#elk writes

[elkian]

Thinking about the sugardaddy character reclining on a chaise lounge with his $500 silk shirt open and judgmentally listening to some board of something or other and every now and then he turns to the stocky dude in the orthopedic recliner to his right and goes "hey Herman are you hearing this shit?" and Herman's job is to go "yeah hon that sounds like absolute bullshit, what do they take you for". Herman's spouse is very supportive of this and sometimes appears on conference calls solely to back up these opinions.

Sugardaddy/sugarbaby relationship but the one with money is an annoying 23 year old who like, made a successful app in college or something, and the poor one is a 40-something single dad with medical debt who was just 'made redundant' at his soul-killing job. Mmmmm-hmmmm.... Thinking about this.

[splinterclan]

Moon 27.4: finding reasons....

[emcapi-gaming]

time for more Ardwin fun facts: mysterious(?) origin story edition

To recap: I decided Ardwin was actually one of the original Warriors of Light and got yeeted forward in time by Louisoix, but her memory got completely scrambled, and she remembers nothing before waking up on the ship to Limsa.

Well, I've now managed to put together a lot of the series of events that occurred between those two things.

First: in her case, Louisoix's teleport was a little bit less "elegant time travel" and a little bit more "ye olden Flow, but slightly fancier, and expecting/hoping that the WoL off-the-charts levels of anima will get them out the other side safely."

This, combined with getting smacked with a rejoining while in the middle of the Lifestream, and with the general Calamity memory-fuckery magic to top it all off, is why her memory is absolutely fried.

She pops back out at the five-year mark, as intended, somewhere in the woods of Old Sharlayan, and she is extremely confused (in the medical sense). Her survival instinct and/or Inner Beast manage to kick in, though, and she lives for several days. Until some poor researcher looking for herb samples stumbles across her and nearly has a heart attack because there is a butt-naked Roegadyn in the middle of the forest, very nonchalantly chowing down on an entire raw elk she managed to club to death with a tree branch, looking like one of those photos of wolves covered in blood after a kill.

Seeing another person randomly panic and run away from her snaps her out of it a little bit (which is fortunate, because the researcher runs away and comes back with a security detail, who would have gone the same way as the elk if she was still in Feral Mode and they tried to apprehend her.)

She doesn't say anything, but she obviously understands what they're saying, and lets them get her some clothes and take her back to the city, and to the medical center there. None of the sages or physicians can figure out what's actually wrong with her, but within a few days, she starts acting more lucid and remembering a few words. ("Healer," "food," and "axe!!!" are some of the first ones.)

About a week in, she's back to speaking in full (though short) sentences and obviously getting antsy. One of the physicians escorts her outside for a walk, and then she sees a ship in the harbor and gets very excited and starts going on about something to do with Limsa. It's not clear what she means, but she's increasingly insistent about having to get to Limsa.

The healers are at a bit of a loss for what to do with her (and also a little uncomfortable with the fact that she stole an axe from somewhere, has been clinging to it like a teddy bear, and literally growled the last time someone tried to take it away) so they shrug and stick her on the next ferry to Limsa Lominsa, assuming she must be from there, which also happens to be the same ferry the Leveilleur twins are taking. Partway through this journey is when she gets a little vision from the Mothercrystal, which coincides with the point where her mind has finally recovered just enough to start saving long-term memory again.

...And then, two years later, Ardwin, Champion of Eorzea and Warrior of Light, returns to Sharlayan, and the researcher who originally found her can't fucking believe his eyes because that's the feral Roegadyn from the woods what the FUCK-

[elkcrown]

Actually bc its easier to post text here on tumblr

gonna give y'all qsmp BOLAS fans a little treat. The baghera & Cellbit return for purgatory 2 had a lot more dialogue for it, but was never used. There were a lot of elements and time constraints that caused their involvement to go way differently than initially planned. It's a shame, because I was super proud of it! So here you go, enjoy the watcher's dialogue that we could've had.

Eye @ BOLAS members

"Greetings, victors. It was a pleasure to find out you chose to remain here, within my domain. This island, it awoke a sadistic desire within each of you, didn't it? You saw how that vermin you once considered your friends turned on you.

How they hurt you, tortured you, made you experience death at their hands over and over and over again. But I can tell, none of you desire to be masochists. And I would be bored of torturing you that same way again.

Do you hate those people? Do you hate how they made you powerless? How they kept taking and taking like greedy rats? You will never be above me, but you can be above that vermin. You have teeth, a blade, any weapon you may desire. You have a rage that must be felt by those below you. Those that hurt you. Those that might hurt you.

There are new contestants. Many new, some old. Go on.

Kill them. Tear them apart, make them feel the pain you felt. Give them no chance to stand, to breathe. Break their spirits, until there is nothing left.

And relish in power you have over them."

[elkian]

*after the court adjourns* "Pss! Hey! Just so you know, people like me can see through those."

"Oh goddammit. Thanks for letting me know."

*hands over business card* "Here, this person does more opaque illusions, and for cheap. That's how I held out until my doc finally approved my HRT."

"Thank you!"

The extra cones and rods in your eyes make it easy to identify fake photos and videos. One day when you’re testifying in court, you notice one of the jurors is “fake”

[six-white-venus]

. . .

[thereseuwu]

I drew mee!! I forgor how to draw myself but yeaaaaaaaah (I really need to practice with my coloring, haha!)

[chronicowboy]

actually the worst writer feeling is not writer's block or no inspiration or just an exhaustion that you can't write through, it's when you have that itch to write but inspiration is juuuust out of reach like i can keep brushing my fingers against the corner of my next idea but i can't quite grab it

[riskyalt]

PART 8

If Tazercraft are mad scientists, Maximus is absolutely insane.

The key difference between them, is that while Tazercraft have their sights on the intangible and improbable, Maximus has always been set on the real and physical. Strange, given his predicament in attempting to research a nonexistent object, is it not?

Quantum energy can and will be harnessed, just give him some time! He swears it's real, a shifty guy in a trench coat with a voice changer throwing him blueprints to a super computer did happen, and SOFIA is functional!

It's just, SOFIA was a project that he had naively shared with a certain Brazilian, and it appears his trust had been breached. The password had miraculously changed one night, and Maximus is neither stupid nor gullible, but a scientist at heart.

Cellbit must have done it.

It hurts, it pains him somewhere deep inside. To see someone he regarded as a good friend turn and stab him right in the back? It's sickening, even, especially given the fact that the Spaniard had done nothing wrong.

Max doesn't keep many slimes, spends all his time downstairs in his secret basement, tinkering and toying with various methods, attempting to make SOFIA reach her full potential without any Quantum plorts. Because those are impossible. Quantum slimes don't exist.

Joder. How is he supposed to fix this again?

The tangible logic of the decision fails him, the two pieces not clicking together. In his interactions with the cat, he'd not detected any form of discomfort or anger, especially not recently. It'd been going well, great, even. This unanticipated maneuver has left Maximus stunned and shocked, hurt and bitter.

If the logic doesn't click, then he supposes he'll have to play to emotion, because down to his core Maximus is a scientist.

He'll need to get Roier, and figure this broken puzzle out.

-

Life goes on in the Far, Far Range.

Cellbit appears and announces work for the Federation. It's not suspicious - like, at all. Bad narrows his eyes at the words the Brazilian is so confidently stating, and tries to capture what it is exactly that makes him so...ersatz.

It could be the smile. Stretched unnaturally wide, not enough to be creepy but enough that it doesn't pass as real. Perhaps it's the interested sparkle gone from the blue eyes that signify a change.

If he were to think on it, the man was likely to be the least pro-Federation member of the Range. Bad couldn't tell you anyone that hated the organisation more with such unfiltered and raw passion.

To see the hybrid strut up to him and start assuring his belief in their goodness? It's difficult to believe. Or, maybe, that's just the demon's utter disbelief speaking.

In some sense, it feels... wrong to see this play out as it has. To watch Cellbit do tasks for Cucurucho. There's something off, but Bad's pretty sure it's the paranoia.

Why is to so confusingly sudden? Fudge this.

-

Cellbit absolutely despises every interaction he's forced to have with another Rancher past this point.

He's always been a great actor, and amplifying his emotions from a tiny flickering flame into a whole character aids in detaching his very real, fragile and aching bones from the Federation worker persona.

The regret that roils in his gut is powerful, consuming, and all the while weighing.

In truth, of course he doesn't want to gather up 'faulty specimens' to be incinerated in a Fed lab. To see the innocence of a Tabby slime that has a stripe in an odd place be replaced by the fear of the sterilised white walls is far too relatable for comfort.

He has a notebook - a new one, white - that he is to record his reports in. Areas with Pogo fruit shortage, water scarcity, usual physical resource concern is to be noted and brought to Cucurucho every 11AM at a changing location on Thursdays - sharp.

They don't care much about that, though. The real emphasis is placed on Tarr watch, and that's where the real job is. Monitoring how they're created, the hotspots, the favourite prey - really observing them as if they're a slime species on their own, and not an unsuccessful merging of chemicals.

But that's not all.

At his time as a worker, Cellbit has already made several groundbreaking discoveries. Listed in order of finding, on a crumpled sheet or paper buried deep in a secret coat pocket:

1) Teleportation.

Somehow, the Federation has the key to teleportation. He's completely sure on this fact, and even considering the science behind it makes his brain hurt. However, importantly, there's something they're hiding. Something big. A thing, as large as an entire species of slime. He knows for certain. He's seen the scientific papers. Read them. He knows - but not enough.

2) Rancher monitoring.

They monitor the Ranchers, a lot. A suspicious amount, for an organisation that claims to simply be a measure of convenience and safekeeping. In what universe does Cucurucho need to know Baghera's exact home address on Earth?

3) Offices.

They're out there. He knows. He's heard the chatting from two workers - the offices are accessed by the Teleportation technology, and somewhere else entirely. He needs to get there.

If anything, he just wants to go beyond the Ancient Courtyard once more.

So, in short.

He despises his jobs, actually.

He despises himself even more.

-

Roier's jaw sets, and his eyes harden.

He remembers the shaking hands and doubtful expression, the nervous stutters and soft moonlight - the gentle words and kind smile, the warmth and Cellbit.

Cold. Silence. Time ticks. He's gone.

Not gone, not like Bobby (he prays), but....gone. The office sits empty, nothing's changed about the tornado of paperwork flung around the space and of the collection of pens long run out of ink at the leftmost corner of the desk. No fresh life has appeared in the Moss Blanket or by the cherry tree in his Ranch.

Cruel how when everything's left the same it aches anyhow.

The silence is familiar, in a wound that's far too recent to forget. No playlist can drown out the wailing of his own feeble heart that keeps taking losses, neither can the feeling of Bobby's favorite Honey-Hunter Largo's large ears brush against his palm ever replace the warmth of those scarred fingertips.

There's an anger brewing, the memory of sharp words and dismayed frowns sitting new in his conscious, his own anxiety from a previous time returning at how easily they'd turned their back.

Beyond that there is confusion. There's a layer of questions and curiosity that he can't quite voice, for something feels undoubtedly off.

He recalls that subtle hint of double agency, something about faking playing as two teams, but it dissipated in front of him as swiftly as a Hunter slime when he's trying to capture it.

Roier is nothing if not an empath at heart, and all he can build off is the solidified connection already built there. They all trusted Cellbit at one point, they all smiled and laughed - let them believe until there is tangible reason that he's not the guy everyone (Roier) took him as.

-

After a period of time publicly working for the Feds, Cellbit decides it's time and heads back to the ruins. Equipment gathered, old notebook in hand - he sets off, past the gates in the dead of night.

Tonight, everything changes.

--

Aight, more general tidbits from this universe!

SOFIA is a supercomputer like in canon, except I'd imagine it has the aesthetic of Viktor Humphries' basement lab. Neon tubes, piping, shiny metal plates, generally dystopian looking. That entire lab area is what I'd imagine Max's base looks like, and where the Slimeulation will be ran due to the available space. I think SOFIA here is less intelligent than in canon as well, and is clearly better at dealing with matters that concern the slimes and fauna around, and it has a suspiciously small record on the Federation. Though, this is partly due to the lack of pure quantum energy it needs to fully function.

Also, Slime Fashion Pods have a gorilla grip on all the Ranchers, even the more reluctant ones like Maximus. Who doesn't want their beloved slimes to have cute glasses on?? Custom pods are common to see across the Range, and the more creative - like Jaiden and Tina - are often asked or commissioned about creating new ones!

As this whole thing goes on, the Tarrs are appearing to become more targeted towards the children. They seem to always be directly in the crossfire before anyone else, and this greatly distresses the Ranchers around. Etoiles is at the forefront of battling the modified ones, identifiable by their size and specific behavior, being a pioneer in understanding how to utilize water on weapons in combat.

Next drabble thing (Part 9) will be Cellbit's trip through the ruins and subsequently the Glass Desert, so that's gonna be fun! At that point this AU will start really diverging from canon, as it's been playing it pretty safe for now.

you and me both 😔 I miss familioier so bad its a problem 😔

I also have a chapter-like angst thing written out for practice surrounding this AU, so I'll make some final edits and post it later

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned :]

Spiderbit Slime Rancher AU where 7Zee Corp. is the Federation, Familioier all run a ranch together filled with Hunter slimes, Rock slimes and Fire slimes because they're Bobby's favorite and all the other additional ones like Honey, Mosaic, Boom and Crystal slimes for Jaiden as well.

Brazilians arrive boom, new ranch, after the disappearances of Felps, Cellbit breaks off to do more investigative work and Richas joins him, which is how they meet Bobby and Roier exploring out in the Moss Blanket getting Hunter slimes.

And then boom. Spiderbit ensues.

Gang im so delirious i don't even know, Slime Rancher 1 is like 50% off on steam summer sale go play it its adorable and amazing

[lepoppeta]

hey, dialogue anon again, reading alastor as embarassed is always a treat lol. i wonder what hes embarassed about, does he have a crush on zestial?

also for the ask game can you do "NOT SURE YET"?

Kind of? I wouldn't explicitly call it a crush, but I like to think that Zestial is one of the few people Alastor actually has a modicum of respect for. Being able to hold any sort of audience with quite possibly the longest-residing Overlord is also a big deal regardless.

NOT SURE YET is an untitled WIP in my files. It's a passage based off of this. It takes place in a universe where A - Vox and Alastor are actually more animalistic (Vox is a shark; Alastor is explicitly an elk) and B - they've sorted themselves out and have approached something that resembles a romantic relationship.

"You said something very interesting while you were unconscious last night," Alastor begins slowly. He glances over his shoulder – Vox is stiff as a board and barely breathing. His claws clutch at the edge of the kitchen table so tightly that he's leaving deep grooves in the white laminate. "I – I did? Oh, God, I didn't think – I could have sworn –" Alastor, feeling rather generous that morning, decides to put him out of his misery prematurely – he lightly sets Vox's mug down in front of him and settles himself in the opposite chair. Vox all but snatches the offering, grateful to have something to do with his hands other than ruin his own furniture. "Relax," Alastor says languidly. "It wasn't of the carnal variety, if that's what you're worried about." Vox's shoulders drop three full inches. "Oh, thank fuck."

[moodbroads]

LF REQUESTS OF LIKE ANYTHING IM SO DRAINED OF IDEAS writing, doodles, bases, moodboards, pngart or whatever its called, game ratings?? maybe even animal ratings??? idek anymore i just wanna do smthin to get my mind busy

[elkian]

Listening to HG Wells' Time Machine on the way to work and there's something very moving about laughing aloud at words written literal centuries ago.

[riskyalt]

here he is! i had a lot of fun trying to imitate the slime rancher art style :D

SCREAMING SOBBING CRYING 😭😭😭😭😭 /EXTREMELY POS

I absolutely adore how you've replicated the style it looks STUNNING. This makes me feel so endlessly happy you don't understand I'll be staring at this for the oncoming months WUAAHUAHDFJJFFBFKFN THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH <3 AAAAAAAAAAAA

I love the subtle hint of 'erm actually' in there it's so on character, this is exactly what I imagined him as REAHH

[dashastoudenova]

I’ve been writing a lot recently, but all of it goes “в стол” (in the table). Basically that means I’m writing purely for myself. I intend to share the story I’m writing someday, but i like having no pressure to finish it, or to make it perfect. I just want it to exist.

(I’m writing about Centaurworld’s Nowhere King)

[shwoo]

Looks like Metazooa got an update a few days ago. It now has two annelids (earthworm and leech), and two myriapods (centipede and millipede), among other things. There's also now enough snakes that the puzzle no longer feels as much like it's about trying to think of every snake in existence until one finally comes up as a possibility. The amount of fish has improved, too.

But a few answers were also removed, for some reason. One of them was "lizard", which I'm in favour of, but the others included more specific stuff like brown crab and whale shark. Maybe whale shark was removed because its closest shared group in this system (Galeoidea) doesn't have a Wikipedia page? You can still get it to come up, though, because the remaining sharks are all in it.

Also, they removed two birds, and added zero. Maybe because the classification they're using splits Neognathae, the clade that most modern birds are in, into twenty-eight direct subgroups? The game only has birds from eleven of those (twelve before the current changes), but that's still enough to justify using a hint if it's not a passerine or fowl.

This game is a cool idea, which is why I just spent so much time rambling about some fairly minor changes, but I still think it could use a lot of improvement.

Actually, here's a probably full list of what was added and removed, just in case anyone else cares! I got the names from the page source, which lists them so they can pop up as suggestion. I had a list to compare from for reasons. In total, unless I missed something, there were thirty-two additions, and eight removals.

Added: Earthworm (annelid) Leech (annelid) Mussel (bivalve) Nautilus (cephalapod) Giant octopus (cephalapod) Bigfin squid (cephalopod) Centipede (myriapod) Millipede (myriapod) Barnacle (crustracean) Pillbug (crustacean) Mantis shrimp (crustacean) Prawn (crustacean) Mayfly (insect) Hercules beetle (insect) Sea cucumber (echinoderm) Sand dollar (echinoderm) Goblin shark (cartilaginous fish) Tiger shark (cartilaginous fish) Tuna (ray-finned fish) Guppy (ray-finned fish) Anglerfish (ray-finned fish) Boa constrictor (lepidosauran reptile) Rattlesnake (lepidosauran reptile) Viper (lepidosauran reptile) King cobra (lepidosauran reptile) Tortoise (archelosaurian reptile) Snapping turtle (archelosaurian reptile) Caiman (archelosaurian reptile) Opossum (mammal) Possum (mammal) Chipmunk (mammal) Moose (mammal) Yak (mammal)

Removed: Brown crab (crustacean) Shrimp (crustracean) Whale shark (cartilaginous fish) Lizard (lepidosauran reptile) Albatross (bird) Rockhopper penguin (bird) Naked mole-rat (mammal) Snow leopard (mammal)

[kandlewick]

(written by my friend acky) wrote a lil something for prospective harvesting 2 event with my twst oc Elk hehe

It was an invitation that should have been seen by Elk Bentham’s eyes; not those of their Dorm’s head. Yet here the pair stood on the Rosenfluch doorstep, knocking on the door. This was far worse than when they’d brought Jamil. 

“Adam, you invited Malleus? I’m relieved you two are finally friends,” Elk said, demonstrating that clearly something went wrong with Adam sending mail by post instead of making the hike across campus. In that moment he could at least understand why most opted for personal phones and text messages. 

Spending a week with Malleus in his home sounded like a nightmare. But Adam also felt a strange swell of pride for his real friend being proud of him; he knew they’d be equally disappointed if he just rejected that fae outright. He ought to try to formulate a way to let him down easily. “Well, I hadn’t anticipated it, honestly. It was more of an open invitation to you, Draconia could come as well. Though I’m sure he has much more important duties to attend to in Briar Valley.”

The fae grinned in a disgustingly smug manner. Adam desperately wished he had a broom near the door just so he could swat the princeling away. “I should have no such engagements, Dorenglas.”

“Ah. Great.”

The housewarden of Rosenfluch envisioned being able to bury his fellow housewarden in the rose garden and leave him there for the following week. But frankly, it’d probably be useless considering his magic. Maybe Adam himself could let a bookshelf fall on him in the dorm library and claim full-time recovery at home, though he did still wish he could bring Elk along. “You’re frowning again, Adam. It’s your head bothering you?”

Despite being unquestionably the smallest person at the entrance, they reached up and patted his head. The relief was instant, albeit not an actually curse related headache. Fae-related, though, that was another story… “I’m alright.” He gave them a smile, though it felt forced through a sieve of annoyance. 

It would have been nice to show one of his first genuine friends his hometown on their own! Especially considering how lonesome they felt after that recent school trip, showing them that family could be more than who one was related to would have been nice. But now he has to cater to a big, stupid magic lizard too. “Don’t grind your teeth, that’s no good for them.”

“Sorry.” Unclenching his jaw felt  like a monumentous task, though. 

“…was I not intentionally invited?” The fae finally seemed to have gotten the hint. If he uninvited himself, it’d kill two birds with one stone. 

But in that moment he realized it wasn’t just the fae who was distressed in that moment. His friend’s sadness matched their housewarden’s, and that’s when he finally realized the pair hadn’t just arrived on his doorstep, but had done so hand-in-hand. How could he forget the numerous times Elk had gushed about how cute and charming they found their housewarden? How they wanted to get closer to him, but they were never sure of how welcome they were with all his associates around? That at times they felt the same as any other member of their house, unable to approach the fae’s rising star?

Yet now they were finally a little closer. And if they went on a trip with Adam, surely they could close the gap between them. 

Damn his romantic heart. 

“It was an open invitation. You’re as welcome to come as Elk is.” Even as he said it, he felt like his tongue was going to dive down his own throat and choke him. His friend had the worst taste in men, himself included. 

The princeling’s face morphed into a look of shock, then glee. He even (though unconsciously, perhaps) squeezed Elk’s hand. “Wonderful. Then I shall pack for this upcoming trek.”

His friend owed him and then some. Perhaps he could privately request them to come along on some weekends. Even if in this moment he was quite sure he’d be seeing much more Malleus Draconia.