#bobby would be traumatised and no one talks about it

[quodekash]

What happens when Emily and Mitch eventually find Julie’s YouTube or smth. Like. They just see their dead son. Singing with the girl who gave his song to them a few weeks back. And they’re in the place he ran away to. And he’s just right there. 

What would they do? 

I think they’d be amazed and devastated and a little angry, cos the natural assumption (especially with him being at the house he literally ran away to) would be that he never left, his spirit just went to - what they would assume is - the only place he ever felt truly at home. 

If that were me, I’d feel pretty horrible/angry that he never came to visit or give me a sign that he was (kind of) okay, and he just fully ignored me. And I know he didn’t actually ignore them, he just wasn’t around at al for 25 years, but they wouldn’t know that and I wish we could have a season 2 for them to explore the angst and feels and stuff around that situation. 

Adding on to that, possibly the way that they’d find out is through Bobby. He’d see they’re all somehow still alive in a way, and he’d tell anyone he could that would listen to him. Including the devastated parents of the kids he was in a band with. 

I’d also like to just add that Bobby would’ve  been pretty gosh darn traumatised by the events. Like any normal person who’s in a band with three of their closest friends and then they find out all three of them literally died and now they’re completely alone? They’d be pretty traumatised. He mentions to Carrie at one point “I’m gonna go see my therapist”, and it makes sense that he’d have a therapist, cos three of his friends literally died when they were all teenagers. 

I also think that Bobby would’ve been one of the first people to discover they’re dead. Like either it would be those random people in the background at the start, or the hot dog vendor guy, who would realise these kids are dying and call the ambulance, in which case Bobby probably wouldn’t be notified (cos he wasn’t with them at all) until he’d come outside eventually to tell them they’re on in five or smth and either find no one there at all, or find an ambulance speeding away, or see a bunch of paramedics lifting his friends’ bodies into an ambulance. Orrr he would go outside to find them, and then he himself - a flipping 16-18 year old, a literal teenager, minor, child - sees them asleep and tries to wake them up and nothing happens and he checks their pulses and fear grips his chest and he grabs out his phone (under the assumption that the garage/house is his family’s, and it’s a really nice house, so the conclusion there is that is his family is pretty rich, so I’d assume he’d have a phone with him) and calls emergency services, and that’s the last time he ever sees his friends. 

And then the guys go and haunt him, and he’s probably already been haunted by memories and the thought of their still, lifeless bodies, without the help of actually being genuinely haunted. 

And yeah, it was rly messed up that he stole their songs and gave no credit - or even mentioned them to Julie or rose or even Carrie. But also the guys doing that is messed up. It’s no wonder he never gave them credit or mentioned them to anyone, cos doing that would presumably awaken bad memories inside him, which he very much would not want. Poor guy is bloody traumatised. And carrie basically not reacting at all to her dad going to see his therapist implies that he sees his therapist a lot, probably frequently like once a week, so not only is he traumatised but he’s getting constant therapy for it and still needs more. And yeah, it’s possible those are just regular checkups cos everyone should get therapy whether they’re in a bad place or not, but the fact that he was clearly verbally and visibly distressed, and Carrie still doesn’t react, implies that he might have episodes a lot where he remembers the guys or thinks about them or whatever. 

AND ALSO HE DOES MEDITATION, which could be a coping technique from his therapist, or a way for him to clear his mind and thoughts. 

Whatever happened right after the guys died, whoever it was to find their bodies, it would be bloody traumatising for a group of four to suddenly be a group of one. He’d need extensive therapy and help for that, he’d be very much not okay, anyone in his shoes would be very much not okay. 

He might’ve contacted his friends’ families immediately, to tell them what happened, cos the guys didn’t like their parents at all. Reggie’s we’re right about to divorce. Luke’s didn’t want him in the band. Alex’s were homophobic. They all probably escaped from all of that every single day by going to Bobby’s house, to the one place where they could all be themselves without hate. So not only would it be horrifying to have a suddenly empty garage every day, for your friends to no longer be there, to know that they’ll never come back, Bobby would also probably have possessions from all of them, and no one other than Bobby would be able to give those to their families. Not only that, they probably wouldn’t even know for a while, because of how much their kids hated them. It’s possible they didn’t know for literally days, and they just assumed that their kids were staying overnight at Bobby’s. They wouldn’t think to contact their kids, or their kids’ friends and friends’ families, they’d just assume they’re okay. It was probably Bobby who had to break the news to all of them. So there’s some extra trauma and horrible-feelings piled on top of that. And he’d break the news to them as well as probably give them some things to remind their parents of their kids or something. Imagine an entire fic or episode or something based on Bobby’s experiences after the guys died. 

He’d go to Reggie’s place, interrupting a fight between his parents. He’d tell them their son is dead. He’d give them Reggie’s favourite pick or something. Reggie may be a mess, but something tells me he doesn’t leave his stuff lying around, like both physical objects and real things. He probably always thought he could just internalise it all, make it into jokes, not go into detail about how much his parents’ fights affect him and how scary it is, how he has to shield his younger siblings when he’s at home, to try and keep them safe and happy. Same with physical things: he would seem like the kind of person to forget to clean up after himself, who would leave it all lying around. But he keeps it clean, cos if he can’t clean out his mind and his own house, can’t get rid of the fighting, he might as well get rid of the things he could, take control of what he could. So he probably wouldn’t leave much lying around the garage, wouldn’t even own that much stuff to leave around the garage. He’d give it to Reggie’s parents and they would fight more, saying that it’s his fault Reggie died no it’s her fault and the other kids would cowed behind a corner and Bobby would hug the kids, try to protect them how Reggie used to, but knowing there’s no use. 

He’d go to Luke’s house, tell them their son is dead. They’d cry, they’d scream. Emily would be sure it’s her fault. Mitch would break down and fall to his knees. Bobby would stand there, unsure what to do. 

He’d go to Alex’s house. He’d hesitate at the door, not wanting to interact with these horrible people. Then he’d knock. He’d tell them the horrible news. He’d say he’s sorry. He’d say he wishes Alex could still be alive. Alex’s dad would stare at him menacingly. Alex’s dad would say “serves him right, doing the devils work”. Bobby would fill with anger. Alex’s mum would say “I’d feel sorry if he could’ve brought us a girlfriend rather than that boy. And a rebellious boy at that, he ran away from home to be in your little band.” Bobby would crack, the rage spilling over. He’d yell at them, scream at them, say they’re horrible parents, they didn’t deserve a beautiful amazing child like alex, that it wasn’t his choice, that they should be at least a little bit sad that their only child is gone, that someone they raised is gone from the world and he was only 17, that they could’ve had an ounce of respect or kindness in them to make alex actually feel like a person. He’d take a small pride flag out of his pocket, the one Alex left behind, shove it in their faces and say that everyone is a person. He’d storm away, going back to his home. He’d hang up the pride flag in his room, bright, proud, loud. He’d fall to the floor, crying, lost, terrified. He’d be horrified that someone can hate another person because of who they love, even when that person is their child, the literal result of their love, and they hate him because of love. He’d reflect on hate and love, two very different but very similar things, how they intertwine with one another, like some terrible but beautiful dance. 

[yakichoufd]

I got that issue thinking I would have a fun read and it was interesting but so disappointing too. There will be a of lof of spoilers here, so don't read my post if you want to enjoy that story first. It will also become an illustrated "fanfiction" cause I had to draw few things haha! I liked that Scott and Alex's parents survived their plane crash and both boys could have a normal childhood. The story is from Alex's point of view which is quite interesting. He barely remembers the plane accident, but Scott does (even if he never talks about it, but him remembering that event is important). Alex doesn't really know where he belongs since his big brother is "great at everything". Scott is great at school, sport, he has friends, he cares for his baby brother etc... and Alex feels like he is living in his brother's shadow. Then Scott get his mutation and get a personnality switch. Even if he controls his beams, he still freaks out and panics most of the time (which is fair, his power is very destructive after all). Then the story takes a direction I did not enjoy, so I won't talk about it. I will just explain what I would have liked to read instead. I would have loved for the two brothers to bond over what Scott was dealing with. For once Alex's big brother needed help and support. Alex could have been there for his so "perfect" big brother. It could have reversed their roles and boost Alex's confidence. It could have create a deep relationship between the two brothers.

Scott is traumatised by the plane accident. He has a nightmare seeing aliens looking after them when their plane hit the ground. It is during that nightmare that Scott's power manifests. Maybe him freaking out about his powerful mutation is linked to that traumatic event. Maybe he is scared of destruction since their plane got hit by alien's weapons? Maybe he thinks the aliens did this to him? I don't know but he is a very scared kid who is cclearly afraid of that attack. Scott could have talk about that to his parents. They are very supportive and caring. That story could have grown their family bond stronger. Plus both brothers have a destructive mutation, that could have made them closer than ever. Continuing with that alternative universe. Xavier gives up on Scott a bit too fast (which makes little sense imo) but I would have find it interesting that a less awkward Scott meet Warren, Hank, Bobby and Jean. He could have joined the mansion still as a lost teenager but his social understanding would have been so much better.

I do not think he would have fall for Jean like he did in the comics. Maybe he would never have fall for her since he was popular back home. I think comic Scott always fell for Jean because she was so perfect and he was a lost kid who had nothing but a lot of love to give. Or he could fall for her once he is more mature. I love that HC that Scott is a bisexual bean, so he could have had a boyfriend back home. Bobby could have understand himself a bit faster seeing Scott with another boy.

Scott being in a loving family he would be at ease with his sexuality and he and his family's popularity in town made everyone accepting everything easily. However Scott still being afraid about his mutation, he wouldn't have tell anyone why he went to Xavier's mansion. Whcih would confure his mutant friends a lot. Scott could still have trouble with accepting who he is and how his loved ones see him which will be his personnal dilemma.

(Todd is the OC boyfriend haha) Warren and Scott could have been close friends and maybe more. Angel is a very caring character too and he would have understand Scott's scasred mind. I think Scott could still have being brainswhased to become a child soldier (which would terrified his parents) but it would have helped Scott to accept his power. He could still become an amazing field leader but I do not think he would have stayed under Xavier's manipulation long. He would have take his own path eventually. He has the confidence and his years with the X-men would have created his network. I think that AU has a lot of potential and it didn't need to become over dramatic as the original issue did. Siniter could have shown up later or not at all. I do not think he needs to be present in Scott's life in every universe. Being a mutant is already hard as it is, you can always find dama around that if you want a dramaticc story.

[missmarveledsblog]

A KIND OF SEX EDUCATION ( PART THREE) ( PLATONIC Cas , winchesters x reader)

SUMMARY : Cas finds onlyfans , all it not what it seems though

warning : its just pure crack and fun

Turns out even as traumatising as the last time of cas curiosities didn’t actually have too bad of out come and as much as she had hated to admit dean was right about them dating . although never in the bunker was it peaceful for too long . turns out bobby was her dad and she learned new thing about her parents no child should ever learn …ever. 

Something else was different too every night at 8 pm cas would disappear off into his room even when on hunt he would head off some where always at 8pm , of course they were curious  but after last few ordeal with the angel well the curiosity was just not enough to investigate . well until ..

“ i am in love and i think it time i brought her here” he said  completely out of the blue . 

“ you have a girlfriend good job buddy … don’t show her your internet history though” dean snorted only for y/n to slap him in back of the head. 

“ she’s real right?” sam asked needing clarifications after poor guy fell for an A.i bot . 

“ she’s very real we talk every night at 8pm . 

“ that’s great cas maybe we can go for a double date sometime “ y/n beamed more for the fact it probably the most normal interaction she had with the angel in what felt forever . 

“ i shall ask her although she said friends cost extra” he said heading off to his room as they all shared a look. 

“ who the hell is spending 500 dollars a night on …” bobby called. 

“ you go in i’m not going in , i’m always the one here for this shit” she argued as three stood out his door. 

“ oh for fuck sake  i’m moving out” she whined. 

......

“ you’re nicer though he listens to you and better than him he’ll break his heart” sam reasoned . 

“ why aren’t you in the equations” she scoffed. 

“ i don’t want to deal with it to be honest” sam huffed. 

“ how about we all go talk to him i mean plus lets see what she like she could be nice gal for all we know” dean grinned. 

“ do you like having a girlfriend” she glared . 

“ point taken you should take this one” he smiled pushing her into the room. 

“ another tip from my angel any requests” the voice called as y/n was ready to burst into tears thinking maybe wifi in the bunker was over rated.

“ hey cas i need to erm talk to you it’s urgent” . 

“ why are you're eyes covered if its urgent” she could already picture his tilted head and confused face but she was afraid just incase his little saint was out awaiting . “ i got to go my love i will come back tomorrow” he called as silence filled the room god this was going to like shooting bambi’s mother. 

“ he’s dressed sweetheart” was all dean voice said echoing down the  hall. 

“ oh thank fuck , hey buddy can we talk” she asked softly and wishing she was well anywhere else. 

“ of course it is urgent” he nodded. 

“ jesus how do i go about this?” she sighed rubbing her temples. 

“ are you pregnant? I noticed the little weight but i didn’t want to mention it” he looked down at her stomach. 

“ getting less hard , no i’m not pregnant may need to go on a diet though… nevermind cas whats your loves name?” she shook her head staying on point albeit less confident then before .

“Angel lady six nine” he beamed proudly . 

“ oh you poor sap it’s sixty nine  not the the point cas have you talk with her like in person or …” . 

“ on only fans gabriel sent me the link said it was a website for meeting exciting women and now i met my love and she makes me so happy … and it make my hands want to do the thing i see ” he smiled . 

“ well i’m glad, good chatting buddy” she backed out the room definitely not the one to be dealing with this . 

So now here sam was while dean was telling y/n she wasn’t fat.  He could do it rip the bandaid off but provide some sort of comfort maybe bring him somewhere to meet real woman that wouldn’t send them to the poor house. 

“ hey cas can we talk” he smiled awkwardly seeing the angel eyes locked on screen .

“ of course it seems as everyone wants to do that tonight” he place it down as sam caught a glimpse of the page he was on . 

“ your love isn’t well actually love” he cut to the point . 

“ why not she tells me all the time” his head tilted like a confused puppy. 

“ that’s cause you give her five hundred dollars a night i mean she call you king of the world for that sort of money” . 

“ she shows me her things like…” he began to explain. 

“ i don’t need to know that .. but she not really in love with you buddy just the money you give her?” sam asked watching his reaction seeing the cogs turn in the mans head. 

“  i don’t get it” he finally said. 

“ ok… goodnight” sam huffed walking out as dean stormed  . 

“ hello dean” cas smiled. 

“ ok buddy you're dating a prostitute electronically needs to stop or we can’t buy pie so stop wasting the money online great talk buddy” he shut the door as the other two watched him walk off in victory . 

“ nothing wrong with earning money like that woman power ,  just not ours cas” y/n winced at her boyfriends way with words following after. 

They sat worried as cas never showed up for breakfast  , y/n even checked to see his room empty to which sam said to give him space. 

“ jesus your right that was like shooting bambi” sam called heading in the same direction. 

......

“ but what if we made him run away” she pouted. 

“ he’s literally older than all of us and an angel” dean shrugged. 

“ but he’s a baby in a trench coat you say it all time” she pointed out . 

“ the kitchen is through here , would you like a drink” the voice called out. 

“ oh water is fine” a female voice replied as the two appeared making them not only drop their jaws but whatever was in their face as the woman followed behind. 

“ is that…” she whispered. 

“ the hook..OWW” Dean yelled as y/n kicked him . 

“This my love  angel , angel these are my friends who think your a hooker”  cas said as sam choked on his drink.

“We don’t think your a hooker” y/n smiled weakly . 

“ actually we do  onlyfans means one thing … not that i would know i’ve never seen it before” dean corrected himself as his girlfriend glared. 

“ you know people do other things on onlyfans not only sexwork right “ angel crossed her arms. 

“ come on angel sixty nine” dean scoffed. 

“ six point nine my birthday is the 9th of june” she answered.

“ look we don’t slut shame but you make his hands wanna move” sam pointed out . 

“ to teach him to draw” she gasped .

 “ five hundred dollars to paint really cas” bobby walked in. 

“ he doesn’t pay me a dollar” angel pointed out . 

“ where our money going then” y/n brow furrow. 

“ wait that’s real money i though it was pretend money” jack walked in with his tablet showing them the gambling site he was on . 

“Wait so she's not a hooker” dean asked confused. . 

“ sorry angel” the called in unison .

" we're getting rid of the wifi i can't be dealing with this shit" y/n called heading out the room .

@pizzagirlxnsfwx hope you enjoy part three :)

[melancholicstation]

Kennedy hot takes:

I don’t think Bobby would have made a great president, or even a great politician. He came in on JFK’s coattails.

Ethel was not a good mom, and bears some responsibility for RFK Jr.

Rose Kennedy gets too much hate. She did the best she could given her situation.

Ted Kennedy is evil and pretty much destroyed the Kennedy legacy. He should not be celebrated under any circumstances.

JFK Jr would not have made a good politician or president. He should’ve stuck with acting.

JFK was emotionally abusive and used Jackie for his own ends. He didn’t view her as a person until the very end.

Joan Kennedy is the most tragic of all the Kennedy’s, besides Rosemary.

okay, a lot to digest

1, bobby was already a politician and I think his eagerness for change and impulsivity would've proven to make him a very interesting president-for better or for worse who knows but id like to think it would've been for the better

2, whenever I think about ethel and feel an urge to call her a "bad" mom I remind myself of that one quote where it said that she "held so much grief in her hands that she had no room to comfort her children". i think about that a lot, not that it excuses her behaviour, it's all very nuanced.

3, rose kennedy could be extremely cruel to her children, specifically her boys, but I haven't read much about her nor do i find her particularly interesting so I don't have much to disagree or agree

4, i feel like the ted kennedy whole thing went pretty under the radar since I don't see a lot of people talking about it when they bring up the kennedy's so i don't see him totally ruining the legacy, but maybe that's just my echo-chamber?

5, i think JFK was extremely emotional repressed and felt deeply emasculated due to his sickness that followed him from teenage hood into adulthood which drove him to become a womaniser to assert his "masculinity". do i think jackie was this emotionally battered, wilting flower of a woman? no, not entirely because i see her as a nuanced woman who isn't simply a victim as that's demeaning to her and who played a part in her marriage with JFK, but do I think that some of the things JFK put her through would be emotionally scarring and traumatising? yes

6, don't know much about joan at all, rosemary's case was all together tragic and traumatising for everyone involved

[bella-rose29]

episode 5 commentary - Death Is Coming

the usual warnings of swearing and lack of context, as well as a lot of comments on hands and arms and obviously spoilers for both the series and the books

girl has stare down with a skull in a jar

omg it's been so long since I watched and I forgot how pretty lockwood is

OMG HE ASKS IF SHE WANTS JUICE

WHAT IF THE JUICE IS ORANGE AND HAS BITS IN

lolllll George is shipping already and the episode only just started

Georgie needs more sleep

lockwood takes the Mum Stance

I always think that the DEPRAC van is a lego van bc it's yellow

ohhh you can really see how big the coat is on lockwood :(((

ooo nice detail with the lavender pin that he has

'wILL yOu cAN iT pAm'

hands

ugh Lockwood's so pretty

Georgie noo

'bobby Vernon will have been at it since dawn'

'alarming how quickly you got into character' (code for: I am completely in love with you')

careful Georgie that's a lot of blood

ew dead body

'I know him' YOU CAN SEE HOW UPSET HE IS BUT HE'S GONNA HIDE IT BC HE FEELS THE NEED TO BE STRONG ALL THE TIME

I JUST WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG

CAMERON CHAPMAN THE MAN YOU ARE HOW DO YOU DO THE MICRO EXPRESSIONS SO WELL

ohhh lockwood is trying so hard to not be upset and it breaks my heart :((( poor boy

✨swagger✨

I want an epic breakfast

'I hardly knew him' BOY DON'T-

wow she's a bitch let my boy do research

get away from Georgie you bitch

eeeeeee

'when am I not nice' Luce I hate to break it to you

Lucy that is very clearly a ghost and not a real baby

silly goose behaviour

'I did' QUEEN

'who's the latest slapper?' ICONIC

'oh wow, a female serial killer? aspirational, why don't you stick it on a t-shirt'

I love lockwood bc he makes sure the remains go to a good home AND Flo gets her money

ohhhh I just had a Thought! what if one of the reasons they made Joplin a woman was to draw parallels between her and Mary dulac??? one of the headlines on the papers is 'mystery madwoman: Bickerstaff connection?' so maybe they wanted to repeat the past but this time make the crazy one go too far and die? idk if that even makes sense but oh well

Georgie noooo

no leave him alone

let him go clean the oven and I'll be there to make him a tea

WIFE BEHAVIOUR

he can't even slice toast without being Extra

JONATHAN BESTIEEEEE

'a suicide note' Lucy honey have you noticed that your bf has a tendency for suicidal things

I really wish the bisto was in the background bc that would be hilarious

'I thought you'd be dead by now' NO LETS TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

BECAUSE HE GOES FROM QUIRKING A LIL SMILE, TO LOOKING DOWN AND THE SMILE DISAPPEARING, TO INHALING AND SMILING EVEN WIDER BECAUSE HE KNOWS LUCY IS WATCHING HIM

give that boy some therapy for free

aw two nerds talking about mythology (I wish I was the other one)

also can we talk about the STAGING OF THIS SCENE??? BECAUSE JOPLIN HAS A MIRROR OVER HER LEFT SHOULDER AND GEORGE HAS ONE OVER HIS RIGHT

also George has the city lights behind him and Joplin just has the beige walls and I love that for some reason, maybe to show that George's life is bright and he's got life left in him whereas Joplin can only gain brightness from George bc she needs him for the mirror? idk if I'm explaining that right but oh well! also Joplin's mirror reflects the light behind George which is funky

just you wait for my next analysis of the show which is almost certainly gonna be on the use of mirrors lol

THE STAGING AGAIN

FILMING THEM IN THE MIRRORS

I LOVE THIS GHOST SHOW

'how did you meet Flo?' 'can't remember. ages ago' LOL HE'S HIDING THE FACT HE GOT HIS ASS BEATEN

ohhh the green lighting

'I'm not worried. are you?' well not when you say it like that

while I do love this show I am very sad we didn't see more of lockwood using disguises

of course he knows how to pick locks

I don't like it either Lucy dw

I love how jarringly innocent the stuffed bear is compared to the fact that they're in the warehouse of a family with a significantly traumatised boy

lockwood and kids <3

sack of potatoes

I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she must be dragging the Actual Cameron Chapman out by his feet

Georgie noooooo

idk why he's looking around bc he doesn't have his glasses on so he can't see shit

I shouldn't feel the way I do about lockwood regaining consciousness but the expressions- I just- hmm

'I'm a burglar, you should call the police' honey not one of your better lies

no bc why when I first watched this did I think that winkman was the same actor as Pekka Rollins

winkman: 'shall I draw some pretty pictures on your pretty little face'

lockwood: 'omg you think I'm pretty?? 🤭🥰'

ohhh I'm getting inspiration for a fic I started planning 👀

I can't imagine having to pretend you're being electrocuted like how do you know how to act that

I feel like something can be said about Leopold wearing red and mrs winkman (I forgot her first name WAIT ADELAIDE) also wearing red but idk what

omg hedgehogwood

winkman is actually so funny *points at lockwood* *puts hand over heart* 'ohhh' he's literally us

aw lockwood pls don't say that she's got more to live for than you :(((

omg Lucy tells Leopold to get out the way <333 she'll regret that :D

this couple loves setting fires

Georgie seriously how are you without your glasses rn

green light green light green light

funny looking bird you got there george

'total psychos' dude-

'I prefer to call it a noble sacrifice' NO I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

greeeeeeen lightssssss

'what is going on with you' Cameron Chapman Acts his Fucking Face Off

omg lockwood saw the knife and then looked out the door to see what was there

that's such an awful angle to be lying down

omg poor lockwood

the way he's sat in that final frame breaks my heart bc he's literally just had someone else die in his home :(((

wow what a depressing note to end on

[chaoticornot]

9-1-1 s07e01 reaction rambles

9-1-1 s07e01

Season 7 here we come. I am excited and also kind of scared.

Hey Frank. Frank, that is perfectly fine, I am also traumatised by the shows and movies that I watched when I was a child. Athena is being very relatable right now. I love it when Frank is an asshole. I know something is gonna happen on that cruise.

Is this a dream?? That man is gonna get bullied for the rest of his life, haha. Captain Hen!! "I'll talk you through it." My mind is in the gutter, haha. This is giving me flashbacks to the ambulance bombing where all started for Buck and Eddie. Hen is like, thank the fuck god. Hey shirtless Eddie, did you grow more abs in comparison to last season or am I tripping? I love Buck's pants. Their smiles talking about Chris, aww. Eddie's face when Buck said they broke up, the dramatics, haha. The hand on the shoulder, oh how I have missed you. I love dramatic Eddie. His smilee after Eddie leaves.

This is such a cute idea, but they are gonna obsess over it and it will become a problem. But it's adorable. Bobby and Athena dancing, love that for them. Athena, noo, Bobby being a supportive nonembarrassed husband, love that for you guys. OMG, THAT'S HER???? I would have not guessed that. This is weird, like suspicious weird. Bobby, spicy. Oh, Athena, do not even worry about that, you will be fine. Bobby is confused, utterly confused but supportive.

Josh is also confused, utterly confused, but supportive.

I love it when they have serious conversations while doing something like putting out a fire. The 'I hate you face' was strong on that one. Christopher's giggles are so cute. Best friends who parent together stay together, haha. The way he is pawning that conversation off to Buck is so funny. Like, best friend, will you please have this important conversation with my son even though I am perfectly capable of doing it, please? The soot under eyes, is so cute, haha.

Bobby is suspecting something. Not the AA meeting, haha, I don't know if that is the place for what your priorities are. The way he popped back into the screen to add the alcoholic part, haha.

The way they are looking at each other, lol. The proud looks, I am so proud and they are too and this is so wholesome, awww, yes Eddie!! The way Buck teases, aww. Not Hen teasing Chim as well. Chris baby, are you doing okay? The way Buck is realising really fast that something is wrong, like really wrong. This is about Shannon, oh Chris, you can't compare that. The way Buck and Eddie both look lost. Eddie's face, the hurt and guilt and pain in that face, oh, this has me tearing up. The way Buck looked at the door, at Eddie like he knew that he was there and knew what he was thinking is fucking with my head.

Bobby is frustrated right now. The proud look in his eyes, he thought he got somewhere. Bobby's face of realisation, haha.

Please Chris don't rip it, please, I know you are feeling emotional but you will regret that. The heartbreak on Eddie's face. They got her to do the audio, shut up, I can't do this. The hope in Eddie's face as he takes in the scene, ohh, you guys.

He bought a hot tub, omg. They are getting pirated, oh no. That is the biggest lie ever told. 

[positivelybeastly]

Would you consider Xavier partially responsible for what Hank's become?

"The man is the foremost telepathic talent on the planet. If there's anything I've done that he takes umbrage with, he knows where to find me, and he knows exactly why I did it."

Partially responsible is absolutely what I'd call it, yeah. For starters, Charles snatched Hank up at the age of 17-19, wiped his parents and girlfriend's minds of his existence, and cut them all out of his life for his safety. If he wants to claim he isn't responsible for what Hank ended up doing, he can explain why he decided he was going to supplant Edna and Norton as his sole parental figure.

Now, Hank decides to go with Xavier here, because he does want to contribute, he does want to make a change in the world, because ultimately he believes in the Professor's dream.

But.

It's a fractious relationship.

Like, this is going to have a psychological effect on a teenager. This is going to give him trust issues, this is going to make him feel uncertain and alienated and under pressure. It's also worth noting that Hank, unlike almost all of the rest of the O5 (you could argue the point with Bobby and Warren, but it's certainly true of Scott and Jean, especially in the Krakoan era) never really broke away from the Professor's politics.

He never had a moment where he was able to really walk away from the Professor, denounce him or give him what for, and you could reasonably make the case that it's because the Professor kinda traumatised him here, or at the very least, made Hank dependent on him. He's constantly seeking his validation, his approval, and it colours his teacher's pet tendencies in a very different light.

And while Hank continues to have a fruitful relationship with his actual parents over the years - honestly, he has maybe the healthiest and most loving mom and dad in the Marvel Universe - there's still a degree to which he never, quite, walks away from Xavier. Where he never quite became his own man.

Oddly enough, one of the best examples of this comes during Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men run, during the Danger arc. There's a kind of rule that you should be aware of, whenever Hank is in a comic, and it's this: if Hank McCoy is not speaking, then there is a reason that he is not speaking.

Go back and read the issues where they're first talking about the mutant cure. Scott, Emma, Kitty, Logan, they're all talking up a storm, and Hank is just dead fucking silent. No-one notices, no-one brings it up, you just get these panels of him staring out the window. Logan maybe seems to notice? But he leaves it, until Emma tells him what Hank's thinking the next day. He doesn't engage.

Emma just brought up murder, and Hank isn't even paying attention. Because he's emotionally compromised, and he doesn't care about the conversation, he is in his own head, and he does not have anything to contribute. And no-one notices. Even though Hank normally can't shut the fuck up, they just. Don't notice. But this isn't an isolated incident.

The Professor just admitted to oppressing and weaponising a new form of artificial life, a mutant, and everyone has something to say, except Hank. He just looks forlorn. He looks lost. He looks emotionally compromised, because he is dependent on the Professor, and he cannot bring himself to throw scorn upon him.

He's not wired that way. Maybe on some level he's afraid, maybe on another level he's just hurt and unable to articulate it, maybe he just wants to sort it all out in his head, but this is legitimately one of those moments where who doesn't talk is as important as who does. And you see it again during the Utopia era.

Hank is the only one who stands by Xavier's side.

Because that is the way he's wired. There's almost an argument to be made that Scott and Hank are Xavier's favourite sons - the man he chose to lead and steer his dream, and the man who he moulded most in his own image, whether he realised it or not.

The revolutionary and the assimilationist.

Two brothers who used to be so incredibly close, and then it all fell apart - and to be clear, Hank has so many reasons to start hating Scott during this era (no matter what you think of how right Scott's actions may have been, guess what, you can be making all the right tactical calls and still be a fucking monster), but I would absolutely say that the way Scott treated their 'father' is up there and in the mix.

In a more competent version of All-New X-Men, this dynamic, and the fact that 'Scott' killed the Professor, would have been more key to Hank and Scott's destroyed friendship, but instead, it's - all sort of vague, because Bendis' version of Hank is ill sketched out and emotionally inconsistent. But we do get shades of it in Hickman's New Avengers.

This is one of those things that really annoys me about especially the X-Men Reddit - is that they love to point out Hank taking part in this version of the Illuminati, running around being 'amoral super scientists' (they aren't, actually, they spend SO much time agonising over every little decision), even though it isn't even his choice, really. He got drafted, just like he did into the X-Men, and yes, he technically had a choice to leave, but he's in a place where he doesn't feel as though he truly can.

Because of the Professor.

Again.

And eventually, he does start realising just how much the Professor has hurt him, has broken him, has ruined his life, in ways.

There is so much that Hank could have been. He had so much potential, to be anything he wanted. But the Professor chose him. Plucked him from the crowd, and told him, you're going to be this.

In some ways, Hank welcomed it. In other ways, it frightened him, and I don't think it's a coincidence that he's the first X-Man to leave, both temporarily (after he gets nearly beaten to death by a mob in Uncanny X-Men #8), and permanently, when he leaves to work for the Brand Corporation. He's almost always leaving, because he doesn't want to be there. It doesn't suit him. It hurts him.

It poisons him.

And when we come to Krakoa, well . . .

There's a more interesting version of X-Force that more thoroughly investigates why Beast goes the way he does, and it would require talking about Scott and about the Professor, and of course Logan, and the fact that, through their actions, they've taught Beast several things.

That violence works.

That if people disagree with you, by all means try other methods, but change their minds if you must.

That no-one will ever give you what you want, no-one will ever free you or leave you alone, unless you make them.

But instead, it's all off-panel. Xavier just keeps covering for Beast. We don't even see them talk. Beast kills an entire country. Beast's space prison. Every awful little crime against humanity, and Charles has to know. How could he not? People keep telling him, and even if they don't, he's the premiere mutant telepathic talent on the planet.

How could he not know?

The answer is, he does.

And so.

What's the final word, Charles?

Mhm-hmm.

Maybe he's aware just how much he's responsible for this.

Maybe he's just protecting one of his favourite sons. His best pupil.

But no matter how you cut it, he IS responsible.

Just as a lot of the Quiet Council are, frankly, but let's be real here, Xavier is the leader. He is the head of state. Ultimately, it's on him.

And I do want to clarify that this isn't an attempt by me to shift blame away from Beast, because his whackadoodle bullshit garbage characterisation is still canon, as much as I despise it, and while I personally read it as a completely insane break from reality, that's not what's been put on page. He ultimately is responsible for his crimes.

But.

He did not act alone.

[riskyalt]

PART 7 WE'RE SO BACK why are there 51 notes whuh. To make up for the wait I wrote drabble + headcannons and such :]

Cellbit's presence wasn't always seen, but rather more felt. He wasn't particularly vibrantly present, but always steadily humming along in the background. Investigating, exploring, taking notes, talking, you name it.

He isn't a quiet soul by any means, he likes to laugh and shout with friends, but the investigation takes priority to his social life. Which is a sad conclusion to come to, in his opinion.

The further he investigates, the less he appears. It goes from his tail hanging off a branch being spotted in the sun to just a trick of light where he usually appears.

Now scarred and traumatised as punishment for getting too close - he's reached the point of overflow.

In his mind, it's all very clearly logical and structured.

Firstly, the tail end of the investigation (and subsequent rescue) has to be conducted by him and him alone. He's sure of his own detective prowess, and decides he can manage without another brain to come to his aid. He cannot risk the lives of other Ranchers at Cucurucho's paws, so it's safe to conclude he has to do this in solitude.

Second, he can't just up and disappear like he'd prefer to do. There's a few people that will dive nose first into trying to catch his trail, and again, the bear might not take so kindly to that. To not jeopardize the entire mission, he decides he has to make it so no one looks for him. He has to do this truly alone.

Third, - and this is the hardest part - he must get into Cucurucho's good books. He knows the territory beyond the puzzle portal is certainly Federation occupied, the torture only proved him correct in that regard. So, no Rancher knows those lands enough to draw up a guide. The only way, is through.

Cellbit must play double agent, and sweep up his own tracks from his loved ones. It's harsh, it's going to be painful, but it's what must be done.

Roier notes that Jaiden has been coming over less and less. And it's fine, she can do whatever she likes, but the silence echoing into his ears beyond the fourth time Caramello has played, is....miserable.

He misses the sound, he misses the laughter, he misses Bobby and he misses Cellbit.

He hasn't seen the Brazilian very much recently either, and decides he'll stop moping and go himself, just like he'd done when Roier needed him.

Roier goes over to the Favela Ranch, wide grin met with Pac's look of worry and Richas' tight hug on his waist. Something's off, and he immediately realises it.

Pac explains of Cellbit's workaholic nature, how it's gotten worse than it ever was, and that there's nothing the investigator is stopping for unless absolutely forced.

Roier worries and rushes to the office, to find the cluttered space with papers and pen ink scattered across the cabin space. Cellbit sits at the table, firmly scribbling away and only calling out for him to leave as soon as the Mexican steps in.

Once Roier starts speaking, Cellbit lifts his head and however much it goes against his plan - he's glad to see him. Very glad.

The Mexican is a therapist at heart, and so senses that there is a lot to be said about Cellbit's pale complection and twitchy eyes. He drags him back to his own Ranch, sitting down at the foot of the cherry tree on the rise, that gives them a great view of the moon.

They talk, about nothing at first, both clinging to the sense of normalcy that the banter brings between them, before conversation slows into a comfortable silence as they rest on the soft grass below.

Roier wants to probe, wants to ask, desperately wants to reach out a hand and pull the Brazilian out of the shadow he'd fallen in, because he'd done the exact same for him in those first weeks after Bobby's death. It's still a fresh wound, but without Cellbit it would still be bleeding down his heart.

Cellbit is fighting an internal battle, already terrifyingly aware how he physically cannot bring himself to lie to those eyes and that smile. He can't. He just can't hurt Roier any more than the world has.

So, he spills.

He doesn't mention the entire plan, or that he's sure that he'll get kidnapped in the end, but notes of his work as a double agent, and watches as Roier listens carefully and gently, concern only mounting in that pretty gaze.

In the end, expecting rejection or scolding, Cellbit receives only unconditional support. Roier promises to stay by his side, and maybe, just maybe that's enough for him.

--

Sorry for the wait, I am excited to write more drabble for this, and the next parts are going to be FUNKY, as I deviate from canon even further

--

Okay, more bits-

Yep. Exactly.

I absolutely think the Federation purposefully makes the Far, Far Range aesthetically pleasing. They make sure that the slimes stay cute, that the plans still shine, that the tarrs are dealt with (as best they can be). Any specimens that aren't up to par are terminated by the island's agents and Cucurucho. This is in part made to make the island seem less threatening, to allow the residents to loosen up and to make the Federation seem less threatening. And it drives Cellbit even more insane.

This is what makes it so hard to believe the Federation really is that evil, because the world around them is so soft and charming you know?

Also! Thank you for the question Capybara (reminder if you want to ask about any details you can put anything in the tags or comment I'll read it :] )

I think Bobby and Richas spent a lot of time doodling together, and subsequently made a world of imaginary creatures and monsters that they constantly drew together as a bonding activity. In this, Bobby made a creature called a 'mooshroom cow' and Richas' eyes sparked when he saw it. He loved that thing.

So, for his birthday, Bobby asked Jaiden to help him make a hat that resembled the mooshroom, designed by him.

This was the last birthday Bobby ever attended.

From there, Richas takes great care to keep the hat clean, and never lets it out of his sight for more than two seconds. If it needs washing, he will actively sit in front of Pac's fancy cleaning machine and stare at it until it finishes washing, then put it on as quickly as he can get it out. To Richas, it's like keeping a part of Bobby with him <3

For this AU, I'd say the eggs resemble human children but with exaggerated hybrid elements. I'll just list them all out here for future reference:

Bobby would be a bird hybrid with dark blue wings, tinted hair and bird talons.

Richas would be a dragon hybrid with scales, horns and a tail.

Pomme would be a butterfly hybrid, with beautiful red wings and antennae.

Pepito would be an axolotl hybrid, with those frills and a thick tail.

Dapper would be a ghost or spirit hybrid of some sort, with black fog elements and glowy eyes.

Ramon would be a chinese dragon hybrid, with horns, claws and a tail.

Leo would be a dog hybrid (you know exactly the one), with ears and a tail.

Juanaflippa would be a green lizard hybrid of some sort, with scales, claws and a tail.

Chayanne would be a skeleton hybrid, with a bone face mask.

Lullah would be a dragon hybrid, with a tail and wings.

Sunny would be a lion hybrid, with ears and claws.

Empanada would be a leopard hybrid, with ears, claws and a tail.

In this AU I think that the children would slightly morph to resemble the parents they're closest to, as part of the Federation's plan to have the residents like them. For example: Bobby's hair colour darkens pretty quickly to be similar to Jaiden's, and the blue tips begin to resemble the colour of Roier's bandanna.

I also think the residents would definately have a central hub space somewhere where they all meet up and construct things similar to Spawn on the server, which would be placed geographically to be the closest to everyone as much as possible.

Spiderbit Slime Rancher AU where 7Zee Corp. is the Federation, Familioier all run a ranch together filled with Hunter slimes, Rock slimes and Fire slimes because they're Bobby's favorite and all the other additional ones like Honey, Mosaic, Boom and Crystal slimes for Jaiden as well.

Brazilians arrive boom, new ranch, after the disappearances of Felps, Cellbit breaks off to do more investigative work and Richas joins him, which is how they meet Bobby and Roier exploring out in the Moss Blanket getting Hunter slimes.

And then boom. Spiderbit ensues.

Gang im so delirious i don't even know, Slime Rancher 1 is like 50% off on steam summer sale go play it its adorable and amazing

[atlasonfire]

Okay, here's some more The Quarry head canons while i wait for my computer to update (i love writing these):

After Ryan's third year coming back to be a counsellor after the re-opening of Hackett's Quarry Summer Camp, Caleb decides to make him co-owner alongside Max instead of just a counsellor. Caleb quits, and decides to become a cop like his Uncle Travis. Travis deserves a load off his shoulders once in a while.

Its complicated, and Ryan remembers a Bizarre Yet Bonafide episode on people who take ownership of generational family land without being apart of the bloodline being cursed and has some superstitions about becoming co-owner — but Caleb tells him Chris would've wanted it, and that gets Ryan to ease up.

Ryan still tells ghost stories to the kids.

He moves to Night Kill, much like Laura and Max.

He manages to convince Kaitlyn to visit, but she never stays longer than three days and never on a week with a full moon.

Max is the least organised camp owner ever. Never wears the uniform (most because he doesn't want to look stupid.), doesn't know the schedules, etc. Laura is pretty sure he wasn't ready for the responsibility but took it anyway. She helps him on most nights to get things in order.

Ryan wears the uniform that Chris used to wear (not the...exact one. Chris had a lot of spares being a werewolf and all) for the first week of summer before deciding it was uncomfortable and goes back to his regular clothes. Being a camp mentor wasn't about the looks, after all.

He manages to convince Dylan to come down, after an entire spring of begging for some company besides Laura and Max. "Listen, I love em'. I bled with Laura, man, i let her bite me, but come on. I'm going crazy."

Laura is the camp nurse, but otherwise spends time hunting with Bobby. This time, regular hunting.

Speaking of Bobby, Ryan is iffy around him — considering he was literally stabbed by him, but they get over their differences and Ryan realises that Bobby was only doing as he saw/was told.

When Dylan finally does come down to Hackett's Quarry, things are awkward. He and Ryan never really talked face-to-face after their trial in court, especially not about what they were.

Despite this, when they first see each other, they hug for a solid three minutes. Ryan is almost afraid if he lets go, Dylan wont really be there, and Dylan is afraid that if he lets go that Ryan will see how much has changed and will regret asking him to come.

"I was listening to that stupid podcast during the ride here."

"And?"

"How are you still sane? I wanted to climb through my phone and strangle everyone involved in making something so stupid. Several times."

"They cleared our names, Dylan."

"Yeah, yeah. We all know who sent them that stupid package."

Flirting ensues.

Emma sees an ad for Hackett's Quarry Summer Camp in the paper and tells all of her subscribers about Ryan being the new face of the camp, and shares some stories about him. She also sees Max, is confused for a moment, then remembers him as Laura's boyfriend.

"You guys see this stupid face? This is that bitch i tased. I mean... it was a very different looking face, but it was this face behind all of the whole ugly...furless werewolf thing."

She doesnt know if her subscribers actually believe the whole werewolf thing, but regardless, she tells everything as she remembers.

Jacob starts a tiktok about his experience as a summer camp counsellor, but also for his love of peanut butter butter pops. In his bio it says,

He/him yes I'm that guy that brought back the best snack under the sun.

He almost goes back to Hacketts quarry, just for a tiktok video, but changes his mind mostly because he doesn't want to run around the forest naked again by accident somehow.

Abigail sees the same ad in the paper and texts Emma about considering going back.

Emma gives her a psychological evaluation - which is literally just a BuzzFeed quiz of "would YOU get murdered in a horror movie?"

Abigail got traumatised but lived, and takes that as a sign to go back. She really enjoyed her time at the camp as a counsellor, besides the whole...almost dying to her almost summer boyfriend.

Ryan is pleased to see her, and Dylan is happy to see her too. One more person to hear his jokes.

Dylan gives the announcements every morning like usual, but every night he makes an announcement now too, "stay in your cabins during the night, kids, or a bear will get you and eat off your hand like they did to mine!"

He gets more and more creative every night. Every one of the nightly announcements are about bears, maybe sometimes he makes a remark about a boar to tease Abigail.

One of the kids, during bonfire night, asks Ryan about the supposed werewolves.

Ryan brings a flashlight up to his face, illuminating him in the dark and starts telling some stereotypical horror story about werewolves he saw on the internet a while back, but changes the location to Hacketts Quarry.

"And thats why you never wanna talk about them. Cause they'll hear you. And they'll.. eat. You. Right. Up."

Dylan walks into the circle coincidentally just as he says that and is met with screams.

He screams back.

Max scolds Ryan for telling scary stories to the kids, and Ryan remembers that Chris had said something similar and withdraws a little with the scary stories.

Nick makes a short film about turning into a werewolf (totally not based on reality.)

Emma finds it funny, and reacts/reviews it on her youtube channel.

Abigail, always supportive and sweet, helps with some of the concept art for the (animated) werewolves. Nick wonders if any of the designs are reminiscent of what he looked like as one, but picks blindly.

Laura finds what she was looking for in coming back to Hacketts Quarry and Night Kill, eventually. Peace with what happened.

The nightmares might stay, the memories wont go away, but she manages to sleep a little easier after one long night talking to Travis about that fateful day.

Laura makes a headstone for Silas near the quarry. That weight on her shoulders is a little lighter.

Dylan and Ryan sit together on the last day of the summer, after all the new counsellors plus Abigail have left once more, and talk.

Dylan removes his prosthetic, allows himself to be vulnerable near Ryan, and asks about Kaitlyn. The jokes are gone and the awkwardness and flirting are too. They'd been avoiding this all summer.

Ryan tells him that he hadnt been ready for a relationship with neither of them when he was 18 and going to college. Now almost 25, and having spent another whole summer with Dylan, its different.

(Before this conversation Ryan talked to Abigail, got some advice, also talked to Kaitlyn and got some firmer advice and some scolding for being stupid and avoiding talking like adults do)

Dylan and Ryan figure out whats different, and its how they feel about each other. They establish they like each other, romantically, and Dylan talks about how disappointed he was when they reconnected after that last night long ago and Ryan acted like they hadnt gotten closer - like they hadnt kissed, protect and bled for each other, etc.

Ryan feels like an asshole.

Ryan isnt an asshole, so he apologises and offers an explanation.

Its not the best explanation, and not what Dylan wanted to hear, but its the truth and Dylan is happy with it.

Everyone, after that summer in Hackett's Quarry Summer Camp, had been traumatised and came out different than when they went in. Changed. Ryan had needed time, and Dylan was patient enough.

Max steps out just as they kiss, holding four mugs of hot cocoa he'd made in celebration, swiftly does a three sixty and heads back to Laura in the kitchen grabbing some snacks (they'd planned to watch that stupid short film before Dylan had to go, and share some stories or whatever)

"You owe me fifty bucks." He tells Laura.

Re-upload as a separate post instead of a reblog. Might add more later :)

[sunset-bobby]

I know I shouldn't, but when people come at Bobby I take it personally. I get it if they don't particularly like him, it's fair. But the hate? He is clearly not the villain of the show. Caleb is. Period. And that is not to say that what he did is okay. But the first time we see him, he's just a kid who's about to lose his best friends, his family. And the second time, he's a clearly traumatised adult who has to go therapy, still haunted by the past in more ways that we can imagine. And if people don't want to put themselves in his adult shoes, that's perfectly fine. But how can they look at 17 year old Bobby and not feel a sharp pain in their chest?

I lost a dear friend quite suddenly in a tragic way around the time the show came out. He wasn't much older than the boys. The pain, the sadness, even the guilt... You expect it. It's excruciating, but you're supposed to feel it. What you don't see coming is the anger. The feeling of betrayal. And a thousand more conflicting emotions that don't have a name carve a hole in your chest so deep that you feel like you can't breathe. But you can, and that's the most alienating part. Because you swear that this is what dying is supposed to feel like, expect you're not dying and the pain is not subsiding.

So my question is: how can people, in good conscience, hate him? Do they not realise that something like this changes you forever? A 17 year old boy who lost his friends and had to deal with the consequences. Three boys who had so much to offer, who deserved so much and who desperately needed a way out of their miserable home lives only to die moments before their new life was supposed to start. Bobby's chosen family had suddenly ceased to exist. And if people don't get it, I don't know what to tell them. I sincerely hope that no one will have to go through what Bobby went through that night (and every night after that for the rest of his life). I just wish people abstained from talking about it if they don't have something good to say. The world would be a much easier place to live in if we could blame a single person for our sorrows, but life's more complicated than that. There are far more important things than finding the culprit because most times there simply isn't one, and that's not even the hardest thing to wrap your head around. I wish people people on this site (and social media in general) realised that these things do happen in real life.

Sorry for the rant, this wasn't meant for you, I know you love Bobby, but the people spewing hate need a strong dose of the real world. They're lucky if they haven't experienced something like this.

Can I just say I am so sorry for your loss, and if you need to rant I'll listen :) I completely understand why you take it personally. I mean I find comfort in Bobby and people hating on him makes me sad, and I get it. Some characters aren't for everyone. All characters get slander (except for Julie which as she should). I think that there is a sense of looking past canon emotionally that some people can't do.

My Bobby is kind of like Alex with more confidence, but less self esteem, who is 17 and grieving and wants to play but can't, and I get that's not everyone's Bobby but it's mine.

This does happen in real life, and idk anon, people are weird. I hope you have a nice day, and again I'm sorry for your loss.

[hexensalbei]

“Weʼve made a horrible mistake”, Buck says when Eddie hands him over new bottle of beer. Diaz doesnʼt even have to look up or turn around to know what Buckʼs been talking about. Or rather who.

“Youʼre absolutely right. Theyʼre up to something. Definitely nothing good”, he sighs heavily and his eyes finally land on the three women sitting on the couch and talking about something very vigorously. “They looked at me when I went to the kitchen. And now theyʼre looking at us. Again.”

“We shouldnʼt have let them meet. Like ever”, Buck agrees. He has a strong feeling that it will bite them in the ass. Very soon. In this moment, Sophia looks at them with a grin on her face and Eddie just groans.

“Theyʼre scheming. I know the look and I shouldʼve predicted this because my sisters are always meddling. Although I didnʼt expect Maddie to be so eager to join them”, he adds and thereʼs a hint of accusation in his voice.

“You clearly donʼt know her that well. Believe me, that nice girl look is just a facade. Sheʼs horrible”, Buck declares and then laughs at his friend's horrified expression.

“You mean she's even worse than you?” asks Eddie playfully after a while.

“You are so sleeping on the couch tonight, Diaz”, Buck deadpans, elbowing him lightly. Heʼs not really offended; he likes to bicker with him and theyʼre both in very good mood. Theyʼre at the party at Grant-Nash house, surrounded by friends and they can truly enjoy their night off.

“It kinda implies that weʼre sleeping together in one bed so we should work on that first. And then you can kick me off to the couch”, Eddie winks at him and grins.

They hear someoneʼs gagging (most likely to be Chim) and Henʼs muttering Lord help me from behind but they don't really pay attention to it. Theyʼre only focused on each other now, which happens fairly often when they get carried away with the flirting. Recently, it got even more shameless—and, god, they love to tease each other and make innuendos. Eddie loves how easy and natural it is—he was never a cocky playboy type and flirting wasnʼt his best skills. But with Buck... He just canʼt help himself. Not if his best friend responds the way he does.

“So...”, Eddie says and his eyes travel to Buckʼs lips who wets them unintentionally. He fights the urge to capture them with his mouth because Buckʼs his best friend and he canʼt kiss him in the room full of people. Not that he can kiss him when theyʼre alone.

Someone clears throat loudly and the tension is broken. Eddie blinks and looks around—he feels quite embarrassed because once again he let himself fantasise about Buck—and he meets Maddieʼs very knowing smirk. He hopes he doesnʼt have his feelings written all over his face and she didnʼt pick them up.

“Iʼm going to the bathroom”, announces Buck suddenly and he gets up suspiciously quickly and practically runs away to the place.

Eddie wonders if he should go after him. He wants to; heʼs not sure how it would end. He doesnʼt even have the time to decide because his sisters got up and theyʼre going in his direction.

“Whereʼs your loverboy?”, asks Sophia, nudging him softly to move a little bit to make more room for her and Adriana.

“He, uh, went to the bathroom”, Eddie rubs off his neck; he still feels embarrassed and heʼs sure that if he was pale, his cheeks would have been red as Adrianaʼs dress sheʼs wearing tonight.

“I hope he will come back quickly, I havenʼt got a chance to talk with him yet” says Adriana, “although I think Maddie will be my new favourite Buckley.”

“I wonder why”, Eddie snorts and looks around to find Buckʼs sister but thereʼs no sign of her and he suspects she went off to see her brother. “You three were plotting, werenʼt you?”

“Thatʼs very serious accusation, Eddie. Iʼd be very careful with making any. You donʼt know what can we do in revenge”. Sophiaʼs voice is amused, teasing; almost as usually. But Eddie knows Diaz women too well and he picks up something more, something he canʼt even name yet.

“We were just making friends”, adds Adriana and she shrugs her arms. “I am really glad I got to meet your coworkers. Theyʼre wonderful people. And Buck has an amazing sister.”

“Yeah, Maddieʼs great”, agrees Eddie. He realises, heʼs quite close to both of Buckley siblings—despite what Buck says—because he spends with them most of his free time. Obviously, Buckʼs his favourite but Maddie has slowly become his third sister. And Christopher adores her almost as much as her brother. Buckleys have that effect on people, he thinks with fondness. He seriously has no idea what would he do without them. Theyʼre really making his life better in many ways. He drifted away with his thoughts so he tries to focus on conversation heʼs in. “Although I wish you wouldnʼt try to convince her to join you with your evil plans.”

Both Sophia and Adriana laugh, looking at his brother with very amused, almost identical expression.

“Oh Edmundo, whereʼs your trust? Why are you always assume weʼre plotting?”, asks Sophia very innocently.

“Or that we are the oneʼs to convince Maddie to do the bad things. Have you thought maybe itʼs the other way around?”, adds Adriana.

She has a point, though, but Eddie doesnʼt want to believe them. Maddie has to be less evil than his sisters. He still hasnʼt figured out yet why were they scheming or whoʼs gonna be their next victim but he has a hunch.

Thankfully, he spots Buckʼs coming back which saves him from replying to his sisters. His best friend still looks slightly embarrassed; the tips of his ears are red and it piques Eddieʼs interest. Then, he notices Maddieʼs right behind him and she looks very pleased. Both Buckleys stop by the couch Diaz siblings are sitting at.

“Eddie, would you mind drive Buck to his apartment? Heʼs not feeling that well and I donʼt want him go alone”, Maddie asks. Buck rolls his eyes and he looks mildly irritated now.

“I donʼt feel bad”, he scoffs. “And Iʼm an adult, I can go back to my home alone.”

“Itʼs not a problem”, reassures him Eddie, getting up from the couch. Itʼs true; helping Buck is never a problem. Plus, itʼs very good excuse to talk to him alone. Somewhere when his sisters wouldnʼt eavesdrop. Or their coworkers. “Letʼs go. Addie, Soph, Iʼll come back and take you home too.”

“Oh, no need. Weʼll get an Uber”, Adriana says and Eddie only nods.

He goes to Bobby and Athena to say goodbye and then shoots a look in Buckʼs direction. The blonde follows him quietly and Eddie really wants to know why his mood changed that quickly.

They step outside; itʼs a warm, cloudless night—perfect for romantic dates including stargazing.

“Are you OK?”, asks Eddie when theyʼre in Eddieʼs truck. His voice is filled with concern and he tries to read his friendʼs mind but he doesnʼt even look up.

“Iʼm fine”, Buck mumbles, his eyes still focused on his knees as if there was something more interesting to observe than look into Eddieʼs eyes.

“Youʼre not. Something has happened when you went to the bathroom, I know it. Was it Maddie? Did she tell you something?”, Eddie doesnʼt buy this shit and heʼs determined to find out the truth. “Buck”, he pats his knee gently. “What did she say?”

“Itʼs—uhm—itʼs not really that awful. She...”, Buck bites his tongue but eventually, he decides to go on and he looks at Eddie. “She was just teasing me too much and I got annoyed.”

“My awful sisters probably encouraged her to annoy you a little bit”, admits Eddie and then smiles at his best friend. “At least she has let you go and now you can do whatever you want. You wanna go with me? Christopherʼs probably asleep but I have your favourite beer. And you can crash on my couch.”

Eddieʼs invitation is very spontaneous; he didnʼt plan to spend the rest of evening with Buck but if thereʼs a chance to even just watch movie with him and then go to sleep, heʼll gladly take it.

“Deal.” Buckʼs response is almost immediate and his grin is almost blinding.

—☾—

Buckley-Diaz sisters grand scheme reminds about itself when Eddie gets an invitation to his sisters in El Paso. Heʼs not the only one, though. Buck and Maddie also are invited.

“Why would they invite both me and Maddie? Maddie already said yes, she takes Joy and Chim with us”, complains Buck when theyʼre cleaning firetruck on the shift. “Anyway, are you OK with me and Maddie visiting your family?”

“Why would I be not OK with it? Itʼs not like you donʼt know them already. My parents will be thrilled to see you”, says Eddie. “And Iʼm glad youʼll be here. At least I wonʼt have to face Sophia, Adriana and Maddie alone. You have to suffer with me”, he adds and winks at his best friend.

He knows this invitation has something to do with the party at Grant-Nash house when their sisters have met. And that both Sophia and Adriana have some wicked ideas involving him and Buck probably too but he still wants Buck by his side.

“Great, so Iʼm only there to be traumatised by your sisters instead of you?”, jokes Buck and kicks Eddie in the shin.

“Ow, that hurts, Buckley!”, Eddie hisses and still smiles despite the pain.

“Quit pulling pigtails, dinnerʼs almost ready”, they hear Chimʼs voice from above and they immediately raise their heads.

“Fine, weʼre going”, sighs Eddie and waits until Chimʼs gone to look at Buck. “Seriously, Iʼm glad they invited you too. I mean, we have to be careful but I still think itʼll be nice weekend.”

—☾—

Itʼs nice indeed. Drive to El Paso was long and exhausting but theyʼve managed to survive without serious injuries (although Joy really tried to make them deaf and she only felt asleep in Buckʼs arms). Sophia and Adriana welcomed them with a huge smiles and amazing food. Theyʼve decided to put Maddie with Chim and Joy in Adrianaʼs house to sleep and Buck wouldʼve slept with Eddie and Chris in Sophiaʼs house. And now, theyʼre just hanging out. Itʼs late and all kids are already asleep (Addieʼs husband offered to take care of them, even Joy) so adults can let themselves loosen up a little bit.

“So who wants to play Truth or Dare?”, asks Sophia, nursing bottle of beer in her hands. Sheʼs already slightly drunk, just as the rest of them—minus Maddie whoʼs feeding the baby so she prefers not to have alcohol in her bloodstream.

“Oh, Iʼm definitely in”, says Chimney, raising his hand up as if he wants to make sure everyone heard him.

“And so am I. I used to play it in high school before I met Doug and I kinda forgot how to have proper fun”. Thereʼs hint of nostalgia in Maddieʼa voice but she smiles brightly anyway. Adriana says yes and Buck replies me too without even thinking.

Itʼs Eddie who hesitates. Oh, heʼs definitely having fun and he appreciates that his sisters made it happen. Itʼs just—

He noticed earlier how Maddie disappeared with his sisters and they were back after half of an hour and they kept talking in a hushed voices whenever they saw him or Buck. Which is very suspicious; not to mention that Sophia and Adriana have been teasing him about his feelings for Buck even more in the past weeks. He hasnʼt told them but theyʼre not stupid and he hasnʼt been exactly subtle when it comes to showing affection to Buck. Heʼs afraid that they might say something stupid, something that Buck will figure out. And he doesnʼt want it—heʼs okay with them being only friends—anything that doesnʼt ruin what theyʼve already built.

“Iʼll pass”, he finally says and heʼs met with five disappointed gazes. They can be disappointed now but they will forget about it as soon as they sober up, right?

“Iʼve never pegged you as a coward.”

Of course itʼs Buck who says this sentence. Eddie looks at him and regrets it. Buckʼs smirking and thereʼs challenge in his eyes. Eddie knows this look by now because itʼs not the first time Buck makes him do something stupid and reckless.

“Fine, Iʼm in”, he lets out a heavy sigh and rolls his eyes. He really needs to learn how to not take a bait from Buckley.

“Excellent!”, sings Sophia and the game begins.

—☾—

One hour later theyʼre more drunk and very, very giggly. Questions and tasks get more crazy and hilarious—but they donʼt back off and do everything with a smiles on their faces. Eddieʼs now sure he was completely wrong about the scheme until he decides to take dare instead of truth and itʼs Sophiaʼs turn to come up with the task.

“I dare you to... Kiss Buck!”

Eddie almost drops his bottle of beer. He mustʼve misheard this, right? Thereʼs no way Sophia wouldʼve done this. He looks at her and she doesnʼt shy away. “Should I repeat the dare?”, she asks instead, making very innocent face.

“No” comes out of his mouth and heʼs surprised how hoarse his voice is.

“Soph, I donʼt think this is a good idea”, he hears Buckʼs voice but he doesnʼt register the words. Then Buck turns around to face him and his eyes are filled with worry and concern but thereʼs something else. Maybe hope? Eddie doesnʼt know how to name it. “If youʼre not comfortable with it, then donʼt do it”, Buck says quietly.

“Are you? I mean, not comfortable?”, Eddie manages only to whisper. They donʼt notice that rest of their group is so quiet like theyʼre not even here. Once again theyʼre only focused on each other; somehow theyʼre so close to each other thereʼs barely a free space between them.

“I donʼt think Iʼd ever be uncomfortable with you kissing me”, Buck simply states and itʼs everything Eddie needs to hear. He closes the space between them and kisses him. Firstly, itʼs very tentative—like Eddieʼs still not sure if itʼs the things his best friend wants. But Buck isnʼt the one to chicken out. He grabs him by the collar of his shirt and brings him closer as he deepens the kiss. It quickly becomes more heated—Eddie moans softly when Buck slides his tongue into his mouth. Buck pushes him slightly to be able to straddle him and they accidentally roll over abandoned beer bottle.

They break apart laughing and they finally notice that thereʼs nobody but them in the living room.

“Uh, when did they go out?”, asks Buck and Eddieʼs in awe when he sees his disheveled hair, swollen lips and pink-tinted cheeks. Itʼs amazing look on him, he thinks.

“I donʼt care”, he says and grins mischievously. “Maybe our sisters were right to meddle because Iʼm pretty sure that was their intention.”

“Thank God they did that because you would never kiss, wouldnʼt you?”, mocks Buck but heʼs quickly silenced by another kiss.

Maybe sometimes having sisters isnʼt that bad.

Find it on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30619118

[holyhellpod]

4. Fambily

In this episode, we skim the surface of the fambily dynamics in Supernatural, which are--ah. Dicey at best. 

Apple | Spotify | Google

Transcript under the cut!

Content warnings: domestic violence and family abuse

[Growl]

Ah, the Winchesters. Where do we even start. Unhinged, deranged, and continually traumatised in every way, Sam and Dean complete each other. At least, that’s what the show wants us to think. Despite the ways they betray each other, lie to each other, and  piss each other off, they are fambily. And fambily is the most important thing. The concept of Fambily in the show Supernatural (2005-2020) takes many twists and turns throughout its run. In the first five minutes of episode one, the heteronormative, nuclear family of John, Mary, Sam and Dean is ripped apart by an unknown, antagonistic force that represents all the evil in the world. It creeps into a nursery and eviscerates a white, blonde mother while preying upon a 👶, I mean, how much more evil can you get? It’s fantastic that, in the later seasons especially, Supernatural embraces this idea that fambily doesn’t end in blood, but blood doesn’t always mean fambily. By the end of the series, the fambily concept has expanded to include two dads, an aunt and uncle, and a thirty-year old infant. I’m going to talk about the finale in its own episode, so that my ire will have its proper outlet. 

When the show starts, Sam, Dean and John have each other, and only each other. By the time season 2 really kicks off, Sam and Dean don’t have John anymore, but they do have Bobby Singer. The concept of the triumvirate follows them throughout the series as though they’re in a less sexy Italo Calvino novel—first Sam, Dean and John, then Sam, Dean and Bobby, then Sam, Dean and Ruby, then Sam, Dean and Cas, then Sam, Dean and Mary, then Sam, Dean and Jack. It’s broken in seasons 13-15 when Cas comes back and they have a family of four, and then five when Mary can stand to see her boys.  

But the Winchesters are not the only fambily in Supernatural who matter. In season two, we’re introduced to the Harvelles, mother Ellen and daughter Jo, who are a hunting fambily who run a hunter pub in the middle of whoop whoop. A pub that Eric Kripke famously hated, and rejoiced when he burnt it down at the end of season 2, because the Winchesters and by extension everyone they know aren’t allowed to have anything good ever. It’s revealed in season two episode “No Exit” that John got Jo’s father killed on a hunt, which obviously affects Jo more than it does Sam and Dean. 

[Editing note:] Okay I’m editing this episode, and I’m not happy with it. I’m not going to scrap it completely because I think I do have good points to say, but the general analysis of this episode is so surface level. It is basically contributing nothing to the conversation. And I started this podcast in order to actually contribute something to the culture. I could make a bunch of text posts on tumblr or I could spend hours and hours and hours and hours of my life to something that — I don’t know. Is it bringing me joy? Not at the moment. But, yeah. So I’m not going to scrap this episode completely but this is my way of saying from now on the episodes are going to take as much as they will take and I will commit myself to having deeper and more thoughtful analysis. And if I have to spend an entire episode on one aspect of one thing, I will. I could be at university right now studying a masters or a PhD in fucking literary analysis but instead I’m sitting on my bed making a Supernatural podcast because it brings me joy. It does. It really makes me happy and I don’t want to abandon this project, because people are listening to it. I don’t know why, I don’t know what you like it about it, but you’re listening. And I just think I owe it to myself to make things that I support 100%. So I’ll continue this episode and hopefully this rambling hasn’t put you off it completely. But from now on, I’m going to really, really talk about things that matter in regards to Supernatural… Kind of an oxymoron. Kind of a contradiction. But things that contribute to the cultural consciousness instead of just rehashing the road so far. That’s all I want to do. I want to contribute. I want to say good…ful things. Okay this is making me happy. It’s already working, it’s already making me happy. I’m just going to keep rambling and laughing. Okay so, more thoughtful analysis, deeper analysis. Things that make you think. Things that make me think. Instead of just a bunch of words that mean nothing. Okay, continuing on.

Okay to figure out which episode this was I had to watch a little bit of season two, and I’m still on my season 13 rewatch. The difference between the two seasons. I don’t know if I can even put into words the growth this show has gone through, and the characters have gone through, over the last 15 years. It would be like summarising my own growth by combing through my extensive diary collection and the years of societally- and governmentally-enforced heterosexuality that has plagued my entire life. Those boys are babies in season two. The bootcut jeans alone. Sam is literally 23 years old. I don’t even talk to 23 year olds. I block them on social media.  

The Harvelles are a blip in the Winchester map. While the actors Samantha Ferris and Chad Lindberg did attempt to resuscitate their cultural currency months after the show ended by participating in an event — okay I can’t. I can’t even go into it. Like, clearly Samantha Ferris heard back from her representation as soon as she started posting those tweets and realised she wouldn’t continue to get money if she endorsed, well, the gays. And Chad Lindberg was just using the clout to push his Etsy wares like a 14th century merchant, so I gotta respect the hustle. But Jo and Ellen die in season 5 episode “Abandon All Hope” and are barely mentioned again except the episode Ash appears in, season 5 “Dark side of the moon,” Jo in season 7, “Defending Your Life,” and Ellen in the season 6 episode “My heart will go on.” They didn’t exactly leave what you would call a lasting impact for the next, you know, ten seasons. 

To be honest, I’m not sure when it’s revealed that Bobby’s wife died after being possessed by a demon. It’s made clear in season 5 “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid,” and I did not have to look that up, because season four and five are burned into my retinas like a particularly nasty sun flare. Bobby outlines the horrific way he killed his wife, because why not throw some spousal violence into the mix, and later in season 7 “Death’s Door,” it elaborates on their life together. I saw this sentiment expressed on TikTok, which we all know as the foundation of cultural knowledge, which was that fambilies don’t need to be two parents and children. Fambilies can be spouses or partners. You don’t need to have children in order to be a fambily. I think that’s a very nice sentiment and I’ve chosen to adopt it for these purposes. Bobby and his wife Karen are a fambily. While Karen wants kids, Bobby chooses not to have them for fear of becoming like his father and repeating the trauma he inflicted on Bobby. Bobby and Karen’s fambily dynamic is ruptured in the same way that John and Mary’s is—by an intrusive, demonic force that brings Bobby into the hunting world and ends Karen’s life. But by the time we see him at the end of season 1, Bobby is already ingratiated into Sam and Dean’s lives as their surrogate father, and this bond only deepens as the show progresses. Bobby expresses the sentiment to Dean to not be like John, that Dean is already a better man that his father ever was. Isn’t that what we all want to hear? That we have superseded our parents and outgrown them in ways they could never comprehend? Don’t we just want to be better than the generations that came before us, in order to mould a better world for the generations that come after us? Don’t we want to make things easier for our children, and our friends’ children, and our siblings’ children? Dean is a better man than John, and Bobby is better man than his father ever was. It’s about breaking the cycles of intergenerational trauma. I have to believe that Sam, Dean and Bobby did this, because then it’s possible for me to do the same thing. Include here that speech about representation in media that I didn’t bother writing for the last episode. Bobby is the surrogate father to Sam and Dean, a better father than John was, a better hunter even. He crafts an entire network of hunters who report to him, as seen in the season 6 episode “Weekend at Bobby’s,” and he continues to act as Sam and Dean’s mentor until his death in season 7 “How to win friends and influence monsters”. An alternate universe version of Bobby is introduced in season 13, which I have my reservations about, and he and Mary get together, which again, why. Season 13 is so hard to sit through. 

A fambily that is introduced late into the series and is simply NOT given enough screen time is the Banes fambily. In season 12, “Celebrating the life of Asa Fox,” we are introduced to the Banes twins, Max and Alicia, who are by far the most gorgeous hunters we’ve seen in the series. They are hunters raised by a witch, Tasha Banes, who doesn’t appear yet, and they manage to survive the trial by fire that is overcoming the demon Jael. Later in this season, in the episode “Twigs and Twane and Tasha Banes,” both of which are written by the late great Steve Yockey, we are introduced to Tasha in a way that seems awfully familiar: Alicia calls Sam to say their mother has gone missing on a hunt, and hasn’t checked in in a few days. By the end of the episode, Alicia and Tasha are dead, and Max has ostensibly sold his soul for the power to bring Alicia back. The Banes twins’ storyline directly parallels Sam and Dean’s from the pilot, but it’s a tragedy from the outset. We already know Tasha is dead and they can’t save her, however, like Dean does for Sam at the end of season 2, Max chooses to save Alicia at the expense of his own soul. Spin off when. Banes twins series when. I’m waiting. They were in two episodes and I’m still thinking about them. The Harvelles are dust. 

In season 7, “Reading is Fundamental,” a waifish 17 year old honour’s student Kevin Tran breaks into a rehabilitation facility to steal a tablet. This starts a chain of events that ingratiates Kevin Tran in the apocalyptic, death-succumbing world of the Winchesters, starting with Dick Roman, head leviathan, and continuing, but not culminating, with his death at the hands of Gadreel, who was possessing Sam, it’s a whole thing. Any time you attempt to summarise anything on Supernatural, you sound like a lunatic. And I say that as someone who has a supernatural podcast, with an audience of only supernatural fans. We are lunatics, but we’re lunatics together. Kevin’s arc was cut way too short, but we at least got to see him with his momma Linda in the beginnings of season 8 with the unfortunately named episode “What’s up, Tiger Mommy?” It introduces Linda Tran as a capable and worldly woman, hell bent on protecting her son. She offers up her soul among other things in exchange for Kevin and the tablet with him. During the episode, she is possessed by Crowley, and Dean attempts to kill him, which would mean killing Linda as well. Kevin considers this the ultimate betrayal and leaves with his mum. Later in season 9 episode “Captives,” Linda is reintroduced as a captive of Crowley, who escapes with Sam’s help. Back at the bunker, she reunites with Kevin, who is now, thanks to the Winchesters’ incompetence, a ghost 👻. My macbook keeps suggesting little emojis in the smart bar so I just gotta put ‘em in. That’s the last we see of Linda, so I’m drawing my own conclusions about whether she gets to live a long and happy life. Kevin is a fan favourite and despite my reservations about Osric Chau which I will not get into like ever I really like Kevin too. He outsmarts Crowley many times and shows remarkable tenacity to get an impossible job done. His desire to see his mum again, the driving force behind his actions, mirrors Dean’s desperation to have his fambily together again like they used to be. I would call this a parallel but I don’t believe they purposefully did this, I just think they accidentally rehashed the same tired storyline they’ve been peddling since 2005. But yeah, if I was Kevin and all I had was my mum, seeing her again would be the driving force for my actions as well. Kevin’s father is never mentioned, and it honestly isn’t a big deal, which is great. Sometimes fathers are just absent, and you don’t need throw a hissy fit about it or make it your entire personality, Dean.

Missouri Moseley, played by the inimitable Loretta Devine, is introduced in the first season, episode “Home,” in which she helps out on a case involving Sam and Dean’s childhood house. We find out that Missouri is a long-time friend of John’s and helped him to understand that supernatural forces were behind Mary’s death. She is Sam and Dean’s first point of entry into the world of the Supernatural, and they didn’t know it until they meet her in “Home”. In season 13 episode “Patience,” another layer to Missouri’s character is added with the advent of her family: estranged son James and granddaughter Patience Turner, who is also a psychic. We get a lot of backstory for Missouri in this episode, even if it is sloppily written and contradictory to the way they initially set her up. If Missouri and James had been travelling when he was a child, why was she stationed in Lawrence in both 1983 and 2005? What did he mean that Missouri was hunting? I can’t be bothered unpacking the confusing bits of information presented in this episode. It’s not a good episode and I really don’t see why everyone goes apeshit for Bobo Berens. He kills Missouri in this episode, in a really horrible way. Like the history of Supernatural’s racism and misogyny should not be dumped on one man, but nor should it be perpetuated and it is continually throughout the entire show. Confusing, contradictory and badly written backstory aside, she is an interesting character, and her willingness to sacrifice herself to save her family echoes that of Mary in “Home”. I’m actually really mad that Patience never gets to have a relationship with Missouri, and later in season 13 episode “The Bad Place,” Patience’s father tells her that if she leaves to help The Winchesters and uses her psychic abilities, she’s not welcome back in his house. To me that’s just unnecessary. We have a family that has already been ruptured by the death of Patience’s mother, further ruptured by Patience’s father cutting off contact with Missouri, and then to go a step further he disintegrates their family unit by kicking Patience out. Like how much loss do the Moseley-Turners have to endure? It’s really just cruel at this point. But Patience does find family with Jodie, Donna, Claire, Alex and eventually Kaia, and while I love the concept of found family and this found family in particular, it comes at the expense of biological family, which is something that the show has pushed from the very first episode. So that’s evolution in itself. Going from “fambily is the most important thing to these characters” to “found fambily is where we find love” is great, but ripping apart a biological fambily like the Moseley-Turners, and indeed starting the episode by saying Missouri has been shunted out of her son and granddaughter’s lives for trying to bring her son comfort, is just fucked. Like, I couldn’t name a single Bobo episode that I actually like without having to comb through them. I’m trying really hard not to shit all over him because as a writer I know how much that sucks and I know how hard is it for any marginalised writers to get a start, but I’m allowed to have my vendettas. 

If you’ve watched the “Runs In The Family” angels MV from 2010, and only if you’ve watched the “Runs In The Family” angels MV from 2010, you will understand just how jacked up the angel family really is. The angelic counterpoint to Sam and Dean are the archangels Lucifer and Michael. We are introduced to two different versions of Michael—one in season 5, who possesses their dad in 1979 and their brother Adam in 2010—my god that was literally over a decade ago—and Apocalypse World Michael, played by four different actors: Felisha Terrell, Christian Keyes, Jensen Ackles, and Ruth Connell, who plays Rowena. I don’t know what in the hell Jensen Ackles was doing performance-wise when playing Michael, but I consider it a federal crime akin to drug trafficking or money laundering. As for Christian Keyes playing Michael, Andrew Dabb, you know what you did and you’re going to have to live with that.  

In season 5, during the apocalypse, Michael and Lucifer only interact in the last episode, “Swan Song,” but the entire season is built around their conflict. Lucifer disobeyed their father, and Michael as God’s most powerful weapon must defeat him. It’s meant to mirror Sam’s descent into, uhhhh, badness or something, disobeying John to run away to Stanford, or, like, drinking demon blood? It’s unclear. Lucifer and Apocalypse World Michael interact in season 13, and Michael kills Lucifer only to take over Dean’s body and start a season-long arc of, like, bad acting and barely thought-out plots. I would say to Jensen Ackles “don’t quit your day job,” but this is literally his day job. 

The angels as they’re introduced in season 4 are warriors of god, and all they know is obedience and killing. Even Cas can’t break out of the cycle of killing his angel siblings, and often justifies it by saying that it’s for the greater good, that he needs to do it to take down a stronger force like Raphael or Metatron. Anna manages to break free of her family by falling and becoming human, but when Cas betrays her and the angels capture her, she is lobotomised, tortured and sent back out to kill Sam. Then she’s burned to a crisp by Michael possessing John, not the last time a woman would burn to death on this show. The angels are dysfunctional at best, and actively hostile to each other, especially Castiel, the infamous spanner in the works. I could write an entire academic paper about how the angels think of Castiel as this rebel slut who murdered his way to the top and is going to be the downfall of angel kind, but Dean thinks of him as this little nerdy guy with a harp he carries around in his back pocket. Which honestly Cas would love because he’s obsessed with Dean and wants to touch his butt. I don’t know what else I can say about the angels without turning this into a dissertation, so I’ll continue on.

While all seasons of the show are about family, season six is especially about matrilineal family. It introduces the concept of the mother of monsters—Eve—and focuses on Mary as a solution to the loneliness the characters feel after her death. Samuel Campbell, Mary’s father, is brought back to life and manipulated by the promise of seeing his daughter again. He asks Sam and Dean what they wouldn’t do to see Mary again, which is kind of the general thesis of the show. What wouldn’t John, Dean and Sam do for each other? Dean sells his soul. John makes a deal with the demon who killed Mary. Sam teams up with Ruby to kill Lilith in revenge, which begins as a suicide mission because he doesn’t know how to handle his grief for Dean. The difference is that Samuel betrays Sam and Dean, his own grandchildren, for the promise of seeing Mary again. This cardinal sin alienates him from being a good guy, because good guys never betray Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean are our protagonists! Our heroes! The bringers of the light! The knights in shining armour! The white on rice. The cherry in cherry pie. They are the ones we’re meant to align ourselves with, because it’s their story the narrative is telling. And anyone who doesn’t align themselves with the Winchesters is an enemy who needs to be defeated.   

We’re introduced to the character of Gwen in the first episode of season 6, “Exile on Main Street”, and she says in the episode “Family Matters” that Samuel, the patriarch, doesn’t like her very much because she reminds him of Mary. While Samuel, Christian, Gwen and co are technically family, Dean has no connection to them past bloodlines. And as I said before, while family doesn’t end in blood, we learn throughout this season that blood doesn’t always mean family. Gwen dies in the episode “And Then There Were None,” because of course she does, and Mary doesn’t come back, at least not in this season. 

In “Family Matters,” the alpha vampire, played by the irreplaceable Rick Worthy, mentions that “we all have our mothers,” referring to Eve, the mother of monsters, the one who spawned every other monster and who has been trapped in purgatory ever since. Eve is pulled from Purgatory to wage war against the hunters and Crowley because they have been preying on her first borns, the alphas. I love Eve. I love her. She’s my favourite villain after Metatron. Mainly because I think she is like… sexy as hell. Like wow I am just so attracted to Julia Maxwell and this, like, bored smokey affect thing she does where she barely moves her mouth when she speaks and her strong brow makes her seem so intimidating. I don’t know anything about her personally, but I feel like she would’ve bullied me in high school, and I’m into it. It’s really hard to judge just from this one role whether she’s a good actor because Eve has such limited range and few things to do, but I really wish she’d gotten more screen time. Yeah, she’s doing the bare minimum and I’m completely obsessed. But Eve isn’t just a monster, she’s literally THEE milf. The original milf. And I really think she should’ve stayed around, but since they kept Lisa alive they had to kill at least one high profile woman. 

Continuing with the family storylines in season 6, Dean tries to establish a family with Lisa and Ben, and for the most part succeeds. He gets a job, plays the role of the doting boyfriend and stepfather, and protects them as best he can. I’m going to spare you the rant perched at the tip of my tongue about how this is at best a lavender marriage or staying together for the kid, and that Lisa only exists to be an ideal for Dean, not an actual partner he can grow with throughout the rest of the show. It’s his first attempt at a fambily outside of Sam, Bobby and John, and it fails miserably because Lisa isn’t a good match. The fact is, she will never be able to fit into the hunting world because of the way the writers wrote her—as mother and girlfriend archetype, and we’ve seen how well they do with those—in fact they actively paralleled it in “Exile on Main Street” where they had Dean hallucinate Azazel coming back and pinning Lisa to the ceiling. It couldn’t be more obvious that they don’t respect her. At least they didn’t fridge her for Dean’s man pain. It’s honestly horrible because Dean put so much effort into believing this was his one chance at happiness, and when it crumbles like a tim tam in hot tea he beats himself up for it and uses it as an excuse to never be happy. 

He does seem to be happy for the most part with Lisa, but because Sera Gamble doesn’t know how to write interesting or complex female characters, when Sam reenters the picture it once again becomes about the original premise: two brothers on the road, fighting the forces of evil. There’s no room for any women in that sphere. Up until this point I think—correct me if I’m wrong—there has been one female hunter who survived, and she was in one episode. The hunter Tamara in season 3 “The Magnificent Seven,” whose husband died in maybe the most sadistic way anyone has died on this show. Don’t rewatch it, just google it. All women die, including Mary, their mother, who is brought back in season 12 and killed in season 14. AND FOR WHAT? For WHAT Andrew Dabb.

Often, the loss of a parent, child or significant other is used to excuse bad behaviour and terrible choices. The hunting life causes Mary’s whole family to die before she can escape it, and because she makes a deal with Azazel for John’s life, the same demon John makes a deal with, Azazel kills her anyway. John abused his kids and brought them into the hunting life, because he was obsessed with getting revenge for Mary’s death. Sam does the same thing when Jess dies in the first season, and it starts a 15-season long arc of pain and misery. He sets Lucifer free in the season four because he is obsessed with getting revenge for Dean’s death and obsessed with the power drinking demon blood gives him. Then again, Sam is actually right for saving people by exorcising demons, which is literally the first part of the family business motto,  instead of just gutting them with the demon knife, but because Dean doesn’t agree with it, it’s bad. Sam always wants to do the right thing, he just gets a little caught up in the details. But you know what? Bloodfreak rights. 

When Cas dies in season 13, Dean is so overcome with grief, a grief that echoes John and Sam’s, that he mistreats Jack and threatens to kill him. In season 14, Nick, Lucifer’s vessel, boo snore hiss, kills everyone involved with the murder of his wife and child before he finds out that it’s actually Lucifer’s doing, and then he tries to raise Lucifer from the empty because he’s addicted to killing? Whatever, stop employing Mark Pellegrino. Stop writing men as obsessed with getting revenge 

The biological fambilies in Supernatural suck shit. Honestly every time I watch an episode about fambily I’m even more glad I don’t talk to mine. Dean and Sam need to spend some time away from each other, while they’re both still alive. Their fambily dynamic gets better as the show progresses, and I was pleased to see in season 12 that they do away with the codependency, constantly sacrificing themselves for each other, isolating themselves, betraying everyone they know for each other—they started to act like, you know, normal people. And that’s good. Sure, the show would not be anywhere without John sacrificing himself for Dean, and Dean sacrificing himself for Sam, and honestly that’s what made those first few seasons amazing. But after a while it becomes lazy writing, not parallels. A parallel that Supernatural pulled off is Sam comforting Magda in season 12 episode “The Survivor” in the way he needed to be comforted in season 1 and 2 as a psychic child. A parallel is Dean preparing Cas’s body for cremation in season 13  in counterpoint to the way Cas remade Dean’s body in season 4. This show can absolutely do parallels, some of the most beautiful parallels ever put on screen, but the last season was such lazy writing that I cannot forgive it. 

This has been an overall negative episode of Holy Hell, and that sucks. I don’t want to be so negative. I want to talk about the good things that Supernatural did, and share in joy with you all, so now I’m going to talk about the only positive I see with fambily in the entire show. 

For Dean, everyone older than him is a parent to disappoint, and everyone younger than him is a little sibling to protect. Cas is the exception, as there’s no way to define Dean and Cas’s relationship without acknowledging the reciprocal romantic ways they care about each other. Dean says on multiple occasions that Cas is like a brother to him, and that he’s Sam and Dean’s best friend. He actually drops the line, “After Sam and Bobby, you are the closest thing I have to family,” on Cas in season 6, and he acts like it’s nothing, but you can see in the expression on Cas’s face that Dean just recontextualised the entirety of Cas’s being in one sentence. Cas falls for Dean, gives up his family for Dean, and decides to follow him in the first act of free will we see on screen. And Dean, who has never known love without pain, says to Cas, you are fambily to me, I actively choose you, you belong in my life. But to belong in Dean’s life is to follow his plan, and when Cas doesn’t, he is punished for his hubris. Dean loves him, and he never even admits it.

Charlie becomes like a little sister to Dean, as does Jo. Jack is unequivocally Cas’s son, but becomes something of Dean’s son as well and some would argue Sam’s son. Claire becomes Cas’s daughter, but imprints so much on Dean that many, myself included, have come to consider Dean her father as well. If you subscribe to the idea that Dean and Cas are old marrieds, Dean would be Claire and Jack’s stepfather, and they would be a nuclear fambily all on their own. In season 14 “Lebanon,” when John says to Dean that he thought Dean would have settled down with a fambily, Dean says, “I have a fambily.” Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.

Cas chooses to be a part of Claire’s life in season 10 “The Things We Left Behind” because he feels guilty about what happened to her after he possessed Jimmy, but after getting to know Claire he cares for her. The crime that is Claire and Cas not interacting after season 10, my god. That’s his daughter, you ghouls. But Claire and Dean do get more moments together. Dean, Sam and some British guy save Claire from turning into a werewolf, and Claire and the rest of the Wayward Sisters save Sam and Dean from the Bad Place. The Wayward Sisters are a found fambily all on their own, and since I could devote an entire episode to Jody’s little brood, I have chosen not to talk about them much, because this episode is at least half an hour, 34 minutes, and it would take up too much of my time. Claire is one of my favourite characters and I’ll be talking about her in the next ep, so stay tuned for that. 

Even before Jack is born, Cas becomes his protector. He goes from trying to convince Kelly to end her and Jack’s life, to being her pseudo-husband and the surrogate father to her child. To me personally, it’s the best thing this show has ever done. Cas, Kelly and Jack love each other in a way that is so wholly uncomplicated, that is so pure and so good. Once Cas becomes Jack’s protector, there’s never any question of whether they would hurt or betray each other. He is Cas’s son, his baby boy, and he loves Cas so much that he resurrects Cas from the empty. When they meet for the first time in season 13 “Tombstone” after Cas comes back, they fit into each other’s lives so easily. This is the part in writing this where I was absolutely sobbing my dick off. There are so many moments between them that show the kind of love that each of these characters deserved. Sam and Dean deserve to have that love from their father, and so does Cas. And together they build a family unit around caring for Jack that does indeed end the intergenerational trauma that plagues the Winchester fambily.

And that’s why season 16 is so important to me. I can make things better. Dean sorts his shit out, all of his shit: his alcoholism, depression, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, suicidal ideation, sexuality, gender, the fact that Cas is literally the love of his life and he gets to save him from the Empty the way Cas saved him from Hell. They plant flowers in the field where Dean spread Cas’s ashes in season 13, and they get married at Jody’s cabin with all their loved ones left alive. Claire walks Cas down the aisle and Jack is the flower girl, because he’s literally a three year old baby. Sam and Eileen raise a bunch of rugrats and the Wayward fambily continue the hunting legacy and have a Sunday afternoon roast every week. Dean and Cas raise Jack right, they cut up oranges for soccer practice and watch all his school plays. He and his cousins grow up knowing what it’s like not only to be loved, but to be looked after, to have all their needs met. They grow up normal, and the trauma that plagued their family is a thing of the past. It’s good, you know? It’s just fucking good.

[dickspeightjrs]

Hope (2.2k words)

sequel to Despair (I’d recommend reading that first, it’s only short)

Chuck had been defeated.

Cas was still gone. 

Those were the thoughts going through Dean’s head since the day they managed to remove Chuck from the universe for good. 

As usual for Dean, he kept on a front for the sake of Sam and Jack. He showed his relief at Chuck finally being gone, but in the privacy of his own thoughts, he was overwhelmed with a fresh onslaught of despair. 

The day Chuck died, everyone who he had taken appeared outside the bunker. It seemed as if Chuck had been playing with them like toys and dropped them as he met his demise in the warded bunker dungeon. 

Dean, Sam and Jack had stepped outside the sheltered door of the bunker to find a sea of people going on for what seemed like miles. Many of them were strangers who were innocent to the reason for their disappearance. But peppered around were also their friends and family. 

Bobby. Charlie. Donna. So many more. 

Only, as he scanned through the array of faces, Dean couldn’t help but be more and more disappointed that Castiel wasn’t among them. Why would he be? His death wasn’t anything to do with Chuck. Though it didn’t stop Dean hoping. 

It was a few days until everything settled again. 

The boys helped people return to their homes and tried to give them an explanation that wouldn’t be too traumatising. Sam had led the way - he seemed born for it, being a leader. His soft demeanour despite his towering height made people warm to him. Especially compared to Dean’s stormy face and body language. 

Jack still stayed quiet most of the time. Poor kid was taking Castiel’s death hard. Dean honestly regretted being so tough on him at times. He regretted saying Jack wasn’t family. He was. Of course he was. Castiel loved Jack like a son and that made Dean love him now too. 

There were times during the busyness of the bunker that Dean and Jack’s eyes would meet and he’d give Dean a look that told him that he was thinking of Cas too. That he missed him too. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the people inhabiting the bunker were gone and it was left in a more calming silence. 

Donna and Charlie had just left together, both giving Dean an extra hard squeeze as they said goodbye. He knew what the hug was for and he was grateful neither of them had brought up Cas while they’d been there. Dean didn’t know how he would have reacted. 

Once the two women were out of sight, Dean hunched even further into himself and mumbled to Sam that he was going to bed. He didn’t care that it was the middle of the day. He was exhausted and needed refuge from his thoughts. 

Sam responded with a look of shock, which Dean wasn’t surprised by. Dean hadn’t slept properly - as properly as a hunter could anyway - since Cas died. Instead, he’d fall asleep in the library while he’d been looking through lore books. 

(Sam and Jack thought he’d been helping to look for ways to bring down Chuck but he’d actually been looking up anything that might even slightly mention the Empty. He’d thought he’d been secret about it until one day he woke up to find a new book on the table next to him, open to a chapter on a possible way to summon the Empty. Dean didn’t know who put it there, Sam or Jack, but he was grateful for their quiet support.) 

Dean trudged tiredly to his room. Truthfully, he’d been avoiding it ever since Cas died. It wasn’t even like they’d spent much time in there together but he couldn’t handle being alone in a space that was meant to bring him joy and comfort knowing that he’d never see Cas again. 

He’d never had the chance to feel the angel lying next to him and yet he missed it with his entire being. 

Dean’s head ached with a consistent, dull pain. It had been constant since he’d started visiting the woods to speak to Cas. He’d only been back there a couple of times but the night before they killed Chuck, Dean had vowed to Cas that he’d do it and get it right this time. He still looked around for any sign that Cas had heard him but there was nothing. Only the beginnings of a throbbing headache. 

Blinking slowly and shaking his head slightly to try to relieve the pain, Dean finally collapsed onto the bed and let sleep take him. 

Sleep started as a dreamless slumber but, at some point in the night, he felt that same pain again like a punch through his brain. It woke him up, panting and sweating, but when he sat up the pain was gone. And with no memory of what he could have been dreaming about, Dean lay there fighting the spindled fingers of sleep around his mind, determined that he’d never sleep again if it meant not having to feel that pain. 

Of course, it was impossible to maintain having no sleep, even for Dean Winchester - King of sleep deprivation. 

The minute Dean fell into a deep sleep he would be shocked back awake with a burning pain in his head. 

This continued for almost a week after Chuck’s death. Until one night, when Dean shot up in bed, sweat cooling on his skin, he remembered. 

He’d dreamt about the woodland clearing he’d been buried in when Cas had returned him from hell. The dream felt so real it was like he could smell, touch, taste the Earth around him as he ripped himself from the ground. 

Cursing his mind for adding to his never-ending torture, Dean left his room and got himself some coffee from the kitchen - determined not to let himself fall asleep again until he absolutely had to. 

Dean reached his breaking point a few days later. 

He’d been tired and irritable, snapping at Sam and Jack whenever they so much as looked at him. Knowing he couldn’t continue living like this, he let sleep take him once more, bracing himself for the inevitable pain. 

The pain came, but not before Dean saw fleeting images of the woodland again. Only this time, it was like he was a bird flying high above and he could see fallen tree trunks arranged in almost perfect circles. And in the centre was a figure, a person, hunched over on bent knees as if they were praying. 

The person moved to stand on their feet and as they were about to turn a white, burning heat coursed through Dean’s head. 

The pain didn’t shock Dean anymore but the recurring image of the hunched figure replayed in his mind. 

Dean thought what he’d been seeing in his dreams had been disjointed memories of the time he pulled himself out of that grave. But it couldn’t have been. There was never anyone else there when he’d risen to the surface. He’d walked for miles with no soul in sight. 

So who was this hunched figure? Why was Dean dreaming of them? 

And why was every fibre of Dean’s being telling him to get in his car and drive all night until he reached that very spot? 

Taking a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, Dean climbed out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen. 

When he arrived he was surprised to see Sam sitting at the table with a pot of coffee, freshly brewed if the rolling steam coming off it was anything to go by. 

“What’re you doing here, Sammy?” Dean asked, taking a seat opposite his brother. 

Sam pushed a cup of coffee towards Dean. “Waiting for you.” 

“Okay… trying not to be creeped out that you’re sat waiting for me in the kitchen at 3AM…” Dean replied. 

Sam rolled his eyes. “I wanted to talk to you. You’ve been avoiding me and Jack for weeks now. And I noticed you come in here at night sometimes. So I took a chance tonight.” 

Curse his brother for knowing him so well.  

“I don’t know what to tell you, man.” Dean shrugged.

“How about the truth?”

Ha. There was no way Dean was ever telling Sam the truth. If nothing else, Cas deserved to be the first person Dean told about his feelings. And if he never got the chance to do that, well, the secret would die with Dean. 

But Dean really did want Sam’s opinion on the dreams he’d been having. Telling Sam about the dreams didn’t count as telling him the whole truth, did it? 

Dean cleared his throat. “I’ve been having these… dreams, I guess.” He sighed. “I just keep seeing the forest where Cas left me when he raised me from hell. But it’s not a memory because it’s like I'm seeing it from above and there’s this person there.” 

Sam nodded, encouraging Dean to continue. 

“I don’t know if I’m just going crazy but it feels real. Like something deep inside me is telling me that this is important.” Dean avoided Sam’s gaze. “And I get these pains in my head, it’s fucking agony.” 

After a few moments of silence, Dean raised his head to meet Sam’s eyes. 

They held nothing but warmth for his older brother. 

“Look, Dean, I know you haven’t told me and Jack the whole truth of what happened when Cas d-, when he left, but I know more than anyone what it’s like to lose someone you love.” 

Dean felt all the blood in his body rush to his face.

“Come on, Dean. You can’t be surprised that I know how you feel about Cas. Anyone who has ever seen you two together knows that you’d tear apart the Earth for each other.” Sam stated, simply.

Suddenly, Dean felt like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t deal with this knowledge that apparently everyone had known about his and Cas’ mutual feelings before they even did. 

He got up from the table and stalked to the door, trying to stop his hands from shaking. 

Sam just let him go but just as Dean was about to escape to the quiet of his room, he spoke up. 

“Dean?” Sam asked, waiting for Dean’s attention to turn back on him. “Those dreams you’ve been having? I don’t know if it’s the same but I just know that I thought the visions I had of Jess were just dreams and I’d hate for you to make the same mistakes I did.” 

Dean swallowed and nodded once at Sam before exiting to his bedroom. 

Within the hour he was hurtling along the highway in the Impala. 

*  *  * 

Dean’s skin tingled with electricity as he approached the clearing. He hadn’t been back here since that day all those years ago. 

He didn’t know what he hoped to find. For the entire journey there, he’d second guessed himself a million times but ultimately he had to know. 

He had to know if he was simply going crazy or if this was some kind of sign of something else at work. 

Finally, he made it to the large expanse of fallen trees. The electricity running through his veins increased as he spotted a figure sat in the dead centre, curled in on itself. 

His heart raced to a speed he would surely die from but Dean kept carefully placing one slow foot in front of the other. 

Until he heard a crack under his foot. 

He looked down to see that he’d stepped on a twig, which snapped under the pressure, sending a ripple of sound across the clearing. 

The hunched figure went ramrod straight where they were. 

Dean swallowed and continued walking ahead. 

Only, he was stopped in his tracks when the figure turned, a slow agonising turn. 

Dean felt sick. He’d come this far thinking, hoping, praying that this would somehow be something that led him back to Cas. But what if he had come all this way only to be disappointed? He didn’t think he could handle the heartbreak. 

Taking a deep breath, Dean closed his eyes and stayed rooted to the spot. 

“Dean?” 

Dean felt euphoria storm through his every atom. 

He opened his eyes and was met with the sight of Castiel, angel of the lord, standing in the middle of fallen trees, staring back at Dean like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. 

Wasting no more time, Dean broke into a sprint, running faster than he was sure he’d ever done before. 

Self-doubt tried to battle its way through, telling him that this was a trick. Castiel couldn’t possibly be back. But he ignored it. 

Dean could have been running into the arms of a devil in disguise and he’d still do it just to have one second in Castiel’s embrace. 

When he reached Cas he pulled the angel as close to his body as could be physically possible. 

“Dean.” Castiel spoke again. And, god, Dean could have cried hearing his name come from the lips of his beloved once again. “Dean. I’m sorry.”

“Cas,” Dean interrupted, still holding Cas tight in his arms. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.” 

“I just didn’t know what else to do.” Castiel sobbed against Dean’s shoulder.

“I don’t care. I don’t care.” Dean said, sternly, gripping Castiel against him. “I could barely let myself hope that those dreams were you, Cas. You have no idea how fucking happy I am right now.” 

Castiel pulled away from Dean slightly to look him in the eyes. “I couldn’t find any other way to find you Dean. I wasn’t even sure you’d still be alive. I used the last of my powers to project myself into you. I didn’t truly know if it would work but I hoped.” Tears poured down his face. “Coming back here was the only place I knew that you’d recognise was ours.”

“It’s okay, Cas. It’s okay. I’m here now. And neither of us are going anywhere without the other again.”

Castiel nodded and smiled, placing a delicate hand to Dean’s cheek. “Is it too much to hope that this means I was wrong, and you do actually return my feelings?” 

A laugh ripped through Dean in a way that it hadn’t in years, even before Cas had been taken by the empty. “Castiel, angel of the lord, ever since you saved me from hell, I’ve never been the same. You changed me. And I am hopelessly and completely in love with you.” 

Not letting a second more go to waste, Dean didn’t wait for a response from Cas. He pulled the angel into a deep kiss that he hoped told Castiel everything that there weren’t enough words in the world to say. 

(Tag list below - if you’d like to be added or removed, let me know!)

@rambleoncas @eccentriccas @joharvele @tearsofgrace @starrynightdeancas @aurastiel @dreamnovak @good-things-do-happen-dean @ccstiel @destielle @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @bend-me-shape-me

@thechaosthatismybrain @rusted-peopleskills @castiel-enthusiast @wheniwrite28 @fandomsofafeather @ripreptaytion @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @writtenmemxries @gum-believable @breathingdestiel @squintingg

@thefourthheadofcerberus @professorerudite @harmonyhelms @babyinabelstaf @monipotty @tinyroolove7

[ao3gingerswag]

another little idea I had was one day something in the inn breaks, so much so that bobby, who the boys asked for help (or more likely, bobby noticed it and grumbled before immediately grabbing his toolkit bc darnit if he's gonna make these kids pay for something he can repair himself). But, it turns out that bobby can't fix it either, so instead he calls in a favour from a friend..... benny! so benny comes in - I can imagine him as a blacksmith maybe? or a lumberjack, which I think makes more sense - and that's how he's introduced. except, there's a problem bc poor traumatised dean all of the sudden sees a big, hulking man with an axe entering the inn (perhaps not having warning) and then it's a whole angsty thing. but in the end, benny and dean eventually bond once the angst is over and its a step for deans healing as he is able to talk to a man, potentially, and also maybe benny teaches him a thing or too about woodwork (carving?) that dean ends up really liking :)

oooooh i like this. i love benny so much i so def want him to appear at some point. i thought about maybe having him be the nice man who steered dean back downstairs and to cas when he was having his breakdown wandering room to room naked w/o knowing where he was. but i was also like. but then what if i want him to appear again. so. i still havent decided!!!!!

but i very much like the idea of him being some kind of blacksmith or lumberjack, that seems appropriate. and i also agree that dean would initally be freaked out by this scary big grown man who wanders around with an axe!!!!! but they def would be friends :)) i like benny so much. and i love the idea of him teaching dean woodworking :)) dean deserves to have someone like that around!!

[bibbawrites]

I am excited for that Reggie smut and that made me think about a few things! 1) Reggie would be the type to overshare, the boys would end up knowing a little too much about his sex life 2) what do you think it would be like for him to date someone who is very kinky? Maybe some headcanons? Because just imagine some long talks explaining some kinks and telling him you can try the ones he feels like he would like and he's so curious, paying attention and asking questions and eager to try somethings

okay the first thing yes yes yes 100% he fully would share every single little detail with alex, bobby and luke before they died, and then just alex and luke afterwards, but i cant stop thinking about how he would get to a point where its just normal for him to share every single little detail about his sex life with his friends, so one night he’s having a sleepover with julie and flynn and he starts to tell them and they freak out and are like “reggie we dont want to know that” and he would be so confused cause the boys dont mind him telling them about sex why do the girls mind it, and when he brings it up later to alex and luke, luke spends hours laughing about reggie potentially traumatising flynn and julie with his sex life stories 

as for the second one, i’m just gonna ramble if thats okay lol, i fully can see him being the type to take note of every kink you told him you have and he would research them to figure out what they are and how he can help you fulfill your needs, and he would make a list of the ones he wanted to try out with you, plus maybe other things he found while googling that caught his interest, and he would be so eager to impress you with his knowledge and wouldnt be able to wait until you got to try out some of your kinks with him  also idk why but i feel like with reggie you’d have to make a list of things he likes, doesnt like and absolute no’s, because in the moment he’s so eager to please that you’re worried he might do something he doesnt feel comfortable with, so when you have your kinks talk you make sure to write down anything he has a hard no reaction to so that you can avoid it at all costs 

[faeb1tch42069]

My thoughts on 9-1-1: Season 4 episode 8 (breaking point)

• the fact that this episode is called “breaking point” and the fact that it’s the mid season final I think is not making me feel great, but I know there’s drama on lone star so I’m hoping that means we get happy stuff here

• are they the same guys from the episode when they got sucked into the jet engine??

• I feel sorry for the flight attendant lady I would have cracked by now

• go her!!!!

• that did not sound good

• shit that does not look good

Buck focus on your patient

• Ayyyyy!!!! I was right!

• that dude deserves a serious insurance pay out

• that is one lucky guy

• I like Darrell friend

• “he will not quit” “I quit”

• what. The actual. Fuck Edmundo Diaz are you on a date with Christopher’s old teacher??!!!!!

• are they doing homework??

• he has buck!!

• buck??

• as much as I hate the fact they made Eddie and ana date, if it means more buck buck and Christopher time, I am all for it!

• is Albert still with Veronica

• I am not emotionally prepared for anything to go wrong with this baby

• a home birth? I mean it’s not like chimney hasn’t delivered a baby before

• the mother fuckin documentary lady!!!!!

• finally!! 9-1-1 actually making bets!

• buck has friends!!

• “jump jump jump jump” even Bobby has given up

• them using this for therapy time is awesome!

• please don’t make Buck and the news lady a thing again

• no no no no!!!!

• Maddie seems a bit stressed

• Athena not liking Maddie’s mum!!!!!!

• mum!Athena to the rescue!!

• Angela basset is one of my favourite actors, I’m glad she’s getting more screen time!

• Hans family is so cute I love them

• they have to adopt nia!

• ok something fishy is going on with this lady

• is there a body in the fridge?

• oh thank god there’s not a body there

• oh it’s in the walls instead

• he’s still alive??

• well at least she won’t have to see her husband in prison

• why they gotta do that to Christopher and Eddie?

• buck looks traumatised

• please tell me she’s there as friends?

• nope not friends

• this dinner is not going well

• yes friends??

• Christopher??

• where is Christopher??

• initiate protective dad mode

• oh thank god he’s with buck!

• yes!!!! Buck and Christopher hug!!

• someone give chimney a hug! Now!!

• she said I love you ☺️

• poor Taylor,

• 188 to the rescue!

• shit that’s not great

• but 188 fire fam helping out makes me happy

• Ayyy! Michael!!

• FRIENDS!! Yes I will take friends!

• domestic chimney and Maddie is exactly what I need before school starts

• yay! Albert and buck being friends again!

• shit Karen looks sad why?

• no!! Why the gotta mess up a happy ending?

• so clearly they are going for this ana and Eddie thing but the reasons most of the relationships on the show work is because they are all some form of first responder, Maddie and Chimney, Bobby and Athena, even Buck and Abby! They get loads of time together because of their jobs, that’s why we only see Karen when something big is going to happen, case in point this episode and last episode, Hen had a big decision to make . So I’m wondering how they’re gonna give Eddie and ana screen time together because it’s not gonna be like Athena or Maddie meeting up at a scene or knowing what’s going on as it happens and then have stuff to talk about. So I’m wondering how lone this will last

• also if you couldn’t tell I want buck and Eddie so I am a bit biased!

~animal time~