#blowt
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beezlebubs-art · 3 months ago
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My friend @jjdogasaur 's blow't design because I was reminded of it's existence and I remembered loving it and it cool. Care bear glitter walrus
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sinisterr-vorm · 11 months ago
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okay i'll stop making fucked up msm gifs
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katkalis-the-fanartist · 4 months ago
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BLOW'T
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Currently trying to breed one of these fellas...very pretty!
Suggested by @jjdogasaur !
My friend code: 1058362382LA
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jjdogasaur · 11 months ago
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To everyone who knows little to nothing about my Burnout Au, try to assume what the hell is happening in this au according to this picture, courtesy of @solunasilver
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gaylight-prairie · 2 years ago
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misty-zzz · 1 year ago
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Hoo-man blow’t
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the dude!!!
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digitulworld · 8 months ago
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can bbb give the animators a raise that is the most astounding attention to detail ive ever seen thank you magical nexus. ok let me go in detail about each of the animations like a normal person:
-floot fly stretching its arms out before playing and having one hand bouncing to the rhythm then patting its face as it plays is making me scream. floot fly is so cute thats my friend the fly
-clackulas circular motions as it plays is so groovy. if you place it next to peckidna they both synchronize while they play. i love how it moves around and is actually dancing to its music
-SPEAKING OF PECKIDNAAAAA 😭 the birds move up n down on the spikes and im so glad it makes it so that the birds are putting effort instead of just Pecking
-gob swaying from side to side then shaking a bit while playing is making me explode bc how do you achieve that much animation with a SPHERE. clapping so loudly and with joy
-tootoo has the best animation i cannot describe why or what it does. just watch it. watch their little jumps and them trying to balance on one foot and dancing in a circle and fixing its skirt
-bulbo looks more concentrated on what its doing and even taps its foot at one point. and all three of its eyes look together at one point its so cute i love you bulbo
-SAME GOES FOR HAWLO it jumps around and puts more force into its drumming. squot also feels more grounded in its animation but i always thought their animation was Pretty Solid
-FIDDLEMENT HELLO it spins around and has these little pauses while hovering higher in the air. the little spinning plates on the bottom change speeds depending on the animation i love it
-gloptics arms move really smoothly and it looks like its rubbing its green arm a bit after it plays. theres def been an improvement when it comes to animating arms built with that many rigs
-blowt bouncing fun having fun being silly. it makes blowt feel more lightweight even though its so big and imposing like a quad should be. its bouncing like a toy with the most deadpan expression 😭
-THERES JUST SO MUCH BOUNCE and little details like bridgit scratching its nose and plinkajou pawing at its bones. seriously just watch the animations
my opinion on the song itself: its fine =/
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dabantam · 6 days ago
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Kalandero: my own original fantasy setting
This is going to come as a shock to everyone reading this, but I’m not really the biggest fan of fantasy settings. I’m not sure why, though. Maybe it’s because I prefer the overall familiarity of urban fantasy and the usual reimagining of the usual fantasy tropes in a modern setting. Even the two fantasy settings I’ve already created (the Aetherverse and Paracht from “Star Fighter Kafka”) are subversions of the usual fantasy tropes (the Aetherverse being a “post-post apocalyptic” urban fantasy setting, and Paracht as a whole is a take that towards the isekai genre). In any case, I decided to take a crack at making my own fantasy setting, though with a thoroughly original flair (no elves, no dwarves, no dragons, everything from scratch). 
The Setting 
Starting things off, we need an actual setting, let’s call it “Kalandero”. Kalandero is a vast and sprawling country, split into several different kingdoms. Up north, in the region of Cornicopium (the most bountiful region), there are the kingdoms of the humans and the droks. However, even further north is the Frigid Wastes, a frozen tundra that is mostly populated by small bands of snow kunabas. Towards the east is the region of Quagmus (a region of swamplands), home to the kingdom of the gamlits. Towards the center of Kalandero and down south is the Blazing Wastes, a relentless desert that’s home to the kingdom of the kunabas. Far in the west is the region of the Tokata Jungle, home to the kingdom of the jalps. The region is also home to Mt. Scovilla, an active volcano that is often used as a stronghold for the jaguar folk. Along the western coast is the Sirena Shore, which is home to several fishing villages. Off the coast is the island of Mobula, which, fittingly enough, serves as the neutral ground between the land dwellers and the aquatic mobulans. High above the country are the Sky Prairies, floating islands in the sky that serve as the territory of the ogons. However, deep underground resides the Rot Cavern, originally a gargantuan creature whose corpse has long since become a massive, festering cavern home fetid rivers, forests of bioluminescent mushrooms, and worst of all, the blowt. 
Species 
As mentioned above, this setting isn’t going to have any of the usual fantasy races (I’m definitely not calling them that, and good on Wizards of the Coast for finally realizing that “species” is a better term than “race”), but instead, is going to have wholly original species (some of which, you’ve already seen mentioned in some of my other works). 
Humans: Humanity… they’re pretty much what you expect. Humans are fairly common throughout Kalandero, spread out throughout most of the country, with their kingdom being located in Cornicopium. 
Droks: A species that I’ve used throughout my work, droks are another fairly common species throughout Kalandero. Combining both feline and reptilian features, they possess sleek, scaly skin like a snake that comes in a variety of colors (from reddish purple to dark blue), pointed cat ears, a feline esque face, a long, thin tail, black or red hair, and three fingered hands tipped with claws. They mostly live in woodlands throughout Kalandero, building log cabin villages, with their kingdom being located in Cornicopium alongside the humans. They actually come in a variety of forms depending on where they live, including: woodland droks (basically what I described above), snowy droks (shorter, stockier, and sporting white hair while living in the tundra), beach droks (seaside dwelling droks with reddish skin and webbed hands and feet), and jungle droks (tall, muscular jungle dwellers with mottled skin). 
Kunabas: Large, stout bodied humanoids, Kunabas are natural born survivors, as well as the tallest of the races, standing at an average of eight feet tall. Possessing thick, leathery skin, rock hard muscles, and cast iron stomachs that can digest even the most rotten meat, they travel through the harshest areas in wandering camps, often trading goods with other travelers and living by a strict code of honor. There are two variants of Kunabas: the common kunaba (residents of the Blazing Wastes, with bald males and short haired females, as well as being the only variant that established a permanent kingdom), and snow kunaba (residents of the Frigid Wastes, possessing thick, shaggy heads of white hair). 
Gamlits: Strange little creatures resembling a mix of mammal and bird (almost like a rat forced into the shape of a velociraptor), Gamlits are the engineers of Kalandero. Living in a corporatocracy, they care about nothing but making a profit, even going as far as to enslave other creatures such as jalps and crigglaks to work in their forges. They have even been known to backstab each other, entrapping each other in their people’s laws and forcing them to become their debt slaves (either that or face execution). The gamlits are also the most technologically capable race in Kalandero, cobbling together impressive machines of war and transport infused with magic, allowing them to establish settlements far beyond their kingdom in Quagmus, even venturing forth into the Sky Prairies, putting them at odds with the Ogons.
Jalps: A race of amphibians, Jalps fill the roles of halflings and similar “cute races”. Resembling a cross between a tree frog and an axolotl, they’re often found in damp or humid regions such as Quagmus and the Tokata Jungle, forming little tribes and practicing shamanism. While the jalps of the jungle are generally friendly and have even formed a kingdom, those of Quagmus are lot more hostile, living in small war camps and filling their territories with a variety of boobytraps (though, it’s understandable, considering they’re often under threat of being captured and enslaved by the gamlits). 
Jaguar folk: A race of humanoid jaguars, the jaguar folk are the proud warrior race of Kalandero. Making their strongholds around Mt. Scovilla, they venture forth into the Tokata Jungle in hunting parties. Using fangs and claws alongside spears, they value martial might above all things, showing respect to those that can best them in battle. 
Mobulans: A bizarre race of manta ray-like creatures, mobulans are the merfolk of Kalandero. Living throughout the ocean surrounding the country, though they often congregate around the island of Mobula and around the Sirena Shores, they are collectors of strange and unusual artifacts (usually items found in shipwrecks). While they can walk on land (albeit, in an awkward waddle), they are incredible swimmers, practically flying through the water on wing-like fins. They also possess two sets of eyes, one set on their faces and the other set on top of their heads (this pair is mainly used when they’re swimming). They also have a tenuous relationship with land dwellers, as while they’re willing to do business with them, there has been a history of mobulans being caught by fishermen and sold to aristocracy as oddities. 
Ogons: A strange, mysterious race of beings, the Ogons are the residents of the Sky Prairies. Constantly covered in all concealing robes, no one is entirely certain what exactly they actually look like besides being humanoid in shape (and some even question if they’re even that). Ogons are among the few creatures naturally capable of using magic, spending their time in their cities studying magic and its various applications. While they don’t interact with ground dwellers that often, they do have a low opinion of them, usually mocking them for their lack of magic but willing to assist them in dealing with the Gracious. 
Blowts: Natives of the Rot Cavern, blowts are among the most reviled creatures in Kalandero. While they resemble humanoid flies at first glance, they’re actually sentient swarms of flies that have the ability to merge together into their humanoid forms. Living in cities built in the Rot Cavern, they have one of the most disturbing means of reproduction of any creature. Capturing other humanoids and bringing them back to their cities, the Blowts proceed to inject their captives with egg capsules, which proceed to hatch into an entire swarm’s worth of flies that consume their host and form a new blowt. With all this in mind, it would be easy to see them as an evil race, similar to the Mindflayers. However, in reality, they aren’t any more evil than any other race. In fact, they don’t even find joy in the act of implanting eggs. It’s just that the brood needs a humanoid host as a template for their new body (any other host, like an animal, will simply result in an animal-like creature). While there are groups of blowt that simply view hosts as nothing but prey, the majority of them are regretful about it but simply accept it as a necessary evil to continue their existence (though some of them choose to be celibate). 
Monsters 
Of course, every fantasy setting has to have its own variety of monsters and creatures. Kalandero is no different. 
Squamps: A species of small, egg shaped monsters, squamps are among the most common monsters found in Kalandero. Similar to slimes in other fantasy settings, they’re usually the first threat young adventurers will encounter when first setting out. Resembling beady eyed eggs waddling around on nubby little legs, they possess large, wide mouths along their lower halves big enough to swallow small animals (or even a small child) whole. They can be found all over the country, coming in a variety of different forms including: common squamps (the kind often found throughout forests and woods), snow squamps (hairy squamps found in the Frigid Wastes, capable of spitting out globs of spit at prey, freezing them solid), thorny squamps (squamps living in the Blazing Wastes and around Mt. Scovilla covered in thorns to deter predators), rancid squamps (wart covered squamps that can spit toxic slime at prey), and flying squamps (squamps who live in the Sky Prairies that possess two small wings in place of legs). 
Crigglaks: Eerie stone creatures resembling a cross between a goblin and a gargoyle, crigglaks are a frequent pest in the wilds of Kalandero. Being more of a threat than squamps due to their organizational skills, they form small bands to stalk the highways of the country. Believed to have been the result of an experiment from ancient times, crigglaks are crafted from stones and magic rather than being born naturally, starting off craggy and rough in appearance when young, but gradually more smooth and polished as they grow older.  While they often ambush caravans to rob them of jewels and gold to decorate themselves with, they are often captured by gamlits to work in their factories. 
Grinders: The obligatory lumbering brute, grinders are insatiable gluttons. Possessing large bodies and enormous hooked beaks that can crack through solid bone like it was nothing, they are ruled by their perpetual hunger and often attack farms and villages for food. While they’re feared for their strength and their willingness to eat anything they can catch, they’re also rather stupid and can be easily distracted by food.
Plutchicks: Monsters born from and attracted to high amounts of emotions, plutchicks are an unusual breed to come across. Born into the world when groups of people experience the same emotion around strong sources of magic, they come in a variety of forms depending on the emotion they form from. While they start off as simple wisps, they slowly gain a physical form as they absorb more emotional energy from people, becoming stronger in the process. The different varieties of plutchick include: the joyous (rotund creatures who feed off happiness), the irate (devilish creatures who feed off anger), the morose (hunched over creatures that feed off sadness), the frightful (skeletal beings who feed off fear), and the adoring (furry, adorable beings that feed off love). All these variations will do everything they can to promote their respective emotions to further empower themselves… usually to the detriment of those they target. 
Scaldere: A race of mushroom monsters, scaldere are some of the more unsettling creatures of Kalandero. While they mostly resemble squat little mushroom men that live in dark, dank places deep in the forests and rainforests, there is a special form that they can take on during certain times of the year: the scaldere queen (sometimes called the mushroom maiden). The scaldere queens are a much different from their lesser counterparts, easily passing for normal women of any species (though with fleshy frills around their joints and a large, hat-like mushroom cap on their heads). Whenever new queens form, they wander about looking for suitable targets, usually lonely individuals in remote areas. Whenever they find a target, they then proceed to change their appearance to make themselves more appealing to their prey, afterwards, they present themselves to the unsuspecting victim, acting as if they were lost in the woods. Should the victim fall for this ruse, the queen scaldere will proceed to embrace them, sprouting roots from their bodies that penetrate their catch and anchoring them both to the ground. Using the victim as a source of nutrients, the queen scaldere will begin producing spores, creating a new colony of scaldere. 
Gumon: The “dragons” of the setting, gumon are among the most dangerous creatures in Kalandero. While most people claim they are giant spiders, nothing could be further from the truth (in fact, a gumon looks about as much like a spider as a dragon looks like a lizard). Possessing eight long legs ending in human-like hands, a wide toothy maw that stretches the full length of their heads, and eight bulging eyes all attached to a round, hairy body, they can easily overpower most prey, even being able to swallow human sized prey whole. Like spiders, they also have the ability to produce silk and possess venom, however, they mostly use their silk to make traps for prey and their venom comes in the form of noxious breath that slowly paralyzes those who breathe it in. Gumon are dangerously smart creatures, as well as collectors of various treasures, creating vast treasure troves in their nests within caves and old castles. Despite presenting themselves as civil towards those who enter their lairs and are willing to make a trade (for the right price, of course), any encounter with a gumon should be treated with the utmost caution, as they’ve been known to turn savage at the drop of a hat (an experience very few survive). 
Observers: Of course, every fantasy setting should have a creature reminiscent of D&D’s beholder, and Kalandero is no different. Observers are one of the most enigmatic creatures in the setting, with no one even knowing what they actually look like, only seeing a shadowy portal with two bright lights peering out that may or may not be their eyes. While they normally just float about various parts of Kalandero and, as their name suggests, observe things (filling people who see them with a nameless dread), they have a tendency to actually reach out from their portals, grab anything or anyone that catches their interest, and drag them back into their world (even with their limbs out, no one can tell what they actually look like, each limb completely different from each other). No one really knows what lies on the other side of the portal, as very few ever return, and even those that do come back are rendered catatonic from the experience.
Wild Ones: Frightening monsters that live in the wilderness, the wild ones are the werewolves and lycanthropes of Kalandero. Originally just normal humans (though there have been reports of other beings being turned), they were cursed into their current state by the Gracious, usually for breaking some unwritten rule or if they’re caught harming an area where the Gracious considers home. Initially resembling a naked, hairy humanoid, upon closer inspection, it’s revealed that they possess sharp talons, overgrown and sharpened teeth, and wild eyes that resemble those of a wildcat or a wolf. Completely feral and savage, they often attack anything that moves with tooth and claw, feasting on the flesh of whatever they kill.
Magic, the Elements, and the Gracious 
Magic is a bit unusual in Kalandero. While most creatures aren’t naturally capable of using magic on their own (with the exception of Ogons), all beings are capable of functioning as natural conduits for magic, channeling it through their bodies from a source and casting spells that way. Throughout the country are natural wellsprings of mana that people can gather magic from, collecting it in special carved talismans that can be used to perform magic. While anyone can use these talismans to cast spells, some people are capable of channeling this magic more efficiently than others, allowing them to perform more magic while using less of the mana. These individuals usually go on to be wizards and mages, serving high ranking royals and dignitaries, opening their own magic shops, forming their own schools for other magically inclined individuals, and even becoming explorers, venturing out to gather more mana. Magic itself can be separated into six different groups or “elements”. These elements are: 
Fire: Magic usually associated with fire and things related to fire, such as cooking, smithing, and glass blowing. 
Water: Magic associated with water, as well as ice and other liquids. 
Earth: Magic associated with rocks, dirt, and plant life. 
Air: Magic associated with the wind, as well as lightning. 
Light: Magic associated with light, as well as illusions, and luck.
Shadow: Magic associated with darkness, as well dreams, and void. 
However, wherever there’s a mana wellspring, this usually means that the area is populated by the Gracious. Basically the fair folk and elementals of Kalandero, the Gracious (so called because everyone is too afraid to call them anything else) are capricious nature spirits that embody each of the six elements. Dangerous and unpredictable, they are both feared and sought after, as they often have something everyone wants, but it usually comes at a steep price… oftentimes fatal. The Gracious are: 
Ignits: The Gracious of Fire, ignits are the most vindictive of the Gracious. Having features similar to ants, they are hard working and diligent craftsmen, creating a variety of weapons and glassware of incredible quality. Many people actually desire these ignit made products and will actually track them down and trap these Gracious, promising to release them in exchange for a sword or a vase. While an ignit will be willing to go along with this, they will add one stipulation to their offering: never get it wet. Of course, after receiving their prize, the trapper will eventually forget about this stipulation, either using water to clean their weapon or filling the vase with water to put a bouquet of flowers, after which, it will end up dissolving into nothing, with the laughter of the ignit echoing through their home.
Laguna: The Gracious of Water, laguna are natural born romantics. Having features similar to fish and turtles, they often fall in love with mortals, shape shifting into more appealing forms to seduce them. They’ve even been known to marry these partners and start families with them. However, a laguna’s love is fleeting, as they will often leave their families behind should they find someone more appealing to them (it’d be more appropriate to say that they’re in love with love more than anything else). Unsurprisingly, many famous naval captains and winemakers in Kalandero claim to have some laguna blood flowing through their veins from a distant ancestor. 
Lithos: The Gracious of Earth, lithos are considered the greediest of their kind. Having features similar to moles and beetles, they hoard large piles of rare jewels and metals in their territory, often adorning themselves with uncut gems. They are often victims of robbers, either being trapped or tricked into drinking themselves into a drunken stupor, duped into giving their captors their jewelry or the location of one of their hoards in exchange for their freedom. However, the thief will soon discover that this jewelry will have turned into dirt when they return home, and the area where the stash was located is littered with hundreds of markers, rendering impossible to find the treasure trove.
Zephreans: The Gracious of Air, zephreans are the most actively malicious of the Gracious. Having features of various birds, they often attack lone travelers on stormy nights, either knocking them down with gusts of wind or blasting them with lightning. However, after the deed is done, the zephrean will splash their target with a healing ointment, healing them of any wounds and leaving them clueless as to what had happened. 
Shimrals: The Gracious of Light, shimrals are master manipulators. Often resembling living marble statues, they take a malicious glee in tormenting their victims through illusions and tricks. They often disguise themselves as wealthy nobles to enter the houses of lords, simply so they can sow the seeds of discord among themselves and their families. However, this only ever happens to noble families who abuse their power and their people, so in a twisted kind of way, the shimral is exacting a sort of punishment on them. 
Nyx: The Gracious of Shadow, nyx are the most mysterious of the Gracious. Often appearing as living shadows, they are the guardians of secrets and things that were never meant to be known. It’s said that those who delve into forbidden secrets will be haunted by a nyx, their very presence filling them with an overwhelming sense of dread. 
The Undead 
Of course, in any fantasy setting, there has to be undead creatures. Kalandero has its own legions of undead ghouls. 
Livid Bones: A reimagining of the classic living skeleton, the livid bones are the zombies of this setting. The result of arcane rituals, they are created by taking dried bones and carving magic runes into them, imbuing them with life. With each individual bone imbued with life, they’re capable of disassembling themselves and recombining to form larger bodies. While one or two are hardly a problem, enough of them are capable of overwhelming their prey, stripping it of flesh and harvesting the bones to create more livid bones. 
The Consumed: While normal ghosts exist in Kalandero, there are also the unsettling spirits known as the Consumed. Taking the form of spectral humanoid barn animals, these spirits are associated with a particularly disturbing legend. Long ago, there was once a powerful lord who possessed a monstrous appetite. Everyday, he would eat increasingly large meals, easily depleting his livestock and the livestock of everyone living on his land, even so far as to eat the horses. It wasn’t until he ate the last horse on his land, an old warhorse, that he finally felt satisfied. However, as he slept off his last meal, the lord was confronted by the monstrous ghosts of all the animals he ate, led by the terrifying ghost of the warhorse. Towering over the terrified lord, the warhorse explained that it was only natural for them to be eaten (all things either eat or be eaten), but there was nothing natural about the lord’s appetite. Furious at the sniveling man, the warhorse laid out his demands: they want it all back, their flesh, their blood, their bones, their viscera, everything! When the lord explained that he couldn’t give any of it back, the ghostly animals decided to make due. The next morning, the servants of the household came to wake up the lord, only to be horrified when they discovered that his bedroom was an absolute disaster, drenched from wall to wall with blood, all that remained of their lord. This is the fate of all who consume without restraint or feed on animals that shouldn’t be eaten. 
Gresnik: Filling the role of the usual vampires as high ranking undead, we have the Gresnik. Said to be born from particularly sinful people, they rise from their graves with nothing but malice in their hearts. Possessing pale skin, sharp teeth and claws, and a nose and ears that have long since rotted away, they thrive on acts of cruelty and hatred, often sneaking into cities to kidnap victims to torture. They are often prone to eating their victims, with special preference to the brain, as they are capable of absorbing the memories of their victims by eating their brains. Over time, they begin to accumulate a vast amount of memories that they can use to their advantage, either by breaking into hidden treasure troves or by blackmailing people into submission, eventually forming their own criminal organizations and amassing a large following of underlings to do their work for them. As a gresnik grows older, they develop a thick layer of waxy build up, usually on their head and shoulders in the form of horn-like mounds, making them seem more demonic with age. This wax is actually the gresnik’s malice in physical form, and they can actually break it off and feed it to their most loyal servants, not only making them stronger, but also ensuring that they rise as a new gresnik when they die. However, it’s said that they can be warded off with special charms made from sunflower seeds soaked in holy water, and that they can be killed by being stabbed through the heart with a stake carved from one of the boards of their old coffin. 
Custodians: The final undead we’ll be covering are the custodians, sort of a mix of golems and the lore of mummy curses. Long ago, there was an ancient civilization that lived on Kalandero who had mastered all sorts of advanced sciences and magic, creating a plethora of magic artifacts that can be found throughout the country. The most infamous of these are the large, statue-like figures known only as the custodians. Created through a long forgotten ritual, they were the result of a person (usually a criminal) having their soul removed and transferred into a stone body, after which, it’s put to work, cleaning, chopping wood, and other various tasks, as well as guarding households. However, while this ancient civilization has long since passed on into myth, the custodians remain, keeping watch over the ruins of their former masters and hunting down anyone who dares to rob them. 
Gods 
Finally, we have to talk about the gods of Kalandero, which are… a bit odd to say the least. While there are technically four gods (each one representing one of the four seasons), each one is made up of two aspects, the Lord and Lady. The prominence of each god changes with the seasons, with the season of that year ruled by one aspect or the other (for example, during Spring, most people will worship either the Spring Lord or the Spring Lady). Along with the typical responsibilities of the church seen in other fantasy settings, members of the church are responsible for divining which aspect of that season’s god will be in charge that year, ensuring that proper rituals are performed in their honor. These gods are also the ones that seem to be in charge of the Gracious, with tales of the Gracious actually backing down after receiving a sign from the gods, and even serving as their messengers. These gods are: 
The Spring Lord (god of nature and animals) 
The Spring Lady (goddess of birth and children)
The Summer Lord (god of rivers, lakes, and the sea) 
The Summer Lady (goddess of war and the forge) 
The Autumn Lord (god of wine and celebrations) 
The Autumn Lady (goddess of harvest and fortune) 
The Winter Lord (god of death and hunters) 
The Winter Lady (goddess of hearth and home)
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peterpijls1965 · 3 months ago
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Ik werd gek in mijn hoofd
Ook afgelopen nacht was het bal in mijn beschermde woonvorm. Toen ik om 2:00 uur een sigaret rookte op het terras, werd ik besprongen door mijn buurvrouw M., die ook een sigaret wilde. Ik gaf haar de mijne en ging naar binnen.
Vervolgens werd er binnen vijf minuten drie keer aangebeld. Uiteraard was dat M., maar ik deed niet open. Geef ze een vinger, en ze grijpen de hand.
Maar om 4:00, toen ik weer even buiten was, zat ze me op te wachten. Toen ontspon zich de volgende dialoog:
„Je had me een sigaret beloofd.”
„Die heb ik je gegeven.”
„Nee, je zou een sigaret voor me draaien.”
„Ik heb je een sigaret gegeven.”
„Ik zat uren op je te wachten. Ik werd gek in mijn hoofd.”
„Ik ben ook gek in mijn hoofd. En trouwens, je moet 's nachts niet bij me aanbellen. Ik heb een roommate die wil slapen.”
Misschien is het moeilijk voorstelbaar, maar M. is een stuk minder gek en lastig dan een van de begeleiders hier. Dat is X., die een burn-out heeft gehad en zichzelf veel zieliger en belangrijker vindt dan de bewoners. Hij laat niet na dat voortdurend te onderstrepen door constant door het pand te sprinten, wapperend met formulieren. Hij sticht overal binnenbrandjes die zijn collega’s mogen blussen.
Toen ik laatst bij hoge uitzondering „hoi” tegen hem zei, liet hij van schrik prompt een thermometer op de grond kapot valen. Dat is zijn slechte geweten, waarover later meer.
Gisteren had buurvrouw M. al dan niet per ongeluk de stekker uit haar koelkast getrokken. Niet veel later stond haar keuken blank. X. had dienst. Hij kwam met een emmer en een dweil aansprinten.
„Godverdomme kut”, hoorde ik hem M. begroeten.
Ik praat in principe nooit meer met hem, mijd ieder oogcontact en doe nooit de deur open als hij aanbelt (vijf tot tien keer per dag). Ik vind hem namelijk een gevaarlijke gek. Een half jaar geleden communiceerde ik dat met een paar van zijn collega’s, nadat hij het wel erg bont had gemaakt, namelijk door tijdens het sterfbed van mijn vader dagelijks als een hysterische maniak bovenop me te vliegen als hij me zag.
Hij zei dan altijd: „Als je me nodig hebt, weet je me te vinden.”
Na de tiende keer zei ik tegen mijn begeleidster: „Als hij het nog een keer doet, gooi ik hem van het balkon af.”
Vervolgens werd er een zorgmanager op me afgestuurd, want ik had dreigende taal geuit. Alleen was die manager het helemaal met me eens, al murmelde hij beleefdheidshalve iets over collegialiteit. Ook zei hij: „Hulpverlenen blijft mensenwerk.”
Ik liet niet na hem gelijk te geven.
Die manager heb ik sindsdien nooit meer gezien. Waarschijnlijk omdat ik nooit meer aankondigde iemand van het balkon te gooien. Je moet een beetje opportunistisch zijn als je in een beschermde woonvorm leeft, waar mensenwerk de boventoon voert.
Vermoedelijk daarom wordt mijn buurvrouw M. door de begeleiders helemaal aan haar lot overgelaten. Ze drinkt, ze blowt en ze stinkt namelijk. En ze zet dus de keuken blank. We mogen het haar niet kwalijk nemen. Ze is gek in haar hoofd.
Foto Robert Mapplethorpe.
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sloppysequinz · 1 year ago
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i lobe getting so fucked up and blowted imm so sleepyyy but i wanna stay up and finish my vodka with youuu
You can finish your vodka before you sleep baby then you’ll already be drunk when you wake up
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bucklemonster2 · 1 year ago
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Een Heleboel Gedichten, Nederlands
Een Heleboel Gedichten, Nederlands (I will post English version soon as well)
Alweer een heleboel gedichten geschreven, misschien hebben mensen er iets aan ^u^
Ze zijn wel nogal donker soms lol Enjoy!
4.29 geBroken Belgische Boy Gedicht van Emilia Sameyn 26/11/2023 Waarschuwing: depre'ssie, dru'gs? Hij is een geBroken Brakke Belgische Boy Drinkend Bar Bi'er als een Be'delaar Bij het Borduur Hij wil Big Bo'obies en Bo'oty Maar krijgt enkel Blauwe B'allen Breaking Bad Bekijkend Blowt hij zijn Bo'ng Een idee met zijn Boltzmann-Brein En Begint BasketBal te spelen Misschien zal geBroken Boy Eindelijk Beginnen met een Breakthrough En Beter worden Een Bergopwaarts Begin
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4.30 Kosmische Straling van Ver Weg
Gedicht van Emilia Sameyn
27/11/2023
(NEDERLANDS BENEDEN)
Waarschuwing: Do'od, Existentialisme
Als een Kosmische Straal
Van het Verre Allemaal
Jay Azmaray is here to stay
Is de Wereld wel Okay?
Trawant of Vijand?
Laat ons toch Praten, geef ons een Hand
De Rechtvaardigheid van de Wereld is Groot:
Want Iedereen gaat toch eens Dood
in de Demiurg Droom
De Echo van de Egregore
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4o31 Hyperactieve robotapen Gedicht van Emilia Sameyn 28/11/2023 Als HyperActieve Apen Maar Productief als robots Spring Sprang Sprong Van het Éne
Naar het Andere Toch zitten ze Eeuwenlang Stil Saai FamillieFeest Ze Functioneren Normaal Met 6 uur Slaap InstantDrama en Instagram-Bevrediging "Kom Hier Meteen!, Reageer Nu!" "Bla Bla Bla" en "LOL" Zijn het Sociopaten? Of zijn ze zoals Ons? Verschillende Kanten Op Verschillende Tijden Maskers op Maskers We Weten het Niet Eens In Dromen van Dromen En dat is Oké Misschien zijn we Allemaal Hyperactieve Robotapen
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4.32 Slapende Ogen, Wakkere Geest Waarschuwing: D'epression Te Moe om op te Staan Niet Wakker om te Accepteren Geplaagd door Geesten uit het Verleden Toekomstige Zorgen Ogen Dicht, Mond Dicht Maar de Hersenen Knipperen Licht Catastrofeer Catastrofale Catastrofes Met Mij Met al deze Pijn Waarom willen Mensen wakker Blijven?
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coachprimetv · 1 year ago
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COACH PRIME CHECKS HIS PLAYERS DURING PRACTICE BREAKS DOWN WHAT A TRUE DAWG IS IN FOOTBALL! 🤬😤🔥💨 #dawg #dog #coachprime #coachprimetv #blowthisup #fup #fyp #viral #buffs #colorado #coloradobuffs #coloradobuffaloes #coloradobuffaloesfootball #buffaloes #shedeursanders #shedeur #sheduer #sheduersanders #travis #hunter #travishunter #travishunter💪🏿 #travishunteraffect #interview #nike #nikecheck #coachprimetv #coachprime #🎤 #🏈 #🔥#💪#🐂 #🎯 #💨 #deion #deionsanders #deionsanders21 #deionsandershashtag #cu #cubuffs #skobuffs #skobuffs🦬 #sko #funny #skobuffaloes #skobuff #coachprimetv #footballpractice #collegefootballinterview #football #footballtiktok #footballvideo #footballedit #footballskills #golfcart #golfcarts
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boobachu · 2 years ago
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Cammy watches Konosuba ep 5
"Where's the partner I'm supposed to fall in love with?!" I'm sorry there's no men here Neetboy.
Aqua's a teabag!
Oh God not a wetting yourself fetish.
Where are the alligators? There they are!!!!
PURIFICATION!! PURIFICATION!! PURIFICATION!! PURIFICATION!!
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That's the face of a long day's work.
Oh God Aqua's traumatized.
Oh dang someone else was iseckied.
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She won't come out.
oh boy
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agrnjkahrsgj she sure perked up as soon as she was told she was a goddess LOL
sr,mgnkajsrgniopewrajgoijaerg
He challenged Neetboy to a duel and he just "READYsetGO" and just steals his stupid sword.
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I dunno WTF
Oh God whatshisface is ready for round 2 cuz he learned Neetboy steals panties and he's
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AGUA PAWNCH!!!
skjdfnjksnfkj THEY SOLD THE SWORD HE WAS GIFTED BY AQUA?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!
Oh the demon-knight is back cuz I guess someone keeps blowt up the place I duno
It's a fun show but it's also like... kind of a waste of time...
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handsss48-blog · 2 years ago
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jjdogasaur · 1 year ago
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Blow't but my guy is seepy
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lovesexrelationships · 2 years ago
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