#bodyguard!ren

[aratribow]

Jingnyan, aka the husband-replacement cat that renheng adopted

Sesame cake and rice dumpling are respectively called renyan and hengnyan btw and this shit has a whole ass au behind it (with a Mafia origin but that's not important)

I STAN jingnyan being the MOST affectionate nyan ever

Ps: this is renheng getting all the cuddles b4 the renheng-nyan invasion..which...doesn't bode very well for them

[hermitcraftx]

The problem with a lot of traffic life interpretations in my opinion is they don't understand character foils or don't employ them in their writing. Grian-Martyn and Scar-Ren are genuinely pretty good character foils for a series that is not really scripted or planned out like a book is. I could go on and on about how they parallel each other and the similarities between them. Even the smaller details between the four usually match up

leaving the rant in the tags so I don't have a huge block of text again ueueue

[svnnnne]

putting on my lipgloss

i saw you stare from my peripheral

🌹 💋

[anshares]

"Dan Heng trails off. Caelus’s text message rings in his head, read in Caelus’s goading voice.

YOUR BODYGUARD IS JACKED. WHEN HE SHOVED ME. ALL THOSE MUSCLES. HIS ARM?? DUDE THERE’S ROCKS UNDERNEATH THAT SLEEVE. "

- royal pain in the ass ch 3 by shatteredstars (ao3)

Link of the amazing fic in replies because we know how tumblr is with links. Its a Modern Royalty/Prince and Bodyguard AU you should give it a try!!!

[chromisomi]

no proof, one touch | NEW reylo fic

A sacrifice for the greater good. One life for the well-being of all. All Reyana Palpatine needed to do to fulfill her purpose was die.

So, why did the council appoint her a guard?

NEW reylo fic on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55202233

[generalkenobee]

Ok so you guys actually need to request because I don't have any ideas on what to write so

[ashiyn]

ren: "yo shadowlady are you okay? i see you fighting over here are you alright?" lizzie: "oh yeah that was just a skeleton, don't worry" ren: "okay. i can defend. i have axe. and skills." *nods* lizzie: "...okay. ..im listening" ren: "what's going on? what needs to die? are you good? you good?" lizzie: "uhm. yeah im good,, are you okay..?"

stop im so obsessed with this interaction. ren is literally running around like a lost puppy searching for her approval as he very pathetically swings his axe around with no mobs to kill and lizzie is just watching in confusion, concerned for his sanity

[shortfeather]

still can't write bc wrists still hurt but what i CAN do is daydream an entire star system's relationship to ritual combat and fighting prowess that will be relevant to only two people in hermnautica

[tcmpestes]

LORE: THE FIGHTER.

once upon a time, tucked in a corner of the world, astenade was a vibrant and prosperous place. the ruling family, blessed be their line, was blessed with two children -- a prince and a princess. two more heirs to continue the legacy of the storm lord's gift. the people mused about when the prince would become king, how wonderful his twenty-first birthday would be, when he would be introduced into society with a show of magic. just as his mother had done, and her mother before her.

the date came and went, resulting in a rather anti-climactic ball. the angemonts were silent about this in the years to come. five years later, at yet another 21st birthday, the princess was announced to be the new heir -- accompanying an impressive display of ward-breaking magics. it was enough to delight the people once more, and bring forth different soft-spoken rumors. did the gift move from mother to daughter? did it skip a child?

amidst the gossip, the prince was quietly phased out of the private eye. he took up sword fighting -- specifically, dual sword fighting. eventually he was assigned to watch over his sister, to make himself useful. ( an irritating task, but one he'd do diligently nonetheless. ) no one thought much of him when he accompanied her.

in the quiet moments, though, one could see the glimmer of the weave about him when he hummed....

[drzibs]

@jellieland he is like the puppy that was raised in a household of cats, they all just think hes a Really Big Cat

my take on the life series’ smp members! done in a catified style, of course ^^

credit to @xmaruu11 for the base design!

[hypnos-p3au-inquiry]

Morgana walks back in and goes back to texting Tiefsee.

Morgana: “ So… where do you want to meet up?”

Tiefsee: “ At Leblanc if you don’t mind of course…”

Morgana: “ Sure!” Tiefsee: “ Before we end this conversation I do get to step on you whenever I want right?”

Morgana: * blushes sure!

They hang up as Morgana starts to get dressed in a black tuxedo with a light cyan blue tie as he walks into the living room to show off.

Hamiko: Mona, do you Really want to get Date wear tips for The Drag Queens?

Mint & Ryoji: but we look great when dressed up and have great Make-up skills🥺🥺

Akiren, who’s here to Pick Mona up: I third that thought.

Goro, whos done with his Boss’s Sht: No, you And those 2 will just make him look like that kid Honey bo boo.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Ex-husband!König having shared custody over his child(ren) with reader. Him turning them into your mini bodyguards whenever you try bringing a new man home, because no one compares to their actual father!

Konig actually being a decent father if only to use your child to spy on you. Come on, you really thought that your little stunt would go unnoticed? Your ex-husband might not be the best parent out there, but his savings accounts and property are more than enough to sway the court into giving you shared custody - almost 50/50 if it weren't for his contracts. He can basically pick your kids up whenever you're not completely opposed to it...and you can't really deny them a father. It's not their fault he is an obsessive asshole who was seriously considering putting your children into online classes because he didn't want their dearest mommy to go out too much. You love Konig, this is the problem. He loves you three times more, and he loves your children - but his love is the main problem here. You want it, yes, somehow, but you don't want to spend the rest of your life explaining to your kids that mommy and daddy love each other, but if they ever find themselves in a similiar romantic situation, they'd need to call the police. Konig, however, makes loving him more and more difficult day after day. First, it was little meetings he'd establish - you somehow always end up in his bed, forgetting about new dumb boyfriend you tried to have, while your ex is too busy with his face buried in your cunt. You can't moan because the kids had just fell asleep. You try your best to look composed after, but your heart breaks every time you see hope in their eyes. Mommy and daddy are back together, or so it seems. And, well, your children are wonderful. They are chaotic, like all kids are, but they were never...difficult. Until now, apparently - they are good in daycare, they have friends and silly pets, they are by all means functional members of society...yet, every time you bring a new guy home, they become the most hateful, feral little gremlins. You have to drop them off to their father's place, and then Konig would ask why you're in such a rush, then you would get second thoughts about the date, then he would find his way to your lips and now you have your kids watching cartoons while their father is fucking you in the bedroom. Just like before... Somehow, you yourself started to believe that divorce was just a hysterical stunt and everyone, including your toddlers, knew you'd be back together. You just feel dumb being the last one to acknowledge this.

[tumblerosestudios]

I love Soup Group, because a cursory glance would make people think Gem Holds the braincell, she doesn't not, Impulse used to hold it but he gave it to Bdubs for an gift which left the Soup Group braincelless but Bdubs eventually traded it to Etho for a Saddle who traded it to Cleo in exchange for a bodyguard, Cleo then threw it at Jevin in an attempt on his life, he then traded it to Wels for a Snickers bar who eventually gave it to X who handed it to Doc for safekeeping who gave it to Ren who kept it until Scar stole it and traded it to Grian for shenanigans, Grian eventually gave it to Mumbo as a welcome home gift and Gem bullied Mumbo into getting it back. Everyone is about 60% sure Tango had the braincell at one time but no one can track where.

Pearl says she had it once but never said anything so who can tell.

[cjskribblez]

>Inverse Theory<

The theory that the entire life series is being viewed in reverse.

The games end when Grian finally wins that which he created in 3rd Life, freeing the players.

Ok. So hear me out. There is alot of it that doesn't make sense, mostly character wise, but let's put all of that to the side for one moment to entertain this.

-Cleo and Etho have a divorce arc in limited life. Funny, but they barely interacted in double life. Now, at the time of this writing, they have a wonderful duo going on in secret life.... hmm. Interesting

-Martyn has said his canon reasoning behind Lizzie and Mumbo not being in double life was because the previous season was too traumatic for them and they needed more time to recover. If we apply this logic going from Last life to 3rd, the logic still applies.

-This also would mean Skizz wasn't in double because limited life was painful for him... yeah. Ouch.

-Now I haven't seen Lizzie's last life pov all the way through, but she was a fairy queen, correct? And Ren was her bodyguard. Her second in command. I like the idea of Ren becoming a king in 3rd because of that.

-This also makes Pearl's descent into madness in double life a bit sadder, but with a happy ending of her and Scott teaming next season (last life)

-Bdubs kills Impulse the one time he forgets to give him a clock.... oof

-There is also very funny things with this theory, like Grian throwing an axe into Scar's back and then waking up as his soulmate. (Which would also explain why he didn't want to team with him in last life)

Ok that's all in my brain rn, don't take this too seriously as it's not a theory I think is canon or should be, but its a fun idea to spin around I think. Feel free to add stuff !

[chromisomi]

no proof, one touch | ch 2 is up!

“You haven’t eaten all day.” 

The sun had lowered further past the base’s walls when Rey opened her eyes. Somewhere near them, pigs squealed and snorted, snorkeling in their bowls of food. 

They’d finally made it to Stannis’ base, the land’s farming grounds. It was where all the animals were herded to when Palpatine’s rule spread and the beginnings of a shadow-crawled and separated land came about. 

She sat up from her sack and found Kylo frowning at her. To his left lay his helmet.

read no proof, one touch here!

[ficretus]

*in Vacuo cafeteria*

Weiss: I feel like we are never gonna live up to our ancestors.

Ruby: What do you mean?

Weiss: I mean, look at us and look at them. Your mother was legendary huntress, Blake's parents were pioneers of Faunus Rights Movement, my grandfather founded SDC and helped to connect the world. Sometimes I feel like all we do is fumble around and make everything worse.

Blake: You've been spending too much time in RWDE tag.

Weiss: What?

Ruby: What Blake meant to say is that we shouldn't compare ourselves to our predecessors. We are ourselves, end by being ourselves we will surpass them.

Jaune: Ruby is right. In some ways we already surpassed them. Weiss you steered your family in right direction and helped to save thousands, Ren defeated Nuckelavee and Yang's mom is a bum so Yang is better by default.

Yang: *smirks* I'll allow that.

Raven: You know I can hear you... *mutters* lousy brat.

Weiss: Weren't you overwhelmed by your family's legacy?

Jaune: I was, but then I realized this whole Arc thing is highly overrated. I mean look at the list of my ancestors. My father and grandfather were regular Huntsmen. Preceded by Dijon Arc who was farmer and condiment producer. Preceded by Cream Arc, rabbit breeder. Preceded by Beige Arc, con artist. Preceded by Lemon Arc, erotic novel writer...

Blake: Wait, Lemon is your ancestor? The person who made up Faunus heat cycles crap?

Jaune: See, completely overrated. Then there was Amarillo Arc...

*ten minutes later*

Jaune: And Flavius Arc was preceded by Aurelian Arc. No idea about that one, but I mean... look at him. Some masked weirdo.

Jaune: Aurelian Arc, born in a small town in Valean frontier. Became an elite warrior when he was 15. Overthrew corrupt pretender despot in Vale and became an Emperor of Vale. Repelled an invasion from Mantle, Mistral and Vacuo. Crushed separatists on Patch.

Ruby: Stinking revisionism...

Jaune: Repelled 753 separate Grimm hordes. Was known as Beowulf Basher, Nevermore Nullifier, Ursa Unmaker...

*5 minutes later*

Jaune: and Sabyr Strangler. Unified all of humanity under his banner as God Emperor of Remnant. Just as he was about to invade Grimmlands he was backstabbed by two of his bodyguards, Milius Lunarius and Carius Crucis. They feared that his main character energy would forever relegate everyone into irrelevance and that his sheer power made story way too boring.

Weiss: That was lot of information to take in.

Jaune: You know what... I agree with Weiss, we are never gonna live up to our ancestors.