demon in disguise. All kinds of rumors followed him, and it left him isolated from his peers.

Until Leto Jules held out a hand of friendship.

Leto was a brilliant golden tiefling, abandoned to the orphanage with no record of who his mother and father were. He was roughly the same age as Draven, maybe a little younger. He understood being shunned for rumors and connections to demons you had no control over. So he tried to invite Draven to play with him. At first Draven was hesitant. He had never met a tiefling before, and his appearance with his sharp fangs and twisted horns brought to mind the monsters that had killed his family and tortured him. He refused. But Leto did not relent. He kept trying to befriend Draven, taking every opportunity he could to try to include him. He wouldn’t force the subject when Draven said no, but he would always come back when another opportunity arose. Eventually Draven warmed up to his presence, and then grew fond of it. After a year together the two of them became inseparable. Draven in time grew to think of Leto as a surrogate brother. Leto in turn grew very protective of Draven, despite Draven seeing himself as the one who needed to protect those around him.

And as those two grew close, Leto’s natural charm began drawing others to them as well. Gabrielle, a kindhearted aasimar cleric, whose instructors feared she was too soft for the work of a field medic. Sophia, an orphaned Kellid girl who lived up to her people’s reputation for battle. She was fierce and vicious, but she had a clear soft spot for Gabrielle, who also worried over her in combat and tended to favor healing her—sometimes to the detriment of others. Everyone in the group knew Sophia had a crush on Gabbie and vice-versa—it was only a matter of time until those two boneheads came out and admitted it. Issac, the youngest of the group and the only one besides Draven who didn’t came to the orphanage as an infant. Issac lost his parents in an accident he didn’t like talking about when he was 13. He was quiet, shy, extremely unsure of himself despite his clear skill with magic, and always a bit droopy-eyed, like she was about to fall asleep. He was also the only religious skeptic in the group, despite being a celestial blooded sorcerer. And last but certainly not least was Lorette, a bard who was seeking for his friends to make big names for themselves so he could be the one to write the ballads and tales and earn a name for himself in that manner. He was a short blond man whose large personality made up for his stature. He was always the most boisterous in the room, always the center of attention, and generally pretty well liked by the sorts who enjoy his kind of big personality.

So these six made an adventuring party, and when Draven was 20 they headed out to the Crusader city of Kenabres to enlist.

Things…didn’t go well. About an hour outside of the city, a demon broke through the Wardstone again. Draven felt the Mark of Deskari on his arm begin to burn and bleed severely, and he immediately knew something was wrong. There was no time to warn his friends before all hell broke loose. They had trained together, they knew how to fight…in theory. But they had never been in a real battle. And they didn’t have cold iron or good aligned weapons, so even when they did hit the target it did nothing. The demon ripped them apart. Gabrielle—innocent and sweet, aimed at for being an aasimar, never saw it coming. Sophia—flying into a hopeless rage over the love she’d never confessed to’s corpse, before falling beside her. Issac, terrified, trying to draw on his celestial power in one breath and cursing the gods that had turned his life into this mockery in the next. He fell silent with barely a whimper. Lorette tried to flee, all grandeur lost. He didn’t get far.

Draven tried to defend Leto with his shield. He felt claws rake across his face, there was a terrible pain and then a terrible cold, and then the next thing he remembers is waking up in a temple’s healing center in Kenabres. Somehow Leto had gotten them to safety, the lucky bastard. But not before Draven had lost his left eye.

He had to spend the next year relearning the sword and shield with only one eye, regaining his hand eye coordination and relearning to tell distances, and in that time he ended up relegated to the lowest most looked down upon branch of the crusades: The Raven Corps. And there he remained.

Until the fateful day the Wardstone was destroyed, he and six others were tossed into the caverns below Kenabres, and by the end of it his recent friend and mentee from the Raven Corps, Auriel Answerer, died in battle against a Baphomet Cultist who had been leading a conspiracy to infiltration the Church of Iomedae, after dealing her a crippling blow. Auriel we discovered after his death had been meant to be Iomedae’s Chosen One, the Paladin to wield the intelligent holy sword Radiance. However since Auriel’s spirit vouched for Draven, both the honor and the burden or wielding Radiance fell to Draven. Radiation was not pleased—they did not come off as terribly fond of their replacement wielder who wasn’t even a true Paladin.

Not longe after we met an eldritch archer magus in the sewers looking after some orphans. So our party became Luna the innocent accused serial killer The Butcher of Balestreet, Melody the Inquisitor of Shelyn who followed a holy songbird to find us, and Hiskaria a convicted murderer who was supposed to be in the Raven’s Corps as community service under orders of her land’s kind Kevoth-Kul after all forms of execution failed. So Draven has Hiskaria as his responsibility now whether he likes it or not (she grows on him)

Since then long story’s short: we met The person Draven hero worships, Commander Irabeth Tirabade, got a mission from her to destroy the final shard of the Wardstone before the cultists could turn it into a weapon of mass destruction. So we did. And Draven got closer to the party after spending a long time holding them at arm’s length because they risked everything to keep Leto safe after Draven saw a scry that he was in danger and that if they retreated now he might not make it back safely. Hiskaria avoided our entire boss fight by tapping the Wardstone shard with a rod of cancellation while we had her distracted and it blew up and tore the enemies apart. We had some visions of what was meant to happen—all bad—but we broke fate and made a better reality. Then we got the power of the Wardstone and became mythic.

After that we’ve met Iomedae the Inheritor, Draven’s goddess, herself and got three boons from her for helping to cleanse her temple of the Deskari cultists and their desecration. Then we met the Queen of a Mendev who was somehow equally cool. She knighted all of us and promoted Draven whether he likes it or not. So after naming his new Legion he is now Sir Draven Imani, the One-Eye’d Knight, Commander of the Adamant Shield Legion.

A Legion strong enough to stand unyielding before the forces of the Worldwound like an Adamantine Shield to protect the innocent of the world outside.

Since then we’ve led Draven’s army to liberate a number of fortresses. Had some insubordination that almost ended really badly when some of the men went to desert—and then they were snatched up by gargoyles. We fought through hordes of ghouls, gargoyles, a half-fiend gargoyle inquisitor, an incubus, and a nabasu to get to them. The nabasu killed Melody, but by a miracle there was a scroll of resurrection with the healing supplies kept under the podium behind the podium of what was once a church of Iomedae, Draven isn’t powerful enough to cast this magic consistently, so he had to take a gamble…and it worked. With Iomedae and Shelyn’s blessings the spell worked, and we had Melody back. For the first time ever Draven’s curse did not take hold.

The three crusaders we saved were ashamed after we’d literally put our lives in the line for them, and they returned to camp. Draven later spoke to their ringleader Arles. He explained he knew were Arles was coming from—mourning caused people to act irrationally. He just hoped it wouldn’t cause them more problems in the future. Arles gave Draven a book of tactics to look over to try to be a better commander in future battles, which from an inscription inside of the cover Draven discovered was originally from Arles’ love Jellel, who had died under Draven’s command in his first real battle leading an army. He committed Jellel’s name to memory, ashamed that he had been so new to command that he hadn’t known anything about them before they died because of his imperfect orders. From here out he became much more focused on his soldiers. He prioritizes what will be best for his men, he doesn’t want to betray the trust of people who are putting their lives on the line for him. Legit if it ever comes down to a choice between doing something that will protect his army or something that protects the party, I don’t know which side of the coin he’ll land on. But I’m heavily leaning protect his men. The others can take care of themselves. His army relies on him, he’s the one with mythic power leading them, if he were to abandon them he’d be choosing the deaths of hundreds or thousands of people and he couldn’t live with himself if he did that.

Fun fact: One of Draven’s mythic abilities is called Divine Source. It gives him two domains as if he were a god, and people who follow him can prepare spells from him as if he were a god. He has *no idea* he has this ability, beyond suddenly having a few new spell-like abilities he didn’t before, but he’s just chalking that up to ‘Wardstone weirdness’ same with him suddenly learning to speak celestial (and he’s going to freak when he suddenly learns Abyssal next level 😈) I look forward to the day someone in his army spontaneously starts getting protection domain spells from him and it’s like “that’s not Iomedaen. Draven we’ve seen you cast this on Melody before do you know what this is?” And Draven will nope out of existence because he didn’t want to be a commander he definitely doesn’t want to be a god or god adjacent, Melody can be the party’s demi-god thanks.

Anyways he led his army to march on the Citadel city of Drezen, which had been captured and held by demons for 100 years. No one had managed to get close to taking it back since, everyone who had tried died.

The party took it back in three days. One to clear out the exterior defenses. One to clear out the first floor and kill the army’s commanding officer and show off his severed head in the most dramatic way Draven could think of to make the enemy army retreat, and one to go into the basement and kill a Shadow Demon and save their friend who he was possessing.

And then the demon general Aponavicious almost cut Draven’s head off through a portal, if he hadn’t activated the magical Sword of Valor—the banner once wielder by Iomedae herself—at just the right time. It closed the portal and saved his life. But things weren’t over. She couldn’t teleport directly in, but she could teleport her army outside and march on Drezen. And that’s what she began to do. With an army of thousands upon thousands of demons.

Until a single figure in shining silver armor stepped out from behind Aponavicious. A golden tiefling. He spoke to her, then viciously wrapped her in spiked chains. Words were had, and then the army retreated.

Leto looked across the battlefield at Draven, held up his right hand, and Draven felt the mark on his left hand began to react. He heard Leto’s voice in his head. “Don’t worry. I won’t let them hurt you.”

Then he teleported away, too.

So Draven was nearly catatonic for a bit after that revelation of his brother working with the enemy. He tried Sending Leto but only got a response that wishes come true when you least expect them, and to meet him at the Ivory Labyrinth. And that he would protect him.

So Draven is extremely confused. Then a few days later it turned out Melody is actually the demigod child of Desna and Shelyn, so there’s that on top of things. Then Draven had some more self revelations a few days later.

None of them good.

They’d been asked by Irabeth, who’d been promoted to Lord Captain of Drezen, to look into stopping some raiders who were attacking their supply lines. Easy right? Just people, no cults, no demons, just desperate people in the Worldwound making bad choices. We could deal with that.

Or so we thought, until the party got lost in a petrified forest in the way to the raiders fortress, and Draven’s mark started acting up, so consistently that they could use it as a compass pointing the way to their destination. So clearly there was more to this than met the eyes.

Luna discovered that the raiders were being held here and forced to continue their raids at threat of death by their leader Marhokev. Luna promised if he led them to their leader, she and her friends would take care of him so they could go free. He warned that if it came down to a fight, Marhokev would force us to fight the raiders. Luna assured him that we had a lot of resources in our side to keep them safe. The raider placed his faith in us, and after working out how to get the entire party past the alarms Luna had passed via Invisibility, we were led inside.

There Draven met a large raider man who immediately locked eyes with him and grinned, referring to Draven as kin. Seeing Draven’s confusion he explained they both shared Lady Jerribeth’s blood. And they had both made a wish. Draven was confused and trying not to give into his first instinct to just go on the offensive, instead shakily explaining that he didn’t know what the man was talking about. Marhokev laughed, realizing Draven didn’t remember what he had wished for. So he told Draven a story. About his own life. His family had lived faithfully in Mendev for generations. And all it had saddled him with was demonic taint in his blood. He’d lived with a violent temper his entire time. He’d found it impossible to make a name for himself, or to keep down any sort of respectable position.

Then one day Lady Jerribeth came to him, and offered him anything he could desire. So he wished for power. And now he had it. Power and people to lord it over. He was living the life of a king as a raider. So, when given the chance to have it all, he took it. And it appeared when Draven was given the same chance, he’d squandered it away on something he couldn’t even recall. A pity. But Mahokev still felt something for their kinship, so he was willing to open his arms to let Draven join his band.

Draven said absolutely not, and that the time for talking was over. That was his final answer. He saw now what sort of man Mahokev was, and hr wasn’t one Draven could do anything for.

The raider flew into a mindless rage and attacked Draven, but Draven reflected him off his shield. Draven managed to hit the raider, but his rage powers activated to begin healing the damage, leaving Draven’s average sword arm virtually useless as-is.

While he had his stand off, Hiskaria blasted the raider’s pet ice drake with a scorching ray and peppered it with arrows, quickly finishing the beast before it was a terrible threat.

And Melody began dancing, distracting the other raiders so that the party wouldn’t have to hurt them.

Hiskaria and Luna began helping Draven to damage the raider, their much more respectable damage output doing a number on him. He made a break for it, aiming for Melody to try to snap his minions out of their trances.

Draven was having none of that. He was aiming to stop him in his tracks—but he stopped him alright, with a blade right through the rib cage and into the heart. Marhokev fell.

It appeared the battle was over. Melody ended her performance with a flourish, the raiders were grateful that we hadn’t killed any of them and that now they could leave the Worldwound and return to the places they’d once been from, or make new homes elsewhere.

None of the party were paying Marhokev’s corpse any mind. Not until his marked arm had ripped itself from its socket, and clamped onto Draven’s throat. He failed his save and suffocated, being knocked unconscious immediately despite his frankly absurd number of hit points. Melody ran over and yanked the hand off Draven. Burnt flesh pulled away from where the hand met skin, and underneath a second Mark of Deskari was emblazoned across his neck.

Draven’s had a lot to think about since then. His feelings about having demon’s blood in his veins in general, as well as his feelings about it being Jerribeth’s blood specifically, the architect of Drezen’s fall, likely the cause of his family’s deaths, likely the Glabrezu who made Leto start acting strangely, and a demon with untold amounts of innocent blood on her hands. He’s wondering exactly what he wished for—he assumes as a terrified tortured child who just saw his family tortured and killed that he probably wished for it to end and to be safe, but he doesn’t know the exact wording, which with these things the exact wording is important. He’s going to wait to talk to Nurah to try to regain his lost memories for that. He’s also really worried about what sort of wish Leto made. And he’s worried that he’s compromised, that when he meets Jerribeth in person no matter how much he hates her she’ll be able to worm her way into his mind and make him do what she wants because of him being so bound to her. Plus the foreboding feeling about having a new mark of Deskari, and the fact he feel like more power began to awaken within him when he received it. The fear that his soul is bound for Deskari no matter how faithful he is to Iomedae, and had been since he was a child. There’s just…a lot.

He also just really wants to kill Jerribeth.

[get-lost-in-fanfiction]

LOST - Another Story

Rating: M

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: I cranked this out fast, and I’m pretty proud of it. Enjoy Hearts and Minds!

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Hearts and Minds

When Hearts and Minds rolls around I find myself seeking Sun and her garden out. I figure I haven’t spent a lot of time with her, and I want to make it count knowing the months ahead. I can’t exactly remember where Sun’s garden is, but I figure if I wander around in the jungle I’ll find it eventually using the magic of the Island (or maybe TV).

So I spend half a morning trekking through the jungle through already worn paths to try and find Sun’s garden. I’m about to give up when I hear a non-jungle noise and I push back some brush to see Sun. She looks up in worry when I rustle the leaves, but gives me a smile when she notices it’s me.

“Hey Sun,” I call, setting my pack down on the outskirts of the garden, “This place is well hidden.”

“Yes it is, that’s why I picked this spot,” Sun replies, covering her forehead with her hand to block out the sun.

I laugh, “Well I came to find you, since well, I knew you’d be here. Maybe we can just chill and talk? Kate is going to come by as well though.”

Sun just nods with a smile, “Yes she already had come across me,” she says as she plants some herbs. I push the sleeves of my shirt up to my shoulders and get to work with Sun. We work in silence, but it’s not an awkward one. I can tell Sun wants to ask me questions, but can’t seem to formulate the words to ask them. I realize I don’t know how to start a conversation either, and so I resolve to keeping the silence.

Sun and I break the ice when she asks me if I want to learn a few words in Korean. Obviously, I say yes, and she coaches me through pronunciations of a few of the plants we’re planting. I laugh when I can't get the syllables right, and Sun just commends me for doing my best. It's about midday when Jack and Kate come. I can hear their conversation, as does Sun, and we get back to working in silence.

“Please tell me you found a coffee bar,” Jack’s voice says as he approaches.

“Not quite,” I hear Kate say and as I look up they appear. Jack’s face lights up as Sun looks up at Jack then to me.

“When did you do all this?” Jack asks Kate but also looking at me to direct the question my way.

“I didn't. It was all Sun,” Kate says, pausing to look at me, “And Amelia too apparently. I just wandered into this place the other day when I was out picking fruit.”

They kneel down, “This is, is beautiful,” Jack stumbles as he says to Sun, “It's great,” he then says to me, and Sun and I smile.

“She planted some herbs and some low growing stuff here,” Kate says, “And then she started a grove over there.”

“Smart. With the boar running out we're going to need as much food as we can possibly get,” Jack responds and I look away at the mention of the boar.

“Maybe it's not running out,” Kate suggests, and I decide to look up at her to seem less suspicious.

“What do you mean?” Jack asks, noticing my reaction. Kate looks at me as well, taking note at my expression.

“Well, you're half right,” I start slowly and choosing my words carefully, so as to not give away any information about the hatch, “Locke and Boone- are having trouble finding the boar. They're getting harder to catch.” I lie.

“Having trouble?” Jack asks, and I can tell he bought the lie. I don't look at Kate in case she knows I’m lying somehow.

“Yeah, more sparse, knowing that people are hunting them,” I explain, pulling all of it out of my ass, “They know the jungle better than us, obviously, and Locke and Boone are just inexperienced.”

Jack and Kate regard me for a moment, and by the looks on their faces, I can tell they believe me. I sigh in relief to myself and offer a smile externally.

Jack and Kate have a conversation and Sun goes back to work in the garden. I stare off into the distance thinking about how Boone is being manipulated by Locke and how Locke is going to tie Boone up. I shudder slightly, and that wakes me from my thoughts. No one is watching me, though, but I still decide to help Sun some more. Eventually, Jack leaves and Kate stays. I want to leave as well and try to help Boone. He's a bonehead but I don't want to see him struggle. Maybe I can even save his life in Do No Harm.

Kate is saying something, and I see out of the corner of my eye Sun just working. I can tell it's hard for her to keep the secret. It's been 3 weeks, and honestly, I don't think I could keep a secret that long either. Hell, I at least told someone my secret on the first day here. Maybe I'm pathetic.

“I can't believe we've been here for over 3 weeks,” Kate says and her words catch my ear. Only because I was just thinking them, “I was on my way to Bali. I travel a lot. I was looking forward to exploring the Island. Somehow I ended up on a flight to LA, instead. Guess that falls under the category -- be careful what you wish for,” I look up to see Sun smile, Kate’s face falls in shock, “You understood me. You did, didn't you, you just understood what I said? You speak English?”

“Please, don't tell anyone,” Sun says finally, and Kate turns to me.

“Did you know about this?” Kate asks and I raise my hands defensively despite her calm tone.

“I sought her out, actually. Knowing she had a secret I thought it would be good to have someone who understands what it's like,” I say calmly and Sun just nods. I realize my words sound odd and possessive, but I’m sure Kate doesn't think of it that way.

I don’t hear what Kate and Sun say next, I’m too preoccupied by thoughts of Boone. That makes me upset. I hate that I want to save him. I have to, though, or at least try. Maybe I can end his trip early and get him to see what a manipulative person Locke is.

“I’d really love to keep talking about this, but I have to run,” I say as I brush off my pants and hands, “Bye-” I say before running off into the jungle. I head in the general direction of where I think the hatch is, man this is a lot harder in real life.

I feel like I’m running around in circles, and time just drags on until I feel no hope of finding Boone. I hear the sound of a struggle and I think I’ve found him.

“Hold on Shannon, I'm coming!” I hear a voice shout, and the familiar dialogue alerts me to Boone.

“Boone? Boone!” I shout and I round the corner to see Boone struggling to try and reach the knife, but almost reaching it. I figure Boone can’t hear me, and I can tell from here his eyes are glazed over.

Boone struggles more and I decide to grab it before him, “Boone!” I shout and kneel in front of him.

“Shannon! Shannon!” Boone shouts and I flinch away from him since his yell is so loud.

“Boone, listen to me, listen!” I try and shout back, but when he struggles more I decide to stick the knife in the tree above him so I don't get stabbed again.

“Boone, listen to me. It's Amelia, you’re having a hallucination, Shannon isn’t here!” I do my best to speak loudly and clearly, but Boone is still struggling against his bonds.

“No no Shannon! The monster! the monster! Shannon!!” Boone shouts again. I huff and slap him across the face. To my surprise it works and Boon stares at me completely afraid.

“Boone…” I sigh, feeling really out of breath through the struggle and the shouting.

“Oh my god, Amelia what happened?” Boone asks, slumping against the tree and looking up to see the knife above his head.

“Locke happened, do you remember?” I ask as I yank the knife out of the bark and move around to cut him free. When I do he rubs his wrists in pain.

“We were talking about the-“ Boone begins but stops suddenly and looks at me in terror.

“I know about the hatch Boone, continue,” I say to his expression, and it softens a little.

“We were talking about the hatch and how I wanted to tell Shannon. But Locke knocked me out, tied me up, and put this weird stuff on the wound,” Boone says and I’m relieved he remembers. I hesitate for a moment, then rip a strip from my shirt and wipe off the gunk on Boone’s head.

“Well the important thing is that you remember what happened,” I begin and sigh to myself, “I just don’t remember why Locke did this in the first place…”

“To keep the hatch hidden, right?” Boone asks and I nod slowly in agreement.

“I suppose..” I trail off in thought. I go to stand up, but Boone catches my wrist.

“Thank you for saving me,” He says as he pulls me back down. I’m powerless to stop this, though. He kisses me, which is exactly what I thought would happen. I don’t resist, though, maybe because I’m actually shocked he would do that.

I push away, feeling lightheaded and kind of sick. I’m not with Sawyer and Boone is free so what’s the harm? The harm is that he’s going to die, Sawyer isn’t going to die. Yet, I changed this scene. Right here, right now, Boone isn’t having a hallucination. Maybe I can save him.

“Amelia?” Boone whispers to me, and I can feel his hot breath on the shell of my ear. It only makes me feel nauseous.

I shove Boone away and stand up, “No Boone,” I say, crossing my arms over my body protectively.

“Amelia wait- I thought you wanted that?” Boone says and I just shake my head. I feel like I’m going to pass out.

“Can we go back to camp?”

“Amelia-“

“Can we go back to camp?” I ask again with way more force this time.

“Yeah…”

We make it to camp and it's not even sunset yet. I guess when you’re upset you walk fast. I grab around my back to get my pack but I realize I left it at Sun’s garden. Shit. I mentally smack myself. I look around for Kate. I don’t know if she and Sun made it back yet. I feel like so much has changed, yet so little. I don’t even know if they’re at the beach.

“Blue eyes you seem lost!” I hear a southern voice call, and I look up to see Sawyer talking towards me. Then I catch Boone out of the corner of my eye and I don’t react in time.

“Back off her!” Boone shouts in an obvious display of overreaction and runs at Sawyer.

“Boone!!” I shout as well, running forward to try to get between Sawyer and Boone. Somehow I make it and press my palms into both of the men’s chests.

“What are you talking about, boy?” Sawyer taunts, pressing into my hand and making my arms shake in exertion.

“Sawyer?!” I cry out, and he stops immediately.

“Amelia, are you okay?” Boone softens his voice immediately and again I feel disgusted. I push him with both my hands and back up into Sawyer’s chest. He catches me with his hands on my shoulders.

“Go away Boone,” I say firmly, tears springing to my eyes.

“But-?” Boone tries to say, moving towards me.

“Just go!” I shout and he backs off. I can tell he’s shooting daggers at Sawyer. He bumps into people as he walks away, and they look at Sawyer and I.

Then Sawyer is leading me back to our tents. I feel numb. This is not how I wanted this “episode” to go. I just wanted to save Boone, but as the sun is starting to set I can tell he’s off to find Locke again. Tears stream down my face silently, and my whole body feels like a tightly wound coil. Like I might spring up any second and lose all my cool.

Sawyer steers me to his makeshift bed, and makes me sit down. He kneels in front of me and regards me with the softest expression I’ve ever seen Season One Sawyer make. Maybe if I wasn’t so distressed right now I could appreciate this moment of sincerity. He doesn’t speak for a long time. He lets me cry, even though it's quiet. I find myself wishing he’d hold me.

When the sun is beginning to set, and I’ve calmed myself considerably, Sawyer gets up and sits next to me. I wipe my tears and look away from him. Suddenly I’m embarrassed by my show of emotions because I’m not one to get worked up so easily. I know Sawyer is going to ask what happened, and I’m not sure I want to tell him. I don’t want him running off and beating Boone up again and getting us into another torture situation.

“Amelia,” Sawyer begins with a sigh and I can tell he’s serious if he’s using my given name.

“Yes James?” I reply, surprised at how weak, small, and scared my voice sounds.

“Damn blue eyes, what did he do to you?” Sawyer asks with genuine surprise. I have to swallow a sob that wants to tear out my throat. It’s not that big of a deal, yet somehow it is.

“He kissed me,” I say slowly so as to not cry again, “He kissed me and I think I kissed him back and maybe he got the idea I liked it when I didn’t.”

Sawyer sits in silence, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I look at him, and in the dying light I have trouble making out his face. His hands seem normal, so maybe that's a good sign he’s not fighting the urge to sock Boone in the jaw.

“Sawyer say something,” I say cautiously after a whole 5 minutes pass.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Sawyer says with murder clear in his voice. He makes to get up but I jump off his bed and hold his arms. I know that if he really wanted to do something he could just push me aside, but in his moment my hands stop him.

“Sawyer it’s not a big deal, look,” I say as I take a step back from him, “I’m okay, I’m not hurt, and I can’t even blame him.” Sawyer eyes me for a solid 30s seconds before he pulls me back to sit down.

“I’m going to stick by you a lot closer,” Sawyer says possessively and I feel my heart pound, “I'll make sure that jackass doesn’t get near you.”

“James, that’s not necessary,” I try to reason and fight playfully against the strong arm that's keeping me from standing up again. Sawyer loosens his arm at the mention of his real name, and I know I convinced him.

“Alright, Amelia, but if I hear he did something to you, he’s gonna be dead,” Sawyer tells me in a half growl.

“Noted,” I say with a breathy laugh and I hope that he can't tell he makes me nervous. I slip myself away from his arms, and he watches me go. I walk away slowly from him, and go to try and find Boone.

I don't have to look very far, thankfully, as they’re at a fire not far away from where Sawyer and I’s tents are. I lurk in the shadows and catch part of their conversation.

“Did you see what you needed to see?” I hear Locke ask, and I flinch knowing what he means.

“No, what was I supposed to see Locke?” Boone asks angrily, and I can tell from the shift in the air Locke is getting defensive.

“You were supposed to be given an experience that I believed was vital to your survival on this Island,” Locke sas carefully, manipulative as ever. It makes me more sick than my kiss with Boone.

“So it wasn’t real?” Boone asks and I have a feeling he didn’t believe me when I told him he was having a hallucination.

“It was only as real as you made it,” Locke says and I shudder at the context.

“I saw her -- I saw her and we kissed,” Boone says and my heart stops for a moment. My breathing picks up and I struggle to stay quiet.

“How did you feel? When she kissed you?” Locke asks and I feel even worse. Maybe I should let Sawyer kill Boone after all.

“I felt -- I felt -- I felt relieved. I felt relieved,” Boone finally manages to answer and I think I’m going to throw up.

“Yes. Time to let go,” Locke says as he gets up and grabs his pack, “Follow me.”

Boone follows and once they’re out of sight I puke into the sand. It’s mostly water and the act does nothing to quell the now seemingly permanent stomach ache that’s made it’s home at the base of my stomach.

Then Kate runs up to me, and Jack as well. They sit me up and give me water. Kate asks what happened and Jack presses to see if I’m feeling alright and what I’m eating. I tell them that I’m fine and that I’m probably dehydrated. It’s a terrible lie, but they buy it anyway. They lead me back to Sawyer and my tent, and he raises an eyebrow at me. Kate walks me to my tent and gives a warning look to Sawyer. I don’t look back at him after that. I crawl into my makeshift bed and fall asleep feeling awful.

LOST

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Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in updates!

[cancellablex]

About fem g'cest! I presume Noelle "gets along" with a LOT of musicians (especially in post-oasis era)? and what about the others in the band? Gem and Noel seem really cute in HFB... Also the Oasis-Blur rivalry would be even more interesting considering Blur are still lads? (strangely I think about Johnny being Joanie Marr in this universe haha)

Okay so this has resulted in a couple retcons! and there’s now a tag! #noellia :D 

So you see, as I’ve been thinking stuffz through I was tempted to genderswap EVERYONE but then I decided that the world was the same and the only genders changed would be those that would maintain the het/gay status of the canon relationships in this world. (So we got Patrick Kensit, Mark Matthews, Nick Appleton, Sam MacDonald, and Devon Gwyther - plus Noelle’s pre-fame boyfriend Louis, plus uh Lewis Moorish AND Lewis Ghorbani good god lmao)

So like, everyone the same but the girls, their officially recognized love interests, and Clint Boon (because lbr lmao). And I was like “The Smiths have to be guys because of the homoerotic content influencing Take Me” BUT THIS IS NOT TRUE - it still works and also I’m now a Johnny/Noel truther because if my thirst comment about Noel hadn’t killed my computer I wouldn’t have opened this interview in a separate tab to finish watching and I wouldn’t have seen the comment below it claiming they were lovers and also cos one of my cest buds ships it and has given me material go read their fic. So you’re absolutely right, Joanie Marr is perfect as a hero and mentor and friend of Noelle’s!!!! 

Thank you! :D Now, about the rest of the band, they’d stay the same - so we got Bonehead and Guigsy and Tony as guys, and Bonehead is still a bro type friend of Lia’s :) even if they kissed lol, and I can see Lia having dated Tony and that’s why he got sacked lmao. Andy and Gem are still Andy and Gem! :D so Gem and Noel would also be friends, maybe an unrequited crush from Gem’s side but it still works, you know? sometimes as a lesbian you get dudes who genuinely like you as a person crushing on you but they are decent about it so you work well together and be good friends

Ah fuck... we’re gonna need female Russell Brand and Matt Morgan aren’t we? :| WE’LL DEAL WITH 2008 AND ONWARDS WHEN WE GET THERE

I think Noelle would hang out with a whole bunch of male musicians because of the music and people would rumour there was something else but like, nope lol, but it’d be fine because everybody would make a big deal about her not being traditionally attractive despite she being really quite hot and also like A ROCK QUEEN?!. And also would hang out with more female rockstars and people would be like AH SOLIDARITY AMONGST ROCK GODDESSES but nah, they banging

Much to think about 

[cosmicclownboy]

Here’s a thousand words of garbage content aka science bro fic

Working with Michael can be exasperating at times. Enlightening too. It was always one in full force the issue is Liz doesn't know which Michael she has currently. Since Max blew up the previous lab Alex offered up Jesse's bunker which is their current location it's cramped but Liz can't help but smile because each wall is decorated by Rosa making the place feel like home. And at least she doesn't have to worry about her or her sister's work being blown up Alex encoded the security system with a Max alert.

It isn't until two hours when Michael sadly looks at a text from Maria that she suspects why he's in a downer.

"Chin up Mikey I'm sure you and Maria will work things out she just needs some time " His laugh is one of disbelief. He embodies a man of pure exhaustion he's shaking his head running his hands through his hair and looking very pissed off. His hands are clenched ready for some unspoken war. "Right I forgot I couldn't possibly be thinking about anybody else" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means that after Max died you decided to project your little Romeo Juliet love affair fantasy onto me and Maria. And don't tell me you didn't Ortecho because  you and Max are still having your pining from afar sessions right now and you immediately sought out a way to talk about me and Maria" Liz is stunned. It's not like Michael hasn't been on at her for something before. Last week it was the beakers the week before that it was putting her bare very clean feet on the sofa. Only this time she thinks he's right. After Max died everything was a blur of just feeling cold and dreary she wanted one good thing to happen and somehow it became ensuring their relationship worked.

"I'm sorry- "It was never going to work.. me and Maria. It was really really stupid to think it would" Now Liz is curious. "Why was it stupid to think it?" Emotionally unloading still seems difficult for Michael so suggesting he works whilst he talks seems to help he takes to electric circuits whilst she's typing in theorems. "Maybe it's an alien thing where you just get the one person Max hasn't ever fell in love with anyone else and neither have I. We tried. Him and Jenna.Me and Maria. A couple of others over the years it just never happened. He was bound to you and I was bound to him" Realisation hits and for the first time there's a huge pit in her stomach at how wrong she's been. And if she's truly been this wrong and missed the love story encouraged the wrong one she's truly kicking herself. "You and Alex" "Me and Alex. You know Isobel loves those rom coms where the guy meets the girl when they are kids let me tell you finding your soulmate at seventeen isn't all that it's cracked up to be" "He was in the airforce for a decade" "Four thousand one hundred and two days...but who's counting". He plays up the swagger winks at her but even after a good ten seconds, Michael's already tired he messes up the wiring much to his annoyance. "He never talked much about boys to me and Maria he said most of the boys at our high school were Neanderthals none worth his time and judged our horrific crushes. He was pretty on the nose with some of them. Then one day we're having a sleepover Maria's asleep snoring on the left I'm in the middle and he turns to me and he says I think I met someone who isn't a bonehead today. I think you had about twelve nicknames over the months. Not a bonehead guy.Doesn't like long walks on the beach guy. Plays sad country twang but beats off to Radiohead guy. Museum guy. We always wondered who you were we even thought you were Wilson Boone at one point" "You thought Alex was into Boone the guy who wound up in the hospital for shoving a barbie up his -" "He did that at graduation we thought he wasn't that weird until that of course" She truly looks at Michael now hoping he feels comfortable judging by the way he's pursing his lips he's trying to collect his thoughts. "I just miss him. I was scared I thought if I stayed angry at him maybe it could make the feelings go away. It didn't I was just pushing him away and pretending. And now that I'm not anymore. Everything's just crystal clear. And it just feels like a constant... "Ache. It feels like an ache and you don't know how you can miss a person when they are right next to you but they aren't really with you" They smile at each other. It's nice to find someone who gets it. A beer floats to her as she types and she happily accepts it. She notices Michael floating a root beer to himself. She quirks her eyebrows. "You hear the story about that time Boone ate a Lego in college to see if he could poop it out" "No, but I think I need more beer to hear that story" It was going to be a long evening.

She pays more attention when she sees them together over the years and  notices the love story she's missed. They tease each other mercifully just wanting to challenge each other's wits. When they do stop for breakfast at the Crash down Michael reads the paper scoffing at some article fingers tracing Alex's and Alex scoffs at the poor choice of words for the crossword. At some point, neither one is focusing on the task at hand but their actual hands. Alex likes to shyly hide his smile into the crook of Michael's shoulder which for Michael is an opening to a hug. Alex likes to push the curls out of Michael's eyes when he laughs. They look happy. They look free.

[grump-the-deer]

stuff about HDM ep 4

don’t know about GREAT THINGS but there are some for sure

let’s break it down binch

- first off, IOREK FUCKIN SLAPS. he’s BIG. he’s GNARLY. he’s BIG BEEF MAN with BEAR-MADE ARMOR that has segments that MOVE WITH HIS BODY. it’s PERFECT.

- buuuuuut his voice kinda sucks. too emotional, too high-pitched, too fast, not growly or deep enough at ALL. Ian McKellan was perfect for it but I would’ve taken someone like.......Iofur’s actor. he was stellar. why not him for Iorek??? switch their actors, Iofur is tryin to be a human anyway he can have the weird emotional tones

- similarly, his eyes are very expressive. probably a boon for visual storytelling, but I really think playing up the theme about bears being inhuman is important. Iorek’s eyes are described as beady and black and unfeeling. they’re almost human in this show, as is his voice, and I don’t like it.

- Lee Scoresby...............................................oh man. I have a lot of feelings about him. I’m gonna leave it to the end cause it’s long.

- Trollesund is really awesome - feels very realistic, very grimy, like an oil town would be. the Sysselman as a character is phenomenal. and IOREK STOMPING ON HIM - LEE LIKE “oh hey sysselman what’s up” is GOLD and you can TAKE IT TO THE BANK BOYO

- Lyra and Farder Coram - Farder Coram talking about Serafina - Farder Coram talking about his SSON I LOVE FARDER CORAM he has done a 180 in two episodes and I adore him now. he’s a lot more robust than the original, subtler Coram, but I like him anyway. he’s close enough but has his own thing going on, and it’s a good thing.

- Dr. Lanselius was a boss ass bitch I really liked him

- THEY KEPT THE CLOUD-PINE SCENE YESSSSSS

- but.....there was no pulling scene with Pan and Lyra facing Iorek. that was one of the best exposition and characterization scenes (and foreshadowing) in TGC and I was REALLY hoping for it. instead we’ve just got that half-assed exposition mention about dæmons being far away. fuck the exposition fairy.

- AND they didn’t let Iorek talk about his fucking motivations as a panserbjorn!!! what!!!!! they had Lee do it - WHY??? Iorek starts getting HEATED and DOES IT HIMSELF what the HELL that line about WAR is ICONIC how DARE THEY!!

- the cardinal is really fucking creepy........especially the way he hunches and slinks around...................A+ on that....

- more golden monkey denial, loving it. loving Mrs. Coulter clawing her way to power by any means necessary even though everyone can see she’s burning herself to the ground in the process

- I LOVE that they’re keeping to Iofur and his bears having weird overly-fancy filigree shiny armor. definitely not bear-made and very wrong.

- Fra Pavel has a great casting. and the little interaction with Boreal is very very ominous.

- Lyra. always Lyra. just, amazing. her humor and her spunk is outstanding. demolish Lee Scoresby, demolish Lord Faa, demolish Iorek, demolish Lee Scoresby’s bacon -

- I love this Hester I don’t even care if she’s not my Hester I love her anyway

- on that note, John Faa STILL doesn’t have a dæmon. ANd, I really don’t like his characterization. he’s so fucking stone cold and serious and hard-headed. he isn’t a man of the people like the original John Faa. he doesn’t have an ounce of warmth or passion. I like that he still respects Farder Coram enough to let him veto things but like........where is my father......this guy is a bonehead

- a few more background dæmons and diversity this time around, including Arctic fox Pan - who is ADORABLE and THEMATIC and PERFECT - so that was nice. still not enough but we’re getting there.

- I love love love Kaisa. I love love love his voice and his mannerisms. I hate hate hate that he’s a gyrfalcon now. his voice is not even CLOSE to being sharp enough to be a falcon. he’s a goddamn goose and I will die on this hill I promise you that. fuck your birds of prey spamming.

OKAY TIME TO SHOUT ABOUT LEE SCORESBY:

he’s good. he’s a good character, on his own. I love Lin, of course, I think he loves the role. good comedy with Hester, very passionate duo. funny, likable. a little morally gray. cute.

he’s not the original Lee Scoresby. and I miss that one. this one is a pickpocket, a loudmouth, and cares WAY too passionately about Iorek.

first of all, the original Lee might have been there to help Iorek, might not have. he was around, it was a stop in his search for work. he’s a bit guarded and he wouldn’t divulge that. this one is storming around demanding someone tell him about Iorek and that he’s gonna help him but uh......once he finds him he kind of gives up, like immediately. why is he so devoted to this bear? he saved his life once? seems a bit more than that. I just don’t get it. he’s a friend sure but Lee Scoresby wants RETIREMENT MONEY, first and foremost. not a bear. no jokes intended.

second of all, the Lee Scoresby I fell in love with would never pickpocket, it’s beneath his standards. he is considerably money-grubbing but not to that extent. it’s a cheap trick and can get you in loads of trouble if you’re caught. he’s an honest criminal, okay. he’ll do illegal shit if you hire him for it, but by god he’s going to get hired right and proper.

he’s not a super subtle guy but he’s laid back - he wouldn’t storm into a place and declare his reason for being there, he’d make careful conversation with a local and try to catch wind of what’s going on. if someone crossed a moral boundary THEN he would fight. he’s.......more mature, smarter. he’s always described perfectly as laconic. that’s his central trait. he’s an observant dude. he’ll stroll right into a situation and wisecrack and help the side he thinks is right, IF he thinks it’s worth the trouble. he doesn’t start fights if he can help it. he’s a hare, not a goddamn rhinoceros.

this Scoresby is most certainly not laconic. this is a different character, and while I like him well enough, and I really ADORE his interactions with Lyra for sure, I am sorely disappointed that I don’t get to see the Lee Scoresby I love on screen for this beautiful adaptation.

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO such a wild day

☠️ Bonehead Boon☠️  (2/2) - for Lifeblood Hades Comic Anthology

Zagreus wishes Skelly could leave the courtyard; Chaos ensues. (17 pages)

❗️Leftover sales of the anthology is on March 18, 2022! Link in pinned post❗️

[captainhuggermuggerus]

Medusa of the Deep

This was getting ridiculous.

           There were ten fishing boats in the village, with three to seven people on each. Well, there had been. Now there were only enough people for three of the boats, because the rest were all dead of jellyfish poisoning.

           As to the rest of the men, who were supposed to handle this kind of thing. They had all refused to go back out into open water and deal with whatever was reaching up and killing their own. That left the women.

           They were meeting at the church, supposedly to decide who they were going to make sweaters and socks for, since not everyone could get yarn and winter was coming. However, it was also to discuss the jellyfish problem.

           Meg was the oldest, a short woman whose husband, while he lived, had told her she was never allowed on his boat lest she capsized it. She had gotten her revenge by not letting him in the house until he’d washed off every bit of fish smell.

           The joke was that Meg had no sense of smell.

           Meg was sorting scrap yarn from their indulgent summer projects. “Has anyone actually seen it, though? The jellyfish? Must be massive. And how do they keep catching it?”

           “They’re idiots,” was Suzanne’s comment. Suzanne had gotten married last year and was expecting her first baby, which made her irritable. She loved children but hated being fat. Her husband sometimes slept at the pub because she was more upset as she got bigger.

           Laurie rolled her eyes. She was the village teacher. “We know that. My husband says they keep catching her in the nets, and trying to put her back.”

           “Oh, a her?” Meg asked, putting down the soft yellow yarn. “And how did he know the gender of a jellyfish? They’re blobs!”

           That gave them all pause, and they stopped, looking at each other.

           “Idiots,” Laurie muttered. Although she wasn’t clear as to whom she referred.

           Meg started cackling. “They keep catching the same mermaid!” she chortled.

           “Well, why don’t they stop doing that?” Suzanne grumbled.

           Meg finally stopped laughing. “We need to go talk to her, see what can be done.”

           “Why did they say jellyfish if she’s a mermaid?” Suzanne asked.

           Meg was back to sorting the yarn. “The first ones anyone met were the ones with the long fish-tails, those were mermaids, but no one knew about the other kinds of tails for ages. She’s still a mermaid, she just probably has jellyfish tentacles instead of a tail.”

           “And we will be able to talk to her…why?” Laurie asked. “Since she’s been attacking people?”

           “Well, we aren’t going to drop nets and try to catch her!” Meg was scandalized. “We are going to be civilized about it, and discuss what’s going on, and come up with a solution.”

           They all took a moment with that, realizing that, while they loved their husbands, they could be a bit dumb, and it had gotten several people killed.

           Suzanne sighed. “We’ll have to go out at night.”

           “I’m packing food,” Meg added. “Laurie, can we use your husband’s boat?”

           Laurie shook her head. “Engine’s broke.”

           “Suzanne?”

           “It’s one of the new ones, I have no idea how it runs. What about you, Meg?”

           “I sold Ted’s boat to pay off the house ages ago. I have a rowboat, though.”

           “I’m not rowing anything,” Suzanne was final.

           “I can,” Laurie added.

           “So can I,” Meg decided. “You and I will row. Suzanne will keep things from falling overboard while we do.”

           “Are you sure you should?” Laurie asked, concerned.

           “I’m eighty-two, not dead. We’re bringing sandwiches. And apples.”

           And so it was decided.

.           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .

           Suzanne was not impressed by the rowboat.

           “It’s got seaweed growing on it!”

           “That happens,” Meg agreed. “Hop in and hold the basket so we can push it out.”

           Once they were out on the water, Meg and Laurie rowing-and Meg was trying to get Laurie to understand the actual rhythm-and Suzanne was clinging to the side with one hand, and the basket of food clutched the other.

           They rowed out into the bay, Meg deciding where they should stop.

           “Do you think the mermaid speaks English?” Laurie asked. “Because this could get complicated.”

           “Well,” Meg thought it over. “Usually, they have some idea of local human languages. If not English, maybe she knows some Swedish or Danish, I know a little of those. Anyone else know any other languages?”

           “French,” Laurie offered. She was a teacher, after all, French was a sign of a well-taught teacher, and also a governess, which she had been as well.

           “What about you, Suzanne?”            Suzanne seemed focused on not getting dumped overboard, even thought hey were barely tilting. “Gaelic.”

           “Seriously?” Laurie was incredulous. “I didn’t think anyone knew that anymore!”

           “Me either. Where did you learn?” Meg added.

           “My great-grandmother, when I was little. Why are you pitching this thing every way imaginable?” she added, strident.

           They were barely moving. “Sorry, dear,” Meg offered. “We’ll be more careful.”

           Having reached the middle of the bay, they stopped rowing, and Meg lit the other lanterns they had brought, so they were in a blaze of light.

           “Now what?” Laurie asked.

           “Now,” Meg told them. “Now, we wait. Who’s hungry?”

           They were happily into the sandwiches when the water suddenly bubbled up.

           Meg put her sandwich down. “Oh, lovely, that must be her. Suzanne, lean to the port side, would you? Thank you. dear.”

           The water bubbled up and the surface tension broke, revealing a dark head and two dark eyes, narrowed.

           “Good evening,” Meg greeted her. “Would you like a sandwich?”

           Eyes stayed narrowed.

           “We wanted to talk to you, about what’s been going on in the bay, but like civilized people, over food,” Meg continued, fishing out another sandwich. “Do you like apples? I’m Meg, these are Laurie and Suzanne.”

           Still nothing, but Meg offered her the sandwich anyway. Suzanne sighed deeply.

           “We don’t have nets or anything boneheaded like that,” she offered. “We’re in a rowboat, for heaven’s sake.”

           The mermaid raised one brow at that, a brow that didn’t have hair but the faintest suggestion of scales. Then, carefully, she extended one arm, and took the sandwich, raising her body halfway out of the water. To brace herself, she exposed a few tentacles, making sure to keep them outside the rowboat.

           She took a bite of the sandwich. Meg had made egg salad sandwiches for all of them except Suzanne, who hated egg at the moment. She had gotten chicken salad.

           “Thank you,” The mermaid’s voice was a deep rumble. “I’m Anya.”

           “A pleasure to meet you!” Meg agreed.

           Anya took a bite of the sandwich, and her eyes lit up. “This is good!”

           “Egg salad,” Laurie offered. “Meg makes the best egg salad sandwiches.”

           After they ate, Meg gathered the napkins up. “Now, we need to talk about the idiot men and what’s been going on out here. We’ve heard everything they’ve said-what about you? What’s been going on?”

           Anya leaned on the rowboat, her tentacles curling underneath and up the other side so the little boat wouldn’t capsize. “I’m not sure. I got caught in a net, and they pulled me out, usually people apologize and let you go, but they seemed to think they could give me away? I hit someone getting off the ship. It was hard-tentacles don’t work too well out of water.”

           Suzanne shook her head. “Idiots. Our husbands are idiots.”

           “We knew that, though,” Laurie told her.

           “And I thought that would be the end of it, since I hit someone with my tentacles, and I know they’re poisonous, and I went further offshore, so I wouldn’t interfere with their fishing. And they kept coming back, and I started to use my tentacles to defend myself, and I’m afraid people got hurt.”

           “People got killed,” Suzanne offered.

           Anya slunk down in the water. “I grew up in these waters. They’re my home, too.”

           Meg reached over and patted her hand. “There, now, dear. We aren’t trying to make you leave. We need to provide a solution, that’s all. And your family was probably here alongside ours for years, and no one ever noticed the other. So, how did that work?”

           “We had an agreement. We would drive the fish upwards, to the nets, and in return we would not be caught in them.”

           “That sounds great,” Laurie commented. “We’ve had such trouble getting in good catches for a while now.”

           Anya nodded. “And I don’t mind! I only eat the little fish, or the eggs. But I don’t want to be carted off somewhere.”

           Meg was thinking hard. “We need to talk to the actual fishermen, but since they’ve been idiots and half of them are dead, they will appreciate the help. Even if we have to smack them with spoons. Can we meet back here in two nights?”

           “Sure. Can you bring another sandwich?”

           Meg patted her hand. “Of course, dear.”

           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .

           It took rather a lot of persuasion on Laurie and Suzanne’s part to get the men tot listen, and finally Meg was so irritated that she came into the church where they were meeting, threw a basket of partially thawed fish guts on the floor with a bang, and glared at all of them.

           “You’re idiots,” she informed the now-silent church.

           “Look, there are places down south that---”            “Young man,” Meg narrowed her eyes. “Before Laurie came back with her fancy degree to teach-I love you, Laurie, you are a boon to this town, this has nothing to do with you at all-I was the teacher here. I took you outside and tanned your backside myself when I found out you were declawing all the cats based on one book that you should never have gotten. You are not allowed to make decisions like that. You have no respect for life. Anya-that’s her name-is a mermaid. She’s from here, just like we are. Her family used to drive the fish up for us, back when this town actually had money. She’s come back. If we work with her instead of acting like idiots, we can start to have something again.”

           He opened his mouth, bright red, and then closed it. He really wished Meg would forget the declawing thing.

           “So, she wants to not be caught in the nets. I think we can all agree that, since she will help-driving the schools of fish to the nets-we can all do that? This is a very simple equation, you know.”

           The men looked at each other, somewhat shamefaced.

           Laurie and Suzanne high-fived, knowing Meg had made the point for them.

           “Good,” Meg announced. “We’ll go tell her. Don’t a single one of you make us liars.”

           That last, she added with a finger-shaking.

           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .           .          

           Over the next three months, the town had greater catches of fish than in the previous ten years. They were able to rebuild the library and fix up the school.

           Meg also made sure they rebuilt the promontory walk over the deep part of the inlet. That was where, when she was a girl, the mermaids would come up to the surface, and people could talk to their aquatic counterparts. For a while, it was simply her and Anya. Then other people started coming.

           And other mermaids.

           When Meg saw ten of them, some medusas like Anya, others with fish tails, or wrapped in kelp, talking to the children that Laurie had brought down for the day, she knew the town was going to be all right.

If you like this, consider visiting my Patreon (Link in blog since I haven’t worked out how to add a link at the end of a post, sorry)

[chikkachu]

Supergirl AU - NaLu ficlet

A/N: Your requested prompt is finished @s-a-r-a-r-a , I hope you like it. It’s angst with a dash of fluff - my favourite combo. Sorry for any mistakes, I’ll check it thoroughly later. Superhero AU. To clarify it’s based on the TV show. 

“Natsu, I said stop!”

Grabbing onto his wrist and jerking her body weight backwards to stop his movement, the argument between them wasn’t going to be solved by running away.

“Why are you so mad?” Natsu swivelled his body, the hand gripping onto on his wrist causing her stumble. Standing close enough their noses were touching, Lucy noticed the deep shades of green that made his eyes.

“You lied to me,” she said. Palms sweating and her unoccupied hand clenching into a fist. She hated confrontation, especially with the man in front of her.

“I don’t lie.”  Cheek twitching and crossing his arms, her hand dislodged from his person.

Refusing to allow him to retreat, as he so often did when they discussed important matters, she placed her hand on his forearm. Lucy noticed him peeking at her from the corner of his eye.

“Omission is the same thing.” She said, her tone gentle to coax him from his sour mood.

“No, it’s my business.” Ouch. Like a cornered animal, lashing out with on point barbs, he knew would hurt was a defence mechanism she anticipated. It didn't lessen the sting.

“Not when it puts the public in danger!” Lucy could see him clearly in her mind’s eye, beautiful sunset red scales, and a spectacular wingspan double the length of his body. In her surprise, she found herself wondering how he managed to hold them up, then remembering the muscle she likened to woven steel. From her spot, Lucy could see his skin ripple, propelling himself upwards in a vertical take-off.

Wind blowing Sakura locks, he arched his back, wings snapping out to enable a smooth glide as he breathed molten fire towards the enemy. Thankfully the streets had been evacuated, the heat liquidising metals and turning stone to magma. In front, car roofs bubbled before collapsing inward, traffic lights crashing to the ground as the brackets succumbed to the sea of red scorching the air.

“Oh?” He said, stepping into her space, “Am I ruffian now Lucy? Am I a beast to you?”

Green eyes stared to the side of her face, refusing to look her in the eye. Dimples formed in his cheek, jaw clamping down in response to his thoughts. Race had always a touchy subject for Natsu, a Draco. A race known to be fierce warriors, their society was brutal, winner takes all and the weak serve as slaves to the strong. Or at least that’s what she had been taught by her tutors on Celestia. It provided a rocky foundation for the start of their relationship.

“No.” Lucy rasped, blood pounding in her ears, chewing her lip.

“You don’t even believe that.” He said, voice tight and clipped. Lucy knew he was retreating into a safe-space. The people around Natsu assumed he was loud and obnoxious all the time, quick to make his feelings known. Lucy knew this to be a truth, she also knew when a matter bothered him on a deeper level. He was quiet. Natsu avoided “talking feelings” with a skill she wished he’d use in diplomatic situations, instead of pouring fuel on the fire.

“I do,” Cupping his jaw, she pulled his eyes to meet hers. He wasn’t hiding anymore. “That’s not why I’m upset.”

“I’m finding that hard to believe after our first meeting.” Natsu shifting his weight mumbled into his scarf. She took that on the chin, it certainly wasn’t a Mills and Boon eyes meeting across the room moment. Old prejudices surfacing as two people from feuding races eyed each other up. Hostile intentions clear, Makarov wisely paired them together. Natsu served as her guide and partner, with the threat of punishment if he didn’t treat their recruit with due professionalism.

“That was then, this is now.”  Her upbringing was that an upper-class girl, her head pumped full of the prejudices writhe within the aristocracy.

“I thought you were different.” Bitter words hung in the heavy silence between them. Close to tears, her hands slipped from his face to hit his chest.

“I’m supposed to know you better than anyone else!” A warm grip on her wrists halting her movement. Giving in, her fist clenched onto his shirt, tearing the tight nylon material. Lucy forced herself closer to the heat of his body. Even amidst an argument, she found his energy comforting.

“What?”

“I told you everything about me, you know me better than I know myself.” Warts and all. She didn’t hold back when it came to Natsu. He didn’t break her walls, he burned them to cinders. All her secrets, her weaknesses, laid bare at his feet.  

“Then I find out that you are royalty, through necessity rather than trust.” Lucy knew enough about Draconia to know the red scales adorning his body signified the heir of the fire king, Igneel.

“It hurts Natsu. You mean the world to me and I trust you with my life, but you don’t trust me with yours.” He had saved her once again, knew that her elemental transformations had a time limit. Slipping through solid structures the enemy proved elusive, taking her to limit of her earthen queen form, Virgo. Power fading, serrated claws dove for her throat before flames engulfed him.  

“You said,” He began, glaring past her head.  

“I know what I said Natsu!” Frustration tugged at her heart, hands weaving into his hair she dragged him down. Seeing green eyes clouded by his boneheaded stubborn behaviour, it sparked her own anger, “that was before us…”  

Silky stands bunching between her fingers, Lucy pushed her lips to his. Feeling his body tense, she kissed along his top lip, feeling the cracked texture. He was never one to keep up with skin care like her. It wasn’t a deterrent. The pad of his thumb caressed her chin, pressing down encouraging a deeper kiss. Tongues meeting before their lips moulded together, Lucy shivered as they rolled. Fingers stroking her cheek coaxed her mind into a hazy state, thoughts of his musky forest scent and low grunts making her crave touch.

“Lucy…” Natsu rumbled into her mouth, his body weight pressing into her torso. His mouth quirked upwards as he pulled away, his lips brushing her cheek.

“Why are you holding my ears?” He chuckled, bumping their noses. Jumping back, rose blossoming across her porcelain skin as she realised her hold on him. She hadn’t been paying attention to what her hands had been doing during their kiss.

“Because you’re a butthead who runs away!” Lucy shot back, pink eyebrows shot up at the outburst.

“Butthead?” She had been spending way too much time around Natsu and Gray, childish insults now flowing off her tongue without thought. Natsu looking incredulous at her choice of language left his mouth hanging open.

“Yes, I think it’s an apt description.” Considering his words earlier, Lucy dared him to challenge her.

“Yeah, you’re right.” To her surprise Natsu didn’t put up a fight, choosing instead to cradle the back of her head, tucking her face into his sternum. As hugs go it was awkward, she didn’t mind. Her choice involved tracing her hand down his arm, hairs tickling her fingertips on her way down.  

“This is our problem, we don’t communicate the important things” There was a time and a place for fun, serious conversations were a necessity. Prodding the warm flesh of his palm, a smile playing on her lips as he straightened his hand out, tangling their fingers in the process.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

[theliterateape]

'90s Forever

By Erik Lewin

I had to spend a summer up at the University of Buffalo in the late ’90s. There was an awful course in statistics that stood between me and a Bachelor of Arts degree in English. Incredibly, an actual law school (not an online one with certificate) had accepted me for fall admission, but I couldn’t go without passing this class. Fortunately, I had a few college buddies up there, too, for their own reasons. My friend, Sean, was there with his girlfriend, Zara, and along with my girlfriend at the time, Janine, we all hung out quite a bit.

I was living in this little complex called Caesar’s Court, that rested  on the outskirts of an unsafe neighborhood. There was a rash of criminal activity where off-campus students lived. It just wouldn’t be a complete college education without a brush with your own mortality; the year prior my friends and I got robbed at gunpoint in broad daylight in our parked car before buying our books for the semester. These two twelve-year–old hoods looked more like Kris Kross than crooks, but they stuck a gun in our car, and we handed over our book money.

In a way, they did me a favor; I was only going to waste all that perfectly good cash on course books I’d never open anyway. Who knows, maybe they took it to the bookstore themselves to load up on volumes of sociology and geology. It took the cops forever to make it to the scene, the assailants long gone on dirt bikes. I don’t think they were ever found. The upshot was the weed dealer we relied on was never busted either.         

A local newspaper actually sent a reporter to interview my friend and I as the freshest victims of this large-scale collegiate crime wave,  bribing us into the meeting with a free breakfast. When the story came out in the paper, as I recall, it painted us like two complete morons, too busy lighting cigarettes to disarm a couple misguided pre-teens.

So the general area was shady and dangerous, even in summer, and Caesar’s Court was scarcely a respite; it’s faux charm, with the hint of medieval flair, didn’t exactly scare away any fringe elements. Perhaps the difference was some tenants were rather likable criminals who made you feel like part of the team.

My neighbor was this forty-ish man named Randy. He was stringy but cut and strong with dark eyes set tight. He did, however, favor white tube socks pulled up to his shins, sandals, baggy shorts, and a permanently stained wife beater undershirt. He’d have friends over on a Tuesday at noon, pounding bottles of Boone’s wine, passing blunts, and bumping dirty south hip-hop through giant speakers.

For whatever reason, Randy took a shine to me. He’d be like, “Yeah boy, you dangerous,” as he fed me the Boone’s and switched up tracks in his empty living room. I loved him though, he was very gentle for a ruffian, and I was touched that he took me under his wing. He had bestowed his beaded necklace on me, and one afternoon when Sean picked me up for class, I looked like Mr. Wendell from the Arrested Development video, sporting the necklace and matching hat.

Randy would, however, hit me up for money and rides. How he could afford a unit at Caeser’s, even with Buffalo prices in the ’90s, was something of a mystery, though of course he had no furniture or visible belongings. Sean joked with me that Randy told him if he would take him to the store, he’d hook Sean up with a pair of sweet titties to squeeze at this late-night club he always talked about. Sean was dubious, but I assured him Randy could make good on his promise, as he’d already scrounged six-fifty in change from my car earlier that day.       

That was the thing; whenever I took Randy anywhere, he’d clean my car of any loose currency, then direct me to some random, off-site location, where one person would be waiting in the shadows. Evidently, I was an accomplice to an untold number of transactions, though I fancied myself the strong link in the conspiracy, knowing I’d never crack under questioning. I guess I just wanted to be helpful, though in retrospect, I’m not sure his mentorship was altogether selfless.

He had bestowed his beaded necklace on me, and one afternoon when Sean picked me up for class, I looked like Mr. Wendell from the Arrested Development video.

My girlfriend, Janine, had a brand new sand-colored Saturn, a car that came with a bow-tie wrapped on top, and was easily the thrill of her life. One day she pulled up to my place with a flat tire, and I figured I could knock out two birds. I offered Randy the job, to which he eagerly agreed with an assurance of the highest quality work, and I enthusiastically presented the opportunity to Janine. She gave in because it’d be fast and just a few bucks, and moments later, Randy and three of his buddies set to dismantling Janine’s beauty. It didn’t turn out quite as I’d hoped. They had the whole car bouncing and suspension squeaking, as the metal tools clanged against the tire’s nuts. Janine and I watched this crackhead pit crew turn a simple tire change into a total car wreck.  Her shrieks of horror still haunt me.  

My other neighbor was a lovely sixty-ish African-American woman named Tonya. I’d sit on the berber rug in her living room while she regaled me with tales of her young life as a heroin addicted disco queen. She wore large ladies’ reading glasses and had soft, caring eyes. She’d mellowed in her old age and just enjoyed sharing her story and cooking delicious soul dishes, while we listened to Smokey Robinson records.  

Sean was a thoughtful and funny fellow with whom I had lots in common. We were both boneheaded victims in the neighborhood, of sorts, though his was an inside job. The previous semester, his house had literally gone up in flames; his roommate was stoned and barbequing, a smashing combination, and naturally, he forgot he was barbequing.

Sean’s lovely girlfriend, Zara, was a tolerant person, especially since she had to escape a house as it burnt down. Sean and the boys were standing on their lawn in the early morning light, in robes, smoking butts and giving their bewildered remarks to live news cameras. In any event, tragic-comedy aside, Sean and I loved to smoke blunts and bump Biggie Smalls and ’90s hip-hop.

We also got into working out that summer, exploring creatine powder as our stimulant of choice for the gym. We’d get a jar at a vitamin store, casually pull into a Burger King parking lot and take turns scooping the powder into our mouths. It’s effect was like a triple espresso jolt; we still made it to the weight room, but they were plastering the walls, so on top of spooning creatine, we were also huffing paint. As a result, we put up too much weight for our little bodies, but in the end, I can’t disparage our unorthodox methods. I think we wound up in much better shape, and it certainly made exercise a hell of a lot more fun.

The problem was I needed to pass this stupid statistics course, the reason I was there in the first place, and there was no way that was going to happen. The other math course I needed to pass, some trig thing or other the year prior, was equally a disaster; I had a zero in the course strictly speaking, but convinced the poor geriatric teacher that I was experiencing a semester long panic attack. It was not entirely untrue, though I’m not proud of it, and he was merciful and let me squeak through.  

Sean and the other guys tried to help me with statistics, but it was utterly hopeless. It was an alien language, out of Star Trek; I couldn’t grasp it with Spock’s help. To make matters worse, the teacher was a wacky lady who spent half of each class trashing this “jerk” she dated who had ruined her life, so without taking her medication, she was tough to bear.

But I was desperate, so I decided to try my hand at pre-law—I would attempt to negotiate with the teacher, whereby she would agree to hand me a glittering D minus, in exchange for, literally nothing. That’s all I had to offer. I was madly convinced she could be talked into it, purely out of the goodness of her heart. I figured it could be like an act of charity, like feeding the homeless. 

She resolutely refused. I think it was partly on account of her man-hater state of mind, but I wasn’t going to go out with her, so I had very little leverage to work with. I went to the final exam like a convicted man, ready for the hangman’s noose, and the resignation that my summer escorting Randy around town had been for naught. In my mind I was already constructing a letter of apology to my law school, expecting to get the ax, and spitballing the plan B of a fine Caribbean legal education.

By some miracle, when the grades came out, some poor shmuck actually managed a lower score than me, which meant he must have forgotten his own name, and due to the curve, I was in fact a recipient of my treasured D minus. I jumped for joy! I was going to graduate!

I smoked a blunt with Randy to celebrate, his gigantic speakers bumping, and I’m still thankful to his degenerate pit crew who finally managed to fix Janine’s flat, albeit with the wrong tire. But that’s just details. In the end, we all came out winners.

[socialistperpective]

Conspiracy theory lunatics make their way to power

Now that it’s in the open that the United States is an oligarchy with the 1 percent ruling the day it should be known Far-right conspiracies involving secret societies were never real. This reality culminated in the election of a corrupt, oligarch president. It should be obvious to most of us the ones pulling the strings behind the curtains are those who have money to buy politicians and bias policy in their favor. But alas, there apparently is still mounting evidence the New World Order is real and a shady group of secret societies rules everything. It even runs into pop culture. Celebrities like Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj and Rihanna are members of the Illuminati and use Satanic symbols to subtly convey their true intentions: to turn the world into the Devil’s playpen and destroy America with a one world government. Katy Perry will make appearances as a witch and Lana Del Rey will hex Donald Trump using witchcraft. And pedophile rings are involved somewhere, as always. The birth of the AltRight, or neo-Nazism, into mainstream culture has given these conspiracy theories legitimate attention. The White House will cite Infowars in a press release; Donald Trump will call Alex Jones frequently; someone will show up to a pizza parlor in Washington, D.C. with a loaded weapon suspecting the site of being home to a pedophile ring, a conspiracy which helped bring down Hillary Clinton. The ridiculousness is astounding and would be funny if it weren’t so serious.

Maybe once I did believe in New World Order conspiracy theories – the U.N. was going to take over the United States; the government was behind 9/11; climate change was a hoax to introduce environmental regulations to weaken the U.S; there was a collection of secret societies revolving around the Rothschilds and Bilderbergs plotting to take over the world. The list goes on. Oh yeah, I can’t forget about the shapeshifting lizard aliens who were in control of it all. These shapeshifters were in disguise as the elites, an alien race sent here to enslave mankind. If it sounds like paranoid schizophrenia that’s because it is. I believed in all that crap when I was in high school. High school. There are now grown adults who listen to Alex Jones, Paul Joseph Watson, and now Mike Cernovich as if they are prophets from the Bible. It’s a conspiracy industry. Members of the audience will go to town on the false information as if it’s fact. A recent trend are the millions of illegals voting for Hillary Clinton, giving her the popular vote. No evidence whatsoever, but these conspiracy theorists won’t let up and have the backing of a president who will repeat this information to the mainstream press.

To highlight the dangers of these conspiracy theorists going mainstream was President Trump pulling the United States out of the Paris Accord. He cited climate change as a hoax, coming directly from the mouth of Alex Jones. Trump says the United States is intentionally being treated unfairly in the deal and the agreement is meant to weaken our position on trade and destroy the fossil fuel industry (please do!). Switching to renewable energy would be the biggest boon to our economy and give us millions of jobs. A Green New Deal would better our society and save the planet. But Donald Trump used the support of his AltRight companions to make himself seem as though he has popularity for making that drastic, wrongheaded decision. And like the boneheaded chorus his lunatic conspiracy theorist fans are, they praised the decision, saying pulling out of the Paris Accord was right for America.

Has it never occurred to them Donald Trump is an elite? The man is a multi-billionaire, it’s safe to assume he doesn’t have our best interests at heart. In addition to coming from the top 1 percent, Donald Trump is birthed from the celebrity culture they claim to despise. Maybe it’s “you must work within the system to change it” nonsense or perhaps they wish to be Daddy Trump -- a famous con artist who exuberates pseudo-masculinity in a way the mainstream media manages to buy into, that even conspiracy-theorist lunatics buy into. I can’t help but think they are the only ones who still fall for Donald Trump. Their top ally, neo-Nazi Stephen Bannon is Trump’s right-hand man and he’ll keep tabs on Daddy Trump. If that doesn’t work out they can always blame the evil Jew Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka, who recently converted to Judaism, for the president’s mishaps. Perhaps they are the ones vowing for control of the White House and any policy mistakes that detract from Daddy’s promises are on them.

Sorry for that weird moment, but now that the conspiracy-theory industry and “AltRight” have gone into the mainstream it’s time for us to take them seriously and give real analysis to their childish behavior. We can no longer say the country is undoubtedly making social progress when this is the group who came to power with Trump.

[effallya]

☠️ Bonehead Boon☠️  (2/2) - for Lifeblood Hades Comic Anthology

Zagreus wishes Skelly could leave the courtyard; Chaos ensues. (17 pages)

❗️Leftover sales of the anthology is on March 18, 2022! Link in pinned post❗️

[effallya]

☠️ Bonehead Boon☠️  (1/2) - for Lifeblood Hades Comic Anthology

Zagreus wishes Skelly could leave the courtyard; Chaos ensues. (17 pages)

❗️Leftover sales of the anthology is on March 18, 2022! Link in pinned post❗️