#boiled even
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jeonseoguu · 5 months ago
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cooked beyond redemption
COMMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN !!! check my pinned post for more details ⭐️
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aueua · 1 year ago
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people with siblings: how do you feel about them?
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vvanillavveins · 2 months ago
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Is she Lucy Westenra, or is she just a vessel for the writer's barely disguised fantasy of a women being punished for her promiscuity? Is she really"Bram Stoker's" Lucy Westenra: a naive, innocent 19 year old, with a cheery personality and a bright future ahead of her? Or has the writer instead just slapped her name on an OC that behaves nothing like her, and- with none of the grace or decorum that Lucy's tragically short story deserves- sexualized her slow and agonising death as much as possible, whilst very unsubtly doing their best to blame her for being murdered, so that we won't object to her being killed again later in an even more gruesome and sexual manner?
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beeturtlle · 9 months ago
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Maizula nation please where r u
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kenneth-black · 3 months ago
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“he’s so insane for this” and it’s just a man looking at the love of his life 🤭
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
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Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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darkmuffinstudios · 4 months ago
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HAD THE MOST INSANE DREAM JUST NOW AND THESE TWO WERE IN IT AND I WAS JUST LIKE JSVFIJVFSJIVFSIKVSFIKSFV STEALING YOU GUYS
LIKE I LITERSLLY ROLLED OUT OF BED AND GRABBED MY TABLET AND SCRIBBLED THESE GUYS BEFORE I FORGOT
SO SO SO! THE IDEA IS THAT SOMETHING SOMETHING WHEN PPL DIE, THEY GET THESE HALOS ON THEIR HEADS WHICH TIE THEM TO THE LIVING WORLD AS A SORT OF LIKE “THEY CANT MOVE ON” SORT OF THING
AND WHEN KILLER GETS KILLED, HE HAS SO MANY DIFFERENT REGRETS AND SO MANY DIFFERENT WANTS THAT HIS SOUL ESSENTIALLY SPLITS INTO TWO—. UT THEYRE STILL VERY MUCH CONNECTED? LIKE THEY ARE DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HIM BUT NEITHER CAN MOVE ON UNTIL THE OTHER IS SATIATED AND EISJCNDJSKCSKCMDLD
GOD THESE TWO ARE SO BADASS DISJCJCJC MY OWN BRAINROT IS GOING NUTS
MAYBE MORE TO COME SOON OK BYEEEEE
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rosarrie · 1 year ago
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rendevok · 1 year ago
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step into the light
what do you see?
my sun,
my stars
shining on me
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vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago
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huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.
(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)
it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.
love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)
such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?
one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.
follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.
through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.
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mirrorofliterature · 27 days ago
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'obi-wan is such a poor little tragic meow meow'
me, vibrating: obi-wan dug his own grave and he KNOWS it, stop erasing obi-wan's explicit narrative role in creating darth vader. he knows he fucked up when raising anakin, he did fuck up when raising anakin, he DID fail anakin. it's a pretty explicit part of the PT and OT.
them: obi-wan never did anything wrong and anakin, the child, was simply too difficult for obi-wan, the grown ass adult. everything is anakin's fault and obi-wan suffers the most out of every star wars character
me: *throws up my hands in the air* look at what you did to the perfectly flawed complex failed mentor figure. you woobified him into a 2D cariacature, look OSP agrees with me: 'great character, not so great mentor'
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moriaarts · 5 months ago
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An older piece where a pair of bounty hunters get employed to transport Boil and Wooley to Ryloth post orders 66!au style. But turns out the guys they hired? Are Obi-wan and Cody. And the guy that hired them? Is crys
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umblrspectrum · 7 months ago
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hi im back
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hotdrinks · 7 months ago
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U know I just think if you have a favorite character you also have to love the worst things about them bc it's integral to everything they do and makes the good they do more meaningful and makes them so sexy and cool
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hyperfocusthusly · 3 months ago
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Tommy Kinard took his cursed ™️ little boyfriend home, tucked him up in bed, told him everything will be okay, woke up in the morning hoping for better times, little boyfriend is covered in boils and pouting
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hansuart · 26 days ago
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Prime Assets cooking show!
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